Ilana Auerbach (12:19)
Were involved, some of them, you know, it was hedonistic communities. They had very strict rules and I was never involved. I knew some people who were involved. I knew people who considered it a culture as well. And Nicole Nuvik and I think was involved in one of the houses. I'm not really sure. I got involved in what I call the pleasure community back in 2002. I had left my former husband. You know, each of us from my experience, have a lot of different aspects of ourselves. You could even look at them through the lens of different archetypes. Right, that transcend culture, transcend divisions. So I like to look at this story and my involvement with Nicole and Onetaste through the lens of the Eve and Lilith archetypes. So the good girl and kind of the bad girl seductress. And so I was the quintessential good girl, always doing what I was supposed to be doing. And that's kind of how I grew up and even into my young adulthood, even into my first marriage. So Lilith was, like, banging on my door after a few years into that marriage. And I, you know, finally said when this guy had proposed a few years prior, what I should have said in that moment, you know, when he proposed and this volcano erupted in my belly, was like, ah. And tears come down. He's like, well, does that mean yes? And I. Well, I guess, you know, like this meek Eve, like, okay, whatever you want, darling. So I finally did have the courage to say, I have to leave this marriage. I left the marriage, and I had been like, I'm gonna get a quote for you from Clarissa Pinkala Estes, who wrote that book, Women who Run with the Wolves. I love that book, which is a fabulous book for everybody. And she's a Jungian psychoanalyst. It really describes where I was at at the time, which is. This is a quote from her book, Women who Run with the Wolves. Overkill through excesses or excessive behavior like alcohol, drugs, anger, promiscuity, or even body fitness and junk food is acted out by women who are famished for a life that has meaning and makes sense for them. And so I fit into that really perfectly. And I was thinking, you know, as I read this recently, that that's true for, you know, how particularly women can be susceptible to getting involved with cults, for sure, because, you know, however, we're enculturated, whatever. Whatever wounding we have in childhood, however, we're trying to make it by disconnecting from our authenticity and going along with, you know, accommodating others so that we can just get along to go along and get along. And, you know, that whole story so makes me want to throw up. And I have such compassion for, you know, many of us, not all of us, but many of us who have lived through that or are still living that. And so I left this marriage, and I had a friend who's still a dear friend of mine who was involved in this pleasure community. And so she was hosting a course at her house, and I said, sure, I'll come. I mean, I'm. I'm single now. I'm ready. Let's explore. And so this man named Erewhon, who led the pleasure course, I called them the pleasure people. And so I went to the course. It Was a day long thing. And it was similar. He also had been trained by Vic. He had been involved with this another group called the Welcomed Consensus, which was an offshoot of the Morehouses. Erwin was involved there. Then he came to San Francisco, started his own groups. I had a fun time in the group. A couple months later, I signed up for the advanced course. I didn't even want to go to it. I end up going in his kitchen because he used to host in his apartment in San Francisco. I met this guy and it was kind of like that. Oh my God. Where do I know you from? I recognize you. Turns out that's Bill, who's my man, who's still my little man and my partner and the father of my son and all of that. So that's a little. A little spoiler for. So I met him. We were in this course. And of course I just wanted to take him back to my place. But eventually I did. And so this is where I met Bill. And he was also interested in just exploring my pleasure. It was all about primarily this practice of deliberate orgasm where one person, and it wasn't only the woman, but you know, where one person is at. Effect. So just lying down, receiving, and the other person is at. Cause so either stroking the genitals. Okay. So we. And we. In the course, we did switch off and okay, I was stroking Bill and he stroked me. And so we became research partners researching orgasm. But primarily my orgasms. It was fun. We had an open relationship, which meant that we could date whoever we wanted. So it was super edgy for me being like serial monogamist. I mean, both of us had been serial monogamists. You know, my divorce wasn't even final when I had, you know, met Bill. And so. So we're involved in this fun. And this is a group of super sexy, beautiful, fun, titillating people that we would join. They'd have game nights every week and so forth. So we're hanging out with this group for about a year or so. And the following summer. So this is the summer of 2003. I'm hearing about this woman, Nicole, who had been a former lover of Erewhon when they were in the welcomed consensus or something. And so I keep hearing about her and I'm hearing about her. And this one night that it was a games night, happened to be down in Brisbane, which is a sleepy suburb of San Francisco, just south of San Francisco. So Bill and I show up and there is this woman on the couch. It's not that she's so beautiful and she's. She's certainly an attractive woman, but it was just for her magnetism and her charisma. And I was at a time in my life, pretty much my whole life up till then, where I would my go to was to look outside myself for approval and for what I should be doing. For interest, for purpose, for guidance, for everything. Like it was always like out there. It's going to be out there. Well, then I see Nicole. And even though Erewhan is supposedly the leader of this group, she has got him wrapped around her finger. And I've known Erewhon now for maybe a year and a half and I've seen him lead groups and he's a very strong leader and yet he's like putty in her hands.
