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Donald Trump just keeps on getting shot at. Fortunately for him, if not for the rest of us, the people shooting at him are stunningly incompetent. For some reason, competent shooters always shoot at people causing problems for Israel, like the Kennedys and Charlie Kirk, while the doofuses shooting at Trump couldn’t hit the broad side of an ear. And if by some fluke they do hit the broad side of Trump’s ear with an AR-15 bullet, the bullet itself turns out to be incompetent. Actually, an AR-15 bullet that hits a human ear without leaving any visible sign of damage is worse than incompetent. As Trump would undoubtedly say to such a bullet, had he hired it during his days at The Apprentice: “You’re fired!”

And speaking of bullets getting fired…Trump’s press secretary, Karoline “Machine Gun Lips” Leavitt, predicted last night’s shooting two hours before it happened: “There will be some shots fired tonight!”

Social media reacted with a rapid-fire full-automatic volley of rotten fruit. The consensus: “This didn’t age well.”

Leavitt wasn’t the only one betraying insider awareness that the “shooting” wasn’t on the up-and-up. Fox News reporter Aishah Hasine was in the midst of describing Leavitt’s husband Nicholas Riccio half-bragging half-warning her of what was about to go down, when suddenly and for no apparent reason (beyond the obvious one) Fox cut off the feed.

Naturally, each time yet another blatantly fake “Trump assassination attempt” is unveiled in real time before our eyes, complete with chutzpah-drenched “revelation of the method,” mainstream media goes into overdrive covering up all the obvious tells and pretending to take the ludicrous official narrative at face value. No wonder Gen-Z never even bothers to check what’s on MSM, instead going straight to the ribald chorus of sarcastic derision erupting on social media.

Oddly, the latest fake Trump shooting happened just days after mainstream media suddenly felt compelled to take note of the fact that hardly anybody, even in Trump’s MAGA base, still believes that Trump’s ear was struck by an AR-15 bullet in Butler, Pennsylvania on July 13, 2024. Last week Wired magazine informed us that “MAGA Is Increasingly Convinced the Trump Assassination Attempt Was Staged” and The New Republic echoed “MAGA Increasingly Believes Trump Assassination Attempt Was Fake,” while CNN offered a mind-bogglingly lame debunking: “How would an assassination attempt be ‘staged’?” and MS NOW ‘splained away “Why MAGA has developed conspiracy theories about the assassination attempt on Trump.”

Author’s aside: I was all over the Butler fake Trump shooting long before it became fashionable.

A paranoid conspiracy theorist who imagined that conspirators cover up their unraveling conspiracies by staging even more preposterous, instantly-unraveling conspiracies might be forgiven for wondering whether the latest blatantly-fake “Trump shooting” was staged to distract us from the unraveling of the earlier, equally-blatantly-fake “Trump shooting.” The coverup team, our conspiracy theorist suspects, must be cackling gleefully: “Bwa-ha-ha! They’ve all completely forgotten about Trump’s perfectly intact ear, and how those Secret Service guys let him stand right up and do that fist-shaking photo op in front of the flag, exposing himself to more potential shots, had anyone been actually shooting at him…Now all they’re talking about is Leavitt’s prediction and Fox News cutting off Aminah Hasine and how fake and gay THIS ‘Trump shooting’ is!”

Another shocking fact about the latest “Trump shooting”: The alleged wannabe assassin was NOT, repeat NOT, an Iranian android made of LEGO. (They’re apparently saving that for the next “Trump shooting.”) This time, the patsy, Cole Tomas Allen, a computer science graduate and game developer, was recently named “teacher of the month in Los Angeles County.” According to Trump, the suspect “charged towards the hotel’s metal detectors in possession of ‘multiple guns’” but only managed to fire a couple of shots and lightly injure a Secret Service agent before being taken into custody.

The “somewhat random shooting in loose proximity to Trump, one or more feds injured” schtick echoed last Thanksgiving’s false flag shooting two blocks from the White House, where long-term CIA asset Rahmanullah Lakanwal set himself up for a lifetime pension in witness protection by shooting or pretending to shoot two National Guard members. (Or perhaps he was mind-controlled and actually shot people and will in fact spend the rest of his life in prison.) The Thanksgiving false flag’s motive was all-too-obvious: Demonize immigrants so Trump could unleash the full force of his immigration crackdown. That shooting’s PR impact was sufficient to reverse the wave of court decisions hamstringing Trump’s war on immigrants. In its aftermath, Trump halted all asylum claims, pledged to "end all federal benefits and subsidies to non-citizens" and to “permanently pause migration from all Third World Countries to allow the U.S. system to fully recover." (Here is a typical outside-the-US discussion of the Thanksgiving false flag; if you don’t understand Moroccan Arabic, just use YouTube’s handy auto-translate feature.)

The Thanksgiving false flag’s purpose was obvious (anti-immigration). The Butler ear-nick’s was even more obvious (anoint and elect Trump to obey Israel’s orders to attack Iran). But last night’s shooting at the Washington Hilton, unlike its earlier analogues, did not wear its purpose on its sleeve. Was it meant to demonize award-winning teachers or computer scientists or game developers? Probably not. Was it intended to demonstrate the need for a secure White House ballroom? That is one theory making the rounds on social media, propelled by Trump’s statement that the Hilton was

“…not a particularly secure building…I didn’t want to have to say this, but this is why we’re going to have to have all the attributes of what we’re planning at the White House. It’s actually a larger room, and it’s much more secure. It’s drone-proof. It’s got bullet-proof glass. We need the ballroom! That’s why the Secret Service and the military are demanding it. They’ve wanted the ballroom for 150 years for lots of different reasons. But today is a little bit different. Because today we need levels of security that nobody has ever seen before.”

The theory that Trump’s people would use a false flag to get a ballroom built sounds farfetched. But as Wikipedia tells us, “The project's above-ground construction has faced legal challenges, with construction as of April 18 being allowed to continue until June 2026.” Opponents of the project have called it sickeningly tacky, ostentatious, typically-Trumpian tasteless fiasco that defecates all over the historical integrity of the White House. The National Trust for Historic Preservation has sued to stop the project, while “the Trump administration replied that the ballroom construction must continue for classified reasons of national security that may be shared with the judge but not with the plaintiffs.”

Just as Trump’s anti-immigration agenda had faced legal as well as political challenges th...