Haunted with Jake Haendel of Blink

Summary

Podcast Summary: Two Girls One Ghost – "Haunted with Jake Haendel of Blink"

Episode Information:

• Title: Haunted with Jake Haendel of Blink
• Hosts: Corinne Vien and Sabrina Deana-Roga
• Guest: Jake Haendel, co-creator of the podcast "Blink"
• Release Date: March 25, 2025

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Introduction

In this chilling and deeply personal episode of Two Girls One Ghost, hosts Corinne Vien and Sabrina Deana-Roga welcome Jake Haendel, a remarkable survivor of an incurable brain disease and a central figure in the podcast Blink. Jake's journey from a life-threatening diagnosis to his exceptional recovery is interwoven with supernatural experiences that challenge the boundaries between life and death.

Jake’s Personal Background and Diagnosis

Jake begins by recounting his life before the diagnosis, painting a picture of a multifaceted individual juggling the roles of a head executive chef and a drug dealer. His involvement in drug use, primarily opiates and heroin, stemmed from a desperate need to support himself as his mother battled a terminal illness and his father had moved away.

Notable Quote:

"I lived kind of a double life. I was a head executive chef. I was also a drug dealer." [04:34]

In 2017, Jake experienced severe health issues that led to his hospitalization. Despite his honesty about drug use, the doctors diagnosed him with acute toxic progressive leukoencephalopathy—a rare and terminal brain disease—with only six months to live.

Notable Quote:

"They were incorrect in my case, but they should have been correct." [10:11]

Locked-In Syndrome and Near-Death Experience

Jake details his battle with Locked-In Syndrome, a condition where a patient is conscious but unable to move or communicate verbally. For ten months, Jake was trapped inside his body, unable to signal his consciousness, leading him to confront the terrifying prospect of living in a pseudo-coma forever.

Notable Quote:

"I was stuck with myself. And in blank, you talk about how you were doing math problems and trying to tell yourself all of these things to stay sharp." [14:28]

During this period, Jake engaged in intensive mental exercises, attempting to keep his mind active through math problems and critical thinking to stave off the sense of impending death.

Self-Help Therapy Retreat: Splitting Consciousness

In a profound revelation, Jake shares his experience of splitting his consciousness into two parts during what he describes as an internal self-help therapy retreat. This mental division allowed him to engage in a dialogue with a "deeper, wiser voice," leading to significant personal insights and emotional healing.

Notable Quote:

"I started talking to myself in two voices... my brain would answer my chest in a deeper, wiser voice." [24:08]

This introspective process was likened to a therapeutic retreat, where Jake confronted his past, grief, and the reasons behind his depression and anger.

Out-of-Body and Paranormal Experiences

Jake's journey took an unexpected turn when he began experiencing what he identifies as out-of-body experiences (OBEs). He recounts moments where he could visualize detailed interactions and conversations from a bird's eye view, even while confined to his bed.

Notable Quote:

"I could see myself and I could see her in a chair and I could see like what she was wearing... almost like I could zoom in like security camera." [38:34]

These experiences include seeing his mother-in-law live her final moments and interacting with doctors in highly detailed ways that defy his physical limitations.

Reintegration and Ongoing Challenges

After what felt like two intense months of mental therapy, Jake emerged from his Locked-In state with a newfound sense of peace and acceptance. However, he still grapples with chronic pain and the psychological aftermath of his experiences.

Notable Quote:

"I felt like, my whole body has failed me. The only thing that's working... my brain, my ears, my dick." [24:22]

Despite these challenges, Jake emphasizes his determination to move forward and his appreciation for the support from his friends and listeners.

Paranormal Interpretation and Consciousness Debate

The episode delves into the debate surrounding consciousness and the paranormal. Jake remains skeptical but open-minded about his experiences, pondering whether they were hallucinations or genuine out-of-body projections.

Notable Quote:

"Now I'm more open because these out of body experiences... I was like, how can this be real?" [12:45]

The hosts and Jake discuss the limitations of brain scans in capturing the full scope of consciousness, suggesting that consciousness might exist independently of the physical brain.

Community and Support

Jake expresses gratitude towards the community that supports him, including maintenance staff from his residence who listen to Blink and offer unwavering support.

Notable Quote:

"Shout out to that building because the maintenance and people who work there listen to Blink." [48:26]

This strong network of support plays a crucial role in Jake's ongoing recovery and emotional well-being.

Conclusion

In closing, Jake reflects on his journey with humility and hope, acknowledging the negatives of his past while highlighting his resilience and the positive changes he has embraced. The episode serves as a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the mysterious forces that may lie beyond our understanding.

Notable Quote:

"Your story is truly incredible... I think you offer a lot of hope, which is really, really necessary and needed in the world." [50:08]

Corinne and Sabrina thank Jake for sharing his extraordinary story, leaving listeners with a sense of awe and contemplation about the thin veil between life, death, and the unknown.

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Key Takeaways:

• Resilience: Jake's survival against all odds showcases immense personal resilience and mental fortitude.
• Consciousness Exploration: The episode raises profound questions about the nature of consciousness and its potential separation from the physical brain.
• Support Systems: The importance of community and support networks in overcoming personal crises is highlighted.
• Paranormal Experiences: Jake's experiences blur the lines between science and the supernatural, inviting listeners to ponder deeper existential mysteries.

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This episode of Two Girls One Ghost is a must-listen for those intrigued by survival stories, the paranormal, and the enigmatic realms of human consciousness. Jake Haendel's narrative is both haunting and inspiring, offering a unique perspective on life, death, and what might lie beyond.

Transcript

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[Corinne]

Hello. What is up? This is two girls, one ghost. And today for our Haunted with episode, Sabrina and I bring you a very special guest, someone who I have been working with for a few years as friends and also co creators of the podcast Blank. Jake Handel Story. We have Jake joining us. Jake's story is wild and if you haven't listened to blank yet, there's seven episodes out of the 14 episode series. He is someone who has survived literally the impossible. He was given six months to live, diagnosed with this incurable brain disease that no one has ever survived before. He's truly the only survivor in the entire world. And he was experiencing locked in syndrome, which is basically you're in this pseudo coma and nobody knows that you're actually consciously in there. But what's more is there's some supernatural, weird, spooky things that happened. So Jake is joining us for this episode to tell us a little bit about his story, but then also to share with us what it was like to maybe die and his experience with astral projection and his sort of internal self help therapy retreat where he splits his consciousness into two. So I really hope you enjoyed this episode. Sabrina and I are very excited to present it. Without further ado, Jake Handel of Blink.

[Jake]

Very spooky.

[Corinne]

So you took a tumble.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Corinne]

You took a spell?

[Jake]

A little bit.

[Corinne]

You were traversing my sidewalk. I said, there's no ice.

[Jake]

Well, I can't.

[Corinne]

Two more steps. And there was ice.

[Sabrina]

And there was ice. And it's on video.

[Jake]

It was really icy. And you were like, it's so much better now. No ice. And it's all slush. And then there was a ice cube, big one. And so grateful for your security system. Because now we can relive that moment forever. Check out miracle man on TikTok.

[Corinne]

Well, you did say that this was good because you had a fear of falling, and now it's. Now it's happened.

[Jake]

I'm happy.

[Corinne]

It may be the worst of conditions, falling onto icy stone, Right?

[Jake]

Yeah. And yet I'm still terrified to fall. But when I go to PT from here, they're going to be like, that's so great. And I'm really like, you want to see?

[Sabrina]

We helped you out. Look at that sidewalk.

[Corinne]

Helped you every single time. I've always gone out and, like, held your arm or, like, just been so paranoid. And this time I was like, oh, there's no ice. And I said, let me know where you want me or if you need my help. And I turned my back, we took two steps, and boom.

[Jake]

Yeah. And also the launch party for every second you're like, oh, he's walking on stage.

[Corinne]

Right. I'm like, jake is fine. He's walking on his own.

[Jake]

It's a. A fucking process, this.

[Sabrina]

Well, we're glad that you're here and congrats to both of you.

[Corinne]

Thanks.

[Sabrina]

With all the success of Blank, and also your story is incredible and also a little bit spooky. I mean, in.

[Jake]

In multiple ways, it is a whole.

[Sabrina]

Yeah. It's everything.

[Corinne]

For people who maybe don't know and haven't been listening to our podcast, in order, Jake and I have a podcast called Blink Jay Candle Story, which is I narrate and host, but it is really just about Jake and his life and miraculous recovery from an thought to be incurable brain disease and some of the interpersonal, kind of crazy storylines that weave that. Do you want to just give kind of like a quick overview of, like, what happened to you?

[Jake]

Yeah, yeah. That's a lot. One thing I'll add to that is, you know, I've been in the media for quite some time and they've only had 20% of the story. Like, it's all real and factual and true. But Blink, what we're doing, as you know, I don't need to tell you, is all the tea, the real details, the complex family dynamic.

[Corinne]

Another thing about Blink and about your story and you saying it's all factual. I think one of the very unique things with your story is that everything has been documented because of what happened to you and because of the medical situation that you were in, there is quite literally a huge paper trail.

[Sabrina]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jake]

I was going to say in a future episode, we got to let people Know how many pieces of paper there are, because court records, medical records, legal.

[Corinne]

Records, how many things you've had to sign your name to, like, allow me to access to.

[Jake]

And then let's not forget that I wrote half of my experience by eye blink. Which might be getting ahead of ourselves here because they're like, why would he write by eye blink?

[Corinne]

This guy walked in here with only one tumble. This guy fell in here.

[Jake]

This guy is like wet and sitting.

[Corinne]

On a beach towel in February.

[Jake]

Yeah. So, you know, I lived kind of a double life. I was a head executive chef. I was also a drug dealer. I sold kind of anything. And the reason for that was my mom was terminally ill. My dad moved away and, you know, kind of knew that she was going to die. And I'm like, in high school and I'm like, how the hell am I going to take care of myself? You know? So the logical step in my mind was sell drugs. So I did not listen to Biggie's advice, never get high on your own supply. And I turned into a real addict, primarily using opiates, which led to heroin. I never injected, I smoked it all the time. But I was also a head executive chef, so, you know, I'd be free basing heroin in the bathroom and then I'd whip up some fancy whatever and I'd walk it out in my chef whites to the VIPs and glad hand them high as hell. But the only people that knew were in the know, you know, so newly married, trying to get clean. And I feel weird one day and my voice is higher pitched. So a lot of people are saying like, are you drunk? And I'm like, no, it's 7:00am I'm going to work. You should go to the hospital. You should get checked out. I'm like, no, I'm fine. And then it was balance and ambulance was called. I could hop on the gurney. I was pretty functioning to get into the er. They thought I was having a stroke. I knew I wasn't having a stroke because it had been going on for two weeks. And they were like, is there any drug use? And I'm like, yeah, lots. And very honest about that. So it wasn't until they heard my voicemail and my voicemail and my voice were completely different. They're like, oh. So they admit me. Emergency mri. And in the morning I wake up, I'm diagnosed with an extremely rare terminal brain disease called acute toxic progressive leukoencephalopathy. Basically meaning I had six months to live. And the white matter in My brain is just being eaten away at a rapid pace. So I was gonna lose all function until I slipped into a coma, died.

[Sabrina]

What was it like receiving that news?

[Jake]

It was heavy. I mean, I remember I said out loud, I'm fucked. I'm fucked. And then I was like, how did this happen? And they were like inhalation of a toxin. I'm like, what toxin? And they're like, well, thanks for being honest about your drug use. Likely heroin. I'm like, yeah, but like, why am I the only one sick? Because I was rolling with a crew of 40 people and I sold it.

[Sabrina]

Right.

[Jake]

That sucks that I did that, because that's like the worst shit ever and so addicting. I mean, honestly, it was like full life review, really intense, rapid thoughts. I get this news and I'm seeing my mom seeing me running on a beach when I'm sick, seeing, like happy times, teenage life. I'm seeing, like, bad times. And then I'm questioning how I went so wrong and ended up in this situation. And I'm thinking about my mom, who I watched dying. And the thoughts are like, so fast, but it's also a lot of visual thoughts. And then that's like life review, but kind of simultaneously was thinking about everything I wasn't wanted to do and wouldn't be able to do.

[Sabrina]

Right.

[Jake]

And a lot of thoughts about my wife because I was madly in love with her.

[Corinne]

Right.

[Sabrina]

And what year was this?

[Jake]

2017 Memorial Day weekend.

[Sabrina]

Wow. And now it's 2025. So clearly you survived.

[Corinne]

You survived the six months to live that they gave you was.

[Jake]

They were incorrect, thank God. But I am the only case of survival in the world.

[Sabrina]

Wow.

[Jake]

So they were incorrect in my case, but they should have been correct. And I have zero explanation why I'm here talking to you and why we're. Megan Blink.

[Corinne]

Yeah. Maybe there's a question as to how or why you're the only person to survive this. But now knowing you and knowing what you went through and sort of like the mental battle that you fought, I think is super interesting and might have contributed to your survival. So I think a couple of the things that I would love for you to share with us today would be, well, there's three. So one, what it was like to die. What happened then when you split yourself kind of into two and you had that self help therapy retreat. And then the third thing, kind of like the discovery that some of the visions that you were seeing when you were in a coma and not able to see how you kind of made the Connections that maybe you were having some real life experiences and not just living in hallucination.

[Sabrina]

Yeah. Because we've been talking a lot about consciousness and where does consciousness and the soul live? And I think your experience with when you were in a coma, like, and I don't know all the details, but from what Corinne has told me you're about to hear, it feels like it explores that question. Did you believe in the paranormal prior to your diagnosis? And how do you feel about the paranormal now?

[Jake]

Well, I'll start with I don't know what the hell I believe in anymore from what I went through. And nothing surprises me anymore right now. When you say paranormal, my head goes to like, does, like, weird crazy shit happen? I believed in that. Did I believe in a ghost per se? Like, as in the ghost that we all see on Halloween coming in and fucking with you? Like, no, I don't think I believed in that, but I did believe in like weird possessed type.

[Sabrina]

Like, okay, so the darker stuff in a way.

[Jake]

But I also definitely am a skeptic.

[Sabrina]

Sure.

[Corinne]

So you were a little more like heaven and hell.

[Jake]

I don't think I believe in heaven and hell either.

[Corinne]

Well, I don't know if I do either.

[Sabrina]

Yeah, I don't know what the truth is. I think there's energy and it goes somewhere.

[Jake]

I'm like, answering from, yeah, before. Before. And I'm still kind of a skeptic. I don't believe in.

[Sabrina]

So you're a skeptic, but you're open and you don't know what to believe.

[Jake]

Nowadays I think I'm more open because these out of body experiences, you know, because I'm such a skeptic. I was like, how can this be real? I don't believe in this, but it's happening to me and I'm logical. I think. I first talked about it on a blog and I literally wrote in that. Like, I'm scared to, like, say this out loud because I don't want people to think I'm like, insane.

[Corinne]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Right now. I'll answer. One, two, threes.

[Sabrina]

Okay.

[Jake]

And the first one was like, what was it like? To die?

[Corinne]

Yes.

[Jake]

Okay. So I was listening to these doctors basically say he's not going to make it till Christmas. I would overhear that. Survive. Well, he won't make it till New Year's. I survive. He's got hours left. I kept hearing this and I kept living. And then I'm like, damn, I might, like have full life expectancy but be stuck like this forever. Which was way scarier than Death in that state.

[Sabrina]

Stuck, like, just for everyone. Like, where you have no mobility and.

[Jake]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sabrina]

You're trapped inside your body.

[Jake]

I had, like, the most severe case of Locked In Syndrome. And I know there are news stories out there where it's like, this person is Locked In Syndrome, but he's, like, talking by eye blink. Like, I've been there. That's. I'm not taking anything away from, like, that experience not being horrible, but, like, what I had going on for 10 months is, like, true. Locked in where nobody knew I was in there. I was perceived, for lack of a better word. And I know now it's slang. Brain dead, disconnected from all reality.

[Corinne]

Yeah. Because the actual brain scans showed such minimal activity going on in your brain that they presumed that you weren't in a conscious state inside of your body.

[Jake]

Correct. So I can't blink. I can't signal. The only thing I have is involuntary vertical eye movements. But I'm like, me. I'm the same guy you're hearing right now. Same personality. Nothing has changed.

[Sabrina]

And, yeah, you're stuck with yourself. And in blank, you talk about how you were doing math problems and trying to tell yourself all of these things to stay sharp.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Corinne]

And you were also stuck with the pain so much.

[Jake]

Oh, so that's what's going on.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

When I'm hearing, like, he's not going to make it till. And like, you know, it's not like I can use my eyes to track the room. I'm, like, looking at the ceiling. So that thought of they keep saying I'm dying or gonna die, and I keep living, but I might be like this forever was really terrifying.

[Sabrina]

Of course I was like, shit, I.

[Jake]

Can'T take 10 more minutes of this. Let it alone. What could be 50 years? Which my 10 months felt like 50 years. So 50 years would have been like, I don't know. So I get put on hospice, and I hear the hospice nurse come in. He's like, we should, like, call in some family. He's got hours left. And I guess we're talking a lot about that on blink. But there was no real family around at that point. But basically, I get propped up on a pillow for the first time, I would say in a while. It was the first time I saw my own chest. And because I was going through autonomic storming, which makes you really hot, and a variety of other things, I basically. I had no clothes on, so I could see my chest, and it was totally blue, and I was like, oh. Like, for all I know, it Was always blue. But I saw that, and I'm like, oh, shit, maybe I'm actually dying this time. So I believed I was dying. There was cross talk because a hospice nurse decided to call in some people who are not allowed to be there. There was a lot of arguing in the room and I believe police as.

[Corinne]

Well, which comes out on episode five of Blink Teaser.

[Jake]

Teaser.

[Sabrina]

No, it will be out.

[Corinne]

It's already out. So if people want to hear the nitty gritty details.

[Jake]

Okay. And I'm, like, thinking in my head, I'm like, can you guys just shut up? Like, I'm dying here. Stop arguing. And kind of as I'm having this thought, it was like a hum, like a fluorescent light makes. And at the same time, the yelling started to lower. And it was almost like I could kind of see the mouths moving on people. So I knew they were talking. And it was getting lower and lower. And I don't know how I could see that because I have a positional eye gaze, so that makes no sense to me logically. And hum gets louder. Voices are almost drawn out completely. And for the first time in, like, since diagnosis, I'm, like, kind of pain free. It's just floating away. It was, like, blue. It was that. It was the pain free. I was like, I think this is death. And it was kind of calming. I mean, it was, like, the first time in a while I felt, like, relief. And then I had this thought about my mom on hospice. And I was like, I know. She was in so much pain. And I'm like, that's a really nice thought that. I mean, sucks to die, I guess, but, like, Elise is not, like, painful. Yeah, yeah. Went from really horrible to, like, peaceful. And then, um. Damn it. I have the term. There's a certain shot in cartoons. You know, when it's the end of an old school cartoon and it goes to black? It's almost like you get, like, the.

[Corinne]

Looney Tunes when it starts to close.

[Jake]

It was exactly that. And so it was like pain gone silent hum and like the fade to black, but in a circle. And I just had this feeling, like, when it is black, that's when I die. And the stop. The blackness came, and I was like. I just sighed. And then I fell asleep. And then I woke up in a lot of pain. And I said, fuck it.

[Sabrina]

I fell asleep in the sense that, like, everything quiet, like, you had no thoughts when you fell asleep.

[Jake]

Yeah, it was like I fell asleep. Do I know how long I fell asleep for? No idea. I may have woken up in an hour saying fuck to myself because everything hurt.

[Corinne]

But it was nothingness.

[Jake]

It was nothingness.

[Sabrina]

Wow. So like consciousness ceased to exist in that moment. Wow.

[Jake]

And let me tell you, it was for what I was going through for the last six months or may have been eight at that point. I needed a break of nothingness for sure. And it was, I think the only real pain free relief to date. I mean, I'm still in chronic pain.

[Corinne]

Wow.

[Jake]

Except when I fell on that ice.

[Corinne]

I was just going to say we just made a hell of a lower.

[Jake]

No, actually I was just, just like so jolted by the.

[Corinne]

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[Sabrina]

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[Corinne]

Yes.

[Sabrina]

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[Corinne]

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[Sabrina]

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[Corinne]

I ordered from the Breeze collection.

[Sabrina]

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[Corinne]

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[Jake]

I'm somebody who's always kind of talked to themselves in their head. Do you guys do that all the time?

[Corinne]

You know, I almost have like two trains of thought. I get distracted sometimes because I'm thinking, like, I have two voices that I do have.

[Sabrina]

Like an emotional one and then like a more like, get shit done one.

[Corinne]

Yeah, Yeah, I think so. Like, I have like a fluffy, like, up. Up here, up here. And then I have that.

[Jake]

I can't move my tongue fast enough to do that anymore. I'm like.

[Sabrina]

But yeah, it's wild. There are some people who don't hear their own thoughts.

[Jake]

Now. Are they the crazy ones or are we.

[Sabrina]

I think we're all a little bit crazy.

[Jake]

Oh, that's for sure.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

So I always had that, I guess. And I had this thought. I'm like, okay, my whole body has failed me. The only thing that's working. There were three things that were working. My brain, my ears, my dick. Sorry. I wasn't gonna lie and say there were two, but you can cut that.

[Corinne]

But this just kind of adds to Your story, Jake, which I've said so many times over, that you are such a stickler for the truth and for fact.

[Jake]

Yeah. And also, I was so misunderstood when I was using letterboards and garbled baby talk, relearning how to speak, that I just want to make sure everything is super clear. I never want to be misunderstood ever again, which is why I'm this way. But anyway, 30 functions and I'm like the brain's muscle. I should, like, keep that as active as possible so I don't. In, like, in retrospect, I'm like, probably would have been better if my brain thought I was on a beach somewhere. But anyway, I didn't have that thought in the moment. So that's where the math problems and the critical thinking of, like, all kinds of crazy thoughts, but then to what you're talking about. There was just so much time, I guess, of like, there's only so many math problems I could do. It's not like I'm somebody who's like Albert Einstein. That was like, okay, I just figured out, like, how to build another nuclear problem or something.

[Corinne]

Yeah.

[Jake]

You know, right.

[Sabrina]

I mean, like, I've spent, like three days at home by myself and haven't gone outside. And by like day three, I'm, like, aching to get outside and see people. So I can't even drive to Target.

[Corinne]

Just so I can talk to a cashier or something. Right?

[Sabrina]

Exactly.

[Jake]

When I hear people talking about the lockdown and Covid, I'm like, all right.

[Sabrina]

You'Re fine, you're good.

[Jake]

Like, I know it sucks, but get that Uber eats and watch a movie. You're good. Yeah.

[Sabrina]

Yeah. You know, to a whole other extreme.

[Jake]

Yeah. So there was a point on hospice. This was shortly after the near death experience. And it felt like a two month period. And I don't know if it was month, if it was three months, it's really hard to say. But I started utilizing my time better, I would say. I mean, it was not like I had many options, but I started talking to myself in two voices. So the way I explained this, like, there was my heart, my chest, and that was like, definitely not the Jake voice you're hearing now because it's new, but the old Jake voice. And then my brain would answer my chest in a deeper, wiser voice. That was still my voice, but it was a different, deeper, wiser voice. That makes sense. It kind of started with, like, how'd you go so wrong? And, like, why were you so depressed? And, like, why did you hate everything I Think I said, like, well, obviously I know it's my mom. And the deeper, wiser voice would like, answer me. And it was kind of like you were always on the go. You were just running, you were trying to figure it out. And you never like, grieved properly. And I was arguing with this voice. I'm like, what are you fucking talking about? Grieving. I cried my ass off and I. And they're like, no, you didn't grieve properly. And anyway, it was like that. And this went on for what felt like days.

[Sabrina]

You were like therapizing yourself.

[Jake]

Yeah. I call it the best self help therapeutic treat retreat anyone could take. Because you, you can't leave.

[Sabrina]

Right.

[Jake]

You know, some people, like go to a therapeutic retreat and spend ten grand, but they can like go do yoga and go eat a bunch of food.

[Corinne]

Yeah.

[Jake]

The only thing I got is my wife injecting me with four syringes for my 24 hours of nutrients all at once, which made me stop the session because I felt like I was gonna explode.

[Sabrina]

Of course.

[Corinne]

It is just so interesting because it's like you're having an argument with yourself and you're almost like not believing what the other voice is saying, but it's all you. In the end, it's just like, what's.

[Sabrina]

Drawing from the duality of us as people. Like, I think there is this battle between heart and brain always where it's like, do you follow your heart? Do you follow your brain? How do you know which one's the right option and choice? But, like, you were forced to sit and like, work through all of that with yourself.

[Jake]

Do you guys think it was like a coping strategy or. It was what I wanted to do.

[Corinne]

It's hard to say because, like, I understand it being kind of this trauma response, but at the same time, sitting on the seat that I'm sitting on, which is the paranormal hot seat for the past seven and a half years, it does make me wonder about consciousness and about that higher voice that you were talking about, the wiser voice saying, you didn't do this, you didn't grieve the way that you should have. And then you felt like, wait, what do you mean? I didn't grieve the way I should have? That almost feels to me like you were tapping into what happens after death. Like the piece of your soul that understands lessons on earth or like how you're supposed to be on earth better than we can understand from, like this physical body.

[Sabrina]

I definitely see a part of that. I also think, and I'VE done a lot of like therapy. I, I did do one of those like trauma retreats where I spent a ton of money to do it. But like, I did a lot of different types of therapy and one of them was emdr where you can revisit many moments, but I was revisiting specific moments of trauma and kind of went into this mental space where my present self was like working with the emotional wound, which was still me. And I was like, here's a new perspective that I've had now that I've lived however many years. And it was a little bit of like a conversation between two parts of myself.

[Corinne]

It is interesting too because like in the paranormal world, another conversation that kind of happens is when something traumatic happens to someone, does a piece of their soul kind of chip off and exist somewhere that needs to be almost like collected and brought back to be healed. And perhaps maybe that's in a way what you were doing. Like the brain part of you was going and collecting all of those broken pieces to bring yourself back and create this whole person who has the strength to survive again.

[Jake]

Okay, I have a question again, a follow up for both of you coming from the paranormal seats you guys sit in. Not that anyone really understands a lot about the brain. I mean, even the experts will admit we know little. Wouldn't it make sense, at least in my case that there's so much shit happening in the brain that it could be like explained? Well, it's still be unexplained.

[Corinne]

Well, but here's the interesting thing. There's so much happening in your brain and your brain should have been lighting up in so many different areas based on what you're talking about with the pain, with the emotional responses that you're having to doing this self help therapy retreat. And yet all of the scans showed minimal activity. So that makes me question if the reason why we don't understand the brain is because we're looking for answers pertaining to consciousness by studying the physical brain, when really consciousness is entirely separate from the brain itself.

[Sabrina]

Consciousness exists like in the universe, right? Yeah.

[Jake]

Brian Edlow, who need you to come on this.

[Corinne]

Dr. Edlow.

[Sabrina]

Well, but it's true because it's like I even think about when they do brain scans of people and they're like, okay, this part of the brain is lighting up when you're doing math and this part of the brain is like creative. If you were doing all of these things in your, in your mind, a scan should have picked up on something, right?

[Jake]

Yeah. They admit that.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

They also Admit that, you know, 50 years ago, I was like, yeah, scans can really tell you it all. They now know that it's limiting, but still, it's the tool we have.

[Corinne]

Right.

[Jake]

Anyway, super interesting. I don't know. Again, nothing surprises me. I just don't know what I believe in. And, yeah, this went on for two months and it was argumentative, but argumentative with myself.

[Sabrina]

Do you feel like now, present day, you still have those arguments between you or have you unified?

[Jake]

I've definitely unified. That was strictly this, like, two month period. I think, on hospice, that I was unified. I don't want to say I came out of it, like, totally out of peace because I was in, like, horrible pain and stuck in lockdown syndrome and scared I'd be there forever. But after this, what felt like two months of, like, your therapeutic treat. I'm sure you were able to, like, go to dinner and, like, I. I, like, stuck with this for. I had 12 hour sessions.

[Corinne]

Right. Like, at least, you know, which is exhausting. It's like, I remember how exhausted you would be after.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

But I did come out of that, what felt like two months feeling maybe accomplished, Like, I accomplished something and I understand and I'm at peace with my fucked up previous life.

[Sabrina]

Like a new perspective.

[Jake]

Yeah. But still very much like, oh, fuck, I'm still stuck. Like, it would have been great if I could just have like, bounced back to old Jake with this perspective. Like, okay, I'm done. Let me out.

[Corinne]

But should you have been old Jake? You questioned yourself about, like, why was I so depressed? Why was I so angry with the world?

[Jake]

Oh, would I have been old Jake?

[Corinne]

Yeah. Like, did you want to be old Jake?

[Jake]

No. So what I meant by old Jake is I didn't have locked in syndrome. I could walk, I could talk, I could.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Then I would have been like, okay, I'm not, like, miserable.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

And, like, I don't want to paint myself like I was. I was miserable on the inside.

[Sabrina]

Sure.

[Jake]

If I was up with you guys as old Jake, you would be like, jake's a man.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

But I was miserable.

[Sabrina]

I mean, I think that goes to show, like, how what you see of a person and what they show you is not always what's really going on. And you don't. It's hard to know what's going on inside of someone and how they're feeling.

[Jake]

Everyone has shit.

[Sabrina]

Everyone has shit.

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[Sabrina]

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[Corinne]

When you eventually did start to be able to communicate and sort of come out of this pseudo coma state, you had a discovery that you told me, which was that some of the things that you could see but not see might have been real. Can you talk about that?

[Jake]

Yeah. So I alluded to a little bit on hospice where I was able to see people's mouths move. But this started in the month of December of 2017, which was the meat of the worst of the 10 months. Yeah, it was really crazy. I don't know, it would only happen when. And I didn't get a lot of visitors due to fucked up life, family dynamic circumstances. But when I did get a few, this would happen. And again, I'm like laying in this bed, I can't move and I'm looking wherever they put me to. If they raise the bed to like 4 to 5 degrees, I'm looking at you, right? If they put me back, I'm looking at the ceiling. If they roll me, I'm looking here. So I'm like looking at the ceiling and my ex mother in law comes in and she starts talking to me about some real heavy stuff. Kind of like saying her goodbyes. Because this is when they were like, he's not gonna make it till Christmas. Real heavy shit. Like, don't worry about Elle. Like, you know, she's going through it. Like, I'll be there for her. It's so sad, Jake. Like, it's okay. I don't know if you can hear me. It's just like. And all of a sudden at like the beginning, very beginning, I had A bird's eye view of myself in the room. And like I could see myself and I could see her in a chair and I could see like what she was wearing. I could see her, her. Like I don't know if they call it a brooch or a pin. I think it was like a silver brooch with so much detail. It's almost like I could zoom in like security camera.

[Sabrina]

Whoa.

[Jake]

And I did. To like see her micro facial expressions.

[Sabrina]

Wow.

[Jake]

And like, yeah, like I can picture written out like black leggings, a black sweater, silver brooch or pearl necklace. Usual earrings she had on. And it was so crazy. And again, I'm like skeptical of that because if someone was like, oh yeah, that happens to me like all the time. I'd be like, okay, tell me more. But also I'm like not believing that that's really. What are you on lsd? Like I used to be like, what's going on? I'm like, what the fuck? Is this real?

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Like is this happening or is this a hallucination? But I always kept a really good grip on reality even when I had hallucinations, which I definitely had.

[Sabrina]

Right.

[Jake]

I'm going to bounce forward and I'll bounce back to another example. So Fast forward to mid 2019. This is December 2017. I'm non verbal, but I have this complex letterboard called the Mayobe. And I can kind of talk non verbally, spit out sentences relatively fast. My mother in law's there and I'm like, I gotta ask you something. I'm like, did you come to say your goodbyes? It was a really heavy conversation. And she's like, yeah, how do you know that? And I'm like, were you wearing like black leggings, a black sweater, a silver brooch, pearl necklace? And she's like, yeah. And she got like kind of freaked out. She was like, wait. Like. But I was sitting in the corner and I'm like, I know. And I was like, oh man. Everything you were saying, I just got the goosebumps.

[Sabrina]

I don't know if you can see it.

[Jake]

I like straight up of the goosebumps. And I told this story several times, happens every time. And I was like, it was really heavy. Talk about my wife and like how you would. And she was like, I know. And she was like, Jesus, like, how do you know? And I'm like, I saw you and I, I heard. And I. She's like, I didn't even know if you could hear me. And as I'm saying, it was so heavy. I Was like crying on the inside. She was like. I was just about to say, I could have sworn I saw one tear.

[Corinne]

Oh, I know, I know. I've heard this before. But every time too. I'm like, whoa.

[Jake]

So I have the goosebumps.

[Sabrina]

I mean, it reminds me of. And this. The movie was made based on a book which was based on a true story. And I'm blanking on the name, but it was about this child who nearly died and was in an operating room. And the mom and dad were out in the waiting room having an argument. And the kid in surgery. And impossible to know what's going on, but after waking up from the surgery, recalls everything that they were fighting about, where they were, what they were wearing. And they were like, how this is the.

[Corinne]

The kid that fell like into a tree. I think so. Or like fell out of a tree, hit their head. And that's how they discovered like some. Sure, yeah, something like that.

[Sabrina]

But it's a true story. So, like, that does happen to people.

[Jake]

This is like a thing that apparently happens and doctors know about it. And there's a few other examples. Same thing happened with Eli, who's on the pod. He came in.

[Corinne]

Your stepdad.

[Jake]

My stepdad. He came in very similar, heavy, saying his goodbyes, really saying like, I know you're in so much pain. Like, it's okay. You want to give up. In my head, I was like, thanks, I appreciate that. But no, I'm not giving up. But Bird's eye view hone in on. He was just in his blue jeans and his off brand jacket that was. It's like what worker men kind of wear.

[Corinne]

Wear Carhartt style.

[Jake]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Carhartt style. But like, yeah, we talked about that. And the other thing, it wasn't just visitors. It would happen occasionally when important doctors would come in the room. And there was this doctor with this bow tie, not Dr. Levinson, always wearing the same bow tie. And my uncle Adam is a doctor and wears bow tie. So Adam, I'm not shitting on bow ties by any means, but this guy, goofy ass bow tie. And I could see his bow tie. Again, no reason for me to be able to. And I would sarcastically, not that this is nice, but make fun of his bow tie every time he'd come in the room.

[Corinne]

You have to pass the time somehow.

[Jake]

Yeah, right.

[Corinne]

It was comedy hour.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

But yeah, those are my.

[Sabrina]

That's wild.

[Jake]

Out of body.

[Sabrina]

So it always was like prompted by a conversation or someone being in your.

[Jake]

Room that I felt was important.

[Sabrina]

Right. And did it always exist only in the room? Like, you didn't see outside of the room? It was.

[Jake]

Well, that goes into hallucinations, not out of body experiences. I will say I think I developed supersonic hearing in this state because I could hear shit going on at the nursing station. And if I'm like laying there and I really want to hone in, I could kind of hone in.

[Sabrina]

Wow.

[Corinne]

Which is interesting because then I'm like, is it hearing? Which makes sense because when people lose certain senses, other ones are heightened. But then, given that you've basically actual projected, it does make me wonder if there was a part of your consciousness or your soul or something that did have kind of the ability to move more freely than you realized. And perhaps you were kind of splitting a piece of you to go listen wherever you want it wild.

[Jake]

And then from a neurology standpoint, not that I'm well versed in this, so.

[Corinne]

Better than us.

[Sabrina]

Yeah, way better than us.

[Jake]

Yeah. When you have that brain damage, there are certain parts of the brain that, like, pick up slack and, like, I don't know if that was happening at this time, but, like, who knows? Like, the weird shit that can happen within the brain that could potentially do that to your ears.

[Corinne]

Yeah.

[Jake]

You know what I mean?

[Corinne]

Like, nobody knows because we do. It hasn't come out yet, but on the podcast we do talk to one of your doctors, Dr. Brian Edlow, who speaks to kind of like consciousness, covert consciousness. I think I had asked him the question where it was like, is it true that we only use 10% of our brain? And then there's another part. And he was like, no, not. Not really. Like, we think that we know a lot of what the brain does and the functioning. So it is kind of interesting that, like, the answer's kind of like, no. Ish. But obviously.

[Sabrina]

But it's like, I feel like we know how the brain connects to the body. We don't know how the brain connects to consciousness. Consciousness. And we don't understand consciousness. And I think that this is a. Makes us question it even more. And then it's like, I don't know the hallucinations that you. But I do wonder how much is it really a hallucination and how much is it like part of this out of body astral projection?

[Jake]

I don't know. All I know is I. Nothing would surprise me.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Jake]

And more.

[Corinne]

You survived the impossible.

[Jake]

Survive.

[Sabrina]

Your story is truly incredible. Like, so incredible. Thank you for sharing it with us and thank you for sharing it with the world. And Corinne thank you for helping Jake share his story.

[Corinne]

Yeah, I feel like such a small piece of the story. I think I just floated in on the elevator and then ended up shoving a mic in front of your face.

[Jake]

So, I mean, it was a little more than that, but that's how it began.

[Corinne]

Yeah, that's how it began.

[Sabrina]

But the way you met too, I feel like, was kismet, like in the elevator.

[Corinne]

This is happening, though, in Jake's life. I think you are a very powerful manifestor.

[Jake]

Yeah, yeah, Talk about that. Like, I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

[Corinne]

It is really interesting though. Cause it's like. Well, you're also a very charismatic guy. And I feel like people are very. You're very approachable and people are very attracted to, like, helping you and being your friend. But like, beyond that, just the fact that you get intro'd to people, people just kind of like float in your life who can help you with something that you're seeking.

[Jake]

Did I ever tell you the story of how I ended up living in the same place you lived?

[Corinne]

Yes, but refresh my memory.

[Jake]

Yeah, this is crazy. So I'm on the partner shuttle bus. I got appointments, like all over creation kinda. And I'm on this bus and it breaks down. They said it was like 30 minutes or something for a new one. And I kind of look up and I just see like a sign. It's like, move in today, three months free. And I tell this guy my pcm, like, broken language. I kind of sounded like, run me in there. Something like that. And he rolls me in and they're like, hey, hey, what's going on? And I'm like, three months free. I'm like, that sounds really good. And they're like, what are you looking for? And I'm like, anything accessible, if you can't tell. And he's like, okay, what do you mean by accessible? I'm like, well, I don't care about views. A shower that's like, roll in. I need some grab bars. And he's like, so yeah, we got this one that is. But it's got a horrible view.

[Corinne]

Not the priority view.

[Jake]

Doesn't matter. I haven't showered in two months. And he goes, well, you smell great. Let's go down to that unit. And that's how I ended up.

[Sabrina]

That is so funny.

[Jake]

From a boss unit.

[Sabrina]

That's wild.

[Corinne]

Wow. Also, shout out to that building because the maintenance and people who work there listen to blank. Aww.

[Jake]

Shout out to that building big time. Because they've gone. I think most especially maintenance, every time I scooter, like, kind of blew up or broke down. They don't need to fix that. That's not their job. They're all in there, like, oh, so nice. And they're like, yeah, I got to go to the hardware store, get a piece. Like, how much does that cost? Don't worry about it.

[Corinne]

Oh, so nice. And even recording, like, we recorded from all the common spaces at this place, and you're not allowed to do that. And they would just watch us on the monitors, and then when we'd wrap up, they'd come and chat and be like, what'd you guys talk about this time?

[Jake]

They would also watch. Not on the monitors. They were, like, hiding in the elevator.

[Corinne]

That's true.

[Jake]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know the maintenance guy, Wagner? I'm getting coffee at, like 6am and he's like, I love Blink. I love Blink. He's like, I didn't know all these things.

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[Jake]

I got him a Blink sweatshirt coming. He's so nice. I'm like, dude, for everything you've done over the years for me.

[Sabrina]

So kind sweatshirt, like, yeah, yeah. Well, this is a good way to tell everyone else. You should listen to Blink.

[Corinne]

Listen to Blink. Listen to Blink all of Jake's story.

[Jake]

Yeah, yeah. I've been saying this a lot. You know, we'll see how you feel about this guy you let in your house after you've heard it. Because I'm really putting it all out there.

[Corinne]

I think people feel quite positively. Yes.

[Jake]

I think a lot of people know someone who have gone through something like addiction and kept it hidden.

[Sabrina]

So even just the story of your upbringing and your family and how it was hard to deal with it and process it and everyone deals with it differently. But I think you're so relatable in that way, and you're such a positive person despite everything you've been through. And I think you offer a lot of hope, which is really, really necessary and needed in the world. So thank you.

[Jake]

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you, guys.

[Corinne]

Yeah, of course.

[Sabrina]

Thank you.

[Corinne]

We will see you on the other side.

[Jake]

Very spooky. Hello.

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