142: Unique Experiences..

Summary

Two Hot Takes: Episode 142 – Unique Experiences Summary

Release Date: November 13, 2025
Host: Morgan Absher
Guest Co-Host: Tess
Theme: Unusual and one-of-a-kind stories sourced from Reddit, listener write-ins, and the internet, selected for their “unique experiences.” The episode aims to share situations that are so odd or distinctive that listeners won’t have heard them before—or so the hosts hope.

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Main Theme Overview

Morgan and Tess dive into a collection of wild and unusual stories, each with a unique twist that leaves them simultaneously entertained and befuddled. The hope of the day is to find truly singular experiences—those you rarely, if ever, encounter in real life or even on Reddit. The hosts offer their hot takes, provide advice, and highlight the often bizarre and sometimes disturbing realities people face.

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Key Discussions & Insights

1. Haunted Monkeys & Episode Set-Up (01:03 – 04:18)

• Morgan and Tess joke about technology mishaps possibly caused by a “haunted monkey” once brought by friend/co-host Kaylin.
• They discuss prepping for the episode and Morgan teases future “crazy holiday” episodes.

Quote:
Morgan: “Ever since Kaylin’s little haunted monkey came here, I’ve had some technology glitches...it’s that damn monkey, Gordy.” (01:11)

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2. Theme Introduction: Unique Experiences (03:29 – 04:18)

• The central theme is explained: Stories that are so unique, you can’t imagine many people sharing a similar situation.
• Listeners are encouraged to share their own “unique experiences” in the comments.

Quote:
Morgan: “Experiences that are unusual and out of the realm and kind of like, wow. Thought I’d heard it all, but that’s still a little... unique.” (03:41)

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3. Story 1: The Anatomy Textbook Topless Photo Scam

(Source: Ask a Manager)
(06:21 – 16:50)

Summary:

A woman is asked by a coworker to pose topless “for an anatomy textbook,” but it’s quickly revealed to be a scam for the coworker to see her breasts. The proposed photo shoot was suspicious—no official documentation, at her own home, no university involvement. After confirming with the university, she informs her manager and HR; the predator coworker is fired.

Timestamps & Quotes:

• Red Flags Laid Out:
  Tess: “This is such an elaborate plan to just get pictures of a woman’s boobs... Sir, it’s for an anatomy textbook?” (07:24)

• Correct Response? Allison’s Take:
  Morgan reads Ask a Manager’s Allison’s reply, which strongly validates reporting to HR/boss without delay.

• Update – Immediate Termination:
  Morgan: “The coworker in question was immediately terminated. I wrote a report for HR, so he is considered non-rehirable for any future campaigns.” (11:25)

• Reflection on Workplace Dynamics:
  Tess: “I think when one is used to inappropriate work environments, these sort of interactions don’t expressly present themselves as immediately inappropriate, if that makes sense.” (12:20)

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4. Story 2: Boyfriend Lies About His Job for 8 Months

(Source: Ask Aubry / Instagram)
(17:56 – 27:43)

Summary:

A woman discovers her boyfriend has been lying for eight months about working in pharmaceutical sales—he’s actually a Whole Foods manager. The truth comes out when he can’t answer basic questions at dinner with her pharmacist dad. Instead of being apologetic, he laughs it off, leaving her feeling gaslit and betrayed.

Timestamps & Quotes:

• The Reveal:
  Morgan: “Ryan laughs and goes, yeah, your dad almost caught me. I was like, what? And he says, I don’t actually work in pharma sales, babe. I manage the Whole Foods on Lamar...” (19:20)

• Reaction:
  Tess: “For someone to be able to have such an elaborate lie to you for eight months... the way that he confessed to it is crazy.” (21:10)
  Morgan: “If he’s so comfortable lying again and again and again to you, he’s gonna keep lying.” (23:15)

• Red Flags & Advice:
  Tess: “This gives me the impression that, like, when he does something wrong, he will always minimize it. He will always laugh it off. He’ll always act like you’re overreacting...” (24:37)

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5. Story 3: Boyfriend & Friends Prank Grieving Cat Owners

(Source: r/relationship_advice)
(29:36 – 39:41)

Summary:

An 18-year-old’s boyfriend and his friends prank an older couple by calling and falsely claiming to have seen their missing cat, sending the couple on a wild goose chase. OP is horrified and breaks up with the boyfriend. When wondering what else she can do, she ultimately calls the couple—only to find out their cat was safely returned days before.

Timestamps & Quotes:

• On the Cruelty:
  Morgan: “That is just cruel and devastating and to, like, toy with them like that... it’s psychological abuse, like, it really is.” (32:33)

• Update – Happy Ending:
  Morgan: “I was so nervous calling them... She basically stopped me and said that it was a miracle, but their cat had been turned in to Animal Control two days prior... I was so relieved.” (37:16)

• Empathy Reflection:
  Tess: “We do all have to learn empathy. Like, it is a learned thing over time...” (39:10)

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6. Story 4: Boyfriend’s Mom Gives a Purity Test at Family Dinner

(Source: Ask Aubry / Instagram)
(42:58 – 55:49)

Summary:

A woman recounts visiting her boyfriend’s family, where the mother gives her a “purity test” app at the dinner table. When she refuses, she is accused of “having things to hide.” The boyfriend sides with his mom, expecting the girlfriend to “play along.”

Timestamps & Quotes:

• Unbelievable Awkwardness:
  Tess: “To have like a mother-in-law or like mother of someone try to find out if their future daughter-in-law would be pure... unfortunately, that is happening.” (45:42)

• Morgan’s Research:
  Morgan: “There is an app in the app store... the Rice Purity Test Plus.” (46:24)
  “Holding hands… and bestiality are worth the same amount of points!” (50:50)

• Host Reaction:
  Morgan: “If you’re getting this goofy the first time you met her... Imagine what kind of mother-in-law you will have to deal with the rest of your life if you choose to proceed down this path.” (54:17)
  Tess: “No, no, no. That is so entitled and inappropriate and wrong.” (56:22)

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7. Story 5: Ex Posts “Anniversary” Picture Months After Breakup

(Source: r/TwoHotTakes)
(56:49 – 62:59)

Summary:

A woman’s ex posts a “Happy Anniversary” photo to Instagram, months after they broke up. Mutual friends are confused, and the hosts are unsure whether this is a deliberate act of manipulation, mental health crisis, or pure delusion.

Timestamps & Quotes:

• The Post:
  Morgan: “So now I’m sitting here getting texts from mutual friends asking if we got back together, and I’m like, what alternate reality is this man living in?” (57:00)

• Host Speculation:
  Tess: “At first I was like, oh, this is so funny. This is so crazy. And now I’m like, is this scary?... obviously someone having delusions that involve you is a scary situation.” (58:17)

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8. Story 6: Boyfriend’s Horrifying Soap Habits

(Source: Charlotte Dobre’s Page)
(65:43 – 76:53)

Summary:

After her boyfriend has diarrhea and showers, a woman notices “poop chunks” on their shared bar of soap. She learns he washes by rubbing the bar directly on his body—including his anus—then puts it back, expecting her to use it too. Boyfriend and his family gaslight her for “overreacting.”

Timestamps & Quotes:

• Details:
  Morgan: “I pick up our shared bar of soap and saw boo boo chunks on it. His boo boo chunks on it.” (67:02)

• Family’s Response:
  Morgan: “His mom texted me something like, men have been using bars of soap for generations.” (69:27)

• Hot Take:
  Tess: “This made me physically ill, Morgan. Like, this is a health hazard.” (70:01)

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9. Story 7: Employees at a Car Dealership Have Sex in Customer’s Truck

(Source: r/AmItheAsshole)
(78:53 – 96:13)

Summary:

A man picks up his truck from service to find unmistakable evidence—stains, odors, hair accessories, and even scratches—suggesting dealership staff had vigorous sex in his vehicle. The dealership tries to gaslight and dodge responsibility, until the OP pushes for repairs and considers legal action.

Timestamps & Quotes:

• Evidence:
  Morgan: “He wanted to focus on himself, which was code for flirting with girls on Discord. Anyways, fast forward to now, November, about seven months, and... he literally captioned it like we’re still together.” (58:00)

• Repairs & Updates:
  Morgan: “I kindly replied that there is absolutely no way I’ll be back at their dealership. So he told me they contract with a third party company that comes to the customer’s homes to do the repairs. I agreed to that...” (88:19)

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10. Story 8: Bride Disinvites Half Her Wedding Guests per Psychic’s Orders

(Source: r/WeddingShaming)
(98:44 – 112:34)

Summary:

A bride cuts 125 people, including most of the groom’s family, from her wedding guest list two weeks before the event, citing a psychic’s warning about “energetic blocks.” Disinvited guests are told via mass email that their “energy is not aligned.” Family drama explodes; the hosts compare it to a cult or scam.

Timestamps & Quotes:

• The Mass Email:
  Morgan: “If you have received this email, it means your energy is not aligned with our sacred union at this time. Please respect our journey.” (101:44)

• Host Takes:
  Tess: “Have they joined a cult?” (103:02)
  Morgan: “If Justin woke up one day and was like, oh, we need to cut half the guest list... I’d be like, what’s going on?” (105:08)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Reporting Workplace Harassment:
  Allison (from Ask a Manager, as read by Morgan): “Tell your boss. Tell HR. Tell other women. Frankly, even if his story were true... it would have been really inappropriate for him to approach you, a co-worker, about this.” (10:35)

• On Lying Partners:
  Tess: “The way that people fight or the way they confess things or show up to tough conversations... says a lot.” (24:37)

• On the Cruel Cat Prank:
  Morgan: “That’s psychological abuse... when you are knowingly subjecting someone to that false hope...” (32:33)

• On Purity Tests:
  Tess: “Everything subtracting from your score and then, like, having to say that... is so demeaning.” (47:55)

• On the Soap Story:
  Morgan: “He was douching his asshole with the bar of soap.” (70:35)

• On Unique Experiences:
  Tess: “All of these have been incredible experiences. I don’t think a single one of them is a unique experience I’m jealous of. No, they all are completely unique experiences—and thank God for that.” (112:34)

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Episode Structure & Flow

• Intro & Theme (light, comedic; banter about haunted monkeys, episode logistics)
• Main Story Section
  • Each story introduced with a title and context
  • Morgan reads the post, Tess chimes in, both analyze, react, and give advice/hot takes
  • Intermittent sponsor breaks (not summarized here)
  • Several updates included, especially for high-stakes stories
• Comment Section
  • Hosts read notable Instagram and Reddit comments after each story
• Closing
  • The episode ends with teasers for bonus content on Patreon

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Key Segments & Timestamps

• [04:18] – Unique Experiences Theme Explanation
• [06:21] – Anatomy Textbook Topless Photo Scam
• [17:56] – Boyfriend’s Job Lie Exposed
• [29:36] – Cruel Cat Prank on Grieving Older Couple
• [42:58] – Boyfriend’s Mom Administers a Purity Test
• [56:49] – Ex Posts Fake Anniversary
• [65:43] – Poop Soap Boyfriend
• [78:53] – Sex in the Dealership Truck
• [98:44] – Bride’s Psychic Wedding Shrinkage

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Tone & Language

• Conversational, irreverent, and direct
• Mix of humor and outrage—quick to point out moral and social red flags
• Frequent joking but respectful towards serious issues (harassment, consent, psychological harm)
• Language is colloquial, with some explicit descriptions (especially in the soap and dealership stories).

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Final Takeaways

• The episode delivers on its promise of truly unique—and sometimes horrifying—stories.
• Hosts underscore the importance of empathy, boundaries, and accountability, both for themselves and in their advice.
• Recurrent themes: workplace boundaries, trust and honesty, social etiquette, and how “red flags” manifest in real life.

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Listen to the episode for full stories, banter, and even wilder bonus content on their Patreon.

Transcript

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Uber. You should check out Uber 1 for students. It comes with a bunch of perks, like $0 delivery fees, up to 10% off eligible orders, and 6% back in Uber credits on rise, plus daily freebies from your favorite brands. Try it out now and get your first four weeks free. Become an Uber One for students. Member and start saving on Uber and Uber Eats eligibility and member terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Ollie. You know what shouldn't be? A hot take wanting great sex and a healthy hoo. Ha. Ollie gets it from loving libido so you can get yours or period hero for PMS support. Ollie puts women's wellness first. Find these supplements and more at any national retailer [e-mail]. that's O L L Y dot com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Okay, all the lights are off. We're recording on everything.

[Tess]

Is that recording even? Also?

[Morgan]

It is. Okay. And we have dual slots today, dual slot memory cards. So, yeah, we're not taking any chances. It's not gonna get us this time. Not taking any chances. Yeah. Wow. I feel like technology. Ever since Kaylin's little haunted monkey came here, I've had some technology glitches.

[Tess]

Ever since Kaylin's little haunted monkey came here.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Kaylin has a haunted monkey named Gordy.

[Tess]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And she made a joke and she's like, he just, like, is really weird around technology. And ever since then, I've had, like, weird tech issues, and I'm just like, it's that damn monkey, Gordy. Gordy. Why would he do that?

[Tess]

Is he gone now?

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah, he's gone.

[Tess]

But he left his mark.

[Morgan]

He went back to their house. Yeah, yeah. We talked about him a little bit on the spooky episode. And she brought him into her house, and then she heard, like, running around upstairs, and she's like, oh, my dog must have got out of his kennel. Dog was in the kennel. Like, it was the monkey.

[Tess]

That's so funny. Also then to bring the little monkey here, like, hey, this is my little monkey that fucks everything up.

[Morgan]

She loves that spooky shit. She's so into it. She wants to go to all the haunted houses. I've decided I can do a haunted house if I do it as, like, a THT meetup. If there's like, 20 of us, then my odds of the ghost going home with me are a lot better.

[Tess]

Going home with You?

[Morgan]

Yeah, at the haunted house. I don't want anything to attach to me.

[Tess]

But at the haunted houses, like, isn't that all man made stuff?

[Morgan]

Oh, no, I'm talking, like, the real spooky places.

[Tess]

Yeah, that's not for me. That's not for me.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I'm gonna give it a go. Yeah, I'm gonna give it a go, but I'm gonna have all of you there with me.

[Tess]

It's over.

[Morgan]

It is.

[Tess]

It's time for great cheer and merry.

[Morgan]

Well, that is not what we have on this episode. So maybe next week we'll circle back to merry and cheerful. I am gonna do, like, a crazy holiday episode and do, like, bad, horrible, horrendous family.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Happy feel good. Christmas. Bad, horrible. Ooh, Feel okay. Christmas.

[Tess]

Okay.

[Morgan]

So that's my. My sandwich.

[Tess]

I love that. I love it when we get both.

[Morgan]

A little best of both worlds.

[Tess]

We had, like, a really sad or scary or bad episode one time. Well, the episode wasn't bad. Like, the stories. And then you ended it with, like, a really happy one. And I was like, oh, my God, that's changed everything. I'm gonna walk out here a happy woman.

[Morgan]

That's why we. We aim to kind of please over here. But today's episode, really wild. Mikaela came up with this theme of unique experiences. Just experiences that are unusual and out of the realm and kind of like, wow. Thought I've heard it all, but that's still a little. Little unique.

[Tess]

Yeah. I feel like it started on Twitter of, like, nobody's ever had an entirely un. And then sometimes you hear a story where you're like, maybe that is an entirely unique experience. Or like a sentence that you're like, oh, that's never been said before.

[Morgan]

Yeah. You'll see it in the comments on TikTok videos where you're like, oh, my God, finally a unique experience. And it's just the most, like, insane situation. So I don't want to hype them up too much in case you guys are like, yeah, no, they suck, but I think they should be pretty good.

[Tess]

Yeah. And if you can actually relate to one of these experiences that we think should be a unique experience, let us know, because I'm. I'm very curious.

[Morgan]

And put yours in the comments. Yes. I love seeing the personal ones. If you have a personal one and you're like, okay, I'll throw it out there now. Like, your. I don't know, your boyfriend ended up hooking up with your brother at a bar in Ireland. I don't. I don't know, something crazy that can't be unique.

[Tess]

That's definitely happened to at least 20 people.

[Morgan]

20, I guess, out of the bill. 8 billion or whatever we're at. Yeah, okay. But put in the comments and without further ado, let's dive in. This episode of two Hot Takes is presented by Ollie. Women always come first with Ollie. That's why they made Love and Libido, a supplement that helps take the pressure off so you can enjoy yourself and sex again. Be a little self serving and get love and libido at a retailer near you or ollie.com so you can get yours. That's o l l y.com and use code THT30 for 30% [e-mail]. okay, this first one, this is coming from Ask a Manager, which is like this blog website where you can write into this manager, Allison, who's just like HR manager expert, and she'll give you a response back. So this is actually coming from there. And the title is. My coworker asked me to pose topless for an anatomy textbook.

[Tess]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I work part time in a small sales office of about 10 people. About a month ago, one of my co workers approached me about doing a project for his graduate program at a local university. It was for some sort of anatomy textbook or similar. It would be a photo of my breasts with my face not in the photo for the textbook. I would be compensated for the photos. There were some red flags in his proposition. The photos would be taken by him in my home, and he never presented me with official paperwork about it. I called the university and they assured me that whatever project he was working on was not through their university, as there would have been extensive paperwork screening photos, professionally taken, et cetera, which was what I had figured in the first place, particularly for such a large university and for a master's program. My question is, is this a matter that I should bring up to my boss? Is this something that she needs to know about?

[Tess]

Yes, yes, your boss needs to know about that. This is such an elaborate plan to just get pictures of a woman's boobs. Like, oh, my God, sir, it's for an in academy textbook.

[Morgan]

Come on.

[Tess]

Okay, then where's the studio? Where's a professional photographer? Like, why would you choose me? Why? Like, why would this not go through some kind of blind, like, audition?

[Morgan]

I don't like.

[Tess]

I don't know how you actually choose a model for a textbook, but it's not that coworker. As someone I'd like to see the boobs of.

[Morgan]

I feel like People sign up to be models. Yeah. Like, they put themselves out there or go to casting calls. It's not, like, totally. Oh, this random person I work with in my small Sales office of 10 people also has a job shooting for anatomy textbooks.

[Tess]

Right.

[Morgan]

Like, textbooks are professionally done. Like, I would imagine that whoever's doing the textbook is, like, an actual professional photographer. Not like. Not like, this is some side gig.

[Tess]

And it wouldn't be at your house.

[Morgan]

It would be your house. No, no.

[Tess]

This is so weird. Like, either way, even if he did have a textbook that he was shooting for, it is still inappropriate to ask your coworker.

[Morgan]

Yeah, ask. Ask anyone else. Put out an open casting call as you're meant to do it. By asking your coworker, I think it's even creepier because it. It also illustrates he's been checking her out. He's creating this elaborate excuse in order to see her boobs.

[Tess]

Yes. And it's like, okay, so you have a textbook if you're gonna shoot someone's breasts, and then you're thinking, oh, who would be perfect for this? Oh, that woman I work with. She would be perfect. Like, why are you thinking of me that way?

[Morgan]

He just wants to see her boobs. He's been, like, checking her out for how many months of them working together, and now he's like, oh, this is a great. This is. This is my in. I'm going to create this elaborate story about a textbook, and then I'm going to say, let's shoot it at your house so I know where she lives.

[Tess]

How did he even. Oh, yeah, at her house. Like, that's so dangerous. He. She definitely needs to tell the manager.

[Morgan]

HR needs to know, stat, because this is ridiculous.

[Tess]

And then, yeah, the university being like, that's not even a thing. Last straw. Yeah.

[Morgan]

No, the university proving it.

[Tess]

If there were even more straws to be had, that's the last straw, I think.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Camel's back is already broken. So on the original thread with Allison, here is her response back. And it was kind of, like, directed towards. Like, my question is this. Is this a matter that I should bring up to my boss? Is this something that she needs to know? And Allison goes, whoa, yes, absolutely. Today, your co worker is trying to prey on colleagues to take topless photos of them under false pretenses. Tell your boss, tell hr, tell other women. Frankly, even if his story were true, which it's not, it would have been really inappropriate for him to approach you, a co worker, about this. That's not how anatomy photos and textbooks Work. This guy is a creep. And your employer needs to know.

[Tess]

Yeah, a thousand percent. And I wonder if when she called the university, if the university was also like, like, like, did they have any internal conversations about that?

[Morgan]

I don't know. Because who knows if he's even a student there. Yeah, like, I don't understand a busy guy.

[Tess]

He's got a lot going on and that's.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I do not understand this dude's story.

[Tess]

Getting a master's. Was it his master's program?

[Morgan]

Apparently. And works in a sales office and.

[Tess]

Is making a textbook as part of the master's program.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Tess]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Very fishy. Yeah, we do get an update. Ooh, this is coming 11 days later and op says this. I have to admit that I didn't wait until I read your reply. I wrote the email to you on a night when both my boss and the co worker in question were not in the office, but my boss was in the next day and I went in early and told her everything. The coworker in question was immediately terminated. I wrote a report for hr, so he is considered non rehirable for any future campaigns. His desk was packed while I was writing my report to hr and by the time I returned to the floor, I. Someone else had even taken his desk.

[Tess]

Wow, they moved fast.

[Morgan]

I love this response. Love this response. It was kind of emotionally taxing for me to respond to comments, so I didn't. But I did read most of them. Our office is incredibly lax compared to most people's, I would imagine. And my background is mostly in food service, so I was honestly very surprised at how many people had chimed in with, this is incredibly inappropriate of your coworker to approach you about. I think when one is used to inappropriate work environments, these sort of interactions don't expressly present themselves as immediately inappropriate, if that makes sense.

[Tess]

Yeah, I, I mean, that does make sense. I think it's very normal to like wonder if you're overreacting when you're the one in the situation. And it's a lot easier to be like, no, that's crazy. And not okay when you are not in that situation. I mean, I've definitely had like, when she says that I think of my jobs in like nightlife food service too. Like I did bottle service. Like the people, the people I worked with made comments all the. Because like, it's about like how you look to some extent. So obviously there's like not really as much of a line there about comments people make about you, but then it's still like even In a situation like that, there are things that are like.

[Morgan]

Okay, yeah, and it's easy to just like question it when you're in it. You're like, yeah, whatever, I'm used to it. Or it's not that weird. Like you kind of just like convince yourself because also you need to work.

[Tess]

Right.

[Morgan]

She does go on to say, in regards to a certain comment thread, yes, I was concerned about retaliation. This coworker was not only a former Marine, but a knife fighting instructor.

[Tess]

What the.

[Morgan]

See, sorry, this makes no sense. Why?

[Tess]

Completely unique experience.

[Morgan]

Like, what the. But as other people have commented, I think women in general are concerned about retaliation in our everyday lives, not just when someone we know is harassing us. At the end of the day, this clown couldn't even put any damn effort into making his sleazy scheme smack of the official. So I think he is not likely to put any extra effort into tracking me down over his part time job. But I am walking accompanied to transit every night. Regardless, thanks so much for your advice. I do really appreciate it and I appreciate everyone's comments. I hope that anyone who reads your site knows that they should feel comfortable reporting harassment when they experience it. I am grateful that in this case, things were dealt with very swiftly and justly because I know that isn't always the case.

[Tess]

Yeah, I mean, hey, if any of you have had a knife fighting instructor who's in a master's program and works with you tell you they'd like to take pictures of you topless for their anatomy textbook, let us know. You know, if you know a friend who's that's happened to. If you know, like, hey, hit us up.

[Morgan]

Because that's unique.

[Tess]

I'm curious. There's no way.

[Morgan]

That's crazy. Well, it's also like, okay, when people start lying about stuff, then I'm like, I don't believe anything. I'm like, was he a marine? Was he a knife fighting instructor? Is that like a common thing?

[Tess]

I've. Well, I've certainly never heard of it, but they gotta be out there.

[Morgan]

Andy's a photographer for anatomy textbooks.

[Tess]

No way.

[Morgan]

Andy's getting his master's and he works here.

[Tess]

I think he's not a photographer for an. Well, he's definitely not a photographer for an anatomy textbook, but I think, I think he was maybe saying he was making an anatomy textbook as part of his master's program. Hmm.

[Morgan]

But then I'm like, is he even in a master's program?

[Tess]

No, I don't know. And also, yeah, maybe he was lying about Being a knife fighting instructor. Because that sounds like. Like a. Ooh, I'm a. I'm a knife fighting instructor. You don't want to mess with me.

[Morgan]

It does. It sounds fake, but, like, we're gonna have knife fighting instructors out. A real job, Morgan.

[Tess]

Well, it probably is. And I could see, like, someone who is a Marine go into that. But where does he find the time?

[Morgan]

Lot of. Lot of things going on. Where does he find the time? Lot of things going on.

[Tess]

Well, he's got more time now. He lost his job, so.

[Morgan]

He did. He did lose that job. Hopefully he stays away from that job.

[Tess]

And the women op alone work there. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I just don't know why there needs to be better social skills for people. They need to stop men, they need to stop falling into, like, toxic online rhetoric. Because it's like, if you were just like, a decent guy and, like, you want to see some boobs. If you just kindly asked people to go on dates and started to, you know, maybe get interested in someone and courted them, you could see boobs probably a lot easier than this.

[Tess]

Sure, sure. But you don't get to just see whoever's boobs. You want to see that. Like, that's just not how it works.

[Morgan]

No.

[Tess]

And that is not the case. You can see boo, but you either have to look them up or, you know, get into a relationship with somebody or have a consensual experience with somebody where you're both signing up for an experience that you are aware is the experience you're having instead of a fake experience you've conjected. Conjected Con created. Something like that.

[Morgan]

Something like that, huh? Okay, moving on. Next. Oh, there you go. This next one we have is coming from the Ask Aubry Instagram account. I actually have two coming from her. I've since tried to find both of them on Reddit. I cannot. So I don't know where Ask Aubry is finding them. There's one I've seen on her page that I was able to go find, and it's on the 2outtakes subreddit. I think, because I'm a moderator, like, I can see any post and also it hasn't been removed from my sub, but I think on the other stories I have from her, I think they were removed from whatever sub they were posted in.

[Tess]

It's so hard to find posts on Reddit if, like, I. That happens to me on Twitter.

[Morgan]

Yeah, you sent me one from Twitter.

[Tess]

Yeah. Like, I'll find a post, like a Reddit post on Twitter and then I'll try to actually find it on Reddit and it's, like, impossible somehow.

[Morgan]

I know if you don't catch it quick enough and it gets removed, there's really no way of getting it back. Like, you'll have the screenshots and you'll be able to see. But for this one and the next one, we obviously won't have any comments.

[Tess]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Yeah. But Instagram comments, we do we have some Instagram comments. We can read those. That'll kind of. Yeah. Maybe satiate our. Our craving for a comment. Okay, here is the first one. My boyfriend's joke at dinner made me realize he's been lying about his job for eight months. I, 27, female, have been dating Ryan, 29, male, for about a year and a half. He told me from the start that he works in pharmaceutical sales, makes decent money, travels sometimes for conferences. The whole thing. I never had a reason to question it. Last night, we went to dinner with my parents in Austin, where I'm from. My dad, 61, male, is a retired pharmacist, and he was asking Ryan about his work, which pharma company, what drugs. He specializes in that kind of thing. Normal conversation. Ryan got really vague. Like, weirdly vague. Kept redirecting when my dad asked what his territory was, and Ryan said, quote, oh, you know, central region, mostly. And my dad was like, so Oklahoma, Kansas. And Ryan literally said, quote, yeah, and other places it's pretty fluid. Then my dad mentioned some new medication that just got approved, and Ryan had no idea what he was talking about. My dad looked confused, but moved on. Here's where it got weird. We're in the car after, and I'm like, that was awkward. You seemed really uncomfortable. And Ryan laughs and goes, yeah, your dad almost caught me. I was like, what? And he says, I don't actually work in pharma sales, babe. I'm a grocery store manager. I manage the Whole Foods on Lamar. I literally just stared at him. He kept talking like, this was funny. Said he told me pharma sales when we first met because it sounded better. And then it became this thing where he couldn't figure out how to tell me the truth. So he just kept going with it. Eight months. He's been lying for eight months since, like, March. I asked why he lied about traveling for conferences, and he said he was actually doing training sessions for new hires at other Whole Foods locations. The late nights were just him closing the store. He genuinely seemed to think this was, like, a cute confession, like I'd laugh about it. He was smiling and said, Come on, it's not that big of a deal. I still make good money. I told him to take me home. And I haven't really talked to him since last night. He's been texting, saying I'm overreacting and it was just small lies that got out of hand. My best friend says I should dump him immediately. My sister thinks I should hear him out because everyone lies a little when dating. But I keep thinking, what else has he lied about? And why did he think pharmaceutical sales sounded better than store manager? There's nothing wrong with managing a grocery store. The lying is what's weird. Am I overreacting or is this as big of a red flag as it feels?

[Tess]

This is a crazy red flag. And also like, the way that he confessed to it is crazy.

[Morgan]

Oh, he almost caught me. Haha. Like, she's in on the joke. Yeah, she has no idea.

[Tess]

Like, you're about to tell me something that like, completely changes. Like now I have to think about. Yeah, the late nights that you had and the conferences you went to. Like, this isn't just some small little thing. And for someone to be able to have such an elaborate lie to you for eight months, it would still be bad if he apologized and was like, okay, I have to tell you, something like, this has gotten out of hand and I'm so sorry for misleading you. Even if he'd had like a very genuine real apology like that, it still would be concerning. But he didn't even do that.

[Morgan]

Didn't. No. That's a really good point.

[Tess]

I, I don't like this. Like, I, I do think that lying is like, to this extent, it's something that with practice you get better at and you get more comfortable with it and you feel less bad about doing it and you feel like it's less of a big deal. And for him to be like, so just in the zone with this. It does concern me for the future.

[Morgan]

It really does. Because for me, I look at this and it's like, I think the response really shows something scary. It just feels like really manipulative and not necessarily gaslighting, but it feels like such a toxic thing where it's just like, oh, he almost caught me. Haha, not that big of a deal. Yeah, I don't know. Small thing. Small thing, babe. The response is concerning. But beyond that, he lied not once, not twice. He has been lying consistently for months. They've been together a year and a half. She said, like, he's been lying about this for eight months. I don't know if this was a new job that he then was lying about. I don't know. But he's lied to you multiple times. Oh, I'm working late tonight. Gotta take a doctor out to dinner. Yeah, he's at the store. So if he's so comfortable lying again and again and again to you, he's gonna keep lying. I also think it's just, like, how do you trust anything going forward?

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

When he's like, yeah, I'm going out to dinner with some buddies. How do I know that you were so easily incapable of lying in the past about everything that, like, I don't have any faith or trust in you now?

[Tess]

Yeah. Like, you would never have trust issues.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And it's like, he's clearly able to hide shit.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, I just think someone like this that's so deceptive, you can't be with, like, he needs to go start fresh with someone else. It's not you. This is absolutely crazy to lie like this for so long.

[Tess]

Yeah. And I think you touched on this with the gaslighting thing. I always like the way that people fight or the way people confess things or, like, the way that they show up to tough conversations. I think says a lot. And this gives me the impression that, like, when he does something wrong, he will always minimize it. He will always laugh it off. He'll always act like you're overreacting, like, you're crazy for feeling the way you do. And I. I don't like how that will continue to show up in everything that they have in the future. I mean, they're only a year and a half in. Like, sometimes these things don'. Show up for the first year and a half. Like, you have kids one day, you get married one day. Like, all of these different things happen. And now the stakes are higher, and he's still, like, minimizing his wrongdoings and acting like you're crazy.

[Morgan]

You lied for eight months about your job.

[Tess]

My dad has the job that you're lying about having. Like, that also puts her in an uncomfortable position because now she has to.

[Morgan]

Tell her family, oh, my God, her dad's a pharmacist. An old pharmacist. Like, out of all the jobs you could have picked, why that one? I also wonder if that had something to do with her dad being a pharmacist, if he was, like, trying to impress her. Because it's like, your dad's a pharmacist. Hey, I'm a drug rep. Like, I make good money.

[Tess]

It was either that or it was his Nightmare scenario of, oh, shit, her dad is what I'm pretending to be. And now I'm gonna have to, like, lie harder.

[Morgan]

So weird.

[Tess]

Break up with him. It's scary.

[Morgan]

The top comment on the Instagram post. And when she does dump him for lying and being untrustworthy, he'll be like, I can't believe she dumped me because I work at Whole Foods. Yep. It's like, it's not that. It's quite literally not that.

[Tess]

These freaking gold diggers, man.

[Morgan]

She wouldn't have cared. Yeah, you lied repeatedly, again and again. Not just one lie, but dozens, maybe hundreds. If you've been together that long and you have enough trainings and working late that many times, like, it could be hundreds of lies.

[Tess]

It's so true. He might take that as the lesson from this. If she dumps him, like, oh, it was because of my job and not because of all of these extremely valid red flags and things that he did wrong.

[Morgan]

He is completely untrustworthy. There's no integrity there. There's no sense of ever being able to have faith in him going forward. To tell you the truth. Like, I also think at a bare minimum too, I don't think he respects you if he's willing to lie to you like that again and again and again. I don't think someone like that respects you. And without respect in a relationship, like, you're a mat, they'll walk over.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, they'll do whatever they want to do to get their way and make sure that their self is served.

[Tess]

Especially if they've already gotten away with something like this and you're fine with it.

[Morgan]

It's crazy, dude. This is crazy. The more I'm just. I hate when people lie like this.

[Tess]

Like, I understand being insecure about a job and, like, the urge to buff it up and, you know, make yourself sound more impressive. But, like, again, lying to a woman, lying to anybody about what you do for work so that they will sleep with you and date you. Like that already is not okay. Even if it just happens once, like for a one night stand, it's still like you're misrepresenting who you are and lying about your identity. So to do that for eight months. Yeah. Yeah, it just. Yeah, I hate it. Did I reply to any hate it? Oh, it's.

[Morgan]

No, no, we got no replies.

[Tess]

Wow. We don't know what's happening. Any other comments that are speaking to you?

[Morgan]

Nothing that's worth writing home about. I mean, people are just like, yeah, he's untrustworthy. He lied about Something so unnecessary to lie about in the first place and then maintain that lie for over a year.

[Tess]

You seeing anyone else take the other. Other viewpoint?

[Morgan]

No.

[Tess]

Wow. Okay. I like to see it. We're in agreement. I love it when we're in agreement. Yeah. Sometimes I have an opinion and then I hear what the actual thoughts are and I shocked Pikachu face. I'm like, I can't imagine. I can't believe it.

[Morgan]

I know. I always get a little concerned for humanity based on some of the votes on some of the posts. But then I'm like, I don't know. Everyone's responding with their own experiences and. Yeah, teach, you know, do your own thing.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But moving on to this next one, story number three for us. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Did you know it's Men's Health Awareness Month and Talkspace wants to know how you feel. Guys, it's November, so prioritize your health by prioritizing your mental health with Talkspace. I have loved online therapy in the past. It's really helped me deal with issues like burnout, anxiety, setting boundaries with people. Talkspace is covered by most major insurance plans and many employers. Most of their insured members have a $0 copay. It's super easy to sign up online, and you can always switch providers at no extra cost. And Talkspace even has couples therapy. There's more to Men's Health Awareness Month than just mustaches. Talkspace is here to help you with therapy on your terms. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with talk. Go to talkspace.com THD and enter promo code SPACE80. That's S, P A C E80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com THT and enter promo code SPACE80. Okay, this next one. Oh, it's just like, it might make you lose a little in humanity, but it's a story that's important to read. I think, you know, could all take something away from it.

[Tess]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Morgan]

Maybe this is coming from R relationship advice. It's titled My 18 Female Boyfriend and His Friends. 18, 19 male. Played a viciously cruel prank on an older couple who lost their cat. Obviously, I'm breaking up with him, but what else can I do to make this right?

[Tess]

When it's like an older couple, I just, like, that's where I get too upset.

[Morgan]

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year. We are both honors students who are graduating in about a month. He's a good guy and we were going to try to make it work even though we are going to different out of state schools. However, he has a group of friends and when he's with them, he does very stupid things. He was out with them last night and called me and told me he was at Purple Heart park and if I wanted to come, I could come and see them. I live about a block away in Rita, so I told my parents and they were fine with me going. When I got there, they were like rolling on the ground, they were laughing so hard. I asked them what was so funny and they wouldn't say. Then one pointed to an older couple who was walking around with a flashlight, calling the obvious name of a pet. I could not figure out what was so funny about that, but as the couple came closer to us, they said we needed to leave. When we got into my boyfriend's car, they absolutely lost it with laughter. I asked them what happened and maybe 30 minutes prior, one of them had spotted a missing cat poster and called the number and lied and told the owner that they had spotted the cat in Purple Heart Park. I instantly knew the posters since one was on our mailbox and they had been there for maybe six weeks In Tucson. We know when a cat has gone that long. A coyote had gotten it. I wanted to throw up. This was so cruel to do to those poor people, to give them hope like that. I demanded to be taken home that second and he did. I didn't say a word to any of them. And I hate that I even know this happened. I'm going to break up with him, but what can or should I do to make this up to the poor couple who was missing the cat? I'm devastated with guilt that I know something about it, but don't know what I should do. I can't ask my parents because I'm afraid my dad will actually beat the crap out of them and risk losing his job. He's such an animal lover.

[Tess]

This I. This is so fucked up. To get that much enjoyment out of it and to like, think it's so funny and awesome that this poor older couple is searching through the park at night with flashlights because they think that their cat's there. And, like, they've been putting the flyers everywhere. Like, she even found Flyerford in her mailbox. Like, it's. They've been trying so hard and this is so mean.

[Morgan]

It's so mean. Six weeks to like a month and a half of your pet being gone. Like, that is just cruel and devastating and to like, toy with them like that. Yeah, it's psychological abuse, like, really is. Like, when you are knowingly subjecting someone to, like, that false hope. And like, with them like that, that's. That's really messed up. Like, it's really speaking to deranged men. Like, because they're 18 and 19, they're about to go off into the world on their own. Like, these are not just kids. Like, these are people that really don't have a moral compass and need to find the light quickly because this is. This is shitty. Yeah, it's hard. Go ahead.

[Tess]

I was just gonna say with, like, her question at the end. Initially, I was like, I don't know if there's anything she can do.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Tess]

But then also when I thought about it more, I was like, she probably does need to tell them that this was like a prank call. Because if they have this idea that, like, yeah, they could be out late at night, like, searching for the cat, really trying to look in that area more like renewing their efforts. And it's like, all just because of a lie and, like a joke, I think it's probably the right thing to do to tell them. But yeah, like, damn, that's gotta also, like, for them. Their faith in humanity is gonna be shattered after that.

[Morgan]

I know. And it sucks because it's like, that's not OP's job to have to do that. But it is kind of one of those, like, it would just be a nice, caring gesture to be like, hey, like, I. And I would just, like, remove yourself from it. I'd almost just be like, hey, I heard some kids talking at school that, like, they prank called you guys. I'm really sorry. Like, I don't think they saw your cat, like, based on what they were saying about this prank.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And just remove yourself. You don't have to say my boyfriend. Like, but, like, I think you could definitely tell them.

[Tess]

Yeah. And you can offer, like, next time you look, I can go with you. I mean, if you really wanted do something to, like, try to make it up for them. Yeah. Maybe this is the start of a beautiful friendship. Who knows? But, yeah, it's not OP's responsibility. I think just sharing that information with them so that they're not doing more sleepless nights looking for this cat.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Top comment on this one. To back you up, I can truthfully say there is no way I could continue seeing someone who not only did something like this, but laughed and laughed about it afterwards. Disgusting. No wonder you are so upset. I feel for you and wish you and the cat owners, all the best.

[Tess]

The, the laughing about it and the, the amount of enjoyment they got out of it is definitely the worst part in my mind. Like, it's sick. The enjoyment of someone suffering. And even if it wasn't the boyfriend's like, idea and he just went along with it, it's like, okay, so you're just like a follower to like anything, any awful thing people say that's like, ew, I don't want to be with someone who's like a weak willed, no backbone asshole. Like you're an asshole and you're weak.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not looking good for you.

[Tess]

Yeah. My guy.

[Morgan]

So we do get an update. Wait, we get an update. So I posted the original on Sunday morning after it all happened and here it is. So basically breaking up with my boyfriend was an easy decision and I did it over text. He said that like after a year, he deserved better than a text breakup. I said after what I saw him do on Saturday night, he really didn't. He tried to say that the prank was not his idea and I really needed to cut him some slack. I said that maybe it wasn't his idea, but I saw him laughing just as hard as his friends and that was enough for me. He's been a total shit at school, but it started turning on him bad when I explained to people why we broke up and who he was with. A guy who graduated last year who's a creep. What was harder is what I should do with the people. I had two choices as I saw it. Either not call and let them have false hope the cat was still alive, or call and let them know they had been pranked. Basically, after thinking about it all day, I decided that if it were my dog in question, I'd want all the info I could get. I was so nervous calling them, but the lady answered and I think I said I had some information about their lost cat. She basically stopped me and said that it was a miracle, but their cat had been turned in to Pima County Animal Control two days prior and they finally gotten a return on the chip. And they called them that very morning and they had just gotten the cat home.

[Tess]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

I was so relieved because I didn't have to tell them some awful news about how my boyfriend was a piece of shit. I was also happy for her because she seemed so happy. I told her I was very happy her cat was home and said goodbye. So that's like really good news and I'm happy to get rid of my idiot Boyfriend.

[Tess]

Oh my God. I didn't expect a happy ending to this.

[Morgan]

Awkla's here, tearing up.

[Tess]

I feel like I. Because I thought there's no way they're ever going to find the cat. So the only two things that can happen here is either, you know, they tell them it was a prank or they let them have false hope like she said.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Tess]

And this secret third option, like, are you kidding? Thank God.

[Morgan]

Behind door number three, my faith is back.

[Tess]

Things can be okay.

[Morgan]

Oh, I know.

[Tess]

Really, really good ending.

[Morgan]

And hopefully boyfriend, ex boyfriend wakes up, gets his shit together.

[Tess]

I mean it's pretty, it's pretty irredeemable. But maybe There are some 18 year olds who still have the potential to grow and become better people. And I think a lot of people in this world do something that they maybe spend the rest of their lives feeling bad about. Like they say something or they, you know, act in a petty way that like just wasn't necessary or whatever and then they're. Maybe he'll grow conscience after this. I don't know.

[Morgan]

I think so. I think like if you got dumped over something like this, I hope it doesn't push him the other way where he's then resentful and sneakier and whatever. Like yeah, I hope this is like a. Oh yeah, no, this was shitty.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

There's consequences. And hopefully he learns. I mean he's young, 18, 19, however old. But like you gotta grow up at some point.

[Tess]

Yeah. We do all have to learn empathy. Like it is a learned thing over time. Of like, okay, I'm not the center of the universe. Like just because I'm living in my head doesn't mean everyone else isn't living in their heads too, you know. But yeah, for some people it's a slower experience, I think. So I'm, I'm more lenient now because the cat's okay and was returned.

[Morgan]

I'm like, still definitely stay broken up.

[Tess]

Yeah, no, no, no. But I'm like, maybe this guy has, there's a chance, one chance there he could be a better person. I don't know.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I don't know. It is interesting. That's like a conversation we've had quite a bit on this podcast. Is like, is empathy something you can learn? Like are we just born empathetic? Like there are some people that I think like they, they just will never get empathy and I think that's just the way their brain is. Something's not firing in a part of their brain. I don't know. But like I do think you can also learn how to increase your empathy.

[Tess]

Yeah, I think, I mean, I remember being some kind of age in the teens and like understanding for the first time that like other people's perspectives are because they've had completely unique experiences from mine and like, you know, like, I think you start to understand other people more and more and more. But I do think also, you know, children are often very kind and like sweet and understand like, hey, that hurt mommy. And like they learned that lesson pretty young if they like hit mommy and it hurts or something. But yeah, I, I think you see this a lot with teenagers. And even though 18 is technically an adult, it's like there's sometimes 18 year olds aren't really adults. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I mean there's guys in my life that like, were very immature for their age and they were, they were like two years behind what their actual age was.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Just because of school and you know, they were in a different grade than what their age was supposed to like put them in, like grade wise or whatever that is. So I think like everyone can mature at different rates.

[Tess]

But like, these are the moments though that like could make that 100%.

[Morgan]

This is the fork in the road. So hopefully he takes the right path. But moving on to this next one.

[Tess]

Very nice of us. Very generous of us to. Hey, to give them a little bit of hope there.

[Morgan]

If that cat wouldn't have been okay, I would have been driving to Tucson and hitting someone with a bat. But cat's okay, so we're okay. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Just like choosing which honeymoon photo to post, State Farm has options to choose from to help you find the coverage that best fits your needs. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Cover coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

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[Morgan]

Okay, so this is the other one coming from Ask Aubrey. And again, we won't have any comments from Op Op because that's just we don't have it. But it is an interesting one, and I think it's worth a read.

[Tess]

I believe you if Morgan is saying a Reddit story is worth a read. All right, strap me in.

[Morgan]

Buckle up. So this is titled, my boyfriend's mom gave me a purity test at family dinner, and now he's mad at me for leaving. Oh, God. Unique experience, for sure. A purity test.

[Tess]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I, 26, female, have been dating my boyfriend Ryan, 28, male, for about 10 months. Things have been pretty good until last weekend when I finally met his parents at their house in Atlanta for Sunday dinner.

[Tess]

Hey, I got Atlanta on my shirt.

[Morgan]

Look at that. I was so shocked when she gave it to me. I didn't even know what to say. I just stared at her. She took my silence as me refusing to answer and said, I see. So you have things to hide. I stood up and said I needed to use the bathroom, but instead I just grabbed my purse and left. Called an Uber from the driveway. Ryan didn't even notice I was gone until, like, 20 minutes later when he came back inside. He's been blowing up my phone ever since, saying I embarrassed him in front of his parents and I should have just played along to keep the peace. His mom is apparently very upset and crying, saying that I rejected her attempt to get to know me better. Ryan says his mom is just protective and comes from a really religious background, so I need to be understanding. But, like, a purity test on an app at 26 years old? Am I insane or was that completely out of line?

[Tess]

I cannot imagine this happening. So it's an app. It's a purity test on an app.

[Morgan]

It must be. Yeah, it's okay, Op. Isn't writing this the best? I mean, a lot of people I think, are like, kind of like, are we sure this one's real? But I will say, long before AI ever existed, and obviously people could still write creatively online, I had a story, and it was an episode. It was an unhinged episode. I think it was unhinged 2.0. Me, Lauren and Justin. And we had a story about a woman writing in, and her fiance had kind of blindsided her the night before the wedding and was requesting that his family check her hymen for purity before the wedding. She's still intact.

[Tess]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

I do think there are people out here that, oh, absolutely, are like this. Like, I feel like there's stories we've read or things where people have been like, yeah, his mom confronted me and asked me if I was still A virgin? Yeah, if I was good enough for her son or like, you know, people imply stuff like that all the time.

[Tess]

Yeah. I think that the, the purity app of it all, especially upon first meeting, is like, what makes this a unique experience. But to have like a mother in law or like mother of someone try to find out if their future daughter in law would be pure, like that is not that crazy. Like that. That unfortunately is happening. And I cannot imagine, like showing up to meet my partner's parents for the first time and they pull out a purity app and say, take this test. And then, oh, so you do have something to hide. I'm 26. I am 26 years old. Like, yes, I've lived a life. God forbid I've lived a life.

[Morgan]

So, doing some quick research, there is an app in the app store I.

[Tess]

Was gonna look for this.

[Morgan]

It is called the Rice Purity Test. Plus, looking at some of the questions, there's a screenshot.

[Tess]

Does it have reviews?

[Morgan]

No reviews yet. Not enough reviews to generate a rating. But this is real. From what I'm seeing. This is real. And here are some of the questions. Held hands romantically? Been on a date. Been in a relationship. Danced without leaving room for Jesus? Kissed a non family member? Kissed a non family member on the lips. French kissed. French kissed in public. Kissed on the neck? Kissed horizontally. Given or received a hickey?

[Tess]

Kissed horizontally.

[Morgan]

Kissed or been kissed on the breast? Kissed someone below the belt? Kissed for more than two hours. Consecutively. Played a game involving stripping.

[Tess]

This is like, this is so funny because this is also kind of a meme that goes around on like Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media app sometime where it's like, oh, add up your score and if you've done these things and then say what your score is, but don't say why your score is what it is. And it's like, oh my. You know what?

[Morgan]

So that's what it does. Every single time you check the box. It does subtract a point. I believe there's a hundred questions I can only see to number 43. I'll make sure we post the image on our Instagram so you guys can see. I don't. I don't know if you'd be able to read it on YouTube, but we'll put it in there as well.

[Tess]

Everything subtracting from your score and then like, having to say that to your partner and their family is so demeaning. Like, oh, here's my number out of.

[Morgan]

This, of how pure I am. Like, I mean, these. They start to get A little crazy, too. Like, seen red porn. Gone through the motions of intercourse while fully dressed, Undressed, or been undressed by a member of the preferred sex. Showered with an mps member of the preferred sex. Fondled or had your butt cheeks fondled? Had your breasts fondled? Had. Or given blue balls? Had an orgasm due to someone else's manipulation.

[Tess]

Are these worth different amounts of points?

[Morgan]

Purchased contraceptives.

[Tess]

Like, is holding hands gonna subtract the same amount as.

[Morgan]

I believe so.

[Tess]

That's crazy. It's not even a good test.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it's used to see how pure you are. It's free, fun, and exciting. It has 100 questions, and the lower the score you get, the more things you did and the less pure you are. It's fun, free, and exciting.

[Tess]

I believe that this is a thing because when I was going through my, like, elementary school stuff, I found a contract that I had signed with the church. What?

[Morgan]

And I.

[Tess]

And I grew up Christian, and they had, like, created this contract of like, I will not kiss until this age. I will not date until this age. And then it has like my like 7 year old signature on it. So this does not sound far off to me because I literally signed a purity contract.

[Morgan]

I just like, I don't understand this mindset. I'm like, I'm lost in the sauce. On this website. There's. Now there's a website for it too. Thericepuritytest.com and it goes, Caution, this is not a bucket list. Completion of all items on this test will likely result in death.

[Tess]

Stop. This is not a bucket list. I mean, so funny.

[Morgan]

Question 70. Had sexual intercourse 10 or more times.

[Tess]

Traveled. She's 26.

[Morgan]

Traveled. Okay, I'm like, fucked up. I would actually check so many of these boxes.

[Tess]

Yes. Because you're an adult woman.

[Morgan]

Traveled 100 or more miles for the primary purpose of sexual intercourse. Yep. Right here. We're taking planes 2,000 miles to get, like, what? Wait. This mom would hate my guts.

[Tess]

That being a question is so funny. And that's also hilarious.

[Morgan]

Had a pregnancy scare. Ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Tess]

Well, yeah.

[Morgan]

I have not done number 100, though.

[Tess]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Engaged in bestiality. Oh, so there's some wonky questions.

[Tess]

And again, is that worth the same amount of points as holding hands? Like, there should be some.

[Morgan]

Find out. Let's find out. Okay, so I'm clicking holding hands.

[Tess]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Calculate my score.99. Okay, so it took one off.

[Tess]

Right?

[Morgan]

I'm gonna take this lovely test again. Okay. Bestiality, for example. Bestiality score of 99. Same amount of points. Holding hands or participating in bestiality.

[Tess]

Oh, well done, Tess.

[Morgan]

Same amount of points. So given all of our research here.

[Tess]

Yes.

[Morgan]

You know, I always say I believe these stories about 90% of the time. I, I actually, I'm very convinced looking at this app.

[Tess]

I absolutely believe that this is a thing that would happen. And honestly, like, even if it's not a mother in law with a purity app, I'm sure that there are, like, pastors out there. You know, when people are, like, getting married and they consult with a pastor, I'm sure that there's like some communities where this purity test in a written form of some kind is used. Like, this does not sound like they made an app based on there being no paper trail history of it. It's just such a crazy thing to do in 2025 as well as, like, to a 26 year old woman.

[Morgan]

And that's the thing. He's 28, she's 26. Like, is he also getting this purity test? Like, does his mother care about his purity or is it only this girlfriend's like, the.

[Tess]

And her, if her mother gave him the purity test, would, like, his mother also think that's weird? Like, why are you doing that to my son? Yeah.

[Morgan]

No, this is absurd.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I think the overall question, am I insane? No, you're not insane. Was that completely out of line, leaving the family dinner in an Uber?

[Tess]

No, no.

[Morgan]

I would have done the same thing.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

The fact, like, I, I do wish, like, you would have just given your boyfriend a chance to be like, hey, this is really inappropriate. Like, I'm gonna go. I wish you would have done that.

[Tess]

Did he not have that chance?

[Morgan]

I think she just kind of like left and went out and just like gotten the Uber and left. Sounds like he wasn't there during this conversation.

[Tess]

Oh, really?

[Morgan]

Like, he was outside maybe cooking, hanging with dad, whatever. Interesting. Maybe she's helping mom in the kitchen and she slips the app her way. I do wish you would have given him the chance to respond. Like, I think you already. Yeah, I would have a boyfriend problem based on him being like, she was just trying to get to know you. You already have a boyfriend problem. Not just his mom being an issue, but if he would have stood by you more in the moment before you left, like, then I would have been like, okay, like, you know, boyfriend's a good guy. He's standing up for you. Mom's crazy.

[Tess]

Right?

[Morgan]

But at least you know now you know and he can set some boundaries with her. Yeah, but that's not the case. Now he's taking his calling aside.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

For this absurd, crazy thing. And no, I think, I think toxic.

[Tess]

Like triangle to get into of like now mom's crying, she's like, oh, my God, I can't believe this happened. Why'd you get so upset with me?

[Morgan]

They're enmeshed. We all know that. You all were hearing it in your head before I even said it. I've held off for quite some time saying that now, you guys.

[Tess]

Because we were doing research. Because we were on the ground doing research.

[Morgan]

On the ground doing research. But I think like, you chalk this up and you run the other way. This is a unique experience that you have for the books. You know what to avoid. Hopefully this comes up a lot sooner in other relationships if it comes up again and is not a unique experience. But I really. This one's not worth being around. Like the mom is genuinely. If you're getting this goofy the first time you met her.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Imagine what kind of mother in law you will have to deal with the rest of your life if you choose to proceed down the step.

[Tess]

The audacity, the like, nope, ooh, I can do whatever I want. Like, I can't imagine that that would ever get better. It would just get crazier and crazier over time.

[Morgan]

Well, and the fact that he like, I'm like looking at his response, I'm getting so mad. He said like, she should have just played along to keep the peace.

[Tess]

Right. So he knows what she did and he still is taking his mother's side. Yeah.

[Morgan]

And it's like, why do I have to talk about my intimate experiences? Because some of them are intimate. Like if you go down and look at the questions. Yeah. We can laugh about the holding hands thing.

[Tess]

Pregnancy scare.

[Morgan]

And like a lot of intimate personal questions. Questions that honestly violate hipaa.

[Tess]

They violate hipaa. That would be such a funny response. I'm sorry, but this violates hipaa.

[Morgan]

Like, come on. So I think at that point it's like, no, I'm not going to entertain someone basically harassing me and violating my privacy and being completely inappropriate. That is none of your mother's business. Do you want me to go into detail about how I suck your dick with your mom? Oh, in that time I fingered your butthole. Yeah. Should I tell your mom that, like.

[Tess]

Ah, why would she even want to know about that? I like, would not want to know.

[Morgan]

Because she wants to fuck her son.

[Tess]

Oh.

[Morgan]

She wants to know exactly what her son is doing. She's going to live vicariously through this purity test.

[Tess]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

That might be a reach. Okay, that might be a reach, but it's. It's gross. And I think you need to break up.

[Tess]

And inappropriate. And it has to stop.

[Morgan]

The top comment on Instagram. What's worse than a boy mom? A religious fanatic. Boy mom. Run. Next comment. He took his mom's side. He always will. Next one. How is he not furious at his mom for being embarrassing? Also, people need to stop misusing that word. A fart at dinner is embarrassing. This is just way out of line, batshit crazy behavior. Yeah, I will say the Instagram comments, they're a little more rambunctious than what we see on Reddit these days.

[Tess]

I know. I do like the Instagram comments.

[Morgan]

Batshit crazy.

[Tess]

It's so entitled and, like, inappropriate and wrong.

[Morgan]

I just, you know, I'm at a loss for words.

[Tess]

Yeah. If he can't take your side in such an obvious situation like that, you are signing yourself up for a world of disappointment and being left out to dry. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay, this next one coming from our very own two Hot Takes subreddit. Seven days old.

[Tess]

Seven days.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Titled. My ex posted a happy anniversary with me six months after we broke up.

[Tess]

I'm obsessed with this.

[Morgan]

So my ex and I broke up in April. It wasn't messy, but it wasn't exactly peaceful either. He wanted to focus on himself, which was code for flirting with girls on Discord. Anyways, fast forward to now. November, about seven months, and one of my friends sends me a screenshot from his Insta story quote, happy three years. Love you forever, with a picture of us from 2022. I actually thought it was a throwback or something, but no, he literally captioned it like, we're still together. We haven't spoken since the breakup. I'm not blocked or anything, just ignored. So now I'm sitting here getting texts from mutual friends asking if we got back together, and I'm like, what alternate reality is this man living in? I don't know if it's to make me look like I still care or to make him look like he's the loyal one who never moved on, but either way, it's weird. Like, dude, we broke up half a year ago. You can't just retroactively celebrate an anniversary that doesn't exist. Part of me wants to respond with happy delusion day, but I'm being good.

[Tess]

At first I was like, oh, this is so funny. This is so crazy. And now I'm like, is this scary?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Tess]

Like, I think it might Be a little bit scary because obviously someone having delusions that involve you is a scary situation to be in.

[Morgan]

Sure is.

[Tess]

I have one friend, my friend Ellie. Her ex posted like on her birthday. Happy birthday to my favorite ex. Which was already crazy Ellie, but this is so much crazier.

[Morgan]

Ellie, what the heck?

[Tess]

They're like friends. It's just, it's like objectively a hilarious thing to post.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Tess]

But yeah, like, I don't know if like, is he having some kind of health, like, mental health problem?

[Morgan]

That's what I'm getting.

[Tess]

Is he actually, you know, or is this more of like a scary stalker type situation? Or is he like, I don't like a secret third option that I'm trying to think of.

[Morgan]

It is really, for me, I'm like, it's giving, it's giving mental health crisis. And just like, okay, something is really up here and he needs some help because the delusion. You broke up. What'd you say?

[Tess]

Seven months ago?

[Morgan]

You broke up in April. It's now November and we've been broken up for half a year. Over. Over half a year. And you're posting a three year anniversary. We're not together.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So who are you trying to impress? It's not me. And if you're not trying to impress someone, it's just pure delusion, right?

[Tess]

More than anything, if someone's lying about being in a relationship, it's usually like pretending that they're not in one so that they can hook up with people. I know. Like, I don't see what the upside of pretending you are still in a relationship with somebody is.

[Morgan]

Maybe the flirting on Discord hasn't worked out and so now he's just trying to like, that's so true. Look cool.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

To the other guys he plays Discord with. Oh, yeah.

[Tess]

Like, I've got a girlfriend.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I got this hot girl. Like, like he's probably telling all these Discord people like, oh, no, no, no. Like, I'm not hating on you. I have a girlfriend.

[Tess]

Right. Cause the other thing that's confusing to me is this isn't preceded by any. Like, he's been texting me trying to get back together. Or, you know, he's. He's texted me as if things were normal before. He's shown up at blah blah, blah. Like, this isn't like over the last seven months he's been trying to keep that relationship still going. It's like out of nowhere he's posting this. So that's why it feels kind of performative in a Sense.

[Morgan]

It does feel. Performative is a really good word for this. Yeah.

[Tess]

And, yeah, maybe that is it. Maybe it's about these Discord people. Maybe he's trying to be like, well, I have a girlfriend. Anyway, Maybe he was rejected and everyone knows it on Discord. And he's like, well, I'm fine. I've still got. I've still got somebody. I don't know either way, hopefully it's more like that because that makes it less of a threat to her, I feel.

[Morgan]

True.

[Tess]

It's like, okay, my ex is crazy and he's not succeeding at finding women after we've broken up. But I don't know.

[Morgan]

I don't know either. It's really weird, though.

[Tess]

So let us know.

[Morgan]

I know. Keep us posted on this. I. I would respond, knowing me, I'd be like, yeah, hey, curious about this. We're not together, right? Like, can you take this down? Like, I wouldn't want that up there, even.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, you can tell your friends and everyone will know and you can kind of clear the air. But at the same time, like, I also wouldn't necessarily want that out there. I'd be like, what. What's going on? Why. Why are you posting this?

[Tess]

Like, why did you say that?

[Morgan]

And then you can also figure out if there is a threat, right? Like, is he going through a mental health crisis? Is he delusional? Could he show up? Like, could something bad happen? Or, like, is he just trying to look like he's got game?

[Tess]

Right. Or did he lose a bet? Did he. Did he get dared? Like, did he.

[Morgan]

Oh, yeah, you know, like, I don't know.

[Tess]

I'm trying to think of any other.

[Morgan]

Possible reason, but that's a really good point.

[Tess]

So weird.

[Morgan]

Beyond.

[Tess]

I hope she asks him and then tells us.

[Morgan]

That's what I need. I need to know how this played out. Let me see if there is an update. So, top comment on the post. Not going to lie. That is fucking weird. Yeah, that's unhinged behavior. Says the next comment. You can't celebrate an anniversary with someone who's not even in the relationship anymore. Good on you for keeping it classy. He's clearly doing enough. Embarrassing for the both of you. Someone goes exactly an anniversary with who? You can't be in a relationship by yourself, buddy. It's called daydreaming, not dating. I'm not seeing any comments. No update to the post. So please let us know.

[Tess]

Mark yourself safe for us, please.

[Morgan]

I know it's very, very odd because.

[Tess]

There'S such a spectrum of possibilities here. Like, the least concerning being like, this was some dare or this was like, I don't know, lost a bet. I don't know. Worst is he is having delusions that he's still with you and could get violent.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Keep us posted, please. And I don't know, definitely a unique experience. Like, usually it's not getting pictures posted of you once you've broken up.

[Tess]

Like, right.

[Morgan]

I just, I don't know. I've heard of like, unless you're still friends and hanging out. Yeah, like, that's so different. But you're broken up and he's posting for your anniversary. Like, what? What's happening?

[Tess]

Yeah, I've heard of like, trying to get someone back and posting like, I miss you. Like, like crazy. You know, Like Facebook posts of I miss what we had, but not. Not pretending that you're still together. That's where it's like, what is going on here?

[Morgan]

Yeah, it's a bit perplexing.

[Tess]

It is a bit perplexing. Baffling. I'm confuddled by it. Yeah, befuddled even.

[Morgan]

Yeah, so am I by this next one.

[Tess]

Is it befuddling?

[Morgan]

That's a big word. Is it beefuddling?

[Tess]

Befuddling could be a theme.

[Morgan]

Befuddling. Dating can be scary. Befuddling. Voyage into the unknown. Confusing or perplexing. Befuddling.

[Tess]

I'm befuddled.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Spotify Portal for Backstage. But you're wondering what's Portal? Well, it's an internal developer portal built to improve developer experience and boost productivity. All software components are centralized. Documentation is automated and easy to maintain. New projects and components just a few clicks. With your best practices already built in, think less friction, more innovation. Ready to double your productivity? Try Spotify portal@backstage Spotify.com. so this is coming from our friend Charlotte Dobre's page. It is titled am I overreacting for throwing out all of our soap after finding out how my boyfriend actually washes himself?

[Tess]

Now I'm scared.

[Morgan]

So I, 26, female, don't even know how to start this without gagging. This happened earlier this week, and I'm still going through waves of disgust and disbelief. My boyfriend, 28, male, and I have been together for about a year now. We recently moved in together about three months ago. Before that, we'd spend weekends together, but I never really paid much attention to how he showered. I guess I just assumed he was like everyone else. Soap, loofah, washcloth, maybe body wash, maybe even one of those fancy shower puffs. You know, normal hygiene.

[Tess]

I'm so scared.

[Morgan]

But oh, how wrong I was. So around this Monday, he had been feeling sick the night before. Some bad food, he said. I woke up to him rushing to the bathroom. Poor guy had a bad case of diarrhea. No big deal. He took a shower afterwards, and I didn't think twice about it. I had showered earlier that morning, and by the time he was done, I was already half asleep. So I didn't go in there again. The next morning, I got up to take my shower. I pick up our shared bar of soap and saw Boo Boo chunks on it. His boo Boo chunks on it.

[Tess]

This is actually worse than I meant, than I imagined it could be.

[Morgan]

I gagged so hard I almost threw up. I dropped the soap, immediately turned off the water, and just stood there, trying to process what the hell I was looking at. When I finally called him over, I asked him what the hell happened to the soap. He looked confused. I explained what I saw, and he goes, quote, oh, yeah, I took a shower last night after I went to the bathroom. I probably didn't rinse the soap off right? Dude. What? And then that's when I learned something that made me question everything about this man. He doesn't use a washcloth or a loofah or a body brush or even his hands in a lathering way. He literally takes the bar of soap, wets it, wets himself with the shower hose, and rubs the bar directly all over his body from head to toe, including his armpits, his dick, his ass. And apparently after having diarrhea, I didn't even know what to say. I just stood there, horrified, replaying every single time I'd use that damn bar of soap on my own loofah or washcloth. So the next day, my first thought was to throw away every bar of soap we had and both have shared, leaving just my body washes in the shower. When he saw me doing this, he got defensive. He asked why I was overreacting and said I was making a big deal out of nothing. I told him I wasn't comfortable sharing soap anymore because now That I know what he's been doing. It's just nasty. I didn't shame him. I just said I didn't realize that's how you washed. And I can't share a bar like that again. He got quiet and said, so you think I'm dirty? I told him, no, I think the.

[Tess]

Shit that you put on our soap is dirty. I think the shit that I can see on our soap might be.

[Morgan]

I told him no, but that his method is unsanitary. Which, I mean, come on, it's objectively gross. Especially if you're using the same bar that touches your butthole in private parts. Then it sits there collecting whatever didn't rinse off. Like, the poop chunks. He didn't storm out, and a few hours later, I got a call from his sister asking me why I embarrassed him and made him feel like a disgusting person. Apparently, he told his family about it. His mom texted me something like, men have been using bars of soap for generations.

[Tess]

What?

[Morgan]

You're making it sound filthy.

[Tess]

Why is this becoming, like, a traditional like this?

[Morgan]

Like, am I insane for thinking this is different, though? Like, yes, people use bar soap, but most people don't literally rub it between their cheeks and then put it back for someone else to use. Now he's been giving me the cold shoulder, and his family thinks I'm some germ obsessed neat freak who humiliated him over a piece of soap. So for second opinions, am I overreacting?

[Tess]

This made me physically ill, Morgan. I already feared what this situation could be from the title, and it was so much worse somehow. Like, this is a health hazard. She could have gotten some kind of, like, pink eye. Yeah, like a bacterial infection. Pink eye.

[Morgan]

And, like, yeah, like, also, he has food poisoning. That's why the diarrhea is there. Like, you are sick, sir, and you use that bar of soap as a douche. He was douching his asshole with the bar of soap.

[Tess]

So, like, I don't feel okay. I don't feel okay. Like, this isn't okay.

[Morgan]

The fact that there were chunks on that.

[Tess]

No chunks.

[Morgan]

No.

[Tess]

She can only ever, while she's dating him, use body wash now with a sense of peace.

[Morgan]

Like, I body wash with a pump.

[Tess]

I would. Yeah, I would immediately feel like I need to bleach my entire body. Like, I don't know how. Like, this would make me feel very.

[Morgan]

Ill. Like, I'm trying to think, okay, movies. Like, in movies, in things. Like, I've taken a personal bar of my soap and I've, like, took the soap bar on my armpits before.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I would never put that soap bar up my ass. And it's not so you're dirty. Dirty ass I ever shared. Granted, armpits are gross too.

[Tess]

So I don't know.

[Morgan]

Like, I'm like, is this a thing? Is this a common way to use the bar of soap? Cause, like, does the soap kill germs as it sits there? Because it is soap. Can soap grow germs like a petri dish? Or does soap kill germs? Like, do we have to be this scared? But it's the fact that this bar of soap is shared. Yeah, it's a shared bar of soap.

[Tess]

And there's visible shit on it.

[Morgan]

And there's visible shit on it.

[Tess]

Like, how do you get past that?

[Morgan]

You didn't look after you stuck that bar of soap in between your ass cheeks, you didn't look. You didn't give it a. Like a good wash, a rinse. Like, okay, you're going to rub that soap on your armpits, but then give the soap bar a wash. You know what I mean?

[Tess]

I think even if someone does sometimes use a bar of soap directly on their skin, it is common sense to not put it between your butt cheeks.

[Morgan]

That. Because even if it's a genitals, that's like, really amplifying this.

[Tess]

Yes. And even if it's a personal soap bar, you wouldn't even want that for yourself. You'd be like, oh, I shouldn't probably put my soap on. On some shit and then just like, use it for the rest of my body again the next day. Like, even if he's not sharing it, like, I think you still in your head, you're like, I'm not gonna do it like that. Also.

[Morgan]

Right. Maybe this is an issue because didn't he wipe his butt after pooping on the toilet? Or did he just go from diarrhea?

[Tess]

That's what. I don't know.

[Morgan]

Shower.

[Tess]

That's my fear, Morgan. That's what I'm really scared of.

[Morgan]

Why are there chunks still? Like, why didn't you at least give, like, a one wipe so you're not dripping as you walk to the shower? Like, I feel okay. I, like, I understand, too, feeling embarrassed and like, I don't know.

[Tess]

Yeah, but sometimes you do something that just is embarrassing.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean, Justin's caught me picking my nose here and there. Like, if you're not picking your nose, you're lying about picking your nose. Let's be real. Like, there's some things you just can't get with a tissue.

[Tess]

Not the same thing, Morgan.

[Morgan]

But I know what it's like when he's like. Like when he called me out or whatever, and he's like, did you just pick your note? I'm like, you weren't supposed to see that. But, like, that feeling of embarrassed or feeling gross, and maybe this is something he's dealt with before. But, like, okay, let's address it between the two of you. The fact.

[Tess]

Family.

[Morgan]

You're crying to your whole family. And what did you tell your family? Did you tell them you left shit chunks on our soap? Yeah.

[Tess]

And like, yes, she's throwing them out. Like, sorry, get new soap. This isn't this, like, oppressive act toward you? She's throwing out the soap that she found covered in shit. I don't know what else she was supposed to do.

[Morgan]

You can go to the dollar store, the 99 cent store, the Dollar General. You can go many places and get new soap. I don't care.

[Tess]

Like, men have been using bars of soap for generations.

[Morgan]

It's weird. It's weird. You're not overreacting. This is gross.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I think.

[Tess]

I also don't think she said anything, like, mean to him.

[Morgan]

No, I think she was shocked.

[Tess]

It was like, what? Like. Like, what have. What have we been living in? Like, what's been going on?

[Morgan]

I think anyone would freak out if they walked into their bathroom and went to go shower and get clean and there was poop all over their soap. Yeah. That's a normal reaction.

[Tess]

And, like, I can't see without my contacts in, and I don't shower with my contacts in. So, like, I. Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

That would be a really bad surprise.

[Tess]

I wouldn't know right away. Like, I don't want to think about it anymore. It's bad. What are the comments?

[Morgan]

Yeah, top comment since he brought his family into this, then there is no reason why you can't absolutely be truly honest. The problem isn't that he uses the bar on his bare body. It's the fact that he uses the bar of soap directly onto his rectum to clean off diarrhea. And that left chunks of poop on the bar soap. That is the issue.

[Tess]

Yep. And he thinks that that's normal. Annie thinks that that's fine. So that means it's a recurring thing. Yeah.

[Morgan]

You are gross. Like, it's not gross that you use the bar of soap on your body. It's gross that you left shit on the bar of soap.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Now tell that to his mom and sister since they wanted to confront you about his hurt feelings. And just so you know, not only is he disgusting, leaving the poop on the bar of soap, but he is immature and runs to mommy and his sister to cry about his hurt feelings. Those two points are very unattractive in a man. And I definitely couldn't see myself being with someone like that long term.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And that's the. That's, like, what I was, like, really trying to get at here. It's like, this maybe wouldn't have been such a big deal. And I get being defensive. You can be defensive and be hurt and be embarrassed and whatever, but the fact that you took this problem and you ran to outside sources and involved them in it and then had those sources come back and chirp at me and try to make you look bad. I'm the bad person. I'm not the bad person here, babe.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

This is all over just a bar of soap. It's easily rectified. Hey, you didn't know. You didn't know that you shouldn't wash that way.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

By the way, loofahs are also disgusting.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Loofahs harbor bacteria. I don't think a loofah is any better than just using the bar of soap. But I think there's a way that you could have cleaned without degrading the bar of soap that we shared. However, not an issue. We'll throw it away. We'll get new soap. This is how you should operate going forward.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.

[Tess]

Get a bidet.

[Morgan]

I was surprised by the poop on the soap. Yeah.

[Tess]

Get a bidet. Am I right?

[Morgan]

Yeah. Hey, a bidet. A shataffa.

[Tess]

That would do a lot for them.

[Morgan]

Whatever you're feeling.

[Tess]

He would probably like that because he seems to like this, like, you know, not like the dry cleaning method so much. He seems to, like, go in the wet cleaning method.

[Morgan]

I just. The fact that he had that big of chunks, like, what. What are we doing? What are we doing? Did we not wipe? We did not wipe. That is. That is what we're doing. We did not wipe.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

We did not wipe.

[Tess]

I can hardly stand it, I'll tell you that.

[Morgan]

It's gross. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from R. Am I overreacting? It is titled, Am I overreacting for getting pissed that Someone had sex in my truck. Truck at the dealership. I'll make this short, but I can always add more as this is a long story. My new truck developed a leak just under 12k miles. So I scheduled an appointment at the dealership. After three weeks, I get it back with a horrible smell inside with a driver's seat that clearly has ass cheek stains. Not swamp ass as it has been cold here. My interior door is scratched, probably from a wedding ring. There is a stain on the seat that looks like the woman enjoyed herself. There is a stain on the floor. There is a shoe print on my headliner makeup on the visor and headliner deep finger indents on a solid visor. I also found a hair tie and a hair clip in my console that is definitely not mine. The dealership refused to take any accountability and blamed me for the condition even though it was not like this when I dropped it off. My windows are blacked out as well. I should add that I'm single and I work from home, so there is a 0% chance it's from me or a cheating partner. After I brought it to the dealer's attention, they cleaned it but did a poor job. So I had to clean it again by a professional. Am I overreacting?

[Tess]

First of all, those people went crazy. Good for them. It sounds like they had fun. Oh my God. All the details of like the positions and the indents and the wedding ring scratch. Like, oh my God, they went. They went at it.

[Morgan]

This is on a porn site somewhere.

[Tess]

This. Yeah. He could find the evidence probably if he searches hard enough, but I wouldn't recommend it. You're gonna see a lot of shit like that. No, that is disgusting. That should have been taken more seriously by the dealership. And like, I don't understand how they could like dismiss it so easily. Like that needs a serious clean job. That doesn't.

[Morgan]

Disgusting.

[Tess]

You can't just like kind of wipe it. Wipe it off a little bit.

[Morgan]

No. And the fact he's noticing all of this because of a horrible all caps smell.

[Tess]

Oh God, I forgot that part.

[Morgan]

Yeah, there's probably a used condom somewhere lost in there down the crack in between the seat and the console.

[Tess]

And they should take it seriously because it's like, this could be a repeated employee problem that you have. Like, you need to do some internal investigations. Like, this isn't okay behavior.

[Morgan]

This is gross. I feel like that's one thing. Like, like, and I get. People don't want to get sued. People don't want to lose money. So it really like has become this deny, gaslight, gatekeep. Like it has kind of become that attitude with customer service.

[Tess]

Like you don't want to fully cop to it.

[Morgan]

Yeah, like, no. No one did anything. You Brought it to us like that.

[Tess]

We'll clean it because we are kind.

[Morgan]

We're so kind.

[Tess]

But we're not cleaning it because we admit that we did that.

[Morgan]

Exactly. And yeah, I just saw this post from a woman also on Reddit, and she was like, am I overreacting? Like, my dog got back from the groomers and, like, his teeth are knocked out. This lady was like, I took my dog to the same groomers he's been going to for five years, like, since he was a puppy. They told me that he bit the blow dryer, and so his teeth are loose. Now she ends up taking this dog to the vet. Its jaw is broke. And so she's like, they're clearly lying to me. And a bunch of people in the comments, like, one of which is a vet tech, think was like, oh, yeah, like, the dog probably fell off the table. Oh, my God. Hit its jaw and broke its jaw. Like, that's the force needed. They're lying to you. And it's like. Because, like, be honest.

[Tess]

Biting something is gonna break its jaw. Like, dogs are always biting things. They're biting bones.

[Morgan]

Honest. Because if that woman would have believed you and gone home, that dog. That dog would have been living with a broken jaw.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

In pain.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, this dog needs. Needs medical care. Don't lie. Like, yeah, these businesses have insurance for a reason. Your insurance is going to cover an accident. Will your insurance go up? Yeah. But that is the risk you take running a business. And maybe not paying attention to the dog as you should have, maybe not ensuring that dog's safety. That is your fault, though.

[Tess]

Yeah. And I feel.

[Morgan]

Lie.

[Tess]

I do feel like, obviously there are going to be some cases where people get you. Like, they hear you admit something and they take it all the way. But that I think, in general, where businesses get, like, bad reviews and bad reputations is if they don't actually handle concerns seriously. Yeah. And they try to, like, avoid and pretend it wasn't their fault and kind of like, gaslight you about it. Because even if something happens, like employees have sex in your car, if they just fully say, I am so sorry. I don't know how this happened. We don't have any footage of this happening. But I understand why you feel like it must have happened here. We'll fully take care of any cleaning service. Like, like, there is such a way, like, people apprec. Appreciate that. And this whole, like, evasive thing, it, like, it doesn't build any trust. Like, that. That person's never gonna go back there.

[Morgan]

No. There's like, something that's going around too, on TikTok right now that's gone pretty viral, so maybe some of you have seen it, but it's this girl who, like, set her phone up outside of, like, a random shop, and she was trying to get, like, a video of her outfit. She's carrying a Duncan coffee cup. And the woman of the shop, it's like, it must be a coffee shop. Bakery is like, really? You're gonna take that video here with the Duncan in your hand? And the girl is like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Like, didn't cross my mind. Like, I'm so sorry. She goes in, buys a pastry because she doesn't need a coffee. She's got a coffee.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So she buys a pastry, and then the woman does not let her stay in that shop, kicks her out after buying the pastry because she has the Dunkin. We don't allow outside beverages. And it's like, she just came in your store.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And gave you business. She realized she might have been being a little rude, which. She was on a fucking sidewalk. Like, get real.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But she realized maybe, hey, maybe I shouldn't have done that. Went inside, bought something, and then you kicked her out.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So the girl made a video about it, obviously, and the lady's like, oh, my God. Freaking out. And it's like, that's just not how you treat people.

[Tess]

No.

[Morgan]

Who cares if she's got a Duncan?

[Tess]

Initially, I was like, did the lady think that she was, like, making some kind of dish, this video by being like, ooh, like, my Duncan is so much better?

[Morgan]

No, she literally went in and tried to support.

[Tess]

Yeah, No, I. Yeah, it's like a small little cafe.

[Morgan]

Like, if you would have played that cool. Like, if you would have been like, hey, my coffee's better than Dunkin. Come on in and try some. Yeah, you would have looked great.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Who doesn't love free coffee? But customer service, like, it needs a kick in the butt, I think.

[Tess]

Yeah. It's tough.

[Morgan]

And it's like, necessarily the people. It's like, it's the companies. The companies aren't getting it.

[Tess]

And I. Yeah. What was the original? Oh, Sex in the Car.

[Morgan]

Yeah. We do get an update. Oh, we get some updates on this one.

[Tess]

Wait, no way.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Brief update. Called the police. They won't take a police report as it's a civil matter. All they could do was document that. I called. This happened at redacted in Surprise, Arizona, 85388. And another Reddit member told me my one star review is already gone from their Google reviews.

[Tess]

Oh, my God. Which.

[Morgan]

Which I don't feel like people should.

[Tess]

Be able to do that. It shouldn't. It's. It's actually really hard to like. I don't know, even sometimes fake bad reviews can be hard to remove.

[Morgan]

I know, it's crazy. The general manager called me today, which was useless. He wanted to know if the other manager called me, which he did. They're both passing off responsibility on each other. I called corporate this past Saturday and issued a complaint, but I was advised not to expect anything out of it as that falls on deaf ears. I will be taking to social media and uploading video, pictures and audio recordings taken while dealing with this terrible business. Apparently OP did post pictures.

[Tess]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

So we have some pictures.

[Tess]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

So here's the seat.

[Tess]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

Like it.

[Tess]

Honestly, that looks like a.

[Morgan]

It looks like someone had a yeast infection. And like there. It's like. It's like chalky residue on their seat. Wait.

[Tess]

Yeah. Why does it look like.

[Morgan]

Like that? I think that's what he's calling the axe.

[Tess]

I swear you could have sex in a car and get away with it.

[Morgan]

There's like full blown jizz.

[Tess]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Yeah. That's like jizz.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

All over his floor mat.

[Tess]

Oh, my God. Is that blood?

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. Look at the hand prints. These are like fucking crazy. Hand creases. Like this person was like gripping like they were hanging off a cliff.

[Tess]

Yeah. There's no way that you wouldn't have seen that. That looks like.

[Morgan]

I think there's blood, so. Or lipstick. Yeah. Maybe she was on her period or there's lipstick like on the visor on the roof of the car. Like it is pretty bad when you look at the pictures, actually.

[Tess]

Oh, my God. And if they. I feel like if the car company had been more like forthcoming and no issue kind about it, it wouldn't have gone to like, the places it's going now.

[Morgan]

No issue.

[Tess]

I was gonna say, like, with the Google remove Google review removing thing, they will remove any review that has, like profanity in it. So I don't know if like it mentioned the sex or anything like that and it just automatically gets flagged by Google for that. Maybe there's like certain things you have to be careful of.

[Morgan]

I know that's true.

[Tess]

Or if it like defames certain individuals at the company. Yeah.

[Morgan]

The thing is though, too, like, the dealership should have handled this because, like, if that is blood, that's a biohazard. Yeah, that's a biohazard like that's disgusting.

[Tess]

Being kind goes a long way.

[Morgan]

So we get another update.

[Tess]

No way.

[Morgan]

Six days ago I posted about my bizarre situation. After reading a majority of the comments here as well as social media, I dug deeper into finding reviews on this dealership. There were hundreds of negative feedback across multiple sites, but damage to customers, vehicles and or financial fraud by padding, loans without customers consent or knowledge and other shady things.

[Tess]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

The day after making my post, the sales manager at the dealership called me to basically tell me it's the general manager's responsibility. So this call was pointless. The following day the general manager calls me and basically tells me it's the sales manager's responsibility but he will call me back tomorrow or the following day. Neither manager ever called me back back. Yesterday I filed a complaint with bbb, Better Business Bureau and with the Attorney General with my story. Today someone from the dealership called believe it's customer relations and they told me they received my complaint from the Attorney General and they would like to fix the damaged items in my truck.

[Tess]

Oh, now you do.

[Morgan]

I told him I need a new driver's seat, a new rear seat cover, new visor and a new door panel on my driver's door. He said that's fine and I can bring it in.

[Tess]

Yeah, because you're scared now.

[Morgan]

I kindly replied that there is absolutely no way I'll be back at their dealership. So he told me they contract with a third party company that comes to the customer's homes to do the repairs. I agreed to that and now I'm waiting on the third party repair company to call me to schedule it. I'm hoping all goes well, but honestly I'm not holding my breath. He also said they can reverse the thousands of dollars of add ons that I never agreed to. If my electronic signature is attached, I wouldn't know because they still have never given me copies of me asking for nine months. There's definitely going to be at least one more update regardless of what happens with the repairs. Thank you for the suggestions. It's given me the motivation and knowledge to get results and then included more pictures of the truck seats which same ones we saw already. This is like the scratches on the back seat.

[Tess]

Oh my God. Like guys, these are like, like very obvious scratch marks. Like these are deep scratch marks.

[Morgan]

I've never even seen that from like an animal. Like to be honest, like I'm actually very curious.

[Tess]

Almost like when they were having sex they were getting off on the fact.

[Morgan]

It would Be obvious that they had sex there.

[Tess]

Yeah, like that was part of the enjoyment for them.

[Morgan]

Yeah. No, they definitely wanted to leave their mark. So we have another update. There's a lot of updates on this one. I did not know until we we got here 10 days ago. I posted the first update, a correction last update. It was not the customer service relations that called me. It was a senior partner at the dealership. He told me that the seats, door panels and visor would be replaced. Shortly after posting that update, I received multiple calls from multiple employees saying that replacement was never discussed and that they will clean it up. That I misunderstood the senior partner. I recorded the call and I certainly did not misunderstand. The general manager has been calling me every couple of days telling me their third party repair company will be contacting me to clean my truck. I've consistently said I'm not in need of a cleaning. That cleaning it will not remove the damage. In one of the calls with the GM he suggested swapping my truck to a new one and I accepted the offer. Shortly after the salespeople called me wanting to do a trade in which will cost me thousands of dollars on a loss on my new truck. So obviously I refused. The GM implied it was a simple swap, not a typical trade in where they profit selling two vehicles.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yesterday I got a call from the third party company and sent pictures of the issue. He confirmed the seat can not be repaired and must be replaced as well as the visor and door panel. He informed me that he will tell the GM and I should expect him to call me. Still waiting.

[Tess]

This would piss me off because now this goes beyond just repairing the things that you broke because it's taking so much time, it's taking so much work.

[Morgan]

And that's a full time job.

[Tess]

Like you need to actually compensate me above and beyond the damage that you've done.

[Morgan]

Now it's my time and it could be a biohazard.

[Tess]

Like it's like what am I being exposed to? Yeah, this looks like blood.

[Morgan]

It's disgusting. There's the jizz on the rug. You guys like just wait. Great. I received a response from the dealership on BBB saying they are working it out with me. They are not working anything out. They're just wasting my time. Call me every couple of days trying to get me to agree to a simple cleaning. I'll give it until Tuesday for action. Then I'll be taking the next steps to make this a legal issue. New update.

[Tess]

Wow.

[Morgan]

So this new update is coming from this past June three Months after the original post. So I bought a new Ford Maverick in Surprise, Arizona, 85388 at the only Ford dealership in town. So if you're out there listening, wow. I think it's very clear which one it is. I was extremely adamant about not having a Service Plan or LoJack. No add ons, no extras, no upgrades whatsoever, except a factory added tow hitch. First red flag was when it eventually came in six months later, the dealer tried to charge me an absurd amount for dealer add ons that weren't even on the truck. So obviously I refused that and they did me a favor and took off the cost. Next up in finance, I was repeatedly adamant about no service plan and no LoJack. It was nowhere in any of the forms I signed and I read every word. I was in there for hours and they were annoyed with me. So they said that neither will be on my loan and they'll email me the electronic copies. I never received them. I get my loan paperwork in the mail weeks later and I was shocked to see nearly 4,000 more than what I had signed for.

[Tess]

Oh my God, this company.

[Morgan]

It took months and a dozens of calls to the dealer but they refunded a majority of the service plan and they promised the LoJack would follow but never did. Here we are a year later. I've reported them to the Attorney General, BBB corporate, with zero results. They no longer take my calls or respond. They did eventually send my electronic forms a year later and they absolutely transferred my signature twice without my knowledge or consent. Fraud. There is zero chance I signed these forms. I'm not the only one that has had fraudulent add ons in Surprise, Arizona. If you did also message me, I may be taking legal action. A small update on the damages to my truck. While it was in for warranty work. They refused to take accountability. But I've heard from dozens of other people that they had bizarre unexplainable damages to their vehicle as well while it was in for service. I'm compiling evidence that this has been happening for years. I have audio recorded every single interaction with this company from the beginning. They are in such a deep hole. And there is indisputable evidence of financial fraud not just on my loan, but on others that I've spoken with as well.

[Tess]

Sue em.

[Morgan]

Sue them. That is insane.

[Sponsor Voice]

This company.

[Tess]

How are they getting away with this for so long? Oh my God.

[Morgan]

Unreal. Unreal.

[Tess]

And it's crazy because they would like probably just keep getting away with this if they didn't do things that were so obvious. Like unavoidably obvious. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I am shocked by this. Ford used to be like synonymous with like a good deal, good value, good car. But like to go in and then like you're trying to get yourself in an affordable car and then you get a surprise four thousand dollar add on.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Fraud. That's just their con artist. Like that is insane.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It's really, really slimy.

[Tess]

Yeah. And like not sending like the paperwork that you've signed and being like, oh, that guy didn't say this and that guy didn't say that. It's like, I hope that this, that this blows up on social media because that seems to be sometimes the only thing that people take seriously.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Tess]

Completely unique experience.

[Morgan]

Quite odd. Yeah. I wonder how many people have had that happen to them in their car at the dealership. Clearly a few at that dealership.

[Tess]

But I don't know if they've had the like sex, like the scratch marks and the jizz and the blood and the indents and the. Oh my God.

[Morgan]

I can, I know. I can't wait till you guys see these pictures. They're pretty.

[Tess]

They're pretty damning.

[Morgan]

They're pretty.

[Tess]

As far as evidence goes, like, that is some evidence.

[Morgan]

Well, and the fact he's already had that clean. Those are pictures like. Oh, yeah, like the thing. Well, those are probably taken before it was cleaned.

[Tess]

But even the scratch marks and stuff. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like the third party being like, yeah, no, we can't repair that. Like it's replace only.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like that's still there then.

[Tess]

And even if you clean it, it's like how deep of the cleaning can you really get at the end of the day?

[Morgan]

Well, yeah, you can't. And if like the foam was crushed or torn, like that's damage to the foam or whatever material the seats and stuff's made out of. But that's just like so disheartening to like you spend your hard earned money on this brand new vehicle and then by no fault of your own, it's extremely damaged.

[Tess]

Yeah. Which should be such an exciting experience.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Tess]

Really cool.

[Morgan]

And I know.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It's so sad when people are like, like just so rude about your property too. Like, have you ever been in your car when someone doors you?

[Tess]

I don't know.

[Morgan]

Oh my God. I was at, I don't even remember where, like Nordstrom Rack or somewhere shopping. I'm sitting in my car, like getting ready to go out or I just gotten back in my car. Dude in a white Tesla, rolls up, whips his door into the side of my car and I'm in there and I rolled out my window and I was like, are you fucking serious?

[Tess]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

I literally like, I just instant rage.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I'm like, are you fucking serious? And he just goes, sorry and walks away.

[Tess]

Well, give me your insurance, asshole.

[Morgan]

Oh my God, are you fucking kidding me?

[Tess]

I've been like. I had someone back into me and it was like. I honestly think it was like 18 year olds and they were like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I was like, it's fine. And I drove away because my car is like so beat up that I was like, I'm not gonna ruin their day over this.

[Morgan]

God. I know. I had a person rear end me and it just was like too much for me to deal with. And it was like a tiny bumper dent scratch. And I'm just like, I can't.

[Tess]

My bumper is already so messed up.

[Morgan]

That I was just like, that was my old car. I'm just like, but, but if I.

[Tess]

Had a new drive, best believe I would be like, hey, give me your insurance.

[Morgan]

Give me your insurance. Okay, moving on. We've got another one that's quite interesting. I think you're gonna get a kick out of.

[Tess]

Yeah, I get kicks.

[Morgan]

Hi, it's Eva Longoria. And let's be real. After 40, we should ask for more from our skincare. I swear by Revitalift triple power moisturizer by l' Oreal Paris. With vitamin C pro, retinol and hyaluronic acid. It reduces my wrinkles, firms and brightens. And it's not a procedure, it's just a hard working moisturizer. Revitalift triple power moisturizer by l' Oreal Paris. Grab it today in fragrance, free or with SPF 30. Available at your local Walmart.

[Tess]

So good, so good, so good. Score.

[Sponsor Voice]

Holiday gifts. Everyone wants for way less at your Nordstrom rack. Save on Ugg, Nike, Rag and Bone, Vince Frame, Kurt Geiger, London and more.

[Morgan]

Cause there's always something new.

[Sponsor Voice]

I'm giving all the gifts this year.

[Morgan]

With that extra 5% off when I use my Nordstrom credit card.

[Sponsor Voice]

Santa who join the Nordy Club at Nordstrom Rack to unlock our best deals. It's easy. Big gifts, big perks. That's why you rack.

[Morgan]

I'm gonna give you a choice. Okay.

[Tess]

Ooh. Okay.

[Morgan]

Option one. Bride uninvited half the guest list two weeks before the wedding because her psychic said the energy was too crowded.

[Tess]

Yes, that one. That one.

[Morgan]

Are you sure?

[Tess]

Okay, well tell me the other one. Is. But I'm really into that one.

[Morgan]

Or my brother in law invited me and my husband to an orgy that's really compelling too.

[Tess]

But I think the psychic, like, that's. I think I'm into the psychic thing right now.

[Morgan]

The psychic.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Tess]

Sorry, guys. I feel like they're gonna want the other one.

[Morgan]

It'll be on Patreon. It'll be on Patreon. I'll give it to you next on Patreon. Perfect. That's how.

[Tess]

Well, perfect.

[Morgan]

We'll remedy that one. Okay, so this is coming from r. Wedding shaming. Five days old. Bride invited half the guest list two weeks before the wedding because her psychic said the energy was too crowded. I'm still processing this. The wedding was supposed to be this Saturday in Asheville. Was supposed to be. My cousin Vanessa has always been into spiritual stuff. Crystals, tarot, astrology, whatever. Fine. Not my thing. But you do you. But about six months ago, she started seeing this spiritual advisor who she treats like a therapist, life coach, oracle, all rolled into one. The wedding planning has been pretty normal up until last week. 200 people invited, venue booked, catering confirmed. I'm a bridesmaid, so I've been somewhat involved in the planning. Last Tuesday, Vanessa sends out a group text to the bridesmaids saying we need to have an emergency call. We get on zoom and she tells us that she had a session with her psychic. And the psychic told her that having over 80 people at the wedding would disrupt the spiritual alignment of the union and create energetic blocks in the marriage. She said she and her fiance Matt decided to cut the guest list down to 75 people two weeks before the wedding. We all kind of sat there in silence. Finally, one of the other bridesmaids asked how they were deciding who to uninvite. And Vanessa said the psychic helped her create an energy compatibility chart for all of the guests. Anyone who wasn't in alignment with their vibrational frequency got cut. This included Matt's entire extended family, except his parents, most of Vanessa's coworkers, and about half of our family, including my parents. My parents who already bought plane tickets and booked a hotel. Yeah, it's two weeks before she sent out a mass email that night. Not even individual messages, just a group email that said something like, after deep spiritual consultation, we've decided to honor our authentic, authentic truth by creating a more intimate ceremony.

[Tess]

No way.

[Morgan]

If you have received this email, it means your energy is not aligned with our sacred union at this time. Please respect our journey.

[Tess]

That's so crazy.

[Morgan]

People are losing their Minds. Matt's mom called my mom crying. Multiple people are demanding their gifts back. Matt's brother posted something on Facebook about it, and Vanessa's response was to post a quote about releasing toxic energy.

[Tess]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

Here's the kicker. I didn't get uninvited. I'm still a bridesmaid, but my parents aren't invited anymore. I asked Vanessa how that makes sense, and she said, your energy is evolved beyond your parents energy. It's not personal. I told her I'm not coming if my parents aren't invited, and she said, that's my choice, but I'm choosing fear over love. Then she asked if I'm still doing my bridesmaid duties this week because they need help setting up. The wedding is in four days. Last I heard, about 30 people have confirmed they're still coming. The venue won't refund them because it's too late. Matt seems completely checked out. His family is furious. And Vanessa keeps posting Instagram stories about honoring your truth even when others don't understand. I don't even know if this wedding is still happening at this point.

[Tess]

Have they joined a cult?

[Morgan]

This sounds like a cult.

[Tess]

Like already. I do think that there are.

[Morgan]

God.

[Tess]

I even, like, know someone who. I don't want to give too much away, but they were like seeing somebody for one thing, and then that person started giving them advice on like, food and advice on like this and that and like life things and. And it got to a place where it's like, why are you going to this person? Not a therapist, by the way. Like, like about all of these things. And they're like making the decisions about your life. And it's hard because I, like, want. I want to give people the freedom to like, believe in what they believe in. And like, if they're into a little bit of like a woo woo type thing, that's okay.

[Morgan]

But like, to this extent, no, this is absurd.

[Tess]

This is someone who's like taking advantage of you because obviously, like, this has not made your wedding better. This has ruined your wedding.

[Morgan]

It's ruined the whole thing. And like in relationships it's. It's hard to know because, like, some people do just like, deeply believe in stuff. And like, I believe in the power of psychics and I believe in, you know, certain woo woo things, but totally at the same time, I wouldn't let someone convince me, like, oh, all of these people are negative and you need to cut half them out and need to embrace people that are only on your frequency, blah, blah, blah, like at that point I'd be like, oh, yeah, no, this person is taking advantage of me. But, like, it does sound like a cult. People do get sucked into cults. Like, yeah, the other day, Kaylin was talking about Scientology and how, like, she accidentally, like, went through the courses and, like, literally paid for some of the courses. And.

[Tess]

Wait, how was it?

[Morgan]

Like, she's got.

[Tess]

She had to, like, disguise to something else.

[Morgan]

Yeah, she, like, got invited to hang out with a friend, and the friend was like, oh, you're already here. You want to go to this meeting with me? And it was a Scientology meeting. And so, like, like, I get when people can get into cults and, like, oh, totally. You kind of lose sight of, like, reality, but it's like, it's hard to tell. It's like, is it that. Is it a mental health crisis? Like, why is the fiance so okay with this? Because if Justin woke up one day and was like, oh, we need to cut half the guest list.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I'd be like, what's going on? Let alone, oh, this is two weeks before the wedding. Our money's gone, deposits have been paid. Everything's locked and loaded. Yeah, so what?

[Tess]

It's such a negative place to start a marriage off of. And, yeah, I mean, there are a lot of people, I think, who are susceptible to the kind of language that occult uses or, like. Like, oh, you're a special person. You're. And you're so much more evolved than all these other people. And, like, you should only be around xyz. And. And the reason that this hasn't worked out for you isn't your fault, but it's because of, like, these people not being like that. Obviously. That sounds nice. And, like, people who are, you know, either experiencing a hard time with something or having insecurities about something. Like, it sounds very good to hear that. And actually, you're such a special person. Like, who. Who doesn't, as a child, think that they're a special person?

[Morgan]

I don't know.

[Tess]

It's tough. And I don't, like, blame the people who end up in those situations, because I think it can happen to a lot of different people. It doesn't mean, like, oh, if that happens to you, you're stupid.

[Morgan]

No, no, I think it's. Honestly, I think the past couple years have really shown us how easy it is to fall into cults. And, like, yeah, cults are cults because they're good at marketing and they know what language is going to suck people in. So I do think you can fall into a culture way of thinking and still be a smart person. Like, it, It's. Yeah, it's.

[Tess]

It sucks though. It's because, like, what do you do as a family member or as like that bridesmaid?

[Morgan]

You don't go, hell no.

[Tess]

Yeah, hell no.

[Morgan]

We.

[Tess]

Then it's like, are you not giving them. Like, if they're getting. I guess we don't actually know that they're in a cult, but if they're getting like sucked into a situation where they need to still have people from their regular life to like, try to logic with them, like is just cutting them off. Like.

[Morgan]

I know. Cuz I think they say like, you shouldn't cut people off, especially in times of crisis. But crises. But this might be the wakeup call she needs because there hasn't really been a crazy thing like this.

[Tess]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So this might be the. Oh no. Your actions are going to have consequences. Enjoy your wedding.

[Tess]

Oh my God. Wait, I saw a tweet today. Let me make sure this is real and that I wasn't looking at POB base or something like that. Kim Kardashian expresses her frustration in new TikTok vlog over psychics who told her she would pass the California bar exam only to fail. But it's like, maybe it'll be a moment like that where it's like, okay, they clearly lied to me. Like, this isn't making my wedding better. But also this was so funny.

[Morgan]

Oh my God. Today I saw like, and this could be a rumor, but allegedly she used like chat GPT to study for the bar too. You, I think just like, girl, take out your book. She said that?

[Tess]

I think she actually said that she will ask Chat gbt like law questions. It's like, you are not gonna pass if you need to do that. Like, you should be the one knowing it. I don't know.

[Morgan]

I want to like, study the way she did. Where you just like study in your free time.

[Tess]

Yeah. With like a private team.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Like I. I've like thought about that. Like now that I'm not doing ot, like what other side quests can I kind of do? Like, that would just be interesting. I still want to take that civics class from Harvard with you. We talked about that. Yeah, I want to do that.

[Tess]

I like any kind of like archaeology type stuff. Like those are fun. Yeah. I've used it edX before. And that you can do a bunch of different like, Like Harvard does classes through them. Like all types of colleges do classes with them and a lot of them are free. And then if you Want to get a certificate in it? You pay for, like, the certificate version. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I just want to, like. I know being a lawyer is hard. I know the bar is hard. Like Alejandra studying for her lsat. Like, that was insane. I want to, like, just take one just to, like, see the vibe. Like, how bad?

[Tess]

Take a class or take the test.

[Morgan]

Just like, a little lsat. Just, like, how bad?

[Tess]

Just a little.

[Morgan]

Just, like, to see. I'm just, like, so curious what the questions are. Like, the logic games were so insane.

[Tess]

Interesting. I have no idea what it consists of besides, like, playing Elle woods and Legally Blonde, the musical my sophomore year of high school.

[Morgan]

Oh, that's a flex.

[Tess]

The closest I know.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Tess]

Elle woods, easy 175. I know. She got 175 in the musical.

[Morgan]

No, I just, like, I'm. I'm a little bored right now. I'm finding that I need a hobby.

[Tess]

Let's. We can do sewing.

[Morgan]

I know I did learn how to sew. Ish. Like, I can turn it on and press the pedal and do a straight line. So I need to, like, that's a huge starting point. Start going to some classes. Hobbies are really important, just not the law school route. I don't have to. I don't have time for that realistically. But I'm just curious about it.

[Tess]

Yeah, well, that's. I think that's beyond, like, a hobby.

[Morgan]

That's like, I know I don't need it.

[Tess]

Consume your life.

[Morgan]

I don't need it. I can read my basic contracts well enough, and then I have a lawyer, so I'm fine. I'm just so curious, like, you know, this. This little study on the side baby bar method. I'm just curious.

[Tess]

I do think she is, like, spending a lot of time on it. I just don't think it's the same as, like, full time going to school.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I know. Very different.

[Tess]

And clearly it's not working out for her.

[Morgan]

So no top comment on this one. Don't go to that wedding. Don't help she's crazy. Tell her that she is bad energy for you.

[Tess]

Ooh, that. Speak her language a little bit. Try to communicate with her in a way she understands. I actually think your vibrations have been low lately.

[Morgan]

I think something about your oracle, she's disrupting your energy and it's not putting out what people would like to receive.

[Tess]

I think I see a darkness coming out of your aura that wasn't there before.

[Morgan]

Maybe next comment down. And what kind of doormat allows his Entire family to be cut from the guest list.

[Tess]

Yes.

[Morgan]

His name was Matt.

[Tess]

Oh, Matt. You know what? There was a guy I was talking to named Matt, and he had me put. Put his name in my phone as not a doormat. Because I needed to hear that.

[Morgan]

I guess not a doormat. You needed to stand up for yourself. A little bit of comments, just people. Like, so she thinks you'd still want to show up and provide free labor when you have said you won't come to the wedding. That's a new level of entitlement. Like, basically, just like this. This gal has lost all sense of reality. I would love an update with this one. OP did delete the post. OP did delete their account.

[Tess]

I bet they found it and it's.

[Morgan]

Become like a family drama. Yeah, good old family drama.

[Tess]

Hard, because if you're someone's bridesmaid, like, you're very good friends. And if I had a friend go through this, I would be concerned about them. Like, obviously, there's the root of you're an asshole and you're being crazy, but it's also, like, are you in a situation where this, like, oracle person is taking advantage of you? Like, I. I would also do my best, best to try to reach them in a way about what's going on me, like, hey, I'm worried about you. Like, this can't be good. I don't know.

[Morgan]

Something's got to give. Otherwise, I mean, that guy's got to call it. Like, if she wants to live this spiritual life, then she can do it. But you're cutting off half your family for what? Like, for her delusions?

[Tess]

No, it sounds like he might also be kind of in it. Like, it said that they. They talked and they agreed on who they'd remove from the list. So I don't know. All of these have been incredible experiences. I don't think a single one of them is a unique experience that I'm jealous of. No, they all are completely unique experiences. And thank God for that. Can't tell which one I'd hate the most.

[Morgan]

Oh, God. I mean, I'm just, like. I'm mad by them all. Like, the car dealership one, the cat one, really set me off from the jump. That one was really brutal. All of them.

[Tess]

The anatomy textbook. Do you remember where we were when that happened? That was like a lifetime ago.

[Morgan]

It feels like ages ago.

[Tess]

Where were you when you first heard that story?

[Morgan]

I wish I didn't hear it. I wish I could unhear some of these, but that's all I got. You guys, we are headed over to Patreon with this very same theme. Some unique experiences. We've got some good ones. Again, just kind of crazy weird.

[Tess]

I really like the stories that we did on the bonus episode.

[Morgan]

I know they're really good. And one of these, obviously, that I teased is gonna go over there. So I'm gonna record that right now. But thank you so much for being here. Another episode and head over to Patreon. If you want more, there is a free story, one that I teased with Sal that's gonna be over there as a free story. So come on over and join us. But other than that, until next time, bye.