186: Simply so Weird.. Ft. Courtney Miller

Summary

Episode 186: "Simply so Weird.. Ft. Courtney Miller" – Detailed Summary

Release Date: October 10, 2024
Hosts: Morgan Absher and Courtney Miller
Podcast: Two Hot Takes

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Introduction

In Episode 186 of Two Hot Takes, titled “Simply so Weird.. Ft. Courtney Miller”, host Morgan Absher is joined by special guest Courtney Miller. Together, they delve into a series of intriguing and bizarre stories sourced from Reddit’s AITA (Am I the Asshole) subreddit. The episode focuses on unsettling relationship dilemmas, unexpected behaviors, and the complexities of interpersonal dynamics, providing listeners with both entertainment and insightful analysis.

Guest Introduction: Courtney Miller

Timestamp: [00:00] - [02:03]

The episode kicks off with a brief introduction of Courtney Miller, a multifaceted personality within the Smosh universe. Courtney is recognized for her diverse roles encompassing acting, writing, and producing, making her a valuable addition to the podcast. Morgan expresses admiration for Courtney’s versatility, noting:

Courtney Miller ([00:00] - [02:03]): "The Peloton instructors are in a league of their own... They are always fun. And you don't have to do it alone either."

AITA Story 1: Temu Engagement Ring Drama

Timestamp: [04:28] - [21:52]

Story Overview

The first story discusses a user's dilemma about her fiancé’s engagement ring purchased from TEMU, an online marketplace known for affordability. The user, a 27-year-old female, is upset upon discovering that her seemingly expensive engagement ring is sold for just $38 on TEMU. She confronts her fiancé, who reacts defensively by sleeping on the couch, leading her to question the relationship dynamics.

Key Points & Discussions

• Authenticity of the Ring: Courtney and Morgan debate the legitimacy and quality of TEMU’s rings, pondering whether the fiancé was unaware of TEMU’s reputation.

  Courtney Miller ([05:50] - [07:04]): "I'm mad. He makes good money, 200k a year, and I feel like he could have shelled out some money for a ring better than the one on TEMU."

• Communication Breakdown: The fiancé’s refusal to discuss the ring’s origin and his subsequent avoidance behavior raise red flags about their communication.

  Morgan ([16:19] - [17:13]): "But it's also a bummer that he wasn't willing to, like, talk about it."

• User’s Own Engagement Story: Courtney shares her own engagement experience, contrasting it with the AITA post to highlight the importance of transparent communication.

  Courtney Miller ([09:20] - [10:09]): "We had talked about it before... It was really, really cute."

• Community Feedback: The listeners provide perspectives suggesting the fiancé’s actions may indicate deeper issues, such as financial transparency or emotional availability.

  Morgan ([17:27] - [19:25]): "If you can't have a conversation about this peacefully... that's a little bit concerning for me."

Notable Quotes

• Courtney Miller: "If it's $38 that is breaking you guys up." ([19:29])
• Morgan: "It's $38 that is breaking you guys up." ([19:29])

AITA Story 2: Supervisor Meets Boyfriend

Timestamp: [28:51] - [35:54]

Story Overview

A high school science teacher discovers that her boyfriend, an OnlyFans model, is recognized by the school’s principal, leading to an HR meeting. The principal accuses her boyfriend of inappropriate online activities, forcing the teacher to confront the stigma associated with her partner’s profession and its impact on her career.

Key Points & Discussions

• Privacy vs. Professionalism: The discussion revolves around the balance between personal life and professional responsibilities, especially in conservative or religious work environments.

  Morgan ([32:35] - [32:53]): "It's very state dependent what workplace protections people have."

• Reputation Management: The teacher faces potential termination due to her boyfriend’s OnlyFans account, despite no direct involvement in his activities.

  Courtney Miller ([34:15] - [34:37]): "I think they're having regular creators come over now too."

• Legal and Ethical Implications: They consider the legalities of her employment contract and the ethical boundaries employers set regarding employees' associations.

  Morgan: "If you're with someone and they wanted something that's out of your budget or just not what you were willing to spend, you could offer up..."

• Community Advice: Listeners suggest actionable steps such as recording meetings, consulting employment attorneys, and maintaining clear boundaries between personal and professional lives.

  Morgan ([35:54] - [36:09]): "I know a lot of people do recommend recording the conversation too."

Notable Quotes

• Courtney Miller: "This is really bad communicating." ([19:23])
• Morgan: "If you're in their shoes, you need to protect yourself legally." ([35:54])

AITA Story 3: Public-Punched Wife

Timestamp: [46:15] - [56:39]

Story Overview

A 37-year-old male describes an incident where his eight-month-pregnant wife punched a stranger who tried to lift their six-year-old daughter by the armpits in a restaurant. He grapples with understanding her extreme reaction and the implications for their relationship and parenting.

Key Points & Discussions

• Violence in Response to Boundary Violations: The conversation examines the appropriateness of physical retaliation when personal boundaries are disrespected.

  Morgan ([48:18] - [50:44]): "Wear a lifeguard if you have a pool."

• Parental Responsibility: They discuss the husband's role in supporting his wife during and after the incident, emphasizing the importance of mutual responsibility in parenting.

  Morgan: "You should not have left her alone to handle that."

• Handling Aggressive Behavior: Strategies and emotional responses to dealing with unexpected aggressive actions in public settings are explored.

  Morgan ([50:57] - [53:10]): "Stand up, dude."

Notable Quotes

• Morgan: "Otherwise, you couldn't protect your family." ([50:44])
• Courtney Miller: "Just blown away by your story." ([54:38])

AITA Story 4: Falsely Staged Drug Intervention

Timestamp: [56:55] - [71:10]

Story Overview

A 26-year-old female shares her harrowing experience of her boyfriend, a psychologist, orchestrating a fake drug intervention to falsely label her as a drug addict. This manipulation leads to alienation from her family and friends, causing immense emotional distress and confusion.

Key Points & Discussions

• Manipulation and Control: The episode delves into the psychological manipulation tactics used by the boyfriend to isolate and control the user.

  Morgan ([62:42] - [62:46]): "Nothing's impossible."

• Impact on Personal Relationships: The destruction of trust and relationships with family members highlights the severe consequences of such deceitful actions.

  Courtney Miller ([65:12] - [65:19]): "That's why he's trying to do that."

• Red Flags in Relationships: Identifying early warning signs of manipulation and controlling behavior in relationships is emphasized.

  Morgan ([64:44] - [65:12]): "It's easy to be like, I found this page and you should know about this."

• Legal and Safety Concerns: They discuss the importance of seeking legal advice and taking protective measures when faced with manipulative partners.

  Courtney Miller: "Legal stuff is still the same when it's a private school." ([41:05])

Notable Quotes

• Morgan: "He could start a cult with that charisma." ([66:55])
• Courtney Miller: "I can't handle a marriage with someone like this." ([20:29])

AITA Story 5: Pool-Induced Family Tension

Timestamp: [97:41] - [86:44]

Story Overview

A 37-year-old female questions whether she is in the wrong for purchasing a home with a pool, which has triggered her mother-in-law's anxiety due to past family tragedies involving water-related accidents. Despite implementing safety measures, the mother-in-law remains distressed, creating tension within the family.

Key Points & Discussions

• Balancing Personal Desires and Family Concerns: The hosts explore the challenge of pursuing personal happiness while addressing family members' fears and traumas.

  Courtney Miller ([93:02] - [93:28]): "She's trying to be like, I want something to remember her by, but it's like you didn't care about her when she was here."

• Implementing Safety Precautions: The importance of proactive safety measures, such as installing gates and educating children, is highlighted to mitigate risks.

  Morgan ([104:07] - [105:09]): "You can hire a lifeguard for that."

• Emotional Trauma and Healing: They discuss the lingering effects of trauma on family members and the necessity of empathy and possibly professional help.

  Courtney Miller ([90:48] - [91:03]): "You need to break the cycle."

• Community Feedback: Listeners support the protagonist’s decision, emphasizing respect for her and the benefits for the community through charitable donations.

  Morgan: "Honor her wishes, period." ([90:18])

Notable Quotes

• Morgan: "Shut up, Jan. Shut up." ([43:17])
• Courtney Miller: "Am I the asshole for purchasing a home with a pool...?" ([97:59])

Conclusion

Throughout Episode 186, Morgan Absher and Courtney Miller navigate through a series of complex and emotionally charged AITA stories. Their discussions provide deep insights into human behavior, relationship dynamics, and the importance of communication and empathy. Courtney’s experiences and perspectives add valuable depth to the conversation, making the episode both engaging and thought-provoking for listeners.

Courtney Miller ([111:56] - [112:14]): "I just can't with this one. Am I the asshole for purchasing a home with a pool? No, absolutely not."

The episode wraps up with acknowledgments of the stories discussed and encouragement for listeners to engage with more exclusive content on Patreon and follow the podcast on social media platforms.

Notable Quotes Recap:

• Courtney Miller: "If it's $38 that is breaking you guys up." ([19:29])
• Morgan: "It's $38 that is breaking you guys up." ([19:29])
• Morgan: "He could start a cult with that charisma." ([66:55])
• Courtney Miller: "Shut up, Jan. Shut up." ([43:17])

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Connect with the Hosts

• Morgan Absher’s Instagram: @morgsyabsher
• Listen to Exclusive Stories on Patreon: Two Hot Takes Patreon
• Follow Along on Instagram: @TwoHotTakes
• YouTube Channel: Two Hot Takes YouTube

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of Episode 186, highlighting key discussions, emotional narratives, and the hosts' insightful commentary on each story. Whether you’re a longtime listener or new to the podcast, this episode offers a compelling exploration of the weird and wonderful aspects of relationships and personal interactions.

Transcript

[Courtney Miller]

One of this week's partners is Peloton. I'm sure you're familiar with Peloton and their amazing bike and workout classes, but did you know Peloton has a variety of training programs. Pilates, 5K, 10K, half and full marathon programs, strength training, boot camps. There are so many ways to challenge yourself no matter what mood you're in. Even for me, sometimes I'm not in a workout mood. But that is quickly changed by going on finding a good class on Peloton and. And being motivated by those instructors. Yeah, you've seen a video or two. Peloton's instructors are in a league of their own. They've got a whole lineup of dancers, college athletes, world record breakers that bring the motivation and fun. They are always fun. And you don't have to do it alone either. Peloton promotes a healthy rivalry and you see it all come to life on that leadership board. My brother and his wife have a Peloton bike, and being able to challenge each other and others has been so much fun for them. So find your push, find your power with [e-mail]. hi, friends. Subscribe or don't, but maybe come see us on tour. Enjoy the episode, guys. We're rolling. Audio's rolling. We're not gonna have any technology. Have issues today. No. Batteries will die.

[Unnamed Host]

There's been stuff going on.

[Courtney Miller]

I feel like I just. There's something in retrograde or like, maybe it was a full moon or like, I don't know what it was, but one of these last episodes, like, one of the cameras died. I hit record. It didn't start. I'm just like, why are you doing this to me?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Universe has been really weird.

[Courtney Miller]

No. And it can't do it to me on your episode.

[Unnamed Host]

Please.

[Courtney Miller]

No. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of two hot takes. I am so excited for today's guest, Courtney Miller. Hello. Hello, Hello. You are so fun. I just started learning about the smosh universe when I had Shane on, and I had no idea. It's so multifaceted. And you have been there 10 years now?

[Unnamed Host]

Just about. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

You act, you write, you produce. You're like a little Swiss army knife over there.

[Unnamed Host]

I love that term. That's awesome.

[Courtney Miller]

You do it all.

[Unnamed Host]

It's really fun over there. They teach you a lot, they let you learn a lot, and they really trust you a lot over there to just do stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

It's a little machine. Like, I. Our studio is like. It's with this one little room with like, an office, and you go to Smosh, and it's like, this is big time. Like, I was like, oh, my God. This is. It was so surreal. So you. You do great work over there.

[Unnamed Host]

Thank you. I really appreciate it. And this studio is adorable. I like, not. Not like, not like, small adorable. Like, you styled it so awesomely. And you said. You were saying. This doesn't. You're like, you want to fix this? I love it.

[Courtney Miller]

Thank you.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. New chairs. What do you think of the new chairs, guys?

[Unnamed Host]

I love a little wood trim.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. To match the wall. Really trying to coordinate.

[Unnamed Host]

You killed it.

[Courtney Miller]

Really trying to coordinate. Oh. So today's theme, I have. I feel like, especially, you know, doing your. Your skits. You do. And you guys have gotten into the Reddit stories a lot. You know, Weird.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

So today's theme is simply so weird. Just out of an abundance of stories, just crazy variety, but they're all just weird.

[Unnamed Host]

I love it. I cannot wait. I listened to a few episodes of your podcast. Cause I loved. Especially when our show was, like, kind of getting going, I loved hearing all the different ones. Cause there's a few out there.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, there's a couple now.

[Unnamed Host]

I really love the vibe of this one.

[Courtney Miller]

Thank you.

[Unnamed Host]

And you're awesome.

[Courtney Miller]

We really try over here. You know, me, my amazing editor, we've got Jenna editing nowadays, who's coming on an episode soon. I convinced her today. I know. So she's gonna be perceived. I. I know. I think she's like. She's sitting over there. She's like, wait, why did I agree to do this? But, yeah, it's. It's wild. Like, you. I was not an Internet person. And so, like, hearing you've been in it for 10 years, I'm like, okay, I can do it. I can do it.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, yeah. I think this is amazing. You got your Patreon and all this stuff. Like, it's such a cool job that you get to do this.

[Courtney Miller]

It's such a privilege. Like, every day I wake up and I'm like, this isn't real.

[Unnamed Host]

I love it. And you get to wear cool jackets.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. I splurged a little bit. Don't yell at me, guys, please.

[Unnamed Host]

You deserve it.

[Courtney Miller]

Feeling a little patriotic today. Register, vote. Okay. Let's get into these stories.

[Unnamed Host]

I love it.

[Courtney Miller]

Let's dive in. Okay, up first, this one is coming from Aitah. It is seven hours old. Very fresh.

[Unnamed Host]

Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

Titled. Am I the asshole for telling my fiance I don't want my Temu engagement ring? My 27 female fiance, 29 male, proposed to me a few weeks ago. It caught me completely by surprise, but we've been together for three years and things have been going great. So I was really excited and said yes. I really liked the ring when I first saw it and my friends and family all think it is stunning. It's an oval cut with diamonds across the band. I asked where he got it and he wouldn't tell me where, but that he got a great deal on it. I didn't think anything of it until yesterday. We were in bed and I asked him if it was diamond or moissanite. Mainly out of curiosity. I don't have a preference, by the way. He said he didn't know and would have to look it up. When I glanced over at his phone, he was in the TEMU app.

[Unnamed Host]

No.

[Courtney Miller]

I asked him if he got it from there and he didn't respond. So I asked again and he responded with something like, quote, does it matter? And left the room and ended up sleeping on the couch. I spent all night so confused. Today I decided to download the app and look up my ring and found one that looks identical. I found the exact ring and it is listed at $38. I am mad. He makes good money, 200k a year, and I feel like he could have shelled out some money for a ring better than the one on temu. Am I the asshole for telling him I don't want it?

[Unnamed Host]

Oh my goodness, no. Temu.

[Courtney Miller]

Temu.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay, listen. Like with wedding rings or engagement rings, like, it doesn't need to be. What was it the people used to say? 3 months salary.

[Courtney Miller]

That to me is insane.

[Unnamed Host]

That's a lot. I'm like, I would rather you take me to a nice restaurant a few times and also have a less expensive rate. Yeah, but temu. What if he didn't know what TEMU was? Do you think that's possible?

[Courtney Miller]

I'm wondering because I think about temu. Like, I really started to know about it with the super bowl ads this past year. Yeah, same. Like it was. Every single ad was temu. And I'm like, God, they're really shelling it out. So maybe he, like, didn't understand what TEMU really is. Because I think a lot of their branding too was like, shop. Like the billionaire shop, which is like, huh, no billionaires on temu. What? So I don't know, like, otherwise, why would you get it from temu? Like, there's so many other, like, more ethical sources.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, like literally walk into Nordstrom and even like a $50 ring. But, like, that is wild that he makes a salary of 200k.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

And $38. Like, whoa. And also that the engagement was by surprise. I wonder why it all came to be.

[Courtney Miller]

I know.

[Unnamed Host]

Why did he get a cheap ring that probably shipped really fast and then he proposed to her? You know, I'm like, really?

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know about this one.

[Unnamed Host]

And walking out of the room and sleeping on the couch after that short of a discussion is a little bit. Is a little bit crazy to me.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, if you can't have a conversation about this peacefully without someone storming out and, like, boycotting you by sleeping on the couch, that's a little concerning for me.

[Unnamed Host]

What if at his $200,000 salary job, they were like, we're all married men. You're dirty.

[Courtney Miller]

And so he trying to maintain that.

[Unnamed Host]

He's like, I must uphold this status as well.

[Courtney Miller]

But I could see it.

[Unnamed Host]

I don't know. I'm really. I'm really reaching, I think.

[Courtney Miller]

But, well, we don't have much to go on, so it's like all we are. We're just like, the wheels are turning. We're like, what is this about? So the top comment. I don't know. Normally I'd celebrate someone who didn't buy into all the engagement slash wedding, spend yourself to bankruptcy thing. But $38? I'm as tight as a duck's arse with money, as we say in the uk. But I'd spend a little more than that to at least get a band that was a reasonably high carat gold and then save on the gemstones.

[Unnamed Host]

Are you engaged? Congratulations.

[Courtney Miller]

Thank you. Yeah, I've been engaged for. It'll be like a year next week.

[Unnamed Host]

So was it a complete surprise or had you talked about it?

[Courtney Miller]

We had talked about it and then I didn't know when I was honestly, like, I was getting real annoying. Everyone can probably say, like, I was like, when's it gonna happen? But the day of, I knew because everyone was being super weird around me and, like, I felt like everyone was lying to me or avoiding me. I, like, cried. I was like, this is so sad.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, no.

[Courtney Miller]

And it turns out, no. Like, one of the people that was avoiding me, my mom, she was just busy and, like, was, like, not avoiding me on purpose. And I was like, I don't know what's worse.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

But it ended up being really, really cute. But yeah, we definitely talked about it before. So I'm like, with this, like, three years is kind of the point where you're like, yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

And did you talk about rings? Like, did you give them an idea of what you liked, what you didn't like?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. So we actually went downtown. We, like, went to the diamond district here in Los Angeles. And you can get such good deals there. And so I wanted moist night because I knew I wanted something big, but I didn't want the diamond price. So, like, my ring, is it like, people see it and they're like, oh, my God, it's massive. But it is a moiz night, which, like, I'm not discrediting, like, what my partner did or anything like that. Like, I love, love, love my ring. And it was under $2,000.

[Unnamed Host]

That's great. That's kind of around mine. Like, mine was an antique.

[Courtney Miller]

I love that.

[Unnamed Host]

Me too. It's not a family heirloom or anything, but I, with masculinity and femininity, struggle with style and what I want. So I wanted something that would be.

[Courtney Miller]

Just like, balanced, more like neutral, but just fit you.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And so I had sent him, like, 10 links.

[Courtney Miller]

I love that.

[Unnamed Host]

And then left it. And then. Yeah, and then it was also. It was cool because I sent him a bunch of links and then was like, whichever one, it's like, it's still like the balance of. I know I'm going to like it. But also he picked it.

[Courtney Miller]

That's actually a great way to do it. Because then it's like, okay, well, I like all these. But like, you pick the one that calls to you and you think, fits me the best. That's a really fun way to do it.

[Unnamed Host]

I liked it. It was nice. I think he liked it too.

[Courtney Miller]

That's really, really pretty. I'm. I'm obsessed. Okay. I'm like, okay, so ring number two.

[Unnamed Host]

That's.

[Courtney Miller]

We're gonna do it that way. I always joke with my fiance. I' like, okay, so I'm going to be like Victoria Beckham. Like, she's got 15 engagement rings. That's kind of what I want. Like, one can be 50 bucks. Like, get it from an estate sale. I'm cool with that. Like, I love thrifting and going on ebay. Me and ebay were like, this better.

[Unnamed Host]

Than Timu or Timu. Whatever. Whatever they say.

[Courtney Miller]

Whatever the hell it is. Okay, let's see if there's any comments from OP here.

[Unnamed Host]

Yes, please.

[Courtney Miller]

Because what is happening? So we do have quite a few comments.

[Unnamed Host]

Amazing.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my. Okay. A lot of comments. Okay. I'm not mad that the diamonds are not real, but I worry about the quality of the ring, because I imagined my engagement ring to be at least sturdy. It's fine for now, but I have a hard time believing it'll last longer than a year. If it's $38 on Temu.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. If it's a gorgeous ring, I think that's great. But it could turn your finger green or break off if you accidentally bump into something with temu. I just don't know. And then also people have travel rings. I think it would make sense for people, which I had just learned about by the way, like a friend's trip.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

But yeah, that's such a valid concern. And also even beyond that, like there is some sentimental or emotional aspect to this. It's not that she's demanding this expensive thing, but it's also how does he view this if he cares about this? And like there is. People see a ring as something that stands for lasting forever, you know, so something that clearly is. It's not going to last forever. But maybe in his mind he thought like, oh, this is just temporary. We can go get you a nice one and another time. But it doesn't sound like he said any of that. It sounds like he just slept on the couch.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. And it's like, just have that conversation at least. Like explain yourself and not storm off and pout. So I'm on temu. Okay.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay, let's go.

[Courtney Miller]

And now I'm wondering, I'm like, are we all over pain? I don't know how TEEMU is doing this. Probably not very like sustainably, ethically, I don't know. But there is a ring on here. It is 18 karat gold plated sterling silver moissanite engagement ring and they're asking $28 for it.

[Unnamed Host]

What?

[Courtney Miller]

And it's like, okay, moissanite. Like how are they? What? It's really pretty.

[Unnamed Host]

It is like I've seen someone have that, like, is there certification? Because I know real jewelry like that has to have some sort of certification of its stone or what it's actually made of. Like, is there anything in the description or like additional details?

[Courtney Miller]

Let's see.

[Unnamed Host]

I know that I just recently saw a TikTok where this guy created a software, like a website where you can check there are companies that are vastly putting out an inventory that are on high end things and low end things just across the board.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Unnamed Host]

And you. His website basically makes it so you can reverse image search and see that.

[Courtney Miller]

I love that.

[Unnamed Host]

So it's like, I guess it's not entirely insane that it could be that, but I just know that there are lots of jewelry sites that even if it's gold plated, it's, like, really poorly done too.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it's. So jewelry is really interesting to me because I have something that's solid gold but still turns my finger green sometimes.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And then someone was like, well, that happens around your period. And I'm like, huh? I'm like, what?

[Unnamed Host]

Also, if your jewelry, it gets dirty, it will just do that. You got to wash it with soap.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. I got one of those little things, the steamer, it makes a noise. It's like, oh, that's even cooler. I don't know what it does. It's magic, though.

[Unnamed Host]

They, like, zap it.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I can put my retainers in there. I can put my jewelry in there.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

I sanitize it. Don't worry.

[Unnamed Host]

Give me the link.

[Courtney Miller]

It's so good. But no, I'm not seeing, like, any mention of certification. I just see, like, S925 sterling silver. So for our jewelry people out there, maybe that has meaning to them, but you can do it based on the weight, like, 1 carat, 2 carat, 3 carat. So.

[Unnamed Host]

Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know. I'm like, that's wild.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay. I wonder, maybe there's even more geniuses in the comments who, like, who knows?

[Courtney Miller]

I know.

[Unnamed Host]

But if it's moissanite, that's what I'm.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I got moissanite. And, like, we paid way more than $28, clearly.

[Unnamed Host]

So it's like, mine's moissanite too. The main stone, at least.

[Courtney Miller]

So I was like, maybe. I don't know. I'm confused now, but I think it's not. I don't know. So then I'm kind of going back on this one where it's like, are you upset that it was only $38? Because you did love the ring and everyone said it was really pretty. So now I'm like, huh?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. You know? And maybe it's just the idea that it's TEMU and the reputation that TEMU has if the ring is legit. That's awesome. We live in a time.

[Courtney Miller]

What a time. $28 for a moissanite people pay thousands for. Yeah, like, that is amazing if that's the thing.

[Unnamed Host]

But it's also a bummer that he wasn't willing to, like, talk about it.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. So that's kind of what she does get into. Like, he's never been overly frugal. I'm probably more frugal than him. Neither of us are huge spenders, but we each make enough to not have to strictly budget or anything. We have our own accounts and split rent equally. I know he has at least a hundred K across his savings and investment accounts. We go out for drinks a few times a week and we'll go to concerts together. We travel a few times a year. Our doordash the other night was $40. My ring costs less than doordash dining.

[Unnamed Host]

That does. That can sting a little. That can sting a little bit.

[Courtney Miller]

Ooh.

[Unnamed Host]

I can understand where she's coming from. Obviously.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. There is some interesting comments about people mentioning this could be a loyalty test.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, these tests.

[Courtney Miller]

And Opie is like, I'm very confused based on the responses that people are saying it could be a loyalty test, that he doesn't want me to be able to sell it if we divorce, or that he doesn't plan to be with me for long. I have a pit in my stomach. I haven't considered breaking things off, but that was before I wrote this here. Oh my gosh.

[Unnamed Host]

This is all things that will be cleared up if they, like just talk about it. Like, I wish that there would have been more room for her to ask, like, so what inspired you to get this from this place? Or what is your plan? I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

It's so odd. Does clarify it is moissanite from the seller lvz gem on temu Temu. Whatever the heck it is. Really interesting. So we do have an update.

[Unnamed Host]

Hell yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay. Literally. He came home this morning while I was in a work from home meeting. These comments made my head spin all night. I got like three hours of sleep. So I admit I may be in the wrong for bringing up his finances, but I did read the gold digger rumors when we met. I was making more than him and often paying for his things. His high paying job is a recent development. I have my own money and don't need his. I asked him what was going on, if there was anything he needed to tell me, if he was testing me by doing this. Well, that really set him off. Quote, what kind of person do you think I am? You think I'm a cheapskate, A liar? You obviously think really poorly of me. But still, he never gave me a reason. So I asked why he was deflecting every question. To victimize himself and to avoid my questions, he tried to leave again. Come on. Why? This is not like.

[Unnamed Host]

This is really bad communicating.

[Courtney Miller]

This is not that big of a deal.

[Unnamed Host]

It's $38 either way, guys. Come On. Let's just talk about it.

[Courtney Miller]

Let's talk about it.

[Unnamed Host]

It's $38 that is breaking you guys up.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, the way he keeps trying to run away. I'm just envisioning the Kool Aid man running through walls. Like, why are you trying to escape your fiance so fast?

[Unnamed Host]

She needs to get a lasso, literally.

[Courtney Miller]

So I tried de escalating and told him, I see where he's coming from, but I need to know if he still loves me. He was immediately apologetic and still wants to get married. He said I can just pick my ring out and buy it with my own money. He said he's sick of talking about this and it's water under the bridge now.

[Unnamed Host]

Honey, you barely talked about it. You're already tired. Have they ever fought before?

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know. We gotta go back and check the comments. He's acting like his normal self again since this conversation. I hear him out there skipping around and humming to himself all happily, and it's actually pissing me off. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I don't think I can handle a marriage with someone like this.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, buddy. Oh, no.

[Courtney Miller]

What?

[Unnamed Host]

That was like, okay, so what is this job? Because this is all things where it's like, this guy does well for himself, and they've been in this relationship for three years. How has their communication and their dynamic been up until this point? If this is the longest con, like, he can't handle that much discussion about it. Sounds like that conversation went for, like, four minutes, tops.

[Courtney Miller]

It had to have been really short because he flipped out and keep trying to leave. Well, and then he's like, well, if you can buy your own ring, then it's like, oh, okay, Just avoiding it.

[Unnamed Host]

Just avoiding the main path, derailing.

[Courtney Miller]

And it's like, I guess if you. If you were with someone and they wanted something that's out of your budget or just not what you were willing to spend, you could offer up, like, oh, I'll split it with you, or, you know, whatever. But, like, I'm just. I'm really flabbergasted. This is just so goofy to me. And there is a comment from OP where, you know, she's mentioning. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Like, maybe he wasn't aware of the reputation that TEMU has, but he is being sneaky and distant about this and now just fully avoiding the conversation. I'll update here if I can find out anything. So that was 15 hours ago. And then that update we just read was three Hours old. There's no other comments, like since.

[Unnamed Host]

Since then he invests in stocks.

[Courtney Miller]

He's pretty risk averse. No mentions about communication. I've searched the word. I've searched the word communicate. I'm not seeing any comments addressing, like our communication before. This was amazing. We could talk through anything.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. I feel bad that Reddit really got to her head and so she started asking the Reddit questions, which Reddit can be really intense with theories and stuff. So you want to. I feel like if I was in her situation, I would take those with a grain of salt and then put them in your mental pocket. But do not let them be the topic of conversation. Like, because she put him in a position where he feels like he's being accused and already he's insecure that he ordered it off to Temu.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Even though that was a conscious adult decision that he literally made. Yeah. So he just seems to be taking it really personally that she's questioning this. And I feel like she could have had a gentler approach, but I don't think that she was necessarily wrong for how she went about it before. I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't think so either. Engagement rings are one of those things that are so person specific or dependent. Like everyone wants their own. Like there's the own method to the madness. Like I wanted a moissanite, I wanted to at least pick out the stone. So like I picked out the stone and then he picked out the rest of the ring. You did the links. That's the first time I've ever heard about that. And I love it. So it's like everyone is so, you know, in their own world with it. But like she's not happy and she's trying to have a conversation and he is just not for it.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And I feel like engagement, it's really one of those big steps for a couple. Right. And I think even if you want it to be a surprise and you don't want to know exactly how or when or what the ring is, like, it's still one of those big steps that you are making together and you should have those conversations and understand fully where each other is coming from with it. Like for me, like we had the conversation about like budget roughly because I'm like, I want to be able to wear it and not be terrified every moment that it could be stolen or lost and be out that money. Like that's terrifying to me and I want to be able to be relaxed a little bit. I also didn't know about travel Rings.

[Courtney Miller]

But, like, that was new to me when I got engaged too.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. I had no idea.

[Courtney Miller]

And I love the concept of that because it is, like, very sentimental and a prized possession. So to, like, potentially go on vacation and get robbed or, like, stolen out of your hotel room or whatever. Like, travel rings are so smart.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Courtney Miller]

So smart. It must have. Cause you guys kept your relationship really under wraps. Did you wear your engagement ring at all? Or were you kind of scared? You're like, I don't want to, like, have a picture taken in it. Like, how did you guys go about that?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. So this is tea a little bit. Oh, shit. So, no, this is. I wore a lot of rings in general before then, including rings on this finger. And so when we were talking about it, I was like, you know, like, with a lot of things with our relationship, I'm not gonna deny myself the experiences. You know, even though it was a secret, we weren't, like, preventing ourselves from just living normal lives that much. So I wore it. But I wore a lot of rings. And, like, so even if there was speculation. Cause there was. People would be like, well, she wears lots of rings.

[Courtney Miller]

It's fine.

[Unnamed Host]

And it's like, it doesn't scream engagement ring when it's by itself. And I had other rings that was like, a little opal that was way bigger. Like, I have.

[Courtney Miller]

That's so pretty.

[Unnamed Host]

I have some loud rings. Thank you. But, yeah, so, like, I did wear it, and just kind of. I didn't. And then one time I posted a selfie, I think, that had it, like, pretty prominently. And they're like, guys. Oh.

[Courtney Miller]

What?

[Unnamed Host]

And I was like, just let me live.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Unnamed Host]

But, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That's so. So cute. Yeah, that would be. That'd be hard. But I guess, like, wearing a lot of rings, it was almost like, that's just another ring, guys.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

But it's so nice that, like, you guys. I love the way you announced your. Your marriage, too. Like, it was April Fools, wasn't it?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And everyone's like, wait, is this real? Is this not real?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Some people think it's still a prank.

[Courtney Miller]

Which, you know, how many months later now?

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, was this half a year?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Almost six months. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Somewhere in there.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That's so cool. The pressure, like, just being off, where it's just like, you can just, you know, keep doing you now. Mm.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. That's very nice. Thank you. And, yeah, it's like, it's good to have that communication because it's. It's even Though it's one person doing something for another person, it's still like a group decision, a team decision. And he's just not acting like they're on a team at all.

[Courtney Miller]

No, no. I do love the last line in the update. I don't know if I can marry someone like this.

[Unnamed Host]

Good. Good on them for thinking that way. It's important because we ignore red flags sometimes and it's like, hey, this is one of those very adult moments that you guys are doing and like, it's time to read into those things.

[Courtney Miller]

I think you make a really good point too. Like, it is almost like a group project where it's like you don't necessarily have to do it exactly as the other person would or whatever. But like their participation, their, like their thoughts, feelings should be taken into consideration because it just is a bottom line respect thing. And you want to know your partner respects you and values you and isn't going to steamroll you.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, yeah, absolutely. And like at this point I'm like, maybe he is testing her because like, you know, last episode or previous episode, people be testing people in relationships for weird reasons.

[Courtney Miller]

They really are. Ooh. Okay, moving along.

[Unnamed Host]

All right.

[Courtney Miller]

One of this week's partners is Dipsey. I know I have a lot of romance book lovers out there because a lot of you are talking about Acotar and I myself love a good book, but I also love being able to relax, not hold something and just have that story beautifully read. To me, that is where Dipsey comes in. Dipsea is a female founded app for spicy audiobooks and more, all created by women for women. Dipsea has over 1000 spicy audiobooks. I love listening to Dipsey as I'm trying to wind down, practice some self care, or even as I'm bopping around the house cleaning and doing stuff. There's so many different stories on Dipsea and a bunch of different themes. They've got rugged cowboys, Scottish sailors, Fae royalty. I myself am a big Game of Thrones fan, so I gravitate towards stories like that. The app makes it super easy to search for whatever you're looking for and new chapters are released every week so you're never going to get bored. So if you're ready to try it for yourself. For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipsystories.com THT that's 30 days of full access for free when you go to dip s e a stories.com tht tipsystories.com tht this next one is coming from our very own 2 Hot Takes subreddit. Let me refresh the tab. I'm like, I don't refresh them. Okay. It's two days old now.

[Unnamed Host]

Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I get scared sometimes when I refresh and then they're gone. I'm like, oh no, that's.

[Unnamed Host]

No, that's smart.

[Courtney Miller]

We still got it. So it is titled My supervisor met my boyfriend and now she wants an HR Meeting Posting here because my friends are busy and I feel like this is the next best thing since I listen every week and love reading everybody's comments and opinions on things. I, 24, female, am a high school science teacher and my boyfriend, 25, male, is an only fans model. This is important. Today after school, he helped me carry in some stuff for a lab I'm going to be doing with my kids. When he arrived, the principal, I'll call her Jan, was outside for dismissal and was able to meet him while he was helping me set everything up in my classroom. Jan came in and asked if they had ever met before. Since he looked familiar. My boyfriend said he didn't think so and that was that. When we finished, I gave him a tour of the school that ended at the office. Jan was still there and greeted us again before a look of what I can only describe as fear came across her face. She quickly excused herself and we were left alone and confused. My boyfriend asked if maybe she recognized him from his OnlyFans page. I said surely not. She's a middle aged woman who barely knows how to use her phone. He let me live in denial until I got a text from her as we were cooking dinner. She said this good evening op. I'd like to have a meeting with you and HR person from HR tomorrow morning. Please be in my office at 7am so now I'm almost certain that my boyfriend was right and she does know him from his page. He keeps trying to reassure me that it's not about that, but I can see in his eyes that he's at least a little proud of himself. I've kicked him out to go buy me some stress snacks. My friends are busy and my family doesn't know he's an OnlyFans model, so I don't know who else to turn to. Maybe y'all have advice for me. I want to crawl out of my skin.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh man. Oh how old? What year does she teach?

[Courtney Miller]

High school science teacher and she's 24. He's 25.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh boy. She looked scared. The principal looks scared.

[Courtney Miller]

Why would Jan even bring it up. Like for me, I'm like, you're gonna incriminate yourself, Jan, I'm so curious about.

[Unnamed Host]

This little meeting that's gonna happen. Cause I know with teaching that's like one of the places where it still feels really old school with outside of work things.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it does. And I don't understand how it's legal. Like I saw on TikTok, a teacher got fired for having bikini pictures, swimsuit pictures on her Instagram.

[Unnamed Host]

Yep.

[Courtney Miller]

Her own personal private Instagram.

[Unnamed Host]

Yep. That's what's crazy. Private platforms are still being impacted, like as if it tells them something about you. But it's like swimsuits. And also, I mean, it's unfortunate how sex workers or just OnlyFans isn't just that. It's like just, you know, modeling or it is adult content sometimes, but it's not always. And so it's, it's unfortunate that it gets judged in that way. And like the fact that this principal likely recognizes this guy from OnlyFans. Yeah. You're exposing yourself. And it's a very private platform where I'm pretty sure you have to pay and have a membership or subscription to that person in order to see it. So I hope that if that's the case, that she should feel safe about this. The teacher op.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I know. And I'm like, I would love some lawyers to chime in.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Because obviously it's very state dependent what workplace protections people have. But I'm pretty sure you can't get fired anywhere for what your partner does. As long as you're doing your job, whatever they do doesn't affect your job. Like, I mean, what.

[Unnamed Host]

Because it's. Obviously you're thinking of protecting the kids, right?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

And it is so many steps to get access to whatever this, this partner is doing, you know, or posting. Like, and also we don't know what the content is. We just don't. So it's like you can't always assume what it is. But there's so many steps.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. I didn't realize how much of a variety there is on OnlyFans. Like some people literally just post their.

[Unnamed Host]

Feet on there feet or not even anything like that either.

[Courtney Miller]

I saw one girl does just do bikini pictures.

[Unnamed Host]

I think there's people who do comedy on there. There's not even any sexual connotation to content.

[Courtney Miller]

I think there is a push too to kind eliminate that. Well, to kind of. They're trying to compete with Patreon.

[Unnamed Host]

Right.

[Courtney Miller]

So they're having just regular creators come over now too.

[Unnamed Host]

Exactly. So you don't really know. I mean, this guy is a model, which, you know. Like, I know that that can be many things, but it sucks that. Cause even if it was sex work, like, that's okay. Like, and it is still a private platform that it would be really hard for kids to A, find out about it and B, somehow get access to it.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, and also that's kind of on the parents. Like, if your kid is going on OnlyFans and your kid is on websites they shouldn't be on. Like, that's kind of on the parents. Like, that's your job to make sure your kids are safe on the, on the Internet and safe online.

[Unnamed Host]

And it is. I think it's kind of funny that the boyfriend's like proud or husband or boyfriend.

[Courtney Miller]

Boyfriend. Boyfriend is like, proud, proud.

[Unnamed Host]

He's like, I think she recognizes me in my six pack.

[Courtney Miller]

Honestly, it is kind of impressive because, like, you really do have to market to grow on any platform, but especially that one that is so private. It's crazy. I just saw there was a news article that came out. OnlyFans creators made $5.33 billion last year.

[Unnamed Host]

Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

So like, that is for a lot of people, a small business.

[Unnamed Host]

And it is a, like, it's a healthy industry in a lot of ways. Like, I think it might be controversial, but like, I think sex work is super important. And you know, depending on how it's done, obviously, like, there's healthy ways and not healthy ways to go about it. I think it's still important and valid. And like, I. Is there an update of this? Like, I want to know.

[Courtney Miller]

So I literally, I commented and I was like, I need an update Op. Like, I have someone, I have the perfect guest co host to respond to this one. So the top comment is also about needing an update. If there was ever a need for an update, this would be it. We are now invested in your life, Opie. By the way, do not under any circumstances admit that your boyfriend is an OnlyFans model. If you get fired or disciplined at all, call a local employment attorney the second you leave the school. Make sure you have a copy of your employment contract with the district handy.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay, good. Okay, so it sounds like she's not at liberty to give that information. And yeah, sounds like she would be safe.

[Courtney Miller]

I know a lot of people do recommend recording the conversation too, if they're in a one party consent state. Because a lot you have to like, get the other party's permission to record. Right. But let's get into this Update, shall we? Oh my God.

[Unnamed Host]

You have it? Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I was posted eight hours ago. Hello. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to make a separate post for an update or not. Sorry, this is my first time actually posting on Reddit. Please let me know if I'm not supposed to. You did fine. You're good. I asked for advice and y'all gave so much. Thank you. I felt really supported. Also, a lot of y'all clocked it. I do work for a religious private school, which like, even more like, yeah, Ms. Principal.

[Unnamed Host]

Ms. Principal.

[Courtney Miller]

Even weirder. Anyways, I arrived for my meeting at 7. I know a lot of you thought it was early, but school starts at 7:45 so it was a normal time for me. I did record the meeting. Even though I am in a one party consent state, I asked to be safe. The meeting started with Jan, my principal, saying that it had recently come to their attention that my boyfriend has been publicly participating in lewd acts. I asked what she meant since as far as I knew, my boyfriend had never had charges filed against him for something like that. That's when the HR lady Pam said that somebody they couldn't name names just said it was a staff member found his OnlyFans account like many of you said. I asked what that was since I had never heard of it. They explained, although they did not look as uncomfortable as I had hoped. Then they asked if I had ever participated in or intended to participate in one of his videos. I said no. Jan said that I couldn't bring any unvetted guests into the building. So I pulled up the email thread I had asking for permission and reminded her that he had his ID scanned in order to get a temporary badge. Pam said that it was due to the nature of his online activity that he would no longer be allowed in the school. I said okay, and asked if when I brought my dad to help with things in the future, would I need to disclose his online activity as well? Pam said that wasn't necessary, but that they couldn't have any teacher or staff member affiliated with a sex worker. I asked what that meant and she said that I could not bring him onto school grounds, to school functions or anything relating to the school. Additionally, since the school represented the church, the staff could only have relationships with people who upheld a dignified image. Apparently my boyfriend doesn't do that. She also said that if they receive one report from a parent, student, or staff member of my affiliation with him after this meeting, that would be grounds for immediate termination. Whoa. That is so Toxic. Extremely. To have that weighing on you constantly.

[Unnamed Host]

Just that fear completely out of your control. Like, completely out of your control. And also, I'm just like, speaking in their own language. This school. Someone's participating in lewd acts by paying for and somehow seeing and accessing this OnlyFans.

[Courtney Miller]

Thank you. Op gets to that. I asked if that also applied to the staff member who reported it in the first place since they went on to a corn site. Jan said that was irrelevant, that the meeting was about me, not the other staff member. The meeting ended shortly after they asked me to sign an acknowledgment of the meeting. I told them I wanted to review it first and brought it home with me. My boyfriend is furious and at the same time keeps apologizing, saying that it's his fault, but it's not. The standards for teachers are crazy. We're going to have a little. Indeed/ LinkedIn date so I can hopefully get out of there ASAP. Lesson learned, though, never take a job at a religious school.

[Unnamed Host]

That is so intense.

[Courtney Miller]

And I. Wow.

[Unnamed Host]

My immediate reaction was it is way more relevant to be talking to the person who had access and went into the website than this person who, to their knowledge doesn't interact with that content, is aware of it. You know, you can't just come across that stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

So.

[Courtney Miller]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

That's so unfair.

[Courtney Miller]

I would be so upset and like, I think obviously she wants her job in the meantime until she finds something else. But on my exit interview, I would literally, I would blast the door open. I'd have my boyfriend print up the little invoice of like, Jan, blah, blah, blah. Like, I would make sure I have the receipts and be like, hey, you had a problem with me? Look at this. Like, you can't have a double standard.

[Unnamed Host]

Absolutely.

[Courtney Miller]

But also, maybe there's something to be in the bigger person and just walking away and just.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And I don't know if legal stuff is still the same when it's like a private school, like a religious school. Because I know religious schools are usually private schools.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. They can kind of have their own.

[Unnamed Host]

Rules a little bit sometimes. I don't know. To a certain extent.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Like code of conduct stuff, maybe. I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

I'd be curious because it is like a private organization versus like a public school that's held accountable. Like.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

More so by government and community.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. But it would be very. I think it's easy to be like, I found this page and you should know about this. But if the HR person was also brought the information of, like, hey, did you know that your principal has a membership that they're subscribed to on OnlyFans to this type of content that matters way more to me than if someone is doing a job. I can understand a point of view of, like, in a very specific situation of, like, oh, this person does this type of content that, you know, we don't want this person around kids. Okay, maybe. But still, there's a lot going on there.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. And you just know that they're gonna actually go through his content to make sure she's not in it. 100.

[Unnamed Host]

This principal's like, guess I have to go through all of his content and look at it.

[Courtney Miller]

Research.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, and the fact that. Okay, I'm. I'm surprised. The fact that she recognized him in one visit and was like, oh, my God. That mean I don't know how active she is on there.

[Courtney Miller]

She's active.

[Unnamed Host]

I really feel for this teacher because OP deserved way more her side of the story being heard, because she had nothing to do with any of this.

[Courtney Miller]

No, it's so different. It's like if it was her after hours. That's one thing, because people Google name can come up a lot more easily. But this is a boyfriend. This is her partner. This is not. And she's not involved. It's crazy. And she said it herself. The standards we hold teachers to are crazy.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And it's like, teachers, they don't get paid enough at all for what they do. And it's like, if you have one of the good ones, you should want to keep them. Like, shut up, Jan. Shut up. Go enjoy on your own time. Separate your work and your private life. Like, if someone else brought it to your attention, maybe that's one thing. But, like, you're the one that recognized him. That's a you problem.

[Unnamed Host]

Yep.

[Courtney Miller]

I can't believe HR didn't have a problem with it.

[Unnamed Host]

And it sounds like principal and HR are in cahoots.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, they're. Buddy, Buddy.

[Unnamed Host]

They talked about it before they had a plan.

[Courtney Miller]

Jan probably didn't mention she knew. She probably did keep it anonymous. She's like, someone anonymously told me that they recognized him versus her going to HR being like, I recognized him, of course.

[Unnamed Host]

And they're not gonna go as far as to check out this verif and verify it. They're just gonna believe it.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, Jan's the principal, so that power imbalance. Like, they're gonna believe Jan. Mm. Fricking Jan. Get out of there, OP.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, and I hope you find Something better. And I know it's hard out there for teachers, but sounds like you're a good one, so.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. And honestly, it might be a good time. Like school year is just starting in a lot of places. Maybe a new teacher didn't work out, you could swoop in, you know.

[Unnamed Host]

Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed could be good. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay, moving along, another one of this week's partners is Mint Mobile. I love a good deal. Discount coupon code, you name it. I'll work for a deal sometimes. But tell me why I didn't seriously consider changing my phone provider until I tried Min Mobile even though I knew I was overpaying and you're like, wait, wait wait, back up $15. Yeah, $15 a month when you purchase just a three month plan, so why not try it? I'm getting better service with the SIM card Mint Mobile provided me than my big provider I've had for years. And it's super easy to get started or switch. I was able to sign up online and get a SIM card in less than five minutes. So if you're ready to try it for yourself to get this new customer offer and your new 3 month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mint mobile.com THT that's mintmobile.com THT cut your wireless bill to 15amonth at mint mobile.com THT $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month new customers on first 3 month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. Cement Mobile for details this is coming from Relationship Advice. It is titled My 37 male wife, 35 female punched a woman in the face in public in front of our daughter. 6 Female I don't know how to feel about this. My wife is eight months pregnant and last night we went to a restaurant with our daughter that was surprisingly crowded for a weeknight. We were waiting for our table when my wife grabbed my arm and said, quote that woman over there keeps staring at us. I told her not to think too much into it as she has a tendency to point out creepy people a lot. We got to our table and while we were waiting for our food, the woman she pointed to came up to us and asked if she could touch my wife's belly. My wife said, quote I'd rather you not. But the woman did anyways and my wife stood up. The woman looked at our daughter and said, quote what a beautiful little girl. And tried to pick her up by the armpits.

[Unnamed Host]

Sorry, I hate I hate armpit stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

My wife then pushed the woman back and punched her in the face. I took her arm and got my daughter, and we got out of there. I asked my wife why she did that, and she said, quote, are you kidding? A complete stranger tried to pick up our daughter?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I told her she overreacted and that such force was not necessary. I had some reservations about letting her go out in public while pregnant, but I don't really think I can at all now. Not if she's going to act like this. I don't really know what to do. She still seems to think she did nothing wrong. I have never acted like this in public, and neither has she. The fact that she likely traumatized our daughter by displaying such violence in front of her is something that's making me look at her slightly different. What should I say to her?

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, boy. I mean, obviously I couldn't keep my mouth shut during that one, but I'm like, I'm flabbergasted. It's a lot. I think. I do think it's weird that he didn't acknowledge that what this woman was doing was weird.

[Courtney Miller]

Right? This is, like, giving, like, gingerbread house. Like, oh, what beautiful children you are. You're staring at me from across the room as we're waiting for our table. She clearly is, like, being weird about it for the wife to notice and then to come up to the table. Can I touch your belly? The wife says no. She still touches her belly. What?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, like, the escalation was there. Obviously, this pregnant wife was very valid in her feelings. Punching, obviously, like, it's illegal, but. And then I love. I love that the husband just got them out of there. Cops didn't get involved. Like, obviously punching someone is illegal, but in a way, this person touched her first without her consent.

[Courtney Miller]

I wonder if that's technically assault, too.

[Unnamed Host]

I don't know. I don't know. Because pregnant belly stuff, people be just touching bellies. And, like, she said no. Ew, stop.

[Courtney Miller]

I know.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, stop. Ick, ick, ick, ick, ick. And then going to pick up another person's child without asking. Like, so, like, if I was op. And my partner was like, someone's staring at us, Obviously, I would check it. And if I am, like, maybe it's nothing. Sure. But then that person comes up. I'm. Now I should clock. Like, okay, my partner was right. That's weird. Watch that happen and be like, okay, time to protect our zone right now.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, stand up, dude.

[Unnamed Host]

So many. And she stood up. The wife Stood up.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, and like, if this is your second child, you know, she's in mama bear mode.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

She's gonna protect her kid and her family.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I know. Well, and she's eight months pregnant. Like, when the dad saw like some stranger going to pick up your six year old, don't you think you should have gotten up too? Like, come on. And like six, six year olds are kind of big. How is she just casually picking up.

[Unnamed Host]

This six year old by the armpits too? Like that is there. And there is just no check. Sorry. I, like, have a weird thing with, like, I used to get tickled in my armpits as a kid and like, now I feel like armpit trauma. Yeah. It's like, I don't like it.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't like armpits in general.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, they're not like, fun.

[Courtney Miller]

No. They just look kind of weird.

[Unnamed Host]

Especially just like they're sweaty.

[Courtney Miller]

They smell.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. But I don't want a stranger touching mine, no matter how.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I just. No, I just. I'm really bad. Like, I gave you a hug when you got here, but, like, I'm really bad at hugs, so. To like go up and touch a stranger.

[Unnamed Host]

No, I have weird things with hugs too.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm like, I just never know. But it's like, I feel like handshakes. I would almost rather hug someone than shake their hand.

[Unnamed Host]

I get that.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know why. I'm just like, hands are just so, like, they don't know if they washed it.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Like, I know everybody's different with that stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm overthinking it for sure. But like, to like, I just, I don't know, I'm just.

[Unnamed Host]

It's ultimately what you want to do with your body, but also like a hug or a handshake is different than someone touching your. Your stomach. Baby or not. It's weird to touch someone's stomach without consent, especially when they've been actively given enthusiastic decline of consent. Like, this woman isn't right. Especially since she was so. She was right.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Wife was right. That this woman was watching them clearly at the restaurant.

[Courtney Miller]

And there's so many comments with this one that I'm kind of confused about. My wife has a tendency to point out creepy people a lot.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, no, that's. I mean, listen, I'm a paranoid person and I point out creepy people a lot. Sometimes I'm wrong, sometimes I'm right. And it's better to just listen to a person and at the very least, assess for yourself.

[Courtney Miller]

Absolutely.

[Unnamed Host]

And be There for this person. Because now this person, whether or not they're right, they're on edge. So like be there for them. Just period.

[Courtney Miller]

And the other comment that was interesting. I had some reservations about letting her go out in public while pregnant.

[Unnamed Host]

Hello.

[Courtney Miller]

What are you gonna do? Tie her up at home for nine months?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, like maybe don't let her get on a rollercoaster or on a plane. But like, what? Like. Cause you know, like you're not allowed to fly after.

[Courtney Miller]

But like, I know the amount of people that give birth on planes, on accident, it's really crazy.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. But like, that is wild to say. I think it's good to like be aware of like how you're wife's feeling in certain moments. But like letting her out.

[Courtney Miller]

Letting. I was nervous. Hello? Dude, top comment. Your wife was defending herself against a total stranger who touched her without permission and after being told not to, who then proceeded to try and pick up your kid. Are you embarrassed by your wife's actions or because you did nothing to protect your family? Snaps.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, I mean, it's really weird. He didn't acknowledge anything about whether she was right, whether that was not okay to have your child touched. Like this man. This op unfortunately sounds like they're not.

[Courtney Miller]

Very involved or just not picking up on vibes at all. Like maybe he is just one of those people that doesn't read social situations or like stuff very well because like to just like think your wife is pointing out all these creepy people and it's like you just think they're normal. Like very clearly your wife was on it with this read. So are you just that unaware? And someone does comment here op, as this woman is putting his kid in the trunk of her car. Gee whiz, let's not overreact. Like you don't know. This woman could have picked up your 6 year old and skirted out of there.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, absolutely. Like it was, it was on a path of escalation. It was happening. You not only like, do not touch anyone's kid. Do not touch anyone's kid.

[Courtney Miller]

That's so creepy.

[Unnamed Host]

That's worse to me than touching my stomach. Like, do not touch. Like, why do you feel that's okay? I think in the past, like, you know, there are older generations that expect to be able to do certain things, to interact with your kids, to interact with your pets. Like I had a dog one time that for some reason I never realized it before, how weird people are with your pets. Like I had a dog, his name was Django and he didn't want strangers to touch him. And he wasn't aggressive. He would just move away and people would take it personally. And like, I.

[Courtney Miller]

What?

[Unnamed Host]

But, but there was weird instances, people in LA are a weird dude. Where one time this woman pulled my puppy when he was puppy into her lap and she put her hand in some weird places and he liked, winced and lunged away. Like he pushed. I think she like, what, inappropriately touched my dog. And I like, was like, it was so weird. I don't know if I'm telling this story very well. It was in a fricking Starbucks and this woman just pulled my puppy into her lap.

[Courtney Miller]

What the hell?

[Unnamed Host]

Put her hands in places. He got out of her grip and she was like, so cute. Haha. And like walked away really fast.

[Courtney Miller]

What a freak.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. So I feel for the mom, definitely, because I think about that person at that Starbucks and I'm like, I wish I had punched them, you know, I'm.

[Courtney Miller]

Just blown away by your story. I'm like sitting here, I'm like, your poor dog.

[Unnamed Host]

I know my poor dog. And like, that only happened that one time. And like, after that I was like, I am not giving people permission to touch my dog.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm like too comfortable with other people's animals.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And clearly children too.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. That's the thing too. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna react if I'm ever pregnant because like, I'm again, like, I'm bad at hugs. So like, the thought of someone just like rubbing my belly like I'm a like a Buddha or something. Like, I just know how I'm gonna handle it. Like, I've had a couple of friends that have been pregnant and like, I didn't even feel like super comfortable touching their stomachs. Like, I honestly think I've touched like one pregnant person's stomach because I'm just like, I don't know, like, it just is so. I think it feels so personal and intimate.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, absolutely. I think I've only touched when asked too, like specifically invited, like, oh, they're kicking. Do you want like, I. Cause yeah, it's like, it's an intimate touch that's like, for your partner even like to touch your stomach.

[Courtney Miller]

Such a little crazy thing too. Like there's a little alien in there.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, bro, don't even get me started.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh my God. And like when you can see like a full like foot outline. Have you seen pictures of that?

[Unnamed Host]

I've seen videos. Really? Like, you can see like an arm go by.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I'm just like, I'm nauseous. I'm so nauseous.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, it freaks me out a little bit, too.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, okay. Well, no update on this one.

[Unnamed Host]

Did they reply to anything?

[Courtney Miller]

Not seen any comments from OP So that's a bummer. I know. I hope he ended up realizing, like.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, because clearly she has good instincts and that she. She can sense trouble and, like, see it.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. You know, crazy. Someone does give him a new title. My 37 male wife, 35 female, defended my daughter's life after she was assaulted by some creepy woman touching her belly and grabbing our kid in the middle of a COVID pandemic while I stood there and did nothing. Fixed it for you.

[Unnamed Host]

There you go.

[Courtney Miller]

And that does also add some context, too. This post is three years old.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, wow.

[Courtney Miller]

So, like, your wife is pregnant. Pandemic Covid still, like, being really active and present and, like, you have this stranger doing this. No, thank you.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, that stranger is out of their mind.

[Courtney Miller]

Out of their mind. This next one is also out of their mind.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, boy.

[Courtney Miller]

Coming from relationship advice, a month old, my 26 female boyfriend, 27 male, falsely staged a drug intervention for me. I'm not addicted to drugs. What do I do? I've, 26 female, been with my boyfriend, 27 male, for three years. Our relationship has had absolutely no issues before this incident. He has been the perfect and most loving partner. However, last week, I came home from work to an intervention with all of my close family and friends orchestrated by my boyfriend, who has apparently convinced them I'm a drug addict. For context, I have no history of drug use, no behavioral signs that would suggest addiction, and no reason for him to believe otherwise. I believe he knows I'm not on drugs because he has said things to my mom and sister that he knows to be untrue. That things have gone missing around the house. They haven't. That I've used his credit card to withdraw money. I don't even have his card details. And that I've been acting erratically. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. When I confronted him about all of this, he said, quote, it's not about the drugs. It's about making sure you're safe. What? My partner is a psychologist and has convinced my entire family I am displaying all the hallmark signs of drug addiction. They all insist I'm in denial and that I need help. No one is willing to entertain my denials at all. My mom says she isn't willing to have me over to her house, and my sister won't allow me to see my nieces Until I go to rehab. Based on the conversations with my family and friends, I believe he's been spinning this story for several months now prior to staging the intervention. I am super embarrassed, as he organized for practically all of my close friends, family, and even a work colleague to attend the intervention. But more than that, I feel utterly betrayed and confused. I can't understand his motivation for doing this. Can anyone offer me some insight as to what is prompting this otherwise normal man to do this? I'm terrified.

[Unnamed Host]

That sounds like a Handmaid's Tale nightmare. Just being thrown into a world that you don't even know is possible. Like, what?

[Courtney Miller]

My jaw is on the floor. I'm like, I'm so, so scared. And I feel so bad because, like, everyone's against them. Like, everyone. The family. Like, the mom being like, you can't come over, the sister, you can't see your nieces until you go to rehab. No one is believing her. And then I'm also terrified because he is a psychologist. Like, there's a position of power there. And so, like, he also has that, like, level of authority where if he tells people something, especially with, like, addiction, they're gonna believe him.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Especially if he, like, knows all the therapy speech and all the words. Like, it truly sounds like something out of the Twilight Zone.

[Courtney Miller]

It does, yeah. This is so crazy.

[Unnamed Host]

I mean, my instinct is, like, he's trying to, like, entrap her into. Like, he sounds like he. Because I just. After hearing so many Reddit stories over the years, men can just, like, shift. Or, like, people that you're in a relationship with, your partner can just, like, shift.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

And who knows where it's coming from? Who knows, like, why they're doing that? But, like, I can't believe her own family isn't even considering her. Like, that means he's really been, like.

[Courtney Miller]

Plotting, like, laying that groundwork. Like. Like, she's kind of assuming, I don't think. Like, even if, like, my fiance went to my mom and was like, she's addicted to, like, all these things and blah, blah, blah. Like, I feel like my mom would give me the benefit of the doubt.

[Unnamed Host]

And talk to me first privately, like, without him. Yeah, 100%. And, like, my instinct is you can prove that. You can prove that you haven't even done anything. Like, that is so true. You can get regular over the counter drug tests, but you can also go to the hospital, get the whole nine, and do the hair follicle one everything, blood tests, and show that he's lying, but, like, that's so true. It takes time. And, you know, I would be afraid that my family would still not believe me if they've been believing for months. And they're like, well, maybe she's just stopped for a little bit to prove that she's not. Like, that's actually something out of a sci fi novel. Wild.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm also sitting here trying to understand the why behind it for him. Like, why are you doing this? This is someone you've been with for three years. How do you move forward now? Like, you deep down genuinely know that this person isn't a drug addict? Are you trying to just have her break up with you so you don't have to do it? Is this about power and control in some weird way where, like, you're almost making this person look insane and a liar? Like, why? What's the why here?

[Unnamed Host]

My thoughts were that this person is trying to be controlling. And just with the Reddit stories you read over at Smosh, it's like, oh, he got onto some weird podcasts or weird forums and is thinking, like, this is how you lock down a partner. I don't know. That's literally. It's a reach.

[Courtney Miller]

But, like, I could see it, though. I mean, nothing, like, nothing's impossible.

[Unnamed Host]

I mean, this intervention was somehow possible.

[Courtney Miller]

Literally.

[Unnamed Host]

That's so sad. That's so sad.

[Courtney Miller]

There's a top comment, okay, all caps. And they made it really big. Like, out of all the font size here on this page. I didn't even know you could do it, but they made it big.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Get the fuck out now. He's manipulating your friends and family to gain total control and isolate you. He's going to hurt you. Next comment down. This is genuinely one of the worst, slash scariest advice posts I've seen on Reddit. Really hope she gets out fast. Next comment. As someone who went through this, they isolate. Then the abuse starts. This post made my blood run cold. Oh, and that is something I didn't consider. Like, the isolation, like, we all, we, like, we all recognize, like, the family is now, like, shunning her, not believing her. You can't come over. But, like, you now have to look at the effect of that. Like, she has no one. What's crazy? Now that I, like, look back, she's not even questioning, like, breaking up. That wasn't mentioned at all in this post.

[Unnamed Host]

She's just like, why do you think. She's just like, why do you think they think this? I think because there is a very small possibility that this person's a Psychologist. Maybe they're not a very good one. And maybe they're just reading into signs and not taking fact or taking other routes to just believe your partner that they're not, like, showing signs. And the fact that she's debunking, like, I'm not stealing stuff. I'm not doing these things. It does, unfortunately, feel like controlling, isolating behavior. And I've experienced it to a degree in past relationships, and I've seen it happen to my friends. And it's like, it's so devastating to see, and it can happen before you even realize. So it's possible he's already been isolating her without her realizing. Because the fact that they're so willing to believe him.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. And I think that's a lot. I think that's why it is so hard to leave toxic relationships, because it can just slowly, like, seep in. And that isolation and that control or that, like, that doubt in your own thoughts, in your own gut. And it's just like, before you know it, you're like, wait, no, no, no, no. Like, this is just normal. It's fine. And it's like, that's why it is so hard to leave and get out and recognize, like, this isn't normal.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Because suddenly one day you feel like that relationship is all you have.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

And you don't know what to do. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And I think that's genuinely, like. I think that is why he's trying to do that. Like, there's another comment here I'll read before we look at OP's account and see if there's anything. But this person goes, soon as I read he's a psychologist, I came to say exactly this. He's not only manipulating your friends and family, he's manipulating you. Actually, this probably belongs in R slash manipulation, rather than here. I especially love the little quote. It's not about the drugs. It's about ensuring you're safe. Next thing you know, you are in a psych ward because you are at risk. You do not want that. Leave this relationship immediately. Block your boyfriend. Let family and friends know you are okay. But go low contact with them until you have this sorted out. Because he has now laid the groundwork, you leaving him will definitely be perceived as a result of your drug issues.

[Unnamed Host]

That's so sad. Like, for a second, I was like, whoa, is this like Munchausen's by proxy?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, he's.

[Unnamed Host]

Cause he's brought all of their family in to, like, believe this. And he's seeming like he believes it, but that's a. That's a. This is. I mean, this whole thing is crazy, but that's one crazy lane on the crazy freeway, you know?

[Courtney Miller]

I wonder if there's some aspect of that, if that could fit here, because, like, he probably is going to try to get her put on some sort of hold. Like, oh, she's. She's going to hurt herself. Like, he. I could see it. I could see it really going down that route. And it's like, well, he doesn't want to do that to himself, so, like, yeah, like, he's going to do it to her.

[Unnamed Host]

Mm.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, okay. There's only one comment from op. Only one. And this post is a month old. So, like, the fact there's not an update yet, like, oh, no. I'm like, you guys, my anxiety is through the roof on this. Like, we need to. I'm following their account right now. But, like, we. Op, if you're out there.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah. Let us know. Please. Blink twice. We need help.

[Courtney Miller]

Seriously. Drop a pin. We'll come home. So the only comment from OP Is in response to someone. So someone goes, get a drug test, the hair kind, and let them all grovel with apologies. Also, dump the boyfriend who is weaponizing his profession to isolate and control you. So Opie responds, I propose to do this on the spot at the intervention, but they are convinced there are ways to fool them. My mom has said she won't believe me until I go into a rehab facility, and a provider there confirms this, but this requires me to actually get admitted.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, my God. Like, go to a doctor first.

[Courtney Miller]

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

[Unnamed Host]

They're so willing to just drop their. Like, their kid like that.

[Courtney Miller]

This. This dude is like one of those people that could start a cult.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, genuinely, the way he's getting all of these people to believe him is terrifying.

[Unnamed Host]

I just started watching the show Interview with a Vampire.

[Courtney Miller]

Ooh. I keep seeing Tiktoks for it. I'm like, it looks really good.

[Unnamed Host]

It was a really good pilot. And it's like, that guy is like. He just has this ability over people. Like, just, like, not. Not even, like, physically doing anything. But they're all just. They all want to believe him.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, you know, that charisma, that ability to, like, just sell.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. That's crazy that they're not even willing. They're like, yeah, no, there's ways. So it's like, no, come with me. Do, like, let's do this together. If you really care about me, you'll at least try this with me.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, you picked the doctor even. You picked the time place, when, where. Also, like, rehab facilities are not super accessible. They're definitely not affordable. Like, I know they can be thousands and thousands of dollars. So to, like, who's gonna pay for this? Like, you want me to go here and to get a provider to prove. But, like, are you paying for it?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And, like, I don't know how long that stuff takes and how long she has to be put into that situation. You know, I just think that's really sad that they're not even willing to take steps up to it. She'd be like, hey, let's do this together, and if it still doesn't satisfy you in that moment, then we can do this. Like, if you're really willing to take the time to handle this with me, then handle it with me. I really.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, man.

[Unnamed Host]

I wish I, like, knew more about how all of that went. The fact that they're just immediately wanting to send her with a rehab, but they've not had anything to show for it.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm just blown away by this one. I would. I would be in a mental tailspin myself, because it's like, you're losing so much autonomy. Like, everyone's against you. You're isolated. You literally, like, yeah, like, sounds like. Lives with the partner. A work colleague got involved, so I hope her job isn't in jeopardy. Like, this is so bad. And the fact he invited a colleague makes me think it was so intentional to potentially make her even more cut off. Like, oh, let me take away her income. Now she's even more reliant on me.

[Unnamed Host]

Ugh.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, he got everybody, everyone.

[Unnamed Host]

Cause, like, if I was a partner and I was that concerned and there was, like, actually stuff there, I wouldn't be doing all that. I would start. I would talk to the family first and then let the family handle it. Cause it's not up to me, bro. It's up to the family. Like, I don't. I'm. Even if I'm the partner, I don't know that person as well as the family does. Like that. You're so right. It is extremely, extremely calculated.

[Courtney Miller]

I just made myself really scared.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, no, no. The colleague is. That is the final nail in the coffin, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

If someone's partner invited me to one of my colleagues intervention, I'd be like, I can't go. Yeah, I don't want no part in that.

[Unnamed Host]

I think you guys got it.

[Courtney Miller]

You're good.

[Unnamed Host]

I think you guys get it. That's enough. Probably.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God. I'm crying. I'm so uncomfortable.

[Unnamed Host]

Aw, no. That is a nightmare scenario.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh my God. Wow. Okay, we need to move along.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

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[Unnamed Host]

I hike quite a bit.

[Courtney Miller]

Do you really?

[Unnamed Host]

Not like in the most recent, like last several months. Really busy, but I've hiked a lot like growing up and stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

Have you ever done the Grand Canyon?

[Unnamed Host]

Never done the Grand Canyon, no.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay, well, I'm not a hiker at all, so I'm really happy that I have you for this next one.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay, cool.

[Courtney Miller]

This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled Am I the Asshole for partying with my friend midway through a Grand Canyon hike, my friend Crystal and I spent six months planning and training for a very intense all day hike of the Grand Canyon. We would go down south kebab. I'm going to butcher the names. Don't yell at me. And Upright Angel. On Crystal's birthday in June, which would be over a hundred degrees. Two weeks before the hike, our friend Valerie said she wanted to join us. Valerie looks way fitter than us. She does CrossFit and has a six pack and so we assumed she would be fine on the trip Leading up to the Hike. Valerie was eating salad while Crystal and I were carb loading with pasta and pizza. Crystal and I each brought 4 liters of water, trail mix and granola bars and believed Valerie had packed her bag with the same as it was all in the hotel room for us to share when we packed the night before. About halfway down, Crystal and I realized that at the pace Valerie was going and thus the rest of us, we would not finish the hike before sundown. We told Valerie about our concerns and she said we should just hike ahead without her and that she would either catch up or if it was too much, turn back. We asked if she was really sure about it and she said that she was. So off we went. When we got to the bottom of the canyon, we waited for about an hour at the Colorado river but did not see her. At that point, we really had to get going so we would finish the trail before nightfall. We tried to call her from a payphone but got her voicemail. None of us had reception. We explained the situation to a ranger and they said that they would look out for her. When we were close to the top and it was actually already dark, we got reception and got a message from her that she had collapsed and had to stay at the lodge at the bottom of the canyon. The lodge is booked months out, but I guess they had some emergency beds. She would hike out the next day with another group and said not to worry about her. Both Crystal and I were totally destroyed physically, but we got in the car and went and demolished a pizza, then went to sleep at the hotel.

[Unnamed Host]

Nice.

[Courtney Miller]

Oddly, we found half of Valerie's water and all of Valerie's food at the hotel. I don't want to make too many assumptions about her, but I think it's clear enough to say that. It seemed clear she didn't know how to eat during or before a hike. Despite our guidance, the next day Valerie said she would be up by 3pm I was planning to pick her up. However, the one update we got from her was that she would be hours late. 6pm rolled around and she still wasn't up. I left her a voicemail letting her know we needed to continue on to our next hotel. One hour away. We were both feeling pretty beat up and I didn't think I would have the energy to do the drive much later. I told her in the voicemail that I would pay for her to uber to the hotel. Just tell me how much it is. Around 10pm, Valerie called me furious. It took her over 13 hours to hike up and she almost didn't make it. She was suffering from sunstroke. She said she could have died because we abandoned her and we were really selfish not to stay with her. So am I the asshole?

[Unnamed Host]

Whoa, that's a big one. Like, wow.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God. This sounds like my nightmare. I wanna be honest.

[Unnamed Host]

Well, demolishing pizza and pasta, I'm like, let's go.

[Courtney Miller]

Love that. All four of that one.

[Unnamed Host]

Dang. Okay, so I know that, like, I love fitness. I weight train a lot, and I've done some different types of fitness and stuff. And so even if this person does CrossFit or those other things, it doesn't equate to being able to hike a crazy hike at all.

[Courtney Miller]

It's like such a different kind of training, it would seem.

[Unnamed Host]

And it's like, it's cardio. It's all these other things and sounds like. Cause I know some people when it's like a hike, it's a casual walk. Other people, when they're hiking, they're like, let's go. Cause they have to meet a certain distance or get to sundown at a certain point. And so it sounds like they assumed that she was physically able to do it, but sounds like they were pretty good at communicating with her the whole.

[Courtney Miller]

Time, like, trying to. Right. Like, I know there's no service, which also, like, oh, such. That's such a scary thought. If this were me, I can't imagine, like, ever leaving my friend behind though. Like, knowing I'm clearly a more experienced hiker. Like, it's kind of on you that you let her come with you. So to leave her out there.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. I'm surprised that they didn't, like, you know, if they were still actively looking for her or when they finally got reception, I would have gone to the lodge just to visit. You know, I don't know if it was like, maybe because they needed to get back up at a certain point. Maybe it wasn't until they were back up that they learned that's where she was. But I don't know. I would have definitely either been like, okay, so you're at the lodge. Do you want us to come down and meet you? Or like, I don't know, what was the plan? Like, did they have an agreed plan? Or.

[Courtney Miller]

It seems like they were very structured out in their plan. Like, they spent six months planning and training for this. Which also, it's like, why would you invite someone else two weeks before you had this plan? Just stick to your plan. You don't know her level. Like, and again with the fitness like, she does CrossFit and appears fit. But like, you what and you saw her eating a salad on the way up. Why didn't. In that moment, why didn't you say like, hey, you really gonna need your energy. Like, you should consider having some pizza, pasta, a burger, like, I don't know, like more hike dense food, whatever that looks like.

[Unnamed Host]

But like, yeah, no, it sounds like they were very experienced. Cause like, in my mind, if I'm eating pizza and pasta or whatever, and I see that my friend's eating a salad, I'm like, huh, maybe they know more than me somehow. Or like, I don't know. But yeah, hiking. And it can be serious. You know, you're being left in the wilderness and even if it's a well known hike, like, it's scary, you really wanna be making sure. Like, I would have followed up with the ranger. I would have found any possible way before leav leaving that place to like physically check in with that friend.

[Courtney Miller]

I know.

[Unnamed Host]

Because they are kind of your responsibility in a way. Like, obviously we're. If you're three adults, you're doing a thing, but you brought this person to a place you were a lot more prepared for.

[Courtney Miller]

I know, that's how I feel. And then I think it really annoys me too with like, they were waiting around for her to get to that point and she's like, I don't know if I. You know, I'm kind of tired. I don't know if I'll be able to do the hour drive. So I'll just pay for her Uber.

[Unnamed Host]

Mm.

[Courtney Miller]

Are there even Ubers in the Grand Canyon?

[Unnamed Host]

I don't. No, no, definitely not. There's no way.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, is she gonna even be able to get an Uber out there?

[Unnamed Host]

And did. Well, did this friend ever reply to those messages?

[Courtney Miller]

No, they just left. They were already at their hotel, an hour away by the time they just left. So it's like you didn't even like, get ahold of her to be like, oh, okay. It's okay. You're actually, you're okay with taking the Uber, right?

[Unnamed Host]

There was no confirmation. That's weird.

[Courtney Miller]

I would. I would be really so mad.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, I don't think I would be.

[Courtney Miller]

Able to be friends with these people after this. Like, you literally could have. I could have died. And she almost did. She got sunstroke.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, sunstroke's pretty serious in the fact that they gave her an emergency bed. Like, all of that sounds really intense. I don't think I would feel right if my friend. If I was in this situation. Like, as the person who'd been planning this, like, I would have not been able to rest until I saw that person face to face. That, like, that day of the hike.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, intense stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. Especially, like, this is your friend. Like, even the most prepared, intense, like, good hikers, that one guy had to cut off his own arm to make it out. Like, yeah, crazy stuff can happen. There's animals, there's people out there that are just scary. Like the national park true crime stuff.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, Just anything unfamiliar like that. Like, it's a lot. And, you know, getting lost on a hike is really common and no joke, especially if you're fighting sunlight. Like, my dad and brother were firefighter paramedics who worked in air ops. Like, they did a lot of hike rescues. A lot. Oh, God. It's super common. If you just accidentally go off trail, you can't find your way back. Like, anything can happen out there.

[Courtney Miller]

I literally. Have you ever been to Malibu Creek State Park?

[Unnamed Host]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

I went up there and there's. There's, like this swim pool and, like, you can jump off the rocks and then there's, like, a hill that, like, it looks like it's going to be an easy, you know, climb and it would have a great view. And me and my friend went up there and we got to the top. Like, we didn't even make it to the top because it started to be, like, so high and, like, steep. But we got up and we're like, do we have to call a helicopter? Like, I don't know if we can safely get down. Like, just crazy stuff can happen to leave someone. I don't like it.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, no, I get that. At first I was like, well, it sounds like they had rangers and there's other safety protocols, but I still wouldn't want to leave that person alone to deal with those things, Especially if you're physically unwell.

[Courtney Miller]

And it was 100 degrees. We just had a heat wave here in LA.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I would literally be outside for 15 minutes. And I was like, I'm good. I'm done. Bye.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, yeah. Me and Shane tried to do a flea market, like the Rose bowl one.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, no.

[Unnamed Host]

And we shouldn't have lasted as long as we did. It was.

[Courtney Miller]

How long were you out there?

[Unnamed Host]

An hour on the blacktop and the.

[Courtney Miller]

Heat just radiates off the concrete.

[Unnamed Host]

I was sweating and, like, hurting. And we didn't buy anything, obviously. We couldn't even compute what currency was.

[Courtney Miller]

By the end, you're just, like, so hot. Like, oh, yeah. When you're like, I, I have like, like such a sensitivity to heat. It's like the Scandinavian in me. But I literally would be outside just standing there and when you are just not doing anything and you have sweat rolling down your back. No, no, I'm like, I'm going to.

[Unnamed Host]

Be, I feel like I'm just going to be mummified and just fall asleep forever.

[Courtney Miller]

I just can't handle the heat. Top comment on this one. When you are noticing she's eating a salad, I would have stopped her immediately. Better yet, don't invite people to go on difficult trails that you don't for sure know are experienced enough to have the long endurance required. Why not make sure she actually packed her food and water? So many opportunities here to back out or advise. Since you did invite her and have her as a part of your group, you also took on the responsibility of making sure she doesn't die, which is exactly what you said. Like, yeah, they're three adults. But she kind of still did like take her on. Never leave your team on the trail. Take her back up, send her to the hotel, anything except just leave her. You're the asshole. Next time, don't take people with you on potentially deadly hikes.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, like I know it's one thing to be like, yeah, it's a challenging hike, like do you want to come? But being like, no, let me preface. It's this long for some people and this long for if it's even more challenging for people, like, and being like we're giving you this food and water because you need all of it. Like, yeah, it's, it's hiking. Especially if it's challenging hike, you have to take it seriously. Like me and Shane have done really challenging hikes where we have to wake up super early. We don't just drink a couple water bottles. We bring like a camel back where it's like a bunch of water like on your back. He was very sweet. He made us little PB and J's at 5 in the morning and packed them in our backpack and made sure that we rested when we rested. And like definitely prefer doing it in the morning because you're not racing the sun as much.

[Courtney Miller]

That's really true.

[Unnamed Host]

You're racing the heat. But you still have light and can see.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Well.

[Courtney Miller]

And like the Grand Canyon doesn't seem like it would be one of those hikes where there's trees to provide shade either. Like somewhere like Yosemite or the Sequoia, like national forest. Like you're just getting blasted yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

And then, like, if you. If it's getting darker, like, it's scary. There's no. There's no, like, street lamps or any light. Like, it is scary.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm scared of the dark. I need to do this.

[Unnamed Host]

How do you do people do night hikes? I simply. I've done one before, I think when I was like, in sixth or seventh grade, and I hate it. I can't.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God. No. And then you start hearing, like, twigs snap around.

[Unnamed Host]

I'm a very paranoid person. I would be like, every moment, oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm like, I have anxiety. Just like, hearing this. Yeah. There's a bunch of comments, like, basically highlighting how intense and dangerous it is. There's one that mentions, like, people go missing on these hikes all the time. You're the asshole. You agree to take someone with you on a hike like that. You stick together. She could have died. Doesn't matter how much. She said to not worry about her. It's your job to worry about her when you're out doing something like that. That it's quite possible her condition was making her dismissive, in fact, but you completely ignored that to make it sound like she gave you a pass.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, no, I think that's honestly really fair. Also, when you're in the heat and stuff, maybe she's not even making the best calls, but you had multiple signs presented to you that this person wasn't on the same page. So you just being like, yeah, she says she's fine, so she's fine.

[Courtney Miller]

When she doesn't know she's fine, she's clearly not fine. Yeah, you just wanted an out because you were feeling bad and you were hoping that people would agree with you. Yeah, I think OP did realize that they were in the wrong because this post has been deleted by the person who originally posted it and their account has been deleted as well by them. So. Oops. Yeah, I think they realized. Okay, no update.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, wow. I hope better luck next time.

[Courtney Miller]

Try again. Another one of this week's partners is Robinhood. With Robinhood Gold, you don't need a silver spoon to eat up the financial favors of the 1%. Robinhood Gold allows you to get the rates and perks usually received for the high society. Now the resourceful individual with Robinhood Gold can earn the very liberal rate of 4.5% APY on uninvested cash, receive unlimited 1% deposit bonuses, and be rewarded with a handsome 3% retirement boost on an IRA account. Robinhood Gold provides the privileges of a high net worth for any net worth. These generous benefits are now available for only $5 a month. The new gold standard is here with Robinhood Gold. Sign [e-mail] Gold terms apply. For product specific disclosures, visit Robinhood.com Gold investing involves risk Rate may change. Gold membership is offered by Robinhood Gold llc. So this next one is coming from Am I the asshole? 13 days old it is titled Am I the Asshole for Not Giving My Sister My Wife's Clothes My wife was a corporate lawyer and mediator. She had some very nice work clothes. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was gone in two years. The last six months of her life were hell. My sister Sarah didn't do jack shit for us during that time. My wife never liked her and I do not like her. She is a selfish cow. Oh, at my wife's wake, she started asking about my wife's clothes and I brushed her off. She wanted to pick out a few pieces to remember my wife by and I ignored her. It's been six months and I've attended my mom's birthday, but I'm still not in the mood to deal with people. Then Sarah comes and starts asking about my wife's clothes again. I told her my wife wanted me to donate them to this women's shelter that she often helped at. It will help women in need with their own court cases, court appointments and job interviews. My sister Sarah said that my wife was even selfish in death. I asked her what the fuck did she mean and she started going off on how my wife always thought that she was better than her and it's not fair that the clothes are going to charity and not to family. I told my sister I would rather see my wife's clothes lit on fire than on her back. My sister started crying and my mom came over to see what was going on. My mom told me to be easy on my sister.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh my God.

[Courtney Miller]

Because she was taking my wife's death hard. The fucking insanity of that coming out of my mom's mouth made me grab my gift and leave. My mom acts like I had to ruin her birthday by being melodramatic, but I cannot believe their emotional blackmail towards me over fucking clothes that they have no right to. Am I the asshole?

[Unnamed Host]

Oh my goodness, no. Absolutely not.

[Courtney Miller]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

Saying she's selfish in death for literally donating to charity and also not even just like mindlessly donating to charity because people do that. We would be doing that but being conscious this is a women's shelter that she actively participated in and worked with with A specific, like, intention in mind with where her clothes were going.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it was very considerate and it.

[Unnamed Host]

Was a request before she passed. Honor it. Period. Even if it was selfish, Even if it was like, honor it, just honor it.

[Courtney Miller]

It's a beautiful thing. And yeah, it is what she wanted. And to start asking about these clothes at the wake, bro, she's not even in the ground yet. Literally not even in the ground. And you're concerned about her clothes? I don't care if it's a Chanel two piece suit. I don't give a flying fuck what it is. Be considerate, be kind, be caring, be empathetic. Be human. You're being a monster.

[Unnamed Host]

Absolutely. Like six months, he is still very much in grieving as well. So even six months out to bring it up again and then make it about you. And she escalated at first. She's saying some really insensitive, rude stuff about this woman who has passed away. And yeah, sure, my ears perked up. I'm like, dang, she must have a really nice wardrobe. That's cool. But even if you're family by marriage, that's a different layer of family. You are not entitled to that stuff by any means. If I had a loved one who had a partner who somehow I was being given that access to the clothes, I will be so honored, but never expect it. Like, I have a great grandmother who had passed and she had only one daughter, but that daughter went on to have so many kids and grandkids. Like, I was meeting new cousins until I was in my twenties. Oh my gosh, so many family. And so the fact that I was able to get even like one shirt and like a spoon and like a fridge magnet, I was like, this is special to me. Like, I don't know, I feel like it's even to expect anything, it feels a little off, you know, it's not about me. It's about. It's about this person. And it's far more about OP than it is about anybody else in that moment.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, I think you just nailed it all on the head. And it's like, like it's really not about her. And yet it's like being made about her. And it's like she's trying to be like, I want something to remember her by, but it's like you didn't care about her when she was here. Like, they were, by the sounds of it, struggling. The last six months of her life were hell. And you didn't help at all. You didn't bake a casserole you didn't. Like, it doesn't sound like you were helping at all. So, like, to remember her by. No, like, that's just a lie for you to get something.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Like, which is it? Are you trying to remember her or is she selfish?

[Courtney Miller]

Either.

[Unnamed Host]

In death, even in death. Like, you're saying both of these things so clearly. Wherever you're coming from, it's ingenuine. And, like, I feel really bad that Op's mom is on her side.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, that's weird.

[Unnamed Host]

It sounds really like they're both, like, selfish and are not considering the situation in the way they should be.

[Courtney Miller]

No. It's almost like she feels entitled to this, which is like, so, so strange. Cause it's like, not yours, not connected by blood. It's through marriage. You didn't like her. You didn't help when she was sick. And you think it's selfish that the clothes go to anyone but you.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay, you're weird.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Cause they're not going to waste. They're actually helping other people that need it way more than this sister.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, and that's such a thing too. Like, if you think about where they're going, like, to be able to go to a shelter where these women might be going to job interviews and might not have something that's, like, presentable to, you know, where to interview, like, that is the best place they could have gone.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, absolutely. And for anybody who had gotten it then, like, if it was like a Ralph Lauren suit or something, they can get a job or they can sell it and use that money towards something else in their life that they need, like, just so much more helpful. Then also, just the way that this sister went about it. Like, it's okay to want things, but it's like, the way she went about it is so inconsiderate.

[Courtney Miller]

I just can't. I just can't with this one. Top comment, not the asshole. Besides the fact that you are following your wife's wishes, your sister is acting like a vulture. And why is your mother worrying about your sister taking your wife's death hard when you were the one who lost their wife? So, no, you are doing nothing wrong here. You are still grieving, your sister is treating you like a thrift store, and your mother is completely ignoring your grief because another family member is better at being dramatic. Ooh, ouch on the money. Though there's only two comments from Op here, I would expect her to have some common sense and not ask in the first place. This is the first time I've even Seen her since my wife's funeral.

[Unnamed Host]

What?

[Courtney Miller]

Why is it always about these clothes?

[Unnamed Host]

It's like she was waiting to talk about it. That's the first time they've seen each other since the funeral.

[Courtney Miller]

And it doesn't even sound like there's been like, an outreach of, like, hey, how are you doing? I hope you're hanging in there okay. Like, what?

[Unnamed Host]

Nothing. Yeah. So, like, it just goes to show. And I'm just getting creeped out at the idea of them at the wake and this sister that quickly. Like, I don't know, because I don't think I've been to a wake in my adult life. But isn't, like, the wake is when the coffin is, like, open, right?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Depending on if they're awake.

[Courtney Miller]

Depending on if they do it or whatever. It's kind of. It's more of like a Catholic tradition, I thought, like, to have awake and like, usually it would be open, but a lot of people are still doing, like, services, like a visitation and calling it awake. I get confused with all the lingo, but it's. Yeah, it could be open. Could not be. Could be the little box. You just never know.

[Unnamed Host]

You never know. My fear was, like, if it was the traditional, true to term wake, that the sister's looking on this woman's body and being like, that jacket looks really nice.

[Courtney Miller]

I wonder if they're gonna take that off before she goes down in there. Probably. Like, what? What do they pick? Not the Chanel.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Not the Dior bracelet. Ugh.

[Unnamed Host]

You don't need to be buried with shoes. Come on.

[Courtney Miller]

The ring. I could see her just, like, please taking the jewelry off. You know there's people out there that do that shit.

[Unnamed Host]

No. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, she's not going to be buried with that ring.

[Unnamed Host]

I wouldn't put it past the sister. Truly.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, wild. The other comment from OP is someone asking, like, what would you have wanted your sister to do for you during this time? Which, like, okay, asshole. And Opie goes, anything. A word of encouragement while my wife was sick. Flowers, Kindness. So she didn't do literally anything.

[Unnamed Host]

That's wild. Literally nothing.

[Courtney Miller]

I hate her.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And that's a very interesting question. I think it's a fair question to ask of, like, what would you have wanted? But, like, it's like the proof's in the pudding of everything that the sister has said and done. Like, there's nothing to question here. She wasn't a nice person.

[Courtney Miller]

No. She doesn't deserve those clothes.

[Unnamed Host]

No. And the wife, you know, sounds like they were really, really Awesome.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. Trigger warning on this next one, friends. It does contain talks of child loss, so if you feel you can't handle that today, please skip ahead. Okay, last one for you. I'm giving you a choice on it.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay. The first option is from the 2 Hot Takes subreddit. It is titled Evil Step Grandmother stole my Wedding Day and Venue Or Am I the Asshole for purchasing a home with a pool and triggering my mother in law?

[Unnamed Host]

Oh boy. I know those both honestly sound good. Oh shoot. Wedding ones are always like gobble gobble gobble. But the pool one is intriguing because it's unique interest and I have personal experiences that might connect to it.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay, let's do it.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay. So this is four days old again titled Am I the Asshole for purchasing a home with a Pool and triggering my mother in law 37, female here I'm a mother to seven year old twins, boy and girl and a five year old girl. My husband and I decided to move back to our hometown so we could get closer to both of our families. Our hometown is a lazy beach town and I've been living in cities since college. It's not my ideal location if I'm honest, but I am excited about being outdoors and in the water more. My husband and I made a deal that since I agreed to move and find a new job that we would get a house with a pool, which is something I've wanted since I was a kid. It's not actually that serious, but it's something I've been excited about since we decided to move. My husband and I found the perfect house and we're currently in escrow. The house is walking distance from the beach and my parents and each of my kids get their own room and there's a pool with a water slide. We're all so excited. Some important context is that my husband was actually the oldest of four kids and the only girl in the family who was also the baby passed away when she was 11. Oh shit. She was swimming with her friends in a lake, got caught in some shrubbery and drowned. It was tragic for the entire family and I don't get the sense that my mother in law has ever recovered. My husband's home is filled with pictures of his little sister. The kid's bedroom is basically a shrine to her and my mother in law gets teary anytime she sees one of my two daughters. My mother in law has always been kind to me and is a wonderful grandmother and so it's difficult seeing her. So sad. Yesterday my husband and I were on FaceTime with his parents and I sent them pictures of the house we're moving into. My mother in law's face went white and she asked how we could possibly move into a house with a pool with three young children. I explained that my kids are all great swimmers and we've told them that there's absolutely no swimming without one of us there and that we're getting a gate with a lock and alarm installed around the pool so that they can't get into it without us. My mother in law started crying and saying that drowning is the leading cause of death for young people. She also said she couldn't believe we'd be so reckless with the lives of our three beautiful children. My husband tried to calm her down, but she was furious and hung up the phone.

[Unnamed Host]

Whoa.

[Courtney Miller]

My husband now feels terrible and says we should have thought more about moving into a house with a pool. He's not worried about something happening to our kids because we're going to take the proper precautions. He's worried about his mom's mental health. He says his parents will never be able to come over now because his mom will be watching the kids and the pool obsessively. He also says we're probably not going to be able to do holidays or parties at our house because his mom will be even more anxious with all of her young grandkids near the pool. I've seen her anxiety around kids in the water firsthand. Once we were at a family reunion and there was a lazy river at the hotel and my 4 year old nephew who couldn't swim was wearing a life vest and flipped over for about two seconds. My mother in law jumped in. She was wearing a dress and heels and grabbed him right away. Please tell me if I'm a total asshole, but I don't think we were wrong to purchase a house with a pool. My mother in law has serious trauma, which I understand, but if we listened to all of her worries, our kids wouldn't be able to do anything. For example, our son wants to take surfing lessons and my mother in law is against this because she also thinks that the ocean is too dangerous. We also put our youngest daughter in swim lessons very early, a bit over a year old because we wanted her to be safe and comfortable in the water. My mother in law said this was way too young and dangerous and I said it was a great teacher and I was in the water during the lessons. My mother in law was still furious. All of this to say maybe we were a bit too insensitive moving into A house with a pool. But she's triggered by much of what we do. So am I the asshole that sucks?

[Unnamed Host]

And it's what I thought.

[Courtney Miller]

Really? Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. It's really tough, and that's really sad. And losing a child, period, is devastating. And, like, it's a dangerous thing. Like owning a pool. It's a dangerous thing. My cousin drowned in my family's pool.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, no.

[Unnamed Host]

When I. I don't remember it, but my older siblings remember it. And, like, my mom was never the same, but we still have the pool. And we did have a gate then, but it was a gate that was faulty and hadn't been fixed. And so that happened. And, yeah, like, it's super. It's super common, but it sounds like OP was really intentional with this. And it's not like they were carelessly choosing a home that happened to have a pool. They wanted that for themselves. And, like, I think that the grandmother is obviously valid in her concerns, but you can't impact other people's lives so heavily like that. Like, I specifically got frustrated about this. Child has a dream to learn how to surf. You can't let your own personal stuff that isn't 100% going to happen to every person affect this child's future. You never know what you're affecting. Like, you can't do that.

[Courtney Miller]

No. And it's like, if it's not the pool, then it's the ocean that's walking distance away.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Like, are your kids allowed to get wet?

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I know.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, and also, the grandma's not always around. She's not aware that these kids probably go to the pool at other instances. But, like, it sounds like OP really practices pool safety. And, like, there's only so much you can do to cushion another person's fears. It's a serious topic. But, like, this grandma needs to either get some therapy. I know it's like she's probably late in her life, but it's like, these are generations to come that you're reducing. You're limiting their lives in a lot of ways. And, like, this mom, OP wanted a pool since she was a kid, and that was one of the things that they wanted. Everyone else is happy about it. I'm gonna keep ranting just for one more. Like, these kids, she was making a point to teach these kids how to swim at an early age. And even that was upsetting to the grandmother.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, that's what you wanna do.

[Unnamed Host]

You don't want them to not know how to swim, because then if they accidentally fall in at that Age, then they're never gonna be okay. What is the per. There's no perfect way to handle this.

[Courtney Miller]

Clearly. And those swim classes, especially when they're so young, are so amazing. They will actually have the kids, like, in a lot of them fully dressed, and they'll like, push the kid in the pool, like, unexpectedly, which, like, I don't know, could be a little traumatic for them. But then they like, they teach them like, okay, if you fall in with your clothes on, this is what you should do. Try to just like flip over and float to get, like, air. Like, there's like so many of those early intervention swim classes that teach them life saving skills. So to like, be upset about that, it is interesting. But, like, first and foremost, like, thank you for picking this story and being like, so willing to share with something you have such a personal connection to because, like, you very easily could have picked the other one. And like, it is like a hard thing to talk about, but it can affect so many people. Like, I mean, there's so many people that invented, like, swim safety things because of a traumatic thing that they went through. So I think this actually does affect a lot of people. But. But I don't think I have much else to say. Like, I think you hit it on the head with, like, she needs to go to therapy. And I know a lot of, like, older generation, like, they don't necessarily buy into that. And she could be very set in her ways, but I can't imagine just like living with that constant anxiety. She doesn't deserve to have that. And if there's any bit of peace she could find with therapy, like, it's worth giving a shot.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And I also wonder, like, obviously the daughter was really young when she drowned, but, like, do you think that that person would want that for generations to come, to never be able to enjoy life? And like, the fact that it was like a lake and a shrug, like, that's a really unfortunate but very specific situation.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, just wild.

[Unnamed Host]

Alternately. Shane drowned when he was young. Young. Young. Like, I think a toddler, like, what, like under a year or a year old? Yeah. He's like, this is known in the smosh lore and they joke about it all the time, but yeah. And his mom resuscitated him. It's super common. It's super common.

[Courtney Miller]

Holy shit. I didn't. Okay. Like, you have firsthand experience. He literally, like, what it is. This is way more common than I would have expected.

[Unnamed Host]

Totally. But I don't think it should limit people's, like, lives to that Degree Like I would even go so far as to I want to still be able to have family gatherings, but maybe I'll hire a lifeguard for that.

[Courtney Miller]

That's super smart.

[Unnamed Host]

So even if there isn't parents actively watching, there's someone literally being paid to do that.

[Courtney Miller]

Like that is really, really smart.

[Unnamed Host]

Something like that.

[Courtney Miller]

A little genius over there just like you, you know. Wow. And that would be such an easy fix. Or like literally, like no one goes outside. There's no pool access during family events. That is a boundary. Like there's also like, you can do the fence, the gate, the alarm, everything they're doing. But I've also seen this one. Like it literally goes atop the cross.

[Unnamed Host]

Those really good pool covers.

[Courtney Miller]

It's like almost like a net. But like you can have a full fledged 200 pound adult step on it and they just like bob on the water.

[Unnamed Host]

I've seen those. Those are cool.

[Courtney Miller]

Like there's so many ways they could do and like have the mother in law come over and test it. Like here you stand on it. See, it's safe. Kids accidentally get past the gate, get past the alarm. They're still good. Like maybe smooth her fears. But I don't think you're the asshole for buying the house you want. I mean, it's tough and you feel bad for her and you want a good relationship with her. But you also, like you said, you do have to keep living your life and not live in bubble wrap. That's not reasonable.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, you want them to know how to handle those situations too. Because grandma can't be around always and like this kid wants to surf. I think that's amazing. Surfing is scary and hard, but going to the beach, like I can't even. Sometimes I'm too scared to go in the ocean because those waves be pounding down. I know I'm like, am I gonna make it? But like, yeah, like you can't. Oh, that when it starts impacting the potential futures of generations to come in a negative way, it's like, come on. Like, let's break the cycle.

[Courtney Miller]

You know, I think they need to. It's time. It's time to break it and maybe get grandma some therapy, which is what the top comment mentions. Okay, mother in law needs therapy. She's never really dealt with her loss. And then. Next comment. Yeah, and the kids may not understand why grandma is so sad looking at them. That has to be confusing. Next comment. My grandmother cried when I was a kid because she wanted a girl despite only choosing to have one kid, which was my dad. Now she cries because I look like him. And he died. My granddad told me in secrecy that he can't even look my brother in the eyes anymore. It just makes me feel like shit. And I'm not going to tell my brother what was said. I get missing him, but you can't even look at us. Jesus.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. At a certain point, you're putting certain things ahead of others that you know. This person who passed obviously was an important person, but you also have these other loved ones right in front of you right now. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. No comments from op. No update account has been suspended at this point in time.

[Unnamed Host]

Interesting.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Which I wouldn't have pegged this one to be one of those, like, I don't know, interesting. But maybe we'll get an update from a new account or something like that. But, Courtney, thank you so much for coming on.

[Unnamed Host]

Thanks for having me. This was really great.

[Courtney Miller]

I feel bad that I picked a journey. I picked a story at the end.

[Unnamed Host]

That's. No, it's kind of sad. But I truly, like, I hope that family, they picked an amazing home. That sounds like heaven to me. A pool and walking distance from the beach.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, it's beautiful.

[Unnamed Host]

Don't let the past ruin a potential paradise life for you guys. And, yeah, your show is so great. You have great stories. You pick great stories.

[Courtney Miller]

I was sitting here stressing all morning. I went over them with Jenna. I was like, what about this one? Ooh, this one's not. No. This isn't good enough for Courtney. No. So I'm so happy to have you on. You do amazing work over at Smosh. You have so much going on. But where can people. Where do you want to send them? Where do you want them to engage with you? Because you have your own YouTube channel. But then you're, you know, you're big at Smosh, so where would you like people to find you?

[Unnamed Host]

Thank you. You can catch me on Smosh Pit. Smosh games. Smosh main channel, where we have a new show called Bit City.

[Courtney Miller]

Ooh.

[Unnamed Host]

It's really fun. It's kind of like our own little late night show meets SNL where we're doing sketches and stuff. It's really fun. Check it out. It's really good. And then, yeah, there might be some new stuff coming out, but it's too soon to say I'm Komal on social media if you want to check me out there.

[Courtney Miller]

I know I was creeping on your Instagram and your fashion sense. I'm just, like, obsessed. I'm like, okay, where's that necklace from Actually, I'll send the link. Okay, good. I've been staring at it all day. I'm like, I love it.

[Unnamed Host]

This is actually our CEO's sister who makes jewelry. So I'll definitely say it's beautiful.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it's beautiful.

[Unnamed Host]

Thank you.

[Courtney Miller]

Thank you again. Head over to Patreon if you want some more crazy stories. September has a unreal full bonus episode with Lauren of more of our need a minute to decompress theme. There's going to be some live show content, so head over there. Other than that, until next time, guys. Bye Bye. Bye.

[C]

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