193: Genuinely Self-Absorbed?..

Summary

Podcast Summary: Episode 193 – "Genuinely Self-Absorbed?..”

Podcast Information

• Title: Two Hot Takes
• Host: Morgan Absher
• Co-Host: Michaela Oakland
• Release Date: November 28, 2024
• Description: Join Morgan Absher and Michaela Oakland as they delve into the most compelling Reddit, listener write-ins, and internet stories, offering their candid opinions on dating, relationships, life, and AITA narratives.

---

Introduction: Setting the Theme

In Episode 193, titled "Genuinely Self-Absorbed?..”, Morgan Absher and co-host Michaela Oakland explore the nuanced territory of self-absorption and self-centeredness within various interpersonal dynamics. Drawing inspiration from the musical Wicked, they aim to dissect situations where individuals grapple with genuine self-centered behavior versus facade-driven narcissism.

Notable Quote:

• Morgan (00:00): “It is, honestly, so, so well done.” (Referring to the Broadway adaptation of Wicked)

---

Story 1: Am I the Asshole for Not Inviting My Mother to Wedding Dress Shopping?

Timestamp: [05:03] – [15:08]

The first narrative revolves around a 25-year-old woman planning her wedding who chooses to exclude her narcissistic and unsupportive mother from the emotionally taxing experience of wedding dress shopping. Her mother's dismissive and critical remarks have historically undermined her self-esteem, leading to strained interactions.

Key Points & Discussions:

• Emotional Trauma: The protagonist’s past experiences, including her mother's hurtful comments during prom dress shopping, contribute to her decision to seek validation elsewhere.
• Self-Absorption vs. Genuine Concern: Morgan and Michaela debate whether the mother's inability to provide maternal support stems from genuine self-absorption or deeper narcissistic tendencies.
• Gray Rock Method: Morgan introduces this behavioral strategy as a means to handle manipulative individuals by becoming uninteresting to them, thus reducing their control over her emotional state.
• Family Dynamics: The role of the father as an enabler who sides with the toxic mother further complicates the protagonist's ability to seek support.

Notable Quotes:

• Morgan (05:39): “That's, I think my least favorite part about the wedding planning.”
• Michaela (09:09): “This is abuse. It is abuse.”
• Morgan (12:01): “Do not start with that. Delete that.”

Conclusion on Story 1: Both hosts empathize with the protagonist, affirming that excluding an unsupportive parent from significant life events is justified. They highlight the importance of self-care and setting boundaries in toxic familial relationships.

---

Story 2: Am I the Ahole for Still Going to My Sister's Wedding After My Husband Canceled My Plane Ticket?**

Timestamp: [15:08] – [39:42]

This emotionally charged story features a woman whose husband exhibits controlling behavior by canceling her plane ticket to attend her sister's wedding, forcing her to drive four hours to the event instead. The husband’s manipulative tactics are further evidenced by his accusation of her neglecting their children and emotional abuse.

Key Points & Discussions:

• Controlling Behavior: The husband's unilateral decision-making and emotional manipulation are dissected as classic signs of an abusive relationship.
• Gaslighting and Emotional Abuse: The hosts discuss how the husband invalidates her feelings and attempts to make her feel guilty for prioritizing her sister's wedding.
• Support Systems: Michaela and Morgan emphasize the importance of external support, such as friends, in escaping abusive situations.
• Red Flags: The involvement of the husband's mother and the husband's history of controlling actions are highlighted as additional red flags signaling a toxic environment.

Notable Quotes:

• Morgan (26:11): “He wants your wife completely under Your thumb and control.”
• Michaela (27:04): “Calling her a neglectful parent. She left the house for one day, for one night.”
• Morgan (30:20): “Your sister is a control freak.”

Conclusion on Story 2: Morgan and Michaela strongly condemn the husband's actions, pointing out the severe emotional and psychological abuse inflicted upon the protagonist. They advocate for the woman to prioritize her well-being and the well-being of her children over the husband's manipulative demands.

---

Story 3: Am I the Ahole for Telling My Girlfriend I Don't Want to Sell My Family Heirlooms Despite Her Imposed Morality?**

Timestamp: [74:06] – [111:26]

In this story, a 25-year-old woman grapples with her vegetarian girlfriend's desire to sell or destroy family heirlooms that include animal products like taxidermied animal heads and fur garments. The conflict arises from differing moral and ethical perspectives regarding animal rights and the sentimental value of family possessions.

Key Points & Discussions:

• Cultural and Ethical Differences: The hosts explore how deeply ingrained family heirlooms can create conflicts when intertwined with contemporary ethical stances such as vegetarianism.
• Timing of Conflict: The recent passing of the grandmother adds emotional complexity, as the protagonist wishes to delay decisions to grieve.
• Sentimental Value vs. Ethical Beliefs: Morgan and Michaela discuss the balance between preserving family history and respecting a partner's moral convictions.
• Potential Ulterior Motives: There's speculation about whether the girlfriend's stance may be influenced by other factors, such as financial gain, though this remains unconfirmed.

Notable Quotes:

• Michaela (97:46): “If it's just her fighting for her beliefs, then Penny shouldn’t be the asshole.”
• Morgan (105:18): “She’s a controlling, crazy person. You have to run.”
• Michaela (105:08): “She’s not expecting your money, so chill out on that.”

Conclusion on Story 3: The hosts recognize the validity of the protagonist's feelings, emphasizing that holding onto family heirlooms is not inherently selfish. They suggest open communication and mutual respect for differing values as essential for resolving such conflicts, while also acknowledging the challenges posed by deeply rooted ethical disagreements.

---

Story 4: Am I the Ahole for Wanting My Wife to Respect My Football Time After Having a Child?**

Timestamp: [75:04] – [129:57]

This story features a 30-year-old man upset that his 30-year-old wife wishes to reduce his dedicated football-watching time after the birth of their child. The wife's demands for more shared responsibilities conflict with the husband's passion for football, creating tension in their relationship.

Key Points & Discussions:

• Balancing Personal Interests and Family Responsibilities: Morgan and Michaela delve into how personal hobbies can clash with the demands of parenthood.
• Communication and Compromise: The importance of negotiating time and finding a middle ground that respects both partners' needs is a focal point.
• Self-Absorption and Control: The hosts critique the wife's approach as overly demanding and lacking empathy for the husband's established routines.
• Impact on Relationship Dynamics: There's an exploration of how such conflicts can strain marital harmony, especially when compounded by the responsibilities of raising a child.

Notable Quotes:

• Michaela (75:04): “You have to have a little give and take.”
• Morgan (126:33): “Why are you willing to take care of his shortcomings when you have the same hours in a day?”
• Michaela (129:38): “She has to watch the baby all weekend so we can watch football.”

Conclusion on Story 4: The discussion underscores the necessity for both partners to adapt and prioritize their relationship and family over individual interests. The hosts advocate for proactive communication and mutual adjustments to ensure that both partners feel valued and supported, especially in the transformative period following the arrival of a child.

---

Conclusion: Navigating Self-Absorption in Relationships

Throughout Episode 193, Morgan and Michaela provide insightful analyses of various scenarios where self-absorption negatively impacts relationships. They emphasize the importance of empathy, communication, and setting healthy boundaries to foster mutually respectful and supportive partnerships. The hosts encourage listeners to recognize and address self-centered behaviors, whether in themselves or their partners, to maintain harmonious and fulfilling relationships.

Final Notable Quote:

• Morgan (84:43): “You never know. Like, that's life.”

---

Connect with Morgan Absher:

• Instagram: @morgsyabsher
• Patreon: Listen to Exclusive Stories
• YouTube: Two Hot Takes Channel

Thank you for tuning into Two Hot Takes! For more in-depth discussions and exclusive content, follow us on Instagram and subscribe to our Patreon.

Transcript

[Michaela]

Nothing on your forehead.

[Morgan]

Oh, thank God.

[Michaela]

Where to go?

[Morgan]

I literally. I was editing that YouTube video, and I was like, what the heck? And I realized it after, when we were, like, doing our stills. I, like, held the phone up and I was like, oh, no.

[Michaela]

I, like, at one point, thought, there, but then I was like, oh, that's just like, a vein. Because it was, like, right where a vein would be. And then I was. Because I don't have the best vision. Although now. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay, so no lie lines today.

[Michaela]

No lines.

[Morgan]

We're already doing better there. I'm still, like, sitting here in shock about the fact you just asked me to go caroling, though.

[Michaela]

Well, I think, like, you would bring something special to the mix, to the choir. We've got an alto section. We've got our tenors. We've got our baritones. We need to have our bucket holder.

[Morgan]

I'm like, I can hold a bucket and ring a triangle. Ooh, wait, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michaela]

You have the triangle. We gotta get you a good instrument.

[Morgan]

Cowbell.

[Michaela]

The thing with the belt. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Is that the egg shakers?

[Michaela]

Yeah, Trombone. The circle with all the bells on it. And you, like. And.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God, Esmeralda has one in Hunchback of Notre Dame. What is that? Tambourine.

[Michaela]

Tambourine. I.

[Morgan]

You were close.

[Michaela]

I was hunting.

[Morgan]

You were close.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. I'm really excited to have this theme today.

[Michaela]

I am, too.

[Morgan]

I'm like, this was all your. This was your idea.

[Michaela]

It was. It was Fiera's idea. It was Jonathan Bailey's idea.

[Morgan]

Where my Wicked people at? I need to go again. I'm so jealous. You're going for the fourth time tomorrow.

[Michaela]

Yeah, and I have the fifth time all scheduled as well. But that's because my family hasn't gone. And when I go home for Thanksgiving, I'm making them go with me.

[Morgan]

Okay, that's fair.

[Michaela]

But I've never been like this about any movie. It was like, I'm not gonna go.

[Morgan]

Have you? You've. Obviously, you've seen the original Broadway.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And I will say, I understand a lot of people don't love musicals. Totally understand. But like, my brother, who doesn't really like musicals, he fell asleep during Phantom of the Opera on Broadway.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

He enjoyed Wicked. It's sort of like it can meet people because it's a little bit more poppy, a little bit funnier. So I would give it a chance. That's. That's all I'm saying.

[Morgan]

I think everyone needs to. It is, honestly, so, so well done.

[Michaela]

It's so fun.

[Morgan]

So well done. I loved it. And I just saw the Broadway musical, like, a month ago.

[Michaela]

Oh, no way.

[Morgan]

Yeah. So for me, it was like. It was so fresh. And I was like, wait, this is. It's incredible. I love Broadway. I am, like, considering going to New York because I have, like, a free flight that I need to use. And I'm like, maybe I'll go to New York by myself and just go see some musicals for, like, that's. I'd go with you.

[Michaela]

I'd go watch musicals with you.

[Morgan]

Okay, let's do it. Have you seen the new Great Gatsby?

[Michaela]

No. And I. I just read the great guest book for the first time.

[Morgan]

Okay. This meant to be, like, two weeks ago. Actually, it's meant to be also because it's shorter.

[Michaela]

And I'm trying to hit my Goodreads reading goal for the year, so that's, like, what happens.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Justin told me you were trying to hit 30 books in the next month or something.

[Michaela]

Yeah, my goal is 100. I'm at 74. Okay. The thing is, I actually have six books. I have six other books that I did read that aren't on my Goodreads.

[Morgan]

Because you can count those.

[Michaela]

They're so embarrassing. I couldn't even claim them publicly.

[Morgan]

Oh.

[Michaela]

You know, sometimes that's how I feel.

[Morgan]

About some of the smut Shapeshifter books I read. I'm like, I. I shouldn't tell people about those.

[Michaela]

Yeah, I had, like, a reverse harem phase, so we don't have to even.

[Morgan]

No, you can count those. That's fine. That's fine.

[Michaela]

Yeah, yeah, let's put it on there. Let's get up to 80.

[Morgan]

Let's go. Okay. So, hi, guys. I'm Morgan, by the way. This is two hot takes if you're new.

[Michaela]

I'm Michaela. Hi.

[Morgan]

Hi. So the theme Michaela came up with is, like, genuinely self concerned or self centered.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

There's a line in Wick. This is where it came from. Because one of the people says that he. Oh, well, Alphabet says to Fiero, that's why you pretend to be self absorbed and shallow. And he's like, there is no pretense. I happen to be genuinely self absorbed and shallow, so. Genuinely self absorbed. Because a lot of these bitches do happen to be genuinely self absorbed on these stories.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And that's what a lot of these are. And maybe we'll put a question mark at the end for the title and we'll kind of determine if it's their self centered Self absorbed or like something else is going on here? Because they're very confusing. Like, I read a couple of these and I'm like, I'm Bamboozled.

[Michaela]

I like that.

[Morgan]

Bamboozled.

[Michaela]

I like that a lot. I like the question mark.

[Morgan]

Question mark.

[Michaela]

And hey, that's true to the movie as well. I'm done. That's the last thing I say about it. I swear to God.

[Morgan]

The whole episode is actually wicked today. The whole thing. But are you ready?

[Michaela]

The movie's just gonna start playing. Yeah, yeah.

[Morgan]

Intro. It's not two hot takes. Neon. It's wicked. Part 1.5.

[Michaela]

Whoa.

[Morgan]

Okay, let's dive. Okay. This first one, wedding dress shopping. I'm considering going for the first time in a week.

[Michaela]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

I'm like, really nervous. I, like, don't want to go.

[Michaela]

Why?

[Morgan]

I don't know. I'm like, really nervous about it. I'm just like, nah. It's one of those things that's like. That's, I think my least favorite part about the wedding planning. I don't know why. I'm like, who do I invite? You can piss people off by not inviting them.

[Michaela]

Were you ever the type of person who saved wedding dresses at any point.

[Morgan]

On a Pinterest and such? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. I got a board. I know what I want, but I'm scared to go and try on stuff and then feel bad. Yeah, I don't want to feel bad.

[Michaela]

No, I get that. That makes sense. Or like, what if I don't find it? What if I never find it? What if everything ends up not being what I thought it would be? Yeah, that makes sense.

[Morgan]

All of that.

[Michaela]

I don't think it's going to go that way though.

[Morgan]

Okay, well, this story doesn't make me feel great about it.

[Michaela]

Yay.

[Morgan]

So it's coming from Am I the Asshole? It's titled, am I the asshole for not inviting my mother to go wedding dress shopping and then buying the one without her. I am a 25 female planning my wedding for next year. I am very early in the process but have started going dress shopping for context. I haven't always had the best relationship with my mom. She tends to be a bit narcissistic and negative towards everything. But I've learned to get used to it. Since I was raised by her backstory, I've never felt very feminine and usually tend to portray a tomboy vibe. While growing up, she would always make comments of my weight or appearance. Or even one time while prom dress shopping, I said I wanted to feel beautiful in my dress. And she said, quote, well, you aren't beautiful. Oh, you're cute, but you'll never be beautiful.

[Michaela]

This is really bad.

[Morgan]

So moral of the story. The first two times I went dress shopping for my wedding gown, I took her with me because I wanted validation from her and I wanted her to think I looked beautiful. I know it's dumb to do, but it's a trauma thing and I realize it's a me issue. Anyway, during each of those dress fittings, she wouldn't say anything necessarily bad or negative, but she was just overall disinterested or somehow made it about herself. At one point I even broke down crying in the middle of the store because of her lack of presence. I was very hurt by her lack of interest or maternal warmth. So I decided that the next time I went, I would try on some dresses without her just to see if I feel less anxious or stress. I happened to find a dress I loved and bought that day. It was a much better time overall as well, and I enjoyed it. A part of me felt slightly guilty for not including her, but mainly upset that she wasn't offering the emotional support or maternal comfort that I would hope to get from my mother. But I got over it until my dad called. He then told me how hurt and bothered she is that I didn't even tell her I was going, let alone invite her. And she is embarrassed because her friends are asking details and she wasn't made aware of any of them because she wasn't included in the last dress fitting. He wants me to apologize to her because I hurt her feelings, but she won't even answer my calls and very briefly will respond to a text with a one word answer. I'm seeing her in person tomorrow, but I can't tell if I'm the asshole for not including her in a special moment for her also, or am I justified in my initial thoughts and actions?

[Michaela]

Oh my God. I would go off. I would go off and be like, do you know how you've spoken to me my entire childhood? That's so sad. Why does she talk to her? This is like an issue though. This is a thing. There is a certain unfortunately genre of mothers to daughters who act like this. And it's the perfect first story for this theme because yes, she is genuinely self absorbed and also sometimes then they take their daughter as like a reflection of themselves. And.

[Morgan]

I know that's what's hard. So I read this one and I don't know, I have not looked into research about this, but I Would be very curious. It feels like with people, moms more so specifically. This is like my little hypothesis. It feels like moms that are narcissists or have like more of these narcissistic traits have a harder time raising daughters than they do sons. It feels like if they're a narcissistic mom and they have a daughter, it's almost like a competition between them. Like the mom looks at it like that versus if they have a son, they don't have as much of a problem with a son.

[Michaela]

Yeah. Or it's like you have to do xyz, because if not, like, you're a reflection of me, you're a younger me, so you're going to do the dream that I didn't get to do. Or like. Or like they use them as a tool to achieve what they think they should have achieved in ways as well.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

It can go so many different ways. But this is such a dangerous. Like, I know so many people who had experiences like this, not as frequently with comments like that from their mothers, but just like little comments about like, their way or the way they looked on important nights like prom or something like that. And it's so damaging. Of course you wouldn't want her there when you're trying on your wedding dress, which, as you were just saying, is like already a stressful. You want people to cry. You want people to be like, oh, my God, this is the most beautiful you've ever looked. You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I know. I'm blown away. And the comment from prom too, because, like, that was a very important time.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And it's like, well, you aren't beautiful. You're cute, but you'll never be beautiful.

[Michaela]

What the fuck? Like, sorry, what?

[Morgan]

Every single fucking person is beautiful in their own way. Like, and to say that to your daughter who just said, like, I want to be. I want to feel beautiful in my dress. Like, you're. She'll never be. What?

[Michaela]

Like, I don't even. An enemy shouldn't speak to you like that, let alone your mother.

[Morgan]

No, no. Dude, I just realized one of my biggest pet peeves is the preface with all due respect.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, okay, if you're saying that and then you say something extremely negative afterwards, it's not fucking respectful. It's not. All due respect. Like, that's actually. That's so disrespectful. And you prefacing it almost put me in fight or flight mode. Yeah. So maybe don't say that. Don't start with that. Delete that.

[Michaela]

I always try to understand people's intent with words, right? Like, maybe it came off wrong, but what was the intent behind it? And I cannot imagine any positive, well meaning intent behind saying that. No, I really can't.

[Morgan]

No. And then let's talk about, like, the self absorbed side of this.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Oh, well, you're embarrassing me in front of my friends because I couldn't even provide them details. So you only care what other people think about you. You want to look like this doting, amazing mom to your friends when that is the furthest thing from reality.

[Michaela]

And can she ask? Can't she just ask? It's like, it's so stupid. Can't you just be like, what does the dress look like? It looks so if you were a normal, well functioning human being, you could say, I'm sure. You look so beautiful. I'm so excited to see it. What does it look like? And then you would know. But instead you're not speaking to her.

[Morgan]

You're stonewalling her, you're punishing her.

[Michaela]

It's your fault at every turn.

[Morgan]

No, this is extremely toxic. And I completely understand why OP is, like, questioning everything, because look at the relationship you have. You're being gaslit by not only your mom with the stonewalling punishment, emotional psychological manipulation, but your dad's calling and chiming in.

[Michaela]

Right?

[Morgan]

Your dad is enabling her toxic behavior. So it's no wonder you can't tell which is up or down or.

[Michaela]

Absolutely. You're so used to it that you feel like that's normal. And I think that that's what happens a lot in these Reddit stories is, like, people who are so used to a certain dynamic in their relationship reaching out for an outside opinion because, you know, maybe they've gotten to a point where they've spoken to friends who've said, yeah, that's not normal. That's not how my relationship with my family is. Like, that's not very nice. And now they're questioning. But again, yeah, like, the dad even is doubling down. So it's like, what is real? I need more opinions. And thank God we have this.

[Morgan]

I know. So overall, vote on this one. Not the asshole. Top comment. They quote Opie's mom. She said, well, you aren't beautiful. You're cute. You'll never be beautiful.

[Michaela]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

Wow, that's really hurtful. I'm so sorry. You are not the asshole here, but your mother, she's a real piece of work. You did what you needed to do for yourself. Because your mother is so unsupportive. And I would tell my father that if I were you. He's her flying monkey sent to try and make you feel bad. Well, you have no reason to feel bad or guilty. In my opinion. You don't owe her a thing. She's embarrassed. Too bad. She's attempting to make this all about her. Are you familiar with the Gray Rock Method? Look into it. Your special moment is your special moment. She's using emotional manipulation to deflate your joy and make your wedding about her. You are justified.

[Michaela]

Wait, what's the Gray Rock Method?

[Morgan]

Gray rocking is where you make yourself, like, uninteresting to a narcissist or someone who's, like, trying to. Trying to mess with you. You don't really engage. You just kind of, like, give them the bare minimum to a point where they, like, fall. You're. They're. You become so uninterested to them.

[Michaela]

Whoa.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I'm sure there's a better way that.

[Michaela]

I don't know. I can't believe I've never heard of that.

[Morgan]

It's a big therapy tool. Yeah. So it's a phrase. Gray rock is a metaphor for a way to deflect or diffuse further abuse from a partner, family member, or a coworker. Simply put, the Gray Rock method is when a person who is enduring abuse purposefully acts as boring as possible during encounters with their abuser.

[Michaela]

Whoa.

[Morgan]

So you don't give them anything to, like, bite back. It's so challenging to do, like, especially if you're, like, used to having, like, that, like, argumentative relationship with someone where you're just, like, trying to defend yourself. It's. It's innately within us to want to defend ourselves, but, like, you have to just be like, oh, okay, yeah, I see your side.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I think politics is, like, the greatest example of it.

[Michaela]

Right. I was. That's exactly where my mind was going with some certain relationships.

[Morgan]

Well, and Thanksgiving, like, this episode, I think, comes out on Thanksgiving.

[Michaela]

Wait, this is such a good. This is such good timing. A lot of people need this before going home with their families.

[Morgan]

Especially politics.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So it's like. It's like, well, didn't you. Don't you know that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, does this and that and that, and it's like, no, but I guess I'll look into it. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. Right, Done.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, oh, that's great. Something for me to consider. Thanks for sharing.

[Michaela]

Because these people like that personality type, they want to either get a big reaction out of you. Or, like, be the victim of something. Like, find something you said that they can cling on to and be like, look, they said this to me. So if you don't give them anything, then you're not a fun play toy anymore.

[Morgan]

No, it's. It's so hard to do. But it. It works. I love that it works. There is another comment after that. Don't forget she went twice with her mother and became so upset she cried. Then she went alone and found a dress. Yeah, that's not a coincidence, right? That's something I was going to say. I'm like, the one time you go without her, you find the dress. No, you were just so stressed and miserable and unhappy. You weren't even opening your heart for the right dress. Like, it wasn't a fun experience. It wasn't. You didn't feel good about yourself or the dresses. Like, it's not a coincidence.

[Michaela]

I mean, it was very nice for her to let her mother come to the first two anyway. Even the second after how the first one went, like, she's really given her chances. She's tried to make her included. I would love it if she could. I mean, maybe she's already done this at some point in their life. Just be like, this is the way you've made me feel my whole life. But I don't know, maybe that would be the opposite of a gray rock. That'd be a sparkly rainbow rock. And it would give her even more to.

[Morgan]

It would give her more complain and whine about. Yeah, I know. I wonder. And this is where our therapists chime in, right? I wonder if you, like, especially because, like, she's probably going to be at the wedding, she's going to see her in the dress and kind of already, like, anticipating her reaction. It's like you almost want to tell her and like, draw a boundary where it's like, hey, I picked my dress. I'm really excited about it. If you don't say anything positive, like, I'm not going to engage with you.

[Michaela]

Right?

[Morgan]

Like, I don't want you in the bridal suite then getting ready with me. Like, you almost set the boundary because someone like that, that didn't have a say in the dress you picked and was excluded air quotes. Like, in her eyes, she's going to be like, well, that's not what I would have gone with. Or it's okay, right? You already can anticipate those comments as a further form of punishment. So it's like, I'd be curious from a Therapist point of view and, like, using therapy talk. Like, what would be a good way to kind of avoid any of that with this woman?

[Michaela]

Yeah, like, do you say something or.

[Morgan]

Do you just gray rock it out?

[Michaela]

Yeah, but that's what is so hard. An element of what's so hard about weddings is, like, if you don't have a great relationship with your mother or she talks to you like that, then if you don't include her in the bridal suite or like you were saying, then that's a big issue. Or if you don't have a great relationship with your father and you don't want to do, like, the walking down the aisle or the daddy daughter dance or whatever, then that's a huge issue. And you have to. It's so built for including these people in these moments that if you don't, it's going to start a whole thing. But then if you do, it might feel disingenuous to your experience or your feelings, or it might, you know, make that experience worse. Like being in the bridal suite with someone who's insulting you the whole time. That's like, oh, that sucks.

[Morgan]

I know. I think that's why a lot of people have moved towards eloping.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Because it's like, it's kind of this fine line of, like, doing what is going to make you happy and toting that line. And then what's going to make other people happy and not piss other people off and not have drama? And it's like, this is about you guys, the couple. But a lot of us have to go through these, like, hoops and hurdles of avoiding drama and doing extensive seating charts to make sure people avoid each other. And it is overwhelming and exhausting and very unfair to put on the two people that should be celebrating.

[Michaela]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Morgan]

Like, suck it up. If you can't be there, happy, supportive, don't come. Like, truly, like, it's not. Don't, don't. I don't want you there. You're going to be a little sour puss. Nope.

[Michaela]

It's simply not about you. It's simply not.

[Morgan]

It's not. And I've got one more wedding story that I'm like, wait, perfect. We're going to roll with this wedding stuff. I'm like, I'm getting into my planning now, too, because I'm like, okay, wait. Like, I'm. You guys, I'm only. I'm less than a year out. I'm. I have my date September.

[Michaela]

That's crazy.

[Morgan]

27. Yeah.

[Michaela]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

And so I'm like, okay, I'm like, I gotta start planning now. There's this wedding planning's crazy.

[Michaela]

And then you do this podcast and you hear stories so often about weddings.

[Morgan]

I know. So I've got a wedding theme coming at the top of the year as I get more into it, but I'm like, I'm just in my wedding story phase right now. Yeah.

[Michaela]

And then if you have any wedding stories, let us know.

[Morgan]

Hey, I'm sure, I'm sure I'm gonna have a couple. Just wait. One of this week's partners is manscaped. Did I just get my hair? Holidays are sneaking up faster than my third cup of coffee. And if you're still debating what to get the special someone in your life, I've got the perfect gift for you. Forget the cliche gifts of socks, cologne, sweaters. And get him something he's actually gonna love. Using the chair package from our friends at Manscaped. It's like the Rudolph of grooming, guiding him to the smoothest irritation free shave of his life. And my favorite part about the Chairman Pro is it's waterproof so they can actually use it in the shower. Think about the cleanup. It's not all over your counter in your bathroom anymore. It also has a 75 minute runtime on a single charge and it has a travel lock, so no more buzzer going off in your bag while you're traveling. With all of its new technology, the Chairman Pro really is an upgrade upgrade in shaving. It has so many benefits like the skin safe four blade foil, the flex adjust technology. So gift your man with the ultimate grooming experience by manscaped and get him the Chairman Pro package for the holidays. It's a thoughtful and practical gift that he'll actually use and love. Get 20% off and free shipping with code tht manscaped.com that's 20% off plus free shipping with the code [e-mail]. so this is coming from Am I the asshole? Titled am I the asshole for still going to my sister's wedding after my husband canceled my plane ticket.

[Michaela]

Oh boy.

[Morgan]

Here's the situation. My husband, 36 and I, 30, have three kids, 2, 4 and 7. I'm a stay at home mom full time and I take care of the kids while my husband works full time. My sister's wedding was last week. We live hours away, which is an issue for my husband. When we first got the invite, he told me he wasn't going, that he will stay for the kids, and suggested that I do the same, since the wedding doesn't allow kids and my husband doesn't want to hire a babysitter after the one we had robbed us. We had gone back and forth on this, but I insisted on going since that's my only sister and I want to attend what might be a once in a lifetime event for her. He chuckled at my statement and then we stopped talking about it. As the wedding was approaching, he brought it up and told me to miss it and stay with the kids. I suggested that since no babysitters were allowed, then I could get my friend to stay with the kids, but again he refused. I ignored him, spoke to my friend who agreed to watch the kids and booked a ticket to travel to my sister's town. In time. My husband found out and went on about how he had work and that the most logical solution is that I stay home with the kids and let him make his living. I told him that I already took care of the kids and they'll stay with my friend. Honestly, I grew impatient. The day of my flight, I dropped the kids off at my friend's place and then headed to the airport. I found out he had canceled my plane ticket.

[Michaela]

What the fuck?

[Morgan]

I was upset, but still insisted on going. So I went home and got into my car and drove four hours to get to the town. At 5pm, my husband called and was freaking out on me, asking where I was. I told him I made it to my sister's town and he blew up saying I wasn't supposed to go. Even said he canceled my ticket to get me to stay. He demanded I returned, but I said not until the wedding is over. He called me horrible, a neglectful mom, then had his mom scold me and accuse me of abandoning my own children. There was a huge argument that ensued when I returned home and my husband kept on saying I was horrible to leave the kids and to ignore him like that and eventually do what I wanted. He's giving me the silent treatment as of now and I can no longer take it. I felt guilty and did not enjoy the wedding at all. Was I wrong for still going? Hell no. What the actual.

[Michaela]

I kept waiting for him to give some other reason as to why she couldn't go. Besides, I don't want you leaving the house. What?

[Morgan]

I'm very concerned.

[Michaela]

It's her sister's wedding. It is her sister's wedding. Also, can. Can he not watch the kids for what, like two nights at most? Maybe one night. Two nights?

[Morgan]

No, he can't.

[Michaela]

Why is this such a thing? Also, you Know what? Maybe that babysitter deserved to rob you. Maybe that babysitter deserved those items more than he did.

[Morgan]

I. I'm just. I'm beyond baffled. I'm so one. I am so, so happy and proud of her to go through that.

[Michaela]

Right.

[Morgan]

You're literally being like, turned away at the airport.

[Michaela]

Oh, yeah.

[Morgan]

To show up and find out that he canceled your flight. Hell no. Hell no. And what a good sister. Like she drove four hours versus just being like, defeated.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

What an amazing, strong person. Like, standing up for herself and still doing this. Holding her guns even after being called all these terrible names and all of this insanely strong. So happy for her, so proud of her. And it sucks that she didn't have a good time, but this guy is a controlling, crazy person. You got to run.

[Michaela]

Calling her a neglectful parent.

[Morgan]

You abandoned your children.

[Michaela]

She left the house for one day, for one night.

[Morgan]

They're not attached to the umbilical cord anymore.

[Michaela]

She could have been back sooner if she had been able to take a flight.

[Morgan]

True. Would have been more efficient. Way more efficient.

[Michaela]

Would have been able to spend more time at home.

[Morgan]

Safer for her too.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Safer line is safer than cars.

[Michaela]

Uh huh.

[Morgan]

So they say. I. My brain doesn't rationalize that when I'm up there, but, you know.

[Michaela]

No, it's true though, because one time I was looking at what the most dangerous jobs are and police was like, not even in the top 10. And all of the top ones were like, delivery person. Like, anyone who has anything to do with driving a car.

[Morgan]

Dude, I. This is such a tangent. I have a really big fear of getting hit by a car. And my new fear, if you are like, your car's parked, but you have to walk around, like, in front of it to get in, and there's cars coming because you're parked on that side of the street.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

My fear is that someone on driving rear ends my car while I'm walking in front of it. And then I get like, dominoed. Bam. I think about it every time. I'm also, yeah, I need therapy. That sounds.

[Michaela]

That won't happen. Yeah, it won't happen to you.

[Morgan]

But really proud of her and just like, this is. This is abuse. It is abuse.

[Michaela]

No, it is. If you can't leave the house for one day to go to your sister's wedding, like, when can you leave the house? When. When is she allowed to do anything?

[Morgan]

What's wrong with a babysitter? And then what's wrong with the friend? Nothing. You just want your wife completely under Your thumb and control.

[Michaela]

I'm also wondering if actually a babysitter did steal or if he concocted something so that there'd be an excuse for them to not use a babysitter. Like, it just seems too convenient for him that he can be like, no, like, we can't have babysitters. It has to be you. When he's clearly so set on making her never leave.

[Morgan]

So we do get some info on that.

[Michaela]

Wait, no way, no way, no way.

[Morgan]

So, top comment on this financial abuse question mark. Yep. Isolating you from a loved one. Yep. Controlling behavior. Yep. Not the asshole. And please leave the asshole. He should be required to give you child support and alimony. You are not neglectful. Your kids were taken care of. Op responds. Thank you so much. The childcare arrangement issue has been making my life 10 times harder. After that babysitter robbed us, my husband decided that no babysitter is allowed in our home anymore. I disagreed because of how illogical his decision was. And now look at how much we're struggling. I'm struggling, actually, without outside help. Thank God for my friend. She's like a sister to me. And so someone quotes the after the babysitter robbed us part. Do you have confirmation that the babysitter actually robbed you?

[Michaela]

All right, turn this up. Let's turn this up.

[Morgan]

Based on how manipulative he is canceling your ticket. I wouldn't put it past him to frame your babysitter as an excuse to never hire one again so that he can keep you trapped in your home.

[Michaela]

Mm. Yeah. Also, that just, like, doesn't. That it just, to me, is very unlikely to actually happen.

[Morgan]

I feel like when I've been a nanny and babysitter, like, I don't really. I don't look into people's stuff.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And I just feel like they get accused of it so much more than it's actually happening.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

Like, you misplaced something and your first thought is, oh, my God, like, the nanny, the babysitter. And it's not like you just misplaced it.

[Morgan]

No, I. I assum. Assume I misplace it.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, I swear to God, I have a black hole following me. So, like, anything's missing. I'm like, nah, the hole. Got it.

[Michaela]

Yeah, the hole. The hole. The little trolls that come out from under my bed at night. Got it.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

It's where all my hair are.

[Morgan]

Oh, my claw clips. No, I don't know where they went. Like, my panda coin. Gone. A bracelet. Justin got me gone. Like, I'm like, where the. Did it go?

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Where the did it go? So OP does have a couple little quips here. Info. My husband dislikes my sister, if it's relevant.

[Michaela]

Okay. I'm sure he dislikes everyone that you like.

[Morgan]

That he dislikes everyone. Fork found in kitchen because he wants you to be under his control.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

He doesn't want you to have friends. I'm surprised you can even have a friend.

[Michaela]

Mm. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Update. So a lot of people on here brought up the possibility of my husband lying about the robbery that happened months ago and accusing the babysitter of stealing just so I can't hire any other babysitters. He was the one who discovered the robbery. I never saw or talked to her after he kicked her out. Upon reading the comments, I'm now suspecting that he made up the whole thing. I'm going to contact the babysitter to get the whole story. Hopefully I'm wrong, but I will talk to her and see if her story contradicts his in any way. I'll keep you updated.

[Michaela]

Whoa. Did she?

[Morgan]

Did she. So we have a couple of other comments from OP Just kind of further elaborating on him and things like that before we. Yeah, because we do have an update.

[Michaela]

Oh, there's a grand reveal.

[Morgan]

There's an update.

[Michaela]

But we can be patient. We can be patient.

[Morgan]

Yeah. So Opie is, like, responding to this comment, not the asshole. He's awful. It's ridiculous to suggest you missed the wedding, as there were obviously childcare solutions and to cancel the ticket is super abusive. I can't see how this doesn't cause massive damage to your relationship. He's ridiculously controlling OP the thing is, I had already suggested other solutions, but he was dead set on not letting me go. I ignored him because I was at my wit's end and he wouldn't want it any other way. And I'm just, like, I can't imagine, like, even imagining someone, like, controlling me like that and suffocating me so much. Like, I feel claustrophobic thinking about it.

[Michaela]

And there's obviously no way. This is the first time. Like, he's been using this babysitter excuse plenty of times before, clearly. But this is, like, the first really, really serious event, I mean, potentially, where she's like, it is my sister's wedding. You canceled my ticket. Like, I'm glad that this didn't happen slowly enough over time that she wasn't able to, like, recognize it in this moment.

[Morgan]

Yeah. There is a comment from OP that being called names is not a new thing. He has Called me names before. But to say that I'm a neglectful mom, that stings hard.

[Michaela]

That's like one of the greatest indicators of divorce too. If, like the way that people fight and if they do name calling like that, it's hard to repair that.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And the fact that his mom is getting involved too.

[Michaela]

This another flying monkey.

[Morgan]

Another flying monkey. Like, this is not your relationship, ma'am. Oh, this is your baby boy? Get the fuck out of my life.

[Michaela]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

To yourself. You can talk to your son. If he wants to vent to you, that's fine and dandy, but don't you dare come at me. And don't you dare come at me saying I'm a bad mom. You know, as a bad mom, you. You raised this controlling little asshole. Yeah, look in the mirror, motherfucker.

[Michaela]

How do these people. I guess in that case it's more straightforward of like, that his mother was clearly an enabler his whole life. But like, yeah, how do these people find so many good enabled flying monkeys to help them out in these situations where they're so clearly wrong? And then everyone on the Internet has to be like, no, like, what? What are you talking about? That's not normal.

[Morgan]

No. I'm so upset for her. Sorry. I feel like I popped off there really hard.

[Michaela]

No, you should. You. And it was deserved.

[Morgan]

Update.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I contacted the babysitter via social media. I sent her a dm, telling her who I was and mentioning the incident that happened at our home. I didn't think she'd respond given that it's been over seven months since she left us, but I was surprised when she responded. In two hours time, I again mentioned the incident to her and asked if she could explain to me what happened. She sent me a long wall of text, swearing she never took anything from our home and that my husband came home and was lashing out at her and the kids for no reason. She said that they didn't talk to him that day, but then brought up a previous interaction they both had. Then she claimed that he touched her inappropriately.

[Michaela]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

While he was in the kitchen with her. This caught me off guard. I asked her to expand on that and she said she wasn't sure if it was an accident or that he did it deliberately. She said he didn't say anything, but his looks made her uncomfortable. She also said she was willing to let it go until she saw that he started leaving her text days later, demanding she responded to him. Then the day he accused her of the robbery, he just lashed out. At her, criticizing her work and then told her to leave and not come back. She said he didn't accuse her of anything being stolen, just lashed out and told her to leave.

[Michaela]

Okay, you've got divorce and therapy, but murder is not one of the options.

[Morgan]

We need a three sided paddle.

[Michaela]

Where is murder? He. Okay, he's just sort of like Satan. So he's sort of just like an evil bad per. Like, so he shouldn't ever be around women ever again in his life.

[Morgan]

Well, I also find it a red flag that OP had to DM her versus having her number. Wait, yeah, that's another layer of the control there. Like, he was the point of contact for the babysitter, even though she was.

[Michaela]

The one who was with the kids more often.

[Morgan]

So it was like, hey, honey, I gotta. I gotta go to Target. Can you text the babysitter? It was another middleman, which shouldn't have even been a thing, but because he wanted the control. Whoa, that's crazy.

[Michaela]

You're a seasoned expert on this. Noticing that.

[Morgan]

That's crazy.

[Michaela]

That is crazy. You would think that, like, yeah, she should have her number. She should probably be the one talking to her the most.

[Morgan]

Yes.

[Michaela]

Coordinating, like, wow.

[Morgan]

The update goes on to say, I couldn't wrap my head around this. I just. I really don't know what to say. Basically, she was saying he tried to hit on her, but then she said she wasn't sure if it was an accident. Then he just all of a sudden came home one day and lashed out, then told her to leave. I can't make sense of any of it. He told her to leave because she wasn't reciprocating his advances.

[Michaela]

Yeah, and so he needs control as well.

[Morgan]

Disgusting. I went to try to speak to him on that, but he kept blocking my attempts to discuss it. So I blew up, showed him what the babysitter sent me, and he remained calm, which is completely out of character for him. He kept repeating the line, she's lying to you. Well, I absolutely lost it on him. I threatened to take the kids and go stay with my friend, which is what I'm going to do today after he leaves the house. Since he said that I can't do that, then I'm just waiting until he's out. He kept calling me crazy to believe some kid's story over his and insisted that I'm looking to dig up dirt to start a fight. I refused to continue fighting. I just kept my distance from him. This is just horrible. I did not see this coming. And I feel like a Cold wave just hit me and I don't know what to say about this. And worst of all is that I have no evidence or proof. I'm going to be taking some space from him for now until I clear my mind and think of what I'm going to do moving forward.

[Michaela]

Okay, good. I'm very glad that it's like she's out of there now. This is a different type of self absorbed because it's like even she's not a real person to him. She's like a helper to him. And anything that she does outside of being there for him, being there for raising his children is like an inconvenience to him. It's like she shouldn't have a life outside of making my life easier. And that is completely self absorbed. It's like everything should be in my orbit and if it falls out of my orbit, I don't like it. I hope she's like, sticks with it.

[Morgan]

I'm so upset.

[Michaela]

I have faith in her.

[Morgan]

Well. Oh, this post is two years old.

[Michaela]

Oh. Oh my God.

[Morgan]

We don't have any more updates.

[Michaela]

Oh no.

[Morgan]

There is no comments on OP's account that have since come up. No other posts, no comments on other posts in other subs or anything. So I'm hoping OP is out there. Forgot about the account, forgot about the post. You know, was dealing with life. Here's this and updates us. Like, I would love to get a happy ending on this and just like make sure she's okay because this is insane behavior and not something anyone should have to deal with.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And sometimes you do need to see a bunch of comments from strangers to like really realize this isn't normal, this isn't okay. And you know, I'm hope I'm believing the best. I'm believing the best with this one. She recognized that keeping her from her sister's wedding wasn't okay. She left the house. She's got a good friend that she can lean on and talk to. She's seen all these comments supporting her and saying this isn't all right.

[Morgan]

We're.

[Michaela]

We're leaving this. Believing the best.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And I do get that vibe just based on the last comments OP did post.

[Michaela]

Like not having proof and stuff.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And so did say like, I'm too overwhelmed right now, but I'll make sure to store all the messages. So all the messages from him, all the messages from the mom, messages from the babysitter. So there is something.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And then there's another comment where OP is just like, I Fully believe and I'm now convinced that the reason he canceled the plane ticket and went ballistic when I attended the wedding is because he hates my sister. He calls her a slut on the regular and yells at me about how she sleeps around, which is none of his fucking business. I'm just so mad at myself for letting him get this far in humiliating me and badmouthing my family while I stood there and took it. I was an idiot. No you weren't.

[Michaela]

Then he should be happy she's getting married. If he's so bothered by a woman.

[Morgan]

Having fun, I wouldn't be surprised if he's made passes at the sister.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And just hates her because she didn't engage.

[Michaela]

Oh my God. He just hates anyone who's not sleeping with him. Well actually he hates people sleeping with him as well. So it's.

[Morgan]

It's everyone.

[Michaela]

Yeah, probably.

[Morgan]

He just hates women and needs to be in a superior position, in control.

[Michaela]

Yeah. She's left him everybody. She's. That's. Yeah. But if you're out there, let us know.

[Morgan]

Let us know.

[Michaela]

All the love to you.

[Morgan]

Reddit and TikTok have a weird way of showing up on people's for you pages. Like the amount of times that people are like, I came across my story being read on a TikTok, like right, it could happen and we could get an update so everyone just manifests that OP's out there and living her best.

[Michaela]

Life and pain and suffering for the.

[Morgan]

Man and getting that alimony she so heartedly deserves.

[Michaela]

Yeah. Oh my God.

[Morgan]

Insanity.

[Michaela]

That was a good story though.

[Morgan]

I know, I know. In this next one I think it's, it's also insanity.

[Michaela]

Oh God.

[Morgan]

Self absorbed motherfucker though.

[Michaela]

I know. Absolutely. I love the variety of self absorbed people we're getting here.

[Morgan]

Do you have to like, I'm like, if you like controlling people that much, is it like you must get off on it somehow, right? Like you. Is it because you're so self centered and the world needs to accommodate revolt revolve around you? Or is it like you just need that control and like you don't even notice it as abuse? Like right. That's where I want question. I want like a little psychologist on my shoulders being like yeah, that's why he did that. His brain is right.

[Michaela]

Like is he saying haha, like I've controlled her so much I own everything she does? Or is he just like this is how it should be. How could she think it should be any other way? Like I'm the main character of the Universe, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it's hard to know. I bet both exist, though.

[Morgan]

I need to know.

[Michaela]

But is it different conditions? Like, is one narcissism and one, like a sociopath? I don't know.

[Morgan]

This is giving a later.

[Michaela]

We just.

[Morgan]

This is giving.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Scary.

[Michaela]

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, like, we've only begun to uncover his crimes in that story.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Michaela]

Who knows what he's done in the course of his life.

[Morgan]

And I'd be very curious. I would bet. I would bet money that he's an only child and a mama's boy.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And mommy might have some.

[Michaela]

Sorry to the moms. You're getting a tough rep today. I personally love my mom. My best friend, lovely woman.

[Morgan]

I love my mom.

[Michaela]

She would never do any of these things.

[Morgan]

She's a little goofy, but, you know, still over goofy. Another one of this week's partners is Skims. I love holiday shopping, but I put a lot of pressure on myself to get people gifts. They're going to love gifts. They're going to open and actually want to wear and cherish for time to come. And that is why I've turned to the Skims Holiday Shop this year. My go to piece I've been wearing from Skims is the soft smoothing tea. And it's actually one of the items I get the most compliments on, along with the Fits everybody bodysuit. And I'm doing little gifts this year for everyone. So the soft smoothing T shirt is on my list for a lot of people. I also love the Fits Everybody packs bras and underwear. It is the most comfortable bralette. It stretches, it's smooth, and I love that they come in these cute little red boxes. It's honestly the perfect stocking stuffer. And look at this pattern. So don't worry about rushing to get last minute gifts. The Skims holiday shop is going to be there for you and they're going to make sure everyone on your list has the best gift this year. Shop Skims holiday [e-mail] available in styles for women, men, kids, and even pets. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Thank you. Okay, this next one, it's coming from our very own two hot takes subreddit.

[Michaela]

Oh, love that.

[Morgan]

Three days old.

[Michaela]

Ooh.

[Morgan]

I'm 23, female and my boyfriend 37, male. He demands a cut if my paintings get sold.

[Michaela]

She's 23 and he's 37. Okay. Just wanted to run that. Okay, cool. Just making sure.

[Morgan]

14. 14 years.

[Michaela]

Cool. Cool. Awesome.

[Morgan]

Hi to Outtakes and Father knows something fam. I've been a longtime listener and I just want to say I learned so much from your podcast. But onto the issue I'm a freelance artist from the Philippines and let me tell you, art here barely gets importance since we are a third world country. And I completely understand given that people should prioritize necessities to live above all else. So art as a full time job is a pain here. Well, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend since January 2024. We met at an art event and he messaged me after and after a month of courting, we officially became a couple on dates. I always insist on splitting the bill, but there comes a time where it's only him that pays and vice versa. It doesn't bother me since I make money from freelance. Since Getting my degree July 2023, my freelance jobs are architectural layout, design and various forms of commissioned art, pencil drawings, painting, customized costumes, cosplaying, hair and makeup, et cetera. And since art is our common ground, he insisted on giving me museum wrapped canvases so I can keep creating art pieces. He has a small canvas business. At first I didn't let him give them to me for free since it's kind of costly here, so I paid for them. But after a while he insisted that they are free and I can just pay each if they get sold. So I agreed and considered it as help from him so I can develop my art more without spending too much given that freelancing art is not a stable field here. Fast forward to November 2024. I've finished five paintings, three pieces of 2 by 3ft and two pieces of 18 by 20 inches and people have loved my style so far and now I'm on my second art exhibit this upcoming December and when I asked him how much each of the canvases are again so I can pay him if the paintings get sold, he told me the amount and I said I will pay him the exact amount when they get sold. But he then demanded that I should give him higher, that I should consider it his cut. I know he's been helping me, but I don't understand why I need to give him more than agreed since if they get sold it'll be my first. I help him with his art too, like giving his art pieces titles and descriptions for countless exhibits, catalogs, helping him promote his art on social media, and giving commissioned arts his way and never did I ask for anything in return because I love him and want to help him. I know his status in life going in this relationship. He's 37. His older sister pays for his credit card. Still living with his parents, full time artist which is not really stable as we are living in the Philippines. He does end up with zero money once in a while. So it takes a month or two that we cannot go on dates unless I pay for both of us. So I wanted to understand why he wants a higher cut more than we agreed upon. But when it's him that gets his pieces sold, I never ask for anything. Is it wrong to feel this way? Am I being greedy given that I earn more on my freelancing jobs than his full time artist job? For reference, he earns around 0 to 170amonth while I earn 500 to 600. How can I tell him that I don't want to give him a higher cut since we had an agreement that I only pay him the canvas price? I'm delaying talking to him since when I open up about things, even with the softest tone, he tends to cut me off and tells me he doesn't want to fight. He concludes that I want to fight when I attempt to communicate and just want to clear things up. I prioritize communication since I want to be transparent in this relationship to keep it healthy. Also, I lend him money when he needs it from my savings account given he doesn't have one or any savings. And I never ask for interest no matter how much of the money he asks for. Please help. P.S. forgive me if my storytelling is confusing. It's the ADHD in me.

[Michaela]

First of all, congratulations to this girl. Yeah, absolutely.

[Morgan]

I'm holding up my divorce sign. Yeah.

[Michaela]

Literally. Congratulations. Like getting your art and gallery is amazing. All of this success that's so exciting.

[Morgan]

This second exhibit.

[Michaela]

Yeah, that's incredible. Especially since you said it's like really especially actually hard. He has been up to this for some time, insisting that they're free. He's had this plan. He's had this plan. If he. If he usually doesn't pay for stuff and he like, it's usually a shared situation. You go 50, 50 on meals, like you go 50, 50 on most things. But then with these canvases, he's all of a sudden like, oh no, these are free. You don't have to pay for these. And we'll talk, we'll talk about it later when you sell them.

[Morgan]

That's.

[Michaela]

It's been his plan.

[Morgan]

It's a bait and switch.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It was a plot.

[Michaela]

Yeah. It's been a plot.

[Morgan]

He's a scam artist.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

He's a 37 year old scam artist.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And I mean, like, hey, let him say that part. At 37 and 23, he, he's a predator. Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I get, people are gonna be like, they met when op was 22, 23, not grooming, no issues, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, it is predatory if you exploit someone like this.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And I can just tell you, like, I, I, as a 28 year old, like 23, even to me, I would be like, is that too young? Like, I would feel weird about that. So. And I'm not saying that that's inappropriate like that, like that kind of age gap. And I'm sure, yeah, if it's like a one off, blah, blah of whatever, I'm not gonna get into age gap discourse. It's like a whole thing.

[Morgan]

It can work for some people. It can be healthy if there's not a power in mind.

[Michaela]

But clearly, given the other things we're seeing is why it's such a red flag.

[Morgan]

Absolutely.

[Michaela]

It's just, it's very self absorbed to assume that like, like she said she's helping him because she wants to help him and that's what she thought he was doing for her.

[Morgan]

Relationships kind of are.

[Michaela]

It's literally just materials. I will pay you the cost of materials. Why do you feel entitled to a percentage of, like, my art? Because you provided a material for me. I'll pay you back for that. Like, yeah. You bought the brush. Cool. I'll pay you back for the brush. You bought the canvas. I'll pay you back for the canvas. Like, that doesn't mean that you have any claim to the art that I created.

[Morgan]

And then that would be one thing.

[Michaela]

Right.

[Morgan]

And then you add in the fact that she's helping him.

[Michaela]

Yeah. With way more.

[Morgan]

With way more.

[Michaela]

With way more.

[Morgan]

Borrowing him money.

[Michaela]

Yep.

[Morgan]

Doesn't ask for interest, titles, descriptions, Helping.

[Michaela]

Him with the creative.

[Morgan]

Sending him commissions.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

No.

[Michaela]

And then his sister pays his credit card.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. You want to go tit for tat?

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Here we go, sir. No, that's when I'm going to start charging you fees for titles. I'm going to start charging you fees when I send. When I send you a commission and you get a commission, guess what? I get a cut of that. You want to take cuts for services rendered? Yep, let's take cuts. Let's go tit for tat and see who ends up in the green.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

That's the issue.

[Michaela]

If we're, like, helping each other and we just, you know, every so often I help you with something, you help me with something, I pay for something, you pay for something. Like, I give you a creative direction, blah, blah, blah. But then as soon as someone starts being like, yeah, let's go tit for tat. Let's, like, do this. It's like, okay, it's changed. Then I have to do that too. It's not just you who gets to do that.

[Morgan]

Yeah, well, that's the thing. Like, I've had that happen with friends before where it's like. And every. I feel like everyone has.

[Michaela]

Yeah, I had this happen recently as well.

[Morgan]

You go to eat or like, you're picking up a coffee for someone and it's like, oh, like, hey, do you want a coffee? I'm stopping on my way. Yeah, yeah, I'd love something. And you just take care of it.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Because it's like, sometimes it feels silly Venmo requesting $5 or whatever. Of course.

[Michaela]

And then it reverses.

[Morgan]

And then it reverses and you get the Venmo request. And it's like, this is why, like, sometimes. What's that saying? It's like, no good deed goes unpunished.

[Michaela]

Oh, this is a very wicked reference.

[Morgan]

Is that the saying?

[Michaela]

Yes, it's absolutely. From act two. No good deed.

[Morgan]

And so I'm just like, ugh. Like, you try to scratch each other's back, you try to be a good partner, and then you just get raked over the coals and it's like, that's not what it should be. This is not a partnership. You're being used and this isn't your person, and it makes you feel like.

[Michaela]

It's not like you do these things to get the recognition. But then when they do that, it feels like, oh, they haven't recognized that I've done all these things for them all this time. Like, he doesn't appreciate that I've been helping him with xyz. He doesn't appreciate that I've pickup. Like, when this happens with a friend, it's like, oh, so if you're Venmo requesting me for this, does that mean, like, whenever I've done this for you, like, it's completely gone out of your mind the second it's over? Like, do you not, like, does this been meaningless?

[Morgan]

I know, and that's how I feel about it. Because, like, obviously you don't do something kind with the expectation of getting something.

[Michaela]

Like praise or whatever. Yeah, absolutely.

[Morgan]

But it just Almost feels like that it's like, wait, yeah, I took care of you.

[Michaela]

Like, did that not mean anything?

[Morgan]

Did that mean nothing? Like, why, why don't you want to reciprocate the same kindness I showed you?

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And then that kind of goes to a deeper level of like, hey, maybe the friendship is unbalanced and it's just pointing out a crack. And I think that's what is happening here.

[Michaela]

Absolutely.

[Morgan]

It's just pointing out how truly unbalanced the relationship is. And I get he's making less money and I get obviously like the canvas should be paid for, but he's going above and beyond now.

[Michaela]

She's already helping him with the money stuff. She's already lending him money.

[Morgan]

Like she, that that added context.

[Michaela]

She doesn't need to give him a percentage of her work just because, like out of guilt. I mean, hey, if you're married and you're going in on everything, sure, eventually that's the kind of situation that happens. Like your money is their money and blah, blah, blah. But. But she's actually doing more creative for him in the sense that she should get a cut than he is doing for her.

[Morgan]

Well, and I'm kind of confused too, where it's like, I'm making more money but I'm doing all this freelance stuff. I'm hustling, I have all these jobs. I'm able to make more money because I'm putting in all this extra crazy work versus, well, he's a full time artist, so he doesn't make as much. But you're a full time artist. You're just doing multiple different variations and freelance.

[Michaela]

Absolutely.

[Morgan]

Why isn't he hustling in the same way as you? Why are you willing to take care of his shortcomings when you have the same hours in a day? And he could also take on some freelance stuff, like.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And she's promoting him on social media. Like maybe he could be looking into that as well. Like she's clearly, she is thinking of extra ways to boost what she's doing and like this choice of business. She's coming up with ideas, she's finding ways to make it work. And he doesn't have that same. Yeah, he's just like, well, I could just take a cut of my girlfriends.

[Morgan]

I'll just take a cut and I'll have my sister pay my credit card.

[Michaela]

Yeah. Which I, it sounds like that's maybe an arrangement he's used to getting like sort of just this is skating by on other people's charity, self absorbed, which like, it's amazing to follow your dreams. If you're an artist and you're trying to be an artist. Like. Like, that's hard work. It's hard. Incredibly hard. Although. Yeah, like, I was a musical theater major and at a certain point I was like, I'm not actually going to make money doing this. I have to change. Like, I love this. It's so much fun. I have to do something else, though, unfortunately, like, sometimes that. That point does come as well. Yeah. If you're at the point where you're just like, you're 37. I mean, you can become successful at anything at any time in Life, but you're 37, you're still like. Like, you take money from your sister and your girlfriend. At a certain point, you have to think, maybe I need something else, or.

[Morgan]

Maybe I should start doing some freelance.

[Michaela]

Yeah, maybe, like, there's something additionally that I could be doing.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Top comment on this one. Your boyfriend is using you as an atm. Stop giving him money like every other female in his life. This man is 37 years old. What the actual fuck? Yeah, this isn't a healthy relationship. No matter how much you think you need to communicate, you are being used. Next comment. Exactly. He saw a young girl with potential and has been trying to groom her from the start, using the canvas as a manipulation tactic. Op, you deserve better. Be proud of your work. Pay him the same amount for the canvas as you did in the beginning and walk away from him with your head held high. Yeah, business wise, he's nothing more than a vendor, her canvas dealer. He shouldn't get a penny more than whatever his cost is. Plus 10%. That seems fair. Fuck the 10%.

[Michaela]

Why would there be a 10%?

[Morgan]

Why would there be 10%?

[Michaela]

Why would there be a 10%'?

[Morgan]

Hell no.

[Michaela]

She was willing to pay for it upfront. It's not even like he was investing in her company and, like, deserve some kind of investment stake. She was willing to pay for it.

[Morgan]

She wanted to.

[Michaela]

Then they agreed. I'll just pay you for it when it sells. Like, there is no, no. This is falling into his manipulation of being like, oh, we'll just approach it at a later date. That's what he wanted.

[Morgan]

I know. Well, I also want to bring up that first comment's point of, like, this isn't a healthy relationship, no matter how much you think you need to communicate. She does mention, like, in previous fights, he, like, shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. Like, I don't want to fight. Like, I don't want to fight. First of all, fighting is healthy.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Every relationship, no matter what it is, if fighting is okay. But on name calling, as long as you fight constructively.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Fighting helps build relationships. It strengthens them, it deepens them. Fighting is not inherently bad. You not communicating is bad. So I'm like, why is he gaslighting her about? Like just. She's just trying to communicate. And then he like cuts her off.

[Michaela]

He's like, sorry, don't want to fight.

[Morgan]

That's weird.

[Michaela]

He's like, well, we'll also approach this at a later date.

[Morgan]

Just so weird. I'm gonna go to Opie's comments to make sure we're not missing anything because I haven't really gone into these. Okay. 3 Comments I see all three of which are longer than the post. So let's see what they're really about. When he complains about having zero money, from time to time, I lay him options to how he can earn more, mostly telling him to get employed and keep his art a side hustle. It'll be a win win when he has a stable cash flow from a job and extra money from his art. But he tells me he can't work for anyone and get paid so little. He said he doesn't want to get tired over a job.

[Michaela]

Well, many such cases. Many of us don't want to get tired from a job. A lot of people don't.

[Morgan]

People. The reality is your sister is tired.

[Michaela]

Your girlfriend is tired.

[Morgan]

There are so many. Like, I've seen this argument a lot where it's like, some people like work to live and some people live to work. It's okay if you're just working to live. You don't have to like be in love with your job. Like, there's some people that enjoy their 9 to 5 don't have to take their work home and that's happy. They work so they can live their life. Sir, I want to beat him with a stick. Like just. That's aggressive.

[Michaela]

But no.

[Morgan]

And this is another soft paddle. I want to just hit them with my soft little paddle.

[Michaela]

This is another instance of the self absorption because it's like, do you not think everyone else struggles with that? Like the people, the people that are helping you right now, do you not think that they're also like tired sometimes?

[Morgan]

So you're okay with taking other people's hard earned money? Yeah. You're okay being a glorified sugar baby? Oh my God. Op has another comment. I think someone was asking, like, what, what do you really help with he does ask for my service digital layout designing for his commission sometimes. First time I gave it to him for free. The next are paid. I stuck to my client pricing since it's my business. But then recently he's persuading a potential project and told me his words quote make me a contract and sample layouts love without payments as an investment in me.

[Michaela]

And will she be getting a percentage? Yeah, will she be getting that percentage?

[Morgan]

Insane. Of course I will not do it for free. He expects his canvases to be paid. I will ask him to pay for my services although sure enough he can't afford them. Honestly speaking. Last comment from OP is in response to someone saying you realize you're just a fuck toy and ATM to him right? Oh what's the age rule from Parks and Recs again? Divide the age by half and plus seven so the youngest he should be dating rounded up is someone who's 26 years and older. Anything under is creep territory. Now if you two just had a one night stand and that was it, okay, whatever. But no, it's a full blown relationship. Pop off Tia's street. Yeah OP responds We had fights before when I caught him adding profiles of minor high school girls on Facebook Fork.

[Michaela]

Found in kitchen we and you know what? Yeah from the first sentence of this story I smelled it. Oh jail. This is why we need a murder one. We need a murder one.

[Morgan]

Where's that third off? I can see his profile following. It's public and on Facebook. When you try to add a profile as a friend, if they do not accept it goes to your following. He did that while courting me and in a relationship with me months in. I wish I would have seen it earlier or so when I confronted him he acted like he doesn't know how that happened. Of course I was being crazy. I just wanted to know why he keeps saying he doesn't know and he didn't do that and we'll just start unfollowing everyone. I just tried to understand it since his hobbies and work are one and outside of that he has nothing else to do. It might be a habit from when he was single and it just cannot die. He did unfollow the girls after our fight and never followed a girl again. I fucked my mind for months knowing he already got me and is seeking other girls. What's the purpose of trying to connect with other girls when he's already taken?

[Michaela]

He probably just found a sneakier way. Yeah, he probably just found out a sneakier way.

[Morgan]

I don't think he stopped.

[Michaela]

That's what hap. And the thing is, it's hard because that defense has worked on me where they're just like, I don't know how that happened. I can't tell you. I have no idea that happened. I'm like, well, I guess if you don't know how it happened, what can.

[Morgan]

I do about it?

[Michaela]

But, like, there. Even if he was completely single, you have no reason to be adding high school girls at your big age. It is desperate. It's gross, it's creepy, it's predatory.

[Morgan]

And predator is predatory looking for the.

[Michaela]

Ones with talent too. I bet.

[Morgan]

37 he could be their dad. That's just disgusting.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Red flags all over the place.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I love you.

[Michaela]

We're drowning in I love you.

[Morgan]

Break up with him.

[Michaela]

Break up.

[Morgan]

Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up.

[Michaela]

It's nice to know that since you're on the 2 Hot Takes subreddit, you will probably hear this. Also, if you want to share your art, we would be interested in seeing it.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh.

[Michaela]

I don't know if you don't want to reveal any personal information about yourself, but if you did, we would love to see it.

[Morgan]

I'm sending you a message. I hope you see it before this episode comes out. So I can include a picture of your art and share a link? Yes.

[Michaela]

That would be amazing.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean, there's so many people that buy prints online and want to support people.

[Michaela]

Absolutely.

[Morgan]

So if you're comfortable and honestly make your website really anonymous, like, you can still.

[Michaela]

You could make a new Etsy shop that's like, secret. Yeah, Secrets.

[Morgan]

I'm gonna send.

[Michaela]

As long as he gets no cut.

[Morgan]

He does not get.

[Michaela]

Not as long as, like, I still still want to see it either way, but.

[Morgan]

Yeah, but hey, you know, I'm sending you a message. So reply and maybe share your art in the comments of the post. If. Yeah, you know, you're comfy, but. But you gotta break up.

[Michaela]

Yeah, unfortunately. Thank God that you don't have children with this man. Thank God you're not married to this man. It's a good time to just. Hey. And you have your whole life ahead of you whole life.

[Morgan]

You've got.

[Michaela]

So you're talented, you're young, you've got.

[Morgan]

A lot to come. So so much to live for. Keep making your art and leave this dud behind. Yeah, Moving along. Bye. I'm titling the message. Show me your art. Show me your art. Okay, you ready for this next one? Yeah. So this next one comes with a Little bit of homework for you guys if, if you want to get entered into a drawing to have me send you a little two hot takes present. And it's going to be fun because the homework requires you to share some hot takes or stories opinions about audiobooks.

[C]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Titled Am I the Asshole for Not Being Impressed by my Wife Listening to Audiobooks at three times Speed? Earlier this year, my wife started listening to audiobooks at three times speed. Last night we went to a holiday party and she was talking about how this gave her the ability to read almost 100 books this year. Someone we don't know well responded. They didn't understand how she could possibly retain information that way and that it seems like it would ruin the pleasure of reading. She got upset because that's exactly what I tell her. On the ride home. She was going on about how people don't take audiobook listeners seriously. And I immaturely rolled my eyes at that point and told her that it's not about that. It's that when she talks about listening to things at three times speed, it's because she thinks she has a superior ability to process information quickly and wants people to be impressed. It's not actually about reading at all. I know this sounds harsh, but I also know my wife well enough to know that impressing people is extremely important to her. And she has acknowledged she's prone to having a superiority complex. So am I the asshole?

[C]

Well, I feel she does have a talent because if you get to the point where she can listen at three times speed and then you put her up against someone who's physically read an actual copy of the book, if they can both answer the same questions correctly about the plot and anything you'd want to ask, then what's the difference? At some point, it's someone's personal taste of how they would like to take in the information.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I know. We have listeners that listen to the podcast on like 1.5 or 2 times speed.

[C]

3 times is wild. Have you listened to something at 3 times?

[Morgan]

I think 3 times is a little wild and I'm. I'm curious about that and if she's actually doing it because a part of audiobooks, at least for me, is really enjoying the time and like, yeah, and not having to hold a book and, you know, work as hard like you're getting read this information by an amazing narrator, sort of crank it up that much. I don't know. That's just me. I'm a one. I'm a one times. I'm a normal speed girly.

[C]

And that's fine, and that's a preference, and this is her preference. So if, you know, if she's going around saying, I can do this, I can listen this fast, then we're starting to break the barriers of just doing it for enjoyment. But if you like to listen it three times to get through the material for your enjoyment, then that's up to you.

[Morgan]

Do it. To each their own.

[C]

But maybe when you start leading with that, anytime you meet someone, hi, I'm blah, blah, blah, I listen at three times speed on audiobooks, whatever.

[Morgan]

Then you're being a little pretentious maybe.

[C]

Are you really doing it for yourself or is it to achieve that 100 book goal? Or just show that you are superior?

[Morgan]

This is a hot take. And this has come up in Aita and AITH a bunch. Multiple people have said even crazier things like the listening speed is one thing, but someone else said that listening to an audiobook is not real. Like it doesn't count as having experienced the book.

[C]

Why does that matter?

[Morgan]

You're still hearing the words.

[Michaela]

No one actually cares.

[Morgan]

You're understanding the words that are dictated from the page.

[C]

Would it be better if you downloaded a transcript of this episode and read it instead of listened to it? Ooh, what's the difference? As long as information's being conveyed and you're enjoying yourself, who cares?

[Morgan]

Well, what's interesting too about this one is the top comment does mention some of those hot takes we were talking about. Top comment, not the asshole. This seems like a silly fight. As an audible listener, I can't say I listen to them on three times speed, but I have listened to about 80 books this year. It's great listening while driving or working out and cleaning OP actually responds, oh, I'm all for audiobooks and disagree with those who think listening to them isn't equivalent to reading. Okay, why? Why do people try to gatekeep number of books you've listen to? What's up with gatekeeping books like this? What? What is this about? But I'm ready for your hot takes, your opinions, your stories on audiobooks. So head over to the link. It is a Google form, super easy to fill out and share your take. And if you do share, you will be entered into a drawing to win a little present from me. So get typing on those hot takes, y'all. Okay, thank you. Okay, before we move on, dad overheard us reading this story and he has a little piece of information to share. So dad is dyslexic. I do audible books because I can truly digest it. And I don't get lost by inserting words, switching words and fighting it. And for me, I get it. It works. So it's accessible too. I mean, what's not to like? Okay, submit those hot takes. There you go. Another one of this week's partners is Lumi. I wanna be honest, forgot my deodorant today. And the only one I had in my car was not a Lume deodorant. And as I sit here right now recording this ad, I can smell myself and it is not good. And I know, I know if I would have put on my Lume deodorant, I would not be smelling. I would be feeling fresh. Lume is a game changer when it comes to deodorant. It really works. It lasts for up to 72 hours. Lume is also baking soda free and paraben free and PH balanced so it's safe for use everywhere. And Lumi starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick Deodorant cream tube deodorant. Two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes. And free shipping now through Cyber Monday, customers get up to 30% off all Lumi products. The perfect time to get your starter package. Head to lumideodorant.com to take advantage of their biggest sale through Cyber Monday. That's L u M E D E O D O R A n T dot com. And when they ask you, please support our show and tell them we sent you. Thanks, Lumi. I just don't know if today is gonna be good at all.

[Michaela]

Oh, no. Oh, no. How bad is this?

[Morgan]

It's pretty bad.

[Michaela]

Okay. Is it as bad as the. The semen in the cups one?

[Morgan]

I don't know. That one was really.

[Michaela]

Yeah, my mom talked to me about that one.

[Morgan]

What did she say about it?

[Michaela]

She was just like, that was so horrible. And I was like. And I couldn't even repeat it to her on the phone. I was like, the. The one with the cup. So she was like, yes, that was.

[Morgan]

She's dude.

[Michaela]

But she said it was a really good episode, so.

[Morgan]

Okay, thank you, Michaela's mom.

[Michaela]

Shout out, mom.

[Morgan]

I love that. I'd love a mom's take on this next one too. So tell her. Tell her to get in the comments.

[Michaela]

Oh, she'll be.

[Morgan]

Tell her to get in there. This next one is coming from r relationship advice. Six days old, titled my 29 female husband, 36 male. Hopes I have a C section.

[Michaela]

Oh, God.

[Morgan]

Okay. Posting from My friend's account, because my husband follows mine. I've been with my husband for a little over 10 years, married for two. We weren't planning on having kids for a couple more years, but we had a slip up with our birth control and now I'm 11 weeks along with our first. The stress of this being an unplanned pregnancy is weighing heavy on both of us right now. And I guess to alleviate the anxiety, my husband has been talking more and more about plans for the future and getting ready for the baby. During one of these conversations, he casually dropped that he hopes I get a C section when delivering our child and wondered if it was something that happened often. I had no clue where he got this idea from or why he thought that was an appropriate thing to say, so I asked what he meant. He explained that he'd heard awful things about natural delivery. The pain, the risks of tearing, et cetera, and then added, completely serious, that he'd hate to have our sex life ruined if I ended up getting a tear or was looser.

[Michaela]

Yeah, that's exactly what I was worried about after birth.

[Morgan]

He said the last part semi jokingly, but by that point I was so angry I couldn't stay calm or explain how fucking stupid what he said was, not even mentioning all the dangers of a C section. I was repulsed he'd even bring up his own pleasure in the same sentence of something so serious for me, the baby, and our well being. My husband says I'm overreacting and it was just a joke, but I don't.

[Michaela]

Know, it clearly was not a fucking joke. Also, C sections are serious. There was actually a video not of an actual C section, but just like of all of the layers that they have to go through was on my feed recently.

[Morgan]

It was on my.

[Michaela]

That's so funny. We have similar algorithms. Yay. But I was like, oh my God, that is so much more invasive and like scary than I thought it would be.

[Morgan]

There same.

[Michaela]

There are so many dangers to that. And then this week there was a photo on Twitter of like a C section scar and it was quote tweeted with like, this is how you know a woman has failed at like being a woman or something like that. So I've been recently getting a lot of C section content on my feed. So that's why I was like, wait a minute.

[Morgan]

But isn't that crazy? Think about that though. It's like this is the hard part that at least I feel sometimes is like apparent in being a woman. In my experience of it, you're Damned if you do and damned if you don't.

[Michaela]

Yeah, exactly.

[Morgan]

You can't give birth naturally via vaginal delivery because then you'll be loose and stretched out and not as tight and not as great and you'll get fucked up down there. But then you can't have a C section because that's not very womanly. You failed as a mother, like.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And you'll have a scar. Yeah. What? I know.

[Morgan]

Why is the goalpost always seemingly shifting? Why can't the goalposts just stay where they're at and just be normal goalposts?

[Michaela]

Yeah. And then sane goalposts. And childbirth is like, historically so dangerous. It's. It's already stressful to be pregnant. It's stressful to like. Sorry, I'm saying that as if I'm like experiencing.

[Morgan]

No, people think I'm pregnant every week. So you never know.

[Michaela]

Just like, from your behaviors or.

[Morgan]

I cry a lot. Oh, yeah, I'm emotional.

[Michaela]

Hey, then you get used to it, everybody. But no, like, it's stressful already to be thinking about how your body is going to change and like, if anything could go wrong during the delivery, if there'll be complications, like if it'll be a safe delivery for the baby. There. There's so much to already be worried about for your husband to come in and be like, I'm worried about how your body will change. It's like already a fear, but it shouldn't be the main thing you're thinking about. So it's like, why are we doing this? And also, like, so many women give birth and continue to live their lives and, like, be in their relationships. Like, that doesn't need to be your main concern.

[Morgan]

No.

[Michaela]

Oh my God, no.

[Morgan]

It's very self absorbed that it is your concern.

[Michaela]

Absolutely. I was worried from the moment, from the moment you said the title. I was like, oh, God, it better not be because he's worried she'll be less tight. And yeah, you can say that that's a joke. But like, there's no actual medical reason to prefer a C section. Otherwise they would just be doing C sections. If C sections were safer and like.

[Morgan]

Less dangerous and it would be a standard.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I think some people do choose to get elective C sections because, like, I've seen it most times with like, professional athletes, wives. I think they try to, like, time it based on, like, things like that. So like I said, because you can.

[Michaela]

Choose the time a little bit more with a C section.

[Morgan]

But I've also seen it where, like, the baby has a Heart defect. And so they want to control the environment and, like, schedule the baby's open heart surgery. Like, oh, yeah. Like, there's times where, you know, where it might not is safer.

[Michaela]

Whereas C section is the right choice, of course.

[Morgan]

But, like, that's not where we're at here. And his biggest priority, making sure wife survives. This baby comes out healthy, like a.

[Michaela]

Couple months in or something. Like, that's not.

[Morgan]

This is you Also, you're at 11 weeks. Like, you're still in a risky time period. Like. And yeah. Your wife's vagina is your concern, your biggest concern.

[Michaela]

Yeah. Your doctor will tell you what the safer option is for you when they get more information about, like, where the baby is sitting. In your belly. Well, uter.

[Morgan]

Where.

[Michaela]

Where does it say uterus?

[Morgan]

In your uterus?

[Michaela]

Yeah, in your uterus and your belly.

[Morgan]

Pregnancy freaks me. It's just freaks me out so much and I'm just like. Like, the reality is based on statistics that keep coming out in this country that we live in.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Giving birth, we have the worst. Being pregnant.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Is becoming more dangerous. I mean, it's. The stats are there. That is an objective statement. People are dying more than they have.

[Michaela]

Previously and more than in other developed countries.

[Morgan]

So I'm just blown away that that's his concern anyway.

[Michaela]

And it's like, is this helpful? How is this helpful to her?

[Morgan]

Dude, I need people to start questioning in their heads more before they say stuff. Am I going to be helpful or hurtful with this statement?

[Michaela]

Oh, my God. I think that all the time on Twitter.

[Morgan]

What are you trying to accomplish?

[Michaela]

What is the intent? What is the end goal that you're hoping for? And is what you're saying actually going to achieve that? Will it lead in that direction or does it not? Because then why are we here?

[Morgan]

People need to embrace inside thoughts more. I think there should be a big public initiative.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Make inside thoughts, like, happen more often. Because some of the stuff people have gotten comfortable with saying out loud.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Should not be. They should not be comfortable.

[Michaela]

Yeah. Especially recently. Like, I've seen a lot of commenting on other people's bodies and questioning if they have an eating disorder or questioning if they have xyz. And it's like, like, if you. If your goal is to stop this person from having that issue, do you think commenting like, oh, my God, they're so skinny, is going to achieve that? Or do you think if someone has that, that that will actually encourage them? Like what?

[Morgan]

Like, there's a fine line with that one.

[Michaela]

We need to be Thinking about what our end goal is and if we're actually.

[Morgan]

I know I just saw the greatest video on that. And. And obviously there's so much nuance to that conversation. But the way in which she put it was the best way I've ever heard it be said. I'm gonna have to show you the video. But it's essentially like, we should be able to have the nuance that, like, hey, leave that direct person alone. While also recognizing, like, no, something is clearly not healthy. And the overall problem is, like, portraying that as a healthy image for young girls. There's a difference. And so it's just like, it was a really good video. Yeah.

[Michaela]

I would love to watch it. We've. We've talked about a few topics that have a lot of nuance, unfortunately. Like, that's age, age gap, discourse, and all those things. I hate touching those things because you almost have to say five different variations of like. But also, if this situation, then that's not what we're talking about. Or if, you know, I know there's.

[Morgan]

So much gray area to everything we talk about. And that's why, like, we can have 10 wedding stories. They're all going to be slightly different. They're all going to have a little bit different context. And we're probably gonna have different takes, even two very similar stories.

[Michaela]

Right?

[Morgan]

Totally different takes.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I could wake up tomorrow, and I'm just a little crappier tomorrow. And so my take is a little meaner. You never know. You never know. Like, it's just. That's life.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You need to have, like, a mean episode, dude.

[Michaela]

On a war path.

[Morgan]

I literally. I told someone the other day, someone was like, you're funny. And I'm like, I'm not that funny. And the reality is, like, I know I'm not that funny. I would be funnier if I wasn't scared about being mean.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But I'm like, then is that funny if you're being mean? I don't know. I don't know.

[Michaela]

No. I do find that issue a lot of the time, though, where it's like, there are certain things that you want to be more sensitive about because. But, like, that's because there are other people out there listening that. And you don't want to attack everybody who might relate to certain things as well. I don't know. That's. It's a whole thing.

[Morgan]

It's a whole thing.

[Michaela]

There are certain things that, like, I'll say in a private group chat with my friends that I wouldn't post on Twitter or, like, post to talk about on a podcast. And I think that that's how it should be.

[Morgan]

Inside thoughts as well. Yeah, inside thoughts. Maybe in the group chat. Yeah, keep it in the group chat. So, top comment on this one. Men who think women are looser after childbirth are objectively stupid. Not to mention the men who think that's the only thing that's going to affect their sex life. Laughing emoji.

[Michaela]

So.

[Morgan]

Next comment. Yeah, they'll never get it. Next comment. Because understanding it would involve effort on their behalf, acknowledging their part in relational issues, and attempting to make consistent change after receiving therapy or feedback from their partner. And we all know that's not likely to ever happen. Too lazy, as so many of them prove time and again.

[Michaela]

Also, you shouldn't. Isn't it like, four weeks? You shouldn't have sex after pregnancy anyway.

[Morgan]

It's longer. Yeah, I have six.

[Michaela]

Oh, right, right, right. It's not four. It's longer than four.

[Morgan]

Six weeks. God, that just. It doesn't even sound comfortable.

[Michaela]

Right?

[Morgan]

Like, it's.

[Michaela]

You better control yourself while your wife is healing.

[Morgan]

It's a guy. Don't even get.

[Michaela]

Let's not even start on the people.

[Morgan]

That are like, well, we can't have sex, so can you give me a blow job? I just had a. Your baby. Is that not enough? Is that not enough?

[Michaela]

Oh, my God. Surely you can have some patience.

[Morgan]

You have two hands, likely figure it out.

[Michaela]

Yeah. Yeah, That's a lot. We can't even.

[Morgan]

Yeah, but this one's wild. Absolutely wild. Seeing if there's any comments from op. We do have a few. We definitely use humor to cope with stress, but I still thought he'd be more sensitive over something that has me scared as hell, not worried about how he'll see me postpartum on top of everything else. Intent doesn't negate effect, though. And what would he be even trying to accomplish by telling me this? We're having a serious conversation about the future of our family, and he brings up a different medical procedure for the sake of. Of his own pleasure. Fuck that. Nefarious or not, it's a shitty thing to say. So OP gets it. OP's not being gaslight by this.

[Michaela]

Yeah, I used to think I was a C section because I didn't think being, like, given birth to is something I would do. I thought I was more, like, hatched.

[Morgan]

You feel like you were hatched? Yeah, I wish we could hatch kids.

[Michaela]

But my mom insists that I wasn't a C section, so.

[Morgan]

Shoot.

[Michaela]

Which is crazy, because it's my experience.

[Morgan]

But crazy for to gaslight you like that. Ah, that's an interesting thing to feel hatched.

[Michaela]

I just can't see myself, like, doing the whole birth thing. I just see like. Never mind.

[Morgan]

No, I. I talk about this all the time. Like, I really don't want to be pregnant. Like, I'm kind of in the boat of, like, if it happens once, I'll do it. But, like, I really don't. I'm not like, trying to. I don't know, like, it's weird. It's a weird feeling I have. Like, I'm totally down to like, do other methods. But I'm hoping we'll get to the whole baby in a bag thing very soon. Oh, we talked about this together.

[Michaela]

We might be close to that.

[Morgan]

Have you seen the lambs in a bag?

[Michaela]

No. The lamp with the lambs.

[Morgan]

We haven't talked about this. I. I've talked about it so much on the podcast. I don't want to bore people, but I'll share with you after.

[Michaela]

Yeah, please do. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Baby in a bag.

[Michaela]

Show me the lambs.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Science. Let's get there. Let's get there. So.

[Michaela]

Oh, no.

[Morgan]

The comments do take a turn. And something I do just want to point out again, we keep coming back to age gaps on this one. They started dating when op was 19 and he was 26, which isn't my favorite. And then they've been married for two. We weren't planning on having kids, but we had a slip up on birth control. You start getting into comments from OP regarding birth control. OP did go off the pill and then they were using condoms. However, there's comments here that kind of allude to we've been using condoms. Obviously, condoms fail. And then someone replies, but if he's taking it off, that means no birth control sometimes. And OP goes, he didn't always tell me. That doesn't mean I was trying to get pregnant.

[Michaela]

Oh my God. Every single story, it's like, they're already awful. And then in the comments, it gets so much worse.

[Morgan]

And I don't, like, read the comments a lot of times before. Yeah, like, I'll read the story to make sure the story's good because that's all I need.

[Michaela]

Right?

[Morgan]

And every single comment that keeps coming up today is like, again, yeah, like you said, it just keeps making it worse.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Next comment. Girl, that's called stealthing. Yeah, It's a form of sa.

[Michaela]

This is unfortunately very bad.

[Morgan]

And again, a lot of people will do this because babies and having kids Keep people tied. Like, oh, what the fuck?

[Michaela]

I will say because initially with this story I was like, that is really bad. Maybe there is a chance he was genuinely joking. Still a really bad joke. Still awful to hear. Maybe they could work it out. I don't know. But this is like, oh, and I hate it because I. Because she's having a baby with him. And it's always like, this is really bad. But unfortunately now it's like, what do you do?

[Morgan]

I know. And it's like, okay, this could be one of those that like it's looking really bad but like, isn't. Like it's just a weird circumstance coincidence of events. Like, you know what I mean? I don't know.

[Michaela]

Like, yeah, until we got to the comments.

[Morgan]

I know. I'm just like, I don't know what's happening here. So the most recent comment from OP Again, because this post is only six days old.

[Michaela]

Right.

[Morgan]

And the most recent comment from OP is six days old. So I'm hoping we get an update. And just like, all is well.

[Michaela]

All is well. But I don't know.

[Morgan]

Self absorbed.

[Michaela]

I just. Yeah, it feels like all of the additional information, like she was 19 when they met and he's just sneakily been taking the condoms off sometimes during sex. And it's like, it seems like that kind of thing she's mentioning more casually than the comments.

[Morgan]

I know when it's like, those are.

[Michaela]

Actually even more concerning.

[Morgan]

Well, and like, like op, so the, the reason why people are deducing like he took them off is from OP saying all condoms after I took a break from the pill. I know those aren't 100%. So I guess there was always a risk with him taking it off every now and then.

[Michaela]

Oh, she didn't say sometimes he was doing it without her knowing.

[Morgan]

So I guess there was always a risk of him taking it off every now and then. I don't know if that's definitive.

[Michaela]

I don't know, I'm misunderstood.

[Morgan]

But like other people did in the comments as well. Like everyone, everyone's jumping to conclusions here.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Morgan]

So I'm not sure if it 100%, but like, regardless, he can just as easily poke holes in the condoms. Like if someone wants to baby trap you, they can find ways. We've done episodes on baby trapping. Yeah, it's a big issue.

[Michaela]

I thought he, I thought she made a comment of sometimes he was taking.

[Morgan]

Them off and I didn't know kind of saying that.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Morgan]

It's very like, it's like it could.

[Michaela]

Be interpreted one Way or the other.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And it's like, how dark does your mind go when you hear that?

[Michaela]

I see.

[Morgan]

I guess there was always a risk. Risk. There's always a risk. Yeah, of course, like, that's risk. It's just. It's all out there floating around. Some people quantify it and it.

[Michaela]

The pull out method is not enough, you guys. It's just not enough.

[Morgan]

Pull out method is not a method. I had a friend who.

[Michaela]

Yeah, calling it a method does really kind of like make it sound more than it is.

[Morgan]

Huh? Dude, I literally had a friend who was like 30 years old and we were talking about like, you know, sex and pregnancy and like, do you want kids? Do you want kids soon? And I asked, I was like, do you want, like, do you want kids? She's like, no, not anytime soon. I was like, well, you're not on birth control, right? She goes, yeah, no, no, no. And I was like, so you're using condoms? No, we use the pull out method. And I'm like, so you're trying to get pregnant? Like I always say it like that. Which again, nuance. And she's like, no, like, the pull out method is 96 per. Blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, do you hear yourself?

[Michaela]

96 is not that good.

[Morgan]

I'm like googling it. What is the pullout method? Percent rate. What do I Google?

[Michaela]

Oh, yeah, how successful? What percentage successful is the pullout?

[Morgan]

So what we do know is that withdrawal, withdrawal works about 78% of the time overall.

[Michaela]

78.

[Morgan]

That's not good odds, my friend.

[Michaela]

Even 96 wouldn't be good though, because it's. If you're having sex like what, like every once a week, then that would be like two pregnancies a year.

[Morgan]

That doesn't.

[Michaela]

I'm really bad at math, so don't check me on that, but I think it might be close to accurate. It might be close to.

[Morgan]

Right. Well, there's 365 days in a year.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And like 52 weeks. So if you're having sex like once a week, and that would be like almost 100, but it's half of a hundred. So half of four because it's 96%. So that'd be. Out of a hundred sex times. You would. You would get pregnant four of the sex times. So then half of that because there's 50 something weeks in a year. So like two. Two times a year you're getting pregnant. Is that good?

[Morgan]

I believe you.

[Michaela]

I kind of nailed that.

[Morgan]

I don't, I don't math well, so I'm gonna believe you. I'll let the comments tell us how you did.

[Michaela]

Oh, my God. Like, with the genetics thing where I was like, wouldn't they share 100% genes if they're both.

[Morgan]

Dude, they're siblings. I just don't.

[Michaela]

They were like, well, no girls.

[Morgan]

Cute, but no. Yeah. So don't pull out. Use birth control. Use condoms.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, they protect against STDs. STIs.

[Michaela]

Like, yeah, use.

[Morgan]

Use stuff.

[Michaela]

I practice abstinence personally. Unfortunately, I do.

[Morgan]

Or there's the big A. Or the back door. But again, back door still doesn't protect against diseases, only pregnancy.

[Michaela]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Morgan]

Anyways, I'm not doing it as a birth control method.

[Michaela]

Like, it's not like. That's just. It's just. It's just that.

[Morgan]

I mean, you said unfortunately after you added that, so.

[Michaela]

Well, it's actually not. It's like.

[Morgan]

But it's also by choice.

[Michaela]

Yeah. It's just like sort of an abstinence time for me.

[Morgan]

Coughing season. Nah, abstinence season.

[Michaela]

That's why I think it's funny when it's named as, like, a birth control method, because it's like, who? I mean, I guess there are people, but who's like, not having sex solely.

[Morgan]

For the purpose of, like, birth control.

[Michaela]

EVs. Birth control Mormons, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for them.

[Morgan]

I learned. We went to Utah and did a live show. I learned about soaking.

[Michaela]

Yeah. That was the first time you ever heard of it?

[Morgan]

Well, I had known about it, but.

[Michaela]

You got more info.

[Morgan]

We had a listener come on stage and really tell us about it.

[Michaela]

That's what is so nice about doing a tour all across the country.

[Morgan]

Girl, you really get to interact with the people.

[Michaela]

Yeah, you get to learn a lot.

[Morgan]

It was a good time. Another one of this week's partners is Audible ready to get into a new audiobook? Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Discover this year's top audiobooks, podcast and originals, all in your favorite genres. From memoirs and sci fi to mysteries and thrillers, from romance to well being and fiction. Audible's carefully curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best of the year in audio entertainment. Like an almost unbelievably star studded production of George Orwell's 1984, which both honors and reinvigorates the terrifying classic. It's actually one of the best original dramatizations we've ever heard. Or romance that hits the spot. Like Emily Henry's Funny Story. There's also heartfelt memoirs like Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's Lovely One. And you can listen to the year's best fiction, like the Woman by Kristin Hannah and Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James. And you can even choose your listening speed Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com THT and discover all the years best waiting for you. Okay, this next one coming from our own 2 Hot Takes subreddit yes 5 days old titled AM I the asshole for telling my girlfriend that I don't want to sell my family heirlooms yet despite how immoral she thinks they are to keep? Oh wow.

[Michaela]

Yeah, this is hard to this is hard to know.

[Morgan]

I, 25, female, recently lost my grandmother 90s. She was a wealthy, educated, eccentric and well traveled woman who has a lot of expensive but controversial pieces in her home which I inherited. These include ivory taxidermy of native and exotic animals, minx coats, fox furs, a snake bag and a seal fur jacket. But the most uncomfortable by far is the animal heads mounted on her wall that she inherited from my grandfather's side of the family. Everything is all legal and registered. There's a lot of furniture and other things that belong to my family, long gone. Some of these have been in my family for nearly five generations.

[Michaela]

Oh wow.

[Morgan]

My girlfriend Penny is vegetarian and adamantly against any animal cruelty, which I do agree with. However, our opinions differ on this particular situation. I'm in the camp of most of these animals have been dead for 50 plus years. It's more ethical to wear the clothing than to buy faux fur which is all plastic. Nothing we do will bring the animals back to life. For example, the taxidermy lion head was killed by my great great grandfather in 1912. That lion isn't coming back even if I detest hunting. Penny thinks it's immoral to own them outright. Despite the family connection and timeline of when the animals died. She thinks we should sell them or destroy them outright. She believes the only ethical animal consumption clothing, furniture, et cetera is for museums and cultural practices. We did some digging and the low end is 5,000 to 20,000 and the high end is 50,000 to 200,000 if we sold all the animal products. I'm not totally opposed to selling items, but my grandma died three weeks ago and I want to wait a little bit. I've agreed to remove the heads from the wall slash move the taxidermy, but I've made it clear to Penny that I have no issue wearing the fur as, again, I view it as moral to do so. It's caused some arguments between us, and I'm worried we'll break up over this. My close friends have suggested maybe Penny just wants the money and doesn't care about the sentimental value of the items. But I don't know if I can necessarily fault Penny for that as times are tough with the cost of living crisis. Am I the asshole for this situation?

[Michaela]

I kind. Okay. I think no one is that much of an asshle here.

[Morgan]

No, I think that, like, the issue.

[Michaela]

Is it being so soon and, like, trying to force her to sell it. I. I understand being uncomfortable, like, with those, like, seeing those things. If you're a vegetarian or you're vegan or you feel really strongly about that, like, that to me, isn't that crazy that you would be uncomfortable, like, looking at those things if that's clearly something that important to you, that that's a lifestyle choice you've made?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

But I think bringing this up so soon after the passing and those things, being in their family for so long is a little bit like, okay, like, we can take a break on this and, like, let her have some time before doing the whole moral. Whatever.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Like, this is three weeks. This is very fresh. Which, I don't know, maybe for someone that might be an appropriate timeline. But this person is saying it's not like this person is being like, I just want a little time.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

To grieve and then I can sort stuff. But I find it concerning that Penny did say, like, we should sell them.

[Michaela]

Yeah, that's true.

[Morgan]

There's no we.

[Michaela]

They're just dating.

[Morgan]

You're just dating. You're not married. And I do think it's. It is concerning that even OP was like, my friends are like, maybe Penny just wants the money.

[Michaela]

Right.

[Morgan]

It's not Penny's money.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So that, to me is really weird. It feels like there's some ulterior motives there. And I do agree with OP and, like, this is a hot take, but I've watched a lot of videos from people who are specialists in, like, sustainability.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And especially, like, the meat industry. We had this greenwashing shift, like, oh, faux leather. Faux leather. It's like, no, no, no. It's plastic.

[Michaela]

Right.

[Morgan]

It literally is plastic. Those faux leather jackets are worse for the environment than a leather jacket. Because a lot of times the leather jacket are coming from. This is going to get a little dark if you're not a meat eater or maybe even if you are, it's gross. I don't know. But a lot of that leather, those hides are coming from the meat industry. We produce so much beef in this country. Think of all the restaurants, think of our foods. Like, you're not going to convince millions of people to become vegetarian. It's not going to happen. So if you don't use the leather from the meat industry, then you have an abundance of waste. It actually makes more sense to have a full cycle where you're using every bit of that animal. So why not have leather jackets? Why then make all this plastic? That hurts us more.

[Michaela]

Yeah. Although I think from the vegetarian's perspective, it's not about like the, like, plastic.

[Morgan]

Or like, they would just want waste.

[Michaela]

It's just about the animals. Yeah. In general. But I. Yeah, I personally would wear the. Wear the jackets. I. I don't know, I almost think.

[Morgan]

It'S like I'd be scared to wear the jacket in fear of getting paint thrown on me.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But I don't think, like, if you don't care about the money and you want to keep the jackets, you should be able to keep the jackets.

[Michaela]

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you should be able to keep whatever it is that you do want to keep. I mean, that's a lot of stuff to keep. That's like big home decor choices to be making based on, like, your families. But again, if that's. You might just have intrinsic differences, it feels like, because, yes, this girlfriend might be just doing it for the money, but I also don't think it's completely unbelievable that someone who's vegetarian would just morally really have an issue with this.

[Morgan]

But, like, I feel like the mental gymnastics she's doing is very odd to me. Like, what's this line here? She believes the only ethical animal consumption, clothing, furniture, et cetera, is for museums and cultural practices, which cultural practices I completely get. And then I'm like, well, what's the difference of, like, this person having a private collection in their home if they're not going out killing new animals? What's the difference between that and a museum? And if you truly cared about not profiting and for things to give back because they've already been harvested and you want it to go to a museum, which you believe is okay, then why not donate to a museum versus selling? Yeah. So then why are you selling?

[Michaela]

Because if it's an ethical thing, then selling it doesn't make any sense. If it's just I don't want to see it because it bothers me, then I get it. If it's like, as a vegetarian, like, seeing dead meat really freaks me out or seeing whatever. Like, seeing skin hides freaks me out. I can understand. But, like, sell. Yeah.

[Morgan]

If it's that, Right.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I don't know, because it's like, you're so against these animals, but you're okay accepting the money from the animals.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And selling it to someone else, and then it's still there.

[Morgan]

It's not in a museum.

[Michaela]

At some point, didn't she say that she'd be okay destroying it?

[Morgan]

Yeah, I guess that's the point, too. But do you feel like that's. That. I feel like that's a bluff.

[Michaela]

Maybe. Maybe. I don't know.

[Morgan]

Penny's. Penny's tricky.

[Michaela]

It's tricky. I. Like, this is one of those ones where it's like, yeah, it could be dark and sinister. It is, regardless, inappropriate to be pushing this so soon. And also, like, I also just think pushing it in general, it's weird. Like, it's one thing to say, if we live together, I don't want dead animal hides on my wall or, like, a lion's, you know, carcass on my wall. That's. I get that. Yeah. But, like, telling her what to do with her family heirlooms at any point, I think it's one thing to be like, yeah, it makes me uncomfortable. I don't really want to see it.

[Morgan]

It's super strange.

[Michaela]

I'm struggling with this one. I know you can tell I'm struggling with this one.

[Morgan]

I mean, I fully believe, like, op, not the asshole.

[Michaela]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I'm a little, like, kind of like. Well, Penny's kind of being.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

A little aggressive. Absolutely true. Asshole. If it's truly just her fighting for her beliefs. But then I think it goes to your point, like, maybe you are just mismatched. But I would love more context on, like, how long have you guys been dating?

[Michaela]

Right.

[Morgan]

And, like, just kind of things like that. Like, do you live together? So Penny's worried about this coming to your house. Like, I just want more info.

[Michaela]

Yeah. It's a tough one.

[Morgan]

It's.

[Michaela]

It's a tough one. I don't think. I think if anyone is the asshole, it's Penny. I don't think there's anything wrong, like, morally, even if you're trying to do good for the animals to keep things from, like, five generations of your family that have been long done already.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Like, that's the thing. This is. Again, it's done.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I don't agree with going trophy hunting now. Yeah. I don't think That's. I'm not with that.

[Michaela]

No, I don't either. And I guess you could say, like, this ain't. This is. Is like, normalizing it or this is like, I. I don't know, whatever. Either way, it's too soon. And also it's. It's not going to be your money, so chill out on that. It's. If that's what you think is going to happen.

[Morgan]

A lot more context on Penny.

[Michaela]

But, yeah, I mean, I have a vegetarian roommate and I. If I had family heirloom dead lionheads, I personally wouldn't want it. But I also wouldn't put it in our shared spaces either. You know what I mean?

[Morgan]

Yeah. And that's respectful. I have so many questions. Do you guys use the same pots and pans or do you have your own set?

[Michaela]

We have our own, but she's not. She's not as much of a. Like, she, like, has vegetarian back and forth. She's vegetarian.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Michaela]

But like, last year, she wasn't a vegetarian.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Michaela]

So, like, it's not like she cheats, but I also don't think she's like, as she's not working for PETA.

[Morgan]

Okay. You know, that makes sense. I have a clear image now. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. Listen to your gut on this, Grieve, decide and act later.

[Michaela]

Absolutely.

[Morgan]

Next comment. This OP plus, if you decide to sell any of those items, don't share the money with your girlfriend.

[Michaela]

Yeah. Why would that even be an option? Why would that even be, like, on the table as a possibility?

[Morgan]

That's why I was like, we should sell it. It's. There's no we.

[Michaela]

Yeah, I mean, maybe I would say that in the sense of, like, I'll help you, but it'll be your money. Of course.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

I don't know.

[Morgan]

Again, I want more clarification.

[Michaela]

Am I doing mental gymnastics to defend Penny?

[Morgan]

Maybe. Maybe I'm. I will say I'm against Penny right now. Next comment. It would be immoral of her to enjoy any of the spoils. Agree. It's so weird. I'm going to see if there's any comments from OP I just gotta know. Oh, Op, what are you doing?

[Michaela]

Comments.

[Morgan]

There's no comments.

[Michaela]

I would like a little more context on this one.

[Morgan]

I would, too.

[Michaela]

Like, does she truly expect money from this? Because if so, then. Then that's a freak. That doesn't make any sense to me.

[Morgan]

Like, why?

[Michaela]

And also then that kind of goes against your whole moral argument if you're expecting money from it.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

If it's just. I don't want to be seeing it. Then I think that that makes sense to me as, like, that seems in line with her beliefs in general.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

Sorry, I'm kind of, like, saying the same thing. I've already said a bunch of times.

[Morgan]

I think you're clarifying, but there's.

[Michaela]

If she's expecting money, then absolutely not.

[Morgan]

I agree. Yeah, no, that's a weird mental gymnastic she's doing. Also.

[Michaela]

Leave her alone.

[Morgan]

It's three weeks. Three weeks. Three weeks. So Opie did have an ad that I guess I'll read before we really move along.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Some added info. We're currently staying in my grand's house to sort all of her belongings. That's why I took down the animal heads and moved the taxidermy. I saw some people confused about if I moved all of the stuff back to our apartment. I'm going to do inventory of the heirlooms, slash anything expensive and handle it accordingly. Storage, give them to family, et cetera. Our apartment. So I'm getting the vibe they live together.

[Michaela]

Yeah, they do live together. Yeah. That's so hard. That's actually like. Like, that's one where they just might be morally opposed because I would also struggle with having, like, taxidermy in my house. But then if you really love someone and it, like, really, truly means a lot to them because of, like, if it really meant a lot to them, I could maybe be fine with it.

[Morgan]

I don't know how I'd feel. I'm like, if someone gave me a stuffed lion, would I want it?

[Michaela]

It? Well, I certainly wouldn't want it.

[Morgan]

Personally, I don't know. I'm curious. If I'm like, would I put it in a library? A den? I don't know. Oh, the lion going back in the den.

[Michaela]

Another.

[Morgan]

Damn.

[Michaela]

Another wicked reference. Yeah. I would love more context.

[Morgan]

We need an update on this one for sure.

[Michaela]

Because they're not married, right?

[Morgan]

No.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Just dating.

[Michaela]

Just dating and curious how but living.

[Morgan]

Together, you'd think at least a couple months. Then if they moved in, of course.

[Michaela]

Well, yeah.

[Morgan]

Teach their own. Okay. I have one last one for you. I think I'm gonna give you a choice.

[Michaela]

Oh, wow. A choice.

[Morgan]

A choice.

[Michaela]

Trade offer or no. Or no choice.

[Morgan]

No. I don't know.

[Michaela]

Is your heart leaning in a direction?

[Morgan]

Well. Well, they just have two very different vibes.

[Michaela]

I see.

[Morgan]

I'll read the titles and I'll see where you lean. So this one is titled, am I the asshole for finally talking to my brother's Girlfriend, Should I apologize? Down low Is like everyone lives in the same house with a parent and the girlfriend does some weird behaviors.

[Michaela]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Or option two. My 30 male wife, 30 female, is trying to change an agreement we had. How can I get her to respect my football time?

[Michaela]

Is there one that you prefer? No.

[Morgan]

They're both just so good.

[Michaela]

They are?

[Morgan]

Yeah. I did read. I'm trying to remember what show it was.

[Michaela]

You read one of them at a show.

[Morgan]

I read the football one at a live show. I don't remember which show, but we had some really diverse opinions on it.

[Michaela]

Okay, let's do the football one.

[Morgan]

Football.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay, so this is coming from r relationship advice, 15 days old. So it must have been one of my last tour stints. Arizona, maybe. Was it you? My 30 male wife, 30 female, is trying to change an agreement we had. How can I get her to respect my football time? Hey, Reddit. I am unfortunately a huge Jaguars fan and also a Georgia fan. I went to UGA and I'm still pissed by their loss yesterday. Anyways, it's been seven years since I've been with my lovely wife. Married for three and she's almost perfect.

[Michaela]

Oh, boy.

[Morgan]

When we first got together, I told her that my football time is non negotiable. She initially was great with respecting that until we had a baby. Recently, she's been violating our agreement. I have compromised by giving her my Saturday. Except for the few hours my Bulldogs play, not NFL. She's saying, now that we have a kid, I just can't watch football all Sunday, Monday night, and Thursday night. Which is ridiculous and unfair. Especially since it's not like football is all year round.

[Michaela]

This is hard because, okay, I do understand being really into something like football. You know, I usually will watch, like my team, and sometimes if I'm doing fantasy that year, I'll watch other teams as well. But if you're like a crazy, crazy watcher of football, then it's literally the.

[Morgan]

Majority of the week.

[Michaela]

Like Monday, Sunday, Saturday for college, Thursday, sometimes Fridays. It's like, yeah, it's a whole thing. So there has to be. I think when you have children, things do change and maybe compromises are thought up. Like, hey, what are. What's your favorite team? Or like, you know, your favorite college team and your favorite professional team. Because then that's still six hours a week at least. And then maybe one. Yeah, it's hard because that can be so much. And then it's like, when football season ends, do you watch baseball or basketball or Is that it? Like, is that really it.

[Morgan]

I know. Like, is it just football? But even saying it's just football and it's not. It's not the whole year.

[Michaela]

No. It's four days of the week, though, at least.

[Morgan]

Well, in preseason, the season is getting longer.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Preseason starts August.

[Michaela]

Then sometimes they watch, like, the announcers, and they watch the after shows, and they watch, like, SportsCenter. Yeah.

[Morgan]

There's podcasts, there's shows, but it's August to mid February. August, September, October, November, December, January, February.

[Michaela]

Yeah. That's more than half the year.

[Morgan]

That is more than half the year.

[Michaela]

And more than half the week.

[Morgan]

And I think the thing is, it's like, okay, if you replaced watching football because this is his hobby. This is his passion.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Understand. But if you traded that out for something, say, she could do or even another hobby he could do, where it's like, yeah, I'm going hunting, I'm going fishing. I'm golfing. I know I'm on animals, but it's like, golf is a great example. Like, I'm going golfing four days a week.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

At least, you know, three hours Monday night, three hours Thursday night, three hours Saturday, and all day Sunday.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

No one would be okay with that.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And it is more of a passive, leisurely hobby. But then you need to adjust and like. Like, if you're watching football all day Sunday, the baby is with you all day Sunday, you're at home sitting in front of the tv. But that's not great for a baby to be in front of the tv. So then I'm like, fuck. I'm like, can we, like, strap? Like, can he listen? Would that be okay? Like, if he.

[Michaela]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

To listen. But I'm like, you need to be doing something to trade off. Like, does she get.

[Michaela]

Does she get four days a week? No, because there aren't that many days left.

[Morgan]

I just, like. I get. I don't want him to neglect his passion. But at the same time, like, you did decide to have a kid.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And also, you don't have to watch every single game. You. I swear to God, you'll be okay if you don't watch every single game. Like, who is really that passionate about every single game?

[Morgan]

This is my little brother. And I told that to people on the live show. I go, my little brother is this person. He doesn't even watch, like. Like, single games. He puts on the red zone where, like, there's four split screens happening at once, and then it'll shift to every touchdown. Oh, you little super fan.

[Michaela]

Well, I play fantasy football. And that's like, one of the only reasons that you would watch every single game because you have players on all of the teams. Yeah, but, like, I can't imagine actually doing that with, like, a family. And like, I. Again, I don't watch every single game because, like, I don't have a player sometimes on Thursdays or I don't have them on Mondays, or, like, it's just something like, I don't watch college football either. Like, you really can pick and choose. And I do think sometimes this becomes an excuse to, like, skirt childcare and, like, skirt responsibilities. Although I know that there is, like, a genuine place of. I really enjoy this and this is what I've loved doing for forever. Although, like, whatever. But then. And also it's like, well, it's football time, so I get to be alone. And actually now the. These two random ass teams are playing each other. I've got to go to the basement to watch that. And then, like, sit on your phone and actually just have your own space. It almost feels like it's a cop out. It's a cop out too.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

Even though it can be that you're genuinely interested in every single fucking NFL game that exists. But come on.

[Morgan]

Well, and that's the thing. Like, if this was his career and he was an announcer, he was a stat guy.

[Michaela]

Why not?

[Morgan]

It would be a different argument. But this is a passion. And, like, you're in a season of life right now where you just had a baby. And like, she's saying, like, hey, we have a kid. Like, there's gotta be a little give and take. And then he. What? I think what really pisses me off about this one is he's like, well, I have compromised already by giving her my Saturdays. Except for the few hours my Bulldogs play, the free hours.

[Michaela]

That's a long time.

[Morgan]

Again, it's then four days of the week, it's a majority of the week, which, like, you're. You're basically, like, splitting 50. 50.

[Michaela]

Like, it's also, you're saying that, like, you're saying that she was totally fine about this until you had a baby. So clearly the only reason this is coming up is because, like, things have changed and it's important now and your time is more needed. Like, this isn't just her wanting more of your time first. I don't know.

[Morgan]

No, I. I think so. It's like, it's a time of need right now. And it's like, maybe, maybe she didn't anticipate. Maybe she thought she could do it on her own. Maybe she didn't, you know, think it would be an issue. And she was okay with it.

[Michaela]

Her first thought when she got pregnant probably wasn't like, oh, no, football.

[Morgan]

Yeah, football.

[Michaela]

Is he gonna be okay with not watching football on Fridays and Thursdays?

[Morgan]

I mean, there's going to be eventually. I do think this, like, I could see there being football every day of the week.

[Michaela]

Yeah, there's always like a random day where I'm like, wait, why are they playing today?

[Morgan]

I know, like, when they have games in, like, Brazil or. Yeah, London, stuff like that. It is very interesting. We do have a couple comments from.

[Michaela]

OP okay, what's he saying to us?

[Morgan]

The first one I see him respond to is, this is something so little, though. It was like a verbal agreement. Right. Like, I can understand if you need your me time or football time. Basically, just talk to her and come to a compromise. Because a successful marriage is all about communication and commitment, to which compromise branch off from those two things. Okay. And then Opie goes, I've been trying to compromise, but it's like, you give her an inch and she asks for a mile. I love my wife.

[Michaela]

I hate this guy.

[Morgan]

And she is great outside of this.

[Michaela]

I give her an inch. He like, he moved from all day Saturday to only three hours of Saturday. And he's like, I gave her so much of my time. Sorry, you want the entire weekend to yourself for the majority of the year. And she just has to watch the baby. Because you spoke about it when you were children and you weren't married and you didn't have kids. And she was like, yeah. And she stuck by that until it became a time of need.

[Morgan]

Oh, we do have a comment about someone asking for clarification on wife's free time. Yeah, they go, when does your wife have free time? You're asking for 20ish hours a week. What does she get? And OP responds, on non football days, I do the majority of the cooking and cleaning. Also, by the time Monday and Thursday Night Football are on, we already put the baby to sleep. And someone goes, when you're cooking and cleaning, who's watching your kid? And Opie goes, look, I know where this is going, but I also get off work before my wife does. So by the time she gets home, I already did the baby stuff. Okay, I appreciate that.

[Michaela]

Yeah, like, that's great.

[Morgan]

And I. I then would say, like, like, okay, so Mondays and Thursdays, football, locked in 100. Baby's asleep. I got no issue with that. Baby's asleep. I'm actually gonna go and do some wine night with the girls. I'm gonna go a book club. I'm gonna go to sewing. I'm gonna do something.

[Michaela]

Right.

[Morgan]

There's her time. He can sit at home with a baby monitor next to him. I'm down for that. But then it's like you're giving up both weekend days for football.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

There's gotta be a this weekend, you can pick Saturday, next weekend, you pick Sunday. Like you don't need to be plastered to the TV both weekend days. Right.

[Michaela]

Because that's still. They both work on the weekdays. So then where's your Sandy? She just doesn't get the. And she doesn't get the weekend days.

[Morgan]

No. Like she's giving up her weekend so we can watch football all week and.

[Michaela]

Then also has to watch the baby all weekend so we can watch football.

[Morgan]

I would also just like feel from like emotional and mental stimulation, like with my partner. Like, I would feel so neglected. Like it's a weekend, we have a baby. Like, let's go to an apple orchard. Let's. Let's take the baby out and go on a hike. Let's do something. Like, this is also an important development time and for you to not be bonding with your family.

[Michaela]

Yeah. And this clearly isn't someone who's saying, you can't watch football. You can never watch football.

[Morgan]

No.

[Michaela]

Like, this has been something that she's been okay with for all of your relationship. She's agreed to it. She's stood by that. As you said yourself until you had kids. Like, it's not a situation where this woman is just saying you can never watch football.

[Morgan]

No. It doesn't feel like a bait and switch. It doesn't feel like one of those.

[Michaela]

It's not.

[Morgan]

Where it's like, oh, you can watch football. And then she gets the marriage, she gets the baby, and then it's like, no football. She's not even saying that. Like, she's just like, hey, like just, we need a little more. I need a little help.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

She's probably like in over her head. At least it doesn't feel like a bait and switch to me. But. But some people might have different takes. I'd love to hear them.

[Michaela]

That would be a crazy bait and switch. I'm going to trick him into marrying me and then, haha, I take your football away.

[Morgan]

It's crazy. And I'm thinking in my head and I'm like, if the genders were flipped and she had something that was like.

[Michaela]

Yeah, like watching the Bachelorette.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

Four days a week, all day Sunday.

[Morgan]

I'd say that's she has to watch.

[Michaela]

The baby whenever she's watching the Bachelorette.

[Morgan]

I'd say that's unhinged. I go, that's a little too much.

[Michaela]

She just has, like, all of her favorite reality TV shows all day. Too much for seven months of the year.

[Morgan]

Nope. You gotta compromise.

[Michaela]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Morgan]

Put on a reality show podcast that gives you spark notes instead. Like, you can stay caught up, but it's a little much.

[Michaela]

Yeah, 1,000%.

[Morgan]

I think he's being a little selfish.

[Michaela]

I don't think he is thinking about it from her perspective. I think he's, like, too honed in on that. She told me this years ago thing.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Michaela]

And not in the. We have a baby now.

[Morgan]

Yeah. That's something that I encounter a lot. And I think the ability to be flexible is something I really hold dear and I really appreciate with people like you today. Like, and, like, I feel like every time we record, I'm like, I need to sleep a little more. Can we push an hour? And like, we're like, I just appreciate the flexibility so much. And some people. Some people don't have that. I feel like that's, like, not an innate characteristic of some people where it's like, hey, yeah, okay, I'll be there at 4. But it's like, if you show up at 4:15, it's the end of the world for them. Like, they do not have the ability to adapt or be fluid with plans.

[Michaela]

Or in a disagreement. They're, like, really hanging on to that.

[Morgan]

One thing, that one time. Yeah, you let me down. Or blah. And it's like, exactly. Okay, but that was one time. And like, like, you can't keep holding that, like, dagger in my back. Like, we have to move on. We have to move on. And if we can't move on, it's not going to work.

[Michaela]

Right. She had never been a mother before either. Like, neither of you had ever been parents. The things you agreed to about your time and your priorities changes when you have a child. Hugely shocking. I know. Can't imagine your priorities have to change when you have a kid, but they do. And I'm shocked that yours haven't just changed by yourself. Like, sorry, they should just. You should have just decided that your child had become more important than some of your Sunday games and Saturday games.

[Morgan]

You would think.

[Michaela]

You would think.

[Morgan]

You would think. Top comment on this one. Yeah, you have a baby. You can't just expect to tune out and leave her to It. So you can watch football for hours. Does she get her time for hours? A day's day of the week? Yeah. Does she get three nights a week free to do anything she wants without interruption? I'm guessing not.

[Michaela]

Yeah. That was a good one, though. I understand why there were different opinions.

[Morgan]

Because I don't want him to lose his passion. Of course. But I love football.

[Michaela]

I love watching football. Not this season as much because Cowboys aren't.

[Morgan]

The Cowboys are doing really Minnesota scraping by, scraping by. And I'm just like, I'm not going to get my hopes up. We are. Our quarterback situation is stressful. Cause for concern.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Well, we're nine and two and you.

[Michaela]

Can enjoy things and be normal about it.

[Morgan]

Yeah, nine and two. I watched yesterday.

[Michaela]

That's really good, actually.

[Morgan]

I know, but football, like, a lot of people enjoy football, but.

[Michaela]

And then they still balance healthy lives.

[Morgan]

Let's be a little more reasonable.

[Michaela]

Don't.

[Morgan]

My brother, he needs to find a better balance. He needs a girlfriend. He needs a girlfriend. Someone. It was so funny. Oh, my God. I posted on. On the Instagram for like, game time because they sent us to the Vikings game and someone on the comments was like, I swiped on your brother on hinge, but it wasn't a match. And I'm like.

[Michaela]

That'S so funny.

[Morgan]

So I'm like, I think he does need a girlfriend. Maybe he'd be a little better about.

[Michaela]

Football, but it's a Morgan's brother call out right now.

[Morgan]

Yeah, Taylor, He's a character. He's a good kid, but he's a character.

[Michaela]

Those were good stories.

[Morgan]

I hope everyone agrees. I tried to have a well rounded, balanced episode.

[Michaela]

Yeah, I'm interested. I'm interested to see because I do feel there will be some disagreements.

[Morgan]

I think there's going to be a lot of strong opinions.

[Michaela]

I think so as well. I'm nervous about it.

[Morgan]

No, we're all entitled to our own opinions.

[Michaela]

Yeah, that's so true.

[Morgan]

Just be civil.

[Michaela]

Just some are better than others.

[Morgan]

Michaela, where can everyone find you?

[Michaela]

Hi, I'm Mikayla Oakland on Instagram and Twitter. Although I'm like, should I leave Twitter? I don't know. We're still thinking about it.

[Morgan]

Blue sky, baby.

[Michaela]

I know, but I don't remember my password or my email. But I'll find it. I'll figure it out.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I actually really like it.

[Michaela]

Yeah, I have an account. I just need to get back in.

[Morgan]

It's giving me like, og Twitter vibes. Like, it's very, like, happy and funny.

[Michaela]

I love that, like, it's. It's funny that, like, Threads isn't getting that space too.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Michaela]

Like, I really thought Threads was going to be something.

[Morgan]

I know. Well, I. What I appreciate about Blue sky is that it's, like, open source, and so it's like it cannot be bought by someone or controlled in that way.

[Michaela]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Which I really. I really like. It does feel more neutral. Yeah, I really like it. I watched some, like, news story with, like, one of the founders or something on it, and I was like, I like this.

[Michaela]

Good for them. Yeah, good for them. When they say that they're making social media to be neutral, and then they actually do make social media to be neutral.

[Morgan]

Shocking. Absolutely shocking. But thank you guys so much for being here. Another episode. We have amazing content on Patreon for this month. November, if you're hearing this in December, it's still there. And if you join in December, you get all of December's content and November's content and October's content, and September, you get all the content. There's a back catalog of, I think, at least 500 posts on our Patreon.

[Michaela]

Whoa.

[Morgan]

And depending on when you're hearing this, the top two tiers are 50% off until December 2nd. So come on over and join us. It's going to be really fun. But thank you again for being here. And until next time, bye.