197: Leaving it in 2024..

Summary

Episode 197: Leaving it in 2024

Release Date: December 26, 2024
Podcast: Two Hot Takes
Host: Morgan Absher

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Introduction: Reflecting on 2024

In the season finale of Two Hot Takes for 2024, host Morgan Absher and her co-hosts delve into a heartfelt discussion about leaving behind the negative aspects of the past year. They explore the idea of evolving the podcast by potentially involving grandparents, emphasizing the value of their wisdom and experience. This episode sets the tone for embracing positive changes and moving forward into 2025 with optimism.

Notable Quotes:

• Morgan (00:30): "This is the last Two Hot Takes episode of 2024. Forever."
• Co-host C (02:16): "I actually think that that would be such a good podcast. I would actually love if you started bringing on just, like, random grandparents."

---

Segment 1: Am I the Asshole – Mother-in-Law Naming Issue

The first story examines a Reddit post where a user questions whether they are in the wrong for being upset with their mother-in-law for consistently calling their son by a girl's name.

Key Points:

• Original Post (06:00): A user is upset because their mother-in-law calls their 4-month-old son by a girl's name despite requests to stop.
• Discussion Highlights:
  • Importance of respecting parents' choices in naming their child.
  • The passive-aggressive nature of the mother-in-law's behavior after repeated requests.
  • Suggestions to set clear boundaries and assertively address the issue.

Notable Quotes:

• Co-host A (07:22): "If parents have strong rules about how they wanna raise their kids, all of the other people should respect that."
• Co-host B (10:32): "He's trying to give his stamp right on the forehead. Stop deadnaming people don't make up names for kids that aren't their names."

Top Listener Comment (10:32): "Start calling mother in law by the wrong name, preferably the male version of her name. This is not in good fun. This is disrespectful."

---

Segment 2: Infidelity and Emotional Turmoil

The next story focuses on a woman grappling with her boyfriend's infidelity, which led to the birth of another child.

Key Points:

• Original Post (16:45): A 24-year-old female discovers her 23-year-old boyfriend cheated and impregnated another woman four months ago.
• Discussion Highlights:
  • The complexity of emotions when infidelity involves a best friend.
  • The timing of the confession during finals week as possibly self-serving.
  • The long-term impact on trust and whether the relationship can be salvaged.
  • Emphasis on prioritizing personal well-being and education over a toxic relationship.

Notable Quotes:

• Co-host A (17:02): "Cheating is something people work through or they don't. It's like you're staring up at Mount Everest."
• Co-host B (21:12): "You never know what their guys nights look like. Sad thing is, I think we all know what their guys nights are like."

Top Listener Comment (22:05): "Hold your finals, hold your tears, but do not hold on to this man. He didn't just cheat. He created a whole new life while playing house with you."

---

Segment 3: Drunken Actions and Relationship Abuse

This segment discusses a distressing Reddit post where a woman admits to drunkenly flashing her husband's friends, leading to accusations of cheating and escalating abuse.

Key Points:

• Original Post (29:00): A 36-year-old female drunkenly flashed her boyfriend's friends, causing severe repercussions in her marriage.
• Discussion Highlights:
  • Recognition of abusive and controlling behavior from the boyfriend.
  • The importance of recognizing red flags and abusive patterns in relationships.
  • Encouragement to seek support and consider leaving an abusive partner for personal safety and well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• Co-host B (33:35): "I would peg him as an abuser right now. This is abusive."
• Co-host C (38:00): "Like, you're always trying to find the truth, trying to see if there's actually something else behind what they're saying to you."

Top Listener Comment (43:54): "You're the asshole. This is how you plan to treat her for the rest of your life? Call it off for her sake?"

Update (126:17): The original poster confirms leaving her abusive boyfriend after escalating physical abuse, receiving overwhelming support from the hosts and listeners.

Notable Quotes from Update:

• Co-host B (127:08): "I ultimately decided to tell my wife the truth."
• Co-host C (128:20): "Love wins at the end of the day."

---

Segment 4: Boundary Issues in Relationships

Another Reddit post explores a mother questioning her son's treatment of his fiancée, feeling he is acting like a child towards her.

Key Points:

• Original Post (50:30): A mother is concerned that her 26-year-old son treats his 23-year-old fiancée like a child, with examples like brushing her hair and feeding her.
• Discussion Highlights:
  • Differentiating between affectionate gestures and patronizing behavior.
  • Reflecting on societal norms and personal boundaries within relationships.
  • Encouraging open communication between parents and adult children.

Notable Quotes:

• Co-host B (51:39): "This is love. This is love."
• Co-host A (55:36): "Let your son fly out of the nest. Not this helicopter buzzing around all the time."

Top Listener Comment (57:44): "'Am I the asshole?' Sounds like jealousy to me. You're the asshole."

---

Segment 5: Long-Term Lies in Marriage

The final story revolves around a man who lied about his favorite meal for over a decade, cooking chicken parmesan for his wife instead of his true favorite, chicken Alfredo.

Key Points:

• Original Post (104:22): A man questions whether he should reveal to his wife after 11 years that he was lying about his favorite meal.
• Discussion Highlights:
  • Evaluating the significance of minor lies in long-term relationships.
  • The potential impact of honesty versus maintaining feelings through small fabrications.
  • Balancing self-disclosure with relationship harmony.

Notable Quotes:

• Co-host A (107:59): "You didn't make it any bigger. It's just not worth lying about."
• Co-host B (117:43): "If you think you can pull that maneuver off, then go for it. If not, you'll take it to the Grave."

Top Listener Comment (118:22): "I don't know if my husband said, 'My love, I have a terrible secret.' I said the wrong meal that day. He laughed and now we have an inside joke. This long funny story is the best part of our long life together."

Update (127:26): The original poster reveals that upon confessing, his wife found humor in the situation, turning the lie into a cherished inside joke that strengthened their bond.

Notable Quotes from Update:

• Co-host C (127:16): "I just saw my wife laugh after I confessed. It became our incredible inside joke."
• Co-host B (129:36): "Love is love. I am incredibly happy for them."

---

Conclusion: Embracing Change and Moving Forward

As the hosts wrap up the episode, they encourage listeners to reflect on what they wish to leave behind in 2024 and what positive changes they aim to embrace in 2025. The episode emphasizes personal growth, healthier relationships, and the importance of setting boundaries.

Closing Remarks:

• Co-host B (130:14): "Let your relationship evolve. Embrace the new and leave the negative in 2024."
• Morgan Absher (133:00): "Thank you so much for being here, supporting the show, and continuing to listen. Happy holidays and until next year."

Notable Quotes:

• Co-host C (129:58): "Love wins at the end of the day."
• Co-host A (139:00): "Choose love."

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 197 of Two Hot Takes serves as a poignant reflection on leaving behind the year's negativity and fostering positive change. Through engaging discussions on various Reddit and relationship dilemmas, Morgan and her team offer insightful advice, support, and humor, encouraging listeners to prioritize their well-being and cultivate healthier relationships in the coming year.

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Follow Morgan on Instagram @morgsyabsher. Listen to exclusive stories on Patreon Two Hot Takes. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for full-length videos YouTube Channel.

Transcript

[A]

Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck.

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I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.

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We're like the three chip. The chipmunks, the Christmas Chipmunks.

[B]

Alvin.

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See, it works that I'm in the middle because Balance out the blues.

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Oh, my God, you're so good. We got to get you in the studio with Justin, start making some actual music.

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A Chipmunk Christmas album.

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I could. I could sing Chipmunk. See, with a filter, I'd be so down to sing, and I think me with a filter would be good.

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Oh, my God. What could we, like? We could sing like Mary did. You know I heard the, like, Pentatonix version of that song recently, and I was like, okay, this goes hard.

[B]

This goes hard. No, it's good. Are we ready, friends?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. I'm really nervous for this episode.

[C]

Why Queen?

[B]

Well. Well, this is the last two hot takes episode of 2024 Forever. I know. I kind of paused there a little bit, and I'm like. It's. It's actually the last one.

[A]

It's kind of like when One Direction was like. We're taking an indefinite pause.

[C]

Is that how they worded it?

[A]

Something like that, yeah. It's always the language of, like. It keeps you hoping.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then you just kind of know.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's never going to happen again.

[B]

That will be a crazy day when I announce I'm done.

[C]

How dare you say that that could ever happen?

[A]

You picture her being 80? Like, am I the asshole for kicking?

[C]

I actually think that that would be such a good podcast. I would actually love if you started bringing on just, like, random grandparents.

[B]

My grandma's been on my dad's show. We did an episode with my grandma. She's 80.

[C]

She could be incredible.

[B]

I'm trying to get her on my podcast. I think this trip home, I could really do it.

[C]

Is she, like, against it a little bit, or.

[B]

No, she's chill.

[C]

My mom doesn't want to be on my podcast.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

She just doesn't want to be perceived by the Internet.

[B]

Parents with podcasts could be such a thing. And we just rotate parents every episode.

[C]

But grandparents, even better in my opinion. Am I humble?

[B]

Well, yeah. They're so wise.

[A]

The stories, the experience.

[B]

They've been through so much and they.

[C]

Get so like straight up. They get. They really get to it. They don't waste no time.

[A]

Well, I've become surprised how grandparents are just now that we are the age we are, are just down to talk about things and you're like, oh, I thought this was so taboo.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Like this doesn't exist in grandparents world.

[B]

I know.

[A]

But we don't realize grandparents all, they're.

[C]

Living life as well.

[A]

Long time ago. They'd been doing all this long before us.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

Recently when I heard that like our generation or Gen Z is having less sex than any generation before, I was like, so what is mean about what kind of life was my. Were my grandparents? I don't think they were actually my grandparents got. Well, the ones that I know got married at like 18.

[A]

Depends if they're boomers.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they were booming.

[B]

Oh, wait, that's.

[A]

They were booming.

[B]

It's in the name. It wasn't.

[A]

It was the parents of the boomers. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Which is the silent generation.

[A]

The silent was getting it all silent was going crazy. Imagine that time.

[B]

Yeah, well. And I think even now I'm forgetting the stat because it's been a while since I've heard it. But like STDs in nursing homes are rampant. Oh, rampant. They do be banging. They're going out.

[C]

Good for them. And what else should they do? Podcasting.

[A]

Yeah, I'm gonna go mobile rig. The rig just like rolls in, has two chairs on it, two mics.

[B]

It's got a ramp. Sit down grandma with a walker or a chair. I think that's my goal. 2025.

[C]

Oh my God. I would love like a video episode of you reading to hot. Take stories to like a panel of grandmothers. Like five, 80 year old women.

[B]

I love say less.

[C]

It's beautiful to me.

[A]

So my boyfriend, 2025, it will happen. And he stomps it down the drain.

[B]

I think that's what we do.

[A]

What do you guys think? All you know, what do you guys think about that?

[B]

Let me know if you guys want that. In 2025. I read some of the most iconic stories. We'll do bracket style. Two hot takes to decide the winners. It'll be like March Madness.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

And we'll bring on some seniors and we'll see what they think of these stories.

[A]

You be careful.

[C]

Perfect.

[A]

You don't want to get their blood pressure too high.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Coconut story.

[B]

And then could you imagine? I wouldn't. I wouldn't want that blood on my hands.

[C]

I bet there are a lot out there that listen to this podcast though. Like my mom, she's not like a grandmother. Age, she's very young. She's middle aged. She's only like 60. But she loves like am I the asshole Stories so much. She loves looking at the make her way to Facebook, I guess when she sees them. But she also loves this podcast as well. But I think you probably have a lot of seniors out there. Hey girls.

[B]

Hey boys. I'll put together an application form or you can nominate your grandma or grandpa.

[C]

The golden two Hot takes.

[B]

Yep, the golden takes. This is going to be good.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

But that's next year. Next year we've got some really big, really crazy things going on. But this year, this episode, the last of 2024 realist in they're all stories that have to do with things we want to leave in 2024. Bad energy, bad boyfriends, bad mom in laws. You name it. They're all things we're leaving in the past. Obsessed. Are we ready?

[C]

Locked in.

[B]

Let's div. Okay. Up first. This is coming from our very own Too hot takes subreddit 21 hours old. Titled am I the for getting upset with my mother in law for calling my son by the wrong name because she likes it.

[C]

This diva.

[B]

My son is 4 months old. My husband and I absolutely love his name. However, my mother in law recently started calling him a girl's version of his name because she likes the name. Mother in law does not live near us, so at least it isn't to his face. My husband has told her to not call him that because not only is it not his name, but but it's typically a girl's name. We just received Christmas gifts in the mail from mother in law with the girl's name and a smiley face written on his gift. Am I the asshole for being upset about this? Should we just let it go?

[C]

I just think if parents have strong rules about how they wanna raise their kids, all of. All of the other people should respect that. I would love to know what the names are so that I could be like, all right, like, is it really that crazy like Marty and calling a Mart? I don't know, like, yeah.

[B]

Or Marta like Mart.

[A]

Hey, Mart.

[C]

I was just closest, top of my head.

[B]

But like it. I totally agree. It's like Alex, they're not Alexa. Yeah, that's what I'M envisioning or like something close.

[A]

Justin, Justine or Alex.

[C]

And like Alexi. Like, I don't know.

[B]

Alexandra. Yeah, it's like Alexander, Alexandra. Like, it feels like a really passive aggressive like. And it's like, okay, that's his mom. Maybe she's always wanted a girl. And it's like, well, this is your grandson. Like, what, what are you trying to do? Like, you're trying to give this kid a complex. Like, I don't know, it's. We. It's just weird. It's so passive aggressively weird. Especially once they've asked her to stop.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And she's still doing it.

[C]

Yeah. And that's your child's name for what?

[B]

What?

[A]

Well, it's like, I don't know how much effect in the long run it would actually have on your child, but if you want to set.

[B]

I'd be fucked up. I'd be like, grandma doesn't know my name.

[A]

Yeah, but you pick up nicknames. Like you get nicknames in middle school from. And you don't choose them and it just happens. And it's like imagine your parents went and hunted down everyone. It's like you need to call and just. I don't know. I get it because it's within the family and it's so direct to where it's being written on a card and on a gift where it's kind of like, message not received. I'm gonna keep doing this and I don't care. Then you gotta start setting the boundary.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[C]

I mean, my name is Mikayla and some of my friends call me Mitch, which is like kind of a boy's name, but I also think it's cute. I don't think it would've given me a complex growing up. But I think like, what's important is if parents say we don't want them watching this TV rating or we don't want them, blah, blah, blah. I think that the external or whatever family should respect that, especially if they've said it and they mean it.

[B]

Movies is a big one. And like, food grandparents will fight. Like, if they're like, we really don't want her having two whole chocolate cakes and. And Snickers and Mountain Dew. Like, let's give her an apple, maybe some carrots and then a cookie. And grandma's like, are you. You're not going to tell me how to babysit when I'm watching my grandkid?

[A]

It's like, yeah, the grandparents do that with dogs real bad. Oh my God, the dogs are always sick after Grandma watches them, you know what I'm saying?

[C]

Is that a thing?

[B]

Yeah, always. Dustin might have some personal history with that one.

[A]

Always.

[B]

Yeah. Justin's grandma's dog was also like 200 pounds.

[A]

No, his other grandma.

[C]

Oh, oh, all the grandmas.

[B]

But the other grandma's bad with it too. Both grandmas.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'd have conversations with her at family gatherings, but it was, you know, when the dogs would physically stay with grandma. But I gotta say, I turned out okay. And maybe I did get an extra couple cookies, but I'm good. Okay. I enjoyed them.

[B]

So. Top comment on this one. Start calling mother in law by the wrong name, preferably the male version of her name. This is not in good fun. This is disrespectful.

[C]

Get her ass.

[B]

Next comment. They need to start calling mother in law the name of father in law's ex girlfriends before he met mother in law. That will hit pretty hard. Oh my God. That's what I'd do. But I'm petty as fuck. Okay, Kimmy Mack, these women from 40 years ago. Why am I in it? Damn. Kimmy Mac is coming with a vengeance. Someone goes, I see you, twin. I'd be at the bottom of the barrel right with you. This is crazy. This comment goes, I had a friend for years that spelled my name wrong all the time. He has a uniquely spelled name too. Derek. D E R E K. That is a normal spell.

[C]

That's a normal. That's one. That's a really common name.

[B]

I'm like, my uncle's Derek. It's D E R I C. But like, I feel like. I feel like D E R E.

[C]

K is really a common name. But I love that.

[B]

Finally tried correcting him to no avail. One day I texted him, okay, Derek. And he went on a tirade about how that wasn't how you spell his name, how long had we been friends, etc. Petty is the only language some people respond to. Next comment. Isn't Derek the standard spelling? Okay, thank you, thank you. R E K. Like that's the only.

[C]

Thing on my mind now. Not even the actual. Am I the ass? I'm like, Derek. I'm like going through all the names. That's always like, if you get a souvenir, they've got preset names on them. Derek's gonna be on there.

[B]

Most common way to spell Derek. Double R's Derek. D E R E K is the correct spelling of this common first name? Yeah, Derek is the most widely accepted and used.

[C]

That's what I was thinking.

[A]

This Story. A little bit's giving. Bach from Wicked.

[B]

Oh, bock bok bok bok bok bok bok me and no. No one saw the remix.

[C]

I did see. I actually did see that today.

[B]

It's like a dubstep remix and the.

[C]

Actress, like, kind of like dancing to it. I did.

[B]

I didn't see that.

[C]

Oh, she posted it. She was like, sure, what the hell, sure.

[B]

Marissa.

[C]

Yeah. Who you met.

[B]

She's. Sorry, sorry, sorry. How can we make every episode about Wiki?

[A]

Because it's constantly mispronounced the whole show.

[B]

Bach.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Is it?

[B]

She calls him bicycle.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just Glinda.

[C]

She's doing her best.

[B]

So we do have some edits.

[C]

Ooh, edits.

[B]

Yeah, edit. Mother in law lives across the country, so we see her once or twice a year. She called my husband a week or so ago while he was at work. He can chat at the phone at work as long as he's doing his job. And this topic came up since he was at work. He was limited to what he can say, obviously, but he is on the same page as me and hates it and will be calling her. This is a relatively new issue within the last week or so. Also, no contact is not an option as the house we currently rent is theirs. Edit number two. I've met a few people with his name and it's gained popularity over the past year or so. It isn't common, but it's not uncommon. Per my name, stats. Com. His Name is used 94% of the time for boys, and the girl name she's calling him is used 99% of the time for girls.

[A]

And it is.

[C]

I mean, it's bad. Like, you shouldn't do this either way just because they asked you not to. But I do wonder if she's doing it for a gendered reason or if she just thinks it's cute. I don't think that affects, like, it being. Just stop doing it. But I'm wondering.

[A]

Trying to put her stamp.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right on the forehead.

[B]

We do find out the name.

[C]

Oh, thank God.

[B]

Edit three. Okay. His name is Brooks.

[C]

She's calling him Brooke.

[B]

She's calling him Brooklyn.

[C]

Oh, I mean, I could see why she would just think that'd be a cute nickname. That doesn't change my opinion about, like, just stop doing it when the parents tell you to stop.

[B]

Yeah, but like, Brooklyn, my first.

[C]

That's kind of gender neutral to me.

[B]

Well, my first thought is city. Like, I always think Brooklyn, New York. But like, every Brooklyn I've ever met has been a girl. So I'm like, I would calling it a. Like, calling that, you know, I'd be like, but didn't we know a cat named Brooklyn? Wasn't there a cat named Brooklyn that you knew? Yeah. So I'm like, it gives animal name too.

[C]

Brooklyn has a lot of options for what it could be.

[B]

I love the name Brooks. I will just say, like, I love Brooks. That is a good name.

[C]

I want to write that down.

[A]

I was on chess team with Brooks.

[B]

I love Brooks. Like, some of those other ones. Like, someone just named their baby River. I forget some celebrity I just. I love. Like, yeah, it's hard to think of.

[C]

A good boy name. Boy names are harder.

[B]

Oh, I got a list.

[C]

Oh, good for you.

[B]

I'll show you.

[C]

I'd like to see it.

[B]

It's good. Francis is on there. I love the name Francis. I think that's a good one.

[A]

Fran.

[B]

Not Fran. That's giving father of the bride the wedding planner Fran. Which God, I need a wedding. We're gonna do that. That's another day. But, yeah. No, I don't think. Asshole. I think really hubby needs to put his foot down.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's really a relatively minor issue, but if it bothers you that much, then get it sorted and stick to it.

[B]

Just call people the right name in 2025. Let's just work on that. Don't dead name people don't make up names for kids that aren't their names. Like, let's embrace being respectful.

[A]

I'm keep trying to give you a nickname.

[B]

No, I love nicknames. He tries to call me Mo.

[C]

That's cute.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You guys, it's the bartender from the Simpsons. I can't be.

[A]

Not what I think of in that nickname. No, it's just Mo.

[C]

No, it's kind of cute, but, like, if you don't like it. Yeah, then, you know, that's.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

That's. That's.

[B]

That I think you can do better is the point.

[A]

All the others are taken, but it's good.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Moving to the next one. This is coming from r Relationship advice titled, My 24 Female Boyfriend. 23 male cheated 4 months ago and got a girl pregnant. What the do I do now?

[C]

Leave him in 2024?

[B]

He just told me today during finals week. We've been together for six years. Known each other for seven. He said it happened four months ago and the girl just texted him saying she's pregnant and doesn't know if she wants to get rid of it or not? Well, we planned to get a house together and live together forever, but now I honestly don't know. I thought he was good. He's my best friend. I just feel nothing right now. Honestly, it hasn't even hit me. We never really fought. We got along. Same values and interests. I'll let myself hurt after finals. I feel gross for letting him touch me after he did that. Even though I didn't know. I feel bad about myself for still loving him. He's my best friend. I thought we were going to be together forever. What am I supposed to do now? I feel so lost and confused.

[A]

I think the reality is, you know, cheating is something people work through or they don't. Cheating and getting someone pregnant, it's kind of like you're staring up at Mount Everest, and at the top is a potential happy, perfect relationship for you guys in the end. I don't know if it's worth going to battle for that, but it comes down to you. But I think you're really thinking. I mean, it just happens you're thinking out of emotion and probably not a ton of logic. So I'd let some time pass, get through finals, and then really allow yourself the time to process before making any sort of decision.

[C]

Wait, did he get her pregnant or the girl he cheated with?

[B]

The girl he cheated with.

[C]

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I just. I feel like the way she worded it, I don't think she will ever see him the same. Like, feeling gross by him touching her. As someone who did take back. Someone who cheated on me. It was awful. Like, I became a crazy person. I never got over it, and then we broke up. Yeah, but, I mean, it can go different for different people.

[B]

I can, but it doesn't have to.

[C]

Like, there are so many people out there. What he provides can be replicated, and.

[A]

You can find someone better that you really can.

[B]

I think so. I think so. I mean, I have a problem with the fact that he cheated four months ago, and the only reason he's telling her now is because that other girl is pregnant.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not like he's coming clean just to be like, oh, fuck, I cheated last night. And, like, we've been together six years. Like, what was I thinking? Like, it's not like that. It's like, you're coming clean because you have to come clean, otherwise you never would have. Which also makes me think it's probably not the first time.

[C]

Yeah, that's so. That's a huge part of it. Like, if you can't trust that person again. And then you're always second guessing things. You're always trying to find the truth, trying to see if. If there's actually something else behind what they're saying to you. It's just so hard to come back from that long.

[A]

Like you're thinking about it that whole time every single day. I mean, rather, every single minute is a chance to come clean.

[C]

But yeah, why do it on finals week?

[B]

That it's like, did you want to sabotage her even more? Yeah, like, let me get through this week. Selfish.

[A]

It's because he, I don't know, probably is just at a point where it's like, I can't. He's freaking out about his own sake and his own life. And so now it's like, I have to release this for my own sake. I mean, that's what's really feels like.

[B]

And I think a lot of people do do that. Like, a lot of people come clean for their own conscience rather than like the benefit of the other person. And that's like one thing. I used to have a saying for it in my head and it's like it's fallen out. But it's like, why are you coming clean for your. Your own selfish reasons. It's like, just keep it to yourself. Like, unless the other person. Some case by case basis. Right. There's a lot of nuance there. But I'm like, sometimes it's just like you up. You don't need to bring that other person down. Just keep it to yourself. You made that choice. You live with it. Yeah.

[C]

Similar with like conversations with someone that you've broken up with and they treated you badly and now they want to get it off their conscience and apologize about it when you're okay. Now it's like, this isn't for me. This is to make you feel like a better person. Like, you're apologizing, but it's to take the load off your. Your shoulders. I've been good. I got over it myself. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. The one other thing I was thinking with this one too. Obviously birth control methods can fail, but I always find it extra disrespectful. And like, the bar is really low. Right. But I'm like, if someone cheats and they don't use protection, I find that so disrespectful because not only were you violating the. The boundaries of your relationship and your love for that person, your truth, whatever, like you were so disrespectful that you didn't even wrap it up to prevent the Spread of disease.

[C]

Yeah, like bodily harm.

[B]

That, that extra detail really pisses me off.

[A]

Well, it's unlikely that in between the cheating and the next time he was with her, he went and got tested and did everything. I mean it's.

[B]

It's been four months. Some stuff like takes a bit to bake.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, it's unlikely that you only cheated one time and happened to get someone pregnant that one time that you cheated.

[B]

The chances are low. Yeah, like low. I'm so annoyed. We do have quite a few comments from op. One is. Yeah, I'm coming to terms that this is probably the end of the relationship, especially if she keeps it. I never want children. Even as a stepmom.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

So it's like that's an extra nail in the coffin there. I just scheduled an appointment to see my doctor. I have awful contamination OCD too. So this whole situation makes my skin crawl. 0 out of 10. And there is like I looked at Opie's account. There is a post history talking about like emetophobia.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

Oh, wow. Yeah.

[B]

So like, yeah, it's time, time to.

[A]

Look forward, put the blinders on.

[C]

Passes in the past 2025 is going to be amazing.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

2025. Leaving this dude behind. It's going to be your year, baby.

[C]

But I understand like the difficulty in immediately separating from that person. I think it sounds a lot easier in theory to be like, oh yeah, someone. She don't even got someone else pregnant. Obviously I'm immediately leaving. I have more self respect than that. And like. Yeah, in the ideal world, when you're a little bit separated from the sit and you'll feel better later on that you did that. But when you're in the moment and that's your best friend, like that is so hard to emotionally detach. All of those crossing six years, it's the worst.

[A]

Yeah, it's like the worst feeling.

[B]

No, I. I imagine like because we're. Our six year anniversary is December 27th.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

Yeah. So it's like that would be like if I found that out, I would, I'd go nuclear. But I know I would have a really hard time moving forward because it's like we have this life, we have this future. Like unwinding all of that in my head. Justin's my left hand. Like I'm just like, we're just. He's my person. So I'm just like, I would. Dude, I'd be catatonic.

[A]

It. I mean, yeah, you. When you have the right Partner, you build your lives around each other. Like you. You start to fit like a glove. Not that you're completely dependent on each other, but just. That's how life works. And then, you know, we always say a lot that the past is no reason to stay with someone in a bad situation. But yes, you have to consider and realize that it's going to be extremely difficult to move forward, but there are much better things ahead.

[B]

I agree. Top comment on this post. Hold your finals, hold your tears, but do not hold on to this man. He didn't just cheat. He created a whole new life while playing house with you. And he waited four months to tell you, only coming clean because pregnancy made it impossible to hide. That's not a confession. That's damage control. That was my thought exactly. I know you're numb right now. Six years of forever plans just got nuked by one night of selfishness. But don't you dare feel gross about yourself. The only person who should feel disgusted is the one who betrayed six years of trust faster than you can say positive pregnancy test. We never really fought. It doesn't mean shit when he's out here fighting for the gold medal in relationship destruction. Your best friend spent four months looking you in the face, planning a future while knowing he might have a baby on the way with someone else. That's not friendship. That's fraud with a side of gaslighting. Focus on your finals right now because your education is the only thing that won't betray you. But after that, time to face reality. Whatever future you planned with him just got rewritten into someone else's story. He's about to be someone's father. Maybe that's not something you can sweep under the rug of forgiveness. Don't let six years of history trap you in a lifetime of hurt. Sometimes the hardest part isn't losing someone you love. It's realizing they weren't who you thought they were in the first place. Let him deal with his baby mama drama. You've got a whole life to rebuild without his chaos in it.

[A]

Was this written by a poet?

[C]

I know they read it.

[A]

That was incredible.

[B]

I'm, like, overwhelmed by that.

[A]

That was, like, checked over five times. That was insane.

[B]

That was beautiful. Concise red to filth. Just.

[A]

Oh, my God. I'm ready to tag them in. I'll go sit over there.

[C]

Yeah. Now he's got some bills to pay. Like, yeah, you go off and do your thing.

[B]

Yeah. And in the prime of life. 24.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Let's go.

[C]

Yeah, let's get crazy. Let's get wild.

[A]

That's when you find your real person.

[C]

Oh, guys, isn't this nice?

[A]

Well, we met at 24.

[C]

That's what I. Yeah.

[B]

So cute. How old am I? I think I was 25. I don't know. Anyways, but the last episode we had, you were like, maybe I do want love.

[C]

I'm like, did I say that?

[B]

Yeah, you did.

[C]

That's so crazy.

[B]

It's out there for you.

[A]

Or no. Love. Yeah, choose love.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe 2025.

[C]

2025? Yeah.

[B]

You never know.

[C]

Maybe I'll leave my chastity in 2024. Maybe that's what I'm leaving in 2024.

[B]

I love that for you.

[C]

Could be.

[B]

I love that. That's a great plan. Go, Mikayla. Okay, moving on to the next one, one of this week's partners is zocdoc. As you all know, adulting is hard. Sometimes we just want one thing taken off our plate and for me, that is scheduling doctor's appointments. I miss the days my mom would call my dentist or my doctor and just deal with everything. And fortunately, Zocdoc makes it a lot easier handling it on my own. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and choose the right one for your needs and click instantly to book an appointment. We're talking about in network appointments with more than a hundred thousand healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, and so much more. I've been using ZocDoc myself since 2015, long before the podcast. And ZocDoc has gotten me out of emergencies. Next day appointment with my gynecologist booked on the app. Didn't even have to make an awkward phone call. Done. This is where it's easy to find good doctors and it's because of the real reviews from patients just like us. So you know exactly what you're getting before you even walk in the door. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.comtht to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.comthD Zocdoc.comthD trigger warning on this next one, friends. It does contain talks of abuse. Um, it gets a little heavy, so please skip ahead if you feel you can't handle that today. This one I have read, it has since come out with an update. I have no idea what it says though, but the original post had me furious. So Again, I'm sorry if this doesn't fit the episode theme once we read the update, but we'll see what you guys think. So this is coming from R Relationship Advice titled last weekend I, 36 female, drunkenly flashed my husband's 31 male friends and he still can't let it go. I've apologized and promised not to drink again. What more can I do? It's nearly 6am here and he has yet again woken me up at 2am to tell me how much he hates me and how disappointed he is in me. Last Saturday I went out to lunch with friends. I've probably only ever been drunk 10 times in my whole life and this is one of them. I wasn't terribly drunk, but I was definitely tipsy. It was about 4pm When I got home and my husband had two friends around watching football with him. My phone was dying so I went to get the charger which was plugged in near the TV and I was blocking it. As I struggled to reach for the charger, they were playfully telling me to get out of the way and booing me when one of them said move your arse, we're trying to watch the match and I genuinely don't know what came over me as I've never done anything like this before, but I turned around and pulled my top and bra down and said watch these instead.

[C]

The Steve Off.

[B]

I feel so embarrassed just writing that. They all sat there in shock and there was an awkward couple of seconds of silence and then I just left the room as quickly as I could without my charger. After they left, my husband came upstairs and was screaming and shouting at me that I embarrassed him, cheated on him. He hates me. He insulted my looks and age a few times, which I won't repeat here. I just kept apologizing and said I'd make it up to him. The next day I again said sorry and I would leave if that's what he wanted or I'd do anything to make it up to him. He ended up writing me a list of things I had to do to make it up to him. The list was 1. Don't drink. I can handle that. As I said, I don't drink anyways. 2. Delete his two friends who were over off social media. I did that. 3. Do all the cooking and cleaning for a month. Okay 4. Message the girlfriends of the friends telling them what I did and apologize. I did that. Neither really cared. 5. Sleep in the spare room until he wants me back in bed with him. I've done the Things he asked. But every night he's woken me up shouting at me and name calling me. This morning I told him enough is enough and to either let me sleep and start to move past it or I'll go live with my mum until he decides whether he wants me or not. I know it's only been a week and it's my fault, but I don't know how much more I can take. Was I harsh to say I'd leave? And can I do more to make him feel better?

[C]

I'm so curious about your take first.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Your face just now was horrified, though.

[A]

Well, I like to, you know, let people go first.

[B]

Take it away.

[C]

Appreciate, Appreciate.

[A]

Okay. So I think you did yourself the biggest favor you've ever done yourself in this relationship because you're exposing who your partner really is and whatever with this action. Whether it's right or wrong or whether you regret it. Who cares? Because it just saved you so much time. And, you know, all of this, all of his actions, I feel like would have come out at some point. He is very immature. He's very controlling, somewhat bordering. You know, what could lead to abuse.

[B]

I would peg him as an abuser right now. This is abusive.

[A]

Well, this is. Yes. And I'm saying it can get worse and worse. I think this exposed something and it is time to leave and leave all of this behind because this isn't a reaction from someone I would want as a partner in the long run. You didn't go out and cheat. That's ridiculous. This is not cheating.

[B]

Yeah. To say you cheated on me, this.

[A]

Is like a mistake. Yeah. It's probably not the right time or place or whatever for that.

[B]

It's just boobs.

[A]

Yeah, it is. But it's just like.

[B]

No, I know.

[A]

You know, I bet there's a little bit of regret. But regardless, it's not that big of a deal. And it just kept getting worse. Like doing dishes and cleaning and go sleep in the spare room until a mature person who actually loves you and is your partner would have not yelled and screamed. That was the first point. I knew we were going downhill. If it were me and I was upset by it. Right. Let's just say I would come upstairs and I'd say, hey, that was a little interesting. Like, why did you do that? Made me very uncomfortable. It made them uncomfortable. And now it's just kind of an awkward thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I would never in my life yell and scream and put all these provisions over this. It's ridiculous.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And she already feels embarrassed about it. She already was like, I don't know why I did that. I understand that. Bothering someone and then being upset about it. So I was like, oh, yeah, I would probably be upset about that too. And then I was like, wait. But, like, not. Not like that. And also the way that he was yelling at her, like, things about her age and. And stuff like that. Saying things that she wouldn't repeat. And then. Yeah, like the ways that he told her to make it up to him. A lot of those didn't have anything to do with actually healing the problem.

[B]

No.

[C]

Like, they weren't things that would repair trust or, like, repair. It's just like, completely do these servant things for me. And also never drink again and never like that. I don't.

[A]

It felt like he was waiting for a moment to anything for her to misstep, for him to just unleash all this. It feels like he's been stacking all this up in his head.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's a great point too. Like, he's definitely using this to his advantage. And then, like, to your point, Michaela, like, the servant thing, it's like, do all the cooking and cleaning for a month. What does that have to do with us in our relationship and me, you know, flashing someone and making a mistake.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Like, what? You're punishing me? Like, yeah, you're going above and beyond punishing me. You're punishing me by making me do a bunch of labor. You're trying to embarrass me. You want me to be embarrassed further.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is why you're making me message these people. You're yelling at me. You're talking terribly to me. You're waking me up in the middle of the night, screaming at me. Which Interrupting someone's sleep again and again. That's. That is a warfare tactic. Like, that is not. That's not okay.

[A]

Break someone down.

[C]

And to have that much rage every single night, like, not even just blowing up once.

[A]

It's not that huge. It's crazy. Like, sitting there, just.

[B]

Yeah. And by the sounds of it, this post is coming from. I think it's like a week later.

[C]

So it's like, oh, oh.

[B]

Like the original. Like, from when it happened. So it's like he's been doing this for a week. Like, yeah, oh, you're screaming at me every night at 2am for a week. I'm gonna hit you with a bat. Like, I. I hate being woken up. So it's like, there's no. There's no way around that. It's not like, hey, can we talk? Like, I'm trying to fall asleep and I can't sleep. It's, like, coming in screaming at her.

[C]

Like, yeah, this is.

[B]

This is. Honestly, this is scary. Yeah, this is not.

[C]

And it's like, if there's an issue in a relationship, for example, an issue of trust, then the ways to make it up to someone is to maybe go to therapy together or talk about, like, maybe what caused you to act that way or whatever. Like, if there's an issue in a relationship, there are ways to address it that actually fix that issue instead of just, like, bombarding someone and controlling them and, like, humiliating them and belittling them. Like, that doesn't fix whatever you're saying is the problem in your head.

[A]

This guy's a child.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Insane. Someone does point out the comment, like, point 3. Do all the cooking and cleaning for a month. One of these things is not like the other.

[C]

He's just like, sneak that in there.

[B]

All the others make sense, but this one. Sleep in the spare room until he wants me back in bed with him. This last one is not okay. It's like putting a dog in its crate. And you're not even supposed to put dogs in their crates as punishment. Crates should be a safe space. So it's like, get out of here. Go sleep in the spare room. It's like, until I want you. Like, this. This is a person, not a yo yo. Ugh. Insane.

[C]

People who actually get cheated on aren't even reacting this meanly.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I. I'm just. I'm blown away. Oh, I'm not seeing any comments from OP but someone does point out something interesting. Throughout all of this, OP Never mentioned that this kind of behavior was abnormal. For him, being upset and betrayed is one thing. Screaming at her every night and taking advantage of her guilt is totally different. Sounds like he's lashing out, trying to punish her. They need therapy. Says the next comment. Next comment down, he's trying to figure out how to work it to his advantage. He can get out of cooking and cleaning forever. Well, you have to make it up to me. So for the rest of our lives, you have to do all the cooking and cleaning without complaint because you flashed my friends. That one threw me for a loop. Says the next comment. Yeah, it's just so weird.

[A]

Okay, the update better fit in the theme, I'll tell you right now.

[C]

Manifesting.

[B]

He apologized. He came back. We're. We're so happy. We're doing couples therapy now.

[A]

I'll leave.

[C]

Is that what it is?

[B]

Update. Which is coming. Fourteen days later, the night after I made this post, he yet again woke me up shouting and shining a torch in my face. So I'd had enough and I went to my mom's. Torches. I think British for flashlight.

[C]

That makes more sense.

[B]

You looked concerned. I was like, he brought a lantern, a flamethrower. While there, he was constantly texting me, abusing and calling me names. So I blocked him. And then he started sending things to my mom. I went back to the house to discuss things with him and see if he wants to work on things or end things. He opened the door and once I was in, he pushed me in the back to the floor, calling me a slag. As I tried to get back up, he kicked me back down and again called me a slag. Oh my God. I just like don't even want to go on. This is just so much worse than I thought.

[C]

No, but you were right that this was like a pre indicator of further abuse.

[B]

I got up and said, you're being fucking stupid. None of this is appropriate. For one second of a boob flash, he turned around and punched me in the mouth. There was nothing dramatic after that. I just turned around and walked back out. I've saved the pictures of my lip and the messages from him afterwards, calling me and saying it's the least I deserve. I'm at my mum's now and after the new year, I will ask him for a divorce and tell him that we either split fairly and quickly or I'll ring the police. Some of his friends also found my original post and have been messaging me, calling me names for airing his business in the public. Hello friends, if you read this. All this over one second of boobs. And for the people asking how I'd like it if he did it, he's always topless. And for those comparing my boobs to genitals, I'd laugh if he willycoptered around the room because it's quite big, so would look funny. Lol. Ew.

[A]

You don't need none of that going on.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

I'm just. She should chop it off, hit it with a hammer.

[C]

On the bright side, she is leaving him in 2024.

[B]

What a badass. Yeah, absolutely. Like needed to be left in 2024.

[C]

It's difficult to do so props to her.

[B]

A lot of people are saying, like, go to the police now. Go to the police immediately and don't ask him for a div. Force the divorce through. He deserves all the consequences that are coming. Don't hold the police in reserve go straight to them, then divorce him. And that is like, a good point where it's like, he doesn't need protecting. He chose to become a violent abuser and hit you. If it does help your divorce move forward quicker, put it on record. Like, there's some states that, like, and I get this, this sounds like the UK given the context, but there's some states that, like, you have to wait and be separated for a year, and some places it's two years. Like, there's some states that have, like, really strict divorce rules. Like, yeah, we talked about this on a Patreon and someone commented on it and they were like, in this state, you have to wait, like, and be separated two years or something. I was like, oh, my God. What? That's. That's insane. That's like 1800amount of time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I'm like, if this helps you and it should be documented, this should go on his record. So the next person that gets into a relationship with him, there's a record, they know what they're dealing with. Because this is not okay, right?

[A]

Because it's not. That's. Not that. That's not on you necessarily to do, but that not only benefits your divorce proceedings, hopefully, but, yeah, then it can be out there and you can help future potential victims.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

I know.

[C]

I'm, like, shocked that it. Because that is often, I think, in a lot of these stories, our fear of where it'll end up, but we don't always get that update of it actually happening.

[A]

And I wonder if any of this was slipping through the cracks before this. I wonder if there was signs throughout. You know, it's hard to get the context in one Reddit post, but it just makes you wonder because there are very scary instances where all of a sudden, relationship, perfect, one thing happens, and it's just like.

[C]

Yeah. And also, like, I'm also someone who doesn't drink that often. And I've dated people who had controlling aspects of their personality that didn't come out until later because I wasn't doing any of the things that would have made them upset. And that kind of sounds like what happened here. Like, she doesn't drink that often. And the one time she did, he made a big problem about it. It's like, well, now you can never drink again. So it's like sometimes there are these dormant controlling traits that you just haven't triggered because maybe you just don't go out and you don't really do those types of things. You don't even realize that they would cause such a fuss about it if you did well.

[A]

And just. You should. I don't think you should ever have that power over someone. You should never tell someone, you can never do this again. If you're a supportive person, you'd say, might be smart to have one or two and then be good, you know, and just see how that goes. But never. You should never drink again. You should never do this again. That's not supportive. That's not a teammate.

[B]

Well, it should also be like, you know, I didn't appreciate what happened. Like, it really. I felt really disrespected. You know, maybe you should just evaluate your alcohol intake. Like, it should always, like, be their choice versus, like, you know, your. Your ultimatums are more so about you and your boundaries versus controlling the other person.

[C]

Right. And I would feel that way, too. But if I came to my partner and they were already like, I'm embarrassed that I did that, I'd be like, oh, then we don't even need to talk about this. Like, you feel weird about it. I feel weird about it. That was just, like, a silly blip that happened. Like, I mean, everyone has different comfort levels with that type of thing. And obviously, you hope to be with a partner that has a similar comfort level to you as those things. But. But, yeah, if someone's like, wow, I can't believe I did that. The moment I did, I was so embarrassed to be like, well, then I don't even need to tell you, and, like, that I'm uncomfortable with it if you already are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He was waiting.

[B]

He was. He was. And it's like, the moment she stepped out of line and out of his control, he went crazy. And I will say, too, like, if you've ever blacked out or drinking too much and done something stupid.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you wake up the next day and have to hear what you did, like, that is punishment enough. Like, you are just sick over it. And so it's like, she's clearly punishing herself. There doesn't need to be this added layer of, like, torture. And I don't know. And maybe. Maybe this is just me. Maybe we need some comments, but I don't think flashing your boobs is, like, the biggest deal. But I will say I'm, like, very desensitized to it because I have multiple friends that, like. Like their boob flashers. Like, that's their prerogative. After, like, too many drinks or a couple drinks even, like, they. They're just flashers. Like, ever since college, I've always had friends that flash. I don't know.

[C]

I don't think it's a big deal, but I understand that there are people out there who would be like, that's a boundary. Hey, why'd you do that? The other thing, the other rule of his that was crazy to me in regards to that is to unfollow his friends on social media after that experience. Like, that also feels like an indicator of crazy control. Because like. Like, what are you implying by that? Like, what are you saying that she was trying to do? Are you really. Like, you don't even want her to know your friends anymore because of this instance? Like, that. That one was also kind of crazy.

[A]

You don't trust your friends.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You. Yeah, Sorry.

[B]

No, I was just gonna say it almost felt like a dog pissing on a light pole, like, marking his territory. Like. Like they saw her and they will never see her again. Like, you can't be trusted. You're not going to be around my friend. Like, it felt very territorial in a weird way.

[A]

Anyways, on to better things.

[B]

Moving along and people moving along.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

One of this week's partners is Hinge. Did you know Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted? And I'll tell you right now, I met Justin on Hinge, and here we are six years later. But I know not everyone has that story. And if you take a moment to pause and reflect on your dating journey over the past year, what do you see? Is it as crazy as some of the stories we read today? Or have you really had a good time connecting with people and enjoying your journey to finding your person? And regardless, what do you want in the new year? So right now is as good as any time to update and refresh your Hinge profile to better represent who you are, who you've grown into this past year, and who you're looking for. So update your photos, answer prompts that mean the most to you. That's one thing I loved when I saw Justin's profile is his prompts were funny. I connected with them. But we're leaving a lot of bad things in 24 and embracing a lot of good things in 2025. And one of those should be love and dating and finding your person, which could be on Hinge. Mine was. So refresh your Hinge profile early or download Hinge today and set your 2025 dating intentions now. Thanks, Hinge. Do we want to lighten it up or save the lighter for the end?

[C]

Maybe lighten it up now.

[B]

Mikael's like, please give me a reprieve.

[C]

Either is fine. Actually, I'm fine either.

[A]

No, but that depends. Like, do we lighten up now and then? It just goes really downhill for the forever.

[C]

How downhill does it go? Yeah, because I'm. I can stay in the mud if we need.

[B]

Okay, I won't go as hard. We'll. I'll give you a slight reprieve, but we'll still save. Still save the good one for the end. Okay, so this is coming from Am I the Would IBTA Public. It is titled Am I the for telling my Son to Stop Treating His Fiance like a child. My son, 26, male, recently got engaged to his fiance, 23, female, and my husband and I flew to where they live for an engagement celebration that his fiance's parents were hosting. We were there for a week and stayed at my son's apartment in his guest room throughout the week. I noticed that he practically babies his fiance and treats her like a child. He brushes her hair every night, which is simply excessive to me. One night I got up late at night and went to grab something from the kitchen and I knocked on their bedroom door to ask and when I went in, she was sitting on his lap and eating ice cream while they were watching a movie. On our last night there, my son was cooking dinner for everyone and his fiance just sat on the countertop chatting with him the entire time. It comes off as something you would expect a father slash young daughter relationship to look like. Before we left, I spoke to my son about this and I told him to stop babying his fiance and he didn't respond and changed the topic of conversation. And he has been distant since then and I don't know what I should do. Am I the asshole?

[C]

Am I crazy? Because wait, those didn't sound like that much of like she was sitting on his lap. That sounds like a normal relationship thing. And sitting on the counter talking to him all night. Why is that babying? Am I crazy?

[B]

I'm like, this is love. This. This is love.

[C]

Am I wrong?

[B]

I think her husband just hates her.

[A]

Well, you know, what's the, where's this coming from? Like, what's the point? Why is this bothering you?

[C]

She didn't really give a good example of the babying. I was like kind of ready to be on her side. And then I was like, wait, what.

[A]

Was the spoon feeding the meal the.

[B]

Whole time she was cutting up his steak for him and feeding him and rubbed his back to burp him after.

[C]

That kind of just sounds like sweet.

[B]

I Would actually like to be burped like a baby.

[A]

I just. I don't get it. I'm confused.

[B]

This is just giving, like, not great mom son dynamics. I think there's a little bit of, like, a lack of boundaries here. I mean, that to me, was kind of a given with the one night I got up late to grab a snack. I knocked on their bedroom door to ask, and I went in. Yeah, you went into their bedroom late at night. She was sitting on his lap and eating ice cream while they were watching a movie.

[C]

Yeah, like, that example doesn't sound like anything. Also, they're newly engaged. Like, what?

[B]

They're celebrating their love. Like, that sounds just like engagement, bliss. Happy. Like a couple winding down after a day eating ice cream.

[A]

Like, would you rather them be, like, five feet apart in bed, a respectable.

[C]

Distance away from the same.

[A]

Watching the movie like this?

[B]

Apparently. Do you want your son's fiance to hate him? Like, what? What?

[C]

I don't know. And then the other example was she was, like, sitting on the counter talking to him.

[A]

That's the most normal.

[B]

That's what. That's like an engaged partner. Like, you're cooking. I'm sure if he needed help, she would pop off the counter and grab the milk. Like. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, at least she's not just in her room on her phone. Like, she's engaging with him still. She's. She's. She might not be cooking, but she's present.

[C]

Right. And I feel like if she had any better examples of this, she would have given them.

[A]

Oh, for sure.

[C]

So that's why I just don't think this is an issue.

[B]

This is weird. This is weird. 2024. What's getting left behind is butting into people's relationships and being weird with your sons.

[C]

Yeah, that's what. And I was like, it's either gonna go one of two ways. Either, yes, they're being really obnoxious, or this is one of those. Those mothers of sons who unfortunately just don't like to see their son with a girl in that way. And they get, like, weird about it.

[B]

Yeah, no, you've brushed my hair. I literally said adjusting the other day. I was like, I would love to teach you how to use that Revlon blow dry brush because my arms get a little tired sometimes.

[C]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

You're up there.

[A]

Like, I gotta work up to that, though. That's.

[B]

We'll start small. We'll let you do one layer. Well, the bottom layer is easy.

[A]

Yeah, no, we'll get back to the the regular brush first.

[B]

Yeah. And then you know how to braid, though. He's been practicing braiding by braiding the horses. So, you know, he's. He's getting. He's getting there. He's ready to be a girl.

[A]

Dad, I'm being trained.

[B]

Yeah. Top comment on this one. You're the. I expected a description of him treating her like a baby, not basic romantic gestures.

[C]

Thank God I'm not crazy.

[B]

I thought it was crazy. If you continue your behavior, expect even less contact with your son. And can we just. There's one line here I do want to point out, too. It comes off as something you would expect a father, young daughter relationship to look like.

[C]

I don't think so. I don't think. I don't think so.

[B]

I mean, the brushing the hair, but.

[C]

Like, this, like, sitting on the lap and I mean, I guess, like, yeah, if they're really young, but like.

[B]

And that was. I. I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking that one. But I didn't really. No.

[C]

It's just not where my head would go.

[A]

No. And the statement means nothing. It's like, that's what you'd expect living, breathing humans to do. Well, like, I. It's just weird.

[B]

I know. Next comment down. I thought maybe he was talking down to her or ordering her around, not just being in love. Next comment. The absolute horror of sitting in your fiance's lap in your own bed while spending time in your own bedroom.

[C]

I'm just like, what went through her mind when she went into their bedroom and, like, saw her sitting on his lap? That she thought that that was a gross, like, incestuous moment. I don't understand.

[A]

Also, who does that?

[C]

Like, just walks in.

[A]

I mean, who we are late at night. We know those people, though. Knock, knock. Door opens.

[B]

It's like a second.

[A]

Hey.

[C]

But could have been way worse.

[B]

My dad. So. My dad did once. Oh, yeah. He has since learned do not enter. He'll knock. Let him. Let me know he's out there. But the other day, we also had to tell him to, like, not use our bathroom and, like, use the bathroom in the. That's meant for guests. And he's like, why? What am I gonna see in there? And I'm like, you never know. You never know.

[C]

It's our bathroom. And we just sometimes have stuff.

[B]

There was stuff in there, too. There was stuff in there. And I'm just like. So people do start getting a little interesting with their comments. Okay, I'm gonna see what you guys think on this. Someone goes, if you're jealous, just say that. And it's gross that you even think you have a say in the romantic life. You're the asshole. Sounds like mommy is jealous that her widow boy has a girlfriend. Next comment. 1. Which op responds to info. Are you jealous? Why were you knocking on their bedroom door late at night and surprised to see intimacy? How is your relationship with your husband? OP Responds, jealous of her. From what I see, she doesn't bring much to the table and is leeching off my son financially and otherwise. There's nothing to be jealous of.

[C]

Okay, well, of course you'd say that.

[A]

Well, and provide an example, please.

[C]

Yeah, provide your incredible examples. She's gonna be like, he makes more money than her, so, ha. Okay.

[B]

My son. Well, you. You kind of caught it a little bit in the post. My son's apartment. Okay, but sounds like she lives there.

[C]

Right?

[B]

And they're getting married, so it's their home. Someone responds to OP There it is. That jealousy. Next comment. And yet you provide no examples of her leeching off him financially. Seems like jealousy to me. We have a couple more comments from OP the least she could do is actually help him rather than just sitting there and watching. In regards to the cooking, so what?

[A]

There's so much you don't see.

[C]

Yeah, there's.

[A]

Are you there every day? And maybe he just loves to cook and he wants to do that. Is that forbidden for a man to do?

[C]

If he's happy and he's doing what he wants to be doing, like, he's fine, he's okay. I'm sure she does stuff. I'm sure whatever they've worked out is working for them. They clearly are happy with each other.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's an adult.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Making his own choices.

[B]

There it is. Yep.

[A]

Let your. Let him fly out of the nest. Not this helicopter buzzing around all the time.

[B]

No. It's quite strange. So OP does respond to that comment, and yet you provide no examples of her leeching off of him financially. Seems like jealousy to me. And OP goes, he makes over 200k a year and is also studying at a top 10 business school in the country. She doesn't come close to that objectively. She's living in his apartment and he's covering all of their expenses. That is leeching. Next thing you know, she's pregnant and he's tied to her for 18 years.

[C]

He's marrying her.

[A]

So this runs deeper.

[C]

This is.

[A]

She just doesn't like her.

[B]

No one's gonna be good enough for her baby boy, though.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, by the sounds of this, no one. Like, this is toxic. Boy, mom to a T. And there's so much of this energy out there, it's insane. Insanity to me. I just saw a video of some mom who already had a daughter. Her daughter was her firstborn, and then she had a little boy after. And she made this whole, like, long video being, like, I didn't know love until I had my little boy. And, like, I loved my daughter, but, like, having a son is so different and so big.

[A]

God damn.

[C]

Well, they think they're like, I raised him to be so great and so wonderful and so successful, and now you get to reap the benefits of that.

[B]

Is that what it is? Like, yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Like, what should you be reaping the benefits of that?

[B]

That it's all like, I feel like for this story especially, that's what it is. She's raised this successful man, and yet she gets nothing from it. All this other girl does. Gross.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, why can't the happiness of him being successful.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Having a happy relationship, living his life be enough?

[C]

Yeah. Like, job well done.

[A]

You know, Like, a lot of people are just getting your kids to the age of 18 and not having them, you know, whatever. Like, having them get there successfully, that's a feat in itself.

[B]

I know.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

That's scary. And I think, like, too, not everything is, like, not every relationship has to be 50, 50. A financial split. Like, she could provide so much emotional support and emotional labor and lighten his load in so many other ways. And you also just saw a blip of their life. And maybe he wanted to cook dinner because you guys were in town and he wanted to make that special meal for his parents. But, you know, 99% of the time, she's the one cooking. Like, you saw a blip, and based on you and your attitude, I doubt you're that close with your son. And you. He shares the intimate details of his life. He probably doesn't want to because of how he'll be judged by you.

[C]

Yeah. Like, him going silent when she said that, that feels like a response to where he knows he just can't engage with her when she gets like this and she's done it before, it's easier.

[B]

To just move on.

[C]

And, yeah, I could absolutely see being like, oh, it's my parents coming into town. I'll handle dinner tonight. Like, it's my family. I'll make them. Yeah. Like, that's a normal. It's like, one dinner that she's mentioning. She's literally giving the Example of one dinner.

[A]

I mean, regardless, even if we could prove right now that she never cooks and doesn't help, it's still his choice.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's making this choice to be with this person to the point where he's proposed. Let them live.

[C]

Yeah. If he were writing in and saying, hey, I'm doing all the. The cooking and I'm making all the money and she doesn't do anything, I'm very dissatisfied. We'd be like, okay, set some boundaries. That's not what happens. That's not what's happening here.

[B]

Ah, no. That's far from what's happening here. No. Leave this toxic boy mom energy in 2024. Let your kids be happy and love who they want to love.

[C]

Yeah. Love is love.

[B]

I think this is the time in the show where we have you do the silly song. A coin flip.

[C]

Ooh.

[B]

We're gonna. We're gonna take the pressure off the people. I think I've made it unfair on a lot of you.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Where I have had. I've put you in precarious positions making very tough choices, specifically me.

[C]

And then the people get mad at the one that you picked.

[B]

So our new segment here is Leave it to the Coin. I give the coin two choices, and we take it from there.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

However. However. Especially if there's two guests on the sofa, you can put your. Your opinions together, and if you agree to veto the coin, go against the coin executive power. You can. So you do have veto power.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

We'd have to feel very strongly, I'd imagine.

[B]

And you both. It has to be. What's that big word? Unanimous.

[A]

I've lost all my confidence after the last episode.

[B]

The coin flip did save Justin on the last one.

[A]

That's why I pulled it out.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's the reason it exists.

[B]

Get the coin ready. Oh, you tossed your phone behind the couch.

[C]

It's time for Silly Songs with Larry.

[B]

Is that a veggietales thing?

[C]

You are my cheeseburger. My tasty cheeseburger. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you.

[B]

You don't know.

[C]

That's fine.

[B]

You're gonna get us a copyrigh. So good.

[C]

Thank you so much. Wow, that's really nice.

[A]

Tap to flip.

[B]

Okay. The swill beheads. Am I the asshole for not having dinner ready when my fiance gets home from work? Or tails, am I the asshole for yelling at my fiance to stop talking so much? Give it to the coin.

[A]

Okay, which would you have picked?

[C]

The second one. Let's see.

[B]

What?

[C]

The coin.

[A]

This is why I love the coin. We're not coming to a decision. I'll tell you.

[B]

Right. Oh, wow.

[C]

You like the first one?

[B]

You would have picked the first one. I have dinner ready.

[A]

I'm just too scared to pick now.

[B]

So you guys don't give Justin some. He picks good most of the time.

[C]

I've gotten yield at 2, so maybe not the coin.

[B]

Give it to the coin. That's what it's here for, the coin.

[A]

Hey, the best part is when you do this on stage.

[B]

I do. Because you get the crowd's reaction and they pick so well.

[C]

That happened at the LA show. I picked the wrong one and then.

[B]

I was like, oh, then the other one.

[A]

Never mind, I'll just leave.

[B]

I know, it's so good. Okay, we ready? The coin is flipping.

[C]

Oh wow. I love that you're showing it so we can't be accused of cheating.

[B]

It is tails, option number two. Hell yeah.

[A]

Can't be mad at us.

[B]

Can't be mad. The other one will be going to Patreon though. Don't worry. So again, titled. Am I the asshole for yelling at my fiance to stop talking so much? I'm male, 24 and my fiance is female, 25. We've been together since we were 16 and 17 and everything was perfect. Recently, however, she's taken the habit of literally non stop talking 24 7. Just talking and talking and talking. And I never said anything in the beginning. At first I used to actually listen and talk about whatever she was talking about with her. But after a few months I just started ignoring her. But she never took the hint. I'm an introvert and sometimes I just want to sit in silence and peace and not have to listen to a literal radio every single hour I'm with her. So today I snapped. I didn't even realize what I had done until it was already done. I yelled at her to please stop talking so much and close her mouth for just a minute so I can have some peace. She looked shocked and just stared back at me and called me a jerk and a terrible person. She made me leave the house and won't answer any of my calls or texts. I know I was a bit harsh, but I think she overreacted. She must have known on some level she was being super annoying. Am I the asshole?

[C]

Folks? It's a tough day for yappers.

[A]

100%, you're the asshole. Are you kidding me? Did you ever make an attempt to say, hey, can I'm working on this or I'm Doing this can, right? Like, there's got to be a way to approach it that's not. Hey, shut your mouth just for one second so I can have a. A break. I mean, did it not occur to you that that would make you an asshole?

[C]

I'm wondering if she like, recently got on ADHD medication or something.

[B]

This happened to me. You would yap 24 7. Yeah.

[C]

When I was like taking Vyvanse, I was yapping.

[A]

Just random things too.

[C]

Yeah. But then I would like, I would delegate. I would find different friends to too, at different intervals of the day.

[B]

At least you're okay. You were a little self aware.

[C]

I was respectful. Yeah. And as well as strategic, which you sometimes have to be. But.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, like you're saying, I mean, this is poor communication. If it has to get to a point where you're exploding on someone instead of, you know, having a moment of first. Like, hey, you. You've been a little more chatty lately. Is what's going on? Is there something going on? Or like, hey, I like, like, I'm working right now.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

We can talk about this later, my beloved. Let's chat later.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Xx.

[B]

I mean, you can say chat later. Or like, I. I guess like, I'm just kind of confused how they've gotten this far. Like, she loves to yap. So much so that he describes her as a 247 talk radio. It is funny, like the way he described her. I'm like, do you even like your fiance?

[C]

Yeah, but they've known each other since they were 17 and 16. And now all of a sudden she's yapping too much.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that's eight years to say. I used to actually listen and talk about whatever she was talking about, but after a few months. How many years have you been tuning her out?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Do you even like her?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why are you getting engaged to someone you have so much disdain for?

[A]

Maybe because they've been together for so long.

[B]

Leave it in 2024.

[C]

The two methods he described are ignoring her not good. And blowing up at her not good. Surely there's another way. Like yapping with her. Maybe like yap to her about it. You have to hear about the problem.

[B]

Or just like, I mean, have you communicated? Hey, like, I would, you know, I want some quiet time. Like, Justin's very good when he needs like a little break. He'll be like, like, I would love to play some VR later. And it's like, yeah, yeah, you should go get in the game. Go. Like, all he had to do is like, babe, I love you, but I'm a little more introverted. I just need, you know, I need to recharge my social battery.

[C]

Right. I'm like that. I need, I need alone time real bad. I'm like a woo.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

The socialization has really taken its toll on me. I need some moments alone. But if I'm with friends on like a trip or dating someone or whatever, like, like they all know that about me. And if I go to my room for a couple hours, it's like, no one takes that personally. I. I talk to them about it. I'm like, not about you, not about anybody. I'm just gonna take some time.

[B]

I'm just chilling.

[C]

Scroll on my phone. I'll be back.

[B]

Yeah, I'm just.

[A]

And that's normal communication.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Even with someone you haven't been dating for a mystery amount of time?

[C]

Yeah, mystery amount of time.

[B]

I'm curious if there's any comments from op but first and foremost, the top comment. Top comment. You're the asshole. If something is bothering you, it's your responsibility to communicate that in a healthy manner to your partner. She isn't a mind reader and has no way of knowing what's bothering you if you don't say anything about it. Yelling as a first form of expressing discomfort is not the answer. And that's what I would like to know. Has there been conversations? And she continues to yap 24 7.

[A]

It didn't. It doesn't seem like it.

[B]

No.

[C]

And that would really hurt my feelings too, like to be told. And it would affect sort of the way I communicate with them in the future. I'd be like, oh, they don't like when I talk. Yeah, like, that sucks.

[A]

Am I talking too much? Yeah, like, am I crossing that line?

[C]

Or I don't know. Because I'll just find out when he blows up at me next time.

[A]

Right.

[B]

How weird. I really like this comment from someone. Exactly. My husband and I both get in chatterbox modes and if one or the other isn't feeling it, we just go, hey, I love you, I appreciate you, but can we have a little quiet time? We can talk about this later. And it's literally never been a problem. Just. Yep. Do you want quiet time alone or is it okay if we just veg on the couch together?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Someone replies, it really is that simple.

[A]

It is.

[C]

Or it could even be funny if you like. Baby, you've been telling you've been talking for quite some time now. Like, it's just like, not that.

[B]

Take a rest or Your vocal cords, you know, babe, take a rest.

[C]

Maybe they're gonna get nodes.

[B]

I'm worried about you, not the nodes. So someone goes, you're the asshole. Is this how you plan to treat her for the rest of your life? Call it off for her sake? Op responds, nah, I know what I did was wrong. I should have told her sooner without yelling or making her feel that way. I guess it's a good lesson for me to learn this early on.

[C]

Mysteriously early on.

[B]

I guess I know someone. Someone does go this early on. You've been together for like eight years. What the do you mean?

[C]

I mean, I will say it's not like he did the worst thing in the world. I think it's like, poor communication and rude. I think that, like, it's not they need to break up. I think they could probably get past.

[A]

It if it becomes a pattern. Yeah, then yes. I mean, if this were to happen again, then come on, grow up.

[B]

Well, I did misread, but they have been together since they were 16 or 17. So now my question is, how did you go eight years without saying something?

[C]

Nobody. Didn't he say that she never yapped the way she. She's only just recently become a yapper.

[B]

God. See, this is why you've almost read a hundred books this year.

[C]

Thank you so much.

[B]

Just, it's in there.

[C]

94 guys.

[B]

Recently, however, she's taken the habit of literally non stop talking recently. So then I would like, be like, what's changed?

[C]

Yeah, like recently, like the Adderall medication potentially. Or.

[B]

Or like, honestly, is this more about him? Like, is he just disengaged now? And then she feels the need to like, like compensate for it. I do remember, like, and this is maybe now like, because of the story in, like, hindsight. I remember, like, I had an ex in Canada and I would have to fly to like the nearest airport, which was like, like Edmonton or Calgary, depending on like flights and cost. And then he would pick me up and we'd have like a really long drive. Like, I'm just googling like the drive time. So it was. It's about like three hours. So every time, like, I would be in the car and like, we hadn't seen each other in person because we were doing long distance and I'd be in the car. And like, I remember thinking, is this, like, is this what the relationship is? Like, do people do. Is it normal to run out of things to talk about with your partner that you haven't even seen? And I felt like I was always the one like, engaging the conversation. Like, yeah, there was no conversation unless I was the one prompting or asking questions. And I remember in the car distinctly thinking that. And I'm like, is this normal? Are we. Is this like, comfortability in silence? Or do we just genuinely, like, not have anything to talk about?

[A]

Yeah, I think. Sorry. I think the fact that you were thinking that.

[B]

I know.

[A]

There's not the comfortability in silence.

[B]

I know, right.

[C]

Because otherwise you would know. It's like, oh, it's so nice that we can just be in silence right now.

[B]

I know. But I am a little bit of an overthinker, so. And like, being not as. Like I was, you know, 2021, 22. 2022, I think, at the oldest. So I'm like, I was in a different, you know, maturity and I was a lot more inexperienced. And so it was like, huh. And so maybe she's there. Maybe she feels this need to compensate and like, continuously engage him because he's not engaged, he's not participating like he was or, you know, like, what's changed?

[C]

I also feel like if you're chatting more, that usually means you're like, happier.

[B]

Or like, like it's kind of a.

[C]

N. It's nice that she's so chatty. It's nice that you've known her since she was 16 and she still has so much to say to you. Like, I don't like. I think those are nice. I understand getting annoyed by it, but I don't. I just feel like his reaction is so negative when, like, there are positives to this very.

[A]

One other thing is what if she's always been the same way and he's just tuning out and getting annoyed by anything.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's like nothing's changed, but you are just not interested in her anymore. Anymore.

[B]

I wonder if it's that or this hypothesis. The comment we read from OP is the only response we have, however, based on their ages. Male 24, female 25, and the word fiance. I wonder if this is a recent engagement and the thing that she is talking about 247 and trying to engage him about is wedding planning.

[C]

Your genius mind, Morgan.

[B]

I'm like, I'm wondering. He's like, well, no, because you brought. I didn't realize, like, this is a recent thing. I thought this was a whole eight year thing. And I'm a little, you know, don't yell at me. But I'm like, okay, recently, what's changed? Recently? Fiance. Is the engagement new?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No shit. She's gonna talk about an engagement she's excited. And there's a lot that goes into wedding planning. Like, is that what this is?

[C]

Yeah. And I wonder, like. Like, if she would say she's talking more. Like, that would be so interesting to hear what she thinks. Like, if she were to be like, no, actually, this is how I've always been. Or if she were to be like, yeah, we just, like, exciting things are coming up. I want to talk to him. Or I want to connect before this big moment. I don't know.

[B]

I wonder.

[A]

I always want the other person so bad.

[B]

I really want the other side on this one. I. I feel like there's a lot of context missing, but, like, don't. Don't get married to people you don't even like. Like, I wonder if it is a recent discovery. And I'm rewatching How I Met yout Mother right now. And the episode I just saw is one where they're pointing out each other's icks. And they don't describe them as icks, but, like, Lily is a really loud chewer. And Ted noticed, and then he broke that facade for Marshall. And so Marshall starts noticing and then Ted's is like. Ted is always like correcting people and pointing out facts about what they're saying. And, you know, there's all of these things that the glass shatters and they start realizing all of these icks about each other. And that could be something too, where he's just now realizing, damn, she talks a lot. Right? It's like, fuck.

[C]

I like your theory though, about it being about the wedding. Because he knows he would sound like an if he said, she's been talking so much about our wedding or like so much about. She's been trying to talk to me about wedding planning so much. Yeah, Like I could so feasibly see someone leave that part out for sure.

[A]

Because so many Reddit stories are written self serving. Yeah, they're obviously going to people asking if they're the are gonna try to portray themselves as not the.

[B]

They know what they're doing. They fully know.

[A]

Except some doubt. I don't think the mom knew. She had no clue.

[B]

What mom?

[A]

The mom with the girl sitting on the lap. Oh, and on the counter.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

She was just completely.

[B]

No. She called that girl a leaf.

[C]

She's just delusional.

[B]

She called her a leech. Oh, my God. This podcast is presented by Essie Nail Polish. It is crunch time. And as a procrastinator, I know what it's like to stress about last minute gifts, but no one is going to be disappointed Getting Essie Nail Polish in their stocking I remember my first time going to Target and picking out my first bottle and being amazed at how smooth it went on despite my shaky hand. And Essie is still holding up that great standard. If you're watching on YouTube you will see a video of me trying a few colors. My favorite turned out to be wicked the way that deep red shined in the light. But I also love how quick it dried as the queen of smudging nail polish. I didn't get it on anything. Essie nail polish is just a good staple nail polish and look at the colors and even if you don't want to gift Essie, get it for yourself. I don't know if there's anything better than practicing some good quality self care and painting your nails with some amazing polish. Could be just that for you after some crazy holidays. So if you're ready to try it for yourself, shop Essie Nail Polish for the holidays in store Target, Ulta, CVS and all of the stores you're already shopping at and online at your preferred Essie retailer. Thanks Essie Nail Polish okay, this next one. I am enraged over this one. Oh good, it is seven hours old. Coming from relationship advice titled this Weekend I, 29, female, got very drunk and told my boyfriend's 35 male friend's wife that he is cheating on her. I regret this a lot and I created a big mess for everyone involved and I'm looking for any advice on how to potentially try to salvage these relationships. Long title, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Our OP our writer is dating a guy who's 35 male. He has some friends friends cheating on his wife. OP told the wife, hey, your husband's cheating on you.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, and I would too. Sorry, let's get the context.

[B]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and he recently bought a ring but hasn't proposed. I think that might be now out of the window because this weekend I got very drunk and stupidly and carelessly and I cannot believe I did this. Said to the friend's wife that the friend isn't faithful to her. Ugh. This man does cheat on his wife constantly. As does his other friend who was there with us that night with his pregnant wife. I have a lot of issues surrounding all of this. I've talked to my boyfriend about how much it bothers me a ton and he has basically said that these are his long term friends and that their actions aren't his responsibility or his fault. I do really trust my boyfriend, and I love him so much. But I have serious trauma about married men being unfaithful because my boyfriend, prior to this, this was secretly married, and it really messed me up. I've projected that resentment and anxiety onto his friends, and I've felt it inside, but I've kept it in up until Saturday when I made the comment to his wife. While wasted, it caused a fight between them. My boyfriend and I went home, and I texted the wife the next day to apologize. And I also said that I was projecting things. When I told her about the cheating, my boyfriend asked me to cover it up, and I did because I wanted to try to somehow preserve the relationship between my boyfriend and I and not jeopardize the friend's marriage, even though it gutted me to do so on a lot of levels. I know my feelings of anger about the cheating friends are valid, but it absolutely wasn't my place to say anything. I'm looking into therapy to handle my anger on infidelity, and I'm considering seeking treatment for alcohol, too, because I think I've been using that to cope with the painful things I still have that are left over from my last relationship. But I'm freaking out because now I have created this giant mess both for my boyfriend, his friend, wife, and for the relationship between my boyfriend and I. I damaged his trust a ton, and I now look like a liar and manipulator. I am reeling and incredibly embarrassed and sad and really looking for any advice people might have about how I should approach things with my boyfriend. And if there's anything else that people could think I could try to do to make up for my mistake. Thank you in advance for any thoughts you might have. I'm really struggling and feel awful.

[C]

I'm sorry. What? Why? Why does she. She's internalized this as her problem so much when it's every other person's problem. What? Like, I can't believe I caused this. This. He caused it. All of them caused it also, what now? Like, his closest friends are gonna think you're an. Like, all the wives are gonna think you're an evil liar. And this is supposed to be your circle for the next how many. This is in no way her fault. And in fact, like, I understand feeling like it's not your place to tell someone that their husband is cheating on them. I understand feeling, like, bad about the way that it was said and, like, the fact that you're the one saying it, but, like, she deserves to know.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Again with this one. I will Say that I think you did yourself a favor.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Because as great as a relationship can be, the context of that relationship is very important. And a lot of that context is who someone surrounds themselves with and the environment that you guys are in. It's all, it's just as important as timing. And we always say relationships are timing, but in this sense, yeah, you're drunk, whatever. But I think you made the decision to do this because that's who you are. And you would not survive long term in this environment that surrounds your relationship. No, it's so unhealthy because it's already eating you alive. It hits close to home because it's hitting trauma that you've already been through. And so I think you made a great decision, drunk or not, to tell them and fix all this bullshit. Let these two women actually know what's happening in their lives so they can make a decision for themselves.

[B]

Pregnant wife.

[A]

And yeah, for these guys, you're the biggest enemy, whatever. Because you expose the secret. But you did technically what is just and what is right. And, and I think you moving on from this whole situation is going to be very freeing for you. So. Yeah, it's going to suck. Like we talked about earlier, moving on from something that you viewed as this is my forever, this is perfect. And I think the more you distance from it and the further you get away from it, you'll realize how imperfect it was. Because as great as this can be, if everything else around it is just a shit firestorm, it's not as great as it, as it. As it appears.

[B]

No. And I, I feel like even if your relationship was great, it's perfect. Your boyfriend still is friends with multiple people, besties that are cheaters. And he's okay covering up for them.

[C]

And getting you to cover up for.

[B]

Them and getting you to cover up for them to make you look like a liar, to make you look like a manipulator, he's okay with that. He's going to be okay with cheating. It's just a matter of time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This is a boys toxic little boys club that are covering up for each other. And he's probably got that same energy. That's why he's so comfortable. Just. Yeah, like how does she know about it? Because he told her. Because he's comfortable telling her. Because he doesn't see it as like this huge thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like what you are, who you're friends with to a certain degree. He's proving he's okay with this behavior and that making her text the wife to Cover it up? Hell no. Be a girl's girl. Was this the ideal setting to tell her? No. Probably not Being drunk and then, like, especially if she was, like, really drunk and the wife is sober to, like, hear that, it's like, okay. But they do need to know.

[C]

There's not really an ideal. There's not really an ideal setting.

[B]

No.

[C]

And she's been in something similar, so she's acting off of like. Like, I wanted to. I wish someone had told me in that situation that that was happening. And also, like, you're not gonna ever trust this guy going off on a guy's trip with his friends. Imagine sending this guy off to his bachelor party with these two fuck heads.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

No.

[A]

Right?

[C]

Absolutely not.

[B]

No. This is. He. I would bet so much that he's a cheater, too.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And if he's not, an excuse, like a bachelor trip or someone else's bachelor trip or. Yeah. I mean, the guys went to Cancun and, like, it's. It's when. And they do it.

[C]

And they're probably enablers. They're all enablers to each other. That is like, oh, that's such a fear. Dating someone whose friends are enablers of, like, poor behavior.

[B]

That's.

[C]

Yeah, that's because sometimes people already, like, have a weak will. It's like, all they need is a little bit of a push. And.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Then they're doing it.

[B]

Peer pressure gets the best of us. But this is not what that is. Like, this is like. Like, this is an orchestrated group of dudes who are just not good people.

[C]

Yeah. He's like, oh, babe.

[B]

I know.

[C]

They're awful. I hate that they're doing that. It's so bad. But, like, we should cover this up though, right?

[B]

That's. Yeah. And it's like, is your relationship even worth saving if this is the energy you get? Like, you said, like, it's just not.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, in. Regardless if he's actually cheated or not, you know, when he's with his friends, they're talking about it. Not. Not him cheating, but they're talking about their cheating girlfriend. Oh, this and that. You know, he's, like, playing the game with them.

[B]

Yeah. So me and my mistress, we're going to a hotel this weekend. I told the wife I got a work trip.

[C]

And he should be disgusted by that. He should lose respect for that.

[A]

Right. Right. So it gets to a place where think of, like, all of us. Think of your closest friends.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If someone did something like this, you know, it's not like if they cheat Once. And it's a big mistake. It's like, you're there for your friend. You don't condone it. You're not there being like, you were so great. You did everything perfectly. It's. No, it's like, you up, but I'll be here for you. We've been friends forever. It's the pattern, right? And it's the continued pattern of supporting this and hiding it. And then she's sitting there looking at these other women across the table, and they're probably smiling, having a great time, and excited about their lives. And she's like, dude, I've. I just went through this shit. So.

[B]

Especially that.

[A]

Yeah, it was a matter of time before you would have had to either just leave. Which I hope if you were going to just leave, you would have told them. Right? Because screw it. But it was a matter of time before this happened. So it's not like you made this big mistake. It was inevitable.

[B]

No. And I get these guys are probably, you know, more of the exception and not the rule. Not every guy group is doing this, but I think carrying, like, good energy forward and, like, being a girls girl, like, does it suck to get that message on Instagram, hey, girl. Yes. The pit that goes to your stomach, especially when it's some random person. Like. Like, I've gotten those. And just like. And it's crazy because it's like, he was out of my sight for an hour.

[C]

How did he see the time?

[B]

It's. It's just. It's nuts. But, like, people will go to lengths. And so I think going forward, like, never feel shame in, like, being a girl's girl or, you know, telling the truth. Like, I think there's something to be said about having good integrity.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And, like, carrying that forward. Like, if you become a liar, you already know how bad you look. Do you want to feel that way going forward? Do you want to have that on your conscience?

[C]

I just fear that they'll be able to lie their way out of it so easily now that they've already gotten her to, like, look crazy and. And be like, I made it up.

[A]

You just got to go.

[B]

Then you do. But I think you still. You tell them and you say, hey, this is what I know. These are the details I know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not lying to you. So, you know, are these guys now going to cover their tracks better? Yeah, unfortunately, yes. But facades slip and cracks will form and they will find out the truth eventually. Especially, God, the wife that's pregnant. What if she catches something and then like the baby. Like, you're. That's.

[C]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[A]

Well, something that shows you that your relationship is not perfect and great is the fact that you got pushed down into a corner so hard that you literally asked in this. How can I start making up making this up to him?

[B]

You have nothing to make up for.

[C]

The fact that she feels so crazy and that she's like, so in her head now. Clearly that is his ability at gaslighting her and making her feel insane. That this is, again, an indicator of things not being good moving forward. And yeah, you probably do feel a little bit more sensitive about this than other people, but. But you're not projecting onto these people in an unhealthy way. That's not fair to them. You're reacting how a person would and saying, hey, this isn't cool. This isn't a right way to treat people.

[B]

Yeah, no.

[C]

And it bothers me as. As a normal human being.

[B]

It needs to be. It needed to be said. I do not hold that against her at all. Top comment on this one. Your boyfriend has two close friends cheating on their wives and he actively helps them conceal infidelity. This is not the mark of a trustworthy person. Sure, he may not be lying to you right now about this, but you know, he is in principle okay with lying to you. The next comment down. Thank you. A man that was possibly going to propose, which leads to marriage, surrounding himself with unfaithful married men. That alone would scare me and make me rethink being with him. Who knows what their guys nights look like.

[C]

Exactly. Makes me like, gag thinking about the conversations they're having.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. Sad thing is, I think we all know what their guys nights are like. Gross. Next comment down. Yep. But let him tell it. He was the only one who behaved and was a good boy. Sure reminds me of a conversation I had with the girlfriend of someone I know. She said she didn't like her boyfriend's friends because they both cheated and had encouraged her boyfriend to cheat on her too. I don't know if he cheats to the extent the friends do, but I know he talks to his ex behind her back. Friends of a feather.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And that was like. I think that was one of the lamest excuses I got from an ex that cheated on me. Well, you know, all my friends were pressuring me and they didn't like that I had a girlfriend because you took time away from hanging out with them. And so they, you know, they really encouraged me to cheat.

[C]

It was Their fault. They made me do it. Okay.

[B]

Literally.

[C]

So you're weak as fuck.

[B]

You're weak. Literally willed, literally. And then embarrassing. This is probably the worst one. And I didn't say anything because they broke up shortly after. And she went on like she played D1 hockey and just like, she crushed it. Absolutely crushed it. But there was this one girl who. Her best friend had a thing for her boyfriend and ended up having a threesome with her best friend's boyfriend and another, like one of the guys.

[C]

She should go to jail. She should be arrested.

[B]

Like, that's your best friend?

[C]

Oh, my God. I can't imagine. But that's like a jealousy thing too. That's an insecurity jealousy thing. Like you. You clearly are jealous of your friends. That's why you're doing this.

[B]

It's just wild to me. Okay, let's see if there's any comments from OP Please still be there. Oh, we do have some comments. Okay. Okay. We have a lot of comments.

[C]

Oh, good. Did anyone get through to her?

[B]

I will post the link for you all to do a little creeping your. But let me see if we have any progress. So one of the first comments, that's the thing. He is friends with them, but not to the same level, I guess, as with the guys. I feel the same way about my friends. None of them would do this as far as I know. And it would be hard for me to continue to be friends with them. It gives me a ton of anxiety because I do believe birds of a feather and all that. But I love my boyfriend so much and truly don't believe he would do the same. It just makes me feel nauseous and literally sick when I'm around them because I know what they're doing. Sorry.

[C]

No one thinks their boyfriend would do the same. No one's like, I. I think that this guy that I'm starting to see is really a cheater. I don't like cheating, but he probably is. No one's thinking that. But yeah, if my friend did this one time like you said, I'd be like, oh, you fucked up. I feel bad. But if they were serially doing this, that's just not the kind of person I would be friends with.

[B]

With. No, but none of my.

[C]

None of my friends would do that, so. No, that's why I'm friends with them.

[B]

Exactly. They're good people. Good people. You surround yourself with good people as everyone should. Just a lot of comments here, like, trying to really rationalize this. I feel like my boyfriend is going to Side with them, to be honest, but I'm not sure. It's really painful. I'm scared of losing him, but maybe that is the right thing. The wives are really nice people and it is just so upsetting to me and clearly I can't handle it. It's been hard for me to not share, but I felt like it's not my place. But I don't think I can really live with myself keeping a secret which enables it. I feel like the scapegoat now because.

[C]

Because you are.

[B]

You are.

[C]

That's what that means.

[B]

We are getting through. We are getting through.

[C]

Oh, good.

[B]

OP says you're right. I feel like I handled it in a weak and pretty cowardly way because I was scared of hurting my boyfriend and his relationship, but it didn't feel ethically right. I still feel like garbage about it. I'm reconsidering if I should move forward at all with the relationship. And thank you to everyone who has helped me feel a little better because his friends are all saying how I'm crazy and that we should break up, and I feel like he's not seeing it from the ethical point of view. So I'm isolated and this helps me get a different perspective.

[A]

Good, you're not losing much.

[B]

Thank you, Reddit.

[C]

We need a word for when, like, you think you've self sabotaged, but actually you're better off because of it.

[B]

What is that word?

[C]

I have a word with my friend for it, but it's because of it. We call it getting spectrumed, but it's because I got scammed. But then the deal I got ended.

[B]

Up being better was with the Internet, the spectrum.

[A]

I was curious if that's what you meant.

[B]

That's spectrum, man. They can rob you the amount of servage. Outage. Service. Service. What is that? I know they're bad, but your service has been interrupted. Service outage.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Oh, my God. My brain just short circuited. It's like, you should not pay us. And the upload speed sucks. Yeah, that's why you go at T. @ T fiber. If you have that in your area, get it.

[C]

It's a whole thing. Yeah, but there needs to be another word that.

[B]

Yeah, what is that? Like. Like it's not self. It's the opposite of self sabotage. Because it's like yourself, but accidentally, right? Friends, I know you're crafty.

[C]

Come up with or come up with.

[B]

Come up with a word. I think there is one. There's. We're gonna create one. We are gonna create one. Like, it's. It's leveling up. It's like you did the right thing. It felt sabotaging at first, but it's self.

[A]

And we're gonna use it so much, it's gonna get added to the dictionary in 2025.

[B]

Whoa, let's do that.

[A]

Officially.

[B]

That would be a all here.

[A]

Add a word.

[B]

Come up with a word for this.

[C]

You made a mistake, but now your life is so much better than God. I made that mistake.

[B]

What is that?

[C]

Failing upwards?

[B]

Basically. Basically. I'm sure that definition is in the urban dictionary for something we have to find.

[C]

It's getting spectrumed as well.

[B]

There is a comment here that does really concern me. The wife has allegedly told her husband that she doesn't want him hanging out with me.

[C]

Oh, my God. I knew this would happen.

[B]

So it's like I'm either isolating and holding the bag or I tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth.

[A]

Yeah, blow it up as you walk out. Come on, say everything.

[C]

Do like a little voice note. Get a, like, voice recording of your next fight with your boyfriend about it and then get your proof and then send it.

[A]

Just reveal all as you exit.

[C]

A little tell all book that she sends off to everybody.

[B]

She should. And I think she will because one of the most recent comments. I'm having a really hard time and appreciate that people are telling me to go back to the wife and tell her the truth. I'm having trouble living with myself and feel like it's not fair to me to have to take the blame and be thrown under the bus. Even though I really should have handled it differently. I can't handle carrying the weight of continuing to hurt someone, especially by lying. I think it's gonna come out.

[C]

Loving that.

[B]

I think it's gonna come out.

[A]

Out.

[B]

I'm going up. There's so many comments. So you guys will have a good time if you like, checking out the posts.

[C]

They'll probably be a lot more even by the time this comes out.

[A]

True.

[B]

I know there probably will because OP is so active in this post. I mean, this is so fresh. But lots of comments. I'm trying to see if we leave off on a, like, yeah, we're breaking up.

[C]

Like, well, I don't know how they could stay together if, like, his friend group now hates her and thinks she's crazy and they're fighting over this and now she doesn't trust him and the Internet's telling. Like, I just feel like there are so many elements from actually, like, his side and her side of potentially breaking up now, which him breaking up with her would also be getting spectrumed.

[B]

Yeah, it absolutely would. And a lot of people are kind of questioning, like, well, how did you hurt your boyfriend? And OP does elaborate that, like, he told her this info because she said, I'll never say anything. Yeah, but, like, you don't have client privilege. Like, this is. You're not a lawyer, you're not a doctor. Like, you don't have to abide by, like, that confidentiality if it's something serious and, like, goes against your morals and is objectively wrong.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So, yeah, you might have broke his trust, but again, like, you might be leveling up by this whole thing happening.

[A]

But you're breaking his trust. That's a funny statement.

[B]

That's what, like, OP Is saying here.

[C]

By revealing all of the. All the lying going on.

[B]

Yeah, I broke his confidence.

[C]

Yeah. She's the villain out of all of these people.

[B]

Yeah, I know. It's killing me. I feel like I can't live with myself without coming clean. No, he told me not to tell anyone, and I said it anyways, which I feel really bad about.

[C]

I think you're right, Justin, though. Like, this is something she wanted to do. And, like, yeah, she was drunk, but, like, she was probably going to at some. Either way.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because it's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It would have eaten at her, knowing her. Her history.

[C]

She's with so many comments. We know her so well.

[B]

Her inside thoughts.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, there's a lot here to unpack and, like, yeah, I think it will come out, but as of right now, they are not broken up. Feeling bad about breaking his trust wasn't my place. Inhibitions were down because of alcohol. It was impulsive. Even though I know my feelings were real, I feel bad about how I handled it.

[A]

You're overthinking that. Just come on now.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think before 2025, we'll get an update that they've broken up. And I will be checking. I will be looking into it. Looking into this.

[B]

Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. Okay, on to the next one.

[A]

Onward.

[C]

Onward.

[B]

Another one of this week's partners is game time. The holidays bring a lot of family and friends together. And one thing game time is focusing on is getting you and your loved ones to fun events. So whether that's a concert, a game, you should be looking on game time for the very best deals. I myself am headed to a Vikings game in the next couple of days, and I have a bunch of family and friends that are now last minute scouring for tickets and they've been looking everywhere and haven't been able to find a good deal. So I send them to gametime and to me that makes sense because Game Time has gametime picks. It filters out all the fluff to show you the very best deals. And my favorite part about Game Time, you get all in pricing so you actually see what you're gonna pay before you even check out. And you know you're getting the best price because Game Time has a lowest price guarantee. So take the guesswork out of buying tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account and use code THT20 dollars off your first purchase terms. Apply again, create an account and redeem code THT for $20 off download game Time Today what time is it? Game time I have two really good well one I haven't checked but I find personally attacked by this one. So we're going to rapid fire these last two because I'm like I can't. I feel like I can't leave them behind. I can't leave them behind in 2024. I can't. So the first one coming from our very own Too Hot Takes Subreddit six days old Titled boyfriend says I'm taking his joy away after I told him to stop peeing in the shower.

[C]

Joy okay, okay.

[B]

A couple of months ago I, 34, female, started noticing a foul urine scent in the washroom. Over time I noticed it smelled the strongest. After my partner, 33, male, showered, I asked him if he has been peeing in the shower, to which he slyly admitted I told him I can smell it and asked him to stop. The toilet is right beside the shower. However, time goes by and I've had to continuously tell him him to stop peeing in the shower because I can smell it every time he does and I think it's so gross. He eventually confesses that he has always peed in the shower that he gets so relaxed and just lets it go and questions why only now I've started to smell it. We speculate it's because I got a new shower curtain of a different material than we previously had bad and it retains the urine smell.

[A]

Why is it on the curtain?

[B]

The curtain now?

[C]

Can't you just aim for the drink?

[B]

You would think the curtain now gets washed every time I smell urine. Anyways, he says I'm taking his joy away of relaxing and peeing in the shower and suggested we go back to the old shower curtain. I told him to pee before he showers or hold it until he's done and use the toilet. But am I the asshole?

[C]

Okay, Sometimes growing up isn't fun. Sometimes when you grow up, things have to change. That maybe you wish you could still. Maybe you wish you could still eat Sundays at 2am every night, and that would be lovely. But you get headaches when you're an adult when you do that. And there comes a point in our lives when we have to change.

[A]

I think a good word more would be compromise. Because this feels more like a compromise to make your partner happy on something that's really not that big of a deal. Because I would say probably in the upper 90 percentile of adults pee in the shower. And I think, yeah, if you, you know, I. I have some tips I would give.

[B]

Tips.

[A]

I think you need to pee at least in the first. First 25 to 30% of your shower.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because that subsequently gets, you know, it goes right down the drain with everything else and anything left.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Unless his joy. I. The joy part is weird. Like, you're peeing. Get over it. A hot shower. I love a hot shower. Okay. The joy from the hot shower is not me peeing in the shower. I don't know. Maybe that's just his thing. But I just think. Are you. The curtain and. Come on.

[C]

I don't think he has to never again pee in the shower. I think, you know what? Every once in a while. But if you're not. If you're doing it in such a way, like, clearly he's not cleaning up after himself ever. There's no, like, you know, spraying. Spraying some cleaning stuff around the shower. Maybe he needs to be in charge of cleaning the shower and do it really frequently. But it can't go on like this. There can't be a constant piss smell in your. In your lovely shower.

[B]

So I'm wondering if they have a fabric shower curtain. Like, you know, there's. There's usually for most people, two sides. There's the plastic liner and then the fabric side that's more decorative. I have been to some places, a hotel, oddly, which. That doesn't seem right. Where it was only fabric and they put it on the inside. And I'm like, it gets wet is weird. You're gonna get mold and mildew. Like, what. I'm. I'm confused about the shower curtain and why it's retaining so much scent. But also, why isn't he just aiming for the drain?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't think it's normal for the peace smell to. To last.

[B]

No.

[A]

No. My guy seems dehydrated. Okay. If it's that smelly? You're dehydrated. Come on now, drink some water. Everyone listening, drink some water right now. I guarantee you most of us need it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Especially that guy.

[B]

I definitely do.

[A]

It's coming out straight yellow.

[B]

I will say, and I'm trying to fact check myself right now. This is something I heard recently and I will talk about it more on one of our early episodes next year. But we met someone at a live show who we essentially saved her baby because of talking about about peeing on the podcast. Oh my God. Absolutely incredible story. And those that were at our Clearwater Live show heard it in person. But we'll get there. But I also heard at one of those shows that peeing in the shower is bad for your your pelvic floor. It can actually hurt your pelvic floor to pee. Which we talked about that like on the podcast. Like you shouldn't push your pee. You should like relax and just let it come. So I googled and one of the responses from the conservation and it talks about similar to hearing the effects of running water. The authors of the study suggest being in warm water is calming for the body and activates the parasitic nervous system. The activation can result in the relaxation of the bladder and possibly the pelvic floor muscle, bringing the urge to pee. However, so that one says nothing about damaging. However, there is one coming from the Orchard Clinic that says while it may feel efficient, this habit can trigger your brain to associate the sound of running water with the urge to urinate, leading to awkward moments of urgency at the wrong time. On top of that, standing in the shower prevents your pelvic floor muscles from fully relaxing, which could weaken them over time. I so mixed mixed info here.

[C]

I personally would not love for someone to be peeing in my shower.

[B]

Are you a shower peer?

[C]

I have a handful of times in my life.

[B]

Only a handful.

[C]

It's not something I regularly participate in. But I have like, I have a lot of like bacteria like dirt tank type things that I get really freaked out about. So it could be just coming from that place.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Like I will wash my hands so many times in the day before doing anything else. Like I just, it would bother me.

[B]

No, I get that.

[C]

But I also understand like that it's sort of. It's an easy area to clean. You just have to be cleaning it.

[B]

And maybe that's the thing. Maybe he needs to take if they have a handheld shower head and like do a courtesy or one of those.

[C]

After shower like cleaning sprays.

[B]

Yes, those are good yeah.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

There's one. What's the brand we really like from? We get it at Target. It's like a healthy brand.

[A]

It's whatever their main house brand is.

[C]

Is it method?

[B]

No, it's like non toxic.

[A]

Two words.

[B]

It's the brand Everspring and they actually have like a daily shower cleaner spray. You just like spray it on. It's. It's great. It helps prevent grime and buildup. It's really good. And they have an amazing all purpose cleaner. It smells incredible.

[A]

They have all sorts.

[B]

Yeah. And they're like non toxic, cruelty free. Like really? I'm vibing with the brand. Yeah, Vibing.

[C]

That's amazing. That's lovely. I mean, I close the lid to the toilet before I flush every time. Like I'm. I don't like.

[B]

You're tidy.

[C]

Yeah. I just don't.

[A]

Is your toothbrush exposed?

[C]

No, I keep like a sanitizer pod on it. It.

[B]

You're really good. You're really good. We. We do need to be better about our toothbrushes. They just chill out. And I know there's poo particles floating around.

[C]

I just get freaked out in my head about that kind of thing.

[B]

No, I talk about it. Just.

[A]

She reminds me of it every day.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Like c. To stop talking about the poo particles. Morgan. Let me know.

[B]

I.

[A]

Like, I'm still alive. I don't get cavities and something's working.

[B]

So I know maybe it's that E. Coli.

[A]

Keep it rolling. 1.

[B]

So top comment on this. There's no way simply peeing in a running shower is making the bathroom stink. His piss is somewhere else. Get a black light. Oh, genius.

[C]

Genius. They're like. There's a third secret third answer here.

[A]

Joy is just sideways straight at the curtain.

[C]

Just his Joy is actually playing a game with it where he goes all over the place.

[B]

Oh. Can you imagine if. If they got a black light and it's like, I don't know, some crazy word spelled out or his name just on the curtain.

[C]

Just like this dude's like, silly little face.

[B]

Oh, my God. Little screechy owl. If I could give you a little award right now.

[C]

Oh, that's their name. I get it.

[B]

I would. I would. Do I have any. I don't have any free awards. I'm so sorry. I'd give you one.

[C]

No. So smart.

[B]

It's so good. Next comment down. Sounds like he actively aims for the shower curtain. Tell him there's a difference between peeing in the shower and peeing on the shower.

[C]

Mm.

[B]

Right. If I as a woman can aim and hit the drain, so can he with his saber. I am curious how they aim.

[C]

Okay. Saber mentioned.

[B]

I'm curious.

[A]

A go girl.

[B]

I do want to try one of those.

[C]

I have one.

[B]

Did you get it for camping?

[C]

I did. Because. Well, also doomsday prepping. Because every few months I'm like, oh.

[B]

My God, I need to buy everything.

[C]

That you could possibly need. If I had to survive in the wild.

[B]

Do you have those meal kits? The Emmy? I do, in fact. Have you tried them?

[C]

Nope, I just keep them in the garage.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We should try them before because they expire, don't they?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I.

[C]

My water is going to expire soon. My five year water supply.

[A]

Hey, okay. Hey, can we.

[B]

Sorry, sorry.

[A]

No. Can us three band together and say if anything goes down?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I for sure want a doomsday.

[A]

We have the location.

[C]

Okay, perfect.

[A]

We will send you the location. You bring your supplies. We'll provide the location.

[B]

We have a clean water source.

[C]

Perfect. Oh, my God.

[A]

We will.

[C]

We're doing it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I know how to farm.

[C]

Oh, my God. That's perfect.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I have so much gear. I have so much gear.

[B]

Okay, you got the gear.

[A]

Good.

[B]

My thing is the gas. Like, how do we get from here to our location? So one thing we would have to start storing is a gas tank.

[C]

I also have an electric scooter.

[B]

Oh, is it solar powered?

[C]

But I have like an. I have like a big.

[B]

It'll take us three years power thing that can.

[C]

Solar power.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

So then like I could plug it into that.

[A]

All three of us on a scooter, we make it 10 miles a day.

[B]

I mean, we have horses. Like, the horse would probably go farther than the scooter.

[C]

Oh, my God. I just need to get to.

[B]

You just got to get to us.

[C]

Via the scooter, which I can do. You're not too far.

[B]

No, you. That's why you need the scooter. There we go.

[C]

To get to you guys.

[B]

There we go. Last but not least for us here, the last story of 2024.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

It is titled Do I Tell my Wife the truth after 11 years, probably. When we first started dating, my girlfriend asked me what my favorite meal was so she could cook it for our one month anniversary. We were 16 and I told her my favorite meal was chicken parmesan. She cooked it for me from scratch and it was delicious. However, I realized that what I meant to say was Chicken Alfredo. I felt bad that she went out of her way to cook what she thought was my favorite meal. So I didn't correct her or myself. Fast forward to now. We've been together for 11 years. We've been married for two. And once a month or so, she still makes chicken parm for me because she thinks it's my favorite. It's good, but it's really just not my favorite. But at this point, it's way too late to tell her the truth, right?

[C]

Oh, this is so wholesome. Thank you for bringing in something low stakes like this. I. I mean, I think it's fine to tell her the truth, but I also think it's fine to be like 10 years have passed. I have a new favorite thing.

[B]

There we go.

[C]

People's favorite. Things change. Like, my dad always had my mom make him a chocolate. Not had her make him, but like his favorite thing for his birthday was like this chocolate pie. And this year, for the first time in, in like 30 years, he asked for something else.

[B]

What'd he go with?

[C]

Actually was something that I made, so I kind of killed that. It's like a shortbread with like a chocolate ganache on top. Oh, it's so good. But I think it's like an easy way to do that is like, actually, babe, my favorite thing that you made this year. And like this recipe really, really stood out to me. Now I think this is my new favorite is your chicken Alfredo. If that's still his favorite.

[B]

I like that play. Yeah, I like that play.

[A]

This isn't something big enough to bring in any sort of, you know, trust issues or anything like that. It's not worth the risk of coming clean about an 11 year lie. It's just not worth it to say, hey, I've been lying to you for 11 years. I like that idea a lot more because it doesn't change anything. If then your conscience just can't handle it, then go for it. But I just.

[C]

Because 11 years is a long time.

[B]

Yeah. Because then you're saying there's a lot of chicken parm.

[A]

Oh, well, I've been making this for you forever. And you could have just so easily told me, but then you, like the snowball went down the hill and turned into this giant thing. Is it. Will it become a problem?

[B]

So you're in the boat of just don't even, don't, don't go there. Just leave it.

[A]

No, I like, I like the change.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, every seven years, your. Your whole, every cell in your body technically changes. So it's like, so do your tastes.

[C]

Yeah. Because I don't think it would be the worst thing in the world to tell her. But she also might be like, shoot, I thought I was doing such a great thing for you all these years. She. She probably wouldn't be like, mad at you, but she might just feel like, ah, this thing that I thought I was doing for you, like, it's almost just like, preserve that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you'd be taking that away from her to make yourself feel better.

[B]

I agree.

[C]

Yeah, I'm with you.

[B]

I'm with you. Top comment. I don't know if my husband said, quote, my love, I love your chicken parm, but I have a terrible secret. I said the wrong meal that day. And for years I've held on to that because I was touched you did it. I meant chicken Alfredo. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I would love to try it from you. Yes. He talks like that. I would probably laugh my ass off for 20 minutes that he's been stressed by his mistake. This long funny stories are the best part of a long life together.

[A]

It depends.

[C]

Yeah, it depends. I think that this person probably knows best how it would go in their relationship.

[B]

Yeah. So we do have a comment following that one. This was basically the exact conversation my girlfriend and I just had had regarding this post. It's wild that this has 17 upvotes while inventing an entire scenario where you trick her into making Alfredo and then act like it's your new favorite. Has 2600 laughing my ass off. So I had this one sorted by best comments. So that is the one that's coming in now and being the best. However, the top comment with 11k upvotes is ask her to make chicken Alfredo and hype it up so much and say, I might be reaching, but this might be my new favorite. How did you manage that? And just talk about it so much that when she asks what you want for a special dinner, pretend to be stuck between the two, scratch your head and sigh and say, you know, I really think I want chicken Alfredo. Last time you made it, it was so good. I've been craving it ever since.

[C]

I mean, surely after 10 years married to someone like you have a dinner together that really blows you away and is now your new favorite. That sounds more normal to me than having the same favorite from. How old were you? Like 17?

[B]

He said 16.

[C]

16.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I feel like something new's gotta come in.

[B]

So OP responds, this is amazing advice. Thank you.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Next comment down. If you think you can pull that maneuver off, then go for it. If not, you'll take it to the Grave and chicken parm is your favorite? Yeah. Proceed with caution. Yeah, y'all are silly. Yeah, I'm kind of on the boat of, well, you.

[A]

You don't know.

[B]

What would you do with me? Would you try? Would you have a new favorite? Or would you just come out and be like, hey, I actually hate pink pepper Thai food. I know it's your favorite Thai in la, but I don't really even like it. I like Grandma's Thai Kitchen.

[C]

Both good options.

[A]

I could. I think I could go either way, and I think we'd be totally fine, but I just don't see a reason to invite any sort of potential for issue because there is 100. There's a reason. That's the top comment. With that many upvotes, there are 100 people out there that would be offended and think, like, why didn't you tell me?

[B]

I'm hurt.

[A]

You couldn't, like, you couldn't just trust. And so you've been keeping this even. And I feel like it makes it worse that it's not even worth lying about, but you kept this stupid lie for this many years. And I feel like people could read into that and be like, ooh, this is weird, and our dynamics off.

[B]

But to that point, I mean, there is a comment here because I'm trying to find OP's response to something. Someone goes, yeah, what the. The most voted answer is a straight up lie. So it's like, yeah, he lied, but then you're covering it up with another lie, which then it's like, you double lied to me.

[C]

I think white lives are okay. I think I'm just like, it depends on the situation. If she was, like, just so proud about making you your favorite thing and, like, it meant a lot to her that she was able to do that for you and thought it meant a lot to you too, and it's like, oh, this whole time you haven't been enjoying this, right? Like, that. That would hurt. Yeah, I don't. I don't know. It depends on the relationship. It depends on how much it meant to her. It depends.

[A]

It depends on the double lie. Doesn't matter, because you're not committing some crime, you're not cheating, you're not hurting somebody, and they'll never know and how.

[C]

Much of a lie is, I have a new favorite food.

[B]

I think I would. I would say, like, that I don't think I'd necessarily follow the top comment and, like, put up this whole ruse. Yeah, I'd be like, hey, you know, I've been thinking And I think I really am leaning towards chicken Alfredo as a new favorite. You want to give that one a go? Don't make up this whole elaborate ruse with it. So, Op, in that thread of people being like, the top comment is just lying. People start asking, like, are you. Is he scared of his wife? Like, why lie? Like, what's the deal here? And Opie goes, I'm not afraid of my wife. Just trying to find a polite solution to a mistake I made as a teenager.

[C]

Yeah. And I'm also, like, picturing my mom in this scenario and, like, the things that she makes me for my birthday each year. And if I were to tell her, like, actually, for the last 10 years, I haven't liked that food you made me, I do really think it would hurt her feelings. And, like, that's kind of the only example I can go off of. And I just think it's not worth it. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, well, you know what, you guys?

[C]

What? He's going with the lie.

[B]

I almost forgot about it. But we have an update.

[C]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

I'm glad. My travesty. Which also let me just give one little. Like, you're killing me. The moderators on R Advice removed the post and removed his update.

[C]

Why?

[B]

So, like, I'm literally in his account. I'm. I totally forgot that there's an update on Baru. And I'm like, oh, fuck this. We don't have anything. But no, we. We do have an update. Moderators, man. Quit deleting the good ones.

[C]

Leaving them in 2024.

[B]

Yeah. So this is coming from December 11, 2024, just a few short days ago.

[C]

Wow. I remember where I was.

[B]

Was. I'm glad my travesty brought so many of you joy. I apologize for taking so long to update you all, but I was vexed with a life altering decision, and I need to weigh the responses I received.

[C]

Okay, King.

[B]

I ultimately decided to tell my wife the truth.

[C]

Whoa. How'd it go? That should be clipped as, like, just. I decided to tell my wife the truth. Truth. Boo.

[B]

I'm not sure I made the right decision after all, because I am far more embarrassed now than I ever was over this. I've never seen my wife laugh the way she did that night. Just when I thought she was done laughing, she would start up all over again. We now have this incredible inside joke for the rest of our lives together. A huge thank you to everyone who commented their advice place next time they're a restaurant.

[A]

So are you gonna get the chicken parm?

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

I'M so happy for them. Love is love.

[B]

Tell the truth, baby.

[C]

Love is love.

[A]

Not all people would react that way. I'm not saying that's you. I'm just saying out there in general, I don't think everyone would laugh it off.

[C]

No. I think he did what was right for his relationship because he knows the nuances and intricacies better than any of us ever could.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

Love wins at the end of the day.

[B]

Day. Happy ending. Happy ending.

[C]

Thank you so much for bringing us.

[B]

Joy there at the end. Yeah, we needed it.

[A]

Yeah, we needed to experience the same joy as the shower pier.

[C]

She's taking my joy away.

[B]

I do. Yeah. I'm a shower peer, and sometimes I'm like, I know I'm dehydrated from that, but I make sure it all gets down.

[C]

I think that's legal. Yeah, I think you're valid.

[B]

But now I'm like, I definitely have Pavlov'd myself. I know I have, because every time I brush my teeth, I have to pee. So that's gonna be my goal for 2025. One of them. I have a few. But I'm gonna not pee so close after brushing my teeth.

[A]

Better than some of the Pavlovs on this show.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Yeah, I know. But I would love to hear what everyone is leaving in 2024. Like, if you guys out there or on this sofa next to me have anything you want to leave in 2024. I read just about all the comments on YouTube, so put them on there. Let me see what you're leaving. Whether it's a bad friendship, bad relationship, bad habit. I don't know you. It is your world. So tell us what you're leaving behind. But this has really been an amazing year. It really has. I love that Michaela's become more of a regular.

[C]

I know the fact that I got to do the Thanksgiving episode and the last one of the year. Are you kidding?

[B]

Michaela is not being left behind in 2024.

[C]

So exciting. I'm honored. Thank you so much.

[B]

But, yeah, anything. I'm trying to leave.

[A]

Was that a question?

[B]

Yeah, I'm trying to leave cracking my knuckles behind. Like, that's something that I, like, really want to kick the curb on.

[C]

I can't do that. That would be taking my joy away.

[B]

I know. And I want it, like, I think I need to, like, hypnotize myself to, like, like, stop cracking your knuckles.

[A]

I've never done it, but I'm going.

[C]

To try to leave, like, door dashing in 2024. A little bit. And try to save money a bit more often.

[B]

Oh, a budget queen.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Instead of spending $30 on that, maybe I put that away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're not avoiding the company. You're just avoiding that aspect of your life.

[C]

Yeah. Like, still a little bit is okay.

[B]

I love Door Dash, but, like.

[C]

But it can't keep happening the way that it's been happening.

[B]

I'm very bad about. Like, it's literally a restaurant that's right down the street, and I'm just like. Well, it's like, get your steps in, Hot girl. Walk. Get it, Like. Yeah.

[C]

And I do think that's just, like, a habit. That's just like a habit that you can develop or you can undevelop in a bad way. So I'm.

[B]

Yeah, I'm okay. I'm adding that one to my list. I love that. What do you got?

[A]

Well, I'm kind of a person that the end of the year, like, rolling into the next year, nothing changes for me, it's just. Just life keeps moving.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I enact New Year's resolutions just at any random point in the year.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And the thing that I've started recently is just asking whether that's on. Chat with a representative for whatever company you're trying to get something done with. Just ask. Oh, upgrade fee. Any chance you can remove that wave that? Oh, let me check.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Upgrade fee.

[C]

Removed parking ticket recently.

[A]

It's anything. Also, just ask for things that aren't necessarily like that.

[B]

That's a good one.

[A]

I'm having trouble coming up with examples.

[B]

That's really good.

[A]

Ask. Because you never know the answer. Walk up to someone you're interested in working for. Just ask.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Just go for it.

[B]

So maybe you're leaving behind the fear of rejection. You're. You're.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Because that is a big one. Rejection therapy. And just asking is like, that's something I've really wanted to. Like. I do it sometimes, but, like, I need to do it all the time because you never know what you'll get if you just ask.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There was a really good quote I saw recently that was like, what would you be doing if you weren't scared of failure? And would it be different than what you're currently doing?

[B]

Isn't that a powerful.

[C]

And then it's like, whoa. I didn't even realize that. I was so scared.

[B]

So scared. Ah. So now's your turn, guys. Let us hear what you're leaving behind or enacting in 2025. We can make it positive, too. We can be optimistic versus the negative. Let us know what you're gonna do in 2025. But thank you so, so so much for being here, supporting the show, continuing to listen. I am blown away. I mean we're coming up on our four year anniversary and it is very surreal. I am every day I'm like, this is my life. Pinch me like. I am very, very grateful and forever indebted to you all. So thank you. Happy holidays and until next year.

[A]

Until next year.

[B]

Bye guys. Hi. Fabulous.

[C]

So good.

[A]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this holiday season.

[B]

Make sure you set aside time for self care now through December 31st. Shop in store and online for participating self care products and and get four times points to use for discounts on future grocery and gas purchases. Stock up on self care favorites like Pantene Shampoo, Gillette Fusion and Proglide Razors, Tampax Tampons, Aussie Base, Hairspray and Pampers Swaddlers diapers offer ends December 31st. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[A]

Lights are going up. Snow is falling down. There's a feeling of good around town. It could only mean one thing.

[C]

McRib is here.

[A]

People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere, stockings hung up by the chimney. With care. It could only mean one thing.

[C]

McRib is here at participating McDonald's for a limited time.

[B]

This is an ad by BetterHelp. What's your perfect night? Maybe you're settled at home alone or with loved ones covered in blankets about to watch your favorite show. It's cozy, it's calm, and you're ready for a perfect night in therapy. Can feel a bit like that. A place for comfort. A time when you replenish your energy and take care of yourself. And hey, you can even do it without leaving that same cozy couch. This season is the perfect time to give therapy a try right from the comfort of home with better help. Get matched with a tailored therapist based on your needs and preferences entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with the therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find comfort this season with better help. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelphelp.com.