Two Hot Takes - Episode 214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married

Release Date: May 1, 2025
Host: Morgan Absher
Guests: Matt and Amy from the podcast Midwest Married

Introduction

In Episode 214 of Two Hot Takes, host Morgan Absher, accompanied by her co-hosts Matt and Amy from Midwest Married, delves into a series of heated family and relationship conflicts sourced from Reddit's AITA, listener write-ins, and other internet platforms. The episode, aptly titled "The Families are Fighting!", unpacks complex dynamics within families and partnerships, offering candid opinions and insights on each situation.

1. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Become a Stay-at-Home Mom? (AITA)

Summary:
A woman shares her dilemma on Reddit after paying for the down payment on a house under the agreement that her husband, who earns $50,000 monthly, would cover monthly expenses and childcare. Post-maternity leave, she intended to focus on her consulting business while their financial responsibilities were managed by a full-time nanny. However, her husband has since refused to assist with childcare, leaving her exhausted and feeling deceived. Additionally, her mother-in-law has pressured her to become a stay-at-home mom, threatening financial instability if she refuses.

Key Discussion Points:

• Bait and Switch Concerns:
  Matt (05:29): "This absolutely was a bait and switch. She was bamboozled."

• Financial Abuse Indicators:
  Amy (07:40): "His pride is getting in the way... Taking care of a kid, it's woman's work."

• Control and Ego Issues:
  Morgan (09:17): "It's about control. He seems to prioritize his business over the family's well-being."

• Impact of Privilege:
  Amy (18:52): "These problems seemed very privileged... but he's not being a partner."

Conclusion:
The hosts unanimously agree that the woman is not the asshole. They highlight the husband's controlling behavior and financial manipulation, emphasizing the importance of mutual support in a partnership.

2. Am I the Asshole for Feeling Upset About My Boyfriend's Comments on My Shirt? (AITA)

Summary:
A 27-year-old woman recounts feeling hurt when her boyfriend repeatedly makes negative comments about her clothing, particularly a new shirt she bought after gaining weight due to medication. Despite expressing her insecurities, he dismisses her feelings and belittles her, even involving their young child in the criticism.

Key Discussion Points:

• Gaslighting and Emotional Abuse:
  Elmo (24:42): "She's being gaslit... You are being gaslit."

• Impact on Children:
  Matt (25:19): "It teaches boys to treat women poorly."

• Support and Validation:
  Amy (30:00): "Don't normalize this behavior. You deserve better."

Conclusion:
The consensus among the hosts is clear: the boyfriend's behavior is emotionally abusive. The woman is not the asshole for feeling upset and seeking support, with the hosts urging her to prioritize her well-being and that of her children.

3. Am I the Asshole for Returning a Gift My Mother-in-Law Bought for My Child? (AITA)

Summary:
A mother expresses discomfort over her mother-in-law purchasing fake pregnancy bellies for her six-year-old daughter. Concerned that these realistic props encourage inappropriate play and possibly stem from excessive exposure to YouTube content, she requests the return of the gifts. Her mother-in-law responds negatively, viewing the request as harsh.

Key Discussion Points:

• Age-Appropriate Play:
  Elmo (38:28): "She's thinking about nurturing, which is wholesome."

• Parental Boundaries:
  Amy (51:09): "It's your prerogative to ask for the return."

• Psychological Perspective:
  Matt (49:06): "There's a line between learning through play and whatever your mother-in-law is doing."

Conclusion:
The hosts agree that while imaginative play is normal, the type of gift in question crosses boundaries of appropriateness for the child's age. The mother is not the asshole for requesting the return of the gift to maintain healthy developmental boundaries.

4. Am I the Asshole for Discouraging My Wife from Getting a Boudoir Photo Shoot? (AITA)

Summary:
A husband voices his concern over his wife's interest in a boudoir photo shoot, fearing it will exacerbate her pre-existing self-esteem issues and trigger a relapse into disordered eating. Despite recognizing the potential benefits of such a shoot for empowerment, he discourages her, leading to tension and emotional distance between them.

Key Discussion Points:

• Dismissal of Women's Empowerment:
  Elmo (56:07): "It's about her and her self-esteem."

• Impact of Negative Comments:
  Matt (59:17): "You just kept getting... You imply she's got a problem."

• Support vs. Control:
  Amy (62:48): "Celebrate her. You're being a bully."

Conclusion:
The hosts condemn the husband's approach, labeling his actions as emotionally abusive and unsupportive. They assert that he is the asshole for discouraging his wife from pursuing something that could potentially boost her confidence and self-esteem.

5. Am I the Asshole for Walking Out After My Wife's Ovarian Cancer Diagnosis? (AITA)

Summary:
Upon learning of his wife’s ovarian cancer diagnosis, a husband feels overwhelmed and walks out of the hospital, returning to a hotel instead of supporting her. His anguish is compounded by resentment over his past insistence on having children, which now seems unattainable due to her illness.

Key Discussion Points:

• Abandonment During Crisis:
  Elmo (74:23): "You absolutely are the asshole for abandoning your wife."

• Misplaced Resentment:
  Matt (78:39): "You got to deal with something completely different than what he explained."

• Emotional Priority:
  Amy (84:04): "You need to put any selfish emotions aside to care for your partner."

Conclusion:
The hosts unanimously agree that the husband’s actions were selfish and neglectful during a critical moment. He is unequivocally the asshole for abandoning his wife when she needed him the most.

6. Am I the Asshole for Requesting My Husband Stop Helping with Dinner? (AITA)

Summary:
A husband who works from home manages dinner duties but feels overwhelmed by his wife’s constant requests for help during meal preparations. Seeking a mental break, he asks her to reduce her dependence on him for cooking, leading to conflicts about household responsibilities.

Key Discussion Points:

• Equitable Division of Labor:
  Matt (86:30): "I hate cooking. This would be exhausting."

• Weaponized Competence:
  Morgan (88:33): "This could be him dodging mental labor by pretending incompetence."

• Supportive Communication:
  Elmo (91:44): "Teaching her to cook better or offering support instead of criticism."

Conclusion:
The hosts conclude that the husband is not the asshole. They acknowledge his need for a mental break and encourage open communication and equitable sharing of household responsibilities to maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.

7. Am I the Asshole for Being in the Delivery Room While My Sister Gave Birth? (Relationship Advice)

Summary:
A 27-year-old man faces criticism from his girlfriend for his presence in the delivery room during his sister’s childbirth. His girlfriend perceives his support as inappropriate and incestuous, leading to arguments and tension in their relationship.

Key Discussion Points:

• Supportive Role of Siblings:
  Amy (94:31): "Giving birth is not sexual. It's about support and nurturing."

• Cultural Misunderstandings:
  Matt (96:02): "Birth is a miracle, not a sexual event."

• Healthy Family Dynamics:
  Elmo (99:39): "Your sister needed you, and you were there for her."

Conclusion:
The hosts agree that the man's actions were purely supportive and appropriate. They label his girlfriend’s concerns as unfounded, emphasizing the importance of family support during significant life events. He is not the asshole for being present during his sister’s childbirth.

8. Am I the Asshole for Considering Changing My Baby's Name After Discovering My Husband's Affair? (Relationship Advice)

Summary:
A 26-year-old woman contemplates changing her baby’s name after discovering her husband's affair with another man who shares the same name she intended for her child. Struggling with feelings of betrayal and the desire to maintain her original choice, she seeks advice on whether to proceed with the name or opt for a different one to avoid emotional triggers.

Key Discussion Points:

• Personal Empowerment and Healing:
  Elmo (105:43): "She's going to pick a new name and leave him."

• Emotional Associations with Names:
  Matt (106:02): "A name can be a constant reminder. Choose a new one to avoid resentment."

• Support and Validation:
  Amy (106:41): "Celebrate her choice to prioritize her well-being over the affiliation."

Conclusion:
The hosts strongly support the woman’s consideration to change her baby’s name, recognizing the emotional complexities involved. They agree that personal healing and emotional well-being should take precedence, advising her to choose a name that fosters positive associations. She is not the asshole for contemplating a name change in light of her husband’s betrayal.

Final Thoughts

Throughout the episode, Matt and Amy from Midwest Married provide insightful and often critical perspectives on each situation, advocating for emotional well-being, equitable relationships, and healthy family dynamics. Their candid discussions encourage listeners to reflect on their own relationships and boundaries, emphasizing the importance of support, respect, and mutual understanding.

Notable Quotes:

• Matt (05:29): "This absolutely was a bait and switch. She was bamboozled."
• Amy (07:40): "His pride is getting in the way... Taking care of a kid, it's woman's work."
• Elmo (24:42): "She's being gaslit... You are being gaslit."
• Amy (30:00): "Don't normalize this behavior. You deserve better."
• Elmo (38:28): "She's thinking about nurturing, which is wholesome."
• Amy (51:09): "It's your prerogative to ask for the return."
• Matt (56:07): "You are the asshole."
• Elmo (74:23): "You absolutely are the asshole for abandoning your wife."
• Amy (84:04): "You need to put any selfish emotions aside to care for your partner."
• Matt (93:23): "Not the asshole."
• Matt (106:02): "So, you're the asshole for... What?"

Connect with the Hosts

• Morgan Absher's Instagram: @morgsyabsher
• Midwest Married Podcast: Available on YouTube and major podcast platforms.
• Follow Two Hot Takes on Instagram: @TwoHotTakes
• Patreon: Listen to exclusive stories
• YouTube Channel: Two Hot Takes YouTube

Thank you for tuning into Two Hot Takes! Join Morgan and her co-hosts Matt and Amy next time as they unravel more juicy stories and provide their unfiltered opinions.