216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!

Summary

Episode Summary: Two Hot Takes – Episode 216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!

Release Date: May 15, 2025

In Episode 216 of Two Hot Takes, host Morgan Absher and co-host Lauren delve into the turbulent waters of relationship dilemmas sourced primarily from Reddit’s AITA (Am I the Asshole) subreddit. This episode, titled "Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!", explores various scenarios where individuals grapple with their emotional responses—termed "crashing out"—in the context of dating and relationships. The hosts provide insightful analysis, humor, and candid opinions, making the discussions both engaging and relatable for listeners.

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1. Bringing a Much Older Guy to Easter Dinner

Reddit Post: “Am I the asshole for bringing a much older guy to Easter dinner after my dad left my mom for someone close to my age.”
Username: I, 18, female

Summary: An 18-year-old woman recounts bringing a 38-year-old friend to her family's Easter dinner as a form of petty revenge after her father, aged 45, left her mother for a 26-year-old woman. Her intent was to highlight the double standard surrounding age gaps in relationships.

Discussion & Analysis: Morgan and Lauren dissect the age dynamics, noting the hypocrisy in the father's acceptance of his own age-gap relationship while condemning her friend's similar situation.

Notable Quotes:

• Morgan:
  [07:57] “It would appear that way. It certainly would appear that way.”

• Lauren:
  [08:38] “I think this is honestly a petty revenge that I like.”

• Morgan:
  [10:20] “Top comment on this one. Not the asshole.”

Conclusion: The hosts agree that the daughter is not in the wrong, emphasizing the inconsistency in parental judgments regarding age differences in relationships.

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2. Refusing to Apologize for Slapping Boyfriend Over Cake Incident

Reddit Post: “Am I the asshole for refusing to apologize for slapping my boyfriend when he smashed our birthday cake in my face?”
Username: I, female, 34

Summary: A 34-year-old woman describes a volatile birthday celebration where her 38-year-old boyfriend, Charles, forcefully smashed cake onto her face during a photo session, humiliating her in front of friends and family. She slapped him in self-defense and refused to apologize, leading to the end of their relationship.

Discussion & Analysis: Morgan and Lauren condemn Charles's behavior, labeling it as abusive and an overstepped joke. They highlight the inappropriateness of using cake-smashing as a means of asserting dominance and ridicule.

Notable Quotes:

• Lauren:
  [17:00] “He came off as violent. He forced it.”

• Morgan:
  [25:38] “It's just not a good joke.”

• Lauren:
  [26:49] “Good.”

Conclusion: Both hosts affirm that the woman acted appropriately by standing up for herself, recognizing the abusive nature of the incident, and supporting her decision to end the relationship.

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3. Getting a Co-Worker Fired for Visible Inappropriate Behavior

Reddit Post: “Am I the asshole for getting my co worker fired for his repeated visible dick print?”
Username: I, 19, female

Summary: A 19-year-old female intern shares her discomfort with a male coworker, Josh, who repeatedly allows his erection to be visible through his thin clothing during one-on-one interactions. Despite feeling harassed, she initially refrains from reporting him to avoid appearing dramatic. Eventually, her discomfort leads her to go to HR, resulting in Josh's termination. However, she faces retaliation from coworkers, feeling alienated at her workplace.

Discussion & Analysis: The hosts discuss workplace harassment, emphasizing the importance of reporting such inappropriate behavior. They criticize the company's poor culture and the coworkers' retaliatory actions, underscoring the harmful effects of enabling toxic environments.

Notable Quotes:

• Morgan:
  [33:16] “HR put Josh under review, and he ended up being fired with cause.”

• Lauren:
  [34:08] “No, it's definitely grounds for being fired as well.”

• Morgan:
  [38:22] “If you have a lot of resentment, it might bring some satisfaction. Is it the healthiest? Probably not.”

Conclusion: Morgan and Lauren support the intern’s actions, labeling her not the asshole. They highlight the necessity of standing up against harassment and the detrimental impact of workplace retaliation.

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4. Breaking Up After Boyfriend Skinny Dips with Sister

Reddit Post: “Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend after he skinny dipped in our pool with my sister at home.”
Username: I, female

Summary: A woman narrates her decision to break up with her 31-year-old boyfriend after he was seen skinny dipping in their backyard pool by her 19-year-old sister. The boyfriend’s inappropriate behavior, lacking any apology or remorse, leads her to end the relationship and distance herself from him.

Discussion & Analysis: The discussion centers around the boyfriend’s disrespectful and creepy behavior, especially given the presence of her sister. The hosts condemn his actions, labeling him a "pervert," and support her decision to sever ties, emphasizing her right to feel safe and respected.

Notable Quotes:

• Morgan:
  [43:58] “This is just like justifiable.”

• Lauren:
  [44:36] “It's so creepy. It's so not okay.”

• Morgan:
  [50:07] “Not okay. Not the asshole.”

Conclusion: Morgan and Lauren unanimously agree that the woman is not at fault. They applaud her for taking swift action to protect her well-being and support her decision to end a toxic relationship.

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5. Disrupting Best Friend’s Wedding Proposal

Reddit Post: “Am I the asshole for telling my best friend her marriage is doomed at her bachelorette party and accidentally getting her wedding canceled?”
Username: I, 27, female

Summary: A 27-year-old woman recounts how she publicly confronted her best friend, Amy, about her controlling and abusive fiancé, Jake, during Amy’s bachelorette party. Her outburst—calling Jake a "jealous man child"—led to Amy abandoning her plans to marry Jake, resulting in her wedding being canceled. While some friends support her intervention, others accuse her of being toxic and jealous.

Discussion & Analysis: Morgan and Lauren discuss the delicate nature of intervening in a friend’s toxic relationship. They acknowledge the difficulty in choosing the right moment and setting for such confrontations but commend her for prioritizing Amy’s well-being over social niceties.

Notable Quotes:

• Lauren:
  [54:04] “Absolutely not.”

• Morgan:
  [57:49] “She was going to be in for a lifetime of misery. But that doesn't mean she's going to like you for it.”

• Lauren:
  [58:29] “Consciousness. Conscious. Cautious. There's a lot of variations going on in that I know. Sound.”

Conclusion: Both hosts affirm that the woman acted out of concern and friendship, emphasizing that her intentions were to protect her friend from an abusive relationship. They recognize the emotional toll such interventions can take but stand by her decision as justified.

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6. Not Respecting Fancy Soap Policy Leads to "Soap Arms Race"

Reddit Post: “Am I the asshole for not respecting fancy soap policy in our bathroom and accidentally starting a soap based arms race?”
Username: I, male

Summary: A man describes a humorous yet escalating conflict with his wife over the use of expensive, artisanal soap designated for guests. After inadvertently using the fancy soap for everyday purposes, he retaliates by purchasing his own extravagant soap, leading to a playful yet competitive "soap arms race" in their household.

Discussion & Analysis: Morgan and Lauren find the situation amusing, highlighting the trivial disputes that can arise over household items. They discuss the importance of communication and compromise in maintaining harmony within relationships, even over seemingly insignificant matters.

Notable Quotes:

• Morgan:
  [108:00] “They're crashing out over soap.”

• Lauren:
  [110:43] “It's all fun and games until you murder a colleague over business card envy.”

Conclusion: The hosts laugh off the situation, viewing it as a lighthearted example of how minor disagreements can spiral if not addressed with understanding and cooperation.

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Additional Highlights:

• TikTok Trends and Safety:
  Lauren brings up concerning TikTok trends where children engage in dangerous activities like running through fences, drawing parallels to the problematic behaviors discussed in the AITA stories. Both hosts emphasize the importance of considering the impact of such trends on personal safety and community well-being.

• Workplace Culture and Harassment:
  The discussion around the coworker’s inappropriate behavior extends into a broader critique of toxic workplace environments, urging listeners to advocate for respectful and safe professional settings.

• Relationship Dynamics and Financial Decisions:
  Towards the end, Morgan and Lauren touch upon another AITA post about a couple facing financial decisions after winning the lottery. They explore themes of trust, financial management, and the strain that sudden wealth can place on relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Morgan:
  [77:08] “The English language is so hard. Like read. Read.”

• Lauren:
  [90:23] “It's definitely a grieving process.”

Conclusion: Throughout the episode, Morgan and Lauren blend humor with serious discussions, providing listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful insights into complex relationship issues. Their dynamic chemistry and candid conversations make for a compelling episode that resonates with anyone navigating the often tumultuous seas of love and personal growth.

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Connect with Two Hot Takes:

• Instagram: @TwoHotTakes
• Patreon: Exclusive Stories
• YouTube Channel: Two Hot Takes on YouTube

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Note: All timestamps correspond to the provided podcast transcript and may vary slightly during actual listening.

Transcript

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. If you're a college student, ChatGPT plus is now free through May. So during the worst part of the year, you can ask it to help you in unlimited ways, like getting ChatGPT to quiz you on your notes or explaining a problem in a way that works for you, maybe with extra graphs or charts. You could even ask it to help you with your meal plans and workout schedules. ChatGPT plus is a game changer and it's free for college students through May. Get it [e-mail] students restrictions apply. This episode is presented by Colgate Optic White. As you guys know, Wedding coming up and I want my teeth to be white. So I was super happy when I went to the dentist the other day, looked at my pictures from six months ago and my teeth are noticeably whiter. And that's thanks to Colgate Optic White. But whether you're the bride or a guest or you just want whiter teeth, you can get a smile glow up with Colgate's Optic White Overnight Whitening Pen. The pen gives you visibly whiter teeth in just one week, and if it's right into your usual nighttime routine, you just apply the white serum after brushing and let it work its magic while you sleep. You can get 15% off all Colgate Optic White products at shop.colgate.com with code 2 hot takes. Always use as directed. Today we are getting into the part two for justifiable Crash out. And I don't know if it's because I mentioned crashing out. Like my whole TikTok page since recording with Mikayla has been crash outs.

[Lauren]

Oh yeah, they're listening crash outs.

[Morgan]

And I got this one girl who posted a video and she was like crashing out at work because this middle aged woman tried to take credit for something I did. So I responded to everyone on the Slack chain and blah blah blah blah blah that it was my work and it was like really satisfying. And it got even funnier because then Microsoft commented on her video and was like yeah, assert your dominance queen. And then she like made a video to that comment. She goes, remember when you fired me two years ago? Like she had previously worked for Microsoft and then people were like being like oh my God, I can't believe you made this video. That's so funny. And she said something I'm going to well first I'm going to open this bottle just in case it just explodes.

[Lauren]

I feel like in maybe I'm not understanding the story, but I feel like these aren't Bad business decisions for.

[Morgan]

She's crashing out. But she said something really, really, really good. Okay, so I found the video. It's from Sham. And she says silence fails always crash out. It felt very prolific. Yeah, it felt mantra. You know what I mean?

[Lauren]

I just usually crash out, like behind the scenes.

[Morgan]

See? And she doesn't. Yeah, because silence fails.

[Lauren]

What does silence fail? I don't know.

[Morgan]

This is the words of my.

[Lauren]

I. Actually, my thought is that when I accidentally crash out in front of people, then I feel like they don't. What's the word?

[Morgan]

Respect you anymore?

[Lauren]

It's not even like respect. It's just like, let's say that I were to go off on some type of, like, political belief or some type of religious belief or like, I don't know, whatever it is. Like, let's say I'm just giving an example. Like, let's say someone goes off, goes hardcore into one belief. Then you just assume that's what they believe, and you aren't really open to hearing other.

[Morgan]

I think our definition of crash out might be different.

[Lauren]

I can't even think what I'm. I'm like, so in a bad head space right now.

[Morgan]

I need to go walk around the. Like, take a. I.

[Lauren]

Not around the block. I just need to start over real quick. I need to just know what I'm saying. I don't know what's coming out of my mouth.

[Morgan]

Crash out in real time. Okay. Okay, she's back. Just.

[Lauren]

Just get a. Get rid of all. Let's just start over from. From the top. Okay.

[Morgan]

There was a lot of effort that I just put into the beginning, so we're just. We're gonna. It's fine. We're fine. Everyone's fine. It's okay to crash out. It's okay. You know, your feelings are valid if you're crashing out. But was it justifiable? I don't know. We're gonna determine that today with part two of these crazy, goofy, wild stories. Now you get to be the judge. Michaela did a pretty good job, I think. I haven't. Episode hasn't come out yet. Comes out tonight, so I can't. I can't say if people even like this theme yet. I could re. Be recording this and people are like, never do this theme again. And then I'll crash out because I'll be like, it's already recorded. Because then what? Last time I did it too, I also had 40, 30. I don't know. I had a shit ton of coffee that day. No coffee today, but still. Crazy. So I'm excited for these ones.

[Lauren]

Okay, let's do it.

[Morgan]

Do some deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose. Hold at the top. Out slowly through your mouth. Beautiful.

[Lauren]

Okay. All right, I'm back. I'm in the game. I'm in the motherfucker. Let's go.

[Morgan]

Let's go.

[Lauren]

Okay, we're here.

[Morgan]

Let's dive in.

[Lauren]

Let's do it. Okay, so it can only go up from here.

[Morgan]

It's gonna be great. Okay. Kicking us off, getting a little light hearted tea. This one is coming from Aitah, 14 days old. It is titled Am I the for bringing a much older guy to Easter dinner after my dad left my mom for someone close to my age.

[Lauren]

Ooh.

[Morgan]

I, 18, female, moved out at 15 when I got into a boarding school abroad. When I was 12, my dad, 45 male, cheated on my mom, 43 female, with a woman, 26 female, who was 20 at the time.

[Lauren]

Oh, gosh.

[Morgan]

They ended up divorcing and he's been with her ever since. She's only a few years older than me, and for the past few years, she's been at every family holiday. She's clearly only after his money, but he's too stupid and stubborn to understand. This year for Easter, I flew back home and asked a friend of mine, 38 male, to come with me and pretend to be my boyfriend just for a few days at my home. After dinner, my dad pulled me aside and told me he felt uncomfortable with the situation. I told him I didn't do anything wrong and that after him, love has no age. He told me that I ruined everyone's Easter by being selfish and bringing someone his age to dinner. I flew back to school, but now I'm getting messages from a few relatives saying I should apologize to my dad and break up with my boyfriend. I haven't responded. I don't think I'm in the wrong because he's made my life uncomfortable since the moment he cheated on my mom. Am I the asshole?

[Lauren]

Wait, did I hear you right? Is this the pot calling the kettle black?

[Morgan]

It would appear that way. It certainly would appear that way. I'm trying to figure out math on this age gap too. So like op, 18 friend, she brought home 38, 20 year age gap there. Okay, 38. Dad's 45, 7 year age difference. Okay. Op is 18, girlfriend's 26. 8 year age difference looks very similar to me. Yeah, it's the same age gap, basically. So yeah, it's very pot, kettle, both black.

[Lauren]

Mm.

[Morgan]

I think this is honestly a petty revenge that I like.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like they're not actually dating. You just invited your friend back with you. Interesting age gap for a friend. But I've also, I've kind of been there in high school where like I was 18 working at Perkins and I was friends with a 30 year old.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I mean my mom's group that all goes ice plunging. They're all, they're all different ages and they're all friends, like all different ages. There's like, there's kids there and then I mean my mom.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it's more like interest based friendship.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And my mom even like became actually really good friends with a girl who's only like a couple years older than me and she loves that. Yeah. So it's, it's, it happens.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I love this.

[Lauren]

But I am like a little bit curious about this 38 year old's intentions. Like that does make me a little nervous because I don't know, guy, girl, like.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it's something to maybe remark about a little bit.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Was dad's crash out justified? No. No, I don't think so. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. And I think you made an excellent statement this way you could even tell people we tend to copy our parents behavior. Quote, I learned by watching you. I just see the waitress yelling at Dennis after banging Frank. I don't know what that's in reference to. I would message all those people back asking, Quote, why is an age gap okay for dad, but with me it's a problem.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Next comment down. Quote, if I told you guys he's married, would it be okay? Oh wow. Next comment down. I was talking with stepmom and she was telling me how great it was being with an older guy.

[Lauren]

You could really fuck with him.

[Morgan]

Fuck with him.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I don't know, I feel like if you have a lot of resentment, it might bring some satisfaction. Is it the healthiest? Probably not. But sometimes, sometimes it does feel good to be a little bad. Yeah, it's okay. Edit. Seems like many think this is a lie. Lol. I would too, but I met my friend in book club when I moved to the us. I'm from Europe and he's been a great father figure to me. To be honest, when I had no friends there, he would buy me dinner and actually spend time with me. And he's recently divorced from his high school sweetheart, so he would have spent Easter alone. Anyways, therefore decided to take him with and show him around for reference. I didn't say half of the bad things my dad did or the whole story. It would have been too long. But trust me, cheating isn't the only thing he did. All caps. I know this is immature people. I know it's extremely immature of me, but I wanted to show him how it feels. Thanks a lot for the advice everyone. I'll update for Christmas. Lol. I love you. Oh my gosh, that's so just satisfying for me. It's funny.

[Lauren]

It is funny.

[Morgan]

It's so funny when you're not involved. Okay, moving on to story number two. Trigger warning on this one, friends. It does contain talks of a physical altercation and I feel like it could be triggering for those that have dealt with any physical attacks or abuse. So so proceed with caution on this one. Markers are in the description this is 16 days old now coming from Aitah. It is titled Am I the asshole for refusing to apologize for slapping my boyfriend when he smashed our birthday cake in my face? Oh my female, 34, boyfriend Charles, male 38 and I celebrate our birthdays together this year. I contributed a small private room at a restaurant and we invited 11 people. Four of them are my local friends, the rest are his family members. I wanted to celebrate a new achievement in my career and thought it would be great to just splurge a little and get some delicious food so we had access to the menu, drinks and our cake. I'd agreed to pay for half of the food aside from having rented the small space by myself, the space was paid for in advance. The food at the end. As in any restaurant, we had issues last year because I felt he was doing low effort things while I always did my best to give him a nice birthday celebration. We have an income gap, but it wasn't even about money. I was making less money last year and I still made things work for him. So this year he took care of inviting people, paid for the cake, and got me a spice rack as a present which I loved. I made myself pretty, got my eyebrows and eyelashes done, and had my hair done too. We were told to pose and pretend to blow out the candles because I didn't want to blow germs all over our cake. Then we each had a picture alone with the cake. When it was my turn. I was holding the cake when he pushed my face towards the cake so I tried to fight it. His family started cheering and he arched over my body and forced me to bend over until my face smashed the cake cake. My friends tried to get him off me and he resorted to plastering Cake and frosting on my hair. I don't need to describe the mess because I'll never be able to end this post, but I ended up slapping him when he attempted to do it again.

[Lauren]

Huh? Again.

[Morgan]

His mother got up and she got into an argument with one of my guests. I had to cross the main floor with cake all over my face to use the restroom. When I looked in the mirror, I had cake on my neck and my blouse had red and blue coloring that didn't come off. I had to wash my face and got my hair in a bun because it looked way less messy that way. When I came back, his family were all long faces. I told him what he did was unacceptable and he said it was just a joke, that everyone has done that for ages and that me slapping him just ruined my image in front of his family. I started crying and gathered all of my stuff to leave. I notified him that he should pay for himself and his guests. My friends insisted on paying for their own food, but I refused and we ended the night right there. My friends wanted to treat me to having dinner elsewhere, but I wasn't comfortable with my appearance. They ended up sending me the money that I spent, and that broke my heart. Charles had to pay for half of the remaining bill and got charged a cleaning fee. I still love him, but I'm clear that I'll never be able to forgive him. We talked about it and I ended things. He's convinced that I never loved him. He acknowledged what he did was wrong, but is adamant that his family hates me for slapping him and that it's my fault. I told him that he ruined not only our birthday, but also my way to celebrate my career milestone. I've worked very hard to get where I am and that his behavior showed me what my future would look like and that. I'm sorry to say it, but he was so aggressive and so focused on making his family laugh at my expense that I just realized he's not good enough and that I've lost my confidence to be seen with him in public because I don't know what else he will pull out of his ass.

[Lauren]

Literally.

[Morgan]

He says he paid for that cake, that he's not saying that it was okay to smash it, but it's not like I paid for everything. He wanted me to apologize to his mom.

[Lauren]

No.

[Morgan]

But I refused.

[Lauren]

Good.

[Morgan]

Important. I'm not proud of my reaction. We've never had any physical altercations. He says his mother feels humiliated because of what I did and that she has been struggling with mild Depression. For years, I didn't know, and I came off as violent.

[Lauren]

He came off as violent. He forced it. Like, from the sounds of it, she was resisting and he was still forcing. That is violent. That's not okay. A slap is absolutely reasonable self defense, literally.

[Morgan]

Am I the asshole for refusing? I already blocked him.

[Lauren]

Actually, you do owe the mom an apology. You should look at her and say, I'm sorry that you raised a shitty son.

[Morgan]

I would. I'd call and be like, I'm so sorry you have to live with the burden of this being your son.

[Lauren]

It's just, you know, here's the thing. If this is where I always get annoyed because if it was just the cake thing and he was extremely sorry right after and said, I. It's something I've seen other people do. I've seen it in movies. I thought it would be so funny. I thought you would be laughing. I thought we got all the photos. If he came like that, we would have a case, Right? We could like, okay, it was a mistake. It was. He was trying to be fun. But the fact that he's like, you ruined this party by slapping me and my. My family hates you. You owe them an apology. Like, all of that, that's the type of stuff that really bothers me. And that's the part that shows the character that he lacks.

[Morgan]

Yeah, well. And he's like, well, you didn't pay for everything. She paid for that entire room by herself. Yeah, and I'm sure her credit card was on file. If he would have just walked out after smashing that cake all over that damage bill, that cleaning bill, whatever it was, would have gone on her card. Like, don't act like, oh, I had to pay for the cake and the cleaning. You caused the issue for the cleaning.

[Lauren]

And this honestly brings to another topic, too. I actually just posted on my story today, the fact that there's kids that are running through fences and it's like a TikTok trend.

[Morgan]

What?

[Lauren]

Yeah, but honestly, there's a lot of trends and TikTok things that are going around that are really just like, concerning. When I was a kid, I had my neighbor yell at me for standing on his grass when I was waiting at the bus stop. Like, that's the type of stuff where I'm like, okay, like old man. Like, let. Let us kids, like, be kids and have fun, right? And here we have kids that are just like, slamming through fences, causing thousands of dollars to people's personal property.

[Morgan]

Cars.

[Lauren]

No, they're just ramming their bodies through. They're trying to do like the cool Kool Aid man thing.

[Morgan]

Through metal fences.

[Lauren]

No, through like wood fences. And they all just charge at the same time, but it's like that's someone's personal property that they now to take care of. And like, if they have a dog, then they can't even let their dog out without, you know, it's just like, I feel like there's so much, like, what's happening in consideration that's going on with like, people these especially, like, maybe they didn't work in the service industry, but, like, this cake thing is just bringing me to the point where I'm just like, people don't even think about the fact that there's people who have to clean that up and they have a job that doesn't, doesn't.

[Morgan]

They're not include that.

[Lauren]

It doesn't include that. And now they have to do that. And it's just, it's really inconsiderate in my opinion. And yeah, sure, it may be fun and funny to you, but like, be considerate of the fact that, like, if you're not willing to clean it up, if you're going to be that messy and not clean up yourself, then that's, that's just not cool. So all around, I don't, I, I just don't think that this was a, a funny, fun thing to do. Unless.

[Morgan]

No, it's not.

[Lauren]

Unless everyone was on board and they were like, asked the restaurant beforehand and said let's. And. And if.

[Morgan]

Is this ever going to be funny?

[Lauren]

Well, you know, some people have relationships like that and if there is like a chance, if you know that your partner is 100% would think this is hilarious, then like, and that's you, your guys's thing, whatever. Do you guys. But then you have to like, call the restaurant beforehand, let them know like that and ask them.

[Morgan]

A normal restaurant's gonna say no.

[Lauren]

I know.

[Morgan]

But there's what world? Like, in what world? The amount of videos I've seen of brides getting cake smashed and like, same. Oh my God. I saw this one little couple from Utah and I say little because they're like, I think she literally got married the day she turned 18. And the Madison Humphrey girl I follow on Instagram or TikTok is hilarious. She's been like, parodying them because they got married and then went to like a sip and sips or something. I don't know. They got soda.

[Lauren]

Sip and sips some more sip sips.

[Morgan]

I don't know. It's a Utah thing. Clearly. I'm not up on the trends there. But he like literally like tried to smash the cake and then she runs after him. I'm just like, you are too young to be married. And I can tell based on this video, it's terrible. No, terrible.

[Lauren]

That. And again, I, that's the case most of the time that it's just, it's a non starter. Do not do that.

[Morgan]

Don't do it.

[Lauren]

I'm just saying that there are like, I've watched a video of people.

[Morgan]

I want someone to comment. I want someone to chime in and say, I would like to be smashed with cake. And it's not at a Steve Aoki concert. It's at your birthday or your wedding. But I want a hand raise.

[Lauren]

But I'm saying that that is an example. There is probably someone out there who is like, I want to get a cake. Smash my face just like Steve Aoki style. We need to call the venue at the wedding to make sure that it like that's okay. What I'm. That's, that probably happened comment.

[Morgan]

I need to see it. There's.

[Lauren]

Okay. I have seen crazy things. I'm not saying it's the norm. I'm saying that that is not out of the ordinary. I want or like not out of the woman.

[Morgan]

I want a woman or anyone who got their eyebrows done, got their lashes done and got their hair done. I want them after doing all of that.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I want them to say, yes, please.

[Lauren]

Smash me with your K. But that is not. That's not what I'm saying. Obviously in this situation, it's a no brainer. That is like a.

[Morgan]

But that's like a lot of these brides.

[Lauren]

I know, but I'm saying that bridal makeup's expensive. I'm telling you that out. If this wasn't the situation, if you knew your partner, I'm saying that's the only exception.

[Morgan]

Would you, would you be down?

[Lauren]

No, you're not getting it. I'm just saying that there are people.

[Morgan]

Out there and I want to meet them.

[Lauren]

There's somebody out there. I can assure you I want to meet you.

[Morgan]

Put your hand up in the comments. Let's. Let's become on a first name basis.

[Lauren]

But you're acting like we're not totally on the same page with this story. We are on the same page with this story.

[Morgan]

I know we are. I'm just flabbergasted by anyone's rationale that like I'm going to smash her face in this cake and it's going to Go over. Well, I would if he wanted to. Like cake Smash. I would rather see him hold the cake room up to his face and motorboat it. I would get a giggle out of that.

[Lauren]

No, I'd be pissed. I want to eat the cake. You just ruined the cake.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Lauren]

God.

[Morgan]

Especially if it's a good cake.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

I had some bad dry ass cake lately, though.

[Lauren]

I'm sorry. It was disgusting when you froze.

[Morgan]

No, that one's incredible.

[Lauren]

Okay, cool clues.

[Morgan]

When we premiered our podcast, they got us a cake, me and Kaylin with our faces on it. Unreal. Unreal. I think it's from, like, Hanson's Bakery, which is, like, bougie.

[Lauren]

It's.

[Morgan]

It's so good, it's going to live in my freezer for another two years.

[Lauren]

Speaking of, what are the Hansen brothers up to? I feel like I haven't heard that name in a long time.

[Morgan]

Who are they?

[Lauren]

The Hansen brothers?

[Morgan]

I thought they were just cake bakers.

[Lauren]

Mm, bop bop bop, M bop yeah, yeah, yeah, M bop.

[Morgan]

Unfamiliar with that. I've heard this song, but I don't. I don't, like, know them.

[Lauren]

I'm. I'm shook anyways.

[Morgan]

Okay, let's get into the comments on this one. Not the asshole. Justifiable. Crash out. Self defense. Swing away queen.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Top comment. His mother feels humiliated. You came off violent. All caps. Did she not see what he did to you? And then they quote what Opie says. When it was my turn, I was holding the cake. When he pushed my face towards the cake, I tried to fight it. His family started cheering, and he arched over my body and forced me to bend until my face smashed into the cake. How does one do this to their future spouse and then act like it was nothing but fun times? This. At my wedding, my husband's family were egging him on to shove cake in my face. And prior to the wedding, I sat him down and told him I paid thousands for the dress, hundreds for my hair and makeup, and if he pushed cake into my face, it would forever taint our wedding day for me because it's not funny. It's embarrassing and cruel.

[Lauren]

It's just not a good joke.

[Morgan]

It's. Honestly, it feels like a form of dominance.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, it feels like a fuck you. And I'm gonna show you what I think of you. And it's taking your cute little face and smashing it into a cake because that's, like. It honestly feels like the most big, big, bigly big ass way to. To just assert dominance over someone and just essentially be like you are beneath me. I can control you. I can overpower you. And I will embarrass you. This is all at your expense. My enjoyment, my laughter is at your expense. And that if you are with someone like that, run.

[Lauren]

That's. Whenever he said to her, that was another thing that pissed me off. When he's like, you never even loved me. It's like, I mean, she's probably wondering if you ever even loved and respected her because of what you did. Like, you clearly don't know her at all. If you thought that she would enjoy that, and then the fact that she didn't enjoy that and reacted, you made it her fault then. Now. Now you just suck. So I. Yeah. Goodbye.

[Morgan]

Good fucking.

[Lauren]

Goodbye. Riddance.

[Morgan]

Goodbye. I'm gonna go see if there's any other.

[Lauren]

You know. I was actually at a birthday party where her friends, her best friends did this to her. And it was literally. It went down exactly like, well, she didn't slap them, but she was very upset. She had, like, such a cute outfit on and it was so expensive.

[Morgan]

You saw this in person?

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Oh, if I ever see this in person, I'm rushing that dude. I will tackle him like a rhino girl.

[Lauren]

One of it was, like, one of her best friends.

[Morgan]

Oh, that's not your best friend. That's a hater.

[Lauren]

I know, right? But they're still friends. I know.

[Morgan]

Diabolical.

[Lauren]

I know. Everyone was pissed. Everyone was mad. We, like, went to the bathroom and helped her try to clean up. But, like, yeah, exactly this. I mean, it was her birthday, so hair, brand new outfit, like, makeup, everything. And just cake all over the entire thing. And it was a day party too, so they were planning on still going out throughout the night.

[Morgan]

Sabotage.

[Lauren]

Yeah, it was reckless. Didn't go down well. Not a good idea.

[Morgan]

Guys don't have partners like that. Don't have friends like that to still be friends after that. Diabolical. We don't have any updates from op, Only a couple comments. She thanked someone for sharing a Darvo reference, which is just like what abusers will. Will do after an incident. And for those unfamiliar with Darvo, Darvo is an acronym that stands for Deny, attacked, reverse victim and Offender. It's a manipulation tactic used by perpetrators of abuse to deflect blame and avoid accountability.

[Lauren]

I would just also like to say too, that, like, you should never be forcing anyone's head in anything anywhere. Like that, to me, is really concerning. And I just. I can't even think of one thing that would be okay for you to force your head or Force someone else's head into, like, nothing, you know? So if he would have put the cake towards her, which still is not okay. It's like the fact that he forced her head into it makes me feel like he. It's another level.

[Morgan]

It is. And there's one last comment from MOP where OP is like, I have asthma. Like, I was panicking because I. I. Oh, God. Was like, my nose. Yeah, it's gonna get blocked. So this was a long struggle.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And it's messed up.

[Morgan]

Very, very just up. But moving along to our next story.

[Lauren]

I could talk about cake all day.

[Morgan]

I could, too. I'm hungry.

[Lauren]

I had a cookie right before coming here. Oh, yum.

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Smalls. Here's the thing. Most cat food has questionable ingredients in it, but Smalls does things differently. Smalls cat food is protein packed, preservative free, and made with ingredients you would find in your fridge. And let me tell you, all of the cats that I've given Smalls to have loved it. So give your cat the food they deserve, head to smalls.com and for a limited time only, get the 35% off plus an additional 50% off your first order by using our code. THT.

[Lauren]

I feel like who Somebody said recently that they feel like headphones are podcasters. Way to, like, feel cool or something.

[Morgan]

They don't make me feel cool at all. I'll tell you that right now.

[Lauren]

Who said that? I feel like it's only Justin, but. But it couldn't be because he loves his headphones.

[Morgan]

He loves his headphones.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It literally just helps me read better.

[Lauren]

It helps me to stay in this world, I guess, because it sounds different.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And it kind of puts me in this headspace. Yeah.

[Morgan]

To be ready. Well, you can also hear each other so well. It's so crazy because it's like, I know you're over there, but it's really clear. It's so crazy. Yeah. Everyone needs to experience it once.

[Lauren]

It is nice. And then even, like, I can hear myself, but it's not in a way that's distracting or echoey. It just. I also feel like I can hear myself clearer.

[Morgan]

This next story involves something that's very clear. This is coming from a I T, A H, 25 days old. It is titled Am I the asshole for getting my co worker fired for his repeated visible dick print? I, 19, female, am interning part time and we all dress casually. I was alone in a room at my office one morning and my coworker Josh, late 20s male came and started chatting with me. When I turned to face him, I could clearly see the outline of his erection. He was wearing thin sweatpants, and they left nothing to the imagination. Whoa. I didn't say anything after he left. I just went back to work. I ignored it that first time, but it kept happening. Josh would come alone to chat, and each time he was visibly hard, and I could see it through his flimsy shorts or sweatpants or thin dress pants. Like, he didn't even act embarrassed or try to hide it. He would just stand there like it's nothing. He acts normal around everyone else. And this hasn't happened any other time I've seen him. Not with others around. Oh, just when it's only us.

[Lauren]

I don't like that.

[Morgan]

I didn't bring it up to anyone yet. I just didn't want to appear dramatic and didn't want to make myself a target. Then he started making comments. Quote, it's hot out. I had to wear these shorts today. One day, Josh came over and he asked me to come to his apartment nearby over lunch. I politely declined, and as he was leaving, he said, quote, all right, I've got to go to the bathroom to take care of something. See you around. While glancing down.

[Lauren]

Ew, I hate this.

[Morgan]

He clearly had an erection, and the outline was clear.

[Lauren]

Gross. Who does this? It's like a fetish that he's forcing on her.

[Morgan]

That was it for me. I went to HR and reported everything.

[Lauren]

Good.

[Morgan]

HR put Josh under review, and he ended up being fired with cause. Now some of my co workers are icing me out. One of my co workers sarcastically muttered out, quote, I made sure to wear proper pants today. Didn't want anyone to get any ideas.

[Lauren]

Oh, wow.

[Morgan]

While I was having lunch near some of them, and they laughed. My boss has been talking to me less, and I feel alienated. I just wanted Josh to stop. Am I the asshole here?

[Lauren]

No. And the company sounds like they have a bunch of horrible people.

[Morgan]

Terrible, terrible company culture. Not the asshole. Honestly, I would start documenting other people's comments because retaliation is. Is not okay.

[Lauren]

No, it's. It's definitely grounds for being fired as well. That type of.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And also, like, you're interning, like, this is the start of your career where you're supposed to be getting, like, really good experience. And like, if this were to then put a stain on your resume or whatever going forward, like, that's unacceptable. Like, I would. I would start really documenting everything. And if they don't take it seriously, you could potentially Have a lawsuit on your hands. That's so inappropriate.

[Lauren]

The thing that's frustrating, too, is she's saying that he didn't show this or do this around anyone else either. So it's like, so these other people might not know and, like, might not.

[Morgan]

Isn't that so sad?

[Lauren]

It is sad. That's what bothers me. And. Because it's like him saying. And looking down at himself and saying, I need to go to the bathroom and take care of something. Like, that is. That's not with. There's no question that that's.

[Morgan]

He asked her to come to his apartment over lunch. Would she have made it back? Josh is giving. Honestly, serial killer. I know that might be a little.

[Lauren]

You might be mixing in your other podcast.

[Morgan]

Dude. People start. These dudes that start. They get. They start by being really freaking weird.

[Lauren]

I'm really freaked out about the fact that they're saying there is a serial killer in North Hollyw.

[Morgan]

I know, I know. And then the news, like, really isn't talking about it.

[Lauren]

Why do you think that is? Just not to create panic.

[Morgan]

I don't know. Like, I really don't know. But it's literally, like, I saw one of the, like, TikToks on it, and everyone was like, I've literally been calling the cops, reporting someone running on my building for months. This is the building next door to me where this person got killed. Like, apparently, they've been, like, running on the roof.

[Lauren]

Messed up.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Oh, God. And, you know, I have such, like, nighttime terror fears. I. And did you see the video of the guy who kept banging on the.

[Morgan]

Girl'S door and then looked in her mail slot?

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Did you order the massage?

[Lauren]

No, he didn't say that. He goes, it was so obviously sketchy. I wonder if she had one of those cameras that's on the inside. Because I can't believe somebody would be so bold to do this in front of a ring camera on the outside. Because he.

[Morgan]

We might have seen different videos. I saw one where this guy went up to someone's house that was a big dog was barking.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah. He. So he goes on to say, you ordered a massage.

[Lauren]

I'm just saying that I can't believe he was so bold to do that in front of the camera with a huge ass dog. But I'm wondering if her camera was on the. You know how they have cameras that can be from the inside of your window now so that you can. So they can't take the ring camera off from the outside.

[Morgan]

Smart.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And so.

[Morgan]

Because he Was cover it.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Because he was so bold about it. And. And you could see his rings on his hand. Did you see those rings on his hand?

[Morgan]

Like, spiked ass.

[Lauren]

They had like spiked, huge rings. Like, and. And when he was knocking on the door, he was holding down like button thing on her door. Whatever. It's the door handle. So that the minute she would open it, he would push through. Literally never open your door unless you know who's out there. Truly.

[Morgan]

Because I. I don't. I literally will watch. Like, people, my house is lit up like a Christmas tree when it comes to cameras. And I get a notification the minute someone steps onto my curb and it follows them. The camera tracks them to the front door. And then I have a doorbell camera.

[Lauren]

And you.

[Morgan]

And I sit there and I watch it. Yeah. And I don't go to the door.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Oh, God. You guys, this was funny because Morgan and Justin weren't home or Morgan was sleeping. Justin wasn't there. And I was trying to change into sweatpants really quickly. And she has a camera in her kitchen, so I turned cameras everywhere. So I turned the camera around so that I could quickly, like, put my sweatpants on.

[Morgan]

Just whatever.

[Lauren]

And then Morgan comes out and I was like, oh, sorry, I need to turn this back. Because it turns and she goes, oh, no, no, it follows. Had already turned around and looked back at you again. I was like, oh, no.

[Morgan]

It's literally like a 360 spin camera.

[Lauren]

But I'm just laughing at me. Just turning it away from me. And then I start changing. It just goes right back. It's like, nope, we're gonna watch you. But yeah, it's fine. Everything's fine.

[Morgan]

Yeah, this one's not fine though. I'm. I'm curious. Like, there's no comments from OP that I can see on the post. OP has since deleted their account, obviously. Probably not getting an update on this one. But, like, if anyone out there is in this situation, always go to hr. Like, this is not treatment you need to put up with. This is sexual harassment. This is terrible. And honestly, I like wonder what company policy is. Like, can you have like a little camera at your desk just recording everything? Because from a co worker doing weird like this to another one saying you said some to them. And it's like, no, I got on tape. I wish you could have cameras on your job and just like be recording.

[Lauren]

Honestly, it's probably going to be like that eventually one day. Everyone has body cams. Yeah. When they're at work.

[Morgan]

Is that giving severance?

[Lauren]

It's given something weird. Wait, have you seen Severance?

[Morgan]

No.

[Lauren]

Okay. I. That. I was like, that's not really what Severance is about.

[Morgan]

I have no idea what it's about. I just started watching the Last of Us. I am hooked up, but holy shit, does that show scare me.

[Lauren]

Is it like the first season, or are you on the second one?

[Morgan]

No, I'm on season one.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Episode two.

[Lauren]

I watched the first season. I don't.

[Morgan]

You did?

[Lauren]

Oh, yeah, yeah, when it came out.

[Morgan]

That's shocking because that show is scary.

[Lauren]

I know, but I'm. I'm like, okay with, like, world ending, zombie type of movies.

[Morgan]

It's Jump Scare City.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Yeah. But it's. It's fine. I just don't know if I want to watch the second season because, like, I heard something happens that I don't want to have happen.

[Morgan]

Don't tell me. Top comment on this one. Just don't. Don't imply anything. I don't know. I don't. I actually don't want spoilers for once. It's like a first. Feels wrong. Weird. Top comment on this one. Sounds 100% intentional. Gross behavior. Absolutely not. The asshole dudes a menace. Next comment down. Guys learn how to hide their erections in junior high. He was definitely wanting you to notice. If your co workers know exactly why he was fired, they are the assholes. The co workers are also playing with fire, says the next comment. They know why Jocko was let go and are continuing to bring it up for laughs and make OP uncomfortable. That workplace needs a shake up. Next comment down. Thank you. This commenter. This could certainly be considered retaliation, especially if there's management involved. They need to know it's not okay, and they can get in just as much trouble as Josh did. OP might need to make another trip to hr. That's what I'm saying. Next comment down. She needs to speak to an employment lawyer. It was basically sexual harassment from Josh and retaliation from other co workers after he got canned. Mm, I think so. Moving along to our next one. Okay, this next one is coming from Aitah. Four days old, titled Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend after he skinny dipped in our pool with my sister at home. Hello, Reddit. My boyfriend, 31, male, was home with my sister, 19, female, while I was out. And I got home and my sister was locked in the guest room, and she told me she had something to tell me.

[Lauren]

What, locked in there?

[Morgan]

She had been staying over for a couple of days. She said that she looked outside her room window and saw my boyfriend swimming naked in our backyard pool. And she saw everything. She said that later she was in the kitchen and he walked in and he wasn't wearing anything and she could see his junk. And he stopped and said hi and waved. And she was shocked.

[Lauren]

Oh my God. God.

[Morgan]

And he walked by her before going to his room to grab some clothes. And then walked naked through the hallway to the shower and had a long shower.

[Lauren]

Why this should be called the creepy wiener episode.

[Morgan]

She said she was frozen and embarrassed. She then went to her room and locked herself in until I got home. I confronted my boyfriend and he just said that he felt like skinny dipping because it was hot out and that he lives there so he thought it was fine. It's my house and he's living with me. And I told him he's a fucking creep. He didn't even apologize to my sister when she saw him before. I broke up with him on the spot and told him to get the fuck out. He then told me that he can apologize now and not to overreact. But I told him we are done, he wouldn't leave immediately. And I screamed in his face that I'll call my sister's boyfriend over and we'll see what he does to him when he hears what happened. And so he left. I made my sister promise me that the next time she feels uncomfortable to tell me or her boyfriend or someone else. Right away I told his friend and word spread. And now everyone thinks he's a fucking weirdo. And they stopped talking to him and he blew up my phone. I just texted him that his actions have consequences. I told my sister's boyfriend and he threatened my ex saying he better not go near me or my sister or he'd find out. Am I the asshole?

[Lauren]

No.

[Morgan]

No.

[Lauren]

Definitely not. I don't even find this a crash out.

[Morgan]

This is just like justifiable.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Screaming in someone's face. Get the out of my house. It's your house. He was walking around nude. I am absolutely perplexed. What gave him the idea to go swim naked with a 19 year old sister of your girlfriend that you're living at her house living with? What gives you that idea again? It feels like a little pervert hoping. Oh, I walked to the pool naked and she saw me and then we fucked.

[Lauren]

Pervert. You Honestly that he probably. It is probably a part of his porn routine that he walks. Totally a fantasy.

[Morgan]

It's a fantasy.

[Lauren]

It's so creepy. It's so not okay. How did. Did Opie say how long they Were together.

[Morgan]

I don't know.

[Lauren]

I'm just wondering if this is, like, a newer person or if this, like, came out of, like, left field and they're like, we. I would have never thought that you'd be like this. Because, you know, some people, like, what if that was his routine when they lived together alone? Like, I'm saying, like, is it that and then. Or is he actually just that much of an absolute creep?

[Morgan]

I think he's a creep because obviously he's a creep. But, like, even if that was your.

[Lauren]

Routine, you wouldn't do that when you have company.

[Morgan]

Or like, oh, you forget companies here.

[Lauren]

Then you'd apologize.

[Morgan]

You don't just walk into the kitchen.

[Lauren]

Like, yeah, so exactly.

[Morgan]

You'd be like, oh, my God, I'm so. Oh, I'm. I'm so sorry. And then it's like he walked in, said, hi, dick out. Then goes and grabs a towel and walks back through the kitchen.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Still dick out. Yeah. To go shower.

[Lauren]

So weird.

[Morgan]

I literally. I don't know why the word pervert is just, like, coming up a lot today.

[Lauren]

Because they are all perverts. It's also giving Russell Brand in forgetting Sarah Marshall.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's kind of that same weird energy.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But I'm just gonna give everyone the formal definition because I did. I wanted to make sure I'm using it in the right context. Context. Pervert. A person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable. Similar deviant. Sexual deviant.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah, he's. He's giving screws loose for sure. Poor girl locked herself in the room because she was probably scared he was going to come in there.

[Lauren]

Yeah. When you first said that, I thought that he did lock her in there, and I was like, extra concerned, extra scared. But no, I. I'm glad she locked herself in there and was like, get away from me.

[Morgan]

I feel like people need to start stockpiling tasers.

[Lauren]

Honestly. I have one and I don't know where it is right now, and I. I should buy many so that they're just all over the place. Yeah, I really want to try it on someone.

[Morgan]

Do you remember the flashlight taser that Alex had in college?

[Lauren]

No.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. It looks like just a big ass, like. Like a cop flashlight almost. But the end, like right at the casing around the light is a taser. It's so cool. Really?

[Lauren]

I have.

[Morgan]

Some of the guys used to tase themselves in college.

[Lauren]

I have this, like, I don't. There's a lot of things from college that I Feel like I just kind of, like, let drift away.

[Morgan]

My memory is slipping. I'm with you.

[Lauren]

But I also. This is really weird, but, like, I had lost my phone towards the end of college, and I didn't get a new one for a long time. I know. That's crazy.

[Morgan]

You went months, like, literally half a year. You went so long. I would have to, like, drive over to Lauren's house and, like, knock on her window.

[Lauren]

Yeah, she did.

[Morgan]

She'd literally be like, often, Lauren, you're.

[Lauren]

Gonna hang out with me today. Get out here. But anyway, whenever I got a new phone, I didn't back it up to anything. So I got a new phone right before leaving to California. And all of my photos are starting in California. California. And so it's just like. And I get memories every single year of photos from like, five years ago or whatever it is. But, like, I don't get memories from before that. And so I feel like I just have started to kind of forget. Forget. It's a weird phenomenon.

[Morgan]

I know. It's so interesting. Our memories. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. It was more than just skinny dipping. Since he walked through the house naked, even when he saw your sister, he didn't cover up or apologize. He knew exactly what he was doing. Not the asshole. This wasn't just poor judgment. It was deliberate, creepy, and disrespectful. You did the right thing kicking him out. Don't forget he stopped on his way to his room to greet her. Yeah. Yeah, he definitely planned this.

[Lauren]

Yeah. So messed up.

[Morgan]

He's only angry because not only did it not work the way he wanted to, but Op rightfully broke up with him and no one else wants to be around him now.

[Lauren]

And I also don't care that it's legally an adult, like a 19 year old is a child.

[Morgan]

It's also your girlfriend's little sister. Yeah, have some decorum class. There is one comment I can see that Op responds to. Here. I can't search out anymore because account has been deleted. But someone goes. Not the. Doesn't sound like he skinny dips. Usually too much of a coincidence. The first time he felt like skinny dipping, your teenage sister was home and you weren't. Yeah, the pool could be accidental, but the walking around in the house in front of her. Pervert. Yep, that's what they say. OP responds. He barely even uses our pool. And I've legit never seen him skinny dipping before.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God, that's so much worse.

[Morgan]

And he told me he did it before. I just didn't see it and wasn't there.

[Lauren]

Liar.

[Morgan]

And I don't believe him. And I told him to get the fuck out.

[Lauren]

Good.

[Morgan]

This comment, he was obviously trying to live out a porn fantasy scene.

[Lauren]

Mm.

[Morgan]

100%.

[Lauren]

Hate him.

[Morgan]

Hate him.

[Lauren]

Why do so many people suck?

[Morgan]

I don't know if it's gonna get any better.

[Lauren]

Ugh.

[Morgan]

Moving on to this next one.

[Lauren]

The wrongs we must write, the fights we must win, the future we must secure together for our nation. This is what's in front of us.

[Morgan]

This determines what's next for all of us. We are marines. We were made for this. At Sephora, we've got what you want because you're obsessed with your skin and we're obsessed with what it needs.

[Lauren]

Sephora has the best products to help you get beautiful, glowing, radiant skin with an extensive inclusive range of results driven.

[Morgan]

Formulas and in store beauty advisors to help you find exactly which are right for you. The best skin care is only at Sephora. Sephora for all your skin care.

[Lauren]

Do you ever just feel kind of like not totally yourself? Like you don't really know how you're presenting yourself to the public? Yeah. Like you don't know what's happened to you.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it's a scary time.

[Lauren]

Like you're speaking but you don't really know what's coming out or why it's coming out. And your body language feels like off. And you're like is it off or am I just thinking it's off?

[Morgan]

Yeah, I definitely have those days.

[Lauren]

Okay, cool. Often just curious, that's all.

[Morgan]

I feel like a lot of us do. Okay, this next one, trigger warning on this next one, friends. It does contain mentions of a not so healthy toxic relationship, kind of abusive. So if you can't handle that today, please skip to the next one. It is coming from a I t a h 23 hours old titled am I the asshole for telling my best friend her marriage is doomed at her bachelorette party and accidentally getting her wedding canceled? This weekend was a disaster. I, 27, female, have been best friends with Amy, 28, female, for years. She has been with this guy Jake for about three years and honestly, he is a walking red flag. He is super controlling, jealous and always checking her location. Once he called her nine times while we were just shopping at Target.

[Lauren]

Oh, okay, that's bad, bad.

[Morgan]

Amy keeps defending him saying he is just protective because he cares so much. Whatever. At her bachelorette party it was supposed to be a fun girls night but Jake kept blowing up her phone texts, FaceTimes asking where she was accusing her of acting single.

[Lauren]

Oh God.

[Morgan]

She kept leaving to call him back, crying and apologizing while the rest of us just sat there awkwardly. After about the fourth time she left the table, I just lost it. When she came back, I said loud enough for the whole table to hear, you are not marrying a husband. You are signing up for a lifetime of being babysat by a jealous man child. Amy started crying and ran out of the bar and half of the girls followed her. Later that night her mom called me drunk, thanking me love. Because apparently they have all been worried about Jake but did not know how to stop the wedding. Yeah, her mom told Amy if she goes through with the wedding, they will not pay for it. Now Amy has blocked Jake, moved out of their apartment and moved back into her parents house. But she has also blocked me for humiliating her.

[Lauren]

Oh please. Come on.

[Morgan]

Half of our friend group is saying I did the right thing. The other half is calling me jealous and toxic.

[Lauren]

Absolutely not.

[Morgan]

For blowing up her relationship right before the wedding. So am I the asshole?

[Lauren]

No. I mean sure. Could you have said it in a different way? That would have been less dramatic. In front of the entire friend group? Sure, but like you said, reasonable. Crash out. Sometimes it's hard with this. These type of things. Like sometimes it's hard to have these conversations when you are worried with your friends. And sometimes that moment just comes and comes over you and it was out of protection and care for the friend is what it sounds like to me. So yeah, yes, maybe you should have said it behind closed doors. Had that conversation. But she just saved you. She saved you, saved you. That sounds miserable.

[Morgan]

Also what OP said, like wasn't that even mean?

[Lauren]

No, it wasn't.

[Morgan]

I feel like you can be so much meaner.

[Lauren]

I.

[Morgan]

A jealous man child.

[Lauren]

No, I. I agree.

[Morgan]

Like she just said and jealous. Ma' am, this is a controlling, abusive.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Calling you nine times when you're at Target.

[Lauren]

Nuts.

[Morgan]

But sitting at a table with all of her girlfriends having some drinks, how is that acting single? You're just crazy.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You're not a healthy minded guy.

[Lauren]

No. You gotta get some help, buddy.

[Morgan]

That's not okay. If you are worried about your partner, anytime they go out to the store, to grocery shop, to be with a friend, to do this, to do that, you need to evaluate things and you need to get some help. That's not a healthy mindset. No, not okay. Not the asshole. I. Yeah, top comment. No good deed goes unpunished. You did the right thing. She was going to be in for A lifetime of misery. But that doesn't mean she's going to like you for it. I'm sorry. Hopefully she'll come around. But don't doubt yourself here. Opie responds. Thank you. It honestly helps hearing that. It sucks losing a friend, but deep down I know I would have hated myself more if I stayed quiet. I would, too. Well, you also would.

[Lauren]

The friendship would be. Would start to deteriorate regardless, because it's. It's really hard to stay friends with somebody who is dating someone that degree of whatever word. Fill in the blank. So your friendship would have deteriorated and you probably. You probably would have had to step away from it eventually over the years, like, because once they're married, it probably would just get worse. I don't. I don't know. But. So you did the right thing. She'll probably come around. It's just like, that is. That's a type of abuse. And so her brain is probably just not on the same, like, wavelength right now to understand that you were looking out for her and that you have her best interest right now. She's just in a lot of pain because she's been dealing with what. What you said, babysitting this person and constantly reflecting on herself as if she's doing something wrong. No matter what she does, she goes to Target and she's getting blown up. Nine phone calls and has to run and cry and try to appease him. Like, that is some, like, psychological damage that she's been going through for who knows how long. Yeah, I don't know how long they've been together, but clearly long enough to get. Yeah, clearly long enough to get married. So three years. So it's just like, I think that your friend will eventually kind of, like, come back around and one day we'll. Thank you. It's just. It just takes time. But I definitely agree, Op, you did the right thing. And yeah, that's absolutely.

[Morgan]

I honestly think too, like, I've seen a lot of comments on people's, like, Reddit posts in response to others being like, I had a friend who was with, like, a really bad person. I, you know, helped her anytime she needed it. I kind of had my last straw and I said, like, I can't support this anymore. Like, you deserve better. You should leave, blah, blah, blah. They ended up, like, leaving the husband, but they never reconnected as friends. And maybe she's embarrassed. Maybe she'll come around someday when she gets over that. But you still did the right thing. Like, yeah, your conscious con. Conscience can be clear. Tough Word.

[Lauren]

It is. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Tough word.

[Lauren]

Consciousness. Conscious. Conscience. Conscious. Cautious. There's a lot of variations going on in that I know. Sound.

[Morgan]

The English language is so hard.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like read. Read.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Spelled the same, looks the same.

[Lauren]

I feel like I said this on the last episode, but I. My favorite Friends moment is when Rachel's sister meets Phoebe and she calls her Emma and she goes, phoebe. And she goes, that's a funny sound.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. There's another story we had today. The Dick imprint guy reminded me of the boyfriend that Phoebe dated who always wore those loose basketball shorts. And he'd put his leg up and you'd just see it all. And the whole group started to be.

[Lauren]

Like, oh, my God. I forget which. I know what you're talking about. But I forget which guy that is.

[Morgan]

Love.

[Lauren]

Friends.

[Morgan]

It wasn't Gary. I don't know. Phoebe, you know, she. She had some guys. I don't know. We do have a couple comments from OP before moving along. OP does say. Honestly, I wish I would have handled it differently, but it just boiled over. Crashed out. But it worked. It worked. Watching her cry in the bathroom over some jealous texts while we were supposed to be celebrating her was too much. I probably should have said something way earlier, but I kept hoping she would see it herself. I know the way I did, it sucked. But I don't regret finally saying something.

[Lauren]

I get that.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And honestly, a lot of times people will say something and it still doesn't change. Like, it does take a lot of internal motivation.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And as we know, it can take a lot of different attempts to leave bad partners. So it's tough. It's a really rock and a hard place type position to be in. But, yeah. Just a lot of other comments from OP Just being like, I definitely need to apologize for how I said it. Even if I still believe it needed to be said. Just hoping she's willing to hear me out eventually. Sucks, losing a friend. But deep down I know I would have hated myself more if I stayed quiet. You're right. She probably needs space to grieve the future she thought she was going to have. I'm going to give her time and just hope she knows I'm still here when she's ready.

[Lauren]

Sounds like a good friend.

[Morgan]

Very good friend. We all. We all want friends like this. Tell us. Tell us when we're being goofy or maybe just have love blinders on or aren't seeing something super clearly. So it is.

[Lauren]

It can be so delicate, though. That's why it's. It's tough to know when. Because there's a lot of times where if you do come on too aggressively to your friend, then they end up cutting out the friend and staying with the partner.

[Morgan]

Yeah. So it does happen quite often.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And a lot of times people have to come to their own conclusion. So it's really, it's just really difficult when it comes to like love or abusive relationships. It's just, it's hard, really hard.

[Morgan]

But. Okay, moving on to our next one.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

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[Lauren]

At New Balance. We believe if you run, you're a runner, however you choose to do it. Because when you're not worried about doing things the right way, you're free to discover your way. And that's what running is all about. Run your [e-mail] running.

[Morgan]

Okay, this next one, it's coming from Aitah. One month old titled AM I the for Telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half. Anyways.

[Lauren]

I don't think what.

[Morgan]

My wife and I are extremely fortunate to have won a decent amount of money from the lotto recently. It wasn't the top prize, but it was enough to pay off our sizable mortgage and still have some leftover for vacations. The mortgage was by far our biggest weekly cost, and with that gone, we could both comfortably cut back hours at work to only school hours and spend some more time with our kids. This was always a daydream we spoke about when we bought lotto tickets. I assumed this is what we would both do when we got the money and paid off our house. Everything almost immediately turned bad. My wife started talking about how amazing it's going to be finally not having to work anymore. I was blindsided by this. Even with the mortgage gone, we would still have to work at least school hours to keep our current standard of living. And on my salary alone, things would be tight. I asked if she was serious and she said of course, it was her ticket and she gets to decide this is bullshit because we both bought lotto tickets before, and when we moved in together, we only bought one because it seemed like two was a waste of money. I tried to reason with her, say she could use some of the extra to take some unpaid leave here and there, but she needs to keep her job. When I said, quote, if I'm only working school hours, she absolutely flipped and started accusing me of being a gold digger and ruining this for her. How she deserved it after working so much of her life. Etc. I asked her for a pause because I was honestly afraid. She's never been like this before.

[Lauren]

Money makes people change.

[Morgan]

The next few days, we tried to have this conversation again, but she didn't budge an inch. And when she said, well, it doesn't matter now because I'm putting in my notice at work, I lost it and told her I'm not going through with this. If she's not going to share the winnings, which is under both of our names, I'll divorce her and get half through the house and therefore half the winnings Anyways, this started another screaming match where she continued to call me a gold digger. I'm absolutely exhausted and lost. I feel like my life has been replaced by an imposter. I would have preferred not winning if I knew this was going to happen. Am I the asshole?

[Lauren]

Okay, I don't know that much about these lottery tickets. You can put two names under them.

[Morgan]

No. So I think what they did is she accepted her winnings. Right. And put it into their joint account and then used that joint account to then pay off their mortgage. So their house is owned outright. Free. It's their house. And then whatever money is left is in the joint account, which therefore depends on the state and prenup and whatever. But, like, usually would be considered community property. Community property in the case of a divorce is then just split up. It's different than, like, if she would have had her own account, took that lottery winnings money and put it in an account that has solely her name on it. But if it's a joint account, it's marital asset now.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

From my understanding. Not a lawyer. Yeah, not a lawyer.

[Lauren]

I. Okay, so the story makes it sound like the wife is being an. But I'm also. I. I don't. For some reason, I feel like there's more details in this one. I don't.

[Morgan]

I don't know.

[Lauren]

I don't know.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I honestly, I will say I started this off very like, your wife won the lottery and you're threatening to divorce her to take half.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay. Weird. But then you get to the end. And for me, I honestly think you shouldn't have threatened divorce. I never, like, I'm not in the boat of that. I don't love that as a threat, but I understand where he's trying to come from.

[Lauren]

I think he's at.

[Morgan]

Though he might at this point, but he's at his wit's end.

[Lauren]

Like, yeah.

[Morgan]

You guys were a team. You would buy one lottery ticket as a family with like the understanding, like, hey, it's our ticket. Like, me and my dad do this all the time where we will buy tickets together. Like, he'll buy one round, I'll buy the next round with the agreement that, like, hey, if we win, we split it.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

That kind of sounds like what they were doing. So for then her turn around and be like, my ticket. You're a gold digger, right?

[Lauren]

No, that's. That's especially when what. When they had a thing where they would buy two tickets and then they decided to just do one. But that's why I'm saying I'm like, if there's some certain things missing. Like if this was actually. If they didn't have this type of dynamic and she just bought a ticket on her own, that would be different. Yeah. And like if I got one right now just on my way home and I won, then I, I wouldn't like expect my boyfriend to be like, oh.

[Morgan]

No, no, it'd be yours.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Morgan]

So if you're not married, you wouldn't put it in a joint account. You'd accept it into your own account.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Morgan]

It's not community property.

[Lauren]

Right. So. But the, the dynamic. But the dynamics of this story make it sound like she is the asshole.

[Morgan]

I. And I don't. I, I agree. Like, I, I think so. Because here's the thing. Like if you, if you get divorced and you get 50, 50 custody of your kids, it doesn't sound like the husband is making an insane amount of money where he would have to be like, like pay for alimony and she could still not work and she could be a stay at home mom and live off the alimony.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And spousal support payments. It sounds like if they got divorced, the lottery money would run out fairly quickly.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And she'd have to work anyways.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Morgan]

So why don't you act like a sane, rational person you were before the lottery and get back to your partnership where you could then go down to like, like part time hours.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And only work when your kids are in school and Then have a really, really great life. Invest the extra money you have.

[Lauren]

Like, right.

[Morgan]

What is not clicking in her head.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And then to call your husband a gold digger. Ma' am, you didn't have money before this.

[Lauren]

I know. It's so stupid. It's so dumb.

[Morgan]

It's like such a dumb.

[Lauren]

I'm pretty sure that he married you before this money, you freak. Like, I don't think that. What. But I mean, I. The, the whole like divorcing, like. Yeah, it's, it is. It sounds really extreme to like throw that out there. But like, if he's seen a different side of her that he doesn't feel like is who he married, then it is what it is. You know, it's like if he's like, I, this isn't the person I signed up to do life with. Because that's, that's the thing is that like our lives are ever changing. We're constantly growing and adapting and becoming different versions of ourself. And so I think if you are in a marriage and you guys are not like communicating and growing together and understanding each other and still on the same page, then yeah, people split. It's just.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that's the way cookie crumbles sometimes. Yeah. There's a lot of comments from OP If I tried to read them all, we would be here quite literally all day. A lot of people are asking like, why don't you just let her stay home and like be a stay at home mom and take care of that kind of stuff. Like, whatever.

[Lauren]

How old are the kids? Again?

[Morgan]

I don't know if OP mentioned how old the kids are.

[Lauren]

So stay at home wife.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean, they're in school, they're school age kids. But Opie says the biggest pain point in our marriage is her avoidance of doing housework. A lot of it falls to me and is partly the reason why I would never support her not working. Other than that we've never had any issues. She's been a great mother. That's why I'm so shocked about all of this. So someone goes and says, money changes people and usually for the bad. It sucks that you are going through this. You are not the asshole. And OP goes, it doesn't feel like she's changed. So much has been replaced.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

It fucking sucks.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Someone goes, nah, dude, this was just below the surface and it's her true self. There is no changing that sort of selfishness. Here's something that's really interesting though, and maybe we have a lawyer chime in because we did I'm telling you right now. We had lawyers chime in about Noodles the Ferret. I miss Noodles on Group T. And that was an interesting conversation. So maybe there is a comment here about the implications of what OP says. Someone's asking, like, how the lottery ticket was purchased. Was it her own money? Blah, blah, blah, blah. It was purchased off of our joint card. Our finances are completely intertwined. We didn't win enough to invest and live off of dividends. So we will both still need to work. We currently do 40 hours each. Cutting back to school hours would have been 30 each. And we need those 60 hours total to keep our standard of living. We both make pretty much close to the same within 10.

[Lauren]

I was wondering that because I was also thinking, like, if she was always making, like, the most money, like, maybe she was thinking, like, I'm working. I'm. I'm the bread winner. Like, I'm working so hard, I deserve to, like, take a break because I've. I don't know. I was thinking maybe that was her thought process. So this. These are good details. Yeah.

[Morgan]

OP does add more context that she's kind of stonewalling him outside of the kids. She's not talking to me. Not great. Not great there. 95 of the winnings went on the house. Neither of us can take any money from it without jointly signing another mortgage form. The remaining amount is still in a shared account. But if she took it all, it wouldn't be the biggest deal. There's not that much money left. There's no way. If he's like, it wouldn't be the biggest deal. Like, yeah, enough for a few vacations.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

There's what, like, 10k? Which is still a lot of money.

[Lauren]

But not enough to quit your job.

[Morgan]

That's what I'm saying. And if you both make the same amount and you were both working 40 hours to live your life, what makes you think, like, here's the question I would ask her. If I were the one to stop at the store that day and get the winning ticket, and we went through this. Do you think it would be fair to you if I quit my job and expected you to keep working? I would never do that to you. I would never quit my job and let you pay for everything if I pulled that winning ticket. Because what's the difference? She got lucky. But they're operating completely as a unit. You just don't do something like that.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So weird.

[Lauren]

This also, like, brings up a question. I actually just asked one of my friends this the other day because Is that the. Is that the norm when people get married, is that they just share all their finances? Because, like, I don't think I'll ever want to do that. Like, even if I married a billionaire, I still think I would want my own separate account. I just. It just feels more. I don't know. I like to have that individuality, I guess.

[Morgan]

I think it really operates couple by couple. I would say the more people I talk to have their own separate accounts and one joint account, and I think that makes sense. And then they put a portion of.

[Lauren]

Their paycheck into the joint account.

[Morgan]

Into the joint. So it's like all of their shared expenses are covered. But it gets different. Like, when you have kids, like my brother and his wife, they just have joint accounts. Like, they don't.

[Lauren]

They.

[Morgan]

They got married.

[Lauren]

They don't have any separate.

[Morgan]

No, not. I. I don't think so. Because, like, they got married at a point where, like, they didn't really have their own lives super established, and they kind of just went into it as, like, whatever. Like, they don't have a prenup.

[Lauren]

They.

[Morgan]

They find prenups goofy. And it's just like.

[Lauren]

Oh, really?

[Morgan]

It's just like, an interesting different dynamic.

[Lauren]

Like, I used.

[Morgan]

I'm in a different boat.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I used to, like, when I heard the word prenup, think, like, it was so negative.

[Morgan]

But, like, I did, too.

[Lauren]

I'm so on the. I just think so opposite. Once I actually learned what they were, because I think they were kind of, like, painted to be bad when I was growing up. But, like, now that I've learned what they are, I just actually. I just saw this video where a lawyer said that out of the thousands of prenups that he's written, he's like, only, like, a couple have actually gotten a divorce.

[Morgan]

And I love hearing that. That's really cool.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And it was. He was doing an interview with, like, Andrew Huberman, and he. He was basically saying that if you have that level of communication with your partner before getting married, that it meet. It, like, oftentimes correlates to having a really strong relationship and a strong partnership. If you can sit down and have that conversation before jumping into everything.

[Morgan]

That's really cool. Yeah, I think that's a really good point, too, because you do have to ask, like, really big, kind of futuristic questions, and, like, it could be uncomfortable. It can get uncomfortable. But if you have a good relationship and a good foundation, it doesn't necessarily have to.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

Yeah, That's a really good point. A lot of Comments from op So I will be sure to link this one, but, yeah, I'm. I'm hoping we get an update. I'm not. I'm not seeing any in the comments so far from him, but I will keep my eyes peeled. I will keep my eyes peeled because I'd like an update on this one. I hope she comes around. Like, I would suck to tear your family apart over you winning the lottery, which is supposed to be a really happy thing.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay. Moving along.

[Lauren]

Moving along. This episode is brought to you by Pacifico. Here's a story you've probably never heard. Legend has it, decades ago, a couple surfers went down to Mexico in search of epic swells. But they found something unexpected instead. It was still crisp, lively and smooth, but it had nothing to do with waves. It was Pacifico, a delicious Mexican lager. It's like it was brewed to be discovered. Pacifico. Find your own way. 21. Discover responsibly. Pacifico Clara beer, imported by Crown Import, Chicago, Illinois. Paraday.

[Morgan]

Extra Fuerte para Liberia. Adelante. Okay, I'm giving you a choice on this next one. And again, if you can't decide, we put it to the coin flip. We call it Good. So option number one, Am I the asshole for stopping my boyfriend's proposal at our best friend's wedding? Or option number two, my ex dumped me in January after nine years together because he didn't think I was wife material. Now he reached out wanting to talk because he needs to get something off of his chest. I don't know why he is doing this or if I should meet up with him.

[Lauren]

I'm going to go with the second one.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Lauren]

Because the first one I just feel like is a quick answer.

[Morgan]

Okay, cool. I've got a guest that I have coming up that's also getting married, so I'll save it for a wedding vibe.

[Lauren]

Perfect.

[Morgan]

It's great. Okay, that was a really long title, but I will read it again for you guys because we get a little. We get some numbers. So coming from relationship advice, 28 days old, titled my 27 female x 26 male dumped me in January after nine years together because he didn't think I was wife material. Now he reached out wanting to talk because he needs to get something off his chest. I don't know why he is doing this or if I should meet up with him. I was with my ex, who I will call Nate, because if I'm being honest, minus betraying a friend, I was Cassie, I don't want to go into Too much details. But for the last nine years, I lost myself to Nate. He was my world. I did everything for him. I helped him through depression, help him get and keep his grades up. Even worked two jobs so he could focus on college. When his parents disowned him for nearly three years because they didn't agree with the major or college he chose, bear in mind, I was also a college student. When his parents started talking to him again and started to financially support him, we moved into a new apartment. Nate said he wanted me to quit my job. I didn't because it was his turn to take care of me for 16 months. Everything was great. He spoiled me. And then I noticed he was more interested in his new friends at times, and he completely ignored me. Back in December, he did a 180 and he loved bomb me the whole month. He really went out of his way to make Christmas magical for me. I honestly believed he was going to propose on January 2nd. He made my favorite dinner and made this speech about me being his first love, how I've always been there since high school. I kept thinking, any minute now he's going to ask me to marry him. But no, he dumped me. As his speech went on, my world fell apart. And as much as he tried to sugarcoat it, he basically said, quote, you were a good girlfriend, but that's what you'll always be to me, a girlfriend. I don't see you as my wife or the mother of my children, blah, blah, you served your purpose. Now I don't need you anymore. Blah, blah. I need someone on my level. Blah, blah, you're a gold digger, blah. I'll give you 30 days to move out. Whoa. I couldn't speak and he stared at me, looking for a response. I think this lasted 20 minutes before he said he would sleep in the guest room, then left. Strangely, I didn't cry or get angry. I just ordered cardboard boxes online and then went to bed.

[Lauren]

What?

[Morgan]

The next day?

[Lauren]

What? Did I miss something?

[Morgan]

No, just kidding.

[Lauren]

She's like building my new house now. Thanks, Nate.

[Morgan]

Cardboard boxes to move in.

[Lauren]

What is wrong with me today?

[Morgan]

The next day, I waited for him to leave the apartment before I left my room. Then I called my boss asked, begged really, if I could transfer anywhere. She told me there wasn't anything, but if something came up in my department, she'd consider me. I then reached out to everyone I knew that wasn't also Nate's friend for a place to stay. My cousin invited me to stay in her spare room for as long as I needed and I could move in straight away. So that was amazing. In the four days it took me to pack my stuff and move out, I didn't see or speak to Nate. I doubt he even noticed. I didn't trust myself at the time to ignore a U up text. So I blocked him and everyone close to him. Even changed my number and email to make sure he couldn't reach me. The first night at my cousin's was the night everything hit me. I think I cried every night. The first month I honestly felt like shit. I thought about what Nate said over and over again. It made me feel so low, like I was nothing. He only stayed with me because I was just there. But thankfully my cousin sent for my mom, other cousins and real friends to give me an intervention which I badly needed. I believe that first month I wouldn't have made it without my cousin. I'm still healing and waiting on that job transfer because I feel like if I'm not in the same city as Nate and I have a place of my own, the fresh start would do me the world of good. I thought by now I'd be a distant memory for Nate. But shockingly he sent flowers to my job today for my birthday which was on Sunday. He went to my parents house looking for me too and my mom admitted he's been before dropping off stuff and trying to ask questions about me. But they told him to fuck off.

[Lauren]

Good.

[Morgan]

The flowers came with a card saying Dear Cassie, happy belated birthday. I've been thinking about you for non stop for the last few months. Especially with how everything ended. I needed to get something off my chest that I feel will haunt me for the rest of my life if I don't tell you this to your face. But I have no way of contacting you if it's possible we can meet up in the near future. Nate.

[Lauren]

Oh my God. Just put it in the card. I slept with your best friend. I suck. Just, just, just shut the up. Get out of here.

[Morgan]

Like what could he want? What's haunting him? He needs to say it to my face. Everyone in my life is telling me to ignore him, but they hate him. I'm torn but I can't lie. My curiosity is telling me meet him to see what he wants. Has anyone been in my shoes or in Nate's?

[Lauren]

See this is what's so frustrating and selfish about what he's doing is that it's like yeah, of course she's curious, like and of and you. It makes me so mad because it's so selfish. Like Like, I won't be able to move forward unless I tell you the shitty thing that I did to you is what I'm hearing. I need to get it off my, like, chest for myself, not for her. Actually. Do you know that I had a friend who told me about in aa, how they actually tell people that they need to go through and decide who they need to apologize to and who they did wrong to, that that person doesn't know, that they need to just let go and not bring it up to them because it's actually selfish and it's only hurting that person because they didn't know and to just move on.

[Morgan]

Move forward. Yeah.

[Lauren]

So. And so I on. When I hear this, I just think of the fact that it's. It's just. It's selfish. It's not completely.

[Morgan]

It's not always about you, Nate. Yeah, and he's really making it about himself, like in the. In the card too, to be like, I've been thinking about you non stop the past few months, especially with how everything ended.

[Lauren]

Mm.

[Morgan]

You gave a crazy ass speech. Crazy speech that the other person thought you were blindsided.

[Lauren]

Yeah, that's always, like, so crazy to me because, like, any end of a relationship, like, I've always, like, felt it. Like, I've always felt it's either, like, on either side of us. Like, there's something off. I'm acting off. They're acting off. Like, it's kind of. It's not a surprise. So I all, like, these stories are so crazy to me how somebody can just, like, seem like there's absolutely nothing wrong.

[Morgan]

And I've been blindsided like this. I mean, you remember, like, I was literally. You kept asking me, like, do you want to move to California? And I'm like, well, so and so is, like, moving here to Minnesota. Like, or I might be going up there. Like, I thought my relationship was so solid. I thought he was about to propose. His mom was asking me what ring I might want. Like, I was getting all the signs that, like, we were good, and next thing I know, getting ghosted for weeks and then, oh, bye. You don't deserve me. Like, I've been in those shoes. And it is. It is mind blowing because it. It's nice to have that slow, like, where I feel it, I feel the fizzle. We're not connecting. We're off. Because I've had that too. But when you have that other blind side, it does something to your body. Yeah, it feels like a car crash.

[Lauren]

Because I can't imagine you just, like.

[Morgan]

You go from like this happy planning.

[Lauren]

Yeah. It all Planning your whole life with the person, everything.

[Morgan]

And it's like I am totally blissfully unaware that there's any issues. And it's just like. So it. You just wake up and you're like, well, what do I do now? Like, every plan I had involved that other person in this life I thought I was gonna have. Like, you grieve. Like. Yeah, you actually kind of grieve. And it's really weird for like a.

[Lauren]

Breakup, but when you go.

[Morgan]

When you go from like boyfriend, girlfriend to fiance, marriage, like, kind of over. You can go from that overnight. It does feel like this. Just like hit a smart car into a concrete wall.

[Lauren]

My. Actually, no, my. Even. Even when you do know it's coming, like, it's still such a grieving process. So, like, to not know it's coming, like, I. That's why I'm like, I can't imagine how, like, how rock. Like, how much that would rock a person.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

How much it would rock. It's just. It's crazy. And like, even my mom had said one time where she was just like, she's like, when people pass away, like, you grieve them, you grieve their memory. You. But when you. When you go through a breakup, you grieve a person who's still here. And you have to have the self control to not try to talk to them. And so she's like, they're. They're two very different, interesting things that are similar but different. And it's so complicated.

[Morgan]

So that's just sad. Like.

[Lauren]

It is.

[Morgan]

You used to go to them. They were the first person you reached out to with good news, bad news, sad, whatever it was.

[Lauren]

It's just.

[Morgan]

It's hard. Like, you just. You lose a lot.

[Lauren]

Yeah. They're like, no longer a part of your life, but they still are there. You just aren't allowed to talk to them anymore. It's just. It's.

[Morgan]

It's so.

[Lauren]

It's definitely a grieving process.

[Morgan]

It is. So I totally get where she is wanting to be. Like, I kind of know. I want to know what he has to say. Because I do think there's something in that too, where getting an apology can be a sense of closure.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And that does help a lot of people. Like, I sometimes think the best closure is like, the revenge of living a good life and just like. Like not responding to any outreach from them, especially if you were the one that was kind of wronged. But I am kind of curious. I'm Like, I'm very curious.

[Lauren]

Me too.

[Morgan]

Top comment. The girl he was seeing or hoping to cheat with didn't work out, and he can't be alone, so he's trying to get back together. You are worth more than this. Don't fall for it and keep making plans for your life. Better things await.

[Lauren]

Please tell me of an update. Please tell me of an update.

[Morgan]

Please.

[Lauren]

No, we don't. I can't tell your facial expressions right now.

[Morgan]

I'm like, I don't know. Let me go look.

[Lauren]

Speaking of selfish. Selfishly. I want her to meet up with him so she can tell us what he said.

[Morgan]

We have an update.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Okay, so. Original post. It looks like OP Actually posted this in a few places. So the first one was relationship advice a month ago and then went on am I the. Which it doesn't fit there, girl.

[Lauren]

She's trying to get out there.

[Morgan]

Need needed help, but did go back to Aitah, which is not the subreddit we read this on to give an update. Should we get in any comments though, before I read the update?

[Lauren]

If you think they're worth it.

[Morgan]

Let me. Let me see. Okay, so the first comment from OP My cousin thinks he tried to monkey branch and it didn't work out.

[Lauren]

What is monkey branch?

[Morgan]

That is new for me, and I'm chronically online. Apparently, it means to go from one relationship to another.

[Lauren]

I've never heard that before.

[Morgan]

Monkey branching. I kind of love it.

[Lauren]

Same.

[Morgan]

Like, can't you just envision Tarzan on the the Vines?

[Lauren]

I play Mario Party all the time. I'm envisioning one of my mini games.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. Just saying. He's blocked on everything. That's why he had to drop off the flowers. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. People are just kind of concerned. Like, hopefully he leaves you alone. Like, I think a lot of people in the comments were sharing their stories and OP was seeing them all. And OP goes, I've been talking to a lot of people on here and in real life. Kind of freaked out with the stories of how bad things can get. Hopefully he will just leave me alone. And yeah, those are really the only comments we have until the update, so let's get into it. So we ended up meeting. And no, I didn't go to him. I had told the receptionist at my work, if he came looking for me, just say I'm out for the day. This was after he showed up once. I didn't want the drama of him around my job. So Nate just kept going to my usual places, like the grocery store. I go to every Saturday evening or the park I run at Sunday mornings. His words. Until he would eventually run into me. And he did. Yesterday he was waiting at the coffee shop I go to after my morning run. When I saw him, I tried to do a turnaround and leave, but he kept calling me. So I thought to myself, if everything went pear shaped, a coffee shop would be safer than my walk home. So I just sat down and asked him what he wanted. He gave an apology that wasn't an apology. You know the type with I'm sorry but and pity me. He blamed his mental health, his job, his parents, his friends, everyone but himself. I took someone's advice on here and said, quote, cut the crap, I already know everything. He genuinely looked shocked and stared at me for a second. I guess he thought his co worker already told me everything, so he couldn't lie. Here's what really happened. He fell for a girl in his office. When he told me her name, I knew her immediately. I've met her a few times. He told me for the last two years he has idolized her. To be fair, she's beautiful with an amazing personality. And he hated me because I was the one stopping them from being together. Because his co worker was too classy to be a side piece. When he broke up with me, he confessed to her that he was madly in love with her and he ended a nine year relationship to be with her. Well, here's where it gets funny. She doesn't even like him. Lol. She called him a piece of trash and told him if he ever spoke to her outside of work, she'd report him to hr. So I asked him, what has any of this got to do with me? Like, we are over. I clearly cut ties and there's no reason for us to speak. He wants to try again. Promised we'd get married before the year ends.

[Lauren]

Ew, shut up.

[Morgan]

That we belong together.

[Lauren]

You're out of your goddamn mind.

[Morgan]

I told him, no, I'm nobody's second choice. He threw away nine years and said some pretty cruel things to me. And now he thinks if he snaps his fingers, I'll come running back. He tried to beg and fake tears, bringing up the good times in our relationship. He literally said, you're not marriage material. You're not mother material. Yeah, do you have amnesia? Do you not remember that? That beautiful speech you gave me, Asshole.

[Lauren]

Also, like, you didn't even need to say that. Like, this is what I don't understand. Like I've had people say, oh, like I have to have the whole talk and explanation with a breakup, and it's like, no, actually, like, you don't have to reiterate what you've reiterated, like, in a relationship. Or you don't have to. You can just be like, I don't think we're a match and that's it. You don't have to try to kick them on your way out. Or, like, you don't have to reiterate things that you've already told them that you're having a problem with in the relationship that led to where you're at. Like, you can literally just be like, it's not a match, and then leave. So, like, when people feel the need to be like, you're not marriage material, you're not mother material, like, what the. Says who, bitch? Like, get out of here. Just leave.

[Morgan]

Yeah, just leave. It's so goofy. Op does go on. I told him, please leave me alone, as he wasted too much of my time already. Yeah, I texted my cousin to meet me at the coffee shop. He kept saying nonsense, even suggested if I went to couples counseling for a few months, he'd leave me alone. The 20 minutes it took for my cousin to arrive felt like 20 years. In the end, I just stopped listening and stood at the counter making small talk with baristas until my cousin arrived. She told him to off, and if he tried to follow us, she would call her brothers. He stayed in the coffee shop as far as I know. And we just went home. That's it. It's only been a day, but I feel like it's over and I'm free of him. Dude is a loser for sure.

[Lauren]

Big loser.

[Morgan]

Anyone that did this like you. Also, you lusted over your co worker.

[Lauren]

For 22 years and resented your partner of 9.

[Morgan]

Hated her. But you wasted 2 more years of each other's lives. You knew you had feelings for the coworker. And then to go to the coworker and say, I dumped my girlfriend of nine years for you. You've never been on a date. You look scary.

[Lauren]

You are scary.

[Morgan]

You've imagined this whole fake ass scenario, and you don't even know me. You get work me. Work me is different than home me. Date me. That's so different. And for you to just come on hot and heavy like that weirdo. You don't know me.

[Lauren]

100%.

[Morgan]

How did he think that was gonna work?

[Lauren]

He's weird.

[Morgan]

And how did he think he was gonna then tell her op that and be like, but I love you. Marry me. You only want me back because you couldn't get your dream girl. That doesn't make me feel great.

[Lauren]

Yeah. It's so pathetic. It's like, did you really think that she's gonna be like, oh, my God, like, the girl who you left me for turned you down, and so now you run back to me. A dream come true. This is like what I've seen in the movies. I feel like people need to watch movies more often.

[Morgan]

Are they not?

[Lauren]

I'm like, I don't know, because I'm like. Like, do you see what is good and what's bad in a movie? Do you see what's romantic and what's disgusting or creepy in a movie? Like, just watch a movie and, like, learn from that.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I don't. People need to get off social media, get back into the movies. There are so many good rom coms coming out. I'm so, so happy. I feel like rom coms are coming back.

[Lauren]

I'm obsessed with rom coms. Have you. I actually, when I was. I used to think that, like, like, young boys should be required to watch rom coms because I'm like, this is like, take notes, kids. Take notes.

[Morgan]

You could pitch that. You could pitch that as curriculum, literally. Honestly, I would not hate that as a college class. The psychology observed through rom coms. I would have signed up for that class so fast.

[Lauren]

It probably exists somewhere, just not where we went to college. But I'm super into it. I mean, they have like a. A college course, like, based on Taylor Swift. So it makes me feel like a rom com course is available.

[Morgan]

Do rom coms depict realistic relationships? UC Davis psychology professor Paul Eastwick analyzes rom coms in a new podcast.

[Lauren]

Okay, well, we understand that they're not all, like, realistic.

[Morgan]

No.

[Lauren]

But at the same time, there's a lot of really great things you can.

[Morgan]

Take from lessons to learn.

[Lauren]

You know, like, see how it's really admirable when the man opens up the door for his date? Like, take notes, kids.

[Morgan]

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like that. Learn where the bar is.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

There is this article that I'm immediately going to read after this. This. It's from inc.com a pair of psychologists mind rom coms for relationship lessons. Here are their three biggest takeaways. I love that. That's so cool. There's so many studies on this. What rom coms teach us about relationships. A psychological study. Say less. Say less. I'm. I'm hooked. I'm in.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but I'm like. I'm like, do you really think that.

[Morgan]

That.

[Lauren]

That is how she wants her love story to. I don't know, I just think it's desperate. He's desperate.

[Morgan]

So desperate.

[Lauren]

But it's like go kick yourself and go try over with someone else because you're.

[Morgan]

Yeah, sorry, go ahead. I keep interrupting.

[Lauren]

No, it's fine. It's just like, because you messed this up like two. You just, just. You dug yourself so deep that you can't get out of this one. You just gotta go try somewhere else new and like learn from your mistakes. Like you, you know.

[Morgan]

Absolutely. Learn.

[Lauren]

Leave her alone.

[Morgan]

Learn from your mistake. I think I like went back to go check his age too because I'm like, does he feel like this is it and you know, the sunken cost fallacy and how old you know, is he? 40. And what like whatever. He's 26. Yeah. This is not your person. You're not each other's person. You have so much ahead of you. Like I met Justin at 25, 26. Like you just don't get caught in that. Oh, because we've been together so long and through high school, this must be my person. Like if you're not working, you're not working. You clearly weren't working. Yeah, don't force it.

[Lauren]

I actually just saw this TikTok too where it's like a lot of people marry the people who they're dating in their 20s, even if it's not the right person for them. And it was, it was kind of a funny tick tock because she's like, she's like, I know I married my person in my 20s. And she's like. But I love like she, she's like, I love my person. She's amazing. All this stuff. And she's like. But like people will like, like put pressure, society put pressure on getting married around your like 20s or 30s. And so therefore if somebody's dating someone in their 20s, a lot of times they'll just marry that person even if it's not the right person for them. And the way she was describing it was just, it was, it was good stuff.

[Morgan]

I really like that energy. I've also seen a big movement around like first divorce by 30, you know.

[Lauren]

Like see.

[Morgan]

And I think there is something empowering about that too. And for both, both people involved, like, why waste another second of your life not with your person? Yeah, go find someone that you don't fight with that carries an equal load with you. That xyz, like what you want for your life, that loves to travel or, or loves to do this or whatever. Like they're out there. So if you're not being fulfilled by your partner, like don't lock in. You don't have to. Yeah, because society says so. I don't know. I'm really excited for op. I think she's got a solid footing, has amazing support around her and all will be well. Okay, ending it on this last kooky one.

[Lauren]

Kooky?

[Morgan]

Yeah. Someone sent this to me on my Instagram. I actually saw a DM for once and we were laughing about it together. So I'm like, I gotta get. I gotta get this out there.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

This is coming from Aitah two days old. It is titled Am I the asshole for not respecting fancy soap policy in our bathroom and accidentally starting a soap based arms race? So my wife, 30, female, bought this absurdly expensive soap from some little shop. It came in a tiny frosted glass bottle wrapped in twine. Ridiculous branding like quote hints of pine regret and artisanal disappointment or something like that. She placed it on the bathroom counter and told me, this is for guests. We don't have guests ever. Okay, maybe once every two months. I told her that. But apparently the idea of a guest potentially seeing that we use Commoner soap is too horrifying for her to bear. So the fancy soap was enshrined like the Mona Lisa, untouched. Fast forward I run out of my regular cheapo soap soap, which came in a cracked plastic bottle with a pump that wheezed like a dying guinea pig. So in a moment of desperation and dirty hands, I dared to touch the Holy Grail. I was halfway through a single pump of the fancy soap when she walked in looking at me as if I was defiling the sacred artifact or microwaving the Faberge egg. She said I was wasting it and that it's not for everyday hands. I was pissed. Then I did the unthinkable. I went out and bought my own Fancy Soap. $30. Grapefruit and cedar. Smells like if a lumberjack went to therapy. I put it proudly on my side of the sink. I declared that this is my new soap and only I have the right to use it. Suddenly it's the Cold War soap edition. That evening I saw over her shoulder she was searching for more soap bottles on Etsy like she wanted revenge. At this point, I now want to invite some guests over to make sure they use my fancy soap and not hers. Haha. Now she's mad I'm mocking her and says I'm turning cleanliness into a competition. I told her she started the soap cast system. I Just refused to be born into the lower class. She hasn't spoken to me in two days.

[Lauren]

Whoa.

[Morgan]

But I smell amazing. Tell me, am I the.

[Lauren]

What's going on here?

[Morgan]

They're crashing out over soap.

[Lauren]

Do you think it makes life more fun or more painful to be this way?

[Morgan]

I would assume painful. This is goofy. I buy soap from Trader Joe's and the grocery store, and I. I don't know, like, I appreciate the fancy soap. Like, if I go into a bathroom and they have some Le Labo soap, I'm like, we're like, asmo, be nice. Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Lauren]

So it's like, it smells great, but.

[Morgan]

I'm like, no, there's another one. Oh, my God. There's this other one. It's like Grown Alchemist. It is the most amazing soap. And yeah, it's 30. $30 a bottle. It's so good, though. But like, you know, like, it feels so special when you walk into a bathroom and they have, like, those nice products. You're like, ooh.

[Lauren]

Somebody told me that they just refill them with, like, they get the ASO bottles and refill them with, like, in the restaurants. I don't know if you've ever seen that.

[Morgan]

I could see it. Now that you say it. I could see. Yeah, I could see it.

[Lauren]

So it's kind of like placebo.

[Morgan]

Yeah. But it smells so good.

[Lauren]

Well, there's a lots of really good smelling, like good cheapos. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I mean, I love my Trader Joe's soap.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Love it. It. I guess. Yeah. I mean, there's also, like, dossier. Like, that's where I get my perfume because it's so much cheaper than buying, like, the nice ass, like, name brands. It's like, it's like a dupe.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Perfume, essentially. I bet that's what they do.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But I don't know. I feel like these two, they're honestly made for each other by the sounds of it.

[Lauren]

Or, like, made to be against each other.

[Morgan]

Ooh. Lovers to enemies.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Not enemies to lovers. Yeah. Yeah. Something's going on here. Something's definitely going on here. Top comment. It's always heartwarming to see two psychopaths find each other and fall in love. Godspeed to both of you. Next comment down. Two clean psychopaths. It. Comments. Comments. They turn dark, you guys. They turn dark. Okay, this one. Is this real? I need to, like, look this up.

[Lauren]

Comments are crashing out.

[Morgan]

The comments are crashing out. Someone goes, it's all fun and games until you murder a colleague over business card envy.

[Lauren]

I feel like, we missed a few. What?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

What?

[Morgan]

Woman poisons colleague over promotion envy, huh?

[Lauren]

And they die. That's terrifying.

[Morgan]

Apparently attempted murder from Abida de Gojas for allegedly poisoning her co worker's water bottle after losing a promotion. Surveillance footage captured the act, and the victim suffered immediate burns.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

The incident highlights the rise in poisoning cases and the dangers of workplace jealousy.

[Lauren]

I'm. Where was this?

[Morgan]

I don't know. Goyas. The Goyas Civil police. It's a Brazilian state, so. Somewhere in Brazil.

[Lauren]

That's so scary, dude.

[Morgan]

Just take it.

[Lauren]

Just.

[Morgan]

Just tell me you're gonna poison me and I'll quit. Wow. Wow. That was good. That was a good episode.

[Lauren]

That was good.

[Morgan]

I like it.

[Lauren]

Did you have fun?

[Morgan]

That was great.

[Lauren]

You liked it?

[Morgan]

Great time.

[Lauren]

I was a little worried that you weren't having fun.

[Morgan]

I. I had a great time.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I just, like, I am sitting here and I'm like, these stories were so fun. It makes me want to, like, have a big crash out.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God. I want to crash out all the time. I. Honestly, this is inspiring me to publicly crash out.

[Morgan]

I think I'm going to.

[Lauren]

I think so.

[Morgan]

I remember a couple episodes ago, I was like, I'm not going to be a bridezilla.

[Lauren]

Oh, no.

[Morgan]

It might be happening.

[Lauren]

Oh, no. You know, I. This is what I think happens. No, I think.

[Morgan]

No. Okay, well, okay, you say what you're gonna say then. Okay.

[Lauren]

I think that people get on, like, TikTok and. Or social media turn, like, when they're planning their weddings, and I think it's filled with all these, like, insanely, like, over the top, like, crazy, like, experiences. And so then, like, brides get in their head and they're like, mine needs to be perfect. Because you're constantly re.

[Morgan]

Like, oh, no, it's nothing. It's nothing in relation to that. I could have had a crash out moment today. So for our wedding invitations, I wanted to order a bunch of, like, vintage stamps because I really liked the way people's invitations looked when they, like, like, put a bunch of vintage stamps on and just. It looked really cute. And it's. It's cutesy. It's my vibe. So I ordered.

[Lauren]

I love the. The, like the wax stamps. Yeah, I love that I ordered those. Makes me happy.

[Morgan]

But then, like, vintage stamps, and so I ordered a couple, and, like, one is this crane, and it's just like this beautiful line art crane. And one is standing in the background looking that way, and then there's another bending down and, like, like looking at little Crane chicks. And I posted it and I like posted all my stamps. I was like, oh, my God. Like, this might have turned me into a stamp collector. I love it so much. And I've never gotten more responses to a story in my life. But everyone was like, morgan, those. Those birds are fucking. And I'm like, what? And it doesn't look like it when you actually have the stamp in front of you. But if you look on just like my Instagram story, it does kind of look like one bird is the other. And I had put these stamps on a bunch of invitations already, so now who cares? I don't. I was fully. I was dying. I Woke up at 8:30 this morning and that was the first thing I saw. And I was dying laughing. But that could have been such a crash out moment to be like, we gotta. We gotta burn these stamps. Oh God, we gotta take them off. But I. I think it's so funny.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I'm so curious if any of my guests say anything, because I'm like, they're either gonna think I'm one a kinky weirdo that put a bird stamp on their card.

[Lauren]

I need to see this. I have not been on Instagram or on my phone today.

[Morgan]

I'll show you. It doesn't look like it in person.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

But yeah, it'll be really interesting to see if they get anything. But no mine. I'm like, I'm not stressed at all about the wedding. And I'm like, five months, still have a lot to do. But I'm in the boat of like, it's gonna work out. It's gonna be really fun. Like, the big stuff is booked now, so whatever. I could get married under the Costco awning and have a piece of pizza after to celebrate and I'd be happy because I get to marry Justin.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It's not what we're doing. Like, I. But if all goes to shit, that's where you'll find me.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Hermantown, Minnesota. Costco, September 27th.

[Lauren]

Invite everyone right there.

[Morgan]

Honestly, I'm fully debating having an invite list for people to come to the reception and just dance. Because I'm like, I'm paying for a band. Let's go. I can't pay for everyone to have food. But, like, come on and dance.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. I'm like, that sounds fun. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I also, this is the one thing I'm probably being goofy over as I'm doing the guest list. I'm like, oh, my God, I have so many hot single girls.

[Lauren]

I.

[Morgan]

How do I find, like, single guys that are attractive to come? Like, I want to be a matchmaker. I've always wanted to be a matchmaker. I've talked about it on this show forever. So I'm like, is it weird to let people apply to come to your wedding?

[Lauren]

That sounds so fun. You should do that.

[Morgan]

Okay. If you're a hot, single guy. I think I'm opening myself up for Candy Myers. I don't know. We'll reevaluate that one.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

The one thing I've kind of crashed out on is, like, people just not showing up. Like, you talk to family members and you're like, yeah, it's this day. And they're like, oh, well, I'll have to see where I'm at. And I'm like, you're my family and you're. What do you mean, see where you're at? It's my wedding. I'm just like, that is really frustrating where it's like, I've shown up for you, and you're not gonna show up for me on something that's, like, special to me. I'm like, like, yeah, that's weird. That's the only thing I've crashed out about. So not total bride Z. I feel like that's justified.

[Lauren]

Is it people that live in Minnesota.

[Morgan]

Yeah. But even, like, there's, like, a couple that live out of state but are, like, very, like, well off. And I'm like, what?

[Lauren]

What, for like, the wedding day?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I'm just like, like, that's weird. That's odd. I don't know. But again, I might not notice them, but, like, I don't know. I just. It still kind of, like, rubbed me the wrong way where I'm like, okay. And it's turned me into a little bit of a tit for tat. I'm like, well, fine, I won't go to your wedding. Fine. I don't care.

[Lauren]

Then don't.

[Morgan]

You won't see me at your.

[Lauren]

Then don't.

[Morgan]

I won't.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but it's still.

[Morgan]

You're like, like, what? I'm gonna throw a really good party.

[Lauren]

I honestly, I just. I feel like I've let myself get disappointed too many times throughout growing up with certain things that I wanted people to show up for me for that.

[Morgan]

Like, I know that's been me, and.

[Lauren]

I think that's part of the reason why I also don't even know that I care for. To plan a wedding. Like, I want to get for you.

[Morgan]

But I'll plan it. I love this.

[Lauren]

I.

[Morgan]

So fun.

[Lauren]

I don't know. I just, like, makes me sad, and I don't want it to make me sad, and I think so. That's why I think I'm just. I'm not interested in it. Like, anytime I try to, like, plan, like, something like that, I think is small or sweet, I feel like people bail or don't show up on me or, like, it's. It's just. I don't know. I feel like I have bad luck when it comes to me trying to organize something.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Which has probably resulted in me being more of a type of my befriend, because I'm like, I hated that feeling of trying to organize things. And everyone bailed. Yeah. And so now I'm just kind of like, I'm. I don't want that anymore. I just want to go with the flow, have fun, not let it, like, get in my head and make me feel sad. Like.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So that's. I. It's weird, but.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that's how I feel. But I thought my wedding would be, like, the one exception where people, like, really show up and show out. And so when I'm getting met with that response that I. I have kind of, like, I've depended on people or expected things and, like, not even big expectations, like, hey, just come on over and celebrate my birthday. And then they disappoint. I'm like, oh, but this is a wedding. Like, this is like. It's like weddings and funerals. That's the only time you really get celebrated. Just come on. So I'm in that same boat. I totally get that. But I will plan your wedding. You won't have to stress about a damn thing. It will be so good. I actually, like, I could be a planner in my. In my next life.

[Lauren]

I literally could not ask you to plan a wedding for me. When you continue to put things on your plate.

[Morgan]

I love this. Well, by, like, I can take a couple weeks off, and I wouldn't be planning my own wedding and all the other shit at the same time. I'd plan yours. I got it.

[Lauren]

You'll have some other projects going on.

[Morgan]

No, you. You never quit. You never quit everything. I'll quit. I'll quit this podcast. Yeah, I'll quit.

[Lauren]

You're on fire today.

[Morgan]

Don't tempt me. That will be my crash out.

[Lauren]

Crash out? Yeah, crash out.

[Morgan]

One day I'll just crash out and quit everything.

[Lauren]

Let's get a face tattoo.

[Morgan]

Always tired. Yeah, that was something. Oh, my God. Someone was like, I posted About Clues, the new podcast. And someone was like, morgan, you're always tired. Same. I'm like, are we not.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Doesn't mean I can't do. Do another show.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I'm like, I still. I don't know. I'll nap when I'm dead.

[Lauren]

Oh, I don't like that.

[Morgan]

You only get one life.

[Lauren]

I know, but yolo, it sounded sad.

[Morgan]

Can yolo make a comeback? Is yolo yolo?

[Lauren]

I don't like it.

[Morgan]

I do. Why yolo? It just has. Are you such a ring to it?

[Lauren]

Are you Drake over Kendrick?

[Morgan]

No.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

No. Is it. Was that a Drake song?

[Lauren]

I think so.

[Morgan]

You only live once. That's a mother.

[Lauren]

And I'm riding every day. Every day, Every day. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Dude, I just saw a tick tock where it was like popping bottles in the ice, getting slithers fly like a G6, whatever. And people are like, oh, my God, Recession Pop is making a comeback. I'm like, yeah, it is. Riding solo. All we do is win, win, win, no matter what.

[Lauren]

Oh, my gosh. I saw this tick tock where they were like. There was a period of time where we couldn't get away from the Na Na Nas. And there was.

[Morgan]

I just watched it last night. There was 20 songs. There's so many.

[Lauren]

And they're all bops. They're amazing.

[Morgan]

I literally told Justin, I go, I think you actually need to make a song next week.

[Lauren]

100.

[Morgan]

That includes the wor.

[Lauren]

They're so good.

[Morgan]

Subliminally, I didn't even subconsciously.

[Lauren]

I don't even think about it. I never thought about Nana, like, as being a thing.

[Morgan]

It was a filler word.

[Lauren]

I just thought it's just, you know, we're just singing. But like, no, that is a. A box. It is.

[Morgan]

You guys gotta see this tick tock you got.

[Lauren]

I almost want to play it in here because of. How should I.

[Morgan]

It's copyright.

[Lauren]

Oh, copyright.

[Morgan]

I can't share it. We'll share it on socials.

[Lauren]

It.

[Morgan]

It's literally every big box.

[Lauren]

It's so good.

[Morgan]

It was so good. And I was like.

[Lauren]

And all different versions too.

[Morgan]

Like, slow.

[Lauren]

And then there's also fast, and then there's, like, poppy romantic, and then there's sexy.

[Morgan]

It was so crazy. That blew my mind. And I don't really like filler words. Like, I hate. I hate a misplaced. Yeah. In a song.

[Lauren]

Oh, wow.

[Morgan]

Just don't say anything. Let the music speak.

[Lauren]

I think filler words are my middle name.

[Morgan]

No, I don't need you to be belting. Beautiful Lyrics. And all of a sudden you have an empty void and you go, yeah, unless you're Hannah Montana, shut the fuck up.

[Lauren]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Morgan]

Fine. Love it. Anyone else? In a artfully, craftfully, beautifully written song, keep the yaz to yourself.

[Lauren]

I love all. I'm trying to think if there's any that even make me cringe. And I don't. I don't know that there are.

[Morgan]

I will find you one.

[Lauren]

You look like Lily right now. From How I met your mother.

[Morgan]

How fun.

[Lauren]

Do you love poop?

[Morgan]

Lauren? Oh, God. I just watched the wedding episode. Lily's, like, cracking the glasses.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God. I'm right there right now. I'm. I've never even seen the last season, and I'm watching it and I'm, like, crying over the wife. I know. I've never seen it. It's so. It's like my.

[Morgan]

Do you know how it ends?

[Lauren]

I've heard how it ends. Yes. So I kind of just assumed in my head that I, like, have seen it all.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

But no, I actually love this season. Brian was telling me that everybody, like, didn't like it.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I have feelings as of right now.

[Lauren]

I'm just. It makes me so emotional. I'm like, oh, my God, this is so romantic.

[Morgan]

I love it. Well, guys, I have to pee. And this kind of felt like a little deep dive of weird ketchup at the end. But thank you so, so, so much for being here. Head over to Patreon. Lauren and I will be having an episode this month. A lot of other good stuff, some free stories. There's a couple free, like, mini bonus episodes now. So head over there. But thank you guys so much for being here. Another episode. Anything else? Loan?

[Lauren]

I don't think so, no.

[Morgan]

I'm gonna pee my pants. But love you guys. Until next time. Love you.

[Lauren]

Bye.

[Morgan]

Bye.