221: More to the Story? Ft. Bob the Drag Queen

Summary

Podcast Summary: Two Hot Takes Episode 221: "More to the Story? Ft. Bob the Drag Queen"

Release Date: June 20, 2025
Host: Morgan Absher
Guest: Bob the Drag Queen, Season 8 winner of RuPaul's Drag Race
Podcast Description: Morgan Absher and her co-hosts scour Reddit, listener submissions, and the internet to deliver their hottest takes on the most intriguing stories about dating, relationships, life, and AITA (Am I the Asshole) scenarios.

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1. Opening Remarks and Context

Morgan Absher begins the episode with a poignant note addressing current global tensions, specifically mentioning recent events involving ICE and a political assassination in Minnesota. She emphasizes the importance of self-care and social media detoxing, setting a reflective tone for the episode.

Timestamp: [00:25 – 00:45]

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2. Guest Introduction: Bob the Drag Queen

Morgan enthusiastically welcomes Bob the Drag Queen, praising his appearance and expressing genuine excitement about his participation in the episode. Bob engages in playful banter with Morgan, reminiscing about their childhood experiences with the Mission Impossible franchise.

Notable Quote:
Morgan: "I'm obsessed with you."
Bob: "I pull off the wig and it's actually Monet."

Timestamp: [01:54 – 03:36]

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3. Discussion of Bob’s Book

Morgan discusses her deep appreciation for Bob's book, highlighting its unique perspective on historical figures through a creative lens. Bob shares insights into his writing process, the challenges he faced in publishing, and his aspirations to expand his literary work into musicals and other media.

Notable Quotes:
Morgan: "You're hitting like such an insane historical figure, but from such a fun lens."
Bob: "I think it's maybe the way you wrote it from a different point of view."

Timestamp: [04:00 – 05:30]

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4. Analysis of Reddit AITA Stories

The core of the episode revolves around analyzing various AITA stories submitted from Reddit. Morgan and Bob delve into each story, offering their perspectives, humorous takes, and empathetic insights. Below are the highlighted discussions:

a. Telling Girlfriend Her Writing is Bad

Story Summary: A 35-year-old man criticizes his girlfriend's writing, labeling her work as trashy and suggesting she should be ashamed for selling her books. The girlfriend reacts negatively, leading to familial tensions.

Key Discussion Points:

• Bob firmly concludes that the man is the asshole for being excessively harsh and unsupportive of his girlfriend's passion.
• Morgan concurs, emphasizing the importance of respecting a partner's career choices.

Notable Quote:
Bob: "The answer is yes, this person is. This man is an asshole."
Timestamp: [12:07 – 17:26]

b. Refusing to Attend Sister's Rebirth Party

Story Summary: A woman declines her sister's unconventional rebirth party, which includes theatrical and bizarre rituals involving a performer from Craigslist. Her refusal leads to family conflicts.

Key Discussion Points:

• Morgan shares her discomfort with attending the event.
• Bob humorously questions the authenticity of the story but eventually sympathizes with Morgan's feelings.

Notable Quote:
Bob: "It sounds like Obsidian lives in her parents home."
Timestamp: [21:01 – 26:00]

c. Feeling Weirded Out by Boyfriend’s Scratches

Story Summary: A woman notices unexplained scratches on her boyfriend's back, which he dismisses as accidental. She becomes increasingly suspicious of potential infidelity.

Key Discussion Points:

• Bob explores possible reasons for the scratches, including physical activities or cheating, ultimately advising caution.
• Morgan expresses surprise and concern over the boyfriend's dismissive behavior.

Notable Quote:
Bob: "These seem like things that should be important to know."
Timestamp: [35:00 – 57:00]

d. Outing a Closeted Uncle After He Shamed Her for Being Gay

Story Summary: A 25-year-old man confronts his uncle for making homophobic remarks during a family dinner. Upon further investigation, he discovers evidence of his uncle's bisexuality, leading to moral dilemmas about outing him.

Key Discussion Points:

• Bob supports Morgan's decision to stand up against his uncle's behavior, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries.
• Both discuss the complexities and potential repercussions of outing a family member.

Notable Quote:
Bob: "No, you're not the asshole."
Timestamp: [62:12 – 67:59]

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5. Light-Hearted Banter and Personal Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, Morgan and Bob engage in playful conversations about personal habits, pet care, and humorous takes on everyday scenarios. They share stories about roommate dynamics, pet-related mishaps, and their preferences in food and hobbies, adding a relatable and entertaining layer to the discussion.

Notable Quotes:
Bob: "I stole Monet’s Roomba. She didn’t know for two weeks."
Morgan: "Someone needs to make this their bit."
Timestamp: [73:50 – 89:00]

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6. Promotions and Wrap-Up

As the episode concludes, Bob the Drag Queen promotes his book and upcoming performances, including monthly shows and specials tailored for audiences dealing with the loss of a mother. Morgan encourages listeners to check out Bob's content through provided links.

Notable Quote:
Bob: "You can go to readthedragqueen.com to get my book."
Morgan: "Be sure to check them out."
Timestamp: [99:35 – 101:14]

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Conclusion

Episode 221 of Two Hot Takes offers a blend of heartfelt discussions on sensitive AITA stories and light-hearted interactions between Morgan Absher and Bob the Drag Queen. Their dynamic rapport provides both insightful analysis and entertaining commentary, making complex relationship dilemmas accessible and engaging for listeners. The episode underscores the importance of honesty, boundaries, and understanding in personal relationships, all while maintaining a humorous and relatable atmosphere.

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Notable Links and Promotions (As Mentioned in the Episode):

• Bob the Drag Queen's Book: readthedragqueen.com
• Two Hot Takes Instagram: @TwoHotTakes
• Patreon Bonus Stories: Patreon - Two Hot Takes
• YouTube Channel: Two Hot Takes YouTube
• Merchandise: Two Hot Takes Shop

(All promotional content and advertisements have been omitted from this summary as per instructions.)

Transcript

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Disney. Summer is here and Disney is going retro with all your Disney and Hulu throwback faves. Endless rewind on Disney with the Princess diaries, the Lizzie McGuire Movie and Freaky Friday. Then with Hulu Throw it back with Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill and Full House. All of these and more now streaming with Hulu on Disney with a bundle subscription available with bundle plans starting at $10.99 a month. Terms apply. Visit disneyplus.com hulu for details. This episode is brought to you by Yeti. Summer for me is all about having a good time. Whether it's going out on a boat or adventuring with hikes. I love getting out and doing things. But none of those activities are complete without a great cooler, something that's super tough and super lightweight. And YETI coolers are seriously next level. I got one of their Hopper M12 backpack coolers and this thing holds about 20 cans and keeps your hands free. They also have a leak proof flip 18 cooler. Keeps everything super organized, easy to find. So whatever random adventure you end up on, find your cooler and gear up for summer with YETI soft coolers. Hi friends. Just checking in before we start today's episode. Heavy times right now in the world. And I think regardless of what side of the aisle you stand on, it's pretty clear that what's going on with ICE and an assassination of a politician in Minnesota, things are not okay. So now more than ever, it's time we talk about it. We take a stand. And I just want to make sure everyone has the resources they need. So if you're worried about ice, please make sure you know your rights and other links will be found in the description. But look after yourself. Practice some good self care, some social media detoxing, and hopefully this episode is a good distraction for us all. So let's dive in. Here we go. Welcome back to another episode of Too Hot Takes My Friends. I'm your host, Morgan, and today we.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Got Bob the Drag Queen.

[Morgan]

We got Bob. Are you fucking kidding me? Look at this. Beautiful.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I pull off the wig and it's actually Monet.

[Morgan]

I'm obsessed with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like you ever seen. How old are you?

[Morgan]

31.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, so you probably didn't watch Mission Impossible.

[Morgan]

I've seen Mission Impossible, but not like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When it came out. You were too young.

[Morgan]

What year was it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know. Can't someone Google? We got a Googler 96.

[Morgan]

Oh yeah, I was born in four.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, so you were not two years old watching Miss Impossible? No, when it came out, it was massive. The movie was huge.

[Morgan]

The mask. Yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because you pull your, your face off.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then there's another face underneath. And it was everyone. It was like, it was like such a bit in, in like, in like movies and media and sketches, like. I see. And do you remember the music for Mission Impossible?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's iconic. Do you want to hum it with me?

[Morgan]

I'll let you do it. Justice Zen Linda. So good. We actually might get a copyright strike for that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was so good.

[Morgan]

So good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. When I was in elementary school in Mississippi, this one girl did a tap routine to it.

[Morgan]

Oh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And when I tell you she ate.

[Morgan]

I'm sure she did.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She ate. She came out in all black. Obviously.

[Morgan]

Mission Impossible, you have to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

With a ski mask. And she lifted that mask and she tapped like her life depended on it.

[Morgan]

As any good tapper does. I remember going to Walmart when I was young and they sold tap shoes there for a little bit. Ate shit in the aisle. Me. And tapping the shoes, I tried like tapping around the store in them and they're slippery little things.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was this with no training, though?

[Morgan]

No training.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's your problem. Have you revisited tapping since then?

[Morgan]

I have not turned into a horse girl, which is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't look like a horse. You don't look like a horse. Yeah, I'm half horse, half girl.

[Morgan]

Uh huh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's why you wear the blanket.

[Morgan]

I'm ready to get into this with you today.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's do it.

[Morgan]

Okay. Bob. Bob, Season eight, winner of Drag Race. Uh huh. You are a podcaster. Three at one time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

True.

[Morgan]

A writer. I got to tell you, I'm going to be honest. Okay, be honest again. I'm going to be honest. I started your book. This is my spot that I'm at. I'm like a third quarter of the way in. I wanted to cancel on you today so I could keep reading your book.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh my God, that's so sweet.

[Morgan]

I love it. No, it's so good. I didn't want to put it down.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, thank you.

[Morgan]

It's so good. You're hitting like such a insane historical figure, but from such a fun lens. It's just your writing, your style. I love it. I'm like, I need you to write 10 more books. This needs to become a musical.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm working on it, actually.

[Morgan]

It needs to be a musical. A movie. I know. Because you started it as a musical. Intended to be a musical.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Four years and here we go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know. It took me. Yeah. Four years for actually from the time I started. Started the. Got the book deal to the time I recorded the last words of the.

[Morgan]

Your AudioBook.AudioBook was five years. Wow. Yeah, it is definitely a labor of love. It comes across. You guys, you need to check out the book audio version if you can't read like Lea Michele.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And she proved she could read recently.

[Morgan]

I know. I saw.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Were you buying it?

[Morgan]

You know, I. I could see her still being a little.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She should have been like, google anything and I'll read it.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Like, it was a prepared card because.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She can obviously learn lines.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's been in movies and.

[Morgan]

Glee.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Movie.

[Morgan]

No. Glee. Glee. For how many seasons?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not a movie, though.

[Morgan]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Has Lee Michelle ever done a movie? Interesting question.

[Morgan]

I don't know. So funny enough, a lot of animated movies. Oh, has she animated, though? You know, you can go line by line.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is true.

[Morgan]

But you're in a. In a room.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But. But I feel like I've done a few voiceover gigs and you're normally reading as you do it.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Normally.

[Morgan]

You would know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would know. I've done a few.

[Morgan]

You would know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I haven't done a ton. I'm not like, you know, I'm not like, who's the guy? Like, what's the guy who does Family Guy?

[Morgan]

Oh, yeah. Seth McFarland. Seth McFarland.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm like, I don't have as many credits as him, but he's good. I've probably done more than I should have been doing. More than I'm actually, like, you know, good enough for. To be honest.

[Morgan]

No. Oh, stop.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I don't do any voices. Every voice I try to do, I think I'm gonna do a great job, but ends up sounding just like me.

[Morgan]

Do your. Do your best voice like your.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my. My number one.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's an impersonation.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you're going to try to. I'm going to read a chunk of my book as this person, so I'm not saying something they would say. And you have to tell me what. What. What it is.

[Morgan]

Okay. Don't lose my spot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In an age of miracles, where our greatest heroes from history have magically and unexpectedly returned to shake us out of our confusion and complacency. Harry Tubman is back.

[Morgan]

Okay, Obama.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She has a lot to. Obama.

[Morgan]

Okay, Obama.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

See, that was good.

[Morgan]

Yeah, you're good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's my one good one, though. I have some bad ones, too.

[Morgan]

I doubt it. I doubt it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're sweet, Morgan.

[Morgan]

Okay, our theme today, you know, a little thing about history.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm no historian. To be clear.

[Morgan]

You're no historian. But hey, I've learned a lot about Harriet Tubman thanks to you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you.

[Morgan]

Like the fact she had a gun but never actually shot anyone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She carried the Blicket.

[Morgan]

Never lost anyone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, if she did shoot anyone, it was probably during the Combahee river.

[Morgan]

Raids, which would have been.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But on her trip, she famously never shot anyone.

[Morgan]

No, I never lost anyone either.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Never lost a passenger.

[Morgan]

I know. I learned a lot from you. So you know a thing about history and maybe. Maybe some stories. That there's more history than meets the eye.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, now, when do I use this?

[Morgan]

When you see fit. Here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to at some point.

[Morgan]

Oh, I'll give you one. I'll tee you up. Okay, you ready?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And does that mean. Does that mean we don't talk about the thing, or does that mean we just acknowledge that it's a red flag and then we keep talking about it?

[Morgan]

Oh, you can talk about anything.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Especially the thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can they hear this?

[Morgan]

Some flag. Asmr.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

I like it. Okay, let's dive in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's dive in.

[Morgan]

This episode is presented by Duluth Trading. Hot summer days got you sweating. It's got me sweating. Don't let your clothes add to the discomfort. Duluth Trading is your go to for conquering the heat. They've engineered incredible summer tech clothing designed to help you thrive no matter how high the mercury climbs. Think gear with moisture wicking, buck naked underwear, dry on the fly that takes you from wet to dry in the blink of an eye. And the innovative Armachillo gear with its built in jade coolness, cranks cold where it counts. Find out more and gear up for [e-mail] my hometown brand. Okay, this first one coming from, Am I the asshole subreddit that people go to to tell you not to run?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The asshole. Okay, I exist on Reddit, okay? And I gotta be honest, rodeo, I'm in some really. I'm in some really toxic.

[Morgan]

Ooh, what are you on?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not proud of myself.

[Morgan]

Oh, you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm in fight porn.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you know fight porn?

[Morgan]

No. I'm curious.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Fight porn is just fight videos of people fighting.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, just people fighting. It's just people fighting. But then there's a subcategory in there called Rocked Hard, and Rocked Hard is when someone probably suffered a little bit of brain damage.

[Morgan]

Okay, you are showing me a side of Reddit I've never seen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm also on Nature is Metal.

[Morgan]

What's this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Nature is Metal is like. It's like a lion who got into a fight and it's just a photo of them and all you see is like they don't have a jaw because they lost. They maybe won the fight, but they lost their jaw, not Simba. But then they'll end up passing away because they can't eat anymore. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Jesus Christ.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The other one that I'm in, that's pretty bad is. This was pretty bad.

[Morgan]

Oh no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This one might be the worst one.

[Morgan]

Oh my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's called Hold My Feeding Tube. Hold My Feeding tube is when something really bad has happened to you and you will probably have lifelong injuries from it.

[Morgan]

This is so niche. There's only two 3K members and hold My Feeding Tube.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh my God. Yeah, it'll be like someone who like.

[Morgan]

Holy shit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, there it is. Yeah, that's a typical Hold My Feeding Tube really.

[Morgan]

Oh my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Describe what you're seeing to the people.

[Morgan]

It looks like a tall ass electrical power pole, like the tallest one you can find. And this person decides to base jump off of it with a tiny parachute and the parachute does not open.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyway, that's where I live on Reddit. And of course you're Paul's Drag racing Traders.

[Morgan]

I thought I was demented.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I'm twisted, you know, And I'm not proud of myself, but I can't help it. I'm just on those Reddits all the time, like non stop.

[Morgan]

I was worried about going too hard on you today. You are so fucked. You're going to fit right in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're not going to need this.

[Morgan]

You're wearing it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I am the red flag.

[Morgan]

Okay, this first one, am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend that she's a bad writer and should be ashamed for charging people for her books?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, before you even read it, I just want to say it started off not bad, then it just went. It went far. Like, ashamed is crazy. Let's. Let's hear it though.

[Morgan]

I, male, 35, am a very honest person. My girlfriend Sam, female, 30, and I have been together for eight months. Sam told me she's a writer, but she's never showed me any of her work. She's not rich by any means drag her, but she does make enough to live rather comfortably. I've asked multiple times and she's eventually agreed to show me one of her books. I was excited, but soon my excitement turned to disappointment. It was awful. Some trashy romance novel with shitty writing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus.

[Morgan]

Apparently she's published 20 of similar ones and they sell well. I Was shocked. I told her that I'm sorry, but her writing was bad. She said it's not bad, just average. That she knows she's not the best writer, but it's the plot that matters and she has an editor. I said it's still bad and she should be ashamed that she charges people for that. She got all mad and called me a prick and told me she wanted to be left alone. I don't know what I've done wrong and she knows I'm an honest person. My sister thinks I was an asshole, but I'm confused. My girlfriend should know the truth and find a career path that will work for her and one that she'll be good at. Am I the asshole?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, yes. The answer is yes, this person is. This man is an asshole.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because it seems like saying you don't think the writing is good, that's truthful.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Saying you should be ashamed that you are selling this and that people are actually buying it is where you're just going too far. Like, there's no. What it sounds like is this is not your cup of tea.

[Morgan]

Exactly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And baby, it's not a cup of tea, don't drink it. But I don't think you need to be going around telling everyone that you think that their writing is so bad they should be ashamed of themselves. Now I will say this. Are you. What are his credentials?

[Morgan]

Are you an editor?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Are you. Are you. Are you. Are you a literary. Do you publish? Are you a publisher? Are you a literary critic? Are you. Has anyone ever paid you to critique things? Because it sounds like your girlfriend is a published author who pays her bills and has over 20 books and is like literally living her dream as a writer and paying her bills through that. And you're just some guy who doesn't know anything about writing and is critiquing someone who's actually successful in their career.

[Morgan]

Exactly. 20 books, that's no easy feat. I can't imagine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you think he's the asshole?

[Morgan]

Oh, 100% I think he's the asshole.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But it's okay to. If she says, what do you think? Then I would probably. Okay, this is me. You ready? You're my girlfriend. You're a 30 year old female. I'm a 35 year old male.

[Morgan]

Let's go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ready? You ready? Oh, babe, you're. Thank you for letting me finish your book.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I'm glad you read it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I did. I read it. Yeah, I read the whole thing.

[Morgan]

What'd you think?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, the book. I just Read?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, you know, I don't think it's a book I would ever buy.

[Morgan]

I'm not into, like, fairy porn doesn't do it for you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, no, no, no, no.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do like fairy porn.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think it's maybe the way you. Maybe it's the point of view that you wrote it from. One of my favorite books, actually. Fairy Twinks Get Pounded. It's actually one of my all time favorite books and it's really good, actually. Can I recommend it? Do you mind reading it?

[Morgan]

I'll take some notes. Yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I think some notes. If you were trying to reach an audience like me, then I would say maybe take some notes from this. From this author who. Who writes the kind of stuff that I like to write. I like to read.

[Morgan]

I appreciate you reading it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. And do you do. Are you interested in doing any audiobooks for it?

[Morgan]

I. Yeah, I'd be interested because you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do have a beautiful voice.

[Morgan]

Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I think your voice is quite sensual. And I think that that would give a even bigger audience to it.

[Morgan]

That would really sell.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I am trying to get into reading audiobooks.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

See, that's a much nicer way to say it. Right.

[Morgan]

Tact. Have a little tact.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not that I'm known for tact. No. But I can recognize when someone else doesn't have it too.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah. No, he's definitely off his fucking rocker. He actually was so mystified that his girlfriend is a published author, he goes into another subreddit. Okay. He goes to R slash Writing and goes and posts. My girlfriend claims she published 20 books. How possible is that? This man does not believe.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Has he listened to. Has he named her no names so her fans aren't coming in being like, don't you. Don't you dare come for, you know, J.R.R. tolkien?

[Morgan]

Nope. No name.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you have any authors that you love? Besides Bobby Dracula?

[Morgan]

Yeah, besides you. Honestly, I have been out of the reading game for a while, which is why I was really excited to read your book.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I got you back in the game.

[Morgan]

Because I. I actually was like, really? I, like. That's why I was, like, about to cancel on you. Cause I'm like, okay, wait, I can't put this book down. Like, I do love reading. I kind of went through, like a reading burnout phase, so I haven't really read anything in a while. I, like, read the new Hunger Game book recently.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I heard it was good.

[Morgan]

It was pretty good. Being stuck with a very tight plot line and the way she worked around it. And like, added so much detail. It was really good. But your book, I mean, you're approaching like, for me, as a white woman, like, it's. It's a topic that like, could feel very out of my depth, but you make it so comfortable to like dive in and you approach it from such an interesting creative lens. I really was impressed with the whole concept of your book and how like this return and it's. It's really magical.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Much better writer than this guy's shitty girlfriend.

[Morgan]

Exactly. I mean, 20 and I've only got one. Hey, hey. It's just the beginning. Just the beginning.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're garbage. I'm kidding.

[Morgan]

You know, you can have a whole spin off on this, on this concept.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You never know. You never know.

[Morgan]

I think you could.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So. So what, what are, what are people's responses to, you know, the writing?

[Morgan]

Subreddit overall Vote Asshole. Top comment on this one. Another brutally honest person who is just an asshole.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, for sure.

[Morgan]

She's living comfortably off of just writing. And Opie has the nerve to tell her, find something that will work for her. Yeah, that's insane, because a 35 year old man doesn't enjoy a trashy romance novel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe, maybe he was like, when I say, makes a living, she's fully an accountant. He's like, oh, I didn't say from the writing. She's fully. She's fully a cpa. No. Yeah, this guy, this guy is an asshole. And honestly, I think that that is a red flag and she should break up with him because he's. Honestly, he sounds jealous and I have a sneaking suspicion that he's not working in his dream career.

[Morgan]

No, I don't understand. Too, like, this guy is clearly a hater. Why are you gonna date your haters?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, sounds pretty. Yeah, I do a podcast with my hater and I don't recommend it. Monet Exchange is my. Is my inner saboteur. Oh, 100%.

[Morgan]

Does that get a little dicey for you sometimes?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, the podcast called Sibling Rivalry, all we do is argue.

[Morgan]

Oh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So yeah, all we do is scream each other. But she's my best friend, though. She's actually not a hater. She's actually. She loves me a lot, but she is kind of low key. A hater, though.

[Morgan]

I mean, a hater or just being brutally honest. There is a difference.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, she's a hater.

[Morgan]

This guy. Hater.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet's a hater.

[Morgan]

Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's a hater for sure.

[Morgan]

Sibling. You talk about sibling, though. This next one's got a sibling in It.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, let's listen.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have any siblings?

[Morgan]

I've got three siblings.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And let me guess, you're not the oldest or the youngest. Your second oldest.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You give off the vibe.

[Morgan]

Boy. Oldest. Me, younger brother, younger sister, two and two. Crazy dynamic, though. Me and my brothers have the same mom, my little sister, we have the same dad. And then, like, both my brothers have other siblings through. We have a really crazy web.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I am both the oldest child and the youngest child. I'm my mother's youngest. I'm my father's oldest.

[Morgan]

Ooh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I'm two years younger than my older brother, and I'm 21 years older than my youngest brother.

[Morgan]

That's an interesting little dynamic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Very interesting.

[Morgan]

21 year age gap. Did you hate your little brother?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't meet him till he was 14, actually.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I love him. Oh, see, he is. I love that I get to be an older brother. It is. So I thought I'd be the baby forever.

[Morgan]

That's so good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now I turned 21, I got to be an older brother. It's so exciting.

[Morgan]

Okay. That's amazing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He just took me to the red carpet of I got an award at bet. And we look so cute. We look so adorable.

[Morgan]

Wait, okay. I think I saw the video. He's got, like. He had braids, little locks. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I was like, he's a cutie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's my little brother.

[Morgan]

He's really cute.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's 18, so calm down.

[Morgan]

He does not look 18.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's 18, so don't. Don't. I don't call the sound the sirens.

[Morgan]

Hey, I'm engaging.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Here come the sirens.

[Morgan]

I just seem to look cutie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is Hollywood. Everyone's open here.

[Morgan]

No, my older brother, we have an eight year age gap. He hated my guts. Like, hated my guts until I was like, in college.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're engaged? When I married.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Wedding, September.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is a rock. You get this to comment a lot.

[Morgan]

Well, we're in la, so I feel like for here it's people like, that's it. I have gotten that before.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What does he do?

[Morgan]

He's in music. He actually.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's so vague. He could be doing. He could be working the front desk at Sony. Or he could be like, you could be fully dating Drake.

[Morgan]

No, Drake. No. Kendrick. He's a artist, producer, kind of dabbles in everything. He actually introduced me to your purse first music video.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Morgan]

He, like, started saying it on an episode.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, he's gay. Okay, okay. Oh, he's gay. Okay.

[Morgan]

No, but he's just like. He's like this was such a. A cultural moment. So he introduced me to purse first and he actually, I asked him. I was like, wait, have you worked with Bob? Because he did Hulu's Hulu extravagance with Monet X Change. He did all the music for that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I was not in that though.

[Morgan]

Did your hair. Did your hater block your blessing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't get invited. No, I was. I was doing the Madonna tour. I was busy that day.

[Morgan]

Okay, Hulu.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I'm available this year, so please, please go.

[Morgan]

Go Bob. Okay, this next one coming from R. Overreacting. Am I overreacting? Three days old. It is titled am I overreacting for refusing to attend my sister's rebirth party.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, off the rip. I'm just gonna say. No, off rip. I'm gonna say your sister's asking a lot, but go ahead.

[Morgan]

So my sister has always been into weird stuff. Crystals, astrology, raw milk. But last year she took some kind of hallucinogenic frog venom at burning man, had a full breakdown and came back calling herself Obsidian Womb Fox. This is not a joke. She legally changed it from Lindsay to her email signature. Even says quote, born again now with more ancestral knowing. Anyways, she recently sent out wax sealed invitations for her rebirth party.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's so camp. Honestly. Obsidian, you ate that one. Wax sealed.

[Morgan]

Obsidian, you're eating an event she's hosting in our parents backyard to celebrate the one year anniversary of her ego death.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will say this, it sounds like Obsidian lives in her parents home.

[Morgan]

The invite was wild. It asked guests to dress in uterine tones, said the party would begin at sunrise or when the hawk signals and promised, quote, a journey through the sacred canal of transformation. I didn't know what any of that meant, but I figured, hey, it's just one morning. Maybe there's a mimosa or something. Then my cousin sent me the full itinerary. She got through a private group chat. I was left out because I made a placenta joke once and I got the boot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, wait, this person sounds kind of funny.

[Morgan]

Apparently the main event involves my sister being reborn from a paper mache uterus while a fully grown man named Curtis, who she found on Craigslist, pretends to be her womb. Like she's literally crawling out of him while he moans and plays a Tibetan singing bowl. The finale includes her cutting a red ribbon umbilical cord, screaming I am rewoven. And then doing a primal dance in a giant inflatable kiddie pool full of coconut oil. I told her I wasn't going. I was respectful about it. Just said, quote, hey, I love you, but I'm not comfortable watching you get fake birthed by a guy in a spandex bodysuit. She flipped out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It doesn't sound very reborn.

[Morgan]

Said I was refusing to support her second becoming, that I still see her as a linear being, and that I'm chained to the masculine lie of the Gregorian calendar. Now my mom is upset, my aunt says I'm being closed minded, and my uncle is going, but only because there's going to be a taco truck and apparently you get free lapis lazuli bracelet with every birthing. So, Reddit, am I overreacting because I'm not wanting to attend my adult sister's backyard rebirth where a Craigslist guy acts as her womb?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, Ms. Wolfox is an icon. It's gonna say that up close. I do think I'm gonna clock this one. I think this might be a lie. And this is why I. It would be. Obsidian seems like someone who is quite theatrical and it seems weird that she would give out every single detail of what's going to happen. Like literally down to the kiddie pool and the coconut oil. Like, why would that be in the invite? Like, that sounds like he made this. Or she does have the person's gender, no mention. Well, it sounds like this person made this up about their sibling, if they.

[Morgan]

Even exist to shit on them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And also the writing is quite clever and this person's funny.

[Morgan]

You know, there are some poets on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Reddit, so I believe it's made up, but let's just go off the notion that it's not made up, it's real.

[Morgan]

And I'm not missing it for the fudgeing world.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would absolutely go do it for the plot. Yeah, I would go if you don't want to go. I mean, who cares? Like, I don't go to stuff. I don't want to go to do.

[Morgan]

It for the plot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will say this. I do love saying no to things.

[Morgan]

Do you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's so much power in saying I say no to things I want to do because I love saying no more than I love doing things sometimes.

[Morgan]

I mean, I love staying home and just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I want people to know that I will say no.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I want people to know that.

[Morgan]

Just you have that power.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Still does not mean I will do it.

[Morgan]

Oh, well, God, I feel like I.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don'T say no to things that I absolutely want to do because I really want to maintain that that exclusivity Exactly. But that being said, I would go to this.

[Morgan]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are they free? Are the tacos at the truck free? Yeah, they're free tacos.

[Morgan]

Free tacos.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You also, I guarantee you the other people in your family find this ridiculous. You could also kiki and cut up with your aunt about Obsidian's rebirthing.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do think you should be calling her Obsidian because that's her name now.

[Morgan]

Obsidian's pretty. It's not bad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

People can change their names. You gotta hear the words. Maybe you love Lindsay the name Lindsay Moore, but her name is Obsidian now. I prefer get with the program also.

[Morgan]

They get a bracelet, you get a.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Free bracelet, you get free tacos, you get a show. It sounds great. I will say this, Obsidian does sound a little bit unbearable.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Maybe a little too much frog venom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. Was saying stuff like, you're just too connected to Gregorian calendar. Yeah, bitch. That's when I'm supposed to show up at things. So when I. When I ask people what date is a show and they say June 3rd, I'm just gonna go on June 3rd. Yeah, I know it's the Gregorian calendar, but I want. I don't want to use whatever calendar you using and then you end up missing shit. Because you know how to do it.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So Obsidian does seem a little bit insufferable. But if this were my sister and I was free, I would go.

[Morgan]

I would too. I would go just to see it all. I mean, where else are you going to get this free entertainment?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, in Silver Lake, they do. Oh, my God. There's got to be a rebirthing party in Silver Lake every couple of weeks. This sounds like.

[Morgan]

Can you have one? I feel like you would do it, right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If I had a rebirthing party. My God, I feel like it would be a show. Yeah, I feel like there'd be some stand up comedy attached to it. And then I would definitely do some sort of a drag number where I. Do you know who Leigh Bowery is?

[Morgan]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Leigh Bowery did a performance at Wigstock years ago where he came out and gave birth to a woman on stage. See, when I tell you, it's brilliant. Leigh Bowery was walking around Wigstock for hours in this. What looked like a pregnancy suit. Fat suit almost. It didn't even look pregnant. It looked like, like, it looked like maybe like a fat suit, but like, Leigh Bowery's walking around in this giant outfit for hours.

[Morgan]

Wait, is this it? This brown suit?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Leigh Bowery, live birth. And then after wearing this, this, like giant suit all day, Leigh Bowery gets on stage, lays down, performs all youl Need Is Love by the Beatles while singing it live. And then a fully grown woman, not a small woman, a fully grown, maybe five, seven woman, crawls out of his crotch.

[Morgan]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's butt naked.

[Morgan]

How long was she in there?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hours.

[Morgan]

All day hours. How did Lee carry this person?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Lee was a big man. Lee was a big, strong man.

[Morgan]

But still, this doesn't sound like no easy feat. Yeah. What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then he bit the umbilical cord himself and then continued singing all year.

[Morgan]

Did you say bit it? Bit it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yep.

[Morgan]

Was it made out of licorice?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wasn't there, but it looked like meat. Oh, it looked like maybe like pig intestines maybe. Have you found the picture?

[Morgan]

Yeah. What are we doing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you show pictures on screen? Do they know?

[Morgan]

Yeah, this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty iconic. It's pretty iconic.

[Morgan]

I just, like, don't understand how he made the crotch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's upside down. Oh, I forgot to say that part. She's upside down.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you probably type in diagram. There's actually drawings of how it works, I think. Yeah, she's upside down. On his person. Yep, that's it.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. They're like 6 9ing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. For hours.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. I would not want someone to have my crotch in their face that long.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What if I. Yeah, me either.

[Morgan]

What if I toot?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who would want to put your face in someone's crotch for hours?

[Morgan]

For hours.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who would want that? That would be crazy. What?

[Morgan]

Okay, Bob, you have more endurance than the average bear fog. No, thanks. Sweaty ball sack in my face. No, just, you know. No. I don't know. Maybe some baby powder. Morgan, you got some endurance. My activity tolerance is not that great. I like starfish mode most days.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I am. I am an active participant.

[Morgan]

Okay, I love that for you. What do you think the top comment is on this one?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. So there's a. Is there a voting on this as well?

[Morgan]

Am I overreacting? So it's kind of like a yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think most people are saying, yes, you are reacting. It sounds like an exciting event to go to. That's what I think is saying yes, you're reacting.

[Morgan]

Top comment. You're going to take a deep breath, sit down, and send her a message. Quote, hey, I thought better and I must be there. You are my sister and I love you. Don't take back what you actually think and tell no lies. Why are you going to do that? Not because a random Reddit user said so. But because deep in your soul, you must know that it's going to be the event of the century of your family. Stay near Uncle Taco and just absorb everything to tell the story for grandkids. Yours, hers, whomever. It must be witnessed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I agree. By the way, Obsidian fully wrote that herself.

[Morgan]

Obsidian.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's like, signed, Obsidian Wolfox. We found your. We found your burner account. Obsidian. Nice try.

[Morgan]

Womb Fox.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, it's Womb Fox.

[Morgan]

Womb.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh. Even more iconic.

[Morgan]

I like Wolf Fox.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wolfox is a great name, but Womb Fox is. Is more ridiculous, which is why I like it more.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. Someone needs to, like, make this their. Their bit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do feel like, since he's told everyone. This is also why I think it's fake. Because he included her name.

[Morgan]

Obsidian.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Her whole name. He included her first and last legal name.

[Morgan]

Do you think that's real?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was like, I am doxxing my sister. And just in case there's two Obsidian Womb Foxes. She used to be Lindsay. Like, he's literally being like, go find my sister.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I don't believe. Is there an Obsidian wound Fox on. On Instagram.

[Morgan]

I'm looking.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Otherwise, this person made the story up. Great writing, though.

[Morgan]

You know, I'm fully. I'm invested.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would say it would make a great episode of, like, Broad City.

[Morgan]

Oh, there is a couple different things. Obsidian Womb, alchemy and magic. Okay, so maybe this is like more of a thing. It's. It is for women who are ready to be raw in their vulnerability, be naked in their truth and be strong in their power.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's a sex club. That is a sex club.

[Morgan]

That's hiding.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You started for sure.

[Morgan]

This is their logo. It's a uterus. And there's a red fallopian tubes. Yeah. Ovaries of burning fire in the loins.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. This seems. Yeah. Maybe this is real. Maybe I. Maybe I jumped too soon.

[Morgan]

I think you're being a little bit of a. Of a skeptic. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Obsidian. I apologize.

[Morgan]

I think Obsidian's on some real. Some real.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ms. Womb Fox. I want to apologize and I'm sorry that I missed your rebirthing.

[Morgan]

We can register to join right here. Just one click and where are they at?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where are they located?

[Morgan]

It's giving.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If it says Silver Lake, I'm gonna just fall out.

[Morgan]

It's giving. British. I don't know why.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Of course. Rebirthing through the canal.

[Morgan]

I need to know where this is. Now I won't sleep. This is her. This is about Joe Bell Cummings. This is the woman behind It.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, that's not. That's not obsidian, though.

[Morgan]

I was born under a Libra sun and a Taurus moon, I predominantly descend from the lands of Scotland and the Orknary Islands. The Middle East, England and northwestern Europe.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are the Canary Islands? No.

[Morgan]

I don't know. She's a temple keeper, a friend, a seeker, a student. I'm not seeing where she's not including.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

As a certified bonafide freak, I have the feeling that this woman would fuck your socks off.

[Morgan]

Mine?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, probably you if you. If you'd be.

[Morgan]

But I dare if I dabble.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're engaged. You're super closed off. You're not open to anything, you know.

[Morgan]

Never say never to a threesome. That's fine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you had a threesome with your fiance?

[Morgan]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that a man?

[Morgan]

Mm. Time just hasn't presented itself yet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who's older? You and him? How old is he?

[Morgan]

31. I'm older by six months and he doesn't let me forget it. Cougar.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where's a red flag?

[Morgan]

Cougar. Cougar. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Talk Space is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anywhere at any time. Now more than ever, it's really time to take control of your mental health. Because you know what? The world can feel uncertain and out of control at times, but one thing you do have control over is taking care of your mental health. Talkspace makes it easy to start. Just like your physical body needs exercise, your mental health needs maintenance and attention. The better your mental health, the better your physical health and vice versa. Talkspace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a zero dollar copay. And here's the really good news. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.com THT and enter promo code SPACE80. That's S, P, A, C, E80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com THD and enter promo code SPACE80. Okay, this next one I think you're gonna have some interesting takes on. Okay, it's coming from Today I Fucked up eight hours old, titled Today I fucked up by telling my girlfriend's grandma to, quote, shut up and eat it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to say, off, rip. I'm on this. I'm on his side. Okay, off rip. I'm on his side. Because sometimes old people will be thinking they can get away with shit because they're old.

[Morgan]

Ooh, I thought you were going to come in with a. Respect your elders. Take.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Respect my elders.

[Morgan]

I know. I don't know why.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't give a fuck about people. Because they're old.

[Morgan]

Okay, good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Being old is not enough for me to respect you.

[Morgan]

I hate how many people use old as an excuse to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, you got to do more than live long to. To earn respect.

[Morgan]

Okay, this one. My girlfriend, 25, female, invited me to her big family dinner and warned me in advance that her grandma is 93, hard of hearing, and loves asking people what's in the food. She just told me to just smile and repeat things if needed. We're having lasagna. And grandma kept asking, what's this? Over and over again. Eventually, I tried to be funny and said jokingly, quote, shut up and eat it, Grandma. The table went silent. Apparently, she's not that hard of hearing, and apparently shut up is a huge deal in their family. Her mom gasped. Her uncle choked on a breadstick. Grandma blinked and muttered, well, I never. And refused to eat another bite. I apologize.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

For the rest of her life. For the next 30 minutes of her hunger struggle. She's 93 years old.

[Morgan]

30 minutes is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She didn't have much time left.

[Morgan]

I apologized profusely, but it was rough. My girlfriend didn't talk to me the entire drive home.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. I thought that grandma was, like, asking questions that were none of her business. What's in the food? Is a fully valid question.

[Morgan]

Is this turkey lasagna? Beef lasagna? What are we working with here?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So if grandma's like, what's in the lasagna? I be like, girl, is meat tomato sauce, pasta and onions.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And garlic, some cheese. Just keep saying it.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what I mean. But I. I also know what it's like to take a joke too far. I have misread the room several times and be like, this is going to kill.

[Morgan]

What's the one that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then it just killed the.

[Morgan]

That haunts you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know. There's one that haunts me. Oh, I do know the. I'm actually afraid to say it because I don't want people to turn on me again.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I'm genuinely afraid to say it.

[Morgan]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, it. It really.

[Morgan]

It's not bad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm. I'm actually.

[Morgan]

Yeah, you don't have to go there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I want to tell you. But I don't want them to get on me.

[Morgan]

Well, we'll cut.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll put it to you this way.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I Was taking requests. And then as a bit, as a joke, the audience kept naming. Naming this. They would name artists, and I would kind of read the artist.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would say something about that artist. They mentioned this one artist. And then I said that this artist is a glorified backup dancer. When I tell you, they turned on me, like the room. It took me like 10 to 20 minutes just to get them back on my side. I will not tell you who it was. I will not give you any hints at who it was. You all can comment below who you see, who you think it is, but it was definitely someone.

[Morgan]

Someone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Someone who's quite beloved, obviously.

[Morgan]

Obviously. 20 minutes to get a room back.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was like half my show. Over half my show. The show was like an hour and a half.

[Morgan]

Were you doing 90 minute sets?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was under half my show. No, I would do like an hour and a half, two hours.

[Morgan]

That's a long. See, you do have some stamina. Look at you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It really laughs with the best of them. Wait, can I tell you. I'll tell you who it was, but you bleep it.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You promise you'll bleep it?

[Morgan]

I will fucking bleep it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't play with me.

[Morgan]

I'm not playing with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, wow. The room literally just gasped like, they turned on me again. This is why I was afraid to say it. But honestly, to be clear, I love her. It was a joke. It was just a joke.

[Morgan]

No one's gonna know it's bleeped.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's an icon, okay. She's an icon, okay. I never understood families who. Who take shut up so seriously. I never got em.

[Morgan]

Shut up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Shut up. One of my favorite phrases, and it's just so beautifully crafted, is shut the fuck up.

[Morgan]

It just has a ring to it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Shut the. Shut the fuck up. I don't know who was the first person to say shut the fuck up, but I know they were like. As soon as they said, they were like, I ate. I ate with that one.

[Morgan]

You know you have another one, though, that, like, you were clapping back at someone on TikTok. And this might be better than shut the fuck up. Eat my ass after Chipotle. That. That. I'm like, I'm pulling that one out someday.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do, like, eat my ass at the Chipotle.

[Morgan]

I'm beat my ass at the Chipotle. All you little haters in the YouTube comment, guess what? Eat my ass after Chipotle.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do. I forgot about that. That is a banger of mine.

[Morgan]

That's a good one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you.

[Morgan]

That's a good one. Also, what's the best hand to slap a hoe with? I mean, just your little.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the best hand? I'm pretty quick with it.

[Morgan]

You're quick.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're quick, if I may say so myself. And I will give myself a comment before anyone else does.

[Morgan]

As you should, for sure. And you're self aware. I mean, you're just telling it how it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know how self aware I am, but.

[Morgan]

Top comment on this one. Never go into sarcasm with people you do not know really well. You'll look awkward at best, totally dumb and aggressive at worst.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that person did fuck up. I've been there before, but usually with someone that I'm trying to build a rapport with, and then I just read them wrong and I'm like, oh, they'll love this. Because I love this. But sometimes I'll test the waters. Be like, is this person someone that I can really let loose with? I've definitely done that before. I've been like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I assume this is someone who I could really be myself with.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But turns out we're actually on a more. What do you call it? Like a.

[Morgan]

More of a professional. Almost like a quaint. Yeah. I'll tell you something to make you feel comfortable.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is there something you like that other people do not like?

[Morgan]

I dip my Wendy's chicken nuggets into Frosties.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. I put my Oreos in water.

[Morgan]

I put my chocolate cake in a bowl of milk, and then afterwards eat the. The soup.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, that makes sense, though.

[Morgan]

So good. People. People think it's disgusting, though. They're like, why would you make your cake soggy? I'm like, because it's good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, a Trace Leche's cake is soggy. See, I really love a chocolate chip muffin with water. Like, not like, I don't dunk it like a maniac, but I'll, like, bite and sip and bite and sip. Something about, I think the muffin is just so rich, the water kind of, like, dulls it in a way that is good. And I just love a dense chocolate chip. Like a big fat muffin.

[Morgan]

Sounds so good right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I want to say out loud, too, those of you out there who are asking, what's the difference between a muffin and a cupcake? You fucking know. Like, I'm so sick of this conversation. You know the difference between a muffin and a cupcake? And if you give me a cupcake without icing I won't confuse it for a muffin. I'll taste it.

[Morgan]

You'll taste it? No, you taste it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is a cupcake. It's cake without icing.

[Morgan]

This is cake versus more of a bread.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you try to put icing on a muffin, I'll be like, why did you put icing on this muffin?

[Morgan]

That's like trying to say banana bread could be a piece of cake.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Y' all are out of control. You know the difference between a cupcake and a muffin? This is not a.

[Morgan]

If you want to take, though, some people would consider that a really hot take.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What, that there's no difference?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, that there is a difference. Yeah. It's not a hot take. This is a lukewarm take at best. Like, if you want to have a thought provoking conversation, ask yourself, like, are there more doors or wills in the world? That's a conversation that could go on and on forever. No one knows the answer to that. Although everyone thinks everyone has a definitive answer.

[Morgan]

I would say wheels. Like, everything is a wheel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, how many wheels are in this room?

[Morgan]

Limitless. I mean, I could pull this off of my mic stand and it could be a wheel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It could. But it also could be a door.

[Morgan]

I could be a wheel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Based on. Based on that. This could be a door I'm walking through. Like, everything could be a will and could be a door. But we know for a fact.

[Morgan]

Is this some chicken versus egg bullshit?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's a door. That's a door. Also, when you close and open your cameras, are those doors.

[Morgan]

That is a door. Every car in the parking lot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Every car in the parking lot has four wheels. But. But a lot of them also have five doors.

[Morgan]

And the hood could be a six.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And the hood could be a door. Every building full of doors filled with doors. And in the parking garage in the building full of doors. The glove box door, the side thing door.

[Morgan]

I'm gonna have nightmares about this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are more. I think there are more doors in your. Do you live in an apartment building or a house?

[Morgan]

I'm in a little house with her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Big ring in her house.

[Morgan]

No, it's a baby house with her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Giant ring in her. Her fiance.

[Morgan]

These cougars out here getting crazy horses in my backyard.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have horses in your backyard?

[Morgan]

Yeah. You can come over and see them right down the street.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm afraid of horses. We talking about this today? I don't like horses. What? They're scary? No, they're.

[Morgan]

No, they're.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's probably bigger than. Is it wave it probably weighs more than I do.

[Morgan]

Well, yeah, it's a horse.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

You're super skinny. What are you talking about?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, all right. Now you're just throwing out.

[Morgan]

He's like a thousand pounds. He's chubby.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm a little heavier than him, actually. Never mind.

[Morgan]

You'd like him. He'd like you. He's a cuddly little guy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it a Shetland?

[Morgan]

A Welsh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the difference?

[Morgan]

A Welsh is bigger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would I see it and think it was a Shetland?

[Morgan]

Probably.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Got it.

[Morgan]

Yeah, got it. But I have big ones too. Like I have three.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're a wealthy woman with experience. I like that. Yeah, you better work.

[Morgan]

This next one. We're getting into this. Some tea of it all.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Coming from relationship advice. Two days old. Not the person, the story.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm gonna go ahead and say it. Too young to be dating. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. Too young to be dating.

[Morgan]

This one is titled My Brother's Husband. This episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. Spring is here and wow, has it been busy. I've been doing lots of yard work, wedding planning, starting a new podcast and I don't really have a lot of time for meal planning, grocery shopping, and then also cooking. Which is why I love hellofresh. They take so many steps of having a good, delicious meal out of the equation. For me, HelloFresh makes meal times easy. They deliver fresh produce, seasonal snacks and treats, and delicious recipes straight to my door. And they even have ready made meals. These are chef crafted dishes that are ready to eat in three minutes and you're not sacrificing on taste, health or quality. Now this is right up my alley. Feel great with meals that fit your spring schedule and make the season even more delicious. Go to hellofresh.com hot takes 10fm now to get 10 free meals with a free item for life. One per box with active subscription free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. When I started this podcast, I had no idea how I was going to get merch in all of your hands. Shopify. They made it so easy to get a store set up and let you guys shop. Having a good partner is the key to success. And if you're running an e commerce business, Shopify makes a great business partner. They have the tools to start and grow your business from designing a website to marketing and beyond. Turn your big business idea into Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today. At shopify.com/tht is acting weird and possibly flirty with me and I'm really confused because he's gay. I'm 26 female brother's 29 male husband 29 male hi all throw away because my brother is on Reddit. I need some outside perspective because I feel like I'm going crazy. My brother Matt has been married to his husband Eric for about three years now. They've been together since college, and I've always liked Eric. He's smart, charming, a little sarcastic, and honestly one of the easiest people to get along with in our family. I've never had any issues with him until recently. Over the past couple of months, Eric's behavior around me has started to feel a bit off. It started subtly complimenting my outfits in ways that felt a little too lingering, or putting his hand on my lower back when there was absolutely no need to. I brushed it off as just him being overly friendly or tactile. He's always had kind of flirty energy, but it was never directed at me before. But then it escalated. A few weeks ago, Matt and Eric hosted a small birthday dinner for me at their place. It was just the three of us and a couple of friends. I wore a pretty basic outfit, jeans and a tank top. And when Eric opened the door, he said, quote if I weren't already gay and taken mm and looked me up and down. I laughed awkwardly, thinking he was just being ridiculous. But later that night he brought me a drink and said, quote careful. If you keep looking that good, you'll start giving me a crisis again. He's gay, married to my brother. I don't get it. Since then, he's texted me randomly at night, multiple times. They are not overtly inappropriate, but just weird things like thinking about that story you told the other night and cracking up again. You really light up a room. It feels like he's testing the waters, but maybe I'm reading too much into it. Matt hasn't noticed anything as far as I can tell, and I feel incredibly uncomfortable. I don't want to make a huge thing out of nothing, especially because they're my family, but this doesn't feel like nothing anymore. I keep second guessing myself because Eric is gay, not attracted to women at all. Right? I shouldn't be feeling creeped out, but I am. Is it possible he's just being playful and I'm misinterpreting it? Or is something else going on here?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to say you light up a room is a weird compliment to give someone because I feel like you only hear light up a room when someone's dead.

[Morgan]

Literally.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Really? Oh, she could really light up a room.

[Morgan]

Light up a room.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No one says, you light up a room when you're on this earthly plane. No one's like, morgan lights up a room.

[Morgan]

I mean, I would hope so, but I wouldn't be surprised.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When you die, they'll be like, morgan lit up a room. Anyway, that being said, okay, so I realized that I was pansexual, like, at 30. Like, I think I was like, oh, my attraction to women is probably not what I think it is. So there's a chance that this man is like, he's in his Saturn's return. Not that I believe in that stuff, but he is in that.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which when you start understanding more things about yourself, he is hitting on her 100%. He's hitting on her without a shovel. She probably looks like her brother. So he's into that.

[Morgan]

Oh, true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's in. He's like, man, if my brother was a girl right there, I could have both sides of him and her. You know what I mean?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What I would say is it could be a sassy gay man. If it was stuff like, girl, you gonna give me a crisis. But when it becomes like, texting, late night, you up text is crazy.

[Morgan]

Clearly on his mind.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah. That is kind of a you up text.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. He's trying to get it in one hundo, people for sure, you know? And any of your siblings gay? You want to out your siblings here on this podcast?

[Morgan]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're like, you don't out them or.

[Morgan]

No, I mean, they're I wish. Be fun, but no, sorry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I am the gay sibling. Are you a little gay?

[Morgan]

I feel like everyone is, which contradicts what I said about my brother.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So maybe everyone except my brother.

[Morgan]

I don't know. You know, I was just talking to a friend about this. Sexuality is very fluid, you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you ever hooked up with a girl?

[Morgan]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you ever looked at a woman and thought to yourself, I would like to bone that.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Which I feel like most like. And that's where I'm in my head. I'm like. I feel like most women think that, don't they?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you thought that she's like, no, no, you're gay. Oh, well, you guys are hitting on your fiance's sister.

[Morgan]

A recent discovery.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your sister's gonna walk in the room. You're gonna be like, damn, if I wasn't already married and straight.

[Morgan]

Well, lucky for the both of us, he's an only child.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, there it is. Has your fiance been on the podcast all the time. What's his name?

[Morgan]

His name's Justin.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's my brother's name. Wow. My brother is muscle.

[Morgan]

He said he was cute. Oh, other brother.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My younger brother's name is Caleb. My older brother. He's 41. Yeah, he's 41.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Too old for you.

[Morgan]

He's actually the first younger guy I've dated.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How old you've gone. Like, how much older than you?

[Morgan]

I think six years. Not. Not a huge age gap.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oldest guy I've ever. Well, I mean, hooked up with was probably, like, I was, like, 23, and he was, like, 60. Maybe, like, 56. Maybe.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, there was a guy I hooked up with who was, like. Who was definitely, like, 64 when I was, like, 25.

[Morgan]

How was that for you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was. Well, he wasn't a good hookup.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was a screamer.

[Morgan]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't mind. To be clear. I don't mind. I don't mind when someone's loud. I don't mind that someone's loud.

[Morgan]

No, but, like, screaming in pain or excited.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He said to me, just so you know, this is how long ago it was on Craigslist.

[Morgan]

I love Craigslist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's how long ago this was.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. I love.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just so you know, I'm a screamer. And I said, oh, okay. I thought he'd be like, I'm a little noisy when I come. When he. When we were having sex, he was not loud, but when he came, he was screaming, like, at the top of his lungs. It sounded like murder.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Morgan]

Did you leave immediately after?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I. In his defense, he prepped me. I was not prepared.

[Morgan]

No prep could have prepared you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I thought he meant, like, loud moaning.

[Morgan]

Yeah, no, that said I'm a.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And to be fair, if you are a loud moaner, you can't claim screamer status. Because I met a screamer.

[Morgan]

No, that's giving. I got my arm cut off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I know. I. I don't know him anymore. But, like, I have been in bed with a screamer.

[Morgan]

That's insane.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And this man was a screamer.

[Morgan]

That and death grip syndrome are like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's that?

[Morgan]

Where.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When the pussy grips up on the penis so tight.

[Morgan]

No, I love that. I'm teaching you something new. So there's this thing that once you get super desensitized, you have to, like, literally squeeze your dick like you're gonna break it in order to come. It's called Death grip syndrome. Like, your tolerance keeps going up and up to the point where, like, because.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You like to punish your penis.

[Morgan]

I don't know. I don't have one. I would love to for a day, but that's just not in the cards.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would like to have a vagina for a day.

[Morgan]

Just one day.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would trade with you.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We could do a little swaparoo.

[Morgan]

I'd be good. I just want to stand up and pee.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just want to. Well, I feel like whenever someone who doesn't have a penis, we always say, wants to know what it's like. They're always like, I want to pee with convenience. And whenever someone's a vagina, they're like, I want to get.

[Morgan]

I want to get.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're like, I'm getting drilled. And I feel like if you don't have a penis, like, I just want to see what it's like. And if you don't have a vagina, you're like, I want to get pummeled into the earth. I've never had anyone be like, I just want to know what it's like. They're always like. They're like, I need to get destroyed.

[Morgan]

Yeah, no, I definitely want to pump a few times, but, like, it's mostly about, like, the pee and, like, doing a windmill, you know, just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will say that peeing with a penis, to me, I think the penis is actually a pretty poor design.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, imagine if your ovaries are just hanging outside of your body. And by the way, extremely sensitive. Like, if you get punched in the balls, it hurts, but also, that will. Oh, my God. That'll ruin you.

[Morgan]

That's why everyone in high school would do the flick. They'd all run up to each other.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And stick the nuts. Ooh, that'll ruin your whole. Like, for the next couple hours, your stomach will start hurting.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And also when you're peeing, you just have your. Like, you ever. If you're in the bathroom, it just doesn't go into guys facing the wall with their genital, with their very vulnerable genitals exposed, with their back exposed to the. To the people, like, pissing. In theory, to feel safer, you should be peeing, facing people, more of a trough. But when you go into the bathroom in the women's restroom, all you're inside of a closet. The doors close. And even if does get crazy, you're facing the door.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Unless you're riding. Riding saddle. I don't think anyone ever rides the toilet saddle.

[Morgan]

Facing the door can be really Dangerous, though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

More dangerous than. You mean if they hit you in the face?

[Morgan]

Yeah. I have a friend that was a squat pee here. So she was leaning forward towards the door and someone busted in and broke her nose. Watch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think it'd be better to put your feet on the toilet and pee.

[Morgan]

Have you ever done a squat toilet in, like, Thailand or anywhere?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Never.

[Morgan]

Not once very. Yeah, you, like, squat over and just shit in the hole.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I feel like if I wasn't comfortable putting my butt cheeks on the toilet seat, I'd just stand on the toilet seat. I just put my feet on the toilet seat.

[Morgan]

I mean, people need to get over themselves and just sit the fuck down. It's so bad for your pelvic floor to squat and hover.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will say this. What I do is if I have to sit on the toilet seat, I just go to the paper towels, get some soap and water, and I actually give the toilet a good scrubbing.

[Morgan]

Oh, you wash?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I wash the toilet. I'll lift it up, I'll wash the seat, I'll wash the whole toilet.

[Morgan]

You lost me there, Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, the thing is, because you have to bear in mind, I'm sitting on the toilet less frequently than you are, so this is very rare for me.

[Morgan]

Is it someone's house or public bathroom?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I will sit on your. I will sit at your house and sit on the toilet.

[Morgan]

So you're cleaning public bathroom toilets?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will clean the public bathroom before I sit on it.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If I go to your house, I just trust that it's clean.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I really rocked your world here.

[Morgan]

What if you go to clean a public toilet and there's, like, splatter everywhere?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You just clean it.

[Morgan]

Your partner is over there and had an audible. Ugh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to be clear. You're talking about sitting on the toilets without cleaning them and I'm crazed for cleaning up piss bladder.

[Morgan]

No, you just use that little paper thing that they provide and you just put it there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just clean the toilet. You just give it a clean.

[Morgan]

I'm like, really scared right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But it's clean.

[Morgan]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How was cleaning dirty? How. How are you gaslighting me to believe that cleaning is now dirtier?

[Morgan]

A public restroom?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You don't have the proper tools. You don't have gloves.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have soap, I have water.

[Morgan]

You don't have gloves or a brush?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wash my hands.

[Morgan]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then I'll still put the thing down.

[Morgan]

You can't keep doing this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'll still put the thing down. No, I wash the toy Then I go wash my hands and then I go and poop.

[Morgan]

You know, they say politicians are public servants, but I'm the one who you are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them wear afros.

[Morgan]

You are a true public servant. Wow. And just think about the next person that goes into that stall and gets to have that clean toilet and not even know that it's because of you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Specifically, Bob the Drag Queen. I will say, though, if I'm pooping at a place where I don't want people to, like, know that I see you in there, I will put my feet up on the door, which will stop the door from opening if it does.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'm usually wearing shoes that are like, I know those shoes. Like, I don't have, like, a lot of Air Force ones. It's like these fucking. These are like some giant Crocs.

[Morgan]

I like those.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And my shoes are easy to clock.

[Morgan]

So they're going to nose you under the stall door. So you're really protecting your. Yourself.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So this one, you think? Definitely flirting. Got a crush?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, for sure. He wants to fuck his. His sister in law.

[Morgan]

How do you approach this? Do you go to your brother as.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A sister in law?

[Morgan]

Yeah, as this person. Like, do you go to him and you're like, hey, bitch, you role play. What do you do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm the sister, my brother in law.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hey, Dale, can I ask you, like, an odd question?

[Morgan]

Sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you think I'm sexy?

[Morgan]

Just out and open like that? Yeah. Yeah, I do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, not like, girl, you're sexy. Like, do you want to have sex with me?

[Morgan]

You're just hitting it right from. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you want to have sex with me?

[Morgan]

Yeah. I'm not that open and forward. I would have a hard time approaching him like that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're in the scene, Morgan. I need you to stay in the scene. Dale, do you want to have sex with me?

[Morgan]

I'm gay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So that's a no.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I'm just. I'm super gay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I've been witnessing some signals from you that seem like you want to have sex with me. Now this. I could be reading it wrong, but. And it's lately, like, I've known you for years.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is. I've known you for three years now, but lately you've been commenting on my body and I have been working out. I do look amazing. I have been changing the way I dress a little bit. I've been more confident in myself. But then, like, the late night text, it's giving. You want to have sex with me. And if that's not the case, I want you to know that's how I'm reading it and it does make me uncomfortable.

[Morgan]

I'll tone it down. Okay?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. That being said, you look really hot and fuckable right now, Dale. That being said would bang top comment on this one.

[Morgan]

I think what matters is that you're uncomfortable with his comments and actions. Trying to figure out his intent is secondary to the fact that you're not enjoying the type of attention from your brother in law. I agree with the person who said to ignore his late night texts and to respond his comments by bringing it back to your brother. If you don't reciprocate his energy, the most likely outcome is he stops. If he escalates instead, then your response will need to change. But as a first step, simply ignoring and redirecting may solve the problem without the need to accuse him of anything.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So not the way I said it?

[Morgan]

No. But maybe mine was the second comment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the second top comment? I'm kidding.

[Morgan]

We do have an update.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, what's the update?

[Morgan]

Uh huh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm all ears.

[Morgan]

Update. Hi again. This is the update I was hoping I'd never have to write. Thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. A lot of you validated what I was feeling, that something was off, and encouraged me to set boundaries. That gave me the courage to actually say something. Which led to. Well, this. I confronted Eric a few hours after my post. My plan was to just make it clear that whatever he thought he was doing needed to stop, that I wasn't comfortable and I didn't want things to get weirder. But the conversation went sideways fast. I told him that some of his recent comments had crossed a line and that while I wanted to believe it was harmless, it didn't feel that way anymore. He looked at me for a long time, didn't say anything, and then finally said, quote, I'm bisexual. He told me that in high school he had relationships with girls and that while he realized pretty early on he was mostly into men, he never stopped missing certain things about being with women. The way it felt, the different kind of energy. But then he met my brother in college, fell in love, came out fully, and figured that part of his life was just done. Except according to him, it never really went away. He said that being around me lately stirred something up and reminded him of what he used to feel with women.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because she looks like her brother.

[Morgan]

He said he wasn't trying to act on anything, but being near that Energy again made him feel alive in a way he hadn't in years. I was honestly stunned into silence. It felt like the floor dropped out from under me. I asked him flat out if he was attracted to me. He said no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But he said, not my type, you ugly slut.

[Morgan]

But said, put your boobs away. But said he saw me as the key to unlock a part of him he had hidden away.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's a user.

[Morgan]

I asked if Matt knew any of this. He said no. He thinks I've only ever been gay. I don't want to confuse him or myself.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not that fucking confusing.

[Morgan]

That's when I got angry because I realized this wasn't just about me feeling uncomfortable. This is a giant relationship shaking lie that could blow up my brother's life. I told him that this wasn't fair, that he doesn't get to use me to explore something he's been suppressing for years. That I love my brother and I wasn't going to be part of any kind of emotional affair, bisexual awakening or whatever this is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, can I jump in before I forget what I want to say?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Giant relationship shaking lie is crazy.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Finding out that your gay boyfriend is bisexual is not earth shaking. Now I will say this. Finding out that your straight husband is gay, that is earth shattering. Finding out that your gay boyfriend used to fuck girls is par for the course anyway. Sorry, continue. She's being a little overdramatic with that one, I think.

[Morgan]

Then I left. I didn't tell Matt yet. I'm sitting with it, trying to decide if it's even my place. I don't want to destroy his marriage, but I also don't think I can look him in the eye pretending everything's normal. I feel sick, I feel used. And I feel like I'm carrying a secret that isn't mine but could hurt someone I love deeply. That's the update.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The worst part is being told, not my type.

[Morgan]

Yeah, like, why are you flirting with me? Then?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's like, I'm flirting with it. Oh, he's like in his. He's like to his friends, like, I'm flirting with this ugly chicken to get back in front of the girls. But she's a. A real dog in the face.

[Morgan]

That's literally like someone hitting on you at the bar. And the minute you're like, hey, I'm taken. I'm not interested. And it's like, wasn't into you anyway, fatty. Like, it's like, then why were you talking to me and trying to get in my Pants.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I think that he's lying about not being attracted to her. I think he was playing the field. He's obviously comfortable keeping secrets from his partner. This man is a liar, and he wants to fuck his brother's sister.

[Morgan]

I also feel like, isn't that a normal thing? A part of any relationship? It's like, hey, you know, what if. What does your past look like? What have you done? Where have you been? Like, well, he lied. Yeah. And you have those conversations very early on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. He's. He's a liar. And. And I do understand her feeling used because he has used her to validate his sexual reawakening.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But if he wants to be reborn. Obsidian.

[Morgan]

Obsidian. Obsidian's got a plan right there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She has a website.

[Morgan]

Rebirth.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Go to Scotland. Climb to the womb. Go to the taco truck and eat some al pastor.

[Morgan]

I. Honestly, the more we talk about the womb, I want to go through it again. You know, I want to take the ayahuasca and really just. I want to try it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, you did it once.

[Morgan]

I watched her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Unless you were a C section baby.

[Morgan]

No, no, I was natural. No epidural. I think she was real wild.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Gangster.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Gangster mom.

[Morgan]

The top comment on the update. You have to talk to your brother. If you don't, he will feel betrayed that you knew something about his partner and relationship but didn't tell him. This will detrimentally impact you and him because he won't trust you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I actually feel a little different on that.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. As a rule, I do not tell my friends if I don't like their.

[Morgan]

Partners, even if they're really, really bad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you know your partner and, like, you know what I know this is two separate topics. I will not tell your. Tell you that I don't like your partner.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because I believe eventually it's going to end up ending, and then you will. You will be mad at me before you break up with the partner, and then you. Then I lose.

[Morgan]

It's always a kill the messenger and.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You'Ll lose your partner kind of vibes. You know what I mean?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I will tell you once you've broken up, I didn't like your partner, but I will not tell you why you're dating that I don't like your partner. I would. I would never do that.

[Morgan]

It's so hard, though, when they break up and you tell them, and then they get back together and you're like, oop.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But it's also not his partner's. That is sh. That is wild. But it's also not her job to out this man like you. No, it's not your job to out someone.

[Morgan]

It's also like, unless you find out he's cheating, like, he's just. He's just going through it. I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, yeah, he didn't cheat.

[Morgan]

He's not cheating. I feel like I would maybe be like, hey, you should probably talk to my brother about this. Like, I don't want to have this secret. This ain't. This ain't my mess. You need to tell him. It's better coming from you than me. I don't need to be the one stirring the pot and putting my foot in it. Not shooting me today. You need to talk to him. He's not going to care. You guys are married three years. Just don't cheat. Maybe ask if he's interested in a threesome and go about your merry way.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, and most gay guys are into.

[Morgan]

Threesomes, so there you go. Everyone could win.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Could be a win win all around.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Win, win, win. Because it's real.

[Morgan]

Win squared.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cubed.

[Morgan]

Cubed. Yeah. Yeah. See your mathy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, cubed is times three, but I guess one times three is three, so it is cubed.

[Morgan]

Well, it's like squared. It's minus 0.5.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, not times three is times itself. Three times.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Which is. What are those? No, numerators. What is. What are those. What are those called?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What I just did. The three times exponents.

[Morgan]

Yes. Exponential number. Yeah, no, that. No. I'm just not going to talk about math.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm over it and I might be wrong. Someone in the comments is cooking me. Some mathematician is cooking me up in the comments right now.

[Morgan]

You can't even get me started. I like, sometimes I go on Facebook still to go look at Marketplace place and you'll get like a post from a boomer where it's like, do this math equation. It's like some Pemdas shit. And you're like, okay, parentheses, exponents, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction. And it's like, which is the actual correct number? It's like, I didn't want to work this hard today.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would say Pemdas is pretty easy. It's just the order of operations. When you're.

[Morgan]

I'm going to show you the Pemdas Facebook post that I saw. It was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'll probably cook it up.

[Morgan]

It was triggering.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'll be like, boo, boo, boo, boo.

[Morgan]

I'm panicked. I'm not good at adrenaline. Adrenaline is rushing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not good at math.

[Morgan]

I'm. It's. I'm so bad. Like, 17 minus 5 freaks me out. I know this next story has. You know it 12.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. See?

[Morgan]

Okay, this next one has photographic evidence.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. Do I get to see it?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Morgan]

After I read it. Okay, so this is coming from Am I overreacting? It is titled am I Overreacting for Feeling Weirded out by My Boyfriend Having Scratches on His Back. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and he's never been a back scratcher. I found these on his back two separate occasions and he is always just as confused and nonchalant. This episode is brought to you by Cash App. When you've got to split a check, you just want it to be easy. But you know, sometimes it doesn't. Doesn't work out that way. You have to wait days for the money to finally show up in your account. Nobody's got time for that. It's your money. Or if you're like me, maybe you've accidentally sent money to the wrong person and had no way to get it back. Cash App is here to help. Cash App is the fast, safe and easy way to send and receive money. And it is super, super easy to set up. You just enter your phone or email. No bank account needed. There's no waiting around for days. It's your money. You shouldn't have to wait. And it is safe and secure. Cash App has your back. So if you're ready to try for yourself for a limited time, only new Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real. There's no catch. Just download Cash App and sign up. Use our exclusive referral code. Two hot takes in your profile. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right in your account. Terms apply. That's money. That's Cash App. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Just like choosing a carrot cake recipe, if you know you know State Farm has options to choose from to help you find coverage that best fits your needs. Sounds a lot easier than a coin flip. So talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. About it very dismissive. When I first asked him, he said he didn't know. I kept pressing the matter and he said it can't be regular scratches, and showed me a picture of what it would look like if someone scratches your back. So I was still confused because how does that make this better? Then he randomly goes up to his dog and says, did you scratch me Dog's name? And I go, how would she scratch you like that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did she leave out the dog's name?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Really trying to protect this dog.

[Morgan]

Anonymity for the dog. Like, what could you even be doing for that to happen? He then got really defensive. I then proceeded to say that she always cuddles in front of him, so it just didn't make sense. I'm confused where it came from and why he gets so defensive when I ask him that. Am I overreacting or is he being odd? These are not stretch marks. The camera doesn't capture how deep they actually are. Like, in some points, it looks like there could have been blood drawn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I need to know what part of his back this is.

[Morgan]

Oh, there's his booty down here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can you hand me that? Just so y' all know, there are scratches that seem to be right in the middle of his back.

[Morgan]

Kind of little, like, shoulder blade. If you're, you know, and they're across.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They'Re not quite shoulder bladey. They're. They're more across.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I would say this man has a giant shoulders in a tiny little waist. So I guess I don't know enough about this man's personality to question if you should be. If you should be questioned. If you should be questioning his reasoning. Right. Because if there was someone in my life who was like, it's not from that, I would just believe them because I. I'm like, this person doesn't lie to me. Does your boyfriend have a history of lying to you? Um, those look like they could be sex scratches for sure. But also, what does he do for a living? Like, is he. Does he work in someplace where. Where are there thorns? Are there bushes? Or is he roughhousing with the guys at work? Is he. Is he a straight up professional wrestler? These seem like things that should be important to know.

[Morgan]

Context.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That being said, he's cheating.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I was like, bob, you can't be serious.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That being said, this man is fully cheating.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. Like, these are sex scratches. This is someone trying to be, like, sending you a message, like, hey, it's. It's basically a Leave a ponytail in a car. An eyelash or a telling the girl, oh, yeah, she's trying to think she.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was just in the. You don't think she was Just in the moment, you think she was like, I'm. Someone needs to know about this.

[Morgan]

I'm shocked. He hasn't come home with a hickey yet. I think she's trying to send a message.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you can see a hickey. You can't always feel when your back is getting scratched up, because when you're having sex, you're so into it that, like, something is happening afterwards. Like, oh, wow, there's a bruise or something. Oh, wow, there's a thing. And he wouldn't notice that his back was scratched until he went and took a shower. And then he feels the hot water. He goes, ooh.

[Morgan]

Well, you can't really see back there. And he.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You ever worn a sequin dress that scratched you up and you have been getting just destroyed all night long, but you didn't realize it? You took a hot shower. You're like, holy shit, I am scratched to pieces.

[Morgan]

Oh, I'm shaved. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So he knew when he was showering, he was like, she got me good.

[Morgan]

I know. And it played off like, it's your dog. Poor dog.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, did you scratch me, Fido?

[Morgan]

Didn't need that when I was fucking you. Comments. Oh, man. Comments really tear into her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just like that lady torn to him, huh?

[Morgan]

Top comment. I get those all the time, especially on my shoulder if I pick up something heavy. He probably just had some weight against his back or had another chick riding him really hard. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, these are the bros protecting him.

[Morgan]

Next comment, down. Those aren't stretch marks. It's just an allergic reaction to his side piece. His down comforter. Oh, no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, he's. He's someone else for sure. 100%. This man has been getting it in.

[Morgan]

I know. I wonder if there's any updates from.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cheating.

[Morgan]

Just break up or just, like, don't commit to being exclusive with someone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I. I will never. I'll never get cheating, to be honest.

[Morgan]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You ever been cheated on?

[Morgan]

I've been cheated on. Never the cheater.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, more than once?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Same person?

[Morgan]

No. Well, I guess technically one of them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would you have been open to just letting them have sex with other girls?

[Morgan]

I think if I'm bored and just like, you might take. Take something off my plate, you know? Sure. Maybe 30 years from now. I don't know. I might be, you know, feeling a little lazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What if he's feeling it? You're just not.

[Morgan]

See, that's the thing. Have you been on the dead bedroom subreddit? No, that's, like, very common. Like High libido, low libido, and like, the mismatch. And then a lot of people ask for an open relationship, and then, you know, the one gets a girlfriend or a boyfriend, and then the other one is like, no, close the relationship. It's crazy. Subreddit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would rather lose my sex drive with my partner than lose my friendship with my partner.

[Morgan]

And that speaks to the foundation you have with your partner where it is very communicative and friendship based and you have a very deep connection. A lot of people, like, I don't wanna say a lot of people, but I think there are some people out there that just like, marry very physically or marry out of convenience and don't have that deep bond. So, like, cheating is like very. It's not as like. I mean, people cheat all the time. They clearly do it. So however they're mentally justifying it, they are. And I think that's a part of it, not having that deep of a connection.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I think if the sex is what glues you together, once the sex is gone, you're going to lose a lot of the relationship.

[Morgan]

I mean, I see it all day on Reddit. There's story after story about people, like typically hetero relationships where woman has a kid, husband says, not attracted to you anymore, don't love your baby body. And it's like story after story after story. And it's like they clearly got married because of physical reasons, and now your body changes and it's like, we all age. We're gonna have chronic conditions, like, I might develop gout someday. I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Fingers crossed.

[Morgan]

Those crystals sound like a. I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A guy with gout.

[Morgan]

It's a pain. It really is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I've never had it, so I can't speak, but it sounds like being crystallized.

[Morgan]

Sounds fierce, but I got gout, honey.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm crystallized, honey. You call it go. I say I'm crystallized.

[Morgan]

I know. I feel like I'm gonna get rheumatoid arthritis.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is there one in your family?

[Morgan]

Oh, I get really nervous about that one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm probably gonna get dementia. Look over there. Runs in the family.

[Morgan]

Oh, we'll just start sending you to brain camp.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Everyone in my family's a little crazy.

[Morgan]

Do you play an instrument?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Morgan]

Okay, you should start. It reduces your risk of dementia.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, noted.

[Morgan]

Musical instruments, learning new languages. Keep learning, everybody.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I have a couple people in my family with dementia, but they live way too long.

[Morgan]

How old?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My God. My father's grandmother lived longer than her daughter. Longer than several of her children. She was, like, probably in her 90s.

[Morgan]

See?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And she was bedridden for 20 years.

[Morgan]

Oh, that's not cool. At that point, smother me like pillow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. You're like, breast.

[Morgan]

Obsidian put me in the womb.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Obsidian, would you go to one of the places that'll put you down?

[Morgan]

Switzerland. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm sorry, where?

[Morgan]

Switzerland. You can do it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You've been doing research.

[Morgan]

I know a thing or two.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is crazy.

[Morgan]

I've read a book by. I don't know who it's by, but me before you, that's where.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's like, put me down.

[Morgan]

Yeah, but I digress. How are you going to other people's homes? Are you kind of a neat freak? Are you. Where are you at with that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not a neat freak.

[Morgan]

No, you're not a neat freak.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm a little messy and I'm not a neat freak. And I don't really judge people's homes like that.

[Morgan]

What about animals? What if they have animals and I like animals. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't like cats, but I don't, like, hate cats.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I love dogs.

[Morgan]

Okay. Do you have a dog?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, my partner has a dog that's at my house a lot, though.

[Morgan]

Okay. Curious how you will respond to this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I will tell you one thing I do, which is uber tacky. Yeah, it's super tacky.

[Morgan]

Do you clean the house for them before you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you invite me to your home and you should know this, you go.

[Morgan]

Through my stuff, I will Google your.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Home to find out how much it's worth.

[Morgan]

I do that all the time, every.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Every month, immediately after leaving I've ever been to. I will Google your home and I will know how much you paid for.

[Morgan]

It every time, without fail, literally. I do that with, like, office spaces that people are renting. And I'm like, this is a really nice office space. I wonder how much it is. And I go find it on a. On, like, the rental websites.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I do it every time.

[Morgan]

I'm nosy and I love real estate.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I want to know what you paid. Because in New York City, you can just straight ask someone, what do you pay for rent? No one cares. No one cares about the question. In New York City, no one gives a fuck about how much you buy, how much you buy this for? Yeah, no one cares. La. You can't ask that question.

[Morgan]

No, it's a little. It's awkward.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now I gotta snoop. You're. You're forcing my hand.

[Morgan]

I'll give you My address. You can. You can go look on Zillow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll send you mine.

[Morgan]

Okay, cool. This next one, we're gonna send Monet's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Go ahead.

[Morgan]

This next one coming from Am I the asshole? 16 hours old, titled Am I the Asshole for leaving my friend's doghouse.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Walking out of a doghouse you can walk into a doghouse you're about to see. Let's find out. This is wild.

[Morgan]

I came to visit a close friend I haven't seen in. This episode is brought to you by Colgate Optic White. How white my teeth are is something I've really been conscious of, especially considering I have a wedding coming up. But whether you're the bride or a guest, you can get a smile. Glow up with Colgate's Optic White Overnight Whitening Pen. This pen gives you visibly whiter teeth in just one week. And it fits right into your usual nighttime routine. You just apply the whitening serum after brushing and let it work its magic while you sleep. Get 15% off all Colgate Optic white products at shop.colgate.com with code too hot takes. Always use as directed. This episode is brought to you by Sol de Janeiro. So here it is, the new Body Baudelada lotion from Sol de Janeiro, inspired by Brazilian beach culture. Let's see why everyone is raving about it. Okay, trying the lotion on. I'm chronically dry, so my skin is loving this fast absorbing and not leaving me sticky, which I think is crucial from a lotion. Nothing worse than than being sticky after. And it's in their iconic Shearosa 62 scent. It's fresh. It smells so good. And I think my favorite part might be that this has 24 hours of non stop weightless daily hydration. So no having to freshen up on it every couple of hours. And my skin looks amazing. It's got a nice soft glow. Okay, I'm sold. If you're ready to try it for yourself, the new Body Baudelada by Sol de Janeiro should be your new lotion obsession. I know it's going to be my staple going forward. Give it a try. You know you want to. New Body Battalatta by Sol de Janeiro Shop now at Sephora and SOL de janeiro.com over a year, she always made the effort to come to see me, so I thought it was time to return the gesture. She has a French bulldog, and while I'm not a big dog person, I figured I could handle it for a week. From the moment she picked me up, I felt uneasy. Her Car was absolutely covered in dog fur. She did warn me about shedding, but I didn't expect this level. Still, I tried to be polite and pushed through. Then we got to her apartment. There's dog food and treats scattered across the carpet, random bits of bacon on the floor, and a general layer of grime. But the worst part, the balcony. That's where the dog goes to the bathroom when my friend's at work. No pee pads, no fake grass. Just a cage full of of old pee and poop everywhere. The smell hit me as soon as I opened the door. And that same dog runs back inside, jumps on the couch, and sleeps on the bed. She even mentioned before that the dog gets period blood on the couch. It's disgusting. I haven't sat comfortably since I got here. I had to lint roll the bed before lying down. And even then, I couldn't sleep because the dog kept jumping in and out with its gross toys. She doesn't have a feeding schedule for the dog. It eats whenever it wants, whatever it wants, including hot Cheetos, and then drags food all over the place. Then came the towel incident.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is one dog causing all this chaos in the house.

[Morgan]

After my shower, I grabbed a clean towel and wiped off, only to find my body covered in dog hair. I nearly threw up and had to use my own T shirt to dry off. I feel so gross all the time. I'm tiptoeing around trying not to touch anything. Now the dog has diarrhea and has been walking on the couch and laying on the carpet like nothing's wrong. I'm seriously overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I know I sound dramatic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not dramatic.

[Morgan]

I want to leave early, but I don't want to offend her. She's a good friend, but I can't handle this. I've been here less than two days, and I'm already spiraling. I need an excuse that won't hurt her feelings. I was supposed to stay a week. Already shortened it to five days, but I honestly can't stay another night. Help.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, let's just say this. I personally do not feel comfortable lying, but it is okay to be like, oh, my God, I have developed an analogy. I think I'm allergic to your dog.

[Morgan]

How the hell were you a traitor?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Achoo.

[Morgan]

You don't feel comfortable lying?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I never lied on the show. Only thing I ever lied about was that I was a faithful and I legally had to. But I never told. You can go rewatch the foot. I never told a single lie on the show.

[Morgan]

Wow. Integrity. Never told a lie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Never told a lie. And I will lie in a game. But I just thought it'd be a better. I thought it'd be a better tactic to not lie. Turns out it wasn't. I should have been lying. But in general, I would either. Like, for example, if I go to your play.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I did not enjoy it.

[Morgan]

Damn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll just say, I'll find a compliment.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll say, morgan, thank you for inviting me. I had so much fun. Now, I didn't tell you I had fun making fun of your show to people next to me. Or I'll say, thank you for inviting me. This. That singing was amazing. This set was beautiful. The dancing, remarkable.

[Morgan]

Yeah, you'll find I was finding genuine compliment. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Instead of being like, you did a.

[Morgan]

Your show was good, but honestly, I appreciate that. I appreciate it. You're not lying, but you're still being positive.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I'm finding a compliment.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what I mean? I like that in this place. I would say, thank you so much for hospitality. It was so kind of you to open up your home to me. I think I might have an. I. I'm. I'm having an allergic reaction that I didn't realize I was having. I wouldn't do this. I would recommend someone like. I. I think I can't stay here anymore. Like, I'm like, look at my eyes. They're, like, watering. They're so red. I'd be in the bathroom rubbing.

[Morgan]

Yeah, no, my eyes are red. I'd put something in my eyes. I'd put soap in my eyes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My God, my eyes are so red.

[Morgan]

Can't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm gonna just get a hotel. But let's. Let's meet for lunch at my hotel.

[Morgan]

Don't bring the dog.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't bring your dog unless it has a diagnosis.

[Morgan]

So.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I am not a neat freak, but I don't think I am a dirty person.

[Morgan]

No, you seem. You seem well kept.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I'm not like. But I'm not like, you know, people who like homes. Like a magazine.

[Morgan]

No, that's not me. I got shit everywhere.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not one of those people. My best friend's home is like a magnet.

[Morgan]

Like, everything blows my mind.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Two of my friends. Monet's home is like that. Assad. My friend Assad, he's a film director. His home is like that. Like, everything is so. In fact, I do this bit where I go in his home and I'll just rotate something and then he walks in immediately. He's like, all Right. Let's make sure we. Let's make sure that we head out of, like, literally immediately. He walks in.

[Morgan]

He's like, how does he clock it so fast?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have no clue. No clue.

[Morgan]

It's like there's little sensors under it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But also, Monet's not like that. Monet's not good at clocking things. I think he has ocd. Monet just likes to be tiny. One time, I stole Monet's Roomba. She didn't know for two weeks. Just took a room right over her house.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And to be fair, I did it because she said I couldn't.

[Morgan]

You wanted a challenge.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's like, you could never take anything. She goes, anything in here. I have cameras. I would know if you took anything. I was like, you know. She's like, you could not steal a piece of paper without me knowing.

[Morgan]

Oh, don't issue a challenge. See, I'm the same way. Don't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So then I stole her Roomba.

[Morgan]

Yeah. That was a big. A big feat, too. Yeah. That's not small.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And Monet has big feet. Big, monster feet. Big. Just.

[Morgan]

What size?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Big concrete slappers.

[Morgan]

What size?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like a 12, 13.

[Morgan]

Have you ever seen Shaq's shoes?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Never. Not once big. But I have seen Dikembe. No, not Dikembe. Dikembe Mutombo.

[Morgan]

I don't know who that is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's a basketball player. I saw him in the airport one time.

[Morgan]

I'm gonna show you a picture of Shaq. Shaq is a size 22.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus Christ.

[Morgan]

Huh? This is a picture of Shaq's shoe next to a normal sized person. It's like the size of my torso.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That person in that video sniffs those shoes. That person that smells, she sniffs those shoes.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'm not judging. No King Jamie.

[Morgan]

No, I. Like, that's one thing a lot of people collect, like, used shoes. I don't know, like, to wear. To look at.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, like. Yeah, like sneaker heads.

[Morgan]

Yeah, but, like, from athletes. Like, that's a big thing to go collect used athletes shoes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That makes sense.

[Morgan]

I know someone. He's goofy to me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That makes sense, though. It's like. It's like getting a dress from a model or getting. It's like this shoe was a part of history. That makes sense to me. I'm not into it. I don't care about athletics. It's like getting a basketball or, like, gloves from a race driver. Race car driver.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that's true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Do you collect anything?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, not really. But I do think that they should be giving out the wheels from these NASCAR games because they just throw them away.

[Morgan]

My. I know someone that has a wheel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, they should sell them. They probably make a lot of money from them.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God, so much money. A lot of them tear up, though. And then there's, like, metal coming through. I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, no one cares. They just want a part. They just want Dale Earnhardt's fucking will.

[Morgan]

I know. They sure do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is Dale Earnhardt's alive?

[Morgan]

Junior. The junior senior.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When did Dale Earnhardt die?

[Morgan]

Like, one of the Daytona 500 races.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, that's right. He died in a crash.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it was a bad one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I completely forgot about this.

[Morgan]

I got, like, really big into NASCAR lately. Really big. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who's that lady? Who doesn't ask her?

[Morgan]

Danica Patrick.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Danica Patrick. She's still. She's old now.

[Morgan]

She's not good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's not doing it, though, is she?

[Morgan]

No, she did Aaron Rodgers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She. She did what?

[Morgan]

Aaron Rodgers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What the is Aaron Rodgers?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, she's dating Aaron Rodgers?

[Morgan]

Did what is Aaron Rodgers? He's a football quarterback.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You mean she did him like she him?

[Morgan]

I would assume so after dating for that long.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, you said she. I thought you said she did Aaron Rodgers.

[Morgan]

Oh, yeah, she did him like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it Aaron Rodgers, like a kind of race? Like, she did the. The Indy 500, then she did the Andy Rogers.

[Morgan]

So you watch a lot of nascar, clearly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm a really big into nascar.

[Morgan]

I honestly could see you being into, like, NASCAR Formula one, though. No, no. You don't want to be a pit girly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I met a NASCAR driver. Bubba Watson. Bubba Watson.

[Morgan]

That sounds right. Right? I know. Is Bubba Watson the golfer?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know. There's a black guy named Bubba who. Who races cars.

[Morgan]

Bubba Wallace.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bubba Wallace, Yeah. I met Bubba Wallace.

[Morgan]

Okay, cool.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Did you see the Netflix thing on the nascar?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When I tell you. I have not watched anything regarding NASCAR.

[Morgan]

Okay. It's. Yeah. It's over.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it Indy 500? Is it because it's 500 miles or 500 laps?

[Morgan]

500 laps, maybe.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How far? How long is the lap?

[Morgan]

You're asking the wrong girl. I can barely.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're the one who did a nascar.

[Morgan]

Well, they're all.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're the queen of NASCAR over here. You're Miss. Ms. NASCAR. 2025.

[Morgan]

I haven't even been to a race. I just watched. I'm a fair weather. I'm a bandwagoner.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

God, that's fair. That's about it.

[Morgan]

You know, it's valid. I like the drama. I like the tea that I saw on the show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's a show?

[Morgan]

Yeah, Netflix.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it a reality show?

[Morgan]

Kind of, yeah. You'd be. Give it a shot. Give it a shot. Let me report back, see if you're in a nascar.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I gotta be honest, I'm not gonna.

[Morgan]

Give it a shot. No. I really want to watch tennis. Wives.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm never going to look it up.

[Morgan]

Have you seen the tennis show?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't like. I don't like sports. I don't watch any sports.

[Morgan]

What do you. What else are you into?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Reality tv? I like scripted dramas.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I like movies, comedy movies, action movies.

[Morgan]

So everything but sports?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I mean, I just can't imagine wanting to watch a sport for any reason.

[Morgan]

Oh, I love football. See, I'm such a football. I love sports. I love sports.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. No.

[Morgan]

Oh my God. Craziness.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you watch football? It was a straight thing.

[Morgan]

Okay. I can't keep you here forever.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, okay. Well, it's been real.

[Morgan]

I'm gonna give you a choice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Morgan]

One of my choices on your last one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Morgan]

This is a very tough decision for me. Okay. Option one, My boyfriend of three years keeps making I hate my girlfriend jokes. How do I make this stop?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Uh huh.

[Morgan]

Or option two, Am I the asshole I outed my closeted uncle after he shamed me for being gay at a family dinner.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's the one. Because I wasn't on the side and then I got back on their side real quick. I'm gonna go ahead say up front, not the asshole. Go ahead.

[Morgan]

Hi, I'm reposting this here as it got removed on the other am I the asshole sub due to the relationship between my uncle and aunt? Apparently. And I will clarify that, yes. The aunt mentioned is Dave's wife and she didn't know, but she never supported me either. When the insults came my way, post is pasted as in the other sub now below. I, 25 male, came out to my family at 20. Most were cool. But my uncle Dave, 45 male, has always been weird about it. Constantly making comments like, quote, you don't have to act so gay. Or quote. When I was younger, men kept that to themselves.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I bet they did, Dave.

[Morgan]

I shrugged it off when they were older.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They do too, don't they?

[Morgan]

I shrugged it off until last week at a family dinner, Dave started going off about how pride parades are just perverts wanting attention and how real men don't flaunt it. When I called him hobophobic, he smirked and said, your generation's obsessed with labels. Why can't you just be normal? Here's where I might have been. The asshole I had suspected. Dave wasn't straight for years. He's always been oddly fixated on my dating life. And once I even spotted him on Grindr, I recognized his torso tattoo in a very not safe for work pic. I never said anything until now, but I snapped quote, that's rich coming from a guy who's on Grindr every weekend. How's that working out for you? Silence. Then my aunt gasped. She had no idea why.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Does she know where Grindr is? I think she's on Grindr too. She just gave it. Someone else talked about it.

[Morgan]

Dave went pale, knocked over his wine glass.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, do you think your aunt knows what Grindr is? Text an older person in your family and ask what they know Grindr is.

[Morgan]

Later, my mom texted me. You humiliated him. Was that necessary? Some family members are on my side. But others say outing him crossed a line. Even if he's the asshole, I'm torn. He's been nasty to me for years. But I know how dangerous it is to out someone. Am I the asshole?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you're not the asshole. You took it really light. I would have came with. I would have came with receipts. I would have screencast his picture to the fucking tv. I would say, let's all go trip to the living room. Yeah, that's Uncle Dave on Grindr. Oh, Dave, show your chest tattoo. We all see it. We all know what it is, girl. And also calling him that's rich come from a guy on Grinder. I don't know. That's rich coming from a come guzzling queen like you. Six foot two bottom on Grindr. Verse top.

[Morgan]

Tell him, honey.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The verse is silent, honey.

[Morgan]

I mean, let's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's read Dave's profile together, everyone.

[Morgan]

Yeah, no, let's get into it. Let's get.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's go to. Let's go to the family group chat. Why is Dave looking to fuck a hung daddy? Why is Dave looking for a hung bottom? Huh?

[Morgan]

Unhinge. Unhinged. That he would throw so many stones from a glass house.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, yeah. And think that his home, his home would never come tumbling down. I say he took it light on Uncle Dave, baby. I would have. Dave would not have been able to walk out of the room without me causing a scene. The group chat will know about it.

[Morgan]

I would be sending the wife the Grindr profile.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, one hondo picture.

[Morgan]

Pee health wise or whatever. You should know. You should know if your partner's cheating on you, I get that it's outing him, but, like, again, he's making comments equating pride parades to people being perverts like Dave. You opened the can of worms I like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe you don't understand pride because you're ashamed of yourself.

[Morgan]

Exactly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe you have no concept of pride because you sneak around on Grindr and your wife every single weekend. I see you. We live in the same fucking neighborhood. Did you not think that when I saw. When you. Did you not think. Listen to yourself, Uncle Dave. Did you not think that when you saw me I would also see you? Oh, shit.

[Morgan]

Insane.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's crazy.

[Morgan]

Insane. I. No, I don't think, Asshole.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, not at all. And I'm shocked that he didn't put Uncle Dave's picture on the post.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Block this queen. If you see her on Grindr, those you in the Omaha area.

[Morgan]

Stay clear. Hateful Dave.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, no, this is great. What's top comment on this one?

[Morgan]

Top comment, not the asshole. Funny how everyone comes running in tears once the bully starts losing the fight. They liked having you as a punching bag. And he's just proof. The angrier you are at queer people, the more is just arguing in the mirror. Feels like some Confucius. He literally was mad. He felt obligated to hide. What is your truth? I had to hide that when I was younger. Why did things change? He wanted you to be like him. Be gay, but don't be out about it. I would recommend you get him the book. Why Are f slurs so Afraid of f slurs? About gay men who are terrified of being perceived or seen as gay, and as a result, treating out gay people horrifically. Top comment just came with receipts.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that's great.

[Morgan]

I don't think anything else needs to be said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Honestly, no crumbs were left. I try to look at every camera. I don't, but that one's got me at all.

[Morgan]

That one doesn't see you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but I don't want that camera to film. I included.

[Morgan]

Thank you for that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to thank you for having me. This has been really fun.

[Morgan]

This has been magical.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I hope this episode is gangbusters for you.

[Morgan]

I'm excited. People were. I gave people on Patreon a little sneak peek. Some of the stories I read today were picked by Patreon fam that are super fans and were like, I need to see what Bob says about this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's your most watched episode so far? Who is it?

[Morgan]

Honestly? It's a good question. Probably one of My regulars, because those are the oldest.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want it to be me. I want to be the most.

[Morgan]

You want to blow it out of the water?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to be the most watched one.

[Morgan]

Okay, I'll tell you what you have to. What you have to hit here. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. Oh, this is stressing me out. I'm stressed.

[Morgan]

Why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because if it's a really high number, it probably won't be me.

[Morgan]

Two million. You have to beat two million.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the one right before that one?

[Morgan]

1.7 million.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus Christ. How about before that one?

[Morgan]

1.7? 1.4.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, how old is. How old is two million?

[Morgan]

Three years old.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Check back in three years.

[Morgan]

Okay, the one with 1.4 million is a year old.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, give me. Let's check back in a year. That'll be easier.

[Morgan]

Okay. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll come back on the one year anniversary.

[Morgan]

I love that. I love that. You'll have another book by then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, that's not.

[Morgan]

Maybe this will be a musical.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There we go. Let's work on that. There we go.

[Morgan]

Okay. I love that. Don't get too many problems.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We can't keep. All right.

[Morgan]

I'm so excited, everyone. Be sure to check out Bob's book. I will link it in the description so you can easily order it for yourself.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And if you're listening, you can go to readthedragqueen.com to get my book. It'll show you how to get in a bookstore near you. You can buy indie show how to get it on Audible. It'll show you how to get on Amazon. Show how to get on Spotify.

[Morgan]

Okay. It'll be in the description. Where else can people find you? Anything new coming up?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do a monthly show in WeHo called GGT. Comedy stands for Girls, Gays and Days. All the comedians are either girls gays or they themmies. And we do allow one cisgender straight men to the show, but he must do it in a dress. Oh, we have that always coming up. You can go to seethedragqueen.com to find out where. I'll be in the town near you. I'll be at World Pride in dc. I'm bopping all around the place.

[Morgan]

You're bopping. Okay. I love this. I watched a couple clips from your standup and I. I love it. You had Amanda Wackoff.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, yeah. Amanda Wackoff. Yeah.

[Morgan]

And that was a really beautiful moment. I. You're a true champion of the people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. Also, if you are a person whose mom is dead, you're in the dead Moms club. You can go to my YouTube page and watch the Dead comedy club. Dead Moms Comedy Club. It is a YouTube. It's for free. It is a great special. It's me, Chrissy Cholo and Sydney. And Sydney. Sydney Washington. And we're all members of the dad Moms club and if you're a mom's dad and it came out on Mother's Day, this is a special just for you.

[Morgan]

It's on my list to watch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Are you in the club?

[Morgan]

Not in the club, gang. Gang. But I saw some clips and you're just, you're so talented. I want to engage with all your content now. I know, I know. Thank you so much for being here. All of Bob's links will be in the description. Be sure to check them out. Other than that, until next time, guys.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bye. Bye.

[Morgan]

Voice actor. Yeah, that's another one. I picture that as a little frog character.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bye.