222: Can You Clock It? Ft. Justin Sylvester - Two Hot Takes

Summary5 min read

Podcast Summary: Two Hot Takes - Episode 222: Can You Clock It? Ft. Justin Sylvester

Episode Overview

In Episode 222 of Two Hot Takes, host Morgan Absher welcomes special guest Justin Sylvester for an engaging discussion filled with humor, candid insights, and lively banter. The episode delves into several intriguing "Am I the Asshole" (AITA) stories sourced from Reddit, exploring complex relationship dynamics, family obligations, and personal boundaries. Morgan and Justin dissect each scenario, offering their unique perspectives and heartfelt advice, peppered with memorable quotes and relatable anecdotes.

Guest Introduction: Justin Sylvester

Morgan introduces Justin Sylvester, highlighting his diverse background and impressive credentials. Justin shares his experience working behind the scenes in the reality TV world, particularly his five-year stint with Real Housewives. He also discusses his role on the Today show, emphasizing the chemistry he shares with co-host Jenna, which has resonated well with audiences.

Justin Sylvester [05:05]: "She's like, my first phone call of the day. I'm so jealous."

Morgan Absher [07:27]: "You're great, though. Everybody. You're in for a treat today."

AITA Story 1: Missing Niece's First Birthday for a Beyonce Concert

Story Overview

The first AITA story discussed revolves around a woman who missed her niece's first birthday to attend a Beyonce concert. She grappled with the decision, balancing her love for music with family commitments, leading to accusations of neglecting her familial duties.

Discussion Highlights

Morgan presents the dilemma, emphasizing the emotional tug-of-war between personal desires and family responsibilities.

Morgan [11:51]: "Am I the asshole for missing my niece's first birthday party to see Beyonce?"

Justin immediately weighs in, siding with the aunt's responsibility towards her niece.

Justin [13:10]: "I think you are. Yeah, I think you are. Because first and foremost, Beyonce was multi nights."

They explore alternatives the aunt could have considered, such as selling tickets or compromising with her sister to ensure both events were honored.

Justin [13:26]: "And been the hero."

The conversation highlights the importance of prioritizing significant family milestones, especially those that create lasting memories for young children.

Morgan [14:12]: "I hate that I'm missing everything as it is."

Justin reinforces the idea that attending to her niece's needs should take precedence over personal entertainment choices.

Justin [17:17]: "The first birthdays are not really for the kids."

Conclusion

Both hosts agree that the aunt's actions were inconsiderate, underscoring the value of being present for family events that significantly impact loved ones.

Morgan [17:49]: "So overall, vote on this one. Not the asshole."

AITA Story 2: Secretly Selling Alcohol at a Dry Wedding

Story Overview

The second story involves a woman who covertly sold alcohol at her dry wedding to offset costs. While the gesture was financially beneficial, it conflicted with the conservative and religious values of her family, leading to accusations of deceit and disrespect.

Discussion Highlights

Morgan introduces the case, highlighting the delicate balance between financial constraints and familial expectations.

Morgan [21:10]: "Am I the asshole for secretly selling alcohol at my dry wedding to offset the costs?"

Justin critiques the lack of transparency, emphasizing the importance of mutual agreement in marital decisions.

Justin [24:16]: "What you have to tell John that is."

Morgan acknowledges the creativity but questions the effectiveness of the approach, given the minimal financial gain.

Morgan [25:36]: "It's a drop in the hat."

They discuss the broader implications of such actions on trust within a marriage, stressing the necessity of honesty and open communication.

Justin [31:10]: "I know. And she's like, she's in a stride."

Conclusion

The consensus is that while the idea was innovative, the execution lacked the essential element of partnership and honesty, making the action disrespectful to familial values.

Morgan [31:35]: "Let this be a lesson in marriage for the future. Always consult your partner."

AITA Story 3: Telling Girlfriend to Suck It Up Around Clown Figurines

Story Overview

The final AITA story centers on a man who insisted his girlfriend tolerate his collection of clown figurines, leading to tension and eventual breakup. The story explores the challenges of blending personal interests within a romantic relationship.

Discussion Highlights

Morgan presents the scenario, highlighting the clash between individual passions and relationship harmony.

Morgan [53:36]: "Am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend to suck it up around my clown figurines?"

Justin expresses his discomfort with the situation, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and compromise.

Justin [55:46]: "If it's at your house, yeah, you could do whatever you want."

They delve into the significance of accommodating each other's interests to maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.

Morgan [57:23]: "What are we doing?"

The hosts joke about unconventional ways to handle such conflicts but return to the serious notion that relationships require empathy and flexibility.

Justin [61:58]: "I'm a Scorpio. What's your sign?"

Conclusion

Both hosts agree that the boyfriend's approach was dismissive and lacked the necessary compromise, ultimately harming the relationship.

Morgan [62:51]: "I think you have a problem collecting furniture."

Additional Discussions

Throughout the episode, Morgan and Justin share personal anecdotes, ranging from past drinking habits in their 30s to navigating complex family relationships. Their candid conversations offer listeners relatable insights into balancing personal lives with family and social expectations.

Justin [76:17]: "He's bringing it to bed. I'm not getting turned on in front of Bobo the clown."

Morgan [80:43]: "The little boy's mother is involved. He has extended family."

They also touch upon the challenges of co-parenting and blending families, emphasizing the need for clear communication and boundary-setting to foster harmonious relationships.

Closing Remarks

As the episode concludes, Morgan and Justin reflect on the stories discussed, reiterating the importance of empathy, honesty, and mutual respect in all relationships. Their dynamic interaction provides both entertainment and valuable takeaways for listeners navigating similar dilemmas in their own lives.

Morgan [103:19]: "I need to look at one of these Venetian masks."

Justin [104:40]: "Thank you for coming."

Key Takeaways:

Prioritize Family Commitments: Significant family events, especially those involving young children, should take precedence over personal entertainment choices.
Transparency in Relationships: Financial decisions, especially those that affect both partners, require honest communication and mutual agreement.
Respect Individual Interests: While personal passions are important, accommodating each other's interests is crucial for maintaining relationship harmony.
Empathy and Compromise: Successful relationships hinge on the ability to understand and adjust to each other's needs and preferences.

Stay Connected

For more insightful discussions and exclusive bonus stories, follow Two Hot Takes on Instagram @TwoHotTakes and join their Patreon community here. Don't forget to subscribe to their YouTube channel for full-length videos and check out their latest merch here.

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Transcript1,089 lines

[00:00]
Rachel Lindsay
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[01:29]
Justin Sylvester
You forgot to press record.
[01:32]
Rachel Lindsay
Who's the fucking mess today? Me, bitch.
[01:35]
Justin Sylvester
Check. Check everything in here. Check everything in here. Where'd you go this weekend?
[01:39]
Rachel Lindsay
I went to Nashville for work and I came back with two brain cells.
[01:43]
Justin Sylvester
You got lit?
[01:44]
Rachel Lindsay
Not really. I was actually, like, on my best behavior. And then Saturday I had a friend's birthday and that probably that's what did me in.
[01:51]
Justin Sylvester
How old are you?
[01:53]
Rachel Lindsay
True. I almost said 29. I'm 31.
[01:55]
Justin Sylvester
Drinking at 31 is different.
[01:57]
Rachel Lindsay
I can't do it anymore. I had four drinks and I'm still hungover.
[02:00]
Justin Sylvester
Drinking in your 30s and I'm 38. It only gets worse. I'm just gonna let you know, I.
[02:08]
Rachel Lindsay
Like, have been so bad, I've, like, had to get IVs lately.
[02:11]
Justin Sylvester
No, I'm telling you, you're going to. You gotta be negotiating with yourself. Like, when I meet people who are in their 40s who are like, oh, I don't drink anymore. My body doesn't agree with it. And I'm from south Louisiana. We drink for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
[02:24]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[02:24]
Justin Sylvester
So now when I meet people, I'm like, oh, I'm now that girl. I'm like, negotiating with myself that I won't drink in my 40s because your body is like, ugh, get that out of me. Or it sits on your brain for, like, more than you want it to.
[02:37]
Rachel Lindsay
It's just not worth it anymore.
[02:39]
Justin Sylvester
And by the way, one glass of.
[02:40]
Rachel Lindsay
Wine, and I'm like, this is good.
[02:41]
Justin Sylvester
I was about to say the same thing.
[02:42]
Rachel Lindsay
We're good.
[02:43]
Justin Sylvester
Two glasses of wine, honey, and I'm at the er. I'm hitting my deductible.
[02:47]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my gosh. Okay. Well, I'll tell you guys right now, the beginning of this was absolutely magical. Absolutely magical. You missed so much. But essentially, we've got Justin Sylvester joining us today. The most banterful. Like, I've never had someone come in and just like, yes, you're just hitting it. And Justin came highly recommended from Rachel Lindsay, who I just want to love. We. We've already hit this, too.
[03:12]
Justin Sylvester
I'm like, she's my first phone call of the day.
[03:15]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm so jealous.
[03:16]
Justin Sylvester
I know. Every morning.
[03:18]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God.
[03:18]
Justin Sylvester
Literally, she's like, my first phone call.
[03:20]
Rachel Lindsay
I literally. You are so cool, too. You have, like, a group chat with your psychic.
[03:25]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, yeah.
[03:26]
Rachel Lindsay
How do I get in on this? I'm like, is she good?
[03:29]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, my God. I have two.
[03:31]
Rachel Lindsay
Who have you connected with?
[03:32]
Justin Sylvester
I have one that's, like, really scary.
[03:35]
Rachel Lindsay
Like, scary good.
[03:36]
Justin Sylvester
Scary good. Like, she will not sugarcoat shit. And she is, like, to the point. And I do what I call drive by readings, where they're like, 15 minutes, 20 minutes.
[03:46]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay.
[03:47]
Justin Sylvester
Cause I can't do a full hour because Gina Torres tarot you, life shout out to Gina is phenomenal, and she is exceptionally priced. I love this woman, but I talk to her all the time. And I put people on text threads with her, and then I have another one that's deep and full, and you only do it once every nine months.
[04:07]
Rachel Lindsay
Because it's just so much.
[04:09]
Justin Sylvester
It's so much to take in.
[04:10]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay.
[04:10]
Justin Sylvester
But I record them and I listened to them throughout the year.
[04:13]
Rachel Lindsay
So you take it all in, like, because it's hard to grasp everything in one, like, sit down, call reading.
[04:18]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[04:18]
Rachel Lindsay
You, like, need more time to process.
[04:20]
Justin Sylvester
That's more time to process.
[04:21]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[04:22]
Justin Sylvester
But yeah, I'm like, my psychic is that bitch is at my wedding. She might be a bridesmaid.
[04:26]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God. Okay, I need a good psychic. I've got a girl, Martina, who reads tarot for us. But, like, I feel like I just need. I need someone.
[04:35]
Justin Sylvester
You need someone deep that can go.
[04:36]
Rachel Lindsay
Real deep with me.
[04:37]
Justin Sylvester
No, it's crazy.
[04:38]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm like, what is all this?
[04:39]
Justin Sylvester
I got a good lady.
[04:40]
Rachel Lindsay
What is life? What is life?
[04:42]
Justin Sylvester
By the way? Get married first.
[04:43]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay?
[04:44]
Justin Sylvester
Go through your wedding first. Just go through your wedding first.
[04:47]
Rachel Lindsay
Just in case. You're like, what are you doing?
[04:49]
Justin Sylvester
Just in case. You never know. You never know.
[04:52]
Rachel Lindsay
No, he's an angel. He is like, oh, my God. Just. He's really special.
[04:57]
Justin Sylvester
You got 30 days. You can get money back. Guarantee you can return that motherfucker in 30 days. Just so you can.
[05:03]
Rachel Lindsay
It's the annulment rules.
[05:04]
Justin Sylvester
Yes. You're good.
[05:06]
Rachel Lindsay
I love it. Justin, is there anything else my people should know about you? I mean, you started on Real Housewives working for, like, Kyle Richards for five years. Five.
[05:16]
Justin Sylvester
Five years.
[05:17]
Rachel Lindsay
Holy smokes.
[05:18]
Justin Sylvester
Season five. I took a break at season four. That one was crazy. But, yeah, five years. But we've been friends for almost 16.
[05:27]
Rachel Lindsay
Wow.
[05:27]
Justin Sylvester
My first job in LA when I moved back the second time.
[05:30]
Rachel Lindsay
Wow.
[05:30]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah, it was crazy. It was wild.
[05:32]
Rachel Lindsay
And then you're. You're like, on E. Yeah.
[05:35]
Justin Sylvester
So I went and I did Real Housewives for five seasons. You barely will see me on the show because I was hiding from the camera the whole time. And it was just fun to, like, watch it all happen from behind the.
[05:47]
Rachel Lindsay
Scenes because that was, like, kind of when it was, like, really starting and blowing up.
[05:50]
Justin Sylvester
It was the craziest time because everybody was waiting for Beverly Hills. And before people were like, you know, there wasn't, like, reality TV bloggers, there wasn't, like, Instagrams that were devoted just to housewives. So everyone, like Beverly Hills was a secret for the longest time. A really good kept secret. So when people realized that Beverly Hills was coming, they freaked out. So there was all this pandemonium around it. And we had been filming for three months before anyone found out. And it just was amazing. But I knew that I wanted to be in front of the camera and I knew I wanted to be a host. So I just kind of sort of did little things here and there to try to figure it out. And I got my big break at E. Almost nine and a half years ago.
[06:34]
Rachel Lindsay
So amazing.
[06:34]
Justin Sylvester
So it's been really wild.
[06:36]
Rachel Lindsay
So amazing. You've been on the Today show quite a bit, which by far, like, My favorite co host. The chemistry you have with Jenna is just, like, unreal.
[06:47]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, you put two Southern girls together, we're going to tear it up. It's so good in Louisiana, and we're boots on the ground, and we're just having the best time. And, you know, for me, going into a show, I did daily pop for five years at E. I sat across from Margon Stewart, Cat Sadler, Carissa Cullinar, Loni Love. And my favorite times were bringing the best out of them. You know, like, we just had a good time, but I wanted. That's all I ever wanted, was to bring the best out of them because I know how funny they are and how on point they were. And for me, I think Jenna brings out the best in me and I bring out the best in her, and you can't ask for anything different.
[07:27]
Rachel Lindsay
It's so good. It's actually making me want to watch the Today show. I'm like, wait, am I. I feel like I'm missing out. Like, when I see the clips, I'm like, okay, I'm having fomo.
[07:34]
Justin Sylvester
No, no, you.
[07:34]
Rachel Lindsay
This is so good. I need to watch the Today show now.
[07:38]
Justin Sylvester
No. And she's like, she's in a stride. Like, the fourth hour right now is totally different from what it was before.
[07:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[07:45]
Justin Sylvester
And I think she's really onto something and people should tune in. It's great. I love it.
[07:52]
Rachel Lindsay
It's great. You're great, though. Everybody. You're. You're in for a treat today. We started this off. I'm the messy one, but it is very clear out of everything I've watched of Justin's that, like, he can clock a mess.
[08:04]
Justin Sylvester
Two seconds. I can clock a mess. I can clock a mess in my street, by the way. I can clock a mess while in REM for six hours. That's how good I am. But it's because I was a mess. I'm a reformed mess. Reformed?
[08:22]
Rachel Lindsay
Reformed. I'm working on that. We'll chat soon, but I know you're gonna be good with these ones today.
[08:28]
Justin Sylvester
Let's talk.
[08:29]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. Let's dive. This episode is presented by Duluth Trading. Hot summer days got you sweating. Don't let your clothes add to the discomfort. Duluth Trading is your go to for conquering the heat. They've engineered incredible summer tech clothing designed to help you thrive no matter how high the mercury climbs. Think gear with moisture wicking Buck naked underwear Dry on the fly that takes you from wet to dry in the blink of an eye. And the innovative Armachillo gear with Built in jade coolness cranks cold where it counts. Find out more and gear for summer@duluth trading.com. my hometown brand. Speaking of your Today co host, you guys went to Beyonce together, didn't you?
[09:41]
Justin Sylvester
We did.
[09:42]
Rachel Lindsay
Life changing.
[09:43]
Justin Sylvester
Crazy.
[09:44]
Rachel Lindsay
I, like, was bawling the whole show. I'm like, this is just beautiful. It's like the messaging. I'm like, it's loud and clear. It's just powerful.
[09:53]
Justin Sylvester
It was crazy.
[09:53]
Rachel Lindsay
It's so good.
[09:54]
Justin Sylvester
Are you a Beyonce girly?
[09:56]
Rachel Lindsay
I have always been a light fan, but not like, I'm not a part of the beehive. But after this show, I'm like, bow down.
[10:04]
Justin Sylvester
It's crazy, right?
[10:05]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I'm like, I have no words.
[10:08]
Justin Sylvester
Like, you look at this woman and you're like, you've been doing this for 3:30 years and you're at the top of your game.
[10:14]
Rachel Lindsay
I know.
[10:14]
Justin Sylvester
How is that even possible?
[10:16]
Rachel Lindsay
Like, this is the best.
[10:17]
Justin Sylvester
I think she's been the best she's ever been. And shout out to the Napo Babies, because I gotta tell y' all, y' all are really doing some good shit right now. Like, Patrick Schwarzenegger is, like, really killing it on White Lotus. But the way Blue Ivy is coming.
[10:32]
Rachel Lindsay
Through, she is the cutest. And the girl can dance.
[10:36]
Justin Sylvester
She can dance. And what I love about it is that girl goes to rehearsals without her mother.
[10:41]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God.
[10:41]
Justin Sylvester
Like, when the dancers are all meeting up, she is with them. She is in the packed. She's putting in the time. And I would be afraid to go to my school and have to go behind her after. What did you do this summer? Because you know she's gonna tell everybody she went on tour with her mother.
[10:56]
Rachel Lindsay
There's no way.
[10:57]
Justin Sylvester
There's no way.
[10:57]
Rachel Lindsay
There's no way I'd go homesick.
[10:59]
Justin Sylvester
I'd go homesick.
[11:00]
Rachel Lindsay
I'd be out.
[11:01]
Justin Sylvester
I'd be like, I'm done, girl down.
[11:02]
Rachel Lindsay
No, we were kind of off to the side. So, like, I could see her as she was, like, tromping down and then, like, went in the hole in stage or something to go change or do whatever. I'm like, she is just so confident. I'm like, it's so sassy. It's amazing.
[11:15]
Justin Sylvester
You saw it here?
[11:16]
Rachel Lindsay
I did. And I'm like, I gotta find a way to see it again.
[11:19]
Justin Sylvester
You have to see it again.
[11:20]
Rachel Lindsay
So good.
[11:20]
Justin Sylvester
Cause she's a perfectionist. So when you see it early in the show, it's a whole different show. By the time it ends, I'm gonna go to allegiant field in Las Vegas.
[11:30]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay, that's the one I'm thinking of. Yeah, I'm gonna go like one of the last ones. Yeah, yeah.
[11:33]
Justin Sylvester
I'm gonna go in the last run, cuz baby girl is gonna be on it. Okay. She's gonna be high as a kite and she's gonna be hungry, so you have to see it when she's hungry at the end, she's like starving. All she wants is a steak. But no, you have to see her again. She's awesome.
[11:48]
Rachel Lindsay
It's so good. So this first story I have for you is a Beyonce story.
[11:51]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, tell me.
[11:52]
Rachel Lindsay
So this is coming from A I tah. It is 21 days old, titled Am I the asshole for missing my niece's first birthday party to see Beyonce?
[12:02]
Justin Sylvester
Ooh, yes.
[12:06]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay, I'm gonna give you more details. Okay. I got the tickets before my sister chose the date. Even if I'm there for a couple of hours, I'd be cutting it close, battling the traffic on a regular day, let alone on a day where Beyonce is performing. It's not worth it to drive two plus hours out there and barely see my niece because both sides of the family are there. And friends and let's be real, she's one. She's not even gonna remember. She'll still get all the gifts from me. When she's old enough to understand, I'll happily explain to her we have a bond already. I know she would be mad if I risked missing any part of the Cowboy Carter experience for her first birthday.
[12:48]
Justin Sylvester
Is this coming from Olivia Kopal's sister? You know, they have that drama going on right now about that baby shower.
[12:56]
Rachel Lindsay
I. Oh my God, no. I saw her post something where she was like, thank God my niece looks like my brother Culpo jeans. Strong, like some crazy stuff.
[13:06]
Justin Sylvester
It's wild. What's AGT att?
[13:10]
Rachel Lindsay
Am I the asshole?
[13:12]
Justin Sylvester
I think you are. Yeah, I think you are. Because first and foremost, Beyonce was multi nights. So you could have sold your tickets and got tickets for a different night, or you could have invited your sister and made her move that party.
[13:26]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[13:27]
Justin Sylvester
And been the hero. But I think again, it's not about the baby. I think it's more about your sister. You know, she raised this kid for a year. She carried it for nine months. This is her moment to show it off and to have a celebration. She's out of the woods finally. And by the way, she just wants her family to be there. Yeah, now I would have been the asshole too, and just went to Beyonce But I'm gay. You know, we get passes. The gay people get passes.
[13:54]
Rachel Lindsay
I was gonna say, you are so empathetic because hell no, I'm going to the concert. This one year old I'll throw. I will literally. I'll go to the dollar store, I'll get decorations, I'll throw another party just for me and this baby. Like two. You get two, little one. I'm not missing that.
[14:12]
Justin Sylvester
Do you have sisters?
[14:13]
Rachel Lindsay
I do.
[14:14]
Justin Sylvester
You just sign up for different things. Imagine if you would have an impromptu bridal shower and your sister didn't show up because she had to go to Beyonce. How would you feel?
[14:24]
Rachel Lindsay
I get it.
[14:25]
Justin Sylvester
Would you really?
[14:26]
Rachel Lindsay
You go, girl. Yeah, I'm like, not Bridezilla at all. Like, the one thing I've done is like on my wedding website, I literally put in writing, don't wear white.
[14:35]
Justin Sylvester
Stop.
[14:35]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Cause I'm like, there's. I know someone's gonna do it. Still.
[14:38]
Justin Sylvester
You still have to tell people that in 2025.
[14:40]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[14:41]
Justin Sylvester
By the way, it would be me. I would show up in a white suit. Custom.
[14:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Well, gay weddings have different rules too. Like my friend Chris went to a wedding and he wore like a white. They had like white themes.
[14:51]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, gays don't give up. You know what? The gays, as high maintenance as we are about these things, we really don't care. Like, we don't care if you come to the birthday party. We don't care if you show up to the wedding in white. We just care about the gifts. Okay? We are very materialistic. We love our shit. So if I say I want a blue la Crusette, that's $475. Please run me the La Crusette in your white gown.
[15:16]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay? They have them on sale right now at Home Goods and TJ Maxx.
[15:20]
Justin Sylvester
Are they really on sale?
[15:21]
Rachel Lindsay
Uh huh.
[15:22]
Justin Sylvester
But don't buy your own stuff. Well, yeah, this is what a wedding's for.
[15:25]
Rachel Lindsay
But then you just have to like buy it and then tell someone. Be like, hey, I want this for my birthday. Like, you just venmo me. That's what I do with my mom. She's like, what can I get you? And I'm like, I want a vacuum cleaner. And she's like, I'm not getting that. I'm like, well, that's all I want.
[15:36]
Justin Sylvester
Where did you guys register?
[15:39]
Rachel Lindsay
We did our website on Zola.
[15:41]
Justin Sylvester
Nice.
[15:42]
Rachel Lindsay
And we're just doing like, buy us our first meal on our honeymoon. It's like kind of a cash fund, but like, it makes people feel like they're giving you stuff. And then like on our thank yous, we'll be like, thank you. For our first dinner, we went to here and had this and make them feel like. Yeah, yeah. I just feel like we, we're like already in our home and like we have enough stuff. So it's more about like the experiences. Like, if someone wants to buy us dance lessons, they can buy us dance lessons. Yeah.
[16:08]
Justin Sylvester
Let me give you a little hint too.
[16:09]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay.
[16:10]
Justin Sylvester
For your next wedding.
[16:11]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay.
[16:11]
Justin Sylvester
If you go to Gary's or like any like fancy store like in Beverly Hills that sells like china and all these other things, you can go ahead and tell them that you're going to register for all these things. People can buy it.
[16:24]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[16:25]
Justin Sylvester
And then you can get a credit to said store. So if you ever want a Rolex or watch or something really fancy, you can put all that money towards something that you really want.
[16:36]
Rachel Lindsay
What?
[16:36]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah, it's crazy. A lot of times when you get invites.
[16:39]
Rachel Lindsay
A hack.
[16:40]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. A lot of times when you get invites from like in the registries for these fancy ass stores.
[16:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[16:45]
Justin Sylvester
These people don't want a $38 spoon or a $275 cake cutter.
[16:50]
Rachel Lindsay
Is that's what this is, what's happening?
[16:51]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. That's all they want is a 275 to put towards a watch. And they got some good shit at Gary's.
[16:57]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. I've never been. You're just telling me about all the bougie things today. Yeah, all the bougie things.
[17:02]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. Yeah.
[17:03]
Rachel Lindsay
So you think you're the asshole on this one?
[17:05]
Justin Sylvester
I think you're the asshole on this one. You and your sister's gonna make you pay for it for at least a quarter.
[17:10]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, you're probably not gonna hear the end of it.
[17:12]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, no, no. You're probably not gonna get invited to the end of the second birthday. But let's be real. You're having kids, right?
[17:17]
Rachel Lindsay
That's the plan.
[17:19]
Justin Sylvester
The first birthdays are not really for the kids.
[17:23]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[17:23]
Justin Sylvester
They're more for like the mom to flex against the other moms. No, I'm dead serious. The mom flex is like a real thing.
[17:32]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
[17:34]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, the mom flex is real because they all try to outdo one another. It's like super sweet 16, but for moms.
[17:42]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my gosh. I'm telling you, this is going to be so fun.
[17:46]
Justin Sylvester
It's going to be so fun. Okay, congratulations.
[17:50]
Rachel Lindsay
So overall, vote on this one. Not the asshole.
[17:55]
Justin Sylvester
Damn.
[17:56]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, top comment. Not the asshole. Are they having her party on her actual birthday? If. No, definitely more of a reason that you are not the asshole.
[18:05]
Justin Sylvester
Ooh, who's your audience?
[18:09]
Rachel Lindsay
Well, this is. This is Reddit.
[18:11]
Justin Sylvester
That's crazy.
[18:12]
Rachel Lindsay
So I don't know, we might have to put this. We can put one of the stories today to the people and let them vote.
[18:16]
Justin Sylvester
Okay, let's see which one.
[18:17]
Rachel Lindsay
We'll see which one by the end. But next comment down, that party is for the parents, not the kid. And if someone cares, their aunt didn't go to their one year old birthday party party, they have other issues to deal with.
[18:29]
Justin Sylvester
Oof. It's more about the sisters is the thing.
[18:34]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[18:34]
Justin Sylvester
If it was your cousin, if it was like brother, sister, it would be a totally different thing. But two girls, it's like a whole different ball game.
[18:42]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[18:43]
Justin Sylvester
You know what I mean?
[18:44]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. Me and my little sister have an eight year age gap. Me and my older brother have an eight year age gap. And then my little brother, we have like three years. But it's also like, I kind of have different standards because I live so far from them.
[18:56]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[18:56]
Rachel Lindsay
So as like the aunt that's out of state, I've already. I miss everything. Yeah, I miss everything as it is.
[19:01]
Justin Sylvester
So you're the bougie aunt who like strolls in, you have no kids, you're rich, you're like, yeah, yeah. You're that whole aunt.
[19:07]
Rachel Lindsay
I took them to Disneyland. That was their Christmas gift. I was like, okay, you guys are going to Disneyland. But yeah, I'm like, I miss everything as it is. So like, hey, what's one more birthday for a Beyonce concert?
[19:17]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. I saw a meme the other day that was like, you remember that aunt who was rich and just traveled and drank all over the world? Congratulations, you have become her. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm that girl.
[19:28]
Rachel Lindsay
That's you.
[19:29]
Justin Sylvester
I'm that girl.
[19:30]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. What were you talking about? San Tropez.
[19:32]
Justin Sylvester
Yes.
[19:32]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, that's you.
[19:33]
Justin Sylvester
That's me all the way. God, I'm so happy I don't have to have kids.
[19:38]
Rachel Lindsay
I like, am terrified of childbirth.
[19:41]
Justin Sylvester
I don't. I actually don't think it's gonna be that terrible. It's not horrible. I've been with two of my friends when they've had kids and they block it out. It's like they have blacked out. They don't remember anything. It's wild.
[19:53]
Rachel Lindsay
I saw this girl's TikTok story and she gave it to you straight. And she had some crazy birth experience.
[19:59]
Justin Sylvester
Did she shit on herself?
[20:01]
Rachel Lindsay
No. That's like. I'm happy to shit on myself if I can avoid whatever she went through. Like, oh, my God, the vacuum, the clamps, the forceps. The cervix balloon. Damn, I learned about this one. The Phillips balloon or some shit. Hell no.
[20:17]
Justin Sylvester
Listen, more power to the ladies who have home birth. But when I see a bathtub in a room at your house in Topanga Canyon, I'm like, girl, get out of there. Run.
[20:28]
Rachel Lindsay
I know.
[20:29]
Justin Sylvester
Go to the hospital. You never know what could happen.
[20:31]
Rachel Lindsay
I want to be in the hospital, but I definitely want to just soak in a tub.
[20:35]
Justin Sylvester
Do you really?
[20:36]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Cause, like, water helps not tear. Well, I know there's dolphin assisted births. Like, I thought about that. No joke. Dolphins sonar.
[20:46]
Justin Sylvester
Don't do it. No, do not do it now, girl. Don't do it. Get your ass to the hospital. Getting them forceps. Do it. Just do. Get it. That baby out.
[20:56]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, man. Okay, moving on to this next one here. We're going to get into a little wedding mess before we move on to other things. This one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is one one day old. Very fresh.
[21:11]
Justin Sylvester
Very fresh.
[21:12]
Rachel Lindsay
Very fresh. It is titled Am I the Asshole for Secretly Selling Alcohol at my Dry Wedding to Cover costs.
[21:20]
Justin Sylvester
Stop. Prohibition wedding. Prohibition wedding. Keep on going.
[21:27]
Rachel Lindsay
So I, 27, female, recently got married. My husband, 29, male, and I planned a pretty big wedding. About 300 guests. It was beautiful. Honestly, a dream. There's just one thing. Our families are super conservative and very religious. So we told everyone it would be a dry wedding, AKA no alcohol. That decision kept the peace with our parents and extended family. As we all know, weddings are expensive and we were footing most of the bill ourselves. I saw an opportunity and took it. I hired a licensed bartender friend of mine to set up a VIP bar hidden at the venue. It was a large event hall with a garden and private side rooms. I gave a heads up to about 75 of our younger friends and more chill cousins, the alcoholics, and basically had them pay for drinks. Think wedding speakeasy. You said prohibition.
[22:28]
Justin Sylvester
I'm loving it.
[22:29]
Rachel Lindsay
The drinks were priced reasonably, like $5 a beer, $8 for cocktails.
[22:34]
Justin Sylvester
Shut up.
[22:35]
Rachel Lindsay
And people were happy to pay it because one, open bar weddings are rare in our circle, and two, they thought it was kind of fun. Long story short, between the money from drinks and tips, we made about $2,000.
[22:50]
Justin Sylvester
Shut up.
[22:51]
Rachel Lindsay
Which helped cover part of the catering bell. The issue is, word got out.
[22:56]
Justin Sylvester
No.
[22:57]
Rachel Lindsay
A few of my aunts overheard someone Talking about the secret bar. And now my mom is livid. She says I lied to everyone, disrespected the family, and made a mockery of our values.
[23:10]
Justin Sylvester
Ooh.
[23:11]
Rachel Lindsay
My mother in law also called me manipulative and selfish dam. But honestly, most of our guests didn't even know it happened. And the ones who did loved it. We didn't force anyone to drink. We just gave the option discreetly. My husband is kind of in the middle. He gets why I did it, but wishes I had told him beforehand.
[23:32]
Justin Sylvester
Wait, hold on. We're going to call him Jenny and John. Jenny didn't tell John that she was slanging liquor outside like she was on Boardwalk Empire.
[23:41]
Rachel Lindsay
I didn't because I knew he'd get stressed and say no out of guilt.
[23:47]
Justin Sylvester
They must be Mormon.
[23:48]
Rachel Lindsay
So am I the asshole for secretly selling alcohol at my wedding to offset the cost?
[23:53]
Justin Sylvester
All right, I'm calling this woman Jenny. First of all, Jenny, this is your wedding. You do what you want to do. Okay. I can't tell you who to sock it to, but if you want to sell some liquor in the back at a reasonable price, One, I'm not mad at it. Two, I like that you kept it reasonably priced.
[24:10]
Rachel Lindsay
Five bucks for a beer, eight bucks for a cocktail.
[24:13]
Justin Sylvester
Not terrible, not bad. It also is an experience for people to feel like, oh, my God, this is a secret, I'm part of something. I kind of love that whole vibe. Maybe I might do something similar to my wedding, but with maybe like, you know, maybe some pot, you know, a little THC or like, you know, a little mushroom bar or something in the back. However, if you can't afford 300 people at your wedding, you shouldn't have 300 people at your wedding.
[24:42]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[24:43]
Justin Sylvester
Maybe knock it down to 250 or 225.
[24:46]
Rachel Lindsay
300 is crazy.
[24:47]
Justin Sylvester
300 is crazy. But having 300 when you can't afford 300 is my big. Like, like, just knock it down a bit.
[24:58]
Rachel Lindsay
I know.
[24:58]
Justin Sylvester
Also, you gotta tell John that I.
[25:01]
Rachel Lindsay
Think is kind of goofy. It's like you didn't tell your partner.
[25:05]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. You got to tell John that is.
[25:08]
Rachel Lindsay
That's bad. That's bad. I'm like, if you want to have a speakeasy, I actually do like it. Do I think the cash and making people pay aspect is a little tacky? Yeah. I mean, you only got 2,000, which is a lot of money.
[25:21]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[25:21]
Rachel Lindsay
But like, when you're having a 300 person wedding, two grand isn't.
[25:26]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[25:26]
Rachel Lindsay
It's a drop in the hat.
[25:27]
Justin Sylvester
It's a drop in the hat.
[25:28]
Rachel Lindsay
It's a drop in the hat.
[25:28]
Justin Sylvester
So you should up the prices. You should up the prices.
[25:31]
Rachel Lindsay
Honestly, I hate the fact that it was $8, not just 10. I'm like, why isn't. Just make it even.
[25:37]
Justin Sylvester
Just make it even.
[25:37]
Rachel Lindsay
Make it even.
[25:38]
Justin Sylvester
Have you ever been to a dry wedding?
[25:40]
Rachel Lindsay
No.
[25:41]
Justin Sylvester
Okay. I respect people who want to have dry weddings.
[25:44]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[25:44]
Justin Sylvester
You know, like, if you want to do that, I respect it. I get the conservative. I get the Catholic, Mormon, whatever it is. I totally understand it. And as my friend, I'm going to show up. I would have appreciated that speakeasy, because at dry weddings, you have to try to sneak alcohol in. You have to go to the next reception over to try to get a beer from the. You know, the Markowitz Barbara. It's the, like. So having that speakeasy, I think as a guest, I really would have appreciated.
[26:13]
Rachel Lindsay
I think it's a cool experience, and.
[26:14]
Justin Sylvester
I think it's a good hustle, especially if you made it, like, oh, follow this and follow this. Like Alice in Wonderland, kind of down the rabbit hole. So I think Jenny was, you know, that was kind of smart. You know what I mean?
[26:28]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm just shocked she didn't tell her husband.
[26:31]
Justin Sylvester
You know what? Sometimes you gotta just eat some from John.
[26:34]
Rachel Lindsay
It's like, oh, my gosh. It's like. It's giving, like,'50s housewife where they'd get, like, the Stouffer's lasagna out of the freezer and, like, put it in their casserole dish. Then it's like, you had a good time. Like, you enjoyed your meal. What's. What's the difference?
[26:47]
Justin Sylvester
I used to have a neighbor who was married for 25 years.
[26:52]
Rachel Lindsay
Wow.
[26:53]
Justin Sylvester
Maybe together for 25 years, married for 20. And she. I would see her. We had to share the gate, and she would come through my gate and come have a cigarette on my patio, like, in the middle of the day. Like, I just saw her on my nest camera, and I was like, what the hell is going on? Like, she would just, like, during COVID she would, like, just come sneak over and come sneak a cigarette, and then she would go back. So every, like, week, I would, like, put an ashtray out or put some matches or, like, I would, like, put a glass of, like, a beer or, like, a glass of wine. Like, you know, for her to, like, be like, yeah, bitch, I see you. And I went to talk to her, and she was like, oh, I have had a cigarette, one cigarette a day for the last 20 years. And my husband has no idea. Oh, so she wears a glove. She does a whole nine yards. She has, like, a dental pack in the back of that gate. Like, she is.
[27:44]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God.
[27:45]
Justin Sylvester
Stealth. So I understand not telling your husband certain things, but that's a big one.
[27:51]
Rachel Lindsay
I would. And see, I would clock that. I smell cigarette. I'm like a little bloodhound dog. Like, I smell that shit so fast.
[27:57]
Justin Sylvester
Would you clock it?
[27:58]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I smell everything. Unfortunately.
[28:01]
Justin Sylvester
By the way, you probably keep things from your man. No, you're pretty.
[28:06]
Rachel Lindsay
We're. Yeah, we're very. Just transparent. We don't have anything.
[28:10]
Justin Sylvester
He knows all your purchases.
[28:12]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[28:12]
Justin Sylvester
He knows your Amazon addiction.
[28:14]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Well, I put my or my amex card on his Apple Pay in case, like, my phone dies, you know, and I need my card still for shopping. And so he now gets notifications every time I go shopping. And he'll. He'll clock in, he'll be like, what did you just get at Abercrombie? I'm like, a whole new wardrobe.
[28:33]
Justin Sylvester
Delete that card. Delete that card.
[28:36]
Rachel Lindsay
Don't yell at me.
[28:37]
Justin Sylvester
Delete that card.
[28:38]
Rachel Lindsay
I know I gotta pull it off there.
[28:40]
Justin Sylvester
Women have to have a little bit of anonymity. You have to have a tiny bit of anonymity when it comes to finances.
[28:48]
Rachel Lindsay
I think you need your own account. Like, you should not. I fully teach their own. But if you only have a joint account with your partner, you're dumb.
[28:57]
Justin Sylvester
You are a fool. You are.
[28:58]
Rachel Lindsay
Don't do that. I just saw a study actually. Happy, healthy couples actually have four bank accounts.
[29:04]
Justin Sylvester
Yes.
[29:05]
Rachel Lindsay
You see that?
[29:05]
Justin Sylvester
Yes, I saw it. Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
[29:07]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Joint account for, like, all of your home expenses, rent, whatever, joint savings, his, hers, or theirs, and theirs, whatever combo. Like, that's how it should be.
[29:18]
Justin Sylvester
That's how it should be.
[29:19]
Rachel Lindsay
Four counts.
[29:20]
Justin Sylvester
Also, like, you know, it's crazy that people automatically. And this is a hot take. I think women, straight people do this where they think, like, oh, we're getting married. We gotta be in joint accounts. We gotta be in this. We gotta be, like, one sole person. I love being gay because I know that when I get married or have a partner, I can make up my own rules. Part of the gay experience is that we're all just figuring it out. And we've been figuring it out since the 80s and 90s.
[29:48]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[29:49]
Justin Sylvester
So we don't go back to the 1800s. You know what I mean? Like, we just started this whole gay marriage thing in the early 2000s.
[29:56]
Rachel Lindsay
I mean, 2015, people everywhere.
[29:58]
Justin Sylvester
There's just like a lot of leeway for us to be ourselves. And I'm seeing a lot of younger people starting to, you know, really take their individuality into a marriage, which I like. Because you have to be individual.
[30:15]
Rachel Lindsay
Absolutely. I know my brother and sister in law, like, they only have joint accounts. I'm like, what? You guys are crazy.
[30:23]
Justin Sylvester
You know, Nicola Peltz and. And Brooklyn Beckham only have joint accounts.
[30:27]
Rachel Lindsay
I feel like when you're that rich.
[30:28]
Justin Sylvester
Though, it gets even scarier.
[30:30]
Rachel Lindsay
It's. I wonder what their prenup is like.
[30:33]
Justin Sylvester
I don't think they have one. Actually. You know what? They do because she's a billionaire.
[30:37]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I'm like, there's no way her dad would not like. It's probably more favorable for her, which. 100%, which is how prenups should be. No. Now we're really getting messy.
[30:47]
Justin Sylvester
We're really getting into it.
[30:48]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. Where do you think the people went on this one? Asshole. Not the asshole.
[30:53]
Justin Sylvester
I think. Not the asshole. I think half are going to be asshole because she didn't tell her husband.
[30:58]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[30:59]
Justin Sylvester
But not the asshole for being creative. And it's your wedding.
[31:03]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. So overall, vote asshole. No asshole.
[31:08]
Justin Sylvester
Stop.
[31:10]
Rachel Lindsay
So top comment with 23,000 upvotes.
[31:15]
Justin Sylvester
Stop.
[31:16]
Rachel Lindsay
You're the asshole. Dude, I was so on board with you. This was a great idea until you neglected to inform your spouse.
[31:26]
Justin Sylvester
I know.
[31:27]
Rachel Lindsay
If you both had agreed, then frankly, I'd say your conservative family values don't matter, but your spouse's does.
[31:35]
Justin Sylvester
Damn.
[31:36]
Rachel Lindsay
Let this be a lesson in marriage for the future. Always consult your partner. The rest of the world can be against you, but you both should always have the other's back. By lying to them, you weren't being a good life partner.
[31:48]
Justin Sylvester
All right. I mean, we're on the same page. We like the creativity, but we hated that she didn't tell John.
[31:53]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Next comment down. Yeah. Quote, I didn't tell you because I knew you'd say no. It's a bad way to start a marriage.
[32:00]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, no, I know.
[32:02]
Rachel Lindsay
I do agree with that. And I also think, like, if he would have said no, I think it would have, like, maybe spoke to bigger issues where it's like he's more so aligning with his family versus you guys and what you really want.
[32:15]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[32:15]
Rachel Lindsay
And that could be something to, like, watch out for in the future.
[32:20]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah, but that's a big one. That's like a big one. I still love the Secret Garden, though.
[32:25]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm for it.
[32:26]
Justin Sylvester
I'm kind of here for it.
[32:27]
Rachel Lindsay
I think this is really cool to have. Like, I'm like, thinking about how I can do this for mine. Where it's like, there's a special little activation speakeasy somewhere where it's like, if.
[32:38]
Justin Sylvester
You know, you know, only shots. Like an ice house. Like a little spot where it's like 20 degrees in there and you can go and get ice shots or. That'll be fun.
[32:47]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my gosh. There's this bar in Chicago, it's Federales, and they have ice shots. So you take your shot out of ice, which makes every shot actually doable. And then you take your shot glass and they have this bell, and you try to throw it at the bell and hit it.
[33:04]
Justin Sylvester
No. Have you been to China Bay?
[33:06]
Rachel Lindsay
No. What's this one?
[33:07]
Justin Sylvester
Mexico. They have the same thing.
[33:08]
Rachel Lindsay
Ooh.
[33:09]
Justin Sylvester
But you have to get in a bucket. And if you get in the bucket, you get another shot.
[33:13]
Rachel Lindsay
Dangerous. I'm curious if there's any comments from OP on on this one yet. Just to be like, okay, I hear you guys.
[33:22]
Justin Sylvester
No shame coming.
[33:23]
Rachel Lindsay
No comments.
[33:24]
Justin Sylvester
Jenny is not commenting.
[33:25]
Rachel Lindsay
No comments. I mean, seems like it's a very real account. Like, some people kind of always question Reddit stories. Like, oh, are you sure that one's real? I mean, this account, this person has been on Reddit since 2019.
[33:40]
Justin Sylvester
Damn.
[33:41]
Rachel Lindsay
Commenting on posts, giving advice regularly. So I would assume this is a very real account, a part of the six Year Club. Verified email.
[33:50]
Justin Sylvester
I just got on Reddit.
[33:51]
Rachel Lindsay
This is real.
[33:52]
Justin Sylvester
I just got on Reddit. It's a scary place.
[33:54]
Rachel Lindsay
How are you liking it? Scary?
[33:56]
Justin Sylvester
It's rabbit holy. Yeah, you can go down some real big rabbit holes. And you know what? When I'm trying to fight that Ambien at night, Reddit is not a good place for me to be. Bitch.
[34:06]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm like, you're setting yourself up.
[34:08]
Justin Sylvester
I'm like biz fighting an Ambien, trying to stay up. And I'm on Reddit trying to figure out, like, who killed jfk. Like, it's like, so crazy.
[34:16]
Rachel Lindsay
The Conspir conspiracy subs are dangerous.
[34:20]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah, but they're kind of good. Oh, my God. How do you.
[34:23]
Rachel Lindsay
Who do you think killed JFK?
[34:24]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, I have my theories. Thanks to GBT817.
[34:33]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God.
[34:33]
Justin Sylvester
Can't believe.
[34:35]
Rachel Lindsay
I can't believe.
[34:36]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, Jenny didn't tell her, man.
[34:39]
Rachel Lindsay
No. Big lesson to learn.
[34:40]
Justin Sylvester
Damn.
[34:41]
Rachel Lindsay
Big lesson to learn. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Just like giving a take on this show, there's a lot of options to choose from, and it can be hard. State Farm has options to choose from to help you find coverage that best fits your needs. A lot easier than picking a good take. So talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. Okay, we're gonna get to both of these, but which one do you want first? Clowns or a baby shower?
[35:23]
Justin Sylvester
Let's do baby shower because clowns scare me.
[35:26]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh no.
[35:27]
Justin Sylvester
I hate clowns.
[35:28]
Rachel Lindsay
Well, you're gonna love this story then. This is coming from our very own Too hot takes. Subreddit 17 days old titled my husband's family threw a baby shower for his ex and invited me to be the bigger person.
[35:46]
Justin Sylvester
Read this story because this is crazy.
[35:49]
Rachel Lindsay
I, 28, female, am currently seven months pregnant with my first baby. My husband, 31, male, and I have been married for almost two years and everything's been mostly great until this happened. My husband's ex, let's call her Jess, is pregnant too. They dated for four years and broke up two years before we met. Now she's expecting a baby with someone else. I don't know her personally, but I've heard enough through his family to know that she still talks to his mom and sisters occasionally. Fine, whatever. Last weekend, my mother in law invited us over for a family brunch. I waddled my puffy pregnant self over there, expecting waffles instead. It was a surprise baby shower for Jess.
[36:36]
Justin Sylvester
Stop.
[36:37]
Rachel Lindsay
Yes, you read that right. The decorations were pink and gold, her name was on a banner, and she showed up 15 minutes after we did the worst part. Mother in law looked me dead in the eyes and said, quote, I hope you don't mind, sweetheart. We didn't want to exclude you. Your family now and it's important to show grace. Show grace. I sat through exactly 12 minutes of small talk, hormones boiling, before quietly excusing myself and driving home. My husband stayed behind because he was too stunned to leave. He tried to defend them, saying they were just being kind. Jess doesn't have a lot of support. I'm sorry, but what kind of Twilight Zone logic is that? They could have had a private thing. Why invite me to my husband's ex's baby shower while I'm still trying to feel comfortable in my own changing body? Now his mom's texting me, saying, I hope you'll apologize to Jess for making her Uncomfortable by leaving early. Hot take. I'm not apologizing, and I'm definitely not going to another brunch unless I bring a therapist and a flask. Am I the asshole?
[37:48]
Justin Sylvester
No. And don't apologize.
[37:51]
Rachel Lindsay
Hell no.
[37:52]
Justin Sylvester
First and foremost, damn, this is a bougie problem. This sounds like a bougie white lady problem. Like, that mama's name is like Barbara. Like, she is literally like, running the show. Barbara and Jess were really close, and this is more of a control thing than a let's be nice thing.
[38:14]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[38:15]
Justin Sylvester
Okay. Like, just to let you know, like, your mother in law was putting her dick on the table. Just to let you know who runs this show here.
[38:22]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[38:23]
Justin Sylvester
Okay. First of all, she should have let you know. That's the.
[38:26]
Rachel Lindsay
That's the first and foremost is like this.
[38:30]
Justin Sylvester
This is terrible.
[38:32]
Rachel Lindsay
It's really, really bad. Because also, like, our writer is seven months pregnant with their first baby. Right?
[38:39]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[38:40]
Rachel Lindsay
If I rolled up and I started seeing balloons and baby decor, I'd be like, oh, my God, they threw a baby shower for me.
[38:45]
Justin Sylvester
Boom.
[38:46]
Rachel Lindsay
It's not for her. It's for the husband's ex. They haven't had a baby shower for her.
[38:54]
Justin Sylvester
I don't even care if I was seven months off a cruise ship. Okay? Looking the best I've ever looked. I don't give a shit if I walk into my mother in law's house and she's throwing a baby shower for my husband's ex and didn't tell me or prepare me before. She probably rolled up there in sweats and everything. Like, not even like, you know what I mean? If I'm gonna run into my. My husband's eggs, I wanna look hot as fuck.
[39:21]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. She said she waddled. She waddled my puffy pregnant self over there expecting waffles. Oh, and that's the thing. I'm hungry, I'm hangry. And then you spring this on me.
[39:31]
Justin Sylvester
And I probably left without a plate.
[39:33]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm. I'm actually impressed she stayed 15 minutes. Because I wouldn't have stayed 15 seconds.
[39:38]
Justin Sylvester
The real asshole here is the fact that your husband didn't waddle over with you back to the house.
[39:45]
Rachel Lindsay
That that's what he should have did. The fact he stayed, which is almost like it's sending a message to the family that, like, I'm okay with this. I support this. Fuck my wife.
[39:56]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, 100%.
[39:57]
Rachel Lindsay
What?
[39:58]
Justin Sylvester
But by the way, the mom has been pulling this type of inception bullshit since the dawn of time.
[40:05]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[40:05]
Justin Sylvester
I can go ahead and tell you that her Sisters have dealt with this since they were kids. Like, this woman is a control maniac.
[40:14]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Barbara goes by Babs. Trying to maybe secretly get this daughter in law she wishes she had back with hubby, keeping her close to the family, welcoming her.
[40:29]
Justin Sylvester
Jess probably also wore David Yuriman too, and liked Barbara. And she and Barbara had a close relationship. And this new wife was probably a little bit spicier and maybe a little bit more opinionated than Jess was.
[40:42]
Rachel Lindsay
Barbara does not approve.
[40:44]
Justin Sylvester
Barbara does not fully approve. And Barbara wanted you to know that at the most vulnerable time in your life. By the way, fuck Barbara, when you.
[40:53]
Rachel Lindsay
Put it like that. She wanted you to know that at the most vulnerable time of your life.
[41:00]
Justin Sylvester
My mother in law and I would have fought tooth and nail. Okay. Yeah, I'd be swinging today.
[41:06]
Rachel Lindsay
No, I, I would have not let this fly. And do not apologize. Not the asshole. Like, I think you honestly have a bigger issue with your husband. And I think this is gonna come up again and again with birthday parties, with other life events where, oh, you know, Jess needs to come. She's family. Show some grace. It's like, ma' am, you're gonna get cut out if you continue with this behavior. And if the husband doesn't put his foot down and say that and set a boundary, you are gonna have a really tough go and might have to make some big decisions down the line, by the way.
[41:44]
Justin Sylvester
You are so right. But I think a lot of people. I want like a lightly crispy relationship with my mother in law. Just like a slightly crispy one. Just like a little.
[41:54]
Rachel Lindsay
What is a slightly crispy.
[41:55]
Justin Sylvester
This is deep fried.
[41:57]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay, that's.
[41:58]
Justin Sylvester
That's deep fried. You're gonna let, let that cool off for like, like an hour or two before you put it in your mouth?
[42:04]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[42:04]
Justin Sylvester
Okay. I just want something that's a little bit. Like you get a pancake and it's just a little bit crispy on the outside. Like, you know, like she wants to host Christmas, but I want to host Christmas. And it's kind of a standoff, that kind of thing. Maybe she makes like a appropriate comment like, oh, that's a low top today. Like, just something like a little light. Because everyone loves a tiny bit of drama. That shit is deep.
[42:27]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[42:27]
Justin Sylvester
Like, I don't want. Have you been reading up on this Victoria Beckham, Nicola Peltz situation?
[42:33]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I just heard about the, like the private concert and the wedding.
[42:36]
Justin Sylvester
Did you see the whole first dance thing at the wedding?
[42:39]
Rachel Lindsay
No. With the, With Marc Anthony? Yes.
[42:42]
Justin Sylvester
Yes.
[42:43]
Rachel Lindsay
I hope that's True. That's insane behavior.
[42:46]
Justin Sylvester
That is extra crispy.
[42:48]
Rachel Lindsay
So for those that don't know, give him the lowdown.
[42:50]
Justin Sylvester
Okay. So there has been this big rift between the Beckhams and their kid and his new wife. So David and Victoria versus Brooklyn and his wife, Nicola Peltz. Okay. Now, there has been some controversy around this whole thing because apparently word has gotten out that at their wedding, Marc Anthony got on the mic and said, I want to call up the most beautiful girl in the room and said, brooke Lynn, come here and dance with your mom.
[43:23]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, one would assume that would be about the bride. The most beautiful girl in the room about the bride. This is about the bride and groom.
[43:31]
Justin Sylvester
Yes. The one thing that I am missing is the timestamp on this whole thing.
[43:36]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[43:36]
Justin Sylvester
Like, I need to know where in.
[43:38]
Rachel Lindsay
The wedding was this first dance?
[43:39]
Justin Sylvester
Was it first dance? Was it midway through?
[43:42]
Rachel Lindsay
Was it towards the end?
[43:44]
Justin Sylvester
If it was first dance, I'm duking it out. Oh, we're fighting like two fucking cats in a bag. Okay. We're going at it in this Valentino dress.
[43:52]
Rachel Lindsay
Did you say big?
[43:55]
Justin Sylvester
Two cats and a B egg. Okay, we're going at it. So if this is true, I kind of sort of feel like we're fighting.
[44:04]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[44:05]
Justin Sylvester
But you know what? Again, it's about the dominance. It's about control, you know? But we don't know. Yeah, we don't know. But New York Post is like going crazy over it, and now they're talking through sources. So something.
[44:19]
Rachel Lindsay
There's a rift for sure. There's definitely a rift. I mean, I feel like it started.
[44:23]
Justin Sylvester
When the wedding dress drama.
[44:25]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Where people were like, your mother in law is a designer and you're not having her make your dress or a dress even, like.
[44:31]
Justin Sylvester
But now the whole thing came out that she said that Victoria, she was. She was down. She was like, you know what? I'm going to wear Victoria Beckham at my wedding.
[44:39]
Rachel Lindsay
Did she say no?
[44:39]
Justin Sylvester
Then Victoria Beckham said, oh, we won't have time. The Atlee can't make it because they're getting ready for Paris Fashion Week or whatever it was.
[44:47]
Rachel Lindsay
Baby girl, you make it happen.
[44:49]
Justin Sylvester
Baby girl. I don't care if you have to go buy Monique Lillier and put your name on it.
[44:52]
Rachel Lindsay
You make it happen. You make it happen for your daughter in law.
[44:54]
Justin Sylvester
You make it happen.
[44:55]
Rachel Lindsay
The publicity for your brand, even.
[44:57]
Justin Sylvester
That's what I'm saying.
[44:57]
Rachel Lindsay
And the sentimental value, I think it's.
[44:59]
Justin Sylvester
Kind of sort of a. But if I was a mother in law and I felt like My daughter in law didn't respect me.
[45:04]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[45:04]
Justin Sylvester
I think I'd be playing Hunger Games too.
[45:07]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[45:08]
Justin Sylvester
It's a lot of mind games.
[45:09]
Rachel Lindsay
It is. I think early on especially. And they've only been together. They've been married for almost two years. No mention of, like, how long before that. But I think early on in relationships, like, you do have to establish boundaries with your family and you kind of learn, okay, like, this new person's coming in. Where does everyone fall now?
[45:30]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[45:31]
Rachel Lindsay
Loyalties are strong, shifting a little bit and that there's some things to work through there, but you have to work through them. You can't keep burying them under the rug and then stay at the baby shower.
[45:39]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, another. No, no. 100%. I also feel like the Beckhams were always a big fish in a small pond. Like, they were always that couple. Like, okay, like, anybody who my son is dating feels so lucky to be a part of the Beckhams.
[45:55]
Rachel Lindsay
So I could see that.
[45:56]
Justin Sylvester
You know, like, we never talked about Christmas because it was no competition. You were gonna go to the Beckhams, like, or if I have a boat the 22nd. You're coming when I tell you. Because we're the Beckhams. The Peltzes got more money than the Beckhams.
[46:10]
Rachel Lindsay
A different level.
[46:12]
Justin Sylvester
And with money comes control. So if we're duking it out to which family's gonna host what and where things are gonna be, where Christmas is gonna be, like, again, it's more of a control thing than anything. And I just don't think that they were used to it. Not that, you know, they did it maliciously. I just think it's two alphas. Nicola's mama and Victoria's mama. Probably battling it out behind the scenes.
[46:38]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. Don't you just. I just want to, like, this is the people you want the reality show from. Like, these. And we're getting it to here.
[46:46]
Justin Sylvester
We're getting the Victoria Beckham. We're getting a Victoria Beckham Netflix reality show.
[46:51]
Rachel Lindsay
You think they'll show it?
[46:53]
Justin Sylvester
No, they sweep that shit under the rug, you guys. I know that's all they do. But we're going to get in the New York Post because rich people fight in the Post.
[47:02]
Rachel Lindsay
I love tea. I just, like, love the scoop.
[47:06]
Justin Sylvester
I like high tea. I don't want to go on Instagram and hear about your baby daddy cheating on you. I don't want to go on Instagram and read, like, you know, a deep quote about, like, moving on and see you with a new haircut. Like, fuck that, like, I want to hear what happened. I want to hear the facts, and I want to hear them from a reliable source like Us Weekly. Okay? I want to hear them from that.
[47:29]
Rachel Lindsay
That's it for Justin. Okay?
[47:31]
Justin Sylvester
That's what I want to hear.
[47:32]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my gosh. Top comment on this one. Wow. They could have worn you or spoken to you and your husband before the event. Have they thrown a shower for you for their own grandkid, niece, or nephew? Or even brought it up? Also, your husband defending them and demeaning your feelings needs to be addressed.
[47:51]
Justin Sylvester
Boom.
[47:51]
Rachel Lindsay
Since you are having a child together, he needs to learn to put you and your child's needs first. You could be in for a long 18 plus years if this isn't addressed now. And put your foot down on this, honey.
[48:05]
Justin Sylvester
She probably also knew who she was marrying. You can look at a man on that first interaction with his mother and you can tell where his allegiance is gonna be. You can also look at the dad. Defer to the dad if the mom tells you every single thing and is running the whole show. And the dad is like, happy wife, happy life. And he's been doing that for 53 years. God damn it. Your son's been doing the same thing. So defer to the dad if the dad has no say.
[48:35]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, that's interesting.
[48:36]
Justin Sylvester
He's been castrated by all. By the mom and all three kids over the years.
[48:40]
Rachel Lindsay
Damn. Yeah. Damn.
[48:42]
Justin Sylvester
Justin, by the way, if I'm dating somebody and I meet their parents, I always defer to what they're like in their relationship.
[48:50]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I know. And we've had stories on this in the past where people like, have literally broken up after meeting the in laws because they're like, the dynamic is too fucked up and I don't want anyone part in it.
[48:58]
Justin Sylvester
No.
[48:59]
Rachel Lindsay
And that's like something you, you do have to consider when dating. Like your in laws, for a lot of people at least, are like, they become a part of your life.
[49:07]
Justin Sylvester
They're.
[49:08]
Rachel Lindsay
They're your new family. So if you don't like them, is that person worth staying with for? Crappy in laws. You gotta ask yourself sometimes.
[49:15]
Justin Sylvester
My in laws live in Amsterdam.
[49:17]
Rachel Lindsay
Ooh.
[49:18]
Justin Sylvester
Amen.
[49:19]
Rachel Lindsay
Ooh, that's.
[49:20]
Justin Sylvester
That's a plane, train in the automobile. There's a hike to my house.
[49:22]
Rachel Lindsay
No, that's a hike.
[49:24]
Justin Sylvester
Barbara is not, you know, popping up at my house in the middle of the day to ask my son to go for a walk with her. It's not happen in.
[49:31]
Rachel Lindsay
No. This next comment does make a really good point. Surprise Parties are not a surprise for guests. Just one person gets a surprise. I hate a surprise. Birdie.
[49:43]
Justin Sylvester
I want one, but I want to control it.
[49:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[49:46]
Justin Sylvester
Like, yeah. Unless John Legend is there and y' all don't want to tell me you're Usher. Like, we're good.
[49:53]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. No, I hate a surprise. I know I'm hard to buy gifts for because, like, please stick to the list. I'm a particular one. I'm a particular one, but I love it. Oh, this.
[50:05]
Justin Sylvester
Anyway, there's a cash bar in the bag.
[50:08]
Rachel Lindsay
Well, it will be free, but I'm not opposed to a speakeasy.
[50:11]
Justin Sylvester
You have to have one now.
[50:12]
Rachel Lindsay
I, like, need one now.
[50:14]
Justin Sylvester
You have to have one. What's your theme for your wedding?
[50:18]
Rachel Lindsay
Bougie cowboy. Ooh, it's like bougie cowboys. How it's turned out to be. The invitation was, like, cocktail attire required, Cowboy boots and coats encouraged. And so we are, like, atrium style. Tent, lights, chandeliers, big olive tree in the center, circle bar around it, maybe some saddle bar stools. But, like, working on that. That might have to be a doi of mine.
[50:42]
Justin Sylvester
I love that.
[50:43]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. So it should be really, really good. I wanted a Ferris wheel at one point, but then I found out how much they were, so that got cut.
[50:49]
Justin Sylvester
Crazy.
[50:50]
Rachel Lindsay
That got cut. But we're gonna have.
[50:52]
Justin Sylvester
Carousel was also cute, too, by the way.
[50:53]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I thought so.
[50:55]
Justin Sylvester
A carousel is, like, a lot cheaper.
[50:56]
Rachel Lindsay
Instead of a Ferris wheel.
[50:57]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. And by the way, that would be cute.
[50:59]
Rachel Lindsay
It'd fit the vibe.
[51:00]
Justin Sylvester
It's. The theme is cowboy.
[51:03]
Rachel Lindsay
I know.
[51:03]
Justin Sylvester
So if you can find an old rustic one.
[51:05]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, even for a photo op, it.
[51:07]
Justin Sylvester
Doesn'T even have to move. No, it doesn't even have to move.
[51:10]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay, I'll get on Facebook Marketplace after this.
[51:11]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah, go look at that Ferris wheel.
[51:13]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. Yeah, we're having a beer donkey. Oh, so that'll be good.
[51:16]
Justin Sylvester
I don't know what that is.
[51:17]
Rachel Lindsay
It's like a little donkey that delivers beer to you.
[51:19]
Justin Sylvester
Come on. Champagne.
[51:20]
Rachel Lindsay
Because I don't like, like, beer. So she.
[51:22]
Justin Sylvester
Come on white lady. I love that.
[51:25]
Rachel Lindsay
Nothing a white lady loves more than an animal.
[51:27]
Justin Sylvester
A beer donkey. Y' all love to incorporate animals.
[51:30]
Rachel Lindsay
Love an animal, by the way.
[51:31]
Justin Sylvester
I didn't know that until I moved to la.
[51:33]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God.
[51:34]
Justin Sylvester
Zoo llama craze in the early.
[51:36]
Rachel Lindsay
Isn't it crazy?
[51:37]
Justin Sylvester
20, like, 15, 16s. Like, damn, the llamas were working harder than anybody.
[51:42]
Rachel Lindsay
They are the goats doing yoga now?
[51:44]
Justin Sylvester
Come on.
[51:45]
Rachel Lindsay
I mean, people are now having puppy adoption events at their weddings, getting puppies homes.
[51:51]
Justin Sylvester
That's kind of cute. But by the way, can you imagine waking up the next morning and figuring out that you adopted a goddamn puppy? And by the way, hold on. Would it be even worse if it's giving bridesmaids? Yeah, literally, it's giving bridesmaids.
[52:03]
Rachel Lindsay
How many of those did you take?
[52:04]
Justin Sylvester
I'd be pissed.
[52:06]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh my God, I want a puppy so bad.
[52:08]
Justin Sylvester
What's that clown story?
[52:09]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, you ready for it?
[52:12]
Justin Sylvester
I'm ready to be pissed off.
[52:16]
Rachel Lindsay
This episode is brought to you by Shopify. When I started this podcast, I had no idea how I was going to get merch and all of your hands. Shopify. They made it so easy to get a store set up and let you guys shop. Having a good partner is the key to success. And if you're running an e commerce business, Shopify makes a great business partner. They have the tools to start and grow your business from designing a website to marketing and beyond. Turn your big business idea into Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com THT when you hear Lululemon, you probably think of Align yoga pants. Weightlessly soft, like you're wearing next to nothing. That's why you see them in class, at the grocery store and in the park. But did you know about skirts with built in liner shorts so you can still jump for the frisbee and tanks and bodysuits with Align's iconic stretch, you won't want to take it off. And with endless style options, you don't have have to shop in store or online@lululemon.com the Clown Clowns, plural. It's coming from Am I the Asshole? It is three months old, titled Am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend to suck it up around my clown figurines first interactions.
[53:36]
Justin Sylvester
Yes. If it's at your house, yeah, you could do whatever you want. It's your property. Your girlfriend doesn't have to come there if she doesn't want. But if it's a mutual space, we gonna fight.
[53:46]
Rachel Lindsay
Me, 26 male, and my girlfriend, 24 female, have been dating for two years. Since we started dating, she's known that I love clowns. I have several porcelain clowns displayed around my house on walls, hung from the ceiling, on little swings and on shelves. I adore these weird little creatures. Well, last week I bought two Venetian masks from a thrift store and they're in great condition. I got them for a decent price too. She hates them. She said they're creepy and give her bad vibes. Whatever that means I told her that I would take down the masks when she's staying the night, but I'm not getting rid of them. She told me that was fine. Yesterday she got up and told me that we needed to talk. She told me that she's sick of seeing my weird decorations and clown toys everywhere. That they're ugly and creep her out. I asked her where this was all coming from because she has never mentioned my clowns before. And she said bringing those ugly fucking masks into our home was her last straw. And my obsession with clowns was charming before, but now it's just disturbing. I told her that I would take down the mass when she was over. But one, this isn't our home, it's my apartment. And two, she's known about the clowns for years and to try to stop me from decorating my place how I please is controlling. She told me, quote, either get rid of some of them or we're done. I told her to just suck it up while she's here and if she can't, then I'll come to her place every week. She didn't like that answer and called me a child. Before leaving, I texted her to apologize for telling her to suck it up about the clowns. But she hasn't responded to me. So am I the asshole for telling her to suck it up about my clown figurines?
[55:47]
Justin Sylvester
This one's hard. First of all, I'm not sleeping with a man with clown figurines. I wouldn't have even gotten.
[55:53]
Rachel Lindsay
You wouldn't have gone. Yeah.
[55:54]
Justin Sylvester
I may have done it the first time just to see what it was like, but I was definitely not coming. Coming back for another hit. Like, it that. Like, yeah, happening, honey. Like, I'm not getting turned on in front of Bobo the clown. Okay. It's like seeing a man with porcelain dolls.
[56:10]
Rachel Lindsay
I would have a hard time with it.
[56:11]
Justin Sylvester
I would have a hard time with it.
[56:12]
Rachel Lindsay
One, okay. But like a full house. Like, my dad had a friend that his mom's house had clowns everywhere. And if it was dark in there, like, I would be running down the hallway. Like, running. I'm like, oh, they're going to get me 1000%. I feel it. I feel this.
[56:26]
Justin Sylvester
But the fact that she went two years.
[56:29]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[56:30]
Justin Sylvester
And is not finally fed up. Like, girl, you should've been fed up in two months.
[56:33]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[56:34]
Justin Sylvester
Like, I don't know if you could tell somebody how to decorate their space. I feel like you can encourage a man to grow out of something, but sometimes you just gotta. You Gotta go. What you gotta go with?
[56:46]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. Well. And it's like, this is his passion. Like he loves a clown. Like, I'm sure there's someone out there that would also love a clown. Like, it could just be a mismatch. And I don't think the asshole for setting a boundary. One thing I have learned over the course of this show is people don't love a suck it up. Like, that's just not conducive to like a good relationship. And like, I feel like you're kind of at this tipping point between the two of you. She's saying, get rid of some clowns or we're done. Okay. That's a pretty big ultimatum you're at. Suck it up. Like, like it is just giving.
[57:22]
Justin Sylvester
It's maybe over.
[57:23]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[57:24]
Justin Sylvester
Cause you should, you're right. You should never have to tell somebody what their, you know, passion should be. I will say, like, she met you like this. It's not like you picked this up exactly. And she wasn't down with it. Like, if you meet a man and he got three eyes, that man's gonna have three eyes in three years. Like, he got three eyes. Like, like, it is what it is.
[57:48]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. It'd be like someone like, knowing you love clothes. You're. I don't know, maybe a shoe guy. And you're like, okay, well, you keep getting shoes. Like, no more shoes. No more shoes or we're done.
[57:59]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah, yeah, you're out.
[58:00]
Rachel Lindsay
It's like you can't tell people about their passions, but if you were living together, I could see it getting to a point where it's like, okay, like, we don't have room for more clowns. Like, when is enough clowns enough clowns?
[58:11]
Justin Sylvester
That's something you negotiate when you take your relationship to the next level. Yeah, like, hey, I love your passion for hunting, but can't you. Your ducks stay in your room in your. You know what I mean? Like, you do a Charlotte York where like, you're like, okay, I like this man. But your ducks have to be in your office.
[58:27]
Rachel Lindsay
Uh huh.
[58:28]
Justin Sylvester
It is what it is.
[58:29]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. No. My brother's got a few deer heads and they are behind a door leading down to their basement. It is not in their home. And I'm curious where it's going to go in their new house. I'm going to actually have to ask them about this.
[58:44]
Justin Sylvester
By the way, dats are now a new thing saying.
[58:46]
Rachel Lindsay
Really?
[58:47]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. It's weird.
[58:49]
Rachel Lindsay
They creep me out. I'm waiting for like, like my family in Minnesota. They are big hunters. Like, they. They eat everything they get. Like, they're very, like, not trophy hunters in that sense, but, like, I'm always, like, scared that all of a sudden, like, it's gonna, like, start talking to me or come off the wall. Like, every time I stare like, my uncle's got, like, a caribou, and I just. Like. I'm like, like, all of a sudden, I'm going to just see it. Lips going, 1%. I can never take a gummy while I'm over.
[59:15]
Justin Sylvester
I was about to say, don't take a mushroom while you're over there.
[59:17]
Rachel Lindsay
No.
[59:18]
Justin Sylvester
You going to freak out.
[59:20]
Rachel Lindsay
Can you imagine that trip? All of a sudden, the deers are talking to you, honey.
[59:25]
Justin Sylvester
I would commit myself. I'd 5150 myself. 5250, actually. Just add an extra one in there. Just that 5250. Damn, the clowns are hard.
[59:34]
Rachel Lindsay
I know.
[59:35]
Justin Sylvester
Leave that, man. But you're not, by the way. You're not the asshole. She met you this way, point blank period. And you're not ready to give them up.
[59:43]
Rachel Lindsay
No. And, like, I don't know. I have a problem collecting furniture. Like, I wouldn't stop just because of an ultimatum.
[59:50]
Justin Sylvester
Like, by the way, this place has a lot of furniture in it.
[59:53]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[59:53]
Justin Sylvester
Oddly enough, we have way more furniture than we need in here.
[59:57]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. There's a lot. And you should see my garage. It's stockpiled. I just bought, like, a dresser the other day. I don't know what I'm gonna do with it. I keep buying tables and chairs. I already got a table and a chair. I have a problem collecting certain furniture.
[60:10]
Justin Sylvester
Are you a hoarder?
[60:14]
Rachel Lindsay
Some days I feel like it, but I would say not diagnosable.
[60:18]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, wait till you have kids. I think it'll change. I hope.
[60:22]
Rachel Lindsay
No, I'm like, really? People are not gonna, like, buying my kids gifts. I'm literally gonna be like, no junk. No junk, no junk.
[60:30]
Justin Sylvester
No, you're gonna be the one who keeps Legos around. Like, I had a friend who had his Legos when he was, like, a kid, and he still had them when we were, like, 15.
[60:36]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay, so those are probably worth a lot of money now.
[60:38]
Justin Sylvester
No. Because they were missing half the parts. He chewed half of them up. Like, there's. The dog got into them.
[60:43]
Rachel Lindsay
Like, oh, they're not, like, put together.
[60:45]
Justin Sylvester
No, his mom just, like, kept everything. Like, she kept every single thing. And I'm like, bro, you gotta, like, your mom's got a problem.
[60:53]
Rachel Lindsay
My grandma's like that. Like, she's got Lincoln Logs from, like.
[60:57]
Justin Sylvester
My mom from Lincoln, by the way. Lincoln Log from actual Lincoln.
[61:00]
Rachel Lindsay
Actual Lincoln Logs, Yeah. No, no joke. They probably were from, like, 1801. What? Whatever.
[61:05]
Justin Sylvester
That's crazy.
[61:06]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. As someone who isn't into clowns but loves Venetian masks, I can understand being creeped out by some of them. However, her turning this on your entire interest for clowns that you've had your whole relationship makes her the. Also, if she's giving you ultimatums over how you decorate your own space based on your own interests, she's not the one. There will be someone who will appreciate your collection, if not add to it themselves.
[61:37]
Justin Sylvester
Go off, sis.
[61:38]
Rachel Lindsay
I need to look at one of these Venetian masks. Have you seen them? Do you know what they are? Yeah, you know, they're cultured. Of course you would.
[61:44]
Justin Sylvester
You know when you, like, see, like, people in Italy and they're walking around with a gold mask that looks. One looks happy, one looks sad?
[61:49]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, they're like gold.
[61:51]
Justin Sylvester
Painted gold.
[61:51]
Rachel Lindsay
Sometimes.
[61:52]
Justin Sylvester
Sometimes they're painted white. They're just like.
[61:55]
Rachel Lindsay
Here's one that's really cool. It's like, almost got, like, a full.
[61:59]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah, yeah. I'm from Louisiana.
[62:01]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[62:01]
Justin Sylvester
Mardi Gras balls are like, this is what we wear.
[62:03]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay.
[62:04]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[62:04]
Rachel Lindsay
Now that I'm seeing it, I'm like, yes, I've seen these. I actually think my dad went to Mardi Gras one year and, like, brought me back a little one on a stick or something. Yeah.
[62:11]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, for sure.
[62:12]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. Yeah, these are pretty. This isn't. This wouldn't get me, like, a clown.
[62:16]
Justin Sylvester
No, honey, but he's got them hanging from the ceiling.
[62:19]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay.
[62:20]
Justin Sylvester
The.
[62:20]
Rachel Lindsay
The ones on swings. Hanging. That would freak me out, because what if there was like. Like a ghost and it was using those and, like, all of a sudden it's dead? Like, the air is dead, and all of a sudden, you just see.
[62:31]
Justin Sylvester
You watch Annabelle, don't you?
[62:32]
Rachel Lindsay
No, I can't watch that.
[62:34]
Justin Sylvester
Not having it.
[62:35]
Rachel Lindsay
I watched the first Conjuring, and after that, I was out. I saw the Nun. I can't do scary movies anymore.
[62:41]
Justin Sylvester
No, I can't do scary movies. Or two Chardonnays. Like, those things are, like, out of my life.
[62:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Chardonnay is too bad.
[62:46]
Justin Sylvester
Forever. It's too much. Drink Red Bull and vodka. We used to drink pineapple in Malibu.
[62:54]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God, no. Do you remember? Did you ever do, like, a Jager Bomb?
[62:56]
Justin Sylvester
Yes.
[62:57]
Rachel Lindsay
That was wicked, girl.
[63:00]
Justin Sylvester
We used to drink Long Island Iced Teas.
[63:02]
Rachel Lindsay
I don't know how I'm still alive. I remember in college, I would, like, literally do nights where I'd get six vodka Red Bulls.
[63:08]
Justin Sylvester
Where'd you go to school?
[63:09]
Rachel Lindsay
Minnesota. University of Minnesota. Golden Gophers.
[63:12]
Justin Sylvester
So you had, like, a real college experience.
[63:13]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. And those drinks. I don't know. Well, the bar did shut down eventually. Actually, they were $2. $2 vodka red rolls, by the way.
[63:21]
Justin Sylvester
But it was like gasoline.
[63:23]
Rachel Lindsay
It's not. It can't be good for you.
[63:25]
Justin Sylvester
It was taco. We were drinking taca.
[63:27]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God. Did you ever have Burnettes?
[63:30]
Justin Sylvester
Yes.
[63:30]
Rachel Lindsay
Like, the blueberry flavors.
[63:32]
Justin Sylvester
Shut up.
[63:33]
Rachel Lindsay
Raspberry.
[63:34]
Justin Sylvester
Shut up.
[63:34]
Rachel Lindsay
And then if you were real poor that week, you'd get this vodka called Kharkov. No jet fuel.
[63:42]
Justin Sylvester
I grew up on, like, Jack and Cokes. Like, Malibu was, like, kind of big when I was growing up. I'm 37. Malibu was kind of big when I was growing up. So we all had, like, Malibu Sevens.
[63:53]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[63:54]
Justin Sylvester
And then there was, like, this big rush to, like, cranberry vodkas were, like, a big deal in the club. I don't know why because we always spilled them on each other. But it was crazy. It was, like, wild back then.
[64:04]
Rachel Lindsay
I know.
[64:05]
Justin Sylvester
So crazy that my liver still talks to me.
[64:08]
Rachel Lindsay
I've been doing glutathione.
[64:11]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, nice. In your drips.
[64:12]
Rachel Lindsay
That helps. Yeah, I get Those in my IVs from time to time.
[64:16]
Justin Sylvester
I get my levels tested every three months.
[64:19]
Rachel Lindsay
Damn, you're on it.
[64:20]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. I get my levels tested every three months. And the fact that one of them is a liver test. The fact that my liver can't accept anything these days. I went to lsu.
[64:30]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, yeah.
[64:31]
Justin Sylvester
So it was. It was non stop. It was non stop.
[64:35]
Rachel Lindsay
That's wild.
[64:36]
Justin Sylvester
A girl had it. She had a time. And this is before camera phones.
[64:39]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, honestly, take me back.
[64:43]
Justin Sylvester
Take me back to when you had to bring that Canon into the club.
[64:47]
Rachel Lindsay
Little Nikon.
[64:48]
Justin Sylvester
The little Nikon.
[64:49]
Rachel Lindsay
Little Nikon.
[64:50]
Justin Sylvester
And then you would post every photo.
[64:51]
Rachel Lindsay
A whole Facebook album. Every night we'd get a Facebook album.
[64:54]
Justin Sylvester
Who were we?
[64:56]
Rachel Lindsay
I don't know her.
[64:57]
Justin Sylvester
I don't know her.
[64:58]
Rachel Lindsay
I don't know her.
[64:59]
Justin Sylvester
But I want to know him. He was so good.
[65:02]
Rachel Lindsay
Bring me back. We do get an update on this one.
[65:05]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, let's hear it.
[65:07]
Rachel Lindsay
We get an update. We find out what happens after.
[65:09]
Justin Sylvester
They're still hooking up.
[65:10]
Rachel Lindsay
I wanted to clear up some things that I saw in the comments. I had a small collection started by my grandparents when I was a baby. That's Where I got my first swing jester. The collection has grown in the last two years to expand to common decor and not just dolls. For the update, she saw the post, she read the comments, and called me. Today. She wasn't too happy about being called an asshole, but later apologized for being controlling. It turns out she wanted to see if I'd get rid of my collection if it means keeping her. Like, it was some relationship test.
[65:50]
Justin Sylvester
Hmm.
[65:51]
Rachel Lindsay
Note. She really did hate the Venetian masks and didn't like that they were hanging above my bed. I told her if it came between her needing me to get rid of them or sell them for expenses, then I would of course do that. But I'm not just going to get rid of my collection because someone says so. She asked if we could move on from this, and I told her no.
[66:11]
Justin Sylvester
Good for you, Dylan.
[66:12]
Rachel Lindsay
I don't like that she tried to test my love by asking me to get rid of my collection. She left. We are officially broken up now.
[66:21]
Justin Sylvester
I'm a Scorpio. What's your sign?
[66:22]
Rachel Lindsay
Pisces, bitch.
[66:25]
Justin Sylvester
If a motherfucker tries to test me in a relationship, I made a 33 on the ACT Hungover bitch.
[66:30]
Rachel Lindsay
Ooh.
[66:31]
Justin Sylvester
I'm good at tests. Let's go. Because I'm a double test you back. I'm going to turn it around on you, and I'm going to throw you into the writing portion of the SAT without you even knowing it. Okay. I love a good relationship test.
[66:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Wow.
[66:46]
Justin Sylvester
And I'm probably going to leave you after.
[66:48]
Rachel Lindsay
What is a relationship test that like. Like, I'm curious what you've pulled or what you would recommend trying. Cause I feel like they could easily creep into a line of toxicity. No.
[66:59]
Justin Sylvester
No. I don't think you should try to test anyone in a relationship.
[67:03]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. Okay. Okay.
[67:04]
Justin Sylvester
But I think if your partner tries to test you, Ooh, uno, reverse. You should play stupid and uno, reverse that motherfucker. Okay. Because people do try it, and I don't know why. I think it's like a learned behavior. But people do try to test you. I never stay in relationships where people try to do that. It's not my jam. It's not my thing.
[67:26]
Rachel Lindsay
No.
[67:26]
Justin Sylvester
And I think it just sets up your life to be tested the whole time.
[67:30]
Rachel Lindsay
I think so, too. I think a lot of people. Like, I think the phone test is, like, really common. And, like, I just.
[67:37]
Justin Sylvester
You're not reading my phone.
[67:38]
Rachel Lindsay
I just feel like if you get to a point where you have to. It speaks to a bigger issue. Like, there's not a Lot of trust in the relationship.
[67:46]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, it's like when people get a third.
[67:47]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay.
[67:48]
Justin Sylvester
It's like when you. If you have a third, there's probably something else going on in your relationship that you should probably talk about. I say get the third, but also start talking about the reason why you have to get the third. Because if you want to survive. Post the third.
[68:04]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[68:05]
Justin Sylvester
You should probably be in, like, some kind of communicata about what's happening.
[68:10]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. I feel like the subreddit deadbedrooms would really fascinate you.
[68:15]
Justin Sylvester
What's their bedrooms?
[68:16]
Rachel Lindsay
It's couples that, like, their bedroom is dead, and then they talk about, like, opening the relationship or, like, what do they do? And I just saw the craziest post about a polycule, and the post was titled. And I'm gonna get to it, I think on Patreon, but it's titled something like, I left our honeymoon because my husband kept ignoring my girlfriend and me with his boyfriend.
[68:37]
Justin Sylvester
Stop.
[68:38]
Rachel Lindsay
And I was like, my husband was ignoring my girlfriend to hang out with his boyfriend. And then I was like, okay. Okay. Clock. Yeah, they're in a polycule.
[68:46]
Justin Sylvester
They're in a polycule.
[68:47]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. It wasn't going well on the honeymoon, I guess.
[68:49]
Justin Sylvester
They're doing it. They are doing it.
[68:51]
Rachel Lindsay
They're doing it.
[68:52]
Justin Sylvester
And by the way, don't bring those boyfriends on your honeymoon. Honey, you gonna get no attention. I'm like, don't bring the boyfriends.
[68:58]
Rachel Lindsay
I was like that. Okay, you guys are. Your polycule is different.
[69:01]
Justin Sylvester
The gays have no fucks. The gays listen to me. Okay? Let me go right here for this.
[69:07]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm ready. I'm locked in.
[69:09]
Justin Sylvester
The gay is. If you are letting a man come with you on your honeymoon, we are like vampires. Once you invite us in, it's your fault, okay? We're in there. Okay? We won't come unless you invite us. But once you say, come on in, we gonna take advantage. That gay man was like, no, Mark, over here.
[69:32]
Rachel Lindsay
You're my boyfriend. You are my boyfriend, not her husband. What is this?
[69:35]
Justin Sylvester
No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do it, girl.
[69:38]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my gosh. So OP does go on to say, on the bright side, I can fill my house with more clown dolls. I even found a music box one online that I might get. Thank you, everyone, for helping me figure out that I wasn't in the wrong. And to those saying I'm a serial killer for owning clowns, I've read quite a few comments from people collecting dead things. So I think I'M in the clear on that.
[70:02]
Justin Sylvester
Point taken.
[70:03]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I know someone that collects teeth.
[70:07]
Justin Sylvester
If it's your husband, ma' am, we need to talk off camera.
[70:10]
Rachel Lindsay
No, no, no, no.
[70:12]
Justin Sylvester
If it's your man, we should probably talk off camera.
[70:16]
Rachel Lindsay
No, no, he. He.
[70:19]
Justin Sylvester
What's he collect?
[70:20]
Rachel Lindsay
He actually, like, doesn't really collect anything. He's really into space. Really into space.
[70:24]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, good.
[70:26]
Rachel Lindsay
So that's kind of his thing, but, like, I feel like I'm the one that, like, buys him space stuff.
[70:31]
Justin Sylvester
Nice.
[70:31]
Rachel Lindsay
Doesn't even really get it from.
[70:33]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, yeah, teeth.
[70:35]
Rachel Lindsay
Pins. He collects pins.
[70:37]
Justin Sylvester
Who's that booty call that used to collect teeth?
[70:39]
Rachel Lindsay
No, it's a girl I went to grad school with. She loves teeth.
[70:42]
Justin Sylvester
Serial killer. Is she a dentist?
[70:45]
Rachel Lindsay
No, an occupational therapist.
[70:46]
Justin Sylvester
Jesus.
[70:47]
Rachel Lindsay
She had like, a big jar. She'd pull up pictures. She had some, like, crazy colors.
[70:51]
Justin Sylvester
My God, did she marry a dentist?
[70:53]
Rachel Lindsay
No, I don't think so. I offered to give her my wisdom.
[70:55]
Justin Sylvester
Teeth, but she didn't want them.
[70:57]
Rachel Lindsay
No.
[70:58]
Justin Sylvester
Damn. Your teeth weren't good enough.
[70:59]
Rachel Lindsay
Never got around to it.
[71:01]
Justin Sylvester
Your teeth weren't good enough.
[71:02]
Rachel Lindsay
They had to, like, blow my teeth up to get them out.
[71:05]
Justin Sylvester
Stop.
[71:05]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, like, they were impacted.
[71:09]
Justin Sylvester
Same.
[71:09]
Rachel Lindsay
And they, like, have to chunk it up.
[71:11]
Justin Sylvester
Do you know that I'm such a sick that I got two of the impacted ones out first?
[71:16]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay.
[71:17]
Justin Sylvester
Cuz you lose all kinds of weight. And then I got them out second right before the Oscars. So I can lose another bout of weight, cuz you can't. You know, you can't do solids for a minute.
[71:27]
Rachel Lindsay
You're so lucky you didn't get dry sockets.
[71:28]
Justin Sylvester
I didn't. I was good. That was really good.
[71:32]
Rachel Lindsay
I ended up in the ER after my wisdom teeth. It was not a vibe.
[71:35]
Justin Sylvester
You're probably trying to smoke a cigarette after.
[71:37]
Rachel Lindsay
No, I didn't even have a straw. I was eating stuff with a spoon. I was doing everything right. They gave me pain pills and I was allergic to the kind they gave me, so I was just throwing up. Throwing up, Throwing up. And then like, girl.
[71:51]
Justin Sylvester
Ugh. Cut. Cut the shit.
[71:53]
Rachel Lindsay
Terrible.
[71:57]
Justin Sylvester
Going on vacation. We're here for it. With kids who turn a back seat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder, whose charger is faster, and why. Watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time as a human. Right?
[72:09]
Rachel Lindsay
Yep.
[72:10]
Justin Sylvester
We totally have vehicles to handle that. Because whether it's a road trip or a business trip where your flight's delayed, Your phone's at 2% and your dinner, whatever's open. Yeah, here for that. Too enterprise. We're here for it. If you're thirsting for asphalt melting your work boots, tape measure has anger issues. Nail guns, talking smack again.
[72:34]
Rachel Lindsay
And hard hat baked onto head level.
[72:36]
Justin Sylvester
Refreshment, we definitely have that.
[72:43]
Rachel Lindsay
Cool off with Gatorade.
[72:44]
Justin Sylvester
Summer Blaze.
[72:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Available only at Circle K K. When.
[72:49]
Justin Sylvester
You'Re feeling the heat, Circle K makes your day.
[72:56]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay, are you scared of poop stories?
[72:59]
Justin Sylvester
Yes. Skip it. Skip it, don't skip it.
[73:05]
Rachel Lindsay
I'll give you a choice.
[73:06]
Justin Sylvester
Okay, give me a choice.
[73:07]
Rachel Lindsay
As you guys know, then trigger warning poop story. So am I the asshole for throwing away food after my boyfriend's mom mom put her stool sample on top of.
[73:17]
Justin Sylvester
It or cut the story. Throw away your mother in law too. Throw away the food and the mother in law or.
[73:26]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm having an issue with my husband who keeps messing up our bathroom and keeps insisting it's not a big deal. How do I get him to understand it's gross?
[73:35]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, I can tell you that. I can tell you that real quick.
[73:38]
Rachel Lindsay
Divorce now.
[73:39]
Justin Sylvester
Now you withhold sex, that's the game I'll play.
[73:42]
Rachel Lindsay
So is that the story you're picking?
[73:44]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. Let's go.
[73:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. This is coming from relationship advice. It is five days old. Again, titled I, female, 36. I'm having issues with my husband, male, 36, who keeps messing up our bathroom and keeps insisting it's not a big deal. Had to make a new account as I'm not convinced family hasn't discovered my mane. My husband apparently stands while he wipes, which leads to what I am now calling quote butt crumbs. Not literal shit. It's dirty toilet paper pieces. Not that it makes it much better on anything and everything on the bathroom floor. It's not like a lot, but it's still so gross. I wish I never realized what that mysterious dirt was coming from. He insists that it's normal to wipe standing that he can't wipe sitting down. He's big, but he's not that big. And it's not a big deal. He just forgets to check and clean up sometimes. But I don't know. I don't even like the idea of him wiping over our floors or any clothes on them. I'm the one that usually picks up the dirty laundry, even if nothing was visibly left behind. I feel like it's fair to have him clean the floors and deal with any clothes on the floor every day if he continues that this or just until he's out of the habit of wiping standing up. But he thinks I'm being Ridiculous. That it's not a big deal, that he just forgets to clean up sometimes. What do I do?
[75:17]
Justin Sylvester
What's this lady's name? I like to give them names. Jennifer. Can you hear me? This is what you're going to do. You're going to drive your ass to Costco. You're going to find this little Toto bidet that comes with a water and an air blow dryer. You're going to install that bitch in your toilet, okay? You're not even going to tell your man. You're just going to install the shit out of it, okay? And hook it up to the hot water. Fuck it. Get your plumber there, hook it up to the hot water, plug it in, heat that goddamn seat, okay? And when that man asks you what does this do, you sit him down and you give him the tutorial of a lifetime. Okay? First of all, you're going to save money on toilet paper. You're going to save your marriage, and you're also going to save your bed sheets because he bringing them crumbs into the bed, too. So go get that goddamn Toto.
[76:11]
Rachel Lindsay
No, not the bed.
[76:13]
Justin Sylvester
Yes, he's bringing it to bed. Go get that goddamn Toto. Go get the Toto.
[76:18]
Rachel Lindsay
And from Costco, too.
[76:19]
Justin Sylvester
I mean, no, Costco's got a good one right now. They're on sale, too.
[76:22]
Rachel Lindsay
I love Costco.
[76:24]
Justin Sylvester
You'll save so much money and so much fresh.
[76:27]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I mean, I think that is definitely what you got to do. I think your initial suggestion of, like, hey, no intimacy. Because honestly, how would you want to be intimate with someone who's got butt crumbles? Butt crumbles? Ladies, if these chunks are big enough on your floor where you're noticing them thinking it's dirt, ladies, what are we doing?
[76:50]
Justin Sylvester
What are we doing?
[76:51]
Rachel Lindsay
What are we doing?
[76:51]
Justin Sylvester
By the way, the fact that your man can't even wipe it up up at 36, like, get you a man who can wipe it up.
[76:59]
Rachel Lindsay
There's adaptive tools, okay? There is this tool. It is quite literally called the Butt Buddy, the Bottom Buddy toilet wiper. Like, there are tools. Like, we used to have to use these for people when I was doing ot if they couldn't reach.
[77:16]
Justin Sylvester
Look, a total right now on Amazon right now, you can get a total for, like, $59.99. You can get, like, a little bidet for $59.99. You don't even have to get the expensive one.
[77:25]
Rachel Lindsay
No, you can get a handheld Shataffa if you need something.
[77:28]
Justin Sylvester
Exactly. He will like it. If the water's warm, I'm telling you, he will like it. Do it, girl. You will save yourself so much time.
[77:36]
Rachel Lindsay
And energy and think about the trees. You're helping trees save that paper.
[77:40]
Justin Sylvester
Oof. Not the bug crumbs.
[77:42]
Rachel Lindsay
I mean, it's not even the fact. Okay. Standing to weigh type. Cool. Okay.
[77:47]
Justin Sylvester
That's a man thing, though.
[77:49]
Rachel Lindsay
Yes. If you're going to do it, you're going to do it. Whatever. But the fact that you're not at least being considerate enough to look after you discover this problem. Like, let me make sure my shit's not on the ground. Okay. We're good today. The fact you're leaving your dirty clothes for your wife to come pick up with butt crumbles on top of it like grated parmesan. What are we doing?
[78:10]
Justin Sylvester
Put that man on the schedule. Let him shit before he goes in the shower. Like, ugh, something. I can't.
[78:16]
Rachel Lindsay
I don't know. I introduced Rachel to what waffle stomping was when we first met. And I think, yeah, that is like, I'd prefer him to waffle stomp.
[78:25]
Justin Sylvester
What's waffle stomping?
[78:26]
Rachel Lindsay
You shit in the shower and push it down the drain with your heel.
[78:30]
Justin Sylvester
You introduced us to who?
[78:31]
Rachel Lindsay
Rachel. Lindsay.
[78:33]
Justin Sylvester
And this is a thing.
[78:34]
Rachel Lindsay
And she was still friends with me after.
[78:36]
Justin Sylvester
Do you waffle stomp?
[78:37]
Rachel Lindsay
No.
[78:38]
Justin Sylvester
Do you know somebody who waffles stomps?
[78:40]
Rachel Lindsay
I. So actually one of the girls at Spotify came up to me after we talked about this and she was like, I know someone that does it. Yep. There's people out there that stomp Waffle stomp.
[78:56]
Justin Sylvester
Your drain will smell. I'm.
[79:01]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, it's not supposed. You're not supposed to do that. I'm not a plumber. I'll say that right now. I'm not a plumber, but it just.
[79:08]
Justin Sylvester
Doesn'T seem right unless you're like just in an outhouse in the middle of the outback. I don't want to hear it, by the way. I. If I don't feel comfortable, I will go on a 10 day vacation and not poop. If I don't feel comfortable.
[79:26]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[79:26]
Justin Sylvester
Like, if I'm in a house with seven people and we're in Mykonos for seven days. This is a real story. I just know that I will not be comfortable. I will check into a hotel for one night.
[79:39]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[79:39]
Justin Sylvester
To get it done.
[79:40]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[79:40]
Justin Sylvester
I will smoke a Capri 120. I don't even smoke. I would just smoke a Capri 120 real quick. And get it going in the privacy of my own room. I'm like, very weird about it.
[79:50]
Rachel Lindsay
No. I was early on dating my fiance and we went to Copenhagen together. And I was so backed up, Like, I would send him down to the lobby. I mean, I would do everything. There was one day I had six espresso shots to try to get things going and I just couldn't because I didn't feel safe yet. The gym of a hotel. The gym.
[80:12]
Justin Sylvester
You always go to the gym bathroom.
[80:13]
Rachel Lindsay
Some lobby bathrooms are real, real nice.
[80:15]
Justin Sylvester
Some lobby bathrooms are really nice. If you can find one that locks, that has a door that goes all.
[80:20]
Rachel Lindsay
The way floor to ceiling.
[80:21]
Justin Sylvester
I like to go ahead of time to said place and scope out.
[80:26]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[80:27]
Justin Sylvester
Sometimes a conference room that no one uses. Like the office media business room. Like, no one's using a business room anymore, but it has a bathroom in it.
[80:36]
Rachel Lindsay
So smart.
[80:37]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. And you blow it up. You just blow it up without them knowing.
[80:41]
Rachel Lindsay
Dude.
[80:42]
Justin Sylvester
I always go to the gym, though.
[80:43]
Rachel Lindsay
That's good. Yeah. No, that's one thing I miss about Minnesota is like, the gas stations there actually had really decent bathrooms.
[80:50]
Justin Sylvester
The fact that you're using the bathroom.
[80:53]
Rachel Lindsay
At a gas station.
[80:53]
Justin Sylvester
At a gas station. Britney fucking Spears. Like, who are you? Do you wear shoes when you go in there?
[80:58]
Rachel Lindsay
Of course.
[80:59]
Justin Sylvester
Jesus.
[81:00]
Rachel Lindsay
Who doesn't?
[81:01]
Justin Sylvester
I didn't poop in public until I was literally 21.
[81:04]
Rachel Lindsay
My fiance just pooped on the airplane for the first time, like a month ago.
[81:07]
Justin Sylvester
He's a serial killer. Leave, bitch. Anybody shitting 30,000ft in the air knowing that there's 200 people watching them do it.
[81:15]
Rachel Lindsay
No, you don't poop on planes.
[81:18]
Justin Sylvester
No, no.
[81:19]
Rachel Lindsay
What if it's a long haul flight?
[81:21]
Justin Sylvester
I don't give a shit. I could be going to space. I'm not shitting next to Gayle King. I'm not doing it. I can't do it. I just, like, my body is not equipped for it. Like, I would rather hold it 10, 15 hours. My body will not let me do it.
[81:39]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, See, I have tummy issues. When we start rumbling, we're going to.
[81:43]
Justin Sylvester
But I'm not a girl. That when I get the knock on the door, like, I'm the type that if I get the knock on the door and I don't. Do you have a shit window?
[81:51]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. You got a poop window, which is what, 90 seconds?
[81:54]
Justin Sylvester
Mine's like probably five minutes.
[81:56]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay.
[81:56]
Justin Sylvester
If I can't find that, you know, situation in five minutes, it will automatically go back up. I don't know Why? I don't know why I'm built this way. It's really weird.
[82:06]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my gosh.
[82:07]
Justin Sylvester
But I have problems. Like if I don't do it in that five minutes.
[82:10]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. You don't know what groundhogging is.
[82:11]
Justin Sylvester
I just. Yeah. I've never met a groundhogger. I'm not that person. But if I miss it the next day, it's the same thing. It rolls over like, I just have five minutes. It's really weird.
[82:22]
Rachel Lindsay
You're getting like, so impacted.
[82:23]
Justin Sylvester
No, I'm getting so impacted. I weigh 204 pounds right now.
[82:26]
Rachel Lindsay
You gotta get milk of magnesium.
[82:28]
Justin Sylvester
Yes.
[82:29]
Rachel Lindsay
Whatever that cocktail is that they give you. Have you ever seen an X ray of someone who can't go to the bathroom for a couple days?
[82:36]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[82:37]
Rachel Lindsay
That is terrifying.
[82:39]
Justin Sylvester
It's wild. I was that girl in Mykonos. Oh, no.
[82:44]
Rachel Lindsay
Out of all places too.
[82:45]
Justin Sylvester
Of all places.
[82:46]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. Well, luckily for you guys, we're moving on from the poop talk.
[82:50]
Justin Sylvester
Thank you.
[82:50]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. Hey, guys, it's Selena Gomez. I'm so excited for you to try my new signature Oreo cookie with chocolate and cinnamon flavored cream. Pick it up in stores and pick up a pack of Selena Gomez Oreo.
[83:05]
Justin Sylvester
Cookies at participating Walmart stores. Experience it while it lasts. This episode is brought to you by Amazon's Blink Video Doorbell. Get more at your door with the easy to install Blink Video Doorbell. Get more connections.
[83:20]
Rachel Lindsay
Hey, I'm here for our first date.
[83:24]
Justin Sylvester
More deliveries. Hi. I have tacos for two. Oh, thanks. We'll be right there. Down and more memories.
[83:30]
Rachel Lindsay
Babe. Come down. I have a surprise.
[83:33]
Justin Sylvester
All new Blink video doorbell with two year battery, head to toe HD view and simple setup. Shop now at Amazon.com blink for just $69.99.
[83:42]
Rachel Lindsay
We're going to get into some family tea. This is coming from Aitah. Five hours old, titled. Am I the asshole for evicting my uncle from the house my grandma left me? I know this is going to sound crazy, but just hear me out. My grandma passed last month and I've been handling her estate. She left me her house valued at about $400,000. But here's the twist no one knew about until now. My uncle has been living in the basement of the house for three years. Not visiting, but living. Grandma never told any of us where he was. He lost his job during COVID got divorced, the entire sham. Apparently grandma let him stay living in the house and nobody in the family knew. And she didn't want him to feel embarrassed telling anyone. Now my uncle thinks that because he was taking care of Grandma, which honestly, none of us knew about. He is entitled to inherit the house instead of me. He is saying she only left it to me because she didn't have any time to take her name off the will before she passed. But she had three years to take it off if she wanted. And the will is dated for 20, 23. So it's not even an old will. Now he is refusing to move and is saying that he is legally entitled to fight for the house in court. My parents think I should just let him keep it. Because according to them, he is family. But I'm just 28, and frankly, this house would change my entire life. I would be a homeowner instead of throwing money away on rent. Am I the asshole if I get him evicted?
[85:23]
Justin Sylvester
No. And here's the jam. Family is tricky. No matter what happens, death in families always bring out the worst in people.
[85:33]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. Especially money.
[85:35]
Justin Sylvester
Money is horrible. What I would tell you to do is give your uncle some time. Give him some time. Say, hey, you can stay in here for another four or five months, Let you get on your feet, do some work on the house, maybe let him oversee it. And then offer him a lump sum that you are comfortable with. And say, hey, I will give you $15,000 over the next six months for you to evacuate the place. 20 grand, something. Because lawyer's fees are a lot.
[86:07]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[86:07]
Justin Sylvester
And if your uncle doesn't have a pot to piss in, ain't got a job, ain't got nowhere to go. $15,000 is very enticing. Now, he might hold it over your head for the rest of his life like, you stole my goddamn house. But it'll be worth it. So I say evict your uncle. Give him a little cash deposit for him to get on his feet and call it a day.
[86:29]
Rachel Lindsay
I don't even think you need to give him the cash. I mean, if you want to be real nice, you say, hey, you got six months, six months rent free. Figure it out. Who are these parents saying, oh, just give him the house. This is a $400,000 house. And you're saying, just give him the house.
[86:45]
Justin Sylvester
Give him the cash.
[86:46]
Rachel Lindsay
In what fucking world?
[86:48]
Justin Sylvester
People, they want to keep the peace. They know how he is, by the way. I just. I don't know. Families and money.
[86:55]
Rachel Lindsay
I hate that. Keep the peace. You're going to keep the peace over a $400,000 loss?
[87:01]
Justin Sylvester
Not me.
[87:03]
Rachel Lindsay
Hell, no.
[87:04]
Justin Sylvester
Tingy's man 15. If you have to, just give him some cash.
[87:09]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my God. Yeah. You're being really generous with the cash buyout.
[87:13]
Justin Sylvester
But if you get four. $400,000. Let's think about it. If you gave him 10% of the house at this point, let's say that they have.
[87:22]
Rachel Lindsay
What's 10%? 40.
[87:23]
Justin Sylvester
40.
[87:24]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. That was really good. I'm bad at math.
[87:27]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. 10% is $40,000.
[87:29]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[87:30]
Justin Sylvester
Even if you had to give him 40 GS.
[87:33]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. I feel like it. I'm curious what OP's financial situation is, because, like, coming up with 40K, like.
[87:40]
Justin Sylvester
Well, the great part about it is if somebody gives you a house for $400,000.
[87:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, you could refinance.
[87:47]
Justin Sylvester
You can refinance, and you can take out a mortgage on $40,000. You can also take out a mortgage on $60,000, put 20,000 into your house, upgrading it, making it pretty hilo ready for yourself. Yes. Or. And then give him the 40 that's left over.
[88:05]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I'm gonna be honest, Justin. I'm not that nice.
[88:09]
Justin Sylvester
Damn.
[88:09]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm not that nice. I'm gonna. I'm gonna say you get six months rent free, because rent in our city is xyz. And I don't want to put you on the street. I don't want to evict you. But, like, here's the thing. Like, Grandma obviously wanted me to have the house. This will was 2023. You lost your job and got divorced in Covid. Like, you've been living with granny for three years now. This will was made around that time where she knew you were in the spot with her.
[88:37]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[88:38]
Rachel Lindsay
Still chose to leave this to me. I'm gonna respect grandma's decision. So I'm happy to give you a little grace, a couple of months, but after that, you know, I don't want a roommate.
[88:49]
Justin Sylvester
I got you.
[88:50]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[88:50]
Justin Sylvester
Also. Yeah. You don't want your uncle living with you.
[88:52]
Rachel Lindsay
I mean, if you want to be really nice, you could say a year. But, like, I don't think you have to.
[88:56]
Justin Sylvester
No. Because then a year becomes 18 months, and 18 months becomes two years.
[88:59]
Rachel Lindsay
If you're gonna just sell the house, though. And I don't get the vibe from op, but I would say if you're gonna sell the house and take all the money, then I'd say give the uncle a little bit of a bone.
[89:11]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah. Also, people just. Money talks.
[89:14]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[89:15]
Justin Sylvester
Sometimes you just gotta slide it. But I get you. Six months is a lot.
[89:18]
Rachel Lindsay
It's a long time, but it also goes by fast. I've been stuck with six, like, with bad roommates. For six months. And it, it can go by fast.
[89:26]
Justin Sylvester
When you have a life.
[89:27]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah.
[89:28]
Justin Sylvester
Also, you've never been stuck with like a 65 year old uncle who's just like blowing up your toilet and like fucking walking around your house with. With anger issues about you having the house?
[89:37]
Rachel Lindsay
Well, I lived with my dad up until like a year ago, and he's. He's a difficult roommate.
[89:42]
Justin Sylvester
Damn. You lived with your dad?
[89:43]
Rachel Lindsay
I love him so much. But yeah, I just moved out of. Because he lives here in la. So when I got into grad school, I was like, oh my God, free rent. Yay.
[89:52]
Justin Sylvester
He lived here already.
[89:53]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. So I moved in with him and like, oh my gosh, he loves a 6:37am Wake up call by slamming kitchen cabinets. Yeah, we don't. We're not bougie enough for those soft, close hinges.
[90:04]
Justin Sylvester
How long has he lived here?
[90:07]
Rachel Lindsay
He is from LA, moved to Minnesota for like 20 years. Met my mom, and then moved back out when I was like in 8th grade.
[90:13]
Justin Sylvester
Stop.
[90:13]
Rachel Lindsay
So he's been out here a while.
[90:15]
Justin Sylvester
Wow. So you have free rent for grad school?
[90:17]
Rachel Lindsay
It was really nice.
[90:18]
Justin Sylvester
Damn.
[90:19]
Rachel Lindsay
Really nice.
[90:20]
Justin Sylvester
You killed it.
[90:21]
Rachel Lindsay
And then the podcast did a little something and then I ended up being the one paying. Paying the HOA fees and everything. So then he got free rent.
[90:29]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, yeah, by the way, that's a good little strategy for him.
[90:33]
Rachel Lindsay
I know, I know. Let me raise a little show pony. Let me. Let me raise a show pony and then get a little kickback.
[90:40]
Justin Sylvester
By the way. Why not? I know, Donna, Kelsey better be getting money from those two boys.
[90:46]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh my gosh, if they aren't buying her multiple mansions.
[90:49]
Justin Sylvester
Come on, lady. Multiple fed your asses for 20 years. I ain't gotta work another day in my life.
[90:56]
Rachel Lindsay
Where do you think the people went on this one? Asshole. You're the asshole.
[91:00]
Justin Sylvester
No people are cutthroat on Reddit. No, asshole.
[91:04]
Rachel Lindsay
Top comment. Not the asshole. Honor the will serve the eviction notice. Time to change. Family is family when they're being good to you, not taking advantage of you. And Opie goes, thank you. Time to serve those papers.
[91:19]
Justin Sylvester
Opie don't give a fuck.
[91:20]
Rachel Lindsay
Opie said.
[91:21]
Justin Sylvester
Opie's a leo.
[91:22]
Rachel Lindsay
Get out of my house.
[91:23]
Justin Sylvester
She's a Leo.
[91:24]
Rachel Lindsay
I wonder. I wish people had to post what they are on their Reddit account. Yes, because that could explain so much of the conflict resolution they're trying to pursue.
[91:33]
Justin Sylvester
That really could. Like, maybe Reddit should add that on the bottom where you pick your symbol.
[91:37]
Rachel Lindsay
Trophy case. Yeah. So if you look at Someone's account. They have a trophy. So this is a new user. It should say Leo.
[91:44]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[91:44]
Rachel Lindsay
Scorpio.
[91:45]
Justin Sylvester
I'm into that.
[91:46]
Rachel Lindsay
Pisces.
[91:46]
Justin Sylvester
I'm really into that. I gotta get more into Reddit.
[91:49]
Rachel Lindsay
I think you'll. You'll like it. It's a good time.
[91:51]
Justin Sylvester
I need to get an account that I like, actually use.
[91:53]
Rachel Lindsay
It's a good time. Okay, last one for you.
[91:58]
Justin Sylvester
What is it?
[91:58]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm so sad.
[91:59]
Justin Sylvester
I know. We've had so much fun. This is great.
[92:02]
Rachel Lindsay
We need to make you regular, right? Because we're gonna be like, bring him back.
[92:05]
Justin Sylvester
Bring his ass back.
[92:06]
Rachel Lindsay
Never let me hear the end of it if he does. So this is coming from a I t a H. 11 days old titled AM I the asshole for insisting my son be the flower boy? I'm getting married in July. Wedding planning is in full swing. My wife to be and I are on the same page about almost everything except for this one thing. My son wants to be the flower boy and I want him to be too. My fiance says that a flower girl is traditional and that it would be weird to have a flower boy. She says her family will be uncomfortable. She says that he should be the ring bearer. He doesn't want to be the ring bearer. He wants to carry the basket of flower petals. He thinks it looks fun. My line of reasoning is that anything that gets him excited about the wedding and having a stepmom is a huge plus. My fiance says we shouldn't teach my son that everything is about him. I absolutely agree. However, it is weird for kids when a parent gets remarried. He hasn't engaged much with the idea and this is the first thing relating to the wedding that he showed excitement about. My fiance wants to know what he would wear and I said the three of us can decide and find something cute. She says she doesn't want that extra task on her plate. I said, then he and I can do it. And she said she would be stressed about not knowing what he'll be wearing.
[93:30]
Justin Sylvester
Then Girl he wears circumstances.
[93:32]
Rachel Lindsay
We have been going back and forth about this for a while and she is starting to get frustrated. Yesterday she said she didn't want to talk about it anymore. I said we have to resolve it because the wedding is in seven weeks. She said as far as she is concerned, it's resolved. I said, in that case, it's resolved for me too and he's doing it. She asked me why I'm being such an asshole about this. I don't think I'm being an asshole, but maybe I am. I haven't been pushy about anything else with the wedding. Whenever I wanted something that she didn't, I either compromised or I let it go. This is the one thing that really matters to me, and I think it's ultimately good for the both of us because it will make my son more fond of her. Am I really being the asshole?
[94:16]
Justin Sylvester
Um, first of all, you are not, okay? You're being a good dad, a really good dad. And you're fighting for your son's rights to want to be a flower boy. And your wife is fighting this like this is the hill she's gonna die on. Maybe this is not the right person for you to marry.
[94:38]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm so glad you said it, baby.
[94:40]
Justin Sylvester
This is a sign that your son's needs are never going to be met in this marriage. Maybe this is a sign that this woman is going to put herself first. And part of being a step parent is putting your stepson or daughter's needs before yours and being patient and making compromises to be a better parent. So I'm gonna say you are not the asshole. In fact, you are quite the opposite. You are a hero fighting for your son. And I love that you went ten toes down with this woman on this. This, you know, situation. And don't back down. Never ask. No.
[95:23]
Rachel Lindsay
Do not back down.
[95:25]
Justin Sylvester
No.
[95:26]
Rachel Lindsay
Who cares about, like, tradition? Like, I want my grandma to be a flower woman. Like, she's gonna walk down the aisle with my niece, and they're both gonna, like, do their thing.
[95:34]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[95:35]
Rachel Lindsay
If my little nephew wants to be a flower boy, instead of a ring bearer, he will get a basket of petals. Like, yeah, I think it's concerning that. She's like, my family will feel uncomfortable.
[95:45]
Justin Sylvester
Then we have a major problem.
[95:47]
Rachel Lindsay
We have a big problem. I think you said everything so well. Absolute hero. I think it's really sad where he says, like, I haven't been pushy about anything about the wedding. Whenever I wanted something that she didn't, I either compromised or I let it go. This is also his wedding.
[96:07]
Justin Sylvester
By the way. I wouldn't even be having a wedding. I would have ate the. The 30,000, 40,000 that I put down on deposits and been like, we need to run.
[96:14]
Rachel Lindsay
This is bad.
[96:15]
Justin Sylvester
And by the way, you know what? I'm going to call her Lisa. Lisa. You know what's not traditional? A second wedding. Okay? Y' all are both getting married for the second time at this point, so you don't need to chill like, your man's been married already, okay? Like, we. Tradition went out the window.
[96:31]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Yeah.
[96:32]
Justin Sylvester
This is crazy.
[96:33]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. Top comment is people wanting more info. Info. Does your fiance get along with your son? I mean, what does he say about their relationship? Next comment down. Also, how long has Opie and fiance been together? How is their relationship? Is this the only thing she seems to be adamant about or is there a pattern here?
[96:52]
Justin Sylvester
What did he say?
[96:53]
Rachel Lindsay
So I'm looking at Op's comments. We do get a couple.
[96:56]
Justin Sylvester
Shut up.
[96:57]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. Oh, the little boy. So we find out how old he is. Okay.
[97:01]
Justin Sylvester
He's five.
[97:02]
Rachel Lindsay
He's only four.
[97:03]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah, if she.
[97:05]
Rachel Lindsay
He's four.
[97:07]
Justin Sylvester
Lady. No, you can't marry that lady.
[97:11]
Rachel Lindsay
I don't even care how old he could be. A 13 year old boy like 4. He just wants to feel included. And that looks fun. Like kids don't understand societal norms and tradition and all of these weird gender expectations.
[97:22]
Justin Sylvester
Like, and by the way, he's not asking to wear. By the way, if he wanted to wear a dress, let him. Yes, let him wear a dress.
[97:28]
Rachel Lindsay
Who fucking cares?
[97:28]
Justin Sylvester
He's not even asking to wear a dress.
[97:29]
Rachel Lindsay
Ass.
[97:30]
Justin Sylvester
He just wants to throw flowers in the ground.
[97:31]
Rachel Lindsay
Throw flowers.
[97:32]
Justin Sylvester
Like, what is going on here?
[97:36]
Rachel Lindsay
He mostly sees her as a boring grownup. I haven't found anything for them to bond over yet. Go to the zoo. Go.
[97:44]
Justin Sylvester
She's probably not trying.
[97:45]
Rachel Lindsay
Exactly. When I talk to him about her, he doesn't usually have much to say. He'll say she's pretty or she's boring. That's his favorite word lately. So don't read into it too much. Or she's tall. He thinks everyone is tall. She's actually quite short. I haven't gotten much substance from him, which is normal for his age. Yeah, she thinks her half sister should be a flower girl. Her half sister is 11. I haven't gotten the impression from her that she particularly wants to do this. I think she's somewhat embarrassed by the idea because she sees it as something for little kids like my son. Just saying. I don't think he should do both personally because he might get confused or overwhelmed. He is only four. She said it's standard for girls to do it and her family would be confused and embarrassed to see her new stepson performing a girl's role.
[98:31]
Justin Sylvester
Get out of here. Don't marry this lady. Oh my God.
[98:36]
Rachel Lindsay
She is worried that he would pick a dress.
[98:39]
Justin Sylvester
Well, here's the other jam. When he asked you to be a part of that conversation, you said, I have too much on my plate already. And then, then when he said he'll just figure it out. You said, oh, no, I don't want to give up control. So what do you want?
[98:54]
Rachel Lindsay
She's making me want to pull out my hair. She's actually making me want to pull out my hair.
[98:58]
Justin Sylvester
She's making me want to put a cash bar at her at her wedding that she doesn't know about. Okay. That's what she's making me want to do.
[99:04]
Rachel Lindsay
People are going to need some alcohol to deal with her. Damn bridezilla.
[99:08]
Justin Sylvester
She's that girl.
[99:09]
Rachel Lindsay
It's giving bridezilla.
[99:11]
Justin Sylvester
He's marrying that.
[99:13]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. OP does go on to share. Little boy's mother is involved. He has extended family. My ex hates my fiance, but that's typical, I think. No, she manages to keep it civil. But I know she and her sister have a group chat where they talk about my fiance.
[99:28]
Justin Sylvester
Put me on that group chat.
[99:30]
Rachel Lindsay
My dad thinks my wife needs to try harder to bond with my son. But she is trying to strike a delicate balance. If she pushes too hard, that can push him away. I don't think he appreciates how difficult it is to enter a child's life in these circumstances.
[99:43]
Justin Sylvester
Also, kids and dogs can sense people's energies.
[99:50]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, kids can clock it.
[99:53]
Justin Sylvester
So if your 4 year old is running from your fiance, one of two things is happening. Either she has bad juju or she smells like shit. But from your story, she just has bad juju.
[100:08]
Rachel Lindsay
Juju, it's giving bad juju.
[100:10]
Justin Sylvester
And you should totally look at your kid and take a a page out of that book and reevaluate what's going on.
[100:17]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Especially after finding out this last detail. We dated for a year and we got engaged in January. I think that is. Here's a hot take. If you have kids and you're blending families, I don't think a year is enough time. I'm gonna say that right now. I think you need at least two, if not three years. If you're blending families, like to really weed it out. A year. You can put on a big show and act for a year. Oh, I love your little kid. As soon as you got him locked in military camp.
[100:49]
Justin Sylvester
By the way, you've watched too many Lindsay Lohan movies. You were on ABC Family for way too long. Okay, that's some parent trap shit. However, I think when you're blending families, a year is the point where you should start living together. A year is a part where you start blending the families. You just start living together to figure out if this marriage will even work.
[101:11]
Rachel Lindsay
Completely agree.
[101:12]
Justin Sylvester
And then at two years if you want to talk about it, then you can, but you're missing a step here, sir. I. I think you might have proposed too soon.
[101:21]
Rachel Lindsay
I think so.
[101:21]
Justin Sylvester
He went to Jared way too fast.
[101:23]
Rachel Lindsay
I know.
[101:24]
Justin Sylvester
He definitely went to Jared way too fast.
[101:26]
Rachel Lindsay
Every kiss begins with K. Who knows? O. Who knows?
[101:30]
Justin Sylvester
Okay. I mean, damn. Keep that receipt.
[101:34]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. I think. Yeah. He did propose on New Year's Eve, though, so it might be considered a gift.
[101:40]
Justin Sylvester
She keeps the ring, too.
[101:41]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. If you propose on a holiday, it can be considered a gift.
[101:45]
Justin Sylvester
I bet you she knew, too.
[101:46]
Rachel Lindsay
There's ways to do it, y' all.
[101:48]
Justin Sylvester
Damn.
[101:48]
Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I think OP is getting a little lost in the sauce. Hopefully figures it out. We don't have an official update yet.
[101:56]
Justin Sylvester
I want to hear from the ex wife. I know the ex wife is on this thread and watching this podcast. You go ahead and see the comments. Yes.
[102:04]
Rachel Lindsay
Let's go.
[102:05]
Justin Sylvester
She's out there. I know you and your sister because I know she's shady, too. Yeah. You. You guys getting those comments.
[102:12]
Rachel Lindsay
I know. Well, and there are reasons for not liking her. She's stuck up. There's. There's a few other comments, but just, you know, age? Op is 28.
[102:20]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[102:20]
Rachel Lindsay
Fiance's 26, so she's young, but. Yeah, no update. Last we have is OP saying, I'm gonna put my foot down. It's my wedding, too. This won't work if we both aren't willing to compromise.
[102:34]
Justin Sylvester
Damn. Opie is young, 28, to be married twice.
[102:39]
Rachel Lindsay
Four year old. Kiddo.
[102:40]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, he probably wasn't married. He just was.
[102:42]
Rachel Lindsay
Kiddo, kiddo, Kiddo.
[102:44]
Justin Sylvester
I want to know what OP looks like.
[102:45]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm curious.
[102:46]
Justin Sylvester
Me too.
[102:47]
Rachel Lindsay
I want a family photo.
[102:48]
Justin Sylvester
The ex wife. Come on on. Throw it in there.
[102:50]
Rachel Lindsay
Pop in. If this is you, pop in.
[102:52]
Justin Sylvester
Pop in.
[102:52]
Rachel Lindsay
This sound familiar?
[102:54]
Justin Sylvester
It's been fun.
[102:55]
Rachel Lindsay
Thank you so much. This was so good.
[102:58]
Justin Sylvester
I loved it. This is so chill. This is a setup, though.
[103:01]
Rachel Lindsay
You clocked everything today.
[103:02]
Justin Sylvester
They had me up in here just comfortable as hungry. Just saying whatever came to my mind.
[103:07]
Rachel Lindsay
We'll have to do with some wine next time.
[103:09]
Justin Sylvester
Don't tell me that.
[103:10]
Rachel Lindsay
I literally always have. I usually always have bottles, but it's in the middle of the day, like with my daytime guest. I always feel like, okay, next time maybe we do a trio. Me, you, and Rachel.
[103:20]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah, let's do it. That'd be really fun. That'd be really fun.
[103:23]
Rachel Lindsay
Okay. I'm seeing her next week. I'm gonna talk to her about it.
[103:26]
Justin Sylvester
That'd be really fun.
[103:26]
Rachel Lindsay
I'LL talk to her about it. If it doesn't happen, then you just know. Rachel's a hater.
[103:30]
Justin Sylvester
Oh, my God. Thank you for having me.
[103:32]
Rachel Lindsay
Where can people find you? You have a new podcast out yesterdays.
[103:36]
Justin Sylvester
Yes, it's the bomb. It's wherever you get podcasts at, you can watch the video. I like to listen to it in my car. We get a little shady. It should be called the yes or shady. But Blakely Thornton is my podcast host and he kills it. He's so funny, irreverent, and most importantly, he is not media trained. So it is just.
[103:56]
Rachel Lindsay
Oh, you know, it's juicy.
[103:57]
Justin Sylvester
It goes off the rails.
[103:59]
Rachel Lindsay
It's disordered, it's messy. There's a lot of disarray there.
[104:03]
Justin Sylvester
We call it gaotic. Ooh, we're a little gaotic because we have like a. There's supposed to be a formula to this thing, but we go so far off the rails that sometimes times it's just pure chaos.
[104:17]
Rachel Lindsay
I love that.
[104:18]
Justin Sylvester
Yeah.
[104:18]
Rachel Lindsay
Honestly, it sounds like a great time.
[104:20]
Justin Sylvester
Literally. No, you have to listen to it. It's so much fun.
[104:22]
Rachel Lindsay
I'm gonna be tuned in.
[104:23]
Justin Sylvester
Episode three is dropping on Tuesday.
[104:25]
Rachel Lindsay
Ooh, it's a fresh one. By the time this episode comes out, though, guys, there might be five or six episodes come through. The link for Justin's show will be in the description along with all of his other socials and things like that, so be sure to follow. Thank you again for coming on.
[104:40]
Justin Sylvester
Thank you for coming.
[104:41]
Rachel Lindsay
Until next time, guys. Guys, bye.