Loading summary
Transcript443 lines
- [00:01]
A
This episode of Two Hot Takes is brought to you by Wayfair. This is not your first rodeo after all of the wild and somewhat uncomfortable stories we read on this show. One thing's for sure. Life can be unhinged. That's why your home should be your calm, comfy, happy place. And Wayfair totally gets that. My happy place includes a nice sofa, an ottoman to kick my feet up on, and a blankie. You guys know I love a blankie. And I love pieces that look good and are gonna last. And that's what I've gotten with Wayfair. A lot of my studio furniture is even from Wayfair. And they delivered it, came in, set it up, it was seamless. And I'm even trusting Wayfair for the lounge furniture for our wedding. So whether it's furniture, storage solutions, decor, you can get it all in one place at Wayfair. Shop everything home@wayfair.com with free and easy delivery straight to your door. That's W A Y-F-A-I R.com Wayfair Every Style, Every Home. This episode of Two Hot Takes is presented by State Farm. Whether you're debating scrolling on your phone for hours or rewatching your comfort comedy movie for the 10th time or both, choices are important when it comes to choosing coverage. A State Farm agent can help you find options that are right for you. Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. Okay. You bucked up?
- [01:20]
B
Yep.
- [01:21]
A
You're ready?
- [01:22]
B
Yep.
- [01:23]
A
I don't know if you're ready for these ones.
- [01:25]
B
I think I am. I think when I sit in this chair, it feels like. Feels like going to the movies and you kind of get yourself comfy because you know it's going to be a couple hours.
- [01:34]
A
Okay.
- [01:35]
B
And it's not dissimilar to seeing a movie. I mean, you're seeing a bunch of mini movies in one, I guess. But honestly, it's still kind of the same in a way.
- [01:45]
A
Yeah, a little bit of drama.
- [01:47]
B
Yeah.
- [01:47]
A
A little bit of comedy sometimes.
- [01:50]
B
Lots of drama.
- [01:51]
A
Yes.
- [01:52]
B
Lots of ups and downs. Like a movie.
- [01:54]
A
Yeah, today's definitely got a lot of ups and downs. The theme I have for you, which. Who, who are you down there? Who?
- [02:01]
B
Who, who, who, where?
- [02:03]
A
Who are you down there? Jt, we got Justin joining today. Hi, guys. I'm your host, Morgan. If this is your first time here. And welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. Today's theme started out kind of being like, don't humble your partner. But now it's kind of like oh, that's embarrassing your partner, or, oh, that's embarrassing your friend. And so it's kind of all these, like, embarrassing stories. Like, why, oh, did you need to do that? Or you. Okay, you had to do that. But it's just. It's so embarrassing.
- [02:37]
B
Okay. I've been embarrassed.
- [02:39]
A
Have you?
- [02:40]
B
Yeah. I feel like sometimes, you know, you should not be so embarrassed. But there's definitely things that I feel anyone would be embarrassed.
- [02:49]
A
What's something that comes to mind for you?
- [02:51]
B
I feel like there's different things now that will be embarrassing. And I've gotten over a lot of the ones from back in the school days when you trip and you hear people giggle. I used to run around the corner in shame and just hope.
- [03:08]
A
Shame.
- [03:08]
B
Or like, when that happens somewhere public and you just walk away really fast just so you. You know, it never happened. It didn't happen. Sort of embarrassment.
- [03:18]
A
Yeah. Okay.
- [03:19]
B
Now I guess it's only embarrassment if you really do something and right after people call you, oh, I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have done that. Which doesn't happen much to me. I usually think a lot about things I'm going to say or things I do so I'm less regretful. But I feel sometimes regret and embarrassment can be hand in hand.
- [03:48]
A
Okay, well, we're going to see today. The only thing that comes to mind when I'm like, ugh, I've been, like, thoroughly embarrassed before. And obviously there's a lot of them, but the one that really comes to mind is I was out with, like, classmates from grad school, and I had two drinks, like, a drink in each hand, and this girl pulled down my shirt on me, and I didn't have a bra or anything underneath. And I'll never forget that feeling of, like, literally looking at tables around and, like, seeing faces just, like, drop. And I'm just like, fudge. And I obviously had two drinks in my hand. Like, fixing my shirt wasn't an instant, like, pull up.
- [04:26]
B
Yeah, yeah, that.
- [04:27]
A
That's what sticks with me.
- [04:29]
B
And that's just such a wrongdoing towards you, yet you have to be sat with the embarrassment of it. I know. I can't think of one.
- [04:40]
A
Well, we're gonna get to them today, so.
- [04:42]
B
Okay. Probably remind me one buckle up, little doggy situation or another.
- [04:46]
A
Okay, well, let's dive in. You need to say something after. Let's dive in. Lauren's got her. Let's do it. What's yours gonna be? Yeehaw. Giddy up.
- [04:56]
B
Yeehaw's Pretty good. We can have a temporary one for now, but I do want a signature one. I don't think that's quite it yet. Okay, so what is it for today?
- [05:07]
A
Let's dive in.
- [05:10]
B
Let her flush.
- [05:13]
A
What?
- [05:14]
B
I don't know.
- [05:16]
A
Okay, let's do it. Before we get into this week's episode with Justin, this episode of two hot takes is presented by State Farm. Having the right people in your corner can make all the difference. I'm going back home to Minnesota next week and we're building a barn. And if I didn't have the right people, there would be no barn for my wedding. And like those people, State Farm is there to help you choose the coverage you need. There's so many coverage options out there, so it's nice knowing you have help finding what's going to fit you. Your life, your family, everything you need. So go online@state farm.com or use the award winning app, get help from one of their local agents. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Okay, this first one coming from R amatheasshole one day old titled Am I the asshole for calling my boyfriend Daddy in front of his mom? Hello redditors. I, 24 female, and my boyfriend, 28 male, have been together just shy of one year. Like any ordinary couple, we both have our list of nicknames for each other. His range from Baby Girl, Cinnamon Bun, Cutie Pie and so on. Mine range from Baby, Booby, Handsome and my personal favorite, Daddy. Just for reference, before I get into the story, let me mention one thing. My boyfriend's mom, who we live with, calls her husband my boyfriend's stepdad Poppy in front of us. The other day around 5ish, my boyfriend and I are cooking in the kitchen. When we cook, we like to make it fun so it doesn't feel like a chore. So our cooking sessions often involve some light music, dancing, bad singing and pecking lips here and there. That said, there is a small open sectional wall between the kitchen and living room. While we were cooking, his mom was standing right by that open wall and overheard me call her son Daddy. She looked offended and said, quote, what did you call him? At first I thought she was just joking as she is a quite sarcastic lady. But after a few seconds I realized she was dead serious. I looked at her surprised because I had no clue she was there the whole time and responded with daddy. She was in disbelief and told me to never call him that again. I had the audacity, as some might say, to respond by saying, how is this any different from you calling your husband Poppy? Around us, my boyfriend's jaw dropped. I think his dog's did, too. She couldn't even look at me at that point. It's been two weeks now, and my boyfriend has been begging me to apologize to his mom. But I genuinely don't understand how I'm in the wrong Redditors, what would you do if you were me?
- [08:34]
B
I think, you know, it's not my term, but to each their own. I don't know if it would be outright offensive to anybody. I mean, I guess it is to the mom, but I'm saying, like, it's not necessarily a negative term. It's just always a bit odd. I don't know if I was around a couple saying it, I'm not going to say something about it, but I would definitely talk to you about it. I'd be like, did you hear that? Yeah, they clear. Like, if they're doing the mommy, daddy thing, I would bring it up to you in private. I'm not going to make, you know, I'm not going to make it a thing.
- [09:16]
A
So do you think asshole, though? Like, do you think she's in the wrong here for using it? Obviously, it's not our cup of tea. We don't use it. I think thinking about kids, like, okay, maybe someday, but is she the asshole in this situation?
- [09:29]
B
No, because where I'm getting at is I'm just surprised the mom said something instead of kind of holding it back and then talking about it later. Maybe not even with her son, but just like, huh, okay, guess they're doing that. That's cool. Doesn't really affect me in any way except for, huh, like, I don't know what. You really can argue with that. I don't know why it would offend you. It's just a term you're not going to use. But it's still like, what do we mean by that?
- [10:06]
A
I think it's the sexual implications that daddy has started carrying. I think the Internet has kind of ruined Daddy.
- [10:13]
B
Yeah.
- [10:14]
A
Even like, my dad's like, why don't you call me dad anymore? I'm like, because the Internet ruined it. So I get where the mom is coming from. Like, please don't say that in front of me in my home. Like, they're also living with his mom. So it's kind of like, it's her house, her rules. Like, you're 24, your boyfriend's 28. He still lives with his mom. You moved in with his mom. That's her house. It's kind of A basic respect thing. Like, I can imagine if I had a kid and his girlfriend was walking around the house being like, hey, Daddy. Like, I don't know how it's being said, first of all, but if it's like, hey, Daddy, can you grab me the salt?
- [10:49]
B
But that's. You almost have to say it the other way.
- [10:53]
A
I know, because otherwise it comes out. It's too, like. I don't know.
- [10:57]
B
It's like calling someone the wrong name.
- [10:59]
A
So, like, I don't think she was the asshole for initially saying it, but I think she was kind of the asshole for doubling down. I think it's fair to ask a question and be like, well, what's the difference between Daddy and Poppy? And maybe for her, culturally, it is different. And you have your boyfriend coming to you and being like, can you please apologize to my mom? Like, just apologize to my mom. And you're not. You're just like, it's been two weeks. You're living with her. Like, that's her house. Like, there's. There's kind of like a respect thing to just be like, we'll use it when you're not around. But, like, yeah, I get it.
- [11:35]
B
Yeah. It's just not even to the level of something that needs to be an issue in the, you know, bigger picture. This doesn't need to be a defining problem. It's just, oh, okay, cool. I think as much as I'm saying I'm surprised the mom said something, I'm just as surprised that the girlfriend said it right there. I feel if that was one of our terms, which is still hard for me to get there, it wouldn't be one. I mean, I feel like I tend to not even say much besides your name or babe around other people. You know, it's just. It's something that does go through your head.
- [12:19]
A
I think, though, like, we've all been.
- [12:20]
B
Around the couple that's like, baby. And then everyone's like, baby. And it's like, oh, my God. Who is not annoyed by hearing that all day long?
- [12:29]
A
I mean, this is their home, though, too. It's just hard that they're living with the mom. That's where, like, you kind of get to this hard point with, like, boundaries of, like and respect. It's like, okay, we're both adults. They're obviously having sex under that roof. So, like, the mom does have to be kind of realistic in that sense. But, like, you don't also have to have it, like, flouted in front of you as a parent. So I think it's just basic respect. It's not even a. Affect your elder kind of thing. It's just like, hey, she doesn't like it. I'm not going to use it in front of her. So I think in that regard. And kind of like refusing to apologize, I do think on this one, I.
- [13:09]
B
Mean, would you liken it to a, you know, someone who's very uncomfortable with swearing or just really doesn't like swearing?
- [13:16]
A
Yeah.
- [13:17]
B
And then, you know, it's the same reason you don't go around your grandparents and start spouting off all these swear words. And some people do, but yeah, it's that kind of thought. Like, all right, let's just keep this when it's us and when you're not around a certain party. And now it's been said we're living in the same place. Yeah. You could get to the point where you start thinking, I might have, you know, stayed in the nest a while. Could. Could fly out. But in the meantime, let's make it just a. A non issue.
- [13:49]
A
There's no reason you can avoid saying daddy.
- [13:52]
B
Like, if you get down to it. Yes, freedom of speech, yes, it's her house. But we don't need to get into this battle. Let's just move forward and not blatantly say daddy. Because clearly there's a Rolodex of other names here.
- [14:05]
A
Maybe she called her ex husband daddy. Maybe that was their kink and maybe she doesn't want to be reminded of it. It could be, I don't know, like, you're not gonna die if you don't call your partner daddy in common living spaces. Yeah.
- [14:16]
B
It just doesn't.
- [14:17]
A
And until you can get your own place, like, that's kind of a respect thing that you guys are going to have to deal with.
- [14:22]
B
Not a hill to die on.
- [14:24]
A
No. Top comment. We all know that that word has a sexual connotation. You're the asshole. Based on the comments, I know people are going to downvote and disagree with me, but, like, nobody wants to hear that. If you're in your own house, sure, go ahead. But if you're in his mother's house, then it is not okay. I don't know about your boyfriend's mom, but Poppy is used in Hispanic culture a lot as a term of endearment. It can be sexual, but not always. I've heard moms call their sons that as a term of endearment. I've heard people call their dogs that, too. Next comment down. Yeah, you're the asshole. I'm sure My son and his girlfriend call each other all kinds of things in private, but in my home and in my hearing, they're respectful. And talking back to her like, that would, whoa, go be grown in your own house.
- [15:11]
B
Yeah. I think it's the instant defensiveness. It could have turned into just a conversation, but it turned into a battle real quick. Maybe you should just start just using the one that was in the list. Booby.
- [15:24]
A
Booby. Booby's Booby. Booby. Hey, Booby.
- [15:26]
B
Where are you at, Booby?
- [15:27]
A
Maybe it's bubby, but it's spelled booby.
- [15:30]
B
Oh. So I'm like, that's a unique one too.
- [15:33]
A
Someone else goes, yes, I'm Mexican, and Poppy and Mommy are definitely terms of endearment. Most people don't view those terms as sexual. I call my nibblings athletes and students that as. It's never seen as odd. And that's what I was saying. Like, I think we don't. Like there was no mention of culture, but, like, I was assuming Poppy, like, was not sexual for the mom. Yeah.
- [15:54]
B
To me, that. That doesn't do that. It's the daddy thing that's become overwhelmingly associated with that.
- [16:01]
A
I know. And someone does go, daddy is not equal to Poppy.
- [16:05]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [16:06]
A
So there's that. A lot of people. You're the asshole. You're the asshole. Lol. You're the asshole. That's her house. And I think that's like the. Kind of like, the main point for me. It's like, yeah, you're 24. Yes. You can kind of be on the same level, but you're in her house. It's not really your place to start fighting his mom. So that's. That's what I got for that one. No comments from op. No updates. It's a day old right now, so we'll have to see if we get one. But moving along, moving along. This next one is coming from R. Weddingshaming, three months old, titled. Sister in law freaks out on me because her fiance tried to book me for his bachelor party.
- [16:51]
B
Won't have that issue too long.
- [16:53]
A
Didn't read. I'm an exotic dancer. My sister in law's fiance tried to book me. I declined, and she accused me of trying to sleep with him. Potentially not the right sub since it involves the bachelor party and not a wedding, but here we are. I'm a part of an exotic dancer group. We aren't strippers, but pretty close. We perform racy group routines to racy songs in as little clothes as possible. We mostly do gentlemen's clubs and bachelor parties. It's actually how I met my husband. We hired him as security after a particularly nasty incident at a club. My husband's family all know what I do for a living and are cool with it mostly. My sister in law gets pretty catty whenever I'm around her fiance. Whatever. A few weeks ago the fiance's best man approached me asking if we would perform at his bachelor party. He said my sister in law would be more comfortable with the entertainment being people she knows wouldn't try to sleep with her fiance. I knew this to be bullshit and declined. I gave him the contact info for a club we work with that intermediates the booking of its performers. The other night my sister in law called me screaming because the best man apparently asked her to ask me to reconsider. I guess he couldn't book anyone else due to budget constraints and thought I would do it as a favor. She went ballistic, accusing me of trying to sleep with her man, saying I was always flirting with him and trying to use the performance as an excuse to get handsy with him and threatening to tell my husband that I've been cheating. I told my husband when the best man approached me and he's seen enough of our shows to know that we never get too close to the audience. I tried to calmly explain to her that I declined the initial offer, I'll decline any further offer, and that I want nothing to do with her fiance. I'm happy in my marriage and my work is just work. She barely let me get a word in and now both me and my husband are uninvited to the wedding. I've messaged all the other girls in my group a warning not to answer a call from her number. I wouldn't put it past her to freak out on them too. And my husband called both the best man and the fiance to tell them off. My in laws have texted me saying they'll talk to my sister in law and convince her to let us come, but I honestly didn't even want to go in the first place. I'm glad none of them believe this nonsense, but that wedding would be hell for everyone involved if we went. This whole situation screams to me that the fiance thinks I'm hot and wants to get a piece of that without technically cheating. He doesn't respect me or sex workers in general and is just generally a creep, which I always got that vibe from him, but this really nails it. I give this marriage a year at best.
- [19:44]
B
Dang. Okay, I didn't. I wasn't focused so much on the fiance. I was focused on sister in law because it just seems like she's been waiting, you know, it's been a ticking time bomb. She's been waiting to pounce. And this just gave her that moment because she fabricated it. I mean, either the best man went and told some story with the, oh, she might do it as a favor and blah, blah, blah, blah, but I don't think so.
- [20:18]
A
I think the best man honestly sounds like he's really dumb and stepping completely out of line. I'm sure the fiance is talking to the best man, being like, she's so chill. She's totally gonna be down with it. Meanwhile, in his head thinking his best man isn't dumb enough to go to his future wife and be like, can you convince your sister law to dance for us? There's no way. Someone I know personally and have to see at every family holiday party would be the last person I'd want to dance for you. I'd rather have it be a stranger.
- [20:51]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [20:52]
A
Like that's way more comfortable. And it's like, I think the sister in law clearly has some insecurities. I mean, she's accusing her brother's wife of wanting to fuck her husband and fiance.
- [21:04]
B
And that's always kind of been on the radar.
- [21:06]
A
It's always been on her radar. I. To me, it gives. She's really insecure. She. What did she say here? My sister in law gets pretty catty whenever I'm around her fiance. Clearly, clearly worried about him, which maybe there's been issues in the past. She doesn't strike me as someone that's comfortable with having dancers or going to strip clubs or things like that. So it's like, why would her fiance embarrass her this way? The best man. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. Reaching out to someone, you know, like this.
- [21:38]
B
So that's what I'm trying to figure out is how involved is the fiance. And yes, it would be great to have the context of what his history has been, what the history in the relationship has been, and then also what the history involving the sister in law has been as well, because did it start with something he said? Did he make some comment that it kind of spiraled this? Did she get on this train? Because from the moment she saw sister in law, she's like, oh, wow, she's a smoke show. So I'm instantly going to be thinking, my future husband wants to get with her. You know, I want to know where it started from.
- [22:22]
A
I'm not seeing any comments from op. There's no update. Very, very active account. Five year old account. Very active in the Colorado Avalanche subreddit, Facebook, science, bad tattoos. I mean big hockey fan, kind of, kind of all over posting pictures of her dog like I mean very, very active on Reddit. So it does make me think this is a real account, real story. But yeah. No other comments. I don't know if it really matters how involved he is. Like if it's clear there's a disconnect because I don't think sister in law would have freaked out this much. I definitely think there was a boundary of no dancers, no strip clubs.
- [23:09]
B
Yes, I. Well, it's hard to imagine she'd be cool with any of that given this.
- [23:14]
A
But maybe it is kind of similar to me. Like she just doesn't want someone she knows and the sister in law because of the close proximity and how threatened she is by our op, her sister in law. Maybe that's the reason she's freaking out.
- [23:30]
B
Yeah, I just think the context would help shed light on, you know, if, if we knew where this all started and it has built up from it would help to determine if this is just not a good match. If they're just really. I don't know, because it seems like we have big trust issues or is it totally completely centered on this one person? Trust issues regardless. Right. But is it overall or is it all concentrated on just her?
- [24:01]
A
Yeah, it's an interesting question.
- [24:03]
B
And because the inter family especially involving because you do have family, you know, a lot of times if you're not doing a combined group trip like we are for Bachelor, Bachelorette.
- [24:16]
A
Yeah.
- [24:17]
B
You take your friends, your close friends, oftentimes siblings and even sometimes parents will go, you know, if like my friend Mike had his dad there, his dad was along on the whole trip and we didn't do any of the classic strip club, strippers, dances, whatever. So I've never experienced that on any bachelor trip. But I just can't even imagine commingling that with family. Depending on what type of relationship you have with your parent, your parent could be there for that trip. But having one of the performers or someone on the other side be related, it just, I don't even know why that would be a thought to begin with. And if fiance thought that was gonna be his way to make a move or get close with her or whatever it may be. And that's good. I mean without thinking it would ever get back. How is it never gonna get back?
- [25:22]
A
OP is very, very open with her husband. Husband works security for the dancing. Maybe not still but did. Like, it's very clear. They're open and communicate about everything.
- [25:37]
B
So I just don't know if it was dumb man of best man or what. But I'm trying. I'm like trying to piece the puzzle together in my mind some way to make it make sense.
- [25:47]
A
It doesn't make sense.
- [25:48]
B
And I can't figure out a way.
- [25:49]
A
That it makes sense. It doesn't.
- [25:51]
B
And I can't find a way that they don't have relationship troubles regardless of. Not if it's just one woman.
- [25:58]
A
They literally do. That's why OP is saying I give this marriage a year at best.
- [26:03]
B
Right. I mean, she would know better than we do because she would have more contacts.
- [26:07]
A
Yeah.
- [26:07]
B
But she also could be the one that's always looked at as the threat and whatever. And I would. If I was always a threat to someone, I'd be like, yeah, they're doomed too. You wouldn't really truly know from the inside, but.
- [26:20]
A
But again, if you married to her brother are a threat.
- [26:24]
B
Right.
- [26:25]
A
I mean, it doesn't matter if you're connected and you're the target.
- [26:28]
B
Like that's gonna be a lifelong.
- [26:29]
A
It's clear. Like you're kind of the last person who would go after him. Worry about all the other people he has access to. I'm good girl. Like, she is goofy and like to take it out on the sister in law. Like you're embarrassing to uninvite your brother and sister in law from your wedding because your fiance tried to get her as a dancer. You're looking the wrong direction. It's embarrassing.
- [27:02]
B
And it just makes things so complicated going forward.
- [27:05]
A
I know. I'm really glad the parents are on her side. Seemingly because it could go so south.
- [27:11]
B
We see the opposite a lot of times.
- [27:13]
A
We do.
- [27:13]
B
Even when someone has no legitimate claim to something.
- [27:16]
A
I know. Crazy. Tough comment on this one though. My God, what creeps quote saying my sister in law would be more comfortable with entertainment being people she knows wouldn't try to sleep with her fiance. How stupid do they think you are? In no world is that math mathing. Next comment down. Sounds like she'd believe every dancer was after her man. Even ones they don't know. That sounds like he is quite the prize. Ladies.
- [27:44]
B
It's not all that different than the story with the guy at work who the wife kind of fabricated the whole relationship and then the woman ended up changing jobs because she was so affected by all of it. I don't remember if that was Patreon or the last episode, but some I know, some people out there will know it's just like that. So it'd be good to know if there's actually anything that it's based on. But otherwise it feels baseless.
- [28:12]
A
I think there's been issues in their relationship in the past. Like, I'm sure he's wandering eyes or whatever, but I mean, everyone's kind of in the boat of like the sister in law sucking. She's 100% the type to put all the blame on the woman when her creep husband cheats and claim he was innocent, but fell into the evil trap through no fault of his own. Newsflash, the other dancers wouldn't be trying to sleep with her fiance unless that was part of the deal and they were being paid accordingly.
- [28:41]
B
Wow. Okay, we went there.
- [28:45]
A
Someone goes, yep, strippers aren't strippers because they want to fuck you.
- [28:49]
B
Right?
- [28:49]
A
And I think a lot of people need to get that straight. I also wonder if this was a part of trying to embarrass her in a weird way. Like, obviously not on the sister in law's part, but I wonder if the fiance wanted to, like, almost like, you're gonna dance for me.
- [29:08]
B
Like, I wonder if he looks down upon it.
- [29:10]
A
Yes. I wonder if he sees it as a lowly job or an embarrassing job and that's why he's asking her specifically. I'm really curious about this because it, it is so confusing to me how he knows his fiance. He knows she's not chill, and she definitely talks shit about the dancing and her brother's wife at home. So for him to kind of go out of his way to have his sister in law dance for him. I think there is something else here. And I know OP says like, I think he's just wanting to get a dance for me because he thinks I'm hot, but I do think there's a lot more to this.
- [29:49]
B
I didn't even think of it from that angle because I didn't. I don't really see it as that. I would. I didn't see it as like, oh, he's gonna look down and I don't.
- [29:59]
A
Look at it that way, but I'm like, I'm just perplexed why he would be so dumb.
- [30:04]
B
Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I'm also kind of curious of the, of the brother's opinion on the matter. We haven't heard anything about that.
- [30:14]
A
Very curious. Very curious. I'd love an update on this one too, OP Keep us posted. I mean, very active on Reddit. Posted a comment 13 hours ago. Fingers crossed.
- [30:27]
B
Yeah.
- [30:27]
A
But okay, moving on to this next one. Paquetes Expedia. Viv esparadis frutar de la musica con todos tu sentidos. Olivia loves a challenge. It's why she lifts heavy weights and likes complicated recipes. But for booking her trip to Paris, Olivia chose the easy way. With Expedia, she bundled her flight with a hotel to save more. Of course, she still climbed all 674 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower. You were made to take the easy route. We were made to easily package your trip. Expedia made to travel flight inclusive packages are atoll protected. We've got a couple wedding ones because we are in the thick of wedding planning right now and doing our bachelor bachelorette trip together this week. We literally leave tomorrow and we're like panic recording a bunch of swimming upstream. What does that mean?
- [31:35]
B
We're just swimming upstream because it's hard right now.
- [31:39]
A
Yeah, we got a lot going on. I'm sitting here panicking about my concrete slab getting poured and my barn getting brought in from the Amish in time mess over here.
- [31:49]
B
Oh, I'm filled with stress. It's about to burst out.
- [31:53]
A
I know. But at least things, no matter how bad they go, will maybe be better than this.
- [31:59]
B
Okay. Okay, that's helpful.
- [32:01]
A
Yeah, I like that. Okay, this next one is coming from Aitah. 17 days old. Titled wife says I need to get over it, but I can't stop obsessing over a prank that ruined my wedding experience and left me furious. During the reception, we were all doing the usual wedding games. Eventually, I was told it was time to do the garter removal. As everyone gathered around us in the middle of the dance floor, my wife was sitting in a chair and my friends brought out a blindfold and told me I would be doing the garter removal blindfolded. I should have been suspicious at their grins, but I'd had some drinks, wasn't suspecting anything. I put it on and tried to be a good sport about it, as everyone seemed like they were having a great time, myself included. As soon as I was blindfolded, however, my wife slipped out of the chair and was replaced by one of my groomsmen. He's a friend of the family I've grown up with, but I would not say we're close now. I literally cannot stand him, although he's not a bad guy. Other than my anger at this prank, sitting in the chair in place of my wife, my groomsman was in shorts with a garter around his thigh. My wife stood behind him and was talking to me as they walked me over to keep me fooled into thinking it was her. On their instructions, I got down on my knees and began to reach for what I thought were my wife's legs. Once I found the leg, I found the garter and began pulling it down. But at that moment, I heard my wife saying, with your mouth. With your mouth. So I leaned forward and grasped the garter belt in my mouth to the shrieks and applause of the crowd. The garter in my teeth, I pulled it down his leg. And then my wife actually came around to help me get it over his shoe because it got stuck. Once I had the garter, they told me to stand up and take off my blindfold. When I did, I was smiling because I thought I'd been a good sport. And everyone was laughing so hard. It seemed like everyone was having a great time. But when I took off the blindfold, everyone burst into even louder laughter. For a moment, the entire energy of everyone at the wedding was focused on nothing besides laughing at me. At me being the sole butt of the joke. It felt awful. I was furious. I wanted to say and do a million different things, but I didn't. For some reason, I just felt that pretending it wasn't a big deal was the best defense. That showing anger would be confirming how badly I'd just been humiliated for their delight. And that would have made my humiliation all the worse. So I sucked it up. I slept, walked through the rest of the wedding while doing my best to keep a smile on my face. My wife could tell I was stunned, but she kept on going, too. She definitely had no idea how badly I was taking it. Everyone was standing around us and we couldn't talk openly about how I felt, at least not without ruining everything. And I didn't know whether I wanted to go there after all the effort and money put into the wedding. And I kept sucking it up. The next day at the brunch and for most of the next week, through most of our honeymoon. At some point, I told myself that my wife didn't mean to hurt me, and there was no reason to ruin her wedding memories by telling her that my experience had been ruined. But then at the end of our honeymoon, I had had a few drinks and I just couldn't help it. And once I started talking to her about it, I just went off. I told her it was trashy, that it hurt, if not destroyed my trust and sense of intimacy towards her. I was harsh and got carried away. After at first apologizing a bit she got upset and left me sitting out there. I think I just kept going because I felt hurt and wanted to maybe make her feel bad as well. To be honest, since then, it's been a difficult subject. I've told her I don't want to hear about the wedding. I don't want to write thank you notes, look at pictures. If it was tomorrow, I wouldn't make plans to celebrate our anniversary. My wife and I have a lot of strengths in our relationship. But I just can't stop thinking about this and the feeling when I took off that blindfold. I literally cannot stop my mind from replaying it over and over. And I get mad again every time. And perhaps the worst part of it is that it's all recorded. We had a professional photographer shooting a video. And in the video I see at least four. Four other people recording it on their phones. Watching the video, I find myself looking at the laughing faces of family and friends in the video. And there's a part of me that I'd never act on that wants nothing more than to punch them all in their faces. The fact I know that these videos are out there makes it feel like it's constantly happening to me. My wife says that she's sorry, that she thought I would take it better and laugh it off and that I need to move on. I think maybe I am the asshole. No good is coming from obsessing over this. But I literally cannot let it go. I find myself coming up with reasons to be angry. I tell myself sometimes it was assault because I was tricked into putting my mouth on another man's leg without my consent. But I think that's just rationalizing my anger. I don't know. Am I overreacting? Am I the asshole for refusing to let it go?
- [37:21]
B
This one's complex. Cause I don't think you're the asshole for having the feelings you have. Cause that's. You know, it's hard to know with the range, the vast majority of how people would react to this. I know people that would be like, ah, no way. And then turn to the video, professional video camera, and be like, oh, shoot. Like people that love a good prank.
- [37:45]
A
Some people would genuinely be into this. Like, if this was my dad, my dad would genuinely be into this and find it hilarious.
- [37:52]
B
Yeah. And wouldn't feel embarrassment. Wouldn't be angry.
- [37:55]
A
Yeah.
- [37:56]
B
But I think it gets down to the core, especially with a wedding. Know your partner. Do you really know your partner? Because I know with 100% certainty the last time or place I would ever do A prank is at the wedding.
- [38:15]
A
Yeah.
- [38:16]
B
And, like, I wouldn't do pranks in general just because I know you don't like pranks. So I think it's a know your partner. I mean, do you guys prank each other all the time and that's your relationship? Are you like those couples on TikTok that prank each other constantly and seem to both be thriving with that? Like, it just is part of their dynamic? If you're not a pranking couple, I find it pretty nuts that there'd be a prank surrounding something so. And serious is the wrong word, but I don't know.
- [38:51]
A
Yeah. Your wedding is such a special day that, like, if you're not a pranking couple, this is a big risk to take.
- [38:58]
B
You know, I wouldn't love for this to happen, you know, some prank at a wedding. This specific situation. I think I would be more on the side that he's on, but I, I, I certainly wouldn't hold it in until the end of the honeymoon because I think, you know, though, I'd probably get through the rest of the wedding and not want to have anyone else but me feel bad about something for the rest of that night. I would certainly address it the next day. I would have a clear mind. I would be on the same page.
- [39:34]
A
I would.
- [39:34]
B
I would do everything I could to go and have the honeymoon that we both wanted, not suffer through it mad and angry the whole time, and then towards the end, let it out, just.
- [39:45]
A
Yeah.
- [39:45]
B
Because it's now from her position, she'll look back on that trip and be like, you know, I guess I thought I was having. We were having a good time, but clearly he had this in his mind the whole time. So I think kudos for getting through the rest of the wedding, because I. It's. You're surrounded by people. You're gonna make. You're gonna make it more of a scene. You're gonna make it more embarrassing later, even though you didn't cause the first thing. I've seen a lot of different pranks on TikTok from weddings, ones that I would say are probably less harmful, but still, I was even like, I don't know. You're taking such a serious moment and kind of mocking it and ruining it for the real moment. Like, a lot of them, they'll have the, like, a groomsman dress up in, like, a fake, like, a wedding dress.
- [40:34]
A
I saw that.
- [40:34]
B
And then they'll tap on the shoulder and they'll turn around, and he turns around with such hope and seriousness and emotion, and instantly, just Kind of like, ah, funny. But like, for me it's, it's such a. You've, you've built this day up. You've put so much behind it, financially, emotionally, and just everything that builds up to this day. And I just think any sort of prank just feels you have to know the person and you have to know that they would be into it otherwise. Steer clear because what's the, what's the point? Yeah, everyone had a laugh, but now you have one of the people that the whole day was about who's gonna look back on that and that's all they're gonna see.
- [41:15]
A
Yeah, I think that's kind of the bottom line here. It's like, don't embarrass the person that the party is about. And I think that's what's so confusing to me about pranks on really important days. Why would you take a chance on a wedding, at a baby shower, at a gender reveal, at the birth of a baby, a birthday anniversary? Why would you take a chance on what's supposed to be a big, beautiful, massive fun celebration, a special moment in time, and ruin it potentially? Why would you risk that? And I don't understand why you would want to embarrass your person. I did see that video of like the groomsmen in like a dress and the groom turned around and it was like for me, I kind of felt the same way. I was like, damn. He was like, probably so excited.
- [42:04]
B
But, but you could see the different personalities of the different people it happened to. Some would be like, oh, and then they'd tackle him. And others would be kind of like, haha.
- [42:13]
A
But, but that's like a little bit different of a prank too because it's like it's not embarrassing him.
- [42:17]
B
It's not in front of everyone.
- [42:19]
A
It's not in front of everyone. Like it's also your buddy in a dress. Like it's not embarrassing the groom.
- [42:25]
B
Yeah.
- [42:25]
A
Who the day is about. And if the bride is into that and that's how she wants to prank him, like for a first look kind of prank. Like if that's your relationship, that's your relationship. Me personally, I wouldn't want to do that because I feel like it would then take away from the gravity of our moment.
- [42:42]
B
It would. Yeah.
- [42:43]
A
So. But that's just me. Like if you, if you guys are funny, haha. People and you banter and prank each other, like that could be really fun and meaningful to you, but not gonna poop in your Cheerios. But like teach their own. But like this was like a step so much further. And he's so entitled to his feelings, I think their feelings that he might need to unpack in therapy because, like, I get being embarrassed and upset, but, like, it seems like it's really like it's PTSD now. It's genuinely eating at him as a person. So much so he's rewatching the video multiple times. Like, don't give that experience that much power over you to where you're now traumatized over it.
- [43:26]
B
I know.
- [43:26]
A
And the point that you're like, you almost sound like you regret your whole wedding. Like, if we had an anniversary tomorrow, I wouldn't celebrate it.
- [43:33]
B
Which I think, ouch. Which I think, you know, there's certain people who, when they have emotional conversations stemming from anger, they'll, like they said, I think, yeah, he even said they'll take it a little bit too far and say things they don't necessarily mean to try and drive the knife in and see a reaction from someone that you, you feel like, well, I was hurt this bad, so you need to feel hurt too. When in all reality, I think it's just a reconnecting, it's getting a true apology and it's kind of setting the baseline of we are not going to do pranks for serious things because that doesn't work for us. And it, it, you know, it made me feel this way, but I don't think it's. It's worth erasing this relationship and marriage over. You know, it's. It's a one off.
- [44:30]
A
Yeah.
- [44:31]
B
It's not a pattern of, of her hurting your trust in this way. But, yeah, it would. I. I can sit there and think about the replays going through your mind. Having her be the one that's essentially coaching you and guiding you through it. Because she's talking the whole time. Yeah.
- [44:52]
A
I don't know. Well, and like, imagine flipping the genders. Imagine the groom doing this prank on the bride and having the bride run her mouth up one of his groomsmen's legs. If you flip the genders, you can really feel how violating it is. And someone comments like, imagine if the groom was a victim. Like, the PTSD and anxiety would be overwhelming.
- [45:16]
B
Yeah.
- [45:17]
A
The top comment on this one, my husband played a prank when he took off my garter. He pulled a baby doll out of my dress. I'm a labor and delivery nurse. So it was genuinely funny. It didn't embarrass me. And I actually thought it was cute to incorporate him participating in my job. Everyone laughed, but not at me. I'm pretty sure he was not super comfy about being that intimate in front of everyone, so they gave him the diversion he needed. And, I mean, it is kind of weird when you think about it. Any pranks shouldn't be used as an excuse to hurt people and then be mad about it. Also, was it her idea or the groomsman? Just wondering if she trusted your friend and what you would find funny. Which is a great question. Great question. A lot of comments just be like, no, you're not overreacting.
- [46:03]
B
I'm really curious if they took it as far as to have that guy shave his legs.
- [46:08]
A
I'm very curious. You know, I feel like they went to commitment.
- [46:13]
B
You would. I feel like you kind of know your person's leg whether she shaves or doesn't. You know what I mean? But I feel like you would. If she does shave her legs, then I feel like, did he go that far? Because even on the first touch, it'd be like, what's happening here? You know, instead of getting all the way to that point, maybe, yeah, I.
- [46:31]
A
Could see him shaving. Or maybe he's just not a hairy dude. There's a comment here. To put it bluntly, the reason you can't get over it is because you felt disrespected at an event that's supposed to honor you and your wife and your union, and your wife was behind it. Yeah, that's a really bad time to pull a prank. And shame on whoever thought it up and thought that was a good idea. Weddings are not there to humiliate the bride and or the groom. You need to express to your wife that you feel disrespected in your relationship. You want to feel love and respect from her just like she wants to feel those from you. And you didn't feel either of those when she made you feel like a joke. Um, there's a comment here that has a couple awards on it. It's really, really long, so I'm not gonna read, like, the full thing, but it just says, this is something I've been thinking about a lot for the last year or so. Autonomy and agency are way more vital to the human experience than a lot of people realize. Each one of us needs to feel like we matter, that we have a right to exist and thrive for ourselves, not just be background players in the lives of others. It's very poor judgment by everyone involved. I don't think their intention was to traumatize OP like this. But I also don't believe OP's wife is giving this the attention that it deserves. Yeah, in the history of relationships, I doubt that Just get over it has ever had the magical powers that its wielders thinks it does. Instead, it acts like a spotlight on the person who says it, revealing that they don't grasp the weight of what they did, either because they are dense, lack empathy, or both. OP is going to continue to feel this way until his inner child feels heard, because only then can he feel the safety and reassurance needed to heal. And that can only come from op's wife. Sincere contrition. If she truly loves him, she'll find it.
- [48:09]
B
Yeah, imagine someone telling you just get over it. And you're like oh yeah, true. I'm over it. You're right. Yeah, makes sense.
- [48:17]
A
Does not work like that. So we do have an edit.
- [48:21]
B
An edit.
- [48:22]
A
Wow. Thank you all for the responses. I'm digesting and I have to say I'm genuinely feeling better just sharing this. Even if some of you don't think I'm in the right. I'm definitely not as angry as I was when I wrote this, so there's that. Although it does come and go in response to some of the questions. 1. Yes, I created this account to share this. I'm not AI or a bottle. I genuinely don't know what karma farming is, but anyone who wants my karma can have it. 2. It was the wedding planner who originally proposed the idea.
- [48:55]
B
The one who knows you the least.
- [48:58]
A
Literally. She had done it at other weddings apparently, and she coached my wife and friends on how to do it. To drape her dress over his lap and to stand behind him talking to me. He was wearing the same groomsman shirt and coat, but had changed into shorts, a stocking and and flip flops. So that's why he didn't feel any leg hair. He had like a full stocking on God. 3. My groomsman is now my brother in law because he's married to my wife's older sister. What I meant to say is that he's a good guy, we grew up together and I like him, but I didn't consider him a best friend at the time and now I'm no longer even thinking of him as a friend, in large part because I'm mad at him. I don't think there was a reason they picked him other than he's thin like my wife. 4. I believe my wife when she says she thought it would be funny and that I wouldn't mind. I just don't think she thought of it from my perspective. When it came to concluding this was a funny thing to do, sometimes I tell myself, this is what I'm mad about. It keeps changing. Really? 5. A lot of people asked what I expect my wife to do about it now besides apologize. I don't have a good answer to that and need to think about what that means. 6. My favorite comment thus far is the guy who told me to wash the sand out of my vagina. Ha. Fair play.
- [50:16]
B
You're gonna have people look at this from all different angles. But, you know, and maybe they're. They're the type of people who would be like, oh, yeah, that would be funny. I'd stand up and own it, like, get over it, whatever. But it's also not their day. It's your day. It's what you and your partner want. Both. And I just. It's interesting that she was really thought this was a good idea, because I just so clearly know what both of us would want without even asking.
- [50:49]
A
Even if you're getting this idea from a wedding planner, don't you think you'd, like, evaluate it against what you know of your partner? And I get like. She's saying, like, I thought you'd find it funny. I'm like, I get it's embarrassing, but, like, maybe there's, like, something else here he's not sharing. Either way, I think he's entitled to his feelings. I think this is a really cruel thing to do. As you guys know, I don't like pranks, but I'm. I am curious, like, what more context is behind this one and, like, why it's hitting so hard. Yeah, because I. I feel like the wedding planner, if she's done it on other couples and it's been funny, but, like, I don't know, it's quite wild.
- [51:29]
B
She also may not know because no one's. You know, I. I would say a lot of people would not show that or tell her. Yeah.
- [51:36]
A
And so that's maybe.
- [51:37]
B
Yeah.
- [51:38]
A
Well, some of the comments say that. They're like, you need to tell her that this was really a negative experience for you. Like, she can't keep bringing this up and interjecting this into couples because it. It would feel like there maybe was some weight behind it. If you have this wedding planner who does a bunch of weddings, you don't. It's your. Your only wedding. Your first wedding, I guess.
- [51:56]
B
Yeah.
- [51:56]
A
Like, maybe you're gonna be like, oh, my God. Yeah, people love it. That's hilarious. Let's do it. So you could get lost in that. It's really tough. But that's all we kind of have from op. I don't see any other updates. OP does respond to some people. I kind of find it funny. You're the asshole and whiny, do your wife a favor and pick up your Prius and leave. And OP responds, I actually do drive a Prius, which just kind of ironic in that OP does have another comment here. Like, people are asking, like, what do you want your wife to do besides apologize? And that is a good question because, like, you're obviously hurt. She's apologized, so how do you move past it? And I think. I think OP does need individual therapy. Like, I think there's a lot of big, big feelings he needs to unpack here. This was traumatic for him. It was really, you know, sad, embarrassing, all the above. But Opie goes, I don't know. I think this is why I get so mad about it. I don't know what can be done to take away the feeling of taking off the blindfold, seeing him instead of her. Everyone breaking out, laughing at me, looking up to see her laughing at me, realizing I was the butt of the joke. And everyone had been laughing at me instead of along with me the whole time. But you're right. What do I want now? I don't know. Maybe there's nothing I want other than to forget about it. And when I think about it, part of me wants to be a good sport, and a part of me gets so mad and I can go either way, I hate it. OP does say, like, having this conversation on Reddit is making them feel better. Like, talking this out is. Is making them feel better. Yeah, but this is a really tough one. I'm. I'm really curious for an update on this one. I hope they can make amends and, like, he can shift his mind a little bit on this and not be so impacted because, like, you don't want this to determine your whole future. Like, this one little blip in time that, like, doesn't feel like it came from a cruel place.
- [53:57]
B
Yeah.
- [53:58]
A
And I know intention is, like, half the battle with these, but I'd hate to see them get divorced over this when everything else seemed to be so great.
- [54:07]
B
Yeah. I mean, they had literally just given their vows and, you know, and you kind of. I guess as a. When you become married, you look at a lot of things that come up as. As ways to grow and get closer. I think you do in a serious relationship at a certain. At a certain point, too, where, you know, it's not. Something happens that's Obviously not to the lengths of cheating or something. And it's not. Your mind goes to, oh, break up. They're the wrong person. It's more. Okay, this is a big disconnect. How can we use this to make us stronger? And how can we grow from this? And that's why I see here. It's like that memory will probably always be there. But A, for him, how can we learn to live with it? And B, how can he feel that she's hurt him, has apologized, like, has been mentioned a bunch of times. And then I think the best thing you can do is just go forward and not do any pranks, because it's going to be a sore spot for a long time.
- [55:13]
A
Yeah. Pranks are kind of off the table with this one for sure.
- [55:15]
B
So just, I think just stay true to what's gotten you to this point. You obviously had a reason to get married.
- [55:22]
A
Yeah.
- [55:23]
B
And just keep looking forward because time will help, too.
- [55:26]
A
Absolutely. But. Okay, moving along, let's all keep our eyes peeled for an update on this one.
- [55:33]
B
This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Between two factor authentication, strong passwords, and a VPN, you try to be in.
- [55:40]
A
Control of how your info is protected. But many other places also have it.
- [55:44]
B
And they might not be as careful. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed, or your money back.
- [55:55]
A
Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast for 40% off. Terms apply. Okay, so this next one, buckle up. I feel like everyone kind of knows about this girl because of the viral headlines that have been going around. But there's this sex content creator named, I think it's Bonnie Blue, and she slept with a thousand guys in a day. And this has to do with that, which, like this just. That's. Wow. I think even doctors were coming out, being like, you can't do that. It's not safe for your body. It's just. Wow. It is titled, am I the asshole for telling my heavily pregnant friend her fiance was in a documentary?
- [56:47]
B
What documentary?
- [56:49]
A
Okay, it's currently 4am and I feel so guilty right now, I can't sleep. So myself and a few girlfriends decided to watch a documentary that's been trending. Not gonna lie, I was expecting a documentary showing a human side of a certain person. But, yeah, as anyone who has watched the documentary knows what it was, onto the issue. My friend's fiance was one of the 1,000, and I wasn't the first person to notice. Two other friends were first to notice. I didn't believe it at first, but with a second watch, it was definitely him. Even though his face was covered, the body shape and especially the tattoos were undeniable. We debated until the early hours of the morning if we should tell her or wait because she's eight months pregnant. But in my opinion, if someone cheats like that, it's not their first time. And I would rather lose her friendship for telling her straight away than. Than her finding out I knew and hit it. Because let's be real, when you tell someone news like that, there's a huge chance they'll hate you and not the cheater. So this Sunday morning, I asked my friend to meet up to talk. I showed her the evidence, and the minute she looked at the picture, she knew it was him and broke down. I expected her to be angry at me, but she thanked me for being honest. As multiple people have hinted that she should watch the documentary instead of being upfront like I was. I ended up driving her to her mom's house. I'm guessing she told her fiance. I told her because he's been blowing up my phone, calling me an evil little home wrecker who ruined not only his life and calling me out on social media for trying to ruin his relationship and wanting his unborn daughter to grow up without a dad.
- [58:37]
B
Yeah, because she did that.
- [58:39]
A
My friends are angry with me for telling her straight away and and not waiting until she had the baby in case the stress would cause issues to her health. I don't give two shits if I'm being honest about her fiance, but I feel so bad about putting my friend in this situation while heavily pregnant. And I'm worried if something does happen to her, it will be my fault. Like maybe she would have watched it herself and found out on her own. Am I the asshole for telling my pregnant friend her fiance was in a documentary? One I think she should know that her fiance cheated on her immediately with I don't know what order he was in. I don't know how safe they were. What if condoms broke and they didn't show it? Was he number one or was he number 999 out of a thousand people before him? Like she should know because if they're still being intimate or had been intimate after. What if she has nested 100%? That's probably more dangerous to a baby than stress.
- [59:37]
B
Like maybe. I don't know.
- [59:39]
A
Oh my God. Just. What? What? What? Delusional. What an embarrassment. What? What the helly what the helly? Oh my God.
- [59:51]
B
I just. It's actually unbelievable. Yeah. Obviously that he went, but that he was in the documentary.
- [60:00]
A
I literally. This is so crazy. And I don't know if this was a fucking skit, but I saw a couple on TikTok fighting because her boyfriend got a ticket to Bonnie Blue. And I. Because I think she gave out tickets or something. I don't know how she did it. Okay, but like her boyfriend got a ticket to Bonnie Blue or got invited to be a part of this 1000 sex in a day experience.
- [60:25]
B
I wonder what kind of.
- [60:26]
A
Everyone in the comments were like, you mean ex boyfriend? Like, girl. What?
- [60:29]
B
Yeah.
- [60:29]
A
And he was like, this is a once in a lifetime experience.
- [60:33]
B
What I mean, are guys, like seeing this as not cheating because it's set up to be such an event and a thing that. Oh, it's not cheating. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not sneaking off with some woman that I'm gonna see all the time. It's just this one time. Like, what? How is this being rationalized?
- [60:55]
A
I don't know.
- [60:56]
B
But the fiance also, you know, I guess we're not super shocked that he's lashing out at the friend saying, you ruined. Because he's now sitting there with his whole life in pieces. He knows he did it to himself. He knows. You have to know.
- [61:10]
A
No, I think he's a self centered piece of shit.
- [61:14]
B
100% for exposing something you did wrong, literally.
- [61:17]
A
So that's where I'd pop off. You're gonna call me out on social media for being a little home wrecker? Guess what? Screenshots.
- [61:25]
B
You can play that game.
- [61:26]
A
Screenshots of you in that documentary are going up and people are going to see exactly what you did to your pregnant fiance. You want to mess with the bull, you're going to get the horns straight up the ass. I don't understand how he has the audacity to play with this fire and not expect to be burned.
- [61:48]
B
I don't know. It doesn't make sense.
- [61:49]
A
I'm so perplexed. So perplexed.
- [61:52]
B
It's almost like you remember when the Ashley Madison list came out?
- [61:56]
A
Oh my God. Yeah.
- [61:57]
B
It's almost like this list will come out. Like, who was on the Bonnie Blue list? Who showed up? Because how many married or fiance people are in that, engaged in that line? Or boyfriends, all like, you know. But the other side of this that's interesting is whether or not to tell her. And I think my gut was aligned with Ops and saying you should But I'm also very, very unfamiliar and have no knowledge of how certain things can affect someone that's in late stages of pregnancy. I don't have that knowledge. But now that you've done it, we can't undo it. She knows. I think the best course of action going forward is. Is to go above and beyond to spend time with her, watch movies with her, go kind of fulfill. Not the boyfriend role, but fulfill. You fill a place, a void in her life to be there so she's not alone. Stirring on this. So she's not alone. Thinking constantly, you know, getting super stressed, super anxious about, wow, I'm about to have this child. And, you know, at this point, probably wants nothing to do with the fiance you hope. And I thought I was gonna get married. Thought, we're gonna have this family because you're the one that told her I would be the one who's also there to support as much as I possibly can. You know, the same reason you wanted to be a good friend and tell her, be a good friend and step up when she really needs you now.
- [63:37]
A
Yeah.
- [63:37]
B
And I think that that's not too big of an ask. And I think that'll also maybe make you feel better with all this, the stress you're having now about, oh, my God, should I not have told her? Because all the comments are saying or all the people have been saying, I shouldn't have told her. You should have waited.
- [63:54]
A
Yeah. And I will say, like, STIs, STDs, like, can significantly impact pregnancy and the health of a baby. A lot of them, like hiv, syphilis, hep B can be passed from mother to baby during pregnancy, at delivery, through breastfeeding. I mean, like, you should know as soon as possible. Like, it doesn't matter if I was. If I was seven months, six months, I could be ready to pop. I would want to know as soon as you know. And I do think it's kind of pathetic that people are like, you should watch the documentary. You should watch it. You should watch it. Like, multiple people. Like, just tell me. Yeah, just tell me. I feel like if I watched it and then discovered it, I'd be like, well, why didn't you just tell me you knew?
- [64:36]
B
That's weird.
- [64:37]
A
Like, why'd you want to set me up like that? Rather than making sure I'm in the right headspace and just tell me. I find it goofy. So I have my comments sorted by best. The top doesn't really even address op. Okay, so someone goes, you wrote, I'd rather lose her friendship for telling her straight away than her finding out I knew and hid it. And I expect her to be angry at me, but she thanked me for being honest. So why does anyone else's opinion matter? OP responds. Our friend group are afraid that the stress would harm her as she has had issues during the pregnancy and suffers from panic attacks. And if anything were to happen to her or the baby, I'd never forgive myself. And this is somehow worse than encouraging her to watch it by herself without any support while she's pregnant. Yeah. Okay. Literally did not read that, but that's what I was envisioning. Like, imagine her watching this by herself with a fucking bag of popcorn next to her, just expecting to like, watch a documentary because multiple people are telling her and maybe it's interesting and good and she should watch it and then bam, she sees her fiance.
- [65:45]
B
Yeah. That's why I think OP is the true friend who has her back.
- [65:50]
A
Yeah.
- [65:51]
B
Because it's kind of like you wouldn't want someone to walk around the corner and see something horrific no matter what. Like, it's like, oh, you don't want to this blah, blah. Like, I wouldn't even want her to watch it and have to go through it like that. That's terrible.
- [66:07]
A
So someone just says here, just to be clear, since OP wasn't. The dude was in a porn video banging a random chick with 999 other guys, apparently while already with his fiance. I'm pretty sure this is cut and dry. Lol. And OP does respond at it. People were saying I was very vague in the post, but I didn't know if saying the name of the documentary was against the rules. And I didn't want to give too much information away for my friend's sake. I'll edit the post later when I've gotten some sleep and my anxiety isn't as bad. He was a part of the 1000 Bonnie Blue lineup in January. They got engaged on Christmas Day, and my friend would have found out around January she was pregnant. She didn't tell us until she was three months pregnant.
- [66:48]
B
Dang. And how old is the post?
- [66:50]
A
Did you say post is?
- [66:53]
B
Because she's. It's eight months later, Right.
- [66:55]
A
The. I mean, the post is from August 3rd, just a couple days ago.
- [67:01]
B
So like. So the. The. He was in line at this thing doing this.
- [67:06]
A
Literally got engaged a week. Bonnie Blue got his girlfriend pregnant. Same. Same week, maybe? Could have been same same weekend. Dang.
- [67:16]
B
And it's been that long. Wow. Because I guess they had to make this documentary or porn video or whatever it is. I can't really tell at this point. I didn't even know there was a documentary, but it took time to make that, and now it came out. And that's why I wonder who noticed first. One of the friends.
- [67:36]
A
I like, want to watch it now to see, like, how recognizable people are. Like, I'm so curious. Like, I'm gonna find him in it. I'm gonna verify the tattoos exist. We're gonna have to watch it.
- [67:45]
B
I'm not gonna tattoos.
- [67:46]
A
But I'm like, oh, I don't wanna engage with that. Someone does go. Not the asshole. But I gotta ask. Was he in a porno or are pornos now being called documentaries?
- [67:56]
B
Right.
- [67:56]
A
The Bonnie Blue documentary. It's basically a porno. We literally thought it was going to show a human side to her or anything else than whatever that documentary was. Yeah, okay. And people are just like, yeah, I was expecting to see some human side of it, like, kind of more analyzed, like, why she did it. But yeah, I guess it's literally just that. I don't know. Matter of fact, I don't know. I wonder. I'm like, can I find a picture of the guy with tattoos without watching it? I'm just like, how recognizable were the tattoos that, like, literally that's how you found out? I'm just. I'm so curious. But that's besides the point because you know why?
- [68:40]
B
Huh?
- [68:41]
A
We have an update.
- [68:43]
B
Okay.
- [68:44]
A
Just a baby one. Oh.
- [68:45]
B
Can I say what I would have done? What I would have put on? I would have said, hey, glad you're home. All my friends have been telling me about this. We gotta sit down and watch this and see how he reacts. You would've been like, no, that is gold.
- [69:00]
A
No, not into it.
- [69:01]
B
That is gold.
- [69:03]
A
The only update. My friend's fiance wasn't the only one of our partners to do the lineup. My boyfriend of three years was one. So another friend's husband, two hours ago, he posted screenshots of a group chat and photographic receipts no one could deny.
- [69:23]
B
So. Oh, my God. It's all them. They're all going through it together.
- [69:27]
A
What?
- [69:29]
B
Hey, guys, I got an idea of what we should go do.
- [69:32]
A
I have to. My friend's fiance wasn't the only one of our partners to do the lineup. My boyfriend of three years was one, so was another friend's husband. Your whole. Are they.
- [69:48]
B
What? Yep.
- [69:51]
A
He posted screenshots of a group chat and photographic receipts no one could deny. Other men in relationships are involved. He said in the caption, quote, I wasn't the only one there. Tags me. Maybe check your own man before coming from my relationship tags five other women. He is going out. If he's going down, he's taken everyone out with him.
- [70:16]
B
Yep.
- [70:17]
A
I'm not taking the blame alone and being seen as the bad guy. While tags the men did the same. There was a lot more said, but I stopped reading and just deleted my social media account and then blocked my now ex. I don't want to hear his explanation. I feel so humiliated and physically sick. I don't know how I'm going to face the co workers or clients at work tomorrow. I wish I could just disappear. My phone is going crazy so I'm going to turn it off, go for a long shower and then see if I can get any sleep for what I'm sure will be hell tomorrow.
- [70:51]
B
Tough to lose a three year relationship. Yes. But you are on the good side of this. You didn't go cheat. There's not much people can say. How, how, how much can people really wrong you and make you feel embarrassed for your partner going and doing this? You don't control them. You don't have control over that. Yeah, people are gonna be like, oh my God, like can you believe this? But it'll die out. You just gotta get through it. I think the worst part is that you lost the three year relationship, but the best part is that you lost the three year relationship with someone that is not your person. So it's like, yeah, I get the shock and you know, the humiliation you must feel, but I really don't think in the end you have anything to be ashamed about because you did nothing wrong. But wow, did not see that coming. You thought you were just helping out a friend and meanwhile it's all you. You kind of helped the whole circle of gals here.
- [71:54]
A
It's insane. It's absolutely insane because you had the.
- [71:57]
B
Guts to actually say something.
- [71:59]
A
Yeah. And then in turn you found out who you were actually with. Which like, does this suck? Is it painful? It's horrendous. It's so hard. It's miserable, brutal, heartbreaking.
- [72:10]
B
Three years later.
- [72:11]
A
Three years, a long time. But thank God you found out before you got married. Now you can go get yourself tested. Like, yeah, it's just insane. So we do have a little bit of a note here. Again, people are just like, how does this work? So these men go into a room where there are five cameras all set up to record. And thought a balaclava like a ski mask would prevent positive id along with a Caveat, they had to agree and allow themselves to be filmed because it was going to be public. If you want a brief thing about this, blah, blah, blah. To really sum it up, how this is for those that don't want to click the link. Seven men ruined their relationship for 45 seconds of sex. They got to stick it in, pump a few times and then leave. And if you read the article, it's from the tab titled the niche logistic details of how Bonnie Blue managed to sleep with 1,057 men in 12 hours.
- [73:05]
B
Didn't even quit at a thousand.
- [73:07]
A
What is the math on that? How many?
- [73:10]
B
It's probably about 30.
- [73:11]
A
What is it like one a minute?
- [73:12]
B
It's a little less.
- [73:15]
A
What?
- [73:16]
B
Probably closer. It's probably the 30 to 45 seconds.
- [73:19]
A
12 hours times 60 minutes an hour. 720 minutes divided by 1057 men.
- [73:26]
B
Yeah, it's like 40ish.
- [73:29]
A
60.68 of a minute.
- [73:31]
B
Which is. Yeah.
- [73:32]
A
So it's, you know, it's 40 seconds a person.
- [73:34]
B
Ish.
- [73:35]
A
Yeah, 40 seconds a person.
- [73:37]
B
But not even like you gotta think about, you know. See, I also don't understand why anyone would want to do this. Because you're here. There's a line of guys behind you because you can't take a lot of time switching not to get graphic.
- [73:51]
A
But you've got to be efficient.
- [73:52]
B
The transition's gotta be pretty quick. So you're talking less than that. And in front of five cameras with five people standing around operating those cameras and a bunch of dudes in line getting ready behind you. And you were just in line watching this happen. Does that really get you going? Are you really like, wow, I love all these guys watching me. And I just watched like 50 people in front of me.
- [74:18]
A
I think it's just a flex. Like I think it's a. She's one of the biggest, only fans, creators. Like I think it's just a flex. Like this is kind of how it went. Like. She shared her location live in London and handed out free ski masks and condoms. She invited people on Twitter. Bring your friends, your family, your neighbors. She shared her location throughout the day and posted updates about how many men were in the queue. The event required 16 members of staff. There was a complex one way system floor plan to get so many men to her. A whole floor was turned into a nightclub so people wouldn't get bored waiting. Didn't use a bed. They could sleep with her alone or choose to join a group of five.
- [75:02]
B
What? Didn't use a. Are you not using Some sort of bed like thing.
- [75:09]
A
I don't know. I've already learned too much. Wow.
- [75:15]
B
What are you on the. On the floor?
- [75:18]
A
Maybe a massage table? I was envisioning a massage table. Easy to clean.
- [75:22]
B
I. You don't need to. Whatever this is, you don't need cleaning. Just throw it away. You know what I'm saying? Like use a bed. I don't know. It's not the point.
- [75:31]
A
It's not the point. This post is now eight days old. We don't have any other comments or updates since then. But I'm so sorry you're going through this op like this would be. This would be devastating to find out about a long term partner and someone you just loved so deeply. I mean, three years is a decent chunk of change.
- [75:57]
B
Gotta say though, this one goes into the record books. I mean, from start to finish, you find your super pregnant friend's husband or fiance doing this. Then you find out the whole circle's.
- [76:12]
A
And I mean multiple guys. Wow. Multiple of your friend group. At least you can kind of go through it together like that.
- [76:21]
B
You can all go support her now. Everyone can go over for movie night.
- [76:24]
A
I mean, OP needs help too, but yeah, I mean the other one's probably.
- [76:28]
B
Like mutually do this together. Especially with eight months long. This is actually. This is good because ev. The. Yes, it sucks, but this is actually a very good situation because you. You all found out. Hopefully there's no, you know, none of that going on.
- [76:42]
A
I mean, it sounds like they used condoms. I mean, God, you hope everything worked and nothing broke and yay all around. But like I think someone said in the comments, like, get tested because if he cheated on you with Bonnie Blue and a thousand dudes, like this probably isn't the first time. Like you don't go from loving, supportive partner, having a baby with your fiance to I'm gonna go sleep with Bonnie Blue.
- [77:07]
B
Unless some people just did it because it was that easy.
- [77:10]
A
I mean, it doesn't sound easy. Sounds like there was a lot of people waiting in the. In the queue.
- [77:14]
B
Right? But I'm saying the accessibility was.
- [77:18]
A
This is crazy. It is 1057 people in a day.
- [77:23]
B
What's up? Why the extra 57? All right. Okay.
- [77:25]
A
Really? I don't know how to get the record, I guess.
- [77:29]
B
Okay. Yep.
- [77:31]
A
Moving along. This episode is brought to you by JCPenney. Yes, JCPenney. And if you've been there recently, you know it's the place to go for jaw dropping looks at brag worthy prices. They've got something special for every style and budget. Not to mention rewards and deals that make finding those hidden gems even sweeter. If you already shop JCPenney, you're already in on the secret. But if. If not, it's time to ask. Wait, am I sleeping on JCPenney? Shop jcpenney.com yes, JCPenney. You actually found this one last night. You were reading it to me and I'm like, oh my God, gotta put it in. Yeah, this is turning into a little bit of a cheating episode. Kind of. It's like a lot of interwoven themes today. Weddings, cheating, embarrassment, obviously.
- [78:21]
B
Trust always.
- [78:23]
A
Trust always. Communication.
- [78:25]
B
Yes.
- [78:26]
A
So this one is coming from true off my chest three days old. It is titled, My husband is leaving me for a younger woman and all I can think about is the house decor. I made this account because my main one has my friends on it and I'm way too embarrassed to be known as the cheated on wife. I'm 34, female, married for seven years to my husband, 41, male, together for 10. I love my husband and always thought he felt the same about me. We built a life together. Eight years ago. He had severe anxiety and couldn't sleep. So I would stay up with him, holding his hands and doing breathing exercises until he could finally rest. I'd go to work exhausted. I helped him find a therapist. I encouraged him to grow in his career, even though he was afraid. Six years ago, I quit my job to take care of his mom, who had cancer, because he had the potential to earn more than me. While I was job hunting again, I got pregnant and he suggested I stay home to take care of him and our daughter. So I did. I cared for him and I loved him. In December, he got a promotion, which meant more hours. I gave birth to our daughter in March. I went through a phase where I felt horrible, fat, ugly, and it was just me and the baby at home. He barely talked to me, always said he was tired and that I wouldn't understand what he had to say. If it wasn't for my mom staying on video calls with me, I think I would have felt completely abandoned. I've been suggesting couples therapy since June. He kept saying everything was fine. Now I feel like I'm nothing more than a mother. I used to read, study, be interesting. I wasn't sexually frustrated or insecure back then. I used to have conversations about politics, music, books, art. I decorate our house myself with my own savings, and it's everything I ever dreamed of. I love my house. The colors, the furniture, my kitchen. It took me years to make it exactly how I wanted. I have the garden I always dreamed of, a vegetable patch I adore, and a hanging chair where I love to sit with my baby. Last week he came home later than usual and I was happy to see him. I was in the living room playing with our daughters. He asked the elder one to go to her room. He seemed like he had been drinking and then said, I love you so much, but I don't want to be with you anymore. He told me I wasn't the person he fell in love with anymore. He said he was in love with a girl from work and that she was everything he'd ever dreamed of and that he needed to give himself the chance to live that love without guilt. Yes, he cheated on me with a 22 year old. When I finally managed to speak, the only thing that came out was quote. But what about my home decor? At some point I picked up my baby and started shouting things like quote. I put time into this house. I did everything it needed. This house is mine. We argued because apparently I didn't value his suffering enough. I don't know why I kept talking about the house. I guess I'm disposable. I'm 34 with a four month baby and a four year old daughter. I don't have a job. I'm going to lose my dream home. I feel ugly, fat. And he told me he's not attracted to me anymore because I gained too much weight during my last pregnancy. That's how this post ends.
- [81:47]
B
Abrupt ending. Abrupt. What I. What I thought. Reading this and hearing it now too, is it. We set this up, you know, you did everything right. You were the best teammate someone could ask for. You know, you.
- [82:07]
A
You literally took care of his mom.
- [82:09]
B
You did that.
- [82:09]
A
She was sick.
- [82:10]
B
You went above and beyond as a partner. Which, you know, you should. You should do when you're with someone for the long run. You know, we talk about seasons where someone needs more than the other and I mean, you stepped up in ways that people wouldn't even expect. You did everything right. You stayed home when it made sense. All I heard in this whole post was how you were a great partner. And then all we hear about him is, yeah, he's good at going to work and making the money. But there's no mention of what he is as a partner. It started to go downhill and she suggested couples counseling. Obviously was met with resistance. And it all culminates to this. Well, I'm gonna leave you for the 22 year old at work. And not to mention you're decently younger than him to begin with. And now we're gonna go for someone that's.
- [83:07]
A
Yeah.
- [83:07]
B
So regardless of what his life and his wants, whatever, he's irrelevant to me in this for you.
- [83:14]
A
I mean, this is gonna be a pattern for me.
- [83:15]
B
I love your response because you were the one who decided to stay home. You decide to be the one that's going to be there. And yeah, maybe it was a team decision, but you're the one that's really doing it. You're being the kick ass stay at home mom. Right. You then went out and made, if you're going to spend that much time in this place, you're going to make it perfect for you. And I love that. And yes, you said it's with all your own money. So I would have the same concerns because it feels like a little bit that this wasn't incredibly shocking. It feels like you had some sense that things were obviously going downhill.
- [84:00]
A
Yeah, you could feel it.
- [84:02]
B
You know, it does kind of hit me where you say, and I was happy to see him, like he was coming home. I was playing with the girls. Because you're still clinging on to this, this hope that this will turn into that perfect family unit and that, you know, you will have the true power.
- [84:18]
A
To where you were.
- [84:20]
B
But it just.
- [84:22]
A
Honestly, I love her response. I love that you didn't get upset about him because if he's willing to cheat after you guys have been together for 10 years, you've made all these sacrifices, so many sacrifices, and like to have a baby and be so alone and just feel utterly abandoned because your partner won't even talk to you. So you're like, thank God I had my mom to FaceTime. But like, I used to be this whole person. And you, you do hear that a lot from moms, especially, you know, stay at home moms that are kind of in their little bubble in their home with their kids. I used to read, I used to be interesting. I used to have a life. And you still kind of see where like the person who is going out and working, they get to remain that person. They have a job, they have interests, they have all of these things. And I love that for someone who so clearly does not value her, does not love her in the same way she loves him, you know, making all these sacrifices. I love that she's like, what about my house? This is my house.
- [85:31]
B
It's not even the house. It's the decor. And that leads me.
- [85:34]
A
It's everything in it. It's everything. And I love that.
- [85:38]
B
Yes. And that leads me to. Let's just not go after the decor, all right?
- [85:44]
A
No, girl, let's go for everything. Let's get the bag.
- [85:46]
B
Let's go for everything. Because you made the sacrifice and because you did, you don't have that financial stability that he does. Because he's built the career, he's built up to the promotions that you talked about.
- [86:02]
A
The job he's in because of your.
- [86:04]
B
Support, you have a huge part in. And that's why, you know, these divorce, all of these situations get very complicated, but for a reason. Because it needs to be equitable at the end of the day. And I think you go for it. Also, the line about, she's everything I've ever wanted.
- [86:27]
A
She's 22.
- [86:29]
B
You are at such different late stages.
- [86:31]
A
You're 41.
- [86:32]
B
She probably doesn't even really know fully who she is yet. And you think she's.
- [86:37]
A
Does a 22 year old want to be a stepmom to a 4 month old baby and a 4 year old sir? This is a fantasy. She probably wants a sugar daddy in a new Dior bag. Like, what are you doing?
- [86:51]
B
I mean, regardless, the relationship's done, you know, I mean, that's like.
- [86:54]
A
No, it is.
- [86:55]
B
He's a lost cause. Who. Whatever happens with him and the 22 year old, it just seems like it's not good. It's. It's probably not gonna last.
- [87:03]
A
No.
- [87:03]
B
So the reality is, look at what's in front of you, not just the decor. Come on, let's go for everything.
- [87:11]
A
It is. It is everything. Go for as much as you can get. I know a lot of people are gonna be like, well, she doesn't need to be a gold digger. Like, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, no, like, this is her life raft. Like, the plane is going down. That's why I love this response. Like, she can see it. The plane is going down. We've lost both engines. There's no getting engines back. Engines are out with a 22 year old. So what matters at this point? My home, my life raft. Where's the life raft? At this point, I need to secure my oxygen mask before I can assist in helping others. Like, she is getting her oxygen mask. And like, I would be reeling too, because when you felt so utterly alone and your home is your safe space. It's this, this little sanctuary you've built. You and your little babies and your garden and your swing. That is your peace. And to have your only peace ripped from you, I would be going nuclear. I would not Leave that house. Call me a squatter because I would not leave ever. Ever. Doors, locks, all getting changed. This is my house.
- [88:15]
B
You don't have to leave.
- [88:16]
A
Go move in with your 22 year old.
- [88:17]
B
Well, yes, it gets. That's where. Get the lawyer, get everything moving. Because you ain't losing your. You're not losing your decor. Okay.
- [88:28]
A
No. Every candlestick is yours. Top comment. I think that your first reaction being about your home decoration tells you everything that you need to know. Your relationship with him was dead and now you can move on to better things. He doesn't deserve you or the lovely home you've created. I think the next comment down was like, why do you only care about your home? Why don't you care about your relationship? And someone goes, because it's the only thing in her life that makes her happy. Aside from her daughters. She has the home of her dreams, which is obviously worth more than her soon to be ex husband.
- [89:01]
B
Yeah.
- [89:02]
A
And everyone's like, to be honest, I feel the same in her shoes. The home isn't the one that abandoned her and then cheated with someone nearly half his age. So I kind of understand why that's upsetting her the most. Mm, no, I'd be. I'd be going nuclear. My house. Get out. So we do have some edits. Okay, Edit. I'm going to talk with his mom and brother about the divorce today. I'm starting with them because they're close to me. And his brother went through a divorce over infidelity early last year. Also, his mom is very attached to me for obvious reasons. I was there for her during the worst part of her life. And his brother and I are also very close. I also texted my mom and she's coming here to stay with me and the girls. I hope she gets the visa to visit. And my dad, who's American, will be coming to my state in two weeks. Edit number two. I talked to his brother about the affair and him leaving. He told me to find a lawyer. The same thing you all said. Now we're talking to a few lawyers today. I accepted the help because I have the girls with me, so it's hard to do everything alone.
- [90:10]
B
Yeah.
- [90:11]
A
I love that she has their support.
- [90:15]
B
Yeah.
- [90:15]
A
And that is so true about the mom. Like, she helped take care of the mom when she was going through cancer.
- [90:22]
B
Probably more than her son did.
- [90:24]
A
Of course she's going to be appreciative and more attached to her for obvious reasons. As Op put it. Like, I hope, I hope, hope, hope. We keep getting updates on this one.
- [90:38]
B
Next update. I got the house, I have my decor, me and the. The daughters are so happy. I don't. It was his daughter or daughters. Was there two.
- [90:49]
A
Two.
- [90:49]
B
Two.
- [90:50]
A
Four year old and four month old.
- [90:51]
B
I mean the daughters are thriving. Ex husband, you know, lasted with the 22 year old for three weeks. He's now begging to come back. He wants his old life back.
- [91:04]
A
Yeah, I know. And he'll get there. He'll realize he messed up. I feel like a lot of people that end up in those situations do eventually realized they made a mistake.
- [91:13]
B
It just depends if they're too prideful to say anything.
- [91:15]
A
Exactly. But even when they're prideful, there are signs. It might be one year, it might be 15 years, but it eventually bites him in the ass. Opie does have a couple other comments here. I spoke with three lawyers today for emergency consults and tomorrow we're seeing two more. But I liked one lawyer. She was my brother in law's attorney and also represented another friend of mine who went through a really tough divorce.
- [91:40]
B
There you go. There's people out there to support you and get you through this.
- [91:46]
A
He slept in the guest room. Talking about her husband. Ex husband. I don't think she has been in the house. From what he said and from what I saw on Instagram, she has roommates. About three from the looks of it. And what group of 22 to 23 year old girls would want to have a 41 year old guy staying at their place?
- [92:07]
B
Dude, it just puts it in perspective. Like she's just done with college. She's still living with roommates, probably from college. Thinking about me at 22, man, you are so far from anything like this. This is just a thing for her.
- [92:27]
A
I know. And when you see more of her comments like in the post, she didn't really share about a lot like of details. Yeah, but people are like, how do you have a four month old if like you have a dead bedroom? People are just like going so weird in the comments. And she's like, do you think my daughter was made with a finger? We used to have sex until he didn't want to anymore. I had the postpartum period because it's necessary. But in June when I bought a nice lingerie set, he called me a piglet because I'm 33 pounds heavier.
- [92:59]
B
Okay.
- [92:59]
A
Which is also the average weight when you have a child. I think it's actually £34. So you're under the average. My gal.
- [93:07]
B
Yeah. So when that shit's happening, I'd be Long checked out too. I can't believe it shows the quality of a person she is because she even said, I was excited to see him even after all of that.
- [93:22]
A
I know. Well, there's a comment here that like, does make me really, really sad for op like, just given the current tensions in our country with ICE and how scary this whole situation is, like, on top of it. I've been living in the US for 16 years, but I'm from South America. Honestly, I'm scared even though I'm here legally. And like, I think that's what's so hard. It's like everyone's like, well, like, if you came here legally. And it's like ICE is taking people that have green cards. ICE is detaining legal citizens for weeks. There's a person in Minnesota right now that ICE detained two weeks ago and the courts have ordered them to release her back to her two little girls, two children, and she's not released yet. Like, it is such a scary, volatile time and the laws are not being followed by as they should be. Due process is being violated. And so this is really scary, especially when you have a four month old and a four year old involved.
- [94:26]
B
Yeah. It honestly feels like we're, you know, Great Britain when the people broke off and went to the US to get away from all the crazy shit. That's what it's starting to feel like. It's like, well, we've just created our own bullshit.
- [94:40]
A
I just don't get what's happening.
- [94:42]
B
I think that no matter what, you go and you get the lawyer, you go through the whole process and get your life back, truly your life back. Get it for yourself and then eventually down the road you'll find someone who really, truly appreciates you.
- [95:02]
A
Yeah. And OP is starting to get on board. Like, people are like, why don't you try to lose the weight? And Opie is like, try getting back to normal weight after being a primary caregiver for two children after a difficult pregnancy and only four months since the baby was born. I'm very healthy, you know, it's not healthy. The 600 calorie diet I was doing to try to lose weight and passing out. There's nothing lazy about taking care of a child alone. The people who help me are his brother and his mother because he's never home. I can't go to the gym, I can't do restrictive diets because breastfeeding requires me to eat properly. He may not be attracted to me anymore, but I know no 22 year old girl will Want him when his show off lifestyle is cut down due to alimony and child support.
- [95:40]
B
There you go.
- [95:43]
A
Yes.
- [95:43]
B
Are they saying, lose the weight to get him back?
- [95:46]
A
People are like, why are you lazy? Lose the weight. Literally.
- [95:48]
B
Like, oh, my God.
- [95:51]
A
Insane. Insane. She just had a baby. OP goes like, I had this intrusive thought yesterday. He actually looked kind of hot taking care of my baby. But then I snapped back to reality and reminded myself I can't make any wrong moves until the divorce is finalized. I'm also feeling a bit starved for affection, which is clouding my judgment.
- [96:11]
B
Dang.
- [96:11]
A
Yeah.
- [96:12]
B
Yeah. Let's not go down that path.
- [96:14]
A
Someone said such a stupid comment. I'm not even gonna read the first half. She responds to it. And Op is like, he can have the child support reviewed if he keeps the kids 50% of the time, but I highly doubt he'll do that. He doesn't like hearing our baby cry, and he's always asking me to tell our toddler to be quieter. Yeah, get that bag, girl. Get that bag. Op has been commenting. As of a day ago, I read basically all of them. But let's keep our eyes peeled for an update on this one, because I really want to make sure she's good. But I got one last one for us.
- [96:51]
B
Okay, the grand finale. I need to find my drum.
- [96:55]
A
It's in the other room. It's in the office over there with the sticks.
- [96:59]
B
Sticks?
- [97:00]
A
Yeah. I'm gonna give you a choice on this one.
- [97:02]
B
Okay?
- [97:03]
A
Two very different problems. Okay? Wife, 35, female, doesn't want me, 39, male, making a cake for our daughter's daycare birthday party or from our very own Too hotake subreddit. I will add, I accidentally sent my sister's husband to the ER after he jumped out at me as a joke while I was holding a kitchen knife. Now my family is divided, and I don't know how to fix this.
- [97:30]
B
Yep, 100%. You kidding?
- [97:33]
A
We didn't need a coin flip for that one.
- [97:35]
B
Don't need no cake. Let's go to the cake one.
- [97:38]
A
Cake. One is juicy, though. Don't sell it.
- [97:40]
B
I. I don't doubt it is, but yeah.
- [97:43]
A
Okay. This happened three nights ago, and I still feel sick to my stomach. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't stop replaying it in my head. I've always been a pretty jumpy person. I survived a home invasion five years ago, and ever since, I've had a severe startle response. My therapist and close friends know this, but I don't talk about it much. With my extended family, I try to avoid situations that could trigger me My sister, 33, female, is married to a guy, 35, male, who thinks of himself as the funny one in the family. He loves pranks, jump scares, and filming reactions for social media. I've told him before that I hate being startled, but he always seems to brush it off with come on, it's just a joke. I've laughed it off at times just to avoid making things awkward, but inside, my heart always races and I feel this horrible, icy rush through my body. Three nights ago, my sister invited me over for dinner. She told me she'd be running late from work, but her husband would be home. I figured we'd just hang out until she got back. I offered to make dinner so I'd be ready when she arrived. I was in the kitchen chopping vegetables when the lights suddenly cut out. Total darkness. I froze. My chest tightened instantly. Then, from somewhere behind me, I heard fast footsteps. Before I could even turn around, something lunged out of the pantry, screaming. I reacted. Before I could think. My hand jerked, the knife slipped, and the next thing I knew he was on the floor, holding his side, screaming in pain. I dropped the knife and scrambled to turn on the light. It was him. My sister's husband. There was blood spreading across his shirt. I remember yelling his name and pressing my hands over the wound while fumbling for my phone to call 911. The paramedics said the cut was deep but missed any major organs. He needed stitches and a night in the hospital for observation. The doctor said he'd recover physically, but my sister's face when she arrived at the ER is burned into my brain. Shock. Then anger. She didn't even look at me when she said, you could have killed him. Half my family says it was an accident and that he was stupid for jumping out at me while I had a knife in my hand. The other half says I overreacted, that I should have, quote, known it was just him, and that this is exactly why they, quote, don't trust me around sharp things. I can't believe I'm being talked about like I'm some kind of danger when I was literally attacked in my own home years ago. Now my sister won't answer my calls, and her husband from his hospital bed texted me, quote, you ruined the joke. I don't even know how to respond to that. My therapist says it's not my fault, but I feel this crushing guilt, like I've destroyed my relationship with my sister forever. Do I owe him an apology for injuring him even though he caused the situation? Or should I stand my ground and make it clear that his prank could have ended much worse? How do I fix this without compromising my own safety and boundaries?
- [100:53]
B
I think he got lucky because he finally got what was coming to him. Are you kidding me?
- [101:00]
A
You're so embarrassing. You're gonna attack a woman, shut off the lights when she's holding a knife chopping vegetables?
- [101:08]
B
If this had happened to me, I don't think we're talking about a knife slip. Oh, it cut you situation. Especially if I've been through a house invasion before.
- [101:19]
A
I mean, this is just, this is self defense. This is a normal reaction. Even if you're holding the knife and you just turn your body to face where the sound is coming from, they run right in. They run right into you. Like, he shut off the lights. How are you going to see? It's not like, oh, the lights are off. Put down my knife. Hands up. Okay, freeze. Like, and then someone's coming screaming at you.
- [101:41]
B
I. I'm like struggling.
- [101:43]
A
I wouldn't have assumed it was him. I wouldn't have assumed someone is so dumb. I would have done the same thing, honestly, because it's already in your hand.
- [101:52]
B
And it's probably pretty goddamn dark. Okay. We're talking suns down.
- [101:58]
A
Yeah. I mean, it also takes a second for your eyes to adjust.
- [102:02]
B
Like, I mean, how stupid do you have to be? It's like, oh, if I go step off the cliff, I'm gonna fall down it. Oh, if I attack someone that's cutting up in the pitch black dark, they have a huge knife in their hand. I could get cut. I feel like his text to her, you ruined the joke. I don't think he is blaming her because that to me says, like, you ruined the joke. Like, not. It doesn't feel serious. Like, you almost killed me. You almost did this.
- [102:37]
A
That is true.
- [102:38]
B
I feel like he's like, he kind.
- [102:39]
A
Of recognizes big of an idiot, but also still like, but kind of blaming her for ruining his joke. Like, to me, it actually kind of feels serious. You ruined the joke.
- [102:50]
B
Eh?
- [102:51]
A
You think he's joking still?
- [102:52]
B
When it's compared with how his wife is reacting.
- [102:55]
A
Yeah, that's true.
- [102:56]
B
And also, come on. I get. Yes, it turned into a very dangerous situation. But I could justify the wife's reaction if she had pranked him and he accidentally got cut.
- [103:09]
A
Yeah.
- [103:09]
B
If he was the one doing the vegetables, cutting up stuff and she jumped out and popped and he somehow slipped and cut himself.
- [103:16]
A
Yeah.
- [103:17]
B
Reaction justified. But because he was the one to turn off the lights, especially with the context of the home invasion, and then do this. Yo, what planet are you living on? I get you're afraid for your husband, and it was scary, but he did it to himself.
- [103:35]
A
Well, and I think that's the thing about us in our relationship. Like, if this were me and you in this, like, I wouldn't be with a princess.
- [103:42]
B
It'd be a different planet, like, a different universe.
- [103:44]
A
Obviously, I'd get to the hospital. My first reaction was like, oh, my God, Thank God you're okay. Like, wow, that was. That was scary. Don't be dumbass again. Don't do that again. Don't ever. Don't ever. Don't do that again. And then, like, I don't know. Like, I feel like for me, I. I would actually probably be a. Apologizing to my sister to be like, I'm so sorry. Like, thank God it wasn't worse. Like, good thing you didn't kill him.
- [104:08]
B
Like, I know what you've been through. I don't know why he would ever do this.
- [104:11]
A
Exactly. And as the sister, you need to put your foot down with your husband and say, hey, my sister is not a target. Like, and she's. Thank her again. Don't jump. Scare her again. Like, she's been through something really traumatic. It's been very clear. Don't. And I think I'm most sad in this by op being like, I feel so guilty. I maybe ruined the relationship with my sister.
- [104:37]
B
That's on them. That's on them.
- [104:39]
A
But that is so sad. Like, that's really heartbreaking because this is not your fault. This is such an accident, one that he put you in that never should have happened. And if your sister can't see the reality of this situation and see it for what it is, that's not your fault. Like, it's incredibly sad, but it's not your fault. And you don't deserve to be blamed. And I honestly would be more open with other family members to be like, I was attacked in my own home. I don't talk about it. I try to avoid situations. That's what happened. Like, anyone that's shaming you, saying you overreacted, and that's why we don't trust you around sharp things. They would know exactly why. Like, terrorize them back, make them regret saying that. And I think if you're comfortable, of course, it's not something you have to do. But, like, I do think people need to be put in their place with information sometimes. And this could be one of those times. This could also prevent further issues. And you can very clearly then set the boundary once you give that information. Just so you all know, I was attacked in my home. It is a boundary for me. I don't want to be scared. Do not scare me or I will not talk to you again. Lay the boundary down. Reiterate it with the brother in law and if he does it again, you don't want to be around him, which unfortunately might make your sister collateral damage. You might not have a good relationship with her anymore, but it's worth it for your own mental health safety, your therapy journey and PTSD likely.
- [106:13]
B
Like, I feel like there's no way that her sister and her sister's husband don't know about the home invasion. That's not something you just keep to yourself with your family. I think they very clearly know what happened and I would think that they would know that that's probably one of the most traumatic things that she could have ever been through. And he essentially went and recreated the exact same situation. Yeah, I think this is karma. Listen. Yeah, she put her foot down and told him very clearly in the past, I'm not comfortable with this. Please don't do this to me or around me. He did it in the worst possible way, maybe. You cannot call that a joke. That is recreating someone's trauma, putting them back in that exact situation. What do you expect? You got lucky that it ended up this way. This was karma coming to tell you. Stop messing around. This isn't a joke. It's never been a joke. You can't keep explaining all these dumbass things away by calling them a joke. It's ridiculous. So you got lucky, but you had it coming to you.
- [107:33]
A
Top comment on this one. If this is real, then your family is fucking stupid. Next comment. They quote the brother in law. You ruined the joke. Nah, bro, you ruined your own spleen. And OP does reply to the top one. Yeah, it's been really eye opening seeing who thinks this was just harmless fun. I'm going to go see if there's any other comments from op. No update on the post yet. See if there's anything else. Opie goes, it's common sense not to startle someone holding a knife. Yet somehow I'm the one being treated like I overreacted. OP goes, it really did feel like I was reliving a break in and my body just reacted. I wish more people in my family understood that. I've told him before that I hate being startled and he still thought it would be funny. I wish people would understand that jokes like that can have real consequences. Exactly.
- [108:29]
B
I'll buy you the coke.
- [108:31]
A
Ditto. Yeah, ditto, right? No. Jinx. Oh, my God. I haven't said that in so long. I used to say it all the time. That's how I got on this episode of Two Hot Takes. I feel like it turned into like a that's not funny episode. Like, that's not funny. Like, I don't know, just jokes. Bad jokes. Bad jokes, this whole thing. Bad jokes. Embarrassing.
- [108:58]
B
I'm fired up, man.
- [108:59]
A
Bad jokes. I know. 11:11. Make a wish.
- [109:03]
B
11:11Pm oh, if I was the one holding that. Who.
- [109:07]
A
Easy. Oh, my God, dude.
- [109:11]
B
I am so. It's like every night we set the alarm system and I'm like, oh, my God. It's like the last thing on earth would be for that alarm to go off in the middle of night. It's just. It's such a fear. You. You have it for peace of mind, but it. Right, because it would alert you. But at the same time, that would be the worst thing ever. So I'm just like, that's why we.
- [109:39]
A
We got guns.
- [109:41]
B
If I'm standing there with a knife and the lights go out and something's.
- [109:44]
A
Running towards me, no, it's my biggest fear.
- [109:46]
B
There is not any ounce of me that's thinking, could be a prank. Could be.
- [109:53]
A
No, that would be my absolute last reaction.
- [109:57]
B
Dude, it's karma. I'm telling that last one's got me fired up.
- [110:00]
A
Yeah, Justin, I'm ready to go. He did.
- [110:02]
B
I'm ready to go.
- [110:04]
A
Justin will be on one of August bonus episodes on Patreon this month. Lauren is on two, so it's gonna be a good month. Over on Patreon, the unhinged tier, our top tier, now gets three full bonus episodes a month. And I dropped the price down $5, so it's. It feels like a pretty good deal. And there's also a bunch of free stories, a free mini episode from a couple months ago. Lot of free content as well. And, like, I just always put stuff out to the community about upcoming episodes. So come on over. Even if you, you know, don't have it in your budget, come on over. It's a amazing community. There's so much fun stuff and, like, I love seeing everyone chat and just keep connected and share their stories and it's a really great place for you. If you have a personal write in that you have a question or you're like, I just need some support or I need to know if I'm the asshole. There's so many different chats, especially once you are on a tier. Like the unhinged tier has a very private small chat for you to go and ask your problems. And I just think it's a great place to turn to with people that are going to be unbiased and supportive and probably really similar to you. So if you need a little extra support right now, whatever you're going through and you don't want to put it on Reddit, two outtakes. Patreon is a good spot.
- [111:24]
B
And if you've never done it, you get all prior content, not just the 3 bonus this month you get everything all the way back, everything. So if you've never done it, we should add up how many it would be.
- [111:37]
A
I literally was going through hard drives today. Cause I literally keep all my hard drives and I was going through them and I was like, I have made a lot of content.
- [111:45]
B
I mean, do you think there's a hundred bonus episodes?
- [111:48]
A
I know there's at this point, I think there's over 600 posts. But I mean bonus stories, bonus episodes. You know, we've shifted. We used to do bonus stories, now we're all bonus episodes on all the tiers. So it's really shifted what we're doing over there. So we're pumping out two outtakes, does seven full length episodes a month. It's a lot of content, so you don't want to miss it. So come on over to Patreon. It's a lot of fun. But other than that, that's all I got for you this episode. I've got some amazing guests coming up, but if there's anyone else you want to see, go tell them, go on their page and put go on too hot takes. Cause I'm telling you, I see some of your favorites that you comment when I ask for guests and I've asked a lot of them. So you guys, if there's someone you want to see go out, get in their comments and let me know. But it really helps if you spread the word about two hot takes and get the word out in their comments, their DMs. So thank you guys for doing that. Thank you for being here. Another episode, another week, another month. Our wedding's coming up. It's just crazy. It's gonna be crazy rest of the year. So really appreciate you all and appreciate any patience. If an episode is late here or there, it gets up eventually. But I love you guys. Until next time.
- [113:06]
B
Until next time.
- [113:07]
A
Bye.
- [113:08]
B
Bye.
- [113:22]
A
Sa.