Two Hot Takes – Ep. 231: "Bad Boundaries?!"
Date: August 28, 2025
Hosts: Morgan Absher & Lauren
Episode Overview
In this episode, Morgan and Lauren dive into a series of Reddit posts and listener stories that revolve around the complicated, often misunderstood topic of BOUNDARIES—especially where family, relationships, and friendships get messy. From aggressive in-law dynamics, wedding day disasters, family betrayals, to the fine line between playful and inappropriate in the workplace, the duo offers hot takes, compassion, humor, and real-world advice for handling situations where boundaries aren't respected. As always, the stories spark broader conversations about expectations, communication, and self-respect.
Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdowns
1. Intro: A Day of Overthinking and ADHD Woes
[00:00–03:45]
- Morgan and Lauren bond over mental health struggles, cycles, and the difficulty of keeping thoughts straight. Both are feeling frazzled and irritable, teeing up a theme of “bad boundaries” in both life and podcast.
"Boundaries should be basic for a lot of people, but they're not... Some boundaries you think would be common sense, but clearly, they're not."
— Morgan, [02:30]
2. Mother-in-law Pressures & Parenting Boundaries
[05:29–21:56] Reddit Story: MIL criticizes OP for not handling all childcare alone, offers “help” laced with guilt, and expects DIL to “suffer through” because “that’s what moms do.”
Discussion Highlights:
- Morgan and Lauren debate whether the OP overreacted by snapping at MIL.
- Acknowledgement of generational trauma and how some parents unconsciously repeat the cycles they resented.
- Advice: Reduce information-sharing with judgmental relatives; set firm boundaries; let the spouse (their child) handle parent issues.
- Importance of tone and phrasing in boundary-setting (“Thanks for offering to help, we’ll consider it” vs. escalation).
- Update: OP had an honest conversation with MIL, set boundaries, and saw improved understanding.
"She obviously is from a different time, and I find it so interesting that she would even continue this mentality when [her own MIL] shamed her for the same shit."
— Morgan, [10:38]
"Boundaries are about repetition and not letting her pull you into endless debates."
— Reddit commenter (read by Morgan), [15:34]
Memorable Moment:
- [19:47] Morgan: “Honestly, it was probably one of the best conversations I’ve ever had with her... Boundaries are set.”
3. Wedding Night Gone Wrong: Partner’s Drinking Disaster
[23:40–38:18] Reddit Story: Bride gets blackout-drunk at the afterparty; groom keeps partying, checking on her occasionally (she assures him she’ll “be back in 10”). Days later, bride is upset after seeing video footage.
Discussion Highlights:
- Hosts go back and forth—everyone kind of sucks, but OP did his best in a tough spot.
- Heavy concern for bride’s binge drinking: “That’s not safe, don’t do that,” and repeated comments about possible alcohol abuse.
- Discussion of guest/host responsibilities on wedding night and realistic expectations for caretaking.
- Question of physical safety vs. emotional support.
"If this was me, like, I was completely forgetting the fact that it was their wedding, and if that was me, I would literally expect that my husband would continue to entertain our guests."
— Lauren, [30:31]
"She sabotaged her own wedding day... You chose to take those shots, five shots, which is absurd."
— Morgan, [30:08]
Notable Quotes:
“I live in Wisconsin and that would be excessive. Even here. I’m Irish and even I find it excessive. I’m Australian and I’ve done it plenty of times. I’m in recovery now.”
— Reddit comment, read by Morgan, [36:12]
4. Family Betrayal: Fiance Kisses Twin Sister
[39:37–60:54] Reddit Story: During a family reunion, OP’s cousin claims to have seen OP’s fiancé kiss OP’s twin sister. OP investigates and gathers all involved for confrontation.
Discussion Highlights:
- Debate about the cousin’s credibility and the need for proof before making an accusation.
- The gravity of betrayal by a twin and a fiancée—hosts express empathy and anger.
- On confronting both: group confrontation exposes guilt instantly; cell phone review reveals ongoing flirting.
- Sudden, devastating “truth bomb.”
- Importance of support systems and the right to process grief privately.
"I couldn't keep holding it in... I got the four of us together and laid it all out... I could see the guilt flood over my sister."
— Reddit OP (read by Morgan), [50:13]
"You're that weak. You can't resist a little bit of temptation or someone stroking your ego and flirting with you a little bit."
— Morgan, [53:47]
"You are an idiot if you stay with him... You don’t know what she’s gonna do. Just... I’m getting really defensive of our little OP here."
— Morgan, [56:21]
5. Twin Exclusion: Homophobia at the Family Wedding
[61:05–69:18] Reddit Story: Gay twin is allowed to attend brother's wedding, but boyfriend is disinvited last-minute due to family fears of homophobia. Meanwhile, a friend’s same-sex partner is included.
Discussion Highlights:
- Outrage over thinly-veiled/hypocritical homophobia, shifting excuses, and gaslighting.
- Morgan and Lauren affirm OP’s right to hold the line: “You are not the asshole.”
- Discussion of double standards in social inclusion.
- Dad surprisingly supportive—silver lining amidst discrimination.
"You came out to your dad, got gaslit by your twin, got lied to by the fiancée, and still tried to make peace. You did more than enough. They chose drama, not you."
— Top Reddit comment (read by Morgan), [68:01]
6. Complex Grief & Resentment: “I Hate My Wife’s Dead Friend”
[70:42–74:16] Reddit Story: Man’s wife grieves for her long-time friend (Sally), who, in his view, was toxic and undermined his wife’s self-esteem. He quietly celebrates her departure but supports his wife through her pain.
Discussion Highlights:
- Nuanced take: It’s okay to hold conflicting emotions (resentment & support).
- Morgan highlights the need for the husband to set an internal boundary to not let his negative views of Sally taint his support.
"All of this is just a reminder that she is a better person than I am, and I'm lucky to have her."
— Reddit OP (read by Morgan), [74:16]
7. Group Dynamics & Excluding the “Copycat” Friend
[75:29–80:55] Reddit Story: Woman doesn’t invite a certain friend to her partner’s birthday trip after he expresses discomfort about her “envious” behavior (imitating, copying, and trying to date exes). Friend is hurt, claims she’s being kicked out of the group.
Discussion Highlights:
- Where is the line between flattery and creepy imitation?
- Importance of context for group vs. exclusive invitations.
- Advice: Soft honesty or “limited spots” excuse is fair; escalation to confrontation only if necessary.
- Some unease about the potential “Single White Female” undertones.
"You want to be me. You want to be me. Like, it's... a little scary."
— Morgan, [77:48]
8. Workplace Boundaries: “Work Wife” Drama During Pandemic
[82:35–94:11] Reddit Story: Woman overhears her fiancé on a work Zoom joking about “renewing vows” with his “work wife” after returning to office; after postponing their real wedding due to COVID, she feels humiliated and demands he publicly repudiate the joke. He refuses.
Discussion Highlights:
- The term “work wife/husband” is divisive: For some, lighthearted; for others, disrespectful, especially where real-life marriage is concerned.
- Hosts agree: She’s justified in hating the “work wife” term, but publicly announcing it on Zoom would be extreme and could hurt both partner and workplace relationships.
- Suggest using humor to set boundaries (“I’ve got a Mrs. at home now... can’t have two wives!”).
- Underlying issues: The fiancé’s lack of engagement in real wedding planning, possible red flags in relationship.
- Boundaries in workplaces are real; casual jokes can cross lines.
"Just ask him to stop joking around... Forcing him to tell everyone... is going to make a mountain out of a molehill and give everyone the impression that you're a difficult person."
— Top Reddit comment (read by Morgan), [89:13]
Notable Quotes
- Morgan: "Boundaries should be basic for a lot of people, but they're not..." [02:30]
- Lauren: "If she was continuously bringing down the group and there was always drama... that's super fair. But I don't know if someone just copies your shoes a few times..." [75:29]
- Morgan: "People have a right to grieve. This is a loss." [55:35]
- Reddit commenter (read by Morgan): "Boundaries are about repetition and not letting her pull you into endless debates." [15:34]
- Lauren: "If my boyfriend was like, oh, yeah, everyone calls the girl I work with my work wife, I'd be like, tell them to stop." [89:22]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [00:00–03:45] – Show open, hosts’ mindset, and theme: boundaries
- [05:29–21:56] – Story 1: Mother-in-law & parenting roles
- [23:40–38:18] – Story 2: Groom parties after bride passes out
- [39:37–60:54] – Story 3: Twin, sister, and fiancé betrayal
- [61:05–69:18] – Story 4: Gay twin excluded from wedding
- [70:42–74:16] – Story 5: Supporting spouse through loss—even when you hated the deceased
- [75:29–80:55] – Story 6: Not inviting a “copycat” friend
- [82:35–94:11] – Story 7: The “work wife” boundary in offices
- [Remaining time] – End-of-show commentary, next episode tease
Summary Takeaways
- Setting boundaries is hard—especially with family, traditions, and community expectations.
- When in doubt, less sharing (with judgmental/repetitive nitpickers) = less drama.
- If someone repeatedly tramples your boundaries, it's OK to create distance—even family.
- Work culture can blur lines—what’s “funny” to some can be humiliating to others; assert your comfort, and don’t fear a little awkwardness.
- Support in grief sometimes means swallowing your own feelings for your partner’s sake.
- Inclusion, especially around identity (sexual orientation, relationships), is not negotiable—don’t “suck it up” for others’ comfort at your own expense.
- Trust your gut and support network when faced with betrayal; take time to process before acting.