238: Wedding Blues..

Summary

Two Hot Takes Episode 238: Wedding Blues…

Host: Morgan Absher
Co-host: Josie
Date: October 16, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This lively and candid episode is all about post-wedding reflections, wedding chaos, and hot takes on Reddit’s juiciest wedding-related stories. Fresh off their own DIY farm wedding, Morgan and Josie unpack their firsthand experiences, offer wedding planning tips, and dissect some wild online wedding stories—ranging from malicious bridesmaids to disastrous in-law behavior. Packed with relatable humor, heartfelt advice, and signature Two Hot Takes banter, this episode is the perfect listen for anyone in the throes of wedding planning or drama.

---

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Morgan & Josie’s Own DIY Wedding Recap

• Opening Reflections ([00:37], [01:47])
  • Morgan and Josie celebrate being “back as a married couple.” Both discuss their rings (one listener-made), injuries from DIY elements, and how they built their own venue on Morgan’s family farm.
  • Morgan: “We truly had the most fun, insane, everything I dreamed of wedding… DIY... We built our venue on my family's farm.”
  • Key features included a camel, "beer burrow", atrium tent, and a magician (Chris Herrick).
  • Main advice: “Do what you want! Wedding or elopement—make it yours.”
• Wedding Blues & Post-Event Come Down ([03:29])
  • Friends and guests admitted to having “wedding blues” because the event was so memorable.
  • Morgan: “People were like, how are you guys hanging in there? Because I’ve got the wedding blues—it wasn’t even my wedding!”

2. Top Reddit Wedding Stories & Hot Takes

A. Bridesmaid Leaks the Seating Chart ([10:04])

• Summary: A bridesmaid shared the bride’s seating chart—including sensitive handwritten notes—in a Facebook group. The notes included things like “keep cousin Amy from ex-boyfriend” and “don’t put Aunt Linda near the open bar.”
• Morgan: “It feels very stab in the back to me. I’d be very skeptical.”
• Josie: “If it’s just the seating chart, not a big deal. But the notes—that’s the dagger. Not a real friend.”
• Advice: Consider demoting such a bridesmaid or setting boundaries, especially if it’s a pattern.

B. Telling the Bride She Smelled—AITA? ([20:20])

• Maid of honor told the bride discreetly she had body odor.
• Morgan: “Not the asshole at all. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Better a quick heads up than walking around all day not knowing.”
• Josie: “You completed the mission. Anyone would want to know—they did it perfectly.”
• Advice: Communicate clearly with your wedding party about what you want them to flag or leave be.

C. Dress Regret After Buying—How to Handle? ([29:30])

• A new bride realized after her purchase that she hates her dress.
• Morgan: “Try on dresses everywhere, as many as you can. Don’t say yes until you’ve had at least four appointments.”
• Personal anecdotes about pressure at salons (esp. Kleinfelds), loving Anthropologie’s selection, importance of not buying in haste.
• Advice: If in doubt, try to cancel early, and always have someone take lots of photo/video for objective review later.

D. Cutting the Mic on Religious Father’s Speech ([43:16])

• Bridesmaid silenced the bride’s father mid-speech after he made their secular wedding about God, with shaming undertones.
• Morgan: “You did exactly what had to be done. Bride was happy, groom was happy, that’s all that matters.”
• Josie: “Your friend had your back—the dad made his own scene.”
• Advice: Honor the couple’s wishes, and sometimes, you have to take action for their sake.

E. “Scamming” Husband into Liking Her—Vows Confession ([55:12])

• Woman staged apartment to impress future husband (left out his favorite shirt, band CD, beer).
• Morgan: “People might be split on this… it’s a young, cheeky sort of thing. But as long as you’re not pretending for years, it’s harmless.”
• Redditors were divided, with some calling it “creepy” and others finding it cute.
• Notable quote—OP edit ([65:04]): “Stop being miserable fucks on the Internet and find some happiness.”
• Advice: Initial efforts to get noticed are normal; long-term deception is problematic.

F. Period on the Wedding Day Worries ([70:03])

• Bride stressed that her period will coincide with the wedding (irregular cycle after months of planning).
• Morgan: “Stress can shift your cycle. Just have a kit ready. Don’t stress if things don’t go perfectly—be present.”
• Josie: “What else can you do? Focus on relaxing and having a backup plan (like Period Hero supplements or simply ‘towel time’).”
• Advice: You can’t control everything; focus on comfort, relax where you can.

G. Sister-in-law Leaks Pregnancy Pre-Wedding—AITA? ([81:52])

• Fiancé’s sister shared their pregnancy news on Instagram before the couple were ready.
• Morgan (furious): “She wanted to revel in being the first to break the news. Incredibly disrespectful.”
• Josie: “I would make your point clear, but I wouldn’t burn the bridge.”
• Advice: Take some space, set boundaries, don’t make rash decisions in the heat of anger.

H. Dad’s Wife Throws a Tantrum at the Wedding ([91:12])

• Dad’s new wife shows up in a red sparkly mini dress, throws tantrums throughout the day.
• Morgan: “If you can’t handle being a stepparent, don’t be one. Let your dad deal with his own circus.”
• Josie: “Some people just insist on making it all about them… but don’t let it ruin your day.”
• Advice: Don’t confront if it’s a long-standing pattern—let your parent deal with their own choices.

I. Jealous Groom at Own Wedding—Misha & the Ex-Crush ([105:27])

• Groom sulks at his wedding, showing jealously toward his former crush (Misha) who attends with a new boyfriend; turns out he’s messaged her and flirted/sexted with others on Instagram.
• Josie: “Spent the entire wedding night staring at her—no way. I’d get an annulment.”
• Morgan: “Forward forward forward and onward and better. Don’t get sucked in by the sunk cost fallacy.”
• Notable moment ([121:11] onward): OP discovers infidelity and initiates annulment with widespread support.
• Advice: If you spot major red flags—even post-wedding—take action rather than doubling down.

J. Lighthearted Closer: Guest Wore White (the Dog! ) ([131:21])

• Ends with a playful Reddit post about a ringbearer dog—the only guest who “wore white.”
• Morgan: “He’s a good boy... That gets a pass.”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Wedding Recap: 00:00–08:08
• Bridesmaid Leaks Seating Chart: 10:04–19:05
• BO at the Wedding/AITA: 20:20–27:04
• Dress Regret: 29:30–42:48
• Father’s Religious Speech Cut: 43:16–53:35
• “Scam” Wedding Vows Confession: 55:12–67:56
• Period on Wedding Day: 70:03–80:55
• Sister-in-law Leaks Pregnancy: 81:52–90:05
• Dad’s Wife’s Drama: 91:12–103:07
• Jealous Groom/Infidelity: 105:27–127:10 (updates through 128:05)
• Lighthearted Closer (Dog in White): 131:21–132:17

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Morgan on DIY wedding:
  “[The wedding] was everything; I had the beer burrow, I had the camel, I had the atrium style tent I wanted from China.” ([01:47])
• Josie on wedding blues & celebration:
  "A wedding is by far the coolest experience you'll ever have… the one time you get everyone you love in one spot." ([02:58])
• Morgan on seating chart leak:
  “Notes like… ‘boring table’ or ‘misfit table,’ those are notes for ops eyes only.” ([12:44])
• Morgan summing up wedding day anxieties:
  “Be the duck… Let it roll off your back.” ([27:04])
• On cutting off the dad’s religious speech:
  “It was clear the vibes were not good. The bride was tense, looking mortified. You handled it the best way you could.” ([48:20])
• Morgan on moving forward from awful relationships:
  “Forward, forward, forward and onward and better. And have a good wedding—but more importantly, have a good marriage.” ([129:46])
• Funny closer:
  “I can’t believe this guest wore white to my wedding… but he was our ring bearer and wore it very well.” ([131:56])

---

Final Thoughts & Advice

• From Morgan & Josie:
  • Make your wedding yours, embrace the chaos but don’t sweat the small stuff.
  • DIY can be magical—but be ready for surprises.
  • Trust your gut when choosing people (friends, partners, vendors) for your big day.
  • Communicate expectations clearly with bridesmaids and vendors.
  • Don’t be afraid to set boundaries when people disrespect your wishes.
  • If things go sideways (even after the big day), don’t be afraid to walk away and rebuild;
  • Above all: “Have a good marriage—not just a good wedding.”

---

Transcript

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Teamwork does make the dream work, like putting together a piece of Swedish furniture or trying to figure out how to sell your merch. Sure, you can have an amazing product, but when it comes to actually selling it, you might need a little bit of help. And nobody does selling better than Shopify. Their shop pay feature can help you boost conversions up to 50%, upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial [e-mail] all lowercase. That's shopify.comtht are you ready? Yeah. First episode back as a married couple.

[Josie]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Crazy. We both have rings now. Show everyone your ring. Look at that beautiful ring. He's like, trying to hide his little nails right now, but show you guys his ring still.

[Josie]

Hands got really messed up.

[Morgan]

I know. Mine especially, I've been trying to rip off these acrylic nails. Well, I tried soaking them and then I. It just didn't work. And I tried doing dental floss under the nail and I ripped my real nail under it off. And so both of our fingers are a little jacked up right now. But your ring is beautiful. We had it made with one of our listeners who is also a jeweler. Olivine and ivory. Beautiful ring. Absolutely. Just perfect. Perfect.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I don't have my wedding band yet because I have to get that sized down. So I'm wearing like this little pearl band from Orange County. Pearls. And it's just like, so cute.

[Josie]

Yeah. I just messed my hands up so much.

[Morgan]

Injured myself working, working hard on the farm.

[Josie]

I just smashed them with hammers.

[Morgan]

Oh, God.

[Josie]

I got that really bad cut. Yeah, I burned my hand really bad.

[Morgan]

Mm.

[Josie]

We're healing.

[Morgan]

We are healing. We truly had the most fun, insane. Everything I dreamed of wedding, it was unreal. And the fact we did all of it a diy. It was a diy. We truly built our own venue on my family's farm. And you guys will see the wedding video very soon. I'm sure it'll be dropping on this channel, but it was. It was everything. I had the beer burrow, I had the camel. I had the atrium style tent I wanted from China, Ordered it from China. It came. It was perfect. Putting it together caused a little bit of a World War Three, but, you know, everyone came together for the day. It was good. Yeah, it was. It was a really special, magical day. And, you know, we questioned earlier, like, elope, not elope. Like, is eloping overrated? And I think everyone should do what makes the most sense for them and what they want. But if you do lean towards having a wedding, it can be the most fun, insane, magical day of your life.

[Josie]

Yeah, I, I know we debated actually, but I don't think there's any comparison. I mean, your situation may be, whatever it is, but a wedding is by far the coolest experience you'll ever have in your life. And it's also the one time you will ever get that many people from your life together in one spot at one time celebrating you. There's not another time in life that'll happen.

[Morgan]

Yeah, we really felt the love and like, all of our friends and everyone had so much fun too. Like, it's not just us that had so much fun. The next day we like, woke up in the hotel and a bunch of people like, we're staying at the hotel and they're like, that was so much fun. This is the best wedding we're gonna ever go to. And then like the whole week after the wedding, people were like, how are you guys hanging in there? Because I've got the wedding blues. It wasn't even my wedding. Like, it was that fun. And everyone's joking. They're like, okay, so what are you guys doing for your anniversary party? Like, haha, we're gonna run that back, right?

[Josie]

Yeah. I think everyone, everyone should throw us the anniversary party so that we can take more time to enjoy and be a part of all of it. Because I think that's the hardest part is the day goes by so fast and you spent four months straight hard labor every day working your ass off to set this thing up.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I don't think most people do the crazy DIY we did, but the.

[Josie]

Day comes and yes, it's perfect and it all came together, but you just wish you could pause time in a few moments that night.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Like, have more time for cocktail hour so where you can actually experience everything you work so hard on. I mean, yes, you're throwing a big party for everyone, but it's fun to enjoy some of the stuff you spent so much time on too. So that's a little difficult where it's. Oh my God, wait, the cocktail party is already over. The cocktail hour is already over. And now we're all walking up. And then we walked into dinner late because we were trying to enjoy one last thing with the magician.

[Morgan]

I want to give our magician a shout out. His name is Chris Herrick. You guys, people are still texting me about his magic tricks. We found him because of you guys. Tagging two hot takes in his TikTok videos. And then he messaged me on Instagram and he flew out all the way from Boston.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And just put on such a show for people during cocktail hour. If you're getting married, I think like your cocktail hour and really making that super special and fun is such a good way to set the tone for your wedding. And if you need a magician, Chris is amazing. I'll be sure to link his website in the description and his Instagram so you can see some of the tricks. But unreal, like everything was just unreal. We also had one of our two hot takes listeners, Martina Duterro. I pulled a really good tarot card that day too. The emperor. It was.

[Josie]

I didn't pull.

[Morgan]

I know you're too busy in calm though. Really gotta take advantage of the time, you know, soak in that day. I've got a couple stories set up to kind of talk a bit more about our wedding. Share some of our tips, tricks. I think overall, I think we are going to share like our little planning breakdown that we made on Google sheets and we'll like maybe drop that on Patreon if anyone wants like an easy planning sheet. Because we really did basically plan this ourselves.

[Josie]

I mean from the invites to printing the the name tents at home to doing our own bar signs, welcome sign.

[Morgan]

We, we bought like a hundred dollar printer from Walmart. It printed our bachelor bachelorette trip like itineraries, our name tents, a portion of our invites. We also printed our invites. Well, we made them on Canva with a template we bought on Etsy. I mean like we just did these crazy money saving hacks throughout the whole thing. Bought a cricut in order to make our linen bar signs and welcome sign.

[Josie]

Built a stage.

[Morgan]

Built a stage to save $3,500. Like it. Honestly it's going to be a YouTube video we throw together. But I've got some really good wedding stories picked out. And then after that we are going to be taking a break from wedding stuff because I know a lot of you are probably sick of it, but hey, wedding season's coming to a close. You know, we're starting to get into the holiday drama so that'll start populating our Reddit feeds and all.

[Josie]

I was kind of starting to think like the whole audience, you know, it was a big build up to the engagement.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Then a big build up to the wedding.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Josie]

And now it's all over. Is everyone sad? Is it all just done? Nothing to look forward to? No. Because then people start Thinking, oh, well, what comes next? When do the little ones pop out?

[Morgan]

I know. Ooh, scary.

[Josie]

We're working on a dog first.

[Morgan]

Probably maybe fostering.

[Josie]

We already have three kids.

[Morgan]

Yeah, basically, they are needy. I have to have the vet come out again.

[Josie]

I think you have to feed them more than you'd have to feed a kid.

[Morgan]

No. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, they're not that bad.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

No, but here we go. Wedding drama, wedding chaos, wedding horror stories. And maybe if you're getting married, 20, 26 bride, 27 bride, groom, whoever you are, maybe there's something in here for you to take away from and make your day extra special. Okay, here we go. Are you ready?

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Let's dive in. Sam. Foreign Stories this episode is presented by depop. Everyone's style evolves, but that doesn't mean your fits from last year have to hang out in the bottom drawer forever. On depop, your old clothes could make you some big bucks. With no selling fees, and thanks to AI listings and boostings to make your items pop, selling's never been easier. So go and have a look in the darkest corners of your closet, because even if it doesn't feel special to you, it's exactly what someone else has been looking for. Download depop to start selling today. Where taste recognizes taste. Okay, this first one is coming from R wedding drama titled Bridesmaid accidentally leaked the seating chart and exposed Herself.

[Josie]

Leaked.

[Morgan]

Leaked. Accidentally. I'm getting married in November, and like most brides, I put way too much thought into the seating chart. I wanted to keep certain family members apart. Long story, but my uncle and cousin haven't spoken in years, and I didn't want exes sitting anywhere near each other. One of my bridesmaids, let's call her S. Kept pressuring me about who was sitting where. I brushed it off at first, but she kept asking, saying she wanted to, quote, make sure the vibes were good. Fast forward to last week. Someone from my fiance's side messages me, saying, quote, hey, I heard we're at the boring table in the back. I was confused until I realized the exact seating chart with my handwritten note had been posted in a private Facebook group that s runs. And here's the kicker. The chart wasn't just posted. My notes were included. Notes like, quote, keep cousin Amy far from ex boyfriend, and quote, don't put Aunt Linda near the open bar. Stuff that was never meant for public eyes. When I confronted her, she swore it was an accident, that she meant to screenshot it for herself, but somehow uploaded it to her group of 80 plus people, right? Yeah. Right now I've got people salty about where they're sitting, and I'm redoing the whole layout two months before the wedding. My fiance wants me to cut her from the wedding party, but I'm torn.

[Josie]

Well, I mean, if it had just been the seating chart, that's not really that big of a deal. I think it's more the notes, because the seating chart is what it is. You know, everyone's going to have an opinion, just like they will on anything, but everyone's going to look at the seating chart and be like, well, why don't you put me here? Why? Why won't we move over here? This person should be near this person. It's like, yeah, we thought through it all. We're good.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

So it's like, there's only so much of a battle you can have over a seating chart, because I think that falls under the category of it's your day. You make the choices for sure for your party. And the difference here, though, is the notes, which, honestly, the one, like, keep them away from the X, you know, that would show them that you're really out there fighting for them. You're trying to set everyone up for success, not just yourself. Yeah, but it's like the open bar one or whatever else might be there.

[Morgan]

The boring table. But if someone was like, the boring table like that, it's probably not even numbered. It's probably boring table or like, misfit table. Like, those are notes that are meant to be ops. Eyes only.

[Josie]

We kept those notes in mind. Only we.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I mean, you guys, we were doing our seating chart until the night before the wedding. Like, my assistant Dina actually, like, printed our seating chart names that morning of the wedding, which I'm glad that we waited so long because we actually had an entire table worth of people cancel, like, a day or two before the wedding. Like, Justin's grandpa got Covid. He had to miss it. A couple of my friends got sick. Like, so that was nice. Cause then we could, like, delete one of the tables and, like, rearrange a little bit.

[Josie]

And then the name just ended up a little shifted. But.

[Morgan]

But it's.

[Josie]

We had to do what we had to do.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And a seating chart is something that, like, you really do take into consideration of, like, who's going to get along, who's going to make friends. Like, we've got a bunch of friends from college that all live in the cities and are married. And so we put all of them at a table so they would have fun and talk. And then we put a high school, like, college friend party here.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

My bio dad was on the opposite side of the room as my mom. Your parents were opposite. To make all of that easier. Like, well, it's not so much so strategic.

[Josie]

It's not so much that, oh, we need to prevent people from fighting. It's just, where are people gonna enjoy sitting?

[Morgan]

Exactly.

[Josie]

And who might they mesh well with? Not who are they gonna fight? Cause I don't think that was necessarily a concern of ours. It's more just who's gonna get along and get along by meaning, like, who can make a new friend for sure. Oh, we put this married couple with them, and you know what? They hit it off.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean, just all this goes to, like, say it does take a lot of consideration and time and effort to make a seating chart, especially when you have a hundred, 150, 200 people. So to have that posted, it does feel very stab in the back to me. It doesn't feel like this was just an accident.

[Josie]

Yeah. Because they were upset with it in some fashion and wanted backup to be like, yeah, seating chart, pitchforks.

[Morgan]

It does seem that way. And so I would probably demote her. I don't know if I would. Like, I don't know if your fiance is being like, I don't want her to come to the wedding. Like, I want her cut from the wedding party. I think that should be taken into consideration. It is your friend. But I have a hard time believing this was innocent, so I'd be very skeptical. I'd really not share any more information with her going forward. I'd kind of keep her at arm's length. And, hey, maybe she's in the bridal party, but, you know, maybe less of a role. And then after the wedding, you kind of slow fade. But then again, do you want someone in all of your pictures that you plan on slow fading? Like, is this truly a one off, weird, bitchy thing she did? A malicious move. She did. Or are there other patterns in your friendship where this has been a history? Like, she. She has sabotaged you when you're on your high, or, you know, if you're doing well or you're having success, she's miserable and jealous. Like, what's the overall tone of the friendship? Because if she's doing this shit before your wedding, and if she's a bad friend, like, she could make the wedding day about herself too, or sabotage in some way, create some drama.

[Josie]

Or if this is a one off, then you probably Consider the fact that you've had a great friendship and there's a reason they are in the position they are. Yeah, this is a little weird leading up to the wedding, but it's also scary to make big changes like that right up before your wedding where you're cutting someone from a bridal party or you're removing them or uninviting to the wedding.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Because those may affect you more in your day than just, you know what they did something weird. It was a mistake, maybe, whatever, it was intentional. But let's just go have a good day and we'll deal with this after. There's a. There's a weird gray area with that.

[Morgan]

But it is also your day. Like, have it be the most fun, special for you. So if you're worried about someone, cut them out. If you want to add someone, add someone. I added a bridesmaid two months before the wedding, three months before the wedding. Because she's so special in my life. I know she's going to be a friend going forward. And I was like, I want her included and I want her to, like, be a part of my little girl game that day. So, like, I added someone last minute. Like, it wasn't stressful. It just made the day even more fun. So, yeah, it's. You got to do what's going to be best for you. But. Top comment on this one. That was clearly malicious. Why would you want to keep her at your wedding or as a friend? Next comment. This. I would remove her from the wedding party and uninvite her. I would have also let her know that our friendship is over. Someone goes, and bridesmaids generally sit at the top table. People. You know, bridal party does usually have a head table. Yeah. I mean, a lot of people are like going down the rabbit hole of like, she's already trying to ruin their big expensive wedding for a little bit of entertainment. That bitch is toxic. She will do worse the day of which, I mean, I'm catastrophizing. I kind of went there. OP should be glad she saw her true colors 2 months before. Agree. The bridesmaid wants to create drama at someone else's expense. Cut her and your losses. So I'm not seeing any comments from OP on the post. Someone goes, don't redo it, but definitely uninvite her. That was intentionally malicious. Or redo it with this bridesmaid missing and upload it to that same Facebook group updated seating plan.

[Josie]

Yeah, because she would have clearly saw all those notes on there too. So it was an Active choice to say, let me stir the pot, throw some drama. But yeah, I mean, that's not a real friend. Because a real friend would. That. That, like, that's the opposite of having your back.

[Morgan]

100%.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Post has since been removed. No updates, no comments. I see from op. So.

[Josie]

So higher security. And then still have her think she's coming to the wedding. Oh, God, full force. But not as a bridesmaid. Because then, you know, you get ready in the morning and all that. Have her show up as a regular guest, if she even does still. And then have security and have a list.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Josie]

Name.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

And then when she says her name, say, flip through.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Not on the list.

[Morgan]

Yeah, we had to get.

[Josie]

But I got all ready. But I got all ready and I'm here. I'm. No, I'm. Nope, not on the list.

[Morgan]

Oh, that's so mean. I wouldn't be able to do that. That's too mean.

[Josie]

What she does mean. Okay, I'm going 0 to 100 now.

[Morgan]

You'Re fighting fire with fire. I'm a little more.

[Josie]

Okay, this was a good. This got me in the game.

[Morgan]

Okay. Yeah. I'm a little more Zen. I will say. Disappointed. None of you tried to crash our wedding.

[Josie]

That was true. We really thought it would happen.

[Morgan]

We were hoping some of you would come party with us.

[Josie]

We kept the details secure.

[Morgan]

We did. And I would say we did have security, and that was probably the cheapest part of wedding planning.

[Josie]

I never even saw them. Only in the pictures and stuff.

[Morgan]

The security people. Yeah, they were by the front. Right when you get there. Okay, moving on to this next one. Okay, this is coming from Am I the asshole? 20 days old, titled Am I the asshole for telling the bride that her armpits smell on her wedding day. Since I was the maid of honor, I, 27 female, have a best friend, 27 female, who got married recently. It was an outdoor wedding in the middle of the day on the West Coast. During the reception portion, she was sweaty and her armpits smelled. I discreetly tell her, since that's what we usually do for each other. Before she married her husband, 28 male, she had got mad at him one time because he didn't warn her that she smelled. When they went to a fancy event, she excused herself. I had smelled my own pits, so I excused myself as well to freshen up. When I returned, she was back and she smelled great again. I thought I did good. When she got back from her honeymoon, she told me I made her self conscious for the rest of the wedding. She said I made her feel bad. And she said she's mad at me for ruining her big day. Am I the asshole?

[Josie]

No. 100%. No. That's ridiculous. Are you kidding me? You completed the mission.

[Morgan]

That is literally perfectly. That's what you're supposed to do.

[Josie]

Yeah, I would want to know anyone.

[Morgan]

I would want to know who wouldn't.

[Josie]

And thank you, because now I know I'm set for the rest of the night and didn't have to worry about that. Yeah, perfect.

[Morgan]

Fresh, reapplied. Smells great.

[Josie]

Yeah. Because the first thing you do is, like, when someone tells you, let's say it's at the end of the night. Like, man, you stink at the end of the night. All of a sudden you're gonna think, wow. Everyone the entire night has thought that. Maybe that's where this is coming from. She's thinking that, oh, she caught it halfway through the reception. What happened all before that? Did I stink the whole rest of the day? Did I stink leading up to it? Does everyone think I stink now?

[Morgan]

It's in her head now.

[Josie]

It's just like, mm, don't. Don't take down the people that really, truly have your back. Don't blame them.

[Morgan]

Well, and this was your maid of honor. So it's like, this is your.

[Josie]

That's what you sign up. That's what you asked them to do.

[Morgan]

And dearest bestie, that's a part of the job. Like, I've seen a lot of TikToks and things on social media where people are like, each bridesmaid is getting a job. That one is on deodorant duty. That one is on straighten up bitch duty. So if I'm slumped over, she says, straighten up, bitch. And then I'm ready for my picks. Like, dang. Every bridesmaid has a job.

[Josie]

I needed that.

[Morgan]

Dude, I'm scared. We haven't gotten our pictures back yet at the time of this recording. And I'm like, oh, God, I'm gonna get back. It's just the slumped. No, I really. I try to think about it all day. I was, like, very conscious about that, but who knows? But I'm gonna get to pictures and dresses in a little bit here. But I think, like, as a bride, you can articulate to people and be like, hey, you know, if I smell, please tell me. Or if you don't want to know, like. And you're the type of person where something is going to get in your head like this and then ruin your day. Air quotes. Because that's Fucking ridiculous. You can tell your bridesmaids, like, hey, guys, I just want to be present in the day. Like, don't feel the need to, like, you know, ask me if I'm okay.

[Josie]

If I puke, don't hold my hair.

[Morgan]

Don't hold my hair. Let me stand.

[Josie]

If I fall on the floor and can't get up, just let me scramble until I get up.

[Morgan]

Yeah. No, like, you can communicate that, but even as a maid of honor or bridesmaid, you can also ask your friend, the bride, and be like, what do you need? Are you someone who. You want me to ask you, are you okay? Or is that gonna stress you out more?

[Josie]

Sure. But at this point, it was too late in the day. You can't.

[Morgan]

It is. And so, like, I don't think the asshole. Not the asshole at all.

[Josie]

No.

[Morgan]

Because how else would you go about this? Oh, go to her husband and be like, hey, tell so and so. She stinks. You're her best friend. You did it. Seemingly based on what I've got here. Discreetly. You didn't embarrass her. You didn't go up to her with a group of people and be like, hey, you stink. Let's go to the bathroom, smelly. Like, you did it in a nice way.

[Josie]

You didn't go, tell the dj, tell.

[Morgan]

The bride she stinks. Like, this is the ideal situation. Like, I forgot to put perfume on our wedding day. I never wore perfume. Regret it. I wish someone would have been like, did you put your perfume on? Put a lot of deodorant on. Didn't forget that for the, like, first time ever.

[Josie]

That's a win.

[Morgan]

I know. No one told me I stunk, but if I did, I would want to know.

[Josie]

I think that's part of the duties of a best man. You know, even any part of the wedding party. That's kind of part of the duties of that group.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Is to make sure you have the best day possible. And I would think part of that is exactly what she did.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

I think it was perfectly.

[Morgan]

I think perfectly executed. Not the asshole.

[Josie]

No.

[Morgan]

Top comment. Not the asshole. If my maid of honor didn't tell me I smelled during my literal wedding, I think I'd be pissed. Lol. Next comment. Not the asshole. Exactly. Better a quick heads up than walking around all day not knowing. Side note, if you're having a wedding outside on a hot day in autumn and you stink, well, that's just life. Everyone is sweating. Fucking cope. Next comment. Yes, but as the bride, literally everyone wants to hug you. Congratulate you, take a picture with you. Everyone is in your personal space. You don't want to be stinky.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Next comment. That has quite a few upvotes. 1 8k right now. This is a textbook case of no good deed goes unpunished. Curious if we have any updates or anything? No updates from OP here. I don't think we're gonna get one considering it's 20 days old now. I don't see any comments from OP.

[Josie]

Never know.

[Morgan]

Oop. I did find one as I scrolled Oop. Oop. So this person goes, not the asshole. I'd be mad if my best friend didn't tell me she could smell me. OP goes, that was my thinking. As I alluded to, I've seen her get mad at her husband back when he was her fiance that he didn't warn her that she smelled before they went to a birthday party. I feel like I'm getting mixed messages from her about what she expects her closest people to do for her.

[Josie]

Yeah, same.

[Morgan]

And next one down. So ask her, quote for the future, do you want me to let you know if I can smell your bo or do you want me to remain silent and let everyone else you encounter through the day smell you as well?

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Also, if that ruined her wedding like that, that's kind of on you. Like, you got to be a duck. When stuff like goes wrong, you got to be the duck and you just got to let it roll off your back.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like you just, you got to do it. Which, hey, be the duck here. I wasn't going to read this one quite yet, but let's get into this real quick so I can have my soapbox of a moment duck story and then move along. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Addressing your mental health is so important, especially in times of high stress. And Talkspace is rated number one for online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere. And why Talkspace? Well, Talkspace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. Let me tell you more about why I love Talkspace. I've tried online therapy in the past and I love it. I loved being able to take my sessions from my car, from a park, from the comfort of my bed. And Talkspace is in network with most major insurance providers. Most insured members actually have a zero dollar copay. Talkspace even has couples therapy. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.com THD and enter promo code SPACE80. That's S, P, A, C, E80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com THT and enter promo code SPACE80. So this is coming from r wedding planning. It's two years old now, titled I Hate My Wedding Dress. I, 33, female, just bought what I thought was my dream dress. It was definitely not what I was originally looking for, but when I put it on, I felt like it was the one. About an hour into my drive home, I started looking at the pictures of me taken in the dress and now I absolutely Hate was relatively expensive. And I feel terrible telling my mother who bought the dress and my sister that I'm having some serious second thoughts. I know they just want me to be happy, but how do I curb the guilt of telling them I want to look for other options, especially after I made such an emotional show for the dress I now hate. What are your initial thoughts?

[Josie]

Stress.

[Morgan]

Why?

[Josie]

Anxiety.

[Morgan]

Our day is done. No stress. No anxiety.

[Josie]

I think on the outside, especially as the groom, you go through this whole process of dress selection and trips to here and there to find dresses.

[Morgan]

And most grooms don't do that, by the way. Most grooms don't get to go to any bride.

[Josie]

No, I'm not even saying that. I'm saying like you.

[Morgan]

Oh.

[Josie]

And on your own even. And all the lengths that I saw you go to for each thing and not to mention costs and everything else that goes into it.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

So it just is stressful in the sense that like everything I did, I feel like leading up to the wedding, as much work and time and everything that we did, I feel like I was trying to make it. I wanted it to be exactly the vision you had always had. And so then as we're fighting through all that and working to make it, that the dress thing just felt like some extra stress I couldn't even take on.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Because it's just like, well, the dress has to be perfect. We're doing all of this. And it feels like, you know, for the dress to then take away from that. Right. If it's not perfect and there's four or five or six wedding dresses floating around and they've all been purchased and there's multiple try ons and I, I saw five of six or four or five or whatever it is.

[Morgan]

I didn't have that many dresses. I had.

[Josie]

The only one I didn't see was the one that was originally going to work and then it didn't work. And then Somehow at the 11th hour it came back around to being the best choice. And then day of, it's like, no, I don't like it. So I'm just a little stressed about it still.

[Morgan]

So I think the moral of the story is you should love the dress.

[Josie]

You get or you should get the dress you love.

[Morgan]

What did I say?

[Josie]

Love the dress you get.

[Morgan]

Yeah, either way. Either way. I guess your way. Your way probably sounds better. You should love the dress you get. What did I. Wait, what? How'd you say it? Your way.

[Josie]

You should get the dress you love.

[Morgan]

You should get the dress you love.

[Josie]

Make sure of it.

[Morgan]

Make sure of it. Like, I. I don't hear a lot from this person, like, oh, this was my first appointment. Or, you know, whatever. I've been to four appointments. I've been to five appointments.

[Josie]

It's been purchased.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it's been purchased. 1. You're driving home right now. Call them up and say, hey, I've changed my mind. Can I cancel? I just don't love it. There's no way in the 30 minutes since you've left that that can't happen. And if you have to go block the charge on your credit card. Block the charge on your credit card. I don't fucking care. Like, nothing has been set in stone. Like, they should be willing to work with you and you should be able to get a different dress.

[Josie]

You can't block the charge. That's not going to work. But continue.

[Morgan]

I don't know if. Put a freeze on that card. Get new numbers, report it stolen.

[Josie]

Don't do any of that. That's really bad.

[Morgan]

But let me just share my experience. Okay? So my advice to anyone getting married that wants to wear a dress, do not say yes to the dress until you go to at least four different places to try on dresses. Four has to be four.

[Josie]

How many dresses at each?

[Morgan]

I literally try on as many as you can at each appointment. I went to my very first appointment. I went to Kleinfeld's. I felt very, very, very pressured. There it is. Very. Sales, sales, sales. Let me sell you. I told them my budget. I said my budget was 5,000. Every single dress I got put in was in at least the 8,000 to $12,000 range. Like, they just kept putting me in dresses that, like, were out of my range. And I only tried on four dresses. So when I found one that was, like, slightly made me feel good and not frumpy and gross, I was like, oh, yeah, this is good. Okay, I'll get this one. I left that appointment and immediately was Like, I don't know if I like it. I had this same experience. I was like, I don't know if I like it. My mom got food poisoning. She couldn't make it to the appointment. I was like, I refused to say yes to the dress because I couldn't do without my mom there. I just, like, I had so many doubts and didn't feel good. Then I went to LA and I went to a salon out here. Jackson James, who has a lot of, like, really great, like, dresses, great selections. I found a dress that I, I, you know, I really liked the material. I really liked the dress, but I just wanted some changes to it. So we customized some options. I thought that dress was gonna be, like, great. Like, this was perfect solution for everything. We were gonna make a bolero. We're gonna do this, we're gonna do that. I got the dress back and the designer, like, totally forgot their design. Like, this dress was botched. The bridal salon admitted it, My consultant admitted it. Everyone admitted it. Like, the designer did not follow their own designs at all. So then you have to, like, fight with this person, this designer, to, like, remake the dress, get the dress right. And Jackson James was like, really good about going to bat and, like, getting the dress fixed for me. They, the designer had to pay someone here, like, to fix it. That ended up being the dress I wore for a majority of the night because I did feel more comfortable in it. But I really didn't love either dress I wore, especially not the one I wore for the ceremony because it came with sleeves and Kleinfeld's didn't do the sleeves right, so I couldn't get them to stay up on my arm. The sleeves kept falling down. It just wasn't comfortable. Was it beautiful? Yeah. I'm sure you guys will see the pictures and you'll be like, Morgan, you're crazy. It's a beautiful dress, but it just wasn't what I wanted. And I, I realize now in hindsight, like, everyone's like, oh, you're probably going to go with something you never thought you'd go with. Or, like, try on dresses that are outside of your style, which I do recommend doing, but also make sure you're trying on stuff that is you. Like, I should have gone with an off the shoulder dress. And I didn't. I, like, didn't trust my gut. And I just. It does not take away from our day. Like, you do not have any stress over it. But I just wish the ceremony dress would have been good. And why did I not wear the second one the whole day. Well, because I didn't want my money to go to waste, so I wore them both. And, you know, hey, maybe that's a mistake. I still had the most amazing, magical day. But all of this to just say, make sure you go and try on dresses everywhere, as many as you can. Some of my favorite appointments where I had the best experience was actually at Anthropology. Their wedding dresses are amazing. They're super budget friendly, and they have, like, similar styles to a lot of the big designers out there that you see on Instagram and stuff. So I really appreciated that.

[Josie]

Did you find it was more helpful to not commit to anything during an appointment and really look at the videos and pictures after to see how you felt about it?

[Morgan]

Yeah. 100. Because at anthropology, there was one dress where I was like, oh, my God, I really like it. And my mom was like, are you gonna say yes? Is this the one? And I was like, I just. I don't know. I went back, I looked at all the pictures of the video, and I was like, that is not my dress.

[Josie]

So you need a good picture and video taker along with you. That actually takes the right angle. Absolutely. That shows what it's actually going to look like.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Don't feel bad about, like, being the weird person getting pictures and videos. Like, that is the time to do it. Like, don't feel self conscious about it or getting in anyone's way or being cheesy.

[Josie]

Even at Kleinfeld's where everyone's, you know.

[Morgan]

Everyone parts are out. Oh, my God. At Kleinfeld, I did not see this. I literally. No, I think I showed you. I think I showed you that dress because it wasn't the one.

[Josie]

Yes, but you were saying how there's people sitting there and literally can see everyone.

[Morgan]

You guys, if I put. If I put a picture of this dress on the YouTube right now, it would get taken down for nudity. Like, it was sheer. There was no lining to this dress. And they do that because you can add lining, but it doesn't come with lining. It's this whole thing. I'm walking out and my areolas are out, and there's people's grandpas and dads and everyone in the fucking room. They should have a lining for this dress. Like, it was insane. I'm just like, oh, my God. Try not. Dresses is an experience.

[Josie]

Tell you that maybe if you do a bunch of these fittings all around, you'll just get used to it.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Josie]

Just won't even bother you.

[Morgan]

I know. Well, and, like, We. One thing I do love about our wedding is, like, we did not take that many pictures. We, like, were so present in our day. So I think with one of the dresses that I got from Ukraine, got it from, like, an Instagram company off from Ukraine, and it was, like, the cheapest, most beautiful dress, but I didn't wear it. I want to do, like, a styled shoot. So I would say, like, be more present in your day versus trying to get the perfect photos.

[Josie]

And a lot of the photos would be candid.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Which is awesome. That's kind of what we said. We knocked out the family photos basically as an assembly line. You in, out. You come in this side, out. Parents in, out. It was just like, boom, boom, boom. We knocked.

[Morgan]

Our photographer and videographer were amazing.

[Josie]

That's a great way to do it. And don't let other people interfere and say, oh, what about one with blah, blah. What about. Nope. We have our list. We're set. Go. Yeah, it worked.

[Morgan]

It did work. Okay, enough about the dress.

[Josie]

We're getting tangent.

[Morgan]

We're getting tangential. Sorry. Top comment on this dress. One has since been deleted.

[Josie]

Lame.

[Morgan]

But OP did respond to it, so it was a good response. But OP Was like, I hadn't thought of that. The dress in my size hasn't come in yet, so there's always a chance that when it's actually altered to fit my body, then I'll love it again. I was unable to return it due to the store's policy. Should have canceled the card.

[Josie]

No.

[Morgan]

You're going to ruin your credit looking at the pictures. It's just not what I'm envisioning while I'm walking down the aisle. However, it gave me such an emotional response when I tried it on. I had to have felt some way about it. I'm not sure. I'm just so torn right now.

[Josie]

Yeah. But you can be caught in the moment, right? You can be excited to be a bride and, oh, my God, it's all coming together. I'm choosing my dress. I've been looking forward to this day since I was a kid. That might all be floating through your.

[Morgan]

Head, and there's a lot of pressure put on.

[Josie]

Just be like, I love it. I love it. Because you're just kind of trying to go through the process of it all.

[Morgan]

Exactly that. Yeah. And it's like, don't put that pressure on yourself.

[Josie]

You got time.

[Morgan]

Don't do it. I've talked to so many brides, and, like, I think something I've experienced that a lot of people have Agreed with me on is like I'm just not someone that looks good in a wedding dress. I think a lot of people I talked to were like, I was like, I don't know what it is about the dresses. Like I kept trying them on, like they didn't really look that great on me. I don't know. There was one dress I tried on and it is the dress I probably should have gone with but I didn't do it. And I don't know. It's a Kim Kasa beautiful dress, but that's the one that I'm like, damn, that one did look good.

[Josie]

I think you're a damn goodlook bride.

[Morgan]

Okay, thank you.

[Josie]

A really cute bride.

[Morgan]

Cute. Oh, all the above. All the above make me cry.

[Josie]

But we can read our vows.

[Morgan]

There were some kick ass vows. Someone does say this happened to me too and I really wish I would have taken my time and shopped around more. The dress was non refundable and I can't afford to buy a new one now. I'm getting married next month and decided that I just have to make the best of it.

[Josie]

Which is also true because it's also not the end of the day. The dress doesn't make or break the day. It's your day. And really what is the day about? It's not about the dress, not about the suit. It's about who's there and it's about what you're there for.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I will read this one last comment before moving on because I really do like it. Yeah, this person goes. This happened to me. Check my two posts. I actually hated it. The photos I had taken were not flattering. It was not in my size. Too small. I called the store and went back to try it on again. Fell in love with it all over again. Delete the pictures.

[Josie]

Wow. Which I could go anyway.

[Morgan]

Solid advice. And I will say like another tip. When you go try on dresses, like don't go with your hair being greasy and having a bad hair day. Wear a little bit of makeup. Or if like you don't wear makeup then don't do that. But like if you are someone that wears makeup, go with a little bit of a face on because that can also throw you off.

[Josie]

But if you go straight out of bed, your hair is a mess and you have no makeup on and you love the dress, then you'll really love it all dolled up and damn, you're going to be set.

[Morgan]

Exactly. Okay, moving along. This next one is coming from. Am I the. It is eight months Old now. I've been saving it for quite some time. Titled Am I the asshole for cutting off the mic during the father of the bride's speech at my friend's wedding?

[Josie]

Probably not. Probably not.

[Morgan]

So I, 31, female, was recently a bridesmaid at my best friend's, let's call her Sarah Wedding. It was supposed to be an amazing day, but things went completely off the rails during the reception and now I'm at the center of the drama. Sarah and her husband are not religious. They made it very clear that they wanted a secular wedding. No prayers, no religious speeches, just a fun drama free day. Everyone seemed to respect that except her father. During the reception, it was time for speeches. Her dad gets up, takes the mic, and at first it's all sweet, talking about how proud he is of Sarah, how beautiful she looks, et cetera. But then out of nowhere, he shifts gears and starts talking about how a marriage isn't real unless it's blessed by God. I see Sarah's face freeze. Her new husband, who was raised in a completely different religion, looks super uncomfortable. But her dad keeps going. It turns into a full on sermon. He starts talking about how he, quote, prays they find their way to Christ and even says, quote, a marriage without God is doomed to fail.

[Josie]

Nice.

[Morgan]

The whole room goes tense. Sarah is staring at me, looking mortified. I know she doesn't want a scene, but I also know she does not want this moment at her wedding. So I made a split second decision. I went over to the DJ and signaled him to cut the mic.

[Josie]

Nice.

[Morgan]

The speakers go silent. Her dad looks furious. He tries to keep talking, but obviously no one can hear him. Finally, someone from the catering staff gently takes the mic away and he storms off. Now catering now. Sarah secretly thanked me later, but the fallout has been insane. Her dad is livid, saying I humiliated him. Her mom is saying I ruined the wedding and that I had no right to interfere. Even some guests think I was out of line. But I don't know, wasn't it more out of line for him to hijack his daughter's wedding like that? Am I the asshole for cutting off the mic or should I have just let it happen?

[Josie]

No, you did exactly what had to be done. Honestly.

[Morgan]

Round of applause.

[Josie]

You know, maybe could have been done a little earlier, but wow, to step up and actually do that in the middle of speeches. Because in the middle of speech, I mean, you hear someone set their fork down like I know you notice if anything's different. So to stand up because you recognize the look and you knew exactly that what was happening, that they didn't want this.

[Morgan]

And it wasn't. It wasn't just a. Like, hey, he's clearly religious. And during his speech, he's like, you know, may God bless your marriage. I love you both. Congratulations. Yeah, this was almost shaming them. Yeah, Shaming them and implying that their marriage is doomed to fail if they don't find their way to Christ. Like, yeah. That is not the time or the place.

[Josie]

Well, because this story isn't about religion. This story is about a couple setting their very clear wishes for their day and those wishes not being respected.

[Morgan]

Exactly.

[Josie]

And I think that's the theme with any problem at a wedding. It's here. Here's what we want. And then someone goes against that. But when that person then gets cut off or somehow is not. I can't see him feeling ashamed. But when that person has to face the fact that someone shut the mic off or whatever.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Then they turn it around and say, like, then it's them against you.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Cause he's got a scapegoat now. He's got a scapegoat that he can point at where it's like, I didn't ruin the wedding with my speech. I didn't make everyone uncomfortable. It was embarrassing because I got cut off. Your friend had no right to do that.

[Josie]

No, your friend's a real friend.

[Morgan]

That is true friend. That is a real ride or die. I mean, it was clear the vibes were not good. The bride was tense, looking mortified. And so, like, I think you handled it the best way you could. Like, your friend came up to you and thanked you. Yeah. So not the asshole. Bottom line, bride was happy, groom was probably really happy. So does it matter if the dad is humiliated?

[Josie]

No, he caused his own scene.

[Morgan]

Not his day. The mom saying, you ruined the wedding, you had no right to interfere. I mean, you're bridesmaid.

[Josie]

Of course she's gonna say that.

[Morgan]

You're involved in the wedding. You're the wedding party. So, I mean, you acted accordingly. If the bride wanted her dad to go on, the bride could have then said, hey, dj, can you turn the mic back on? Dad, continue your speech. If the bride would have wanted that to continue, she would have made it happen. It was clearly a blessing. No one else interfered to get him talking again. So there's your answer. It was well received.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So there you go. And uop, I wouldn't care what these people think about you. No, you probably don't see your friend's parents that much. And if you did well, you won't anymore. And that sounds like a win.

[Josie]

Well. And you're there for your friend.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

So you were loyal to the person that you were there for, which is good. And now, honestly, as the bride and groom, I would sit down with the dad and say, cut this shit out. Yeah, they did exactly what I wanted. They saw the look on my face. You could even say that you kind of whispered to them and say, hey, shut him down.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Josie]

I mean, really, you gotta make it clear that your friend had your back and your dad did completely, like, the complete opposite.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

And make this an issue with him directly, because I don't know how many events after a wedding that this could repeat itself or whatever, but you need to set it straight that, no, you completely went against what we wanted. You are the one that caused. If we want to say that this ruined the wedding day, you are the one that did that.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I mean, it's hard. And we had people pull audibles and give speeches that we were not expecting at our wedding. But, yes, it's hard. It's.

[Josie]

This is so blatant.

[Morgan]

This is a bit different. I, I, I guess, like, I just don't know. I think it's kind of one of those things where, like, I'm all for, like, communication and confronting it and stuff like that. But as you said, like, there's probably not going to be a lot of other circumstances where he's going to give speeches like this. This would probably be one where, if he keeps bringing it up, obviously you have to address. But I'd let sleeping dogs lie. Like, for our wedding, my mom and my dad gave a speech like, my dad, Jerry, who you guys all know, he bought a bottle of wine shortly after I was born. And it's been sitting in a cellar waiting to be opened on my wedding day. So we opened it on our wedding day and tried this wine, and my dad, like, gave this speech to, like, talk about that, and it was beautiful. Then my mom was up there, you know, standing with him.

[Josie]

He did well, though, because it was just about that. And that's what we had talked about.

[Morgan]

We loved that. Then my mom got the mic because she was up there, and she had, like, also called up my bio dad with her, which I didn't want. And so that was an audible. And then, like, she gave the speech and kind of, like, just went off the rails and said stuff I wasn't expecting. And then, like, my bio dad got the mic and said stuff that, like, was not expecting. And so it's just like when you have stuff that pops up like that that you're not expecting, it's extremely stressful in the moment. And you're like. I'm like, literally like, well, you looked.

[Josie]

Over at me and you're like, well, the thing.

[Morgan]

But it was fine. Like, other people thought it was beautiful. Would anyone else notice?

[Josie]

No, it was fine.

[Morgan]

Notice. Yeah.

[Josie]

But then you get into a territory where, like, you almost want people to know. Like, no, that was unplanned.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Like.

[Morgan]

Cause then I wouldn't have had that go down.

[Josie]

Right. But then you kind of look towards my parents. You're like, hey, parents. Like, that was not planned. Because if we had planned for them to say something, then maybe my parents would have said a quick little word if that had been planned. But it wasn't. So it's not like we left my parents out. It's. That was just not part of it.

[Morgan]

Well, and like, who does speeches at weddings? Is totally up to the couple. Like, the groom's parents usually do the rehearsal dinner. Bride's parents do the wedding. So it's like, that is what it is. But it is very stressful when you have audibles happen for your students.

[Josie]

And then how many can you have before? Because we've all been at those weddings.

[Morgan]

We honestly were bordering on too many speeches.

[Josie]

Yeah, but we.

[Morgan]

They were beautiful. They were so good. Our.

[Josie]

Our brides, our plan speeches were the best speeches I've ever heard. And I know we're biased because it was like, involving us since our people, but I gotta say, they were good. I don't think I've ever heard better written ones than those. Seriously, they're beautiful. To be hard to beat.

[Morgan]

Your best woman, Josie. I'm like, I forget what you were calling her. Best woman. She stood on my side, so I'm like, she was one of my bridesmaids. But like also your best woman.

[Josie]

Best woo, man.

[Morgan]

Yeah, her speech was great. I had two maid of honors, Lauren and Alejandra. Their speeches were great. It was just. It was. It was beautiful. It really was beautiful. But this can be stressful.

[Josie]

Yes.

[Morgan]

OP not the asshole. Top comment on this one. Bestie for life. Guests, especially people close to the couple who don't respect the couple's requests, can kick rocks. My cousin got married to someone religious. Our entire extended family is from a different culture and none of us practice any religion. But out of respect for his family, we bowed our heads and listened to the pastor bless them. It was their day, not any of ours. The mom and dad are complete assholes. I agree. I agree with that. We have no update on this one. Account has been deleted by the person that posted. So that's all she wrote. Friends, no more.

[Josie]

Deleting counts.

[Morgan]

You know, I don't know what it is with people deleting things lately. It's very frustrating. But moving along to this next one. Yes, this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Just like choosing which honeymoon photo to post, State Farm has options to choose from to help you find the coverage that best fits your needs. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are basic on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. So good, so good, so good. Just in thousands of winter arrivals at your Nordstrom rack store, save up to 70% on coats, slippers and cashmere from Kate Spade New York, Vince Ugg, Levi's and more.

[Josie]

Check out these boots.

[Morgan]

They've got the best gifts. My holiday shopping hack. Join the Nordy club. Get an extra 5% off every rack purchase with your Nordstrom credit card. Plus buy it online and pick it up in store the same day for free. Big gifts, big perks. That's why you rack. Okay, so this one is coming from R Stories four Days Old. It's titled I Scammed my Husband into liking Me and I Admitted it on our wedding day. Admitted it in my vows, actually, in front of all of our guests. For me, it was love at first sight. For my now husband, not so much for him. I was his little sister's friend with braces and constant teen girl giggling. He was the older, much, much hotter, couldn't care less, older brother upstairs, I obviously had no shot. Later, we met again through mutual friends, now both older, no headgear. I was just as in love. He was still just as cute. And this time I actually had a chance. I wasn't going to blow it. I invited him to crash at my place after a friend's birthday party and I had staged the place. I had casually left out a T shirt of his favorite football team. You know, just tossed on the back of the chair. Oops. How did that get there? I left a CD of his favorite band on my nightstand because obviously that's what any casual fan does. I love them too. Duh. I had his favorite beer in the fridge. Yes, I a hundred thousand percent drink this beer too. It doesn't taste like piss Water to me at all?

[Josie]

No.

[Morgan]

Was I a complete weirdo for doing this? Yes. Did it work perfectly? Also, yes. It also made for perfect wedding vows. His sister, a bridesmaid, was only a little annoyed to find out I was using our hangouts as study sessions on her older brother. Just kidding. She thought it was hilarious and knew all her friends thought he was cute. Obviously.

[Josie]

That's it.

[Morgan]

That's the post.

[Josie]

Wow. What an ending. That just felt like, boom, it's done.

[Morgan]

Wow.

[Josie]

And the way you're reading that, just felt like I was waiting for the next sentence.

[Morgan]

That's all she wrote.

[Josie]

Okay. Yeah. I feel like I had a similar experience. I didn't really stage anything, but I also feel like I definitely worked very hard to win you over. And, you know, this one, it's not weird or anything. I love it because, yeah, you may have staged some things that were not super true, but at the end of the day, you guys ended up together. And I don't think, knowing this, he would be like, oh, well, the whole relationship's a sham. It's built on a crappy foundation. It just was the initial thing to get his attention. And then your relationship, if it was gonna work or fail, it would've worked or failed. It's not because of this. And I feel like ours is similar in the sense that, you know, at first, I was all in, and this is part of my vows. You know, I said I left that bar that day, and I said, I'm gonna marry this girl. And then I did. But at first, it was a lot of really doing everything I could to win you over. And even when I thought I had won you over, it was still not there. I still wasn't there. So just. It's a similar journey.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

But, like, it doesn't take away from the strength of a relationship or how far you've come in all of that. It's just more of a. You know, it's perfect. I use it in my vows too. It's a perfect full circle.

[Morgan]

And I do think, like, I. I really do agree with you where you're like, yeah, it was a. It was more of, like, an entry way to get in, but then they still had to, like, have that chemistry and work out to get to the next step.

[Josie]

Yeah, you're not gonna get married to the beer, the band, and the.

[Morgan]

You know, so it's like, as long as she didn't totally completely change who she was to get him to fall for her, right then I'm like, okay, cute. But I do think People might be split 50, 50 on this one. I think half the people listening could be like, oh my God, that's so cute. Like kind of a, a young immature thing to do, like being the cool girl. And yeah, this is my favorite band too. Haha. And then there's the other half of the people that are gonna be like, no, that's actually really creepy and manipulative.

[Josie]

I don't know, maybe at first, but that, then again that doesn't have any, you know, weight of the relationship. Now it's just a funny story.

[Morgan]

I know, I know. I, I think it's cute. I do think it's cute. It seems like very light hearted and just like, haha, like a cheeky little thing. And I think that is adorable. Like, I don't know, I, I think I can relate to like having a crush on like a friend's brother or like this kid that lives in my neighborhood and I'm gonna walk my dog in front of his house just in the off chance he's outside and notices me. Like we all kind of do that weird shit when we're younger and trying to get someone to notice us and like us. So I'm like, ugh. Hey, that's fine. It does remind me of a story we had though, and maybe you guys can let me know which one this is. I feel like it was either an episode with Lauren or Alejandra and it was a story about this woman who had like seriously changed herself and manipulated her husband into falling for her. And then she admitted it to him and he like immediately like got so creeped out he started divorcing her, which.

[Josie]

Is crazy to be able to keep that up.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I'm forgetting because he would find.

[Josie]

Out she's not the biggest fan of that band or that team really quick and that she doesn't drink that beer. The second he pours them both a beer and she's like. And can't finish it, you know, But I. What I do love, I'm gonna interject really quick.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Josie]

What I do love about this though is going forward, you can now use these things, which I. Maybe it's happened. But you buy a case of that beer every once in a while and just have it stocked in the fridge for him. Just as kind of a, you know, a throwback to the joke of the start of everything. You buy tickets to the game to go see that team or you buy tickets to that concert when that band's in town. You keep it going almost as like a nod back to your beginnings. Even though it was kind of faked, I just think. I don't know.

[Morgan]

I like it. No. Okay. So the story. I found the story. It is titled, I stalked my husband for Two years before I Formally met him.

[Josie]

Yeah, that's totally different.

[Morgan]

And it was just, like, really, really crazy. And it was like, I saw him at a park. I found his Instagram, found his social media. I also found where he lived since my brother offered to walk him home while I tagged along. When I got home that day, I knew I wanted him. But of course, I was only 14 while he was 18, so I came up with a plan. And then she, like, admitted this to all of him, and then he went nuts, which justifiably. So where do you think the comments went on this post?

[Josie]

I don't know. I know where I sit, so I'm not worried about it.

[Morgan]

So comments right now are sorted with controversial being up top, which is the default for this subreddit. And this comment says, it would be disgusting if you don't actually like any of those things. If you do, though, and not just because he does, then you've done nothing gross. It's definitely gross and shameful if you don't actually like that stuff on your own. Relationships built on lies always die.

[Josie]

It isn't built on that, though. That was just the start. That was probably the first date.

[Morgan]

It does have.

[Josie]

It doesn't.

[Morgan]

Negative 90 down.

[Josie]

Yeah, because it's like. It's not literally built on that. If your relationships built on a. Like, for a band, a team, and a beer. What? I mean, there's got to be more depth. Otherwise, what's there? Come on. I'm not. It's not like, oh, we're all Vikings fans, so we all should be married to each other because we like the Vikings. You need more than that.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

You got to decorate. You got to travel. There's a whole bunch of shit you got to do together.

[Morgan]

I mean, people did not find this that cute. I'm gathering from the comments someone else goes, quote, I'm not a creepy stalker, end quote. No, you are.

[Josie]

I think people are just jealous of people that actually find real love. Everyone typing these comments is at home, single, and can't find a date. So they're like, you found them the wrong way. If he knows about it, which he obviously does now.

[Morgan]

He does.

[Josie]

And he. If he had a problem with it, he could leave. Doesn't seem like he has a problem with it. He got married. He heard the vows probably before they said, I do. Yeah, he had a Chance he could have left. He probably knew it a long time beforehand. He is the one that should choose if he wants to leave because of that. Not all you type in your comments. Yeah, it doesn't matter what you think.

[Morgan]

So OP does have an edit. Edit to the people who think this is weird. One, I already owned the shirt, local school, my dad's shirt and CD because I genuinely liked them. I just made sure they were visible. Two. I don't care. I'm into my husband. Sue me.

[Josie]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

Final edit.

[Josie]

Live your own life.

[Morgan]

Wow. I guess I should have expected Reddit to be a hellscape, but not like this. The fact that some of you are genuinely DMing me to harm myself because I laid out a shirt for a local college team. My husband and I have been together for many years now. He was not tricked into anything, you freaks. He's seen this post in the comments and is just as confused as I am at how shitty you guys are being. Stop being miserable fucks on the Internet and find some happiness.

[Josie]

Literally.

[Morgan]

For those that have been kind, my husband and I thank you. Yeah, I mean, people admit like cute, crazy things in their vows and speeches. Like our videographer. Actually, I found them. Him. It's Josh, and his wife is mayor and they have like a videography photography duo. Amazing, amazing people. But I found them because Josh posted a clip from one of his weddings and the groomsman or best man was giving a speech. And in his speech he was like, you know, Rachel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, used to look at me that way. But you know, when she started looking at Chris, I knew that Rachel really had met her soulmate. The only problem was Rachel was dating me at the time. That was his best man speech. Like, people can joke and kid and like not be so serious and it's like, yeah, I mean, he obviously knows all these things and like, it's not a big deal, it's not goofy. But that other story we read and I. I'll find what episode it is and tag it in the description for you guys if you want to go back and watch it. That person stalked him for two years. Like that's different than you have a crush on your friend's older brother. Haha.

[Josie]

Yeah. The other one feels like a crime. This does not.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

God, people are nuts.

[Morgan]

Don't take things on the Internet so seriously sometimes. Maybe. Moral of the story with that one.

[Josie]

Yeah, live your own life.

[Morgan]

The keyboard warriors came out.

[Josie]

Do something with your time, please.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it is interesting. I mean, just looking at some of OP's comments. People really went down the rabbit hole, assuming things, speculating, and did kind of take a funny story way out of context. And they're like implying like, oh, you're a bad friend because you didn't even tell his sister that you were dating her brother and you were just using her to get close to the brother. And Opie is like, his sister knew we were hanging out and talking. Where in this post did it say I didn't tell her first? She's one of my best friends. She was also a bridesmaid and couldn't have been happier.

[Josie]

There's literally no issues. I know they're happily together, married. There's no problems with the sister. They're all fine.

[Morgan]

No.

[Josie]

What is the issue, people?

[Morgan]

I don't know. This is. This is goofy to me. This is really goofy. People need to evaluate if they're leaving negative comments on that one. But again, you know, people have their opinions, I guess.

[Josie]

Go find your own love.

[Morgan]

Go find your own love.

[Josie]

Yeah. Don't try to take other people's love down. That's what it feels like.

[Morgan]

I mean, out of vows. I've seen online. Those sound cute. I saw one person's vows that went viral where this guy was, like, promising to come inside her like a toaster strudel. Or like, he said something where he's like, I love the way you drain my balls. That was his vows in front of all of their family friends and, like, their kid.

[Josie]

That's a good pick, huh?

[Morgan]

That's crazy. You just want to, like, take a little cattle prod to him, like, zap him?

[Josie]

No, he'll fell on his own.

[Morgan]

Moving along, please. So this one is coming from R Wedding planning. It's two years old. And this is something that is a very, very big fear for a lot of brides. Okay, okay. Before we get into this story, I just want to let you know that it is brought to you guys by Ollie. And you'll see why in a second. Ollie knows that feeling hormonal is totally normal, but sometimes PMS is just not something you want to deal with, especially on your wedding day. That's where period hero comes in. It's designed to support PMS symptoms like bloating, mood swings, and breast tenderness. We're dealing with a lot on our wedding days, and the last thing you want to do is be ready to bite your partner's head off feeling like you're in pain, bloated. So, Ollie, period hero. And it plays into this next one.

[Josie]

Okay?

[Morgan]

It is titled, despite my best efforts I will be on my period on my wedding day. I did everything I could. My fiance and I talked about it and we agreed that if we could pick a date where I could not be on my period that it would be better. This wasn't solely for the obvious honeymoon related activities. I have pretty heavy periods. My dress is a line. I'm not worried about bleeding on the dress. I am terrified though that I'm going to look bloated in the pictures, be irritable the whole day, feel sweaty and gross and just all around not enjoy the day and the first couple or so days of the honeymoon. Originally, when picking a date I checked my app which I've used since 2021. I have a pretty regular cycle. The original projection for my cycle and period was the last week of June ovulation first week of July and to be clear for July 12, which is our wedding date, wouldn't start again until the week we got back from our honeymoon. When I logged my current period which started yesterday, it updated predictions and moved my period a whole two weeks putting it as the last fifth day being on July 12th. I don't understand because this period was one day late. This wouldn't be the end of the world quite yet as my fifth day is usually pretty light if anything at all. But I'm still currently only spotting and haven't truly began to fully bleed yet. Which makes me realize that the later it begins, the more it will be pushed back into July. I've never taken birth control and I don't plan to. My mom had terrible side effects on multiple different brands. My personal preference is to refrain. So any suggestions of starting birth control won't help. Lol. The more it gets pushed, the more likely I am to be on it for the entire honeymoon feeling pretty frustrated and disappointed. Reassurance or comforting words question mark? Any help question mark this is a real thing a lot of people getting married consider and think about.

[Josie]

I, I just can't fathom the fluctuation like that, especially when something's so regular. I mean have you had that experience where one day late and it dramatically changes the entire outlook?

[Morgan]

Oh yeah. Like I update it in my app and you see everything shift and like when we check on the app like ovulation and I'm like oh, are we in a safe zone? And I'm like oh, I didn't log my period so I logged my period and then it's like oh no, we're actually in a danger zone. Like it can really, it can really change, right?

[Josie]

But with how much that change just based on one day, how locked in is it that it's actually even going to happen, that that fifth day is going to line up with the wedding? I mean, is it all kind of up in the air?

[Morgan]

Yeah, it is. Especially considering stress can totally change your cycle. Like, if you're that stressed, you could be late. So I guess, like, for her and like any bride out there, because I was worried about this. Like, I got lucky. I started. I started my period literally, like the last day of our honeymoon. And it just timed up really, really well. But I was worried about this, like, feeling bloated, being crabby. Like, when I'm getting my period, I'm extra emotional. I'm mean, I'm crabby. I'm not happy. Like, I feel like I have that kind of insane pms. Like the really heightened version of it. So this period hero, I'm gonna try this. Like, this is probably gonna be my new best friend. So I don't bite your head off. Around Shark Week, I'm like, I need this. But for any bride out there, like, it could fluctuate. It could be bad. It could not come at all. You don't know. So I guess, like, it might be comforting for a lot of people to have something like this Ollie product, period hero on deck at, you know, in your emergency kit, just in case you do have your period?

[Josie]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, what other methods are there, like, if it's going to be inevitable, happening on that day? And that's just nature's course, right?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

What other things can you do? Is there is this kind of a new. A step in a new whole category here? Because, I don't know, ice packs, you use a heat pad every once in a while.

[Morgan]

Oh, when it's real bad. Yeah.

[Josie]

But what else really is there that you can do to at least make it the best possible it can be for that day?

[Morgan]

Period hero.

[Josie]

Yeah. No, that's what I mean. Like, what else really is there?

[Morgan]

I. There's not a lot out there. I mean, that's the one thing about women's health. It's like, it's kind of overlooked. Like, women were not a part of studies for so long because our hormones would negatively impact the studies on drugs. Like, they didn't even test car seat belts on women crash test dummies until recent years. Like, there's a whole book on it. So the fact that Ollie is, like, focused on women's health and like, period hero isn't just the only product they have. Like, they've got a bunch of other stuff for women. I just, like, I feel like it could be such, like, a saving grace for a lot of people out there. Like, not just wedding day.

[Josie]

Right, right.

[Morgan]

But, like, other events, too. Like, it still blows my mind that women have to go to work on their periods. Like, blows my mind. So to then have, like, something fun, like a big life event that's so fun. And to have your period, just like an added thing you don't want to have to worry about, especially if you get bad periods. Like, I've got friends that, like, go to the hospital basically every other period because their cramps are so bad and they have endo and they have all these other things like it. It's just nice knowing that there could be something out there to, like, help anything. Yeah, well, just help support your pms.

[Josie]

Well, as you're building up to a wedding, you're thinking, I think the biggest one is, I hope the weather's what we hope.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God, we were terrified about the weather.

[Josie]

Another one I kept thinking about is, I just don't want to be sick. I don't want to have that sore throat creep on the day before or the day of. I mean, how terrible of timing to get sick, which this kind of falls in that category because you can't control. You can only just react. And so, yeah, if there is a saving grace, which, you know, there are certain things you can take if you're feeling a cold. Come on. It's like, okay, what are the emergency things? Because we've read stories about that where I woke up the morning of my wedding, it was downpouring, and I started to feel like I was actually getting sick. Well, there's certain medications, things you can kind of take. The weather, I don't know, you go inside or there's a lot of umbrellas. So, yeah, what's the plan B here?

[Morgan]

Period hero.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I also think, like, thinking about your honeymoon, too. And I know it's like, oh, it's so frustrating if you're going to, like, a beach vacation and, you know, you don't want to have to have a tampon string potentially hang out of your swimsuit. Been there, done that. Cut your tampon strings. Not too far. You need a little. A little tug still. A little tugboat string. But cut them. Cut em. Because no matter if you tuck them up your butt, water can push that little string out. And then the next thing you know, you're on a paddle board with a tampon string hanging out and someone's Telling you about it. So cut it. But I think like, just like try to enjoy it. Don't stress. You know, your honeymoon is about typically for a lot of people, relaxing, de stressing after the wedding. So if you do have really bad cramps and you just need to sit in the room a day, that's fine. Like take it as a day to cuddle and have your partner look after you and just relax the best you can.

[Josie]

I think that's what a lot of honeymoons are all about, is relaxing. Because that's really what you need when you get through wedding planning and you get through the day itself. Because I think the, the day itself is amazing. It's so fun. But from.

[Morgan]

For you, hope that's the goal. Right? Like, if you haven't had that wedding day, be what you wanted. Like do a mulligan, do vow renewals. Do something. Get yourself a mulligan. Because it is so fun.

[Josie]

Well, either way, whether it's fun or it's terrible, you're going to need. You have to recover.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

I think, yes, planning a honeymoon, that's adventure and travel and crazy is cool. But I think you need to mix in a couple of spa days or.

[Morgan]

Beach days in there.

[Josie]

Because once you get to the other side, all you want to do is relax. Especially if it happens to line up with Shark Week.

[Morgan]

Shark Week.

[Josie]

And you know what? There's always towel time. And at a hotel.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Let's talk about towels.

[Josie]

You're not messing up your own towels at home. Have we ever toss them on the floor.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Have we ever talked about towel time?

[Josie]

Brand new.

[Morgan]

I don't know if we've ever introduced towel time on the pod.

[Josie]

Towel time's great.

[Morgan]

That's the other thing.

[Josie]

This is what it is.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Like, and you're at a, like a hotel. Like, you don't have to be self conscious. Like hotel people, they've seen it all. Trust me. I've. Where did I. I messed up a sheet. Amsterdam. I got my period in the middle of the night and it went through to the mattress pad. Like, also been there. I have really, really bad periods, you guys. But like, like, just don't be weird about having sex on your period. Like, that's so normal. And we've had stories like that where someone is like, my husband won't touch me on my period. Like, he's scared about getting blood on it.

[Josie]

Wild. Good luck.

[Morgan]

No, like, have the fun. Obviously you might not want to do certain activities, but like put a towel down under you. We call it towel time. You know when you're in the danger zone of Shark Week so you don't mess up your nice sheets or your mattress and just have some fun?

[Josie]

Sometimes it makes it better too, right?

[Morgan]

Yeah. I've heard people. You know those little puppy pads that people buy for potty training their dogs? I've heard people will use the puppy pads, especially if they're like, big into like lube and stuff.

[Josie]

Disturbs a lot.

[Morgan]

It's like waterproof.

[Josie]

Yeah. Save the sheets and save the towels, I guess.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Towel time.

[Josie]

Doesn't it also sometimes make, you know, the negative effects of a period better?

[Morgan]

It does.

[Josie]

Temporarily.

[Morgan]

I swear. I have really, really bad cramps. And then we'll do stuff and it's like healed. Healed. I don't know how.

[Josie]

At least for a little, right?

[Morgan]

I don't know how healed.

[Josie]

Well, who knows if that applies across the board.

[Morgan]

Oh my God. We just shared so much info with everyone. But hey, you know, periods are beautiful. Our cycles are beautiful, but everything that comes with it, like the bloating, mood swings, breast tenderness, not so beautiful. And Ollie gets that. Whether it's period hero for PMS support or love and libido. So you can get yours. Add to cart Ollie is wellness that shows up for women. You can find these supplements and more at any national retailer [e-mail] O L L Y.com these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Thanks, Ollie. Okay, onto this next one. This next one is coming from Am I the asshole? 13 days old. It is titled Am I the asshole for uninviting my sister in law from my wedding after she leaked my pregnancy.

[Josie]

Another leak.

[Morgan]

Another leak. I, 26, female, am 10 weeks pregnant. My partner, 28, male, and I told our immediate families early but made it very clear we weren't telling anyone else until after the first trimester. Last night, my fiance's sister, 29, female, posted a story on Instagram. It was a get ready with me for a family dinner we had last weekend. She then casually, indirectly talks about becoming an auntie. She tagged me and my fiance. I saw it when I got a notification that I was tagged. I had over 50 messages from distant friends and co workers before I could even process it. We hadn't even told our friends yet. I was totally mad. Called her screaming. She tried to say it was an accident and that she forgot and she was just teasing. I told her she was uninvited from our wedding. She cried my Future in laws are furious, saying I'm overreacting and ruining the family over a silly social media post. They say I should just be happy. People are excited my fiance is on my side. Am I the asshole?

[Josie]

No. But I don't know if it's being blown out of proportion, because once the dust settles, really, at the end of the day, what is the meaningful thing here? You know, I. It's tough because stuff does leak. You walk this fine line between. You want to tell close family so they don't feel that they were left out, and, you know, you want to share the excitement. It's hard to keep things that are really big like that to yourself. So you want to tell your mom, you want to tell your dad. You want to. You know, and you also don't want them to get to the first trimester and hear later on. You know, it's not about that, but you just want your people to know. And I think when you trust people with that, there's always a risk. Right. Because people slip. People tell people. Don't tell anyone else. Promise me you won't. And then that. Whatever.

[Morgan]

Yeah, Here.

[Josie]

In this case, it was a social media thing. Maybe it was a lapse. You know, just kind of happened out of her excitement. She didn't really think about. Doesn't feel malicious to me in the sense that she didn't say, this person's pregnant. She said, talking about becoming an aunt.

[Morgan]

And then tagged them in it.

[Josie]

I know, I know, I know.

[Morgan]

Like, come on.

[Josie]

I know. Yeah. So I don't know where it falls in that, but I. You know, I would have her at the wedding. I would make your point clear, but I wouldn't necessarily burn the bridge and blow everything up over this. Yeah, your call. But for me, it just feels like, yeah, it sucks, but there is some validity to what the other people are saying, and, like, everyone's just excited and, you know, this isn't the way you want it to come out, but it happened. So how do we go from here? Because we're not gonna go back and change it. I'm not saying don't be mad at her and not hold her accountable, but at the same time, take a step back and really look at what's in front of you. Really important day and really big things coming.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I mean, I don't think it was an accident. I don't think she just forgot. I think she wanted the satisfaction of being able to break that news. I mean, she posted it in a Get Ready with Me video. She seemingly recorded it Edited it, watched it back.

[Josie]

That's true.

[Morgan]

Still chose to talk.

[Josie]

Yeah. It's not like it's alive.

[Morgan]

Accidentally tagged them in it. No accidents. It's a pain in the ass to tag people and stuff. She knew what she was doing. She wanted to revel in the fact that she had this insider information and be the first to break it. And I think it's incredibly disrespectful to slip up and share someone's news. Yeah. Yeah. When they're not ready.

[Josie]

I agree.

[Morgan]

A lot of people don't do it out of. Let me keep this to myself. We're excited. We want to just soak this up. A lot of people wait and don't share until they're out of the first trimester. Just in case.

[Josie]

Sure, yeah.

[Morgan]

Just in case.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So it's one of those things that's, like, incredibly disrespectful because what if things did go south? What if it didn't work out? Then they have to explain to all these people they never would have had to do that if you weren't such a dumb fucking bitch.

[Josie]

Yes.

[Morgan]

So I do agree with you. I first, wholeheartedly not the asshole. Take some space. Let this cool down. Don't talk to her for a little bit. Yeah. Tell your friends how you want. Like, bring this back to being about you, your fiance, your baby, and kind of get some of that back. But, yeah, I agree. I wouldn't burn the bridge. I'd have her at the wedding. I'd make the seating chart and put her as far away from you as you can. You know, you get a little power with that seating chart. You can strategically place those people.

[Josie]

That's true.

[Morgan]

So, you know, put her at the boring table that that other girl had on her seating chart closest to the door.

[Josie]

I mean, I. I joke, but I. Ours is really tough. I don't think we had a boring table.

[Morgan]

No, we did.

[Josie]

But you just ended up. Our wedding was pretty intimate with family and friends. And the head table. Honestly, if you're there, you're special. Yeah, it's the seating. If you're back by the door, it's just because that's how the arrangement worked. It's not any less special.

[Morgan]

And invited you and wanted you there to celebrate their day. They mailed an invitation or got an invitation to you. Like, there's no bad table. Like, you are in the room.

[Josie]

Yeah, but maybe just, like, mess up her food order. Oh, she wanted chicken all, she gets beef. Oh, she has a dairy allergy. Oh, well, she gets milk Mm.

[Morgan]

Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. Not only did she go against your wishes, she also took away your joy of making that announcement yourselves. Not just that, but only 10 week. If something goes wrong. Hopefully OP had a pleasant and trouble free pregnancy. That will now be a huge list of telling a bunch of people. And if you forget someone, it's explaining over and over when someone texts how the pregnancy is going to. It's really rude when they made it clear they weren't telling anyone before, after trimester has passed just to put it out there.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Well.

[Josie]

And it reminds me, I guess, of when we did our engagement. And honestly, without really telling people, nobody posted anything without clearing it with us because they knew it was such a big deal for us to be able to tell.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

So I guess, yeah, it would feel. I'm just trying to relate to it because we haven't, you know, we haven't gotten to this stage yet.

[Morgan]

No.

[Josie]

And so I guess the more I think about it, the more it would be hard not to just go scorched earth the second this would happen because I would.

[Morgan]

I would freak out.

[Josie]

Like, I would feel so attacked. I would really feel attacked. I don't know why. I'm not necessarily violated. Yeah. Maybe I'm not my sassy self tonight.

[Morgan]

Ooh.

[Josie]

Because I was more kind of thinking from a bigger picture. But I think I positivity pretty, pretty, really upset right away.

[Morgan]

Well, and I know if like, this were me and you, you would go crazy, like, at bat for me if I was upset over this, like, I know you, and you wouldn't be the positive, like, pacifist in it. You'd be like, yeah, her.

[Josie]

Yeah, but maybe. But. Well, sure, maybe initially. But I do think I am good at coming around to look at the bigger picture.

[Morgan]

You do talk me off the ledges. Yeah, you're pretty good about that. But yeah, OP is not the asshole.

[Josie]

No.

[Morgan]

Overall vote was not the asshole. 13 days old. OP has since deleted their post.

[Josie]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say account. Everyone's deleting the account.

[Morgan]

No post has been deleted. But. Well, it's just weird because I can still see the post, but when I go to their account, there's no posts on their account.

[Josie]

Huh. Glitching.

[Morgan]

It. It could be glitching, but I'll keep an eye on the account and see if any update gets posted. I mean, it's 13 days old. It's pretty, pretty fresh. But we're gonna move on to this next one.

[Josie]

When did making plans get this complicated?

[Morgan]

It's Time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together.

[Josie]

Use polls to settle dinner plans, send.

[Morgan]

Event invites and pin messages so no.

[Josie]

One forgets mom's 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail].

[Morgan]

Your teen adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained, one who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive you notice an individual copy. Confident in their contradictions, they know the rules but behave as if they do not exist. New Teen the new fragrance by Miu Miu defined by you. This next one is coming from r Wedding Drama two months old titled My dad's new wife had an adult temper tantrum the whole day. So for some backstory, My dad is recently married to a woman that myself, my siblings and many members of my dad's family do not like. She has done some very hurtful things in the past year and is very controlling of my father and his contact with us. Anytime she doesn't get her way, she has an outburst and my dad takes the path of least resistance and just does what she says, even if it comes at the cost of hurting his kids. However, I decided to put all of that behind me and invite her to my wedding anyways, knowing sadly that my dad would likely not come to my wedding if she wasn't invited. I did, however, only ask that he come to the rehearsal as it would be only about 20 people and I didn't want any drama happening the night before the wedding. My dad agreed with that plan months ago, but then a week before the wedding called and said he wouldn't be there if she wasn't invited. I stood my ground and said that I would see them on the wedding day. That seemed to have set her off. She arrived in a bright red sparkly mini dress. Multiple guests were overheard asking, quote, who the stripper in the dress was. Cried before the ceremony started and refused to stand as my mom and dad walked me down the aisle, sulked and disappeared for family photos even though I was inviting her to be in them. Loudly said that she didn't want to eat any of this shitty food that was being served for dinner. This comment actually got my grandma, who never says a mean thing about anyone, to tell her that, quote, if she can't be respectful, then she needs to leave. Got into a fight with My dad and threw her drink. Kept disappearing to drink in her car and then reappearing just to sulk and cry in the corner. Luckily, none of the events impacted my night at all. I had the best day ever. Still trying to decide if and how to confront my dad about how concerning this behavior was.

[Josie]

It's honestly just kind of hilarious.

[Morgan]

Oh, I'm glad OP has a sense of humor, too.

[Josie]

Absolutely pathetic. Some people are, dude. And just the worst. Worst. Just side of humanity. Just like, come on. Where it can't be about anyone else but them, no matter what.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

And just to have this much emotion and anger and everything over someone that's not even your kid's wedding day.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Why are you crying? Crying and refusing to stand as OP's walking down the aisle.

[Josie]

What did she do to you? Why? How did she hurt your life so much? You know what I mean?

[Morgan]

I mean, it's an adult kid. Like, you're coming in and marrying this guy when all of his kids are seemingly grown. Like, how does him having kids threaten or negatively impact you?

[Josie]

I can't believe.

[Morgan]

Crazy. Just.

[Josie]

It's just unfathomable because I just can't ever imagine myself acting that way.

[Morgan]

No.

[Josie]

Or having that much feeling over nothing. It's just this jealousy, this weird competition that isn't even a competition. It's just these kids want to see their dad.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

It's not like they're competing with you. It's just so weird.

[Morgan]

I don't get that. I truly think, like, if you can't handle being a stepparent and you're jealous of someone's kids and you are upset that they have kids that aren't your kids, don't marry them, don't be with them. If you can't handle being a stepparent, don't be one. That's your choice. Like, oh, I fell in love, don't care, Move on.

[Josie]

But someone is like, it's gotta be all of them. You can't just fall in love with a part of someone.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

You need.

[Morgan]

If you're gonna commit, they're a dad as well. Yeah.

[Josie]

If you're gonna commit and truly love someone, you need to love them. And also the people around them. That's just as important.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Because if you. I mean, we see it a lot with the people trying to, you know, get someone isolated on their own and kind of. What's the term? Where they take them away from their friends and family?

[Morgan]

Isolate.

[Josie]

Isolate. And. Yeah.

[Morgan]

No, it's an abuse tactic. Yeah.

[Josie]

And that happens for sure. But if you're really genuinely there for someone and want to truly, fully love them, that includes their friends, their family, everyone they consider special to them and their kids, you know, especially so. I don't know, I don't know why this is so common. I don't know why people like to play these games and think that, oh, it's my kid's wedding day, but I'm gonna listen to my new crazy ass wife because I don't want to ruin things at home. So I'm gonna create this problem with my kid forever. It's so cool because they'll never forget it. But I do find it awesome that she had the best day ever. And it's absolutely hilarious that she had the best day ever. And this woman is doing all this shit.

[Morgan]

Like, she's miserable. She's miserable. I love that. I love that OP really embraced the be a duck in this. Like, didn't ruin my night. I had the best day ever still. And that was me and you. Like, if you're over on Patreon, you will see a quip I posted. But we went through some very, very, very similar family drama before our wedding. My dad, love him, is dating someone new and just got a little goofy and at one point was like, I'm not coming to the wedding. And just like, not, not being himself, like just being so goofy. And it's hard to know where that's coming from. Whatever feeling on the feeling wheel, he wants to narrow that down. But he bucked up, he showed up, he was perfect. Went to the rehearsal dinner, went to the wedding. His girlfriend did not come, even though she was invited. This whole thing, I don't. I just. All over nothing, all, all for nothing. Like, it's just this goofy thing. And like, it started out kind of in a similar way where we were really tight on rehearsal dinner numbers and I was like, she's welcome to come to the wedding, but like, as of right now, we don't have room. If that changes and she's in Duluth, she'll come. And he threw a fit and just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Josie]

But, you know, just caused us. Really all we ended up with is mountains of stress for the few weeks leading up to the wedding, the two months leading up to the wedding.

[Morgan]

I mean, it was really sad. It was really just like unfortunate that he was being like, very dramatic in that moment. But, I mean, she didn't end up coming. And it was, it was great. Like, my dad was more present either way. It's like, it was perfect.

[Josie]

What's the point.

[Morgan]

Paid for her meal, but, you know, whatever.

[Josie]

We ate it the next night.

[Morgan]

Yeah, we did have leftovers, but I just think it's. It's times like that where, like, family can come out of the woodwork. Even people you don't expect. Like, if you'd have asked us before we really got into wedding planning and, like, all of this stuff, like, who's going to create drama on your day? I would not have picked my dad. And so it can bring out interesting stuff in the least likely culprits. Like, it's just.

[Josie]

It's very surprising, you know, on the day, everything was awesome.

[Morgan]

It was. It was perfect. He was great.

[Josie]

So I didn't hear about any drama.

[Morgan]

No. No.

[Josie]

So you know how people wait to tell you? Like, they're not gonna tell you on your day. No, but they'll let you tell you until, like, you're back from your honeymoon. There was nothing. My grandma had, like, a little health scare leading up to it. The week of that. I found out after, but other than that, there was nothing. Like, oh, blah, blah, blah. Got into a fight, and they stormed off.

[Morgan]

No, I haven't heard anything either.

[Josie]

Nothing.

[Morgan]

Now I'm like, I'm gonna have to text everyone, be like, did anything happen that I missed out on? Yeah, what happened? What do you think about this person, though? Like, we. We did kind of, like, talk to my dad. Like, we really kind of did confront him and, like, kind of hash through things a bit. Should this person even bother?

[Josie]

It feels like they've been down this road many times. It. It just. What I took from this story is that it's built up over time. We already know exactly who the new wife is and how she thinks of them. We. You know, they mentioned how dad will just run off and take the easy route when it hurts his kids. So they're. They've been down this road. They know what this is, and they're affected by it. It's not gonna change. He's not gonna change. I'm sure they've had the conversation. So at this point, I would just say, man, that's a crazy story to tell. From the wedding, I had a great time, and from here on out, I don't know if dad wants to come hang out with me. Cool. But I'm not going out of my way to invite him, which basically includes her to anything. But if he wants to work on our relationship, great. Otherwise, I'm just going about my life, enjoying my new married life, and continue forth.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I agree with that. And so does the Top comment. Top comment says he knows what she is, but he gets to fuck a stripper in a red sparkly dress. That's all he's thinking. Don't confront him. Just let him know that when she takes all his money, he can't live with you. Oh, I like it. Next comment. Sadly, this is the answer. This dad is thinking with the wrong brain. Next comment. That implies that two brains exist where none does. Yeah.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

This comment says, to quote the legendary English madam Cynthia Payne, when the balls are full, the brain is empty. Damn.

[Josie]

Graphic.

[Morgan]

Very. Like, another constructive comment is just, I wouldn't invite this woman to any other event I promoted. And if my father got upset, that's his problem.

[Josie]

Yeah, it literally is.

[Morgan]

Another one is, I'm sure he knows you had a great day. Be glad and move on. Far away from her.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And honestly, like, this is your dad's circus. Let him deal with it. Like, he knows who he's married to. He can't have had fun with that. Like, there's no way. Like, let him just revel in his misery.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

That is them and their relationship.

[Josie]

What is true. He's choosing.

[Morgan]

He's choosing.

[Josie]

You're not gonna tell him not to. He's an adult. He's doing what he wants. Fine.

[Morgan]

Gonna do his thing. But okay, I've got one last one for us here and then we are out of here. Because it's late. It's time for bed. We're still very jet lagged from.

[Josie]

I feel like every ending like this that has to do with the wedding because this feels like, you know, the episode after the wedding. Yeah, it feels like another door closing on our wedding. It just feels like it's all over and it's done forever.

[Morgan]

We are going to do a wedding theme over on Patreon.

[Josie]

Oh. This episode is brought to you by White Claw Search. Great podcast pick, friend. No surprises there. After all, you're all about finding the tastiest flavors out there. Just like White Claw Surge. And with big, bold flavors to enjoy like blood orange, BlackBerry, cranberry and more, it's time to go all in on taste. Unleash the flavor. Unleash White Cloth Surge. Please drink responsibly. Hard seltzer with flavors. 8% alcohol by volume. White Cloth Seltzer Works, Chicago, Illinois. Upgrade your laundry routine with a durable and reliable Maytag laundry pair at Lowe's. Like the new Maytag washer and dryer with performance enhanced stain fighting power designed to cut through serious dirt and grime. And what's great. Is this laundry Paris? In stock and ready for delivery when you need it the most. Don't miss out. Shop Maytag in store or online today at Lowe's.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Great. So it's not over.

[Josie]

The wedding's not over.

[Morgan]

Over. Okay, so I'm giving you a choice on this last one. The other option will be going over to Patreon. Okay.

[Josie]

With me.

[Morgan]

With you. We're doing a full wedding theme over there. Probably gonna get a lot more tea spilled. You know, I gotta. Gotta keep it a little tidy over here. Okay, so this first option.

[Josie]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Help the moms of the bride and groom are ccing me on their war over the invitations. Or option two. My husband got jealous over the girl he let on for years at our wedding.

[Josie]

I think I'm gonna have to go with number two.

[Morgan]

Number two?

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay. My husband got jealous over the girl he led on for years at our wedding. I, 25, female, got married to my now husband, 24, male. We'll call him Jim. A week ago, after dating for two and a half years, Jim has a friend called Misha, 22, female, who was invited to the wedding. He and Misha have known each other since high school and were close friends. And Misha had a very obvious crush on Jim, from what he and others who know them have told me. Jim told me this after I met Misha for the first time and confessed that he leaned into her crush and led her on throughout their high school years and for a little while after, before we got together because he was struggling with his mental health and he really liked her attention. He seemed genuinely guilty about all of this because he thought Misha was a nice girl and a good friend. And because he showed guilt. I didn't feel the need to bring it up or argue about it despite thinking it was a shitty thing to do. Plus, Misha is a nice girl who has never overstepped boundaries and has been nothing but kind and friendly towards me. And I now consider her a friend too. Misha moved away to the city last year and has done really well for herself and has a long term boyfriend who none of us have met yet. So when it came to sending wedding invites, I told her she was welcome to bring him as her plus one. The first red flag came when Jim was weirdly resistant to the idea of Misha bringing her boyfriend. But he excused it on being concerned about the number of guests we invited. And then the matter was dropped. When the wedding day came, Misha showed up in this beautiful dress. Nothing inappropriate for a wedding and with her boyfriend on her arm, who I'll admit is a very handsome guy, think Kit Harrington type. She's also lost weight and has a haircut that suits her better, and I thought she looked great. We also found out throughout the night that her boyfriend and is very successful and earns more than practically anyone else who attended. Throughout the reception, I noticed Jim glaring at Misha and her boyfriend the whole time. And he was really cold and short towards her when she came over to congratulate us and give us a gift. He was also straight up kind of rude to her boyfriend when Misha introduced us to him. When his mom, who's always known and liked Misha, mentioned that she was glad Misha found a great guy and praised her boyfriend for being so nice, Jim snapped that quote. At least she won't be desperate and hung up on me for the rest of her life. Which I thought was cruel and uncalled for. But I didn't challenge him because I didn't want to argue at my wedding, despite the fact that he frankly sounded bitter. The whole thing has left an awful taste in my mouth. And I can't help but think that Jim got jealous that Misha has found a guy who's honestly quite a catch, who she's clearly very in love with and is now completely over Jim.

[Josie]

Wow.

[Morgan]

That's the post.

[Josie]

Wow. I wonder if it's captured in any of the wedding photos. The happy couple. And then she's, like, on his arm and he's just, like, staring this way, which this is really tough because he obviously liked the thought of someone out.

[Morgan]

There pining over him.

[Josie]

Yes. And weirdo even having that still, like, oh, I'm the man I'm going to. You know, not that he's cheating, but he just likes that feeling, I guess.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

And so now that person's gone because it makes you start to wonder, did he like that? Maybe not that he was gonna actively cheat, but it's, like, always a backup option that's out there. Or is it simply just the attention of having someone out there that wants you but can't have you? You know, what is it that I wonder he likes about that? Because obviously he could have chosen her if he wanted to back in the day.

[Morgan]

I know. Cause, like, he could have dated her.

[Josie]

Yes.

[Morgan]

And so is it truly him just, like, being deeply insecure where he likes that ego boost, that someone out there is obsessed with him? Oh, she likes me and I'm too good for her. Like, what is it deep down that he gets off on that. Yes. How about that attention.

[Josie]

But I will say I think I'm getting an annulment after that.

[Morgan]

I mean, I would.

[Josie]

You spent your the entire wedding night staring weird and fixating on this. And then you're going to snap when your mom brings it up and you're going to be rude to him and not really give her the time of day when she showed up to support you on your day.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Because she think it's probably not the easiest thing, especially for her in the past to think, one day I'm gonna go to his wedding and I have to watch him marrying someone else. She's moved on. She still showed up to support her friend.

[Morgan]

So happy for her.

[Josie]

She's got a great situation. I just can't believe that this took center stage on the wedding day.

[Morgan]

He's a deeply insecure man.

[Josie]

And man.

[Morgan]

Deeply, deeply insecure.

[Josie]

I. It's.

[Morgan]

Or self centered. Is that like an extremely self centered, egotistical, like I would love a psychologist to chime in and be like, what is this about? Top comment. I think I would have to take a step back from a hubby and see if there were any other red flags you've missed. He was jealous of this woman and her boyfriend on your wedding day. All caps. I cannot imagine how much this hurt you. I am so sorry.

[Josie]

It's a nightmare.

[Morgan]

It is. Next comment. How he admitted to treating that girl was the red flag and OP entirely overlooked it. Basically, he was okay using someone to meet his own needs and feed his ego for years. How exactly did OP think that makes for a good husband? But that's the other problem. Way too young, in my opinion to be getting married anyways. Which, I mean, they're not that young. Next comment. Dude, right? Years. Years he spent stringing her along. I'm so proud of Misha. Misha. I don't know. Sorry for her perceived happiness. I hope it's genuine. Also, can you imagine just that, that thing he said at the wedding when the mom was like, I'm so happy she's found a nice guy. And at the wedding he goes, at least she won't be desperate and hung up on me for the rest of her life?

[Josie]

Yeah, sure. Cause that's exactly what you want.

[Morgan]

Then why are you mad? If she's so desperate, why are you acting mad and sad and dejected when you're getting married to someone you love? Question mark, Right?

[Josie]

No, it's.

[Morgan]

It's freak.

[Josie]

There's that. That whole situation's not gonna work out. But I don't really really hope this isn't the case, and I'm not thinking it is, but what if she went and found the best possible option to play her boyfriend or to show up as her date or to, you know, get. Convince some other guy to go to a wedding with her?

[Morgan]

There's a lot of movies on.

[Josie]

This will make him jealous and get his attention all night long because she's been hung up on him forever. Yeah, she won't move on. So what's. What's she got to do? Wedding day is the last stand, man. I got to find the best possible person to bring with me to get him to stare at me all night and be jealous and then cause a breakup in the relationship. Then, you know, we were talking like, oh, we're op. We're going to get an annulment. There you go. You just. You just got her out of the way. So now. Now the door is open again. Now he might all of a sudden, you know, he just lost his love because he was staring at you all night. That relationship's done. And now you also randomly break up with the guy, show up on his front doorstep and say, I broke up with him. I know he's perfect. He makes all this money. He treats me great, and he looks amazing, like Kit Harrington. But I'm choosing you. I just broke up with him for you.

[Morgan]

Hell no.

[Josie]

And I'm on your front doorstep. Let's make this official. That should have been our wedding, and now we're going to have it.

[Morgan]

No. Hell no. Misha. Misha is so much better off. But this. There's many Netflix movies, movies, Hallmark movies on this plot of, like, going to a wedding with a hot date. One old movie, similar vibes. It's from 2005. It's called the Wedding Date. It's with Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney. Mulroney. He dates Jess in New Girl. He's the hot old guy forgetting his name. What are the movies is he in? He's also in My Best Friend's Wedding.

[Josie]

Hot old guy.

[Morgan]

Well, he's older now. My Best Friend's Wedding. Anything Julia Roberts, wedding related? Runaway Bride. My best friend's wedding she's into is really good. The Wedding Date Table 19 is a hidden gem of a wedding movie. It's with Anna Kendrick. Super good.

[Josie]

I like that title. That's cool.

[Morgan]

Table 19. Yeah. It's mentor that all these people get put at the misfit table and they share this amazing time. It's great movie. Great movie.

[Josie]

I like that. That's a great Idea.

[Morgan]

Yeah. If you've got any other wedding movies, please put them in the comments. I'm like trying to just like soak up any wedding.

[Josie]

What's the one in Alaska?

[Morgan]

Wedding movie. Oh, the Proposal. Oh, and Betty White's in it. Great movie.

[Josie]

That's top tier.

[Morgan]

Great movie. Any, honestly, any, like, good romance rom com movies, please send them my way. I'm gonna go home and watch Penelope tonight with Christina Richie. That's like. I think it's Christina Richie. That's one of my favorites.

[Josie]

So you're supporting my case? You know, the more I sit here and think about it, I think that's what she did.

[Morgan]

You think? Yep. I don't.

[Josie]

You know why? Because we've all seen those movies and I bet she watches all of them. I bet she has a subscription to every service so she can watch all those movies.

[Morgan]

I'm thinking she's in love.

[Josie]

I really. I do hope so. I will say I do hope so. I hope she's moved on and found someone better than him because he's kind of a lost cause at this point. I feel really bad for OP. I know, but I'm really starting to think that that was the play and I want.

[Morgan]

I don't think so.

[Josie]

If it goes this way, I'm not wishing this into existence. But if it goes this way, I want an update. And I want the update to say I ended things with him. And then she. Misha. Misha ended things with Mr. Perfect Kit Harington. And she showed up on his door and bum, bum, bum. Cliffhanger.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Josie]

Will they end up together?

[Morgan]

I hope she ends up with the nice guy who's not an insecure freak.

[Josie]

We don't know enough about him.

[Morgan]

Kit Harrington look alike because he sounds hot.

[Josie]

We don't know enough about him.

[Morgan]

I also will say I watched the Materialists and I really, really, really had high hopes because, God, what an all star cast. Chris Evans, Dakota Johnson and Pedro Pascal. You did me dirty on that movie.

[Josie]

Botchboard.

[Morgan]

Botched board.

[Josie]

Wow.

[Morgan]

So we do have a half update. There's a little bit of a comment at the end of the post. After getting some private messages from people, I decided to go through his phone while he was napping after work. And needless to say, this marriage is over. I'll post a real update when I.

[Josie]

Have sorted everything out and you're still doubting me. There was part one. That's the first thing that needs to happen now. All she needs to do not Op. Misha needs to break up with her guy. And it's all.

[Morgan]

It's okay. Let's get to the actual update.

[Josie]

Oh, there's more. I thought she said it was coming.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it. We have it. Yeah, we're ready. Hey, everyone. I'm posting here because I said in my last post that I would update when I'm able to. Pretty much the day after my original post, I got some PMs from people suggesting that I go through my husband Jim's phone to see if he and Misha were truly just friends before this and that nothing romantic happened between them. That would explain his reaction at the wedding. He always takes a 45 minute nap after work, and so I used that as my opportunity to swipe his phone from where it was charging on his desk so that I could look through it. I've seen him put his passcode in a ton of times, so that wasn't an issue. I didn't find anything in his text with her, but I know that Jim goes on Instagram a lot, so I checked there too. The immediate red flag was that he'd used an app lock that required a passcode to access Instagram, but the dumbass used the same passcode that he uses to unlock his phone, so I got into that right away. It's his birth year. Go figure.

[Josie]

Nice.

[Morgan]

And what would you know? I go to his messages with Misha and find messages from him the morning after our wedding telling her how beautiful she'd looked that night, how much he had missed her, how he felt that her boyfriend being there spoiled his opportunity to catch up with her, and that he was desperate to meet up with her. I never would have guessed.

[Josie]

I would have. I did. It's on camera.

[Morgan]

Misha never replied to these messages, and he sent some more later to her that day. I won't get into what he said because they were very personal insults that were, frankly, just gross. But just think about the kind of stuff you would read on that Nice Guys subreddit. Misha left him on red, and when I clicked on her account, it appears that she's blocked him. I scrolled through their messages quite far back, and I believe nothing romantic has happened between them. I wish that was all. But looking in his other conversations on Instagram, I found that he's been messaging other girls on there. They seemed like aspiring Instagram model types from our area. Most of these conversations were just him shooting his shot and getting left on red, but others had evolved into flirting, and two of them resulted in sexting.

[Josie]

Dang. Right there on Instagram, huh? Wow.

[Morgan]

And the most Embarrassing part of it all. The nudes he was sending to these women weren't even of him. I know what his body looks like, and he doesn't have chiseled abs and isn't that well endowed. I think he must have found a man's profile on some adult website and used those pictures. Just cropping the face out. These two conversations happened in the past six months.

[Josie]

I ended up right during wedding planning.

[Morgan]

Right during wedding planning. I ended up texting his mom and his brother from my phone, asking them to come and pick him up from the apartment. And then I went to wake him up. I told him that I knew about the girls he was messaging on Instagram and that he needed to pack a bag and get the hell out before I started throwing his stuff out on the street and causing a scene. He started crying and begging me to not kick him out and swore that they were just messages and that he would never actually cheat on me. But I don't believe him for a second. Then he had the nerve to tell me that he didn't want me to tell anyone else about what he'd done, but I had left the room and started ignoring him by that point. He left with his mom and brother and is staying there. From what I know, I've blocked him on everything for the time being until I'm ready to tell him that I'm seeking annulment. Thankfully, where I'm from, you can get one almost no questions asked, as long as you haven't been married for longer than 30 days. And I've already looked into the process. I haven't really left my apartment at all this week, and I've been calling in sick to work because I don't feel I can face people. I'm just so embarrassed that I've wasted over two years on this man and that I married him in the first place. I don't feel like I could even talk to people about this, so posting here has helped and I'd like to thank you all for your kind words, advice, and support. I might reach out to Misha when the dust has settled, but I think I'll need to build up some courage for that.

[Josie]

Dang. Yeah, that's tough because then, you know, you probably took off time from work prior. You've been building it up with everyone. Oh, I'm getting married. It's coming in two weeks.

[Morgan]

I mean, talk. Think about it. To everyone.

[Josie]

Well, that's been our conversation for months. And honestly, a year.

[Morgan]

I know. I'm kind of ready to move to the Next chapter. I'm really. I loved it. I loved it. I want to plan more weddings for fun because I loved it. But I'm. I'm excited.

[Josie]

But everyone's going to be asking, first day you get back, you know, to work, how was the wedding? Oh my God.

[Morgan]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Josie]

That's all you're going to have. And you just have to face that with. I mean, you have a kick ass story. I understand it's incredibly emotional and terribly heartbreaking and just probably the worst you could possibly feel because I've been through breakups, but not literally right after the wedding. I mean, can you imagine? So I feel for her. I really do. Kind of shocked on the whole Misha situation, so I was half right. But you know, I'm sure we're all.

[Morgan]

Curious, but we do have one final update. Oh, this update is coming four months after the original post. Hi everyone. I just thought I'd give an update to my situation since I still get messages of support on here every week or so. You'll be glad to hear that I was able to get the annulment and I didn't have to go through a messy divorce with Jim. I struck an agreement with him that I wouldn't tell a soul about his cheating or what happened with Misha and would leave him alone forever if he agreed to the annulment and got it over quickly. I did end up sticking to my end of the bargain, but it ended up not mattering because it turns out his brother is quite the gossip and let the cat out of the bag over Christmas after getting into an argument with Jim while drunk. A lot of Jim's family were pissed and asked for the money they contributed to his half of the wedding fund back and some of our mutual friends have cut contact with him. A couple of our friends plastered everything on Facebook and humiliated him.

[Josie]

Nice.

[Morgan]

It was interesting to watch the back and forth between them and Jim. Honestly. I lived in our apartment and covered the rent on my own while he lived at his parents until the lease ended back in January. And now I'm living with my dad and I plan to stay here for a while and take things easy. Yeah, in January I also tried reaching out to Misha via text, asking if she'd like to meet up for coffee to talk about anything. I never got a response directly from her, but a few days later I got a call from her number and it was her boyfriend on the other end. He said they were both sorry for what had happened to me and that they hope I'm doing Well, but that Misha thought it was best to cease any contact, as this whole ordeal had made her anxiety and and mental health problems spiral and had landed her back in therapy. I did ask why she never told me that Jim had messaged her the day after the wedding and her boyfriend confessed that he advised her not to get involved and his direct words were, quote, I'm sorry to sound rude, but it's not her circus. I'm a little disappointed that she doesn't want to talk to me, but I get where she's coming from and I can't force her to do anything. To be honest, I think she's been looking for a way to divorce herself from our hometown and the people she knew and Jim back in high school for a while now. As for me, I'm also in therapy as I want to sort through these feelings and get back to feeling good about myself again before I even think about entering the dating scene again. I've also been firm about ending friendships with anyone who's taken Jim's side, as I don't want him finding his way into my life again. So far, he stayed away from me and hasn't tried to contact me, although his mom reached out over Christmas to ask me if there was any chance I might forgive Jim and take him back, as in her opinion, quote, you two are just meant to be together. I didn't respond to her and I've blocked her on pretty much everything now too. Thank you again for all your kind words and support. I'm certain leaving that asshole would have been harder for me had I not had hundreds of comments backing me up. Yeah, yeah. Good job, Op. Yup.

[Josie]

Hey, four months in, slowly but surely get all back to normal.

[Morgan]

Well, and like, moral of the story with this one is like, even if you go through the wedding day, like, if you feel it's not right, don't keep going forward. Like, OP was like, I'm so sad I wasted two years of my life and blah, blah, blah, blah. But, like, what is it if you, like, marry someone and then you're, you know, not feeling it or something's off red flags. And then you go two more years and then you still are in the same spot you were and now you've wasted seven years or nine years or 11 years. Like, it's. What's that saying? It has to do with trees, but it kind of fits this vibe. It's like the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is today. It's kind of like that with relationships like, don't let the sunken cost fallacy get you. Move on.

[Josie]

Yeah. One I will say too, I think a lot of times the gut reaction when something ends is, oh, well, I've wasted seven years, but you really haven't. I mean, you know, there's a lot of things you might look at differently because of the cheating and what was going on at certain times, but really there had to have been some good times and you had an experience, you got to know someone very closely, you got to have all these experiences with them. And really if it all was, you know, kind of a sham or on a crap foundation, then you grew. In some ways you learned something, you took something out of it. I don't think the time is ever truly wasted. It's just the journey for you to really find that right person. And yeah, maybe it meant having a 10 year relationship that blew up at the end and felt like a waste, but whatever that was is leading you down the right path to that right person. And you wouldn't find them if you didn't have that. So yes, I get the reaction, but you know, it's not wasted. You just got to work through it and keep on moving on. There's only so much you can do with dwelling on the past and sure, you can learn things from it, but if you really dwell on on it, nothing good's ever going to come from it. You just got to look forward and keep moving forward. Otherwise you're, you're going to waste more time dwelling on the time you think you wasted. And so you're just going to dig yourself deeper.

[Morgan]

Just forward, forward, forward and onward and better. And have a good wedding. But more importantly, have a good marriage. If that's what you're, you're going for a good life and for op.

[Josie]

Have a good second wedding. Kick ass. I can't wedding, dude.

[Morgan]

I want to have another one. It was so fun.

[Josie]

Like, well, not in that sense.

[Morgan]

No, like to you, but I literally, like, I see why people do vow renewals. Like, I didn't get it, but now I get it. I'm like, that was so fun.

[Josie]

I want to change my vows though. No, like, I want to keep them the exact same.

[Morgan]

Well, you just like keep updating over time. But they're, they're, they're really good.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Maybe we'll include a picture of them or something. Or. Well, I guess they'll be in the wedding video.

[Josie]

We could do a Patreon segment where we read our vows to each other.

[Morgan]

No, I don't want to read them again. I could not stop crying. That was the one thing about the wedding day. I took a beta blocker. Those are magical. Those are amazing. Loved the beta blocker.

[Josie]

How do you. What do you think it would have been like without it?

[Morgan]

Worse. Crying. More. But like I just felt like on the brink of tears the whole day. Like, I was just so emotional. I was so excited. I was so like in my feels that I just like, I just.

[Josie]

Yeah, it is.

[Morgan]

Couldn't stop crying.

[Josie]

It's a crazy combination of feelings.

[Morgan]

It's such a crazy amount of feelings. But we'll talk more about our wedding over on Patreon. I. I want to.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Not bore people too much. Do you have one little palette cleanser? Okay. This is coming from R Weddingshaming. It's titled I can't believe this guest wore white to my wedding.

[Josie]

Did we have. We didn't have any. Did we?

[Morgan]

No.

[Josie]

Did you notice anyone?

[Morgan]

We've read so many of them that.

[Josie]

I'm saying at ours. Did you notice any. No, because remember we were talking about that.

[Morgan]

Not one person in white.

[Josie]

I didn't even think about it the day of.

[Morgan]

No, I didn't see.

[Josie]

We're have to look through the photos.

[Morgan]

I didn't see anyone in white.

[Josie]

We didn't have to look through photos.

[Morgan]

No, I was looking at people.

[Josie]

Oh, you were. You were scanning.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I was looking at people. We were totally fine. Okay. So that's the title. I can't believe this guest wore white to my wedding.

[Josie]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And they go, but it's okay because he was our ring bearer and wore it very well. And it's a picture of an all white dog.

[Josie]

He didn't even wear white.

[Morgan]

He is white.

[Josie]

Yeah, he's just bright white fur. Look at that.

[Morgan]

He is white. Very cute.

[Josie]

It's like Ghost.

[Morgan]

It does look like Ghost the dog from Game of Thrones. That's all I got. Friends I'm gonna give you.

[Josie]

That gets a pass.

[Morgan]

That definitely gets a pass. He's a good boy.

[Josie]

You have to spray paint him before the wedding.

[Morgan]

Like that.

[Josie]

That dog spray.

[Morgan]

Do the dog spray and like what they can do? Make poodles look like tigers. It's crazy, but we're headed over to Patreon. I'm going to give you a sneak peek of some of the stories we're going to read. Am I the asshole for telling people the real reason why I skipped my friend's wedding? Am I the asshole for not canceling my plans to attend my sister's wedding? One of my husband's friends made me uncomfortable at our wedding, but it's my own fault. Am I the asshole for telling my friend that her free wedding is unrealistic? And last, but probably not least, trigger warning for infertility. This one is titled, my Fiance Used My Infertility Story for His Best Man's Wedding Speech. Yeah, it's gonna be a doozy of an episode. I hope to see you guys over there. October is gonna have some really, really fun bonus content. Wedding episode. A spooky episode and then a surprise. I don't know what the heck it's going to be yet, but very excited to have you all over there. Thank you so much for being here. You really allowed us to have our dream wedding. All of your support, it means the absolute world to us. And we appreciate you guys. And I'm really excited for you to see our wedding photos and videos. I think by this point, we should have a picture up on Instagram. So if you want to see the dresses and our amazing wedding, head over there. Any final, final thoughts? Final notes?

[Josie]

Oh, so good. I'm just, like, admiring you doing your thing.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay, cool.

[Josie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay. Okay. Until next time, guys.

[Josie]

Until next time.

[Morgan]

Bye.

[Josie]

Bye.