240: Bruh..

Summary

Two Hot Takes — Episode 240: Bruh..

Release Date: October 30, 2025
Host: Morgan Absher
Co-host: Lauren
Theme: Internet "Bruh" Moments — from wild relationship drama to ethical dilemmas, Morgan and Lauren dissect a fresh batch of jaw-dropping and thought-provoking stories found on Reddit and from listeners.

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

This episode takes its title from the versatile slang "bruh," representing moments of disbelief, surprise, disappointment, or just plain absurdity. Morgan and Lauren dive into stories that left them speechless—ranging from moral gray areas to straight-up outrageous behavior—underpinning the idea that sometimes all you can say is: "bruh."

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INTRO CHAT & OFF-TOPIC BANTER

• Catch-up on Personal Lives (00:06 – 04:50)
  • Morgan and Lauren reunite after a month and a half.
  • Lauren reveals she bought her first new car in eight years, prompting reminiscing about her ancient Toyota:

    "Lauren had this old little Toyota… It like didn’t lock anymore. It was time." — Morgan (01:07)

  • Morgan shares details about her "mini moon" to Iceland & a trip to London to watch the Vikings with her new husband’s grandpa.
  • Discovering the UK TV show "Naked Attraction," Morgan is scandalized by its unabashed nudity:

    "They zoom up … they, like, talk in, like, detail about these people’s labias and clits and their penises…" — Morgan (03:21) "[Europe is] more comfortable with nudity, which I’d prefer that. I’d prefer us being chill with nudity and not showing some of the stuff we show on TV here, like violence." — Morgan (04:31)

  • The episode’s theme “bruh” is introduced, reflecting the hosts’ stunned reactions to life and internet finds.

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"BRUH" IN ACTION

1. AITA: Stopping a Man From Scamming a Widow

[09:25 – 19:02]

• Story Recap:
  A Redditor saw a man loudly lowball a newly widowed elderly woman ($200) for her late husband’s quality golf equipment (worth at least $1,000+). The OP intervened, informed her of the true value, and the man stormed off, cussing OP out. OP’s coworkers mocked them for not letting the guy get his "deal".
• Key Discussion Points:
  • Both hosts fiercely defend OP’s intervention, condemning the would-be scammer and coworkers' lack of empathy.
  • Reference to "What Would You Do?" hidden camera show and the importance of standing up for others, especially the vulnerable.
  • Lauren acknowledges social fear can inhibit good actions, but praises OP for putting integrity first.

    "To protect someone who’s vulnerable and being taken advantage of… it’s extremely admirable when somebody does do something." — Lauren (15:01)

• Memorable Quote:

  "Damned are we. The day we mistake our own kindness for weakness, then the worst of us will have truly won." — Reddit Comment, read by Morgan (18:18)

2. True Off My Chest: Husband Says “I Hate You” During Intimacy

[19:25 – 28:06]

• Story Recap:
  A woman shares her hurt after her husband, with whom she’d just discussed not feeling loved, leaned in during sex to whisper "I hate you"—twice. He defended it as “dirty talk” and dismissed her pain.
• Key Discussion Points:
  • Morgan and Lauren react with horror, noting the power imbalance and ambiguity in his intent.
  • Redditors warn this is emotional abuse; OP reveals this is part of a larger pattern of disrespect and isolation.

    "It did make me feel pretty unsafe." — OP in Reddit reply, read by Morgan (26:18)

  • Discussion shifts to safety and the importance of exit planning in potentially abusive situations.

3. AITA: Mom Wants Daughter to Stop Leukemia Treatment for Sister’s Tuition

[30:04 – 44:00]

• Story Recap:
  Shocking letter: A 19-year-old fighting leukemia shares that her mother has asked her to stop treatment so the family can afford her younger sister’s Ivy League tuition. The mother backs her request with a Bible verse, “greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends,” and references Jesus as her guiding authority.
• Key Discussion Points:
  • Both hosts are appalled. Morgan: “Your mom should be dead to you, like your mom wants you to be dead to her. Is that fucked up to say?” (35:21)
  • Advice for OP: seek independent insurance, redirect life insurance beneficiaries, contact social workers and advocates.
  • Discussion about the importance of formalizing power of attorney and advance care directives.
• Notable Exchange:

  "It’s beyond cruel… she’s probably diagnosable." — Morgan (41:23)

• Memorable Quote:

  “Seriously, fuck your family. Create a GoFundMe… This woman needs to be publicly shamed.” — Lauren (37:01–37:13)

• Resource Tips: (38:35 – 43:41)
  • Medicaid eligibility at 19
  • Hospital social workers as advocates
  • Removal as a tax dependent to qualify for assistance

4. THT Subreddit: Boyfriend Secretly Keeps a “Strike System”

[44:25 – 51:06]

• Story Recap:
  A woman finds her boyfriend tracking her “offenses” in his phone: being late, not laughing at his joke, buying herself flowers. The system assigns “strikes”; at 15, he’d “reconsider the relationship.” When confronted, he argues it keeps things “fair,” as she’s “emotional and forgets” her actions.
• Key Discussion Points:
  • Immediate consensus: RUN.
  • Lauren:

    "That's like… not breakup material. That's, like, breakup-with-a-restraining-order material!" (45:52)

  • Mockery of the points system; comparison to unhealthy “ick lists.”
• Best Comment:

  “Start a physical list, make him watch you write ‘made weird list — minus 15 points’ and then leave his ass.” (50:57)

5. Depop "Full Circle Moment": The Divorce Lawyer Accidentally Dating His Client’s Wife

[53:14 – 69:00]

• Story Recap:
  A divorce attorney starts dating a woman named Sarah, only to discover she is the wife of his client Dave—during a four-way divorce settlement meeting. They’re both shocked; the lawyer withdraws from the case.
• Key Discussion Points & Quotes:
  • Morgan summarizes the debacle as "spectacularly bad luck."
  • Legal consequences discussed: client replacement, disciplinary inquiry, malpractice premium spike, and workplace ridicule ("coffee-shop lawyer") for the attorney.
  • Update: No lawsuit, but the incident becomes a local legal cautionary tale.
  • Lauren: "Out of all the mistakes you could make as a lawyer, this one doesn’t feel that deep." (58:57)
  • Wishes for a rom-com style happy ending for the lawyer and Sarah.

6. THT Subreddit: Husband Too Close With Her Younger Sister

[71:04 – 79:38]

• Story Recap:
  A woman’s husband and younger sister are becoming increasingly close—inside jokes, late-night texting, the sister wearing his hoodie. Both dismiss her concerns as "jealousy."
• Key Discussion Points:
  • Both hosts validate her instincts, noting emotional affairs often look like this and the gaslighting red flags are present.

    "If you’re expressing you don’t feel comfortable and they’re not changing anything, that’s disrespect from both." — Lauren (76:37)

  • Advice: Trust gut, set boundaries.

7. Am I Overreacting: Husband Eats Her Edible Arrangement

[81:05 – 91:03]

• Story Recap:
  After a rough patch as new parents, husband gifts wife an Edible Arrangement—then eats all of it, including taking leftovers to work.
• Key Discussion Points:
  • While Lauren initially shrugs it off, both hosts agree it’s the principle: he doesn’t do nice things often, and then undermined even this small gesture.
  • Morgan:

    “You don’t touch my chocolate covered strawberries. You don’t touch my cantaloupe. You leave my star-shaped honeydew alone.” (82:25)

  • Update: Husband apologizes and hand-makes chocolate-covered strawberries, a touching reconciliation.
  • Discussion on the importance of thoughtful (not necessarily expensive) effort in relationships.

    “If he wants to, he will. Effort does not have to be financial... It just needs to be thoughtful.” — Morgan (88:17)

8. AITA: Telling Daughter Her Flaws after She Blames Mom’s Weight for Dad’s Affair

[97:25 – 106:11]

• Story Recap:
  Mom is devastated when daughter, 22, reacts to news of dad’s cheating by saying, “I understand. You gained so much weight.” Mom retorts by listing hypothetical reasons daughter’s boyfriend might cheat (weight, acne, odor, bad clothes).
• Key Discussion Points:
  • Both hosts lean "not the asshole," noting daughter’s lack of empathy and need for a tough lesson.

    “Good for you, for once.” — Lauren (102:36)

  • Discussion of the “father-daughter/mother scapegoat” trope in families.
  • Top Reddit comment:

    "She sounded like she needed a good kick up the ass. And verbally, you did so only using the exact same logic applied to you." (104:04)

  • Some listeners think "everyone sucks here," but both Morgan and Lauren call out the daughter’s cruelty, defending the mom’s reaction as justified.

---

MEMORABLE QUOTES & MOMENTS

• “Bruh” Voice Acting Segment:
  [07:01 – 07:46] — Both try out “bruh” for different emotions, getting silly and setting a playful, incredulous tone.
• On European vs. American TV:

  "I'd prefer us being chill with nudity and not showing some of the stuff we show on TV here, like violence. They don't show violence. They show nudity. We don't show nudity. We show violence." — Morgan (04:31)

• Reflecting on Relationship Effort:

  "If he wants to, he will. And it, like, does not have to be financial... It just needs to be effort. It needs to be thoughtful." — Morgan (88:17)

• Deep “bruh” Theme:

  "Damned are we. The day we mistake our own kindness for weakness…" — Reddit Comment (18:18)

• Legal Drama Wish:

  "Come on, someone make this movie. Sounds really cute!" — Lauren, about the lawyer-dating-client fiasco (60:34)

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TIMESTAMPS — KEY STORY SEGMENTS

| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:06 | Reunion, post-wedding catchup, “Naked Attraction” | | 05:17 | Intro of “bruh” as theme | | 09:25 | AITA: Stopping a scammer at a yard sale | | 19:25 | Husband’s cruel “I hate you” during intimacy | | 30:04 | Mom wants to stop daughter’s cancer treatment for tuition | | 44:25 | Boyfriend’s secret “strike system” | | 53:14 | Depop Full Circle: Divorce lawyer dates client’s wife | | 71:04 | Husband too close with wife’s sister | | 81:05 | Edible Arrangement: Husband eats wife’s gift | | 97:25 | Daughter blames mom’s weight for dad’s affair; mom claps back|

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FINAL THOUGHTS

“Bruh” is the only possible reaction to this week’s lineup—from moral wins and lose-your-faith-in-humanity moments, to petty partners and near-surreal family betrayals. Morgan and Lauren deliver empathy and offensive (and defensive) “bruhs” in equal measure, reminding listeners you can always choose decency, and sometimes petty fights over fruit (or attention) are more revealing than we care to admit.

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LISTENER CALL-TO-ACTION

Patreon: More “bruh” stories and updates
Next Episode: Send in themes and juicy Reddit finds!
Theme Suggestion: “After 238, 239 [episodes]… my brain is flat. I gotta check and make sure I haven’t used the word bruh before. Haven’t used bruh. So we’re safe. Bruh.” — Morgan (05:34)

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End note:
Morgan and Lauren’s signature warmth and incisive hot takes shine through, making this episode a tapestry of internet craziness and real life “bruh” moments—funny, heartfelt, and occasionally, heartbreakingly unjust.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, welcome back to another episode of Too Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan.

[B]

I'm Lauren. It's starting off strong.

[A]

Come again? What?

[B]

It feels like it's been so long.

[A]

It has. It's been a minute. Like because I batch recorded everything before the wedding. So like we literally haven't recorded for like a month. Month and a half maybe. Probably.

[B]

Yeah. At least a month and a half I think.

[A]

Cuz it's been some time.

[B]

I feel. It literally feels like two months to me.

[A]

Forever? Yeah, forever. What's something crazy that's happened to you in the time since we've been together?

[B]

Are you setting me up for something?

[A]

What did you just do? What did you just get yourself?

[B]

I got a new car.

[A]

A new car? First new car for Lauren in like 15 years.

[B]

No, no, no, not 15 years.

[A]

10 years.

[B]

It was, I think that it was eight years ago when I got it. It is a, it's, it's a 2015 though. But I got it in 2017.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like you've had that little thing forever. Eight years?

[B]

Oh, it might be nine.

[A]

I mean this car, Lauren had like this old little Toyota. She's the cutest little car. But it like didn't lock anymore. It was time.

[B]

Yeah. Well, the Bluetooth stopped working and that's when I really thought this sucks. Like, and didn't have carplay.

[A]

Like didn't have anything fancy.

[B]

No. And. And if I were to get it fixed too, like it totals it like it was totaled.

[A]

Like it's only worth like a thousand dollars. It's. That's what they told you?

[B]

Yeah. Two thousand. But two.

[A]

Yes, two. But just still, I mean that's a decent amount.

[B]

Yeah. Well, not compared to what I bought it for though. I thought it would hold up a little bit better. But apparently like wherever I bought it from, they completely redid the front, which it works perfectly fine.

[A]

You never would have known.

[B]

No, I would have never known. But because they're not original parts then a lot of these car companies, they're not allowed to sell it on the lot. So they would buy it for parts. So I, I definitely like, I can sell it more. It's definitely worth more.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It will run for a long time. It's very reliable.

[A]

It's a Toyota. Yeah. Very, very exciting. I'm obviously back from honeymoon where I went to Iceland for a couple days. We did like a mini moon because we took Justin's grandpa to London to go see the Minnesota Vikings play there.

[B]

I saw that. Yeah, it was really cool.

[A]

But One thing I discovered when I was abroad is this show called Naked Attraction. I was mind blown.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

No, I've watched that before where they, like, have all these people in boxes. Yes. Yeah. And then they slowly raise, like, them up. And, like, the first glimpse you get, like, there's six people in a box and one person is judging them to pick them for a first date. Uhhuh. And it goes from their feet up to their belly button. And you see everything. I was shocked.

[B]

I couldn't. I didn't even know they were allowed to put that on just like, regular television.

[A]

It was insane. And I'm like. Justin, like, was flipping through the channels at our hotel and we came across this. And I'm like, what is this? And they zoom up.

[B]

I know they, like, talk in, like.

[A]

Detail about these people's labias and clits and their penises and are they circumcised and. Or, like, I'm just like, whoa, whoa.

[B]

And they. At least when I watched it, this was now a couple years ago, but it was the voice they used, too. It felt like the same type of dating show voice where it was like, ah, yeah, look at that over there.

[A]

Like, it's like a weirdly, like, Love Island.

[B]

Yes, I think.

[A]

But, like, not did I wonder if Naked Attraction inspired Love Island? I don't know which came first, chicken or the egg? Crazy show. You can now watch it here in the States on one of the streaming platforms. And so we started watching it at home, and it's just like.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's so nice.

[B]

I just think it's shocking that one, they were able to, like, move through with a show like that and that two, that people volunteer for that. Because, like, I. The ones that I watched at least, like, they're, like, brutal. Because some people are like.

[A]

They're like, yeah.

[B]

They're like, I'm just really not interested in your private parts. Like, it's like, that's messed up.

[A]

I know. It's a really interesting show. A lot of people find it very liberating. I feel like Europe is just, like, more comfortable with nudity, which I'd prefer that. I'd prefer us being chill with nudity and not showing some of the stuff we show on tv. Hear, like, violence. They don't show violence. They show nudity. We don't show nudity. We show violence.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd like to take a note from their book, but, yeah, that show had me just kind of reeling. And, like, no matter what story I've come across since then, the only thing that comes to mind as far as a theme goes is bruh. Like, B R U H, bruh. Like, is it a good bruh? Is it a bad bruh? Like, bruh can just mean so many different things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Being one word, my brain has been just, like, flat. I can't. I can't think of themes after.

[B]

I think, this is great. This is. Remember when I said that, like, if I were to come up with titles, they'd be like, emojis. Like, I. I support this. This is, like, down my lane.

[A]

I'm gonna, like, literally start letting Patreon just, like, pick the titles going forward. Cause, like, I think after 238, nine, I don't know where we're at. I'm out of titles. I'm like, my brain has gone flat. Yeah. I'm like, I gotta check and make sure I haven't used the word bruh before. Haven't used bruh. So we're safe. Bruh.

[B]

I'd be like, this one's called Penguin. There's no penguins in this episode. I just like the word.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay, I'm making sure I know what bruh actually means. Okay, so it is a noun. It's informal US English. A male friend often used as a form of address. Get off the Internet and get a life, bruh. And if that ain't the title, get off the Internet and get a life, bruh. Bruh.

[B]

Love it. Love it. It's also, I tell myself that sometimes I'm like. I'm like, stop looking at these crazy things that people are posting online. The Internet. You can get in a crazy place on the Internet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It can be scary.

[A]

Bruh can also be used as an interjection to express a wide range of emotions, like surprise, disappointment, or disbelief. It can be used to mean seriously in response to something foolish or unexpected.

[B]

I want to hear all your versions.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

No, I want to hear you say bruh in all the different versions.

[A]

Surprise. Yeah, bruh.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Disappointment. Yeah, bruh. Disbelief. I feel like disbelief and disappointment are probably the same for me. Bruh. Okay, now you have to do it.

[B]

Oh, gosh. What was the first one?

[A]

Surprised. Mm. Bruh. That's good. Yeah. Okay. Disappointment, bruh. Oh, that one's really good. That one's great. Okay. Disbelief, bruh. Oh, and the eyes, too. Your eyes got big. Yeah, you really sold that one.

[B]

Okay, this is a great segment.

[A]

Without further ado, let's get into these stories.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Let's dive in. This Episode is presented by depop. Now everyone's style evolves, but that doesn't mean your fits from last year have to hang out in the bottom drawer forever. On depop, your old clothes could make you some big bucks. With no selling fees. And thanks to AI listings and boostings to make your items pop, selling's never been easier. So go and have a look in the darkest corners of your closet, because even if it doesn't feel special to you, it's exactly what someone else has been looking for. Download depop to start selling today where taste recognizes taste.

[B]

Also, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to say this anywhere during the episode, so I just wanted to say right now, because you got to do a wedding episode with Justin obviously makes sense. Well, I just wanted to say that I haven't been on since the wedding and it was literally phenomenal. And Morgan and Justin know how to throw an amazing party. An amazing celebration. It was so, so beautiful and fun celebrating them.

[A]

It was so good. It was so good. Okay, thank you. That was very kind. Of course, getting into this first story, it's coming from Am I the asshole? 11 days old, titled Am I the Asshole for telling a woman to charge a guy more at a yard sale. I was shopping around our city's yard sales yesterday and stopped to look at some clothes. While I was looking, a guy walked up and asked the old lady running the sale if she had anything golf related. My ears perked up because I have just recently gotten into golf. The lady said she had her late husband's clubs but didn't know what they would be worth, so she dragged them out to show the guy. It was obvious the guy knew golf by the way he took a couple of practice swings and you could tell by his car and clothing, he appeared to be well off. As he looked around the bag, the lady was telling him that her husband had just passed and that she didn't know if the clubs were worth anything. He said they weren't that great and offered $200 for everything. She seemed hesitant and said she didn't know and he just kind of talked over her and said, here, I'll go grab the money and walked towards his car. I walked over to see what was in the bag and for anyone who knows golf, I'll throw this out there. Almost new GT3 driver and three wood. Gently used Mizuno irons. Nice Titleist wedges. A very nice looking Scotty Putter. Great condition Titleist cart bag. The stuff combined would be a steal at 1k. Obviously, this lady's late husband had spent a good penny on the clubs and I felt bad for her. So I told her she should pass on that guy's offer and have someone at a local Kors pro shop help her price the stuff out to sell if she wanted. She seemed totally shocked when I told her the driver and the three wood were probably worth $800 alone. When the guy came back, he was glaring at me, and when he tried to hand the lady the cash, she said no thanks and that she was going to get the stuff appraised. He got upset and told her she can't back out of a deal. So I chimed in that they didn't really make a deal. He got pissed at me and told me I needed to mind my business. The lady then told him she wasn't interested and to please leave. He walked to the end of the driveway and just stood there, casual, angry, like my toddler would. Before he walked away, he called me an and stomped off.

[B]

No, you're the asshole.

[A]

The whole thing was more funny than anything to me. I was telling this story to my co workers today and they were all dogging on me, saying that I should have just kept my mouth shut and let the guy get the good deal, but it felt wrong. What?

[B]

I hate everyone.

[A]

Him rip her off. So am I the asshole here?

[B]

No. What is wrong with the people? The people are ill. I swear. We as humanity are sick. Because the fact that you not only had this guy being a jerk, but then you had people around you in your everyday life making fun of you and saying that you did the wrong thing.

[A]

What's wrong with people? This is.

[B]

That's literally like elderly abuse. Like, the clubs aren't that good.

[A]

200 bucks.

[B]

And then like, you can't back out of the deal. It's a garage sale. Yes, you fucking can.

[A]

Until the thing is in your car and the person has the cash, you don't have a deal.

[B]

Well, even so, it's like, that's. It's a garage sale.

[A]

Like, it's not that serious. I don't know what is going on with people lately. Like, it genuinely feels like we have time lapsed and we're like, back 50 years. Like, just the way people are so not empathetic towards each other and just like, it's insane. And I'm bewildered. I'm like, reading this and I'm like, you're going to try to take advantage of an older woman who just lost her husband? Come on. Yeah, come on. Do you have no decency you pawned riddled scumbag. And the coworkers too, like dogging on them. I'm like, what? You would have kept quiet? That just shows how shitty of a human you are. Like, I wanna start watching that one hidden camera show again. And I forget what it was on, but it was like, would you do the right thing if you were in a certain situation? And it would be like an actor pretending they were blind going up to the counter. And the cashier would be like, oh, it's $5. And the person would hand over a hundred dollar bill and they would be like, oh, a 20, okay. And they'd take the bill and then give them change back in pocket the rest. And then someone would be there watching the whole thing. And the test of the hidden camera show would be, would you be a good person if a time called upon you, would you interject? And sometimes people just watch a bad thing happen and then others would stand up to whatever was going on. Yeah. And that feels like one of these moments. It feels like it's such a simple thing, but it's also like you see it, you have integrity, you're being a good person, as everyone should try to be.

[B]

I do think sometimes those situations can be like really nerve wracking. And so sometimes people want to, but they like have this. They just hold themselves back because they're.

[A]

Scared for whatever reason.

[B]

So I still think the, in that the example that you gave, I still think people can be good people even if they just like don't do something. But it is extremely admirable when somebody does do something and they do speak up and they push their fear aside and they interject themselves to protect someone who's vulnerable and being taken advantage of. And so I think that it's, it's like this person clearly did the right thing and, and it's like the guy.

[A]

Was clearly such a jerk.

[B]

Like for him to be like, they're not that good. Like that right there you are scheming her, you are taking advantage her. Like that, that is, that's when you know, if he were to just be like, oh yeah, I've always wanted golf clubs like 200. And then the guy were to come in and be like, hey, they're worth a lot more. And then the guy's like, what the heck buddy? Like she said she was down for 200. And like if he genuinely didn't really know, but the fact that he was trying to con her, he said they're not that good. You wouldn't say that if you didn't know.

[A]

Also, if they're not that good, then why do you want them? Exactly. Why don't you get yourself some nice clubs? You drive a nice car, you look well off. Like, go get some nice clubs then if they're not that good.

[B]

Because he. Because he gets off on being a villain.

[A]

He knows. I do think, like, a lot of times it can be easy to, like, not know what to do in a situation like this, too, when you see stuff. But, you know, once you get over that, flight fight, freeze, Fawn, whatever. Like, I feel like a lot of us do step in. And there's been a couple things that have happened to me lately where I've, like, been just like, oh, my God. My faith in humanity is, like, slightly on the upward trend. And one of them was, like, at the airport in Iceland, and this older gentleman fell on the escalator and, like, couldn't get up. And the escalators don't stop, and it just kept going. And, like, he's just clunking back. It was just. It was horrible. But literally, like, five of us ran. Like, three people ran up the escalator, got him, like, made sure he stopped falling backwards. And then me and this other guy, like, ran to the escalator to hit the emergency stop button. And I was just like, okay.

[B]

Like, teamwork.

[A]

Like, the way people just, like, faith in humanity. Yeah. Yeah. And there was one other, but I'm like, I'm not recalling it right now, but it was something simple like that. Just, like, helping hand. And, yeah, it's goofy, but, yeah. Not the op. You did the right thing in this one. And your co workers are weird, and I'm judging them.

[B]

Me, too.

[A]

Top comment on this one. I was telling this story to my co workers today, and they were all dogging on me, saying I should have kept my mouth shut and let this guy get a good deal. You work with people who would support a guy ripping off a widow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who expressed disappointment that you didn't let it happen.

[B]

Literally. Report them to hr.

[A]

Why do you ever speak to these people? Are these even people? For the love. Oh, fuck. Let me tell you something. Her husband literally torpedoed back to this world through you to stop that shit from happening. Not the asshole.

[B]

That's sweet.

[A]

This comment has quite a few upvotes. Damned are we. The day we mistake our own kindness for weakness, then the worst of us will have truly won.

[B]

I know that, like, hit. I was like, oh, no.

[A]

Oh, let that sit with you. Poetry where we mistake our own kindness for weakness.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, this person responds. Damned are we indeed. The moment empathy gets treated like a flaw instead of a strength, the whole game's lost. Better to take heat for stepping in than to stand by and let someone prey on another's loss. Comments just coming in. Like hitting you in the feels?

[B]

No, it's like. It's like tortured toe. Tortured toads. It's like tortured Poets department. Okay, in the comments.

[A]

Okay, there you go. Overall vote on this one. Was not the asshole good?

[B]

Thank God. Can you imagine? No, I would literally just like get up and leave right now.

[A]

Yeah, this is time to call it already bad off. Bad start, bruh. Okay, this next one is coming from R True off my chest. It is three days old. Titled My husband told me he hated me while we were being intimate. Oh, and now he's acting like it's not a big deal. This is my first Reddit post. It feels wild sharing this online, but I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends or family about it. I'm at a loss right now and I truly do not know how to feel. My husband, 28 male, and I, 28 female, have been married for almost two years. Lately it feels like we've been fighting about everything, both big and small. A few days ago, during an argument, I told him for the first time that it felt like he hated me. He immediately apologized, comforted me, and said that this wasn't true. He assured me that he loved me and never wanted me to feel that way. Later that same night, we went over to our neighbor's house to watch the UFC fights. We both had a few drinks while we were there. Nothing crazy though. When we got home, we started being intimate. We've always had a playful and good dynamic in that area and were comfortable with each other. We both enjoyed some dirty talk with each other and have been doing it for years. But this time, something felt different. In the middle of us having sex, he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, quote, I hate you. I froze, thinking surely I must have misheard him. But then he doubled down and said it again, I hate you. I immediately told him to stop. I don't even think he realized I was so serious until I yelled at him to get off of me. I was completely shocked and couldn't even find the words to say to him in that moment. So I just ended up sleeping in the guest room that night. The next morning we had plans to go to Costco. The car ride was silent and tense until I finally brought it up. I told him how weird and Hurtful it was that he said that to me. He brushed it off, saying that he was just drunk, that he didn't mean it, and that it was just part of dirty talk. He convinced me that I was overreacting. But this wasn't the same as what we've done before. Not even close. Especially because earlier that very day, I told him it felt like he hated me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he said those exact words during one of our most vulnerable moments. By the time we pulled into the Costco parking lot, I was crying. I told him I wasn't going inside, and I just sat in the car trying to process what had happened. I don't know if I'm overreacting, but I can't shake how wrong this feels. I keep replaying it in my head, and I just feel embarrassed and ashamed. The whole situation is so bizarre. It doesn't even feel real.

[B]

I'm at a loss for words, too. That's weird. That's alarming. That's definitely bruh.

[A]

Like, that'd be the last thing anyone would ever want to hear. Unless I don't. You have to be really into, like, negging and, like, I don't know. I'm sure there's someone that's into it, like, out there, but, like, not when you just asked your partner, like, hey, we are having some problems. Like, do you hate me? It feels like you just despise me. I don't feel the love. And then the very same day, you get hit with I hate you while he's inside of you. Ugh.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he doubles down I hate you as you're, like, sitting there, and you're like, what? What? Did I hear that right? And it's like, yeah, yeah, you heard that right. I hate you.

[B]

I don't like you looking at me saying that. It's hurting my feelings.

[A]

See what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if anyone would want to hear that.

[B]

You're saying it so convincingly. Ah, it's confusing. I definitely. I don't understand it at all. That's why I'm like, I. I'm at a loss for words. Like, we don't.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

We don't know a lot of detail around the relationship either. She says they talk dirty talk. Like, okay, was he towing a fine line, thinking that this would be fun and games since they had that combo earlier? A part of their little, like, shtick that they do? Or was he just, like, so blacked out that the words I hate you were still in his Head that he just repeated them because they were in his head from earlier. Like, I just. I. Or does he just genuinely hate her?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it finally came out.

[A]

I think it's something he is feeling. I think if OP is kind of like, getting the vibe, like, right.

[B]

She already felt it earlier.

[A]

She's feeling it. And so I think this was like, kind of his opportunity. Like, after a few drinks, then they're being intimate. Maybe he tried to slip it under his breath and he's just like. Like, no, I actually hate you. And this was his weird way of, like, being able to say it and get off on that. And then just to be like, no, it was dirty talk. Like, it was. It's kind of like that, like, easy out, where if she didn't react well, then it's like, well, it was dirty talk. You're overreacting. I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying to be hot.

[B]

It's just a very weird decision. Very, very weird decision.

[A]

Yeah. We have quite a few comments on this one. Top comment. Yeah, that's not dirty talk. You don't just tell someone you hate them for shits and giggles. I wouldn't let that go. In fact, it would make me rethink the whole relationship. OP does respond to. To a few of the comments.

[B]

Good, let's hear it.

[A]

Including that one. OP responds and says, it definitely has me rethinking everything. OP also says, like, just in response to a lot of people that are like, no, you're not overreacting. Like, this is not normal. OP is just like, thank you for validating me. I felt like I was going insane. Someone goes, I hesitate to use this word, but waiting until you are literally in the most physically and emotionally intimate position with someone to say something to them that purposefully preys on a vulnerability is trigger warning. Like, essay. They use the word rapey. You are not overreacting. This is concerning. And OP goes, I didn't want to say anything like that either, but it did make me feel pretty unsafe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which, like, yeah, like, I mean, depending on the position, like, I just don't even want to go. I'm like, this is very vulnerable. Yeah, very vulnerable.

[B]

Well, when you were describing this story, like, I was just, ugh. Like, yeah, I was just thinking the way that, like, I would just, like, recoil to. Ugh.

[A]

Like, I know when we were, like, starting to get more insight into their relationship too, based on these two comments. So it looks like this might be like, kind of a brief edit update in the comments for People. OP says, I see all of your comments, and I just want to thank you for the validation. This wasn't the first time he's said something insulting, just to play it off as some joke. I no longer live in the same state as my friends and family, and I haven't had the nerve to tell them what's going on. Pretending everything is okay while on the phone with my loved ones, while these things happen behind closed doors has felt isolating, to say the least. I was embarrassed at the thought of getting divorced so soon after marriage, but I know I am not and will not be happy with a man like this, and he's draining me. Marriage is hard, but I know it's not supposed to be this hard. And the last comment I'll read, OP just kind of says, he's a mama's boy through and through. His mom has heard him talk disrespectfully to me to the point of me in tears. And when I finally asked her if she was going to say something to him, she just looked at me and said, quote, I don't want to get involved. Oh, God. Gosh. So doesn't seem like this is a good, happy, healthy relationship. And based on that comment, that marriage is draining me, and it's not. I'm not gonna be happy with this person. It seems like OP might be making an exit plan out.

[B]

Yeah. Well, she should. I mean, she's 28, and you have so much life to live like this. This guy is not it. Like, you.

[A]

You should.

[B]

I feel like. I don't know, like, two years in a marriage, I feel like you should still be pretty. Not hating each other. Like. Like, it's just. He's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. I will say, if alarm bells are ringing for you, there are resources out there, ways to get out safely, because that can also be. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the person being abused tries to leave.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if you are out there and you're dealing with something similar, like, please make a safe exit plan. Sometimes that includes just sneaking out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, don't confront them. Take everything you can and go. Like, just make sure you're being safe because a lot of people are being hurt, injured, killed by romantic partners, and it's just. It shouldn't happen.

[B]

Yeah. I would say when you're moving out, definitely have some buddy or multiple people there.

[A]

Absolutely. We will keep our eyes peeled for an update on this one, but that's all we got right now. It's only three days old, so still pretty fresh, but moving on to this next one. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Life is all about choices, like choosing what you're going to have for dinner, what show to watch, are you going to take that job offer? And State Farm is here to help you make decisions you feel good about. Talk to a State Farm agent to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. Okay, this next one is a doozy.

[B]

A doozy, bruh.

[A]

I literally questioned if I should read this one because it just felt so heavy. Ugh. It's just not good. But this got sent to me from someone on Instagram. They're like, morgan, have you seen this one? And I read it and I just, like, responded back and I was just like, holy. I was like, this is bad.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So here we go. Okay, this is coming from R slash, am I overreacting? It's two days old, titled, am I Overreacting? My reply to my mom, who wants to stop my leukemia treatment so my sister can afford university. Question mark, Question mark.

[B]

Ooh, Hello.

[A]

Using a burner account because I don't want you guys seeing all of my private posts and photos related to my shit situation. I have leukemia. It's been a few months since I started treatment and it's been rough, but I'm still fighting. Yesterday, my mom texted me, basically saying she can't afford both my treatment and my sister's future. My sister wants to go to Dartmouth. She even quoted a super fucked up Bible verse about sacrifice, John 15:13, and said that, quote, greater love is laying down one's life for someone else.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Then she said I should, quote, be practical.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Because my condition is worsening and that I should, quote, consider sacrificing myself for my sister's dreams.

[B]

Unbelievable.

[A]

What really broke me was that she said, realistically, she's the one who will choose where the money goes. She also mentioned she talked to Jesus about it. And. And that's why she sent me the message.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

A few months ago, she had me sign a contract about financial stuff, quote, for medical security to repay her when I got better. I low key thought it was a joke at first, but realized, no, it's not. It's fucked up is what it is. She's always prioritized, my sister, but this is unreal. Am I overreacting or is this as Fucked up as it feels.

[B]

This is even more fucked up than it feels. This is insanity.

[A]

So OP does include screenshots of their text messages. Wow. And when you read the message and, like, get, like, the full context of what the mom said, it just, like, even feels worse. So this is all from op's mom? First message. My love, I think it's very important to be rational and seriously consider what I brought up. John 15:13. Greater love has no one than this to lay down one's life for one's friends. This also applies to family. My love, your sister desperately wants to go to Dartmouth. I cannot afford your treatment and her future. With the news we received, it's really time to be practical, My love. You need to take your time with it. But please understand that I'm not perfect and I'm not prioritizing her over you. It's just the reality that you're worsening. And there's a high likelihood that continually draining our funds towards this end goal is a fool's errand, because there really is nothing more to be done. Sacrificing her dreams is something you have to consider. I hope you come around and understand. Realistically, I'm the one who will choose. But it's vitally important you understand my reasoning.

[B]

Vitally important. Wow.

[A]

I would rather have told you this in person, but since you're not answering your phone or home, I spoke to Jesus instead, and he told me to write you this.

[B]

Wow. So that mom needs severe professional help, clearly. That's sickening.

[A]

Can you imagine talking to your child and saying, you should get realistic and come to terms with the fact that you're gonna die, so I'm gonna pay for your sister to go to college instead. And, you know, it's time to just get realistic, my love.

[B]

It's also so crazy because I don't. I feel like I've never heard of it coming from somebody else. To stop treatment. Like, it's always the.

[A]

A doctor?

[B]

No, not. Not even that. It's like, it's the. It's the. The person who has the cancer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, they're. I always hear that everyone around them is like, no, keep trying. Keep going. And then they're like, no, I don't want to. I'm at peace with it. I. I'm ready, and I don't want to live the rest of my life doing treatments. So the fact that the mom is the one trying to enforce this, like, that's, to me, is almost unheard of. I'm like, I wish this person wasn't private so we could start a GoFundMe. Like, let the world pay for your treatments and forget this shitty family.

[A]

Your mom should be dead to you. Like, your mom wants you to be dead to her. Is that fucked up to say?

[B]

Like, that's what it feels like.

[A]

Your mom would rather stop your treatment to send your sister to Dartmouth. And, like, is that a big accomplishment for your sister? Yeah. Hey, cool. Dartmouth sounds like a good school. Cool. But does your sister need to go to Dartmouth? No. Like, where does your sister stand in all this? Is she an entitled brat who's like, yeah, fuck it, I want to go to Dartmouth. I don't care if my sister dies. Like, where is she in all of this? It's giving golden child and scapegoat. And we do get some replies from Op to mom that were also included in these screenshots. Opie says, is this why you had me update my life insurance policy? Is this why you've been pushing scheduling my follow ups? I'm not gone. I have dreams. I have goals. I'm only one year older than Michaela. Why is she a priority over me? I can still beat this. I just don't understand why you're all giving up. I've only been in treatment for a few months. I can win. And I'll spend the rest of my life paying you back like I promised and agreed to with the contract you had me sign. I just don't fucking understand this. I'm not going to fucking smile and say, okay, yeah, kill me for my sister.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

This is horrendous.

[B]

It's horrendous.

[A]

Op, if you are out there listening, seriously, fuck your family. Create a GoFundMe. Yeah.

[B]

Put the screenshots on the GoFundMe.

[A]

Absolutely. Seriously, this is insane. And then tag your mom insane.

[B]

This woman needs to be publicly shamed. Yeah.

[A]

Genuinely.

[B]

I think that's what Jesus would want. I. I just spoke with him just now. This just in. He said he would like for the mother to be publicly shamed. Sorry, I didn't make the rules. He did.

[A]

I just. Like, it's so crazy because I don't know. Like, it's so insane to me when people are like, oh, in the name of Jesus. And they do all this shit, and it's like, Jesus would not stand for this. Like, if Jesus came back today and like, all of the people that believe in Jesus, like, if he came back today and saw what was going on in his name, he'd be pretty fudgeing pissed, I would think.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jesus would throw hands.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Like, come on. It's just. It's fucking crazy to me, but I really. I really, really, really. Like, there's resources out there like OP I believe is 19 is what I'm gathering based on some comments. I have to go to the account quick, but I account has been banned. OP does respond to a couple that I can see in the thread, so. Top comment. What the fuck? How old are you, by the way? OP responds. I'm 19. Wow. Next comment down.

[B]

Heartbreaking.

[A]

I've beat leukemia. Smash it. OP responds. Sorry, I fell asleep, but I wanted to say you're amazing. Thank you for the much needed inspo. Next comment down. Don't let your mother claim you as a dependent on her taxes anymore. You will be eligible for all kinds of assistance if you aren't claimed as a dependent on anyone's taxes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Next comment down. Sweetie, please talk to a social worker at the hospital and see about continued care. I really think you need an advocate this. There are other ways and you are still a teenager. Heck, there are also other ways to pay for college for your sister. Good lord, you aren't overreacting. Yeah, like a lot of people are. Just like, OP needs to get their own insurance and the mother can go fuck themselves over the money chokehold. Someone else goes. Because of the Affordable Care act, your mom can continue to cover you on her health insurance until the last day of the month that you turn 26. You can call your health insurance company customer service on the back of your card and explain the situation to them. Advise that you want the account password protected since you are 19. They shouldn't be discussing your claims in detail anyways without your permission. However, just to put more guardrails in place, I would definitely call and ask them to put a password on the account and anyone who calls will need that password. I would also apply for Medicaid and disability as well. I'm so sorry your mom is so shitty. I would never do this to my child. Just kind of talking about how unbelievably selfish both mom and sister are. Yeah, and I'm really curious where sister is in all of this. Like, does she know? Is she like, selfishly okay with it? Insane.

[B]

But it's really sad.

[A]

You got this. I like, I read this and I'm like, I had no words. I'm like, what a parent? Like, what? You would say that to your child and just like write them off when they're not even gone?

[B]

Yeah, it's heartbreaking. I mean, even like, when my Grandpa passed away. My mom was like, fighting with like, her family and the doctors to like, keep trying. And you know, and he was in his 80s, but my mom was like, no, like, he has more, like, he has more life in him. Like, and she, you know, it's just wild to think that, like, you could give birth and raise a 19 year old and then say, hmm, that's enough, that's enough now. Like, how, how could you just, how could you give up?

[A]

It's beyond cruel. It makes me think that she's probably diagnosable.

[B]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[A]

Like, I don't think any normal loving parent would act like that. No, I'm very concerned, especially with op mentioning life insurance policy. Like, is this why you had me update my life insurance policy? I would make sure your mom and sister are not the beneficiaries of that policy.

[B]

Like, you need to do that immediately right now.

[A]

I don't know, like, if there's other family you want to leave it to.

[B]

But like anyone else, a stranger, I.

[A]

Would literally leave it to charity over my family that trying to kill me 100%. And I would also be really, really making sure that your, like, bases are covered in terms of, like, your medical decision making. Like, you can fill out with your hospital or just like, put it on file, but your, like, power of attorney and your, like, advanced directives and make sure that your wishes in regards to your care are clearly documented and it is legally binding. And like, then your mom can't come in and be like, yep, pull the plug, pull the plug, we're done. Like, make sure someone else, if you need it, is responsible for your decisions. That is not your mom or sister. Yeah, like, and I think that goes for a lot of us out there. Like, that's something that we had to do when we got well, when I got hired at a hospital, like, they encouraged us to fill out our forms and like, make sure that our wishes are very known. And I did a will recently and I had to do that as well. Like, how long do I want to be kept on life support? Like, do I want this? Do I want that? And so I did that. And like, you pick who you want making decisions for you. And so if you're not married, but you've been with your partner for like 10 years, you should fill out that form because otherwise if you go in, your partner has no decision making. It's your parents, it's your next of kin, which for a lot of people can be horrifying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially if you're like a part of the lgbtq.

[B]

I was just thinking that, like, I've heard some really horrific stories because of that.

[A]

Yeah, so download the form. You can literally download them online. All you have to do is get them notarized. It's a legal document. And make sure that you're just covered in case you need it. It's better to be safe than sorry. But no update on this one again. Gonna have to keep our eyes peeled. But moving along. Shall I lighten the mood a little bit?

[B]

You don't have to.

[A]

I feel like I sounded like a harmonica.

[B]

Yeah, that was pretty. Actually, I liked that.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Can't do it again no, no, it's not the same.

[A]

Can't do it again okay, this next one is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It's two days old. It is titled, my boyfriend keeps a secret strike system for me, and I found it by accident.

[B]

Oh, my God. I can't imagine how many strikes I have.

[A]

I'm 28, female, and my boyfriend, 30, male. Left his phone on the couch while he showered. A notification popped up from notes. I opened it thinking it was a grocery list. It was a document titled Girlfriend Strikes. He literally tracks my offenses with dates and points. Being late to his mom's dinner. One point, not laughing at his joke.

[B]

Point.

[A]

Five point, buying myself flowers. Quote, attention seeking. Wow. One point. At 10 points, he wrote serious talk. And at 15 points, reconsider relationship.

[B]

Wait. Wow. Okay.

[A]

Hmm. I confronted him, and he said, it's just a system to keep things fair because I am emotional and forget what I do. I felt sick. Like, I was an employee on probation, not a partner. I packed a bag and stayed at my sister's last night. Now he is spamming me that I violated his privacy and proved his point.

[B]

Goodbye. Is this breakup material a hundred million.

[A]

Percent or am I overreacting?

[B]

No. That's, like, the only way I would say that that's not breakup material is if he came back and was like, oh, my. Like, some, like, Ross excuse from friends. Or he's like, no, no, no, no. Like, my friends were, like, telling me like, that it's a fun, funny way to. Blah, blah, blah. It wasn't that serious. Of course. I would never do that. Like, that's the only way I could say, like, no, you could consider it maybe. But no, you, like, you gotta say goodbye immediately. Proving this proves my point. Like, respect my privacy. Like, I will far, far, far away.

[A]

Respect your privacy forever. Bye. Bye.

[B]

Bye, bye, bye. You're a freak.

[A]

Well, and it's just like, it's not even like the things he's giving her points for is comical. Late to my mommy's dinner.

[B]

I know.

[A]

1 point.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Didn't laugh at my joke. 0.5.

[B]

Unbelievable.

[A]

Bought herself flowers. That attention seeking whore.

[B]

Yeah. No.

[A]

One point.

[B]

There's something severely wrong with you. That's actually insane.

[A]

It's not like, oh, said she was gonna arrive at 7pm and then didn't show up until 1am and didn't call me. And I was worried like.

[B]

Or like, oh, like she hooked up with my best friend.

[A]

One point.

[B]

Like, then I would be like, yeah, no, I get it. If like you need to, like, for your own sanity, kind of put it down and be like, all right, like, I need to remember why. Like, I need to question this relationship. She hooked up with my friend. Like, if that's, if you need to write that out, like, whatever. But like, this is crazy. It is.

[A]

And I, I've heard of girls doing this too. I've like, I feel like I've seen a video from an influencer who like really talked about having an ick list for the guy guys they're dating or something like that. I don't know, like, even that. I'm just like, I don't think that's, I don't think like it's conducive to having a healthy relationship. It's like you're keeping score versus communicating openly with that person. Like this point where it's like being late to his mom's dinner, that impacted him. He didn't like that. If he would have been like, hey, I, I, you know, next time we say five, I'd really appreciate it if you would show up at 5. You know, it's just really important to me that we're punctual for these things. Or just like communicate like, let me know you're running late. That's way better than keeping a score that the other person doesn't even know about. You're not giving them a chance to address it. You're not working on your relationship. You're not making it stronger. So you're only hurting yourself with this imaginary score sheet.

[B]

You might as well just leave. I don't know why you're making doodles. Just end the relationship if that's how you're feeling about it. And I'm also just putting together too. So she said, I'm gonna pack a bag and leave. Does that mean that they live together?

[A]

Seems that way.

[B]

So. And that, that is even like wild. Even more Wild to me. Because if it were to be in the beginning where it's like, they've only been dating for, like, a couple of months and kind of like what you said, like, creating this, like, quote unquote, ick list, then, like, maybe I would understand more because he's. Maybe he's just fallen into relationships way too fast and, like. And then it ends up spiraling by all these little things. So he's told himself that he's gonna, like, keep track, like, in the beginning of relationship to make sure that he just doesn't, like, dive in. That would make more sense to me. The fact that it sounds like they're serious is like. And his issues are her buying herself flowers.

[A]

Like, how That's a diss on you. Yeah, like, she should be negative. Two points. Because I'm a shitty boyfriend and I didn't buy her flowers.

[B]

It's like, how. How insecure and pathetic are you to say that it's a negative for a girl to buy herself flowers like that?

[A]

Attention. I don't know what the word is.

[B]

For it, but it's like a certain type of, like, guy that thinks that way. And I don't know, I can't think of the word, but it's one that I don't like. I know that. Very insightful. I know. Okay, let's move on.

[A]

Top comment on this one. No, that's messed up. Tell him his list equals 15 strike points and you're reconsidering the relationship. Then break up with him. What a weirdo. Next comment. Perfect. Start a physical list, make him watch you write made weird list, negative 15 points, and then leave his ass on a whiteboard. I would make it official. Yeah, absolutely. This comment also agrees you could use a whiteboard. Or as this person says, make it official. Use company letterhead, stamp it, effective immediately, and cchr, AKA your best friend. Like, send a termination letter, essentially.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No other comments from op no updates. That's all I got.

[B]

Goodbye.

[A]

Goodbye. Bye, Felicia. Bye, bruh. Wait, what? Is that from Amanda Bynes?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She's the man. She's the man. I love that movie.

[B]

I love her in that movie so much. She's. It's so good.

[A]

That's one of my favorite movies.

[B]

Truly. It's so good.

[A]

I wish they made more like, just happy, funny, cute rom coms. Like, where have the rom coms gone? Yeah, and quit marketing me a rom com when it's not a ROM com. Like, they're taking advantage of me by making videos of the best, cutest clips from A show or movie, and then you watch it and it sucks. Sucks.

[B]

I'm sorry. I'm trying to think of what I've watched recently that would be fun for you to watch. I'll have to send you a list because, like, I'm pretty. I know my rom coms pretty well.

[A]

I'm ready for a book, too. Okay. I just read. Well, not just. It was like, two months ago. The new Hunger Games book from Haymitch's version.

[B]

And you said that was amazing.

[A]

Loved it. But I'm really into, like, shapeshifter romance smut.

[B]

Then why don't you, like. Why don't you read Acotar then?

[A]

Well, do you have the book?

[B]

Yeah. Okay, I'll call them. I can bring them over. I also. Kennedy just finished. I think it's called Plated Prisoner.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And she's like, I'll never be the same. She was, like, broken after finishing it because of how much she loves it.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah, so that could be a potential too.

[A]

Okay, well. Well, let's move on to this next thing. Okay. It is time for a very special segment. This is new. Very new. This is first time we're ever doing it, thanks to our friends at depop. This is called the full circle moment. Just like depop keeps fashion moving in circles, we are diving into a juicy, crazy story with an unexpected twist. It came a little full circle, if you will. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So this is coming from a user titled May Not Be a Lawyer for Long. And the original post is titled, Today I messed up by Accidentally becoming my client's wife's boyfriend. This happened a couple months back, but I saw a skit online that was scarily similar to what happened to me in real life. For context, I'm a divorce attorney. Been practicing for about eight years now. Mostly family law stuff. Generally pretty routine work. People want to untangle their lives, I help them do it legally, everyone moves on. Let's flash back to last March. I took on what seemed like a straightforward dissolution case. Client. I'll call Dave. Nice enough guy. Been separated from his wife for over a year. Just wanted to make it official. Nothing complicated. Decent retainer. Figured we'd have it wrapped up in a few months. Dave seemed reasonable. Not one of those vindictive types trying to burn everything down out of spite. Around the same time, I'd been seeing this woman, Sarah, for a couple of months. I met her at a coffee shop near my office. Really hit it off. She mentioned going through a divorce, but I didn't pry. Not exactly first date conversation. You know, she had a different last name from what was in my client's files. So when I ran my conflict checks, nothing flagged. Everything was going great with Sarah. Really great, actually. We were taking things slow, but it was heading in a good direction until we scheduled the first four way settlement meeting. I walk into the conference room with Dave chatting about keeping things amicable, and there's Sarah sitting across the table with her attorney.

[B]

So brutal. Did Sarah do this on purpose?

[A]

I literally just stopped mid sentence. My briefcase slipped right out of my hands and hit the floor with this loud thud. Sarah went completely white. Dave looked back and forth between us for what felt like an eternity, and I could see the exact moment it clicked for him.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Quote, are you fucking serious right now? Oh, my God, he said, not shouting, but definitely not pleased. Sarah started tearing up. Her lawyer looked like he wanted to crawl under the table. I'm standing there feeling like the biggest moron in legal history. I had to immediately excuse myself with Dave. Guy was understandably pissed. Started grilling me. How long had this been going on? Did I know who she was? Was this some kind of setup to screw him over? I'm trying to explain that I'd been dating his wife for a couple of months without having any clue who she was. He didn't buy it at first.

[B]

I mean, how could you not buy it? You saw their faces go white. You know, like, I feel like the reaction was pretty genuine.

[A]

Quote, what kind of lawyer doesn't ask basic questions? He keeps saying. Had to pull out my intake notes to prove the name thing. I show him how the conflict check works. Basically convince an angry client that I'm incompetent rather than malicious.

[B]

Oh, poor op.

[A]

Took about 20 minutes before he finally believed it was just spectacularly bad luck. Even then, he's shaking his head, muttering about how fucked up this whole situation is. I explained that I'd have to withdraw from his case and help him find new counsel. There's no getting around it. I've got a personal relationship with the opposing party. Yeah, which makes it impossible for me to represent him properly 100%.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

By the end, he'd calmed down enough to say, quote, this is the weirdest goddamn thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah. Still wasn't happy about starting over with a new lawyer, but he understood why it had to happen. The paperwork was a nightmare. Had to file a motion to withdraw since we were already in litigation. Transfer all his files, deal with refunding unused fees. Sarah and I didn't speak for two weeks after that meeting, we were both mortified. Her attorney spent forever trying to convince himself this wasn't some elaborate scheme. Even though nobody intended for this to happen, it was still my screw up. Should have had better procedures to catch conflicts like this. Doesn't matter that it was an accident. You mess up the conflict, check, you deal with the consequences. Dave texted me a few weeks later, but it wasn't friendly. More like, quote, hope you realize this completely fucked up my timeline. Can't say I blame him. And just to add insult to injury, my malpractice insurance premium went up when I reported the conflict.

[B]

Oh, no. Yeah. Well, at least he didn't get.

[A]

Sued.

[B]

Or kicked out or anything.

[A]

Disbarred. Yeah, I know. Top comment on the post is I've been practicing over 10 years. You're not incompetent. And based on Dave's text to you, I think it's a good thing you had to withdraw. Yeah, kind of makes sense. Sarah's divorcing him because he sounds like an asshole.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah. Incompetent. Nah, you're a good lawyer. Embarrassed. Yeah, this one's not gonna be funny for a while.

[B]

I think it's hilarious right now. It's like, I also. I mean, out of all the mistakes you could make as a lawyer, like, this one doesn't feel that deep. I mean, he didn't do a thorough enough background check on the girl that he's dating.

[A]

Like, I. I kind of like that. Because if he did, it would make Opie kind of seem creepy.

[B]

Right? Like, he. He did what he's supposed to do. He just didn't go the extra layer.

[A]

Also, there's so many Sarah's out there. There's so many Morgan's or Megan's or Lauren's out there. Like, if she's going by a different name. Different that the husband didn't provide because, like, when he's doing the intake papers to get this lawyer, he's probably like, oh, this is my wife's name. These are potential aliases. She could go by AKA like, if you got married and you became Lauren Johnson, that person would put down, oh, well, she could be going by Lauren Rolfe, but if she's not going by, you know, Sarah, maiden name, she could be going by Sarah Snuffleupagus. And the guy didn't know that then. It's like, it's not on op, Right. For not, like, prying this random Sarah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That he met in a coffee shop.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, what's your last name? And what are some other last names you could go by? And what are some nicknames you might have? Just gotta check for work. Yeah, like someone would be creeped out, right?

[B]

Oh, man. But okay, speaking of rom coms, like, this is the type of stuff I'm talking about. Come on, someone make this movie. Sounds really cute.

[A]

It does sound cute. But.

[B]

But, but. No buts.

[A]

We do get an update.

[B]

Okay, Sarah and him are together. Fingers crossed.

[A]

Does it come that full circle?

[B]

I hope so.

[A]

So it's been about seven months since the conference room incident and people have been asking, what happened. Short answer, it's been a mess.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

About three weeks after I withdrew from Dave's case, I got called into a meeting with the senior partners, three partners, our firm's general counsel and a rep from our malpractice carrier. On video call, the managing partner slides a folder across the table. Quote, opposing counsel reported a conflict of interest issued to the state bar. Under Rule 8.3, we've been notified of a disciplinary inquiry. Fuck.

[B]

Wait, opposing counsel meaning that Sarah did that?

[A]

Sarah's lawyer? Yeah. Oh, no op. Says here Dave's new attorney filed the report. They don't get to decide what happens. They just report potential violations and the bar takes it from there. I have to explain everything. How I met Sarah, how we'd been casually dating for a couple of months. How she used a different name socially. How my conflict check on her legal name didn't flag anything because I never connected the dots. The general counsel is taking notes. Walk me through your conflict check process. I explained the intake procedures, how the system works, how Sarah's legal surname didn't match what she had told me. It sounds worse when I say it out loud. Quote, there is a clear model. Rule 1:7 a2 issue, material limitation conflict. The general counsel says you were correct to withdraw under Rule 1.16. But we need to understand how this wasn't caught earlier. The malpractice carrier rep unmutes. We'll need to document this as a circumstance that could lead to a claim. It'll be noted when your policy comes up for renewal. Great. The firm mandates that I complete an 8 hour CLE on conflicts of interest before taking on any new clients. They've already registered me for a seminar that Saturday, 8am of course, I show up at a hotel conference room with about 20 other attorneys. One of the instructors is Patricia, a divorce attorney I've opposed a few times. She definitely knows why I'm there based on the look she gave me.

[B]

Patricia?

[A]

Part of the Morning is standard material. Rules, case law, procedures. Then we get to case studies, and Patricia brings up in reed Johnson, a 2019 disciplinary matter. Attorney representing a divorce client starts dating someone, turns out to be the opposing party, discovers it at a settlement conference. Same exact situation as mine from six years ago in a different state. And I wanted to sink through the floor. At lunch, another attorney mentions he heard about something similar happening at a firm in town recently. Doesn't know it's me, but clearly the story's getting around. I finish the seminar, pass the exam, bring the certificate back to the firm. A few weeks later, the bar sends a letter. The inquiry is closed with a private citation. Basically a warning that stays in their files, but isn't public discipline. Could have been worse.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

My malpractice premium went up about 15% when it renewed in September. The carrier cited the reported disciplinary circumstance in the renewal letter. The firm implemented some new procedures for me. Specifically, for the next six months, I have to get conflicts pre cleared by general counsel before taking on any new client. They also added mandatory aka/ nickname fields to our intake forms and conflict check system. Seems like that should have been in there before, but okay. The worst part isn't the official stuff, though. It's the people that know. Not everyone, but enough. I've been called the coffee shop lawyer twice at bar events.

[B]

Who cares?

[A]

Last month, opposing counsel asked if I'd met the other party before. With this look on her face, the story's definitely circulating. Some versions have me engaged to Sarah. One has me not finding out until trial. It's becoming one of those cautionary tales people tell each other. Haven't dated anyone since March. Deleted the apps before I did. I matched with someone who mentioned her divorce, and I immediately asked who her lawyer was. She unmatched pretty quickly. Can't really blame her. Dave, if you see this. I'm sorry, man. I really didn't know. I hope things worked out okay for you, Sarah. I hope you're doing well. Everyone else, just ask the basic questions, run proper conflict checks, verify AKAs. It's not worth it.

[B]

I mean, this is probably just because I'm not a lawyer and not in this field, but I'm like, it really doesn't seem like it should be that deep.

[A]

It doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Like, they realized before anything had really been litigated. Yeah, I mean, like, it wasn't like, OP sat there and like, got Sarah the house. Exactly.

[B]

They weren't being slimy.

[A]

Yeah, it was just Like, a true accident.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I also feel like. I don't know, I'm nosy, and maybe this is, like, not common practice, but if I was a lawyer taking on a divorce case, I'd be like, oh, can I see a picture of you too? Like, as I took on the client, just be like, I want a face for the name. Like, do you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Don't they include pictures in their files?

[B]

I feel that way, too. I feel that way about guys in general. Like, I'm always like, give me the tea. Give me the details. Show me a photo. And they're like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. I didn't ask. And I'm like, oh, ask. Ask the questions.

[A]

We need to know.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's like that meme where it's like a guy's talking to his girlfriend. He's like, oh, yeah, Jared broke up with Whitney. And then the girlfriend's like, why? What happened?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't know. What do you mean?

[B]

Well, when they break up. I don't know.

[A]

Were they having problems? I don't know. Well, what do you do after? I don't know. It's like, wait, are you not friends?

[B]

I need to send you a video. There's this one where this guy has note cards, and he's like. He's like, when my. What my girlfriend sends me with. When I hang out with my buddy who just went through a breakup, and he's like, was cheating involved? If yes, go to next card. If no, like, it's so good. But I. Seriously, I didn't realize this is, like, a universal thing. But I just. I. Yeah, it just. It seems to be that a lot of guys don't ask the deets.

[A]

I'm like, really trying to train Justin to ask way more questions. Like, even one of his, like, best friends got engaged, and I was like, how did he do it? I don't know. In New York. And I'm like, what? Where?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then, like, they're now planning their wedding. I'm like, have they decided on a venue? What are they doing? He's like, I don't really know. I'm like, you work with him literally every day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you guys talk about? Yeah, what do you talk about?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

I'm like, ask the question. Friends.

[B]

They talk about sports.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Music and nothing else crazy.

[A]

Back to this one, though. I would like for Op and Sarah to get reconnected. I want them to come back full circle, but at least OP got a second chance at being a lawyer. Still, like, it wasn't. Wasn't fired from the firm and disbarred.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

Thank God.

[B]

Um, I. Yeah, I think OP sounds like a really sweet person. And you. You guys should make the stories come true and get engaged.

[A]

Give me the rom com. Yeah, I would like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you. That's all I got for this full circle moment brought to us all by depop. Just like in today's stories, sometimes something we thought was gone found its way back. Whether that's a friendship, an opportunity, maybe even your favorite piece of clothing. That's what depop is all about. Keeping style in motion and letting your taste connect with someone else's. Giving your clothes a new life. Because sometimes the best things really do come back around. Download depop to start selling today. Where taste recognizes taste. I will also give depop a little bit of a plug here. I was watching a rom com, actually one of the best movies I've seen in a while. The Fall Guy. Is that the name of it?

[B]

Oh, yeah, I haven't watched. I. I watched that in the theaters, so I need to rewatch that because now I've forgotten it.

[A]

It's with Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt gave me a whole new appreciation for stunt people. Yeah, I loved it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But in the movie, Emily Blunt is wearing this, like, super, super cool Carhartt jacket. Couldn't find it anywhere. There was one depop listing, and I was able to snatch it, so depop secured me the jacket.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

I love it. It's so good. But I just love that you can do that and, like, just find everything that you, like, want, and that's awesome. A little depop plug there. Before we move along here to our next one, which do we want to stay on a lighter side or do we want to bam, hit it where it hurts?

[B]

You know, I was really trying to, like, Wednesday Addams this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But at the same time, that last story was, like, so cute and fun that I'm. I'm. You pick down for either.

[A]

I hate picking.

[B]

Hmm.

[A]

I'll jump to this one first. Okay. Coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit six days old titled My husband and my sister have become way too close.

[B]

Uh oh.

[A]

And I don't know what to think anymore.

[B]

Wait, is this the light one or the dark one? You're not gonna tell me?

[A]

I'm not gonna tell you. We shall see. I'm 27 and I've been married to my husband, who's 30 for two years, things were good between us until my younger sister, who's 24, started spending more time at our place. At first, I was happy to have her around. It made our home feel warmer. But now something feels wrong. They talk all the time. They text late at night and share jokes I don't understand. Sometimes when we go out, they walk ahead together, laughing, while I trail behind. No. It feels like I'm watching my own husband forget I exist.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

I tried to talk to him about it once. He told me I was being jealous and dramatic.

[B]

Oh, no. Big red flag.

[A]

My sister said the same thing, that I was reading too much into things. But I can't shake this feeling. It's like they have a secret world that doesn't include me. The moment that broke me was when I saw my sister wearing his hoodie. She laughed when I asked about it and said, quote, he told me I could borrow it. I smiled on the outside, but inside, I felt something snap. I don't know if they've crossed any real lines, but emotionally, it feels like I've already lost them both. My heart keeps asking if I'm imagining it or if this is how betrayal actually begins.

[B]

The latter. Mm.

[A]

Wearing his hoodie.

[B]

I mean, that wouldn't be that weird without the rest of the context.

[A]

But you would go to, like, your sister and be like, right, can I borrow a big hoodie of John's? I can borrow.

[B]

Right, Exactly.

[A]

Like, if you. You'd come to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you were at my house and you were cold, you'd come to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you wouldn't just be like, oh, can I have a sweatshirt?

[B]

Definitely not.

[A]

Ew.

[B]

It's so wild to me too, because, like, I feel. Even though I feel like I'm friends with my friends partners, I also am mindful about when we are communicating without my friend being there. Like, I don't. I don't really like to text too often to any of my friends partners. Just, like, out of just respect, I can go through my friends. Like, there's little things, like here and there that I'll text like, my friend's partner. But, like, we don't need to, like, have all these inside jokes together. I can't imagine how Opie feels because this isn't normal. Like, this is not respectful. This is definitely a red flag. And the fact that they both are, like, gaslighting you and calling you crazy.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

It's even more reason to be concerned because it's. It's like they're Getting defensive versus taking my feelings into consideration and taking a step back and being like, oh, I could see how I'm crossing lines. I won't be so touchy feely. I'll try to include you. I see how you could be feeling. It's. No, you're crazy. You're insecure, you're jealous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do I have a reason to be jealous of my sister? Like, to me, jealousy almost implies romance. Like, you know what I mean? I don't know, I just. There's something about that word in the way he used jealousy for me where it feels like, romantically tinged.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, no, it is. It is interesting. I.

[A]

Am I misusing the word jealousy? I guess it can be. Not in related to romance.

[B]

Yeah, no, definitely not. Not. I mean, it's a widespread feeling.

[A]

Yeah. Jealousy includes more emotions than I initially thought. Anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness or disgust, insecurity, fear and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. So jealousy. That fits. That does fit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, it's just so interesting to me because, like, if somebody told me that they were feeling uncomfortable with my relationship with their partner, I would, like, be. I would, like, never talk to their partner again.

[A]

You would just, like, you'd be really respectful. And I think a lot of us.

[B]

Like, block their partner. And I'd be like, I'd never want to make you feel that way. They're blocked. I'll never talk to them again.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

So it's just like the fact that she's like, doubling down and she's like, I'm wearing his sweatshirt. Duh. Kick her out. Why is she there?

[A]

Yeah, don't invite her over as much.

[B]

Also, it's almost like showing your husband's true colors. So it's like you almost want there to be enough of a reason to leave him rather than just having this, like, hunch.

[A]

Yeah, that's true too.

[B]

And then being like, quest. Question him for years and years on end.

[A]

And I hate going through someone's phone, but do it.

[B]

Just kidding.

[A]

But there's gotta be something fishy on there between the two of them. They're either talking you or they're each other.

[B]

I mean, it doesn't even.

[A]

Both of them aren't good.

[B]

Maybe they're not. But like, even if they're not, they're still way too close for comfort. And that in itself, when you're expressing that, you don't feel comfortable and they're not changing anything.

[A]

That's disrespect.

[B]

From both. From both festivals.

[A]

Yeah. And that's the bottom line.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. So it's like, even if they're not doing anything, it's still just, like, disrespectful from, like, two of the people that you love the most. Like, they should. If they genuinely think that it's in your head or something, they still should be like, hey, there's nothing going on. But to respect what you're feeling, we're gonna not communicate. We're gonna, like, keep some distance. But, like, we hope that we can all have fun again. And, like, we can all be like, whatever. I don't know. I don't know. Just like, something, like, at least to show that you're respecting.

[A]

Yeah. And it's. It's the thing. Because it's not like they're all, like.

[B]

If they were all BFFs from, like, grade school.

[A]

Yeah. And then grew up together. The relationship has always been there.

[B]

But, like, this is your sister, like, something the sister needs to respect you. Respect your relationship.

[A]

Like, you know something's up for sure. And I guess, like, you, I mean, you make such solid points. If you're uncomfortable and your partner, your husband, isn't respecting your feelings. That's the core issue. Exactly. Like you're trying to talk about your feelings and your feelings are valid, seemingly justified here. But he doesn't care. He's trying to brush it off. He's getting defensive. He's pointing the blame back onto you. That's your real problem.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Top comment. Intra family affairs are not as uncommon as people think. Op. Trust your insights. Gather more evidence.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Next comment. Your gut is usually right about this stuff. The hoodie thing especially would have made me lose it. That's crossing a line. Whether they realize it or not. Start documenting the weird behavior and maybe set some boundaries about the late night texting. Next comment down. Intuition. It's part of you for a reason. Self preservation. These two are getting ready to blow up your marriage and your life. Keep quiet, gather evidence, and stay two steps ahead of this. You can cry, scream, and have a breakdown later. I don't know. Like, I think something fishy is going on. A lot of people are like, check their phones and devices. Perhaps secretly install audio or video devices. Follow your gut instincts. Like, people really do jump off the rails here and go to the same conclusion. A lot of us are going to. But I do think, like, if you get to that point where you're installing secret cameras.

[B]

Never mind. Sorry, I thought you were saying something else.

[A]

What did you say?

[B]

I Thought you were gonna say, like instilling, like, blank emotion. Sorry.

[A]

Yeah, no, but just like, if you're going to those lengths and installing a camera secretly to try to catch them, your relationship is like, you're really in. In the gutter already. Yeah, but no comments from OP no update yet.

[B]

Oh, I totally thought you were gonna give me updates on this one.

[A]

I got nothing.

[B]

Morgan, make one up right now.

[A]

We should do that for an episode. For stories that don't have updates. We're just gonna make them up.

[B]

Yes. Oh my God. That would actually be fun. We each like, write one and then have the other person read it.

[A]

Okay, I like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. That'll be fun.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Moving on to this one. This one is coming from. Am I Overreacting? Six days old, titled Am I Overreacting? Husband got me Edible Arrangements and then ate it all. My husband and I had a baby five months ago and I've been having a bit of a hard time lately. The last few days have been especially rough. Yesterday my husband thought it would be a nice idea to send me an edible arrangement with chocolate covered fruit and fruit shaped flowers. I was surprised by it and was so happy he thought to do something nice for me, which doesn't happen all that often. Last night I ate a few of the chocolate fruit pieces and shared some with my husband because it was really tasty. I put the rest away to eat within the next few days. I woke up this morning to find the edible arrangement container empty. He took the rest of it to work. I called him out on it and he said he wasn't sure I was going to eat the rest of it. Question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark.

[B]

Then ask.

[A]

This gesture just ended up making me feel sad and made me cry. Am I overreacting? It's just fruit.

[B]

No, he should have asked you.

[A]

That would actually have me crashing out. I've like cried over a lot less so I would freak the fuck out.

[B]

See, I don't know that I would care that much. But at the same time, the fact that he doesn't do nice things for her often.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Then that and like you're so excited about it and thinking like, that's so sweet. And then he basically like cuts it. Like not even in half, but like.

[A]

He just took your gift. Like you didn't even get a gift because he took it.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

It wasn't for you, was it for him so he could bring his co workers at work? Like, who is this really for?

[B]

Then who does that without asking them too. Like, that's weird. Like, if he were to be like, are you going to eat more of this? Like, and if she says no, then be like, okay, well I'd love to bring it to work if you're not going to have any more so that other people can enjoy it. And then she says, yeah, sounds good. Then like, that's a different conversation. Just like giving someone a gift and then taking it away is so weird.

[A]

It's so weird. Weird. It's so weird.

[B]

It's like it's. For me, like, it would be the principle more than like the, the edible arrangement.

[A]

See, I'm like, you don't touch my chocolate covered strawberries. You don't touch my cantaloupe. You leave my star shaped honeydew alone. Yeah, like, I would just be so downtrodden. I would just freak out. I really would. Because it's like you're having a hard time. You're having a baby. Sounds like you're at home taking care of the baby. He's at work. You're probably just like going through it by your dealing with being a mom. And then you get this nice gift that you don't get all that often. And then he just snatches it back. And then it's like my head. I know it's about fruit, you guys, but I'd be like, do you care about me? Do you respect me? Clearly not because you stole my fruit back. Yeah.

[B]

Do I need to sleep with one eye open?

[A]

Can I trust you? I don't think so. You're stealing food from my table. Taking that chocolate covered strawberry straight out of my mouth. Yeah. I don't know if I can rely on you to be a provider for this family anymore.

[B]

No, you can't even provide for. I couldn't keep it up.

[A]

But no, I don't think you're overreacting. Is it the end of your marriage? No, like you gotta have a conversation and tell him why you're hurt and.

[B]

Just he needs to do nice things for you more often too.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Absolutely. Top comment.

[B]

Especially like while you're carrying his baby and gave birth to his baby. Like, he should be doing extra nice things to you. So the fact that like he doesn't do that often, that is concerning to me.

[A]

This one present, bare minimum.

[B]

Yeah, like this one instance isn't concerning to me. But like, if he's consistently not showing up for you, then that is a different story.

[A]

I can't imagine choosing to be with a partner that doesn't show up for you. Yeah. Like, I really can't imagine. Like, I just am blown away by how much Justin goes above and beyond to make sure things are special for me.

[B]

Like, he really does. He.

[A]

That man, like, he fucking loves me. Yeah. Wedding day. Like, he got everyone, like, around. He, like, wrote all of my bridesmaids cards.

[B]

The sweetest thing ever. I literally, like, was like, do I need to redo my speech? Because I need to say. Because normally, like, the maid of honor speech is supposed to be more tailored to you, and then, like, rap in, like, the partner.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then, like, best man is more about the guy rapping. Yeah. But then after I read that, I'm like, I need to add more. I, I, I, like, started panicking. I was like, morgan. And she's like, it's fine.

[A]

You're. No, your speech was amazing. But, like, he made sure everyone felt so loved and, like, special and, like, wrote all of my bridesmaids cards. He got me, like, a diamond tennis bracelet that he literally went downtown and, like, custom made. He put my birthstone in his birthstone hidden in the back by the clasp. He didn't stop there. I didn't realize it until we walked into the tent, but we were, like, looking at all the florals, and, like, I was seeing the tent for the first time, and I'm, like, looking around, and all of a sudden I see this basket, and it was a wicker basket from Venus et Fleur, however the fuck you say that. Like, the Forever Flower place. And I had sent him this Instagram ad of that basket, and I had sent him that, like, ad from Instagram months ago. Months ago. And he had it at our wedding, like, at our placemat, waiting for me to get. And I'm like, you didn't have to do any of this. Like, a nice card. But then, like, all of that, and he's just like, I just wanted you to have the perfect day and feel so loved.

[B]

I'm, like, so sweet.

[A]

I'm like, this girl can't even keep her damn fruit. She can't even get her fruit.

[B]

I demand justice.

[A]

I'll send you an arrangement.

[B]

Oh, my God. No. Justin has done, like, the sweetest, most thoughtful things for you. The. I just remember when you first started dating, and, like, you guys were walking along Venice and you saw this, like, horse painting that you were like, oh, I love that. And you asked how much it was. You're like, oh, it's too expensive. And then he came back, like, the. Either the next day or, like, that very same day and bought it for you and sur. And surprised. How you say surprised? And surprised you.

[A]

He just got to stick with it now.

[B]

And he surprised it with you. Oh, my God. What's wrong with me? And then he gave it to you, like, months later.

[A]

Stop.

[B]

God damn it.

[A]

Surprised.

[B]

I don't want to do that word anymore. Yeah, it was really cute. And he surprised you with it months later at this very specific time.

[A]

Yeah. For my birthday.

[B]

Yes. Very specific time.

[A]

A very specific time. Yes. The day I was born. On that anniversary of that magical day.

[B]

It was so long ago. I don't remember.

[A]

I know, but he's very thoughtful.

[B]

The other thing he did too, with the. Oh, my God. It was one of those things where you, like, opened up a gift every day or, like, opened up a note.

[A]

Made me like a advent calendar.

[B]

That was so cool.

[A]

It was incredible. Like, every single day had this, like, thoughtful gift or like, a note to a puzzle piece for the big final gift.

[B]

So cool.

[A]

And it was like a T shirt with, like, like my pony on it. Like one of those, like, band graphic collage things. It's just like, he's so thoughtful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think that's why this story.

[B]

Where I'm like you. Yeah.

[A]

It really irks me because, like, that if he wants to, he will. And it, like, does not have to be financial. Like, effort does not have to be financial. It just needs to be effort. It needs to be thoughtful. Right. It can be free. But put in some effort.

[B]

Well, like, like, specifically because, like, gifts are a big part of your love language. So that's why it's like, that equals, like, effort. That equals, like, showing that somebody's thinking of you.

[A]

So.

[B]

No, that makes a lot of sense. Why this one, like, totally is just pissing me off.

[A]

Yeah. Top comment. No offense, but is he a moron?

[B]

They all are.

[A]

Next one. Oh, we established that of the highest order. Next comment after that. I feel that's unfair to morons. Damn. He bought her something that she was kind enough to share with him, and he decided that wasn't enough. Of course she was gonna eat them. They were delicious. And why she shared. He knew that and took them anyways. He's a greedy asshole.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Next comment down. In response to no offense, but is he a moron? The person goes, yes. That's it?

[B]

Just yes.

[A]

Did he really bring it to work or get the late night munchies and then realize his mistake and feel embarrassed? Ask him to get you another one. Op responds, right before we went to bed, he was snacking a bit on It But I saw him put the rest back in the fridge. When I saw the empty container this morning, I figured he had taken the rest to work. Yesterday he asked me to buy some fruit when I went grocery shopping so he could take some to work. I bought three different kinds of fruit for him this morning. He only took the edible arrangement and didn't take any of the fruit I bought at the grocery store. Why is he so dumb? Literally, he made you go get him fruit for work and then took your gift to work instead of the fruit that he made you go out and get him.

[B]

Also, why is he bringing fruit to work?

[A]

Weird.

[B]

I don't even know anyone that brings fruit to work. Like, like for the office, you know?

[A]

I mean, I don't know. I guess if you're having like a potluck, someone brings fruit or a veggie tray, but not your wife's gift. Yeah, we do get an update. Okay. You weren't very excited for that.

[B]

My head was still in it in the other place. I'm here with you now in the bad place.

[A]

No update. After work, he went and bought all the stuff to make me a big container of chocolate covered strawberries and app. Honestly, the ones he made ended up being way better than the edible arrangement ones. He apologized and said they were all for me.

[B]

There we go. We love someone who can correct their wrongs real quick. How do you feel? Are you satisfied? You hate them still?

[A]

No, I'm like, if OP said they tasted better, I'm sure they did because they were made with love.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I love. But I'm still like, I like the effort of it. Like, I like the. That he's actually getting dirty with it.

[A]

He's putting in effort.

[B]

He's putting an effort.

[A]

I mean, it is a lot more effort to melt the chocolate, dip the fruit, let it set. Like, that is a lot of work. And like, honestly cut the fruit. Oh, yeah. And it's really easy to like mess up the chocolate. I just made chocolate covered something for like Michaela's little birthday smorgasbord. She had like, each person had to make a different item. And we made chocolate covered fruit and angel food cake.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And the first time we melted the chocolate, we actually it like stalled.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

And it just like harden, harden.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that can happen. So it's like, it is a lot more effort. So I'm satisfied with it. It's. It's good. This is sweet.

[B]

I'm also on Whole 30 right now. And so. And it's been really Great. But you talking about, like, chocolate.

[A]

You can't have chocolate. No.

[B]

You can't have, like, anything. It's, like, very, very strict.

[A]

Dude, I saw a clip. Really happy you're doing it. It'll be great. Yeah, But I saw a clip of Victoria Beckham because her new documentary came out, and David Beckham was like, would you like a whisper? It's like, some British chocolate. And she goes, ew. I haven't had chocolate since the 90s. I'm not gonna start now. And I'm like, you haven't had a piece of chocolate since the 90s?

[B]

Brutal.

[A]

You haven't had chocolate since I was born.

[B]

That's heartbreaking.

[A]

That's. That's. Wow, that is so hard for.

[B]

What.

[A]

What's one piece of chocolate going to do to you?

[B]

Spiral. Become that Willy Wonka kid who falls in the chocolate.

[A]

Okay. I will say I made the mistake of buying all of our Hando Hando Ween all of our Halloween candy early to get ready for our trick or treaters, because we get a lot. And that was a mistake. Because I can't stop eating the candy.

[B]

Yeah. No, I can't stop addictive. That's why. So. Well, that's with, like, the whole.30 is not actually meant to be like a weight loss diet. It's meant to, one, figure out your food sensitivities, which I really have been talking about wanting to do for a while. And now I'm, like, actually gonna figure some stuff out.

[A]

It's gonna be great. Great. And then we're gonna do colonoscopies. Because colon cancer is rising in young adults. It's time for all of us to get checked. Justin's scheduled his appointment.

[B]

Really? Well, I. I was. I went in and asked about it, and they denied me.

[A]

I'm too. You're too young. Tell them you're bleeding out your asshole.

[B]

Lie.

[A]

Do what you gotta do. You pay for insurance.

[B]

Yeah. It's also expensive, too. Like it was with my last insurance. I mean, not so expensive, but not ideal.

[A]

Worth it to find out if you have colon cancer or not. Well, yes, I think so. Justin's friend just got a massive nodule snipped out. Really? He's got to do colonoscopies every six months now because it was so big.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. And he's 28. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Did he, like, see signs, though?

[A]

No, none. Yeah, so it's time. The amount of messages I get from you guys where you're like, I had stage three colon cancer. I had stage four colon cancer. Like it is on the rise. And how many people do you talk to? They're like, I have weird stomach stuff. Yeah, my stomach hurts all the time. I only rain pee out my asshole. Like so many people have problems.

[B]

I don't know if I've had anyone say that to me, but it's true.

[A]

I'll tell you that the next time it happens to me. It's pretty common these days. Something ain't right.

[B]

But yeah. Anyway, so I go through phases where I'm like, I need ice cream every night to complete the day.

[A]

I bought these pumpkin spice donut holes from Trader Joe's. They are so good. But Justin had probably four of them and I ate the rest. And there were like three left today and I had to throw them in the garbage to stop myself. So that's actually the worst part about.

[B]

Doing this during October is I love those type of flavors.

[A]

They're so good.

[B]

There's so many fun treats during Halloween. I love Halloween. Anyway, yeah, next story, next story.

[A]

I want a cookie.

[B]

You do?

[A]

Okay, this next one. Let me give you a choice. Option one. Am I the asshole for pointing out my daughter's imperfections after she said she understood why her father cheated on me since I gained so much weight?

[B]

Wow, that just said trauma in so many different languages.

[A]

Or my ex wife predicted my future in painful details and I can't sleep at night because of it.

[B]

Why'd you do this? They're both so intriguing. I don't like that you did this to me. And us. Sorry. I don't know.

[A]

Do you want to flip a coin?

[B]

Probably, yeah.

[A]

We haven't left anything to the coin flip in some time. Okay. Which one do you want to be? Heads.

[B]

Heads will be the first one.

[A]

Okay. Tails the second. Tails. Okay.

[B]

Tails it is.

[A]

I'm unsatisfied.

[B]

So do you want to do the first one then?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, let's do it.

[A]

I'll read the other one on Patreon.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So again the title. Am I the asshole for pointing out my daughter's imperfections after she said she understood why her father cheated on me since I gained so much weight? I, 45 female, feel extremely guilty. I won't act as if I'm the most desirable wife in the world. I did gain a lot of weight. I did let myself go. My husband, 47 male, is by far the better looking one. But I don't think I deserved to be cheated on. He did the stereotypical thing of cheating on me with a young thin woman, 28 female. Of course, My husband didn't want to be the one to tell our daughter, 22, female, that we're getting divorced. We only have the one daughter. Even though she's an adult, I expected it to hurt her. Our daughter was always closer to her father than me. The talk was just between my daughter and I. I told her that her father and I both love her more than anything and that nothing will change that. That neither of us regret a marriage that gave us her. But we're getting a divorce. She just stared into space and I hugged her. After the hug, she was just staring at me out of nowhere. She asked if her father had cheated on me. I had no plans of telling her that, but I didn't know what to say given that she asked. I said yes. She asked me, what did I expect? She said she understood why he did it. Since I had gained so much weight, I was devastated all over again. That was the last thing I expected her to say.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I know that my daughter has a boyfriend. 25, male. I told my daughter that she's not so thin herself. And I asked her what if her boyfriend cheated on her because of her weight. I asked her what if her boyfriend cheated on her because of her acne. I told her that right now she smelled and she's wearing crappy clothes. I asked her if she expects her boyfriend to love her as she is or to cheat on her. She had tears in her eyes. She told me that I shouldn't be picking on her since my man doesn't find me sexy anymore. Right now, I'm just broken and I can't trust my own judgment. I was expecting more sympathy from my daughter. I don't know if my reaction was appropriate. Am I the asshole?

[B]

I don't feel like I'm giving sound advice, but I'm like, no. I'm like, you're not the asshole, like pop off queen. But like, I know that's wrong.

[A]

It's really tough. Cause it's like, you know, kids hurt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But kid air quotes is also a 22 year old young woman.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Like, come on, it's.

[B]

Yeah, like, where is that child's empathy?

[A]

Like, how is that your first reaction?

[B]

How is that like your knee jerk thing that you're gonna spit out?

[A]

I get why dad cheated on you because you've gained a lot of weight. What? And also your dad cheated on your mom with someone that's six years older than you. How are you not repulsed by him? Come on, girl. It reminds me of that quote. Oh, what is it often father and Daughter look down on mother. Together, they exchange meaningful glances. When she misses a point, they agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother's fate. Hmm. It's basically this, like, quote, this old timey quote, and I don't even know where it came from, but essentially, like, it's some, like, a common trope that in a dynamic with, you know, parents and a daughter, the daughter will laugh at the mom. The daughter will, you know, be the father's girl, the daddy's girl at the mom's expense, rather than just like, loving both parents equally. Like, they'll belittle mom, they'll laugh together at mom. I've seen it play out with my family of my own, and it's weird where it's like, that's your mom. Why are you picking on your mom? And essentially, once that daughter becomes a mother, she will share that same fate. You're not better than your mom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're not smarter than your mom. Like, you will have that fate. And it's just like, it's kind of giving that. Where it's like, you're choosing your dad, who's kind of a pig, rather than just like, being a decent person towards your mom and having, as you put it, empathy.

[B]

I mean, at 22 years old, like, I. I can't imagine. I can't imagine saying that at any age, honestly. So for me, like, I don't really. I don't feel bad for the daughter that the mom responded that way is all I'm saying. And I know that, like, maybe my response should be a little bit more like, okay, that's not the way. That's not how to, like, handle it. Yeah, you're still the mother. But, like. But part of me is like, yeah, good.

[A]

Good for you for once.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I could see a lot of people being like, everyone sucks here. But at the same time, you weren't saying to her, well, you're fat, you have acne, you're ugly. You were simply posing a question to her to be like.

[B]

To ponder.

[A]

To ponder. Like, if your boyfriend cheated on you because of your acne, is that okay? Yeah. Like, you're not.

[B]

Or because you're not negative. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Like, you're just trying to get her to, like, realize how silly what she said was. Right? So I'm like, in that case, I'm like, maybe this was a learning lesson that she needed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I personally. Maybe this will get me some flack. I don't know. I personally think. Not the asshole. I do realize a lot of people could go, everyone sucks here, or you're the asshole even. But it's my personal take.

[B]

I mean, that's. I mean, that's what I've been throwing out too, So I like it.

[A]

I like it. Top comment, let's hear it. Not the asshole. Oh, 22 is old enough not to blame someone for getting cheated on or a marriage ending. Your ex is a coward for not telling her. But given her horrendous reaction that it was somehow your fault, I imagine it would have gone down that way regardless. She sounded like she needed a good kick up the ass. And verbally, you did so only using the exact same logic applied to you.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I wouldn't be chasing after her. Focus on yourself and getting your life straight. It might make her realize what she's done and that she went too far. I would make my kid humble themselves after that. Because she owes you an apology. Yeah. Next comment down. Honestly, you're not the asshole, but everyone else is. Her dad cheated with a woman only six years older than her. And I don't care how rail thin you are. Perverts like that have a type. Young and dumb. Your adult daughter was cruel. And how more guilty and shitty would it be if she was a mean girl from someone outside of the home? You did the universe a favor by nicking that bad behavior in the bud. She fucked around and found out you're human. That happens to be a mom. It's not outlandish to expect some sort of empathy. And her cruelty is concerning.

[B]

That's what I'm. I'm like. It's actually very concerning to me. Yeah.

[A]

And OP doesn't respond to that one. Do I have a leg to stand on talking about her lack of empathy after what I said? Yes. Yours was a reaction.

[B]

Hers was just like being a bitch.

[A]

Yeah. It was like you were reacting to.

[B]

Her being a bitch. She was just being a bitch.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And someone does reply. Yes, you do. She was kicking you while you were down, while you were showing her how the tables can turn. You do have empathy.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

You didn't say what you said to hurt her. And you wouldn't blame her if she was cheated on. You were actually trying to get her to empathize with you by showing her how it would feel to be in your shoes. You did nothing wrong. She just needed to learn a lesson. Opie does have a few other comments. Basically, like asking people when they're pointing out that her daughter could have like, some internalized misogyny. And OP Is just, like, clearly, where do you see that? Like, trying to get more. Whatever. Someone does say everyone sucks here. But I can understand your reaction. She's an adult, not a child anymore. OP Goes, I agree with everyone sucks here. I wish I had a better reaction to what she said. I wished I was composed enough to ask her why that was the first thing she said.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

OP Is like, I feel like we failed her. Honestly, I don't think it's a we. I think, if anything, like, your husband kind of failed in that sense. Like, he should have been a part of that conversation with you.

[B]

Agreed.

[A]

I don't know why that was your burden to bear, being the one to break the news to her that you're ending your marriage. Like, takes two people to have a marriage. He's calling it quits. He should be there. He shouldn't be let off the hook like that. Yeah. Opie has a comment here. In recent years, from the outside, my husband may have come off as a man who was bored with his wife. Is that enough to have such an impact on our daughter? Basically just being like. I think people are implying, like, your daughter's clearly gone through some stuff like, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it's like, I don't know. OP also says, I feel like my daughter must have had some seriously bad influences, maybe from her father or someone else. So just kind of trying to rationalize with this behavior and why her daughter is so cruel. One of the most controversial comments is, everyone sucks here. Wow. She was shitty to say that. Yikes. You were shitty to respond in kind. What the fuck? You're her mother. You know that wasn't appropriate. Y' all both need to get on the female empowerment train. You both have some serious internalized misogyny going on there.

[B]

No. Wrong.

[A]

I like it. Well, that was a serious bruh ending, bruh. I've got a few more of these that are going over to Patreon. It's gonna be a whole theme over there this month.

[B]

Am I gonna be on it at all?

[A]

You could pop over there with me. We could keep tackling the rest of these. You're well, well versed and trained in the bruh now, bruh.

[B]

I'm gonna be back around town on Thursday.

[A]

Hey, we'll see what I can do. I am researching for my Clues podcast Thursday, but maybe I can squeeze in. Squeeze. I'll squeeze in. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for being here. Another episode. Head over to Patreon if you want to see Lauren squeezed in there. Um, but really appreciate you guys being here. If there's any themes, any theme ideas would be really appreciated because my brain hurts. Um, but any themes, guest stories you want to see us cover, put it in the comments. I am open to suggestions, but other than that. Until next time.

[B]

Until next time, bruh.

[A]

Bye, guys.

[B]

Bye, bruh.

[A]

Sam.