243: The People Are Ill..?

Summary

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Two Hot Takes — Episode 243: "The People Are Ill..?"

Release Date: November 20, 2025
Host: Morgan Absher
Co-host: Lauren

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Morgan and Lauren dive into a wild array of stories showcasing people's questionable (often straight-up “ill”) behavior as culled from Reddit, their own subreddit, and listener write-ins. The “Are the people ill?” theme provides the perfect throughline for tales ranging from workplace weirdness to intolerable houseguests, relationship betrayals, poop in the shower, postpartum marital meltdowns, and a classic "palate cleanser" romance.

Listeners can expect classic Two Hot Takes flavor: laughter, empathetic rants, and the hosts’ reliable knack for mixing deep insights with absolute absurdity.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. [09:37] Vision Board Creepiness:

Story: "My Coworker Secretly Used My Face in Her Vision Board Relationship Collage. And I Don't Know How to Act Normal Now"

• Summary:
  A woman discovers her coworker has cut out her LinkedIn photo and glued it onto a romantic vision board, paired next to a headless hunk.
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Both Morgan and Lauren are unsettled, but Lauren initially seems more willing to give the coworker the benefit of the doubt (“I’m so flattered…?” [11:57]).
  • Morgan pinpoints the weirdness: “It’s almost like a weird voodoo doll… I think overall it is just odd behavior.” [13:50]
• Advice to OP:
  • Ultimately, set clear boundaries and consider reporting to HR if it feels stalkerish.
  • “At the bare minimum kind of inappropriate for work.” [19:12]
• Notable Quote:
  • Morgan: “You cut out my head, put it on a picture of a woman, and then next to the woman is a man without a head...who’s supposed to be on that man?” [15:40]
• Timestamps:
  • Discussion: [09:37] – [22:13]

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2. [22:16] Dodging a Bullet: The Careless Widower

Story: "I Ghosted My Boyfriend After I Found Out Who He Really Was. Nobody Knew Why..."

• Summary:
  OP recognizes, on dates, a man she once saw abandoning his terminally ill wife — she works in healthcare and observed his neglect. Unable to confront him, she ghosts him, and years later still wonders if she should have said more.
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Lauren: “I wish OP would have said it so that we could have saw his face.” [28:56]
  • Morgan expresses horror at the confirmation of the stereotype about men leaving sick wives: “You didn’t beat the odds. You, like, literally fed into that stat.” [27:12]
• Empathy & Validation:
  • Both affirm OP did nothing wrong, and urge listeners: you’re not obligated to explain yourself to people who treat loved ones so callously.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Lauren: “...when you see these other sides come out, instead of being like, I gotta leave, we think we gotta teach them how to love me correctly. And sometimes, sometimes that can work. But most of the time it’s this never-ending game of making yourself crazy…” [88:50] (see later section, too)
• Timestamps:
  • Discussion: [22:16] – [30:00]

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3. [30:00] The Swiftie Roommate from Hell

Story: "My Brother-in-Law Moved In and Hates My Favorite Artist"

• Summary:
  OP and partner, both huge Taylor Swift fans, let partner’s brother move in rent-free after hard times. He repays them by prohibiting Taylor’s music, causing angry scenes over even mild exposure, and reacting with tantrums and thrown utensils.
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Lauren’s outrage: “He’s out. I would kick him out so fast.” [34:34], “This guy sucks. Ungrateful weirdo.” [33:22]
  • Morgan: “He’s deranged…You know how much you love this artist… and he goes above and beyond to incite this hateful energy…” [39:01]
• Advice:
  • Draw boundaries, consider an end date, and refuse to tiptoe in your own house.
• Update:
  • OP sat him down; he admitted he was out of line; they're trying bi-weekly check-ins and have (for now) returned to peace.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Morgan: “Your brother and his partner are… paying for your weed even. It’s just, that’s an essential item…” [38:18]
  • Lauren: “I just think that this, like, behavior is so despicable...Now it’s personal.” [41:02]
• Timestamps:
  • Story & discussion: [30:00] – [49:13]
  • Update & resolution: [43:35] – [48:38]

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4. [55:24] The Scream-Sneezer & The Petty War

Story: "Am I the Asshole for Asking My Husband Not to Sneeze Like That?"

• Summary:
  OP’s husband has started “scream-sneezing” after 17 years of marriage. When she (in pain with a headache) asks him to tone it down, he retaliates by making a snide comment about her period blood and demands she clean it.
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Morgan: “This is a dude thing with age—my dad has become this person…” [56:11]. She’s “pissed” at how petty the husband gets.
  • Lauren compares it to policing bodily noises (“I yell at my partner for his burping…Is that similar?” [57:14]).
  • General consensus: the issue is less sneezing and more severe communication breakdown, and a worrying tit-for-tat attitude.
• Memorable Moment:
  • Morgan: “If Justin then would have came to me and been like, ‘open your hand’...and he goes, here’s a piece of paper towel for you to go wipe up your period blood, you nasty woman—like, I’m just like, that’s how it feels.” [59:03]
• Timestamps:
  • Discussion: [55:24] – [62:14]

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5. [65:35] The "Oopsie Poopsie": Waffle-Stomping Revisited

Story: "Am I Overreacting? She Shit With Me In the Shower"

• Summary:
  After a drunken night, OP’s new girlfriend poops in the shower, pushes it down the drain with her toe, and when confronted later, admits she does it regularly as a sign of “being herself.”
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Both hosts are grossed out — Morgan: “When you start pooping in that shower, that’s where I draw the line.” [70:55]
  • Hilariously nostalgic reference to earlier Two Hot Takes “waffle-stomping” classic.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Lauren: “Safety hazard. We can. We can’t have any of that.” [68:16]
  • Morgan: “This is the poo that should get pushed down the drain with the toe. Toe the fuck out of this log.” [94:55]
• Timestamps:
  • [65:35] – [75:14]

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6. [77:54] The Ultimate “The People Are Ill” Story: Postpartum Husband Meltdown

Story: "Am I the Asshole If I Told My Husband I Wanted a Divorce After He Made Fun of How Many Pants I Tried On?"

• Summary:
  OP, after a traumatic C-section, begs her husband for cultural postpartum support, which he disregards. She is left to recover alone, handle all baby care, and is belittled over her changing body. When she takes longer to get ready, he mocks her trying on pants. The final straw leads her to contemplate divorce.
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Complete outrage.
  • Morgan: “This is the poo that should get pushed down the drain with the toe…” [94:55]
  • Lauren: “This guy is probably not your guy long-term…” [103:04]
  • Both emphasize the rampant, normalized neglect some women face; urge listeners not to accept bottom-tier treatment.
• Update:
  • Husband does the bare minimum only after prodding; later reverts to gaslighting/dismissiveness.
  • Listeners are encouraged to recognize red flags and seek more from partners.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Morgan (re: postpartum Chinese tradition): “This is what I need. I think every woman needs this. Deserves this.” [93:04]
  • [Direct quote from powerful Reddit comment discussed]: “He gets it. He just doesn’t care.” [86:22+]
• Timestamps:
  • Story: [77:54] – [104:01]
  • Comments & deeper analysis: [84:58] – [104:47]

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7. [107:20] Palate Cleanser: “My Dentist Asked Me Out”

Story:
After a run-in at the grocery store, a guy is asked out by his dentist. He’s unsure whether to mix business and pleasure.

• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Lauren: “Find a new dentist, idiot. Harry Potter and love of your life over finding a new dentist?" [109:17]
  • Morgan and Lauren are delighted by the update: they start dating, bond over Harry Potter, and agree she’ll no longer be his dentist before progressing physically to avoid ethical dilemmas.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Top Reddit comment: “It’s easy to find another dentist, but it’s hard to find a good wife.” [111:02]
  • Morgan sums it up: “That was a great palate cleanser.” [112:46]
• Timestamps:
  • [107:20] – [117:57]

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

Morgan: “You cut out my head, put it on a picture of a woman, and then next to the woman is a man without a head whose head is supposed to be on that man.” [15:40]

Lauren: “He’s out. I would kick him out so fast.” [34:34]

Morgan: “He’s deranged…The minute you throw your dinner away because you’re so disgusted you can’t be in the same room as the music…that fork is gonna come flying at your ass. And I hope it shish kebabs you.” [39:39]

Morgan: "This is the poo that should get pushed down the drain with the toe. Toe the fuck out of this log." [94:55]

Referenced Reddit wisdom: "He gets it. He just doesn’t care." [86:22]

Lauren (relationship wisdom): “…you just end up being the worst version of yourself and screaming towards the end of the relationship until you finally are done.” [88:50]

Top Reddit comment: "It’s easy to find another dentist, but it’s hard to find a good wife." [111:02]

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Episode Structure & Flow

• Opening Banter & Theme Setup: [00:01] – [09:37]
• Story 1: Vision Board Coworker [09:37] – [22:13]
• Story 2: The Careless Widower [22:16] – [30:00]
• Story 3: Swiftie Roommate from Hell (+ update) [30:00] – [49:13]
• Physical & Emotional Regulation Tangent (“vagus nerve,” “doorway magic”): [08:15] – [09:19]
• Misc. Poop/Prank Anecdotes: [04:11] – [09:19]
• Story 4: Scream-Sneezer Husband [55:24] – [62:14]
• Story 5: Shower Pooper (Waffle Stomp Redux) [65:35] – [75:14]
• Story 6: Postpartum Husband Horror (+ edits & updates) [77:54] – [104:47]
• Palate Cleanser Romance: The Dentist [107:20] – [117:57]
• Harry Potter Sidebar & Spoiler Warning [115:57] – [119:44]
• Closing Community Notes [119:44] – [121:09]

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Playful, self-deprecating, supportive: Morgan and Lauren alternate between cackling laughter (over the ridiculous) and sincere empathy (for story submitters and people dealing with serious relationship issues).
• Unfiltered & irreverent: Not skirting around bodily function stories or calling out men behaving badly.
• Encouraging & validating: Strong stance on boundaries, self-respect, and the need to ask for more in relationships.

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Takeaways

• The world’s full of “ill” people—but you don’t have to let them steamroll your life, happiness, or hygiene standards.
• From red flags to roommates outstaying welcomes to the need for partners to truly step up: don’t accept less than you deserve.
• Sometimes, you simply need a palate cleanser in the form of a hot dentist and a good Harry Potter marathon.

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Engage:

• Drop your "midwest words" for Morgan on IG/YouTube!
• Need a Christmas tree in LA? Comment for Morgan to send you one via Uber.

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Next Episode Teasers:

• Next week: Epic pranks and more tales of “the ill.”
• Patreon: A heavy post about a mother visiting her son in prison, with more intimate conversation.

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Further Reading:

• (Refer to 2xChromosomes Reddit post [“He knows. He doesn't care.”] for deeper commentary on gendered empathy gaps.) [Referenced at 86:22]

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End of summary. If you enjoyed this, check out @TwoHotTakes for more wild rides or contribute your own story for future hot takes!

Transcript

[Morgan]

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[Lauren]

I'm ready. Where's my.

[Morgan]

Gone. Is this thing on my.

[Lauren]

My hair is doing something crazy today.

[Morgan]

Why?

[Lauren]

I don't know. I just don't like it. I keep. It's one of those days where I wish it back and forth in front and back and ponytail and up and down. I don't know if you've ever noticed that fidget of me, but some days they're really. It's really obvious.

[Morgan]

No, my. I, like, I cannot stop messing with my hair and head lately. Like, I was editing last week's episode, you guys, and like, literally, I'm just like, stop touching your hair. I'm like, why?

[Lauren]

I know. I. I don't even watch them back because I'm like, I don't want to watch myself do my little, like, any type of repetitive fidgets.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lauren]

But I don't know. But here we are. Here we are.

[Morgan]

Here we are. We've got a really good theme today, I think. Hi.

[Lauren]

Hello.

[Morgan]

Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan, joined by Lauren. I did that with a guest today, and they looked at me like, what. What is that noise?

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Usually don't break it out for the strangers, but I can't believe you did.

[Lauren]

That for a stranger. I thought that was like, for. I thought it was special, but yeah.

[Morgan]

No, it is special each and every time. Okay. But yeah. I don't know.

[Lauren]

What.

[Morgan]

What was I just. What was I saying? It's one of those days, you know? But I think it's gonna be a good episode. When we recorded the Bruh theme.

[Lauren]

Bruh.

[Morgan]

Bruh. You had a line in there. And you were like, the people are ill. And that has stuck with me. I'm like, thank God Dan's think of a theme today.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So good. So that's our theme today. The people are ill. Slash, like are the people ill question mark or who, who is ill? Which person in the story is ill? Is anyone ill? I don't know. Just a bunch of chaos all across the board. Some new, some old, some updates, some no updates. It's going to be a surprise. Roulette, rapid fire. I've got options. I've got some gross stuff. You will see poop. You will hear poop. Not see it. You won't see it, but you'll hear it. You'll hear about it. We don't have pictures.

[Lauren]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

I don't think I'll refresh, but it's gonna be a really fun episode. And I, I got a glass of wine for the first episode in like three months.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

I don't think we've had wine on the show. You're not having wine. Lauren's still doing her whole 30, whole 60 now because it's past 30. She's just healthy.

[Lauren]

Well, yeah, I have broken the whole 30 and I wasn't exactly sure how I wanted to do it cuz I was slowly introducing foods and then unfortunately I went to a friend's giving a.

[Morgan]

Lot of dairy and friends giving.

[Lauren]

There was just so many beautiful foods and wine and I was like, you know what? So did that and then as you should. Now I'm kind of like back trying to still do whole 30 and then kind of like incorporate or just see how foods make me feel. So it's, it's still happening. It's just not as strict as it was.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah. It's good to figure out what your body needs and doesn't need and yeah, what, what makes you feel good?

[Lauren]

I. Speaking of poop. Oh, let's go back to that.

[Morgan]

Let's circle back.

[Lauren]

I. It's funny that you're talking that you accidentally said you guys will see poop because I did.

[Morgan]

You have to take a picture of your poop and send it to someone.

[Lauren]

No. Oh. But thanks for giving everyone that vision.

[Morgan]

Well, sometimes you have to do that with a doctor.

[Lauren]

No, I did not do. But I watched this video last night where this woman pretended that she had pooped in a Tupperware in a car and gave it to her husband. And his reaction, I don't think it was a fake. Like I think it was a genuine reaction and I couldn't stop Laughing like.

[Morgan]

I need to see that.

[Lauren]

I know. I want you to like insert it.

[Morgan]

I want to do this. I want to do this to Justin.

[Lauren]

You should.

[Morgan]

What did she use, a Tootsie Roll? No.

[Lauren]

So she used an actual like toy piece of poop like you can order online.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And then she put Nutella on top of it and then she sprayed it with this like spray. That's like four pranks. It's. It's like poop spray. And she sprayed it in this tub. Wear.

[Morgan]

Oh, the fart spray.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And then she goes, she closes it and then she goes, honey, I'm gonna use the bathroom before we like leave. Like one second. And then she gets back into the bathroom and she goes, here, hold this. And he's like, what is this? And she's like, what's my poop? Duh? And he's like, why would you poop in this? And then she ends up being like, it's not a big deal. And she opens it and puts it on his shirt and that's when he lost his mind. And I was rolling, laughing.

[Morgan]

God, she's ill. She is ill in the best way.

[Lauren]

I love her. I love. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I'm like, usually not a prank person, but the one where mom or dad or whoever will be on the toilet and be like, can you bring me toilet paper? And it's like their little two year old or something, like gets them toilet paper, five year old, six year old, whatever. They have Nutella or fake poop on their hand. And so as they reach for the toilet paper roll, they smear poop on the kid.

[Lauren]

Oh my God. Yes. Yeah.

[Morgan]

And the kids just, their reactions are so good. Some of them instantly lose it. Some of them are like, it's okay, mommy. Oh, like so good. So good. So maybe I'm okay with some pranks.

[Lauren]

I think pranks are hilarious. Like just not ones that are mean. The crazy ones that are like, haha.

[Morgan]

Like, oh, I had an insane one.

[Lauren]

Really?

[Morgan]

It's on next week's episode.

[Lauren]

It's horrible. Oh my gosh.

[Morgan]

Horrible.

[Lauren]

I guess I gotta listen in. Gotta tune in.

[Morgan]

Yeah, listen, let's see who's ill or not ill. I don't know. Let's dive in. Let's do it. This episode of two Hot Takes is presented by Ollie. Women always come first with Ollie. That's why they made their Love and Libido a supplement that helps take the pressure off so you can actually enjoy yourself and sex again. Be a little self serving and get Love and Libido at a Retailer near you [e-mail] so you can get yours. That's O L L Y.com promo code [e-mail] now through November 30th. That felt nice.

[Lauren]

That did feel nice.

[Morgan]

I don't know what is happening here today. We'll see.

[Lauren]

I think we should actually start off each episode that way. Oh, no, I lost it.

[Morgan]

That one was good.

[Lauren]

I've been hearing a lot of, like, what is like the vagus nerve or something? Yeah, I think that it healed it just now.

[Morgan]

Just now?

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Morgan]

If you flex your foot a couple times, that also can help with your vagus nerve and nervous system.

[Lauren]

Wow. I always do that.

[Morgan]

That's really stressed.

[Lauren]

That's going to be my new fidget.

[Morgan]

Up against a wall, really hard. That helps with, like, deep joint stimulation and that calms your nervous system. You have to, like, push really hard into a wall.

[Lauren]

I like doing the arm in the doorway thing.

[Morgan]

Yep, same thing. That's.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God. I. I haven't done that in a very long time and I need to. And if anyone hasn't somehow done this before, go in your door frame, put your arms on either side and, like, for. I'd say give it at least 60 seconds. Full 60 seconds, push out as hard as you possibly can. And then magic happens. Truly. Truly. I was about to say Harry Potter style. And then magic happens. And truly, like, your arms float. Like, I'm not kidding. They literally float. It's the craziest magic.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it's like that one thing. I don't know if anyone did this as kids. You'd have to, like, put your two fingers together, and then your friend would, like, keep tying knots, invisible knots, over your fingers. Whoa.

[Lauren]

No.

[Morgan]

And then as you pull them away, it, like, is really hard. You feel like you have, like, you're tied.

[Lauren]

Really?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I gotta try that one.

[Morgan]

I'll do it to you after. Let's get into these stories, though. This first one coming from our very own 2outtakes subreddit, 15 hours old. My coworker secretly used my face in her vision board relationship collage. And I don't know how to act normal. Now. This is going to sound insane, but I swear I'm not exaggerating. I, 28, female, work in a small office. One of my co workers, 30 female, is very into manifestation crystals, aligning energies, all of that. She's nice, a bit intense, but harmless. Or so I thought. Last Friday, we had a casual team lunch. Someone jokingly mentioned vision boards, and she lit up immediately. She said she actually brought hers because she wanted to update the universe during break, everyone just laughed. She pulled it out and that's when I saw it. There was a whole romance collage. Candles, beach, sunsets, champagne glasses. And in the middle was a cutout photo of my face. My face.

[Lauren]

So weird.

[Morgan]

And next to it, a torso of some random shirtless guy with his head cut out from the picture. I froze. My other coworker saw it too, and literally choked on her water. She tried to cover it up by saying, oh, no, no, no. It's just an energy representation. But guys, it was my actual LinkedIn photo. Printed, cut out, glued, next to half a man. She kept trying to explain, saying things like, it's not literally you. It's the energy you give me. And you attract what I want to attract. Everyone got super uncomfortable and quietly changed the subject. I could barely finish eating because my heart was in my throat. I don't know how to look her in the eyes on Monday. What do you even say? Is this harassment? Is it delusion? Am I overreacting? I feel violated and also weirdly guilty for feeling violated. This is the most bizarre situation I have ever been in. Any advice is welcome because I genuinely have no idea how to handle this without making work ten times more awkward.

[Lauren]

I think all of those feelings are very valid to that. I. I don't feel like I'm gonna have good advice here because I'm like a weirdo and I would be like, I'm so flattered.

[Morgan]

I did make one of these vision boards in and my face was on it. It was not. No, I didn't put myself on it at all. But I did cut out a picture of John. What's his last name? He's from the office. He's Emily Blunt's husband.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I forget too, but he's such a cutie.

[Morgan]

He was cute. He was in this magazine. I had limited magazines to work with. It was for, I don't know, something in grad school. And we had to create a vision board. And at that time, I was single. I wanted love. I wanted to find my person.

[Lauren]

Don't let Justin edit this.

[Morgan]

And I literally. No, he. He's seen it. He's seen the vision board because it was like, shortly before meeting him, and I put like this dark haired dude on it, kind of like a similar look. I don't know. And I put like, new flame because he's sorry. Yes.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yes. John. Yeah, yeah.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And so that it's like, sorry, Emily Blunt, if you're listening. Like, but like, that's someone who's unattainable and not in my circle. Yeah. But I do think it's kind of odd that she printed this picture from her coworker's LinkedIn and then got so excited to whip out this manifestation vision board. If I did that and I knew I put my coworker's face on it, that thing would be sitting at home. It's like. It's almost like a weird voodoo dollar. And I don't like, obviously this is in the theme just because it's super weird. Maybe she's dealing with a little bit of delusion. I don't know. But like, I think overall it is just odd behavior.

[Lauren]

I don't know if I'm just like, it is definitely odd behavior. 100%.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

But like, her reason that she came up with, I don't know if I'm just that gullible, but I'm like, oh, okay. Like, that tracks like, yeah, but like, But I haven't heard that with a vision board. Where do you put somebody else's face? Because I. Her response, if it's not true, was quick because it's like, okay, you see somebody that like, attracts all these type of men that you want. How do you embody that type of energy in order to get the type of men that you want to be attracted to you too and to chase you too? That explanation, I'm like, that doesn't. That doesn't feel like it's an impossible thing for her to do. But also it's like when you do a vision board, like, it should be all focused on you. You would think so. It seems odd to post about somebody else. Like, that almost feels like envy or like jealousy. But. But I don't know. I'm not really down. I don't really know a lot about those type of. The vision board lifestyle. I did, however, buy a book off of like, Tick Tock Shop or something of like a vision board material. And I just like, look through it in the morning because it's like, so pretty and like, fun little quotes like that. But like, you're supposed to like, cut stuff out and then like, make.

[Morgan]

Make your own with it. Yeah.

[Lauren]

But right now I just like it as a book.

[Morgan]

That's okay.

[Lauren]

Anyway, how you want long. Long story short, this is totally fair to be very creeped out. And I'm. I'm thinking she completely just forgot had, like, was like. And then she was like, oh, my God, this is so embarrassing. I forgot that I put a co worker on here.

[Morgan]

Thing, if that's the case. Poor thing.

[Lauren]

And then the other option is that she could be a huge creep. Well, that's a possibility.

[Morgan]

It's hard because it's like, you cut out my head, put it on a picture of a woman, and then next to the woman is a man without a head whose head is supposed to be on that man. Yeah, who's. Who's.

[Lauren]

Who, who, who, who? Like, does she just. Maybe she doesn't care about, like, the head. She doesn't care about the hair color. She just wants the abs and the pecs. She just likes the nips.

[Morgan]

I don't know. I also think, like, say I was making a vision board, and it's like, I want to embrace, like, Alejandra's work drive and your kindness and, like, all of that. I would put you on my vision board, but, like, we're friends, we're close, and, like, that would be a more, like, explainable thing. But, like, you could also just add the words, like, kindness and, like, heart. Like, I don't know. But. But I.

[Lauren]

But I.

[Morgan]

That's what I'm saying. They're not close. Right?

[Lauren]

And. But that's what I'm saying is, like, I don't fully understand, like, that. That when people are into, like, that lifestyle, like, it goes deep. Right? Like, and they're really about energy. So, like. Yeah, writing down kindness versus writing down, you know, what you think somebody else embodies. Like, I feel like you, like, writing down, like, I want good work ethic or putting Alejandra. When you think about Alejandra, you actually can, like, see it and feel it and, like, the energy, you know that she's like, when you see, like, hardworking, good work ethic, like, I don't know if you really feel it and believe it as much as when you see a person that you're like, that's inspirational. Like, she's a badass walking down the streets of nyc. Like, you know what I mean?

[Morgan]

Like, okay, so maybe not that weird.

[Lauren]

I don't know. I don't want to make excuses if.

[Morgan]

It is weird, but maybe not. I don't know. I'm really curious what everyone's takes on this one is. I'm a little bit lost. I don't know. I. I guess maybe not bad intentions, but don't whip it out at work in order to update the universe during break. And, like, I fully am on board with manifestation crystals aligning energies, whatever. Like, I think that is so cool. I do, too.

[Lauren]

I just don't know much about It.

[Morgan]

I don't know that much either. Like, I love getting my tarot ready.

[Lauren]

Literally.

[Morgan]

Martina read my tarot and Justin's tarot like a couple weeks before he proposed and like the tarot was on, like saying proposal. So I do believe in that stuff.

[Lauren]

I just think Justin's like, gotta move up the proposal.

[Morgan]

He. No, afterwards we talked about it and he goes, yeah, no, I, I felt that it was so crazy.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But it's just maybe not the time or place to expose your vision board in this way.

[Lauren]

No. And like, I don't blame OP for feeling violated. Like going onto somebody's LinkedIn and printing out a photo of them and then seeing it somewhere. I don't know, like that. I, that, I do understand that that would feel really odd.

[Morgan]

Let's get into the comments. Okay, top comment. I'd start keeping that energy representation to myself and limit your interactions with her and inform your boss of her weird stalkery vibe, which I don't know if you can say that in an HR meeting, but someone else responds to that and goes, co, sign, document everything. Send a short boundary email, like, please remove my image from your materials and do not use my likeness going forward. Then loop in your manager in HR so the request is on record. If she brings it up again, reply only in writing. So these people are taking like a very professional approach. Like, hey, it's at least at the bare minimum kind of inappropriate for work.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Which legally, like, I don't know, like, I, I think people. Do you remember those hear me out cakes?

[Lauren]

Yes. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, it's almost like in that weird way where it's like you printed off pictures of your co workers and then like made a hear me out cake, but you're on a vision board instead. I.

[Lauren]

But wasn't hear me out like, supposed to be like, they're gross, but I'd still hit. Yeah, like that's like super.

[Morgan]

Like it's worse. Yeah, I guess it's way worse. And so people were getting fired for the cakes.

[Lauren]

Good. So.

[Morgan]

No, it's bad. But I'm like, could you get in trouble for printing out your coworker's picture on LinkedIn and putting it on your vision board? I wonder if that's like an actual offense.

[Lauren]

I don't know. It doesn't feel like it unless it was repetitive. Like, I feel like a one time thing doesn't feel. But. But here's the thing is that bottom line is that OP feels really uncomfortable and you shouldn't feel uncomfortable in your place of work. So I agree that actions do need to be taken, like set bound, make sure you notify your manager, like all of those things. Should I agree with all of that? Because in your place of work, like, you deserve to have that, like, feeling comfortable.

[Morgan]

Absolutely. And people do start to get a little nervous in the comments. I mean, people are like, she's not trying to attract your energy, she's trying to be you. There's a weird envy or somehow a delusion vibe there and it's gonna get worse if no one checks it, to be honest.

[Lauren]

Well, like I. We don't have enough like background information to confirm that that's going on. Right. Like, does OP add any. Any other, like, moments where she's felt like this person is stalking her life.

[Morgan]

Or is this the one thing we don't have? Any comments from op?

[Lauren]

Yeah, see, I just, I wouldn't like be convinced of that from just this story. It is definitely a possibility.

[Morgan]

Could be innocent. I'm curious to see what everyone else thinks. Yeah, but we are gonna move along.

[Lauren]

I don't know if you saw me earlier when you were like saying some have updates, some don't have updates. I did like the emoji teary eyed thing face, like my face was smiling and I instantly was like, what, what?

[Morgan]

What? Well, we'll see. We'll see what ones coming up have updates.

[Lauren]

What if you had to pick? Would you say this person is ill or is innocent?

[Morgan]

I would say I'm gonna give the benefit of the doubt and say, hey, there's good intentions here, but maybe this person doesn't really understand like social norms and just like doesn't understand how this could be coming across to other people.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like I do think, like the explanation was like almost too quick for it to be a lie.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So maybe she looks at her co worker and is like, she's got a lot of friends at work. People like her. She does. Well, I'd love to embrace that.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Embody that type of vibe.

[Morgan]

I'm going to go glass half full, but okay. I could be off. I could be off. Okay, so this next one is coming from our Two Outtakes subreddit 22 hours old titled I ghosted my boyfriend after I found out who he really was. Nobody knew why, and I think people thought I was weird for a long time. Hello, Morgan. I'm a huge fan and your show saves me during my work commutes. I figured since I listened so much I should contribute. Here is my story. I, 30, female, had just started dating a really nice guy. 40 male we were on one of our first dates having a great time. He was considerate, fun, seemed like a really good person. At one point during our conversation he told me he was once married and has since divorced. He also told me his ex wife later passed away from cancer. At this point I felt a cold wash of dread start from the top of my head down to my toes because when he first asked me out I thought he looked slightly familiar. I figured out after he told me of his former marriage. He was the one who used to come to my place of employment with his then wife. I work in healthcare and we watched over time how he abandoned her during her treatment, when it got in the way of his social life, how she had to deal with everything on her own during her final months. He divorced her in her most vulnerable time. He was the worst. I hated him. And now he was sitting in front of me at dinner and I wanted nothing more than to smash his pasta dish in his face.

[Lauren]

Should have.

[Morgan]

But I was also really stupid and couldn't bring myself to break up with him right away. We went on some more dates and each time I tried to reconcile who I knew he was with who he appeared to be. But I couldn't do it anymore. As someone who loves to avoid confrontation, I slowly pulled a Homer Simpson and faded gently into the bushes. He eventually got the hint something wasn't right when I wasn't responding to his calls or messages and broke up with me via email. To this day I wonder what he thought happened. I know his friends thought I was a horrible person for just up and disappearing. Many of his social circle were not around during his marriage. I couldn't just tell him I thought he was a terrible person who abandoned his dying wife. He definitely did not remember me from my past workplace. I was a student and didn't do the main interacting with them. Should I have said anything or made up a reason? He has since married and I feel terrible for his wife. What if she got sick? But I also couldn't really say anything because it's also partially patient confidentiality. People think he is great. They think I'm the kind of person who ghosts dates. It's been years since this happened and I still reel over how I dodged a bullet, how wonderful and kind he seemed and how terrible his past history was. There's a lot of illness here in more ways than one. Yeah, genuine illness. Someone dealing with cancer. Is there anyone else that's ill in this story?

[Lauren]

I. I thought she said boyfriend. Ghosted boyfriend.

[Morgan]

That was the title. So they were ghosted. My boyfriend.

[Lauren]

But then it sounded like she had only gone on a few dates with him. So I'm a little bit confused there.

[Morgan]

Maybe boyfriend is used a little looser than you would use it.

[Lauren]

But, like, if that's the case, I'm like, why would you even spend a second worrying if somebody's thinking you're weird for ghosting someone? Like, whether we like it or not, it happens all the time. It's not like.

[Morgan]

I mean, I don't think she's ill.

[Lauren]

Yeah, no, no, no, I know, but I'm just wondering why she's even worried about what other people.

[Morgan]

What other people think. I don't know. Maybe, like, they run in a small social circle. But, like, if that's the case. I don't know. Sometimes I think a little gossip is healthy. I think it's okay to tell people. Like, oh, no. Like, I. I ghosted him because I recognized him right. From years ago when he abandoned his sick wife. Right.

[Lauren]

And that's why, like, op.

[Morgan]

That would have been fine.

[Lauren]

I wish OP said that to him. Like, I.

[Morgan]

Just to see his face. Yeah.

[Lauren]

And just to, like, be kind of called out. Like, he should.

[Morgan]

It was bad behavior.

[Lauren]

He should face that.

[Morgan]

It's really sad.

[Lauren]

It really is heartbreaking. And you know that. I think we've talked about this before, but that stat where it's like, yeah, if a woman in a marriage gets ill, the husband is likely to leave, whereas if it's the other way around, the wife is likely to stay and support the husband through it. So it's just like. It's one of those moments where it just makes you really sad to, like, hear confirmation of that happening.

[Morgan]

I know. It's like, you didn't beat the odds. You, like, literally fed into that stat. Yeah, I can't, like, I can't even imagine. Like, it doesn't matter. I love Justin so much. Like, I can't even, like, put myself in this headspace. But. But, like, no matter what went wrong, it doesn't matter how much I disliked him. He didn't even, like, sound like he disliked her. I mean, I don't know. It's like, were there other issues and then she got sick and it made it worse? Or truly, was it because she got sick and his social life was impacted? Like, genuinely, because this is an outsider looking in.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

But that's what it looks like.

[Lauren]

That's what it looks like.

[Morgan]

Is it a duck? Is that what it is? But, like, I can't imagine ever abandoning someone who's Dying? Who's sick? You don't know if she's dying. Maybe he did know she was terminal. Like, I can't imagine that. Like, yeah, it's so. It's so sad.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I think, like, and I was thinking about that, too, because it's like, we don't know what. What was going on behind the scenes. Like, I don't know.

[Morgan]

Like, what.

[Lauren]

Yeah. What if they were about to get a divorce and then she got sick? And so he was like, I'm gonna stay with you and help you. But it just got to the point where I don't know too much. Yeah. And, like, even then, I. I still feel that way. Like, it still is really sad. Someone that you love to, like, let them go through it on their own. Like, that. Even if you guys are not together romantically, like, you, I would just still hope that, like, somebody that you decided you care about enough to marry would want to stay by your side.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So, like, that still. That still sucks. But again, we don't know all the details. I think OP didn't do anything wrong. I wish OP would have said it so that we could have saw his face.

[Morgan]

Literally.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I want that Shocked Pikachu meme him.

[Lauren]

I don't know what that is. It sounds really cute.

[Morgan]

You've never seen Shocked Pikachu?

[Lauren]

Is it a new thing or an old thing?

[Morgan]

I feel like it's been around for a while. Oh, they call them Surprised Pikachu in the meme. Surprised Pikachu.

[Lauren]

Oh, I love Pikachu.

[Morgan]

You guys want to see his face when he gets called out?

[Lauren]

Yeah, I know that face. I just didn't know that was, like, a thing.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. How have you never seen this? Wow. Yeah. I don't know. You're not ill, Op. Don't fret about this. Thank you for sharing because this is like, some serious tea, but.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God, I already forgot that it was actually, like, a write in. It's one of our.

[Morgan]

It's one of ours. Our little babies. Yeah. No, this is. This is crazy. I think he's a little sick in the head for doing that to someone he supposedly loved and cared about in sickness and in health.

[Lauren]

And also, I. Yeah, I mean, who cares if his friends think it's weird that you ghosted him? Like, it's fine.

[Morgan]

Fuck his friends, too.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay, number three. I have a real good feeling about this one. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Okay, let's be real. We need people to support us. If your friends aren't keeping you on track and sharing their hot takes. Are they really your friends? Good friends show up and they speak up and like those friends, State Farm is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With so many coverage options out there, it's nice knowing you have support in finding what fits for you. So go [e-mail] or use the award winning app to get help from one of their local agents. Or like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Also, my friend just switched to State Farm and saved 50% when compared to his old insurance. So just saying, this is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. We are three for three on two Hot Takes stories right now. First, second, third two Hot takes baby. Nice fam. It is titled My brother in law just moved in and hates my favorite artist. Oh no. Hey hey. Two Hot Takes fam. Long time listener, first time poster. I love this community and the advice is always stellar so I'm hoping y' all will be able to help me. My partner, male, 23 and I non binary 25 are huge Swifties.

[Lauren]

Yay. I was literally gonna I was gonna use a story anyway, continue. But yeah we same same. I feel I I feel your pain already.

[Morgan]

We own every vinyl, almost all of the cardigans have her on almost all of our playlists. What can I say, she really does have a song to fit all my vibes and I even went to the ERAs tour recently. My partner's brother, Male, 22, fell on hard times. We moved away about six months ago and are renting a very small two bedroom house 12 hours away. About four months ago my partner's brother was kicked out of their family home by their mom. Long story, but she's a real piece of work and moved in with his partner. That didn't work out so well either. It was a rural area, decently far from the family and he wasn't able to find a job. After almost two months. He missed his car payments, lost his car and then also got kicked out of there. We've all been friends for years so we offered him our extra room to help him get on his feet a little bit. He's been here for about three weeks now and has found decent employment and has been a good help around the house. When he moved up here we knew it would be a drain on our resources. He had $0 to his name and a huge adjustment for us, but we didn't anticipate any huge issues. Now everything is coming to a head with Taylor Swift's new album coming out he's really amped up on his hatred for her.

[Lauren]

Okay, I would no, he's out.

[Morgan]

We can't listen to her in the car, watch any interviews, tiktoks, et cetera in the living room.

[Lauren]

Are you kidding me?

[Morgan]

That contain her, play any of our vinyls or talk about her even to each other without him blowing up. I totally get she's not for everyone and I respect that. I have friends and family who don't like her music at all and it doesn't bother me.

[Lauren]

Not liking her music is different than hating her. I can totally understand that this guy sucks. Ungrateful weirdo.

[Morgan]

But my brother in law all caps hates her. In my opinion, an unreasonable amount for a person you've never met. I feel like I'm not allowed to even exist in my own home without inciting an argument. On the rare occasion I do play a handful of Taylor Swift songs, he makes it a miserable experience between slamming doors, stomping around and making nasty comments.

[Lauren]

Oh my God he's out. I would kick him out so fast.

[Morgan]

He'S even interrupted my partner's work. He works from home to rant about her and send several fake news articles about her. Most recently tonight, my partner and I were cuddled up on the couch while eating dinner watching the tiktoks I've sent him and there were a few three containing her songs. His brother came down to grab food we don't always eat together, hung out for five minutes, heard two TikToks with her music, then got up, huffed and stomped, made a few comments I couldn't catch under his breath, threw his dinner in the trash and threw his utensils into the sink.

[Lauren]

I can't even listen to this. Like I'm so mad my heart's racing.

[Morgan]

Loud enough that it made me jump and then he stormed upstairs. We've tried to talk to him about it and say that he doesn't need to like her, but he needs to respect that we do and learn to tolerate her music in the house. We're not asking for listening parties or anything crazy. We've been pretty mindful, more than I'm comfortable with about playing her music or talking about her when he's anywhere near. However, I don't think it's unreasonable to say that we'd like to be able to have a glass of wine and pop an album on once a week or something after a rough week in our house where he is living rent free currently, we pay for everything including his weed. Oh my God and even tried to listen to his favorite artist, pointing out that until that exact moment, he never even had an idea. I can't stand them either. I've let him play their music, talk about them relentlessly, watch interviews, whatever, and I've kept my mouth shut because I don't see the point in ruining his joy over 10 minutes of my unhappiness. It obviously didn't change anything, aka why I'm posting here. The constant negativity and shitting on something I enjoy has really been getting to me. I've noticed I'm increasingly more irritable and on edge. I don't even want to be around him right now. I don't know where to go from here or how to fix it. He's only been here for three weeks and I've already had to tell my partner his brother may need to move out at this rate.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Two Hot Takes fam. What do I do?

[Lauren]

Oh, my God. I love that you're a Two Hot Takes listener. My heart goes out to you. I'm actually so angry, shaking. No, I don't. I, I'm not shaking.

[Morgan]

Trembling with rage, but my heart is.

[Lauren]

Like, actually racing because I've thought about this a lot where for all the celebrities that have been child stars and then get to the place they are right now and just celebrities in general, like Taylor Swift and everything that she's been under all of the pressure. Like, there's been so many things that she's had to go through, and she always does, like, perseveres. And I'm just so impressed with the way that she handles her life and communicates and stays positive because it can be easy for a human to crumble underneath all of that. It's like, for me, when people hate her music, that's so fine. Like, I.

[Morgan]

Everyone's got their own taste.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Hate, hate her music. That's totally okay. But, like, when people genuinely hate her, I, I'm like, how you clearly don't know anything about her if you hate her because she's just, like, so kind. Like. Yeah. I mean, at least from what she, like, shows us. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I mean, you're, you're the ultimate swifty. I would say, like, I enjoy the music, but I, I, I definitely don't know that much. Like, there's certain things I've seen online lately that have, like, kind of upset me. We've talked about it. Like, oh, I forgot where I'm like, oh, well, that's a little dicey. You should probably address that. But I do think, like, there's so Much energy behind this where it's like, this is not your home. Oh yeah, this is aggressive stomping doors because you hear someone. You don't like music? Grow the fuck up. This is not your house. Your brother and his partner, AKA your future, like in law like are kind. They're paying for your weed even. It's just, that's an essential item. It's.

[Lauren]

It's like this. It's ungrateful.

[Morgan]

Ungrateful, Entitled, rude, extremely respectful.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I.

[Morgan]

He's deranged. I know Range.

[Lauren]

You're getting kicked out of like two different places and that. And in your like lowest moments, you're gonna just go and make life even harder and basically push these people out too. Like of your life from helping you. Like why are you making it so hard for people to help you? It's not. You don't. It's not that common for people to help people no matter if their family or not, like in this way. So the fact that you have people that are willing to do this and you're going to just like all over something that makes them happy is so messed up. Like take Taylor Swift out of the equation, right? Cuz like I. Whatever. Like some people.

[Morgan]

Insert anyone. Yeah, insert anyone. Anyone? He knows how much you love this artist. You have the vinyls, you have the merch, you have everything. You love this artist. And he goes above and beyond to incite like this hateful energy. Like the minute someone slammed a door in my house. Oh, the minute you throw your dinner away because you're so disgusted you can't be in the same room as the music. And then you throw your silverware in the sink, that fork is gonna come flying at your ass. At your ass. And I hope it shish kebabs you. I hope it does just start booby.

[Lauren]

Trap, trapping the hot mess.

[Morgan]

I mean, at this point, like I'd say, hey, you know, your behavior is really, really unacceptable. Like we've gone above and beyond opening our doors, making sure your needs are met. We've put ourselves out there by giving you money, paying for non essentials like weed. We really have gone above and beyond to make sure you are in a safe, happy, healthy home and you have recreational fun. Like we've gone above and beyond and you're not being at the bare minimum, respectful.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

We're gonna give you three weeks to move out.

[Lauren]

That's. No, I'd be like, you're out now. I'm not even kidding.

[Morgan]

I know, but I don't know.

[Lauren]

I don't care.

[Morgan]

I Don't think he has any money.

[Lauren]

I don't care. Get the fuck out. You have a serious attitude problem and you need to fall on your ass and hard in order to adjust it. Because if you got kicked out twice before this, and this is how you treat your guest or your. Not your guests, the. The owners, like, you clearly need something big to happen in order for you to change. And something needs to give because this is so unacceptable. So, like, yeah, go and like, figure it out on your own. I know.

[Morgan]

And that's the other side. I mean, I think, like, hey, you hate this behavior. Notice, like, no, he can go find a roommate. He's working now.

[Lauren]

Nope. Like, right now you're done.

[Morgan]

Why am I being the devil's advocate a little on this one?

[Lauren]

I just think. I just think that this, like, behavior is so despicable. It's like, it's just like triggering and. And then add like, Taylor Swift. Now it's personal.

[Morgan]

So there are people that hate Taylor.

[Lauren]

Swift, that are listening, are like, literally, like, crossing out my face on everything.

[Morgan]

I mean, everyone is entitled to, like, who they like. Like it. I mean, I don't love certain artists, but, like, Justin does. And so I'll listen to them if they're in the car.

[Lauren]

That's. That's different though. You're not gonna spit on him for it.

[Morgan]

But I'm not disrespectful.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

He's disrespectful. Yeah. Top comment does say that. He's living rent free and throwing a fit over your music. The audacity. This isn't about Taylor Swift. It's about his respect for you in your own home.

[Lauren]

For sure.

[Morgan]

Time for a serious talk about house rules or an exit plan.

[Lauren]

Exit plan being now.

[Morgan]

Our. Our writer does respond. Thank you. That's what I've been saying. The level of disrespect is insane. He's been my best friend for three years and now we all live together and my partner and I are helping him financially and he acts like this.

[Lauren]

Wait, Brother in law's best friend?

[Morgan]

That's what. Oh, they're all like. I mean, it was like they were all friends.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So now I'm like, okay, maybe he's like, really comfortable. A little too comfortable.

[Lauren]

Okay, maybe we can give him like one week notice.

[Morgan]

I think two is.

[Lauren]

No, we can give him one week to get his shit together, and if he does, then he can stay for a little bit longer.

[Morgan]

Okay, I think that's a fair compromise. This other comment goes, not the asshole. I don't like Taylor Swift, but if you are graciously giving me a place to stay when I'm on hard times, your music choices would be my last thought. Yeah, I'd be more concerned about what chores I could do to pay you back while I looked for a job and to thank you on a daily basis. What to do? Well, he can shut the fuck up and contribute to the household or he can move out. Again, I really can't stand Taylor Swift. If someone was kind enough to offer me a home when I needed help, I'd be so grateful. Being a jerk about what music you love is such a terrible thing to comment on. You seem so kind and I'm sorry this is happening.

[Lauren]

Why? Why do people like can't stand her. Like I don't understand that.

[Morgan]

We're going to have to ask some people in the comments.

[Lauren]

I just think like it's. You see that like her art brings so many people happiness and connection. Like why does that make you angry?

[Morgan]

I do not know. But we do have an update.

[Lauren]

This is like the one I don't want an update for. I'm like move on. I hate everyone. Just kidding.

[Morgan]

Hey Jaw Takes fam. Thank you so much for your input on my last post. With the exception of a few people, the comments were really affirming and helped me pull my head out of my ass, man up and face the situation more directly. I went ahead and deleted the post just in case as I caught a few people I know in real life peeping it. My fault for putting everyone onto the pod. We waited until he was in a good mood, then my partner and I sat him down and laid out everything on the table. We told him that his reactions to our music made us feel like we were walking on eggshells and being held hostage in our own home. We told him we were starting to become resentful and considering drastic measures if things didn't change. We made it clear that we were happy to help him to an extent, and clarified the extent, but only if he could remain respectful. We clearly set the expectation that in our house, our house, we don't throw things, slam things, yuck anyone's yum, or yell. We made sure to address it delicately but firmly. We asked if he'd felt respected in the house, if there was anything deeper going on mentally. He let us know about some personal things that he was struggling with and we worked together to make a game plan going forward. So to those of you that pointed out it was likely a lot of change at once and there was Probably a deeper mental health issue occurring. Thank you. He recognized and acknowledged that his reactions were inappropriate as well as unwarranted. He apologized for his responses and disrespect, thanked us for being willing to put so much effort into making him understand how his actions were affecting us and how mindful we've been about playing her music. While admitting we've been objectively overly conscious, he agreed that the frequency we were asking for wasn't unreasonable. 45 minutes a week after a rough day over dinner without him, talks in private conversations. Not including him during activities. Not including him. Like watching TikToks on the couch as he walks by. This is fucking crazy.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You should be able to live in your house.

[Lauren]

Do you? Are you kidding?

[Morgan]

No.

[Lauren]

He can. No. There's no. You don't need to make.

[Morgan]

No. He confirmed we weren't listening too loudly, that he wasn't able to hear it in his room or upstairs at all. He should stay there. And that we should be able to sparingly listen to her music in common spaces as we allow him to do that as well. We came to the conclusion together that his frustration has been building since his feed has been full of her stuff recently. With the recent album, that fact is likely due to his interactions with her. Hate videos. Is a discussion for another time.

[Lauren]

Hate videos?

[Morgan]

Who knows? He's probably watching something and then getting even more of her content. We collectively agreed that it's just better for him to keep his mouth shut going forward. Ultimately, there's nothing we could say if we ever tried to make him like her. And on the flip side, there's nothing he can say to make us not like her. We know how he feels. He knows how we feel. And there's no point in beating a dead horse. So basically, he's been overexposing himself. It was good to hear him come to the conclusion this whole situation was 99% his own fault and tell us that we weren't doing anything wrong. We told you that. Honestly, neither of us were expecting the level of accountability he did take. Yeah, all three of us got headphones. We gave him a pair of earbuds about a week ago, and we will continue using them in heavy rotation for longer listening sessions of music the others don't enjoy. This is like way too many compromises for your house. But maybe I'm just an asshole.

[Lauren]

No, I agree. It's your house. It's no.

[Morgan]

Opie goes on to say, I've agreed to teach him budgeting and basic finance management techniques to get him on his feet faster. I'm planning to surprise him with a few vinyls of his own of his favorite artists. Our lease renews in April. Until then, we'll be having bi weekly sit downs to go over concerns, and we'll reevaluate our living situation, at least renewal if he's still here, then if all goes well, sooner, if things don't improve. The mood in our house is great now. I thought there might be some tension after the discussion, but it went over really well.

[Lauren]

Well, as long as you're happy, that's good.

[Morgan]

There you go.

[Lauren]

I don't think you should have to make compromises, though. But if you feel good about it, if you feel happy, then that's what's important.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I mean, I don't think you need to be this big of a person, but if you're comfortable doing that to make peace in your home and like, support your friend, your family, then that's a sacrifice you're willing to make. But I also think he was being extremely unreasonable and disrespectful. And he can go in his room when there's music playing in the living room that he doesn't want to hear. It is your house and you're paying for every single bill. Yeah, I'm like, a little. I'm like, blown away by, like, how much give there was, but good for you. You sound like a great person.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I'm sure. It's probably just like, I mean, if one. It's Op's partner's brother and then on top of it, Op's best friend. So I can see how, like, once you have that conversation and he's being so, like, understanding and now he's being, like, respectful and taking accountability, that then.

[Morgan]

You'Re like, okay, cool.

[Lauren]

That then you kind of want to, like, the love that you have for this person comes out and you're like, I'm willing to make compromises too. Like, I can see how that would happen. Even though it's like her home.

[Morgan]

But.

[Lauren]

But I'm. I'm. It sounds like, good enough happy ending.

[Morgan]

Good enough moving along. We love you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Teach me your patience. Because I. I do not have this level of composure.

[Lauren]

I don't anymore. I used to. I've been like, really? I've been, like, having thin patience lately.

[Morgan]

Super thin.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

How do you expand your patience? Is that, like, how do you get that back?

[Lauren]

I don't know. This is like the first time that I've been this, like, quick to get.

[Morgan]

Well, I don't want to fly off the handle. Are you flying off the handle?

[Lauren]

I don't even want to say that either because, like, I definitely have had, like, times where I get, like, really, really, like, frustrated, but, like, I feel it kind of, like, boils over.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And, like, lately it just feels like. Like I have, like, somebody, like, not let me in when I'm merging, and I'm like, you.

[Morgan]

Little road rage I had. Did I tell you about my road rage the other day? No, I'll tell you about it after.

[Lauren]

But I heard about. I don't flick them off, though.

[Morgan]

Maybe that was on.

[Lauren]

I don't flick them off where they can see it. So I do. I, like, do hold back a little bit because I don't want actual road rage.

[Morgan]

Oh, yeah.

[Lauren]

It's like, more internally, but I do. I flick them off under my car.

[Morgan]

I love my horn. I use my horn.

[Lauren]

No, I just, like, I had one, like, one experience where, like, I don't know, like, somebody did something stupid and, like, and they ended up honking at me. And I was like, you were the one who did the stupid thing. So I honked back.

[Morgan]

I just went through this.

[Lauren]

And then she, like, honked at me again. And then she was, like, honking and, like, flicking me off and, like, just being, like. Like, driving crazy. And in that moment, I was like, oh, my God, it's not worth it to have road rage. Like, it's not worth it to. I can feel it inside and I can scream in my car. But, like, it's not worth it to, like, interact with this person. No.

[Morgan]

People literally get killed over road rage. Like, people are so il.

[Lauren]

People are ill. People are ill.

[Morgan]

This next is definitely ill.

[Lauren]

I'm Ew.

[Morgan]

Okay, that was a little aggressive. I take it back. This episode is brought to you by Ollie. You know what shouldn't be? A hot take wanting great sex and a healthy hoo.

[Lauren]

Ha.

[Morgan]

Ollie gets it from loving libido so you can get yours or period hero for PMS support. Ali puts women's wellness first. Find these supplements and more at any national retailer [e-mail] that's O L L Y dot com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. This episode of two outtakes is brought to you by Wayfair. This is not your first rodeo. After all of the wild and somewhat uncomfortable stories we read on this show, one thing's for sure, life can be unhinged. That's why your home should be your calm, comfy, happy place. And Wayfair totally gets that. My happy place includes a nice sofa, an ottoman to kick my feet up on, and a blankie. You guys know I love a blankie. And I love pieces that look good and are going to last. And that's what I've gotten with Wayfair. A lot of my studio furniture is even from Wayfair. And they delivered it, came in, set it up, it was seamless. And I'm even trusting Wayfair for the lounge furniture for our wedding. So whether it's furniture, storage, solutions, decor, you can get it all in one place at Wayfair. Shop everything [e-mail] with free and easy delivery straight to your door. That's W A Y-F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home okay, next story is brought to you by Ollie Wellness. I hate feeling like an asshole in life. I like when I'm balanced in all aspects, but especially my vagina. It's where Happy Hoo Ha comes in. Ollie's vaginal probiotic that supports vagina health and PH balance. And this next story definitely needs something balanced out. I mean, I just warned you. I'm like, this is not okay. So let's get into this next story. So it's coming from a I t a h 9 days old titled am I the Asshole for Asking My Husband not to sneeze like that? My husband has always been a loud SNEEZER in the 17 years we've been married. Recently he's begun screaming while he sneezes when before he had been making a loud yellow shout. I've brought it up casually that he's really loud when he sneezes and is it really necessary? He says he can't help it. Last night I was in bed with a headache. Right around the start of bedtime, he came in to use our bathroom and did one of his scream sneezes. I said, please don't sneeze like that. I have a bad headache. He didn't know about my headache. He became upset and said it's involuntary and he can't help it. He very sarcastically said, I'm sorry for sneezing. A few minutes later he came to my bedside and asked me to open my hand. He put a folded up square of toilet paper in my hand and said, I'll stop bothering you with my involuntary sneezing if you will stop voluntarily leaving period blood under the toilet seat. So will you go clean that up right now? Or should I do that for you? Whoa. I told him that I thought I had cleaned up after myself earlier. Earlier, I had asked him to bring me a new tub of Clorox wipes when I was on the toilet, and I cleaned up with that. He then said, quote, I'm really offended because I apologized for my sneezing, and you didn't even acknowledge it. He then took his pillows and blankets and slept in the extra bed. This morning, he said he was sorry for getting snippy last night. I haven't known what to say about it all yet. It's all so ridiculous. And I'm wondering if I'm out of line for thinking that screaming while sneezing is not necessary. He didn't used to do this. I'm not saying that he has to stop or control the actual sneezing part.

[Lauren]

You all are insane. Wait, is this a listener?

[Morgan]

No. Okay. No, this is coming from a I. Tah. Likely a random.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I don't know what's going on, but you know what?

[Morgan]

They are out of fucking whack.

[Lauren]

But what's funny is that these are, like, also very, like, innocent problems compared to other stuff that we discuss. Like, you know, it's.

[Morgan]

They're arguing over. You go ahead. You go ahead. I'm pissed.

[Lauren]

You don't think these are innocent compared to some of the other stuff?

[Morgan]

I'm gonna shut my mouth and not interrupt you.

[Lauren]

Morgan, we've had. We've had, like, incest, cheating stories, okay? We have.

[Morgan]

Okay, well, when you compare it to that, that's what I'm comparing it to. Well, you might be right there. No, I, I don't know what it is. I think this is a dude thing with age because my dad has become this person where he is like. And it's like, it's, It, It. You don't need to sneeze like that.

[Lauren]

I, I, I, I understand, but I, I actually would be really upset if my partner tried to police my sneeze.

[Morgan]

Like, how do you sneeze?

[Lauren]

I don't know.

[Morgan]

Do you scream?

[Lauren]

No, but, like, I still think that. I still think I would be very upset if my partner tried to police my sneeze. But at the same time, I don't know if I can judge that much because I will yell at Brian for his burping. Is that. Oh, is that similar?

[Morgan]

That's.

[Lauren]

Yep.

[Morgan]

That's apples to apples.

[Lauren]

So he.

[Morgan]

But different font what he does, though.

[Lauren]

Which grosses me out.

[Morgan]

So, yeah, you're in it.

[Lauren]

I kind of feel bad for saying this, like, on here, but, like, he'll burp, and then he, like, lets his whole, like, body, like, like, growl with it.

[Morgan]

Like, oh, disgusting.

[Lauren]

I'm like, stop doing that. And. And he's like, it's just. Just a burp. But I'm like, no, it's not. You're making yourself, like, act like you're about to throw up. Like, stop. So I'm so. I'm like, I can also rel, too. I just. I feel confused.

[Morgan]

I think there's a little bit of a breakdown in their communication, clearly.

[Lauren]

Oh, I mean, his response was. Was crazy.

[Morgan]

That's what's sending me. Can you imagine you accidentally.

[Lauren]

I'm so pissed.

[Morgan]

Like, I. The other morning, Like, I. My. My cramps were so bad, I couldn't find my heat pad. I was, like, on the brink of, like, I kind of want to go to the hospital. Like, my cramps were that bad. Couldn't find the heat pad. Justin's looking all over the house for 45 minutes. I. I fake cleaned, and I hid it somewhere. Can't find it. The next morning, I get up, and I, like, ruined a pair of underwear while I was sleeping. Ruined them, Ruined them. And I take them off, I rinse them, and then I'm, like, getting into the shower, and before I can get in the shower, I'm, like, dropping globs of blood on the side.

[Lauren]

You know what?

[Morgan]

Periods are really bad.

[Lauren]

I don't like glob talk.

[Morgan]

But, like, I wiped them up. I grabbed, like, our clean bleachy spray, whatever the hell it is, wiped it up. But if Justin then would have came to me and been like, open your hand.

[Lauren]

Oh, yeah.

[Morgan]

I'm thinking it's a cute surprise. I'm thinking he got me a piece of chocolate to make me feel better. I. I don't know. And he goes, here's a piece of paper towel for you to go wipe up your period blood, you nasty woman. Like, I'm just like, that's, like, how it feels. Yeah.

[Lauren]

No, I'd be.

[Morgan]

To me. And so it's like, hey, I have a headache. I just kindly asked you to. To not sneeze like that and scream. Why are you screaming? You didn't always scream. Why are you screaming?

[Lauren]

I think the fact that he didn't always do that, like, do it like.

[Morgan]

That, that would send me. That would send me over the ledge. So I'm like, okay. All you had to do is be like, hey, super sorry, hon. Super sorry. Will you rest up? And if you see a little period blood, around the rim. You ignore it. Just like you do the explosive diarrhea spots. You ignore it.

[Lauren]

I knew that was coming.

[Morgan]

Sometimes you have to ignore it. Yeah, I have the grossest story, but I'm not going to out this older family member, so I'm not going to go there. But it was pretty nasty. And guess what I did. I ignored that bathroom. And guess who cleaned it the next day? Justin. Because he loves me.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

That's love.

[Lauren]

That is love.

[Morgan]

Love is ignoring the nasty parts.

[Lauren]

I'm like, is the older family member me?

[Morgan]

No. Definitely. Did you pee on my floor?

[Lauren]

No. Yeah. No, I like that.

[Morgan]

You.

[Lauren]

I don't know if you're keeping this in here, but me and Morgan were talking about how I now say ruin, and so I thought that was funny how you were like, ruin.

[Morgan]

Ruin. I. I have a guest coming up who's also from the Midwest, and I'm gonna compile a list of words that we say, and I'm going to hand them the list and see how they say that.

[Lauren]

Yes. I love that.

[Morgan]

So if you guys have any words that you want me to make them say, please drop them in the comments. Maybe I'll, like, pin something. I know I said hammock weird the other day. I don't know what got into me. I don't say hammock usually. I don't think. At least I don't know, I did realize I say Toyota wrong.

[Lauren]

Oh, yeah, I saw that comment.

[Morgan]

Can't win them all. Okay, wait.

[Lauren]

I think I say hammock. Yeah, I think I do say hammock.

[Morgan]

Do I say hammock, too?

[Lauren]

I don't know.

[Morgan]

Oh, God. But, hey, I think these people can figure it out. I think they need to communicate. I think there's a way to get back on track, get balanced again, because this just, like, is not gonna work long term. Like, you guys have been together 17 years, and maybe this is one of those things. Because they've been together 17 years, they're like, what do we have to fight about? Oh, I guess sneezing.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Period. But, hey, after 17 years, if your sneeze changes, I want to be a little sussed out, be a little pissed.

[Lauren]

I like how you try to fight me on the fact that this one is, like, one of the worst stories we've come across. And I'm like, do you remember what we've read?

[Morgan]

Not the worst, but, like, it just, like, some of the innocuous ones just have irk you.

[Lauren]

Because it's more like. Yeah, I get that. That's how. That's how I've felt about one of the stories. It's like, it's so random, but, like, I'm like, it did something to me. I don't know why.

[Morgan]

Peaked a corner. Yeah. But hey, just like our relationships, sometimes vaginas can get thrown off balance too. Ollie gets that. Whether it's happy hoo ha. That empowers you to take charge of your vaginal health or period hero for PMS support. I period heroed it up the other day that like those so good for my cramps. Great timing. Great timing to have an Ollie event to go to. It was magical. But you can find Ollie supplements at retailers nationwide [e-mail] code THT30 for 30 off. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Thanks, Ollie, for sponsoring that story. And we're on to the next one. Oh, I didn't even read the comments. Top comment. My husband used to do the same thing and I told him, great. So why isn't it involuntary in public? He's a loud sneezer in public, but no yell. I would have killed him had we gotten to a scream stage. After that, he stopped. Not saying it would work for you and not saying it was an easy conversation either. But it's been a lot of years now.

[Lauren]

I love the way that you're reading her. I, like, feel like I can hear this person actually talking.

[Morgan]

I try. I try. Someone else goes. This has been my experience to the letter. My partner sneezing so loud at home it would hurt my ears. Yet we stayed with his family for a week and he did quiet sneezes to not make noise in their house. I clocked it immediately because he spent years claiming that he cannot sneeze quietly. I pointed out he was doing normal sneezes and he had always denied being able to. He now sneezes normally. I'm still baffled why he was always screaming his sneezes previously.

[Lauren]

You know what it is? Can you do.

[Morgan]

Can you just, like. Can you do a scream sneeze, fake one? I just, like, I need to. Like, I need to hear it.

[Lauren]

So my dad sneezes really loud. So let me try to channel that. I'm nervous.

[Morgan]

Like, I'm locked in. I'm listening. Don't want to be friends anymore.

[Lauren]

That was not it, though, because my dad was way deeper. I was really trying to channel his sneezes. But the thing is, is that, like, if you have kids Around. I will say that me and my brother would laugh so hard when my dad would sneeze.

[Morgan]

That's cute.

[Lauren]

So I think that's also why this doesn't trigger me is because I have a good memory associated with loud sneezing. That's cute.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I do not. I have been woken up so many times by my dad's loud sneezing. If you have a loud sneeze screamer, can you please record them and then tag me in it on Instagram? I would like. I just want to see for research, like, what are you dealing with? But. Okay, we're moving on to this next one. Okay. If you are grossed out by poop, please skip to the next story. Okay, so this one is coming from R. Am I overreacting? It's titled am I Overreacting? She shit with me in the shower. Yes.

[Lauren]

This is bringing back to our first episode, Throwback Baby. This is the one that. The episode that I would talk about. You refer people. Yeah, that I would tell everyone what the podcast is about.

[Morgan]

Hello, longtime lurker, first time poster. Throw away. Because I don't want this affiliated with my mane. I, female, 22, have been dating this girl, female, 21, for about three months and it's been great. The only red flag I've seen before this was that she was a bit messy, leaving things without putting them away, including trash. Anyways, yesterday we went to a karaoke club, got super wasted, and she spilled her drink all over us. No big deal. We went to my apartment after we were in the shower. Nothing sexy or anything. We were too drunk for that. But I remember looking down and there was a streak on the bottom of the shower. And I asked her what it was. I shit. You notice she said, quote, oopsie, I did a poopsie keeper and pushed the ball of shit into the drain with her toe.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

I didn't know what to say. I just kind of stood there. This chick really just pooped. I told myself that she was drunk and we could talk about it tomorrow. Today. Fast forward to this morning. We woke up and I could not get what I saw out of my head. And so I tried to keep it light and laugh about pooping, maybe try to get it into the toilet in the future. And she goes on to explain that she just feels comfortable with me and doesn't want to hide who she is anymore.

[Lauren]

Whoa.

[Morgan]

I asked if she poops in the shower or all the time?

[Lauren]

Yeah. Oh, no.

[Morgan]

She does. Oh. I asked if she could refrain from doing so in My shower. And she agreed. I just feel like I can't move past this and look at her the same and kind of want to break up with her. Am I overreacting?

[Lauren]

I need you to know how much more disturbing this image is for me after yesterday unclogging our bathroom bathtub.

[Morgan]

What was in your bath was not.

[Lauren]

Poop, but, like, but my point is, is that, like, so my hair is long.

[Morgan]

Right.

[Lauren]

And even though I try to, like, I. It gets in my.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Hands. And I'll put it on the side of the shower, and then I clean.

[Morgan]

Up and throw away.

[Lauren]

Wipe it away.

[Morgan]

I clock you.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Put it in the. But still some hair falls into the drain. Right?

[Morgan]

It happens.

[Lauren]

So it started filling up. And so I, like, got a snake and pulled it out. And it was like, an actual snake in there. And, like, my hair was tangled up with just, like, like gunk. Just like, and it was like, like white gunk. And like, I don't, I don't know what all was, but I was, like, pulling and pulling and it was, like, really gross. And I just can't imagine if my partner was pooping in there and I'm using my hands to, like, rope this stuff out with their poop in my. Oh, yeah, no, sorry. That is a safety hazard. We can. Nope, we can't have any of that.

[Morgan]

Did I. Do you remember what happened at the condo when I lived with my dad?

[Lauren]

No.

[Morgan]

Our pipes in the building. The building was old. The pipes got insanely clogged. Apparently the upstairs neighbor was flushing wipes. There were rumors he was also putting diapers down the toilet. Like, it was, it was really bad. So our, our pipes for the whole building, like, clogged. Well, because this guy who came said he found diapers and.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I, like, I have a hard time believing someone would be dumb enough to flush diapers.

[Lauren]

But there's a towel in there.

[Morgan]

If there was someone dumb enough, it would be him.

[Lauren]

Full on Christmas tree.

[Morgan]

And so because everything clogged all of a sudden because it went from the third floor to the second floor to the first floor, out to the sewer.

[Lauren]

Yep.

[Morgan]

So my toilet started overflowing with stuff that wasn't mine. Yeah, the pipes were so backed up, my bathtub started filling with the building's.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

The night before, I was supposed to record, like, my first episode with a big guest. It was horrible. Horrible.

[Lauren]

He had to come over to that.

[Morgan]

They're like, smells good. No, I, I, I paid for an emergency plumber. It was the most insane Thing. They came and, like, jetted the pipes with a huge water jet.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

But, like, you're not. That stuff's not supposed to be in there. No, Like, I wouldn't. I don't blame you. I don't think you're overreacting. I think you. I think you would have to break up. I'm. You can pee in the shower all you want. Yeah, pee away. But when you start pooping in that.

[Lauren]

Shower, that's where I draw the line.

[Morgan]

We're done.

[Lauren]

We gotta have some type of balance here.

[Morgan]

I mean, if you accidentally yourself and you need to rinse off, different story. But if you're doing it continuously. There's toilets, girl. There's toilets for a reason.

[Lauren]

No, I completely agree. The fact that Op's partner said that. It's a constant thing, that would be very, very concerning.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean, she said she just feels comfortable with me and doesn't want to hide who she is anymore. Who she is is in the shower.

[Lauren]

I also just think it's so. It's so weird. Like, I don't care how comfortable I am with anyone. Like, why would you want to expose them to that smell?

[Morgan]

Or what if you had a taco the day before and there was a corn kernel in there?

[Lauren]

That's kind of a moot point. But.

[Morgan]

I just don't know why. Like, I think I had a story with Mikayla this past week too, and there was, like, a poop story because they. I don't know what. Reddit goes through phases and poop is on the Reddit brain right now.

[Lauren]

I remember when people thought you had, like, a fetish.

[Morgan]

I know. I was talking to someone the other day, and they were, like, describing their podcast, and they were like, yeah, I'll be. It's a comedy podcast. We talk about diarrhea a lot. And I go, whoa, whoa. You gotta be careful with that. People will accuse you of having a poop fetish.

[Lauren]

I don't know why. That's, like, probably one of the funniest, like, negative things anyone's ever said about the podcast.

[Morgan]

Crazy, because I really, like, it actually freaks me out. Like, if you knew me like it, I just find it.

[Lauren]

That's why it's so funn.

[Morgan]

That's hilarious.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

But yeah, top comment. You cannot spend your life with somebody that shits on the floor and mashes it down the drain with their foot. I feel like this isn't a thing that even needs to be verbalized.

[Lauren]

But it's how we started the podcast.

[Morgan]

Op Responds. She just said it with such calm. I wanted to be sure.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And now I feel so valid. I'm definitely breaking up with her. Wait, do they live together?

[Lauren]

No.

[Morgan]

Only dating for three months.

[Lauren]

Oh, wow. Only three months. Run.

[Morgan]

Run. Opie has since deleted their account. That's all she wrote.

[Lauren]

She's like, I don't want to be associated with that anymore. Well, that's. That's just, like, nostalgic for me. I know that sounds crazy, but, like, truly, that. I think it was either the first or the second episode that we recorded.

[Morgan]

Was a story where waffle stomping.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Where this. Where this girl, I think, was like, I don't know what to do. I just found out that my boyfriend always poops in the shower, which is why after the gym, he always forces me to shower first. And one day, I finally was like, no, you shower first. Like, why do you. Why do you always do this? And he was like, it's because I don't want you to go into the shower right after I pooped in it. And she was like, what? And I think they had been together for, like, years. Like, they were living together.

[Morgan]

They were living together. Yeah. And that one. So that's one dodged a bullet.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but that's just, like, for so long, when I would tell people, like, they're like, oh, what's the podcast about? I'd be like, well, it's like Reddit stories. They're like, what kind? Like, finance? And I'd be like, no. Like, this girl had a boyfriend who poops in the shower. So she's like, what do I do? And we're like, a breakup.

[Morgan]

It's so vintage. I. I spoke on a panel last year, and it came up on the panel of, like, why do you have video podcasts? And I'm like, well, like, I'll give you guys an example. Does anyone in the room know what waffle stomping is? And, like, you saw, like, a couple people, like, slowly raise their hands.

[Lauren]

They're like, do I want to admit this?

[Morgan]

Literally? And I go, for those of you that don't know, waffle stomping is when you take a shit in the shower and stomp it down with your foot. And the room gasped like, jaws were dropped. And I go, that's why you have video. It was just like this.

[Lauren]

Like, it was so powerful. Exactly.

[Morgan]

It was powerful, but exactly. I think these next couple stories are going to be pretty powerful as well.

[Lauren]

Powerfully ill. Sick. This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. Oh, what fun. Nordstrom has tons of gifts under $100.

[Morgan]

For all your favorite places, people all in one place. Like beauty and grooming sets, Ugg gifts, jewelry and toys.

[Lauren]

Need ideas?

[Morgan]

Check out gifts from Ugg, Skims, Diptyque, Free People, Stanley and more.

[Lauren]

Plus, explore their amazing gift shop in stores and online. Free gift finding help, free shipping and order pickup. Make it all easy, Ordstrom. This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. Oh, what fun. Nordstrom has tons of gifts under $100.

[Morgan]

For all your favorite people, people all in one place. Like beauty and grooming sets, Ugg gifts, jewelry and toys.

[Lauren]

Need ideas?

[Morgan]

Check out gifts from Ugg, Skims, Diptyque, Free People, Stanley and more.

[Lauren]

Plus, explore their amazing gift shop in stores and online. Free gift finding help, free shipping and order pickup. Make it all easy at Nordstrom.

[Morgan]

This next one, which I'm gonna be honest. Okay, you guys, there is gonna be the people are ill theme over on Patreon with Lauren. We just read a story that. It's a Patreon story. Yeah, it just does not fit on this side of things. Yeah, it's a heavy conversation and we just feel that it's better to have in a space where it's a little more communicative and people can really like. We can intimately have a conversation, which is what we do on Patreon with a lot of the stories that we feel are too big or too heavy for the main channel. So that is now going to go over there. It is a story about a mom who's asking, am I the asshole for, like, still visiting my son in prison and so really complex story. And we definitely want moms to chime in and just, like, have a conversation with us, but it's going to be over on Patreon. So instead, our last story before a palate cleanser is gonna be this one. Okay, trigger warning though, you guys. This story does contain talks of a very traumatic birth. So if you cannot handle that today, please go to the palate cleanser. So it is titled, am I the asshole? If I told my husband I wanted a divorce after he made fun of how many pants I tried on. I 30, female, had a baby eight weeks ago via a traumatic birthday, 10 hours of active labor, super high fever, emergency C section, and my son didn't breathe for eight minutes after coming out.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

I told my husband, 37 male, that I had no birth plan and I just wanted us to all get out of the hospital alive and healthy. However, I did have a very specific plan for the first 40 days postpartum that involved eating specific Chinese foods, limiting outings, and not being cold or in the wind. I told him it was very important to me culturally and for my healing. While I was pregnant, which also had its complications, I meal prepped and froze a lot of food that I just asked him to heat up and add vegetables and make rice. And I wrote down recipes for him. He said, I got you, baby. He in fact, did not have me. I spent the first two weeks postpartum sleeping on the couch because I couldn't get in and out of bed after my surgery, doing the whole night shift by myself every night and not eating anything besides the fast food he would bring home or I would end up cooking for us.

[Lauren]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

He told me that staying inside for 40 days was stupid. So by day 10, we were going out. I know that I should have said no, but I was too tired to argue. We had gone to the beach, day 14, and when we got there, there were 35 mile per hour winds. And my husband said, quote, let me just fish for a little and then we can go. But he disappeared down the beach with the car keys for three hours.

[Lauren]

Oh, hell no.

[Morgan]

While the baby and I sat in the wind on day 16, he invited his sister to stay with us for a week. So I had to vacate the couch and climb in and out of our bed, still taking the whole night shift. His sister had a very similar surgery hysterectomy earlier this year and was telling my husband and I about the risk of hernias after surgery like ours. This was after both of them sat on the couch and watched me haul laundry and to and from the garage while they watched tv. Wow. She also demanded that we eat certain foods while she was here that she can't get back home and my husband doordashed whatever she wanted to the house and or drove us all to go get food that she wanted. Meanwhile, I couldn't get him to heat up frozen food for me.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

She also told us about the importance of scar care after the surgery and suggested that I get a C section massage. Any place I found were over $200. And I texted my husband that I felt guilty spending that much money on something so selfish. He changed the subject and didn't address my text at all.

[Lauren]

I hate him so much.

[Morgan]

I felt so incredibly hurt by this. I don't know if it was hormonal or what.

[Lauren]

No, he's a horrible person.

[Morgan]

But him not saying anything to me, feeling guilty for wanting to do something nice for myself made me feel so unloved and insignificant. Especially because after his sister had her surgery, he talked to me about wanting to send her $10,000 of our savings to help her out with medical bills. And he didn't even acknowledge, let alone offer to pay for a $200 massage for me.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

After I was cleared for regular physical activity at six weeks, I asked him if it would be okay if I spent 30 minutes a day in our garage working out. He agreed and said he would watch the baby for me the next day. When I asked him to hold the baby for me while I worked out and he took my son, he put him down into the Baby Bjorn. The baby started crying halfway through and I had to finish my workout while wearing the baby. He told me while I was pregnant that it was a non negotiable for him that he continue going to the gym three times a week and started going back week four from 2pm to 6pm leaving me with the baby and having to figure out dinner two to six.

[Lauren]

Is there a typo in that? Holy. Oh my. What is wrong with this guy?

[Morgan]

The last straw for me was yesterday.

[Lauren]

The last straw for me was right when you started, right when you started talking.

[Morgan]

Morgan.

[Lauren]

I was done.

[Morgan]

I had been with the baby all night and all morning and he wanted to go and get lunch. So I asked him to watch the baby so I could get dressed. And I was taking longer than usual to get ready. He snarkily said to the baby, quote, mom's gotta try on six more pairs of pants before we can leave. And I lost it on him. I screamed, nothing fits me because I just had a fucking baby and I don't get to work out at all. I told him I fucking hate him and that he should go to his parents house or sleep on the couch or whatever. Just leave me alone. He shook his head at me like I was being irrational. And I felt such rage inside of me. How could he not see that I was dying? I spent the night googling divorce lawyers and I feel like I'm overreacting.

[Lauren]

Nope, not at all. Do we have an update? I'm like, let's cut to the chase where you guys do get divorced. Come on, fast forward to the ending. Also, like, try not to say it. Try not to say it, try not to say it. Is he in love with his sister?

[Morgan]

There's definitely some interesting family dynamics. I don't understand this. Like I would, I would help my siblings if they needed it, but I wouldn't help my siblings over caring for Justin.

[Lauren]

That's See, that's why I'm like, it's. It wouldn't be odd to me if that's the person that he is, but the fact that he puts his sister on a pedestal and his wife who carried his baby like gave birth to his baby and he's gonna treat her like crap, like that's. That is so weird to me.

[Morgan]

I'm just disgusted by him. I'm absolutely disgusted by him. And there is an edit. So looking at the actual post on Reddit, the post has been removed by op. They ended up deleting their account. So I don't know if that's because of the comments and what they got and just like didn't want to hear it or reconfirmed what they were feeling. And then just like, I'm good, I'm delete this before it goes crazier. I do have screenshots of an edit, but would you like to get into the top comments and then talk about the edit and then really go off on this person or do you want to go off edit top comments or go off top comments edit?

[Lauren]

I think just start reading wherever you first see a word.

[Morgan]

I see many words.

[Lauren]

Just pick one and go. You're stressing me out.

[Morgan]

I'm really indecisive lately. I have decision paralysis. It is bad. So the top comment because I do think this came before the edit, not the asshole. My ex once went hiking with a friend and left me alone with a four month old while I had a pretty serious case of the flu. That was only the beginning. Notice I said ex. These guys just don't get it, don't want to get it and should never marry in the first place. You are not overreacting. You aren't dragging it out for 20 years like I did. That's the type of wisdom I did not have. Next comment. My now ex wanted to go on a father's Day hike 10 days after our baby was born. Vaginal not C section. A hard rated hike, 5 to 8 mile loop around a waterfall. You start at the top so the second half is back up. We got into a massive fight because he would not slow the fuck down while I was carrying our baby upward hike of slippery rocks and waterfalls. He put on the baby carrier and just sped off without me.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

He still does not think he was wrong. Our kid is a teenager. Some dudes just don't get it.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

At least both of those have my now ex and someone does quote them and goes at least some kind of happy ending. So one of the other Top Comments is a hyperlink and it says he gets it, he just doesn't care. And when you click the link, it goes to another post. It's from the 2x chromosome subreddit titled he knows he doesn't Care. My husband says he doesn't see the mess he leaves on the floor. I always end up having to pick it up. My fiance keeps grabbing my boobs randomly even though I asked him to stop. My boyfriend yells at me and slams doors whenever we argue. He understands. He knows he doesn't care. He can hear you. He has a job. He attended school. When he gets pulled over by a cop, he gets his license out. He can read, he can follow directions, listen, understand consequences and act to avoid them. He simply does not care about you. Yeah, he is quite comfortable with you being unhappy, uncomfortable, burnt out, traumatized. As long as it means he gets what he wants and can keep the status quo. There isn't a special way to rephrase your feelings that will get through to him finally, or special tactic you can use to get him to respect you. I honestly feel most women just don't understand how much disdain some men have for us. On average, as painful as it is, we absolutely must come to terms with the fact that most yes, I said most Men do not see or respect women as real people just like them, equal in value and humanity to themselves and their male buddies. Most meaning it's statistically more likely the guy you're dating views you as a continuum from benevolent sexism to mild dehumanization to callous indifference to veiled contempt to outright hatred. Saying, I care about you, I love you. I'm trying. I'm sorry does not mean those things are true. Actions make those words true. A man who cares, loves, tries, and is sorry doesn't make you rack your brain trying to find novel ways to communicate to him. Yeah, he knows. He simply doesn't care.

[Lauren]

Yep. Wow, that's such a powerful comment. Woo. And yeah, just wow. It really is. Like, I was talking to my friend about this who had gotten out of a relationship and she was saying how she saw herself so mean to her partner towards the end in a way that she's never seen herself. And I was like, well, he did a lot of crazy, awful things to you. He betrayed you a ton and you continued to forgive him and you kept trying to teach him how to love you correctly. And the thing that's so difficult is that like, as humans, it's like when we first start dating people, we're not showing them all Our bad right away. Right? So we get attached to each other early on and then when the bad starts coming out, we're already attached to each other. So it can be really hard for us to like, pull away. And so when these other sides come out, you, instead of just being like, I gotta leave, we, we think we gotta teach them how to love me correctly. And sometimes, sometimes that can work. But most of the time it's this never ending game of making yourself crazy, of just like trying to figure out what way you can communicate with them. Is it softly? Is it in the morning? Is it aggressively? Is it nicely? What's, what is it gonna be that they'll finally start like getting it and respecting me and like, like showing me with actions? And the answer is it won't. You'll just end up being the worst version of yourself and screaming towards the end of the relationship until you finally are done.

[Morgan]

But sorry, no, I think that was really good. I'm just, I'm sitting here like, I'm soaking it all in and I'm like, I'm just, I'm thinking because yeah, I think like, if there's small issues early on, yeah, you can fix a lot of those. You can learn how to communicate, you can learn what each other needs from the relationship. But if you get down the road to a point, especially once a baby's involved and they're still not getting it, you are expressing your feelings and they're still not hearing you, or they just don't care, don't care, then I do think it's a disconnect. Because love, like, love is work. And like, yeah, you can choose to like, put effort in and like work on your relationship each and every day. I know there's a lot of relationship experts out there that like, love isn't easy, but for me, love has not been this hard. Like, love has been very. Like, honestly, it has been kind of easy. Like, have we had difficult moments early on? Yeah, we're blending two families. We're learning out how to navigate the holidays. We're learning this and that about each other.

[Lauren]

But like, which should happen, by the way.

[Morgan]

That should happen. That's growing. If you're not growing in a relationship, like, that's not realistic either. Like, or you're just gonna pretend if.

[Lauren]

You'Re not gonna have any fight. Like there's, there's somebody is like keeping to themselves. Like it's two humans very complex.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Joining life to fight, like Justin has always said, because I got nervous about like some big fights early on. And he was like, no, like, fighting's not bad. Like, you do need fights to grow. Like, they can be constructive and help. But, like, again, like, you shouldn't feel like a broken record. You shouldn't feel like you're sacrificing your needs being met and you just feeling terrible because your partner really doesn't care about you.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Even after a baby. Even after you sacrifice. So let's get really into this. So what Op was talking about at the beginning of this whole post was called sitting the month. So this is a Chinese tradition. After childbirth, it's usually about 30 days. It can be longer, and it's a confinement period. There's a beautiful Chinese way to say it. I don't even want to butcher it. Zhao U Z. I'm not sure. But it's essentially sitting the month. It emphasizes rest and recovery for the mother. The mom is, like, supposed to have so much help. The mom actually gets, like, massages every day to, like, compress the womb. And it's just this beautiful thing. They eat certain foods, they get pampered. You're not supposed to go outside. You're supposed to sit in your pajamas. You're supposed to be Zen. This is like what I expect.

[Lauren]

Like, absolutely.

[Morgan]

This is what I want.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

This is what I need. I think every woman needs this. Yeah. Deserves this.

[Lauren]

Shouldn't settle for less.

[Morgan]

The fact that he dragged her to the beach how many days after a traumatic birth? And C section.

[Lauren]

No, it's so bad. I was honestly thinking that.

[Morgan]

14 fucking days.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And I was thinking two weeks. I was thinking that it was. He was gonna spin it as like, this is for. So that you can get sunlight. It'll be healing.

[Morgan]

35 mile per hour wind with a newborn baby.

[Lauren]

3 hours. Disappeared with car keys in the pocket. Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

I'm hitchhiking home. I'm leaving. This fucking woman went through hell. Three hours. Three. Do you understand how long it is to sit at a beach for three hours?

[Lauren]

It's a Harry Potter movie.

[Morgan]

In a healthy world with out a newborn. I don't even like being at the beach that long.

[Lauren]

Okay, well, that's where we differ. But I do. I do feel your anger.

[Morgan]

Newborn didn't breathe for eight minutes after being born.

[Lauren]

No. It's insanity.

[Morgan]

C section cut open. Sleeping on the couch. Sleeping on the couch and doing all the night feedings without any help. This motherfucker's laying in bed getting eight peaceful hours.

[Lauren]

Unreal.

[Morgan]

I like if you break apart every single piece of the story. Working out, working out. From 2pm to 6pm Unreal. Four hours. And she can't even get 30 minutes without the baby crying halfway through. And then she's got to wear the baby in a fucking baby carrier. A little Baby Bjorn, because he can't be bothered.

[Lauren]

You know, like, situations like this make me sad that she can't just, like, disappear with the baby legally. Like, the fact that you have to still, like, interact with this piece of poo sucks.

[Morgan]

This is the poo that should get pushed down the drain with the toe. Toe the fuck out of this log.

[Lauren]

Get it quick. How do you like that? Ugh.

[Morgan]

Okay, I'm clearly very unhappy with this one. This man is ill. This man. Oh, this man.

[Lauren]

What does he deserve to date Pooh Girl?

[Morgan]

He deserves to.

[Lauren]

Pooh Girl doesn't deserve that either.

[Morgan]

No, no, no, no. God, Pooh Girl's gross. But not this bad. He deserves to be put in a big bathtub with a thousand leeches.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's dark.

[Lauren]

That's not that dark.

[Morgan]

Thank you.

[Lauren]

Could have been way darker. If Michaela was here, she would have came up with something really dark.

[Morgan]

Michaela would have killed him in detail. So we have an edit. Edit for clarification. That's what it says. We talked about every incident and he genuinely feels bad about how he behaved and has been spending more time with the baby with every talk. I fully know that I'm a doormat and have been working on it with my therapist, and it was really hard for me to even express my postpartum needs with him. He does financially support us and has spent a ton of money on baby gear and gadgets that helped make nights and feeding easier for me. Bottle washer, nicer pump bottles, et cetera. Easier for you?

[Lauren]

Yeah, There it is.

[Morgan]

Why is he not fucking helping? He's a dad. Yeah, he's a dad.

[Lauren]

That's made it easy.

[Morgan]

Takes two.

[Lauren]

That's made it easier for all of us is what it should be. Because he should be doing. He should be doing that.

[Morgan]

So he wants to support the family financially, but not emotional. Physically. He want. He wants to have a puppy. He wants the cute little puppy baby, like, God. And since the beach day, he's greatly decreased our outings with the baby. He has also been holding the baby at night for a couple of hours from 9pm to whenever he goes to.

[Lauren]

Bed, so I don't forgive him.

[Morgan]

He's also been on paternity leave this whole time.

[Lauren]

Wow. Just throw your computer into the wall. Burn the Christmas trees down. Sorry. Guys, light this place on fire.

[Morgan]

I read that, right. I read.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

He's also been on paternity leave this whole time, So he's not working.

[Lauren]

Justin, come here.

[Morgan]

And he's getting to sleep, and he's not feeding the baby. He can't. He can't even hold the baby for 30 minutes while you work out. Meanwhile, he's on paternity leave and gets four hours to work out. Oh, well, he's decreased the outings. You and your fucking baby shouldn't be going anywhere. You're supposed to be sitting the month. Sit the month. He can't even heat up a microwavable meal that she already meal prepped and froze. Someone give this man a vasectomy so he can't do this again or to anyone else.

[Lauren]

I like the fire in you. Yes.

[Morgan]

I'm gonna fucking get myself canceled with. I want to. That's so bad. That's so bad. Can you help?

[Lauren]

I just. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost you. Like you're in a different. You've. You've gone somewhere. I don't.

[Morgan]

I'm in the inside.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Inside out movie.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I'm the little red man.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God. The red man. She's a. Actually, I think anger. I think little red guy. The little. Okay.

[Morgan]

That's who I am.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I am him. He is me.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Anger. She's not done.

[Lauren]

Oh.

[Morgan]

After the whole. He's been on paternity leave this whole time. Also, I don't have any family I can stay with right now, and my friends have all recently moved out of state.

[Lauren]

Mm. That's so tough. Isolation.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[Lauren]

What?

[Morgan]

There's another update. That was the edit. We have an actual update. I don't know if mentally I can handle it. Update. We talked this morning, and he said that I'm punishing him for things that happened months ago and that it's unfair that I won't forgive him or see his support in other ways. He said that I'm the problem and that I always need someone to be angry with. I brought up his sister, and he dismissed it as me needing to compare my life with other people. I told him I feel like I ask for so little and that he's not listening to me. And he said I just fixate on everything he doesn't do. Yeah, because he doesn't do shit.

[Lauren]

So classic.

[Morgan]

I just feel so unseen. He said he would love to give me time to go do things I want to do. Quote. Except you don't have any hobbies. He said, if I gave you two hours right now, what would you go do? And I said, I have to clean the bathroom and do laundry. He said I'm allowed to treat him like shit when I'm hungry and sleepy. And he always forgives me. I do get very standoffish and short when I am both hungry and sleepy. But I can't forgive him for something he did so long ago. Speaking a little in riddles towards the end here, what did he do so long ago? Did he cheat? Is he at the gym four hours every day? Or is he with a girlfriend?

[Lauren]

I feel like she's trying to say so long ago as in the two. Because he started off saying that like, she can't let it go from how he acted right after the birth. I don't know.

[Morgan]

Little bit of a riddle here at the end. But, I mean, the comments just go crazy. Like, it's again and again just, like. Just please be done. Like, please be done like this.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You're already a single mom. Like, oh, he says, if I gave you two hours, what would you do? And it's like, I'd clean the bathrooms.

[Lauren]

Like, so messed up that he said that too.

[Morgan]

Like, you don't have any hobbies, so you don't deserve time.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Literally, it's, like, none of your business. I'll sit in a corner and stare at a wall rather than be next to you for two hours, you asshole.

[Morgan]

I would take a nap. And that is perfectly acceptable.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Considering I'm doing everything else. Maybe I would have some hobbies if you weren't such an incompetent piece of shit. Yeah, maybe then I'd have some hobbies.

[Lauren]

I love that.

[Morgan]

Maybe I would have the peace of mind being able to leave our child with you knowing that you weren't gonna pop it in a Baby Bjorn and then not be able to handle them when they're crying.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Can't even work out for 30 minutes because he's so incompetent.

[Lauren]

I wish you could say this to him. How can we somehow get this message delivered to his face?

[Morgan]

I don't know. And I don't think we're gonna get any updates past this. I mean, OP deleted their whole account. Like, I just hope that, like, if anyone out there hears this, like, this isn't okay. Someone can provide for you financially, but they should still be expected to be a parent, 100%. Like, you both committed to having children. Like, you both signed up for that. Yeah.

[Lauren]

I actually just saw someone post recently about when you are talking about kids with somebody that you're dating to really dive in and ask all of these detailed questions, like, how do we divide up responsibilities? Like, what do you think for, like, punishment if, like, a child's doing something that's not appropriate? Like, like, actually asking all these questions beforehand will give you so many answers.

[Morgan]

It's so important.

[Lauren]

And I just think I've never even considered that. Like, I, like, when I was dating, didn't even consider really, like, asking people if they wanted kids. Like, unless they said, I don't want kids. Then I just was like, oh. I just assumed, like, I don't. I don't know.

[Morgan]

I didn't.

[Lauren]

I just didn't really ask those type of questions. And I just think it's, like, such a good idea to do so because, I mean, obviously op, like, you, you know, you got your baby, like, out of this marriage, and so that's wonderful. But, like, this guy is probably not your guy long term. And the fact that he only temporarily started acting better and then went right back to being like, you don't notice any of my good things. You're just calling out my bad things. Like, that's our votes.

[Morgan]

He's deflecting and.

[Lauren]

Yep.

[Morgan]

Putting it back on you.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

I also am getting now, like, kind of hearing more too. Like, I'm getting some financial abuse. Like, you should have been able to just go and buy that 200 massage.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You just had a baby. It's like, the least that you deserve. So, like, you shouldn't have to ask to go spend 200 on yourself after having a baby.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

For both of you. So I'm getting a lot of red flags. So if this is ringing any alarm bells for you guys, like, please know you deserve butter. This is not. Not it. I don't think I've been this distraught from a story in quite some time.

[Lauren]

No, I, like, literally, like I said, I lost you for a minute. I don't know if you even knew I was here, to be honest.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[Lauren]

Justin's, like, sitting over there. Like, I don't know what he's doing.

[Morgan]

I didn't read this fully.

[Lauren]

Video game or something.

[Morgan]

I didn't read it fully. Like, again, like, I'll read some of the titles and then get to a certain point, and I'm like, yeah, it's good enough. Okay. This is really. This is juicy. I didn't re. I sure didn't read the update. Like, what the. Yeah, Justin. I know Justin popped in for this, like, last little bit.

[Lauren]

He's like not reacting at all to anything.

[Morgan]

And like his. He doesn't. Do you want. Come in?

[Lauren]

Come here.

[Morgan]

Come.

[Lauren]

It's not too late.

[Morgan]

Come here. Come give your celeb take. Please be the male voice of reason.

[Lauren]

I was just making jokes. I don't want Morgan to punch you. Oh, yeah, I'm definitely not coming over.

[Morgan]

Did you hear.

[Lauren]

Did you hear me say that?

[Morgan]

He's so happy playing his.

[Lauren]

I said, justin, come here. We need a face to punch. No one's going to punch you.

[Morgan]

It's just a joke, okay? He's going to come in for a celebrity take. I'm going to move and then we will have the palate cleanser.

[Lauren]

I've never been this like razzled before. Razzle dazzled. I mean, am I the palate cleanser?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Is that why I'm here?

[Morgan]

I don't know why I'm here because.

[Lauren]

The people like seeing you. You're a friendly face. Oh, I'm here.

[Morgan]

Hi.

[Lauren]

But like, I don't know why I'm. They. They're gonna have to go a whole week, maybe even two weeks without seeing you. But now they get to see you because you jumped in. You know, I had part in the trees. So yeah, I'm like scared. I have like stage fright.

[Morgan]

I have anxiety right now. Feel unprepared.

[Lauren]

Morgan's face is behind the camera is great too. This is going off the rails, guys. It's great.

[Morgan]

A g episode. We've been off the rails too.

[Lauren]

Hot rails.

[Morgan]

I offered.

[Lauren]

I offered prior to the story to sit right there with a mic in my hand and no one seemed excited about that, so I didn't know that.

[Morgan]

Feels like I'm being like, I think thrown in at the end. Like.

[Lauren]

Here you go. You said it too quietly. We didn't hear you.

[Morgan]

No, it was.

[Lauren]

It was heard and acknowledged. Do you have any Christmas turning red yet? Any Christmas plans? Seeing family, friends?

[Morgan]

This is going downhill quick. Okay, any thoughts?

[Lauren]

I don't know the story. Okay. Okay. Adios.

[Morgan]

Hi, it's Eva Longoria and let's be real. After 40, we should ask for more from our skincare. I swear by Revitalift triple power moisturizer by l' Oreal Paris. With vitamin C pro, retinol and hyaluronic acid. It reduces my wrinkles, firms and brightens.

[Lauren]

And it's not a procedure.

[Morgan]

It's just a hard working moisturizer.

[Lauren]

Revitalift triple power moisturizer by l' Oreal Paris. Grab it today in fragrance, free or with SPF 30 available at your local Walmart.

[Morgan]

But here, here but. Okay, here we go. Hear, hear. Four score. 20 years ago. Here we go with the palette cleanser, my friends. Cuz we are certainly not going to end on that note. So this is titled My Dentist Asked Me out. Not sure what to do. It's not in my spreadsheets. It sounds familiar but it's not there. So here we go. I went to a grocery store over the weekend and saw my dentist, which was a little weird, but she recognized me and came up and said hi. We had a little chat and it was nice because human contact is so non existent nowadays. Then she said she had to go and asked for my number. I figured she needed it for dentistry reasons if I'm being honest. But I probably should have figured out it wasn't for that. Anyways, after I got home, she started texting me with casual stuff. Eventually we talked about how I'd never read Harry Potter or seen the movies and she said, did you pick this.

[Lauren]

One for me specifically?

[Morgan]

Yeah, a lot of them. I picked just for you today. And she said, quote, we could grab some food and I'll watch them with you, followed by if you want. About five minutes later. I haven't responded and it's been 30 minutes. If she wasn't my dentist, it would be an absolute yes. She's hot and she's fun to talk to. I know. We share a couple of hobbies too, which is always nice. On the other hand, I'm 90% sure they aren't supposed to ask their patients out. I always thought she was being a little flirty sometimes, but like I said, I don't think they're supposed to do that. So I never took it as flirting. So I guess what I'm asking here is what the hell do I do? I don't want to cause problems with her career, but I also would really like to date her a lot.

[Lauren]

Find a new dentist, idiot.

[Morgan]

Boy brain versus girl brain. Come on, love of your life.

[Lauren]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

Over finding a new dentist?

[Lauren]

Over a once a year that you probably go in every other year, let's be honest.

[Morgan]

I'm sorry, what?

[Lauren]

I'm talking to the guy.

[Morgan]

How often do you go to the dentist?

[Lauren]

I don't know, like twice a year.

[Morgan]

Okay, yeah, you're good. I'm like, lauren, you're supposed to be going every six months, girl.

[Lauren]

I know. I actually should be going every quarter because I have gum issues.

[Morgan]

Honestly, I don't have dental insurance and going every six months is cheaper than spreading it out longer because then you get a cavity. And cavities cost way more to fix.

[Lauren]

Mm. Makes sense.

[Morgan]

If anyone needs a good dentist around the LA area, Dr. Bradley Matthew.

[Lauren]

Hmm.

[Morgan]

Don't. Don't overbook him, because I still need to go there. I know.

[Lauren]

I was gonna say that's risky.

[Morgan]

He's just such a good dentist. Like, such a good dentist. He's incredible. I, like, went somewhere here when I first, like, needed a dentist out here. Cause mine in Minnesota retired. This dentist told me I needed, like, four crowns. I had seven cavities. I went to him, and he's like, you're fine. You need one crown. That's it. I'm like, con artist savior. Like, he's so good. So I get in that breath. I'm like, okay, I get finding a good dentist and not wanting to lose them, but.

[Lauren]

But Harry Potter and love of life and hot and similar hobbies. It's a no brainer.

[Morgan]

It's a no brainer. So top comment. It's easy to find another dentist, but it's hard to find a good wife.

[Lauren]

Mm.

[Morgan]

Also, it's noteworthy to mention how up close she has been with him. She already has an intimate relationship with his mouth and still had the balls to ask him out at the supermarket. Bravo, madame.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Someone goes, you fucking go out with her and eventually become her trophy husband. What the fuck is wrong with you? Say yes, someone does decide to quote the ethics code from The American Dental Association. 2G. Personal relationships with patients. Dentists should avoid interpersonal relationships that could impair their professional judgment or risk the possibility of exploiting the confidence placed in them by a patient. She could lose her license for becoming sexually involved with an active patient.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I know. They just. They need to not be.

[Morgan]

I mean, as long as she's not a bad dentist, it's not like just because she's sleeping with him. I feel like that would incentivize her more to do good dentistry work. Just not.

[Lauren]

It doesn't work that way.

[Morgan]

Okay. No, I'm just kidding. I know that, but okay, we do get an update. You knew it was coming, right?

[Lauren]

You said palate cleanser, so. Yes. I was like, there better be an update.

[Morgan]

All right. Geez. I'll say yes.

[Lauren]

Sorry. That's really nice. I'm really, really happy for them. Sorry.

[Morgan]

That was a really great episode, guys.

[Lauren]

No, that's. That's cute. Okay, what else happened?

[Morgan]

Is that it? No. Okay. Edit number two. Oh, my God. Haven't raccooned in a while.

[Lauren]

No, it's actually making it look like you have like a glitter. It's pretty beautiful. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Edit 2 We're going to watch Harry Potter on Friday. Just need to decide what kind of food to order. Thank you for pushing me to say yes. I honestly probably would have turned her down. Aw. Three days later I know it's a different account. Got an auto mod message telling me I had to make a throwaway account, so here I am.

[Lauren]

I don't understand the rules.

[Morgan]

Ugh, it's annoying. Anyways, the update that two whole people asked for me and you checking in? Yes, we got together, had some food and watched Harry Potter. That's about it to be honest. In all seriousness, we hit it off pretty quickly. I kind of feel like we were already friends Anyways, we usually talk a lot during appointments while she's getting all of her tools ready and such, so I know a little about her already, but not being in that setting made it easier to talk to her for sure. Yeah. Also confessed to a bunch of stuff. Found out she's had a crush on me since my first appointment two years ago and she was trying to figure out how to ask me out for a while. Also got to hear how she would purposefully try to get a light schedule when I was coming in so she could go slower and we'd have more time to talk, which I think is the cutest thing I've ever heard. Oh, a girl actually wanted to spend more time with me on purpose. Another thing, I thought there were three Harry Potter movies, not hundreds, but we got through two of them and have another date set up for tomorrow, so I'm not complaining. Also, I had to take all of the tests, so in case you're interested, Ravenclaw and I have a wood mouse Patronus. She seemed happy with that. Don't know why, but she's in Ravenclaw 2 so I'm sure that has something to do with it. And lastly, the entire reason I made my last post, I talked to her about it and I do need to find a new dentist, which kind of sucks, but it's understandable and worth it. Not like I'll be missing her or anything because I can just talk to her whenever. Now, unfortunately, until all the dentist swapping is dealt with, we are just friends. But we both made it clear that we want to be something more spicy than that when we can. This might be too much information for some of you, but if I didn't include it, someone would ask. So no, we didn't have sex and no puns about oral were made we were making out, and she stopped it. She felt uncomfortable doing anything with someone that was still a patient. So we just cuddled and watched the movies instead. And I drove her home afterwards. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Lauren]

Oh, I'm, like, giddy.

[Morgan]

It was probably the best first date I've ever had.

[Lauren]

Aw. I love being on this journey with you. So cute. That's awesome. I'm just like, this is so funny. So anyone who follows me on Instagram probably knows that I'm watching Harry Potter for the first time through. I just finished last night, and, like, I'm floored.

[Morgan]

I.

[Lauren]

You've seen it all, right. Yeah. Yeah. I had no idea. Like, when I was little, I watched the first three movies when they came out in theaters.

[Morgan]

And you thought that's all there was?

[Lauren]

Well, I just didn't, Like, I didn't piece them together. I kind of thought that it was like, these kids that would do these little side quests and then solve it, and then, you know, it was like, the Boxcar kids. I don't know what that is, but sure. But no, it just like. Well, I didn't mean it like that. I just.

[Morgan]

It's a book he used to read them in, like, elementary school.

[Lauren]

Well, that's what I thought Harry Potter was, apparently. But I just, like. I couldn't believe one. How sad it was in the other movies. I never expected that. I didn't think anyone would die. I thought they were, like, kids movies. And I also just didn't know it would all tie together, like, the way that it. Everything all of a sudden started making complete sense, and I just thought it was so magical, and I love fantasy, and I love magic type stuff, so I just thought it was so fun, and I can't believe it's been so long, and I just think it's really cool that I got to experience that. And I. I don't know what to do now. That's, like, what I had been looking forward to is, like, watching more, and now I just feel kind of like, what now?

[Morgan]

Have you seen. It's a show called the Discovery of Witches. No, I think you start there.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

The White Queen. I love, love the White Queen. Oh, maybe you start there. Okay. Start there. Okay. The White Queen. That's all I got. People are ill. I'm ill after that. My brain. I feel like I have brain rot. I'm like, what. What did I just put us through?

[Lauren]

I actually feel less ill.

[Morgan]

Okay, y', all, Lauren wants this. Spoiler alert. If you haven't Seen Harry Potter yet. Goodbye. This is where we end for you. Yes. Love you. Thank you for being here.

[Lauren]

Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Morgan]

That was a great palate cleanser. I will say. The other day when you posted a picture of Dobby the elf.

[Lauren]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

I was like, damn, she's gonna be wrecked. I was wrecked.

[Lauren]

I was so pissed. I can't even.

[Morgan]

Oh, he's a free elf. And then, bam. Done.

[Lauren]

Unbelievable. Honestly.

[Morgan]

Sorry. Spoiler.

[Lauren]

If you haven't seen Harry Potter, say, you should probably add a spoiler before that.

[Morgan]

You've had plenty of chances to see Harry Potter at this point. No.

[Lauren]

If somebody like I. No one ever spoiled Harry Potter for.

[Morgan]

Which I don't know how. I don't know how you got to experience that and Game of Thrones in modern day without any spoilers.

[Lauren]

I don't know.

[Morgan]

Make that make sense.

[Lauren]

I don't know. And you know what's so crazy is like, I. I truly did not know what happened to the point that I. I started thinking Harry Potter was going to die.

[Morgan]

Oh, yeah.

[Lauren]

I was like, yeah.

[Morgan]

Especially when he's going to die. Yeah.

[Lauren]

Like he's. I don't. I also. I feel like I need to, like, give a spoiler again. Like, can you put a spoiler like, right before this? Insert spoiler, please.

[Morgan]

Yeah, okay. We'll put a spoiler in for you.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Lauren]

Amazing. Thank you.

[Morgan]

Okay. It's all we got, Friends. Lauren will be on a Patreon episode this month. Michaela's episode just dropped. We've got one coming with Justin. All about wedding drama and holy smokes. Since we did the wedding episode until now, the most insane wedding stories have actually dropped that. I'm like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I wanna do three more wedding episodes because people are losing their minds, but we can't. Well, we could, but I won't. I won't do that to you. So there will be a good one over on Patreon. But thank you for being here. Another episode, another week, another year. I mean, we're coming up to Spotify's wrapped and I'm like, I'm just feeling so blessed, so grateful. I just appreciate all of you. I appreciate all of my amazing guest co hosts. It's just been a wild, wild, wild year and I'm just beyond thankful. So thank you. If you noticed this episode, we have holiday trees on set getting very festive. These trees are going to be looking for a new home very soon. So if you live in the LA area and you need a Christmas tree, this season, please comment on the Instagram or YouTube. I'm trying to make sure people can get some trees. So cute. Let me know.

[Lauren]

How are you gonna arrange that?

[Morgan]

They're gonna send me a message, and then I'm gonna send it to them in an Uber. Seems easy enough.

[Lauren]

Love that.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Yeah. There you go. A little something special, maybe, if. You know, if I have time. Maybe I'll drive it over to you if you're close.

[Lauren]

But how'd you come up with this idea?

[Morgan]

Just on the top of the brain. I like that. Yeah, it's cute. I know. These trees, let me tell you. Me and Justin were fluffing them last night. My hands are raw. Raw, Lauren. Raw. It's like the tinsel. I don't know. It's a thing. Yeah. But thank you, guys. Love you. And until next time.

[Lauren]

Until next time. Bye. Bye.

[Morgan]

As a Raider scavenging a derelict world, you settle into an underground settlement. But now you must return to the surface. We'll fall. Arc machines roam if you're brave enough, who knows what you might find. Arc Raiders, a multiplayer extraction adventure video game. Buy now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series.

[Lauren]

X and S and PC rated T for teenager.