258: No Joking Matters Ft. James "Murr" Murray

Summary

TWO HOT TAKES: “NO JOKING MATTERS” FT. JAMES "MURR" MURRAY (EPISODE 258, MARCH 4, 2026)

Main Theme/Overview

Host Morgan Absher celebrates her birthday episode with a special guest: James “Murr” Murray of Impractical Jokers fame. Together, they and the Two Hot Takes team react to wild stories from Reddit and listener write-ins, giving their hot takes on dating, relationships, and life drama. The episode is a rollicking, honest, and hilarious exchange—peppered with Murr’s signature self-deprecating humor, relationship insights, and memorable stories from his own career.

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GUEST INTRO & JOKERS STORIES

Murr joins the pod

• Murr’s wife Melissa is a big podcast fan and made Morgan candles [01:27].
• Morgan reminisces about bonding over Impractical Jokers with her husband—"it was always our hotel show" [02:04].
• Murr shares that the show is wildly popular in hotels, prisons (“our ratings are huge in prisons; we are the number one show in prisons across America” [02:34]), and hospitals.
• Hilarious anecdotes about receiving prison letters, TSA interactions post-challenge (including showing an ID photo with no eyebrows and getting TSA agents to burst out laughing—"I look like Lex Luthor's penis" [04:22]), and the physical toll of Jokers punishments.

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STORY 1: THE TATTOO MISTAKE—“TIFU BY GETTING A TATTOO OF MY MOM IN A BIKINI”

Segment Start: [07:26]

Summary: A Redditor gets a tattoo to honor his late father—replicating Dad’s pinup lady tattoo, only to learn it’s actually based on an old photo of his mother.

Key Discussion Points:

• Murr: “Dare I say, hot? I’m sorry, it sounds a little hot. I don’t think you fucked up. I think this is a hot story. It’s kind of cool, man. It’s awesome. No, you did not fuck up. It’s hysterical, bro.” [10:21]
• Morgan & Murr agree: the tattoo’s meaning goes beyond the new, awkward info. It’s really about honoring the father and childhood memories.
• Murr shares his own tattoo stories, including a ferret skydiving on his thigh (“There’s two scenarios: the therapist recognizes me, laughs out loud at the tattoo, or doesn’t know me and laughs anyway.” [11:14]) and a finger tattoo with his wife that, when joined, forms a penis (a secret from his mom until now).
• Morgan asks, “Would getting recognized while getting a massage be your nightmare?” [12:29]
• Strip club and public recognition stories ensue (“We all took pictures afterward at the strip club. That was cool.” [13:56])
• Takeaway: Keep the tattoo, focus on what it symbolized before—a tribute to Dad’s love and family bond.
• Notable Quote: Morgan: “If anyone asks, just say it’s a recreation of a tattoo your late dad had and it’s in his honor. Don’t let this new info ruin its memory for you.” [14:37]

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STORY 2: “MY FIANCÉ’S FISH HOBBY IS DESTROYING MY LIFE”

Segment Start: [15:03]

Summary: A woman’s fiancé turns a minor fish tank hobby into a 12-aquarium, salary-devouring obsession, wrecking their home space, finances, and ability to travel.

Key Discussion Points:

• Murr is dumbfounded: “This is not real. This can’t be. Half his salary? $30,000 a year on fucking fish.” [18:18]
• Morgan shares her food poisoning trauma at Benihana; Murr tells a story of being food-poisoned by a revengeful chef after a complaint [20:21].
• Hilarious hypotheticals: “Would you shit the red carpet in front of Tom Cruise for $10 million?” [21:29]
• Murr describes the sacrifice couples make: “Marriage is switching from thinking ‘I’ to ‘we’. He’s not doing that—he’s not thinking as an engaged man, financially or emotionally.” [25:32]
• On resisting change: Murr on his wife Melissa’s fish tank prank and lack of fish empathy: “Fish don’t know who you are. They’re not affectionate. After 20 seconds, they’ve already forgotten your face!” [27:41]
• Brainstormed compromise: “Why don’t you lure him into vacations again by taking him to famous aquariums around the world?” [29:54] — Jedi mind trick territory.
• Notable Quote: Murr: “For me, fuck the fish. I mean, seriously.” [26:54]
• Segment concludes with comic predictions about the couple’s fate after six years (“I assume they’re both dead—asteroid attack, who knows?” [31:01])

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STORY 3: “CALLING OUT THE BOOK-SHAMING HUSBAND”

Segment Start: [34:48]

Summary: A woman in a friend group stands up to “Jake,” who constantly mocks his wife Emily’s spicy romance book habit, calling her out for humiliating his own partner publicly.

Key Discussion Points:

• Murr’s analysis: The husband is deeply insecure. “She’s done nothing wrong...read anything that gives you pleasure! Why is he so dismissive? It’s insecurity. But why? Is it about intimacy? Is he worried he can’t compete?” [39:05]
• On public confrontation: Should the friend have said something? Murr relates with his own story about gently but firmly nudging a friend to break up with an unsupportive partner. [40:42]
• Morgan: “I feel like Jake probably needs a bit of that public humiliation. He’s the one starting it...he’s publicly humiliating her.” [43:07]
• Suggestions: Instead of shaming her, get involved! “Ask her what she read today, bring it into your real life—act it out together, have fun with it.” [44:03]
• Both Morgan and Murr think the friend did the right thing. Jake is at risk of losing his wife over his lack of respect.
• Notable Quote: “Should the friend have said something in public? She’s not sorry, so f— it.” [43:04]

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STORY 4: “MY BOYFRIEND SAYS MY COOKING PROVES I’M NOT A GOLD DIGGER”

Segment Start: [46:00]

Summary: A woman finds her new(ish) lawyer boyfriend’s behaviors increasingly controlling and wild—power calling, love bombing, jealous over celebrities, setting strict communication rules, and seeing her “cooking” as proof she’s not a gold digger.

Key Discussion Points:

• Murr: “This couple either needs to break up yesterday or get married today. They’re both nuts, man. They’re nuts.” [49:11]
• Murr is mostly jokingly harsh on both, but zeroes in on the red flags: the boyfriend’s jealousy, control, and emotional manipulation.
• Morgan underscores the dangers of early love bombing and rapid relationship shifts: “The mask slipped very quickly.” [53:53]
• Top Reddit comment: “Four months is about how long it takes for the mask to slip...it only gets worse from here.” [54:09]
• Updates: Writer broke up with him, confirming manipulative and self-centered behavior. Murr and Morgan agree: “Thank God she dodged the bullet.” [88:00]
• Notable Quote: “He will never forget the accusation. And likewise, if she doesn’t bring it up, she’ll never forget. God, it’s a fucked up situation.” (On trust post-confrontation) [84:36]

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STORY 5: “HE LEFT ME AT A CABIN IN THE WOODS”

Segment Start: [61:00]

Summary: A woman’s husband takes her car from a friends’ cabin getaway, disappears all day, and only then texts her that he “decided not to come back”. He left her stranded, didn’t arrange a ride, and lied about it.

Key Discussion Points:

• Both hosts immediately suspect cheating: “Dump him, girl. That guy is a piece of shit. B is cheating on you, okay? Guaranteed.” [63:52]
• Further, even if not cheating, Morgan notes the total lack of respect and mortifying public impact.
• “Nobody in their right mind leaves like this. If my wife went storming off, there’s no world in which I’m not following immediately.” [64:17]
• Morgan: “He took her car too! Doubly embarrassing.” [67:19]
• Both urge breakup—consensus among both hosts and commenters.

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STORY 6: “I DISCOVERED HE HIRED AN ESCORT WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL”

Segment Start: [74:42]

Summary: A woman’s friend Greg reveals her husband hired an escort while she was hospitalized. Her investigation confirms a cash withdrawal, her husband lies about it, and when confronted with receipts, he unapologetically admits to the betrayal.

Key Discussion Points:

• Dissection of Greg’s motives: Is he being a good friend, or is there another motive? But once it’s revealed Greg and wife were friends before, Murr retracts doubts: “Forget everything I said about Greg. Greg’s awesome.” [85:44]
• The real target is the husband: “He cheated, then lied, then didn’t even care. Once that trust is broken, there’s no answer.” [88:00]
• Advice: She must clear the air—either confront and end, or forever be haunted.
• The update: She confronts husband, he admits the escort and claims “it wasn’t cheating, it was a service.” She immediately plans divorce, thanks Greg (“I got Greg 12 months of T-Bone”). [88:43]
• Notable Quote: Murr: “We should change the name of the podcast to Dump Him Girl. That’s like 90% of it, man.” [89:01]

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PODCAST BANTR (NOTABLE MOMENTS & QUOTES)

• On Impractical Jokers popularity: “If you are in a hotel, in prison, or a hospital, you’re watching Impractical Jokers. And that’s a fact.” —Murr [02:23]
• On tattoos: “Only for my wife would I get a dick joke on my finger. But I lied to my mom. To the day she died, she’d go ‘what is that, James?’ and I’d say ‘half a heart’... It wasn’t. It was a dick joke.” —Murr [12:07]
• On Benihana revenge: “He must have put way too much oil. Or he gave me old fricking fish, man. I shit my pants on Highland Boulevard in Staten Island.” — Murr [20:31]
• On marriage: “Marriage is switching from thinking ‘I’ to ‘we’. It’s the hardest thing, and a constant daily struggle.” —Murr [25:32]
• On acting out romance books: “Act it out. Literally! You’d be crying, laughing, and probably have great sex as a result.” —Murr [44:03]
• On relationship control: “The only answer is to buy a good smutporn book and enjoy it on a beach or buy a fish tank.” —Murr [84:47]
• On Greg’s meat subscription: “My life fell apart, so as a result, to thank my friend, I got him meats.” —Murr [88:53]

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BONUS STORIES [Patreon Sampler, ~[90:56]]

STORY 1: Toxic Stepmom Gets Her Due

• OP relishes watching her lifelong cruel stepmom’s life unravel. Both hosts agree: no sympathy for adults who treat children that way.
• Lauren (co-host): “Someone that treats a child this way has always been deeply unhappy and it’s now just coming to the surface.”

STORY 2: “I’m Going to Have to Break My Husband’s Mistress’s Heart”

• OP discovers her husband is cheating—but can’t hate the mistress, who was lied to and is a genuinely good person. Morgan: “I’m like, are you in love with her?” Both marvel at the OP’s poise; discuss the ethics of informing the mistress after 8 months of monitoring texts.

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EPISODE CLOSE / PLUGS

Notable Endings:

• Murr plugs his upcoming horror movie Don’t Move (starring T-Pain, Rob Riggle, Q, Lindsay Fonseca, out this fall) and new thriller novel You’d Better Watch Out [90:05].
• “We should start a GoFundMe for Greg’s meat. That sounds weird.” —Murr [89:44]
• Morgan’s birthday wrap-up and preview of Patreon content.

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TIMESTAMPS FOR MAIN SEGMENTS

• 00:00 – Host intro, birthday notes, podcast milestone
• 01:07 – Murr joins, Impractical Jokers stories
• 07:26 – Tattoo story: “Today I F’d Up By Getting a Tattoo of My Mom in a Bikini”
• 15:03 – Fish tank obsession story
• 34:48 – Romance novel shaming husband in group
• 46:00 – Controlling lawyer boyfriend claims cooking means not a gold digger
• 61:00 – Husband leaves wife stranded at cabin with friends
• 74:42 – Husband hires escort while wife’s in hospital (+ update)
• 90:56 – Patreon bonus stories: Stepmother’s downfall; “loving” the mistress

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FINAL TAKEAWAYS

Episode Vibe: Unfiltered, hilarious, heartfelt, and occasionally savage, with deep dives into relationship red flags, partner respect, communication, and personal boundaries. Murr’s blend of stand-up storytelling and honest advice meshes perfectly with Morgan and the team’s signature Reddit sleuthing and empathy-with-an-edge. The recurring theme? Stand up for yourself, don’t settle for less, and sometimes… just dump him, girl!

Transcript

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Universal Pictures. Okay. Book to movie lovers. You're gonna wanna hear this. Reminders of him is the new film adaption of Colleen Hoover's highest rated novel. A story about second chances, love and forgiveness that moved millions. Starring Micah Monroe, Tyrique Withers, Rudy Ponkow, Lauren Graham, Bradley Whitford, and country music star Lainey Wilson making her on screen debut. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll watch hope slowly find its way back. Reminders of him rated PG 13. Only in theaters March 13th. Hi, friends. It's my birthday today, so I'm dropping this a little early and including a little extra something at the end because otherwise it would have been a short episode and I can't do that to you on my birthday. I just want to say thank you guys for being here. Two Hot Takes celebrated its five year birthday in February. We didn't really talk about it even. And I'm just so excited to be on this next trip around the sun with all of you. So thank you for being here and enjoy the episode.

[James Murray Murr]

Okay. I know.

[Morgan]

Then they just leave me alone in

[James Murray Murr]

here and it's like, it's like now it's super cozy.

[Morgan]

They just leave me alone in here.

[James Murray Murr]

That's it.

[Morgan]

That's it. Like, have fun. How are you?

[James Murray Murr]

I'm good, Morgan. How are you?

[Morgan]

I'm good. I'm so excited to have you.

[James Murray Murr]

Thank you for having me. This is wild. My wife and I are huge fans of the show.

[Morgan]

I'm huge fan. And now your wife, she made me candles.

[James Murray Murr]

She did.

[Morgan]

I'm just blown away by that. Your wife, Melissa, she's so sweet. Welcome back to another episode of two Hot Takes. You guys, I'm your host, Morgan, and I know you've already recognized him. You're screaming at home. Wherever you're watching, we've got James Murray Murr today.

[James Murray Murr]

Hello, everybody.

[Morgan]

I have been watching your show at least for seven years.

[James Murray Murr]

I thought you were going to say something else for at least like seven, eight weeks. Other.

[Morgan]

No, seven years. I actually think impractical jokers is like the only reason I started dating my husband.

[James Murray Murr]

What?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Hold on. Do tell.

[Morgan]

It was like our hotel show. It was like anytime we'd be traveling, you can just bet you're going to find impractical jokers or like carbonaro effect, which. That show messes me up. But it was always jokers and like, we just bonded over it and like, just. It was always our show.

[James Murray Murr]

Well, you know, we have three main demos of the TV show. Chances are if you are in a hotel, in prison or a hospital, you're watching impractical jokes. And that's a fact.

[Morgan]

Prison.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. Our ratings are huge in prisons. We are the number one show in prisons across America.

[Morgan]

Do you have any prison pen pals?

[James Murray Murr]

Not me, but Q. I don't know why? It's always Q has like dozens of pen pals from prison that are full blown in love with him. Like, write him letters.

[Morgan]

Oh, the women's prison.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like. Well, it doesn't have to be the women's prison, you know, it's prison. Anything goes. Yeah, they play our show all the time, I guess to keep the prisoners laughing or in a good mood.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

You know, you're not going to shoot someone if you're watching us, you know, put a clothespin on somebody in a supermarket.

[Morgan]

Those are my favorite.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I feel like you get the worst punishments, though. I will tell you right now, of course.

[James Murray Murr]

No shit. Yeah.

[Morgan]

You actually get tortured.

[James Murray Murr]

No kidding. I mean, you know, I had to show my ID to get in this building.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

And my ID for. Oh, my God, for one more month. Still has no eyebrows.

[Morgan]

What? Dude, it's real.

[James Murray Murr]

It's crazy. This might.

[Morgan]

It's. So do you get questioned a lot?

[James Murray Murr]

No, I saw 10 times.

[Morgan]

I feel like people might know.

[James Murray Murr]

So, you know, I'm on tour like every week, Right. And so I fly every week. Last week, last Thursday, I'm flying to Tacoma. Our four shows last weekend in Tacoma. And it's like my flight's 6am so I'm at the airport at 4:45am TSA guy has his head down at the desk and I slide my license across the desk and I swear to God, he looks at it, he goes, what the fuck? And then he looks up at me and bursts out laughing because I look like a. See something, say something.

[Morgan]

Yeah, you know what? Isn't there, like an alien character that they're just like. If you were blue, like, it'd be just. Yeah, it's a lot.

[James Murray Murr]

I look like Q.

[Morgan]

Joke. One more month.

[James Murray Murr]

Q's joke is that I look like Lex Luthor's penis.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. Which I see. I mean, I'll see. You know what I'm saying? I see the resemblance.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. I still can't believe you have that.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, One more month. I can get a new one in March. March 28th.

[Morgan]

Just not counting down the days or anything.

[James Murray Murr]

It's been ten, nine and a half years.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. I couldn't get over the Fact that you got pierced.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, my ninnies got pierced. My belly button. They wanted to pierce the little mer. And I said no. And then. Yeah, I got pierced multiple times.

[Morgan]

I've heard people that have penis piercings, like, it can get stuck on what? Like the cervix during sex.

[James Murray Murr]

I don't. Where's the cervix? I thought the cervix is on a woman.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Does a man have a cervix?

[Morgan]

No, but, like, when you're. When people are having sex, it will get stuck in there.

[James Murray Murr]

You understand what just happened? You said it can get stuck on the cervix. And I was like, wait, men don't have.

[Morgan]

I really appreciate anatomy knowledge.

[James Murray Murr]

I don't know. I don't know. I legit. I thought I was like, where's my cervix? Oh, God. It gets stuck on the female cervix.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

That wouldn't be fun.

[Morgan]

You have to go in to the hospital together. Like. Yeah. There was a Grey's Anatomy episode, I think, on it.

[James Murray Murr]

How do they transport you on a La Z boy?

[Morgan]

What do you ride on on a gurney?

[James Murray Murr]

You have to ride on top of each other still.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Together. Together.

[James Murray Murr]

Is. Is it romantic? At some point you gotta laugh.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Afterwards, like, oh, my God, babe. Like, a lot of people bond over, you know, like you bonded with your husband over in Practical Jokers.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

I mean, talk about a bonding experience.

[Morgan]

It was like, we both cried when you skydove. Skydived. Sky doved.

[James Murray Murr]

Sky doved.

[Morgan]

Sky dove.

[James Murray Murr]

Sky doved.

[Morgan]

Yeah, something. I was like, this is, like, this is not funny. Like, we were crying. We were actually crying for you.

[James Murray Murr]

Well, I was crying for myself.

[Morgan]

I felt your trauma through the screen.

[James Murray Murr]

Thank you.

[Morgan]

You're just. You're so good. So I'm so excited to have you today and give you some of these stories. I. I think your responses are gonna be really entertaining for me.

[James Murray Murr]

I'm really excited for this. Like, this is wild to me.

[Morgan]

Why?

[James Murray Murr]

Because I just. Because I feel like I'm gonna have fun opinions on stuff and I can't wait to hear what stories, what effed up situations humans have found themselves in.

[Morgan]

There's quite a few.

[James Murray Murr]

No, there's a lot of us.

[Morgan]

Something's in retrograde again because people are losing it.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Me included. But okay, let's dive in.

[James Murray Murr]

Okay. Oh, my gosh. Here we go. Here we go.

[Morgan]

This episode is presented by Duluth Trading Company. Number one in garden Dig into spring gardening wearing Duluth Trading's five star gardenware. They're dirt and debris deflecting Moisture wicking and have 50 plus sun protection for those long days in the rays. Their heirloom garden overalls are made from stretchy, durable ripstop nylon and loaded with 12 pockets plus knee pad pockets for extra comfort. Short overalls, overall dress, overshirt and pants are all new to the collection too. So. So Whether you have one garden bed or 100 acres, there's gardenware for every green thumb. [e-mail] and in store today. Thanks Duluth Trading Company. My hometown brand, guys. Okay, we're gonna ease you into it a little bit. Okay, this one is coming from Today I Fucked up. Okay, titled Today I Fucked up by getting a tattoo of my mom in a bikini. My dad passed away a few months ago. I was really close to him and I miss him a lot. My dad had quite a few tattoos, but one of them I remember dearly. It was this pinup style tattoo of a lady in a Hawaiian skirt and coconut bra on his calf. I always liked that tattoo, even though it was pretty badly done. Most of the color vanished over the years, and I remember our dad letting us color in the tattoo with markers when he wanted to take a nap and keep us busy. My mom always disapproved and I never understood why until now.

[James Murray Murr]

Uh oh, here's the twist.

[Morgan]

One day about two weeks after he passed, I was walking around the city and came by a tattoo shop. One thing led to another and I walked out of that shop with the same tattoo my dad had, the lady with the coconut bra. The artist did a great job at recreating that tattoo, and I was very happy until I got home and I wanted to show my mom. My aunt was there, my dad's sister, and she started laughing like crazy.

[James Murray Murr]

No, here. Here it comes.

[Morgan]

My mom looked quite shocked. Not the reaction I was expecting at all. I didn't understand what's happening until my aunt told me, quote, well, now you've got your mom on you forever in a skimpy outfit. Great choice. Well, long story short, my dad got this tattoo about a year after they started dating. She wore this outfit to a party, took a photo, and he got it tattooed a few weeks later. Great. Fucking great. I was a bit confused because my mom has always had blonde hair. The tattoo lady's got black hair, but apparently she had a short phase of dyeing her hair black for a few

[James Murray Murr]

months, as one does.

[Morgan]

My mom has always hated that tattoo. They almost broke up because of it. Back then. She made him swear that he's Never gonna tell anyone the story behind the tattoo. Hence why I didn't know anything about it and I never asked. I thought this was just a random tattoo he got on one of his many vacations. Well, now I have a tattoo of my mom in a coconut bra. Great.

[James Murray Murr]

Dare I say hot? I'm sorry, it sounds a little hot. I don't think you fucked up. I think this is a hot story.

[Morgan]

Hot.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. It's kind of cool, man. It's awesome. No, you did not fuck up. It's hysterical, bro. It's hysterical.

[Morgan]

It's just, like, one of those happy accidents because it's, like. To you. Okay, like, now, you know, it's your mom, but it has so much more meaning behind it that it's really more about your dad and, like, those memories and kind of like honoring him.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, I think it's. His father would love it. Right? So just say it's in honor of your dad. It is what he would have loved. He would have burst out laughing if he. Especially because he didn't know it was the mother, you know, it's absolutely hysterical. But do not look back. But it does make me, like, I. I have a couple of tattoos. Do you have any tattoos?

[Morgan]

No tattoos, but, yeah. You have a ferret.

[James Murray Murr]

I have a ferret. Skydiving on my milky white thigh, which is whenever I, like, get a massage, like we're on vacation, I get a massage. There's two scenarios. Either the therapist recognizes me and laughs out loud when they get to the tattoo, or they don't recognize me and they still laugh out loud when they get the tattoo. It's a ferret. Skydiving on my. My tattoo.

[Morgan]

No. We'll insert a picture for everyone, like, right here. You'll see it.

[James Murray Murr]

And then I have a tattoo on my finger, which I lied to my mother about until the day she's just a baby. It looks like maybe it's half a heart. The number three in a mirror, or what have you.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

It's not.

[Morgan]

Is it Wu Tang?

[James Murray Murr]

It's not Wu Tang either. When you put my wife and I's index fingers together, it's a dick. These are the nuggets. And she's got the.

[Morgan]

Stop.

[James Murray Murr]

The shaftleberry.

[Morgan]

That's how you know it's love.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. Only for my wife would I get a dick joke on my finger. But I lied to my mom. To the day she talks, she goes, what is that, James? She doesn't call me more. She calls me James. She goes, what is that? And I would say, oh, mom, it's half a heart. Melissa has the other half because I love her. It wasn't. It was a dick joke.

[Morgan]

Your mom?

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, it was a dj. I got a DJ on my finger.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. I think getting recognized during a massage is, like, the last place I would ever want someone to recognize me. Like, I genuinely. I, I. It really freaks me out, getting recognized. I don't know why. I'm just like, hi. I'm just like, could you imagine I

[James Murray Murr]

have a worse scenario. Could you imagine there's a scenario in which, you know, you're out get drunk and some. Somehow you get coerced to go to a swingers club and you're a public figure and you get recognized? That would be worse.

[Morgan]

So that's actually one of. No, it was a swingers club. It was a strip club in Austin, Texas.

[James Murray Murr]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And it was the first time my husband had gone to a strip club. We were there with, like, this celebrity, and so it was just this insane experience. Like, we were just like, mega vip, the whole thing. So it was just insane. Like, he's getting high fives from him. Like, this is your first time? Yeah, like, it was insane. So we go to, like, the main stage, and we sit around, and all of a sudden, the dancer, like, is backing it up, and, like. Like, it's so. Like, it's so. It blows me away. It's like such a performance. It's such a talent to have and be able to move like that.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And all of a sudden, she looks over her shoulder, and she's like, justin. And, like, recognizes my husband next to me. And then she looks over and she

[James Murray Murr]

goes, morgan, no way.

[Morgan]

And then recognizes one of my other co hosts, Alejandra. And she was a big fan of the show. And then we, like, took pictures together after at the strip club. I'm like, this is incredible. Like, that. That was cool.

[James Murray Murr]

Same thing. I mean, for us, very similar. It's not so much the strip clubs, but prisons, hospitals, or. I'm telling you, I walk into a prison, forget it. I am taking photos.

[Morgan]

Oh, you're so funny. So this one's a happy one for you.

[James Murray Murr]

This is a happy one, man. It's hysterical. Just go with the tattoo. Your mom's not gonna be upset with it. It's an honor. Go forth. You show that tattoo at every barbecue you go to, man. You flesh it.

[Morgan]

Top comment on it. I'd say keep it. It's a reminder of your dad first and foremost. If anything, it showed his love for your mom. Yeah, you could Think of it as a symbol of your parents love. If you wish. No one has to know it's your mom. If anyone asks, just say that it's a recreation of a tattoo your late dad had and it's in his honor. You loved it before enough to put it on your body permanently. Don't let this new info ruin its memory for you.

[James Murray Murr]

There you go.

[Morgan]

Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from Relationship Advice. It is titled, My 32 Female Fiance's 33 Male Hobby is Driving me Crazy. Oh, hi everyone. I'm in a committed relationship with my fiance for more than seven years.

[James Murray Murr]

I would hope so.

[Morgan]

And we are living together. He is an animal lover. He had cats, birds, dogs, hedgehogs, cats, even a ferret. For a short period of time, since we moved in together, we agreed to have only one pet, a cat. Everything was going smoothly until one day he wanted an aquarium. I said fine, because you know, it's just some fish swimming in an enclosed space and they look nice. So I didn't hesitate. I said yes. Just in one year, number of aquariums in the house rose to six. No, now there are 12 aquariums. We have 10 gallons to 300 gallons. What?

[James Murray Murr]

He's just torturing the cat man.

[Morgan]

I couldn't stop him. He is always finding new things to try. And his passion never faded away. There is no free space in our house anymore. Wherever I look, I see aquariums, filters, lamps and other aquarium related stuff. Sure, our house is not even that big. The other problem is money. We both work and have decent jobs. But taking care of 12 aquariums is quite expensive. More than half of his salary just goes to aquarium expenses.

[James Murray Murr]

This is not real. This can't be. Half his salary. Half.

[Morgan]

He always buys the most expensive equipment, most expensive fish food, most expensive supplements.

[James Murray Murr]

He's getting truffles. He's giving filet mignon with truffle butter for the fish.

[Morgan]

He even buys the most expensive fish. Like recently, he bought a single fish for $500. What? He is financially hurting himself. And the other thing is, we stopped traveling. We used to travel all over the world.

[James Murray Murr]

Can't leave the fish.

[Morgan]

But since he can't leave his swimming babies alone for long, we can't leave the house for more than a night.

[James Murray Murr]

That's a double entendre. The swimming babies. Got it. Okay.

[Morgan]

There is no way he would let someone, even a professional, take care of his aquariums for a week. What should I do? I don't want to break his heart. But I can't continue to Live with this amount of fish in my life. I don't want to leave him. I just want him to compromise and agree to have one aquarium. I know he is going to react in a bad way. How should I handle this?

[James Murray Murr]

This is batshit crazy.

[Morgan]

This is a lot of fish.

[James Murray Murr]

I have a couple questions. Does it say geotag where this person lives?

[Morgan]

No mention.

[James Murray Murr]

No mention anywhere in the country. Okay.

[Morgan]

No.

[James Murray Murr]

And she's 32, he's 33. So when you're 33 years old, you start to make money. Not a ton, not like when you hit 40, but you're starting, you have a decent job. You're not making $20,000 a year, like in your 20s or whatever. Now you're. Let's assume approximate that he's got a job. He's making 60 on average.

[Morgan]

65.

[James Murray Murr]

60.

[Morgan]

Right.

[James Murray Murr]

The two of them together are probably hopefully hitting 100 a year with their two salaries combined. So you mean to tell me, let's say he's making 60, he's spending. And that's before tax. Okay? He's spending $30,000 a year on fucking fish.

[Morgan]

Fish.

[James Murray Murr]

FNF.

[Morgan]

Some people really love fish though. Like they look at fish.

[James Murray Murr]

Come on. 12 fish tanks.

[Morgan]

I mean, that's insane.

[James Murray Murr]

He's like running a Red Lobster in his house.

[Morgan]

Are there fish tanks at Benihana? What's that, like, restaurant that has like all the crazy fish? Not Rainforest Cafe, is it? Rainforest Cafe.

[James Murray Murr]

So some Benihana do have that thing, the giant display. Yeah, I'm a sucker for good Benihana. But there's also.

[Morgan]

Me and Benihana were not friends.

[James Murray Murr]

Really?

[Morgan]

Worst food poisoning.

[James Murray Murr]

What did Benny do to you?

[Morgan]

Worst food poisoning in my life. No, can't go back.

[James Murray Murr]

Can I confess something? Me too.

[Morgan]

You too?

[James Murray Murr]

Yes. But it was my own fault. I insulted the chef. I insulted the chef. No backup. The chef insulted me. And this is before I was married to my beautiful wife, Melissa. I was on a date. I'm going back 13 years ago, okay? I was dating someone, we went to a Benihana and the chef made an off color comment about the girl.

[Morgan]

What the fuck?

[James Murray Murr]

He went off script. And I complained to the management, as you should, and comped our entire meal. He was off script anyways. Cause I ain't standing for that.

[Morgan]

So we tampered with your food.

[James Murray Murr]

Several months later, I went back, different group of people went back.

[Morgan]

But he recognized you.

[James Murray Murr]

Same goddamn chef. And he did something and I'm driving. This is so embarrassing to say. I'm driving back, I'm driving Back home. Right. I was living in Brooklyn at the time. I was. I'm driving back home, and I did not make it. I shit my pants in a. In a 1990 Mercury Cougar car and shit my pants on Highland Boulevard in Staten Island. And thank you, Benny, and to all the Hondas out there. Yeah. He must have put. Purposely. He definitely recognized me, right? Because I complained, and he must have

[Morgan]

put too much oil.

[James Murray Murr]

You know how they spray that oil? And that oil he put on the cooking in the hibachi grill. He must have put way too much.

[Morgan]

Or he found the oldest fish in the cooler.

[James Murray Murr]

Or he gave me old fricking fish, man. I don't know. But, yeah, I shit my pants while driving on Highland Boulevard in Staten Island.

[Morgan]

Ah. That's like.

[James Murray Murr]

Same thing with you. Food sickness.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Like, didn't poop my pants. That is a big fear of mine. But, yeah, just. I'm a puker and just puking is just. Ugh. Just no. So I haven't been back to Benihana.

[James Murray Murr]

Can I pose a hypothetical question for you?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

And then we'll get back to this.

[Morgan]

The fish. I know. I'm like, how did I get here?

[James Murray Murr]

The hypothetical is this. And this. I just. So last year, on occasion, we get invited to movie premieres, right? And so we'll do the red carpet thing. And when you're not in a movie, which I'm sure you know, when you're not, the cast of a movie, you have to report to the red carpet at a very specific time. Right. If you're not on camera and then the cast comes and they have the, like, last half hour of the red carpet with press. Anyways, last year, my wife and I get invited to the Mission Impossible movie.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Cool.

[James Murray Murr]

I was like, heck, yeah.

[Morgan]

Let's go. Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

We're traveling from Jersey. Takes us two hours, two and a half hours to get in. The traffic was crazy. So we get to the red carpet at the wrong time slot, but they still let us walk.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. So it just so happened that we were in front of Tom Cruise on the red carpet.

[Morgan]

That's crazy.

[James Murray Murr]

This close. He's next to me. He doesn't recognize me. He does not watch any improper jokers. Right. He's right next to us. So we're in the red carpet taking photos, whatever, and I lean into my wife and I whisper in here. I was like, I get a bet for you for $10 million. Would you, like, shit the red carpet right now for $10 million in front of Tom Cruise? At his own movie. For 10 million, like, you would be known forever.

[Morgan]

Yeah, 10.

[James Murray Murr]

10.

[Morgan]

You destroy the ones you're 10. It's Mission Impossible. I feel like, okay, like, five. Yeah. I honestly would probably do it for, like, you understand 100k the consequences.

[James Murray Murr]

You'll be known for the rest of your life.

[Morgan]

It would maybe help grow my podcast.

[James Murray Murr]

The. The podcaster who. Esther Pee. As in a red carpet in front of Tom Cruise. He.

[Morgan]

He.

[James Murray Murr]

It would be explosive.

[Morgan]

I feel like the. It would ruin the premiere. Maybe like the Church of Scientology wouldn't want that though, on their, like, their stars, like, premiere. So, you know, I feel like. I feel like it'd be taken care of very discreetly, you know.

[James Murray Murr]

God, are they going to sweep it under the red carpet?

[Morgan]

Literally? Yeah, okay. Got it. I get like 100k. I feel like there's people listening. They're like, I would do it for 5.5k.

[James Murray Murr]

5k.

[Morgan]

I bet you you're not thinking through

[James Murray Murr]

the consequences of it.

[Morgan]

Literally.

[James Murray Murr]

It becomes the most viral video on earth ever.

[Morgan]

I need to know what you guys would do this for. Like, everyone in the comments put what it would take for you to shit on the carpet. Like, how much?

[James Murray Murr]

But you understand, like, you will be banned forever from any industry event. You'll be known forever. Every wedding you go to, you go to your nephew's bris. You're known as the girl who shit the red carpet. You go to a quinceanera and suddenly you're, oh, my God, this Aunt Morgan. Did you see her? She ruined Tom Cruise's red garment.

[Morgan]

I bridesmaid style it, though. I just, you know, a little dress over it and not move. Can't move. I gotta wait till we're. Till it's done, guys. Okay, I'll be here after you take down. Yeah, okay.

[James Murray Murr]

I have a price too. My price would probably. Yeah. I mean, low millions. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, for like one.

[James Murray Murr]

Maybe for one. Tax free.

[Morgan]

Tax free cash. Sure.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

One.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. Yeah. And only things I feel like you've

[Morgan]

done worse on the show.

[James Murray Murr]

Well, there was an episode of Jokers where we put Sal in an escape room for an hour. They lock the doors. Yeah, he's in a room 6 or 7. Other. No, different one. He's in a room with like six or seven other strangers trying to solve an escape room. And the first five minutes of an hour long escape room with the door locked. He had to wet his pants and he's wearing khakis. He stood up on a pool table to check for a clue and legit wet his pants on camera. That was real and 100% real. And he. It was chaos in that room because they had 55 more minutes and the room was full of another human's urine. It was. They. So there you go, man. That's it.

[Morgan]

And so that was. Yeah, he did that kind of for free. Oh, my God.

[James Murray Murr]

It was crazy embarrassing.

[Morgan]

He had a very full bladder. Cause that's a lot of people.

[James Murray Murr]

We had to do it twice. We did it once, and he got in the room with one group and could not physically pee. And after like a half hour, he's like, I can't do it. And we ended the group an hour later. Then we took him, no joke, across the street, there was a bar, and we had him drink, like eight shots of whiskey in a row and down, like, two full beer cans. And then went back in, brought a second group in, and he was able to finally do it. So check it out.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I wouldn't need to be. I would need to be drunk to do that too.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. I couldn't do it.

[Morgan]

No. Oh, my gosh.

[James Murray Murr]

Well, anyways, we were.

[Morgan]

Okay, Fish. Yeah. Back to the fish. How does she handle it? Do you just sit down and, like, have a honest conversation?

[James Murray Murr]

So the real issue for me is that he's. Here's the thing. When you get married, the hardest switch of marriage is thinking. Changing your train of thought to thinking from I to we. Right? It's the hardest thing, and it's a constant daily struggle. I think you get better at it for sure, but you're so trained in your life to think of I, I, I. And then when you get married, you have to be thinking for two, not just one, and what your partner would want. And it's a very hard skill to master. So what he's done, the biggest thing for me is that if he's truly spending, like, half his salary, unless it's an exaggeration, he's not thinking as a we. He's not thinking as a engaged man. That's building a future with his soon to be wife financially. He's not thinking of her wellbeing in terms of travel. Travel is, I think, is my favorite part of being married, is like, my wife and I try to travel. Like, you get one shot at life, right?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Hopefully it's 80 years. Do everything. Explore everywhere in the world. And if that's what you love as a couple and she loves to travel and you're prohibiting you as a couple from doing that thing that your fiance. Wife loves so very much and improves your Life and makes you a more well rounded, better human.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Gosh, you're hurting your fiance directly.

[Morgan]

I know.

[James Murray Murr]

So for me, fuck the fish. I mean, seriously.

[Morgan]

I know. There's a comment from OP here, though, that says, like, for him, every aquarium and fish have a sentimental meaning. Me saying, get rid of that one is like saying, honey, we have too much children. Let's give a couple of them to other people. He takes good care of them, never asks for my help. I can't find that courage in myself.

[James Murray Murr]

I disagree. Here's why fish don't give a shit, okay? A fish they do not know who. I have this debate with my wife all the time because she's obsessed with getting a fish tank in the house.

[Morgan]

And I've always said, no, Melissa's over here off camera. And what?

[James Murray Murr]

And she.

[Morgan]

You're stopping her dream.

[James Murray Murr]

I told her, I said. I said I love.

[Morgan]

Why would you do that to her?

[James Murray Murr]

Here's why. It's not her dream. She's doing it as a joke because she's to fuck with me, right? Which is part of our marriage and I love that. Right? But she said, I'm telling you, not only will you not know there's a fish tank in her house, I'm gonna buy one and populate it with fish and you won't even notice it. I was like, I will notice this fish tank because fish don't know who you are. They're not affectionate. They have no long term memory. After 20 seconds, they've already forgotten your face, okay? You are nothing to them emotionally, like a dog or a cat or what have you, right? So she did it. She fricking snuck a fish tank into her house. And it took me months to find it. And when I did, where was it? It was in her office. And she hid it and had fish in it. And then, go figure, the fucking fish died after like two weeks, so.

[Morgan]

Well, she's getting a new fish.

[James Murray Murr]

There's no way you're getting a new fish. My wife is off camera. There's no way.

[Morgan]

I feel like there's like, new studies that say fish actually have a lot more going on with them than we previously thought. There's also this video I saw of this guy who goes to the same river every day, and this fish comes up to him and he, like, pets it.

[James Murray Murr]

This is not real.

[Morgan]

You don't think that's real?

[James Murray Murr]

How does he know it's the same fish? All, like, bass look alike.

[Morgan]

It has a spot on it. It's the same fish.

[James Murray Murr]

He's got a mole.

[Morgan]

It's magical.

[James Murray Murr]

It's got a mole. It's got a tattoo of Margaret Thatcher on it. This is crazy. That's not true. You can't tell one, you know, striped bass from another. Maybe you could, but a lot of them look alike, you know what I'm saying? Or they're like 10%, you know, difference. I don't know if it's the same fish.

[Morgan]

Well, I'm gonna be optimistic and think it's the same fish. There is a really good comment here. It's one of the top ones that says, basically, here's what you do. Tell him how this is affecting your lives and ask him how you can continue forward in a way that works for both of you. Not being able to afford luxuries or travel at all. Because if his hobby is a bit much, good luck. I hope this doesn't become the hill you have to die on. And Op responds, he is aware of the consequences we are facing. Just yesterday he was looking at our old photos and said how much he missed traveling. I said nothing. Maybe I should have said something. We're fairly open to each other, but I can't predict what his reaction will be.

[James Murray Murr]

Maybe, you know, I got an idea. This is a crazy idea. Why don't you lure him into vacations again by taking him to famous aquariums around the world? Oh, my God. Honey, there's a great aquarium in Japan. We have to go.

[Morgan]

That's a great idea.

[James Murray Murr]

We have to see these fish. These fish, like, we don't even have in North America.

[Morgan]

That's a Jedi mind train, right? You could ship some fish home.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, my God. There's this amazing aquarium on safari in Kenya in this resort.

[Morgan]

We're snorkeling, right?

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, my God. Snorkeling in, you know, Turks in, you know, Bahamas.

[Morgan]

Yeah, both the Turks and the Bamas. That's a really good idea.

[James Murray Murr]

Trick them. Also, it is not a hill to die on.

[Morgan]

Like, I don't think so.

[James Murray Murr]

I hope your love is stronger than his fish tank. Obsession true.

[Morgan]

And if you can't have a simple conversation about the fish, like, again, it doesn't have to be the hill. Like, there's a compromise there. And, like, let's get you at least comfortable with someone else and train them in and then let's go on a trip. Let's start with a weekend. Like, it doesn't have to be a two week cruise, but we don't have an update on this one. Okay, well, it's six years old now.

[James Murray Murr]

This story is from six years ago.

[Morgan]

Six years ago.

[James Murray Murr]

I mean, at this point, I assume they're both dead.

[Morgan]

Well, you are such a pessimistic.

[James Murray Murr]

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You know, asteroid attack, who knows? I'm not saying anything nefarious.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

It wasn't like a.

[Morgan]

The fish got him.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. I don't know what happened.

[Morgan]

Fish got him. I think they're still out there. I actually think they're going to hear this and then they're going to give us a hope.

[James Murray Murr]

I hope that they are, you know, snorkeling right now in the Great Barrier Reef. And don't get eaten by a shark.

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We love a hot take. We do not love a complicated decision. That's why State Farm makes bundling easy. With a personal price plan, you can choose the coverage you need and get a price that works for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. Have you seen Heated Rivalry yet?

[James Murray Murr]

No.

[Morgan]

Have you. Have you heard about it?

[James Murray Murr]

No. What is it?

[Morgan]

Heated Rivalry is like, probably one of the most viral. It's like a cultural phenomenon show right now. So it's the show coming from Jacob Tierney, recorded in Canada, and it is about, like, closeted hockey players and their love story. And it is just.

[James Murray Murr]

Who are they closeted for?

[Morgan]

Well, like, they're in the closet. They're gay.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, okay.

[Morgan]

And so they're in the closet.

[James Murray Murr]

Closet for anyone? I guess. Suppose.

[Morgan]

Yeah. So they're in the NHL, they're playing professionally, and, like, it follows them over the years and how they, like, reconnect and have to hide their love. And then at the end, like, are they going to be together? Are they going to, like. It's just. It's really good show.

[James Murray Murr]

It's a show about gay hockey players.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

In Canada.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

That rekindle their. That hide their love.

[Morgan]

It's amazing.

[James Murray Murr]

That's cool. Yeah, I'm in.

[Morgan]

Okay, well, this one is about a romance novel.

[James Murray Murr]

Does it have something to do with this?

[Morgan]

Not. Not heated rivalry, but I was like. I was trying to get your. You know where you are at out on baseline. Are you with the heated rivalry in

[James Murray Murr]

terms of what should I think that gay hockey players should be together? Sure.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

You live once. Love everyone.

[Morgan]

Have you ever read, like, a romance book?

[James Murray Murr]

Have I read a romance book?

[Morgan]

Have you read smut?

[James Murray Murr]

No, I have not. I have not. Although I guess the crew of impractical jokers started reading these romance stuff. What are they called?

[Lauren]

Love.

[James Murray Murr]

Do you remember? What's the one that you read? It's like fantasy porn. So the crew of impractical jokers has been reading fantasy literature.

[Morgan]

It's a big thing. It's a big genre.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. I had no idea how big it was.

[Morgan]

Really?

[James Murray Murr]

At all. No. Because I write the books. I write. I write books. I've got nine thrillers out in stores right now, and they're all what? Sci fi horror. They're really scary books.

[Morgan]

Okay, well, maybe add a little romance into.

[James Murray Murr]

So I have an idea.

[Morgan]

You could tap into a whole new audience.

[James Murray Murr]

Three sci fi horror, two serial killer novels, three children's sci fi comedy books, and then one creature feature called Don't Move that actually comes out in movie theaters in September.

[Morgan]

Okay, let's go.

[James Murray Murr]

And the movie is Rob Riggle. T. Pain Wass, the rapper in his debut lead role in a movie. Q is in the movie. Tom Cavanaugh, Lizzie Fonseca.

[Morgan]

It's amazing. It's a really fun cast. I mean, you say T. Pain, I'm there.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It's called Don't Move.

[James Murray Murr]

It's based on my book. Comes out in September.

[Morgan]

You're gonna love it, but amazing.

[James Murray Murr]

I do have an idea for a romance novel.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

Inspired in the sci fi space, though I can't go into it.

[Morgan]

You don't want to give it away.

[James Murray Murr]

I'm developing it now, but it's an idea I dreamt about a month or two ago.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

And I called my co writers like, I got an idea. And this could be a romance. Our first romance.

[Morgan]

This is. This next one's perfect for you. Then.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, my gosh, hit me.

[Morgan]

Wow, this is really lining up. Okay, so this is coming from true. Off my chest. It's two days old, titled, oh, my

[James Murray Murr]

God, this is fresh.

[Morgan]

Like, literally yesterday. Basically, I snapped and called out my friend's husband for shitting on her love of spicy books in front of everyone. And now the group chat is blowing up.

[Lauren]

Oh.

[Morgan]

I have a close friend group that has been tight since college. One of the couples is Jake and Emily. Emily's always been a reader in the group. She got me into some fantasy series a few years ago, but the last couple of years, she's gone deep into romantasy, like Butcher and Blackbird. Haunting Adeline, the ritual God of malice. All the dark, steamy ones. She Talks about them the way people talk about sports or video games. Excited, analyzing the characters, laughing at the banter. It's clearly her happy place, especially after a rough patch with work and some family crap. I've seen how much lighter she is when she's in the middle of one of those books. Her husband, Jake, has never been into reading, which is fine, but he's gotten increasingly dickish about her book choices. He'll make these snide comments like, quote, still reading your trashy porn novels? Or can't believe you're wasting time on that garbage when there's real literature out there. She usually just laughs it off or changes the subject, but you can see her shrink a little each time. Last Saturday, we were all at a backyard hangout, maybe 8 to 10 of us grilling beers, music. Emily was telling me and another friend about a scene in Pucking around and that had her cracking up. Hockey romance. Super spicy. She loves the humor in it. Jake overhears, rolls his eyes and goes loud enough for everyone to hear. Yeah, she's obsessed with that smutty fantasy crap. It's basically just erotica for women who can't get it in real life. He's insulting himself, then he laughs like it's the funniest thing. The vibe went dead. Emily went quiet, stared at her drink. A couple of people gave awkward chuckles, but I was pissed. I set my beer down and said, straight up, dude. Why do you feel the need to humiliate your wife in front of her friends for something that makes her happy? Yep, she's not hurting anyone. She's reading books. If you don't like them, cool. But shitting on her every time she mentions them is insecure as hell. Knock it off. Jake got defensive fast. Whoa, relax, man. It was a joke. But his face was red. Emily looked at me with a mix of surprise and gratitude, then quietly said thanks under her breath. The rest of the night was awkward as fuck. Jake barely spoke to anyone and we all left earlier than usual. Since then, the group chat has been a mess. Two of the guys are saying that I overstepped and should have talked to him privately or it's their marriage. Not your business. One girl said she thought Jake was being an ass and appreciated me saying something. Emily texted me separately to say it meant a lot because he's been dismissive of her hobbies for a while and she feels like she has to hide what she enjoys. Jake hasn't said shit to me directly yet. I don't regret it. Watching him belittle her like that. Especially when she's finally found something that lights her up. Felt wrong, but now I'm wondering if I just made things worse for her at home or if I turned a small thing into group drama. I just had to get this off my chest. Felt good to say it out loud in the moment, but the fallout sucks. Anyone else ever had to call out a friend's partner like that? How did it play out?

[James Murray Murr]

Gosh, this is a tricky one. There's so much to unravel.

[Morgan]

I mean, you were on it, though, where you're like, he's insulting himself.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

How's he not getting that?

[James Murray Murr]

So it is. So let's break it down several ways. What's going on in his head? Right? Why is he so dismissive of his wife? His wife's doing nothing wrong in the slightest. Read everything you want in life, right? There should be more reading and less fighting in the world, right?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

So read anything that gives you pleasure, entertains you, challenges you. Whatever she wants to do, she should do. Okay, so she's done nothing wrong. What's going on in his head that he's dismissive of his wife's hobby or interest? It's insecurity. But why is it insecurity physically of his relationship or intimacy with his wife that it can't compete with what she's reading? Is he worried as a man that she's in her head while they're intimate together and thinking about other things? Is it a. Is it him? And he's using every insult in the book to make it not that. Right. Saying there's real literature out there. It's full of shit. That's not what's going through his head, right? Because he's not reading fricking, you know, Nietzsche or Shakespeare or. He's not reading shit.

[Morgan]

Right? Plato.

[James Murray Murr]

He's not reading shit. Pure roll invocation. They're reading the newest My book, right? They're reading the new. They're reading the newest Dean Kunst.

[Morgan]

Don't talk about yourself like that.

[James Murray Murr]

They're reading the newest Dean Koontz or something like that, which is just entertaining. So that's not his real motive. What's his real motive? He's insecure in their relationship or his, you know, he thinks that she's getting a rocks off it. It's purely physical. Right? And his what he's imagining she's thinking, you know, and the. The. The tell son for him is the. He's basically insulting himself, which is wild, but I know. So the bigger issue is that he's he's embarrassing his wife publicly and he's, oh, it's just a joke. It's not a joke.

[Morgan]

It's not a joke.

[James Murray Murr]

It's not a joke. It's coming from somewhere. Now the other question though is, was the friend right to go back at him publicly?

[Morgan]

I like it.

[James Murray Murr]

It's a tricky one. I have a comparable story, okay, so. And I did not do it publicly. Publicly.

[Morgan]

I did it privately, okay?

[James Murray Murr]

So I have a friend that had been dating the same person for a long, long time, okay, like years. And when we became friends, I met this person and I immediately did not like the individual because she was the kind of person that kept undercutting him in conversation for his accomplishments all the time, never building him up in any way, would always make a snide comment or undercut or undercut. And I was like, I've, you know, I was like, this is not. You do not do that to your partner in public. Right? And I met this individual like two or three times. And then my buddy and I became good friends after a year becoming good friends. We were drunk one night and celebrating something we had to celebrate. And I said to him, I was like, we're good friends at this point, right? He goes, yeah. I said, can I be honest with you? He said, what? I said, dump your awful girlfriend. And he was in shock. He goes, what? I was like, she is cutting you in publicly, left and right, constantly. I was like, this is not. I was like, you are working her ass off to achieve something, working hard and you're a good boyfriend and she's undercutting you in public conversations all the time. When I first met him, we were strangers and she's undercutting him in front of me.

[Morgan]

That's insane.

[James Murray Murr]

This person?

[Morgan]

Yeah, no, that's insane.

[James Murray Murr]

I gave him a day. This was August of a year. I gave him until Christmas to break up with her one week later.

[Morgan]

What do you mean you gave him til Christmas? Were you like, I'm not friends with you. You don't break out with her.

[James Murray Murr]

Things are only real when there's a deadline, right? One week later, oh my God, he didn't wait till Christmas. One week later, he dumped her, unraveled his entire life, and then got married to an amazing woman and has amazing kid. And now his whole life is totally different and became so much more confident in his own life. And now he's a partner that's supportive and believes in him and you trust him. You know what I mean? It makes all the world of difference when you're with somebody that loves you and respects you and builds you up and wants you to be better than yourself and knows that you can be and can you know me. Like, this is bad news, man.

[Morgan]

No, and I just. I don't understand that. Like, why would you want to be with someone who's your biggest hater? Yeah, like, they don't like you.

[James Murray Murr]

Biggest fan. Right.

[Morgan]

Literally.

[James Murray Murr]

So should the friend had said something in public? That's the question.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Look, she's not sorry for doing it, so fudge it. Like.

[Morgan]

Like, I. I honestly, I appreciate it. I feel like someone like Jake probably needs a little bit of, like, that public humiliation. And he's publicly humiliating her. Yeah, he's calling her out. Oh, that erotica trash. It's just for women that can't get anything. Not. He's too stupid to even recognize it's literally a knock on him. But I feel like someone like that just needs a reality check. And I don't understand it. I think it kind of comes up here and there where, like, typically guys will be threatened by those romance novels, and I don't really understand why. And I think, you know, there's this common thing where it's like, a lot of people read them because they're not getting that in their real life. But I feel like for this guy Jake, Jake could easily go to Emily and be like, what. What did you read today? Show me that page. Like, you can bring it into your real life and make it fun and, like, make it a thing in your relationship. It doesn't have to be this threat.

[James Murray Murr]

Here's the fun idea. Act it out literally, right? I mean, it's gonna be hysterical, right? Like, like, like get the outfits that they're wearing and whatever. Let's say the romance novel set in Tahiti and blah, blah, blah, Reenact the whole thing. You not only be a great time with your partner, but you'd be crying, laughing, crying after, like, 20 minutes. It'd be the funniest damn thing you've ever done as a couple. And it'd probably be great sex as a result, too.

[Morgan]

There you go. I just. I don't see how, like, this is a loss for him and why he's so threatened.

[James Murray Murr]

So I wonder if she had. If the friend had not done it publicly in the group setting, do you think her first attempt should have been, let's just decide to go private? Should she speak to him directly, or should she speak to her friend and say, hey, I don't like the way he's doing this? As your friend, you know, just thought, you know, should she go through her, the woman, the wife, or she should go to the husband on the side? I don't know. That's tricky.

[Morgan]

I feel like for me, fuck this guy.

[James Murray Murr]

Do it in public.

[Morgan]

That's what I'm with. And literally the wife texted this person and was like, thank you. So hopefully this will be like that, like wake up call for her to be like, I don't deserve this.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I'm like, oh, okay. Divorce worthy over a book.

[James Murray Murr]

Like, honestly, one would hope that their relationship is built on more solid foundations than him. He just has to be re educated here.

[Morgan]

I just don't think he respects her at all.

[James Murray Murr]

There's something going on in his mind that's screwing this up. I think it's something, you know. I'll tell you what, if he doesn't look at porn on the Internet, then she'll, you know, it's not even comparable. This is a book, man. It's not even comparable. As I said, it was like, no, fuck that. No, it's not the same.

[Morgan]

And like you're using your imagination. Like, he can go read books as well. Yeah, he's got a screw loose. I'm curious what you think about this next person because I can't figure them out.

[James Murray Murr]

Okay, okay.

[Morgan]

This is coming from r relationship advice.

[James Murray Murr]

Okay.

[Morgan]

It's titled Boyfriend, 35, Male. Says my cooking proves I'm not a gold digger. And then she's 29, female. I've been with my boyfriend for four months. He's a lawyer and has a very stressful job. To give a backstory, things were amazing in the beginning. He took me to fancy restaurants, cooked dinners by candlelight, and I could tell he was very nervous about making a good impression. He would kiss me from head to toe, tell me I'm perfect, his princess, et cetera, et cetera. It was honestly a bit much. Over time, he became more short tempered and needed my attention a lot more. I slowly began cooking while he was too busy working to help. Then he could only have sex for 45 minutes before going back to work. One night I joked that he could only have sex if he worked for it. And he became greatly upset and told me I had crossed a major boundary. Things started to get a little weird. He told me he doesn't usually date women who work in marketing. I work in marketing. But it seemed that he made an exception for me.

[James Murray Murr]

That's nice.

[Morgan]

Of then. Sometimes he would power call me if I didn't answer right away. Power call PC four to five times in a row. Oh, he started becoming a bit jealous. For example, I mentioned that Zach Galifianakis is funny and my boyfriend's face turned completely dark. I had a friend paint me nude and my boyfriend said, I don't know how I feel about someone seeing my woman naked.

[James Murray Murr]

Well, you know.

[Morgan]

Okay. I mentioned an ex boyfriend and he wanted to know what school he went to and he became super defensive and aggravated. Sometimes at night I turn my phone onto airplane mode and my boyfriend explains that it makes him feel disconnected and unsafe and could I please check in and check out before doing so. From my understanding, I thought we were dating until one day he talked about partnerships and his needs. Finally, he stated that he is paranoid about gold diggers. He said because he has a high income job, he doesn't want women who will only request fancy restaurants. He said it's good that I cook for him because it proves that I'm not a gold digger and I'm not like those other women. The thing is, I don't always want to cook, but now I kind of feel guilted about it. He's become a bit weird about communication and he will literally say, okay, I expect to hear from you by six. He said he needs our partnership to be organized and predictable. He needs to know that I will respond in a certain time frame and if I can't do that, it won't work. I just found these exchanges really bizarre. Please help.

[James Murray Murr]

There is no helping in this situation.

[Morgan]

You gotta run.

[James Murray Murr]

There's so much to unravel and this

[Morgan]

is only four months.

[James Murray Murr]

This is nuts, man. This couple either needs to break up yesterday or get married today. No, they're either perfect together or should never talk. They're both.

[Morgan]

I like option two.

[James Murray Murr]

They're both fucking nuts, man. They're nuts.

[Morgan]

You think she's nuts?

[James Murray Murr]

There's so many red flags on both sides of the equation.

[Morgan]

Really?

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. Okay, I win. Her start. My God, there's a billion. First, him being jealous of Zach Galifianakis is hysterical to me. I love Zach Galifianakis.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Love it. I love him. He's hysterical. He's hysterical. But come on, bro, like, your girlfriend is with you. She's not running off to be with Zach Galifianakis.

[Morgan]

Who?

[James Murray Murr]

I don't know if he's married, but I assume he's happily married. Who knows?

[Morgan]

I don't know. Either way, he's kind of unattainable.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, either way.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

It's not like she's gonna run into him, you know? At the aquarium store where she's buying new fish for her boyfriend. So the point. Okay, so. So that's an insane jealousy. The fact that he power calls her

[Morgan]

is insane that I've never heard that term.

[James Murray Murr]

The fact that he doesn't normally date women in marketing is batshit crazy.

[Morgan]

That feels like just such a. Like I never date, you know, those

[James Murray Murr]

dirty marketing girls who. What's the. You don't. Trust me. You don't want to get involved with women in marketing because you don't want them to market to me. Like, they could start trying to sell you stuff like, you know, breathe right strips or like, you know, hackney poo. Who knows what they're marketing?

[Morgan]

Okay?

[James Murray Murr]

You can't tell. It's impossible. It's crazy. But then she also puts her phone on airplane mode at night. That's crazy.

[Morgan]

That sounds relaxing.

[James Murray Murr]

At home, put it on do not disturb. Yeah, that's weird. Like a normal human. Do not disturb. That way emergency calls can always turn.

[Morgan]

If you're on wifi, airplane stuff, like wifi still comes through. Like messages still come through. But I guess calls wouldn't.

[James Murray Murr]

Calls wouldn't?

[Morgan]

No. This is a little dangerous.

[James Murray Murr]

It's super dangerous. If I were dating someone and they put airplane mode at night on a night and out working or something and there's no way I would be upset.

[Morgan]

Maybe she doesn't wanna be tracked and then.

[James Murray Murr]

Which is why this couple should either get married or never talk again.

[Morgan]

I like option two that you keep saying never talk again.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

I'm gonna keep reversing what order I say it.

[Morgan]

So I feel like for me, I'm like. I feel like most of the red flags are on his part.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, there's a lot on his part.

[Morgan]

Like the fact that like early on he was like really like love bombing her. Fancy restaurants, cooking dinners. Oh, you're so perfect. You're my princess. You don't even know me. Yeah, like four months. I've had food in my fridge longer than you. Like what? Chill.

[James Murray Murr]

I will tell you. I bought the wedding ring for my wife after four months of dating. I waited until six. I just. I knew. I'll tell you what I knew. On date number one, we were at my favorite restaurant in town. And I remember sitting across from her and looking at her eyes and being like. I just. It was different. It just was immediately different. And I never believed people when they say, you know, and, you know, I thought they were all full of shit, honestly. And it just was instantly different. And also, she was the first person I ever met in my life that I was like, I would have children with that person.

[Morgan]

Wow.

[James Murray Murr]

Which I'd never had that. Ever had that feeling in my life. And I just knew. I knew immediately. And I remember. So before we jumped on this podcast, we're here at the Spotify headquarters in New York City and there's a really great view and there's insane view of an old apartment that I owned. And I got my money back from. Because the building was crooked. There's all sorts of crazy delays. And I got my money back. And I remember being on the set of Impractical Jokers and I was upset. Cause I really. I bought the first thing I ever owned in my life. I bought an apartment. I never had the financial means in my life to buy anything. Not a house, an apartment. I didn't own a car until five years ago.

[Morgan]

Wow.

[James Murray Murr]

What do you think about that?

[Morgan]

It's crazy.

[James Murray Murr]

So I bought an apartment. The building goes under. They don't finish the building. I have to get my money back. I was really upset on set. And the guys said to me, they said, mur, are you serious about this girl you're dating? And I said, yeah. And they said. And they said, are you going to marry her? I said, absolutely. That was only after like two, three months of dating.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[James Murray Murr]

And they said. And the guys are like, what are you doing? Save your money. Go buy a house with. Get engaged and buy a house with her and form a real life with her. And that's exactly what I did. And I have never turned back. It's the best choice ever.

[Morgan]

I love that. I absolutely love that.

[James Murray Murr]

So, like, with the woman, first few months, I get it.

[Morgan]

You can. No, early.

[James Murray Murr]

The problem is that he then turned crazy. Right?

[Morgan]

Yeah. The mask slipped very quickly. Yeah, Very quickly. Yeah, it's. It's a doozy. I mean. Top comment. Yep. Four months is about how long it takes for the mask to slip. Congrats. You've met the real him. It only gets worse from here.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, interesting, Interesting. The real him. The. Right. The rh.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And OP is the writer responds and goes, honestly, I'm getting major power hungry and obsessive vibes from him.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, it's like American Psycho. American Psycho. That's exactly what I was trying to think of. American Psycho seemed like wearing a suit during the day and like, way too intense. Oh, yeah.

[Morgan]

So intense. Another person goes, he's going to try to escalate things to see how far he can push your boundaries. It's called a shit Test. Tell him no to anything and watch his reaction. Controlling men think boundaries are an assault on them. He will retaliate against any attempt to assert your needs and set healthy boundaries. And OP responds and goes. I took about 48 hours to myself saying I wasn't feeling well and needed a bit of space. He said, take all the time you need. But then.

[James Murray Murr]

Which is passive aggressive.

[Morgan]

When he did talk, he said how unsafe and angry he felt.

[James Murray Murr]

Emotional manipulation.

[Morgan]

You feel unsafe and angry because I just needed a little space.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, it's emotional manipulation. He is a con man for sure.

[Morgan]

So we get an update?

[James Murray Murr]

We do, yeah. Holy smokes. I really want to know about the fish situation, though. That was six years ago, man.

[Morgan]

I know.

[James Murray Murr]

And now they're dead and it's too late to find out. An update. Okay, what's the update again?

[Morgan]

Update. Hi. My first post was here and they link it. Holy shit balls. Mother of pearl. What the fuck was that? Relationship. We broke up shortly after I posted. By the end, things had become so bad that even I, insecure and needy, didn't have the patience anymore. He needed me to comply with all of his rules, listen to his work problems, talk him through his anxiety, cater to him sexually. It was too much. When we broke up, he told me how devastated he was and how important I was to him.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, gosh.

[Morgan]

He was manipulating me by saying we can only be friends and that we should meet just to test the waters. It was the most confusing time of my life. He started to create weird communication rules after the breakup by saying, I need space. I can't talk right now. Contact me in two weeks because he needed to heal. But then he would call me and tell me all about his work problems and how he got a raise, et cetera, et cetera. Then he would flip to the other side and angrily tell me, I never want to be in a relationship with you again. I want to see other people. We are over forever. You know what happened? I woke up. I realized that this man has serious issues that have absolutely nothing to do with me. I can honestly say it was like being sucked into a fucking vortex. And we only seriously dated for seven weeks. Exhausting. But all of your comments truly, truly helped me. You all have no idea how much time I read them pretty much every day. So thank you. Thank you. I'm moving on and feeling strong.

[James Murray Murr]

Wow. Good for her. Good for her. Do you think there's any. Anyone who's right for this guy?

[Morgan]

Maybe if he goes to some serious therapy. I think he's got a lot to address internally, presuming that he won't because

[James Murray Murr]

he doesn't seem self aware enough to take that step. Right. So presuming he's going to live his life as he does, is there. Even with those red flags, even with that, whatever he's dealing with, is there someone that still complements that? I would venture to say there might be.

[Morgan]

There might be.

[James Murray Murr]

That plays into all his, you know, shortcomings, all his we. All his faults, all his neuroses, the things he needs.

[Morgan]

There could be someone out there. There. There could be. I don't know what that person looks like because I feel like if. If you have someone who's like, almost like him and meets him at that level, it's like too much. Like he needs someone that he can kind of control. And I don't know, like, it's. That's a tough one. Yeah, it's a tough one. But I'm glad.

[James Murray Murr]

I'm glad it worked out for her.

[Morgan]

I know. Happy ending there.

[James Murray Murr]

Go find a guy that buys way too many fish.

[Morgan]

It sounds better than that guy.

[James Murray Murr]

It really does. It puts the fish thing in, you know, in good contrast. Like, she's set. She's good.

[Morgan]

I know.

[James Murray Murr]

Just take him to the Great Barrier Reef.

[Morgan]

I do want to go snorkeling now. Even though fish scare me, I just don't want them to touch me. Like, have you seen them when they come, like, give those pedicures?

[James Murray Murr]

Yes. Freaking. Oh, my gosh. I had that done once. It's disgusting. It's terrifying.

[Morgan]

You let the fish eat you.

[James Murray Murr]

We did an episode of Jokers where we worked as, you know, estheticians, and I still.

[Morgan]

I don't understand how they let you do this. You. You, like, literally pretend you're like a little dental hygienist person and go in people's mouths.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

How do they let you do this?

[James Murray Murr]

Real loose. Real loosey goosey, man. We get around it. What's the. What's the foot thing?

[Morgan]

Podiatrist.

[James Murray Murr]

I've worked as a podiatrist, but in a. In a.

[Morgan]

Like a pedicure.

[James Murray Murr]

A pedicure.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

A pedicurist. Yeah, a pedicurist.

[Morgan]

Sounds right.

[James Murray Murr]

Person.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[James Murray Murr]

So I've given pedicures. I've given, you know, nails. Esthetician. I've worked as a podiatrist as well, but when we were giving pedicures to people, they had me. They had me while I was giving a woman a pedicure. And I, you know, take her feet, put them in the Water. They had me eating spare. A full rack of spare ribs.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

And I hold in my mouth as I'm working her feet in the.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[James Murray Murr]

And the rib. They said, mer, drop the rib into her foot water. I don't. And it did. And then I said, now take it out and continue eating it as if. Nothing. No. And I forgot flipping.

[Morgan]

Did she have nice feet at least?

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. I mean, feet is. Feet are feet, you know, Nobody's feet are nice.

[Morgan]

No, there's levels of feet. Like, sometimes people have, like, toenail fungus and like. Oh, yeah. Like my dad. His feet, not good. He's got, like, a black toe.

[James Murray Murr]

It's really seems relatively normal, but feet are all disgusting.

[Morgan]

I wouldn't. That's one I. It's a tough job I wouldn't be able to do.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, no, I, I. Feet are disgusting, man. They really are. They had. When we worked as podiatrists, they dared me. There's an older gentleman there. His feet were not nice.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

And they said, mer, while you're talking to him about his condition and recommended, you know, care for his feet.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Slowly stimulate his big toe.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

With a certain gesture. No, because I'm rubbing his feet. I'm, you know, lotion or whatever.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

And I'm doing a certain gesture, as one might do with his big toe. And I did it for the whole time. And he was oblivious to the fact that I was, you know, giving him a hand job.

[Morgan]

He probably had decreased sensation.

[James Murray Murr]

A toe job. A tj.

[Morgan]

Yeah, like him.

[James Murray Murr]

A hot tj.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. How did he not notice, though? Even just, like, visually, you know, just

[James Murray Murr]

because I was still speaking authoritatively with confidence about nonsense, which I knew nothing about.

[Morgan]

See, I'm gullible. Like, if. Yeah. I'd probably fall for it too.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay. This next one for us, coming from relationship advice. It's only 17 days old, so just still fresh. Just over two weeks. It's titled. My husband, 27, male, left me, 26, female, at a friend's cabin in the woods. My husband and I visited our friend's cabin for a celebration. My husband is more of an introvert, and I'm more of an extrovert, especially when it comes to being around our close friends who I've known for many years. He was brought into our friend group about three years ago, and that's how we met. We've been together for a year and a half now. We arrived at the cabin early, and when everyone else started to arrive, including the hosts of the cabin, he started to get very quiet and reserved. He doesn't usually like larger group settings, but this was just a group of our 10 mutual friends that we've known for years. No one new or different. On Saturday morning, he said he wanted to take my car to go skiing on the mountain before everyone woke up. I thought that sounded like a great idea for him. He would get some exercise, do something he really enjoyed. He left early in the morning and said he would be back by 12 or 1 12pm turned into 1, 1pm turned into 2. When I called him, it just kept going to voicemail. I started to get concerned, but I just tried to tell myself that he probably didn't have service on the mountain. Sure, once 4:00pm hit, I started to get really worried calling his phone, still not getting an answer. Finally, at around 4:30 to 5:00pm, I get a text message saying that he was home. He had gone skiing and decided he didn't want to come back. So he took my car and left me at the cabin. When I asked him how I was going to get home, he just told me that he had already contacted our friend and he said he would do it. When I approached this friend, he said that my husband doesn't even have his phone number and definitely didn't contact him to ask. Yes, I was surrounded by friends and someone probably could drive me home. But it still felt really shitty to have been left behind with honestly no regard to how I would get home or how leaving me without even telling me the plan would make me feel. If he didn't want to be there, he could have let me know. If he didn't want to come, he could have stayed home. But this made me feel abandoned and horrible. Especially for the friend who invited us to the cabin, who I now had to tell that my husband just left me here for them to figure out what to do with me.

[James Murray Murr]

God, it's mortifying.

[Morgan]

I'm just not sure what to do with this. My friends think this is really shitty and somewhat out of character for him. But they are frustrated too because they invited him to join the celebration and he just left without stain and saying anything to anyone. I guess I'm just not sure what to do here or how to talk to him about this. Whenever I try, he just shuts me down and walks away. How do I approach this?

[James Murray Murr]

Simple three words. Dump him, girl. Dump him, girl. That guy A is a piece of shit. B is cheating on you, okay? Guaranteed.

[Morgan]

Why did my head go there too?

[James Murray Murr]

1000%. The red flags are. It's written all over this man, he leaves to go skiing alone on the mountain, disappears. Can you cannot contact him till 5pm do. Goes to voicemail. Voicemail. He is cheating on you?

[Morgan]

Yeah. Did he go skiing at all?

[James Murray Murr]

No fucking way. I'm sorry.

[Morgan]

Okay. I'm usually the paranoid one where I'm like, cheating. But you. You got there quick too. Absolutely.

[James Murray Murr]

He's cheating 1,000%. He saw the opportunity. She can't possibly leave physically. And also she's with her friends. Also, let's say. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt if he's not cheating on her. There's still no way they should be together. No one in their right minds. We. We laugh at this all the time in movies, right, where like, someone gets into a fight and like, one person goes storming off and like, like, like if I were a husband and my wife went storming off into the woods or blah, blah. There's no world in which I'm not following immediately or I would ever. Or I. There's no world in which I leave and leave my wife no fucking way. Like, it's insane. Like, it's so not realistic. If somebody ever does, like, it's so mortifying for her too. God. She's with her 10 closest friends, inner circle. And her boyfriend leaves her. What does she say? God, it's unforgiving.

[Morgan]

It's so embarrassing. I think it's also really weird that he's like, yeah, I texted the friend, he's gonna take you. And then he never even talked to him. And then it's like, you're doubly embarrassing me because you're making me go talk to this person. And they have no idea what I'm talking about.

[James Murray Murr]

Gosh.

[Morgan]

I'm just like, for what we are.

[James Murray Murr]

So listen, everybody. We're all fans of the show here. We're getting a group of people together. We're gonna beat the shit out of this guy. Okay? Call it a. Whatever you would like us. We're gonna get. Bring light weapons. We're not gonna hurt him badly. Just gonna him up a little bit.

[Morgan]

Okay? Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

He needs to. This is crazy.

[Morgan]

It's weird.

[James Murray Murr]

So make sure you sign up here if you'd like to be part of this. I'm not gonna say the word gang. I'm not gonna say that word.

[Morgan]

Just a group of friends. Apostle. A group of friends meeting up sounds better.

[James Murray Murr]

Talk with someone.

[Morgan]

Yeah, just sign up right there.

[James Murray Murr]

There's the. The. It's. Let's fuck this guy up. At Gmail is the address to. To join Our. Our group.

[Morgan]

I'm looking at the comments. No one goes down the cheating rabbit hole with us. No.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, gosh.

[Morgan]

Top comment. What the fuck? I would be furious if my partner ever pulled like this. Honestly, this is a horrible thing to do to your partner. He didn't communicate to you all day, abandoned you on a group trip, lied to you about organizing your ride home? What a jerk. This is breakup territory for me, honestly. He was the only one that brought his skis, though, which is also a little like you. I get people like, you know, peace and quiet and going out and doing something on their own. But this was also a group celebration.

[James Murray Murr]

Could you imagine. That's another one. Could you imagine any world in which you're with your girlfriend and the 10 in row circle friends celebrating, and you go off for a whole. Well, he went. He just left. But you go away for half a day to ski on your own is batshit crazy.

[Morgan]

Left. And also, like, someone puts this in all caps and he took her car.

[James Murray Murr]

I know, it's cr. I mean, I'll. If he wanted to go like snow tubing, I'll give him that.

[Morgan]

That's fun.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, it's fun.

[Morgan]

I mean, skiing's fun too. But, like, again, even if you have social anxiety and this is not your cup of tea, like, you should have stayed home or gone back and communicated to your partner, been like, I'm just not feeling good. I love you. Like, did he take all his stuff with him? Or does now she have to figure out how to get herself home along with his shit?

[James Murray Murr]

More proof that he didn't go skiing. They were in Atlanta, so there's just. There's no. Like, there's no skiing in Atlanta. She should have known he's lying.

[Morgan]

I'm just so confused. There are a couple comments. The one mentioning that no one else brought their skis. He did choose to bring them with the intention of going skiing in the morning. I asked him not to because I wanted him to be present, but he said he would just go skiing and be back before everyone woke up.

[James Murray Murr]

Which also people sleep past 1pm yeah,

[Morgan]

that was literally took the words out of my mouth. The next, like, comment is, the thing is, we hang out with these people all the time. When I say just 10 of our friends, it's because that truly is a small number when it comes to. To how large our friend group is and how often 15 to 20 of us hang out. Birthdays, football watching parties, movie nights, you name it. And he usually comes to these events too, knowing full well what he's getting himself into before we go and who's going to be there. He's usually socializing with people that he's most comfortable with, leaning on them for support, including me. But this time he just left without saying a word.

[James Murray Murr]

Do you Irish exit is the phrase? I'm half Irish. I can say it. I don't think it's offensive. But do you Irish exit from parties ever?

[Morgan]

No, I have a really hard time with that. I do the Minnesota goodbye.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, what's that? You do an mgb.

[Morgan]

It's horrible.

[James Murray Murr]

What is that?

[Morgan]

It's horrible. You say bye to someone and then you're kind of awkwardly like still talking and then you talk for another five minutes and then you say bye again and then you kind of like slowly move away and you're like, okay, well you know, I'll see you maybe. Maybe we should go get our nails done. Then you keep talking again and then you come back together and then, okay, okay, bye. And then you just. It's never ending.

[James Murray Murr]

It's the worst. My whole family was that way. It made every family gathering the fricking worst. It would take an hour to get out of the United States to say goodbye. Like you went to a family wedding. Whatever. I'm not like that. I've gone the opposite way. But also on occasion I've Irish exited my own party. Not on purpose. Right?

[Morgan]

So like, so you get a little too drunk.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. Like a few years ago my wife and I throw like a big fourth of July party and there's like a hundred people there in our yard. Friends, family. It's a great time. Old school. So four or five years ago I just disappeared. Like 8:30pm no one can find in your house. They start a backyard wide search in, you know, roving gangs of family members.

[Morgan]

Did you think you got kidnapped not

[James Murray Murr]

knowing where I went? They can't find me.

[Morgan]

Oh my God.

[James Murray Murr]

And they eventually track me to the like the hockey players to the closet in our bedroom like the Canadian. And there I am face down in the dog bed passed out with the dog sleeping next to me on her bed.

[Morgan]

You just wanted to get coffee.

[James Murray Murr]

That's at 8:30. And the party went until like 1:30 in the morning. They picked me up, put me in bed.

[Morgan]

Put you in bed. What time did the party start?

[James Murray Murr]

2:30 day.

[Morgan]

Drinking's hard though. I know, like as an adult, not a college aged person.

[James Murray Murr]

But I did not go skiing.

[Morgan]

No, you didn't leave. Like you didn't abandon your wife.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, if there was skiing in Jersey I would have gone, but there's just no slopes, so.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I'm really curious what everyone thinks on this one. If, if anyone else is getting cheating vibes.

[James Murray Murr]

It's fascinating that no one brings up cheating. I mean, come on, man. No, no further updates.

[Morgan]

No, this is no further updates. Yeah. 17 days. The last comment from op. There's only three. And the last one is just like, I never dragged him along. I didn't make him suffer. All he had to do was like, communicate with me and he wouldn't have had to go. I was just worried that he could have been hurt and not know where he was. It's just unsafe.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. No. Well, again, folks at home, just remember to respond to that email address we put on screen and we'll contact you if we're interested in recruiting you for that. The gang.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I'm willing to travel. Honestly, like, maybe they're in Colorado or Utah. I, I'd go snowboard. Like go find him and then go enjoy a little trip. Sounds like a good time.

[James Murray Murr]

Bring some brass knuckles. Let's do it.

[Morgan]

I'm loaded.

[James Murray Murr]

I, I, I see that.

[Morgan]

I got the bling.

[James Murray Murr]

Is that your wedding ring?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Beautiful.

[Morgan]

Yeah, you gotta.

[James Murray Murr]

You went square, huh? Or like rectangle. What is it?

[Morgan]

The, I don't, I'm not good with that. I forget.

[James Murray Murr]

Oval.

[Morgan]

Oval. That one's oval.

[James Murray Murr]

Oval.

[Morgan]

And then this one's rectangular. Emerald. Oh, so I'm ready. Yeah, I'm beefed up. Okay. One last one for you.

[James Murray Murr]

Did I ever tell you there was an episode of Jokers where they made me swallow my own wedding ring?

[Morgan]

What?

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, I lost. The episode aired like last season or two seasons ago. And we worked at this high end bridal boutique in Long island. And I was just, it was my punishment. And I had to help brides to be get fitted for their dress. It was chaos, right? It was so embarrassing. And at the end of the punishment, they said, I had a plane to catch. I was on tour. I had like my solo tour. I was on tour that weekend in Florida. And so I was leaving set in Long island to go right to JFK to catch a flight to West Palm beach. Running with luggage in hand. Right? And so the end of the punishment, they said, murray, we'll end your punishment if you do two things. First, we know you're going right to JFK to go to tour.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

You have to wear a wedding dress the entire, the entire flight to Florida. And I did. And there's video of me from dozens of people in JFK airport and on JetBlue in a full blown wedding dress the entirety of the flight. Second, they said you can't leave this bridal boutique until you swallow for real your own wedding band. And I did. I got it back two days later.

[Morgan]

See, having to go through your shit to find your wedding band. No, like what. What do you do? Get a. I just don't even want

[James Murray Murr]

the largest Dunkin Donuts straw. I am sorry for the image. I just put in everyone's straw. A Dunkin Donuts straw. The long ones are like a foot long. They're like crazy.

[Morgan]

And you just poked around. Oh, man.

[James Murray Murr]

We don't show that on tv. We just show the. The first part.

[Morgan]

Thank God. Oh, my God.

[James Murray Murr]

I got it back though.

[Morgan]

You're gonna have to send me. I cannot find you.

[James Murray Murr]

Just Mer Swallow's wedding ring maybe. I don't know. I'm sure it's there.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. On the episode, do they show you going through the airport?

[James Murray Murr]

They do. The end of the episode is me with my own cell phone going through JFK and getting on JetBlue. And of course, my seat happened to be the very first seat on the plane.

[Morgan]

Yeah, you had a nice bulkhead seat. You had a lot of room for that dress.

[James Murray Murr]

300 passengers have to walk right by me looking this idiot in a full wedding dress.

[Morgan]

Insane. I'm not finding it. I'll have to do some research and pull up the episode. I'm finding pictures of your wedding though, and so pretty. Okay, I've got one last one for you.

[James Murray Murr]

Okay, let's do it.

[Morgan]

Me with my husband. I discovered he hired an escort while I was in the hospital. Me, 29, female, with my husband, 32, male. I discovered he hired an escort while I was in the hospital. I'll make this as short as I can while adding relevant info. Me and my husband have been married for two years. We were together for two years before that. For the most part, it seemed like everything has been great. We both work a lot, but we made our relationship work. Over the summer, I was admitted to the hospital for surgery on my colon. Because of complications after my surgery, I was stuck in the hospital for over a month.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh my gosh.

[Morgan]

Once I got home, it took me some time to recover and get back to how I was physically before my surgery. During this time, we didn't really have much sex. I was in too much pain and I couldn't do too much physically. Though I did try to satisfy him other ways. This was tough on both of us because we were both used to frequent sex. He did express his frustration more than once, but I thought we'd done a good job communicating and working through it.

[James Murray Murr]

Just let him read like smut romance

[Morgan]

novels turn to a book. Yeah, we're back to our normal routine now. And I honestly thought the hospital bills were going to be more stressful on both of us than this. Well, Saturday night my husband went out with one of our friends, Greg. Greg's wife. Another one of our friends just had a baby around Thanksgiving and was stuck in the hospital because the baby was born too early and needed to be in the incubator. Greg had been really stressed lately and so my husband took him out for a drink. Just to get out and de stress. Uh huh. Greg called me yesterday. Apparently they got really drunk and started talking about how Greg wouldn't be having sex for a while. And my husband said that he could always just hire an escort and that my husband did that when I was in the hospital. Greg just went along with it. But he did think he should tell me.

[James Murray Murr]

Greg told her? His friend's wife. Holy shit. Keep going.

[Morgan]

I didn't really trust Greg at first and thought he might have misheard or was lying.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, what's his motive here?

[Morgan]

But why would he even lie about that? Anyways, I went through all of our old credit card statements and financials and I found a large cash withdrawal around that time that I was in the hospital. That still didn't mean much. So I asked my husband about it and lied and said I was getting stuff together to talk to a financial advisor. He said that he had to pay for a car repair in cash because our card wasn't working. But it was working fine everywhere else. I just don't know what I believe. Especially because we always use the same place for our car repairs and we've always used the same card for it. I could contact them, but I have no idea if they'd even remember. This is all just so confusing. I can't believe he would cheat on me like that. We were planning on trying for a baby soon, but I don't want to bring a pregnancy into this if he's cheating on me. I just don't know what to do from here.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh gosh, this is complicated. There's so much going on here. First of all, what the fuck's with Greg?

[Morgan]

Like, I like Greg. I'm Team Greg.

[James Murray Murr]

You're Team Greg? You're tg.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Fuck yeah. Because if.

[James Murray Murr]

No, no, no.

[Morgan]

If he's cheating on her, I'll tell

[James Murray Murr]

you why I'm not cheating on her

[Morgan]

while she's in the hospital after getting her colon cut.

[James Murray Murr]

Well, don't say colon cut.

[Morgan]

She got colon surgery. Colon cancer awareness is in March or May. I keep forgetting. Have you gotten colonoscopy yet?

[James Murray Murr]

Are you ready for this? Are you ready?

[Morgan]

Have you gotten it?

[James Murray Murr]

I'm scheduled. I go next week. I'm not joking. Next week. We scheduled last night. This is so good. Yes, but she didn't have colon cancer. What she probably had was diverticulitis. What? It sounds like that's the only thing that keeps you in the hospital after a colon surgery for a month.

[Morgan]

You're on it.

[James Murray Murr]

So I would think that. Here's. Here's why I don't think you should be Team Greg. Can I reframe it? Because what is Greg's motive? Motivation?

[Morgan]

He's a good guy.

[James Murray Murr]

No, no, no, no, no, no. He's not. There's not. He is not a good guy.

[Morgan]

You don't think he's a good guy?

[James Murray Murr]

No fucking way. He has some motive that we don't know of.

[Morgan]

What, you think he's trying to get with op?

[James Murray Murr]

I don't know what the motive is. Okay? But there's no world if Greg is friends with the husband. I'm sorry. No guy would do it. Which means that he has a motive. What's the motive? Greg? You may think he did the right thing, but he's not doing it for the right reasons. He's not doing it for her. He's not doing it for their marriage. He's not. There's some ulterior motive that we don't know. I can't guess, but.

[Morgan]

What?

[James Murray Murr]

It could be a million things. It could be him wanting something over on his friend. It could be him wanting to fuck his friend's marriage over. It could be him hating her and wanted to destroy their marriage. It could be he never liked their marriage and wants to tell her to fuck. I'm telling you, his motives are not pure in any way. So you might like the final message.

[Morgan]

Optimistic.

[James Murray Murr]

You might like the final message. But I promise you, his motives we do not know and you should not trust at all. Anyways, back to the issue at hand.

[Morgan]

So the top comment says, man, Greg is a good guy.

[James Murray Murr]

No, he's not. No, he's not.

[Morgan]

Please get an STI screening. Lots of escorts are safe in their behaviors, but some aren't. And if your husband has done this once, there's no telling what else he might have done when given the opportunity. Please don't try for a baby Having kids makes you very vulnerable emotionally and physically and financially. If you can't trust this guy, it's a really bad road to take.

[James Murray Murr]

So. So here's. This is not about Greg ultimately. Right. So whether you. Where you fall on the debate about Greg. I think Greg is a piece of shit. Not because he told her. That's not my problem. My problem is. My problem is you cannot trust this guy's motives because why would. What's. He has no loyalty toward her. So what's his motive? I don't trust him. That's not the issue, though. If he was friends with her first, then I'm changing my opinion on him. But let's say that neither here nor there. The issue at hand is her husband and his behavior. Clearly. He got an escort. He's lying. Very clearly. Right.

[Morgan]

I know the car cash scenario.

[James Murray Murr]

The problem is he did not expect the question. The point is this. He got caught in a surprise. He got caught in the lie. He's lying. Right. So what does she do now? Yeah, that's the question.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

Well, look, do you go to the. How he got the escort? Did he. Did he go to a. Like a service, a strip club? Was it a. Was it a. You know, like.

[Morgan]

I know, it depends on where they live. Like Nevada. You can go to the bunny houses or whatever they are.

[James Murray Murr]

Here's the problem. Once you. There's no going back once she confronts him on it. Right. So she has to be. If she's not.

[Morgan]

But you got to know. So you have to go forward, right? No, you can't just like, go forward. You can't sit on this. Because if it is true.

[James Murray Murr]

No, it's always going to undercut everything.

[Morgan]

Yeah. OP does respond to that. Top comment. Yeah, I figured the baby thing needs to stop. I didn't even think about STIs. Thank you. I would have been even more vulnerable post surgery, too. And someone responds to that. Please believe Greg. He has nothing to gain from lying to you. He's a good guy who's willing to put his social peace on the line in order to stand up for what is right.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, man. But it's not about Greg. It's about her and her choice here. Right?

[Morgan]

Well, someone does respond to that comment and go, greg, Greg, is that you?

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. It does sound like Greg writing. Okay. It really does. So her choice. Look, their relationship cannot move forward. Cannot in any way unless the air is cleared. It can't. That's what it comes down to. She's got no choice here. She must get to the Bottom of it. And either he comes clean, and then she can decide to move on or not. That's her choice. If I were her, I would not. But that's her choice. Yeah, it's their relationship. It's their life, whatever. But she's got to clear the air and either learn the truth or accept what he's saying as the truth. They're frozen in time. There can be no forward progress.

[Morgan]

Would you go to the repair place first before confronting him? Because a lot of the comments do recommend contacting the repair place to try to verify it.

[James Murray Murr]

I don't know, man. How are you gonna. Do they have that intimate a relationship with their repair shop that they're gonna remember? Some people do transaction he made, whether it was cash or credit from four months. I don't know.

[Morgan]

Maybe it's worth a shot.

[James Murray Murr]

Like, it's hard. Like, it's really hard for me to.

[Morgan]

I like evidence. I like proof. Give me the receipts.

[James Murray Murr]

I hear you, but I just. I'll tell you what. Like, a somewhat comparable scenario. Like, I do those, like, you know, cameo videos, right?

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh.

[James Murray Murr]

And it's a very busy week. It's Valentine's day, so it's. I'm sure for everyone on cameo, It's a very busy week where you record a lot of messages. Hey, you'd be my valentine. All that kind of stuff.

[Morgan]

Duh.

[James Murray Murr]

But I turned down a request last night of a des was just.

[Morgan]

I'm kind of scared.

[James Murray Murr]

It was too specific. And I turned these down. I get them maybe once or twice a year that somebody's like, my girlfriend broke up with me. Will you please. It's Valentine's day. Implore her to come back to me. And I always turn down because it's too personal.

[Morgan]

That's weird.

[James Murray Murr]

I was like, I don't know why you broke up. I don't know what your scenario is. I don't know if you were abusive to each other. I have no idea.

[Morgan]

That's actually really smart that you turn those down.

[James Murray Murr]

And I say, so sorry. I like to keep things professional, and I don't do it right. And so this situation, if she goes to the mechanic shop. I don't know, man. It's really hard to say. If I were a mechanic, first of all, I'd be like, hey, I would see right through it immediately.

[Morgan]

I have no idea.

[James Murray Murr]

I don't want you to. Transaction I made six months ago. I have no idea in the slang.

[Morgan]

That's true.

[James Murray Murr]

I would stay away from the drama at all costs.

[Morgan]

And it's hard too, because if the mechanic doesn't remember him and then is like, never saw him, but he actually did do it and is telling the truth, then it's like, that's another stick in your pot.

[James Murray Murr]

She's got to go. The only way I understand why she might want to and why people would say go to the mechanics is get more evidence before you confront your husband. Because there is no going back. Once that click that is out there, it's out there. And if, let's say, giving him the benefit of the doubt, he did not cheat on her.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[James Murray Murr]

He will never forget the accusation. And likewise, if she doesn't bring it up, she'll never forget. God, it's a fucked up situation.

[Morgan]

I know. Once that trust is broken, there's no answer here. There's no answer.

[James Murray Murr]

The only answer is to buy a good smutporn book and enjoy it on a beach or buy a fish tank.

[Morgan]

There is an answer.

[James Murray Murr]

What is it?

[Morgan]

We get an update.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. I know. Can I predict?

[Morgan]

Mm, I haven't read it fully. I'm like, I predict she did. I'm sweating.

[James Murray Murr]

I predict she did not go to the mechanic. I predict she eventually boiled up inside of her so much that she did confront him on it.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[James Murray Murr]

And I. I predict that he did come clean. And whether they lasted, I can't predict that.

[Morgan]

Hi, everyone. I was going to update this last night, but then I got drunk and forgot. Thank you all for the wonderful replies. I was so overwhelmed, I stopped responding. I thought I should address some questions and concerns before moving on to the update. For those of you talking about bro code, it wouldn't apply here. Greg and Emily were my friends. Oh. Before I even met my husband.

[James Murray Murr]

Okay, now you're adding a very. Forget everything I said about Greg. Greg's awesome. I didn't know that very well.

[Morgan]

Greg's a good guy.

[James Murray Murr]

Okay. Greg's a good guy.

[Morgan]

I knew them both in college. I was actually a bridesmaid at their wedding. And I'm the godmother of their newest baby.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, gosh. Okay, well, now you're reframing things, Guys, are we Team Greg? So anybody that sends an email to that address, I said to beat the shit of Greg's not in part of that Greg Sarc.

[Morgan]

Greg safe.

[James Murray Murr]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And the reason I didn't go out for drinks with them was because I was watching their two other children. So it would be like bro code if Greg didn't kind of tell me.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, because they're bros. Got it.

[James Murray Murr]

They're bros. They're male, female bros. Yeah, I got it.

[Morgan]

On to the actual update.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, boy.

[Morgan]

I stopped by the car repair place we always go to and the one that he said he used when I was in the hospital.

[James Murray Murr]

Car breaking down. They're going all the time.

[Morgan]

They had no record of working on our car at that time. Not even a tire change or an oil change.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, he. He got his tires rotated. All right.

[Morgan]

Or an axle adjustment. Nothing. So my husband was definitely lying about it because they said at that price, they'd always have some sort of record.

[James Murray Murr]

They don't remember working on his stick shift?

[Morgan]

Nope.

[James Murray Murr]

No.

[Morgan]

I went to confront him the other night.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh, gosh.

[Morgan]

Long story short, he didn't deny any of it. He wasn't sorry about it either. He fessed up to hiring the escort and to having sex with her. He said it wasn't cheating because it was a service, not like he fell in love with the other woman.

[James Murray Murr]

Kind of like Spotify is a service.

[Morgan]

It's a service.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah. It's a service. You pay membership. Yeah, sure. Yeah, it's a service. You know, it's like going, you know, through the Dunkin Donuts window. It's a service. They brought. They serve you donuts.

[Morgan]

It was just sex to him. I also asked him about STIs, and he said he didn't even think of it. So off to go get tested I go. Because of my husband's stupidity and cheating.

[James Murray Murr]

What's an sti?

[Morgan]

Sexually transmitted infection. Std.

[James Murray Murr]

Is it a combination of, like, UTI and std?

[Morgan]

They, like, kind of changed it because disease implies, like, chronic, and so infection can be treated. So there's, like, some politically correct changes in that.

[James Murray Murr]

Sti. Got it, so. And he didn't even think about it? Of course he didn't think about it.

[Morgan]

Didn't think about it, I should say. My future ex husband, though, I cannot trust him. And the fact that he didn't think he did anything wrong, that disgusts me. Once he knew that I knew, he wasn't even defensive anymore. He wasn't sad or angry. He just seemed like he didn't even care.

[James Murray Murr]

Oh.

[Morgan]

Like he was apathetic about our whole marriage. Everything I thought I knew about him was wrong. I. And I'm trying to figure out how he tricked me so well.

[James Murray Murr]

Wow.

[Morgan]

I called a divorce lawyer, and I'm currently staying in our guest room because I don't even wanna look at him. I'm going to see the lawyer next Wednesday and figure out where to go from here. Oh, also, I got Greg a thank you gift. He's now subscribed to meet of the month for a whole year,

[James Murray Murr]

which is so funny. That's so funny to me.

[Morgan]

Thanks for all your support through this, guys. Sure.

[James Murray Murr]

My life fell apart. So as a result, to thank my friend, I. I got him meats.

[Morgan]

Here's some meat.

[James Murray Murr]

I got him 12 months of T Bone.

[Morgan]

Here's some meat.

[James Murray Murr]

Which is so funny to me.

[Morgan]

Meat.

[James Murray Murr]

So good for her.

[Morgan]

Insane.

[James Murray Murr]

Thank God she found out. I'm telling you. We should change the name of the podcast to Dump him girl. That's like 90% of it, man.

[Morgan]

Is that the episode title today?

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah, I think so.

[Morgan]

Dump him girl.

[James Murray Murr]

Enough. Thank God she dodged the biggest bullet on the planet. Cause once you're married, once the kids forget it, everything is harder.

[Morgan]

No, they are.

[James Murray Murr]

Thank God for Greg. Team Greg.

[Morgan]

Team Greg. Thank you.

[James Murray Murr]

Thank God, Greg.

[Morgan]

Thank you.

[James Murray Murr]

Make sure you send an email to welovegregmail.com we're going to buy Greg more meat.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I know. Well, this is from 2015, so he ran out of meat years ago. Probably would like more.

[James Murray Murr]

Greg needs more meat.

[Morgan]

He needs more meat.

[James Murray Murr]

Let's start a GoFundMe for Greg's meat. That sounds weird.

[Morgan]

I like that. I like that. Thank you so, so, so much for coming on.

[James Murray Murr]

Thanks for having me.

[Morgan]

You mentioned you have a movie coming out.

[James Murray Murr]

I do.

[Morgan]

What else is going on?

[James Murray Murr]

Don't Move is a horror movie starring T Pain, Rob Riggle, Lindsay Fonseca, Russ. The rapper Q is in the movie. It comes out in theaters this fall. September. You'll hear all about it real soon.

[Morgan]

I'm so excited.

[James Murray Murr]

Including the trailer coming out on YouTube. The movie's very, very scary and very funny as well.

[Morgan]

Romance, sci fi book coming soon.

[James Murray Murr]

Possibly you can get it in my books. My latest book is yous Better Watch Out. A serial killer thriller. Brand new episodes of impractical jokers on every Thursday night on tbs. We go back to filming in just a few weeks on another season. I'm so very excited.

[Morgan]

I want to walk through.

[James Murray Murr]

Love you all. Can you check out my wife's candle company? Go to.

[Morgan]

Yes. The candles are insane. The citronella1.

[James Murray Murr]

Go to 95candles.com. Her candles are unbelievable.

[Morgan]

The hot cocoa one. All of them. And I'm gonna have to put a picture of the little candles so everyone can see.

[James Murray Murr]

And then of course, please send an email so we can start that gofundme for Greg's meet.

[Morgan]

Yeah, we're gonna need some funds for the meet. Oliver's links will be in the description. Melissa's candle link will be there as well. Until next time, guys. Bye.

[James Murray Murr]

Bye, everybody.

[Morgan]

Okay, you ready for the little birthday treat I've got? I'm pulling a couple stories from the Patreon vault, give you guys a little sneak peek, what we've been doing over there. And if you want more, come on over. I just did a bonus episode with Lauren. Yes, Lauren is still around. Our schedules just have not been lining up. She's a busy working gal, but rest assured, she will be back. And until then, enjoy these bonus stories. Okay, up first, this is coming from true off my chest, 28 days old. Now I've been sitting on it for a while because it's just so good money. It's titled I'm watching my stepmom become the loser she always told me I'd become. And it's amazing. So I was a mistake. My mom and dad were dumb idiots. Mom mostly raised me because my dad tried blocking her. After a while, he was in my life and paid child support. He got married and had two more kids the right way. And my stepmom, Hildy, never let it go how much better she was than me, how she and her kids had clothes from nice stores and not Walmart, and how they just didn't have time to include me in the Christmas card picture. Plus, I wouldn't have had a nice enough outfit, so. Oh well. One of their kids, my brother, came out as trans a bit ago and Hildy seemed very supportive. Apparently not. She's been drinking a lot and gaining weight. She lost her job and I found out because she called me ranting in the middle of the day and saying that she lost her daughter and like I should have transitioned instead of him. It was so bizarre. And I told my dad that he needed to deal with it. He tried telling me that he wanted her to get therapy, but honestly, I don't care. I don't want her to ruin my brother's lives. Apparently she picked one of them up from school and smelled like wine. She has been so horrible to me my entire life that I've known her most of it and I don't care that she's unhappy. I have enjoyed watching her burn out. Yes, I feel bad for my brothers, but this woman treated a literal child like trash because she hated my mom. She came into my bridal shower wearing a white dress that she couldn't even zip up the whole way. When people mentioned it, I just shook my head and ignored it. Like she would do when people would point out that my jeans were too short that one time. And in front of everyone, she said that she refused to spend their family's money on clothes for me since my dad paid child support. Whatever, I don't care. She deserves her life and my dad deserves his marriage. And I'm clearly not a good person for laughing at all of this. So I guess I retroactively deserve my childhood. The only victims are my brothers.

[Lauren]

The end.

[Morgan]

The end.

[Lauren]

I'm with you. I don't think you retroactively deserved your childhood. But, man, this is satisfying. I'm all for it.

[Morgan]

I feel bad.

[Lauren]

Like, I want a front row seat. Where's my ticket? I think it's just so different when you're awful to a child. It's unforgivable. So I'm with you. It's not an adult making a decision to be like that towards another adult. No, it's like that towards a child. Kids are defenseless. Kids are trying to learn how to, you know, survive, go about the world and who they're gonna become. And it's like you're so fragile and impressionable. So any of that stuff that sticks with you for a lifetime. I remember some stuff that. I mean, it's more often other kids in a bullying way. I remember everything that's been said to me growing up. And I remember all the insecurities I had. And sure, you outgrow some of them, some you carry forward, for sure. And I just can't imagine getting that from an adult. So, yeah, I agree. She deserves every bit of it. And I'd be there eating my popcorn, watching it go down. I don't have sympathy for that after the shit you did to me. No way.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Lauren]

But yes, for the brothers, of course. I don't want them to be in that situation because if she fully crashes out, then that's gonna affect them and it's only gonna get taken out on them. And yes, we don't want that.

[Morgan]

But I know. Cause there's no mention even how old the brothers are. Yeah, no mention of age. And it's like if they're young, like, that's even harder, like, to have your mom not support you as you are transitioning and doing all of that. I'm trying to look at OP's comments just to see if there's any more insight into this. Yeah, we do have a few comments from op. There's a whole nother post I discovered that came out a couple months before this one. We're gonna get into that now, briefly. But someone says to op, your dad is a piece of shit for not standing up for you, not including you, not buying you a nice outfit for the pictures and allowing her bullshit white dress at your wedding. Fuck your dad and fuck her.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

OP says no. My dad is a pillar of the community according to what Hildy told my mother in law. Pillar of the deadbeat community. Sure.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Uh huh.

[Morgan]

They're so insane. Like they really do deserve each other. He is such a piece of shit. Anyone that's willing to throw their kid under the bus for the sake of a new partner and a new family and a do over, fuck you. Rot in hell. You're a piece of shit. I think it's pathetic. And all of this has clearly impacted op. I mean the first line starts with so I was a mistake. My mom and dad were dumb idiots. They might have been dumb, they might have been being irresponsible. You might have been an oops baby, an unplanned baby, but you are not a mistake. Like I hate when people like associate themselves with that because like I really relate to that. Like I was a total oops baby, very unplanned. But like I remember just like that pain of just like the struggle with my bio dad. And so it's hard but like you are still not a mistake. I just like I feel bad for OP but we do have a couple more comments. OP says the worst part is that she hates my mom so much. And my mom isn't perfect by any measure because of the whole child support thing. When I found out that Hildy had apparently asked my mom not to go for a CS increase because they were going to have a baby and things were tight in retrospect, that was not my mom's problem. She only went for the increase when Hildy kicked me out of my room. She couldn't be a stay at home mom because of the child support. Apparently all she had to do was treat me like a family member and it would have been fine. She's been stepping on rakes for decades. I love that saying, she's been stepping on rakes. I've never heard stepping on rakes before. It's like you are creating your own issues and can't you just envision like the old cartoons of someone, they step their foot on a rake and it comes back and smacks them in the face.

[Lauren]

I mean I've done it, I don't have to envision the cartoon. It's happened to me with those rakes at the farm. Those are the kind that do it. It's those sharp, twisted metal ones.

[Morgan]

Yeah, those old timey rakes.

[Lauren]

I mean, I think someone that makes all these comments and treats someone this way has always been deeply unhappy and it's now just really coming to the

[Morgan]

surface about like the Hilde, the stepmom.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Being like unhappy.

[Lauren]

Yeah. And I think the whole time with the comments she was making to OP and all of us, the way she treated her growing up and then even her dad, I just, I just can't see them being happy people and having a happy life together. I think it's all just pretend and it's, oh, we're keeping it all together and we're perfect. We buy the nice clothes and you have shit clothes. When you start comparing yourself and making yourself trying to seem like you're better, I think it's because you're so deeply unsatisfied with your life and you're so unhappy. Because if you are a truly happy, content person, you would not even think that way. I mean, I guess there are some assholes out there that probably do, but in this story, I really don't think there's ever been true happiness there. No, it's been faulted from the beginning.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean, someone responds to that comment, the one that ends with, she's been stepping on rakes for decades. And they go, how can she claim to not be trashy but does an incredibly trashy thing by asking to pay less child support? I feel like that is something someone from a low class upbringing would think was appropriate. OP responds, she came from a pretty trashy family. To be honest. It was just projection.

[Lauren]

There you go.

[Morgan]

Someone goes, you are far better than that woman. It is okay to laugh. Things would not be better from holding back anyone treating a child like that because they think they are better than jealous of past partner or whatever deserves all bad things. Of course it sucks for your siblings. Still happy. She is struggling. Just got to support your brother because that is the mom. Awful, awful person. OP responds, it's bad because I don't feel super responsible for my brothers. Obviously I'm there for them, but at least they have my dad and he should be the one looking out for them. My mom was kind of a mess and I didn't have a dad looking out for me. He was too busy with other stuff. They know they can always call me and I'll be there. But I'm not going to pry.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I think that's totally fair. Especially like Your dad dropped the ball on you. You were kind of not an outlier, but you were like ostracized, you were pushed out, he didn't have your back. So yeah, your brothers are innocent and all this and you can say like I'm here for you if you need it but. But you don't have to bend over backwards or light yourself on fire to keep them warm like your dad. Those are his kids and he made it clear that he has priorities to those children and not you. So I get where op's at with this. It's really just a good off my chest getting this out there, venting and feeling a little better.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

The other post on OP's account that I can see is a post about their wedding. It is four months old, titled am I the asshole for not telling my dad that he wouldn't be walking me down the aisle? And it's a pretty long post. Essentially 25ish years ago, two dumb 20 year olds got drunk and made me. They had and still have nothing in common, don't particularly like one another, but for some reason decided to keep me. I always lived with my mom full time. I love her, don't get me wrong, but she's pretty messy. I have six other half siblings, two of them have the same dad. We always had a clean place to live and never went hungry or anything, but I know there were times that she did so we wouldn't. Mom very clearly loves all of us individually and as her family. She's just pretty irresponsible. My dad, I'd say more has his shit together, but we're not close. He married Hildy also mid-40s when I was 6ish. And they had my half brothers, Jesse, 16 and Kyle, 14 a few years later. They both have really good jobs and a nice house and cars. I know my dad paid child support, but their lives were very different from mine. I'd come over every other weekend but after a while they were too busy with the other two so I would just wait for my dad to text me when he was available. He did, don't get me wrong, but he works a lot, so I probably saw him once a month before I went to college and after we'd talk every now and then, but mainly just see each other on the holidays. One of those holidays, Hildy got kind of drunk and told me that after my mom had me, my dad basically blocked her and just paid child support until his parents, grandma and grandpa basically shamed him for being a deadbeat. And then he got some visitation. That hurt a lot to hear, but it made a lot of my childhood make sense. It all came up because she was resentful that he had to pay my mom child support until I was 21 and was saying she had wished I'd skipped college. It's also sad because I know she was busy with her kids, but I always thought she at least liked me. Like, I know she hates my mom because it was maybe petty, but when she had Jesse, they replaced my room at their house with the nursery and put my stuff in another one. So my mom filed and was awarded much more child support than she had been getting and that affected them. It's fine. There's free therapy at college and I'm actually doing great career and mental health wise now. In fact, my fiance and I make about as much as they do. Granted less property. So I'm in a really good place. OP goes on to like, talk about their fiance, John, 25. They became friends freshman year. Didn't start dating until years ago. His family is amazing. All amazing things. Yeah, they've been good about setting up boundaries with mom. So they're getting married soon. It'll be in John's hometown. And this is where drama starts coming up, obviously, because bio dad, Bio dad wants to know, am I walking you down the aisle? I just went through this. His family and to be honest, want a big wedding. But since we're just starting our careers out, his parents are paying for the whole thing. I'm paying for my dress though. And my mom and my younger siblings travel. I kind of just assumed my dad would walk me down the aisle. But a few weeks ago, at one of my showers, Hildy was talking with John's mom who was saying how proud they must have been that I paid my own way through college. Hildy was like, oh yeah, it looked really hard. We're glad that we started saving towards our son's college funds a long time ago. They have more than enough for undergrad and probably grad school. I overheard this and confirmed with John's mom what she said. It hurt so bad. College was a struggle. There were times all I had were multivitamins and PB and JS and only because my mom would send me $20 here and there. Don't get me wrong, I'm also proud of myself and I know the boys are both their kids while I'm just my dad's, so of course they'll give them more. But it really solidified to me who and what I was to them. So I asked my brother Jake to walk me down the aisle. John and his family know about this and 100% support me. Hildy called me yesterday asking about the rehearsal dinner, where they'd need to be and when, and I told her they wouldn't need to be at the church or anything and could just go to the restaurant after. She was like, oh, well, how will your dad practice walking down the aisle? It was super awkward and I let her know Jake would be, but I was excited to see them. A few hours later, my dad came to our condo and told me how disappointed he was. He said he's been dreaming of giving me away my whole life. I was in a pretty good headspace luckily, and I was just like, oh, I didn't know you'd want to and I didn't expect you to care. Trying to be nonchalant and avoid drama. He was aggressive though, and wouldn't let it go, saying I was going to make him look like an idiot and if Hildy hadn't asked, he would have shown up thinking he'd walk me down the aisle. I asked him why he would assume that and he looked at me like I was stupid, but I wanted to hear him say it. And he finally said that any father would expect that. I was just like, sure, but any other father probably didn't ignore their daughter for the first few months of their life, have as minimal custody as possible, or have college funds for some of their kids but not others. They probably did do things like take their daughters on vacations, attend a single father daughter event and help them out even though they were legally done. He got mad, but honestly couldn't even argue with me and just said he wasn't sure if he approved of this marriage anymore. I told him I wasn't worried about that and the truth was that we just simply weren't important people to one another. He got really sad after that and left. And even though John agrees with my decision, he said I should have given my dad the heads up about what I wanted from him at the wedding. As much as I value his opinion, I also feel like he doesn't get it. His family loves him and would do anything for him and has. While my dad has only ever done the bare legal minimum when I needed him, I never assumed he would help me and he shouldn't assume he can play a role in my wedding. And no, I'm not the asshole for having my brother walk me down the aisle. That's no debate. But was I wrong for not directly Spelling out for my dad that he would be attending as a guest and only a guest.

[Lauren]

No, I think you're meeting his communication style your whole life with, with the same energy.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And also, I can't believe that horrid woman's gonna be there. That's what I would have set in stone long ago. The last thing I'd want to see is her sitting there. And she'll probably wear white.

[Morgan]

She did, she did wear white.

[Lauren]

Oh, that was to the wedding.

[Morgan]

It was, I think Op. What did she say? Was it reception or rehearsal? We do get an update on this actually.

[Lauren]

I thought that was like a bridal party or like a. I thought that was something else, but yeah, I'm not surprised. And just with the comment about the college thing, you don't think she's gonna be doing all that shit that whole night to all your people?

[Morgan]

She will. She absolutely will. Like, Hildy is a self centered. I mean to brag about your two kids and their college funds as like your stepdaughter's mother in law is like, aren't you so proud she paid for school on her own? It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. We have so much fucking money. We, our two boys get to go to college and grad school. That's how much we have saved. And it's like, whoa, read the room, read the room. She can't because it's all about her. She's a self centered bitch.

[James Murray Murr]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And then I think the way you played it with your dad is perfect. I honestly, I would have thought you had a script or notes written to do it that clear and that plain

[Morgan]

and on the spot when it's so stressful.

[Lauren]

Especially when he's kind of pushing it and getting really, you know, aggressive, as she says.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Lauren]

I think you did great.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Lauren]

And then it ended up getting through. Because when you make such a strong case and it's not like you were yelling, at least I didn't take it that way. And you just said, exactly why, here's why. And there's no response. Great job. Great job. And then the statement, we're just not important to each other.

[Morgan]

I know it's like, that's tough. But it's hopefully a wake up call for you.

[Lauren]

But do you know why it's tough? Because he knows it's true.

[Morgan]

Oh, absolutely.

[Lauren]

100%. The whole time.

[Morgan]

I think I still really feel bad for Op. Like from the first post to this post, it's just like the pain she's gone through and, like, honestly, I feel like this is like, another multiverse version of me in my life. Like, my bio dad threw a fit about child support. Like, my mom didn't get it. A lot of times I kept getting it throughout college. Cause he was so late on the payments from when I was under 18. And like, ugh, it was so crazy. Like, he would brag about, like, not having any money, and it was all, like, a front. Like, he would get paid in cash. He had a shit ton of money. He'd buy new trucks, he'd buy new this, buy new that, and then wouldn't be able to pay my mom child support. Like, and he'd brag about it to my face, and it's like, okay, but I'm envious of. Of p. Like, I think this was handled really, really well. Should you have told him before? Yeah, but, like, Hildy kind of took that away from you based on, like, Hildy getting involved and asking.

[Lauren]

Well, and Hildy definitely was like, you need to go over there right now and you need to get this set. Like, she's puppeteering the whole thing.

[Morgan]

I know, but I'm glad for OP that it came out before, because it did not come out before at our wedding. Like, I wanted to talk about it with my bio dad at the rehearsal dinner. He didn't show up to the rehearsal dinner, so I didn't get that opportunity. And he RSVP'd yes to the rehearsal dinner. And then when I talked to him about it at the wedding, he was like, oh, I didn't know. I didn't know about it. And I'm like, you RSVP'd yes. And then my brother Matt, who's our officiant, like, my bio dad's standing there. Everyone's, like, standing there. And Matt is like, who's walking down the aisle? And I look at my brother and I'm just like. So I had both my bio dad and my dad Jerry walk me down the aisle. And then they got halfway. And then my mom, we did a trade off. Everyone thought it was beautiful. Like, my. I had some friends that came up to my mom after and were like, I was crying. It was so impactful, but, like, it's not what I wanted. And it. That is an honor. And, like, if you don't deserve that honor, you shouldn't get that honor. So I'm. I'm glad OP Stuck to their guns, didn't have him walk her down the aisle, and it still stayed that way. Looking at the update, everything went okay. At the wedding, dad ended up writing an email. Op's like, I'm not gonna post it. Cause it's super lame and it was just some old song of poor him, his life is so hard. He wasn't ready to be a dad. He did the best he could, he always loved me, blah, blah, blah. No action items, no probably false promises to change. Nothing new. No, he didn't offer any money for the wedding, but reiterated a lot that he's always dreamed of walking me down the aisle. Yet you're not pitching in, but you have so much money in these college funds. But yeah, second update did not come after the wedding. So we went from wedding post update, which, like, wasn't really an update, just dad sent an email, but still sticking with brother and then the stepmom becoming a loser post. So no other posts yet. There are a lot of comments from op. Like, if you guys want to do a big deep dive on this account, you totally can. I mean, it's really interesting. It sounds like she's in a really good spot. Some of the comments are rude, but very active on Reddit. I mean, replying to a lot of other people's posts and accounts and things like that. Okay, yeah, but moving on to this next one. It's kind of a doozy of a first story. Okay, and we're back. We're back. I feel like this is gonna be an interesting palette cleanser. It's not necessarily a feel good, like, super happy palette cleanser. Okay. But it's just kind of a different perspective that I don't think we usually get on a lot of our posts about cheating. Okay, so let's get into it. All right. It's coming from true off my chest, and it's titled, I'm going to have to break my Husband's Mistress's heart, and I don't want to do it. My husband is having an affair. I found out eight months ago when a text from Henry said, I love you, heart, heart, heart. I managed to sync his text up to our icloud and have been monitoring them ever since. Even worse, his mistress is also a victim in this. She has no idea that he's married. He told her that he's separated from me and we're going through the divorce process. To his credit, he doesn't badmouth me as the horrible ex wife that makes him miserable. He doesn't talk about me at all. I also think that's because the evil ex wife is a classic lie from a cheating husband. And she's smart enough to see through that. I know that usually the wife hates the mistress or at least resents her. But I can't hate her. I love her so much. She has no idea that my husband is a loser. And she's such a sweetheart who deserves the entire world. She sends pictures of the holiday cards that she makes for the people in the local nursing homes because the holidays can be such a lonely time for them. She texts him little love poems when he says that he's stressed. She asks about his day. She's so smart too. Whenever she talks about something that she's interested in, it's like a YouTube deep dive, only in text instead. My husband loves the Deadliest Catch. She explained to him why the FV destination sank. It was fascinating. She's also said how happy she was that the tragedy was taken seriously enough to make stricter rules about safety regulations to keep fishermen safe. My loser. My loser of a husband doesn't deserve to even breathe in her direction. I know that I need to confront him and tell him that I want a divorce. I've been putting it off. He wouldn't be man enough to face her, so it would be up to me to break her heart for him by giving her the bad news. I don't want to be the one who makes her cry. I just hope that she knows that even though she lost a cheating boyfriend, she'll have a friend in me. Aw. I don't want her to feel embarrassed or ashamed for something that was done to her and not because of her. That's what I'm dreading the most about the upcoming shitstorm.

[James Murray Murr]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Uh huh. That's so cute. I love her. I'm like, are you. I think you're in love with her. Like, why? Are you. Are you by like, could this maybe work? Is she by. You know what? It probably was just the fact that, like, she started realizing that her husband was not the one for her. She probably started falling out of love with him by the time that she found the affair. So she probably looked at it more like pragmatic and more objective than anything. Because otherwise, like, I don't know how somebody gets out of their own way enough to be able to be like, I love his mistress. I know. I'm blown away by like this level of composure and like self awareness and insight. Like, I would not be able to hold on to knowing about my husband's affair for eight months. I know that is a long amount of time. That's kind of crazy actually. Well, that's where I'm like, Are you holding on as long as you are because you actually feel like you have a relationship with her, too, through these messages. Wow. Like, you say you love her. You talk about how smart she is, how she deserves so much more. Like, you're putting this off because you almost have this parasocial relationship with her, maybe, and she. She doesn't even know who you are. When we look at that way, that feels kind of creepy. I know. This is what I'm like. Wait, what? I thought it was really cute, but then when I thought about the time. Eight months. That's a long time. Also, you're letting them date. Like, now. They've been dating a year now. It's getting, like, longer, right? And more serious. And her feelings are more intense where, like, hey, if you would have nipped it in the bud eight months ago, then you wouldn't have hurt her. Like, you would have heard her less. You would have heard her less. Like, you're worried about now. So it's just really interesting. And you'd think at some point before the eight months, maybe six months, maybe four months, maybe two months. I don't know. Like, why did it take eight months? Eight months, huh? I know. Isn't that a doozy? What? Do we have any updates or anything? Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I really thought you were gonna give me an update on this one. Nope. The post has been deleted by the person who watched Don't Talk today. Top comment. Make sure you have proof that you two are still married and living together. She may go to denial first. Best of luck, Op. Next comment. Exactly this. There's still a chance she may forgive him and stay with him, so it is worth being ready for that possibility as well. Next comment down. It isn't her job to prove anything to her. Nothing. But I'm Bozo's wife, and I just found out he has been seeing you. I'm not mad at you. I know he lied to you and said we weren't together anymore. Well, I'm about to file for divorce now, so if you still want him, he's all yours. But I thought you had a right to know what kind of man he is. I believe you deserve better. It's the other woman's job to decide what to do with that information. There is zero reason to put any effort into proving anything. OP has enough on her plate right now. Yeah, Op. Go see a lawyer and get your ducks in a row before you tip your hand. Yeah. Ooh. One comment goes. She sounds like a lovely person. That's sort of a catch 22 problem. People see the world through their own filters. She is a good person at heart and so thinks others are. Even your slimy, soon to be ex. I originally found this on an Instagram sub. Reddit Instagram page. Oh my God. Spooky Stars YT. YouTube. I don't know what it stands for. YT, but that's the Instagram page. And on the comments on there, someone goes, cut the husband out of the equation and marry his mistress. There's another comment. Finally, a woman who blames the husband and not the other woman. Yeah, both women sound lovely and I hope they move on from this. What a badass. The op is amazing. Well, that was my initial thought before you. Don't let me. Don't let me influence you. Don't let me. Don't worry about sweetheart. I mean, you don't worry about it. You brought up the eight months and now it's hard to not wonder. But you know, maybe she was saving money. Maybe she's a stay at home mom and needed to pool some resources and you know, get her eggs in a basket. Maybe, you know, there's medical things and she needed his health insurance because of work. We don't know. That's true. There's so many reasons. But it, it was just very impressive to me that she did wait eight months because I would go crazy. I'm like, are you still romantic though? And then like, you would have to be, otherwise he's gonna be like, what's up? Or he doesn't notice because he's getting it elsewhere. And then he's just like, oh well, we had a dead bedroom anyways. Yeah, I know. So. Interesting. Very interesting. Okay, if you want more of that, I'll see you over on Patreon. Other than that, until next time.

[James Murray Murr]

Bye. Sa.