Two Hot Takes – Episode 259: “A Rare Breed...”
Host: Morgan Absher
Date: March 12, 2026
Co-Host: Lauren
Theme: Exploring “rare breed” personalities through wild Reddit threads, relationship dilemmas, and offbeat life stories.
Episode Overview
In this episode of Two Hot Takes, Morgan Absher and returning co-host Lauren dive into a curated batch of the internet’s most jaw-dropping and quirky stories, all centered on the theme of “rare breeds.” From bizarre dating habits and petty relationship tests to wild acts of jealousy, the hosts serve up hot takes on people who are truly “in a league of their own.” The episode blends humor with deeper discussions on health, trust, self-worth, family dysfunction, and mental health, all while maintaining the show’s signature banter and relatability.
Main Topics & Key Insights
1. Colon Cancer Awareness and a Life-Saving Reddit Post
[09:24 – 20:17]
Story Summary
- Morgan shares a poignant Reddit story: a young man ignored bright red blood in his stool for years, assuming it was just hemorrhoids (not a rare breed story but included for its importance during Colon Cancer Awareness Month).
- Eventually, he’s diagnosed with an aggressive, rare colon cancer; he undergoes surgery and chemo, and five years later, posts an update that he’s cancer-free and married.
- Morgan highlights early detection and the importance of discussing symptoms with loved ones.
Key Quotes
"If you have blood in your stool, you more than likely do not have colon cancer. But you should get yourself checked by a doctor."
— Reddit OP, as read by Morgan ([09:33])
"There's no experience that will make you realize how precious life is than genuinely thinking you will die soon."
— Reddit OP’s update ([16:37])
"Sometimes, you need the reminder that this dumb, silly podcast could actually change lives."
— Lauren ([18:02])
Takeaways
- Advocating for self-advocacy in health and breaking the taboo on “embarrassing” medical symptoms.
- When the podcast platform can make a real-world difference.
2. The Baby Voice Boyfriend
[21:16 – 35:48]
Story Summary
- A woman is dating a man who increasingly talks in a baby voice—first just to her cat, but then during intimacy, even after sex, and up to 75% of the time.
- She confronts him; he nervously blames Xanax and melatonin for being "loopy," but she’s unconvinced.
- Is this a harmless quirk or a red flag worthy of a breakup?
Key Quotes
"Even when hooking up after we were done, he asked me if I orgasmed... in a baby voice: 'Am I a big boy?'"
— Morgan quoting Reddit OP ([23:13])
"I think there's nothing wrong in being like, 'I’m gonna be honest, I think you’re so attractive. But the baby voice makes me not in the mood.'"
— Lauren ([26:56])
Notable Discussion Points
- When “icks” are genuine incompatibilities.
- How to approach weird, non-harmful but off-putting habits in a new relationship.
- The importance of communication, boundaries, and gauging response to feedback.
3. The Mug-Peeing Partner
[37:52 – 47:22]
Story Summary
- A woman’s partner pees in a coffee mug in the kitchen because he “couldn’t make it upstairs,” then laughs it off, flips it on her when she’s disgusted, and accuses her of "ruining his weekend."
- The hosts debate normalcy, hygiene boundaries, and emotional manipulation in relationships.
Key Quotes
"You pick up a coffee cup that has coffee in it... was it hers that she was drinking?"
— Morgan ([41:28])
"It's a pretty normal thing to be grossed out by."
— Lauren ([41:18])
Takeaways
- Bodily fluid boundaries are valid.
- Gaslighting and deflecting responsibility is a bigger issue than the act itself.
4. The 8-Year Coffee Lie
[48:52 – 56:58]
Story Summary
- A husband “accidentally” gives his wife dark roast coffee for 8 years despite her insisting she only likes light roast. She finally discovers the truth.
- Debate ensues: Is this harmless, or a breach of trust—even if the “victim” was happy all along?
Key Quotes
"No one likes feeling like they're getting like bamboozled, for like, specifically eight years."
— Lauren ([51:25])
"She sent back coffee at restaurants for being too dark while drinking dark roast at home every morning for eight years. That's not a taste preference. That's a belief system."
— Reddit comment, as read by Morgan ([53:39])
Takeaways
- The power of expectation and bias in our preferences.
- Lying by omission can still wound trust, however minor the topic.
5. The “Gold Digger” Fiancée Test
[58:47 – 77:03 & 77:12 – 77:45]
Story Summary
- A woman learns her fiancé’s entire family has secretly “tested” her for nearly a year by faking financial hardship to see if she’s a gold digger, only telling her after she “passed.”
- She feels manipulated and humiliated; he’s initially oblivious to the issue, but after reading her Reddit post and reader comments, he realizes the situation’s toxicity.
- She calls off the wedding to focus on herself and encourages her ex-fiancé to work on his relationship with his family.
Key Quotes
"In their effort to prove you are a morally decent person, they proved that they are not."
— Reddit comment, as read by Morgan ([70:21])
"Even though my fiancé was very remorseful and apologetic, I told him I want to call off our wedding and take a break from our relationship."
— Reddit OP update ([76:44])
Notable Discussion Points
- The long-term impact of manipulative “tests” in relationships.
- Individual versus generational dysfunction.
- The importance of therapy, boundaries, and self-worth.
6. The Jealous Second Wife & Social Media Sabotage
[80:45 – 93:29]
Story Summary
- A man’s ex-wife is happily engaged to a millionaire, and his current wife (the woman he cheated with) becomes obsessed, stalks the fiancé, and even sends him nudes in an attempt to “humble” the ex.
- The husband realizes both his and his wife’s deep regrets and unhealthy behaviors; he ultimately chooses to divorce her.
Key Quotes
"How does a person become like this horrific?"
— Lauren ([84:27])
"She still believes she could take him if she wanted… She doesn't consider what she did cheating. It was a test."
— Morgan reading Reddit OP’s wife ([92:32])
Takeaways
- Obsessive, competitive jealousy can escalate to self-destructive and predatory behavior.
- Sometimes people hold onto toxic relationships out of self-punishment and shame.
7. Reflections on Mental Health, Mistakes and Healing
[93:29 – 101:17]
- Both hosts reflect on cycles of regret, shame, and negative self-talk after making mistakes.
- Stress the importance of self-forgiveness, growth, and accessing support systems like therapy, Emotions Anonymous, or similar groups.
- The hosts openly discuss their struggles with mental health, panic attacks, and the burden of perfectionism.
Key Quotes
"Everyone’s flawed. That’s what’s so beautiful about being a human—it’s our ability to make mistakes, learn, and grow from them."
— Morgan ([94:21])
"You don’t deserve to hold that angst."
— Lauren ([97:01])
8. Lighthearted Finish: Revenge of the Stand-Up Hookup
[104:27 – 109:49]
Story Summary
- For comic relief, Morgan reads a Today I Fucked Up (TIFU) story: a man’s one-night stand turns his quirks (awkward dirty talk, farting, weird hand gestures during sex) into a viral stand-up routine, and his friends send him the clip.
- Hosts joke about needing a little humility and the hazards of accidentally sleeping with comedians.
Key Quotes
"I think every man needs this experience. They need to be humbled."
— Lauren ([107:29])
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
“We are rare breeds. We fit right along with these people today.”
— Morgan, tying the hosts’ own quirks to the rare breed theme ([06:16]) -
On relationship icks:
“I don’t really like men’s feet in the thong-type sandals—the flip flops… and when they squeak and they’re wet and it’s a dude... I don’t know.”
— Morgan ([35:52])
- On boundaries:
“Bodily fluids. Not where they… not in the waste or inside you. Anywhere in between freaks me out.”
— Lauren ([36:47])
Segment Timestamps
- Health & Colon Cancer Awareness: 09:24 – 20:17
- Baby Voice Boyfriend Story: 21:16 – 35:48
- Mug-Peeing Partner Story: 37:52 – 47:22
- Coffee Roast Deception: 48:52 – 56:58
- Gold Digger Engagement Test: 58:47 – 77:03 (story, with updates at 77:12 – 77:45)
- Jealous Second Wife Sabotage: 80:45 – 93:29
- Reflection on Mental Health & Mistakes: 93:29 – 101:17
- Light/Funny Story – Stand-Up Hookup: 104:27 – 109:49
Final Thoughts & Episode Tone
This episode offers a balanced blend of outrageous internet tales and honest, introspective conversation. Morgan and Lauren poke fun at absurd behaviors, but never shy from the serious takeaways about boundaries, trust, and growth—especially around issues of health, communication, family dynamics, and self-forgiveness. The recurring “rare breed” theme cleverly frames each story, reminding listeners that everyone’s a little weird, and that’s what makes life (and podcasts) entertaining and meaningful.
For more stories or to share your own, visit the Two Hot Takes subreddit or Instagram @TwoHotTakes.