260: True Colors Came Out! Ft. DJ X

Summary

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Two Hot Takes - Episode 260: "True Colors Came Out!" Ft. DJ X (Xavier Jernigan)

Released: March 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and insightful episode, host Morgan Absher welcomes Xavier Jernigan, widely known as DJ X—the real human voice and soul behind Spotify's AI DJ. With a reputation for empathy, warmth, and an impressive resume in music, culture, and broadcasting, DJ X joins Morgan to deliver candid takes on wild Reddit tales and listener submissions about relationships, etiquette, and personal boundaries. Their candid, humorous, and heartfelt discussions highlight true colors—be it in friends, partners, or even one's family—when people are tested or under pressure.

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Key Discussion Points

1. The Parasocial Effect & DJ X's Rise to Fame (01:36–08:50)

• DJ X recounts his journey from Spotify’s human editorial curation to being called "the Voice of Spotify" and eventually the widely-recognized AI DJ.
• He shares what it's like to be recognized for his voice:

  “Every time you press that button, I’m a part of your life. You’re inviting me in.” (03:30, DJ X)

• Morgan and DJ X discuss the intimacy and uniqueness of audio celebrity, emphasizing how listeners feel personally connected to them.
• DJ X shares impressive stats about the AI DJ:

  “90 million people have engaged with AI DJ driving 4 billion hours of listening.” (04:02, DJ X)

• On self-care and burnout: DJ X stresses the importance of maintaining balance after “two years, 400 episodes” of a daily morning show that left him sleep-deprived (09:13–10:01).

  “It took me a year and a half to not be sleep deprived after I left the show.” (09:51, DJ X)

• Empathy, kindness, and being “a light outside of church” are central to his ethos.

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2. Reddit Story #1: "Am I the Jerk for Walking Out After My Girlfriend Tested Me?" (13:00–21:27)

Situation: A man’s girlfriend arranges for a friend to flirt with him at dinner to "test" his loyalty. He passes, but is humiliated and walks out.

DJ X’s Take (14:16–20:00)

• Testing in relationships is "childish" and "unnecessary":

  “What are we, in high school? Even in high school I wouldn’t like that.” (16:22, DJ X)

• Walking out mid-date is “jerkish” if it leaves your partner stranded; safety and “common respect” matter.

  “Even if the date is terrible, I’m seeing you home.” (16:40, DJ X)

• Feelings are valid, but expression matters:

  “Your perspective may be the most important in your world. Doesn’t mean it’s the most important in the world.” (17:41, DJ X)

Morgan’s Insight: Relationship “tests” signal deep trust issues and should be a red flag. Instead of games, open communication and respect should be the basis.

Memorable Moment

• DJ X and Morgan riff on declining dating etiquette, wishing for a return to basics like “making sure your date gets in the door” — and Morgan jokes about teens “tuck and roll"-ing out of cars now (19:04).

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3. Reddit Story #2: "Would I Be the Asshole for Suing My Friend Who Skipped My Wedding?" (22:00–30:49)

Situation: OP flies a longtime friend to a lavish Bali wedding, only for the friend to use it as a personal vacation and skip the event.

Key Points

• Both Morgan & DJ X agree this is a profound betrayal—“Get your money. That was crazy.” (23:41, DJ X)
• The friend’s action is dubbed “incredibly generous” of OP, while Gemma’s behavior is “out of control.” (25:23)
• But: DJ X notes the potential legal issue: since travel was given as a gift (with video evidence of the reveal), a lawsuit likely won't succeed:

  “Judge Judy would say it was a gift... you’re not going to win, but the energy around suing her, I’m all for.” (27:39)

• Realization: some friendships aren’t worth the investment, and breakups with friends can be as painful as with romantic partners.

Personal Anecdote

• Both hosts recount stories of friends ghosting in tough times; Xavier’s tale of a friend disappearing during his family’s crisis is particularly poignant (33:08–35:35).

  “He never actually explained... There wasn’t a reason.” (35:39, DJ X)

• Main lesson: “When a person shows you they’re not your friend, you gotta listen, as painful as that may be.” (30:49)

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4. Reddit Story #3: "Am I Overreacting? Rethinking My Engagement After She Ignored Me While I Was Sick" (37:35–50:57)

Situation: OP, just back from travel, is bedridden, severely ill, and asks his fiancée to get medicine—she delays for five hours to socialize instead.

DJ X’s Take (40:19–50:57)

• “I wouldn’t marry this person. The beauty here is she’s showing you who she really is.” (41:21)
• Morgan highlights that marriage vows include “in sickness and in health”—and the story proves the partner is not up for that.
• The co-hosts explore both the “man cold” trope and the seriousness of truly failing to care for an ill partner.
• DJ X explains: “We never know what life will throw at us...If I don’t feel like the person can hold me down when I can’t, I can’t marry her.” (50:56)
• Both agree: some things are dealbreakers, and it’s better to find out now than after a wedding.

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5. Reddit Story #4: "I Just Heard What My Partner’s Family Really Thought About Me" (57:10–72:21)

Situation: OP’s partner listens to secretly recorded family conversations—OP overhears the family making classist, cruel remarks about her and her child.

Key Points

• Both hosts react with shock at the family’s audacity and repetition of classist, demeaning comments:

  “They don’t like you... genuinely. They don’t like anything about her.” (64:21, DJ X)

• Morgan and DJ X question how a partner can defend or “sweep under the rug” such behavior.
• DJ X stresses: “We gotta be careful what we say about our partners to our families...A lot of that could’ve been based on stuff [the partner] said.” (67:17)
• If the partner 'gets off' on her family not liking OP, “you gotta go.” (68:38)
• Advice: Seek therapy to process the pain, and don’t settle for a relationship where your partner’s family is cruel and your partner doesn’t stand up for you.

  “You can do bad all by yourself. This ain’t it.” (71:53, DJ X)

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6. Reddit Story #5: "Boyfriend Won't Go to Secretive Family Initiation Party" (72:24–87:37)

Situation: OP’s family has a secretive tradition: for 40 years, significant others attend odd “initiation” parties alone, with strict rules (four events max before it’s the other partner’s turn; over 40s not allowed). After three months of dating, OP’s boyfriend refuses to attend.

Highlights

• The hosts find the tradition bizarre and cult-like:

  “It gives cult...vampire vibes...your partner may never be seen again!” (76:11, 76:07, DJ X)

• They reference horror movies ("Get Out," "Hide and Seek," "Midsommar") to illustrate just how off-putting the set-up is.
• Morgan: "Why do people have to be exclusive instead of inclusive?"
• Host consensus: Hard pass. “If there’s no guarantee you’re coming back alive, I can’t do it.” (86:26)
• Listeners in Switzerland are invited to comment if they know of similar traditions.

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7. FUN STORY: "I Met Dolly Parton, and She Farted In Front of Me" (90:25–96:15)

Situation: A fan's lighthearted tale of meeting Dolly Parton at a signing where she, very humanly, farted and cracked a series of jokes about it.

Notable Quotes:

• Dolly:

  “Sorry, I was holding that in the whole show...What’s the matter, can’t handle a little Tennessee Thunder?...I’ll make sure it’s in the key of G next time.”

• Morgan and DJ X agree that meeting one’s heroes can be risky, but sometimes it’s magical—Dolly Parton “delivered.”

On Meeting Fans:

• Both hosts share that their fans recognize them by voice; DJ X is frequently asked for a hug or a quick intro for someone’s playlist.

  “Say what’s up! And this is what I do—I never take on the attitude that I’m too cool to say hi to someone who’s created something I appreciate.” (99:04, DJ X)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Real Friendship:

  “When a person shows you or tells you they’re not your friend, you gotta listen...Otherwise, you just extend you getting hurt.” (30:49, DJ X)

• On Boundaries:

  “Feelings are valid. Doesn’t mean your feelings are always right.” (17:41, DJ X)

• On Relationship Red Flags:

  “Some things are irreparable. I can’t unring the bell.” (63:45, Morgan)

• On Judgmental Families:

  “I’ve never in my life had the thought pass through my mind that someone’s beneath me. The concept is so crazy.” (69:55, DJ X)

• On Fan Encounters:

  “If you see me, say hi! Don’t be weird, but say hi.” (96:01, DJ X)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------|-------------| | Intro/Ads End | 01:36 | | DJ X’s Spotify journey | 01:36–08:50 | | Dangers of burnout/self-care | 09:00–10:29 | | Reddit Story 1: Testing Partner | 13:00–21:27 | | Reddit Story 2: Wedding Betrayal | 22:00–30:49 | | Friendship lessons | 30:49–35:39 | | Reddit Story 3: Sick & Ignored | 37:35–50:57 | | Reddit Story 4: Family Hearsay | 57:10–72:21 | | Reddit Story 5: Cult Initiation | 72:24–87:37 | | Dolly Parton Fart Story | 90:25–96:15 | | Meeting fans/parasociality | 94:24–99:20 | | Reflection & Gratitude | 100:07–103:32 |

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Listener Interactivity

• Polls & Comments: Morgan and DJ X repeatedly urge listeners to share their own experiences and vote in Spotify’s polls, especially on topics like relationship “tests,” family drama, and meeting celebrities.
• Global Reach: OPs and listeners from Switzerland and other countries are encouraged to weigh in on cultural traditions discussed.

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Tone & Energy

This episode balances humor, empathy, honesty, and a friendly “real talk” approach. Morgan and DJ X foster a safe space for hot takes, thoughtful debate, and mutual support, making it engaging for fans and newcomers alike.

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If you missed this episode, here’s what you need to know: Expect enlightening stories, true friend/partner tests, facepalms at wild Reddit drama, reflection on what healthy respect looks like—in partnerships, friendships, and self-worth—and an unforgettable anecdote about Dolly Parton's "Tennessee Thunder."

Don’t forget: “When people show you who they are, believe them.” And—as Morgan and DJ X say—always say hi if you see them in public!

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Transcript

[Morgan]

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[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

They're awesome.

[Morgan]

Literally, I had three drinks yesterday and she's noticing my cup, like, and I just like more.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, you know, they're very attentive. They're. They're genuinely good people.

[Morgan]

The best.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I. I really like them. Like, we hire people that are just like genuinely good souls.

[Morgan]

You.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Me. Well, thank you.

[Morgan]

You have made me becoming a part of the Spotify family. Like, so fun, so easy. Thank you. Like, you have. From the first time I met you at like some random little event. Yeah, you're just. You're such a bright, warm, comforting soul.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That means a lot to me. Oh, and you're just so friendly and you're just so.

[Morgan]

I'm so shy though, which is.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Is that right?

[Morgan]

Y.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But you know what? You've never been that way with me.

[Morgan]

Because you are you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Thank you. That means a lot. Like, I instantly considered you a friend.

[Morgan]

I appreciate that.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, we were talking. We were like, maybe five minutes in, and I'm like, we're friends.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And we, like, exchanged info, and we were just like, okay.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

We're cool.

[Morgan]

It's so cool. I'm just so, so, so excited to have you today. People listening are going to be like, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. This is.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I know this voice.

[Morgan]

I know this voice. That's my dj.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's my dj. Your dj? My DJ too. Cause I listen to it too.

[Morgan]

You listen to your own voice.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's DJ X. Oh, absolutely. I'm in the top 1% of AI DJ listeners.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes.

[Morgan]

If you have not had the pleasure of hearing this voice before, I'm joined today by Xavier Jernigan. Yes. AKA DJX in the building.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm a real person. If you didn't know where you been, where you been? But they can get to know me a little better now. You know, people connect with me because they feel like I know them. It's an interesting type of celebrity.

[Morgan]

Ooh.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Because unlike other types of celebrity, you feel like you know that person for that thing they do.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

She's a basketball player. She's in a movie. He's your host of two hot takes. They feel like they know you from your takes and being a part of this family. But the differences with DJ X aidj is people feel like I know them and it's such an intimate experience because every time you press that button, I'm a part of your life. You're inviting me into your life, and I'm always there.

[Morgan]

Well, you have to think about how much time people are spending listening to music.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

Listening to podcasts, driving. Some people have two hour commutes. One way to work.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yo, Morgan. We put out the number the other day for the first time. We never released it publicly, but we did. 90 million people have engaged with AI DJ driving. 4 billion hours of listening. 4 billion.

[Morgan]

How many years is that? Did they give you that math?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I should have did. I should have, like, broke it down. I was thinking about that, too.

[Morgan]

That blows my mind. Four billion.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's insane the amount of people that use it. Listen to me, hear my voice. You know, I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating, and do you notice people's

[Morgan]

head kind of turning around? I do.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I do.

[Morgan]

I know that voice.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And at some point, this is what happens. A server will come By. And it's not always my server. A server will come by, and this is when I know what's going down. They'll just say, I don't wanna be weird, but are you DJ X? And then they're like, yeah, everybody in the back. We were all like, Googling. And we were like, yeah, that's him.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's so endearing. People turn into little kids. Like, you know, it's little kids that love it. You know, grandmas and mothers and everybody in between. And everybody turns into a little kid when they meet me. Celebrity. Other celebrities. It's crazy. It's been a craz. I love it.

[Morgan]

It really has been. Cause you started out as, like, head of cultural partnerships.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay. Look at you doing your research.

[Morgan]

Oh, no, I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And you listen. So, yeah, so I started out as the head of North America for our music editorial team. So our human curators that make the human editorial playlist. Right. So I headed up that team, and then I created the cultural partnerships team. And that team did all what we call cultural curation. So the playlists, like, partnerships with Netflix and Disney and playlists around gaming and sporting events and holidays. So I created that entire workflow, and then I became the head of cultural partnerships. And then I started getting asked to host things. Now I did hosting outside of Spotify. You know when something's meant for you and you know this from your show and what's happening with your show Absolutely blowing up. By the way, number 35, I was

[Morgan]

having a moment thanks to these guys.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Number 35. The last time I looked, hey, yeah, like you telling you we gonna push that up. But when something's meant for you and you're meant to do something, it will find you. And we started getting into podcasting, podcasts here at Spotify. And I got asked to host one because they liked the way that I spoke about music and culture and, oh, TV and film and all of that. And I hosted season two of this podcast called Showstopper, about the memorable music moments in TV shows and film. And it, like, got a lot of good reviews. It was like a slow burn type thing. Like, we did episodes around Insecure and Baby Driver, and I had a Spike Lee episode, and it was really cool.

[Morgan]

That's cool.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And then it went from there to another show. So can you host this? We have this event over here, and we're gonna do this thing in Amsterdam X. Can you host it? And internally, Morgan, people would say, like, my fellow coworkers would say, you know, you're really the Voice of Spotify. And then aidj comes along and, like, look at me now.

[Morgan]

Look at you now.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Oh, so crazy. I just. I love, love, love you. Your voice.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Thank you, Morgan.

[Morgan]

I am just blown away because, like, you hear all this, you guys, and you're just like, what hasn't this guy done? You've lived so many lives. And, like, I met your friend at dinner a couple weeks ago. I was like, you worked at that record label. You worked with her. And so. And I was just like, blown away.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But valedictorian of college.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Valedictorian. Nyu. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Which insane. You're also a deacon.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm an ordained deacon.

[Morgan]

Which. Do you marry people? Like, what do you do?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I can. I can marry people. I do. Like, I come in and speak in different parts of service, whether it be the congregational prayer or, you know, if it's the offertory time. I'll talk about giving and the point of giving and why we're giving and what that's really about. And, you know, you being blessed and you're blessed to be a blessing to somebody else. So I'll share those kinds of things. But I pray for people and lead different parts of service. I'm gone a lot physically, because I'm always somewhere else. You know, usually when we're hanging out,

[Morgan]

we're in some part of the world, a different city.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Different city, different part of the world, which is pretty awesome.

[Morgan]

I wake up and I pinch myself every day.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, it's never lost on me, ever.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And I remind myself, like, no matter how busy it gets, just make sure I'm balanced, make sure I take care of self. So sometimes that means I can't physically be in church the way I used to be. But I do believe that all of this other stuff is happening around my career so I can be a light outside of, like, church settings. That's what we need anyway.

[Morgan]

You're so balanced. I just feel like you just give guru energy. Like, just.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I like that.

[Morgan]

You really do. And I'm like, I gotta pick your brain about how to deal with burnout.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, we should talk about. No, for real. We should talk about that. So the last show that I hosted was a daily podcast some. Some of you may remember called the Get Up. It was Monday through Friday. It was Spotify's morning show. It was our official morning show.

[Morgan]

Wow.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And I was the lead host on that. And I had a couple. Couple co hosts with me. And that was two years. We did 400 episodes. Two years. It was Monday through Friday. And even if it was a holiday, we would prerecord. So we wanted our listeners to never go without an episode. So I was never off. And our. My call time was 4:30am Eastern.

[Morgan]

I'm just sick over that.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It was, it was.

[Morgan]

I'm nauseous.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm gonna tell you the truth. 3:00am no, I'll tell you the truth, Morgan. It took me two years, I don't know about a year and a half to not be sleep deprived after I left the show. After we wrapped the show up.

[Morgan]

Oh my God.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It took a year and a half for my body to regulate. So now I'm extra serious about balance and self care and. Cause it'll age you if you're not careful.

[Morgan]

I know. It's just stress. Stress kills.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Stress kills.

[Morgan]

That's real. It's not good for you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Not at.

[Morgan]

Okay, well, you've been through some stuff.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You're well rounded person. I think you're gonna have some good takes on today's stories.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm excited.

[Morgan]

I found just a wide variety of chaos and just weird dilemmas people are having. And you always approach things from a very empathetic just kind of take. So I think you're gonna be really good.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I think we're gonna have some fun. We're gonna get loose. We gonna get loose.

[Morgan]

Let's do it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm always telling you the truth. That's the thing. I'm always telling you the truth.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So we gonna get into it.

[Morgan]

Let's dive in.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm excited and I listen to the show by the way. I am. I know you know this, but I want the listeners to know you're with a fellow listener.

[Morgan]

So he's not bullshitting you guys.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Pizza socks.

[Morgan]

Oh my gosh. Who does this remind you of? You guys sharing the sock game.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Sharing the sock game.

[Morgan]

Father knows.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Father knows. So I got the socks on. I'm comfy. DJ socks. If you can't see the details for djx, let's get it.

[Morgan]

It's you. It's you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's so me.

[Morgan]

Sam. This episode is presented by Duluth Trading Company Number one in garden dig into spring gardening wearing Duluth Trading's five star garden wear. They're dirt and debris deflecting moisture wicking and have 50 plus sun protection for long days in the rays. And their heirloom gardening overalls are made from super stretchy durable rip stop nylon and loaded with 12 pockets plus plus knee pad pockets for extra comfort. Short overalls overall dress over shirt and pants are all new to the collection. Too. So Whether you have one garden bed or 100 acres, there's garden wear for every green thumb [e-mail] or in store today. Do you know how many people I've seen caption their Instagram posts dressing up in case my aidj sees me today?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I saw a couple of those.

[Morgan]

One was from an Olympian.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, I messaged her back. It was so awesome. I was just like.

[Morgan]

Like, we need to make a connection happen.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So I sent her a nice message saying, like, you know, wish I was there and looking forward to meeting you irl. So keep dressing up in case we meet in real life, because I do want to meet you irl. You know what I mean? We keep it fly. So keep dressing up, but keep it fly at all times. Morgan, you know I don't play about my fashion.

[Morgan]

You do not.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You don't either, though.

[Morgan]

I have my days. You see me on my best ones.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Good.

[Morgan]

I'm always dressed up when you see me. Otherwise, it's leggings and a big T shir.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm not mad at that.

[Morgan]

This first story I've got for you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay, let's hear it.

[Morgan]

It's coming from R. Am I the jerk? So this person says, am I the jerk for walking out of dinner after my girlfriend tested me.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Test. Does it go into detail of testing her? I want. I want to hear more. Okay. I'm intrigued.

[Morgan]

I, 29, male, have been dating my girlfriend, 28 female, for eight months. She's really in a social media and relationship Tess, which I've always found kind of cringe, but harmless.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Last night, we went out to dinner. Halfway through the meal, a woman came up to our table, flirted with me, and then asked for my number. I immediately said no and told her I was there with my girlfriend.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

After the woman left, my girlfriend started laughing and told me it was her friend and she wanted to see how I would react. She said that I passed, so I shouldn't be mad, but I was pissed. I told her that that was humiliating and manipulative. Yeah, I don't want to be tested like I'm on some reality show.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right.

[Morgan]

She said I was overreacting and that other guys would have found it funny. I paid for my food, left, and went home. Now she says that I embarrassed her and made a big deal of nothing. Am I the jerk for walking out?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, I like this one. This is a good one to start on. Okay, so first of all, all that testing stuff. Don't do it. Stop playing games. It's not Necessary. What are you trying to prove? He passed the test. And then what? Congratulations, you. We get to continue having a nice dinner.

[Morgan]

It's awkward now.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's awkward now. It's weird. I don't know what's real with you.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You know what I'm saying? Like, the person came up, which would be crazy rude, by the way, for somebody to come up in the middle of you sitting with. You know what I mean? Like, you're obviously on a date.

[Morgan]

On a date. Or like, just, like, you don't know me and, like, you're gonna come up in five seconds while I'm having an intimate conversation or at least dinner with someone, like, could be anyone. It's still rude.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly. That's crazy rude. So that person's the jerk for even agreeing to do that for your friend? I know. They think they're like, ride or die. And being a good friend, that's actually not being a good friend. Now let's get to. Is he a jerk for walking out? I wouldn't have taken it so far to walk out in the middle of dinner. I would have finished dinner. I would have expressed how I felt about it. I think what he said up to that point was cool. But you don't have to embarrass her. I can. I understand that she was embarrassed. Did he leave her sitting at the table? Like, just put money on the table and then just, like, leave? Like. Like. Cause it's. You know what I mean?

[Morgan]

Yeah. Like, how dramatic was his.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, like, if he just, like, that's it. And you just drop, you know, whatever the, you know, cash is on a table and you just walk up and leave and then you get your. I don't know if y' rode there together. Did you meet there together? All those details matter. So did you get an Uber and you, like, get your own Uber or.

[Morgan]

That's a really good point.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You know what I'm saying? So those details matter if they were through the meal.

[Morgan]

So I mean, he just says, I paid for my food, left my food. There's no. I mean, above. It does say halfway through the meal, someone came to the table.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So halfway through the meal.

[Morgan]

Okay, so he could have been still eating. And then this happened. You passed the test. And then he was like, I'm done.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You're like, I just. I'm gonna roll out.

[Morgan]

But they've been dating together for eight months, so they probably did go there together. Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So if he left her there, that part of it is jerkish now. She set everything off in a way that was just unnecessary and childish. That's childish. Like, come on, what are we doing? What are we in high school? Even in high school, I wouldn't like that. Like, let's not do that.

[Morgan]

No.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You can't leave her, though. And I just say this, like, this may sound old school or traditional. I'm big on seeing your date home. Even if the date is a terrible date, I'm seeing you home. I'm gonna make sure you get inside. Even if I'm angry with you or upset or something went left, I'm gonna make sure. Like, you know, I live in New York. You gotta get them home. And even if you make the Uber wait, the Uber driver has to wait until she walks in and the door closes behind her.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So you gotta see her home safely. And if you didn't do that, that part is jerkish. But I get where you're coming from.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

As to why he's angry.

[Morgan]

Feelings are so valid. They are so valid. But, yeah. I think you could have just, like, had that conversation been like, that's not okay.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I don't appreciate it. I don't want to have these tests going forward. And you know what, Sue? Let's wrap this up. Like, I'm kind of over this now.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's how you express the feelings, too, right? Like, it's a couple things about feelings. Right?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You have a right to your feelings. It also doesn't mean your feelings are always right. Your perspective may be the most important perspective in your world. It doesn't mean it's the most important perspective in the world.

[Morgan]

Right. For sure.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So I get his perspective, his anger. I absolutely would have felt that was a jerk move on her part. I would have been mad about it. I would not have left her there. I would have expressed it. Even if, like, we go in a silent mode, not, like, really silent treatment. It's just, like, it's awkward now, like you said, Morgan. Yeah. I don't got much to say now. I'm still gonna make sure you get home.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And I appreciate that because I don't think that's common courtesy anymore.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right.

[Morgan]

And I think, like, the younger generations, like, when I was in high school, like, my high school boyfriends were pretty with it, and they would, you know, I'd get out of the car and I don't know if I ever got walked up to the door.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, that's very traditional. And I wish that was still a thing, but they would at least sit in their car and watch and make sure I got in the house you got to.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

At the very least, you got to.

[Morgan]

Kids aren't doing that nowadays. Justin has step siblings that are like 15, 16, 18. And when the girl was in high school and had, you know, her first boyfriend is going on these dates, he'd drop her off and peel away.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I know.

[Morgan]

He wouldn't even pull in the driveway.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So in the front, like on the curb, it's like a rolling stoplight.

[Morgan]

Like, jump, jump out. Tuck and roll, girl.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like one battle after another. Like, go now. Courage.

[Morgan]

You don't respect me at all. Like, just respect.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's common respect. And what happened to safety and not making assumptions that people make it inside?

[Morgan]

What if she can't find her keys? She's locked down.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly. These things. These things happen. Or her phone died and then you. She can't reach you.

[Morgan]

Yeah, she's got a smart lock. She can't get in, can't reach you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Anything can happen. Make sure your date gets in their home, period.

[Morgan]

I know. I feel like we need like a common etiquette course again.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

We do. Maybe we should work on that.

[Morgan]

Yeah. We've lost a little bit of that.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I think we have. And it's a sad thing.

[Morgan]

I know. Everyone can chime in, like, give us some other ones we can add to the list. You should make a list for people of just like, make sure your date gets in the door.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Don't drive away.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly. If you're mad at dinner, don't just slap money down on the table and leave them there and run.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Eight months, two together, it's like, yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

They probably came together.

[Morgan]

Right? Yeah. Top comment on this one. Nope. That is immature. You want a life partner, not a child who play games.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Can't argue with that.

[Morgan]

Op. Our writer does respond. You're right. This breaks me feeling this way.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm sad for them.

[Morgan]

I know. I don't understand relationship test. Cuz it's like if you're. Me neither. If you don't trust your person to where you feel you need to do them, I think that's kind of a red flag for you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right. Like, right, Right. If you have to test it. Like, let's go field test this feel. I have a feeling that I can't trust him or trust her. Trust them. And you feel like you have to actually have it acted out. Like a reenactment made. Like that's crazy.

[Morgan]

Like Instagram DMs, I think is a big test.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like there's girls that like, I've seen on TikTok, literally get paid to message other people's boyfriends.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Just slide in the DMs and then see what they'll respond.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Can you test my partner?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This is why I don't even check DMs. Fun fact about me, really. True story. I don't even. I don't even look too dangerous. It's too dangerous. It's just a minefield.

[Morgan]

And you never know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You never know. I'm gonna just have to. Yeah, I don't do it.

[Morgan]

No other updates on this post. No other comments from op. That's all we got.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I want to. I want to hear from the audience. I want to hear from the listeners.

[Morgan]

What do you want to. What do you want to pull them on? We've got polls on Spotify. You know, I can add them.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, that's the poll.

[Morgan]

But you only get one poll per episode.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay. So let's wait. I don't know if.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I know. There might be something.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You got a lot of chaos coming up.

[Morgan]

I know. We got to tell the megaphone, the team.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Like, can we ask multiple polls, please?

[Morgan]

Yeah. What are we doing?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, you can have more than one.

[Morgan]

I think I know someone I could ask.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, I think so, too. We know a couple people.

[Morgan]

We have some friends. Okay, this next one is coming from. Am I the asshole?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

It's only 16 hours old right now.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, fresh.

[Morgan]

Really fresh. It's titled. Would I be the asshole for suing my friend when she didn't come to my wedding?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Wait, wait. Suing? Like litigation? Like, we going to court?

[Morgan]

Taking her to court now was money.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Were there monies spent on that person? Okay, let's go.

[Morgan]

I, 25, female, recently got married to my 25 male husband in Bali, Indonesia, in January. It was a destination wedding, but my parents and his parents paid for their own plane tickets and hotel. But we paid for our friends plane tickets and hotel stays. Yeah, Each plane ticket was about $2,000 USD, yo. And hotel, maybe $150 to $300 for a week. My friend Gemma brought along her newlywed husband, John, but paid for his plane ticket. The problem is that Gemma and John did not show up to my wedding.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No.

[Morgan]

Gemma took the free plane ticket to Bali and the hotel room. And when I asked her why she didn't show up, she said since they couldn't afford their own honeymoon, this was the perfect opportunity. And Jim decided that he didn't feel like going. I was really hurt by this. Since Gemma and I have been friends for over 10 years.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Stop playing.

[Morgan]

Would I be the asshole if I took her to small claims court for the money that I spent on the plane ticket and hotel?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Get your money. That was crazy. And this is why. That's so much money. And this is the thing. It's beyond the principal. Yep. Principal's involved. But this is the thing. The money was spent. I watch a lot of Judge Judy. The money was spent. I learned something. The money was spent in anticipation of her attending the wedding. It was essentially contingent.

[Morgan]

Yes.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

If she told her, hey, I'm not going to go to your wedding, then it'd be like, oh, well, I'm not buying your plane ticket. It's to come to my wedding. She spent the money. You took the flight. So you taking the flight is you saying, I'm going to your wedding.

[Morgan]

I know you. And I wonder what type of documentation Op has. Like, does she have text messages like, hey, if you come to my wedding in Bali, I'll buy your plane ticket.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right.

[Morgan]

And then the friend is like, yeah, that sounds great.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

She's gonna need that.

[Morgan]

Like, that then, is kind of a verbal contract.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That is an agreement.

[Morgan]

And so, yeah, her not showing up.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Get your money. You're not paying for random people. And even if your friend for 10. For 10 years to just fly to Bali and just not go to your thing, that's crazy. And it was incredibly generous to pay for your friend, because I expect. I don't know about y'.

[Morgan]

All.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I don't know about you. I expect if I'm going to a destination wedding, that I'm gonna pay.

[Morgan]

Yeah. It's on you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's on me.

[Morgan]

No, this was, like, crazy generous.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So that was generous. That was thought thoughtful. That meant I want you there so bad. It's so important to me that you are at my wedding, that I'm going to put down $2,000 and pay for your hotel room for you to be there.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's crazy. Get your money.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Out of control. No, you are not.

[Morgan]

No. And I'm thinking about it. I'm like, okay. Like, I get. You didn't get to celebrate your own honeymoon.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's your problem.

[Morgan]

A wedding is one day. It's literally one day. It's an event, and you've got a whole rest of the trip you can extend in either direction. If your new husband doesn't want to go, too bad.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

That's your friend.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

You leave your husband in the hotel

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

room and you go, I totally agree.

[Morgan]

I'm just like, what a.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And to me, he would be a jerk for not going. But as the friend, you still have to go. Like, listen, listen, buddy. I'm going to this wedding. We can have our fun before, after. To your point. Yeah, but that's crazy sore. Take it to court.

[Morgan]

I would. Yeah. I mean, OP does add more, too.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, I want to hear more.

[Morgan]

This girl Gemma wasn't even in the wedding party. So OP Was like, all she had to do was show up, dance, and eat cake and food.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

She wasn't even. She didn't even have to actually do anything.

[Morgan]

No job, just have fun.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

She was out of control.

[Morgan]

Funny thing enough is that they did go on a honeymoon. It just wasn't abroad.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And this is the thing, though, that ain't. That don't have nothing to do. That has nothing to do with Oprah op Your honeymoon or the honeymoon you didn't do it has nothing to do with the next person's wedding and the next person's wedding planning. For example, if I decide I want to just go to the courthouse and get married. That has nothing to do with your plans for your wedding and you wanting me to be a part of it, Right.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So even saying all that is a whole bunch of extra stuff. It's a whole bunch of nonsense as far as I'm.

[Morgan]

I know. I would love for her to sue and get money back, but there's one comment that I think is gonna make that hard.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay, let's hear it.

[Morgan]

I made a video of me surprising her that I paid for her plane fare and printed a photo of the hotel room at Christmas. I gave it to her as a gift for Christmas as well as some other gifts.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's a gift.

[Morgan]

It's a gift. So this is the problem, the way you presented it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yep.

[Morgan]

There's no.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You're not going to be able to get the money back.

[Morgan]

I don't even think Judge Judy would.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No. Oh. Judge Judy would say it was a gift. You're basically saying, here's a trip to Bali and I'm getting married during that time. Yeah, you're not going to win. But the energy around suing her, I'm all for. You're just not going to win this case, though.

[Morgan]

I know. Well, if you did go to one of those shows, I've heard that even the losing person gets paid.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. They get, like, an appearance fee at least.

[Morgan]

So I was like, yeah. And I don't know, you get a little something. Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

They get a free. And they get a free trip.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Coming to New York or going to la.

[Morgan]

Yeah, like that. A lot of people were questioning, like, this story. How did you afford it? You're 25 and you're paying for all these people to go to Bali. And OP does share that. She signed on as a crna with a 40k bonus.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

So she used her whole signing bonus. She used her signing bonus to make this happen.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And you know what? In this. This be real. A lot of people spending money they don't have anyway. So when it's like, they're questioning her, like, how does she have this money? A lot of y' all got credit cards maxed out already.

[Morgan]

Anyway, so my brother. My brother put 40k on a credit card for his wedding.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You see what I'm saying?

[Morgan]

Yeah. And that was 2015.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, see what I mean?

[Morgan]

Like, people. You can.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So you can finance.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, Right. You can. You can do it. I don't recommend it. Don't do it.

[Morgan]

Took him forever.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

A lot of interest on.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Probably paid three times that when it was all said. At least easily. Like, easily three times that. Right.

[Morgan]

I fully think this story is real.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I do, too.

[Morgan]

I mean, it's really recent, but the Reddit account is three years old, so that also kind of shows me, like, she didn't just create this account to create a fake story. Right. It's a real account.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. She's been around.

[Morgan]

So this is a real problem.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And this is a real. This is a real problem. And you know what? That person's not your friend.

[Morgan]

Not anymore.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Y' all can't be friends.

[Morgan]

Top comment. Can't believe I'm saying this, but not the asshole. Someone offers to give you a free vacation on the condition that you attend one party during that time.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Come on.

[Morgan]

I'd be jumping at the opportunity.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Absolutely.

[Morgan]

To take a free vacation and then no call, no show to your friend's wedding is really shitty behavior on their part.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Couldn't agree more.

[Morgan]

They could have extended their stay if they wanted to treat the trip as their own honeymoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, that's so foul. That's foul.

[Morgan]

It's literally. It was probably like, hey, show up at 4. You could have gone to the ceremony and then snuck out.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes. I mean, ceremony's at four, right? You still. Seven o'. Clock.

[Morgan]

Like, get the. Get a meal out of it and

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

then go do whatever you want to do.

[Morgan]

Go to the beach.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's it.

[Morgan]

I don't know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You're not even in the wedding party.

[Morgan]

That's not crazy.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

People are selfish.

[Morgan]

I think OP is, like, coming to terms with it. As, like, sad as it is, because in the comments, she does kind of add, like, I realize I'm gonna be better off going forward.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, absolutely. You gotta listen. When a person tells you or shows you they're not your friend, you gotta listen, as painful as it may be and as hurtful as it can be. Listen to the truth, Be clear on what people are telling you and not just projecting what you want it to be, because that just means you're gonna extend you getting hurt.

[Morgan]

And that's not necessary. No. And it's so hard. And I think. I think friends, especially, we give so many chances.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

We do.

[Morgan]

Like, even more so than, like, romantic relationships.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

There's just so much, I totally agree,

[Morgan]

like, about friendships that we really, you know, we work hard for. Because, I mean, friendships are hard.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

But, gosh, like, when you wake up and you're like, I deserve to be better. And, like, you move past that friend.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

Then you have so much more room for a new person.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

Gonna treat you right. Yes. And I learned that the hard way. Like, I broke up with a friend that I literally thought would be a bridesmaid. And what happened? Oh, Bad news Bears.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Really?

[Morgan]

Yeah. Like, I flew from Minnesota to Dallas to go visit her.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I brought another one of my friends with. Yeah. And the whole entire time, like, she would ignore me. Would, like, sabotage. No. What was happening with me so she could get close to my other friend.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

What was that about?

[Morgan]

My other friend's dad works for the NHL and she wanted to get close to her, so she literally hid her phone so she couldn't reach out to me and contact me.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Are you serious?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's diabolical.

[Morgan]

It was really bad.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's crazy.

[Morgan]

So I ended up, like, leaving. I flew home early. I was like, I'm done.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, so you like, I gotta go. I'm outta here. I don't wanna be a part of this.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I, like, sat at her house by myself for almost 24 hours.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Stop.

[Morgan]

No WI fi. She didn't have WI fi at her place. And this was back, like, 20, 2015, 2016. And so shouldn't have WI fi.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So you were, like, stranded, basically.

[Morgan]

Uber wasn't a thing. Really?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No.

[Morgan]

And so I asked. I was like, hey, can I take your car to Walmart to go buy a book? She told me, no.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No.

[Morgan]

So I sat there, twiddled my thumbs, called my dad. I go, can you book me a flight?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And he did. And I left.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Shout out to dad, man.

[Morgan]

I know Daddy knows He knows. He knows a lot.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Yes.

[Morgan]

No, but, like, you live and you learn. It's like. It's the same with this person where it's a tough, expensive, really expensive lesson to learn. Like now, you know, going forward. Like, the people that did go to Bali and did show up for you, those are real ones.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I had a friend that I was really tight with in high school, early adult life, and my mom's house flooded. I'm originally from Florida. Daytona Beach. Hurricane comes or house floods. So I was here in New York working, and I couldn't get down there.

[Morgan]

And that is so stressful.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right. So that's stressful. My brother couldn't get down there. So my friends, my boys, they. Yeah, they all rallied up, went to the house because.

[Morgan]

That's your mom.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's my mom and, like, their second mom. Right. So they're pulling up carpet, taking stuff out of the house so it can get prepped to get fixed up.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Cutting out the drywall mold.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes. Cause it forms quickly, especially in Florida, because it's so hot.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Humidity.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So one of my friends, you know, I'm on the phone with him. He's like, I'm on my way. Okay, great. So I know this person's there. Da, da, da. And a couple hours later, my mom calls me, and she's like, where's so and so? He didn't get here yet. And I was like, yeah. He said he was on the way. When I talked to him a couple hours ago, I called him, no answer. So no show, no call, and never heard from him again for, like, better part of 10 years straight. Ghosted?

[Morgan]

I thought you were gonna say, like, 10 days. 10 years.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Well, then you're like, you know, a couple hours later, you're like. You're worried about him. You're like, is he good?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's exactly what I was doing.

[Morgan]

Don't do that to someone. To ghost someone like that. Yes. Just say you can't make it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Just say you can't make it. Ghost me. Ghosted my mom. Ghosted my other friends who were there helping.

[Morgan]

What?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And none of, like, our whole friend group, our friend circle, didn't hear from him. And then he reaches out, like, 10 years later, almost like, hey, what's going on? And I'm like, come on, man.

[Morgan]

What's going on?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

What's going on?

[Morgan]

So. So audacious.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Last I talked to 10 years ago, you were on your way to my mom's house.

[Morgan]

You still going there?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You still on the way.

[Morgan]

You on the way. You walking.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, okay. You still okay. You're walking when you carried the car.

[Morgan]

Oh, okay.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, good looking. We don't even live there anymore. Cause I bought her a new house, homie. Like, what do we.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. That's so.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And that was. That was hurtful.

[Morgan]

Very.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And I kind of put it aside while we had the crisis that we were dealing with. But later then, you know, when he came back or really tried to like, come back into my life, I really reflected on and I'm just like, nah, man, you don't get to do that. You. You don't get to do that. You did it to me. You did it to my. My mother and you did it to our other friends. Sorry, man. That's like, sorry, not sorry.

[Morgan]

No, no, he didn't. He didn't deserve anything after 10 years.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And Morgan, this is the thing, you know, I, you know, I asked him, like, so what happened, man? Like, for real, what happened? And he just humming and hawing. He never actually explained, like, there wasn't a reason too.

[Morgan]

Because like, you can give people grace if it's like, you know what, dude, I was in a really tough spot.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I was battling some stuff of my

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

own and I was embarrassed and I withdrew from everybody. Wasn't about.

[Morgan]

I didn't want people to see me like that. Whatever it is, then you give them some grace.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

To be with. No excuse.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, nah.

[Morgan]

Bye, bye. Bye.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

We can't do this, man.

[Morgan]

No.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And I can't catch you. I'm not catching you up on the last 10 years. A lot has happened.

[Morgan]

A lot.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Lots happened. Things are good over here.

[Morgan]

Real good.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Real good. Real good.

[Morgan]

Things are not real good for this next one.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

All right, let's do it.

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Skims. Finding good undergarments is so challenging. Whether it's a bra that doesn't provide enough coverage and I'm constantly adjusting or underwear that don't stretch enough to cover everything. Ride up, bunch pill. It can be to find the perfect fit that also makes you feel good. And last, skims is different. The fabric of the skims cotton jersey, full brief is pretty life changing. They never lose their shape, so you can wear them hundreds of times. There's so many different styles and cuts to choose from. You're going to find something that you just love. The lightweight cotton ruche hipster is when I throw on under dresses and just feel really good and comfortable in perfect combo of cute and comfortable. And that's Basically all of my favorite skims. Comfy and not just cute sexy. So whether it's bras and underwear or a box bodysuit, you really cannot go wrong with skims. Shop bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Thank you. This one is coming from R Am I overreacting? Okay, 14 hours old.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, I like them when they're fresh like this.

[Morgan]

I know. Just feels like you're in it with them.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Morgan]

Am I overreacting in rethinking my engagement after how my girlfriend treated me while sick with a bad flu? My 35 and my fiance, 32, female, have been together for four years.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

All right.

[Morgan]

Lived with each other for one year and recently engaged. We recently got back from a trip overseas for a wedding and I caught a bad flu bug. So bad that I passed out standing in the airport line. Dang. And had to be checked over by paramedics before I was allowed to keep flying. We got home late and also while walking up the stairs in our home, I basically got lightheaded and had to sit down. I finally made it to bed. While we were gone, her mom was house sitting for us and she was staying over so I had really bad diarrhea. And she knew this as while walking through the airport and on the plane I was in the bathroom every 15 minutes.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's the worst.

[Morgan]

And I told her this embarrassing fact. Yeah. The next morning my fiance woke up at around 8.30am Once she woke up, I asked her if she could go to the store and pick up some Imodium, Pepto, maybe some Sprite and Gatorade. As I was really dehydrated. Her first response was quote, do I need to go now? I get that I probably should have said yes, but I didn't want to be pushy so I was like, well you can have coffee and get ready. But I am super dehydrated and I really feel like shit and anytime I drink water, 10 minutes later I'm on the toilet again.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right?

[Morgan]

She gets up and talks with her mom about the trip, has breakfast. Around 11am her mom jumps in the shower. So I go downstairs to talk to her about going to the store. She basically snaps at me and says, quote, let me say goodbye to my mom. Why didn't you buy those at the airport yesterday? Oh no, I will go after I say goodbye to my mom. Okay. At about 12:30pm, I gave up. I sign up for Doordash. I've never done that. Order the medicine, Sprite, Pepto, and I'm impressed because it's here by 1pm when it got delivered, my girlfriend's mom was like, what is that? I basically told her it was just medicine since I was sick and didn't want to go to the store. So I got it via Doordash. And she was like, you didn't need to order online. I could have gone to the store quick and picked it up. However, after this, I'm seriously questioning my relationship right now. Not that it matters much, but there's a store about a quarter mile from my house. It's maybe a three, four minute drive. It would have literally taken 15 minutes max to pick it up. I asked her to do one simple thing and she blew it off for like five hours.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This is terrible.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So the question is, am I overreacting because I'm rethinking my engagement and potential marriage to this person. I wouldn't marry this person.

[Morgan]

I mean, when you get married, there are some vows you take.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

Typically it's in sickness and in health

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

and in health, for better or for worse.

[Morgan]

And she's not down for the in sickness part?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No, not at all. That's a major part. She's only down for the health.

[Morgan]

Just the health.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

As long as you're healthy and can get stuff on your own, then it's all good.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

The second I have to be inconvenienced. And why didn't you, when you were sick and knew you weren't feeling well, you didn't get it yourself.

[Morgan]

Also, why didn't you get it at the airport? Well, because the airport is like four or five times more.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's like $500 for a Sprite. And what are we talking about? Nah, man.

[Morgan]

$8 for just a water.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's crazy. It's highway robbery.

[Morgan]

It's getting insane.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No, it's really, really crazy. Right?

[Morgan]

Right.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I wouldn't marry this person. I wouldn't do it. This. The beauty in this situation is the person is showing you who they really are. And if the person can't show up for you, if a person that you're supposed to be married to, a life partner with, combining finances, potentially having children together, building a home and a family together, and going at life together. And when you're at your worst, when you can't, like, you feel horrible. Nobody likes to be sick. It sucks to be sick.

[Morgan]

It is the worst it's the worst. The worst, right? Especially when you feel like you also just can't leave because you gotta be close to a bathroom.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Isn't that the worst? Or you gotta, like, when it's coming out both ends, sometimes you gotta keep a trash can closed. So, like, that is the worst. It's embarrassing. He was vulnerable for her. Like, I couldn't do it. I could not and would not marry this woman. And take it from your friend djx, don't marry this woman. You're gonna be in for heartache and a terrible life. I am a believer in. I'm not married. Like, happy wife, happy life. I'm a big believer in that.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And you're gonna be miserable. She's not happy because she's not gonna be happy when you're sick.

[Morgan]

No. And I know there is, like, a common trope. Cause, like, I literally joked about it in my wedding vows, but now I'm like, well, I could have been a little nicer. No, it was funny. Everyone laughed. And like, it's kind of a joke with me and Justin where, like, sometimes guys will get sick and we like the man cold. And they take being sick a little

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

harder than, oh, we're big babies. Oh, I'll be the first to tell you.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Men are big babies.

[Morgan]

And Justin, like, we'll get the same cold. And like, maybe it hits him differently. But, like, for me, I'm like, I'm still doing.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm like, I'm a trooper. I gotta go.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And he gets taken out. So it's kind of a common, like, trope.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I agree with that.

[Morgan]

And so in my vows, I promise, like, in sickness, even if it's a man cold, like, I will take care of you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But you. But you committed, though.

[Morgan]

Oh, I'm committed.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You see what I'm saying?

[Morgan]

I'm committed.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And I think that was a fair joke because I, as a guy, am. I'm willing to say it. We can be big babies when we're sick.

[Morgan]

Big babies. So in my head I'm like, okay, well, like, if your partner kind of is like, I don't know, more the big baby when they're sick, then I get how you could kind of be like, he's not that sick, but this person is very clearly sick.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes.

[Morgan]

To almost pass out at the airport or, well, passed out at the airport and then almost fainted going up the stairs. They're sick.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And let's add this, it's even worse traveling and having to travel when you're sick. It's Torturous.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

To get on. To know you have to get on a plane and go through an airport.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's awful.

[Morgan]

No. I have a friend that got food poisoning on her flight back from London.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

On the flight.

[Morgan]

On the flight, she had to, like, lay down in the galley with the flight attendants, like, putting ice on her neck.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's the worst. It was food poisoning. I've gotten food poisoning, I think, twice in life, and it's the most grueling, excruciating experience. You feel like you're gonna die. Right. And it's just like. Imagine getting that on a plane.

[Morgan]

That and like, norovirus on a plane.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

A norovirus.

[Morgan]

Norovirus. It just comes out both ends.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. See, I've had, like. I don't know if it's been that virus, but I've had it.

[Morgan]

Oh, it's the worst. It's really bad.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So I need the person that I'm gonna spend my life with, even if I'm a big baby, when I get a cold or a head cold. And you're like, I think women are tougher in general. Let me just say that. Y' all have babies. If men had to have babies, wouldn't be no babies.

[Morgan]

Nope. I'm telling you, no chance.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right. You have to knock him up, like, against his will. And that's how it has happened.

[Morgan]

God, there's no way I'm telling you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So I'm telling you right now. Women are the tougher of men, and women. I have zero issue saying that. But if I'm telling you, I'm not. Well, can you get this from me? And you can't do it, or you're just, like, so annoyed with me? And I'm not saying you can't be annoyed inside.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Keep it inside and still do it.

[Morgan]

Why do you want to see your partner suffer?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

Like, at the end of the day, he's suffering.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Dehydrated. Dehydration can lead to really big issues. Why do you want to see him suffer?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

What happened to caring and empathy?

[Morgan]

Don't you like him?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, that's. It Sounds like I don't like you, man.

[Morgan]

Don't you at least like him?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It sounds like he's an enemy, and she's like, oh, how does it feel now?

[Morgan]

You would do that for a friend or a roommate? Like, you won't do it for your fiance now?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Now I want to. Like, I'm curious as to just, like, their dynamic when both are healthy. Like, is he like, not helpful when she needs help. Help with stuff. And now the shoe's on the other foot and she's kind of like, yeah. Being passive aggressive about it. Like, you don't help me when I say I need help about, you know, with this thing.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And now that you're down, well, you can wait. Not cool.

[Morgan]

I am gonna see if we have any comments from op.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I would love to see comments.

[Morgan]

So Reddit made this new feature where you can. You can hide your. Your comments now.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Can you really?

[Morgan]

Yeah. And it's really hard for me to find comments from people, but someone muse on Spotify left me a comment.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And gave me a hack.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Come on, Muse.

[Morgan]

So I'm gonna try it. You just search just a blank space and then enter, and I'll pull up posts.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Really?

[Morgan]

Muse, you're so good.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Come on, Muse. Shout out to Muse.

[Morgan]

You're so good, Muse.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Come on.

[Morgan]

This is why you let comments happen on Spotify, baby.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes. This is why we need comments.

[Morgan]

So I guess OP asked, like, why didn't you, like, get it? Like, what was the issue? And OP says, I tried to talk about it. She said she didn't want to be rude to her mom who was staying with us by leaving. That was her excuse. Put your mom in the car. Say, hey, mom, you want to go for a ride? We'll grab some coffee while we're out.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And you get it, and you make a little errand. Your mom would have loved spending time with you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Absolutely. Or say, mom, I got to run out. He's sick, and I need to get him some stuff. That's it. She might have had some tips.

[Morgan]

People were commenting. Why didn't you just go get it yourself?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Who are these people?

[Morgan]

Evil.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Evil.

[Morgan]

Op's like, I didn't want to shit in my pants and pass out again

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

right as I'm driving a moving vehicle, a 2,000 pound car. Like, come on, man.

[Morgan]

Yeah. If he's passing out, like, seriously, it's so dangerous. It's dangerous.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It really is. And people like, can we just say this? People die from the flu. Like, people actually. It's common enough where we don't think about it, but people actually die from it every year.

[Morgan]

I know. Like, a lot of people, actually.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Like, let's not get it twisted.

[Morgan]

I know. And dehydration is, like, a really big cause of that.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So OP does say, this is the first time I have been vulnerable around her. Like, this is the first time I really needed help. When she asks for help, I make it My number one priority, even from small stuff to whatever. If she asks me to do something, I try to drop everything and do it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This is not the woman for you.

[Morgan]

Wow.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This is not the woman for you. I know it hurts to hear this. You gotta walk away.

[Morgan]

You do.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You gotta walk away. She's showing you who she is. She's saying, I don't care about the pain that you're in.

[Morgan]

Well, and her excuse is just not.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's lame.

[Morgan]

Like, I didn't wanna be rude to my mom. I didn't wanna leave while she was here. I was gonna go after she left, but yet you kept talking. And I get you want to catch up with your mom, but, like, ask her to go. Like, for me, I would've been like, hey, mom. Like, I'm gonna run to the store. Quick one. It's 15 minutes. Hey, Mom, I'm gonna go to the store. You wanna come with? Like, there's two options.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

He's sick. I need to get him some stuff. Come with me.

[Morgan]

Insane.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Insane.

[Morgan]

Insane.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Inexcusable.

[Morgan]

I know. And I know people out there are gonna be, like, really? To break up. Like, they're engaged. Like, to break up over this. It's that serious.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It is that serious. And it's better to do it now than later. And I promise you it will come up later.

[Morgan]

It will.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And it'll be worse.

[Morgan]

I know. It's gonna translate into other areas.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. And when you say to your point about the vows, in sickness and health, and she says, I do, she's gonna be lying. She's gonna be lying.

[Morgan]

Proof is not in the pudding with that one. Right. I mean, like, she's showing you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So don't set it up before I even lie. Just break it off. Now you have actual experience. An actual experience with her. You have actual evidence. Walk away. I know it's not easy.

[Morgan]

Would you give it one more shot? I mean, being sick with the flu is not a common occurrence. Typically, like, would you have a really big heart to heart and give it one more shot?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm big on talking and I'm big on trying to talk things out.

[Morgan]

But for me, there was almost, like, enough chances. In the asking.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, right. In the asking and in the situation unfolding. Like, why didn't she just take charge? If I get married one day and I'm open to it, I need to feel like the person can hold me down when I'm not at my best. If I can't feel like. Or if I don't feel like the person can hold me down when I can't do it. And we never know what life is going to throw at us, right?

[Morgan]

Never.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You never know what's going to happen. You never know what's going to happen with your health. I've been blessed with really great health. That's one things of the, the greatest blessings of my life. But you never know what's gonna happen. You can step off the curb and God forbid, Right. And if I feel that she wouldn't be willing to take care of me if the absolute worst thing happens, I can't marry her. And that's how I would feel. I would talk to her about it. I'd be so hurt. For me, it wouldn't be any coming back from her. I had a close friend. I had a little, very minor outpatient surgery one time. I'll tell you what it is. I had a little cyst on my back.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And it was like this size. And then it got infected.

[Morgan]

Oh, and it was painful.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, yeah. And it was sore to the touch. Like it felt like somebody was putting a match. And it was like right here, just under my left shoulder blade.

[Morgan]

And like that's constantly getting bumped and rubbed.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. So even when as dude's like, yo, what's up? That hand, the dab hand, the other

[Morgan]

hand, the hug hand, I can feel it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It was painful. So this thing like got painful really fast.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So it was an outpatient thing and I was gonna be out same day. And a friend, a close friend of mine who I like bought groceries for before when she couldn't afford groceries for herself, paid for her to have like a month long metro card in between jobs she couldn't afford. And I'm talking about I did this home and saying up front like, you don't owe me anything.

[Morgan]

Oh my God.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This is just, you know, she was in need, she was vulnerable. And I said, hey, yep, here, take my card, go to the store, bring my card back and get you a 30 day metro card. Da, da da. This same person wouldn't stop by to see me when I got home. One, they didn't go and wait in the waiting room. Another wonderful friend did. I walked home from the hospital. It's walking distance.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But still, like the person literally did not stop by. They said they went and had dinner with another friend a few blocks away from where I lived at the time. We can't be friends. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Not even to stop by before or after the dinner.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Did not stop.

[Morgan]

Dude.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yo, Morgan. They didn't stop by to see me

[Morgan]

that day when people show you who they are.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You gotta listen.

[Morgan]

You gotta listen.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Toni Morrison. You gotta listen, man. Yeah, yeah, listen.

[Morgan]

That's insane.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Listen to what she's telling you through her actions and lack thereof. Yeah, listen.

[Morgan]

Absolutely.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's crazy.

[Morgan]

I know. Top comment. Well, lucky you found out now before you got married.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's what I'm saying. That's what you're saying. You want it now, before, really? That's what's supposed to happen during the engagement, right?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I mean, I've never been engaged. You've been engaged. Successfully, I might add.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You're still. We're not testing. We're evaluating, though. Yeah, right.

[Morgan]

It's just like another serious step. And it's like, even more so, like, you know, when you're in that engaged period, depending on what you're doing for your wedding, like, a lot of stressful things pop up.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right.

[Morgan]

Hard conversations, establishing boundaries. It really is this, like, evolution of your relationship. And, like, can we make it at this next level?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Because then once you're married, it's another level up. It's like Donkey Kong or Mario. It's just like you're going up through

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

the levels and they get harder. Right.

[Morgan]

And can you make it? And if you're not with the right person, it's gonna fall apart. You're gonna fall apart.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, that's right.

[Morgan]

So you gotta make sure you got a good one next to you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I like that. I like the video game analogy.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah, it's hard. You don't restart.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I love these situations. You found. I'm loving. I'm loving these.

[Morgan]

I know. I've got some more good ones.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Let's go.

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[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We love a hot take. We do not love a complicated decision. That's why State Farm makes bundling easy. With a personal price plan, you can choose the coverage you need and get a price that works for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. This next one, I'm really torn between what one I give you. Okay, so I'm going to let you pick because they're somewhat similar. Okay. Option number one. My husband frequently jokes about my family. His attitude is rubbing off on our son, and I want it to stop. Mm.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Wait. Family in general or her side of the family?

[Morgan]

Her side.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Ooh. Okay, let's hear the next one.

[Morgan]

The other option or option two, which is also coming from our Too Hot Takes subreddit. I just heard what my partner's family really thought about me, and I don't think I can be with my partner anymore.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I want to start with that one.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

The other one I want to talk about, too. The other one's good.

[Morgan]

Are you want to get in that one, too? Okay, we'll do both.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, I want to start with the one, though.

[Morgan]

Okay. So this is again from our very own Too Hot Take subreddit. So this is. There's a good chance it's One of our listeners.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And it's eight hours old.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay. So we want to deal with this. Okay.

[Morgan]

We gotta.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And get in the comments too.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And let us know what you think about what we gotta say.

[Morgan]

I just heard what my partner's family really thought about me and I don't think I can be with my partner anymore.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

My female, 31 partner, female 32, has access to her work. It's a family business, CCTV cameras which also have audio. It is toxic for her to listen to them, but she does. I have never once heard my name, but this time I did. While she was sitting in my car listening to segments of this specific day. I of course got curious and said I wanted to hear what was said. My partner instantly got defensive and said that it's rude to listen and tried to jump out of the car. I grabbed her, pulled her back in and I insisted that she let me listen. She tried to keep me from listening, but I was not taking no for an answer as it would just eat me to not know what was said.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right.

[Morgan]

She then said that I could listen as long as she listened first. Well, she, after listening, really wanted to just sum it up for me. I insisted I had to hear the whole thing. Finally she gave in, but was crying and basically begging me not to listen. What I heard was not unexpected, but was eye opening to say the least. They said that I am ungrateful for not helping them redo a house that they bought for my partner to live in. But in the past, when I did offer input or to help, it wasn't appreciated or wanted.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

They think I'm an over opinionated bitch who doesn't know when to shut up.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm just laughing at the boldness when you hear it.

[Morgan]

Oh, the audacity.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

The audacity.

[Morgan]

Because when they are making disparaging statements towards minority groups or things that are ignorant or along those lines, I don't stay silent.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You're here. Shout out to you.

[Morgan]

They also stated that they were the reason my son even has a halfway decent life.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Damn.

[Morgan]

Which I don't understand because I live by myself, pay for everything myself, Right? And they just gift him at holidays or when they go on vacations.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right.

[Morgan]

The only thing I can think is that it's related to these other statements and that's the real kicker. They made fun of my upbringing. They made fun of my background and said that I came from nothing. As if just associating with them has improved my life.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Huh?

[Morgan]

I grew up poor and have had a harder life than most would own up to.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I'm a loving person despite this and I'm a hard working person. I have everything I do because I work 50 plus hours a week. I worked my way up to a salaried retail store manager position and do things with integrity. They even accused me of getting close to grandma for seemingly nefarious reasons.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

What?

[Morgan]

Mind you, I love grandma and she's the sweetest human. There was one time when I was in the middle of my divorce from my ex husband that they did offer to pay my deposit for my lawyer. It was $3,000 and I didn't know how I was going to pay it, but I was extremely hesitant to take the money because I never want someone to have something to hold over my head.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right.

[Morgan]

I've never been able to forget that they have done this for me and it's been six years. I've offered to pay it back. I've tried to pay it back and they won't take a payment. They've even gone so far as to PayPal me back money I've given them. How do I get past this? I know my partner is going to try and push this under the rug as she always does, but I've blocked everyone's numbers and social media. I just haven't blocked my partner. There can't be a future like this. But I don't think I could forget hearing all of that. They're engaged or they are just partners.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And no mention how long they've specifically been together. But op, you know, does mention like divorce six years ago and the family helped pay for it. So they've been in each other's lives for some time.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, but. And there was some overlap or at least she was separated from her husband and they helped pay.

[Morgan]

There could have been friends before. Who knows? Yeah, right.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

At a great point.

[Morgan]

Unclear.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Great point. Okay, unclear. So what came to mind? This is why I asked if they're engaged.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Because I thought this needs premarital counseling.

[Morgan]

Counseling, which everyone should do regardless.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Regardless. Therapy counseling. You need guidance from a professional. And this sounds like it needs counseling now even if they don't do joint counseling. I think the person who heard all of this, I think she needs, if she doesn't already get therapy. I think this is a good time because whether they stay together or not, I think there are a lot of things from her past and upbringing that she's hurt by and that she's carrying because it feels like she talks about it a lot. Because they know a lot about a Lot of that. Right. And she may carry that around a lot. And I think a lot of that needs to be unpacked. So I think first and foremost, she needs to have that explored for herself. Right.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Maybe to heal from, I mean, growing up and having a harder upbringing and not as fair of a playing field as someone else.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that does give you a chip on your shoulder.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It does.

[Morgan]

And you, you carry it. And then when people then use it against you, you're like, that wound is reopened. Just like.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And it's right there.

[Morgan]

It's right there. It's so fresh.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So it seems like just reading between the lines, I. I think we're picking up on some healing that needs to happen within herself first. And until that happens, she won't be able to get past this.

[Morgan]

I wouldn't. I'm. I have a hard time. Like, once the glass is broken, like, yeah, you can't put it back. I'm the same way.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I can't unring the bell.

[Morgan]

And when you hear someone saying such mean, disparaging things about you, I wouldn't be able to forget it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Especially people that you have to go celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas together and smile over a turkey and. No, you think I'm a over opinionated bitch who doesn't know when to shut up. You think I'm ungrateful. You think I'm beneath you because I had a different upbringing.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's crazy.

[Morgan]

My family was poor.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, they don't like you.

[Morgan]

They don't like you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

They genuinely. They don't like anything about her.

[Morgan]

Anything.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And then they're like, about her son.

[Morgan]

About her son.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So questioning your skills as a mother or how you provided for your son, These people do not like you. And you're also in with the family when you're in with the person. And that part can make her break a lot. Now, her partner, what's up with the voyeurism on the cctv? Like, she's made her own reality show. Does her family even know she's doing this?

[Morgan]

I don't know. Let me see if there's any comments for that.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Cause that, that's also another form of self harm because you're like, are you trying to catch them talking about you? And then you accidentally found this. But like, yeah, like, what is. What's the family dynamic?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, like, what do you want to see?

[Morgan]

It makes me think the family dynamic is really dramatic and like, maybe toxic because. Why are you watching that?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, because you don't tr. You don't trust them. So her partner doesn't trust her own family and she's watching this with sound like a TV show every day.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Is wild now to me. Trust issues there. I know you're looking up the comments in the meantime, but if she doesn't trust her family, is she gonna fully trust you? Where does this start and stop? You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, she. She does it over here, but she won't do it over here. Nah, I don't know about that. I wouldn't trust that.

[Morgan]

No.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It sounds like somebody that goes through your phone.

[Morgan]

True. Which that can be a red flag.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Would you. I guess, like, looking at this, clearly family has some issues. Maybe toxic.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

The partner, you know, the one that's writing in, kind of had that comment at the end that was like, she's gonna try to sweep this under the rug. Like she does everything else. Yeah. That to me, worried me.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's a lot there.

[Morgan]

Cause I'm like, well, she's not gonna have your back then against her family.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

And so in my head, I'm like, I think you could proceed forward with this person if she was willing to make some changes and set boundaries.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Absolutely.

[Morgan]

Maybe go low contact with them. She's gotta really reprimand them, though.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

She has.

[Morgan]

She's gotta, like, really have a conversation and lay the hammer down and get this little story straight.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Because it's like, this is what you think of the person I'm with. And it's like, so what happened? What did she say that you didn't like? They gotta get to the bottom of that. Because even with the conversation, does that make them like her? Probably not. They'll be more pissed off because it came up. Up this. I don't. I don't. I don't know if this is fixable. I don't know, Morgan. This sounds irreparable to me.

[Morgan]

Well, there's a comment here from OP too.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

To be fair, she wasn't present for this conversation, but these are things that I can say she has heard before. I can guarantee she didn't seem surprised by their statements, only upset that I was going to hear them straight from their mouths with no filter.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You know, I'm going to add something. We gotta be careful what we say about our partners, to our families, and even to our friends.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

We need to protect them.

[Morgan]

Venting can go wrong.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes. Because a lot of times we tend to vent about things that we find annoying or frustrating about them. Or this thing they did that was wrong or at least from your perspective, it was wrong. And now all your family is hearing is negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative. And then she comes around the family, and then maybe they have a debate about something and they said something and she challenges them on it. They didn't like that. Then it's all of this. And you might have set the table for them to view your partner as somebody that doesn't know when to shut up. And da, da, da. And all this other stuff. A lot of that could have been based on stuff that. That she said. Because how do they know some of this stuff? Probably because you said it.

[Morgan]

I think a lot of the details. Yeah, they're. They're very personal details.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Very personal.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm. I think I'm more on the boat of, like, there's no way forward with this one.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Hit the eject button.

[Morgan]

Well, especially this comment from OP Okay. I swear, she gets off on people not liking me.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, you gotta go. See, I knew it. I knew. I knew. My spidey senses never.

[Morgan]

What the heck?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, she's badmouthing. So let me say it another way. She's bad mouthing her all the time. That's what this is. She's bad mouthing her. So team partner, they're all gonna be just not liking her.

[Morgan]

I know. And I think OP like, kind of shares here that, like, there's a little bit of a fear in breaking up. Like, it's hard being a lesbian in a town where there are 10 of us and they're all my partner's exes. But I will not settle for this.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Please don't settle.

[Morgan]

Yeah, there's.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

There's somebody for you that will love you for you and appreciate your upbringing and the struggle that you went through that has made you the hardworking, successful person that you are now. And you'll be able to love who you want to love. But there are people out there who will treat you better than this, and their families will treat you better than this.

[Morgan]

Yeah, 100%. And, like, they have been together six years. That's in the comments. OP also shares things like, she's extremely classist. And, like, sounds like.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I mean, her family sounds classist.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Beneath.

[Morgan]

You know, she most definitely is.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I've never. I'm just. I've never in my life just even had the thought pass through my mind of, like, someone's beneath me. The concept of that is so crazy.

[Morgan]

That's nuts.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's pretty sick, man.

[Morgan]

Like, we're all humans.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Like, we're all humans and we have different life circumstances that have happened. Some we had no say in whatsoever.

[Morgan]

Yeah. No. I can't imagine in your head thinking I'm better than someone.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right.

[Morgan]

Like that, to me is like, I'm not better than anyone. I'm one person. I'm just one person giving my opinion. I'm not the opinion.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No, not at all.

[Morgan]

I'm like, we gotta. Like, we are so much bigger than just ourselves.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, absolutely. Couldn't agree more.

[Morgan]

It's so insane to me.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. And I couldn't be around. And I'm a pretty loving person and accepting person. And I love having conversations with people who have opposing views in mind. But where I draw the line is when people. When you think you're above another person. How dare you.

[Morgan]

No, it's gross.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This. This. It's gross.

[Morgan]

She's gotta run.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You gotta run.

[Morgan]

She's gotta run.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Run.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Your kid doesn't deserve to be around that type of behavior either. Like, all of this family looking at him like, you only have anything because of. No, he's got. He's got stuff. Because of his hardworking, driven mom. Like.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Just weirdos.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Molly, girl, you in danger. Run.

[Morgan]

Get out of there.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Get out of dodge while you can.

[Morgan]

Top comment. I think it's time to take a break from this relationship. 1000% bitching in laws are so pedestrian, but this is so blatant. It takes it to a new level. Why would she let them do this? What payoff is in it for her? Because I don't think it's worth it for you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I hug. Couldn't agree more. And yeah, hugs. Big hugs. We love you. We support you. You can do better than this. That I can tell you.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You can do bad all by yourself. This ain't it.

[Morgan]

No, you gotta. You gotta move forward. And hey, maybe, you know, maybe there's a little traveling on your horizon.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right. Cause you gotta break out of that town.

[Morgan]

You could. Yeah. She calls it nowheresville or something in a comment. And I'm like, maybe it's time to dip your toes in a new city.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I think so.

[Morgan]

New city. New dating pool.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

New dating pool. Plenty more like.

[Morgan]

Yeah, man, that can be fun.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That could be a lot of fun.

[Morgan]

It could be. I think it's time.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It is time.

[Morgan]

Moving along to this next one.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Let's do it.

[Morgan]

This next one is super, super strange.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Okay.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

All right.

[Morgan]

So it is. Titled boyfriend, 24, male, doesn't agree to come to the initiation party with me. 24 female family. Also upset about the rules, which doesn't allow couples.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Wait, wait, wait. Tell me about initiation for what I know. Oh, I didn't say yet.

[Morgan]

No. This is about to get crazy.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Let's bring it. Let's bring it. Let's do it. Let's do it.

[Morgan]

We have a family tradition for over 40 years. We throw parties regularly with people, but we don't allow significant others to come. Basically, only you attend or your significant other attends, but never together at the same time. The idea is you get to know and build individual relationships between everyone. You can also only come to four parties consecutively. After that, it's your significant other's turn and you won't be invited anymore until.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Ever. Oh, until they hit the. The other person goes to their phone.

[Morgan]

Until your significant other comes to a party. After that, you can attend the next four before needing the significant other to come again. Obviously single people can attend all of them. When someone begins dating a new person, that person is invited to a party to get to know others. And this will be an initiation into the family. And this is the situation with me and my boyfriend right now. We've been dating for three months. My cousin already talked to him and invited him to come, obviously without me, to the next party so that he can be initiated into the family. The next party is in a week. Boyfriend doesn't want to come.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

He's like, I'm out. I don't want to be a part of this.

[Morgan]

This is weird.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's weird.

[Morgan]

I'd be out too.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This sounds like. Did you see that movie?

[Morgan]

Literally. Are you thinking get out?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No. Oh, get out is another one. Get out. This is get out level too.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But there's another movie, and I think the couple is about to get married or entering this big mansion. And it's like some game night thing they do.

[Morgan]

And basically the hide and seek thing.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And they like, if she survives the morning, they get married or something.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, they're making a sequel for that, by the way. I just read that a couple of weeks ago.

[Morgan]

I've wanted to see that. I'm. I'm kind of scared of scary movies, though.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's not scary in a sense of like, hereditary. Like, it's not Ari Asta scary, that movie.

[Morgan]

I still have nightmares.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, it's haunting.

[Morgan]

Okay, so it's more of a thriller.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, it's more of a thriller kind of thing. Like, and it's a little campy. Yeah. This has get out and hide and seek vibes. All over it. Like, your partner's never gonna be seen again. Her boyfriend is never.

[Morgan]

Where's he going? Why is he gotta go by himself?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes. And then he gets invited on the side. I would be out, too. I'm like, no, I'm good. This. This sounds like murders.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, what?

[Morgan]

And they're only three months in.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I thought so. I thought about that, too. That's too soon. Initiated into the family. Three months.

[Morgan]

Like, literally initiation into the family.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Nah, I'm good.

[Morgan]

Why does he need to be initiated?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And who's your family?

[Morgan]

Like, why are we initiating?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Like, initiating to do what? What, to go to a party?

[Morgan]

It's giving cult.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's giving cult. It's giving old, old money.

[Morgan]

I mean. Yeah. They've been doing this tradition for 40 years.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, this sounds like y' all vampires or something.

[Morgan]

It could be this.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This gives me vampire vibes.

[Morgan]

Something is up here.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I wouldn't want to go, like, being new to the relationship, like.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No.

[Morgan]

I mean, I feel like you don't really even know your partner at three months. That takes a year.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes.

[Morgan]

I don't want to go meet your family alone without you. Without you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I don't even know you like that.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I would only go to be around your family for you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, it's not for me.

[Morgan]

It's not for me. It's for you. Right.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I got a family.

[Morgan]

Like, what? So I don't know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, that. That shows. They also have, like, this really elevated. I'm gonna say, inflated view of their family.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, oh, you get to go, and I can't go. I'm. I'm good. Good.

[Morgan]

I also wouldn't want to keep going to these parties without my partner.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, I agree. You want to experience that together, though.

[Morgan]

But it's like, it's supposed to be like, life.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Like, that's right.

[Morgan]

I hate when people aren't inclusive.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I agree.

[Morgan]

Like, let's just do this.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You know what? People have this thing. It's. It's like a dark side of human nature where there's, like, somebody has to be in and somebody has to be out.

[Morgan]

I literally was just talking about this other day.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

The psychology of, like, the in group versus the outcome.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people just do that. And it's like, people do it in, you know, workspaces. They do it in schools. They do it any place where there are human beings gathering, There has to be an in group and an out group. And I was always the kid like, even in, like, elementary, high school, I would seek out the people who are, like, the out crowd. Like, people naturally gravitated towards me. So I will always go learn their names and say what's up? And just like. Like find something to talk about and just be cool with everybody. Cause I can't. It. It pains me to see people on the outside.

[Morgan]

No, you are. That was one thing I was like, last night. I was, like, trying to, like, think about how to, like, describe you in the intro of this. And, like, one way I think of you is, like, you are such a bridge between people and, like, culture. And, like, you are a connector. And so, like, that doesn't surprise me, learning that about you. Like, you're just your glue. Like, you're the glue that kind of holds everything together.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Thank you for saying that. That means a lot to me because that's who I've always been. And it's really wild. And I'm so appreciative and grateful that my life's work now.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Is being that. Like this. Like, this is essentially my work. To be this bridge and connector between people and culture and the artists they love.

[Morgan]

And, you know, you're literally. That's what you do. Like, it's. It's so crazy.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's. It's dope. Thank you for saying that. I. I appreciate that. That means a lot to me.

[Morgan]

Your tire's feeling pumped over there.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes. I feel good. I feel inflated. We talk about it being inflated. I feel nice.

[Morgan]

It's all so genuine.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Nah, I really appreciate that. That means a lot to me, this situation. Get out.

[Morgan]

You gotta run.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Get out.

[Morgan]

Literally.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right. Cause you don't wanna be in a sunken place. Snap our fingers and then that single tear comes out your eye. And the tv. Get outta there.

[Morgan]

Did you ever see Skeleton Key?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I heard it. I know that movie. Wait, wait, wait. Is that. I know who that is. That is Kate Hudson.

[Morgan]

Kate Hudson. It's one of her early ones. Yeah, it is, I think, one of my favorite Kate Hudson movies. And it's so scary.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I feel like I saw it when it came. I see, like, almost anything. Yeah, I felt. Feel like I saw it back in the day, but I'm gonna revisit it because I don't remember. I remember it was, like down in the Bayou kind of thing, this house. But I don't remember the plot specifically.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it is so good. And I feel like a lot of people, when get out came out, they were like, oh, there's a little, like, inspiration or something. But it's really. It's really good.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay, I'm going to revisit that.

[Morgan]

Really good.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm going to go back and see that again. Kate Hudson's Oscar nominated right now, too.

[Morgan]

For what?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Song Song Blue.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. What is that? It's on.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's the Neil Diamond Jackman. Yes, it's the Neil Diamond Tribute Band based on a true story. So this is a true story. And this is the movie version of a documentary that was made about this band.

[Morgan]

That's cool. Yeah, I need to watch it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, I haven't seen it yet, but I'm gonna see Skeleton Key and then I'm gonna see Song Song Blue.

[Morgan]

I just love her, everything she's doing lately. Did you see the Netflix show with her, the basketball one?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

No, I missed that one.

[Morgan]

It's like her doing comedy, and she is.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I totally miss that.

[Morgan]

Funny. She's the female heir to basically the Lakers, but it's not the Lakers in the show. But, like. And she, like, tries to, like, save the. The empire.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I totally miss this.

[Morgan]

She's so good.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna binge.

[Morgan]

You got some stuff to get on?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, yeah, I got some stuff to binge. Okay.

[Morgan]

So we do have a couple comments

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

from OP I would love to hear.

[Morgan]

So someone goes, three months is very fresh. Completely understandable that he doesn't feel comfortable with this.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Right.

[Morgan]

Does he even know anyone in your family yet?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Apart from the cousin who asked him to come. Maybe he will come to one of those parties when you've been together for longer and he knows at least someone.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And OP goes, well, he's seen a few people, but these parties are for this specific reason, for him to get to know everyone.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Hard pass. I'm not doing it.

[Morgan]

Let's just keep it to, like, the holidays when everyone's seen it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, man.

[Morgan]

Like, see you then.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It seems like this family's just planning parties all year, too. It's like, this is a lot.

[Morgan]

Well. And like, you have to go to four. Like, that's so much.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. That means somebody's keeping tabs. And what? Somebody has a spreadsheet somewhere? Like, what are we doing?

[Morgan]

I know. So I think someone does ask about that. So someone goes, this is so odd. So many rules. Who keeps track of this?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly. See, this is. This is where my mind goes.

[Morgan]

You're on it. You're so, like, tapped in.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Because I'm like, who? Wait, somebody's keeping track of this. And.

[Morgan]

Yeah, we got a Google sheet.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Like what? Like this Google sheet has to be so long.

[Morgan]

So OP responds, we have a book where we record attendance details.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Nah, man.

[Morgan]

They're taking, like, minutes. They're calling roll.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, no, like, somebody, like, has a. Like a. A pen and quill. Like the. You know, the pen.

[Morgan]

Like the inkwell.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, like writing a calligraphy. No, I'm good.

[Morgan]

And 40 years of a.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

40 years of this. So this big old book, it's like a scroll they probably write on and, like. Nah, I'm good. He won't come back alive. He will never be seen from or heard from again. And there'll be a Dateline episode about what happened to this guy.

[Morgan]

Yeah. This is gonna be on. Like, surviving this cult.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly. It's coming out on Netflix.

[Morgan]

It's coming out.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. I'm gonna call him up. You know what? We're gonna be executive producers.

[Morgan]

This is. I'm down. Yes, dude, I'm down.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm gonna narrate it.

[Morgan]

A lot of people start asking. This feels cult. Like, this made me feel uncomfortable to even read.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

I wouldn't go if I were him.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And OP responds, oh, my God. It's just a party with a lot of drinks and very friendly people.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Spooky. I don't buy it. This is spooky. Stay away. Live.

[Morgan]

Also, here's another fun rule OP shares. Old people aren't even invited. Once you turn 40, you're out.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

See what I'm saying? This is some game. What do you mean, once you turn 40, then what? Yeah, this is definitely close. Yeah, this is so. Did you see the movie Blink Twice? No, the Channing Tatum. Zoe Kravitz wrote it and directed it. This was her directorial debut. I won't give away any details. This is giving Blink Twice as well. All I'm gonna say is they go to some island, get invited to an island. Channing Tatum's like, this big tech titan that has all this money.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. Okay. I saw the trailer for it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. And he invites people to this island.

[Morgan]

Looked really good.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This. This feels. Blink Twice meets Get out meets hide and seek. Plus skeleton key sprinkled on there.

[Morgan]

100%. Last comment. I'll read. Because someone goes, why can't you come after 40? What happens after 40?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

And OP goes, you grow too old for this. There is a party for 40 plus people too, but that one is simpler.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I would hope so. So everybody after 40 somehow survived. Maybe they were the killer. That gets to live. Like, that person's gonna be a sacrifice. That's what it is. This person is gonna go and they're gonna be a human sacrifice to whatever pagan God that they're worshiping at these parties.

[Morgan]

You know, I was thinking in my head, I was like, is this a little mid summary? Did you see that one?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes. I'd already asked her that one. I saw that movie. And hereditary. Scary as hell. But I loved it. Midsummer. I'm gonna tell you the truth. I went to see. I wanted to see it by myself. Cause I couldn't get. I couldn't get anybody to go.

[Morgan]

Cause it's really scary.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, my God. Right? So I go to see it. That's the first movie. No, not the first. That's one of a handful of movies. I walked out and I said, what was the point of that? Not in the sense of the plot, but it's so creepy and brutal and like, I don't.

[Morgan]

I was like, I'm super confused and

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

scared and poor Florence Pew just a crying. And I was like, I can't take this.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I said, I will never watch that movie again.

[Morgan]

I know. So in my head I was like, is this a little Midsummer? Like, maybe they're in Sweden or like. I don't know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I don't know.

[Morgan]

I don't know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But it feels. It feels like that kind of thing.

[Morgan]

So OP shares that they live in Switzerland, see, Which is not okay. It's not Sweden. No, no, no, no. But across the pond from us.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Like different culture, beautiful people. And they have some traditions that we don't fully understand as Americans. And you may not come back alive.

[Morgan]

I know someone does say, please show him pictures from the event so he knows that he won't be sacrificed.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I don't believe they'll. So wait. You can't bring in a person that are going to allow you to take pictures.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This is a no phone event. This is an event. They're collecting your phone at the gate and there is a gate. This isn't a place that doesn't have a gate.

[Morgan]

No, there's a security code.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

There's a security code. There's a gate. A big metal, ornate gate that swings. It swings open. You know what I mean? Like, and it opens really slowly.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah. As it goes.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And then you get to come in. So you can't just run out the front door and run on the street. This is a house that you don't want any parts of this.

[Morgan]

How much would it take for you

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

to go, I can't do. I want to live My life is worth too much to. Yeah, man. What about you? Is there an amount?

[Morgan]

Switzerland. I do want to go same Switzerland, you know, maybe first class ticket.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, no doubt. And Delta 1, baby.

[Morgan]

As long as I know I'm going to survive. For sure. I'd do it 100k if I know

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm going to survive.

[Morgan]

Maybe 50.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Give me the 100. Give me the 100. Because there's something creepy going on there.

[Morgan]

Yeah, something's up.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's something you. But it's something you don't want to do or even see. I can guarantee you is going down at this function, this event. Yeah, it's gonna.

[Morgan]

Something's up.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

250 for this one.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Again with the guarantee that I live.

[Morgan]

Yeah. See, if it's not a guarantee, oh, I can't do it, then it'd have to be a lot. And it'd have to be in my account for my family.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes.

[Morgan]

You know, guaranteed.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes. Like, I'm not coming back. Like, this is for y'. All. Doing this for y'.

[Morgan]

Doing this for you guys. Love ya.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Love y'. All. Yeah, Tell Justin I love him.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This is wild.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Who are these people?

[Morgan]

I would like to know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm intrigued.

[Morgan]

I know we probably have some listeners in Switzerland. Like, if you have a friend of a friend who's heard about this family, please, please let us know. Let us know. If this is like a cultural thing.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. If there's something we're missing. Are we. Are we over dramatizing it?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You know, put it in the comments, please. I want to know.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm dying to know.

[Morgan]

I know. I do want people to also help on this next story because I feel like you're going to have some comments about maybe your own interactions with famous people, because this next one's really fun.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay. Okay.

[Morgan]

You know Dolly Parton, right?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Well, like, you know of her.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yes.

[Morgan]

You honestly, knowing you, you've probably met her too.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You saw. I was like, did I meet. I met her virtual.

[Morgan]

She just seems like the best lady.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

She is amazing. Yeah. I met her during the pandemic virtually, and she was fantastic. I interviewed her virtually.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. For what?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

For our music team. We did this really cool thing during a pandemic. You know, we couldn't all be together.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So every single week we had a Music team happy hour. I would host it for the team and we would have a special guest drop in. So it was like, how do I

[Morgan]

get on these calls?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I mean, it was pretty crazy.

[Morgan]

It was like Dolly is just like.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It was Dolly Parton it was Cynthia Erivo. Cheer was really big. Remember the show Cheer on Netflix? I think Monica Aldama, she came through. I mean, but it was like, yeah, wow. Like all these like really big, really cool celebrities. Gwen Stefani. So what I would do is I would make breakfast while interviewing the celebrities for the team just for their enjoyment and entertainment. Just to. To help us get through the pandemic. I did that every single week for about a year and a half.

[Morgan]

That is amazing.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It was pretty. It was pretty awesome. So Dolly was awesome. So Dolly icon.

[Morgan]

This next one's about Dolly. This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. When it comes to your money, credit Karma keeps you ahead of the game. You can count on Credit Karma to keep up with your financial needs. As they evolve, they'll help you monitor your progress and give personalized recommendations so you can make strides towards your goals and find your way to money. Make sure you're on the right track no matter where you are on your financial journey. Intuit Credit Karma. Karma you can count on. It's time to throw your lash curler away. Seriously. Lancome's new Curl Goddess Mascara keeps your lashes curled and volumized. From the pre game to the after party. This fast setting curl and volume mascara gives you up to 330 hours of wear with no way down. You know what? Curls really do have more fun. Shop Lancome Curl Goddess Mascara now on Amazon. Okay, so this is coming from R Offmychest.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Okay?

[Morgan]

It's people confessing things. And you're going to hear this story and, you know, believe it, don't believe it. Let me know what you guys think about it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Let us know.

[Morgan]

So it's titled I met Dolly Parton one time and she farted in front of me.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I'm gonna spit this water. This is not what. I did not expect this to go. Everybody farts, though.

[Morgan]

Everybody farts.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's a natural human bodily function. Okay? Dolly Parton.

[Morgan]

This was a long time ago and every time I tell this story, nobody believes me. Okay, but here we go. I'm a huge Dolly Parton fan, as I'm sure everybody probably is. Yeah, she's sweet and talented. We were getting autographs signed after a concert one night, and Dolly just straight up lets one rip. Not a quiet one, but one where it was loud enough for me to hear. I started laughing a little. I couldn't help it. It was unexpected. She said, sorry, I was holding that in the whole show.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I believe this story, by the way. I believe it. I'm telling you right now. I believe it.

[Morgan]

I started laughing even more after she did that. She just smiled and jokingly said, what's the matter? Can't handle a little Tennessee Thunder?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

This is great.

[Morgan]

I have never laughed so much in my life. After I got my autograph, I walked away. She cracked another joke and said, I'll make sure it's in the key of G next time instead of the key of GS. What in the world, yo?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

She was like, like on fire after that.

[Morgan]

I mean, get Dolly doing stand up.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Like, come on, man. She was like, rattling off the cuff. Yeah.

[Morgan]

And that's what OP goes on to say. To be able to come up with jokes like that on the spot is impressive in itself.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I got an experience that most people probably would have paid for. And on top of that, I got jokes with it, too. I'm ashamed to say that Dolly Parton farting is my big celebrity meetup moment. But, hey, it could have been a lot worse. They say never meet your heroes, but sometimes you'll get an experience that really sticks with you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I like it. Yeah, I love it. Actually.

[Morgan]

Meeting your heroes can be really scary.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It can be. And people can let you down because how you picture them, remember we talked about it earlier, it's the thing you know them for, so you want them to be that. And when that thing is not necessarily them every day. Like, my thing is me. Right. DJX is me. There's no separation between what you hear and who I am.

[Morgan]

Right. That's kind of me, too. I'm like. Like what you see is mostly what you get. A little different. Obviously.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's heightened versions of ourselves for the medium that we're in at that moment.

[Morgan]

Exactly. The people you're with.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Absolutely.

[Morgan]

Who you're with. This is your energy.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Absolutely.

[Morgan]

It totally can.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So this has, like, been so easy and fun because this is who we are and this is literally what we do. We talk and we just talk.

[Morgan]

We gab.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, we gab and we talk about stuff that's happening in the world and we, like, have our takes on it. So the meeting your heroes is very, very tricky. And how you approached him matters too.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Now, in this context, I love it because it sounds like she was at a meet and greet after a show.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So this is designed for that.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

The person knows what they're there to do. Dolly knows what she's there to do. She's there to sign autographs, probably take a picture. You probably paid. Not probably. You definitely paid extra for it. It's a win. Win. Now the meeting your heroes. Now, I know people do have. I'm sure people. If you have nightmare stories from meet and greets, put it in the comments, please.

[Morgan]

Yeah, put just any, like, meetup. I. I'd love to know. Yeah, I run into a lot of people at Costco. That's where people find me.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's Costco.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I was trying out a mattress recently, and someone walks by and she's like, I love the show. And I'm like, hi.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Thank you.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Do they ask you to do a particular thing when they meet you, or do they feel like you're already friends?

[Morgan]

So I'm oddly. I'm kind of like, I get recognized the most from my voice.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That makes sense, though.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's such an intimate thing, and there's this, like, connection that's formed there that's just really, really strong. But it's that thing. It's. I'm in Ubers and, you know, I always speak to the driver and wait, you know, like, wait a minute. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, yeah, good to meet you.

[Morgan]

And it's really special.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

People always want. They always want a hug. They always want a hug. They always tell me how they or their families or the people in their household or their friend group listen to me and interact, and they always want to tell me about that. And they always either want to. They always want a selfie or a video.

[Morgan]

Well, yeah, because they want your voice.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, they want my voice.

[Morgan]

They want the voice of that.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So they're like, can you do the intro or just say my name or.

[Morgan]

It's so cool. It's just so amazing. And I, again, like, we. You especially, I think, like, really curating to people's moods and what they want to listen to. And I really think it's like, you're present during some of the best times.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

Some of the hardest.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

So it really is just. It's that parasocial where it's like, I think yours is so much more interesting because, like, they feel like you know them. I'm telling you, that is so special.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Flipping that part around.

[Morgan]

Insane. My mind is blown.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So nobody. Nobody's ever, ever, ever that I've been in situations where, like, it's been a lot of people and they know who I am, and they're all so kind, and they're just so happy, and I'm happy to meet them. People ask me all the time, like, does it ever get tiring or over.

[Morgan]

No, please. Say hi.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Say what's up?

[Morgan]

If you see me, say hi.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. If you see Morgan, please say hi. She's sweet. I'm telling you. This is who she is. Don't be. Don't. I'm telling you this, though. Don't be weird.

[Morgan]

I'm shy. No, I'm shy and awkward. So, like, we'll be fine. Like, I'm gonna be more awkward than you. Trust me. Trust me. But I love when people say hi.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But say hi. Let her know what you think about the show and how it impacts you and get you through your day. Please do that.

[Morgan]

Yeah, same for X.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Say. Say what's up? Say what's up? Like, you know New York. So the thing with New York is a lot of people in New York are cool about it because it's a lot of celebrities. You'll walk down, like, on the subway. On the subway.

[Morgan]

You're like, what?

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Somebody took a picture of Tom Hanks on the subway. He had a mask on. And they recognized him and they, you know, I love his wife. Well, it's funny.

[Morgan]

I love his wife.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's funny that you mentioned Rita. Rita Wilson. Shout out to Rita Wilson.

[Morgan]

Shout out, Rita.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So at our best new artist party. So Spotify is the best new artist party, if you didn't hear about it, where we have all the best new artists nominees perform. You.

[Morgan]

Olivia Dean, man.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Olivia Dean. Tor House down the Marias. I love the Maria Somber. Amazing. We're talking about his growth as an artist, a performer. We saw him in Cannes. Alex Warren, Leon Thomas. Just absolutely amazing party. Lola Young. Her first performance since she had taken a break from performing health stuff. Health stuff.

[Morgan]

So she came back strong.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Addison Rae.

[Morgan]

Cat's Eye.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Cat's Eye.

[Morgan]

I think we got them all.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I think we got. I think we got all eight. That's impressive.

[Morgan]

There we go.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So I'm at the best new artist party, and lo and behold, right next to me is Freida Wilson.

[Morgan]

I love her.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So we get into a conversation just about the performances. She was very into the music and she had this amazing sequence dress on, and she was just the most lovely person you'd ever want to meet. So we're just having great conversation and we're talking. And at some point, she doesn't assume that I know who she is. So she says, hey, I'm Rita, Rita Wilson. I said, I know who you are. And I said, I'm Xavier. People call me X. And she goes, because at the best new artist party, I introduce all the artists, all the performers. Welcome People. So I'm the host of the party, and she goes, I know who you are. In the city, we listen to you. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait. A. Wilson and Tom Hanks listen to djx. They listen to me. It's so wild.

[Morgan]

It really is.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And it reacts just like everybody else reacts.

[Morgan]

It's so insane.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's so insane. So say hi.

[Morgan]

Say hi.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's nice.

[Morgan]

I know. I'm getting better about saying hi to people that I admire, too.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I was gonna ask you about that.

[Morgan]

I didn't say hi to Bill Nye the Science Guy.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You meant. Oh, you told me about that.

[Morgan]

You told me about that. It's like, literally, I kick myself.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It's like, eating at you.

[Morgan]

Right? Still. So if I see him this year, say hi to Bill.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But you have to say hi.

[Morgan]

I saw Audrey Nuna. I think it's Noona. I think that's right from K Pop Demon Hunters. Yeah, so.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, she sure was.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah, they were there.

[Morgan]

So nice.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

People appreciate it.

[Morgan]

See, this is why you say hi.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

You just say hi. And this is what I keep it at. This is what I do. I. I never. I never take on the attitude that I'm too cool to say hi to somebody that has created something or put something out in the world that I appreciate.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So I just want them to know I don't want to hang out. We ain't gotta be friends.

[Morgan]

No, Just hey.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Just hey. And I really love your stuff. Your stuff. I love that song. Or I love. And what I do is. And this makes sense, me being who I am, I take. I usually go into some detail about the thing and how it. And I tell you when you're sincere and they hear that. I've never once. Now I know. Now it's like, well, of course now you're blah, blah, blah, blah. But even before people knew who I was and before I was a public Persona, people will stop and they will be like, thank you. Thank you for saying that.

[Morgan]

It is life changing. It really is.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

It matters.

[Morgan]

It inspires people even more. For me, it does, like I said, kind of at the top. Like, I'm dealing with some burnout. You know, everyone does.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

We need to talk about that.

[Morgan]

Everyone does. And so when people come up and like, hey, your podcast has helped me do this or changed my life in this way, I literally. I'm like, the zest for life is restored.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Because you know what's reaching you people.

[Morgan]

Yeah. It makes everything worth it.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I know when we were hanging out in la, we Were talking about a particular episode. You did.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And people got tested, and people found out what was going on in early detection, and it sat. Literally.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Colon cancer is, like, a big thing of mine.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. And it's saving people's lives.

[Morgan]

I know I haven't had a chance to do it yet, but I. I'm, like, trying to get better about looking after my health.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And so I had an appointment the other day. I got scanned, and they were worried about cancer. I'm good, but, like, I was just like, what the. I'm 32. Like, I'm. I'm getting to that age where you really need to start looking at your health and early detection.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right.

[Morgan]

And making sure you're on top of it. So breast cancer awareness is October, I believe. Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But the whole month. The pink month.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Colon cancer is, like, March, so just be on it. Be on your house.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right. And for men, prostate cancer is one. It's like. And now it's just like, a prick, like, of blood.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And it can tell if, like, you're potentially in a danger zone.

[Morgan]

My dad just had a scare.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Did he?

[Morgan]

I mean, everyone you talk to right now is like, oh, stuff is popping up.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

That's right. And what I'm doing this year is like, I'm getting everything checked out. Like, I obviously stay on top of the dentist and stuff like that, but, like, I have really good vision, so I hadn't been. I hadn't been to the optometrist in my adult life until last week. And then I went.

[Morgan]

I'm so jealous. I go once a year.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

So I went. But I was like, well, let me get everything checked out. Maybe. Maybe I think it's better than it really is. But I just felt comforted knowing, like, okay, no, your vision is really good, and you're okay. Come back next year just to check in. But, like, you're okay. And it's just good to know instead of just being like, no, no, I'm good. I feel fine. You don't know what's lurking. And what you never want to happen is for them to say, if you only came by a year ago.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Or when you saw that lump, that cyst. What is that? Get it checked out.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Get it checked out.

[Morgan]

Look after yourselves.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But let me tell you, thank you for what you're doing. You're reaching so many people. You're speaking to people in a way that's relatable and fun.

[Morgan]

I was like, we're just out here having Fun. Trying to distract ourselves and take a step back from, like, everyone's got stuff they're dealing with and going through. And like, this has hopefully been a really nice reprieve for you guys.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I hope so.

[Morgan]

Thanks to our amazing co host over here.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Thank you. It's been a pleasure. This has been so fun. It's been amazing having you and you've been trying to get me for like nine months. So thank you for your patience and thank you. Like, seriously, you've been so patient with me.

[Morgan]

No, but really, I would have waited another two years. Like it was gonna happen.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

I was coming on the show and I was dying to get here because I really loved it and I love Justin and I love what you're doing.

[Morgan]

Thank you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

But you're, like, doing your thing. You're doing a damn thing. I'm proud of you and it feels good to be here. This was fun.

[Morgan]

This was really good. You crushed it. You're welcome back anytime.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, I'm coming back.

[Morgan]

Hopefully we're going to get some updates on some of these.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Oh, I'm coming back then.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

And we're going to talk about burnout outside of the show. We're going to talk about burnout. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I'll give you guys some tips.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Yeah. Yeah, some tips.

[Morgan]

Until next time, guys.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Till next time.

[Morgan]

Bye.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

Peace. Bye.

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Skims. I don't know about you guys, but finding good undergarments used to be such a struggle for me. Painful underwire, not supportive, not comfy feet. All I wanted to do is race home at the end of the day and take it off. Skims is different. Skims has the fits. Everybody scoop bralette and let me tell you, it is big boob approved. It's unlike other bralettes. It has so much support and really stretches and is so comfortable. It's really become my staple. Go to bra. And something I love about it is it still looks good under a T shirt. If a bra can't pass the T shirt test, what is it good for? But no matter what undergarment problem you need, a solution for, Skims is going to have you covered. Let me tell you, those body skills suits keeping me snatched Lately, the only reason I've been able to go out and feel confident and comfortable with my outfits. So shop bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Thank you.

[Xavier Jernigan (DJX)]

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