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Morgan
This episode is brought to you by Intuit TurboTax. Doing your taxes the old school stress spiral way. Endless paperwork, confusion, and unsure if you're even doing it right. Yeah, we're leaving that in the past with TurboTax. Get matched with a dedicated full service expert who can jump in and handle everything for you even as soon as today. It's the update tax finally needed. Way easier, way smoother. And your TurboTax expert will still get every dollar you deserve. Visit TurboTax.com today. Hi, friends. I just have a quick favor to ask you. Would you guys go and vote for the Clues podcast for the Webby Awards? My very, very first podcast award nomination ever. And it's actually with the show that I do with Kaelyn, who's our guest today. It's called Clues. It's an amazing true crime podcast where we're really trying to be victim centered and just highlight inadequacies in the cases. But it's been such a labor of love. Intense research, hard work from the two of us and the whole team at Pave and Crime House. So if you could go and vote for us, I would really, really, really appreciate it. I'll have the link in the description. I can't thank you guys enough for all your support and hope you enjoy this episode with the two of us. Thank you. Okay, here we go.
Kaelyn
Let's do it.
Morgan
This is our fourth episode we've recorded together this week.
Kaelyn
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Because we've had Clues, we. This is such a full week of recording.
Morgan
We're literally punching this in on a weekend because we're here on a Saturday. We're just getting it done. It's so wild. But we've had some really, really good episodes on Clues this week. I. I like still. I can't get over the fact that we have a show together still.
Kaelyn
I know. It's so fun though. Like, I was doing heartstrings pounding for, like, just by myself for so long and it's nice to talk to another person.
Morgan
I know.
Kaelyn
But also, we're just. I don't know, I think our work ethic is so similar and we like the same things and we say no to the same things. So it's just like it's truly such a good match.
Morgan
Two peas in a pod.
Kaelyn
Two peas in a pod. And now we're sitting here with our little blankets.
Morgan
I know.
Kaelyn
Doing another little two Hot Takes episode. I will say this, the last one I was on was Scary Stories, which is so much more my domain that's where I live. That's where I thrive. So I'm curious to see what you have for me today because.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
Yeah, it's gonna be different.
Morgan
It's scary in a different way.
Kaelyn
Yes. You're like, it is still scary.
Morgan
It's still scary and it's still scary. But yeah. Today's theme is kind of a let's not meet again. Like, do not come to my house. Do not call me. Do not pass go. And I do have a couple, like, spooky ish vibes at the end too. So I'm kind of just giving you everything.
Kaelyn
I love it. I love it. Let's not meet stories. There is something about them that is like catnip to me where I. I know it's bad for me because I have such a body reaction to reading.
Morgan
Oh, it gave me nightmares last night.
Kaelyn
Have to read them.
Morgan
I've fully had nightmares. Yeah.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
But it's just like. It's popcorn inducing. Like, you just. Especially for you. You love a scary movie.
Kaelyn
I just like to be scared, I think is what it is.
Morgan
Does anyone else enjoy being scared?
Kaelyn
Yeah. I'm curious for anyone watching who also loves scary movies and also loves the let's not meet and the creepypastas and all that stuff. Like, what is wrong with us? But also. Yeah. Why do we do it? I read that. So someone was saying once that people with chaotic childhood sometimes really like horror because there is kind of comfort in the chaos or comfort in the controlled environment of, like, your emotions rising and falling and you know, your heart is pounding and you're scared and you're sweating, but you know that you're safe. Cause you're in a movie theater and it's just on screen.
Morgan
So I went the opposite way. I had the chaotic, crazy childhood, and then I was like, please put me in a room that's filled with Care Bears. Yeah. And I crave comfort and soft blankets and cozy pillows.
Kaelyn
I know I kind of am the opposite way too, in the sense that I don't think my childhood was that chaotic. But now I love kind of the chaos and the heightened emotions and the scary and the adrenaline of it all. So, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I'm so curious. There's gotta be some sort of psychoanalysis to all of that.
Morgan
We definitely have some psychologist in the audience. So please let us know. Please help us. Do we need to do inner child work? What do we need? Yeah. For those that don't recognize the voice with me today, we've got Kin Moore in the house of Heart starts pounding. I just had Ron Funches on and he's like, I've watched like 2000s WME Wrestling, and now all I want to do is, like, have a wrestling announcer, like, announce all my guests for me.
Kaelyn
That's really good. We. We should have, like, entrance music as we come in.
Morgan
Just play a song, Justin. We'll put him on it. He does the all the music for the show.
Kaelyn
DJ in the corner.
Morgan
I get comments still about what the intro song says. I don't know, you guys. Literally.
Kaelyn
Is it vocals?
Morgan
It's vocals. It's like a music plug in. And he then distorted it. And when you take all of the other plugins off of it and, like, play it at the speed it's intended, to me, it sounds like taking me out. Taking me out. Yeah, but sometimes I hear that's a big meow.
Kaelyn
Oh, yeah.
Morgan
To each their own.
Kaelyn
So maybe it's nothing. Maybe it is something.
Morgan
Yeah. But okay, let's. Let's see what I got for you here.
Kaelyn
Let's dive in. I'm so excited.
Morgan
Let's do it. This episode is brought to you by Calvin Klein Euphoria. Calvin Klein just dropped the new elixir collection by Calvin Klein. Featuring three perfume intense scents inspired by a unique orchid accord paired with vanilla. Each one has its own distinct attitude, its own universe. Bold elixir is sensual, woody, and addictive. Magnetic elixir is sweet and romantic. And solar elixir is bright and radiant. And they're ultra concentrated. For a scent that really lasts, find you'd euphoria with the Euphoria elixir collection by Calvin Klein. Okay, this first one coming from r RelationshipAdvice. And I probably should preface this. Kaylin is a new mom.
Kaelyn
I am literally just had a baby nine weeks ago.
Morgan
It's insane.
Kaelyn
Recent real life.
Morgan
You shouldn't even be working again. Why do we have you here?
Kaelyn
I know. I did go back to work pretty fast afterwards, which I don't know if I would recommend to people to do.
Morgan
No, do not. We gotta be like the Swedes. Like, where they just like.
Kaelyn
I know they don't work for a year off. Yeah, you really do need it.
Morgan
You need it.
Kaelyn
You need to stay sane. Yeah. Ugh.
Morgan
Okay, so this one is just a couple of days old now. It's titled My 25 Female Boyfriend, 25 Male, Kept Staring At a woman while we were at our baby's checkup.
Kaelyn
Interesting. All right, continue.
Morgan
Instantly mad.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
Hey, guys, I want to start by apologizing for My English, it's my second language. I literally have no one to talk to about this and I feel like I'm going insane for feeling this way about this. So me, 25 female and boyfriend, 25 male, have been together for two years and I'm currently pregnant with our first baby. I'm 27 weeks and last Tuesday I had my monthly appointment. I was looking forward to it since the last time I saw my baby he was 600 grams 1.32 pounds and this appointment he was 1 kg 2.2 pounds and it was the 4D scan. Anyways, I woke up early, cleaned the house a little, made breakfast, took a shower and I got ready. I was super excited. I am currently still working and I made this appointment so we could both be there because we're free. Fast forward. We got to the clinic and I had to go in first as there was no parking spots available nearby and I was afraid of being late. When I got seated, there was a woman in front of me who was very beautiful. She looked younger, in shape, short, dressed very nicely. After a few minutes I see my boyfriend walking in and he was barely looking at me. He was insistently looking at her while walking towards the seats. And after he got seated next to me, I could see him just staring at her. I felt sick, like he was comparing me to her. I felt so freaking large and huge and ugly beside her. It just ruined the moment and the appointment for me. And he is such a respectful guy. I've never seen him stare at a woman or say anything about a woman before. I swear to God. In that moment I felt like he was just like the rest of men and there was nothing special about him anymore. And I feel so bad for feeling like this. He has all the rights to find other people attractive, but I felt like he betrayed me and our baby in that moment. I tried to brush it off that day because we also went to his parents house to show them pictures with the baby. But when we got home it was all I kept thinking about. I didn't talk to him about it because I know he will brush it off or say I'm exaggerating. But we also haven't been intimate in a couple of months now. It feels awkward because of the baby. So I kind of get it. He knows something is upsetting me because I've been distant, but he isn't pushing it further and I don't think I can tell him what it is. I just feel so sad and pathetic for feeling this way, but it's just How I feel about it and I don't know how to get over it or if I should get over it. It isn't like I can escape him now. We got engaged last summer and we bought an apartment together and the baby was planned. Now I just feel like I've rushed into it. Has anyone ever gone through something similar? How did you or how would you handle it?
Kaelyn
This is taking me back.
Morgan
Oh my God.
Kaelyn
Really? I think this is okay. I don't know if this was a. Am I the asshole? She's absolutely not the asshole for feeling this way. I think most pregnant women, or I would imagine a lot of pregnant women feel this way because your body is changing so much and it's totally out of your control. There's nothing that you can do to make your body the shape you want it to be. And you have to just. I mean, you're basically building a baby from scratch. You have to be eating, you have to be gaining weight. The doctor wants you to be doing all those things also, I mean, you're pregnant, so I don't know how intimate you're being. A lot of couples also stop being intimate. And so then that all really gets into your head too. So I could totally understand where she's like, I just feel like he's not attracted to me anymore. However, I do think it's largely internal for her. I think him maybe looking at a beautiful woman in the doctor's office is not indicative that he has thrown your entire relationship into the garbage. And you know, he's still at that 27 week appointment doing the 4D scan with you and I imagine is excited to have this baby. It didn't sound like anything about this was that he wasn't excited about the baby. Oh man. I just, I remember feeling that way too, especially around 27 weeks. You're more than halfway through the pregnancy and your body just really starts slowing down and it starts hurting and you're just retaining so much water and gaining weight faster than you have at any point in the pregnancy. And just, I like, I didn't feel like myself either. And I always was self conscious about how other people were perceiving me. And I'm curious what the fear is. Are you scared he's going to leave you? And if so, do you have reason to believe from other people behavior he's exhibited in the relationship that he's capable of doing that? Or do you think that this is maybe an internal self confidence thing that you're just having because your body is changing a lot?
Morgan
I could See it being more so that. I mean, you describe it so well. We were like this rapid weight gain and it, it's supposed to happen. That's what being pregnant is like. I, I'm pretty sure the average weight gain in pregnancy is like 35 pounds.
Kaelyn
They say 35 pounds and it just like.
Morgan
And that's average.
Kaelyn
Like, I don't even know if that's average because that feels low. Like every single person I know has gained 35 pounds.
Morgan
I had friends that gained 100.
Kaelyn
Exactly.
Morgan
Like there's no right number.
Kaelyn
Yes.
Morgan
And your body is going to react so differently and it's like, hell, give me all the weight versus me losing teeth. Like, your body is going to do what it needs to do to literally 3D print and grow this and there's
Kaelyn
nothing you can do. Like, I swear, the people I know that have been the sickest in their pregnancy throwing up three times a day every day are the ones that gain the most weight. Like, your body just knows what it needs to do in this time.
Morgan
So insane.
Kaelyn
And so you're, you just have to allow it to do what it needs to do to like, protect this baby.
Morgan
Did you like? I guess because I'm curious and I don't. I know everyone when I say this, don't scream at me, don't yell at me. But like, obviously your hormones are so out of whack.
Kaelyn
Well, that too.
Morgan
And like, you can have so much anxiety. That's like anxiety, as we all know is like. So.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
You don't really have a reason behind anxiety. A lot of times it's just there, it's with you and it's making you think things that like, aren't even real.
Kaelyn
Yeah, definitely.
Morgan
And so I'm kind of in this and I'm like, you know, maybe he peaked at her. Like, I don't know. I look at everyone in a waiting room, but like.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
Are you kind of getting in your own head and creating something that like, wasn't even there?
Kaelyn
Totally.
Morgan
And like, he didn't notice her in the way that you feel he might have.
Kaelyn
Yeah. But it's something you're so self conscious about that you're assuming the worst intentions.
Morgan
And obviously I don't want to brush your feelings.
Kaelyn
Like, her feelings are so valid.
Morgan
So valid. But I think we. I do this myself and I'm not pregnant. I create an issue out of something that like, is not even an issue because I have so much anxiety around it.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
So I think like, best case forward, it's like, you gotta talk to him, you gotta bring it up. You're clearly feeling disconnected. Whether it's a lack of intimacy, your body changing, talk to him. This is your partner. You're engaged. You're having a baby. You gotta be able to have tough, uncomfortable conversations.
Kaelyn
No, definitely. I mean, where do you fall then, as someone. I experience anxiety. You said you experience anxiety too. At what point? How do you navigate a conversation? I guess I'm just more curious from your perspective. Yeah. How do you navigate a conversation where you are aware that what you're panicked about might be a symptom of your own anxiety? Like, sometimes I worry. Not that I worry, but sometimes when I'm bringing something up, even with my own husband, I'm like, oh, is this even an issue? Like, does he need to be brought into this with me? Or is. Or should I sit down for a little bit longer and kind of sort through this before I bring it up?
Morgan
Oh, my gosh. I struggle with this constantly. I sit with it a little bit, but I try to really then frame it like it is a me thing. And I feel. I stick to the I feels a lot. I love an I feel, as the
Kaelyn
therapists do suggest, as they say.
Morgan
So I try to be like, you know, like, if I was in this scenario, I'd be like, you know, I'm feeling a little insecure. I'm not feeling the most comfortable in my body. Obviously, I'm 27 weeks pregnant, but I just. I'm feeling a little disconnected from you. And, you know, I'm worried that you don't find me beautiful anymore. And I just. I'd love to find a way where we can, like, really connect. Connect. Like, I'm just feeling a little insecure. It's not about that other woman. Like, it feels like it is, but it really is about you and the lack of connection between your partner.
Kaelyn
Yeah, she's.
Morgan
She's just like. Like, you're.
Kaelyn
You're mapping all of your worst insecurities onto her because she's pretty. It sounds like she's maybe not pregnant and not going through the same thing
Morgan
that you're going through or not showing.
Kaelyn
You we're not showing something, and you're just like, I want to be her. Like, I want to be able to walk around as, like, easily as she walks around and not be showing. Like, she's not showing. And so I get that feeling too, definitely.
Morgan
And also, like, if you're at, like, a point in your pregnancy where it's like, you're showing, but not like, I feel like there's a point where it's like, people are like, is she pregnant? Is she not pregnant? Like, what's going on? And when you're in that stage, it's kind of like, it can be even more kind of like, well, what am I? Like, I don't look pregnant. But, like, you're gonna get to a point where a lot of people talk about this on Reddit where they're like, it was so nice not having to suck in anymore and I could wear that tight dress and it was clear I had a bump.
Kaelyn
And totally. It kind of goes both ways because I think there was also that, like, mental element of once people could tell I was pregnant, I knew how visual I was. I knew how much I was obvious to people.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
And that too was also hard because I felt like I was able to hide it for a long time. I carried pretty small.
Morgan
What did I.
Kaelyn
And I got in my head about being like, I'm so tiny. And then finally one day they see you and they're like, oh, you're pregnant. And you're like, God, oh my gosh. Like, I can't hide from this anymore.
Morgan
You had. You had a very unsolicited conversation in an elevator that I was like, damn, what did someone say to you in an elevator where they were like, yeah, I could tell in your face.
Kaelyn
Oh, yeah,
Morgan
that was. I was like, I know they were.
Kaelyn
They were. It was my neighbor. I know she was trying. She's older. I know that she was trying to be so nice. The way she said it, she was like, your face had gained weight immediately.
Morgan
Thanks.
Kaelyn
I was like, oh, okay, cool. That's actually not something I was self conscious about before, but now I'm gonna spend all night thinking about that. Thanks. Thank you. And I. I don't know, I'm like, in my mind, be like, where was the compliment that she was trying to hide in there?
Morgan
But there wasn't one.
Kaelyn
I don't think there was one. But yeah. So some people, I don't know, some people also, I think, take pride in being like, oh, I. I could tell. I knew before anyone. I just didn't want to say anything. And it's not. That's not necessarily a helpful thing to say to people, you know?
Morgan
No, but I think, I mean, this
Kaelyn
is something I think probably a lot of people, even when you're not pregnant, I mean, our bodies change so much all the time. I've also gone through periods where I've just gained weight and then lost weight, and there's. I don't know I feel like this is something probably a lot of people can relate to, of maybe just not feeling comfortable and also just worrying that your partner is feeling it too and is no longer attracted to you, which sucks. It's like, it's the worst feeling.
Morgan
It would suck. And I'm looking at the top comment now.
Kaelyn
Yeah. I'm curious what people say about this.
Morgan
Yeah. And I'm going to go back and read the sentence over after I read this one just to, like, Like, I'm like, did I miss something? I'm not sure. So the top comment at this point, it's only got 137 upvotes. It's normal to notice another person is conventionally attractive. It's not normal to act like a slobbering dog and stare. How absolutely disrespectful. Yeah.
Kaelyn
I'm curious. Was he being a slobbery dog about it and staring? Did I miss something?
Morgan
After a few minutes, I see my boyfriend walking in and he was barely looking at me. He was insistently looking at her while walking towards the seats. And after he got seated next to me, I could see him staring at her.
Kaelyn
Wait, okay. Also in my mind, too, I'm like, did he recognize her? Like, maybe he knew her? Did she look like someone he knew?
Morgan
I know, because I've done that too,
Kaelyn
where I'll like, like, look at someone so much to be like, is that Kara? You know, like, so you know. And it's actually not even related to slobbering over them.
Morgan
You're just trying to place them.
Kaelyn
Yeah. So actually, no, I am curious about that. If that's. I mean, I guess I'm assuming a lot of intentions on someone that I don't really know.
Morgan
But I'm like, I'm so curious and obviously, like, this is what we've got.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
So I'm just trying to also, like, I just, like, I feel like he loves you. Like, you're engaged, you're having a baby. Like.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
So I'm like, I don't think he's got wandering eyes.
Kaelyn
Are there other comments? I'm curious what the general consensus is.
Morgan
Yeah. So next one down. Only 50 upvotes right now. You really should talk to him now. If you plan on raising a kid with him and or marrying him, you're gonna have to start the practice of uncomfortable conversations now.
Kaelyn
That for sure.
Morgan
Before baby's arrival.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
100 potential future. You struggling with postpartum depression freshly after giving birth will not be properly up to the task, especially if you start hyper focusing on this with ppd, the growing together part will always include uncomfortable, difficult, sometimes frustrating or infuriating conversations, along with communicating needs of emotional support, validation, and reassurance. You could be rushing into things here if you can't even talk to him.
Kaelyn
I think that's actually a really balanced comment. I like.
Morgan
I love it a lot.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
Mic drop. Yeah, I. I like it. I'm like, okay.
Kaelyn
No, I think that's smart. It's just, like, you got to get used to having uncomfortable conversations. Like, just get to the root of what's going on.
Morgan
Yeah. And a lot of people. I do feel bad. Like, I think a lot of people then start kind of hounding on op, which I don't think is fair at all.
Kaelyn
Like, yeah, it sounds like she's going through a lot.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
And like, people hounding her about.
Morgan
Like, this comment says, it's insanity to have a baby with someone you can't actually talk to. Why can't you communicate how you're feeling? The relationship is doomed if you don't. This kind of, like, go on a tirade. It seems, like, interesting.
Kaelyn
Yeah. I'm curious. I wonder if people in the comments here are gonna agree with that too, because I. I know where she's coming from with the, like, feeling and maybe not wanting to bring it up because maybe you're reckoning with, oh, is this all in my head?
Morgan
I know OP does respond to that one. Thank you. I appreciate the time that you took to write this. I'll be honest. I'll have to leave it a couple of days to gather the courage for this type of conversation. Right now, I just cry thinking about it. And the person does respond to her. I think that's sensible. Get some emotional distance between what happened and how you feel about it. But don't wait too long, otherwise that will minimize and dilute the whole thing. I know it's hard, but you have to put some steel in your spine. We are treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated. That's one of the most important lessons I've learned in life.
Kaelyn
Well, I definitely agree with the. We're treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated. Or I guess I hear what they're saying in that comment.
Morgan
Yeah, I know. We don't really have an update on this one. It's. It's nine days old now. Upon my. My refresh, OP just kind of says, like, if I discuss it with him right now, I might cry, and he wouldn't take me serious enough and would just brush it off as me being pregnant.
Kaelyn
Okay. Actually, that is a way bigger red flag in my opinion.
Morgan
That's a problem.
Kaelyn
That, that actually is a problem if you can't have tough conversations while pregnant because he just says, well, you're just pregnant, you're hormonal, you're.
Morgan
I was like, I didn't want to bring up hormones because I hate when people are like, you're just hormonal, which
Kaelyn
is not so not fair because you're still a real human being in those hormonal moments and feelings.
Morgan
And it almost like, did you feel like you still would have had those feelings, but then maybe the hormones were like just an amplifier of real feelings?
Kaelyn
100%. Okay, 100.
Morgan
Because I'm like, what did like, did you experience anything where you're like, oh my God, my hormones are so out of whack.
Kaelyn
Like more so like after I gave birth, I would say even at 27 weeks, that's not even really when the hormones ramp up. I think if you're looking at the chart and I think I started feeling more hormonal after 30 weeks. So this might not even really be hormone driven like this.
Morgan
It might just be her.
Kaelyn
Yeah, yeah. Just how she's feeling in that moment. And it's not driven by like a big crash or something. Not that saying that it's not driven by her anxiety, but like, this is still a very valid thing that she's feeling. And if you're. If the entire nine month period that you're pregnant, you can't say anything to your partner because they brush it off as you just being pregnant, then I think that is a bigger problem in general. I'm gonna take out this.
Morgan
Yeah, we're waving the red flag.
Kaelyn
Yeah, That I think is probably the bigger issue.
Morgan
Well, there's another comment here too that says we don't usually talk about our problems. I guess it's been a minute since we had a heart to heart conversation. I'll gather the courage to talk to him. You gotta talk about your problems.
Kaelyn
Well, yeah, and not to be. Because I always hate when people are like, well, wait till the baby gets here. It's gonna get worse. Things will be complicated in a different way after the baby gets here. I'll just say that it's gonna be a lot of new things that you're going through, things that you haven't experienced before. That is really the time where your communication has to be on lock.
Morgan
You have to. It's so important. I mean, you wanna be with someone who understands you and gives you the time and hears your feelings. And makes you feel validated. Like, if every time I went to Justin and was just saying, like, I feel sad that, you know, you didn't come back home right away after work. Or like, whatever problem I can come up with in my head, like, if when I told him how I felt, I was met with, ah, that's not real. I had to do this. Like, excuses, excuses, or like, brushing off my feelings, I'm gonna feel horrible in that relationship. Yeah, like, you have to have to open up. And this is still new. You guys have been together for only two years. Yeah, like, it took me five years to really be able to set good boundaries. And everyone goes on their own timeline. But now you're here, you're having a baby, Things will get harder. Get this going now.
Kaelyn
I would also add, too. I mean, I could talk about all of this stuff forever. I learned so much in the last just from this experience. But pregnancy is inherently an imbalance of work in a relationship. One person is using all of their blood and bone and vitamins and minerals and everything in their body to build a human from scratch, and the other person just isn't doing that. And so you want to feel as, like, the pregnant part of the relationship, that the other person is still putting in work in other ways to prove that just. Just to balance out, whether it's that they're making more meals for you or that they're in charge of ordering all the whatever that you need or going out and running all the errands, the power balance just changes so much. Or, like, the balance of work, I guess, changes so much. So I would be curious in this relationship if he's putting in the work, because if he also isn't having any tough conversations with you and you're the one carrying the child, changing your diet, changing everything about your life to, like, make sure that you are carrying this child, that is also a big problem.
Morgan
Huge. I completely agree. I'm so glad you said that. Because if your partner is, like, not participating in any big way, like, I would. I personally would feel so much resentment.
Kaelyn
You just want to feel like they're working as hard as you're working. And every day feels like you ran a marathon. So the other person has to put in a lot of work.
Morgan
No, my nightmare.
Kaelyn
Not necessarily, but. But it is, like, incredibly exhausting to do.
Morgan
I mean, your body's doing so much.
Kaelyn
It's doing so much.
Morgan
I just saw this TikTok from someone and she was like, how did I know I was pregnant? And then it. If you swiped it went to a video of her husband, like, throwing up, and I went down the rabbit hole. Thanks to the comments on that. About. I'm probably going to butcher the pronunciation, but. Couvade syndrome or sympathetic pregnancy.
Kaelyn
Oh, interesting.
Morgan
And this is, like, a real phenomenon apparently driven by hormonal changes and empathy that affects 10 to 65% of partners. And like, literally, people were commenting and they're like, yeah, my husband had morning sickness the whole time. I never had it once the whole pregnancy.
Kaelyn
What? Like, I've not heard of this.
Morgan
I literally, people were like, my husband got so bloated, he looked more pregnant than me. Wow.
Kaelyn
I've heard of, like, sympathy symptoms, I guess, from pregnancy, but I thought it was more just they're also moody and thinking that they're hormonal or something, but not the actual physical symptoms.
Morgan
No physical symptoms. Nausea, vomiting, waking, fatigue, and a variety of others I could not get over. I fell down that rabbit hole so hard.
Kaelyn
Whoa.
Morgan
So hard.
Kaelyn
That's really wild.
Morgan
So wild. But okay, moving on to this next one. Okay, this one is coming from R datingadvice, couple days old, titled, he said he gives his mom back rubs every night.
Kaelyn
Let's do it.
Morgan
So I went on a third date with a guy, male, 29, and we were on the topic of me buying a home. He tells me that he has no desire to move out and lives with his mom. He smokes weed with her all the time and does bong rips with her on the weekend. He then tells me he pays little rent and it covers the groceries she buys him. And then he blurts out, I give her back rubs every night. Is this something normal to say on a third date with pretty much no context?
Kaelyn
Just contextless, Just brings it up. No
Morgan
run. Yeah.
Kaelyn
I always worry when people are too dependent on their parents and are also trying to enter a relationship. Like, are you just looking for another parent?
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
You know, like, you have this really special mommy connection that is, you know, a boy mom thing, as they say now. But, like, even aside from the. The back massages, just everything about that situation just being that we do bong
Morgan
rips on the weekend.
Kaelyn
I smoke weed with my mom every night. She doesn't make me pay rent or she doesn't make me pay a lot of rent.
Morgan
I pay a little rent, but then she takes some. Takes the money and buys my groceries.
Kaelyn
Yeah. No, because they just are going to want that from you.
Morgan
And he's 29.
Kaelyn
He's 29. 29, pushing 30.
Morgan
It's time to go grocery Shop yourself.
Kaelyn
It's time to grocery shop for.
Morgan
There's no way he's doing his own laundry. No chance.
Kaelyn
I don't know. Did you ever date anyone like that?
Morgan
No.
Kaelyn
I'm trying to think. I. Yes, you did.
Morgan
Yeah, I. I feel like there were
Kaelyn
a few guys maybe that I dated that you could tell. I mean, this was. I met my husband when I was 26, so this was definitely early 20s, so the guys were a little bit younger, where they just had someone do something for them for their whole lives.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
Up until this point, like a place you could drive and your laundry would get done. Like, you could take your laundry to your mom's house and she would just do it for you and fold it so you just didn't have to learn that skill.
Morgan
Which sounds great, but, like, you should still know how to do it.
Kaelyn
Yeah, you should definitely still know how to do your own also.
Morgan
It's so much work. Packing it up, putting in your car, driving it somewhere.
Kaelyn
I know. When you just do it yourself.
Morgan
I know.
Kaelyn
Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately. I mean, it's like Sabrina Carpenter's entire repertoire. Right. That's, like, what she sings about in all of her songs. I think everyone's, like, experienced people like this.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
What did the comment say?
Morgan
Top comment guy here. Not normal. Kind of Norman Bates esque.
Kaelyn
Yeah, it is.
Morgan
Next comment down. Why'd you have to say that now? I just imagined this dude lighting up with the corpse of his mother and then giving it a back rub.
Kaelyn
Yeah. It is that, like, obsessive.
Morgan
Yeah. Someone goes, giving a family member a back rub doesn't mean a psychotic, abusive relationship is at hand. Once again, I have to ask, what the fuck is wrong with people on this sub? I mean, I still have my mom. Like, if I go home and visit and I'm, like, sitting on the couch watching a movie with my mom, I'm kind of like, can you rub my feet?
Kaelyn
Yeah. Or, like, scratch my scalp?
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
Just play with my hair.
Morgan
I'm like, that's fine. But, like, I feel like giving your mom a back rub every night. Like, if Justin did that, I would find it weird.
Kaelyn
Yeah, I think so, too. I think so, too. Yeah, I. Again, it's. It's not even just, like, the back rubber. Who knows if there's anything, like, inherently weird about that, like, with their relationship, but just everything about how close he is to his mother at 29 years old and not wanting to.
Morgan
Because he never wants to move out. Yeah.
Kaelyn
That's the thing.
Morgan
Like, never.
Kaelyn
Never wanting to move on with your life. Because obviously you can't be in a relationship with someone like that. Like, if someone tells you, I can't ever move out of my mom's house because I just enjoy living with her, are you gonna. You're not gonna marry that person, you're not gonna have kids with that person.
Morgan
What are you gonna do?
Kaelyn
So I'd say I'm glad that he brought that up that early. Three dates in. So at least you know. And you can run and you can run. But I would say that's the only option here, is to run.
Morgan
Yeah. Never meet again.
Kaelyn
Bye. No. Bye.
Morgan
Only third date. Get out of there.
Kaelyn
Yeah. Not that much time wasted. That's okay. You're good. But just don't give him any more time.
Morgan
Don't go back.
Kaelyn
No.
Morgan
Okay. Moving on to this next one.
Kaelyn
Okay.
Morgan
This episode is brought to you by HBO. Max. If you thought HBO's euphoria was intense in high school, saddle Up. Starring Zendaya Sydney Sweeney and Jacob Elordi. Season three of Euphoria picks up five years later and life looks very different now. These characters are on their own with the freedom to make choices that can build them or break them. No matter what they're chasing money, fame, power, love or redemption, no one can escape their fate. Don't miss the third season of Euphoria, starring two time Emmy winner Zendaya. Premiering April 12th on HBO and HBO Max. With new episodes every Sunday. Story number three for us here. This is coming from R True off my chest. It is 20 days old now titled I've spent the best Christmas of my life since I got married and it's making my husband panic. I'm five months pregnant. When I found out about my pregnancy, my husband's nephew punched me hard in my stomach. Sister in law said it was a bit of a phase. But then Christmas came and mother in law called to say that the phase was still going on and since they didn't want any accidents, that I should stay home this time. My husband, to my surprise, started packing on the 21st. Oh, you wanted me to stay, he said, correctly interpreting my facial expression. I stood silent and then I said, no, you can go. He smiled sheepishly. My work colleague, unmarried older lady suggested that we could do something together and I spent Christmas with her. I don't remember the last time I was this happy during the holidays. I don't have a family and my husband's was the only one that I knew. And for the past 15 years, I've endured my passive aggressive alcoholic father in law My pretentious mother in law and golden child sister in law who peaked in high school and married the jock. I slept in, stayed in, ate whatever I wanted without anyone commenting on my body. There were no rants about how some minorities ruined it for the rest, but of course you're one of the good ones. And the latest quote I don't think your baby will have blue eyes. Like I really cared or didn't understand basic biology. I didn't miss having to wake up at 7am and if you literally missed meal hours, you needed to wait for the next meal because it is disrespectful not to be on time. I didn't miss being forced to cook weird food from my home country so they can sniff and wrinkle their noses and call it interesting. Most of all, I didn't have my husband by my side being anxious the entire stay, not wanting to rock the boat, trying to soften the blows and explain that they didn't really mean any of it. When he got home, he was anxious and me being very happy as opposed to the usual crying all the way home from his parents, made him even more anxious. I told him that I was fine and that I had a great time. He's panicking. He apologized and said that in hindsight maybe he should have stayed home with me instead, but then he wouldn't have celebrated Christmas with his family and they would definitely have been disappointed. I said nothing, just looked at his anxious face, probably with a frown that made him even more anxious. Everything is fine, I said again. Now I guess I understand why he is panicking because why have I let this go on for so long? My colleague is also a lonely woman with no family, but she is so much happier than I have been in many years. I have been thinking about this newfound freedom in loneliness since Christmas and I guess my husband is sensing it.
Kaelyn
Whoa. What a nightmare. What a nightmare family to have to deal. To deal with that for 15 years.
Morgan
Oh my God, 15 years of that. You have the strength and mental composure of. I don't. I don't even know. Like Mother Teresa.
Kaelyn
I know. And actually that you bring that up made me feel a little bit better because I was like, oh, it's very sad to have that realization when you're five months pregnant because you're about to have a child.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
And you absolutely shouldn't be with this person first and foremost and not anywhere near this family. That's horrible. But it kind of breaks my heart a little bit that she might go through motherhood alone. But it does sound like she's a strong person.
Morgan
Oh, my God. So strong.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And honestly, like. Cause my mom had three kids with three different dads, and each one was like, they're not great, you guys. They're not great. And so she kind of went through this where, like, my bio dad. I don't even think he was at the hospital should ask her that. I don't. I'm like, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. He wasn't there, which was kind of a blessing. But because he wasn't involved, my mom let my dad, Jerry, like, step up to the plate. Like, they were friends, and then he was there for her. Like, they were kind of dating on and off, kind of messy. But then, like. Because my bio dad wasn't really in the picture when I was a baby, Jerry, like, he was my dad. I started calling him dad.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And then my mom was like, well, what should we do about this? And he's like, no, I'm dad. And then he stepped up. Wow. So when you kind of create more space for other people.
Kaelyn
That's a really good point.
Morgan
Like, you find these other blessings that, like, you don't even. You might not even realize are out there. And every single day, I'm like, thank God that happened that way, because that's so beautiful. It's such, like, I'm here. I'm literally here because of him.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
In, like, a lot of different ways. But, like, it just. Like, I can't imagine not having him as my dad.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And this family, like, this baby, by the sounds of it, does have a mixed ethnicity. Like, they're saying these comments to you. I don't know if your baby's gonna have blue eyes.
Kaelyn
I know. That's why you just don't want the baby to be raised around that.
Morgan
Hell, no.
Kaelyn
No. And, like, like, them checking the baby to see how white it is, which is what I imagine that they're.
Morgan
It's. That's what it's giving.
Kaelyn
Yeah. So it's just like, no, you don't want the kid around that. That's horrible. No. That's really sad. But it's amazing that, like, you and your mom were so supported in that time anyways, because I know it can be scary. A lot of women won't leave their husbands during this time because it's so scary to be like, am I gonna have to go through this whole journey alone?
Morgan
Yeah. Oh, that would be. It'd be terrifying.
Kaelyn
Is all the responsibility gonna fall on me? That's so. It's so sad. Yeah, but, yeah, like you said, when you let that person go, you might actually open up space for someone better to come help you and support you.
Morgan
Absolutely. I know. And like, honestly, I would feel really angry at my partner. Like, I saw your face when it was like, he just started packing to go without her.
Kaelyn
Well, first of all, wait, how old was the kid at the beginning? Because that we just started at 100,
Morgan
so there's no mention how old anyone in this is. But they've. They've been together for 15 years. At the time of writing this, which is about 23 days ago now, OP was five months pregnant. So she wrote this February 20th. Five months pregnant. So at Christmas time would have been about three months pregnant.
Kaelyn
Yeah, three months pregnant. And the. And when she announced that she was pregnant, the nephew punched her.
Morgan
Nephew punched me hard in the stomach.
Kaelyn
The fact that you weren't supported by your partner during that, he didn't cut off contact with everyone that was not appalled by that also. And they said it was a phase.
Morgan
It's a phase. How old? We don't know how old this nephew is.
Kaelyn
Do kids have where they punch adults, like, with all their might? And then you just accept it and say that it's a phase. That is really upsetting to me.
Morgan
I mean, it's insane that the mother in law was like, yeah, he's still going through that phase where he might punch you in the stomach.
Kaelyn
Yeah, he might be upset and try to. So you end your pregnancy for you. So you should stay home.
Morgan
You should stay home. Not, we'll have her over in the morning and then you guys can come in the afternoon. Not like, oh, we'll split time or, hey, daughter, love you. But, you know, maybe you celebrate just your family.
Kaelyn
Yeah, your punching child can't come to my house.
Morgan
Or. Or even easier, hubby, you stay home. I'm your family. Am I not your family?
Kaelyn
No, I'm your family. And also, like, we're about to have a child together and that's your family. And if you can't even stay home for this, like, what's gonna happen in the future? No, that's horrible.
Morgan
The fact that he said he apologized and he should have maybe stayed home in hindsight, but then he would not have celebrated Christmas with his family, and they would have definitely been disappointed. Who cares?
Kaelyn
No, I'm your family. Like, that's the thing that, like, you would have celebrated with your family because you would have been home with your wife, with your pregnant wife.
Morgan
What am I?
Kaelyn
Is your family?
Morgan
What am I?
Kaelyn
Chop liver like that's.
Morgan
What am I. Oh, I'm trying to look and see if there's any other comments. Yeah.
Kaelyn
I'm like, what are the people saying? OP or what's OP saying?
Morgan
I know. Couple comments from OP I know for a fact I'm never spending another Christmas with them ever again. At least not like my husband wants. Which is basically the 21st, 22nd through the 29th. He was gone for a week. A week.
Kaelyn
When you're three months pregnant, he takes off for a week to spend time with his family.
Morgan
No nephew is six years old.
Kaelyn
It's definitely like the adults are all also at fault too for not six trying to cr. Yeah. Correct that behavior.
Morgan
Huh? There's a comment here that's just so sad. OP says I'm more lonely when I'm with his family than alone. I bet I rarely feel lonely when I'm alone.
Kaelyn
Then I think you're gonna be better off alone. I think you're gonna have a really much better time just being like actually alone.
Morgan
OP says. I will admit I've never been good with talking about feelings, but I need to be better with my baby on the way.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And that's like literally the first story too. It's like you just gotta talk about how you feel.
Kaelyn
I know. I. I know. You're never gonna trust your child if they go over to that family's house. Because if the six year old already punched you, I would always be paranoid that the six year old was going to really, really hurt my baby.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
And I would never ever want my kid alone. But it sounds like the whole family's prioritizing that kid.
Morgan
There is a comment here and it's only got 12 upvotes, but OP does respond to it. Your husband seems traumatized by his own family, constantly anxious to be put in the middle, and having difficulties navigating the situation and being fully on your side. Was he the mediator of the family? Does he show people pleasing tendencies? I think he is very scared you will leave him. And you are probably the only good thing he has. The others are his toxic family that he cannot shake. You guys should talk openly. Definitely low to no contact with the family. If your family is to have any chance of a chance to a happy future, he should get therapy to loosen the enmeshment with his family. And if he is open and not resisting, I also think you might be better off on your own. Good luck to you both.
Kaelyn
Enmeshment's a good word. I think that is the word for it. He's clearly like too enmeshed in his family.
Morgan
I mean the undying loyalty even when they say and do horrible things kind of fits into that. But OP does respond and says he is the black sheep of the family for sure. That's why I've been patient and understanding because I know the feeling of neglect and not being someone's priority. But my patience is running out fast with the pace of the arrival of my baby. I suddenly have more important matters to be understanding of. My baby has not chosen to be born. I feel already a lot of pain for them.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And we'll be honest, I've been contemplating leaving my marriage even though I love my husband very deeply. Especially after I realized how good it felt to spend the holidays on my own terms. But then I thought, divorce means I have no control over my child's exposure to his extended family. I can't have that on my conscience. I can't have them have access to my child whenever it is time for his custody. I believe that staying is my best option. Especially since I have lots of love for the father of my child and I guess he loves me too in his own way.
Kaelyn
That's gotta be so scary as a parent if you're splitting custody. I have a friend who's going through this right now. When you're splitting custody and you just send the kid, your baby, your everything into whatever chaos is happening at the other parents place or the other family's place and you have no control over that because it's not your designated time. So I, I feel like I do understand that thought process of her of like, well, I don't want to drop my child off at this families and they can just say whatever or do whatever or that six year old can just be around punching him like yeah. That is also really horrifying and really
Morgan
scary and it's a very real fear. It happens. It does. Like I went through it. I'd get dropped off at my bio dad's place and alcohol was involved and I'd get screamed at, like chased like Jerry's not your real dad. Like it I, I mean I like feel like I'm like I, I relate so much. So it's like that is absolutely a real valid fear 100%. And I think it is a lot of times why people are like, you know, I'm in this until my kid's 18 and then after that, yeah, they're an adult, they choose where they live and who they can see and.
Kaelyn
But maybe I have more control if we're together. Because then I can be the one with the final say. But if we're apart and I just send them with my. How often were you at your dad. Your bio dad's?
Morgan
It kind of depended. Like, early on, my mom would really, like, try to make it work and, like, wanted me to have a relationship. Yeah. And so he was close when I was a baby and then moved further away as I was, like, 5 to 10. And so I'd go do weekends down there, and it just got to a point where it's like, I would cry every time I had to go. I didn't want to go. I was stressed. I was. It was just, like, horrible. So then she was like, didn't force it. And then it was, like, birthdays and Christmas, which was. It was great. Yeah. Going through high school, like, you, obviously, I think I had, like, a big abandonment wound and, like, a lot of issues. And then, like, I had a little sister, and I was like, why is he a good dad for her and not for me? So, like, you're still a kid. You'll still go through those very normal things, but in the long term now, 20. 20, like, being passed. In having all this hindsight, I'm, like, so thankful that it did go the way it did versus 50. 50 split custody.
Kaelyn
Yeah. Yeah. How long do you think it took you to kind of come to terms with the way that it all went down?
Morgan
I honestly don't think I did until, like, recent years. Like, maybe I'd be curious to, like, listen to old episodes of me talking about stuff on the podcast and, like, what, like, angle I take to address similar stories that I can relate to. But I honestly think, especially in the past, like, three years and, like, when I was wedding planning and, like, realizing, like, something big, like, who do I want to walk me down the aisle and who deserves that honor? And, like, I would say, honestly, like, that really helped kind of facilitate a lot of thought and, like, processing of things, too.
Kaelyn
Yeah. Yeah.
Morgan
But, yeah, recent years, at least in the last five, it's so. But I'm 32.
Kaelyn
Like, I know.
Morgan
I mean, it's. The shit sticks with you.
Kaelyn
It's definitely something I think about a lot now. Having a kid is, oh, my gosh. These things really do stick with people their entire lives.
Morgan
Yeah. And it's just like, it's so crazy. It's like. And what you remember, too, based on, like, the stress of a moment or how crazy it was, and it's like, ugh, I had to remember that, but I don't. I don't remember getting to my puppy. Like, you know what I mean?
Kaelyn
Don't they say that too about Mo? Like, most things in life, you remember the most stressful or, like, the most emotional parts. That's kind of when your brain locks in and forms core memories. So it's unfortunate that the more stressful things are the ones that form us as people than maybe the more happy ones.
Morgan
I know.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
It's crazy.
Kaelyn
Wow.
Morgan
But couldn't, like, wouldn't change a thing. Here I am. You know, it all led me to this. It gives me, like, experience to have, but I'm like. For this person, I'm like. I do 100% see where they're coming from. And I think they've got a really good head on their shoulder.
Kaelyn
Well, it sounds like it.
Morgan
To where they'll figure it out.
Kaelyn
They're very aware of themselves. They know that they're happier not being with that family. They know they're happier when they're alone. Yeah. Just trust yourself in this.
Morgan
Trust yourself. And there's, you know, there's almost 9,000 upvotes on this right now. 8.7K. And OP does respond to quite a few comments. Like, when the baby is born, start your own tradition of just the three of you for Christmas. Sounds like your husband could do with a break, too. What's his family going to do? Be even more fucking awful. They're already there.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And OP is like, definitely the best suggestion I've gotten here from many. That's what's going to happen. Yeah.
Kaelyn
That there's maybe a path forward with the three of them as a family.
Morgan
He's got to get on board.
Kaelyn
He's got to get on board. Definitely. Like, enmeshment therapy, for sure.
Morgan
Yeah, Absolutely. But, yeah, I mean, I kind of read what OP Responded to. Someone does comment the kid punching pregnant women.
Kaelyn
Yes.
Morgan
Question mark.
Kaelyn
Get over that.
Morgan
And someone responds down. It's a phase. The homicidal psycho phase. Yeah.
Kaelyn
Yes. Yes. Oh, my son, you know, he's in his homicidal phase. It'll pass by seven.
Morgan
Like what? Someone responds. I've heard of a biting phase, but never in my life have I heard of a kid with a punch. Everyone in the breadbasket, as hard as you can phase. Yes. Maybe the kid should stay home.
Kaelyn
Well, also, I mean, just as someone who. I have personal experience, I guess, with someone that I know, whose younger brother was always told it was a phase. It was a phase. And then the older he got and the bigger he got and the stronger he got. This was definitely Not a phase. This was who he was as a person. But because all of his behavior was explained away and forgiven as a child, he never got the actual help that he needed.
Morgan
Damn.
Kaelyn
And that can have really disastrous consequences.
Morgan
Absolutely. That's a really good point. Also, the biting phase, like, the. That is crazy that. That's a phase.
Kaelyn
Yeah. And the hitting. Just like the hitting in the face phase the toddlers do.
Morgan
What do you do with the biting phase?
Kaelyn
Oh, if they bite you.
Morgan
I've seen a Reddit post where this person had a nephew. I haven't read it yet on the pod. Maybe I should whip it out someday.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
But they were like, I put hot sauce on my arm because my little cousin wouldn't stop biting me. And the family was doing nothing about it.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
So I put hot sauce on my arm.
Kaelyn
I would say, like, if. If you're the one being bitten and it's not your kid and you don't want them to bite you anymore, that's totally fine, because the hot sauce isn't going to kill them. And it's definitely going to have a negative association with biting my cousin.
Morgan
I'm like, what? I need to know. Because I'm like, you just like, you don't know what you're going to do when you're a parent. Like, do the books talk about biting? Do the. Do they talk about the biting?
Kaelyn
The books talk about.
Morgan
Do they get there?
Kaelyn
We read a lot of books. They kind of do, I guess. They talk about ways to discipline your children and they all say something different.
Morgan
You.
Kaelyn
It's so impossible.
Morgan
And that's the right thing to crazy, too.
Kaelyn
Like, I'm just going to. When we get to that phase, because my baby's nine weeks old, so he doesn't do anything and can't be disciplined because babies.
Morgan
No.
Kaelyn
Don't understand anything. And they're perfect.
Morgan
They're so good.
Kaelyn
But I'm just going to have to read a bunch of studies and be like, what is actually effective?
Morgan
What's the least damaging?
Kaelyn
What is the least damaging? Most effective.
Morgan
I know.
Kaelyn
Way to deal with this in a way that also, like, nips the behavior.
Morgan
Yeah. It's something me and my older brother have talked about a lot because, like, we grew up with a style of discipline that is frowned upon these days.
Kaelyn
Of course. I think a lot of people have that experience.
Morgan
We got spanked. And so, like, he does not spank his kids. He's very, like, gentle parenting vibes. And so it's been really cool to, like, watch how, like, he's Just gone the total opposite direction. And it's worked pretty well. His kids are good.
Kaelyn
I love that. So, yeah, I love that. Yes. You can have, like, good outcomes with a bunch of different ways of dealing with children. Absolutely. Also, every kid is just different.
Morgan
I know, but if you're a parent out there and your kid was a biter, went through the biting phase.
Kaelyn
Oh, yeah. What did you do?
Morgan
Please let us know.
Kaelyn
I was a biter.
Morgan
Were you?
Kaelyn
I was a biter. Yeah. I remember I bit my mom once because I would get really excited, and so my mom came home from work one day, and I bit my mom.
Morgan
And I remember you just ran up and chomped her.
Kaelyn
She picked me up, and I bit her on her shoulder, and it hurt her. Oh. Cause I was probably, like, three or four. Like, I was getting strong.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
And I remember she put me down, like, immediately was like, stone face put me down, turned around, and then my dad came and scooped me up and brought me upstairs. And, like, how to, Like, I remember sitting on the bed and him being like, we don't bite.
Morgan
Oh, my God.
Kaelyn
This isn't gonna happen again.
Morgan
See, I didn't go through the biting phase. I went through the phase of, like, I would go in the fridge and take sticks of butter out of the fridge. I'd bite the butter. I remember a vivid image of, like, trying to eat a napkin once. And then I would take the cat, and I would go behind the couch and give her haircuts.
Kaelyn
How bad are we talking?
Morgan
Oh, she was hacked. Wow. Little sweetheart. Her name is sweetheart. She was not looking cute.
Kaelyn
How did they get you to stop? Or was it a phase? Did you just have to grow out of it?
Morgan
I don't remember. I'm gonna have to ask.
Kaelyn
Yeah, I'm curious.
Morgan
Like, why did I stop giving the cat haircuts? She ran out of hair to cut. I don't know.
Kaelyn
Yeah. Yeah, right. I moved on to destroy other things.
Morgan
I'm like, I don't know. I went outside more. They put me outside. Kids, man.
Kaelyn
I know. I know. It's just.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
You just never know how you're going to actually have to deal with them.
Morgan
You never know. But moving on to these ones, we're starting to get a little into the scarier. The scarier side of things.
Kaelyn
Ooh. Okay. I'm excited.
Morgan
This is coming from r. Relationship advice. It is 12 days old, titled. I genuinely think my husband is a psychopath.
Kaelyn
Mm. Whoa.
Morgan
Hi, everyone. Please, I need help. I'm a 35 female, and my husband is 36. Male. We've been married for 10 years and have two boys, 7 and 5. I honestly don't know what to think anymore. About three months ago, my husband started sending me really nasty messages while he was at work. At first it was just mean comments. Stuff like telling me I'm lazy, that I'm a terrible mother, that he regrets marrying me. It was completely out of nowhere. The weird part is that when he would come home from work, he would act completely normal, like nothing happened. He would kiss me, ask me what's for dinner, play with the kids. The first time it happened, I thought maybe he was having a bad day at work. But the messages kept coming. Sometimes he would send them during the day, sometimes late at night. If he was working overtime. They got worse, too. Saying things like, I'm useless, that I'm lucky he hasn't left me yet, that no one else would want me. The first few times I confronted him, he acted confused. Like, genuinely confused. He would say things like, what messages? Or you must be misunderstanding something. I literally showed him the text on my phone, and he just stared at them and said he didn't send them, claiming that he lost his phone, which he did, but he had a new one and was still texting and calling from that number. I know it sounds ridiculous, but he didn't look guilty. He looked confused, almost scared. I thought maybe he was gaslighting me, but it was such a weird way to do it because he never got angry in person. Finally, about a month ago, I snapped. I showed him a bunch of the messages at once and told him I couldn't keep living like this. I told him if he hated me so much, he should just say it to my face. He kept insisting he didn't send them and said maybe that someone was messing with us. At that point, I was done. I packed my clothes, grabbed the kids, and went to stay with my parents, who live in the same city. They were amazing and helped so much, and I never felt luckier to have close family. Since then, the messages have continued. Same number, same horrible tone. Things like running to Mommy's house. Just proves my point. You're pathetic. You'll come crawling back eventually. I sent him screenshots back to the same number, and he still swore again that he wasn't sending them. He was just saying that he lost his phone at work and he had to get a replacement. But he still had the same number. And when he would show me his phone, I didn't see the messages. I just thought he was deleting them. Though he Said someone must have found the phone and was messaging me. Last week, though, I let the kids stay with him for a couple of weeks since he's still their dad and they miss him. He's still denying everything. Says he never sent those messages and that he thinks someone is still using his old phone. Meanwhile, the texts haven't stopped. At this point, I don't even know what to believe anymore. Either he's lying in my face or something really weird is going on. Has anyone ever dealt with something similar? I feel like I'm going insane and I don't know what to believe. We genuinely had the most perfect relationship before all of this. I don't know what to do. I'm scared I'm breaking my family apart for no good reason. But some of the texts have been so horrible I can't even include them on here.
Kaelyn
This is like horror movie level stuff.
Morgan
Insane.
Kaelyn
I. This is something that would break me a little bit of. I. I don't know what's real or what's not real, but I think you need to get down to a T Mobile store immediately and ask them, yes, what's going on with the phones? Like, is this even possible? I think that would be my first reaction would to be like, is this, is this even possible? Like, if you did lose your phone.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
Can someone be texting me on. I. I don't know if like she's being texted on WhatsApp or if it's just like I'm the. The iPhone messages or what, but I would really need clarity on what is even possible.
Morgan
Yeah. Because with imessage you can be logged in from multiple different devices and it will still show from the number. Like I text on my computer and it still shows normal.
Kaelyn
Could be on the computer.
Morgan
Someone could have found that phone. It's interesting like, because like, with iPhone you can lock the phone as like lost or stolen. I'm sure with Android and other devices you can do the same thing. So why didn't he lock it? Like you can even like, I can like remotely wipe my phone that I lost. Like, yeah.
Kaelyn
Did he not do that? Did he not go to the Genius Bar and have them shut down the other phone properly? Or like, why a new phone on the Internet or something? Yeah.
Morgan
Or like, even for him, it's like your wife is coming to you being like, why are you sending me this?
Kaelyn
She's being harassed.
Morgan
She's being harassed.
Kaelyn
This is really serious.
Morgan
Why aren't you going and being like, I need to change my number. Maybe I need to do Something I.
Kaelyn
Did you watch the Catfish documentary? The like, Unknown Number Catfish Netflix documentary? Yes, you did. You must have. About the teenage girl that's getting all the text messages. No.
Morgan
You talked to me about it, but I never watched it.
Kaelyn
Oh my gosh, Morgan, you have to watch the things I ask you to watch.
Morgan
No, you give me so many. I don't know how you find the text time to watch all this stuff.
Kaelyn
I'm just like constantly, like turning through documentaries.
Morgan
If you want reviews and like people talking about the most up to date insane documentaries from cruise ship murders to catfish things, go follow kin on Instagram like you're on it. You. You are just. It's your job. You're on it.
Kaelyn
Yeah, I do love a shocking documentary. So I don't even want to say too much about this because it is really wild what they figure out.
Morgan
But the top comment mentions it.
Kaelyn
Yes, that's what I'm saying. Like this. It just immediately struck that note. Or like that cord in my brain. But I won't spoil anything. But the premise is that this teen girl does start getting a lot of really scary messages and everyone in her life is really trying to figure out what's going on. But the fact that the husband is just like, I don't know, it wasn't me, and then kind of ignores it is also concerning to me because this is real harassment. Clearly she's feeling like she's going insane or she doesn't know what to do. Trust that can really, really psychologically damage a person. And also she left the house to
Morgan
go stay where at her sister, parents, family.
Kaelyn
So, like, as a partner and someone's going through that, if that truly is not you and someone's using your identity to send these hateful messages to your wife, like, you gotta help her figure it out.
Morgan
Like, I would want to clear my name.
Kaelyn
I know exactly, which kind of makes me wonder if he is doing it.
Morgan
That's why I'm like, what the? Like, I would want to clear my name. Like, this is not me. Like, if someone was sending crazy stuff to anyone, my partner, my friends, I. I would, I would do anything. I would change my number despite having it since like the fifth grade. I would go nuts.
Kaelyn
But if it is him, because have you dealt with stories like this before? I feel like you're kind of more wrapped up in like, the psychology of people. But no, someone who is, I don't know, playing the good guy at home and then going to work and texting whole horrible things to his own wife, deleting the messages off his phone so he can come back and be like, see, it wasn't me. That's some sort of abusive control situation or some. I don't even know if.
Morgan
If it is him. Yeah, no, that's like, severe psychological abuse. Yeah. It's almost like a more extreme form of, like, nagging to get someone to then, like, work harder for your approval.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
Like, to say things like, you're pathetic, you'll come crawling back to eventually. Like, some of it was kind of like, are you trying to, like, keep me under your thumb? And, like, I need to seek your validation more. Yeah. But then some of it where it's like, running to Mommy's just proves my point. I don't know, it's interesting.
Kaelyn
I like, is he having an affair? And the. He logged into his iPhone, whatever, like, messages on her computer. Now she's sending this hateful stuff as a way to separate them. Or is he trying to, like, push her to divorce him? Or is it some sort of, like, you were saying, negging, where I want you to stay with me, but I want you to really fight for my affection. So I'm, like, planting the seed of doubt. What do you think? What does your gut say, if it's him or if it's someone else?
Morgan
I can't really tell you my gut because we get an update.
Kaelyn
Okay. Okay.
Morgan
And I already know what happens, so I've been like. I've been trying to, like. I'm like, I can't. I can't ruin it.
Kaelyn
Okay.
Morgan
I will say I'm gonna read the top comment after the update, and it does give a spoiler for that doc, but I will make a very clear spoiler warning so you can skip. But okay, let's get in to the update. I did a lot more research and some comments helped me investigate. I think I know how the messages are happening from multiple devices because we message using WhatsApp. After doing some research, it does allow for multiple devices to be connected to the same account, so it is possible someone else could be doing it from his lost phone. But overnight, the messages didn't slow down. They actually got worse. They weren't just insults anymore. Some of them started to feel like threats. I was terrified. Things about how I would regret leaving, and some a lot worse. I barely slept last night because of it. At one point late last night, I finally texted back and I said that if the messages didn't stop, I was going to the police. I know a lot of people said not to do this, but I couldn't take it anymore. And I knew that whether it was my husband or not, the person doing this would at least see it. I know I made a lot of people angry that I just couldn't make up my mind on what to do. But here's your reminder. This is my husband, the man I loved unconditionally for over 10 years. Dumping him and blocking him out of nowhere isn't an option. We built a family and a life together. My life isn't a movie. I can't just cut the last 10 years out like many of you insinuated, as well as calling me a liar, an attention seeker, and pointing out every mistake I made. I know I posted online for help and I need to accept some hate, but I fear sometimes people on Reddit can just go too far. And I really saw that over the last day. Please think of the harm you cause when you leave a comment. This isn't just social media, it's my current real life and I know many of you that wrote these probably wouldn't say it to my face now. The messages didn't stop. If anything, they got more aggressive. At that point I was convinced it had to be him and I decided to be true to my word and I actually went to the police station. I saw some comments about being able to track a device to a small location and you can ask for that if you have the information about the phone which I got from my husband and are on the phone plan which I am on. The worst thing about all of this is that me contacting him about the kids and any information also went to whoever was sending the horrible messages. I was terrified about putting them in danger and maybe making who was doing this more angry. So I knew it was urgent to get help. At the station they were able to track the missing phone. I claimed it was just lost because at the time I didn't know if I was going to file charges because it was my husband's phone. They actually gave me the location and the officer who helped was very nice. The address was very familiar and quite close to our house, so I decided to drive past to see where it was from. Turns out I had been to one of my husband's workplace parties there and the co worker that lives there I'm actually quite close to. I was angry and honestly just exhausted from it all. The kids were with him so I went over early to pick them up before he expected me. My mom came with me because I didn't want to go alone. She took the boys so I could talk to him Privately, I told him I knew one of his co workers had his old phone and how I was disgusted that she was ever someone I considered a friend. By this point, I was absolutely breaking down. When I told him this, he just looked shocked. So I asked, why was his phone at her house? Yeah, and how did she know your password? He just said maybe she took it from work. And I don't know how she knew, but after reading some comments, I was done with these playing it down excuses. The answer didn't sit right with me at all. Something about the whole situation felt off. The messages had been too personal. Whoever was sending them knew things that only someone very close to us would have known. So I pushed harder. It turns out the co worker, 30, female, wasn't just a co worker.
Kaelyn
There it is.
Morgan
She had been having an affair with my husband for over a year.
Kaelyn
Oh, my God.
Morgan
He tried to claim it wasn't serious, but I was sick of him making me feel like I was overreacting. I know people said this was a possibility, but I could just never bring myself to believe it. I've never felt so betrayed. Everything made sense. She knew details about our relationship, our house, our routine, the kids. Things that would be impossible for a stranger to know. All because my husband was telling her everything. I don't know exactly how she ended up with his old phone. He claims he lost it at work and thinks that she took it. I honestly don't know what to believe anymore. All I know is that the messages kept coming from that device and they just kept getting worse. Who knows how far she would have gone? Apparently, my husband lost his phone and whoever kept using it. Meanwhile, he'd gotten a replacement phone, but the old phone was still logged into WhatsApp, so technically, both phones were tied to the same account. And I didn't even realize WhatsApp wasn't the same as messages and things like this can happen. Part of me thinks there's no way he didn't realize the messages were constant. It's hard for me to believe he was completely unaware of what she was doing. Maybe I'm wrong, but trust in him is completely gone. At this point, I've officially decided to start the process for filing for divorce. This isn't the man I thought I married. And after everything that's happened, I don't feel safe around him anymore. For now, I'm staying with my parents, with the kids. I don't trust him around them right now. And he has seemed accepting over this because of the affair. And he still has to work the fact that someone who smiled in my face, sat in our home and acted like my friend was secretly involved with my husband for over a year and then spent time tormenting me, pretending to be him is honestly one of the most disturbing things I've ever experienced. And I still can't even wrap my head around it. I still have this horrible feeling that there's more to the story than either of them is admitting. All I know is that I've lost all trust for him, and no amount of counseling could change that. We are done. Thank you all so much for the help. I'm genuinely scared what I would have done if I didn't reach out, because I never expected this from him. I don't know if there will be another update. I have a lot of recovering to do. I feel like I just lost over 10 years of my life to a lie of a man, and I need to get used to the idea of starting fresh. I'm so grateful to have my family, and knowing they will be here to support me and the boys through this is the only thing that brings me comfort. There's obviously still a lot more I have to sort out, but I'm safe now. I just want to put the safety of me and the boys first. This will be my final update. Thank you all so much.
Kaelyn
I had a feeling it was something like.
Morgan
How did you know?
Kaelyn
I don't know.
Morgan
I think I like you. Literally, I just watched the wheels turn, and you just, like, you just. You literally clocked it to a T.
Kaelyn
Yeah, well, I was like, who would be sending those kinds of messages? Well, there is that one true crime case, and I'm going to absolutely butcher it, but I can Google. Do you know which one I'm talking about?
Morgan
What is it about?
Kaelyn
Oh, my gosh. Let me describe it to you. My brain doesn't work anymore since I had a child, but one woman was getting really hateful messages, and I believe that. Oh, my gosh, he was like a cop, and he was dating two women, and one of them killed the other one. But she was getting really scary messages, and there's, like, a huge twist to it, and I don't remember what the twist was at this point.
Morgan
She went on one date. One date. And then bombarded him with 65,000 text messages.
Kaelyn
Yes.
Morgan
You think you've had a bad date? I'm pretty sure it went nothing like this. A Phoenix man went on a date. One date with a woman he met online. Didn't go well. Not only was there a threat, but she blocked him 65,000 text messages.
Kaelyn
Yes.
Morgan
Insane.
Kaelyn
Yes. Yes. And so, basically, I was just trying to think of, like, who would have been sending those kinds of messages if it wasn't him.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
And it would be someone who didn't want them together. And I think the most obvious person is an affair partner and a fair partner.
Morgan
Well, it's interesting, too, because she tried to make it look like it was still potentially him.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
Which is kind of like, as an affair partner, all she had to do is tell her, hey, your husband's having an affair for a year with me. And she probably still would have been done. But the fact that she did it this way, it's almost like she did it this way because maybe she knew he was too dumb to figure it out or do anything to stop it. But then it's like, well, he wouldn't be mad at me. Because she left you because she thought you were sending these messages. It's almost like that plausible deniability in it all where it's like, well, you still love me. Right.
Kaelyn
Or I wonder if she was afraid that if. Even if she told the wife, hey, your husband's having an affair with me. Well, yeah. Then the husband would be mad at her.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
And maybe would break things off with her. Like, why did you implode my entire life over this affair we've been having? And so maybe that's why. Yeah. Maybe she was trying to push the wife to divorce the wife.
Morgan
Like, I don't trust you. You're sending me these messages. I know it's you.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And he. In his head, I just lost my phone at work. I don't know what this is.
Kaelyn
Yes.
Morgan
You're not gonna believe me. Well, fine. Doesn't matter. I got this other woman.
Kaelyn
Yeah. We can get divorced, and I can actually go start a life with this other woman is probably what that woman was thinking.
Morgan
I think that's exactly what she was thinking.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
Diabolical.
Kaelyn
So diabolical.
Morgan
Diabolical.
Kaelyn
So now that woman. I wonder if that woman's gonna get what she wants, though, because the original wife is now filing for divorce. Done. I hate stories like this. If the husband goes and ends up just, like, being with this woman.
Morgan
I mean, now that he knows.
Kaelyn
Yeah, True.
Morgan
Hopefully. Hope that hopefully he's not this gummy
Kaelyn
with someone like that. But that's so scary. I mean, one of the scariest parts about the whole story, too, is just the idea that, yeah, your husband's having an affair is a physical thing. Like, that sucks to hear about. But the. He is Telling this woman everything about
Morgan
your children, intimate details of your life.
Kaelyn
Details about your life. She's starting to feel maybe, like, parasocial with your kids because she knows so much about them.
Morgan
Oh, no. She's probably seeing your kids and planning how she's going to be their new mommy.
Kaelyn
Oh, that just makes my blood boil that that is such a violation. All of it's a violation, but that there's something specifically about that of, like, you know, all these intimate details about my life now.
Morgan
It makes me sick.
Kaelyn
It's really, really upsetting.
Morgan
It's crazy.
Kaelyn
I'm glad she went and talked to a professional on how phones work, though, because, yeah, you're just going to keep getting lied to.
Morgan
I know.
Kaelyn
You have to go actually figure out how the phones work.
Morgan
Well, and iPhones can do that, too. Like, you can be logged in on multiple devices. I've had multiple phones, like, because I had a tht iPhone. And then, like, my phone, you can be logged in on multiple devices. Like, it's. It's a common thing, but. Yeah, but WhatsApp is. It's interesting. It's so. Oh, I'm so glad she went in and talked to the police.
Kaelyn
Have you ever had anyone, like, get your number or anything or just, I don't know, text pretending to be someone else because you.
Morgan
I get a lot of scam texts now. Just like, this is the post office. Please pay for a package.
Kaelyn
Hi, this is Veronica. Nice meeting you. The other day, I get that type of message, Toll roads.
Morgan
The toll road scam.
Kaelyn
What's that one?
Morgan
Oh, they'll tell you you have an unpaid toll. Oh. And I'm like, no, I don't. I have a fast pass.
Kaelyn
Yeah, but they just assume people are going to click that link, and you can't click.
Morgan
And then you get fished.
Kaelyn
And then you get fished.
Morgan
Yeah, it's crazy.
Kaelyn
I hate this one. Easy.
Morgan
These days, it is really scary. Everyone needs to start talking about the scams, though. So if we talk about the scams and what to look out for, then we. We know more about the scams and don't fall for them.
Kaelyn
Yeah, I got some scam insurance. This was back because I left a job in. In California, we have cobra. So COBRA reaches out to you once you lose a job, leave a job, whatever, to extend your insurance. And somewhere in between, like calling cobra, setting this up like a scam company called me and realized, because they must have, like, bought some sort of list, list of people who are eligible for cobra. And I didn't even realize because you're just talking on the phone so much, and, like, numbers are calling you and they're saying they'. Cobra. So this one number had slipped in. In the middle of me processing my insurance or like, I guess in between calls or something, they called me. I signed up for the insurance with them, and it was so fast, and I felt like such an idiot. I was like, how could I not have caught this? And I called. When I finally was getting real insurance, I called Blue Shield to and I told them what happened. I was like, I got scammed. And the guy working there was like, I just started at this job, and actually, I just got scammed. Even applying for jobs. He's like, I feel you so much on this. Like, don't worry about it. You're not an idiot.
Morgan
Oh, my God.
Kaelyn
First of all, with insurance, we get a lot of people calling saying they got scammed. But he was like, I fully, like, interviewed online with a scam company. They gave me a scam job, and I sent them my information, and they stole, like, a thousand bucks from me. And I was like, you're joking. He was like, yeah, it's really scary out there. It was.
Morgan
Oh, my God.
Kaelyn
But I think more people our age are getting scammed than would maybe admit. Like, I don't know. I've heard so many stories. And they're getting smarter.
Morgan
They are.
Kaelyn
It's not just our parents or, like, people. People on Facebook getting scammed.
Morgan
I know. I keep seeing a lot of people post on Reddit about how their parents are falling victim to the scam where, like, a celebrity will message them.
Kaelyn
Oh, my mom has a friend that's out $10,000 because she's in a relationship with Johnny Depp. Depp online? Yeah. No, she lives in Florida somewhere, and apparently Johnny Depp has been messaging her.
Morgan
Literally. I, like, saw someone. They were like, my mom thinks she's dating Brad Pitt and has sent him, like, 40K.
Kaelyn
Why is Brad Pitt asking you for money? The same way that, like, when we were little, our parents would say, like, adults never ask kids for directions. That's not. I'm like, celebrities don't ask moms in the middle of Florida for money. $40,000.
Morgan
Why?
Kaelyn
Like, come on.
Morgan
I know, but in, like, you can talk to your parents. Like, the one person on the subreddit was like, my mom is very aware. She, like, knows about all these other scams and blah, blah, blah, but yet, like, she genuinely believes this. And I'm like, have you had to
Kaelyn
have, like, the AI conversation with your. I'll get like, TikToks from my mom that are clearly AI. And I tell her, like, hey, just so you know, this isn't a real video. This is an AI little girl. And she goes, you're taking the fun out of it. She's mad at me for telling her it's AI.
Morgan
It. Honestly, I just saw a video where people are like, AI is going to actually make people not want to be online anymore because it's such. You don't know what to believe. And a lot of it's garbage. And so I'm like. I'm kind of excited about that potential because whatever.
Kaelyn
A return to the earth. A return to. To grass a little bit. Yeah.
Morgan
But, like, for me, like, it's so hard to decipher. Like, even me, I'm online a lot. Like, that one bunny video with the bunnies bouncing on the trampoline, did it get you? It got me. Yeah, A lot of them do. And it's. It's scary. And so I even think, like, it's ridiculous. Like, I saw this one person, it was like a TikTok sponsored ad, and they were like, this isn't even me recording a podcast. It's actually AI. And I'm like, why. Why would you put your. Why you putting yourself out of a job?
Kaelyn
What are you doing? What are you doing?
Morgan
So rest assured, I will never replicate or duplicate myself using technology. I'm always sitting in this chair. It's insane.
Kaelyn
Yeah. I wonder with now my son if he's gonna grow up in a world where when he opens his phone, he's like, this is the fake place. Like, this is the place where nothing is real. And maybe that's healthier in a way, because now we, you know, you open your phone and you're reading stuff, you just assume it's real. You go on Reddit or you go on YouTube. And, like, the videos you see, you assume that they're real. But maybe one day there's gonna be kind of a flipping point where just. You just assume everything you see on your phone is fake.
Morgan
Yeah, that's kind of. I'm like, it's. It's sad, but I'm like, I'm already getting there. Yeah, I'm already getting there.
Kaelyn
It is definitely heading in that direction.
Morgan
It's insane. Speaking about phones and videos, I've got another doozy for us.
Kaelyn
All right, let's do it.
Morgan
I've got a doozy.
Kaelyn
These have all kind of been doozies.
Morgan
All of them. All of them.
Kaelyn
I will read.
Morgan
Okay, here's the spoiler okay. So that if you don't want the spoiler on that Netflix doc because I'm gonna read the top comment. So if you don't want it, skip, skip, skip, skip. Top comment on that one with 6k upvotes. This reminds me of that Netflix documentary where the mom was sending texts to bully the daughter, but they didn't know it was her next comment. Oh, my God. Exactly. She was bullying the daughter and then comforting her and pretending to care. That was like the top comment before we got an update.
Kaelyn
No, that's exactly what I was thinking about. Which, you know, the documentary poises it to be like, oh, the mom was doing this to the daughter so the daughter would need her more. But you know what they left out of the documentary, Morgan? How much the mom was obsessed with the daughter's boyfriend, who was the one. Right. The texts were initially saying, like, your boyfriend doesn't care about you, he hates you, blah, blah, blah, he's with me, he's. I'm giving him a blowjob right now. This is the mom texting the daughter all of this. But if you read the letter, the long form article on the cut actually about this case, you realize like, the mom was asking the. I think his name was Owen, the boyfriend. The mom was asking owen's parents, a 13 year old boy, if she could come to Florida with them for. To go watch his sports tournament. The mom had started coaching his track and field team for no reason. She didn't have a son on the team. She just wanted to coach Owen's team. The mom was like constantly trying to put herself closer to this.
Morgan
They didn't mention any of that.
Kaelyn
They talk about it in the doc, but they, they briefly mention it in the doc, but there's a moment where they interview Owen's mom and Owen's mom says something like, I always felt like Kendra was too obsessed with my son. And then they don't really follow that path a whole lot.
Morgan
Oh, that's probably the most concerning path you could have followed.
Kaelyn
A lot of the parents really believed that the, the true heart of what the mom was doing was her obsession with this teen boy, not her desire to get closer to her daughter because she texted her daughter thousands of times, kill yourself. You don't do that when you need your daughter to rely on you. You don't like, you know, it's just so unhinged.
Morgan
I hope she like emancipated herself and like, does not talk to her mom anymore.
Kaelyn
It's sad. In the documentary, you really see the daughter get closer to her mom after that because, I mean, she's 17 years old by the end of the doc, by the end of this all coming out. And what do you do when it's your parent and you've been lied to and you don't even know what's real and what's not? And I, I, I don't know if things have changed because the daughter's even older now.
Morgan
So, like, hopefully, hopefully she, like, I mean, you would need some insane therapy after that, so.
Kaelyn
Oh, my God, absolutely.
Morgan
Hopefully she is following that and getting therapy and. Yeah. Wow. Okay, now I'm gonna watch it. Now you've got me convinced.
Kaelyn
You have to. I mean, even though you know the spoiler now, it's still worth it. No, it's insane, that type of dynamic.
Morgan
I just want to see how she, like, tries to, like, genuinely be like I was doing it, because I want to be. I, like, I want to see it. Yeah, you want to see it.
Kaelyn
They interview her in the documentary. They, she tells her side of the story. It's, it's worth it to watch for that. Oh, my God. But then read the article too, so you get like the full, full scope.
Morgan
Yeah, I'm just like, I'm sitting here.
Kaelyn
This is worth knowing.
Morgan
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Kaelyn
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Morgan
Mind blown. And this next one, it's got me a little mind blown too. So this is coming from r off my chest, two weeks old right now. And it's titled. I sent a video that ruined my husband's life in college. My husband and I started dating in college. At the time, he was in a frat that was pretty intense. But I really didn't know the extent of what went on in there. At first they were always sus about things and had a bad rep slash people gossiping about them. But I assumed it was typical frat stuff. One night during pledging season, he came over with a couple of friends also in the frat, and they started talking about something that happened with one of the new guys. They were all hammered and passing a phone around, watching a video. I asked what was going on, and one of them showed it to me. It was a pledge sitting on the floor with a bunch of brothers yelling at him to keep drinking. I'm talking like chugging bottle after bottle, and he was already, clearly already out of it. I recognized my husband, then boyfriend's voice as being one of the main guys in the video. The One doing the yelling and it made my stomach drop. The next day I found out that the kid ended up in the hospital after someone found him lying outside. It got really serious. He was very sick. I remember sitting in my dorm feeling sick thinking about it. A few days later, someone in the group chat sent the video again and they were trying to do damage control. I don't even remember why I saved it, but I did. I stared at it for a while and I went back and forth on what to do. I ended up anonymously sending it to the school's public safety email and also to the kids parents on Facebook Messenger. After some research, I made a fake account and I didn't associate it with my name anywhere. I remember shaking the whole time and for good reason because everything blew up. After that, the school started an investigation, the video got around, became a big scandal and a bunch of guys got in trouble. My husband got expelled and the frat shut down. He was devastated and furious. Nothing came of it legally. The kid didn't want to press charges, Slash wouldn't talk and no one else's face was shown. So I guess there wasn't enough proof. To this day, my husband is still bitter and talks about how someone snitched and ruined his life. He always says that if he ever found out who leaked the video, he would destroy them. He thinks it was one of the pledges standing up for their friend and has never suspected me. And yes, we actually stayed together after all of that, which probably sounds crazy. I don't know if it was my guilty conscience or what made me stay with him. But he comes from a rich family, so at least financially, his life really didn't fall apart in the way it could have. His parents set him up with different opportunities from their connections over the years. Still, he was never able to graduate college or get the kind of job that he had hoped for. The whole thing followed him around for a long time. We're married with kids now and it's been years, but every once in a while the topic comes up again. Usually when we hear about a hazing story in the news, he'll go on a tangent about how someone betrayed him and how much he hates the person. I just sit there quietly. But being a mom myself now, my mind thinks about the kid on the floor, barely conscious, with everyone laughing and keeping on forcing beers on him. If I hadn't sent the video, nothing probably would have happened. I stand by it, and if I could go back, I would do it again. And I know one thing for sure. Our sons will never be allowed to join a frat.
Kaelyn
I'm so glad she sent the video to public safety and to that kid's parents. But I do fear that there's also something deeply wrong with her as well, because you married this person after you know that he's capable of that, and he, like, I wonder if there's some sort of dynamic where she likes that she has control. Control, yeah. Oh, I have this secret where I ruined your life, and I'm always gonna have that over you. But also, like, this guy, like, you should. Hazing is horrible. Horrible. I'd like to say that it's better now than it has been, but I don't think that's the case. I think it's better always been bad. And anyone who has that deep inside of them, that darkness that can be brought out to do that to another kid. It's just, like, so upsetting.
Morgan
Yeah. And you're bordering on, like, genuinely, like, a true crime kind of, like, behavior.
Kaelyn
There's so many cases where kids have died. There was a.
Morgan
Even in California.
Kaelyn
I believe it was California. There were two girls in a sorority that were, I want to say, handcuffed to each other and then walked out into the sea, and then they drowned. Because what do you think happens when you tie two people together and put them in the ocean? They die.
Morgan
No. This is horrific.
Kaelyn
And it's all in the name of sisterhood or brotherhood, whatever.
Morgan
No, they wouldn't do this to you.
Kaelyn
No.
Morgan
I was in a sorority. We did not. I did. I did not have any hazing. There was no hazing in my sorority.
Kaelyn
No. Same. There were a lot of.
Morgan
We were in the same one, weren't we Kappa? Oh, nope. I was off of.
Kaelyn
Oh, my gosh.
Morgan
Yeah. The little bears. Yeah.
Kaelyn
There were really strict rules at my school about hazing, and kids still got around it, figured out ways to do it to each other. But one fraternity even got kicked off of campus when I was at school for some really bad stuff that went down.
Morgan
It's insane. Yeah. Your friends will not torture you and put you through stuff like this. Like, it's insane. But, yeah, I'm like. She's definitely like, there's some cognitive disconnect here. To be like, I'm so happy I sent the video because he's such a horrible person, but also, I'm going to
Kaelyn
marry you and have children with you, and I'm always going to know that I'm the one that sent the video. I'm. And again, I'm very glad she did that. I think everyone involved should have gotten in trouble. I'm sad that the kid didn't press charges, but ultimately that was up to him. Totally get that. But interesting that you married him.
Morgan
What is that?
Kaelyn
And now you have children.
Morgan
Like, how do you. How are you that disconnected?
Kaelyn
I know that's. I'm just thinking that there's something going on there. I don't know about that because I don't know now I'm worried for your children.
Morgan
Literally same. And the top comment is very curious as well. The top comment, 750 upvotes. I want to know the story of why, how you married him after knowing this.
Kaelyn
Okay. I'm glad I'm not the only one
Morgan
thinking that someone goes, he's rich and she's a gold digger.
Kaelyn
I mean, she did bring up his job.
Morgan
She mentioned. Definitely she mentioned it.
Kaelyn
But also, he's now not able to get the jobs that he wanted to get because he didn't finish his degree. And like, I think there's more to it than that.
Morgan
I mean, there is a comment from OP in response to the top comment. He did a huge public proposal at his birthday party with his whole family watching. So I kind of just froze and said yes, probably on purpose because he knew I wouldn't say no like that. I have felt numb inside ever since.
Kaelyn
I'm not gonna feel bad for you. I don't know. I just. We have a lot more choices in life than just, oh, it was so public that I said yes. And now I'm still, still married to him and also decided to have kids with him. Like, it just feels like you're not taking any accountability for any of this.
Morgan
No. And it doesn't show, like, any growth on his part if he's still festering on this. So it's like you can't even say, he's grown up. He's different. He's a better person. Like, he's still like, actively, like, if I find out who it is. Yes.
Kaelyn
He's not sad that he hurt a kid and almost led to that person's death. He's bad that he got caught. That is a deep seated behavior that I think gets mapped onto a bunch of different behaviors in your life or like a bunch of different things that you do in your life. Right. You just are mad when you get caught. You're not upset that you actually did something horrible. And yeah, he's still that person. And you have more agency in your life. This poster than I think you're, like, willing to admit.
Morgan
I completely Agree. The comment that kind of stands out speaking to that too is like one from this person that says, your husband is a monster. And I say is not was because the only response or reflection on the incident from him has been rage.
Kaelyn
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. I definitely agree with that. No growth, like you said.
Morgan
No. And like, OP has another comment here in response to someone where OP says, I don't feel bad for him now. I think what he did is disgusting. I used to stupidly have a guilty conscience and that is what got me stuck with him. But I'm playing the long game and I have a plan if it ever comes out. See, does that mean no?
Kaelyn
I know, but that's what I'm saying. Like, I'm playing the long game. Like, there is something here. There's something she's working towards or some sort of manipulation kink that she has. I don't know.
Morgan
Do you watch that show on Hulu, Tell Me Lies?
Kaelyn
No, I haven't. I'm not caught up on it.
Morgan
I'm like, is this giving Steven and Lucy, like, what? What are we dealing with here? Oh, like what, Are they both just, like, mentally unhinged?
Kaelyn
I think so.
Morgan
I have a plan if it ever comes out.
Kaelyn
Maybe something more to it.
Morgan
What does that mean?
Kaelyn
Also, what's your plan?
Morgan
What's your plan?
Kaelyn
Did she ever say in the comments,
Morgan
a lot of people are asking, like, why would you even mention the richness?
Kaelyn
Yeah, exactly.
Morgan
And Opie is like, I thought his family being rich was important context because it shows how rich kids get away with things like this. It's a burner account. People are saying. I'm already saying too much with the story alone. So I'm not trying to give any more details. I'm not defending him. Read my other comments. I appreciate your concern, but I'm not going to delete my post. I'm tired of holding it in and a part of me doesn't care anymore if he finds out. I think he deserves the pain of finding out that it was someone he loves who was a traitor to him. He may have gotten off easy on this, but if he were to try anything on me, he wouldn't.
Kaelyn
Yeah, okay. So she. It's also about the long game of no. I want him to know that his entire life has been a lie and that his wife was one that did it and that betrayal will be the punishment.
Morgan
The kids were unintentional. I'm not really attracted to my husband at all because of what he did and would choose not to sleep with him. But I have to keep the act up.
Kaelyn
Girl, get a hobby a little bit. Do you agree that, like, you're wasting a lot of time on this?
Morgan
He does not know he is not being punished. It's only if he were to ever find out. So let that day be today.
Kaelyn
Also, he got expelled. There was at least some punishment to it. Like, it's not up to you to be the judge, jury, and executioner on this one.
Morgan
Yes.
Kaelyn
Yeah, get out of there. Yeah, just get. Just leave and go live your life. You know what the. This is really unhinged.
Morgan
I didn't get into the comments when I read this.
Kaelyn
This was gonna go exactly where it went.
Morgan
It went there.
Kaelyn
Wow.
Morgan
It went there.
Kaelyn
I'm playing the long game. Oh, my goodness.
Morgan
Get divorced. Yeah. Get that alimony.
Kaelyn
Just get out of there.
Morgan
Get out of there.
Kaelyn
Wow.
Morgan
Wow is right.
Kaelyn
I wonder if she is gonna update this ever if she goes through with her entire plan.
Morgan
I hope so. I'm gonna start following the account. We'll see.
Kaelyn
Yeah. Get those updates.
Morgan
We'll see. I did message a couple of the people today asking for updates. So I sat over here. I'm like, please let me know how that went.
Kaelyn
Do people ever respond to you with the updates that way?
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
Very interesting. I saw your one about the cheese.
Morgan
The cheese. I know. How disappointing. Incinerated.
Kaelyn
But what did they say? It was like an act of vengeance.
Morgan
An act of someone sabotage.
Kaelyn
Sabotaging them by burning all the cheese.
Morgan
I'm like, what do you mean?
Kaelyn
What's going on?
Morgan
The Department of Health sabotaged you.
Kaelyn
Yeah. With your, like, illegal cheese operation.
Morgan
I know. And I really wanted that cheese. Can anyone in Canada send me cheese? I had some comments that people were like, I live near the Oxford County Cheese trail.
Kaelyn
No way.
Morgan
Send me cheese. Someone said, I live in cheese capital in Wisconsin. Send me cheese.
Kaelyn
That might be easier. I do wonder if there's going to be issues sending cheese cross borders. Yeah, I know.
Morgan
You can't send fruit. I got stopped by one of the dogs in the airport once.
Kaelyn
Really?
Morgan
They sniffed me out.
Kaelyn
What'd you have on you?
Morgan
I had a sandwich from Joe and the juice that had a tomato in it. And you cannot bring fruit into the country. So that beagle sniffed out that tomato.
Kaelyn
Even bring a slice of tomato on a sandwich you bought in the airplane.
Morgan
Poor. You cannot.
Kaelyn
No, I did not know that.
Morgan
And then they said, do you have any other items in your bag? And I said, no. And then they put my stuff through this crazy X ray machine. Different X ray than normal. TSA it was nuts.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And they found a banana and then I got even more trouble. Oh my gosh, I forgot.
Kaelyn
My mother in law just came and visited and she said they didn't even ask her to. You can bring liquids on planes. Again, like everyone was bringing their water bottles and she dumped hers out and they're like, oh, you don't have to do that anymore.
Morgan
That seems crazy.
Kaelyn
Which, yeah, I didn't realize it's either a new rule that just got in in place or I don't know.
Morgan
Huh.
Kaelyn
Yeah, interesting. So, so interesting. You couldn't even bring a tomato and now they're bringing full water bottles.
Morgan
A tomato.
Kaelyn
Unfair.
Morgan
Apparently bugs can harbor in them and then hatch. And I'm like, I sure hope not because I just ate.
Kaelyn
Because I'm eating this one ate that.
Morgan
So please don't tell me that. But okay, going on to this next one. This one is coming actually from the let's Not Meet subreddit. Good. Buckle up. It's titled Am I Overreacting or Is my mailman creepy? I, 23, female, live alone in a decently nice apartment in a nice neighborhood for two years now. For the most part, the mail gets delivered to the mailboxes at the front entrance of the building. Occasionally, packages are delivered straight to the apartment doors. And it's pretty convenient. Well, about a year ago, I was home from work during the day because I took the afternoon off to go to a doctor's appointment. The doorbell rang and I have a ring camera. I saw it was the mailman, so I answered. I have this whole exchange on video. He was maybe in his 30s, white, short, 5 5ish, very large glasses, really disheveled, thin hair. I opened the door, smiled and said, thanks so much and went to take the package. He stopped and stared at me like something was wrong. So I was like, oh, did you need to take a picture of the delivery or something? And to my surprise, he said, quote, I know you, I've seen you before. And you can see on the camera, my face changes, my body demeanor gets uncomfortable and I kind of move behind the door. I said, quote I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. I went to shut the door, but he raises his voice and takes a step forward and said, I've seen your name on your mail. I found you on Instagram.
Kaelyn
You're not allowed to do that, but continue.
Morgan
My face went white and I froze. I said, me, I was kind of like a deer in headlights. He said, yeah, you are a person of interest on Instagram for me. Your account was private, but you're pretty. I said thanks and slammed the door, locking it quickly. I was happy to know I caught the whole thing on video. I showed it to my then boyfriend who agreed it was weird. A few days later, on Saturday, he's back at my door. He rang the bell about 10 times, waiting a few minutes, just staring. I answered him through the doorbell and I said, hi, you can just leave any mail. Thanks. What he said next made me shake. He said, quote, I actually don't have any mail for you today. I just wanted to say hi. Can I come in for a glass of water? I decided to just not answer. To be honest, I didn't know what to say. But then about two weeks go by. My then boyfriend stayed the night and I slept in. I left early for work. I get a call around 10:30 from my boyfriend saying I won't believe what just happened and to check the camera. I do. The mailman came, he rang the bell a few times and my boyfriend answered the door. The mailman took a step back and my boyfriend stood for a moment and they stared at each other. He realized the mailman didn't have anything in his hands. He said, can I help you? And the mailman said, where's the small girl who lives here? I'm pretty, petite, 5ft, 100 pounds. My boyfriend was stunned and said, I live here too. From now on, leave our packages downstairs. And slammed the door. I was really happy he said that because truthfully, he didn't live there with me full time. Maybe two nights a week. It seemed to work. I didn't see the mailman again at all actually. But then my boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago. I completely forgot about the mailman until today. I was entering my building when he was exiting at the same time. He stared at me and I went to walk by. He turned to walk after me and said, quote, hey, I haven't seen that guy in a while who used to live with you. Did he move out? I panicked and walked faster, grabbing my keys. But I lied and I said, oh, he's around. And as I entered, I quickly said, hey, honey, I'm home. And I slammed my door fast. I don't know why I lied, but something told me to make it clear that I wasn't alone. Am I being dramatic or mean? Or is he creepy?
Kaelyn
He's creepy. You're not being dramatic. That is so creepy. And unfortunately, he does know where you live. That's the worst.
Morgan
That's the worst part. That Was literally my thought that he
Kaelyn
came to your house and to come afterwards, too, and be like, oh, I actually don't have mail for you. I just wanted to show up at your place and see if you were around. Can I come inside?
Morgan
Can I come in for a glass of water?
Kaelyn
Glass of water?
Morgan
Help. I need water. So thirsty.
Kaelyn
No, no. That's really scary. I mean, I guess you. You can report that person.
Morgan
You should, too. Yeah.
Kaelyn
Like, I would hope that they would take him off of your route so he's not like, it's already too far past because he does know where. So even if he's, like, taken off your route. Right. He can just still come to your house or your apartment. But, like, I would hope that they'd be able to take him off that route.
Morgan
Yeah, they absolutely should. And then, like, if he did come back, then you have this like, oh, no, he's stalking me. And you can get a restraining order or protective order or whatever it is, because then it's like, there's no plausible reason for him to be there.
Kaelyn
No, I know.
Morgan
There's no reason. He's not the mailman anymore.
Kaelyn
I know. Oh, I used to get so scared in college, right? Like, there were so many people that would, like, knock door to door and sell, like, baseball tickets or whatever.
Morgan
Okay.
Kaelyn
Which always freaked me out. And I lived in a house once, and I remember this guy. Yeah. Literally came to the door and was selling baseball tickets. And I was the only one home. And I don't know why I answered the front door. He looks like he was kind of my age. And it wasn't. It wasn't that creepy. But I remember I, like, closed the door. I was like, no, thanks, I'm not interested. Left. And then, like, 20 seconds later, he knocks at the door again. He's like, well, actually, I just thought you were really pretty. Like, can I have your number? I'm like, this is not what this is. Like, I know this interaction is done. And, like, you have to go. You are also on the clock. This is totally unprofessional. It's just kind of weird. And I was like. And you know where I live, and you know that you probably assume that I live here alone, or you don't know that I have roommates. And this is just now getting really scary.
Morgan
I hate that.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And it's so hard. Like, I. I just think, like, as a woman, like, I'm. I'm very on edge. I'm very, like, kind of hyper aware of my surroundings these days. And even something that Like, I was at a gas station recently, and this person just, like, kept coming around my car and looking at my car and asking me how he liked my car. And I'm just like, yeah, I. I don't want this. And I'm like, I'm feeling uncomfortable.
Kaelyn
I'm like, what do they say? Like, be rude.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
Sort of like, stay weird.
Morgan
The crime junkie motto. Yeah, be rude, stay, stay alive.
Kaelyn
Something like that. But it kind of is like, yeah, you don't. You almost don't want to come off as too docile in those moments, because I worry that they're now sizing you up and being like, oh, she doesn't back. Or like, interesting.
Morgan
I'm walking around your car to put an air tag in it.
Kaelyn
Oh, my gosh.
Morgan
Like, the air tag of it all these days. And, like, there's so many people on Reddit finding trackers on their cars. Do your.
Kaelyn
Does your phone. Because my phone will let me know if there's AirPods near you.
Morgan
Near me. Following with you.
Kaelyn
Yeah. Does it. Is it the same with trackers now, too?
Morgan
It pops up pretty quickly with the air tags. Great. I'm not sure about other ones, like, tile or other tracking things.
Kaelyn
Oh, because that's so scary, the fact that you could just, like, pop it under someone's car.
Morgan
And he was, like, walking around it, like, going. Looking at the rims, and I'm like, at your car?
Kaelyn
Where was this?
Morgan
Literally, a gas station in Burbank. I'm like, okay, bye.
Kaelyn
He didn't. What did he ask about it?
Morgan
Just like, how do you like your car? That's a really nice car. Walking around. He's like. And he pointed to his truck. He's like, this is my hog. And I'm like, don't care. Yeah, get me out of here. I was gonna fill it up, put 20 bucks in. Bye.
Kaelyn
Bye. Ooh, do you think he's gonna place an airtag on it? Or, like, what. What do you think he's doing?
Morgan
I don't know. See, like. And I get. We have the true crime podcast now. Like, I'm again, like, you're a little paranoid. You. Yeah. I'm like, that's just me. I'm like, I'm hyper, vigilant. You shouldn't have to be that way. You don't have to be that way. Don't. Don't. In his head, he could have been just being nice, trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger at a
Kaelyn
gas station or maybe wanted to buy your car or something. I don't know, who knows, who knows, who knows?
Morgan
But it just. I'm alone. I'm, like, not feeling the vibe.
Kaelyn
I gotta go.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
I'm gonna have a conversation right now.
Morgan
I don't want to assume the worst, but it's easy to be made to feel uncomfortable. Yeah.
Kaelyn
I do think sometimes you just catch a vibe with someone and you're like, I probably shouldn't be here. Just, like, talking to this person.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
I even. Yeah, my husband has kind of, like, talked to me about that. Because I do think sometimes I will sit and talk to a person and not really think twice about it.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
But there's been times where Matt has been like, should you sat with that person? It's funny. So, like, actually, it's not necessarily. I know I'm being, like, so vague. It's not even really about people being creepy. But one time he was like. We were. I was having a conversation with someone, and he was, like, telling me about how him and his wife were open and they're like, they were trying to get you. And I had no idea that's what it was. And I told Matt, and he's like, they were trying to sleep with you. So, like, let me tell you about the situation. And I was like, like, oh, okay, now I can see the flattered. But, like, in. In the moment, I was like, there's no way. It just, like, totally went over my head. I thought they were just, like, telling me about their lifestyle. And I was like, oh, cool. Interesting.
Morgan
Yeah. Like, you're so curious. You're such a curious person.
Kaelyn
Yes. Yes.
Morgan
And it just went over your head.
Kaelyn
Tell me more. This is so.
Morgan
And he's, like, killing a little night.
Kaelyn
You were just trying to sleep with you. Like, it's fine.
Morgan
Just next time.
Kaelyn
Next time we should be aware.
Morgan
That's what's happening.
Kaelyn
Yeah. So that's fair. So I guess. Yeah, it's less so, like, oh, this person was trying to take you. And more like, this person was trying to seduce you. I guess that called me out on
Morgan
not being aware of this person, though. Definitely. He's being creepy.
Kaelyn
Yes.
Morgan
And I think talking to the Post people and getting him off the route is a good idea.
Kaelyn
I think so, too.
Morgan
And we get updates. Great update. I took everyone's advice. Thank you all so much. I decided to reach out to the super of my apartment and explain the situation and show him the videos. He said he will implement a new policy that male personnel are not permitted to walk around the complex. Great. Simply go to the designated mail room and leave I also got a large men's work boot to put them outside my door. People were like, grab work boots, men, male looking work boots and put them outside your door.
Kaelyn
I did have the thought when he was like, oh, does your boyfriend live there? I would have been like, yes. He just got out of prison for murdering mail men and he's back home and he lives with me now.
Morgan
Really just talking.
Kaelyn
But I do like the idea of having like the work boots or just something unfortunately because. Okay, so there was that case just around here of the apartment complex where a person had wandered in and they were specifically looking at doors that looked like women lives there. They were looking at the doors with the flowers and the wreath that were
Morgan
nicely curated and clean looking mats.
Kaelyn
Yeah. So unfortunately, as a woman, it maybe does behoove move you to dirty it up a little bit outside, make it look like a real like, I don't know, grab some lives there.
Morgan
Yeah. From Goodwill or a thrift store.
Kaelyn
So sad that you have to do that.
Morgan
Walk through a puddle, pop them outside.
Kaelyn
Just make it really dirty outside.
Morgan
Honestly down.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
But yeah, it's like again, the fact that we need to do this.
Kaelyn
I know.
Morgan
Second update. Wow. I wasn't expecting so many people to care about my story. Thank you everyone. I took the advice and everyone telling me this isn't acceptable and I decided to call the postmaster. I sent them the video recordings I had and they assured me they will be looking into the matter. As well as assigning a new mailman to my route. I also made sure to go down to my local police precinct and file an incident report and they have the videos as well. Thank you everyone. Also, I'm flattered so many people are concerned and I'm getting a lot of requests to post the videos. Considering I'm in them and it shows my apartment and this is still ongoing, I prefer not to post them publicly.
Kaelyn
Fair.
Morgan
If anyone thinks they have experienced the same thing with him, please DM me and I'll send the videos privately, just not on a public forum, which again, I don't, I don't know people online, don't. I. I don't know. I wouldn't send anyone the videos.
Kaelyn
No, me neither.
Morgan
Or like literally take a screen grab of him and send it to them if they think it's the same guy.
Kaelyn
Yeah, but you just don't want your apartment number and you're already having issues with people coming to your apartment. No, I totally get that.
Morgan
Isn't that crazy though?
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
You're so on it today. The postmaster man, you knew, you knew all this. Change the route.
Kaelyn
I know, yeah, yeah. See if. I guess just, you know, call the manager, if you will. Just try to talk to someone who can help you sort this out. And usually it's like their supervisor, whoever's in charge there. But I'm glad she did that. I. Of course I would also be nervous about making this person mad. But I think that's just like our instinct sometimes as women, like, ah, don't make the person mad because that's gonna make it worse. Like, let me just placate until it is. It ends.
Morgan
Yeah. I mean, that's not gonna help you here. It's now being more talked about where there's. Everyone has heard fight or flight. That's like so common. But there's also fawn, which is kind of. That placate someone and freeze. Yeah. And so there's so many different reactions that you can have in these situations. No one is more right or wrong than the other. Yeah, it's scary. Your body, I mean, it's just. It takes over.
Kaelyn
I feel like fawn and freeze are the only feelings I've ever had in those situations. I've never been in a high stress situation where my instinct was to fight someone or to turn around and run away. I feel like I always just am like frozen in place or I'll try to make the situation better so no one's upset. And then that usually gets me into trouble. Yeah.
Morgan
Yeah. There's only one time where I turned around to try to instantly swing at the person.
Kaelyn
Really?
Morgan
Yeah. I was like walking down the street and someone like, I was wearing a romper and they reached up the romper and grabbed my ass.
Kaelyn
No.
Morgan
And I immediately just turned around like, good for you. But they were a lot quicker. And we were already like, already up the street, like.
Kaelyn
And I'm like, so sorry.
Morgan
Motherfucking bitch.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
It's just crazy, but it's like, that's how it can just. I'm like, ugh, this is fucking nuts.
Kaelyn
I know. But that. Yeah.
Morgan
Oh, I'm also so fast. Probably paranoid these days.
Kaelyn
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Morgan
But okay, I've got one last one for us.
Kaelyn
Okay. Excellent.
Morgan
It is a ghost scary story. That's real.
Kaelyn
Thank goodness.
Morgan
So if you don't like the ghosts and you don't want to be scared or if you're listening late at night, goodbye. We shall end here.
Kaelyn
Good night.
Morgan
It's been so great to have you, but I think you're gonna be into the little Spooky. I got.
Kaelyn
I'm excited.
Morgan
So this is coming from R Ghosts, and it's five months old. It's titled what is that? One story that not only made you believe in the paranormal, but also sends chills down your spine to this day. And I'm not talking about I heard something move in the kitchen. I mean, something so disturbing.
Kaelyn
Mm, Love it already.
Morgan
And I will say, like, every single comment on this post, like, is so believable. And like, not like, disturbing disturbing. I'm not gonna go there. So, like, don't shut us down now if you did. Give it a chance. Cause it's so good. Yeah, but I wanna post the link. Cause there's other comments on there from people that I want you guys to read and maybe I'll post them on. On Instagram, but I'm only reading the one, so this is a personal experience. I had a friend when I was little, probably age 7 to 10, given how well I remember her. She was older than I was, with long brown hair. She always wore the same thing. Black jeans and a red polo shirt. She would just show up and play with me. Usually Barbies. We would play together for hours. And then she would tell me she had to go and she would leave. One night When I was 10, I woke up and one of my Barbie dolls was standing on my dresser. And her little purple plastic brush was going up and down through her hair. I couldn't see anyone holding it, but I somehow knew it was my friend. I sat up in bed and I sternly told her that I didn't like what she was doing and that she was scaring me. The brush stopped, the Barbie laid down, and all was quiet. I laid back down and I went to sleep. I never saw my friend again. I spoke to my parents about it a few years later, and while my mom was incredulous, my father confirmed that he had seen her too. But they both told me without question that she was not a real person. Fast forward approximately 10 years and I am moving out of my childhood home. I had already been gone for a couple of years, but I hadn't actually moved my things out. The day after I had mostly cleaned out my room, my dad called me and said, I have kind of a weird request for you. Could you come by and tell your friend that you're all right? I was taking a shower and I saw her walk through the bathroom. And then your bedroom door opened. I called out to her, but I don't think she listens to me. End quote. So I did. I Went home and I went to my old bedroom and I could smell her. My room smelled like incense, despite none having ever been lit in there. I sat down in the middle of the room and just talked for a while. I told her I wasn't sure if she could hear me, that everything was okay and that I had moved into a nice apartment near my new job. I told her about my new job. I told her about how old I was, just in case she never knew. I thanked her for being my friend. And I told her I was sorry about how our friendship ended, that I never forgot her. And I found some comfort knowing that she was still there. I told her that my parents were moving soon, so I probably wouldn't be back to this house ever. I told her I didn't want her to be lonely, that I hoped, if she wants to move on, she can now. Then I stood up, turned off my light, said goodbye, and shut the door. I headed down the hall to tell my dad the deed was done, when all of a sudden, my bedroom door clicked back open and I heard a very clear see ya. I turned around to look, decided to leave the door open, and I waved. I'm 36 now, and I had my daughter last year. One night, early in the newborn trenches, I was operating on almost no sleep and just rocking the baby quietly in the dark when I got the urge to talk to her. I introduced my baby out loud and I talked about my birth experience. I told her how old I was now and how I was told I couldn't have children, but here we are. And I heard her laugh, sigh, and whisper like she was trying not to wake the baby. Beautiful. I haven't spoken to her since, but I still think about her. Why am I crying over a ghost, you guys?
Kaelyn
Here's the thing is, I read that sub all the time, so I had read that story.
Morgan
Oh, my God.
Kaelyn
But there's something about being just. I don't know, reading it again.
Morgan
Did you read the top comment on it about the Mal puzzle?
Kaelyn
No.
Morgan
Okay. I don't want to read it because I don't want it to, like, mess you up having a new baby. It's like, about the loss of a. Of a young child.
Kaelyn
Oh, no.
Morgan
And so I was like, I'm not doing that. Yeah, I don't know if I can
Kaelyn
do that right now.
Morgan
No, but the top comment on it is, like, so good. So I'll. I'll, like, read it for a social post and you can go listen to it on Instagram, but it's just so insane that, like, this is almost like her guardian angel. Yeah.
Kaelyn
Yeah. I mean, I've talked about it on Heart starts pounding. But I have a lot of nurses that listen to the show.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
People who work at hospitals just have the most amazing ghost stories. They all, I feel like, have. Have seen paranormal things. But a lot of the nurses talk about, like, when kids pass away or as unfortunate as it is, but there's, like, little kids that have, like, friends. They'll describe being friends with kids that have also been in that hospital but have passed away.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
Like, they're all each other's guardian angels. And there's something about. I don't know, like, was this a little girl that lived in the house before or. And that was her friend, and now she's older, and she's so connected to her. It's really, really beautiful.
Morgan
I know. Just insane. And, like, to. She followed this person, like, from one house to another. Has been quietly sitting there, and then, like, you're in the newborn trenches, which I'm sure you can relate to right now. Just, like, rocking the baby, like, sleep.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
And you just feel this urge, and all of a sudden, you hear a laugh, a sigh, and a whisper. Beautiful. Like, what? What?
Kaelyn
There is something about. And I'm gonna cry. The first few weeks of having a baby, I think I just spent a lot of time.
Morgan
Oh, my God, I'm crying.
Kaelyn
But you spend a lot of time thinking about, like, the people that just aren't there anymore. Like, there is something about having a new life where you think about the people that aren't there to experience it with you too. And I just, like, have felt them so much. I had an aunt who passed away when I was pregnant, and I would text her every single update about the baby. Every single time I got a picture, I would send it to her. She wanted to be so involved, and she was older, so there's always a chance that they're just not gonna make it to the baby being born. But I guess I had never really thought about that. And then one day I got the call that she had passed away. And in my mind, I was like, no, she's been such a part of this. This every step of the way. What do you mean she's not here anymore? That's impossible. And she would text me every single month on the 16th, because my birthday is February 16th. So she'd always say, like, Happy Sweet 16. And. Or. And just, like. And that's when we would catch up and stuff. And so, like, the 16th of every month I feel like. I don't know, I just, like, feel her, like, when I'm up late with the baby or. I don't know, just. Just. I just feel it with the baby too. Like, I know that she was there, that she was. It's not like, oh, she's not gonna be part of this process anymore. Like, she was even more part of the process after that. You know, it's really special.
Morgan
It's beautiful that you have that connection.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
Did you. Have you gotten anything on the 16th of a month yet?
Kaelyn
No, I guess there's only been two. He was born on the 14th, so the first 16th was just wild because we had just brought him home, and I was like, what is even happening?
Morgan
Like, they sent me home with this little thing.
Kaelyn
Yeah.
Morgan
Like, ah, we talked about. About that yesterday. The fact that, like, you literally just have a baby and they just, like, send you off like, okay, bye now.
Kaelyn
Bye. And you're like, what do I do? They're like, google it. Because even some of the nurses, too, are like, hey, so, like, someone was telling me that the baby had, like, a blowout diaper or something. And so they called the nurse because they're like, what do we do? And the. The nurse was like, hey, so, like, I'm not gonna be at home with you, so you're gonna have to figure out what to do, because I'm not gonna change all your baby's diapers right now. Now. And then you don't know how to do it when you get home. So, like, you guys figure this out.
Morgan
Yeah.
Kaelyn
Which is what you do need to be told because you do have to start figuring it out.
Morgan
Maybe a little tough love, but not that tough. I'm still healing.
Kaelyn
I know, I know. It's like you still can't get out of bed, and the nurse is kind of, like, yelling at you.
Morgan
I only got you for two, three days if I'm lucky.
Kaelyn
Like, I know.
Morgan
Help me while I'm here.
Kaelyn
And, like, I'm paying a lot to be here, so can you help me out? Yeah, I got that bill.
Morgan
Oh, my gosh. Okay. So hasn't happened yet. And I always, like, I talk about it on the podcast when we do the spooky stories. I'm like, if you have lost someone and you're waiting for a sign, like, it. It will probably come. Like, it just hasn't happened yet. Like, don't get discouraged.
Kaelyn
A lot of people that they're trying to send signs to, you're on the list. It could come years later.
Morgan
Yeah. They Just got up there. Let them, you know, have a margarita or two. Like, let them chill.
Kaelyn
It's, like, pretty good up there. Let them hang out for a bit. Yeah, they'll get to you when they get to you. No, I. I do say that, too, because I do hear from people. I. I talk a lot about signs on. Heart starts pounding. Because some of a lot of the ghost stories are people getting signs from loved ones. And I always. And it always breaks my heart. But I do get comments of people being like, my dad passed away, and I still haven't gotten assigned, which breaks my heart. Most people I talk to have, like, felt something or seen something, and it's just a matter of time. And you have to be open to it, too, and you have to, you know, be looking out for stuff.
Morgan
Absolutely. I love when you guys share your personal stories in the comments. There's one that's coming to mind from a past paranormal episode where someone was like, after my friend passed, I would take food over to their dad's place. Like, I would make sure he had meals. I'd always pop in, whatever, and I would never accept any money from him. And, you know, it was odd because before that, I had lost my wallet. And so after, you know, after I brought him all this food and I wouldn't take any money, I got a call from the police that they had found my lost wallet. And in the wallet was enough money to cover what I had bought my friend's dad. That to me, I'm like, the ghost of your friend or the spirit or whatever found your wallet. Like, divine intervention. That's just insane. So I'm like, I love hearing your personal story, so drop any in the comment.
Kaelyn
Yeah, me too. Me too. I'm sorry.
Morgan
People are gonna say, well, and go bombard Kaelyn with them, too, Right? In.
Kaelyn
Yeah, you can send heartsarchounding.com, we love getting ghost stories. We read a lot of ghost stories. We have an episod with Morgan out that's all ghost stories from listeners. And there were some really freaky ones. People go into Catholic summer camps and, like, a whole bunch of bad stuff going on there.
Morgan
God, I know.
Kaelyn
Yeah. I love the listener ghost stories. I say this, that, like, every time I make a call for listener ghost stories, part of me is like, I hope I don't get any, because I hope nothing scary is happening to the audience. And then my audience continually proves that, like, just the scariest stuff keeps happening to them. So.
Morgan
So if you go over there, maybe just write, like, like from tht. And then maybe I can selfishly hear them too.
Kaelyn
Yes, yes, yes. And so that way I'll know. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, please do. I love reading your stories on my show.
Morgan
But where can people find you?
Kaelyn
People can find me everywhere. At heart starts pounding. YouTube. Listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts. And then I'm Also on Instagram TikTok at heart starts Pounding.
Morgan
And if you want more of us together, we've got our podcast called Clues. We've done some really good episodes like the three we did this week. Week are such good episodes to highlight. One case that's sticking with me still is Maitrice Richardson, who was a young black woman that went missing here in la. And we implemented this thing called the botched board that just kind of highlights inadequacies of cases. And this one was botched.
Kaelyn
So botched. So botched. What started as a woman having a mental health episode turned into a whole missing person's case. One of the most devastating stories I've and also most preventable stories I've ever read about.
Morgan
So preventable. So if you want more of that, head that way. But thank you guys so much for being here. And until next time, Bye, Sam.
Release Date: April 2, 2026
Host: Morgan Absher
Co-host: Kaelyn (of Heart Starts Pounding)
Episode Theme: Exploring chilling and awkward “Let’s Not Meet Again” stories from Reddit and listener write-ins—highlighting everything from relationship drama to creepy encounters and paranormal events.
This episode dives into tales that make you say, “Let’s not meet again”—awkward, distressing, or downright scary moments from dating, relationships, and everyday life. Morgan and Kaelyn break down Reddit posts and write-ins about suspicious partners, toxic families, red-flag dates, stalker-y mailmen, psychological manipulation, and one emotional paranormal encounter. The pair not only analyze and react, but also share their own experiences, blending empathy, humor, and psychological insights.
Source: r/RelationshipAdvice – [06:53-25:35]
Source: r/datingadvice – [28:18-32:36]
Source: r/TrueOffMyChest – [32:46-50:44]
Source: r/RelationshipAdvice + Update – [55:28-75:20]
Source: r/letsnotmeet – [97:11-110:45]
Source: r/offmychest – [84:04-94:57]
Source: r/ghosts – [111:46-end]
Blending true crime, relationship advice, and the supernatural, Morgan and Kaelyn’s deep dives this episode remind listeners: your gut is wise, uncomfortable truths need to be confronted, and sometimes what feels scary at first can lead to emotional freedom—or a really good ghost story.
For more stories, bonus content, or to share your own paranormal or “Let’s Not Meet” tales, check out Two Hot Takes and Heart Starts Pounding on all major platforms and socials!