263: Friendly Advice Ft. Nadine Bhabha

Summary

Two Hot Takes – Episode 263: Friendly Advice Ft. Nadine Bhabha

Release Date: April 9, 2026
Host: Morgan Absher
Guest: Nadine Bhabha

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Overview

In this engaging and witty episode, host Morgan Absher sits down with actor/writer Nadine Bhabha to dispense no-nonsense, friendly advice on a slew of complex, funny, and emotional Reddit and listener stories centering on relationships, friendships, self-worth, life transitions, and the elusive quest for “whimsy.” Together, they challenge entitlement, poke fun at masculinity woes, and celebrate the joys of connection and individuality, all while serving up their signature hot takes—with Nadine’s “three cents” worth of wisdom in heavy rotation.

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Key Segments & Topic Breakdown

[00:59-06:53] Catching Up & Reflections on Friendship

• Reconnecting and First Impressions: Morgan recounts meeting Nadine at a Spotify party where Nadine’s “let kids swear” hot take had stood out.
• Nadine’s TV Success: Discussing the acclaim for “Heated Rivalry,” Nadine highlights the show’s emotional craftsmanship and sense of “community.”
• Modern Friendship & Community:
  • Nadine and Morgan lament the decline of “the village” and the isolation of adulthood, especially in places like LA.
  • Nadine: “If you’re within walking distance of your friends, you live a better life.” [04:28]
  • Morgan: “That is better than literally any pill you could ever take.” [04:54]
• Toronto vs. Other Canadian Cities: Personal anecdotes about Canada and Toronto’s unique vibe.

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[06:53-22:46] Reddit Story 1: “I Hate My Friend’s Husband for Not Choosing Me”

(Reddit: Off My Chest)

Story Summary ([07:28])

A woman (late 20s) resents her friend’s husband (her former FWB) for marrying her introverted friend instead. She’s bitter and questions her own worth, harboring resentment for not being the “chosen one.”

Advice & Commentary

• Nadine’s Immediate Take ([09:35]):
  • “Girl, get over it. That man’s for the streets, then, like, leave him alone.”
  • Critiques the writer’s entitlement and inward focus: “You’re not entitled to a person’s life.”
• Labels & Loss of Nuance ([12:21-14:23]):
  • Pushback on toxic labeling (“introvert,” “extrovert”), with Nadine calling out using personality descriptors as put-downs.
  • Nadine: “We need to box ourselves into these things in order to feel...a lack of community talking.”
  • Morgan: “People are losing nuance...There’s way more gray area than there is black and white.” [14:07]
• Aging out of the Drama ([16:22-18:43]):
  • Both agree the fixation is immature: “This kind of attitude should stay behind in your teenage years.”
  • “If you don’t want to be an option, don’t be an option.” [17:08]
  • Nostalgic self-critique: “I just want to shake me...don’t be sad about this Canadian boy...” [17:29]

Notable Quotes

• Nadine: “Dating men is a nightmare and a prison, and it sucks.” [11:27]
• Morgan: “What do you win? Even in your own words, he’s still the same misogynistic asshole.” [12:01]

Consensus & Reddit Comments

• Both hosts and top Reddit commenters assert: There’s no friendship here, no healthy foundation, and nothing to gain but heartache.

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[22:46-41:12] Reddit Story 2: “Am I the Asshole for Accepting a Promotion My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want Me to Take?”

(r/AmItheAsshole)

Story Summary ([22:59])

A woman is offered a long-awaited job promotion. Her boyfriend acts undermined and threatened by her career success, worrying it will disrupt his “simple life.” She feels unsupported and wonders if she’s the asshole for accepting.

Advice & Commentary

• Nadine:
  • Passionately sides with OP: “Men...it takes a special kind of man to not be emasculated by a successful woman.”
  • Notes the “disconnect” in even progressive men when it’s their own partner achieving: “It’s, ‘I believe you deserve all these things—but not you and me in this relationship.’” [27:52]
  • “Sometimes with the boys, I’m just like, just sit back and be a kept man for a moment. It’s gonna be okay.” [30:55]
• Morgan:
  • Relates to the tension of balancing career and partnership: “You can stress about the future, but you can only address it as it comes.” [31:03]
  • “This could be huge.” [30:16]
• Capitalism vs. Fulfillment ([28:13]):
  • Acknowledges the “rat race” isn’t the end goal, but ambition shouldn’t be punished either.
• Relationship Dynamics:
  • If a promotion causes this much friction, how would the couple survive greater challenges (illness, kids)? “He’s straight up telling you he’s inflexible. Run.” [37:20]

Notable Quotes

• “He doesn’t want a simple life. He wants a stagnant one.” [37:23] — Reddit Comment, read aloud
• “If you start sleeping at the office on Friday and come home Monday, different conversation.” [28:57] — Nadine

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[41:12-57:02] Reddit Story 3: “He Wants to Call Off My Divorce Because My Cancer Treatment Was Successful”

(r/TrueOffMyChest)

Story Summary

A man is dumped by his husband after a cancer diagnosis (“too much to take care of”), but once he’s in remission, the ex tries to withdraw the divorce petition. After a protracted legal fight and emotional rollercoaster, the OP finds closure—with freedom and health.

Advice & Commentary

• Nadine:
  • Highlights the tragedy of “fair weather” relationships.
  • “People take vows that mean nothing.” [43:44]
  • A marriage where someone jumps ship after a diagnosis isn’t worth saving.
  • “It’s an expensive breakup, is what divorce is.” [46:52]
• Morgan:
  • Emotional reaction: “I married knowing if anything ever happened, I’m with someone who would not abandon me. He would wipe my ass.”
  • Argues that divorce shouldn’t be shamed if a relationship stops working: “Don’t make it forever if it’s not working anymore.” [46:39]
• Marriage & Modern Love Debated:
  • Dissects why people get and stay married, and the institution’s shifting cultural meaning. Cites financial, logistical, and emotional factors.
• Update ([53:04]):
  • OP finally free after 4.5 years; “Last night was probably the best sleep I’ve had in years.”
  • “Happy you got rid of both cancers.” [55:33] — Redditor (Morgan reads it out; it’s met with laughter and approval)

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[57:02-70:46] Reddit Story 4: “My Husband Told Me He Doesn’t Like the Fun Lunches I’ve Been Packing”

(r/TrueOffMyChest)

Story Summary

For three years, a woman preps whimsical, Pinterest-worthy lunches for her husband—homemade treats with notes and designs—only to learn he finds them embarrassing. She’s hurt, reflects on her attachment to “fun” gestures, and feels out of sync.

Advice & Commentary

• Nadine:
  • Sympathetic yet frank: “Sometimes our gestures are more for us than the other person.”
  • Recognizes that her own tastes are not whimsical, but believes “we’ve lost so much whimsy” and men need it most.
  • Advises balance: “A heart-shaped cookie doesn’t make me any less of a man. I’m cold.” [64:12]
  • Argues that no one else cares—this is his issue.
• Morgan:
  • Points out that bringing joy to the office is usually a win; notes her own delight at “designer cookies.”
  • “There’s stuff my partner does that I’m not obsessed with...but I’m not going to ruin his whimsy.”
• Bring Back Whimsy!
  • Nadine shares her love of random, spontaneous adventures (cat shows, marionettes, kissing lucky pennies).
  • “That’s what being alive is about...Find your pennies in the world.” [68:48]
• Reddit Comments:
  • Lawyers in the thread love the fun lunches and poke fun at the husband’s “stuffy” firm.

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[70:46-86:37] Reddit Story 5: “My Long Term Boyfriend Saved Nudes From My Best Friend”

(r/relationship_advice)

Story Summary

After 8 years together, a woman discovers her boyfriend saved explicit snaps from her best friend, and feels betrayed by both. He claims it was a mistake, but the trust is shattered and she worries she’ll never “click” with someone again.

Advice & Commentary

• Nadine:
  • Sets a hard line: “Not your friend. Not your boyfriend.”
  • “The thing about clicking — you will [again]. There are so many people out there to click with.” [77:49]
  • On high school sweethearts: “They are the exception. Everybody else, I’m like, you’re weird.” [81:13]
• Morgan:
  • Acknowledges the pain but urges: “Don’t waste another day if you’re just settling out of familiarity.”
  • “If you have an inkling...don’t waste another day.” [79:14]
• Both:
  • Talk at length about the “girls’ girl” dilemma, the need for strong boundaries, and breaking out of “convenience relationships.”
  • Nadine: “Life is both long and short...don’t stay with people you’re not comfortable around.” [78:53]
• Playful Thought Experiment:
  • Nadine suggests a worldwide Singles Month (like The Purge for dating) to shake things up.
  • “It would shake up a lot of people’s ideas of what partnership looks like.” [83:29]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Labels and Identity:
  • Nadine: “I hate labels. People are like, ‘I read a book, I’m an introvert.’ It’s like, shut up. Just be.” [12:21]
• On Whimsy:
  • Nadine: “Men need to be more comfortable with whimsy.” [62:37]
  • “Bring back whimsy!” [62:35]
• On Outgrowing Partners:
  • Morgan reads a Reddit comment: “Don’t let familiarity excuse mistreatment.” [84:29]
• On Marriage:
  • “People take vows that mean nothing.” [43:44]
  • “It’s an expensive breakup, is what divorce is.” [46:52]
• On Finding Community:
  • Nadine: “If you felt safe and taken care of within your friend group, you would just exist.” [13:26]

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Time-stamped Highlights

• [03:10]—Nadine describes TV show episodes as a race car, romcom, tragedy, culminating in perfect closure.
• [04:28]—The life-changing impact of living within walking distance of friends.
• [09:35]—Breakdown of the “I hate my friend’s husband” story.
• [14:07]—Insightful commentary on the loss of nuance in modern interactions.
• [27:32]—Discussion of male fragility and professional jealousy.
• [37:23]—Savage Reddit comment: “He doesn’t want a simple life. He wants a stagnant one.”
• [43:44]—Rants on the real meaning of marriage vows.
• [53:04]—Poignant update on the cancer survivor’s hard-won freedom.
• [62:35]—Rallying for more whimsy in everyday life.
• [68:48]—Nadine’s “Find your pennies in the world” mantra.
• [84:29]—Top comment urging listeners not to let comfort mask mistreatment.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a tour de force of real talk about jealousy, ambition, self-worth, staying true to yourself, and the joys and pitfalls of modern love and friendship. Nadine’s quick wit and empathetic honesty, paired with Morgan’s warmth and candor, make this a must-listen for anyone navigating the grey areas of relationships—or just searching for a little more whimsy (and a lot less drama) in their daily life.

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Find more “Two Hot Takes” on Instagram, YouTube, and Patreon. For bonus stories, weekly whimsy, and all of Morgan and Nadine’s three-cents takes, check the links in the episode description.

Transcript

[Morgan]

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[Nadine Bhabha]

I'm ready.

[Morgan]

I'm so excited. I don't know if you remember this, but we have briefly met before on a carpet.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Oh, my God. Tell me which one.

[Morgan]

It was the pre Golden Globes Spotify party.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I was asking you for hot takes with a mini mic.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yes.

[Morgan]

And you had a really good one. You said, let kids swear.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And then Robbie absolutely blew me out of the water and was like, coffee's disgusting.

[Nadine Bhabha]

That really disturbed me.

[Morgan]

I. I like the whole rest of the night. That was genuinely like the worst one I got.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Look, he he for himself is not wrong. Like, whatever you like is what you like. But coffee. Liking coffee. Oh, I'm gonna get so much hate from specific people in my life. Not liking coffee, I think is a barometer for being a little bit weird.

[Morgan]

I'm with you.

[Nadine Bhabha]

A little bit weird.

[Morgan]

You can have a bean preference. Like, I get a lot of people, they're like, I hate that coffee. Their beans are burnt. Like, you have to dabble and find your flavor. Get that? But to not like it at all.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I know. I'm like, refine your palate, girls.

[Morgan]

Really?

[Nadine Bhabha]

That's how I feel.

[Morgan]

I feel the same way. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan, and I'm so excited to be joined today by Nadine Bhabha. Nadine, you were in heated rivalry. I feel like everyone's been talking about this show for months now. It's absolutely incredible. I don't think people, like, realize how good of a show it is. And people talk about how hot it is, but I'm like, no, no, no. Like, the acting, the cinematography, like, yes. I shout out to Jackson, it's unreal. I found this TikTok account by this girl Valentina, and she breaks down all the shots. And, like, I think she actually reached out to Jackson probably and got, like, aerials of the rooms and she's like, this is how he did this one shot versus this. And it's such a good show.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's a really good show. It's really well crafted.

[Morgan]

It's unreal.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Jacob Tierney, our father figure. Yeah. Wrote and directed every episode and just has such a strong sense of vision and really just put his heart on the line to make it what it is. I feel like the first two episodes are being. It's like you're inside of a race car.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. That's a good way to put it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And then the third episode is the rom com. The fourth episode's the tragedy. The fifth is one of the best episodes of TV I've ever seen.

[Morgan]

No, it's so good.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And then six is like a little sweet glass of port.

[Morgan]

I love how he shot it too, where like, six felt like it could have been enough closure if it didn't get picked up for season two.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally.

[Morgan]

Which, like, thank you. Because you never know. Lady Jane Grey, whatever that show is, still haunts me. That didn't come back for season two.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Right.

[Morgan]

So I'm like, I really appreciate that, but I cried the entire time. Like, every single episode, I cried. I'm like, I thought this was supposed to be like, yeah, just ballin'.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But your character is like, the friend everyone wants. Like, have you been getting that a

[Nadine Bhabha]

lot where you're like, yeah, I've been getting so many DMs from people being like, I wish I knew a person like this when I was younger. Which is so nice. I mean, oh, my God, it really breaks my heart that people don't have that sense of community outside of what feels like the Internet right now.

[Morgan]

I know that's one thing that's like, I've even noticed. And LA is especially difficult. But, like, we don't really have strong villages anymore. I feel like I grew up and it was like, oh, my grandma would watch me or my aunt would watch me. My mom's friend would watch me. Like, you'd kind of get pawned off on your village. And now it's kind of hard to have that.

[Nadine Bhabha]

They've done studies that, like, if you're within Walking distance of your friends, you live a better life.

[Morgan]

I fully believe it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. In my neighborhood. I live a lot of the time in Toron. In my neighborhood, I can walk to like seven or eight different friends. And it.

[Morgan]

That's unreal.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah, it. It makes the biggest difference. And I'm talking like 10 minute walk. Like not half hour, 45 minutes. Like 10 minutes.

[Morgan]

That is so nice.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's like, do you want to go do something now that is better than literally any pill you could ever take?

[Morgan]

It. It completely is. And I think that's why we all, like, if you went to a traditional college experience, that's why you leave college. And all of a sudden you're like, this is horrible. I'm sad. I don't have my friends. I can't go get a burrito at 2am with someone. It just feels like you went from 100 to zero and that's college. You're walkable. Your friends are right down the hall or a 10 minute walk away. And it's like, yeah, we need more of that. Okay, I'm gonna come be your neighbor.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Come on down to the east side of Toronto.

[Morgan]

Oh, my gosh. I love Canada.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Do you?

[Morgan]

I love Canada.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Where have you been?

[Morgan]

Kind of all over. Spent a lot of time in Manitoba, a lot of time outside of Edmonton, in Lloydminster.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay. I know Lloyd Minster because of. I've never been there, but I have friends who are from there.

[Morgan]

Very random hole in the wall. Calgary, Banff here and there. Not a lot on the other side. The other side.

[Nadine Bhabha]

So Toronto's very different than those other cities and smaller towns. Lloydminster, shout out.

[Morgan]

No, it's so tiny.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Toronto is like a really nice mix of, you know, we're like small, clean, Canadian New York.

[Morgan]

I like it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay. I think I'd vibe. I'd vibe. Okay, well, let's get into these stories. I've got a bunch today that are just kind of like all these crazy dilemmas, but you're such a good friend. You've got the friend vibe down. I've heard you on other podcasts and they, they're just like, she's such a good person, a good friend. That's nice. So I know you're going to clock these, but it's just like friendly advice. Like, what do you tell these people if you were their friend, how they proceed forward.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Because I got this.

[Morgan]

We got a lot of kids.

[Nadine Bhabha]

This is my favorite thing to do, is to give my three cents.

[Morgan]

Oh, unsolicited advice.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. And I gave an extra cent in there.

[Morgan]

Ooh, yeah, I like that. Three cents.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Three cents.

[Morgan]

That's gonna stick with me. I think I need that. Like, I need a tattooed. I don't even want a tattoo. I'm like, that's so good. Okay, let's dive in.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay, Sa.

[Morgan]

This first one is coming from off my chest.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Titled I hate my friend's husband for not choosing me.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Oh, okay.

[Morgan]

Friend and I are in our late 20s. He's in early 30s. I met my friend's husband around a year before they met. We became friends with benefits and it went on for a while. Even though he was in a relationship with someone else. For a part of that, I caught feelings. But with him juggling multiple high stress jobs and grad school, he said he didn't have the kind of time to be in a relationship. Around the time that phase died down and he had picked a single lane, we stopped hooking up because he went on a multiple month trip across the globe to advance his career. A few months after he came back, he met my friend at an event and even though he knew she was my friend, he got together with her within weeks. I'm pretty sure he just got off on the fact that he was her first. He never told her about me or about cheating on his ex or about how he constantly slept around before her. They've been together ever since and she's blinded by love for him. They moved states about two years later and things took off for him. She's stayed in touch with our friend group and we've been meeting up often now that they've moved back a few months ago. She looks at him like he hung the moon. They have more money than they'll ever possibly need. They have kids. But I can see through his act of being this hardworking husband and father and the success story and that he's still the same misogynistic asshole. I absolutely hate him. I met him first. I wanted a relationship. I would have supported him like she did, moved states for him, been a good mom to the kids. But somehow she got his attention. She's super introverted, quiet, and shy. So I don't know how that happened in the first place. Meanwhile, I have a good life on paper and everything is fine. But it's not the same in any way to what she gets from him. I don't know why I was good enough to use, but not good enough to be his girlfriend or wife.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay, first of all, the title is like, I hate my friend's husband. I'm like I'm on your side. Yeah, I hate him, too. And then the second part, for not choosing me, I'm like, wait a second.

[Morgan]

Do you want him?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay, here's the thing. First of all, they don't sound like best friends.

[Morgan]

No.

[Nadine Bhabha]

That already I'm like, red flag. Yeah. Because you cannot control how people feel feelings, and you're not entitled to a person's life. Like you. You're not entitled to him marrying you and having other random children. Because she's like, oh, I'll be the. I'll be, like, a good mother to the children. They would be different children.

[Morgan]

They sure would.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. I. I'm girl. Get over it. That's how I feel.

[Morgan]

I know it's really tough because, like, I think a lot of us have been there where you've been in that friends with benefits box in hopes they wake up and they see you and they're like, I like you. I like you more than that. But the reality is, like, sometimes people are just okay with convenience and someone they're comfortable with, and that's all they want.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. But it's also like, I mean, I. I hope this for her, and I hope this for everyone. Like, sometimes you think you really like somebody and you like spending time with them, and then you meet someone that you really like spending time with, and then it makes sense for you, and you don't really. I mean, I don't know how he treated her in that friends with benefits scenario, but he doesn't owe you a relationship after that.

[Morgan]

No.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You know.

[Morgan]

Well. And it sounds like he was in a relationship. Totally. So you were also, like, kind of being this other woman. So it's like, you've made so many sacrifices just to have him in any regard you can.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. And look, dating men is a nightmare and a prison, and it sucks. However, in this particular scenario, I'm just sort of like, okay, that man's for the streets. Then, like, leave him alone. Like, he's not in your life, and you don't want to win something that, like, was such a struggle.

[Morgan]

It. It is definitely a struggle. And that's a really good point. And it's also, like, what do you win? Like, even in your own words, you're like, he's still the same misogynistic asshole.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Well, she just. Here's the thing. She also doesn't sound like a girl's a girl.

[Morgan]

Sorry.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Because I'm like, you are focusing on her. Why call her an introvert as a negative thing?

[Morgan]

I think most people are introverts. Or that new one, the amnivert or whatever, where you're like an introvert but can be out there.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I can't even get into how much I hate labels. People are like, I read a book. I'm an introvert. It's like, shut up.

[Morgan]

Just be.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Just be like, I. I just, like, we need to. Yeah. Box ourselves into these things in order to, like, feel. This is the lack of community talking.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Because it's like, oh, I'm an extrovert. Which, if I were to label myself, I would say I'm like a pure extrovert. But it's like, you don't need to feel like. You need, like, put her down and call her an introvert. Negatively.

[Morgan]

Negatively.

[Nadine Bhabha]

In order to, like, be like, I'm a better person than she is.

[Morgan]

I don't get how she's still so lost in the sauce.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And it's so weird. Like, I don't know. I feel like sometimes labels can, like, they can make you feel better about something, but it is.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It can illuminate things.

[Morgan]

Yes. But I do think it. You make a good point. It's like, why are we so obsessed with the labels? And, like, we all fall prey to it. And I'm like, I don't know. Is it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Where.

[Morgan]

Why. Why are we, like, getting so hung up on those things?

[Nadine Bhabha]

I do think it's. I do think it's a lack of community, as we were talking about before, where it's like, if you felt safe and taken care of within your friend group or family or whatever, you would just exist. And one day you feel more like an introvert, the next day you feel like an extrovert. And you don't need to declare every single day what you are, but because we are a bit more of, like, an online generation and feeling the lack of community in order to find these people, you need to declare stuff so other people can put their hand up. That's how it feels.

[Morgan]

I just. I have to sit with that. I'm like, I completely agree. It's something I've been noticing, too. It's like people are losing nuance.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Absolutely.

[Morgan]

And it's like you have to be one or the other. Like, you. You have to be in this box. You have to be in that box. And it's like, no, no, no. Like, there is one way more gray area than there is black and white. And, like, the ability to just, like, warp your mind in different variations like people are really struggling with right now.

[Nadine Bhabha]

We love the idea that, like, if I am something, especially when it comes with a bit of struggle, it becomes social currency. It's like truly, like, you are rich with social currency if you have all of these sort of like, solvable problems. I'm not going to get into, like, actual diagnoses of real things.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

But like, you know, people are like, I'm trying to. I'm trying not to get canceled my.

[Morgan]

My daily challenge.

[Nadine Bhabha]

But, you know, like, it's really easy to be like, well, I'm like this. Or like, okay, I'm gonna. Having a period is really hard. But I do find a lot of the time it's like people say kind of up things and then there's like. But I'm on my period when it's like.

[Morgan]

When it's like they're using it as like a front for whatever.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. And sometimes I'm a nightmare on my period too. But like, once a month. Yeah. I'm not gonna blame, like a fucked up thing I said on me just kind of being a monster.

[Morgan]

Oh, for sure. Or I think people do it a lot with, like, trauma. And like, everyone goes through trauma in their lives. It's valid what you went through, but at the same time, it's not an excuse to treat people horribly.

[Nadine Bhabha]

No. It's like, my parents got divorced when I was a teenager. I'm not gonna then use it as an excuse if I've said something weird to you at a party.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

[Morgan]

They don't correlate.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

They don't correlate like that person or whatever, like, probably just sucks. Totally was a bitch that day.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Xyz. But like, it's not. Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

So like, as a child of divorced parents, it's like, I don't need to put myself in that box. That is something that happened. It's part of the quilt of my life. But it's not, like, who I am. And I think, like, a lot of people use the little squares of their the life quilt as this is who I am. And I think, like, this woman sounds like she needs to just find her people and she won't be hung up on this, like, kind of ghost. Yeah. Cause they're not hanging out.

[Morgan]

No. You know, like, they're now seeing each other here and then since, like, they moved back to the city. And they're still kind of a mutual friend group. But it's like, if that person, like, if this is disturbing you so much, you maybe shouldn't hang out when she's around.

[Nadine Bhabha]

In the sense you gotta look inward.

[Morgan]

It's Time. Because, like, your late 20s, they're now married with kids, plural. They're moving fast. They don't care about you. He's not coming back. And would you want to be the other woman again? No. You deserve better.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Also, late 20s. Late 20s, meaning they already have kids, so. Meaning they started all this in their early 20s. I'm sorry, are we blaming a 20 something year old dude for keeping you as an option?

[Morgan]

And that's the thing. If you don't want to be an option, don't be an option.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Everyone's a loser idiot in their 20s.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. I had no idea who I was, what I was doing. It was insane. I like, I look back and I'm like, I just want to shake me at some points where I'm like, morgan, don't be sad about this Canadian boy who is ghosting you.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Oh, that's why you know Canada.

[Morgan]

Oh, I know Canada well. But I'm like, don't be sad. Like, your future is so much bigger and brighter and like, it has so much more to offer than being sad about people who don't value you in the same way you value them. Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

If this man was. I mean, no excuse along the way, but like, if this man was like in his 30s, 40s, and above, I'd be like, okay, like, get your shit together, dude.

[Morgan]

But in his 20s, they're both out there just experiencing, figuring out who they are, living life.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Morgan]

Top comment on this one. Why you want him as a husband when he is a misogynistic asshole? Question mark.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Great question.

[Morgan]

Next one down responds and goes, because he has money. Next comment. What did I just read? Firstly, why would you ever believe that a guy who's cheating on their partner with you would ever see you as more than a side piece? Secondly, why would you want to get with a guy who. Who would easily cheat? Move on, find someone decent, and don't pine over your friend's husband. I don't think you and her are really friends, especially if you're talking about her in this way. You're in your late 20s. This kind of attitude should stay behind in your teenage years.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I agree.

[Morgan]

They're kind of clocking her. Yeah, but that's what you said, like, where you're like, I don't even feel like they're that good a friend.

[Nadine Bhabha]

No.

[Morgan]

Or she's definitely not a girl's girl because of the way she's talking about her. Because she's kind of okay with being the other woman.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It'd be okay if she was like, you know, my friend is. We're very different. And he obviously is, like, you know, feels more safe and comfortable with her because we're very different. But not like demeaning her and sort of trying to put down her personality.

[Morgan]

No, that to me is so absurd.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And also, she says to me, like, so I don't even know how they met in the first place. It's like, you're not good friends.

[Morgan]

Like, met at an event, which also feels like pure chance. Like they actually. They met kind of out in the wild.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Meet cute vibes.

[Morgan]

Yes.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Here's the thing. Here's my hot take.

[Morgan]

Okay?

[Nadine Bhabha]

What if she doesn't even know this girl that well and she just kind of like. She's kind of like Ingrid goes Westing her. Ooh, did you see that movie?

[Morgan]

No.

[Nadine Bhabha]

With Aubrey Plaza?

[Morgan]

No. But I love her.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Elizabeth Olsen. Okay. It's from like 10 years ago, I want to say. And Elizabeth Olsen is like, living this incredible life. And Aubrey Plaza plays like this stalker who follows her and try to. And basically single white females. Her, like, tries to take her life. I'm like, this is what's going on.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. Yeah. And like, you can use the friend so loosely. Like, did you go to a couple different parties together in college and that's what you're considering her? Yeah. But she's not your friend. I don't think if you knew her, she probably wouldn't have gone after him if you would have been like, hey, I've been actually hooking up with him.

[Nadine Bhabha]

That's another thing.

[Morgan]

And the writer even said she doesn't know his past, that he hooked up with me, that he cheated on his girlfriend. It's like, oh, well, if I was hooking up with a guy and this was me, my friends would know everything. So, yeah, they're not friends. I don't think so. She doesn't know her.

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[Morgan]

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[Nadine Bhabha]

She's met her.

[Morgan]

Mm. So odd. Mm. But okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming the water.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Keep it in. Girls be dribbling.

[Morgan]

Literally. Most episodes just cups do not work for me. Straws do not work for me. This is coming from R. Am I the asshole Talk. Kind of like this random little subreddit that's popped up. It's titled Am I the Asshole for Accepting a Promotion My boyfriend doesn't want me to take because he says it'll change our relationship.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I got offered a promotion at work. A real one. Not a lateral move, not a fancy new title with the same pay and an actual step up. More responsibility, better money. And honestly, something I've been grinding towards for a long time. When they told me, I almost cried in the meeting because I've wanted this for years. I came home that night so Excited to tell my boyfriend. I thought he'd be happy for me. Thought we would celebrate, maybe open a bottle of wine and talk about what this could mean for our future together. Instead, he got quiet. Then he started asking questions. But not excited questions. Worried ones. Like, how many more hours are you going to be working? Does this mean no more spontaneous weekends? Are you going to be stressed all the time now? He said this isn't the life I pictured for us. The life he pictured, not the life we talked about. The life he decided was we were supposed to have, which apparently involved me staying exactly where I am professionally so that things stay comfortable and easy for him. He keeps talking about how he wants a simple life. Less stress, less ambition, more time just hanging out and being chill. And I get that. I love our chill time, too. But I'm also a person with goals. And this opportunity means something to me. It's not just about money. It's about me feeling like I'm actually going somewhere. I tried to reassure him, told him a promotion doesn't mean I turn in some corporate robot who never comes home. I said we would figure out a balance together. I asked him to trust me, that I can handle more responsibility without abandoning our relationship. He wasn't hearing it. He said he'd seen it happen before with other couples and that once one person starts climbing the ladder, the relationship always suffers. He said he didn't sign up for that. Didn't sign up for what? For me succeeding? For me wanting more than what I have right now. That part really stung. Every time I bring up anything work related, he gets this look on his face like I'm already choosing my job over him by just being excited about it. And I feel like I can't even be happy about this huge thing that happened to me because his reaction has completely overshadowed it. I haven't officially accepted yet, but I know I'm going to. And I think he knows it, too, which is probably why things feel so weird between us right now. Am I the asshole for taking this even though he doesn't want me to? No. No.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Ugh. Okay. This one. I'm, like, fully on her side, 100%. Men. It takes a very special kind of man to feel comfortable and not emasculated with a successful woman. And I'm not being, like, you know, I know I sound like a girl boss mug, but I'm so serious. Like, I have personally been in so many situations where I'm, like, unattractive to men because I'm, like, good at my job.

[Morgan]

That's so wild.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I know.

[Morgan]

I don't understand this, like, this, like, threat. And have you heard of the manosphere doc that just came out? I don't know. Okay. It's this new documentary that just dropped on Netflix, and it, like, it goes into all these different male groups, whether it's like kind of a red pill group, the incel group, or, like, husbands first group. Like, these different male groups, and they're talking to men, and they're like, why do you have all these problems? And they're like, the society is unfair and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I don't get paid enough and this and that. And it's like, they're so close to getting to the point, and then they ask, well, why do you think that is? And they're like, women. They blame women for all their problems. And it's like, why are you so threatened when this is the society that you've kind of created and it's this whole thing, but it's like, I don't understand that. Where I'm like, no, you're still a team. This is not a threat. This is not competition. This is a teammate. And you could have your cake and eat it too. Totally. If you just got out of your own way.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally. There's something very strange about, um, even, like, progressive dudes.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Obviously we're talking a little bit heteronormatively about this, but there's a very strange dynamic where it's like, no matter how they feel about, like, large concepts, you know, equal pay.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Women in the workforce, whatever, when it comes to their own personal life, there is a disconnect. And it's like, oh, I believe that you deserve all these things, but. But just not you and me in this relationship.

[Morgan]

It's so interesting. Yeah. It's like you're. We're the exception. Like, yay for everyone else out there. But, like, our. Our position. Yeah. We're not gonna operate like that.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. And it's like, look, I'll give him that. The rat race of capitalism is not, like, the greatest goal to have. I don't know what she does for a living. And so I can understand, like, you know, you don't want to put in too many extra hours to make too much extra money in order to, like, for what? Truly, for what? You know, like, part of life is going on spontaneous vacations and, like, making time for your relationships and love. That being said, I'm sort of like, it sounds like that's a conversation to be having when it's happening.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And not like, right when she's telling you, I got a promotion.

[Morgan]

Put all of whatever nervousness, anxiety you have, yay, address that first.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally. Like, if she starts sleeping at the office on Friday nights and you see her on Monday morning, different conversation, then

[Morgan]

you have a problem or your relationship's actually suffering.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally.

[Morgan]

She just got it. You don't even know what it's going to look like.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Theoretically.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

He's seen it with other couples.

[Morgan]

You're not other couples.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally don't care. Even if that is what's happening. You can only deal with it, like, when it's happening.

[Morgan]

Well, she also is coming from a place. Like, she likes her job. She's genuinely excited about this promotion. Some people, like, I, I think too, with certain jobs, like, some people live to work and some people just work to live.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And she wants a little bit more. Like, maybe she's in between those two things. But like, again, she's excited. She loves where she's at. Like, as her partner, you should just be like, supportive. Supportive.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I get like, I want to do these trips still. Like, what does this look like? But I think you're spot on where it's like, that's not the conversation to have right away.

[Nadine Bhabha]

No. And it's like the fact that he even wants to have it right away, I'm just sort of like, oh, you're like, doomed. Because anytime an actual problem is going to come up, it's just going to be like, only from his perspective. Like, it sounds like obviously we're only getting her story, but it sounds like he's not thinking about her at all.

[Morgan]

No, it's very, like, instantly, through a selfish lens, how's this gonna affect me? I wanna be more chill. I wanna travel, which, like, don't we all? But like, still, like, this could be huge.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I wanna know what he does.

[Morgan]

I. I'm very curious.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Cause I'm like, if he doesn't work in corporate and she does and like, I don't know, maybe he's a tradesperson or whatever it is. Or maybe he's like middle management or something. Like, it sort of sounds like he is jealous of her.

[Morgan]

I could see it. I'm not seeing any comments from OP about, like, specifics of their job. But yeah, I am very, very curious.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Sometimes I'm just like, with, with the boys, I'm just like, just sit back and let be a kept man for a moment. It's gonna be okay.

[Morgan]

It's gonna be fine.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Also, no one's judging you.

[Morgan]

No, you Know, I think that's one thing, like, early on with me and my partner, like, I was supposed to be in healthcare, he was in music. And this is, like, something that we really, like, kind of struggled through initially. Cause, like, I thought I was gonna be in a hospital working Monday through Friday, 9 to 5, and then he's gonna be traveling for music and doing all this stuff. And like, you. You get to these points in your relationship where it's like, yeah, you can stress about the future, but you can only address it kind of as it comes. And I put so much worry and, like, I'm not gonna be able to travel or go to London. When you do sessions in London, look, here we are now, five years later, and I don't work out. I don't even work in healthcare. I have a podcast, and it's like, address things as they come.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally. I'm also just, like, so interested in, like, the thought process behind like. Like, I've been in several situations, mostly on dates. I go on a lot of dates. I'm a date girl. And it's either with men that I have, like, known for a while or, like, stages, whatever. Yeah. And it's like, we'll be talking about work, and then all of a sudden, either all once, I literally got a phone call from my manager, like, about a booking, and I was sort of having that conversation. Should I be having it on a date that's neither here nor there?

[Morgan]

Okay. Came up.

[Nadine Bhabha]

He was there listening to me have this conversation, like, kind of negotiating back and forth, whatever. And then I got off the phone, I made a nice chunk of change, and he was like, mad, and we're not even together, but the energy had really shifted. And a couple weeks ago, actually, I was on this date with another writer, and there was, like, this energy. There was an energy there of like, well, I'm doing this and I'm doing that. And I'm like, cool, that's great.

[Morgan]

That's great.

[Nadine Bhabha]

How many siblings do you have? Like, we don't need to be talking about work. Like you. Yeah. There was, like, an energy coming at

[Morgan]

me, almost like a competition.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, let me establish that. Like, I'm here at this level. This is all these things I have going on. This is like, almost. Do you feel people do it to, like, gain respect off the bat, where it's like, here's where I'm at. Is it an ego thing where, if

[Nadine Bhabha]

that's the case, then it's like, why are you so disturbed that I'm working? You know what I mean.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I don't know.

[Morgan]

Like, where is this coming from?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah, I don't. I don't know. There's, like, it. I do find a lot of people they're going back to, like, identifying as things. Like, find a lot of. Of their identity in their job and the label of their job. And so I feel like when it's like, oh, my wife or my girlfriend is a CEO and I'm just, like, the director of sales, like, it feels bad.

[Morgan]

I don't know why people get like that. Have you found, like, going on dates and stuff? Do people get worried that, like, you're gonna be gone somewhere for six months? Have you noticed that? Like, because you as an actor, like, you don't know where you're gonna go. You don't know what part you're gonna get, how long a shoot's gonna be. So you could literally be gone for six months or three months or two months. Like, you just. There's so much up in the air with your career. How has that played into dating?

[Nadine Bhabha]

I think for me, I'm very upfront with how I like to be in a relationship. I'm very separate.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I love spending time with people, but, like, soft long distance really works for me.

[Morgan]

Ooh. What is soft long distance?

[Nadine Bhabha]

That's like, I'm going away for three months for a job, and we know I'm coming back.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

So it's like, when you come. It's like a trip. If you come visit me, it's special. If I come home, it's special.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Not moving indefinitely for three years, but, like, soft long distance really works for me. So. I mean, if they're worried about that, they're not the person for me.

[Morgan]

Exactly. And I think that is her. I think you've gone to this point where you're striving for more. You want this for yourself. You're excited. It doesn't matter why you want this. You want this, and that's okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You figure it out.

[Morgan]

And I think you're just on different pages with this guy. It's really.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Being in a relationship is so weird. It's like you are an individual, separate person, and for some reason, the universe, whoever created the universe, made it so that we crave love and intimacy. And then you have to take another separate, independent person and MASH lives together. Yeah. When we have literally the whole world at our fingertips, it is the strangest concept. I'm supposed to sleep in the same physical bed as you for the rest of my life? Absolutely not.

[Morgan]

It's Weird. It's so odd. I. I truly am like, one of those people. Like, I believe in a soulmate. My husband doesn't. Which is kind of like this weird concept of where you. Like, I kind of crashed out for a while, where I'm like, but what am I like? You're just like, what? But I think, like, if you kind of look at, like, science and, like, oh, the multiverse could be real, like, this point in time. Or like, what if the butterfly effect affected this timeline that we're on and that's why we met and that's why we're together? Like, it is an interesting concept. And now I can't sleep. I don't sleep well alone now. But then I'm like, well, what if he needs a CPAP machine? What if I need a CPAP machine? How am I gonna sleep next to him?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It is an interesting concept. And, like, changing your brain to think not selfishly, is hard. Where it's like, I wanna do this, but now I've got this other person I have to consider. It is hard, and it takes a lot of growth to get there. And it's a muscle. You gotta learn how to flex it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. And if these people are having problems at this stage, I'm like, ooh, you're in for a world of hurt.

[Morgan]

Yeah. This is just a promotion, which is a good thing.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Imagine, like, a tragedy happens or kids.

[Morgan]

Who's gonna stay home?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally not him.

[Morgan]

Is it automatically gonna be you because you're the one having the baby?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Like, yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, that's where it's really tough. Really tough. The comments on this one are on the same page as us. It sounds like you've outgrown him. Take the job and leave the boyfriend. He's straight up telling you that he's inflexible and that if life throws you a curveball, he won't be there for you. He's not long term relationship material at all. Congratulations on your promotion.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Oh, my God, Savage.

[Morgan]

I like it. Next comment. He doesn't want a simple life. He wants a stagnant one. And he's trying to dress it up as a relationship concern so you feel guilty for outgrowing him. Mm.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I know the simple life thing. Really? I. I'm allergic to when people say that because I'm like, what does that mean?

[Morgan]

I know. Like, you just want to live on a little homestead farm, make your own butter. Like, what is the simple life?

[Nadine Bhabha]

When mention a farm to me, I'm always like, is this coming up a lot? It's yeah.

[Morgan]

Is it a new thing?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Everyone's always trying to like, I'm going to quit this whole life and go live on a farm. I'm like, you know, you wouldn't last two fucking seconds.

[Morgan]

Farm life is hard. You're going to.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You can't wake up before 11am you're going to work on a farm.

[Morgan]

Your hands are too soft for that.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. You're. You can't connect your Bluetooth to the frigging speaker. You're going to go work on a farm. I've seen you chop an onion. You're going to go work on a farm.

[Morgan]

I don't think people understand what goes into farming.

[Nadine Bhabha]

No.

[Morgan]

Like, farmers are the backbone of this country. I'm like, I don't think you understand what goes into it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I'm like, this, the, the diminishing of what working on a. Living on a farm. Working on a farm is for. For like, literally these like lost souls who are just kind of like, oh, my corporate job is so annoying. I'm gonna go live on a farm. If I was a farmer, I'd be like, take my name out of your mouth.

[Morgan]

I don't get why that has become like the thing. And I'm like, I don't. Maybe it's like the Nara Smith of it all where people are like, they're watching her make her gum and it's like, oh, this is so great. I wanna make my own gum and popsicles.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Didn't we learn anything from trying to make sourdough for like five years?

[Morgan]

Farming is not for the faint of heart. Yeah, it is not.

[Nadine Bhabha]

No.

[Morgan]

And I'm like, do you want a couple chickens? Like, what, what, what? Even then, what does it mean? What does it mean?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Literally, my friend literally lives on a farm and chickens get eaten by coyotes like every day.

[Morgan]

Oh, yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And it's devastating.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's like not easy. Cool.

[Morgan]

No. I just saw a guy on TikTok, he had a cow and the cow was. It wasn't going to make it. Yeah. I'm like, that is. That's farming. It is heartbreaking and sad and hard.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And then they're like, oh, I'll go live like, like off the grid.

[Morgan]

Off the grid and wash your own clothes.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You don't have one battle after another in the friggin forest, dude. You're never going to make it.

[Morgan]

This is the thing. I'm like, why do we, why are we trying to go work so hard when we've created all of these modern luxuries that can be so Nice.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's because people forget about balance. It's like this. We're talking about lack of nuance. They forget about balance. They forget that you can literally just drive to a lake, spend a couple days there, or you can just move closer to a physical lake and also work your regular life and then just at 5pm say, I'm not working anymore and then turn your computer off for the evening.

[Morgan]

That is one thing I miss every single day. Like walking into a hospital, doing my eight hours, getting my documentation done, walking out the door, done.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Bye.

[Morgan]

Bye.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Checked out.

[Morgan]

Like the luxury of being able to check out.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. People forget that. You can just say bye. Nothing's going to happen.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And I'm not like, you know, whatever. I'm sure lots of things. Doctor can't walk out middle of surgery, but like, especially when you type on a computer as a job, just turn it off.

[Morgan]

Obviously, you know, we have to eat. You got to make that money. You got to eat.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But yeah, I think there's a balance of, like, you can have your cake, eat it too. You can have the job, you can want to climb and get successful and do this and that and also still have a good life.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally. And to be clear, we're not talking about people who work paycheck to paycheck. No, you do what you need to do. You dream about the farm. We're talking middle class complainers.

[Morgan]

You know, I know it's tough. Tough gig.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

But breakup. I think I'm in the board of Breakup Breakup. It sounds like it's coming anyways.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Get out of there.

[Morgan]

Get out of there.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay. Moving along to this next one. This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. When it comes to your money, Credit Karma keeps you ahead of the game. And you can count on Credit Karma to keep up with your financial needs. As they evolve, they'll help you monitor your progress and give personalized recommendations so you can make strides towards your goals and find your way to money. Make sure you're on the right track no matter where you are on your financial journey. Intuit. Credit Karma. Karma. You can count on. This is coming from R. True. Off my chest. Okay, so just people going and venting and just needing a place.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay.

[Morgan]

It is titled, he wants to call off my divorce because my cancer treatment was successful. When I was diagnosed with testicular cancer, he filed for divorce because he said it would be too much to take care of me. In my province, you have to live separately and apart for one year before a divorce is granted. Since he Left. I've had surgery and chemotherapy, and my latest checkup shows no evidence of disease. When he found that out, I don't know how he applied in court to withdraw the divorce application. He told me that we can stay married since I'm no longer sick. And he was actually shocked when I blocked the divorce withdrawal petition through my own lawyer. I don't want to be married to him after what he did.

[Nadine Bhabha]

This is like the next iteration of like, again. What happens if tragedy strikes?

[Morgan]

Oh, my God.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It sounds like two dudes.

[Morgan]

Yep.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Who should not be together. Maybe people are really scared of. Of, like, having to.

[Morgan]

Look.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Taking care of people is so hard.

[Morgan]

It's hard again, but try. I mean, there's so many. Like, there are resources. I mean, caregiver fatigue is real. Totally. There's respite services, but also, like, you do didn't even know what you were dealing with.

[Nadine Bhabha]

No.

[Morgan]

Like testicular cancer. Maybe he just gets surgery, loses a ball or two, gets an implant, and all is well. Like, you got going before you even knew if it was gonna be tough or, like. And that's the thing where it's like, you just. You shouldn't be married. Like, if you're a fair weather dater, relationship person, and you can't handle when things get tough, then just date for

[Nadine Bhabha]

better or for better.

[Morgan]

Don't be. Don't be monogamous.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I know. This is. I mean, I could go on a soapbox about, like, what modern marriage means these days. And essentially, long story short, I think it means nothing. People. People take vows that mean nothing.

[Morgan]

I think it's. It's gotten really interesting.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. And it's just sort of like, at what point did you think you were gonna have to be there for someone?

[Morgan]

I mean, this is like. This is literally in the vows.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, in sickness and in health, like, that's. That's still a vow for a lot of people. And for me, like, I literally got married knowing that, like, if anything ever happened, like, I'm with someone who would not abandon me. I'm with someone who you would wipe my ass. He's. He's a keeper. He's a real one. But I think, like, sometimes where, like, people get married and it's like, why? Like, what is the motivation behind it? Like, I just learned about the Alpine divorce.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I don't know this.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. It's horrible. Okay, so it's this thing, and I think it's coming to light now because there's a trial going on where this guy and his wife or Long term girlfriend went hiking up in the mountains. Okay. And he abandoned her there.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Oh, that.

[Morgan]

He got himself down and she died.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yes. I didn't know it was called that. I didn't know this.

[Morgan]

It's like popping up right now where it's a thing.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. This is like, we're going off track a little bit. But I'm just like, people get married because they think that they should. I don't think every single marriage. Hot take. I don't think every marriage is, like, for love. We live in a weird society where we don't need marriage anymore. Like, it's not like two families coming together for financial purposes.

[Morgan]

The incentives aren't even great anymore.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, incentives actually can be really negative.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally. For me, the institution of it makes no sense. Like, I'm like, if you want to do it, you know, you still have to, like, for paperwork purposes. It does make sense for that. When you're in the hospital, it makes sense for that. Yeah. But like, the institution of marriage, if you're going to go through all of that, you better be somewhat sure that you want to spend your life with a person and deal with the consequences of, like, sharing the world with them. And it's not like a puppy. I mean, this is not even. You shouldn't even give back puppies. But. But, yeah, but you can't just, like, give. I mean, you can in some ways, but you can't just, like, give back a whole. And they're like a whole, like, universe unto themselves. Yeah. You know, I know.

[Morgan]

I kind of come from a position too where I'm like, I completely agree. Like, do it for the right reasons. Because like, hospital stuff, nowadays that's not even reason enough because you can do a health care directive and make that person. Sure.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And your common law gives you so many rights as well.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean, you can do your will and, like, make sure your estate is settled so it doesn't go to your next of kin automatically. There's ways around all of the things that previously were incentives for marriage and, like, tax purposes. There's not a great incentive for that for a lot of people. Totally like it. It needs to make sense. But at the same time, I'm kind of in the boat of like, I don't think divorce should be so frowned upon.

[Nadine Bhabha]

No.

[Morgan]

Where I'm like, if you want to get married and you want whatever, and people are like, divorce is hard. Divorce is hard. I'm like, yes, emotionally, mentally, it is hard, but no, marriage needs to be forever. If it's not Working anymore.

[Nadine Bhabha]

No. It's an expensive breakup is what a divorce is. Again. My parents got divorced, married each other again. Divorce again.

[Morgan]

Really?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Is this where you're. Where you're coming from? You're just like, I've seen this before.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I've seen it before. I've also just, like, been around a lot of divorces that weren't that big of a deal, you know what I mean? Where I'm just sort of like, oh, yeah, it didn't work. People grow in different ways for whatever reason. I watched a lot of reality show TVs that were about, like, finances.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

There's one Frick. What was it called? It was called, like, till debt do us part.

[Morgan]

Ooh.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And like, more than 50% of divorces come from a lack of financial understanding. And everyone goes into debt, and then people get divorced. And I'm like, that is too frail of a reason for people to get divorced. I'm like, we don't understand what marriage and, like, melding two lives mean. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah. What do you feel it means? Like, what is, like, is the bar just really high for you if you want to get married, or are you, like, kind of like. I don't necessarily need that.

[Nadine Bhabha]

For me, marriage is, like, such a non issue that, like, if I was with someone who, like, really wanted to get married, I would get married if it was up to me. I don't need to sign the papers.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I just am looking for someone who just makes me feel, like, seen and that I feel, like, feels complicated. But the concept to me is simple. You know, it's like, smart, funny, attractive. To me. To me.

[Morgan]

To you. Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And, like, understands my way of thinking. Like, we don't have to think the exact same way, but you have to have understanding for how I think and feel and vice versa.

[Morgan]

Yeah. You want the meeting of the minds.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Because otherwise, how do you deal with that person? How do you have fun? How do you have intellectual conversations? Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You know, I'm an extremely curious person about the world. I move about the world as a woman, as a woman of color. You have to understand that, like, there are just things that need to be in place. And then you can kind of be whoever, you know?

[Morgan]

Yeah. The intersectionality of it all. Absolutely. I know marriage is a big deal.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's a big deal. And we take it a little. We take it in some ways too seriously and too lightly.

[Morgan]

I know the pendulum, like, I feel like, daily swings back and forth in different directions. Like when I heard about the Alpine divorce. And, like, it's even just like, people that are dating and, like, they'll go hiking with a partner and the. The partner's walking too fast and she's like, hey, can you slow down? He's like, nah. And leaves her.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah, she get divorced.

[Morgan]

I'm just like, oh, my God. Like, I don't know. Yeah. It's like we respect relationships not enough, but then put too much pressure on them at the same time. It's like, we just need a balance.

[Nadine Bhabha]

We need a balance. I mean, you know, there's all, like, so many studies show that, like, again, this is heteronormative. But like, men, the subgroup that is the happiest within men are married men. And the happiest subgroup with women are single women. And it's just like when it so like, this. This gay couple, this cancer couple.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's so interesting because I'm just like, one of you is in the happiest subgroup and one of you is not.

[Morgan]

It's so interesting. We do get some comments from OP too. So someone responds. I'm going to guess from this the divorce wasn't the case of we divorce on paper so medical bills don't screw our family. Oh, as such, what an asshole move.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Dump them. No empathy, right? OP Responds, my province covered everything. My only bill was for the TV to be hooked up in my hospital room after surgery. All of my medical stuff was covered by msi.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Because they're saying province, so they're Canadian.

[Morgan]

I would. I don't know if there's other parts of the world that use province.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Maybe France, but I feel like they're Canadian. It's like, you don't have expenses for the most part.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Also jealous of that. It is interesting how typically, like, men will leave their sick partner versus, like, a woman sick disability. That's new. Like, women will stand by and someone kind of comments that nurses are trained to counsel the recently diagnosed spouses of men about this. Men leave their sick partners at a far higher rate than women.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. It's because women are, like, trained at a young age to be caregivers. Even me, who, like, I'm very caring. I'm like. I think a lot of my friends would be like, she's the mom of our group, whatever. But, like, I don't want kids either. And so I'm like, Part of me consistently wonders why I don't have those same feelings when I see a baby. I'm like, Like, I don't do that. And I'm just like, oh, is it like, Little Me, little Nadine was like, rebelling against this concept of, like, we are just caregivers.

[Morgan]

Do you have siblings?

[Nadine Bhabha]

I do.

[Morgan]

Like, kind of the caregiver, like, almost like, stepped in sometimes because, like, for me, I kind of feel like I was like, the parentification of it all where, like, I also helped raise my younger brother.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I didn't help. I had great parents. There are situations in my family where I am, like, I have responsibilities and it's tough, and I feel like that's the extent of it. And I know what it's like to have to take care of people. I also, like, we had a dog for 12 years, and I was like, that's enough.

[Morgan]

It's a lot. It's absolutely a lot. And I. I really appreciate, like, people just knowing what they want these days and not sacrificing that. It's just like, everyone can do what they wants to do.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally. But not at the expense of your sick husband.

[Morgan]

No, no. And OP kind of responds to that and was like, I was actually warned about this by medical staff after my diagnosis, and I naively thought it would never happen to me. Well, we do get an update. It's coming three and a half years after the original post. Oh, my God. So the first post I read was actually posted August 28th, 2022.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay.

[Morgan]

And this post just came from about a week ago.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay.

[Morgan]

This year, right now, OP says my divorce was made official yesterday. It's over. Four and a half years of hell and being in limbo, and now it is over. Last night was probably the best sleep I've had in years.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

Maybe only second to the day. I was told there is no evidence of disease. I feel like shouting from the rooftops because I'm free. I was diagnosed with testicular cancer on August 30, 2021. Seven days later, my ex husband told me he was leaving me because it would be too much to take care of me. And he didn't sign up to be a nurse. When I had my first appointment with the oncologist a few days after my diagnosis, I was given a warning about men leaving their spouses when there's an illness. But I never thought it would happen to me. Every person in my support group who was married to a man had it happen to them too. It was eye opening. I spent almost a year going through treatment. I had surgery, I had chemo, and it almost killed me. But In August of 22, I was told there was no evidence of disease. I don't know how he found out. But when he did, he wanted to call off the divorce because I had gotten better. He was absolutely shocked when I moved forward with the divorce and did everything he could to drag it out. I'm so glad the court finally saw through his games and now the divorce was made official. Four years and six months after he left. I haven't seen or spoken to him in years and I don't plan to ever again. Still no evidence of disease. I got a new great job with the provincial government. I'm planning a vacation for my 40th. Most importantly, I'm free.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Oh, my God. That's. I don't think I clocked that. It was a week after the diagnosis.

[Morgan]

It wasn't included in the original.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Nothing happened. It's like literally nothing has happened.

[Morgan]

Nothing. You don't know where you're at with like, treatment or options.

[Nadine Bhabha]

That's crazy.

[Morgan]

How bad is it even?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like what? Yeah, that's insane. Also, like, I've never heard of a divorce taking that long. Four and a half years. Like, that's half a decade.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. I don't.

[Morgan]

That's insane.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Or what he was doing to drag it out.

[Morgan]

Like, postponing appointments. Because I'm like, Covid. Like, this is after Covid.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Mm.

[Morgan]

Like, granted, we still were in like, living with somewhat Covid in 2021. But like, still. Still, like, courts were back up and operating again.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, they did zoom courts. Like, I'm like, how did he drag this out for so long? That's crazy.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I mean, that alone. I'm like, that's grounds for another divorce.

[Morgan]

There's a comment on the update. Happy you got rid of both cancers.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Someone was waiting for four and a half years to say that.

[Morgan]

Uh huh. Absolutely. Okay, moving on to this next one. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We love a hot take. We do not love a complicated decision. That's why State Farm makes bundling easy. With a personal price plan, you can choose the coverage you need and get a price that works for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Calvin Klein Euphoria. Calvin Klein just dropped the new elixir collection by Calvin Klein. Featuring three perfume intense scents inspired by a unique orchid accord paired with vanilla. Each one has its own distinct attitude. Its own universe. Bold elixir is sensual, woody and addictive. Magnetic elixir is sweet and romantic. And Solar elixir is bright and radiant. And they're ultra concentrated for a scent that really lasts. Find your euphoria with the Euphoria Elixir Collection by Calvin Klein. I know you hate a label, but do you have like a specific love language or like a way you like to receive love?

[Nadine Bhabha]

I like them all. I'm all the love language.

[Morgan]

I'm like, give me the gifts. I'm like, I love a gift. An act of service.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I mean, words of affirmation. Yeah, I'm with you. I like it all.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay, this next one is really interesting to me and it feels like there's maybe a disconnect between them. There's so this is also coming from True off my chest titled My husband told me today he does not like the fun lunches I've been packing for him for work for almost three years. Crying emoji. Crying emoji. I'm 26, female, we've been together for three years, married eight months. I'm not complaining about him, I'm just a little sad because I genuinely thought I was making him happy and I put so much thought into it that I'm almost embarrassed. I would sit on Pinterest on Sundays looking for ideas. But when he saw me today, he told me the truth that he thinks it's embarrassing and leaves half of it in his office if he's eating with the other guys. At work I always bake everything from scratch. So on Sundays I do bread, muffins, cookies, et cetera. I was making them in shapes like hearts. He owns an entertainment law firm, so in baking sometimes I did little law related designs on stuff. I know it sounds silly, but he's always stressed so I thought it would make him smile. And I was also adding a note with a little Polaroid of me again. I know it's dumb, but I thought it was fun. He never said anything before. Now I've been doing it since I moved in with him. He actually would prefer it if I packed everything normal. He just didn't want to hurt my feelings is what he said. The worst part is I was bringing this stuff in for everyone and on his birthday I made them all cupcakes with little edible briefcases on top that said 40 and I thought they all loved them. I always think things are cool that other adults probably think are weird. Even When I was 15 or 16, I was always immature for my age. I still Wanted to do kids stuff, watch kids shows, and everyone had already moved on. Now I'm getting like war flashbacks from my friends making fun of me for it. I thought everyone would find my lunches fun, but apparently they're embarrassing. Also, he's a good husband. I understand where he's coming from. I just feel bad and a bit embarrassed. Baking my cookies and muffins in regular shapes tonight in sadness. Lol. I'll get over it. I think I'm about to get my period though, because I could. I should not be crying over this. Oh my God, that period excuse coming up.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah, that's when I'm sort of like, well, I get, I get it. When you're extra emotional, you have feelings.

[Morgan]

That's okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

True.

[Morgan]

Blame your period for just normal feelings.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yes. I mean, that's what I'm saying.

[Morgan]

Come on.

[Nadine Bhabha]

We do. I mean, look, did I cry a little bit too hard at Hamnet the other day? Because I was on my period for sure.

[Morgan]

Uh huh.

[Nadine Bhabha]

But yeah, she sounds like she's having real actual feelings.

[Morgan]

This would make me sad. I'd be crying.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I. Okay, I'm mostly sad for her. But I do have one question.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's interesting that like he's been harboring these thoughts and feelings without telling her for years.

[Morgan]

Three years. Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And I'm just sort of like sometimes the gestures that we do for others are mostly for us. I'm not saying that like her packing him homemade lunch is for her, but I think maybe the aesthetic or like the way she's doing it is more for her than it is for him. Because if she likes knew him a bit better, she might notice that he hates the way that these are.

[Morgan]

At the same time I'm like, I think he's kind of just a immature weirdo.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I mean, if you're. It sounds like a masculinity thing is like sort of wrapped up in the shape of a cookie. Then you have some more inner work to do. This is like an interesting. It's kind of complicated to me because I'm like, he should be able to eat the briefcase shaped cupcake without feeling like gay or something. Because that's what it sounds like.

[Morgan]

What is your feeling? Like you're embarrassed, but like I understand

[Nadine Bhabha]

the childishness of it all. Like I no shade to a Disney adult. But like, do not understand. Like, I don't, I'm not, I don't like cutesy stuff.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You know, like hello Kitty has no appeal to me.

[Morgan]

Okay. You didn't get on board with the little Boo boos. Huh?

[Nadine Bhabha]

I. The word itself is nails on a chalkboard. If.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I don't like a cutesy thing.

[Morgan]

Okay. And so you don't like a trinket?

[Nadine Bhabha]

No, I mean, I like. I like an ironic trinket.

[Morgan]

Okay. Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

So if, if my partner was sending me like little cutesy things, I also would be like, stop.

[Morgan]

Okay. But an edible cutesy even then. See, I'm like, I love sweets. Dessert.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Right?

[Morgan]

Is me.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It's my middle name.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

If I had one last food I could ever eat, it would be bread. Great.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I mean, like, bread's amazing.

[Morgan]

So for this I'd be like, shut the fuck up and eat your cupcake, bitch.

[Nadine Bhabha]

The, the. The act of making homemade food is so lovely.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And I like that she's having the time of her life, sort of like making these things sounds like she's living. Exactly. So I think like, if I was the partner, I just sort of be like, well, she's having fun. Good for her. She's having fun. Even if I felt like I don't want to eat this like dog shaped sandwich. You know what I mean?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Because it's not me. But we've lost a lot of whimsy in our lives.

[Morgan]

Bring back whimsy.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Especially men. I like, want men to be more comfortable with whimsy.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Once I was, this guy asked me if I wanted to go to a cat show.

[Morgan]

What does that entail?

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's like a dog show, but for cats. So it's like they're like picking them up and they're like, they're like this, this long.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God. Like a competition. I went to one recently.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's so funny.

[Morgan]

They're so. And like the little feathers and they like get them to like jump and do stuff.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Exactly. And I was just like, God, of course I want to go to that. That's so whimsical.

[Morgan]

It's so random and fun.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's so random and fun. That shit I'm into. I'm gonna go to Bob Baker's marionette. Do you know Bob Bakers?

[Morgan]

No.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay. It's in Highland Park.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's a marionette show and it's been around for decades.

[Morgan]

I love this.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Whimsy, Whimsy. Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

That to me is different a little bit than every day eating something pink. Does this make sense?

[Morgan]

Yes. Yeah. Like it's cute every once in a while, but if it's like every day and it's like, oh my God, like it's over the top.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

It's over the top.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I think she needs to strike a balance. A balance maybe of like, it's not like she has to make normal bread. She seems very disturbed by like regular shaped items.

[Morgan]

She went from a nice braided brioche to just a loaf square. Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

But I think the balance of like having fun decorating for special occasions or for herself. And he also needs to look inward and be like, well, a heart shaped cookie doesn't make me any less of a man. I'm cold.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You know what I mean?

[Morgan]

I know. Cause I'm like, as someone that I just like bought designer cookies for my husband's like 29 hour musical reading. I've never gotten so much compliments in my life. Like people were obsessed with a bougie decorated cookie. And so I'm like, I don't even think like, like if my boss's wife brought cookies in and cupcakes in every week, I'd be pumped.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Of course.

[Morgan]

So I'm like, I do think this is like just a him problem and it's probably not something anyone else finds embarrassing or weird. Except you.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I'm like, I guess. Did you like save her from baking all this stuff? Yeah. But like this is what brings her joy.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I know, but now she feels weird

[Morgan]

and now she feels weird.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I'm like, that's the problem.

[Morgan]

There's stuff my partner does that I'm like, I don't, I'm not obsessed with it. Like he's obsessed with automating lights. And he's like, I want a hue light. I wanna, I wanna have our kitchen pendants come on at 6pm Do I get off on that? No. Am I gonna ruin his whimsy of automating all the lights in our house? No. So I'm just like, there's stuff that like you also kind of do for your partner.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Because it brings them joy. And I'm like, this is one of them. Where I'm like, you should have shut up and just taken the cupcakes.

[Nadine Bhabha]

He's. It sounds like he's a bit like, what's for dinner? She goes, soup or whatever. He's like, ugh. And it's like, well then you make dinner.

[Morgan]

You make dinner.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's a bit that. Yeah. You know, probably one time someone made a half comment about one of the shapes.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And it stuck with him.

[Morgan]

I know. I'm like, I want to know what shapes we're working with. The briefcase thing. That's sick.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I can't imagine she'd pick in appropriate shapes.

[Nadine Bhabha]

He actually might find. He sounds like he might find a penis cookie.

[Morgan]

Funny, for sure. You know, And I don't think she would do that. She seems like she'd stick within the HR regulations.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I guarantee you this is a Disney adult. I guarantee you.

[Morgan]

You think so? I don't know.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And that's okay. And that's okay

[Morgan]

as a Disney adult.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Look, some people are. My sister loves Disney.

[Morgan]

I just like. I love one. I love the food. I mostly go for the food.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Great.

[Morgan]

Give me a beignet again. I love a sweet treat.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I like, like going. Yeah, but I. I'm not like about. That's not it. Yeah, yeah. Unless Disney's calling, in which case I'm a Disney adult.

[Morgan]

Oh, yeah. You're ready for your big. Your. Your big Disney role.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Top comment on this one. Oh, man, I would have loved this. If it makes any difference, I think that sounds like a lovely and fun gesture, and I would have appreciated the heck out of it. I'm a lawyer. Do not give a fuck about what others think. Although I genuinely think my coworkers would have fawned over it. Someone goes, also a lawyer. And the people at my office would love this. Your husband's firm sounds a little stuffy.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Could just be that.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I think we. I just. It's like people have lost whimsy. That's mostly what it is.

[Morgan]

I know, I know. How do you get whimsy back? What's the first step to finding whimsy?

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's like. I mean, I have a pretty charmed life in terms of, like, schedule and stuff like that. So I can go to a marionette show in the middle of the day.

[Morgan]

I, like, need to look this up.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Bob Baker's marriage marionette. I'm also surrounded by people who love to giggle. And sort of like, yesterday, it sounds like I have no job. I do. I do work. But yesterday we went. We drove to Venice, and we, like, went shopping, and then we got ice cream, and then there was this penny hanging from a storefront. And it. Then you looked up and there was this leprechaun's note, and you had to, like, kiss the penny. Cause it was St. Patty's Day yesterday. And then we were like, we're all. We all probably have a disease. But like, oh, my God. Without questioning it, we just all kissed the penny, one after the other.

[Morgan]

Oh, you are brave. You must have a lot of faith in your immune system.

[Nadine Bhabha]

We didn't even consider, like, it was right afterwards. Cause we're like, oh, My God, the leprechaun's telling us to kiss his penny and then we kiss the penny and we were just kind of skipping along.

[Morgan]

Yeah, Lola gagging.

[Nadine Bhabha]

We're all in our 30s. This is like adult women having an ice cream cone. It's a great thing, a loose floating penny. And I'm like, that's what being alive is about. You know, Again, I'm not trying to impose my life on people who need to work and need people who like, need more rigidity, but you gotta find your pennies in the world.

[Morgan]

And hey, even if you're working, you know, Monday through Friday, 40 hour weeks, you get sick days. And if you get to the end of the year and you have some leftover sick days, call in sick and go find some whimsy.

[Nadine Bhabha]

My sister is a doctor. She's an obstetrician, gynecologist. And she moved her 24 hour call shift to come to LA, to come with me to Elton John's AIDS Foundation Oscars party. And she bought a dress and we were being whimsical as hell.

[Morgan]

I love that.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You know, you can do it.

[Morgan]

You can do it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You can do it.

[Morgan]

You're gonna absolutely do it. Find those pennies, guys. Wow. Yeah. I want to hear what you guys are all doing this week to find your whimsy, find your small little things.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Small, small.

[Morgan]

It doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be a trip. Like literally small.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Literally.

[Morgan]

You stopped, you got yourself a slushie, you bought the cookie that you wouldn't like. What are you doing to find your whimsy? Yeah, because I need some inspo too. This episode is brought to you by Vuori. It's the new year and a lot of us are embracing a this is my year mentality. Whether that means entering your gym era, social era, cozy era, Vuori can make sure you can handle all of it. Vuori has totally changed athleisure wear for me. I've been wearing Vuori for years now and every piece I have, I get so much use out of. A big goal for me this year is getting back into fitness and going to classes. And I know a new set from Vuori is going to empower me and make me actually want to go. I love that I can wear my leggings a little dressed up. I can pair them with a button up shirt and look cute as I run errands or take a work call. My Vuori pieces have really stood the test of time. They look great beyond the gym and I really feel like Vuori is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they're offering 20% off your first purchase. Go to Vuori.com hot takes and discover the versatility of Vuori clothing. That's v u o r I.com/hot takes exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

This podcast is brought to you by Carvana.

[Morgan]

Selling your car should feel like one less thing on your list.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Not one more.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

With Carvana it is just go to

[Morgan]

Carvana.com Enter your license plate or VIN and get a real offer. Down to the penny. No back and forth, no surprises. Just an experience you can trust, like your offer. Accept it, schedule pickup and we'll come to you with a check in hand. Your car, your timeline, your terms. Visit car carvana.com to sell your car today. Pick up fees may apply. I got one last one for you here. This is coming from relationship advice. It's 11 days old, titled I just found out my long term boyfriend, 23 male, had saved explicit photos from my best friend, 23 female. Okay, I, 23 female, met my boyfriend when we were just 14, dating since 15 and now we're 23 eight years together. I've always been a little suspicious of his true relations with my best friend, 23 female, but I choose to trust him. When I would voice my doubt, I had his phone and went through it. Not my proudest moment. And I found out that he had saved explicit photos in his Snapchat convo with my best friend. She was in the shower, covering only her nipples. I love him and I'm scared to lose him. I don't know if I'll find someone who clicks with me the way he does ever again, but I need advice on moving forward here. This friend of mine will deny any attraction or assertion towards my boyfriend, but it's something undeniable and I'm turmoiling between sadness and anger, all while feeling betrayed and frustrated for some of my doubts being confirmed. My boyfriend told me it was a mistake. He says he never solicited the photos, has no good reason for saving it, and regrets never telling me after it happened. He also swears to have never cheated on me, never sent anything back, but I can't see any other reason for him to have kept these photos other than for his own pleasure. This irks me, saving explicit photos of my best friend to get off to. While he didn't admit that, I just don't see any other plausible reason. He claims to be done with the lies, swears this is the full Truth. These photos were sent in 2021 when we were 18 years old, and it was during COVID They have kissed before during a drinking game with some friends. And my best friend's cheeks immediately blushed. I don't recall my boyfriend being visibly taken by the moment, but my friend's reaction was enough for me to lash out a bit. I don't have anyone to turn to for advice either. I'm embarrassed of this. How can I go to my friends and family and tell them about this, someone that they have seen me, grew up with for years, betray me and lie about it? That's why I'm posting here. I'm at a complete loss right now.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Okay, where to begin? First of all, again, not your friend, your best friend. Girls, girl, you gotta pick. But girlfriend, best friend. Yeah. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I feel like this is like a canon event, though, where you have a really close girlfriend, at least. My generation, like, growing up a millennial, I think we've become more girls, girl as time has gone on. But, like, I think there was still inherently a lot of competition in the friendships that I had at 18 and 20. And it took some growing pains to find my girls. Girls and my best friends. And not the ones that are gonna secretly text your boyfriend behind your back and tell them you're cheating when you're not. I've had friends, and I'm like, oh, you gotta go through it. But, like, at this point, like, you're still calling this person your best friend, and it's not.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I'm gonna counter that.

[Morgan]

Okay, let's go.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I've never had this incident happen.

[Morgan]

Never. Were you. Were you born?

[Nadine Bhabha]

No, I'm not falling for that. But I'm a millennial.

[Morgan]

Okay. Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I have a sensitivity to this kind of, like, person and will not be friends with them.

[Morgan]

God, you just got a good read on people. More intuition.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's a burden. Because a lot of the time I have to wait for other people to figure it out. They're like, oh, Chelsea's like, no, she's cool. I think she's also shy. And then they throw tons of. She has adhd. They throw tons of things. And I'm like. And then eventually she. You know, you clocked it early.

[Morgan]

And you're like, I told you I wasn't fucking with Chelsea.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally. And I'm like, she may have these things.

[Morgan]

She may be there now, but I didn't have that. That's an intuition. Like, for you to just have that, that's special.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I have gotten into so many, like, little arguments because I'm just like, I. I don't want to hang out with you because I think your vibes are off.

[Morgan]

Off. You have such a, like, sense of self that, like, not many people. Like, it takes years to develop that.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I could not tell you where it came from. Genuinely. I think about this constantly because I'm just, like, not. I was raised right, but also I'm just sort of like. I wonder where this, like, complete and utter abandonment for, like, how everyone else seems to have, like, formed.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I'm just sort of like this little dumbass who. No, no, truly. Who just kind of like, if you don't like that, then never mind.

[Morgan]

Like, take it or leave it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. And it's like, I. Because I also am sensitive to other people's moods and stuff like that. I don't know the way that my brain computes. I can't do my taxes, but I am very sensitive to how people are. It's give and take.

[Morgan]

But yet you don't seem like you're an overthinker about.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Depends on the person and depends on the situation I have. If you want to hear stories of how I've completely made a fool of myself in the last week, okay, I'll tell you. How long do you have? That's a different podcast. It's called Being a Fool with Nidi and Baba. But, like, I. There's something about a person. I can see one film through, like, that, like, little layer that people put on when they're talking to people. I can see just right through that. And sometimes it's like, I know that they're actually really cool. It works in the opposite way, too. I'm just like. Once we get through this, like, tiny little layer.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

They seem so cool and fun, this awkward facade. Totally. Yeah. You just have to make them feel comfortable, like, especially with girls. Not that I'm diminishing myself at all, but, like, I'm happy to trip and fall because I feel like I have a bit of, like, a. I have, like. I know we don't say this anymore, but I have a bit of resting bitch face.

[Morgan]

I feel it. Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I'm happy to trip and fall so that you see that I'm also a clown and it's okay.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And you. You can feel comfortable around me. And so I think my, like, goal in life is to put normal people at ease. If you're kind of annoying, I'm not gonna do that with you. But if you're in a room and you feel a little uncomfortable, I'm happy to Be the.

[Morgan]

The icebreaker.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally.

[Morgan]

I like that. So you gotta read on this one. Not your friend.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Not your friend, not your boyfriend. The thing about clicking and not being able to find someone, you will.

[Morgan]

You. You've been with this one for eight years. You don't even know what else is out there.

[Nadine Bhabha]

There are seven and a half billion and a half something someone.

[Morgan]

A lot of people. Google it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Billion people in this world. Majority of them duds.

[Morgan]

I just love how, like, God, you're so. You're so candid. You're just. You're with it.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Like, you're not. You're gonna have to wade through a lot of people. However, there are so many people that you will be able to click with over the course of your life. You're gonna change. They're gonna change. We don't need to be bogged down in. My best friend sent nudes to my boyfriend, and he's kept it. Moving on.

[Morgan]

I mean, it's red flags all around.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

How did he get those nudes? Why did she feel comfortable enough to send them? Did he solicit them? I have a hard time believing there was no lead up to that from him. No. There's no interjection from him to get those nudes. Right.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And even if she was being a chaos, a little bit of a chaos demon or something, and she's like, I'm just gonna send this. Whatever. It's like, let me.

[Morgan]

Let me throw a wrench in there.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Literally by.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Life is both long and short. Life is too short to be with people that we don't feel comfortable around.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And life is nice and long. You will find someone else to click with.

[Morgan]

Completely agree.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You know?

[Morgan]

Completely agree. And you're 23. You're like, the best age. It starts to get so fun.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You are 42 more incidences like this away from finding your person.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I don't even care what age you are. I'm like, don't waste another day. If you have an inkling. And you're like, I know this isn't. But it's fine for now. No. Do not waste another day.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Also, I'm like, we don't know where she lives or anything. I'm like, get out of your environment. If you're in a small town or something. Get out of there.

[Morgan]

Experience life a little. That's like, one thing I'm so proud my little brother did, because he's like, nope. I want to live in Duluth, Minnesota, my whole life. I never want to leave. I don't want to do this. And I'm like, taylor, just, like, just go out and see a little bit more. So he moved to Minneapolis. He's branching out a little bit. And I'm like, good. Like, you can always move home. You can always move home. But just see a little bit more of the world in the meantime.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally. And, like, my friends are always like, your person lives in. And then they're like. They're like, spin a globe. Yeah. Not real advice at all. And it's like, possibly in, like, Spain or, like, England or whatever. It's like, there are so many people out there to meet.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

They're not all going to be in Duluth.

[Morgan]

No.

[Nadine Bhabha]

You know.

[Morgan]

No. And they're not going to be your high school sweetheart that you met at 14.

[Nadine Bhabha]

14.

[Morgan]

Getting nudes from your bestie.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Also. I'm going to say something. Cancel me. I don't care if he. If you guys have been together for 10 years, since you were 14, he's going to want to see another pair of boobs. And you can't blame him. I mean, you went about it in the wrong way. Yeah.

[Morgan]

100. But the Internet would have been better than the bestie.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. But you want them attached to someone that you can, like, talk to. You don't want just, like, loose, floating boobs.

[Morgan]

Are you. You're. Are you a believer in the high school sweethearts and. Or do you think you need to experience a little more, test drive a few more cars? I'm gonna say you like a test drive. You like. You like going to the lot and trying all the cars.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I have. Look, I have their. There's this very specific couple in my life who have been together since they were 16. And truly they are. All of us are like, wow. Like, that's so special and cool. It works. It works for them. I think they're the exception.

[Morgan]

Rare breed.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Rare breed.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Everybody else, I'm like, you're weird.

[Morgan]

I know. My brother and his wife started dating at 17, but, like, broke up, like, a couple different times. She moved to Florida.

[Nadine Bhabha]

That's kind of interesting, though.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And, like, they went through a lot of trials and tribulations, but now here they are.

[Nadine Bhabha]

It's cool when it works itself out and you guys can grow together. I do question. I'm like, how little have you changed since high school that you. That this fits still?

[Morgan]

Sometimes it does, but they had to break up and, like, see other people and, like, go through a lot of shit to even be, like, to come back together.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah, that's it. That's to me, it's like a different story.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Like, my friends, that. That's. They just. It's themselves that's so crazy. They're. They are the exception because they have grown together. But I'm always, like, so curious about. I want everyone. There should be, you know, like, the Purge.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

There should be one year where everyone is single in the whole world.

[Morgan]

You love the chaos.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Everyone. Everyone in the world is single for one month.

[Morgan]

Okay. A month.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I don't know. I don't know what I would do with myself. I'm like, well, that's what I'm saying.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And you know that, like, you're going to a bar, everyone's single. You're going to the zoo, everyone's single. Like, you're out in the world, you had a coffee shop. Like, you're talking to your friends. Yeah. Everyone is single. Everyone is fair game.

[Morgan]

Okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

I, like, wonder what.

[Morgan]

What would happen. What would happen? How many. You must love Love Island. You must just, like, love. No, no. But, like, it's kind of that premise of, like, let's just, like, throw everyone back out into the pond and see who couples up this time.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally. Yeah. The concept is so fun. I mean, I'm an og Jersey Shore girl.

[Morgan]

God, Snooki. Yeah. Just another little chaos meatball. Absolutely demon. Yeah.

[Nadine Bhabha]

But imagine. Imagine what that would be like.

[Morgan]

Imagine.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And it's like, anyone who's listening to this, who's my friend, is like, you want that? Like, maybe I do selfishly. But I also think, like, it would shake up a lot of people's ideas of what partnership looks like. Yeah. Because, like, a lot of people's partners come from convenience.

[Morgan]

I know. I think people would see that there's a lot more out there for them.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Totally.

[Morgan]

I think, like, too, we're coming from a place of Reddit and getting a lot of these stories, and there's so many stories, like, even tabs I had pulled up for you today, where it's like, my boyfriend's mad that I don't clean enough. And it's like, well, what's he doing to contribute? Like, I think there's so many people out there that are in these relationships that obviously, relationships take a lot of work. They take a lot of balance, compromise, sacrifice, whatever. But it is so unbalanced. And yet, like, do you just not know what else is out there for you?

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Top comment on this one. Yikes. If he felt bad about it, he wouldn't have saved the photo in the first place. And if he felt true guilt over the situation, what he did, he would have told you sometime in the last five years before you found out yourself. Not good girl. I'm so sorry. Don't let familiarity excuse mistreatment. Hell, yeah, I like it. That's a line. Don't let familiarity excuse mistreatment.

[Nadine Bhabha]

People think breaking up and having to be single again is jail time.

[Morgan]

I don't. I don't get why is it hard? Does it hurt? Totally horrifically.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. But they also. There's, like, the stigma of, like, oh, you're single. It's like, you're garbage. It's so interesting.

[Morgan]

It's that social currency. Being in a relationship, having a boyfriend. It's that social currency. But Vogue just did an article that having a boyfriend is embarrassing. So maybe. Maybe we're growing. Maybe there's some, like, balance in that.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah, mostly it is. It's like this thing. I was talking about this with my friends the other day, again, mostly heteronormatively, like, you have the best, most coolest girl in your life, and then you meet their boyfriend or husband, and you're just like, this guy, this guy, he

[Morgan]

does not deserve you, literally.

[Nadine Bhabha]

And it's like, there's, like, no sense of humor. There's no, like, curiosity about the world or whatever it is. And so I'm just like, I would rather be single than my friend's all looking at my chosen partner going, this guy.

[Morgan]

Yeah, he's okay.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah. Or, oh, he's coming.

[Morgan]

Oh, the worst.

[Nadine Bhabha]

The worst, you know?

[Morgan]

I know. Oh, I want you here for, like, two more hours. You just have so many hot takes.

[Nadine Bhabha]

So many.

[Morgan]

So you.

[Nadine Bhabha]

100, 000?

[Morgan]

No, those 3 cents came in.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah, they came in hot.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Thank you so much for coming on.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Where can people find you on Instagram? But don't come, like, to my house or anything.

[Morgan]

No, no, no. Just Instagram. Your TikToks are also hilarious.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Oh, thank you. Yes. I'm getting back into talking.

[Morgan]

You're getting on there quite a bit more. Yeah, I love that. I will make sure Nadine's links are in the description. Easy to find her. And I saw you do an interview, and you're like, I hope I'm on season two. I hope I make it back.

[Nadine Bhabha]

We don't know. And we're not being coy. No, we genuinely do not know.

[Morgan]

You literally were one of my favorite parts of the show. You're such a good friend, and you got a lot of wisdom in there. So you clock. I feel like you clocked these ones.

[Nadine Bhabha]

Thanks.

[Morgan]

Until next time, guys. Bye. You're probably driving, working out, or doing chores right now. Quick tip. Tick Tock isn't just entertainment. It's where I find fast, practical advice for real life. Download TikTok now.