273: GIRL..

Summary

Two Hot Takes – Episode 273: GIRL..

Release Date: June 11, 2026
Host: Morgan Absher
Co-host: Lauren
Theme: “Girl…” hot takes on wild Reddit stories, listener write-ins, and relationship drama.
Note: This recap skips ads, non-content, and intro/outro sections.

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Episode Overview

In this emotional yet playful episode, Morgan and Lauren lean into a “girl…” themed selection of stories, hand-picked from Reddit and the Two Hot Takes community. From deeply touching listener letters about listener survival and podcast impact, to heated AITA and relationship drama stories, the episode runs the full emotional spectrum. Expect thought-provoking advice, snarky humor, and genuine connection.

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Key Discussions & Insights

1. Heartfelt Listener Write-in: “Two Hot Takes saved my life. Not in a symbolic way. For real.”

[06:12–11:59]

• Story: A listener shares a moving story about battling leukemia and being on the verge of giving up on treatment. Listening to Two Hot Takes provided much-needed laughter and hope, eventually helping her hang on week after week until remission.
• Morgan & Lauren’s Reaction: Both hosts get emotional, highlighting the unexpected and deeply meaningful impact of the show.
  • Morgan [09:05]: “You don't realize how many people are on the other side of this show… It’s so impactful.”
  • Lauren [09:50]: “It's such a beautiful and supportive group of people in those comments... a reflection of so much of the community we have here.”
• Community: Listener gives thanks not just to Morgan and guests, but to the wider listener base and the medical team.
• Takeaway: The podcast serves as genuine support for listeners in crisis; gratitude flows between hosts and listeners.

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2. AITA – “My husband doesn’t want me at his military graduation”

[12:27–25:32]

• Story Summary: A wife is told by her husband not to attend his Air Force boot camp graduation, even after purchasing non-refundable tickets. She’s confused after receiving an official invite from him, then told again not to come, with no clear explanation.
• Lauren’s First Take: “First thought, not overreacting.” [12:50]
• Discussion:
  • Both hosts speculate potential reasons for the husband’s strange behavior, repeatedly circling back to “something is fishy.” Is he cheating? Is there another family? Is he hiding something?
  • Key Quote: Morgan [16:41]: “To have your loved ones… you just melt into them… it’s amazing. If my husband was telling me he didn’t want me there, that’s crazy.”
  • Both urge the original poster to “show up” and get answers.
• Advice: Strong suggestion to attend anyway; lack of communication and transparency as red flags.
• Update: Graduation is still pending; hosts and community demand a follow-up.

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3. Relationship Loyalty Test Gone Wrong

[27:38–44:41]

• Story Summary: A husband discovers his wife was catfished by his friend “loyalty testing” her via text and falls for it quickly, even sending nudes and arranging to meet. Wife claims she “loves them both” and the friend claims he has run this “test” on multiple friends’ partners.
• Host Reaction:
  • Lauren [30:22]: “That’s what that is… did friend send a picture of someone else? Did friend talk to wife on the phone? Did she fall in love off text message?”
  • Morgan [36:33]: “You’re sexting my wife… that’s crazy.”
• Ethics of Loyalty Testing: Both hosts agree the friend massively overstepped, turning toxic trauma into sabotage.
• Update:
  • The wife minimized her actions to their daughter, but OP told her the basics. The stepdaughter insists on staying in touch, providing a bittersweet closure.
  • OP is moving on, focusing on his relationship with his stepdaughter and low contact with the toxic friend.
    • OP (via Morgan) [41:28]: “She said I’m still her dad and always will be, even after I told her I planned to divorce her mom.”
• Memorable Quote: Lauren [44:26]: “What are you confused about? You want the divorce. You’re more in love with a guy catfishing you for 10 weeks than you are with your 10 year partner.”
• Silver lining: Months later, the OP gets cheered up by a flattering catcall, showing he’s rebuilding his self-esteem.
  • Morgan [46:47]: “Since that five second interaction, I feel like a new man. Like I [can] tackle anything and win.”
  • Lauren [49:43]: “Note to self, holler at people more often.”

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4. AITA/Relationship – The Hygiene Dealbreaker

[51:56–59:02]

• Story Summary: After her boyfriend loses his job and lets his hygiene, motivation, and behavior slide, a woman breaks up with him. He lashes out, she throws back a stinging retort (“too disgusted to have your dirty dick in my mouth”), and he blames her for ruining his life and best friend relationship.
• Morgan & Lauren’s Take:
  • Humor and exasperation, peppered with empathy but strong boundaries.
    • Lauren [57:07]: “What would piss me off more than anything is the fact that he said, ‘you ruined my relationship with my best friend.’”
    • Morgan [57:43]: “He’s just having a little buyer’s remorse… doesn’t give you the right to blame her for everything.”
• Advice: Cut ties; don’t cover his therapy bill; reclaim dignity and don’t look back.

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5. Today I Fucked Up – Breaking Wife’s Heart Over a Sentimental Snow Globe

[64:48–68:32]

• Story Summary: A husband accidentally breaks his pregnant wife’s beloved childhood snow globe. He feels devastated and desperate to fix the mistake.
• Community Response: Redditors come together, quickly finding the exact item online for him, allowing him to make it right. He also salvages the shattered one with a creative repair.
• Takeaway: Internet community comes through in moments of need; act of kindness and persistence in relationships matter.
• Memorable Quote: Morgan [67:22]: “When someone surprises you with something you’ve just been having your eye on… you feel so loved and seen—nothing better.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Show’s Impact:

  • Morgan [09:05]: “You don't realize how many people are on the other side of this show sometimes… It’s so impactful.”
  • Lauren [09:50]: “...that's what makes us keep going, that reminder that there's so much beauty to this.”

• Military Graduation Red Flags:

  • Lauren [18:02]: “Show up. I hear show up. And don’t tell him you’re coming.”

• Catfishing Scandal:

  • Lauren [44:26]: “You’re more in love with a guy who’s catfishing you for 10 weeks than you are with your 10 year partner who loves your daughter dearly. You want the divorce? Shut up.”

• Compliments & Catcalls:

  • Morgan [46:47]: “Since that five second interaction, I feel like a new man.”
  • Lauren [49:43]: “Note to self, holler at people more often.”

• Dragging Out a Bad Relationship:

  • Morgan [57:43]: “He’s just having a little buyer’s remorse.”

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Listener Community Reflection

• The Two Hot Takes audience is repeatedly praised for their warmth, support, and active involvement—especially in the subreddit comments.
• Emotional moments serve as a reminder to the hosts of the real-world impact and responsibility they feel toward their community.

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Episode Highlights by Timestamp

• [06:12–11:59]: Heartwarming listener write-in, podcast saves life.
• [12:27–25:32]: “Should I go to my husband’s military graduation?” – hosts call the situation sketchy.
• [27:38–44:41]: “My friend catfished my wife and she failed” – deep dive into loyalty, betrayal, and unhealthy friendships; stepdaughter-bonus dad bond.
• [46:47–50:16]: OP’s confidence restored after real-life compliment; discussion on how little acts of kindness can make someone’s day.
• [51:56–59:02]: Break-up story over hygiene decline and emotional manipulation, calls to reclaim self-worth.
• [64:48–68:32]: Snow globe heartbreak/marital redemption; Reddit comes to the rescue.

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Tone & Style

• Emotional & Supportive: Honest sharing of feelings, moments of vulnerability.
• Playful Banter: Regular jokes, irreverent asides, and “interrupt the cadence” energy.
• Candid & Relatable: Both hosts openly discuss their own communication and relationship quirks.
• Occasional Advice: Real talk on boundaries, relationships, and holding people accountable—rooted in compassion.

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Wrapping Up

The “GIRL…” episode delivers an entertaining mix of heart and humor. Deeply emotional submissions elicit sincere gratitude and pride from the hosts, while the usual blend of drama, snark, and sage advice keeps the energy high. A strong focus on the podcast’s community impact sets this episode apart, providing listeners a sense of family and shared experience.

Catch the bonus content for more takes on Patreon.

End of summary.

Transcript

[Morgan]

So good, so good, so good.

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[Morgan]

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[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

We are going to do so good today.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

No one's going to yell at us. Really?

[Lauren]

No one is going to yell at us. Are you like, trying to manifest that?

[Morgan]

Yes.

[Lauren]

Well, I just, you know, I feel like we're, we're jokesters. Like our love language is being playful and poking fun with each other and,

[Morgan]

and cutting each other off. Yes.

[Lauren]

It's our favorite thing to do.

[Morgan]

I don't want to finish my sentence. Never let my brain work less hard.

[Lauren]

It'll be a run on sentence that will never end. You got to cut me off.

[Morgan]

Well, you know what's funny is actually I've been better about not interrupting you and I just let you go.

[Lauren]

Oh, no.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And then when I'm editing, when I'm editing it, I'll get to the end of your sentence and you kind of start like, you start like trailing off to where you're like, can you? And you're like, yeah, you're like waiting for me to jump in, but I don't anymore. No, not all the times, obviously, but

[Lauren]

we have a cadence.

[Morgan]

And then you'll be like, you'll get to the end. You'll be like, but I don't know. Do you know what I mean?

[Lauren]

But never mind. But actually, I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about. You didn't cut in exactly.

[Morgan]

But I literally. I won't, like interrupt you. So when I'm editing, there's like literally a five second, like break that you take in the middle of your sentence. And then I can tell you're waiting for me, but I'm like, I'm not coming in.

[Lauren]

No, you.

[Morgan]

I'm trying to be better.

[Lauren]

I'VE that's how I. I'm. I rely on that now. There's only, like, probably been, like, two times that you've cut me off where I've been. Like, I really wanted to finish my sentence there.

[Morgan]

Well, that's where you gotta, like, you're just gonna be like, shut upish.

[Lauren]

No, but, like, my point is, is that, like, it's so. It's like, usually the cadence that I appreciate. And so I'm saying that it's like, that's such a rarity for you to cut me off in a point where I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, let me finish. Like, that doesn't. It doesn't usually happen. I'm just like, yes, let's. Yes.

[Morgan]

Yeah, we're vibing, we're driving. We're gonna have a good time.

[Lauren]

It really works for my ADHD brain, for whatever reason, so.

[Morgan]

Okay, well, I'll try to interrupt you more today is what I'm hearing. Yeah, everyone's already screaming in their car. Well, I have an eye twitch from hell. I've had bananas.

[Lauren]

Hate when that happens.

[Morgan]

I've had water. I'm really trying to really hydrate today. So I've got a propel water, a sparkling water. If that doesn't help, Justin's bringing wine. So we're gonna have so much fun. And I've got some really, really crazy stories. And I let people on Instagram vote just now, and I was like, I can't pick a theme. What do you guys want? And girl was the winner. Girl. Girl. Girl. Oh, girl. Or like, girl. I don't know. Ever you want to say it.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

You'll see. Could depend on the story.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Morgan]

But this is going to be a really fun one. As you guys will notice, there's two episodes that dropped this week. One with Sarah Sherman and one with Lauren.

[Lauren]

Because, like, this one. You right now.

[Morgan]

Right now.

[Lauren]

Okay. I was like, what?

[Morgan]

Right now?

[Lauren]

What episode?

[Morgan]

Because this era one would have been so short otherwise. And I'm like, we. I can't. I can't do that to our family. So hence, we have this. So Lauren and I are still going to record for our full time, but the rest of it will be on Patreon, so it's a little bit of a tease. But you are getting two episodes this week, so I hope that's okay.

[Lauren]

Who's going first, me or Sarah?

[Morgan]

Sarah will come out first.

[Lauren]

Okay. That's okay. Yeah, right?

[Morgan]

Or should I.

[Lauren]

Or should I fight for the first spot?

[Morgan]

Ooh, we can make you Compete for it. We'll see who's better by the end of this. But okay, let's get into these because I've got. I've got some good ones today. Let's dive in.

[Lauren]

Let's do it.

[Morgan]

So this is a post you found the other day. And.

[Lauren]

Oh God.

[Morgan]

You were sitting here like reading it and you started crying. And then you were like, do you want me to read it to you? And I was like, yeah, show me. And you like wouldn't show me right away. And so I pulled it up and so I started reading it and then I started crying.

[Lauren]

Well. Cause I couldn't speak. I was crying, sobbing.

[Morgan]

I.

[Lauren]

And Morgan was like, I need to see this right now. And I was like, just wait. Cuz I've. I kind of wanted her to read it for the first time, like in front of you guys because it's just the most touching thing ever. But anyway, I honestly was hoping that we could save that for a rainy day because I'm like smiling right now and I feel like I don't want to cry.

[Morgan]

It's so good though.

[Lauren]

It's so good.

[Morgan]

And I think it's just a beautiful story to get us started. However, if you are a crier, I would say come back to this because it is. It's going to put you in your feels. So it's coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit. It is a couple days old now titled Too Hot Takes saved my life. Not in a symbolic way. For real.

[Lauren]

Oh my gosh.

[Morgan]

Hi all. First time write in longtime listener. I was diagnosed with leukemia a little over two years ago. I can remember getting the news like it was yesterday. The world felt like it was caving in on me. I kept asking, why me? Why of all people, does this happen to me? Hospital stays and chemo became my life and it felt like there was no end. I was constantly throwing up and bedridden with sickness. I could barely walk and had to be carried from place to place. Every time I got a spinal tap, which was every other week. I got debilitating spinal migraines. You get the gist. It was awful. One year down and there was still only extremely small signs of remission. Next thing I know, it's approaching. Two years later, still no remission. I was pondering the idea of stopping treatment and letting myself pass because I didn't wanna live like this. The night before I was going to tell my doctors my decision, I decided to put on an episode of Two Hot Takes to help me fall asleep. I Would listen to the podcast during chemo infusions to help pass the time. Love you, Morgan. By the time I got to the end of the episode, I still couldn't fall asleep. On came the end of the podcast where Morgan and her guests just chat a little bit. I unfortunately can't remember exactly what was said, but something made me burst out laughing. It was the most I had laughed in a long time. I wish I knew what was said, but it sure was hilarious. After having that moment, during this specific moment in my life, something shifted. I decided to wait another week just so I could hear another podcast. One week turned into three, which turned into months. Four months later, I am now in remission. I never thought this day would come, but here I am. I still have a long road ahead of me, but I am finally seeing some light. If it weren't for Morgan's podcast, I might have given up on my treatment and not been here today. Thank you, Morgan. Thank you tht weekly guests. Thank you tht listeners who keep this podcast going. Thank you to my doctors who are saving my life. Thank you to my family and friends sticking by my side.

[Lauren]

It's also so sweet that she mentioned the listeners too, because it's true. Like, this wouldn't keep going without you guys.

[Morgan]

So it's the whole reason we're here. I mean, we've joked about this from the beginning. Like, if no one would have listened, it would have been done a long time ago. Yeah, I've just. I've cried so much over this story and just how incredibly strong she is and just. You don't realize how many people are on the other side of this show sometimes, and it's just. It's so impactful. And thank you all. Thank you to people like Lauren for starting this show with me and just being here week after week with me and letting me cut you off all the time and just. It. It wouldn't exist without us starting it together. So beautiful, beautiful comments on this, by the way. Like, just you guys showing up tenfold in the comments. It's. It's been amazing to see.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I. I know. I. I read through the comments too, and it's just. It's such a beautiful and supportive group of people in those comments. And I. And it. It's also just like a reflection of so much of the community that we have here. It's a good reminder, I think, for both. Both of us, because we. I mean, we're emotional and we're. We. We're sensitive when we come across something that says that hurts our feelings online. Right. Like, but that's. There's always gonna be, like, that online. There's always gonna be someone who has a problem with something or, like, take something in a way that you didn't mean it, or we were tripping up over our words in a weird headspace and didn't even communicate something. Right. So, like, we get so in our heads, and then sometimes it's like, we forget that there is this large community who they're not the ones in the comments being like, I didn't like that you said this. They're. They're literally listening during chemo treatments. And that's what makes us keep going, and that's what makes us love this podcast and love you guys, is, like, that reminder that there's so much beauty to this and to not let ourselves get caught up on something that might hurt our feelings.

[Morgan]

Absolutely. Absolutely. I, I, I just, like, don't even have any words. I just. It makes you realize why, like, it's so important to keep going. And this, like, I feel like I messaged her, and I'm just like, I feel like you healed my burnout. Yeah, I'm just like, yeah, I'm like, you healed me.

[Lauren]

Say that when after she read that we were both crying and she was like, burnout, who?

[Morgan]

I know. Literally. I've already CR your write in three times, by the way, so I'm like, I actually was able to get through it reading, which I'm just, like, shocked. I'm, like, so proud of myself. But I sent her a message, and I'm gonna be sending her a little goodie. And I'm just. I'm so grateful. I'm so, so, so grateful. And I know I will piss you off sometime very soon, so just keep loving me. I'm so sorry, but here we go. Girl, girl, girl, girl.

[Lauren]

How do you feel when people say

[Morgan]

girly or hey, girly pop?

[Lauren]

Hey, girlies.

[Morgan]

I was gonna Google what girly pop actually meant.

[Lauren]

Probably means girly pop.

[Morgan]

It's a playful Gen Z slang term to address a close female friend. Hey, girly pop.

[Lauren]

I thought that's been around for a long time. Are we giving that to Gen Z?

[Morgan]

Google is actually.

[Lauren]

You know what? No, it probably is Gen Z, because I can't think of anyone who said that when we were in high school.

[Morgan]

You know what's crazy? It's even in Webster. Webster dictionary, but okay, here we go. Yeah, get that red flag ready. Lauren. This is coming from Am I overreacting? It's titled Am I Overreacting. My husband doesn't want me to come to his military boot camp graduation when I already paid for plane tickets.

[Lauren]

First thought, not overreacting. Let's hear what else though.

[Morgan]

My husband, 27 male, graduates from the US Air Force boot camp. It's about two months long before he left. He told me he didn't want me there at graduation. I, 21, female, was really upset about it, especially since this is a huge thing and I wanted to be there to tap him out. Throughout our relationship, he's made decisions without really involving me, including joining the military. I told him before he left that if he changed his mind to let me know because I would really love to come. He told me not to take it personally because he wouldn't want his mom there either, but she lives in another country so she wouldn't be able to anyways. Since they barely get phone access during boot camp, most communication has to be through letters. I got my first mail from him with his printed graduation information and on the back he wrote, quote, I love you. I know this part is on me, but I took that as him changing his mind about me coming and I got excited and bought plane tickets. I admit I should have confirmed it first before spending the money, but I genuinely thought things had changed. I sent him a letter telling him how excited I was to see him and celebrate. He recently got access to text briefly and told me he does still not want me to come and that I need to figure it out with the plane tickets. The tickets are non refundable, but I can change the dates. Hundreds of families and spouses attend the two day graduation to celebrate their airmen. And I can't understand why he doesn't want me there. I've asked him for a reason, but. But he won't really give me one. Am I overreacting for being upset about this? And what should I do? I feel stuck and about to crash out.

[Lauren]

Yeah, that I. He's definitely, he's definitely sketchy. And who, who sends, who sends an invite with all the information and then says don't come? What do you mean specifically? When there's like a lack of communication, right? They're not talking, they're using snail mail and he sends an invitation. Like please, what was he think thinking?

[Morgan]

It's literally an invitation. It's got all the graduation information on it and only other thing, I love you.

[Lauren]

I love you. I'd be cool.

[Morgan]

He wants me to go. Yeah, I guess he doesn't hate my guts.

[Lauren]

What was he thinking, do you think? Like was he just, like.

[Morgan]

I don't know. I feel like he sent it to

[Lauren]

the wrong person, probably wrong girl, literally. Probably.

[Morgan]

Who is going to be there to tap you out. Yeah, tapping. Getting tapped out is a big deal.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So if you're not familiar with it, I've seen a lot of videos on it. They make me cry in the military. I haven't been. So if you are in the armed forces or like, have a family member you've tapped out, please tell us about your experience in the comments. But essentially, like, they all stand in formation and are like military style until their family members go up to them and typically just hug them and then they can move.

[Lauren]

Yeah. It's actually. I don't know what it is about those videos.

[Morgan]

They make me cry every.

[Lauren]

So it feels so emotional because you see the version of them that they trained so hard for and they stay so still like a statue. And then the minute that their family touches them, they just melt. Cry, hug, celebration. And. And then it's like that other side of them is released and it's. There's something so beautiful about it.

[Morgan]

Well, because, like, basic training, like boot camp is also kind of meant to break you in a way.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It's meant to train you to be in the military. So you are almost without free will in a sense. Like, I think that's like my friend who was in the Navy and I've had another friend in the Marines and talked to them about it. Like, it does break you a little bit. So to then have your loved ones and just be you and just. Yeah, you kind of just melt into them. It's just. It's amazing. So if my husband was telling me he didn't want me there, that's crazy. After not seeing me for two months, almost 25% of the year. Just add one more month. We're at 25.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

What is going on?

[Lauren]

Crash out, too.

[Morgan]

Why are we married?

[Lauren]

There's got to be another person. I mean, why? Let's. Okay, let's just say there's not another person that's attending this event who's tapping him out. Even if that's not. What would be the reason he wouldn't want her there if she wanted to be there so badly. Like, let's just think about it. Like, is embarrassment, like, shyness? What. Like what. What are the other reasons? I'm just trying to think it through.

[Morgan]

No, it's a big deal when people don't have family that's able to make it. I've seen other videos where, like, someone's mom tapped out. Their brother's friend.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I think. Oh.

[Morgan]

Or something. They're like, mom tapped out. Somebody didn't have anyone. It's like, it's a big deal. And it's like she bought tickets. It's non refundable.

[Lauren]

Show up.

[Morgan]

Show up.

[Lauren]

Show up. I hear show up. And don't tell them that you're coming.

[Morgan]

Yep. I don't care. I'm going.

[Lauren]

Yep.

[Morgan]

I'm going to find out why you don't want me there one way or another. And if it's some stupid ass reason, like money. Yeah. Which. Okay. Money is important, obviously.

[Lauren]

But if. Then. Then say that, then say it. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Communicate.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

Babe, we're really tight. I'm doing this. I signed and joined the military for stable track.

[Lauren]

The last thing I want you to do is spend money on this when we could spend it on a vacation together. Once I get home.

[Morgan]

Boom.

[Lauren]

You could have said that. He didn't say that. So that leads me to believe there's another girl and I don't like him.

[Morgan]

Top comment doesn't mean that. Top comment. Why the fuck are you worried you're overreacting to him not wanting you at his graduation? You are severely underreacting to this.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And then they quote what Op said. Throughout our relationship, he's made decisions without really involving me, including joining the military. And then the person goes, how long have you been together? She's 21, he's 27. So they haven't been together hopefully that long.

[Lauren]

Never know.

[Morgan]

Three years. So you're together three years, hopefully, then you get married. Your husband doesn't even have a conversation with you to tell you, hey, I'm thinking about joining the military. He just comes home one day and says, I'm going to basic in a couple weeks. Bye.

[Lauren]

I can't relate to that. At least right now I'd be divorced already. Because part of me is like, oh, my God, that'd be so cool if I could just do whatever and not be worried about how anyone's felt about it. But, like, I'm not like that. Like, I'm over here. Like, I'll message my boyfriend and be like, I'm thinking about signing up for a workout class tonight.

[Morgan]

He's like, okay.

[Lauren]

And I'm like, any reason why I shouldn't speak now or forever pull through?

[Morgan]

Please give me a reason not to go to Pilates.

[Lauren]

But I literally will, like, not book it. I'll find one I like. And I'm like, can't. I got to go ask him first. And it's. He never. He never makes.

[Morgan]

You would never do that.

[Lauren]

But, like. But in my head, I'm just like, well, what if he has like a surprise? Surprise dinner plans? I don't know. I don't know.

[Morgan]

We overly communicate, I think. And like, I appreciate that. I appreciate an over communication in my relationships. Yeah. I just find it really nice. And I don't ever want to, like, make a plan and then, oops, I forgot we had dinner. Like, it's just nice to do.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Especially with big, huge life.

[Lauren]

Right. That's why I'm like, I can't relate to this at all and affect you both. And I'm like, I. I feel. I don't actually want to be like that. Obviously. It's really disrespectful.

[Morgan]

But I feel like maybe I could

[Lauren]

be a little bit more. I could just book the workout class and not have to ask for permission. Because that would be probably nice. Probably.

[Morgan]

You'll get there.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You'll get there. There's your resolution for the rest of the year. Okay.

[Lauren]

I can't. I gotta ask. I gotta ask. What if there's surprise dinner?

[Morgan]

We have a wine delivery. Hello, sir. Hello.

[Lauren]

What are you looking at?

[Morgan]

Special appearance. Do you want to say hi? Say hi.

[Lauren]

Hi. Oh, I can't make fun of him anymore. You grilled for it.

[Morgan]

Wine has been delivered. We're back. So people are just very curious how they met. People are speculating. They see divorce in the future. A lot of people then say, I'm thinking he's already got someone on the side and that someone is coming to graduation where she will pretend to be the wife. She definitely needs to go to see what he's hiding. Sounds like he was partying with the boys and met the other love of his life while saying he was single.

[Lauren]

Yes. Yeah.

[Morgan]

He clearly has a side piece or another family who will be there. Opie needs to go, even if it's just discreetly, to see why he doesn't want her there. The whole situation is beyond strange.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Update. Update. Update, please.

[Morgan]

So OP shares this in another subreddit. R/US Military significant other. Same post. And OP responds to a lot of people. OP clarifies that the graduation letter she received says, quote, it is my distinct honor to welcome you to our extended family and I am pleased to invite you to celebrate this milestone. Graduation events are scheduled for Da da da da da. Along with my husband saying, I love you.

[Lauren]

Well, what.

[Morgan]

What miscommunication. Do.

[Lauren]

Okay, either you might be right. He sent to the Wrong person because he's dumb. Or he maybe send it to her because the other person backed out. They got in a fight and then they were like, nevermind. And then. Then he told her not to come.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I mean, he even like wrote her little nickname on it. Oh, I love you, Big Head.

[Lauren]

Oh.

[Morgan]

Which.

[Lauren]

Oh, okay, then. Not to the wrong person.

[Morgan]

I mean, if he's calling two girls

[Lauren]

big head, like that would be a

[Morgan]

lot of people when they're cheating, just use babe or pet names to not mix up stuff.

[Lauren]

I'm gonna.

[Morgan]

The mailing address is in his handwriting.

[Lauren]

Imagine if you nickname all of your affair partners Big Head.

[Morgan]

That's like if anyone called me Big Head. Like, get out of here. OP does have a dependent id. We got it just before he left for bmt. He is actually enlisted. I received his TRS FLT numbers. I've seen him on the Lackland Photos website. I do send him letters through sandbox. There's nothing that leads me to believe he is lying about that. Basically. Like, is he even in the military or is just staying with someone else?

[Lauren]

Date update. Do we have an update? We don't have an update, Morgan. Oh, I for sure thought this one was going to be that she showed

[Morgan]

up there and it hasn't happened yet. It hasn't happened yet. How can I confirm or deny he's cheating until I actually attend his graduation? It's pure speculation. And so far I can only guess as much as anyone else. I'll find out when I go.

[Lauren]

Hell to the yeah. Yeah. When is it? Do we have the date?

[Morgan]

So as of seven hours ago, his graduation isn't until the end of the month, which it's May 28, but do you mean June? Like, does she think we're already in June?

[Lauren]

No, I don't think people usually think that.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Okay, so it's like, what, this weekend? Is it this weekend? His graduation isn't until the end of the month. He still does not want me to come. He said he'd pay me back for the tickets. If I go. I may not be back home before him. I'm not sure if I'll be able to go without him knowing at this point.

[Lauren]

Who cares? Yeah.

[Morgan]

That's your husband?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Again, something fishy is going on here.

[Lauren]

No, no, no. This guy. This guy sucks to say, I'll pay you back, baby. I'll pay you for like. Then that whole argument of being like, I don. Want you to spend the money because I want to spend it like on a vacation with you is out the window. So now he has no excuse.

[Morgan]

He really just does not want you to come.

[Lauren]

He really has another girl there.

[Morgan]

That's the only reason?

[Lauren]

A thousand percent. You can't convince me otherwise.

[Morgan]

If someone could convince me of another reason in the comments, I'd send him 20 bucks.

[Lauren]

Okay, wait. Actually please do that because I am so curious if you guys can come up with anything that could convince me

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[Morgan]

Otherwise I'd love to know. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from R. What should I do? It's titled my 35 male friend 36 male loyalty tested my wife 40 female without my knowledge. She failed. I feel done with them both. What do I do?

[Lauren]

Oh, okay, let's get into this.

[Morgan]

Been with my wife 10 years, married for six. I thought we were really happy. She's got a kid from a previous relationship. Dad not in the picture. I've taken on the role. We both work me full time, her part time. We live a good life. Holiday abroad every few months. No real financial worries, both in pretty good shape and plenty of love, affection and sex between us. I thought we'd be together forever. On to my friend. His wife left him in horrific circumstances last year. He came home one day to find her gone with their two year old. She'd left him to be with a drug dealer she met on Instagram.

[Lauren]

Lovely.

[Morgan]

It's a massive legal issue that's destroyed him. Since then, he's become very anti women. Despite having a great family full of women. He's constantly telling us all how all women are the same, et cetera, et cetera. Well, last week he sent me a load of screenshots. Must have been over 100 of them going back to November of last year and finishing on January 15. He got another phone and started messaging my wife, pretending to be a man from a couple hours away who got the wrong number. Within a week, he was getting nudes from her, sexting her, et cetera. By Christmas, she was telling him she loves him. And the final one was a photo of her walking into a hotel room to meet him and then angry messages from her asking where he was. I went around to his house and was distraught. He told me he had done this to six other friends of ours. Only my wife failed. He had the phone with him and as I was there, she messaged him, asking where he'd gone and saying how much she misses him. He's shown me that she'd been sending stuff like that the past week with no response. I left there without really saying anything. And I went home. And once me and my wife were alone, I confronted her with the evidence. She started crying and saying she doesn't know why she did it. And it just started off as a bit of fun at work. And then she got carried away. She said she feels like she loves us both and doesn't want to lose me. I don't know what to do. So I just left and went to a hotel. I'm still here now and unsure of what my next step should be. I want to cut them both off, but I feel like I will miss my stepdaughter so much. And my friends are saying I can't be mad at my friend as he did me a favor. Do you want to know what the TLDR is?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Friend catfished my wife and she fell for it.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I mean, that's. That is. That's what that is. So I'm kind of curious. I have some logistic questions, logistical questions, so I. Yeah, I'm just wondering, like, did friend send a picture of somebody else? And then two. Did friend talk to wife on the phone and did she not notice his voice sounded very like. Did she fall in love off of text message? She said, I love. She said to him, even when she was confronted, I love both. And she told him after, like, a month of sexting. I love you. Right. Month or two, whatever. So I'm like, did they have conversations on the phone?

[Morgan]

And some may.

[Lauren]

Some may say that that's not an important detail, but it is for me.

[Morgan]

No mention of phone calls. I'm seeing a lot in regards to texting. He did apparently steal a man's pictures off of Twitter to pretend to be him. So Op's wife did think she was talking to someone else. Like, they had met before. They'd met quite a few times. He got her number because they were put in a group chat together, and so that's how he got the number.

[Lauren]

Oh, wait, he said that he got the pictures from someone she had met.

[Morgan]

No, he took them off of Twitter.

[Lauren]

Okay, then what do you mean she'd met before?

[Morgan]

She. She had met that friend before.

[Lauren]

Oh, right, right, right.

[Morgan]

So I don't see any mention of a phone call, which you would think because they've met so much or that

[Lauren]

she fell in love, you'd think there would be more than just text convo.

[Morgan]

But then again, doesn't take a lot for some people.

[Lauren]

Yeah, that's true.

[Morgan]

You know?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And, like, everyone can say, oh, our relationship is great. There's love, affection, and sex. But, like, I mean, some people do just cheat because they need that for whatever reason, no matter how great their relationship is. So maybe she falls into that category rather than needs are unmet in her current relationship.

[Lauren]

Like, maybe it's something about, like, the forbiddenness of it that, like, she can't get enough of.

[Morgan]

Yeah, but also, how crazy is that? Someone gets the wrong number and you start texting them. That's how, like, scammers get your info and then steal your money. Oop, Wrong number. When are we going golfing, Dave?

[Lauren]

You know what's so funny is that I was, like, looking through, like, really old screenshots of stuff, and in college, I had somebody that called me. I don't. He said, oh, sorry, wrong number. And then I was like, yeah, no problem. Then afterwards, he texted me, and he's like, you have a really cute voice, by the way. No, no, but it gets worse. And I was like, I didn't say this to him. I was like, oh, thank you. And then it dropped end of there. But where it gets worse is that I was thinking he did too.

[Morgan]

You didn't share pics?

[Lauren]

No, no.

[Morgan]

I'll never know what it is. You don't have the number anymore. How long ago?

[Lauren]

I mean, it was when I was in college.

[Morgan]

Oh, God, Yeah. No.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

That's crazy.

[Lauren]

I guess in the screenshot, it might be in there.

[Morgan]

That's wild.

[Lauren]

So I could see what happens.

[Morgan]

I mean, I guess. But again, then you're talking on the phone. Like, for me, I would have a really hard time falling in love just over text.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Like, specifically you, because you don't like to text that much.

[Morgan]

I hate texting. I hate talking on the phone. I hate. I just hate technology, you guys.

[Lauren]

It's so confusing to me because I

[Morgan]

hate a voice memo.

[Lauren]

She sits here and listens to me, you know, talking circles for hours. And yet, like, I try to send her, like, a 60 second voice memo and she's like, nope, try again and text. And I'm like, no, I'm driving. Just listen to it.

[Morgan]

Thank God iPhone has the feature where it shows you what the voice memo said.

[Lauren]

You can't do that because it doesn't show context.

[Morgan]

That's all I. That's all I do.

[Lauren]

Morgan, that could miss so many things. You might think that's something that I think is hilarious that I'm saying as a joke, that I'm saying it really serious and it might piss you off. It's a bad idea. That could get us in trouble.

[Morgan]

You should just call me, then answer. I'll answer more. So, top comment on this. Well, that's a shit thing that your friend did. But it's more concerning that your wife fell for it. She was going to sleep with this stranger. And to top it off, she is the only one that fell for it out of the other wives. I will leave it at that. I would love to be a fly on the wall when she finds out your friend catfished her.

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[Lauren]

Oh, wow.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I thought that.

[Lauren]

Oh. Oh, that's so embarrassing. Oh, my God. Oh, that makes so much more sense. Why she told him that she loves him. Oh, that's so embarrassing. She didn't know that she's catfish. Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

Okay. OP Responds. I think I could get past it if it was just texting, but I can't get past that. Going to meet him.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like. And so people ask, was your friend in the hotel? Like, how do you get the pictures? Opie does share that he was in his car and took pictures of her walking into the hotel. So she was, like, really making an effort to cheat. It wasn't just texts. It wasn't like a little pen pal.

[Lauren]

Yeah, no, this guy had time. Also. Yes.

[Morgan]

Also, like, you're not gonna have any friends if you keep testing their wives.

[Lauren]

I mean, you gotta think about how messed up it is that he did it that long.

[Morgan]

Yeah, he literally. Yeah. Also, you're getting nudes of my wife. Dude, that's not cool.

[Lauren]

No, no, no.

[Morgan]

It. The.

[Lauren]

The minute that she sent one, I mean, even that. It obviously is questionable, but, like. But the minute that she sent one is like, the moment where you can go to your friend and be like, hey, I. I test her. But the fact. Fall in love with you, meet up

[Morgan]

with you, and then.

[Lauren]

And then we're texting her for from November to, like, three months.

[Morgan]

Yeah, like that.

[Lauren]

That's very concerning on the friend's part for a few different reasons. I get that the friend is traumatized right now, and that's his. His MO but it's not a good one.

[Morgan]

No, no. Also, in order to solicit those nudes, he is sexting her, too. So. You're sexting my wife. Yeah. I get what you're doing. You're trying to see if she'll cheat on me. But that's also not your job. Like, you're my friend and you're sexting my wife. Are you sending dick pics even if it's not you?

[Lauren]

Right?

[Morgan]

Like, you're sending her stuff. You're, like, inappropriately enticing her and creating this relationship where she's fallen in love with you. Based on what you're saying, like, that's crazy.

[Lauren]

Yeah. I do not blame at all OP for wanting to be done with both of them. I think that's a fair assessment.

[Morgan]

So we do get an update. Thank God.

[Lauren]

Finally.

[Morgan]

So update comes a couple of days later. Thank you for everyone who commented on my posts. There was so many of you, I couldn't reply to them all. I'll address a couple of things from my post. A lot of people said my wife did nothing wrong. Who? She went to a hotel to meet another man for sex. There are photos of her at the hotel waiting. She messaged saying she was there and quote, I purposefully hadn't had sex with him for ages, so when I get my hands on you, I'll be ripping your clothes off. And my own.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Then messages of her asking where he is, and even a week later when he stopped replying, saying she misses him. And pictures of herself saying how much she still wants him. A few people said my friend wasn't catfishing her and he was sending photos of himself, and she knew my friend is white and dumpy. The pictures were of a black adult film star stolen from his Twitter. Now onto the update. First and foremost importantly, I met My stepdaughter yesterday, we met at a park and when we saw each other, we both started crying and just hugged for five minutes. Every memory of her from when I first met her went through my head and I didn't want to let her go for fear of never hugging her again. We sat on a park bench and the first thing she asked is what happened. She's 15 and I didn't see a reason to lie. I said her mom got catfished and she fell for it and has been having an online affair for a few months and told another man she loved him. I left out the nudes and the hotel bit.

[Lauren]

That's good.

[Morgan]

My stepdaughter said her mom had told her that all she had done was message an old friend and I got jealous. But she said that she knew I wasn't like that. And her aunt, wife's sister had told her that her mom had cheated and I had done nothing wrong.

[Lauren]

I feel like that's so messed up.

[Morgan]

Just very manipulative of your child who's 15.

[Lauren]

It's just, it's just unfair. Like I. Obviously it's not her biological dad, but like, there's a big, huge relationship there

[Morgan]

that's her dad at this point.

[Lauren]

And then to do something that's like so hurtful to your partner, but then to try to paint them negatively to the other person that they love is just so unfair. Like at that point you gotta own it.

[Morgan]

Like, and the fact that like on the sword, bitch.

[Lauren]

Yeah, and it sounds like OP it sounds like OP didn't include the stuff

[Morgan]

that would be out the most damning evidence.

[Lauren]

Yeah, she got catfished and she fell in love.

[Morgan]

And that was the most like PG version that could have been in a Disney.

[Lauren]

Right. Like there, there's a lot of other people that would have like crashed out and been like, your mom's a. Insert

[Morgan]

a lot of derogatory terms here. Exactly.

[Lauren]

So, like, which is awful. But I'm saying there are people that like, just get so emotional because they're so hurt that like, they would say that. So the fact that OP gathered self and then went about this that way, and then just to have like his partner not only do that to him, but then like double down and be like, he's a crazy jealous guy. Like, that's just. That's not cool.

[Morgan]

I know. OP goes on to say, I told her I have hundreds of screenshots, but I won't show her them. She begged to see one so she could know I tried to find a non sexual one. And I showed her one where her mom said, quote I love you more after 10 weeks than I do him after 10 years. Oh, my stepdaughter was as horrified as I was and just said quote oh my God. After that we sat and talked for a couple of hours about everything. She said she still wants me as a part of her life and when I get my own place she'll be over all the time. She said I'm still her dad and always will be. Even after I told her I planned to divorce her mom. She said her auntie and her grandma both encouraged her to stay in touch with me because she told them that she was scared I didn't want her anymore. I said nothing could be further from the truth. I gave her a lift back home and we've been texting non stop since sending stupid videos to each other and she said her grandma said we can use her kitchen to bake together again. So we are doing that later today. As for my wife and my friend, I've told my wife I want a divorce which caused a barrage of texts and phone calls I ignored. I've told my friend I want low contact with him, but I did ask why he didn't stop once he got nudes and he said quote because you don't get jealous and I thought you'd probably just find it funny. Which is probably true. If she told me a wrong number was texting, I probably would say flirt with it for a laugh. Lol. I do get people's point though when they say I shouldn't be mad at him because if it wasn't for him it would have been someone else. But he did target her insecurities. He knew she was insecure about her height and said quote first time I finally meet an Amazonian woman at a bar and we have a good time, she gives me a false number. And he knows that she struggles with having an athletic build. And he mentioned his ideal woman would be tall and strong, strong built and how he doesn't get the trend for short women with big boobs and bums, but at the same time she's a detective for the police force and should have recognized she was being played.

[Lauren]

Stop.

[Morgan]

Sorry it's not an exciting update.

[Lauren]

I mean, that'll do. I'll take that one.

[Morgan]

Also knowing that like if. If some random ass number texted me like damn, I can't believe the first time I meet some short little blonde girl with big tits she ghosts me, I'd be like how does he know I feel attacked? Like when you feel like, oh, they're messing with me. This is so targeted.

[Lauren]

I think that when the insecurities are that deep, then when somebody is speaking to them, you don't want to believe anything else that's true. You know what I mean? Like, it's like you, that's what you want to believe, so you're going to believe it. Like, there are people who are catfished who have that gut feeling that they know that they're being catfished and they don't want to explore further, they don't want to know. They, they just want to believe it because they love, they love that so much. They don't want to see behind the curtain and find Oz, you know, like, so I, I'm not completely surprised at this, specifically, like completely targeting her insecurities. I think what's annoying to me is that she says, I'm more in love with you in 10 weeks than I have been with this person in 10 years. And then gets surprised that he wants a divorce. Like the fact that she's like, he was like, I. I told her I wanted a divorce and then she blew up my phone. What?

[Morgan]

What, what are you confused about?

[Lauren]

Yeah. So do you. You want the divorce? You want the divorce. You're more in love with a guy that's catfishing you for 10 weeks than you are with your 10 year partner who loves your daughter dearly. You want the divorce? Shut up.

[Morgan]

You're clearly missing something, so you're just upset you got caught and it's ending the way it is. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. OP does have another post that was posted just three days ago. Just found it. Not another update per se, because the original thread I was reading was posted in Scroll scroll scroll four months ago. So this post three days ago is pretty cute. It is titled I got wolf whistled and catcalled by a woman in a car last Friday. And it's honestly in the top five things that have ever happened to me in my life.

[Lauren]

It's your friend in a wig. Sorry.

[Morgan]

I've been in therapy the last three months and that one compliment has made me feel better than hours of therapy. And OP just goes on to share in this post. I was crossing the street in my work clothes. It was a warm day. I'd been working indoors all day doing a physical job and I felt like a sweaty mess. I left my tool belt around my waist, which was annoying me, making me uncomfortable. So I also look kind of pissed as I'm crossing the road. I just happened to look at A car. I looked up, made eye contact with the woman, and she made like a kissy face motion at me and smiled. I thought she was being a bit arcy because she thought I was staring at her. As I got next to her, she wound down the window and whistled at me and shouted, oy, you. So I looked over and she said, you're fucking gorgeous. If I wasn't married. And then she drove off. Since then, I feel like I'm floating on air. When I walk, I feel 10ft tall. I don't think I've ever had a stranger compliment me like that. Three months ago, I found out my friend had been catfishing my wife and loyalty tested her. She failed miserably. And since then, I've felt like shit. I've been going to two hours of therapy a week. I've joined social clubs to make friends, started working out, changed my diet. Anything to try and lift the fog. Since that five second interaction, I feel like a new man. Like I tackle anything and win.

[Lauren]

Note to self, holler at people more often.

[Morgan]

It's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I fall asleep. I know we are supposed to be angry and not enjoy being catcalled, but oh my God, do I feel alive. Dude, I.

[Lauren]

It's so funny you say this because I am not kidding. I just thought about this the other day. I didn't get cat called, but like, I had like, you know when you can just like when you're crossing the street and you, like, see like someone like, looking at you?

[Morgan]

And then I was just thinking about

[Lauren]

how, like, I have never been one to, like, take offense to it. And it's so funny because, like, when I was a little, like, not a little kid, but, like, I don't know, I was like 15 years old, like, walking around Lake Harriet with like my two girlfriends and some guys were like, oh, hey, like, whistling at us, whatever. And my friends were like, ew. Like, that's so weird. And like, don't. Don't know that. And I was just like, yeah, that's. I'm not gonna be so flattered about

[Morgan]

that for the next year.

[Lauren]

No, no chance. I'm just gonna.

[Morgan]

My favorite is when out here in la, you were just like walking down the street and some guy saw you in his car and there, like, wasn't parking. So he literally just stopped his car in the busy streets of la. Like, you guys, this was Sunset Boulevard. And he stopped his car and, like, ran out to talk to Lauren and He's getting honked at.

[Lauren]

Like, honestly, maybe that's why. Maybe I, like, invited that energy over time that.

[Morgan]

Like, that you just don't have a resting bitch face. Like, you really don't. Like, you look very approachable and just like. I mean, you're so cute.

[Lauren]

Oh, you're so cute.

[Morgan]

You are. I have my days.

[Lauren]

You. Well, today is one of them.

[Morgan]

I have my days, but it's just so funny. But I think we do need to. Like, there's a difference between making someone uncomfortable and calling them. Like, if it's a woman walking down the street and it's, like, a group of dudes, that's uncomfortable. But I do think we need to be more open complimenting people. Yeah. Like, we got coffee the other day, and the guy was so cute. He was just so nice and bubbly and warm, and I just literally wanted to be like, you're so cute.

[Lauren]

Yeah. You were saying that.

[Morgan]

I'm like, I wish it wasn't weird to do that.

[Lauren]

Say that. Yeah.

[Morgan]

But, like, I don't know.

[Lauren]

You never know.

[Morgan]

You're so nice. Like, thank you. This interaction made my day.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Just telling people nice compliments that aren't going to weird them out.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Morgan]

Because there's nothing better. And, like, look at the change it's

[Lauren]

made in this dude's life. I know.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And that's why I'm, like. I'm not saying. I'm not saying this is, like, a PSA to go and, like, cat call people by any means, but I don't know why. For some reason, I just, like, didn't get that, like, that feature where I'm like. Like, I get flattered if anyone. I don't. So I feel. I feel op, is all I'm trying to say.

[Morgan]

You feel op? I like that. I feel op.

[Lauren]

I'm good.

[Morgan]

Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Amaze, amaze, amaze.

[Lauren]

You're really cute. Did you know that?

[Morgan]

I have not been feeling cute. Well, you're really cute.

[Lauren]

I actually, you know what? When you turned around and walked over here after looking in the mirror, I was gonna say, you look really good. Thank you. But instead, we just started talking about other things.

[Morgan]

Thank you.

[Lauren]

But maybe I should pause the conversation.

[Morgan]

Thank you.

[Lauren]

Yes. And say those moments when they come to mind. I will do.

[Morgan]

I've really been struggling lately because, like, I did my chin surgery and I still have a lot of residual swelling. And I've also, like, not gotten back into my health kick as much as I want to. So I've been feeling a little meh lately, so I appreciate that. Thank you.

[Lauren]

Well, you don't look meh.

[Morgan]

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[Morgan]

Critics are calling it Pixar's funniest movie ever and a wildly entertaining ride. Blizzard Potato. It's certified fresh and verified hot. Now we party. This is incredible.

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[Morgan]

I am clearing the rest of the day. Disney and Pixar's Hoppers now available on Disney.

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[Morgan]

It says meh though. What this next one? Mm. This is coming from r RelationshipAdvice titled I, 24 Female, Dumped My Boyfriend, 27 Male and Called him dirty. Now he's acting like I ruined his life and self esteem.

[Lauren]

Ruined.

[Morgan]

I'm working on it bitches.

[Lauren]

Same about 4 years ago I got

[Morgan]

dumped by a guy I thought was the love of my life. He was cheating on me for months before that and I knew about it but refused to acknowledge it. I don't even know how to explain it. I was just so in love I felt like I couldn't function without him anyways. One of the people that offered me most support then was his absolute best friend who chose to stay friends with me after I was dumped and stopped talking to my ex. We started dating a couple of months after the breakup. I truly loved him. He was smart, handsome, funny, tall, pretty eyes, you name it. It took me some time to actually feel like I wanted to be in a relationship with him. Mostly due to the insane guilt and knowing the fact that he was my ex's best friend. It just felt wrong. We were in a relationship for three and a half years and towards the beginning of the third year it really started getting worse. He lost his job, refused to get a full time position because everything was just wrong for him. We lived together so I paid a significant amount of our monthly expenses. He also started to lack hygiene and generally looked worse. He was bathing maybe once a week, didn't brush his teeth every night, constantly walked around in the same clothes, even though I washed his stuff regularly. He wouldn't take me on dates, walks. He would refuse to drive his car if I didn't pay for the gas. And when I refused, he would just stay home and ignore every responsibility that required him to get in the car. He also started being a smart ass at the lack of a better word. Every opinion I shared was wrong, and it felt like our conversations were just him mansplaining things to me. A week ago, I broke up with him. I was so done with everything and every conversation was just him disagreeing with my feelings. Anyways, I wanted to be civil, but the moment I sat him down and I told him, it was like he went through all the stages of grief at once. He begged me to stay and then cried, then yelled at me. And eventually he told me, and I quote, you suck at giving head. Anyway, this got me so mad. Not because I felt personally attacked, but because it was such a disrespectful thing to say in a moment like this. My response was basically something along the lines of, quote, I don't. I'm just too disgusted to have your dirty dick in my mouth.

[Lauren]

Brilliant.

[Morgan]

Then he cried again, looked at me like he wanted to slap the shit out of me, and stormed out. He texted me a few times saying how awful I was to him and how I broke his heart and ruined his friendship with his best friend. He also told me I made him feel unattractive and wounded his self esteem. So I will be covering his therapy bill. Mmm.

[Lauren]

Good luck with that, buddy.

[Morgan]

What can I do to resolve this? I'd still be willing to work on us. What if he was reflective?

[Lauren]

Excuse me.

[Morgan]

Any ideas how I should get through to him? Or is it better to give up?

[Lauren]

Don't piss me off right now, girl. Girly Pop.

[Morgan]

Hey, girly Pop.

[Lauren]

You have a word with you?

[Morgan]

What? Mm.

[Lauren]

Someone who can physically touch her.

[Morgan]

Kidnap her. Kidnap her in a consensual way.

[Lauren]

Yeah, definitely. And some talk. Some sense in her.

[Morgan]

This is crazy. Someone take her to Chili's and get drunk.

[Lauren]

That's a good one, too.

[Morgan]

Just like, get her out of the house.

[Lauren]

Someone take me to Chili's and get drunk.

[Morgan]

Can we go?

[Lauren]

Looking at you, we go.

[Morgan]

I missed out on the wicked drinks. They looked so good.

[Lauren]

Is there Chili's around here or Applebee's?

[Morgan]

Applebees. That's half off abs, man.

[Lauren]

That's my home. I don't really know about Chili's, but, like, that could. I could get down with that. But, like, Applebee's. Like, there's. There's some heart and soul in that place anyway.

[Morgan]

There really is. Where?

[Lauren]

So do we have anyone near? But we. We can move on. But anyway, is there one year?

[Morgan]

Yeah, for sure.

[Lauren]

All right, we'll find one. All right.

[Morgan]

You know where I went the other day? Rainforest Cafe.

[Lauren]

No way.

[Morgan]

So, a vibe.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Yeah, there's only, like six or seven left. Not many. They're going down.

[Lauren]

So cool.

[Morgan]

A mall of America.

[Lauren]

Yeah, it was pretty good. Yeah.

[Morgan]

This one, though. Yeah, it's better to give up. Give up. Cut your losses. Give up. Send him your therapy bill. And I'm just like, what,

[Lauren]

no words?

[Morgan]

The top comment quote, you sucked at giving head anyways is an insane answer. Makes me think he went after you for your looks. Plus, you were vulnerable. Then he turned right into a mama's boy. Maybe stop being in a relationship for a while.

[Lauren]

You know what would piss me off more than anything?

[Morgan]

You tell me.

[Lauren]

Is the fact that he said, you ruined my relationship with my best friend.

[Morgan]

You did that, sir. That was your choice.

[Lauren]

That was you. I mean, could have said bye.

[Morgan]

Yeah, exactly. Bye. Bye. Bye. Nice knowing you. You didn't have to date me. You didn't have to pursue me.

[Lauren]

You didn't have to.

[Morgan]

Still been cordial.

[Lauren]

You didn't have to do any of those things. Like what? What that was. She didn't make you do anything. And unless she was hypnotizing you and we don't know about it, pretty sure she wasn't, that's on you, buddy.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I think he's just having a little buyer's remorse. And, you know, maybe he's going through a funk, maybe he's dealing with some mental health issues, but that doesn't give you the right to then blame her for everything.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Morgan]

Like, you kind of need to work on your mental health and get back on track and, you know, be in a healthy, happy spot.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And if it was this relationship that's dragging you down, then, hey, go your own ways. You're better apart. You get back on track. I'm sure you can make friends with your buddy again. Yeah, guys become friends again over less, maybe bigger.

[Lauren]

You never know.

[Morgan]

Guys become friends over more intense issues.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I mean, last story, this guy was contemplating still having his low contact, not even done with him.

[Morgan]

I have people in my life that they have friends that they're still friends with. Guys. I'm thinking guys in my life specifically. I'm not trying to be super identifying, but I have guys in my life that have had the shittiest, shittiest friends, and they're still super close with them.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like, I think guys operate a little differently in their relationships sometimes.

[Lauren]

Some of them. Yeah.

[Morgan]

And I think maybe it's because they're not as emotionally vulnerable.

[Lauren]

So they're like.

[Morgan]

I'm speculating.

[Lauren]

Like, sports.

[Morgan]

All right, you want to go hunting? Okay.

[Lauren]

That's cool with me.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So I think things are changing, though. I think that, like, people are getting so much more in touch with the genuine, true connection. And I don't know, at least, like, I've been hearing it and seeing it where, you know, there used to be, like, this common norm of, like, guy friendships being, like, pretty surface level. And I think that, like, it's been. It's been changing.

[Morgan]

I love that.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I want guys to have the intense emotional relationships women typically have. I would love that for them. Everyone deserves that, to have the support and the whimsy. Find the whimsy, dude.

[Lauren]

Whimsy.

[Morgan]

Find that whimsy. Go dress up with your friends and go cosplay around the park or, I don't know, paint each other's nails. Like, whatever you want to do for fun. You should try everything at least once, right?

[Lauren]

Totally. I. Whimsy also just reminded me of it. Unlocked a memory that I completely had stored away and forgotten about. But in college, one of my friends said the phrase whiskey dick, and I thought she said wispy dick. And when I repeat it to her, she could. She never let it go.

[Morgan]

Wispy.

[Lauren]

She. Wispy dick.

[Morgan]

I really do like the word wispy. It's got a ring to it.

[Lauren]

She would, like, interact and she'd be like.

[Morgan]

Like, oh, my God, I'm just envisioning the car.

[Lauren]

Car lot.

[Morgan]

Exactly.

[Lauren]

That's what she would do.

[Morgan]

And I'm like, guys, I'm like, stop.

[Lauren]

I just thought that's what you.

[Morgan]

You said. We don't have an update from our lovely op yet. They are pretty active in other subs. They are sharing things. Like, they're a psychologist. They've posted an R. Drugs. Why am I always tripping out when I smoke? They're building a PC and they're looking for advice on building a PC. So maybe we'll get some updates. I mean, they do share pictures of their dog. It's like a really cute little bloodhound type dog. Looks like a little hound. And here's a picture of it wearing antlers. So it is giving real account. And I hope she sees the comments and is Then like, oh, yeah, no, I got. I gotta run. Like, this ain't. This ain't cool.

[Lauren]

See, I assume all of them are real. So when you say that, I'm like,

[Morgan]

I've been checking some fake. No, I've been checking a lot more because I think, like, a lot of times people will. If they are gonna karma farm, they will very quickly have a post, go viral and then share nudes or an only fans link on their account. So I have been checking more, and I really look for, like, verified email accounts, been around for a while, things like that. Yeah. Like the military one.

[Lauren]

Are there nudes on Reddit?

[Morgan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lauren]

Whoa.

[Morgan]

Yeah, there's, like. There's a lot. There's a lot you can see on Reddit.

[Lauren]

So you must have come across a lot of nudes then. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Even, like, Twitter, though.

[Lauren]

I know.

[Morgan]

I was researching a case for clues, and one of our researchers on it, like, on the script included a link for this suspects porn. And I didn't think. I'm like, there's no way Yelena would have, like, actually found this dude's porn. Click the link, and it's literally. And it's on Twitter. And I'm just like, yeah, no, it's crazy. I know. It's wild.

[Lauren]

One of my friends was seeing a girl whose mom was on Twitter posting,

[Morgan]

like, I remember that.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Like, yeah, she was a sex worker.

[Lauren]

It was like a schoolgirl scene is what I remember. I mean, there was a ton. The entire profile was that. But. But, like, this girl was not at all in the scene, and she's an adult. And her two parents, like, that's what they did for a living. I think it would be tough, like, dating people and knowing that they're gonna find your mom. And, like, specifically when you're younger, like, around those, like, teen. Young teen ages, like that. And it's just. It feels too accessible. Like, I'm not trying to change the way things work, but, like, it feels so accessible to just be, like, on Twitter where. Like, where you could just pop up,

[Morgan]

but, like, oh, so it's free?

[Lauren]

Like, are you interested in it? Like, you might like this page and then, like, come across like, your teen crush's mom. It's like, oh, shoot, we have one last one.

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[Morgan]

for us here and then we're heading over to Patreon. Okay, so this one is coming from Today I Fucked Up. It is titled Today I Fucked Up Breaking My wife's heart in 20 pieces.

[Lauren]

I don't know if I want to hear this one.

[Morgan]

My wife is pregnant and she is a saint. She's done everything for me and turned my life around. She supported me when I was just a piece of shit without a job. She's shown me what family means. She is so strong and she works so hard even while pregnant and I try to get her to slow down but she won't. We even spent the last two weekends ripping out the carpet and painting our son's nursery to get prepared. My wife had this old snow globe that looked like a duck in a bathtub that she got from her mother as a little girl. As I was moving the furniture back into our son's nursery after we finished painting, it fell and broke. She broke down and she's pissed and I can't blame her. I looked everywhere for one and the only place I can find to buy it. It's not even the same. It's a cheap replacement, is in Singapore and it won't ship to the us. I don't know how to make it right. I have apologized. It just meant so much to her. I really hate myself right now. I know it's really sad. Luckily. Okay, people come through. This is again the beauty of Reddit and people start sharing links on ebay and they share a link for the snow globe bathtub with duck globe music and bubbles motion and it was nineteen oh. However it sold very quickly. So the top comment here's one for sale. Next comment down and one was sold today. Next comment. Someone is mean. Next I hope not. Maybe it was him. If not, I hope they bought it for him and we'll ship it to him. I want to trust that there are very special people in this world who would do that for him and his wife, Op responds. Update. It was me. Aw.

[Lauren]

Yay.

[Morgan]

So he got it.

[Lauren]

I have no business getting teary eyed over that.

[Morgan]

Opie does have an edit. Thanks everyone for your thoughtful posts and good ideas. One helpful redditor led me to a replacement product that is the same thing and I bought it off ebay. I also salvaged the parts like you guys said. And I'm going to have her dad 3D print a bathtub and put the intact duck into it. And then like you guys said, there is both. Thanks again. I'll update how she reacts.

[Lauren]

Nothing?

[Morgan]

Not yet. Oh. A lot of people were like, why is she making you feel so bad? It's an accident. Op's like, I feel that way. Like it has nothing to do with her. Like, let me be clear, right? We love each other fiercely. Like, I don't want to see her in any pain. Opie's like, I'm a little dramatic, I will admit. But no official update yet. But I already know, like, it's gonna be emotional, it's gonna be teary eyed and just feel so special. Like when someone surprises you with something that you've just been having your eye on or you mentioned one time when you feel so loved and seen like that nothing better.

[Lauren]

Like the horse painting that Justin got for you.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that's a great example. Yeah. Me, my mom and Justin were walking by this artist in Venice and he had this beautiful horse painting and he wouldn't talk to us. Like, he just like wouldn't really give us the time. But I loved it. And so Justin went back, bought it and then surprised me with it for my birthday. And we had only been dating for like a couple months.

[Lauren]

Yeah, it was pretty new.

[Morgan]

Like three months at that point. Yeah, it was good. He's such a cute, sweet. He literally brought us wine. Just a little cutie, but okay. Cheers.

[Lauren]

Cheers.

[Morgan]

We're off to Patreon, my friends. I will see you over there. And I'm not teasing you because this is a bonus. It could have just been a short episode. And I love you. That's why I did this. I. That's why I edited two episodes in one week for you guys. So. Okay.

[Lauren]

So don't be mad. So this is going to go. This next Patreon is gonna be accessible for everyone.

[Morgan]

No, but it will be on the lowest tier. Okay, lowest tier. It's $5. Come join us for one month and then cancel. You can get access to everything on that five dollar tier that's been posted in the entire time I've had Patreon in that tier for five bucks. So come for a month, binge it, cancel whatever you guys want to do. But the rest of this episode will be over there. Until next time, bye.

[Lauren]

See you guys over there.

[Morgan]

Hopefully.

[Lauren]

Spring just slid into your DMs. Grab that boho, look for that rooftop dinner, those sandals that can keep up with you, and hang some string lights to give your patio a glow up. Spring's calling.

[Morgan]

Ross.

[Lauren]

Work your magic

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