278: Hot Mess Express

Summary

Two Hot Takes: "Hot Mess Express" (Episode 278)

Release Date: July 16, 2026
Host: Morgan Absher
Co-hosts: Justin, Lauren

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Episode Overview

This week, Morgan and the crew board the "Hot Mess Express" for a wild ride through Reddit tales and listener write-ins. The theme is all about those “hot mess” moments—cringey, chaotic, and jaw-dropping stories that have everyone grimacing, laughing, or reflecting on “please don’t do that!” situations. From relationship insecurities and hot dog contests, to diary drama and shocking confessions, it's a full-on whirlwind of candid reactions, emotional advice, and signature Two Hot Takes banter.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

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1. Opening Choo Choo: Welcome to the Hot Mess Express! (01:27–05:24)

• The crew goofs around with train sound effects, establishing the light-hearted, chaotic vibe for the episode.
• Morgan recaps their recent trio trip to Cannes and Mallorca, sharing their own “hot mess” bonding story about accidentally booking a van instead of a boat (04:21).
• Quote (Morgan, 04:15): "Our bonding experience of thinking I was booking a boat and I accidentally booked a van has really just bonded us. Yeah. And that was a hot mess."

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2. “I’m Always Called the Lucky One” (06:03–21:30)

Story: A man (25M) feels hurt by constant comments about how "lucky" he is to date his "amazing" girlfriend (21F), wishing someone would acknowledge her luck too. It’s starting to impact his self-esteem.

• Discussion Highlights:
  • The panel debates whether these compliments are as flattering as people intend or whether they can create insecurity. Justin and Lauren point out the difference in how men and women receive compliments, and the sometimes gendered way validation is handed out (08:28, 14:27).
  • Quote (Morgan, 12:58): "If it's never 'you guys are a great couple' ... if it's always, 'you're so lucky,' like, I would just start to feel like am I chopped liver? I understand where he's coming from."
  • Morgan notes that men often receive fewer affirmations, which can amplify the sting of these comments (14:27–15:56).
  • They read OP’s update clarifying context and reaffirm that the main fix is communication—ask for validation, don’t bottle it up.
  • Advice Summed Up: It’s valid to want to feel appreciated. Talk to your partner. You can’t control others, but you can share your feelings and support each other.

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3. “Am I the Asshole for Winning the Hot Dog Eating Contest?” (25:04–39:01)

Story: At a food festival, a boyfriend (25M) accidentally dethrones his girlfriend’s dad (51M) in a hot dog eating contest, unintentionally causing family drama.

• Discussion Highlights:
  • The group agrees the dad’s feelings are overblown, and the real issue is misplaced masculinity and family tradition (27:54–29:59).
  • Quote (Lauren, 29:14): "How are you gonna know the subcontext of, 'dad wants to connect with Liam and this is the one way they do it'?"
  • They find humor in the “Doggler” t-shirt and the family’s intensity over the contest.
  • The update reveals the girlfriend exaggerated the dad’s hurt, and the argument was more of a red-herring during a bigger fight, confirming the original was a classic case of "hot mess."

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4. “My Wife Wants Me To Destroy My Ex’s Diaries” (41:14–51:31)

Story: After reading through his ex’s diaries (which they swapped after their breakup), a man’s wife asks him to throw them out, calling it disrespectful.

• Discussion Highlights:
  • The group is split at first, but ultimately agrees that keeping an ex’s private diaries—and reading them—is over the line.
  • Quote (Morgan, 44:56): "It's not his writing, it's this other person... It's very strange."
  • Morgan suggests swapping the diaries back, and wonders if the act of leaving them out was unconsciously provocative.
  • Reddit comments and the panel agree: this is a boundary issue, and the nostalgia excuse doesn’t hold water for someone else’s inner thoughts.
  • No update: OP deleted their account, leaving everyone to speculate on the fallout.

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5. “Partner Sad to Move Away from Parents After Baby” (54:08–60:49)

Story: OP is upset that her partner, finally moving in with her and their child, is sad about leaving his parents' home.

• Discussion Highlights:
  • The team validates that moving is a big step and “bittersweet” feelings are normal, but recognize why OP would feel unsupported if her partner seems only begrudgingly committed (55:50–57:49).
  • Quote (Morgan, 58:04): "It's again, a big change. And so I think OP used the word bittersweet. Her partner is using the word sad. I honestly feel like they're the same word."
  • Advice: Wait and see if this becomes a pattern or is just pre-moving jitters; communication is key.

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6. Plot Twist! "My Best Friend Confessed His Love During His Own Honeymoon" (61:00–86:41)

Story: After a lifetime of sibling-like friendship, OP (25F) is horrified when her newly-married (on honeymoon!) best friend Will confesses his secret love for her, saying he married his wife to provoke a reaction.

• Discussion Highlights:
  • Outrage and empathy abound as the group considers the family fallout and the emotional manipulation of Will’s new wife (Sarah).
  • Quote (Morgan, 67:36): "You're an asshole. You're not a good, nice person.”
  • Twist: In the update, it turns out SARAH sent the texts from Will’s phone out of jealousy, and Will had no idea (81:32–85:00). They both feel like siblings; the families unite to support OP; Will divorces Sarah after discovering her infidelity.
  • Quote (Update, Morgan, 81:51): "His phone went missing during their trip and he hadn’t cared because he was excited to be on his destination honeymoon ... I told him everything. He threw up in the koi pond."
  • Takeaway: Even the most “incestuous” family drama can be a hot mess out of nowhere—and sometimes the villain isn’t who you expect.

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7. “Fiancee Demands I Get Circumcised Before the Wedding” (90:02–105:21)

Story: OP’s fiancée insists he must get circumcised before their wedding, equating it to her own beauty regimen and calling him “uncivilized” if he refuses.

• Discussion Highlights:
  • The panel is disgusted by the body-shaming and coercive manipulation, comparing it to demanding plastic surgery.
  • Quote (Morgan, 95:07): "If the roles were reversed and your partner was saying you need to get labiaplasty ... That is so wrong."
  • Jokes fly about her threatening to drag him to a clinic. The group suspects her demands could stem from cheating or insecurity.
  • Update: After an explosive fight (and pressure from her parents to reconsider!), OP breaks off the engagement, finding validation in the comments and relief from ending a toxic relationship.

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8. Reflections & Uplifting Moments (106:00–end)

• Morgan highlights the “Love is Respect” healthy relationship quiz, sharing stories of listeners who used the show as a catalyst to leave bad relationships.
• Quote (Justin, 110:46): "It makes me feel so close to you guys and it makes. Feel real and it makes me so grateful."
• The hosts express gratitude for their community, reinforcing that everyone deserves love and respect—never emotional manipulation or body shaming.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Eat for effort." (Justin, 03:14) – Early banter on half-hearted participation.
• "You can't control other people... You just have to go inward and make sure our bond is strong." (Justin, 14:04)
• "If you have someone who's your life partner telling you constantly it's a defect... How long until it starts to be an insecurity for him?" (Justin, 97:05)
• "If they think you’re the problem and push you out—those are not people you want in your life. That would be nuts." (Justin, 64:42) – Regarding the best-friend-turned-honeymoon-confessor story.
• Episode-defining twist: The Sarah sabotage during Will’s honeymoon confession (Update, 81:51)—prompting group shock and laughter.
• Community Impact: Morgan and Justin both reflect on feedback from listeners who found the courage to leave bad relationships due to the show.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:27 – The Hot Mess Express Theme Start
• 06:03 – "You're So Lucky" Relationship Story
• 25:04 – Hot Dog Eating Contest Drama
• 41:14 – Ex’s Diaries Controversy
• 54:08 – Reluctant Move-in After Baby
• 61:00 – “Brother” Confession on Honeymoon & Shocking Update
• 90:02 – “Get Circumcised Or Else” Ultimatum
• 106:00 – Healthy Relationship Quiz & Community Stories

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Summary & Takeaways

Hot Mess Express delivers exactly what it promises: over-the-top drama, wild twists, and deeply human messiness. The Two Hot Takes crew keeps it real—with compassion, humor, and that signature candid judgment—reminding listeners to speak up about their needs, trust their instincts, and recognize emotional manipulation in all its forms. A powerful combo of laughs, real talk, and genuinely useful advice, this episode is essential for anyone grappling with relationship insecurities or those “can you believe this?” moments.

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For updates, community, and related resources, follow along at @TwoHotTakes, check the Patreon, or watch full episodes on YouTube.

Transcript

[Morgan]

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[Justin]

Do you guys plug Justin's music on here often? Why not?

[Morgan]

It just doesn't come up organically.

[Justin]

But you should. We got a talent. You got to bring it up. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Justin is very, very talented, and he's very humble. Doesn't talk about himself very much. He's working on a really amazing musical that's going to, you know, make its way into the world here very soon. So it is in the world, but in a big way. So he's very, very talented.

[Lauren]

Well, thank you.

[Morgan]

Very proud of you. Today's theme. Are you guys ready? Have you got your ticket?

[Lauren]

I might not survive it, but are

[Morgan]

you ready to come aboard? Choo choo chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga.

[Justin]

I don't have it in me for that. I'm not gonna. I love. I could. I could have waited for so much longer. I was hoping that you guys were gonna, like, try to make it a challenge.

[Morgan]

I was running out of bread.

[Lauren]

I was gonna pass out. I'm already, like, at 40% right now,

[Justin]

so it felt very culty. Like, I wish you guys could have seen it from my angle, the way you guys looked at the same time.

[Lauren]

Well, I felt judged. Chucky Doll or something, I felt judged. I felt made fun of. I felt like I was not cool because of the way you look to me.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So thanks.

[Morgan]

I feel like you.

[Justin]

That is so unfair for you to do that.

[Lauren]

Call us a cult for us. We can't give our side. We can't give our side.

[Morgan]

Your feelings are valid.

[Justin]

So I just feel like you shouldn't do this after the last time we did a Three of Us episode.

[Morgan]

I know. And I was like, people can't tell when we're kidding.

[Justin]

I know. And I was just trying to be playful and people were like, oh, my God, like, she's bullying Justin. And I'm like, no, you guys should hear him off camera. What he says to me.

[Morgan]

Okay, well, here's how you make up for it.

[Justin]

Okay. Okay.

[Morgan]

Give me your best train sound.

[Justin]

No, I don't. Choo choo today.

[Morgan]

Just your best choo choo.

[Lauren]

We each get a solo.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I did mine.

[Justin]

Choo choo.

[Morgan]

That was great.

[Justin]

Thank you.

[Morgan]

Good job.

[Justin]

I was purposely trying to make it like, teenage angsty.

[Morgan]

I appreciated it. I really value your participation and appreciate your effort, even if it was against your will. Somewhat.

[Justin]

Eat for effort.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I'm entertained for effort.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay, let's hear yours.

[Lauren]

I would go for like a all aboard.

[Justin]

Oh, wow. That brought me right back to Polar Express.

[Morgan]

It did give a little Tom Hanks energy.

[Lauren]

Did anyone have that wooden train whistle growing up? That's what I want right now.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

But I'm not going to try and make that sound.

[Justin]

Okay. Okay. Cuz I literally am obsessed with trains now because of how much I love the trains in France.

[Morgan]

I love a good train.

[Justin]

It was just so easy.

[Morgan]

I love good public transportation.

[Justin]

So affordable. And the train straight to Cannes took 30 minutes. And it was. I. I paid for like, the upgrade, which was like an extra $5. And it was like this really cozy cabin area. Like, it was you.

[Morgan]

Look, there's your chargers and everything.

[Justin]

Like, I got to like, sprawl out for five bucks.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Yeah, man.

[Justin]

I know.

[Morgan]

I wish I would have taken the train now. Yeah. I don't even think I said what the theme is, but all aboard. The Hot Mess Express. I forgot to.

[Justin]

Whoa.

[Morgan]

We are coming off some crazy energy. The three of us went to Cannes together and Mallorca and just had like an amazing tht trio trip and just like, really just had a good time. A little bit of work. Lot of bit of work and then some play at the end. Just like, relax, regroup. And I think our bonding experience of thinking I was booking a boat and I accidentally booked a van has really just bonded us. Yeah. And that was a hot mess. And today we're getting into a lot more of those stories of just people that you just hear and you're like, oh, my God, please don't do that. Or. And you can just. You grimace at them because

[Lauren]

bad.

[Justin]

Well, I'm excited.

[Morgan]

Okay, are we ready?

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Justin]

Buckled my seat belts. Oh, we're riding this train.

[Morgan]

Yeah, baby. Everyone's buckled in. Okay, without further ado, let's dive in.

[Justin]

Let's do it.

[Lauren]

Choo choo.

[Morgan]

Okay, y', all, this first one is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It's titled. Women always call me a lucky guy when they meet my girlfriend. And it's not feeling like a compliment anymore. Me, 25 male, and my girlfriend, 21 female, have been together for a few years. I want to start by saying that I love my girlfriend and I know that I bagged. She is smart, funny, charismatic, a great cook, fit, and happens to have a rather impressive behind. When we go out and meet women, or when she meets my friends or their girlfriends, I always hear, quote, you're so lucky, or quote, I hope you know how lucky you are. I understand that this is a compliment, and I reply by saying something along the lines of I know it or luckiest man in the world today. It happened three separate times in the same night. I don't know if I'm being extra insecure, but I just wish that some people would tell her that she is lucky. I also think that I'm an attractive and valuable person, but I'm always the lucky one. It's not feeling like a compliment anymore. I wish that she would tell them that she's also lucky to have me. I feel like I should communicate that to her, but I also don't want to make a big deal out of it. But it is starting to hurt my self esteem. Any advice or alternative perspective that I should be looking at this from?

[Justin]

I just so wanted to, like, give him shit, but, like, it's hurting his self esteem and that mean something. Like he should address it if he's having these feelings. He should talk about it and try to figure it out and solve it. But, like, I genuinely really wanted to give him.

[Lauren]

I mean, yeah, because, like, how far does it go? Does this bother you to the point where you'd consider leaving? I don't think so, no.

[Morgan]

But it still hurts.

[Lauren]

Like, no doubt.

[Morgan]

It would almost give me an insecurity. I'd be like, God, am I Like, am I really that something? Like, am I someone that people are kind of pitying me and I'm. It would almost give me a complex.

[Justin]

So, you know, it's hard for me because I think if it was like, roles reversed and, like, guys kept coming up to me saying that about, like, my partner. I would start to get annoyed, too. But, like, I feel like that's not as common. Whereas, like, girls, like, I've been around girls that do this. Like, I've probably done this before. Like, it's like. I feel like it's a sign of respect for the girl. You know, if a girl is there and saying, oh, you're so lucky. Your girl is amazing. It's kind of, like, showing, I'm not a threat. I'm here. I'm a cheerleader and a champion for this girl. Like, that's at least how I've taken it. But it's so funny, because I was. When I was in New York once, I was with some girls at a table, and this other girl came in with her boyfriend, asked if they could join us and, like, talk with us. And then all of the girls, all my friends were like, oh, my God, you were so lucky to be with her. She's so. She was literally a model. She was a model, and she was absolutely beautiful. And he was beautiful, too. And, like, something in her snapped, and she goes, I'm lucky to be with him, too. How dare you disrespect my man? Oh. And we were like. And the guy was like, oh. Like, kind of, like, embarrassed. Because I think. I think girl. I think she must, like, kind of have, like, moments where she snaps. And he was just like, I'm so sorry. But she was literally, like, waving her finger. And everyone's like, oh, no, no, no. We were just trying to give you a compliment. And she was like, okay, fine. But we were like, this is weird. Now can you leave? Why'd you sit down here? Bye. Go away.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So how do you feel? It's different. If it's not a girl saying it. If it's a guy to a guy, how do you feel that that would be different?

[Justin]

Are these all guys, or these were girls, right?

[Lauren]

We don't know. Do we know.

[Justin]

I thought. I thought he was.

[Morgan]

When we go out and meet women, or when she meets my friends or their girlfriends, I always hear you're so lucky, and I hope you know how lucky you are. No mention of who it's coming from, but.

[Justin]

So women and girlfriends.

[Morgan]

Yeah. It sounds like kind of everyone.

[Justin]

Oh, yeah.

[Lauren]

But it is a little different from a guy. It depends, though.

[Morgan]

Like, almost like boys.

[Lauren]

If it's, like, a guy you didn't know. Yeah, it's all in.

[Morgan]

If it's a guy you didn't know, it could also Feel weird, right? Dude?

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So lucky.

[Lauren]

It's all contextual. Like, what's the relationship? Who are they? How did they say it? There's so much meaning that's not in just the words themselves.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And how it's presented. Because if it were presented a certain way from people you didn't know, then it'd be like. Yeah. It would make you start to think.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

It could be a slap in the face.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Well, I mean, all I can think about is, you must have one hell of a partner.

[Justin]

Well, yeah.

[Lauren]

And so it's like, you're in a good position. I get how something could be annoying, but even if I started to feel that way, at some point, I would just be like, I'm gonna count my lucky stars. And this. I'm just gonna. I'm gonna go with it because clearly everyone around me is like, damn you. Yeah, have it made.

[Justin]

So that's the right way to go about. That's why I wanted to give this guy some crap. But, like, again, if it's messing with his, you know, then, like, his self esteem, then it's good that he's talking about it instead of just, like, brushing it off and pushing it down and then, like, popping off one day and it seems like it's out of nowhere. So, like, that's good. Think. Sometimes I, like, think about how, you know, how partners, like, they should be saying, like, you're the most beautiful woman in the world when they're dating you, and they should believe that and all that good stuff. I was thinking about how crazy it would be to be, like, dating Gigi Hadid or something and be like, no, but. No, but really, no, but, like, and everyone else agree. And it's like, if I, like, if I were to be dating someone, like.

[Morgan]

But someone does look at you on a. On a better level than Gigi Hadid. You just need to find that person that has those glasses on and sees you that way.

[Justin]

Yeah. I think that. I genuinely think that, like, every person that dates somebody should feel like they're the most beautiful person. Yeah. Yeah. And with. With that, I would just imagine, like, if I was dating someone who, like, I find, like, that I would expect that people are gonna be coming up to me and be like, oh, my God.

[Morgan]

I still though, like, no matter how much I loved my partner and how beautiful I thought they are, and, like, if it's never, like, you guys are a great couple. If it's never that, and it's always, you're so lucky. You're so lucky. I really hope you know how lucky you are. Like, I would just start to feel like my chopped liver. Like, I understand where he's coming from. However, I think talk to your partner about it, and, you know, maybe if she overhears it every now and again, she's like, I'm lucky, too.

[Justin]

I'm lucky, too.

[Morgan]

I think that's a great. We're a great partner. We're a great match. Because I think, like, it's also your person hyping you up and just feeling like your person has your back because you are together for seemingly good reasons, and you realize how lucky you are. You say it you. But it's nice to feel appreciated and loved and, you know, you have your tires pumped every once in a while.

[Justin]

I really think that that would just be the. Like, would solve it if, like, he. If he had his partner being like, I'm lucky, too. Because he even mentioned that. I really think it's a quick fix.

[Morgan]

It's. I think it's an easy fix because

[Justin]

you can't control other people. You can't control the public and, like, what they come up and say to you like that. So I think that really, like, you just have to go inward and be like, I just want to make sure that, you know, our bond is as strong as I think it is. And, like, I just wanted to talk to you about that and how it made me feel. And then, you know, hopefully, yeah, Girlfriend is like, oh, I got you, baby.

[Morgan]

Well, and I don't know if this is true. I'm literally speaking out of thin air right now. I have no idea about this, like, statistically or whatever, but I think from my perspective as a woman, like, growing up, you always want to be told, like, you look good. You look pretty. Like, I think that's how I grew up and wanting that validation externally. I don't know if guys are, like, used to getting complimented. Like, how often do guys get flowers? Not often. How often do guys get told, you look really good today. Great outfit. I like your style. Like, I think there's kind of a difference in traditional gender norms and how often we pump up guys. Yeah. And so, like, when Justin Compliment gets complimented on, like, a jacket he wears. We literally just talked about this the other day because I commented a lady at the superstore, and he's like, you're so good at complimenting people.

[Lauren]

Yeah, you're exceptionally good.

[Morgan]

And I'm just like, but it's so genuine. It's not fake. It's just organic. I saw her belt. I was like, damn, your belt is.

[Lauren]

How do you like make people's days?

[Morgan]

I just like, I just love complimenting people and I'm trying to love that better about it even like do it more because I think it a lot too and I don't say it.

[Justin]

Yeah, same.

[Morgan]

But he is like, I think about every single compliment I've ever gotten and he brought it up. He's like that guy that really liked my jacket at that bar in Hollywood. Like I remember every compliment. I'm like, I could never say that. And not to say I get complimented all the time, but like it's, it's so more normal for me.

[Justin]

It is in, in the girly girly

[Morgan]

world for us girly pops.

[Justin]

It is, it is much more normal. And that's exactly what I was saying that like, you know, we always are trying to do like role reversal for a lot of these things. But I do think that there's some things where it's like just a little bit hard because, because of the fact that like me, I am a girl who's like, like trying to hype up all of my girls and new girls that I meet and just like. And that doesn't happen. Like I watch any person I've ever dated, they don't do that with each other, you know, so it's like, it's just different. And so that's why I think that I was kind of, you know, at first annoyed because I'm just like if

[Morgan]

it's girls are lucky to have her.

[Justin]

Yeah, if it's girls all like hyping up like the girl and trying to be like, she's amazing.

[Morgan]

Especially in today to like have a group of friends. Friends and girls be girls. Girl. Yeah, that's also a newer thing. It's great. It feels good.

[Justin]

Yeah, it feels really good.

[Morgan]

Women supporting women. Like yes. So we do get an edit. Okay, so edit. Additional info We've been together for three years. We met when she was 18 and I was 21. It was a meet cute, not an app. If you want specifics. Our age gap is just over three years. So there is a period of time where it seems like our age gap is four years. Either way, I don't think our age is as relevant to the advice I'm asking. LOL. I have friends that are 28 who are married to 36 year olds. Me and my girlfriend both have had several long term relationships over a year prior to meeting. So I don't know why so many comments think that we're too young to last. We have similar relationship experience also. Damn y' all give me some time to respond. Second, I am a good looking guy. I may be modest and bashful, but I know that I'm a catch despite having my own insecurities. She hit on me when we met. I know that some commenters here are imagining a 2 with an 11, but that's not the case. We look good together.

[Justin]

Are people saying that? Because that's not what I was but dream that's funny.

[Morgan]

No context. People are asking what does she do and how does she present herself compared to me? Here's the context. My buddy needed some help working on his house, so me and another friend were helping him and planned on eating food cooked by my girlfriend and his later in the day. There are three guys including me and four girls including my girlfriend. The first comment came when we were eating and one of the girls said that she hopes I know how lucky I am in reference to my girlfriend's cooking because it's delicious. The second comment came when the boys were outside working and the girls were chilling by an inflatable pool and ogling over my girlfriend's butt. The third comment came after my girlfriend told one of the girls that she was studying a hard STEM field at university, saying how lucky I was that she was smart and has a big butt. This seemed like a you better wife her up moment. Lots of talk about her butt. Anyways, after reading some of your guys comments, I don't think it's the intention behind what people are saying, but how often happened this particular night mixed along with feeling more insecure that particular evening? I'm not as outgoing as she is when we go out, but I certainly wouldn't consider myself a stick in the mud.

[Justin]

Lol.

[Morgan]

I know how to have fun at my own pace.

[Justin]

This story makes me feel like you don't.

[Morgan]

Just kidding. No, I think he was just in his feels.

[Justin]

I know I'm just like a dick for no reason. Sorry.

[Morgan]

That's okay. We've been there.

[Lauren]

I mean but we've all done that where you take things too far in your own mind. Oh for sure, go down this rabbit hole. But yeah, and it shows how things that really not shouldn't, but things that wouldn't otherwise be an issue can become this huge problem. And then when it becomes this huge problem internally for you, you can bring it to someone else, tell them how you feel and they're like what do you even mean? Because they don't even understand how that could become a problem because you haven't. Maybe you waited too long to share those feelings or something. But I think it's not surprising when things that seem like to all of us, that should be a non issue have built up and turned into this big thing.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Snowballs rolled down the whole hill and become this giant boulder that, you know, it's not, it's, it's hard to explain, but it's like, it's not so surprising when it's like, oh, that became this issue.

[Morgan]

Well, and I think all of us out there, like, we all get in our heads about something that no one else would think twice about.

[Justin]

Definitely.

[Morgan]

And I think that's what it is. I think he was also trying to gauge, like, am I thinking too into this? He was also trying to be like, am I overreacting in a sense? Because there are comments here from OP that say our communication is great. I just didn't know whether this is something valid to bring up or not. But I don't see a downside to having it out in the open. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable in future interactions or make her feel as if she's obligated to interject whenever someone mentions how lucky I am.

[Justin]

Right.

[Morgan]

Another comment. She hypes me up plenty. Thankfully, it's the comments from others that are starting to make it seem like I'm the luckiest person in the world because why would someone like her be with me? You know, and it's basically what we talked about. But I think it did kind of snowball for him. And, you know, our worries, our insecurities can get the best of us. But I think this is a super easy fix. And I would just say, like, I love you. Like, gosh, those you're so lucky comments got to me. Or, you know, maybe he hears all these takes and he's like, not a big deal anymore.

[Justin]

Oh, well, I also have gotten hung up over and obsessed over, ruminated over much, much smaller things. So, so, like, I, I, I guess would shake me. Yeah.

[Morgan]

This would have me a little in my head.

[Justin]

And it's, and I think it's doing the right thing. You're going to Reddit first and asking about it and trying to get some advice rather than like blowing up on your partner and being like, you need to say nice things. And then like, then like he said, that would be awful if she then felt uncomfortable every time somebody said that

[Morgan]

when it feels forced.

[Justin]

Right.

[Morgan]

Because fake.

[Justin]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

It's like, no, I just want to feel loved too. Yeah.

[Justin]

No. So it's, it's the right routes I was. I was being a little too hard on him.

[Morgan]

That's okay. Top comment. It sounds like you want more validation from your partner. This is a very normal thing to ask for in a relationship, and I would try having a discussion about what you actually need from her as a supportive partner. There's nothing wrong with also wanting to feel beautiful and loved, but if you bottle it up forever and sit on resentment, it's not going to be good. Next comment down. I had to ask my wife to give me compliments. It wasn't that she didn't think highly of me, but rather that she was raised in a home in which she never received compliments or affirmations herself. So she didn't really know how to. Now she compliments me all the time, both privately and publicly.

[Lauren]

But here's the thing. I think between partners, I think it's important that you're always still fighting for each other in the sense that you're still not to win them over, because once you've married and all that, you're not winning them over. But I think it. That same essence. I think you should always be fighting to, for lack of a better term right now, win over your partner. You should always be trying that.

[Justin]

No, it's. There's an Uber driver that's like, basically saying what you're saying, but he. It was so funny. I think he was recently divorced at the time, and he was like, let me tell you something. When you get really comfortable in a relationship, he goes, don't walk around the house naked. Save it for those, like, special moments. And. And he goes, close the door. And you use in the bathroom, he's like, let the relationship still have that mystery, that, like, excitement, so that it doesn't tune it out and then make it, like, mundane.

[Lauren]

Yeah. How'd you get to that topic?

[Justin]

Isn't that what you were saying?

[Lauren]

No.

[Justin]

Oh, you know, I mean, no, I think it's Uber eyes. And we all.

[Morgan]

Yeah, no, I have had some really intense, deep conversations with Uber drivers. Like, we had one lady, and she was so sweet, and she was, like, literally driving to support her kids, who have all had kids. And, like, it was like, oh, yeah, she had such an intense story. And I had just gotten, like, a bunch of, like, makeup PR stuff, and I was like, let me go in the house and grab you some stuff. Gave her a whole bag of goodies, and she was like, dang. And we just, like, we bought it. We were buddies, so. Yeah, I get that.

[Justin]

No, I've had, especially in, like, my younger Years I've had like, I've been like, pull the car over, turn the Uber off, shut the computer off and come party with us tonight.

[Morgan]

Wait, no, we did that.

[Justin]

I know.

[Morgan]

We used to. Yeah, no, I was like, I was there.

[Justin]

That was a true story. I was there.

[Morgan]

We did take our Uber driver out.

[Justin]

He was fun, but yeah. No, so that's. That's nothing. The one I told you.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Okay, let's move along to this next story.

[Justin]

Let's do it.

[Morgan]

This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled am I the Asshole for beating my girlfriend's dad in a hot dog eating contest. I'm 25 male girlfriend, 24 female, girlfriend's dad, 51 male. Okay, so the hot dog eating contest happened like six months ago and I had no idea that I did anything wrong, but my girlfriend and I were arguing about something else and she brought up the contest and said I had acted childishly and I wanted to know if there was anything that I had to apologize for. So basically, six months ago, my girlfriend invited me to a food festival in her hometown. The day I arrived, I learned that there was a hot dog eating contest and the prize would be a hundred dollar gift card to a large tech retail store. Being a casual, competitive eater in college, I decided that it would be a fun idea to enter and I signed up on the website. When I told my girlfriend's family that I had entered the contest, my girlfriend's dad good naturedly clapped me on the back and said, let the best man win.

[Justin]

Oh, he did himself.

[Morgan]

Apparently, my girlfriend's dad had won the hot dog eating contest for the last four years and was somewhat expecting to win again. Wanting the gift card, I decided to give the contest my all. I ate a bunch of hot dogs. I wasn't even paying attention to what I was doing, but by the time I was done, I'd eaten 16 hot dogs in five minutes, beating my girlfriend's dad, who only ate 12 hot dogs. When I was done, my girlfriend's brother Liam, 14 male, and a bunch of his friends mobbed me, calling me, quote, the doggler, giving me high fives and clapping me on the back.

[Justin]

The dad is just stewing over there, watching that.

[Morgan]

They said that I had dethroned the doggler, pointing to my girlfriend's dad, and that I was the new doggler and that I was real Glizzied Rizzler or something like that, and that I was just shoving glizzy after Glizzy down my gullet. I don't know, you guys Boys are weird.

[Lauren]

It's worse than moist.

[Morgan]

They posed for pictures with me. It was weird, but kind of fun. Later, my girlfriend's dad came up to me, shook my hand and said that I was good competition. He went home to do something in his wood shop. So I hung out with my girlfriend, Liam and his friends, going around to various food stalls and games. When we all ate dinner that night, the hot dog contest didn't come up at all. Except for when Liam kept referring to me as the Dogler and saying that he wanted to make a special doggler shirt for me. We had a nice breakfast the next morning. No sign that anything was wrong today though. My girlfriend brought up in our argument that her dad was actually really wounded by losing the hot dog eating contest, but just didn't say anything to me. I said that if I wasn't supposed to enter the contest, then was it really a contest at all? And she said that it was less about the contest but about the special dogler shirt. Liam made his dad a doggler shirt for the years he won the contest, but I got the Doggler 2024 shirt. She said that her dad only wanted to win the contest to connect with Liam and if anything, I should be able to understand the masculine ego.

[Justin]

Shut up. This is so stupid.

[Morgan]

So Reddit. Am I the asshole?

[Lauren]

No, this is a personal problem.

[Justin]

This is really, really stupid.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Justin]

What?

[Lauren]

That's like, it's not like you're playing your. Your baby niece in a game of, I don't know, checkers or some shit where you, you let the kid win. Not all the time because they gotta learn the real world. But it's a competition. You show up, you do your best. That's what we've all learned to do. That's human nature.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

How are you gonna know the subcontext of, oh, dad wants to connect with Liam and this is the one way they do it. It's like this is your first ego. Yo, Dad's gotta work on relationship with Liam if the only way they can connect is winning this hot dog eating contest.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Thank you. Very true.

[Lauren]

There's other things. And now we're grasping at things to say to try and make me feel bad for winning, yet it's just like, no, I would show up and want to dominate everyone. It's like I went and played the softball league with your dad. I know you did with Jerry. And it's not like I'm going to go easy. I played. Everyone was expecting, oh, we got this young guy here, he's going to Come in and help us win. It's like, yeah, that's what you do.

[Morgan]

Yeah. I mean, he's clearly good. He. What did he say? He was an amateur.

[Lauren]

He just, like, did it in his free time.

[Morgan]

He was a casual competitive eater in college. This op.

[Justin]

So it's like he's.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Justin]

And good.

[Morgan]

Sixteen hot dogs in five minutes is crazy.

[Justin]

And when you, like, are abusing yourself, I mean, I feel like that feels like abusing yourself, because I feel like that would be painful, personally. Maybe it's not.

[Morgan]

They train for it. Have you ever watched the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Competition?

[Justin]

Yeah, I tried to actually get Joey.

[Lauren]

We watched it with her.

[Morgan]

We were on there 4th of July 1 year.

[Justin]

Okay. Do you. What's Joey's last name again? He's like, the most famous hot dog eater.

[Morgan]

Oh, I tried to get Joey Chestnut.

[Justin]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Justin]

And I tried to. I got him for, like, a birthday thing.

[Morgan]

A cameo.

[Justin]

Yeah, cameo. And then he canceled it, and he's no longer doing cameos. And I was, like, very upset about it.

[Morgan]

Joey Chestnut, if you're out there, help a girl out. You've got a big fan. You got a big fan out there.

[Justin]

Well, somebody. Somebody is a big fan. And so I was trying to do that as a gift for someone, but whatever.

[Morgan]

Yeah, but I think they do prep before the competition, so they do, you

[Lauren]

know, they doing a marathon without training.

[Morgan]

Exactly.

[Justin]

But my point is, is, like, why would this op be like, let me join this contest to eat 11 hot dogs really fast, but stop right there so that I can let this guy win. I feel like if you're going to do a competition and let someone else win, I feel like a hot dog eating contest is not the one, you know, like, yeah, go big or go home. Try to win it. Or don't play that game, because that doesn't sound fun.

[Morgan]

No. And I do understand where the dad's coming from. Right. Like, it's probably amazing to be a hero in your kid's eyes, then do better, parent.

[Justin]

Then do better.

[Morgan]

But, hey, maybe you ask him for some advice and say, next year, let's train a little bit. We do get a picture of the shirt.

[Justin]

Okay.

[Morgan]

We do get a picture of the doggler.

[Justin]

Adorable. Pretty good, actually.

[Lauren]

We could also improve the shirt a little.

[Justin]

You know, I like it, actually, more than I would have thought.

[Lauren]

Look at the year. The year is.

[Justin]

The year could be better. Yeah, that's true.

[Lauren]

I want to see the year written on the bun of the hot dog. 2024.

[Morgan]

Visually, that would look better.

[Justin]

That's true. But I like the hot dog, though. I don't know if I want it to be touched.

[Lauren]

The hot dog's an interesting color.

[Morgan]

I mean, it looks like it's handmade with pens, so I'm sure, you know, that's the only.

[Justin]

We should hire him for our next merch release. Really?

[Lauren]

Sure.

[Morgan]

Liam, hey.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Looking for some new merch, buddy? Liam, man, the hotties.

[Lauren]

It would sell. That would. They would just be sold out instantly.

[Morgan]

Honestly, I think Liam might be better than what I could do, so.

[Justin]

Yeah, I know it's good.

[Lauren]

The Grudge wrote it. It's like horror film writing. Look at that. That's like when you walk into the mirror and they go, you're gonna die. And it's written in blood. That's the font. Mm.

[Justin]

Maybe the doggler's still pretty safe. Maybe it's because it says doggler. It's never would be a scary thing.

[Lauren]

Those G's would fuck you up. They look like nail scratch.

[Morgan]

How did we get here?

[Justin]

How did we.

[Lauren]

There's not much else to go on on this story.

[Morgan]

Well, let's get into some comments then. Top comment, not the asshole. You didn't really have any idea this was an important family tradition and moment until after you signed up. And who has control of the actions of a crowd of 14 year olds anyways? That said, all this tension for a gift card is kind of intense. I hope you got something good with the prize money. Op responds, well, she did tell me that it was a tradition, but I didn't think it was as big of a deal as apparently it is. I got a couple of video games I had been eyeing. Finances have been kind of tight recently, so it was nice someone responds to that. I mean, if it is a tradition, dad, if anything, should be proud that if he was going to lose, it was to you, his progeny's significant other.

[Lauren]

Yeah, and he can train for next year. Like, let's build up the competition for a big 2025.

[Morgan]

Yeah, someone responds to that. Exactly. Who else does he trust more with his daughter than the doggler?

[Justin]

True, true.

[Morgan]

You know, it's passing the reins, especially wearing the shirt. Passing the reins.

[Lauren]

You think he wears the shirt now when they do it?

[Justin]

It really bothers me that the girlfriend was like, oh, you know, male egos. Like, it's her dad.

[Morgan]

You know, she's trying to. I think it's ridiculous.

[Justin]

Point blank, I think male egos are annoying. So I'm annoyed that she said it. Like it's a reason to excuse It.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah. No, it's silly. I think I'd be like, dad, grow up. Come on, dad. I'd be more so like talking to my dad if he was seriously upset.

[Lauren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Morgan]

Someone goes, not the asshole. When we all ate dinner that night. So you had dinner after eating 16 hot dogs?

[Justin]

Jesus Christ.

[Morgan]

OP responds, I ate some green beans, I think, but man, the toilet was full. Destroyed, Double flush, maybe triple.

[Justin]

I don't like that. That gave me a visual.

[Lauren]

I wanted a. I wanted a full poop episode.

[Morgan]

Oh, Justin.

[Lauren]

Call it Justin's poop episode.

[Morgan]

You can put that on your own channel.

[Lauren]

My first video.

[Morgan]

Yeah, someone responds to that. Well, I'm certainly glad you added that detailed dogler.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Justin]

Oh my God. Oh my God.

[Morgan]

Okay, guys, we do get an update.

[Justin]

Oh, let's hear it. I can't wait.

[Lauren]

20, 25.

[Morgan]

Okay, as a little update, my girlfriend found this post. She was a little mad at first.

[Justin]

Yeah, you put the doggler shirt on there. Dead giveaway.

[Morgan]

But overall, our original argument kind of went away because I put all of my clothes in the dryer and luckily I booked two consultation appointments, so that part of the argument went away as well.

[Lauren]

Say what?

[Justin]

They missed something.

[Morgan]

Maybe because the job, like finances were kind of hard, like John about it. So that part of the argument went away as well. The hot dog thing was kind of just a bonus jab she threw in my face when she found the doggler shirt in the washer. She doesn't really care about it now. She agreed to stop bringing stuff up from a long time ago and said she accidentally over exaggerated how sad her dad was about the contest.

[Justin]

I had a feeling. I had a feeling.

[Morgan]

So overall, things are nice. She's a little surprised and upset at the amount of posters that suggested we break up. Also, I was a little surprised by all the people who called me the asshole just for entering the contest. Also, after a lot of asking, I've decided to post the shirt. I smoked a little too much before I fell asleep and I forgot to take the shirt out of the dryer before I spent all day running my business. But I remembered now. I posted the shirt and had to make an account on Imgur just for this. So I hope you're happy.

[Justin]

Okay.

[Morgan]

I am.

[Justin]

So he didn't. I was posted originally.

[Morgan]

No.

[Lauren]

So they're probably not. He's probably not wearing the shirt when they do it. No, it's a sore topic now.

[Morgan]

It's just they're having sex. He's Winnie the Pooing with just the doggler. On.

[Justin]

Oh, my God. Winnie the Pooing.

[Morgan]

No, thanks.

[Lauren]

Winnie the Pooh.

[Justin]

That's a good one. Oh, my God. Wait, why is that, like, that image is just so. I hate it, but I love it.

[Morgan]

It's immediately. Yeah, you get it.

[Lauren]

Not really a comfy get up. You know, just wearing a T shirt around. It's not really.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah. I also don't like how now that I look back at the original post, my girlfriend and I were arguing about something else and she brought up the contest and said I'd acted childishly. Like we're gonna be in a. In a fight about finances and like, I don't know, paying our bills and. And then it's thrown in your face like. Yeah. And six months ago, you beat my dad in that hot dog contest and he was sad.

[Justin]

Yeah. No, and she's trying to accuse him of being childish, and then she throws that in there.

[Morgan]

Ma', am, the minute you bring up the doggler, you're done.

[Justin]

Yeah. Yeah. You're credibility lost.

[Lauren]

Yeah. All the time.

[Justin]

It's. It's in the toilet.

[Lauren]

People are pulling up.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

All the time.

[Morgan]

You know, I've been there. It does feel nice to sling a little mud when you're feeling fiery and hurt and whatever. But you're slinging the dogler as you. I know.

[Justin]

I was gonna say, I was like, it's actually. Maybe it's even a nicer thing than what I like I would have done because I feel like if I were to be mad bringing something up, it would be something that, like, actually was, like, really hurtful for you to hold a candle, too. Yeah, yeah, it's right. More valid. So it's. It's almost like. It seems actually kind of innocent in hindsight that it was like. Yeah, well.

[Morgan]

Well, you eat a lot of hot dogs. That is true. That is very true. Well, I like the doggler.

[Justin]

Me too. Our guy that needs to be on a merch at some point.

[Morgan]

Hot dog. Yeah, right next to the coconut. Just kidding. Too soon.

[Justin]

The dog lay.

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Skims. I don't know about you guys, but I love the feel of cotton undergarments. They're lightweight, breathable, leave you continuously feeling fresh throughout the day. And my skims cotton undergarments have been my new staple. I love the lightweight cotton thongs and my cotton rib boxers. The cotton jersey T shirt has been amazing whether I'm wearing it with an athletic skirt to run errands or jeans for a date night. This T shirt is stretchy and it really just enhances everything with this body hugging fit. It really takes comfort to the next level. It is a T shirt that I could literally wear anywhere and with anything. So if you're ready to find some of your new favorite cotton pieces, some new staples for your wardrobe, try skims. They've got all your simple basics that are going to end up becoming a part of your daily routine. Shop skims, cotton and all of my favorite [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select my show on the dropdown menu that follows. Thank you. Okay, number three. Right here, right now.

[Justin]

Right here, right now, right here. Yeah.

[Morgan]

No, same. God we're so now she wants to

[Lauren]

do the chance but she didn't at the start.

[Justin]

That's a good one.

[Morgan]

A train is a little intimidating. Okay.

[Justin]

Especially you guys. Should have seen you. I need to take a video. Wait, can you put it on the Instagram and I'll take a video and you can include it because I know

[Morgan]

it is just like that.

[Justin]

Like too this it was the way that. Am I taking a video right now?

[Morgan]

No, no, no. We've been rolled the tapes.

[Justin]

But no. You don't see it from my angle though.

[Morgan]

I get. I get why you were scared.

[Lauren]

Don't need to. It's better from our angle.

[Morgan]

True. I feel like I have the best angle.

[Justin]

I don't understand though.

[Morgan]

This one is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It's titled I told my wife she's extremely insecure and that I'm not going to throw away my childhood diaries just because they involve my ex. Am I wrong?

[Justin]

No.

[Morgan]

I've been married to my wife for eight years and we have two kids together. Before I met my wife, I was with my ex for 14 years. We started dating in middle school and were together for pretty much my entire teenage years and most of my 20s. We eventually broke up because we wanted to prioritize our careers and it would have meant spending years in a long distance relationship. It was sad, but mutual. During our relationship, we both kept diaries. They weren't shared journals. We each had our own personal diaries where we wrote about our lives, our relationship, our hopes, fears, and pretty much everything else. We also kept photos, ticket stubs, letters and other little mementos. When we broke up, she asked if we could swap them. She wanted my diaries so she could remember that chapter of her life. And she gave me all of hers for the same reason. A couple of Months after the breakup, I met my now wife. Since then, I honestly haven't paid much attention to those diaries. They were shoved in a bag somewhere and basically forgotten about. Last week, my wife was away on a business trip and I was sort of bored. I wanted to finally read those diaries. And I spent an evening reading through the diaries and looking at the old photos. It was really nostalgic reading about what life was like back then and seeing everything that we had saved brought back a lot of memories. Her diary entries were full of how much she loved me and how she thought we would spend our lives together. When my wife got home and saw the diaries on the table and asked what they were, I told her the truth and even let her look through them. She got really upset. She told me I should throw everything away because it's disrespectful to our marriage. She also told me that I should stop having any contact with my ex. For context, my ex moved to another country years ago. We sometimes exchange a text maybe a few times a year. Usually something like happy birthday or hope you're doing well. She's usually the one who texts me first, and I usually respond in one or two lines. I told my wife that I wasn't throwing the diaries away. To me, they're not just about my ex. They're a huge part of my childhood and the 14 years of my life. They're memories of who I was, not something I'm keeping because I want my ex back. I told my wife that she should stop being so insecure. Am I wrong?

[Justin]

Well, okay. Because I, you know, the title kind of made me feel like it was his diaries.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Justin]

And a little more like, more innocent being just like, oh, I have a crush on Susie in my class. But like, this is like.

[Morgan]

It doesn't feel great.

[Justin]

It feels like a romance movie. And it doesn't feel like you really shut the door. I'm not. I'm not sure.

[Lauren]

I'm not sure. You're done. Sure.

[Justin]

I don't know.

[Lauren]

Dead on romance movie is the perfect way to put it.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Where they. He finally opens these diaries and she

[Lauren]

opens hers, and it just happens to be at the same time they text each other.

[Morgan]

If it was truly his diaries, I have no problem.

[Justin]

Right.

[Morgan]

That's amazing. To relive your life or. I know, like, some people's kids want to read their diaries. Like, I have friends that read their parents diaries. My grandma and my mom have read my great grandma's diaries. That's really cool. But it's not his Writing it's this other person who he's not married to and has kids with. It is, to me, very strange.

[Lauren]

The swap originally is kind of strange.

[Justin]

Here's the thing. I'm so nostalgic and like, I like to keep all of the. Those type of things. I was just talking about how I have my homecoming dress from sophomore year. It's like, so random. It's not even senior year. Like, why. I don't. Anyway, so I would have a hard time throwing it away too. So it's like a paradox. I'm like, I don't even know which one. Wait, that's not the right way to use paradox.

[Lauren]

Anyway, I'm the exact same way. Yeah, I can't get rid of stuff either. My mom's going through her house right now pulling out all this old stuff, and we're to the point where it's like, take a picture of it and then get rid of it. Because you just want. A lot of the stuff is tied to memories and being nostalgic. It's not actually physically having it. It's.

[Morgan]

Well, maybe, yeah. No, it depends on what it is.

[Lauren]

In going through all that stuff, I found a big box that was from when me and my ex were together.

[Morgan]

It was his love box.

[Lauren]

And it was all the same stuff. It was all the notes from in high school. It was all the movie tickets. Everything you can think of, right? All little things that mean things, but they don't anymore, and it's not. I wasn't even interested in opening up the letters and seeing. I mean, there were.

[Morgan]

I think you just tossed it.

[Lauren]

I was literally sitting there. We were all watching like Timberwolves game or something. And I had a recycling bag and a garbage bag in front of me. And I was just like, oh, look at that. I was just like, but I'm exactly the same with the nostalgic thing. But when it came to items that are the similar to these diaries, I don't even. I'm not even curious to read through them. Those aren't the memories I'm, like, nostalgic about.

[Morgan]

That's what I wanted to bring up. Because he's like, I want the memories and blah, blah, blah. They're not your memories, though. They're not your words. They're someone else's most inner thoughts. Did you read these diaries before when you broke up? Or are you literally just reading them now, 14 years later and when your wife's out of town? It's just like, if this were me and you, I don't know. If it would really bother me, but, like, maybe it would. Like these inner thoughts. And then I read them, and it's like, this is the love of my life, Justin. We're gonna get married. And I'm just like, exactly like, ew. Yeah, maybe it would bother me, but I think it's fair to be like, hey, do you think you could reach out to her and maybe switch back if you want to keep these diaries? I. I understand, but they're also not yours. Why can't we make a little switcheroo?

[Justin]

Romance movie continues. There's that risk setting them up, but

[Lauren]

the whole tone of the story, from the way it was written, from the beginning, does feel exactly like how you pinned it. It feels like the door is open because it feels like he's reading these letters, being like, oh, that's so nice. That was such a nice thing to say. Oh, we had such a great love for one another. That's the issue, right? The issue is not that they exist. The issue is that the way he's going about all of this, leaving them out and just being purposefully. I think leaving them out and then being so proud to say, oh, these are diaries from when I was with blah, blah, blah. You can read all of them. Read through them. Please read through them. It's like he wants, like, leaving them

[Morgan]

out on the table. People in the comments do ask about that. Like, why would you leave them out if you knew your wife was insecure? Like, why would you kind of set that up?

[Lauren]

Because I'm not hiding anything.

[Morgan]

That's fine. But again, like, what. Were you really that bored with me out of town that you had to bring up these diaries?

[Justin]

That's the thing. I would do that. Like, one time, I remember I was, like, looking on social media, and I, like, pulled up somebody's name that I had messages with and, like, scrolled through our conversation. I. It, like, I accidentally got there, but then I got interested.

[Lauren]

That's less weird.

[Justin]

And I'm, like, reading all, like, these messages, and I was, like, starting to feel, like, those feelings that I felt so long ago that I've forgotten about, and it was like, whoa. Yeah.

[Morgan]

Brings you back.

[Justin]

Yeah, it brings you back for a second. It kind of feels. It kind of feels cool, like, to.

[Lauren]

It does time travel a little bit,

[Morgan]

but were those your writings, your memories?

[Justin]

Right.

[Morgan]

Again, everyone is on board. Yeah, until we swap the journals. And that's the top comment. I was with you until you swapped journals. That is weird to me. If I was your wife, I'd be okay. With you revisiting your old journals, but keeping and reading the exes. Oof. Next comment. The worst part is he left them out on the table for his wife to find when she got back from her trip. Same ask the ex if she wants them back. If not, toss them. Next comment. This is absolutely the way to go. Maybe he can see if he can get his back. Definitely weird to keep and reminisce over his ex's diaries. Someone goes, I bet she threw his away a long time ago.

[Lauren]

Be curious. I'd be curious.

[Morgan]

Someone goes, so you left them out on purpose to trigger your wife and now you can blame her for being upset. Sounds like you are not overly satisfied with how your life is now. So strange.

[Justin]

I want to know what Opie says.

[Morgan]

Well, upon refresh, when I had the tab and I could see how old it was, it was 27 minutes old. Upon refresh, it is 3 hours old. OP has deleted their account and removed the post.

[Justin]

Damn it, Morgan.

[Morgan]

Don't do that to me. We can't have an update every time.

[Justin]

I want one. Duh. I really want one on this one because I really wanted to hear like, if he's like confessed that he does have feelings or if that he's like, whoa, what are you guys talking about? It's not that deep. I just, I wanted to hear from Opie.

[Morgan]

Hey, I mean, Posted on the 2 Hot Takes Reddit, I looked at the account before deleted. Didn't seem like a fake account. Maybe they'll be back. Okay, so nowhere to find us.

[Justin]

Someone DM me a fake ending to this so I can have some closure.

[Morgan]

See, here's the thing. Not getting an update does not bother me. I just envision something in my head. Typically the worst case scenario. But no, I fill in the blanks and then if I get an update, hey, Christmas morning. But I will say we are working on an update episode. I have a new producer. She's amazing. You'll meet her soon. Maybe familiar face for some of you. But we are going to be working on an update episode. And like, going back and going through our thousands and thousands of stories that we've read and seeing which ones have

[Lauren]

had updates and we'll finally find out what was in the box.

[Justin]

Oh my God. I just like, I think it's so funny that you had a love box.

[Morgan]

Didn't you have that?

[Justin]

No.

[Morgan]

Oh, I had that for my high school boyfriends.

[Justin]

I wish I had one.

[Lauren]

Like, that's like Morgan's got a stack of them.

[Justin]

That's love boxes.

[Morgan]

No, I didn't.

[Justin]

Yeah. I didn't keep stuff like that.

[Morgan]

I think there is, like, my prom picture, though. That's like, up on my dresser in Minnesota still.

[Lauren]

I have our first movie tickets.

[Morgan]

You do?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

That's adorable.

[Lauren]

The nun, of course.

[Morgan]

It had to be that.

[Justin]

Oh, God. Brutal.

[Lauren]

But part of our story, Lauren.

[Justin]

I know. I just.

[Morgan]

It's true.

[Justin]

It just sounds. How. What is that? How scary is that movie?

[Lauren]

Not bad. You should watch it tonight. It's a good one to watch by yourself.

[Morgan]

Six and a half.

[Lauren]

Oh, yeah, Nothing.

[Morgan]

You should put it on seven.

[Justin]

Is it kind of like a jump

[Morgan]

scary, creepy looking nun? It's not great.

[Justin]

It's good, though. It was a good move because then you get Morgan to cuddle with you, so I did.

[Lauren]

That's the point.

[Justin]

It is. It's always.

[Morgan]

That's how I knew he wasn't friend zoned. Because we're sitting there in this movie and we went to the theater that had, like, the recliners and there's no. No separation in the middle. You could put the armrest up. So it's like a chase for the two of you. And we're sitting there and it's getting scary and I'm, like, covering my eyes and all of a sudden he puts his hand on my leg and I'm like, oh, he doesn't want to just be friends.

[Lauren]

Lauren already knew that, though.

[Morgan]

Not by that point. She hadn't met you yet.

[Justin]

Yeah, I don't know. What?

[Lauren]

No, she knew from you texting.

[Morgan]

That was down the road.

[Lauren]

Oh, timeline.

[Morgan]

I didn't know that was the first time I knew you.

[Justin]

I was like. I don't know the timeline of, like, how long you were seeing him before I had.

[Lauren]

We all went to yard house. It's the first time we all.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Justin]

You drove.

[Morgan]

It was not. You weren't a good driver.

[Justin]

Well, you feel that way about everyone, so.

[Lauren]

Yeah, it's true. Thank you, Lauren.

[Morgan]

I'm. I'm just a very good driver.

[Justin]

She asked me if I wanted to drive today, and I was like, no, I don't like driving.

[Lauren]

I don't want to be judged.

[Morgan]

No. You're so funny. I was like, one day we were going somewhere, I was like, do you want to drive? And you're like, anyone but you. I'm like, I just have really bad car anxiety, so I just like. I'm anxious.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Justin]

And I already, like, get paranoid that people are judging my driving if. When they're in my seat, so.

[Morgan]

You did really good that day, though. You did end up driving me. Oh, and you did great.

[Justin]

Thank you.

[Morgan]

Okay, moving along. We are still choo choo chugging along, but this next story is brought to you by State Farm. Sometimes it feels like life just changes overnight. One day you're splitting rent with roommates, the next you're signing papers for your first house and having support from someone who understands that, like a State Farm agent, can help you feel ready for whatever's ahead. So this is coming from R. Am I overreacting? It's titled Am I overreacting for being upset that my partner is sad to move out of their parents home to move in with me and our child. Hi. Me and my partner have been doing long distance relationship for almost three years now and we have a baby. Finally we are moving in together in a flat around 10 minutes drive away from his family. I'm moving across the city away from my parents for us to live together and finally have a fresh start, just the three of us. I'm excited but also feeling worried for my parents as I take on a lot of household chores for them and look after our pets. So it's bittersweet I suppose. Nonetheless, I'm really happy for us to be under the same roof. And I've expressed this. My partner said they feel sad to move out from their parents home and said quote deep inside I don't want to move out but on the other hand I have to and I'm going to. I feel offended by this. I get moving out is a big step but I'm making the bigger sacrifice as my family will be further away. This comment made me feel like me and our baby are a burden and living with us is merely a duty or an obligation rather than something they desire. Please tell me if I'm overreacting. Appreciate all and any advice.

[Lauren]

I feel that it's not, it's not not normal to be sad that you're moving out of anywhere.

[Morgan]

Completely true.

[Lauren]

You're in a really bad situation. Any place I've ever moved from, even a rental place, I cry. I'm kind of like goodbye room, goodbye living room, goodbye kitchen. You know you have this moment especially with your childhood home.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So it's sad regardless. But. And that's not where the problem was. The problem is, but I don't want to. I mean actions speak louder than words. So the fact that they are committed to doing so is a big thing regardless. And I would see if this keeps coming up as in you move, there's more commons prior to moving or you move in and it's still like, I miss living over there. I miss living at home. I miss this. That's when it becomes more of a problem to me. But the emotions of moving, especially if it's a childhood home, I don't think we have that context are. They're strong. And so I could see how it might lead to someone saying something like that in the moments, like, but I don't want to. But we all know the right answer is we should be living together with our child. Right. I mean, that's obvious.

[Morgan]

No, They've gone through so many big, big life changes. This is like such a big life step. And to feel so unsupported and just like someone feels meh about moving in with you and your child. And I completely agree. So sad. Moving out of your home, moving away from your parents. I moved out of my dad's house when I was, like, basically turning 30. I think I was, like, just about to turn 30.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Remember how excited we were? Like, we were.

[Morgan]

We were ready.

[Lauren]

We were. I know we were ready.

[Morgan]

I know that.

[Lauren]

But.

[Morgan]

But it was still sad.

[Lauren]

Yes, exactly. So I would see how it evolves.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

It's gotta be a pattern. Otherwise, if the. And if this is a one off, then, yeah, it's not great. But then it was a one off.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

If there's further comments or further references or things, then it starts to become a bigger problem where you start to consider, is this right fit. But you have a child together, so you might as well see if this was just kind of a fluke. I don't know.

[Morgan]

Well, and I was gonna say too, when I got into grad school, I was super excited when I immediately found out. But then from the time I immediately found out until my first day, I cried basically every day. I was like, I don't want to move. I don't want to go to grad school. I was just, like, so scared. And it's again, a big change. And so I think OP used the word bittersweet. Her partner is using the word sad. I honestly feel like they're the same word. Like, it is kind of bittersweet. It's a big change. And like, leaving your family and moving out of your home is. It's hard.

[Lauren]

Right. Well, and the reality is you can always go and support your parents when they need it. You need to be where you need to be.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And if you're that dissatisfied with where you live, then it becomes a relationship problem, like we've said. But the reality is, like, yes, you shift over Here. But that doesn't mean you don't still support your family and you don't go spend time with them or especially support them when in need. You still have that ability, but we have priorities.

[Morgan]

And by the sounds of it, they're still gonna be very close to his.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Morgan]

So the comments on this one. Top comment. You already have a baby, and he's dragging his feet moving in with you, girl. What? All caps. Next comment. He's having separation anxiety. He might have some issues around his parents that are not understood here. Yeah, it's rude, and you should wait for it. Talk to him about it. Let him know how that made you feel. Ask him what he's feeling and let him know that you're excited to be a family. And it's hurtful that he doesn't seem to be. You deserve someone who. Who wants to be a family with you. Find out now if this guy is that guy. You don't want to be living forever with someone who doesn't want to be there. Someone goes, not overreacting. That's a stupidly insensitive thing to say about moving in with your partner. And they like, paraphrase. I don't want to leave my parents.

[Justin]

Ugh.

[Morgan]

Again, like, someone finally kind of responds to that and goes, it's a normal feeling. They're definitely overreacting. You're a little.

[Justin]

Ugh.

[Morgan]

Comments. Sucks.

[Lauren]

I. Yes. I can see things on both sides. Again, we need the context of the whole relationship, because I always go into these things when they don't mention a bunch of relationship issues. Yeah, I assume, oh, relationship's strong and it's good. But there's this thing.

[Morgan]

Well, and it sounds like they're both coming from living with their parents, so maybe, you know, finances. That is what they were able to do, right? Yeah. It's like, it is such a big step forward for their relationship, their lives, their baby. So they really just need to get on the same page and communicate and work this out and start supporting each other maybe a little more and better.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Clearly, things change, and when they do, you can trust State Farm to help you protect the people, places, and plans that matter most. Who doesn't love a little support?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. This is coming from R Relationships. It is titled, My longtime best friend keeps messaging me from his honeymoon. I don't know how to end the friendship.

[Lauren]

Damn.

[Morgan]

I'm 25 female. Longtime best friend, 25 male. Will and I have been friends since pretty much forever. We literally grew up together. Our Mothers are best friends and we were raised by each other's families in this sort of semi commune type situation. His mom is like a second mom to me and mine is the same to him. We've both always said that we lucked out to have two sets of parents and this huge extended family because of it. I see him as a brother. Exactly as a brother. I feel the same way about him as I do my bio brothers. I've never had any romantic feelings for him and. And it's honestly disgusting when people make jokes about that to me. I always thought it was the same for him because that's what he told me several times over the years. We all went to the same local university and lived at home. And by all, I mean me, my siblings, Will and his siblings to save some money and because honestly, it's a great school. So because we stayed so close, we all met everyone's significant others and really got to know them. I clicked with Will's college girlfriend, Sarah, who he proposed to last year and married last week. I couldn't be happier for them and to have Sarah as a sister in our weird little family. Which is what makes the next part even worse, because I'm not sure how to handle this. Will messaged me on their wedding night and told me that he had always loved me and had hoped that. That I'd feel the same way too. And that he only got married to Sarah as a way to make me realize my feelings for him and fight for him.

[Justin]

Oh, my God.

[Morgan]

He had tried to provoke a reaction and he didn't love her. He didn't want to be with her. And now he just wanted to tell me because he would leave her for me if I wanted. I didn't know what to say, so I just signed out of everything for the night and cried because everything about that just made me feel sick. And it was too much, just too much to process. It was like my brother was admitting incestuous feelings for me. He messaged me throughout his honeymoon, almost all of them begging me to run away with him. And a few of them were blaming me for leading him on.

[Justin]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

Which still makes zero sense to me. I've never flirted with him. I act the same way around him as I do any of my siblings. Literally nothing is different. He said that he'd always see me in his head as the other woman. And because of me, he had never fully been able to love Sarah, who he admits on paper is his ideal spouse.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Justin]

Such an asshole.

[Morgan]

I don't know what to do, because both of us stand to lose a lot no matter how all of this goes down. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose my family because of this. And not just his side. Everyone is close and if I'm identified as the problem, I'm afraid that I'm going to be pushed out. But maybe that's what needs to happen. I really don't know, Reddit. How the fuck do I deal with this hugely fucked up situation? I need some outside advice. And I don't have anyone in my life who doesn't know any of the people involved in this.

[Justin]

If they think that you're the problem and if they push you out, oh my God, those are not people that you want in your life. That would be nuts.

[Morgan]

I would genuinely be like, am I in a dream? Did everyone lose their mind?

[Justin]

Literally?

[Morgan]

Is this the quiet place and some like, alien invaded? Like, what's going on?

[Jenna]

Right.

[Morgan]

That would be insane. You're not the problem.

[Justin]

No.

[Morgan]

Also, I know it feels like a lot, but, like, hey, I love you like a brother. I don't share those feelings. I think we should go. No contact for a while. I wish you the best.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I mean, that's what you're talking about.

[Morgan]

He's the problem.

[Justin]

Literally, he's the problem.

[Lauren]

And you have to distance from your second family in a way I don't

[Morgan]

even know because I think if you went to your second mom and was like, will just confessed his feelings to, to me. Like, I feel like, you know, like, I feel like she'd be like, what? Well, the bigger thing you guys shared

[Justin]

about what the bigger issue in all of this is that what he's doing to poor Sarah, to use her as a pawn in his game and his sick little game. For someone who has said just doesn't have feelings for him, it's like, how are you going to do that to this poor girl? That's so mean.

[Lauren]

Well, because it, it was taken that far. That's why I don't think, even with a lifetime of no contact, I don't think the feelings are going to change.

[Justin]

No.

[Morgan]

It seems like an obsession, like a really unhealthy obsession.

[Lauren]

That's why I'm saying I think the no contact has to go beyond him, unfortunately. Like, terrible. It's one of these things we always talk about where you end up in a situation. You did nothing to cause it, but you need to deal with all this bullshit and it drastically affects your life.

[Morgan]

So.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but you're going to for your own sanity. You're going to have to figure out that balance of where the no contact has to go. It's terrible.

[Morgan]

I would talk to my mom. Like, I think if you're close with your mom, like, for me, I would go to my mom and be like, what. What do I do? Like, what's wrong with him? I've never led him on. Even if I've never done anything.

[Justin]

Even if she did flirt with him or whatever. Like, that doesn't excuse anything that he's doing.

[Morgan]

No. And I. I do think, like, to your point, what he's doing to Sarah is horrible. You got engaged.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Maybe you getting engaged would have flipped a switch for me. That didn't work. So you went all the way through with your wedding. Did you expect me to run down the aisle and object?

[Lauren]

Right.

[Morgan]

And then you text me on your wedding night.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You couldn't even, like, get through the wedding night. What did you do all this for? If that was truly your end game, do you think me being the other woman or you leaving this nice girl for me is gonna. Is gonna sell me on you?

[Lauren]

Right.

[Justin]

No.

[Morgan]

You're an asshole.

[Justin]

Right.

[Morgan]

You're not a good, nice person.

[Lauren]

Well, like, confessing your feelings isn't wrong. It's the timing in which you did

[Jenna]

it,

[Lauren]

the way in which you. How long you waited to do it. Because if this was written from his perspective, and we were much earlier, and he said, hey, I've had these feelings for this person. I'm in a relationship. I think I'm in too deep. She's kind of wanting to take next steps. Should I confess my feelings to who I. Who I consider my one true love? We would all say, yes, you should do it. Yeah, but that's. Then it almost gets to the point where once you've gotten engaged, gotten married, it almost flips to where it's like, you shouldn't confess your feelings because look what you're about to do to so many people's lives, especially the one you're with. And this one, who's been a sister for your whole life. Like, it's. I don't know. There's really no right path. There's no good way about it. I mean.

[Justin]

I mean, the. The messed up thing is that he is trying to flip it on her and be like, what?

[Morgan]

Like, you've been leading me on. Yeah, it's your fault I have these lustrous feelings, just lashing out. Yeah.

[Justin]

For him to be like, I only did this for you. Like, to try to make you jealous. It's like, it's just so, so shitty.

[Lauren]

I don't imagine being the other person. Yeah, like, holy hell.

[Justin]

Exactly.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Justin]

So I just. It's so shitty. And like, the way that he handled it. Again, like, when people are truly in love and I get wanting to express that and, like, see if there's a shot. The way that it was handled was wild. Wild.

[Morgan]

It is. It's really bad. Top comment is I think you need to send him one single message that tells him you're sorry, but your feelings are so polar opposite to his and that you do not and never have and never will have romantic feelings for him because you don't have the capacity to see him as anything but a brother. Tell him you hope that this is a strange manifestation of cold feet and encourage him to work on his relationship. After that, I'd probably go quiet with him, at least for a while. Keep all communications courteous, but not close. And do not pursue a conversation in writing or in person anytime soon. Hopefully when you see him again, it will be as it always has been. It is very troubling, though, that he'd go so far with this charade that he says now after the vows are made, that he only pursued a relationship with Sarah to get your attention. I mean, what the fuck? That's psychotic. And that he is now trying to paint you as a villain. Suggesting you've messed with him by insinuating romantic interest just sort of puts the nail in the coffin. Given these things, I think you should seriously consider alerting your own family and possibly at least his mother to the situation. It isn't just that someone you always considered a brother has confessed romantic feelings. He is becoming manipulative of you and has been terribly irresponsible and harmful in his handling of the Sarah situation. Yeah, and I do 100%. All of that mic drop. And that's kind of what we were saying. It's like he got engaged. Wedding plan, got married. What was he expecting? And the. You've led me on. That's. That's bad. That is extremely scary behavior.

[Lauren]

He was hoping for the rom com situation. The object. Like, you brought up the objection at the wedding.

[Morgan]

I think there would have been signs, though.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Justin]

My guy.

[Lauren]

No, I fully agree. I mean, signs in college signs long even before engagement, but especially between engagement and marriage. I mean, like you said, that would have been the. That would have been the time.

[Morgan]

That's when, like. I mean, we hear these stories all the time. Like, that's typically when people are like, oh, my God, I realized I was in love with my best friend.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And engagement or a big change.

[Justin]

And I think that, like, if he would have approached it that way and been like, I. I am so sorry, but I'm sitting here about to. And I can't stop thinking about you. And I can't stop thinking, like. Like, what am I doing? And I just, like, care about you so much, and I don't know. And then she could be like, no. And then he. That's what he needs to realize. Okay, then I'm probably not with the right person. And I probably should call off the wedding. Even if this person doesn't want to be with me, because I clearly don't like this person enough who I'm gonna marry. Like, should be somebody that's not making me.

[Morgan]

I think he's honestly got a screw loose.

[Justin]

It sounds like it from those texts. Yeah.

[Morgan]

So OP does have an edit. I'm sorry I didn't include this to begin with, but I'm not thinking 100% clearly right now, and I still just feel terrible about everything. More info? Our families live in the same house, and our parents share parenting duties for all children. When I called out for Daddy in the middle of the night as a little girl, both dads came running, for example. Our families are so intertwined and always have been.

[Lauren]

Honestly. Yeah.

[Morgan]

I was giving colloquial 100. Our families are so intertwined and always have been. And I feel like Will just handed me this huge bomb. I think there's going to be a massive fallout from this, and that breaks my heart. We're all very close and tightly knit. I keep cycling between sad, angry, and betrayed. I'm upset because I feel like he's tasking me with breaking Sarah's heart, and I hate him for that right now.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I love Sarah possibly more than he does at this point. I wonder if that's actually the real reason. I wonder if maybe this is fake. I'm. I'm just like, God, I'm like, praying, like, please don't be actually, like, trying to go for her. Please just be such a coward. You don't want to say you married the wrong person and you're trying to. I don't know.

[Justin]

I'm like.

[Morgan]

Like, what other plausible excuse could there be for this? Because knowing that they grew up in the same house, knowing that it's Daddy and it's literally both dads, like, they're this really blended. Maybe a polycule family, that would feel incestuous. I. I'm like, I didn't really grasp the incestuous it feels like my brother.

[Justin]

Right.

[Morgan]

But no, that is your brother.

[Justin]

Right.

[Morgan]

You were raised together under the same roof, right? That is your brother.

[Justin]

You know, I. I just. I. It's so interesting because I have, like, mixed feelings on if that's weird or not, because I do. I do think that it's her brother. She was raised to feel like it's her brother. That's how she feels like. But I also think, like, you hear stories sometimes where people are, like, raised under the same household but not related, and then they, like, end up, like, loving each other in later years. And I'm like, it depends.

[Morgan]

Yeah, it depends on how you grew up. We've talked about this so much of, like, Ken stepsiblings get married, and it's like, well, when did you become step siblings? Did you grow up together? There's a lot of nuance to that. But this, they're very clearly blended family brother.

[Justin]

Did you ever watch the Umbrella Academy?

[Morgan]

No.

[Justin]

Okay. So it's something like that because they're all, like, superheroes and they're raised by the same dad, but, like, giving X Men kind of.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Justin]

And it's like a really, like, cold. The dad's really cold. So the siblings, like, really bond with each other, but they also don't have that, like, same type of, like, family dynamic. And then one of them, like, is in love with one of the other ones. And it was like they, like, grew up together. They all refer to each other as, like, their siblings. And so it, like, I just felt weird about it.

[Morgan]

That is.

[Justin]

But then I'm like, but is it weird? They don't look anything alike. They're not related.

[Morgan]

But if you looked at each other as siblings.

[Justin]

Right.

[Morgan]

That I have a hard time with,

[Justin]

it's a little bit odd, but I,

[Morgan]

you know, if your parents got married when you were both 18 and then you didn't really grow up together and you both went off to college and are like, wait, I like you.

[Justin]

Okay.

[Lauren]

It's almost like he never did see her as a sibling. Based on. I think that's what I'm saying.

[Justin]

Like, you know, if he was a little boy and, like, had a crush on her when he was a little boy, like, like, knew that it wasn't his actual sister. And so from a young age, he'd be like, so, so excited to see, like, his crush. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I guess it just.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Justin]

I don't know. They're both interesting still.

[Lauren]

Like, it still doesn't remove taking it so far and being just terrible.

[Justin]

Oh, yeah, no, that. That part stays.

[Lauren]

Yeah, but it just.

[Justin]

Yeah. Wow.

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by to when your mental health is suffering, finding the right treatment can be overwhelming. That's where Talk Iatry comes in. Toxiatry is an online psychiatry practice with licensed psychiatrists who can evaluate, diagnose, and provide ongoing medication management. When appropriate, they accept Major insurers can treat anxiety, adhd, depression, and more, and you can schedule your first visit in days, not months. Go to takiatry.com hot takes to get matched in minutes That's T A L K I a t r y.com ty/hottakes tokyotry.com hottakes this episode is brought to you by Sonic Summer is heating up, so it's a good thing Sonic Refreshers now come frozen, blended, icy cold with real fruit and green tea. Sonic Frozen Refreshers are the perfect way to cool it down when it gets hot. And they come in four delicious flavors. Strawberry, passion fruit, watermelon, peach, mango, peach and berry Citrus. And they're the perfect way to reward yourself, whether that's finding the last parking spot in the shade or. Or getting a compliment on your form from a workout instructor. Maybe it's remembering to put on sunscreen before you leave the house. Whatever it is this summer for all of life's little achievements, sip to that with new Frozen Sonic Refreshers. Live free. Eat Sonic. Try the new frozen Sonic Refreshers today. Order in the Sonic app for pickup or delivery, or visit your nearest Sonic. This episode is brought to you by Billie. I don't know about you guys, but I get a little lazy in the winter. I'm in hibernation mode and I grow out my leg hair a little bit. But it's getting warmer and now I'm excited for that first shave of the season. And if you are, then you gotta get the Billy razor in your life. It's designed for how women actually shave. Legs, pits, toes, happy trail wherever prickles decide to show up. It has five sharp blades and a pivoting head so you can actually get everywhere without doing shower gymnastics. And it comes with a magnetic holder so your razor stays dry on the wall. Instead of sitting in a shower puddle, grab a Billy razor in your favorite color in store [e-mail]. well, let's see what we learn in the update.

[Justin]

Oh God, yes. Oh God, yes.

[Morgan]

Holy crap, has it been a stressful month? The original plan was to wait two weeks from the time I posted to deal with it with Sarah and Will, but I ended up spilling the beans to my mom. Around three days after the post went up, she noticed that I wasn't my usual self and pried it out of me like moms tend to be able to do. She was flabbergasted and honestly didn't believe me until I showed her the messages on my phone. She called my dad and Will's parents in to an emergency family meeting and we all talked about it. I broke down crying and I told them everything that I had told you guys and to my surprise rallied around me in support. We all ended up crying and had a really long talk about our combined family and what this could mean for all of us. It was agreed that something somewhere went wrong because while the sibling flag was raised in my mind when it comes to Will, it wasn't with him. I didn't get into this in my original post, but Will and I were the youngest. We were born just a matter of days apart and he and I are closer than we are to any of our siblings because we always did everything, everything together. He's my best friend, but more importantly, in my mind and my heart, he's my brother. I expressed all of that to them and they agreed that my feelings were what they were going for when they opted for a shared family and we all felt like this was incest. That night we started researching local therapists who deal with situations like this and the next day we chose one for me to go to because honestly it was traumatic and I had a lot of feelings that I just didn't know

[Justin]

how to cope with.

[Morgan]

I'm still in therapy and it's going pretty well. I'm dealing with a lot of shit and starting to feel better. We decided to keep this between the parents and I until Will and Sarah got back from their honeymoon. The night they got back we had a huge family dinner with her family there too.

[Lauren]

Oh shit.

[Morgan]

None of us parents and I were excited about it, but we couldn't cancel because it had been set in stone as the only time it would work for everyone for a longish period of time.

[Justin]

Still cancel.

[Morgan]

I would cancel. I spent that night trying to keep my distance from Will because honestly, I couldn't handle being around him. He thought this was odd and ended up cornering me outside in the garden. He asked me what was up, why was I acting so weirdly.

[Justin]

Okay, what a weirdo.

[Lauren]

Where you been dog?

[Morgan]

I told him that he knows why and I tried to walk away. He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back towards him but I resisted. I ended up breaking down and telling him that I would never and could never feel the same way about him that he felt about me. I saw a look of genuine confusion. It was her and my heart and my stomach sunk.

[Justin]

You guys, Sarah wrote the text.

[Morgan]

I have no idea how this was going.

[Justin]

No, I'm not kidding. Like whenever you started saying this, I was like, what if it was her? I.

[Morgan]

It didn't cross my mind.

[Justin]

Or what if he's just plain that it was her so that he can pretend this never happened because he's embarrassed. Okay, tell us everything I need to know.

[Morgan]

Op goes on to say he had no idea what I was talking about. Those of you who guessed that it was Sarah all along were actually correct. His phone went missing during their trip and he hadn't cared because he was excited to be on his destination honeymoon.

[Justin]

Oh.

[Morgan]

I told him everything. He threw up in the koi pond and we on the same page for what felt like forever. I broke down crying again because my knee jerk reaction had been to cut him out of my life. And through sobs I was able to get that out. He comforted me and told me that he understood because almost anyone whose friend and brother decided to hit on them would probably feel similarly. He said that he would never hold my hurt reaction against me. We've been friends and family for a long time. We just sat there for a while because neither of us knew what to do because. Come on. This situation is fucked, dude. Eventually, our moms came out and flipped out when they saw us together and like amazing moms sprung to my defense. We got them to calm down and explained everything that it had been Sarah. And Will's mom lost her cool. She went into the house and ended up apparently tearing Sarah a new one. I don't know all of what was said because I remained outside with Will trying to calm down from everything. Fast forwarding a bit. Will decided to divorce Sarah. It came out that she had always been jealous when it came to me and absolutely hated me.

[Justin]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Her goal had been to either get me to admit feelings to Will so that he'd cut me out or to get me to cut him out. It also came out that she had never been faithful to Will and had regularly cheated on him throughout their relationship. Wow. So honestly, he dodged a bullet, albeit a bit too late. Will has moved back in and we are both looking at finding a place together as roommates. And he's gotten into therapy as well to deal with everything on his end. So in the end, my world didn't collapse and. And My bond with my best friend and quasi brother only deepened, but he ended up heartbroken. I'm so angry at Sarah for putting us all through that, when really she should have and could have expressed her feelings to me and we could have probably addressed things. But then again, she was still a cheater. Just. Ugh.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I don't even know what to think. So I guess it's a happy update. Question mark. Yeah, 100.

[Lauren]

So she definitely.

[Justin]

But, like, also really messed up. Like, what the. Sarah was defending you?

[Lauren]

Yeah, I was thinking that. So Sarah was hoping that she would, like, go. No contact by the time they got back. Basically.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And that they.

[Morgan]

Or I think, like, if OP would have been like, yeah, will, I have feelings for you.

[Lauren]

Oh, no, no, I get that.

[Morgan]

And then she'd delete the other message and be like, what? That's inappropriate. You need to cut her out.

[Lauren]

No, I get that. But I'm saying on the way it went, then you're going to. I mean, imagine. I know. She's the villain in the story. Imagine coming into that dinner, though.

[Justin]

Yeah, I know, right?

[Lauren]

Wouldn't you be like, they can't interact. They can't interact, they can't enter. Like, you've already set the groundwork.

[Justin]

Right.

[Lauren]

I'm just thinking as a criminal right now, basically.

[Morgan]

Well, you don't think they're going to talk.

[Lauren]

Exactly. Like, wouldn't you be, like, trying to keep them, like, I don't know that moment, though, that he shows that confused look.

[Morgan]

Oh, you guys. It did. I had no idea this was coming.

[Lauren]

That was crazy.

[Morgan]

I had no idea this was coming. This is coming from our friend, Direct Caterpillar. Yeah, I read the title. I trusted him.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

I literally have been emailing him today. I'm so excited he's gonna come on.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Justin]

This was a great one. This was a great twist.

[Morgan]

This rocked me. And I get why you guys, like, upd. We all love an update.

[Justin]

Yes.

[Morgan]

But, you know, we gotta.

[Justin]

We gotta have a good variety Morgan here. I'll just make it up myself. No, I need to know.

[Morgan]

No, I do like it, but unfortunately, like, not every story gets an update. This story is coming from February 25, 2016.

[Justin]

Oh, what?

[Morgan]

It is very, very old.

[Justin]

My God, I would love to know what they're up to now.

[Morgan]

Yeah, we don't have an update. The last comment we have is from 10 years ago in the process of getting divorced. But okay. In reference to how is Will doing? And I think people were asking, like, why did he throw up? And OP was like, because People have visceral reactions to things that disgust them.

[Justin]

His world was also just turned upside down. Like, the person that he thought that he was, like, in love with and gonna spend the rest of his life with now everything has changed in that moment. So outside of just being, like, grossed out by the fact, like, the idea

[Lauren]

of, oh, my God, yeah.

[Justin]

His sister thinking that he was in love with her, then there's also just

[Lauren]

the world too much to handle.

[Morgan]

Yeah. No, I'd crash out. Yeah, I'd crash out. Can you imagine, though, those two weeks for OP Thinking, like, oh, my God, my brother's in love with me?

[Justin]

No, I know. That's like.

[Lauren]

And then the whole family together the night before.

[Morgan]

Dude, I. The family meeting, I would be not there. I would not have been able to sit through that dinner. I would have found any excuse for me to be gone. So totally kudos to OP which is

[Lauren]

what she would have wanted. That was the whole strategy, literally.

[Morgan]

Yeah. And then they never would have talked. Yeah. Because the family wasn't going to confront him.

[Justin]

Yeah. They weren't going to.

[Morgan]

Not there in front of the dinner and her family.

[Lauren]

Then it would have come out. Right.

[Justin]

It would have come out eventually.

[Lauren]

So it's just.

[Morgan]

I don't understand her end game. Like, I'm very like, I get you. I get what you were trying to do, but didn't you think the other five to ten steps ahead of how this was potentially going to play out?

[Justin]

I think that she was convinced she was going to get a confession.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Justin]

And which is why she kept hounding her. That's right, because she wanted to get a confession. And since she kept digging herself deeper because she was like, I need to get a confession, otherwise, yeah, this might happen. And now my only hope is that she just disappears and doesn't say anything because she feels the how OP originally said she was feeling, like, yeah, do I need to leave my family?

[Lauren]

Like, right, she's too scared to tell the rest of the family because she doesn't want to break up the whole dynamic.

[Justin]

Right.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Justin]

So that. That's probably was her last, like, hope, but she probably knew that she was kind of screwed.

[Morgan]

This episode is brought to you by Disney and Hulu. We're going retro for real with Disney and Hulu. Throwbacks on Disney. Throw it back to Hannah Montana, the Princess Diaries, Camp Rock, and that's so Raven. Then turn Back the Clock with Hulu with Golden Girls, Full House, Malcolm in the Middle, and Gilmore Girls. Oh, snap. It's your favorite throwbacks from Disney and Hulu all of these and more now totally streaming 18 only offer valid for eligible subscribers Only terms apply.

[Jenna]

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[Morgan]

All new Sundays at 9, exclusively on AMC and AMC.

[Lauren]

I am the vampire Leston. I'm a rock star now. I'm a little killer. I'm a moon.

[Morgan]

From Anne Rice's immortal universe comes what Vulture calls the most momentous event in fictional rock history. Thousands of fans love you.

[Lauren]

I want millions. It's my era.

[Morgan]

Anne Rice is the vampireless dot. All new Sundays at 9 exclusively on

[Jenna]

AMC and AMC stream now.

[Lauren]

Damn. Wow, this one's like, up there, guys. This is like top 10.

[Morgan]

This next one might rock you guys a little more. Okay, our next story comes from R Relationship advice. It is titled, my fiance wants me to get circumcised before our wedding.

[Lauren]

So you can show it off? Well, it's like, what's the point? I don't. I don't understand. Like, you're not going to. It's not like at weddings you go around like, all right, everyone drop them. Let's see.

[Justin]

Wedding.

[Lauren]

Like, most people lose weight for their wedding to look good for their photos or they do xyz, but this one

[Justin]

is like, she wanted him to lose a little bit of weight.

[Morgan]

Oh, you too?

[Justin]

Okay. I feel like Justin didn't get that.

[Lauren]

Oh, I understood fully. I was just. I was gonna let it sit out there.

[Justin]

Okay.

[Morgan]

We met in the summer of 2018 and got engaged last year. Although our relationship is pretty solid, she can be very hot headed. For example, she gets upset when things don't go her way and takes it as a personal insult. It's definitely a princess syndrome. That can be difficult to deal with, but it's never caused serious issues. A couple of months ago, she told me that I will get circumcised before our wedding later this year. I said no, and she straight up told me that quote, it's not a choice.

[Justin]

Actually, it is. So there's that friendly reminder.

[Morgan]

We argued for a bit and she said that I wouldn't be attracted to her if she had an outie vagina with extra skin hanging. Her words, not mine.

[Lauren]

Damn.

[Morgan]

Wow. I told her that it's not really the same thing at all and that I would be attracted to her regardless. However, she got very irritated and ignored me for the rest of the evening. She has not stopped talking about this since that day. Every day she sends me articles talking about the benefits of circumcision that is totally healthy and safe.

[Justin]

She's a freak. Leave her immediately. I hate her so much and why

[Morgan]

I should do it.

[Justin]

I hate her. She.

[Morgan]

She says that civilized men get circumcised and that we're not like those Europeans. The thing is, she's mixed race, half French and grew up in France, so I don't understand her thought process here. Her ex was French, but she repeatedly said that she dislikes French people and wants me to be better than that. According to her, that includes getting a circumcision. Yesterday she brought it up again and I said that she has no right to tell me what to do with my body. She yelled that she spends a lot of time and effort to on her appearance and isn't asking for much in return. While it's true she spends a lot of money on beauty hair facial treatments around 800amonth, I don't think you can compare that to a circumcision.

[Lauren]

No.

[Morgan]

She got very upset calling me selfish and heartless and basically told me to fuck off. Normally when we argue, she doesn't get that heated. But I could hardly tolerate her attitude yesterday. Later that evening, we had sex. Ew. Yes, I'm stupid.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Morgan]

Gross. And in the middle of it, she brought up that topic again. It felt very manipulative. And when I told her that this is not the right time, she accused me of not loving her and actually started crying. Since she rarely cries, this didn't seem genuine. She got up and told me that it was we will get this done either way and that I shouldn't let such a small issue ruin what we have.

[Justin]

Look in the mirror, bitch.

[Morgan]

To be honest, that sounded ominous and I don't even know what to think of it. Is this something that we can work out at all? Throughout our entire relationship, she never complained about my uncircumcised penis. And now it's such a big deal to her. It's giving me anxiety about our future and I don't even know what to do. We've had so many discussions about it and it always ends the same way.

[Justin]

There's no future here. There's one immediately.

[Lauren]

One easy question. Is this someone you want to raise kids with? And I get. Some people are child free. But I think that's a good qualifying question to a long term partner. Is this someone I want to raise children with? Do I trust this person to raise children with? Would you.

[Morgan]

I'm.

[Lauren]

I'm just fixation on something like this and it's like you're going to do.

[Morgan]

No, I'm. I'm genuinely terrified of her in general.

[Justin]

Sick.

[Morgan]

The fact that she's.

[Justin]

Yeah. That she's body shaming other woman too. Like what a. What an actual. I hate her. Like what?

[Morgan]

Every vagina looks different. Also if the roles were reversed and your partner was saying you, you need to get labiaplasty and cut your vagina lips off so you can look like

[Justin]

an 18 year old the way I

[Morgan]

want you to look.

[Justin]

Just like the entire topic of trying to tell someone to change that part of them is like, no, that you don't do that. Let f like let everyone come on. Like don't. Don't do that.

[Lauren]

Especially because it's like, it's sort of like get a boob job or I won't marry you. It's. You're. You're holding it over and then I feel like we will get this done.

[Morgan]

They're both really wrong, but I, I almost feel like a circumcision is wrong. I do worse than a big job.

[Lauren]

I mean it's like, like any surgery,

[Morgan]

it's volatile to like demand that on someone. Yes, it's. All of it's bad, but. All of it's bad.

[Lauren]

But it's a we we.

[Justin]

No.

[Morgan]

And that will get this. That's what really messed me up. Her saying we will get this done. Either way. What is either way of what? Are you gonna. Are you gonna like chloroform me and make me pass out and drag me to a clinic? Like what?

[Justin]

Yeah, I think it's like really like for an adult. It's like, like is a. Not a pretty healing process. This attitude over anything would be concerning, but over this is just like. I. I don't know. She makes me so mad. I'm. I don't even have words anymore anymore.

[Lauren]

Like, you can have your preference, but don't project it on me. Go find someone that has what you want.

[Justin]

Yeah, exactly.

[Lauren]

It's not wrong to want what you want, but you can't go force someone to be exactly what you want? Yeah, go find someone that is if

[Morgan]

like they're just genuinely not sexually compatible and she thinks this is going to fix that. Say he were to do it and then your sex still doesn't get better. Are you kidding me? Just find someone else. You're clearly test driving the car before you're driving it off the lot and

[Lauren]

make a choice like that for yourself.

[Justin]

How and how long until it starts to be an insecurity for him. After you have someone who's like your life partner telling you constantly that it's a defect on you and she's literally

[Morgan]

saying she's not attracting to you because of it.

[Justin]

No, that's. How did they get to the point that they're getting married? Like.

[Morgan]

And that's what the comments start getting into. Top comment. This relationship sounds hellish. I can't imagine wanting to stay with someone who makes such demands and who cries during sex in an attempt to influence me.

[Justin]

Manipulate.

[Morgan]

What are you doing?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

OP responds. I'll be honest. I don't know.

[Justin]

Yeah, get the out.

[Morgan]

Someone else says, wow, this girl sounds absolutely awful. It's bad enough to try and pressure your partner to change their appearance in small ways, but she's trying to force you to get an unnecessary procedure on your dick and harping on it. Her tears were 100% manipulation.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

You need to tell her that you are absolutely not altering your body for her ridiculous preference and if it bothers her that much, you will leave. And you should. This is a woman that doesn't respect your bodily autonomy and therefore doesn't respect you as a person. I honestly don't think this relationship will last. And if you stay with her or, God forbid, go through with this, you're setting yourself and potential future children up for a lifetime of emotional abuse and being controlled.

[Justin]

Yep.

[Morgan]

I have to add too that I find it pretty strange she's been presumably fucking you for quite some time now and is just insisting you get circumcised now that you're going to be married.

[Justin]

So weird.

[Morgan]

OP responds. That's what I don't understand. When we first had sex, she didn't even comment on it. This came out of nowhere and I don't understand why she didn't bring it up earlier.

[Justin]

She needed to get him locked in before she started editing him.

[Lauren]

It's like she had an experience with someone else. She cheated and then she decided she liked it more.

[Justin]

I literally was like even think of that.

[Lauren]

It such a fixation out of nowhere. And it's like if I'm gonna be married to you. You gotta be exactly what I want to have.

[Morgan]

I was wondering if she cheated, what is cheating?

[Justin]

And like, that didn't even cross my mind for some reason. But that's. That would be a good. That'd be a good point.

[Morgan]

Yeah. So someone responds to that though, like, why shouldn't bring it up earlier? Opie's comment. And someone goes, did you ask her why she suddenly feels this way? I mean, I don't think the answers will change what I think about her or that this won't last, but I'm genuinely curious. Op responds, I asked her, but she won't give me a reason. She just says that it's her preference and that she discussed it with her friend.

[Lauren]

Oh, great.

[Justin]

You're her friend that she sleeps with. What?

[Morgan]

That's what we got.

[Justin]

That's all we got. That's the end. You're lying to me. I know you're lying.

[Morgan]

Faze. Yes, we do get an update. I don't know where to start, but I'd like to say thank you to everyone on here first. I have received countless private messages, all pretty much saying the same thing. Yet I still wanted to work things out and marry her. Then a few days after my post, we had a huge fight. She threatened me, I won't give too many details, but it was more than enough to give me a wake up call. And that's when I finally realized that this relationship isn't healthy or normal. I had those thoughts before, but her action that day confirmed it. Right now I'm in the process of completely removing her from my life. That incident had a significant impact on my mental health. And at this point, I just need a long break. I've spoken to her parents in private and they're almost begging me to rethink the whole situation. I won't. I still love her, but couldn't do this anymore. It's a shock to the system. I went from planning my future with her to actively cutting off everything that connects us. I read through all the comments again after the incident and they put things into perspective. Thank you again for all of the advice and private messages.

[Justin]

Oh, thank God. God bless. I just. This just the story really, really pissed me off because it's just like such a, like delicate thing for people to. And to. For that to be the hill that you die on. Like shaming somebody about that part of them is just find a different partner. If you don't like that, like, don't try to change that. It's just like, I just it's rough

[Morgan]

and intimate body part.

[Justin]

I know. And I'm even, like, worried about the listeners here, like. Like, getting insecurities based off of this girl's opinion. Like, I'm like, it's so mean. So mean.

[Morgan]

It's weird. It's weird. And this is like, I. I feel like not a lot of countries do circumcise their kids. Like, it is a decision that's being wrong with it.

[Justin]

No, it's literally more normal.

[Morgan]

It's so.

[Justin]

It's the most normal.

[Morgan]

It's like, it literally is how you're designed. Yeah, it's. That's the most normal.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

No, but I do. I just think, like, if anyone's gonna pressure you or make you feel bad about your body, you're not with the right person. Like, you're just not. Like, your bodies aren't meant to be. They're not meant to be. They're just not right. And so hearing this, and it's just like, God, it's just. It's. It's. I have no words. I feel like I'm you in the episode that came out this week where you just sat there and you're like. And people literally. The comments have been so funny on it. People are like, I literally had to go and make sure my phone didn't disconnect from my car.

[Justin]

I know.

[Morgan]

Or that the video paused.

[Justin]

I know sometimes. So, like, I assume that you'll edit that out and just make it like.

[Morgan]

It was so good, though. It was so good. I got the edit back from Jenna because Jenna will edit it first, and then I do. Like, another pass. And, like, Jenna took it out and

[Justin]

you put it back in.

[Morgan]

No, she didn't. She thought it was so funny. She was laughing. I. I was dying again when I watched it. Yeah, because your face just says so much. And that's how I feel right now. I'm like, I don't have words. It's just such depraved, disrespectful, horrific behavior from someone, and you don't deserve that. Like, love is respect, and that is not respect.

[Lauren]

No, that's what I'm hoping OP Will gain from this, is not to have to go all the way. I mean, the first sentence of that update was scary. I was still planning on going forward and getting married, despite everything we had heard in the original post.

[Morgan]

I know.

[Lauren]

And what I'm hoping for OP is that, okay, you can see from this that based on all the comments and just the experience, everyone already knew where we were headed. But for you it took. And I get it's harder when you're in it, but it took even another step further of something even that much worse happening for then you to realize and be like, oh, okay, this isn't good for me. So I'm hoping for op that this has major radar stronger to this type of thing. So you can not have to go so far down and experience such bad to realize someone isn't good for you. And you know, the, the good thing is that once you go through something like this, you will have that naturally. You'll know the second someone feels a little bit like that and all your flags will go up and be like, nope, not going down that rabbit hole. But you'll also know when someone is the opposite of that. And you'll be able to quickly know, oh, wow, this is so much better than what I was dealing with before. And then it's the classic, I can't believe I stay in that so long. But again, easier said looking back 2020 and much easier said from an outsider looking in. But you know, you just hope someone, it allows for someone to grow and just be able to have better experiences because you get rid of the bad ones quicker.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I mean his radar is going to be more in tune. Hopefully she will now get maybe some help that she needs.

[Justin]

I hope so.

[Morgan]

And he can just move on and find his person. But wow, Wild.

[Justin]

I also loved Morgan that you go, I have no words. And then you like went and like dropped three big words and then like ended with like a, like poetry.

[Morgan]

I was like, you found the words, bitch.

[Justin]

You found the words choo choo.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah. No, and I just, I just want to plug this quiz again because I've shared it on two outtakes in the past. I've shared it on Father Knows. I've shared it on clues because we do have, you know, so many of you out there listening where sometimes it's one of these stories that makes you realize like, oh, like, wow, maybe, maybe

[Justin]

I'm not in the right relationship.

[Morgan]

Not in the right. Or maybe, oh God, that feels like that's hitting a little too close to home. And yeah, there's a website, it's called love is respect.org. they have a quiz on there that basically you just answer very general questions about your relationship and it gets to the end and it tells you like, hey, maybe you're not in a healthy relationship. The website also has safety features built into it. So if you hit Escape twice, it just goes to Google and if you hit back, it doesn't go anywhere. Like, it's, oh, that's cool. It's meant for people that need it.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

And so I've shared this now a couple times on, you know, all the shows. And I actually have gotten multiple messages now from listeners that have used that quiz as a way to have a conversation with their friend because what they've said in the past hasn't worked. It's made their friend not share or it's made their friend not feel like the relationship is safe to share or that their friend isn't going to judge them. And so multiple listeners have reached out and said, I sent it to my friend. She's now getting out. And so I'm just gonna just like, it's so. It's so amazing, like, what this show can do in terms of, like, helping people realize you do deserve love and a healthy relationship and respect. So I'll post that quiz again in the description. And I took it, like, I literally took it just to, like, see. I'm like, I think I'm good, but let me see.

[Lauren]

She is.

[Justin]

You need to zoom in on Justin's face right there.

[Morgan]

I just think everyone should take it, like, I do think it's a good barometer of, like. Let me just be sure you can take it too. You did.

[Lauren]

I've got to make sure, guys. I mean, you never know.

[Morgan]

You never know, though.

[Justin]

You do.

[Morgan]

Like, I think that's like, it's so easy to slip into, like, toxic patterns and it's like, it's not that bad or, ah, it's one time because it's,

[Justin]

it gets it progressive snowballs.

[Lauren]

You start to think it's normal.

[Justin]

It's. It's each like little thing. And then. And you're like, it's not that bad. But it's. If, if they were to do this on the first date, you would be like, oh, see ya. But it's like, it's.

[Morgan]

There's this goalpost and you're now married, and it's not that easy to unwind your lives. And we've got kids and I really don't want to separate and give up 50% of time with my kids. And so there's so much context and nuance and, you know, life is messy and big and, you know, not everything's black and white. It is oftentimes really gray.

[Lauren]

Well, you need to address things as they are in recent times. We're not staying together married, because we've been married for 25 years. We're not going to continue our friendship just because We've been friends for 10 years. We need to look at how the relationship is now.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

We don't make decisions based on the past, make decisions based on now.

[Morgan]

Yeah, that's all I got. You know, a lot of updates, this one. You know, that's why I do also like not having so many updates on an episode because then we get through a lot of stories, but this was really good. Crazy. Chugga chug train mess. Chugga, chugga, hot mess.

[Justin]

I did want to say, though, like, when we did the live shows and we would do meet and greets, that was a thing that we had a lot, is that people came up to us and they shared their stories that they were in the worst relationship of their life. They listened to the show, they decided they got the courage to leave, and then they found the love of their life.

[Morgan]

Literally. There was one woman forgetting what city it was. Please comment if you're comfortable. Of course. But she was like, I left. I got out because of the show, and now I'm sitting front row with

[Justin]

my new boyfriend and, like, and I've never been happier. And he treats me so well. And I didn't know that this was even possible. Like, it is. It's so beautiful to get those stories. I think that is one of the best things about this show is, is people realizing that they deserve better.

[Morgan]

Yeah, I. I'm oftentimes really awestruck in how the show reaches people.

[Justin]

Don't make me cry. It's just.

[Morgan]

It's such a gift and I'm. I'm so thankful for everyone listening.

[Justin]

No, I. Honestly, the. The last episode that we had, I asked for dental advice and the amount of people that have reached out to me, like, even like outside of the Reddit, people have come and found my Instagram and reached out to me, and it's like, it makes me feel so close to you guys and it makes. Feel real and it makes me so grateful.

[Morgan]

This is our village.

[Justin]

Yeah. And it's just like the fact that, like, there's this support and people who are willing to reach out and give advice or share their stories about their be vulnerable. Yeah. It's just so. It means so much to me. So I just really am really, really

[Morgan]

grateful for you guys. I know. I love our little hottie community, our hotties out there. Speaking of live shows, we do have one coming up now.

[Justin]

Oh, my God. When I reposted, everyone thought that we were going on tour. They were like, so upset.

[Morgan]

I know we're going to get there next year is tour year Again, we're going to get back out there. I see you. I see where you want us to come, but you know, if you haven't told us yet, please drop it in the comments. I see Canada.

[Justin]

I know. I was going to say like Canada wants us there.

[Morgan]

Ohio, a lot of Florida.

[Justin]

Can we go to Canada?

[Morgan]

I want to go to Canada.

[Justin]

Okay. I don't know if there was like a weird like tax thing.

[Morgan]

There is might be a pro bono show.

[Justin]

But can you say pro bono for this scenario?

[Morgan]

I don't know. Well, because like.

[Justin]

Well, how do I like to look into it? I liked it, but I'm like, does it actually fit?

[Morgan]

Because I like it. It does, yeah. We would just donate it to a Canadian charity instead.

[Lauren]

Musicians tour all over the world. You just have an accountant.

[Morgan]

Baby, we're. Baby, we're.

[Justin]

Baby, we're.

[Morgan]

Baby. You know, we're not selling out stadiums yet or. Baby, we're still just a little tight knit family over here, guys.

[Justin]

But I still feel like babies do tours around the world, don't they?

[Lauren]

Yes, there's lots of Baby tours.

[Morgan]

Boss Baby on tour.

[Justin]

God, there's a baby in my apartment complex that I swear to God is Boss Baby. He is up to something.

[Morgan]

You should introduce him to Michaela. It's her favorite movie.

[Justin]

Oh my God.

[Morgan]

And then literally one of the listeners was like, thank you, Michaela.

[Justin]

Smiling deviously.

[Lauren]

Did he wear sunglasses? That would be. That would be.

[Morgan]

That'd be crazy. Someone. One of the listeners though, I think like her dad wrote Boss Baby.

[Justin]

That's so something.

[Morgan]

Something. They reached out to Michaela or they commented. Mikayla saw it because I remember her talking to me about it, but.

[Justin]

Oh, I love that.

[Morgan]

Yeah, we're going. We're doing a live show in Irvine November 154 for you fest. So. So I'll put the link for that in the description too, in case you guys want to come and see us. We might also have a very special guest along with us.

[Justin]

Am I special too?

[Morgan]

You're the most special. The most. I love you guys. I love you guys. But until next time.

[Justin]

Until next time.

[Lauren]

Until next time.

[Justin]

Bye bye.

[Morgan]

One chug for the road. One chug. Just one chug. That was so good. This episode is brought to you by. Sonic Summer is heating up. So it's a good thing. Sonic refreshers now come frozen, blended, icy cold with real fruit and green tea. Sonic Frozen refreshers are the perfect way to cool it down when it gets hot. And they come in four delicious flavors. Strawberry, passion fruit, watermelon, peach, mango, peach and berry citrus. And they're the perfect way to reward yourself, whether that's finding the last parking spot in the shade or getting a compliment on your form from a workout instructor. Maybe it's remembering to put on sunscreen before you leave the house. Whatever it is this summer for all of life's little achievements, sip to that with new Frozen Sonic Refreshers. Live free. Eat Sonic. Try the new frozen Sonic Refreshers today. Order in the Sonic app for pickup or delivery, or visit your nearest Sonic this episode is brought to you by Skims. Can we talk about some good cotton basics for a second? The everyday Cotton Scoop Bralette is my staple. I wear this running around. I wear it under my cute little tank top. I love that it doesn't have any underwire and is just so comfortable. Comfort is what I am prioritizing this summer, which is why I love all of the lightweight cotton T shirts. Again, I'm not overheating when I go outside. I can bob around in them and later on pair them with a cute denim skirt or some jeans and be ready for a date night. There's nothing better than finding undergarment solutions that fit you, fit your life. And that is Skims. They're good, simple clothes that are going to end up becoming part of your daily routine. And I've never felt more empowered and comfortable in my clothes. Thanks to Skims Shop, Skims Cotton and all of my favorite [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you Select Podcast in the survey and be sure to select My show in the dropdown menu that follows. Thank you.