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Todd Chrisley
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Todd Chrisley
Welcome to Two Sons and me. I'm Todd, the star of the show, and these are my sidekicks, Grayson and Chase. How are y' all today? Great.
Grayson Chrisley
Good.
Chase Chrisley
Worst intro you've had to any episode.
Todd Chrisley
That is not. What are you talking about?
Grayson Chrisley
Do you actually believe that you're the star?
Todd Chrisley
Do you believe that I'm not? It's so sad. Folks, listen, that's. Our country has a huge dose of what Chase is having right now. It's called delusion. How are you today? Delusion. Yes. So how's your week been?
Grayson Chrisley
It's been another week.
Todd Chrisley
Okay. What about you?
Grayson Chrisley
In another week? I've survived. Barely.
Todd Chrisley
Okay.
Grayson Chrisley
Torment torture.
Chase Chrisley
Good week. I mean, nothing's happened, so that's good.
Todd Chrisley
That's right. But you're also doing summer class, right? So proud of you. So proud of you. Well, I was in Texas for all of you that like to keep up with what I'm doing. And there's a lot of you that like to keep up with what I'm Doing them, too. Not so much. But listen, we all have a purpose,
Grayson Chrisley
and yours is to annoy the out of us and to beat me down and treat me like. And alienate me.
Todd Chrisley
Oh, okay. Grayson, how do I make you fail?
Grayson Chrisley
Same. Say the same thing. Say the same thing.
Chase Chrisley
Really make me feel like that.
Grayson Chrisley
That must be nice.
Todd Chrisley
How do I make you feel, son?
Chase Chrisley
Good.
Todd Chrisley
I make you feel good. And I tell you a million times a day how much I love you. Okay. And I check on you all throughout the day. Gotcha. Okay. Just making sure that I'm getting one thing right since I have older children that feel like I've been a shitty parent.
Grayson Chrisley
You put those words out there. I never said that.
Todd Chrisley
Oh, I think y' all have said it. Y'. All. Y' all have said it. You know who you're aligned with.
Grayson Chrisley
Who am I lying with?
Todd Chrisley
We'll just. No, no, no. We'll just keep it. One thing we are not going to
Grayson Chrisley
do is throw me in a boat that's that dirty and sinking. That is not happening. I can tell you that right now. I might be in my own paddle boat, but that's my boat. I'm not in that other one.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, you, Pat. You rowing in the same direction.
Grayson Chrisley
No, I'm not.
Chase Chrisley
Oh, my God.
Grayson Chrisley
That's dirty as hell.
Todd Chrisley
That's.
Grayson Chrisley
That's. That is.
Todd Chrisley
That's some foul shit.
Grayson Chrisley
That's foul. That's barbaric.
Todd Chrisley
So I was in Texas this week, and I was in Fort Worth. And I have to tell y', all, it's every part of Texas that I go to, it just gets better.
Commercial Announcer
That is.
Todd Chrisley
That is the God's honest truth. It gets better. I was at one of this. One of these places y' all may not have heard of, because I don't talk about it a lot. It's called Hudson House. It is my spot that I go to. And so I went to Hudson House in Fort Worth, and so many people stopped by my table, but not to, like, interrupt. It was, Mr. Chrisley, nice to have you. I got ready to leave. They're standing outside the door in the parking lots, at their cars, waited. Came up to me. My little friend Wilson, who was there that's working with me on another project, and they came up and said, Mr. Christa, he said, welcome to Fort Worth. He said, we're proud to have you here. Can I get a photograph? That's the way you're supposed to do it. And just the nicest people then I met. I went to this manufacturing facility, and every person there was Just absolutely lovely manners. Yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, ma'. Am. No, ma'. Am. Talking to each other this way. And I was like, this is such a breath of fresh air.
Grayson Chrisley
You should start talking to me that way, and then we can build something back.
Todd Chrisley
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Good boy. Sir. And so I had a great time when I was in Texas. I have officially found my spot, and I am very happy about it. I love it. And in the coming months, I'm sure that it's going to leak out. But until then, I'm going to keep it private because I want to be able to have that little bit of privacy. But I'm very happy with where we. Where we landed. So, you know, with that being said, I'm going to miss you, miss y'. All, But I'm going to see you once a month, and we'll FaceTime every day.
Grayson Chrisley
Yeah.
Todd Chrisley
And I'll be working on the farm. I'm gonna do this new show. It's gonna be one of five. You know, I said I was not gonna do any more television. I'm not doing television.
Grayson Chrisley
You thirsty?
Todd Chrisley
We knew it.
Grayson Chrisley
We knew it. This attention seeking cannot turn his back to the camera.
Todd Chrisley
I'm not doing another show the way that I did. Chrisley knows best. But one of the shows that I'm doing is kind of like a throwback to the Simple Life. And pause.
Grayson Chrisley
Run it the back. That was my idea. It was I, John Morgan.
Todd Chrisley
It's going to be me and Nanny Faye, and then we're going to have special guests on. On the Farm. Brother.
Grayson Chrisley
That was my idea.
Todd Chrisley
It was not.
Grayson Chrisley
Pull the clip. Roll the clip. Roll the clip. Trademark it. Send me the copy. I'm sending it to the attorneys.
Todd Chrisley
That's just not true.
Grayson Chrisley
Todd.
Todd Chrisley
Are you. Are you.
Grayson Chrisley
Is this a setup?
Todd Chrisley
If this is.
Grayson Chrisley
Are you setting this.
Todd Chrisley
This is your way, wanting to try to worm in and get a role on the show.
Grayson Chrisley
You need me on the show. You know that.
Todd Chrisley
No, I got you.
Grayson Chrisley
Yeah. Let's not forget how that show is
Todd Chrisley
really, you know, Nanny is gold. So, folks, this show is going to be so good.
Grayson Chrisley
Pull the clip up, please. Can we pull the clip up?
Todd Chrisley
It's going to be so good for
Grayson Chrisley
the Simple Life where I said that we should.
Todd Chrisley
Simple, dirty life.
Grayson Chrisley
It's the same idea.
Todd Chrisley
No, mine. Simple, clean life. It's going to be a great show, and I love that y' all can pop in, you know, whenever your schedules allow. It's going to be a really good show.
Grayson Chrisley
Nope.
Todd Chrisley
So I'm very, very happy with kind of where we've ended up and very happy with the content that we're going to be able to create there. A new, new twist on Judy's cooking show just happened this morning and it is going to be so unlike any that has ever been done on television. And I'm very, very, very proud of that. And your mother's extremely happy as of this morning. So they don't even know folks. Because you know, I've learned that if you have a secret and you tell one person it's not a secret. And one of my guest host has a problem with leaking information. So I'm not going to say who it would be but I don't give a. He doesn't go to Alabama. Did I just throw sh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. You little snitch.
Grayson Chrisley
I have not. Don't you call me a snitch. I'm not no snitch.
Todd Chrisley
Rat.
Grayson Chrisley
I'm not a rat. Don't know. I don't care. Keep your to yourself.
Todd Chrisley
So I mean so now you. You're. Did you find you a place because you were looking? That's what you said you were.
Grayson Chrisley
I keep myself to myself.
Todd Chrisley
Okay, gotcha. Gotcha. Okay, well your place is your place. My place. That's right. So.
Grayson Chrisley
So not fun long because I'm gonna
Todd Chrisley
burn that mother down. See, here we go. Crazy. Crazy. Did you like it?
Chase Chrisley
I loved it.
Todd Chrisley
Do you?
Grayson Chrisley
Loved what?
Todd Chrisley
My new place.
Grayson Chrisley
Did you actually find something?
Todd Chrisley
Yes. No. I'm sitting here making this up.
Grayson Chrisley
Well, you. Who knows with you brother? I'm just sick of your.
Todd Chrisley
It's.
Grayson Chrisley
It's.
Todd Chrisley
Do you like it?
Grayson Chrisley
It's mentally draining.
Todd Chrisley
Okay, good.
Grayson Chrisley
Where is it? What part?
Todd Chrisley
I'm not. Did you just hear me say I was not disclosing the location?
Grayson Chrisley
Is it where you thought you were going to be?
Todd Chrisley
I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I don't want. I know you got a part time gig with tmz. So Texas, here we come. And I could not be happier. Could not be happier. What are your thoughts?
Grayson Chrisley
I wish you nothing but the best. I hope you have a great life.
Todd Chrisley
Right. Peace. So you want to. Are you trying to get on the show?
Grayson Chrisley
No, I'll take mine up in court.
Todd Chrisley
Stick your. Stick your tongue out.
Grayson Chrisley
That's my show.
Todd Chrisley
Let me see if there's a lot
Grayson Chrisley
he's gonna have like four more ideas that are just gonna might have came from me.
Todd Chrisley
Oh God.
Grayson Chrisley
Who was that that did that? Who was that famous artist that did it? That Stole someone else's work.
Todd Chrisley
Oh, my God.
Grayson Chrisley
Oh, it.
Aaron Chrisley
Are you all ready for a game?
Chase Chrisley
Yeah.
Todd Chrisley
Yes. We'd love to do a game with you, Aaron.
Aaron Chrisley
Okay, let's play a game. So we've gone back and found more shots at Chase. Some of the. No. Chase. You know I keep it even.
Grayson Chrisley
You don't.
Aaron Chrisley
That's not true.
Grayson Chrisley
Oh, my God. Yeah, it is.
Aaron Chrisley
You're. Now you're taking it on me. But you don't normally do that, so
Todd Chrisley
I'll let it pass. No. Look at my baby.
Aaron Chrisley
These are some of the most iconic looks. We're gonna rate them on a scale from 1 to 10 of like, did they crush it or did it crush them?
Chase Chrisley
10.
Todd Chrisley
That's a 10. That was a John Galliano jacket.
Grayson Chrisley
I don't even know who that is.
Aaron Chrisley
So we'll show these on the screen. These are in no particular order that named Marcus. And they're not in Chronolog.
Grayson Chrisley
$5,000 on a six year old check.
Todd Chrisley
And I still have it. And I still have that.
Grayson Chrisley
That's a win for Grayson, for a
Todd Chrisley
loss for Todd, for your baby.
Aaron Chrisley
So no particular order. They're not chronological. So on a 1 out of 10, we're going to rate the looks.
Grayson Chrisley
10.
Todd Chrisley
10.
Chase Chrisley
10.
Aaron Chrisley
Grayson.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah?
Aaron Chrisley
You still feeling that one?
Chase Chrisley
Yeah.
Aaron Chrisley
Okay. Love it. What about this look?
Todd Chrisley
Yes, that's a 10, too.
Grayson Chrisley
What a nerd.
Todd Chrisley
No, it wasn't. He's gorgeous.
Grayson Chrisley
That's a 10.
Aaron Chrisley
Grayson. How do you feel about this one?
Chase Chrisley
Tim,
Grayson Chrisley
If you can't tell, Grayson's very
Aaron Chrisley
loved a nice sweater. See, this is the. This is the sweater. The kind of button up look Ty was talking about. Your sister wear shirt.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, it came from Fred Siegel in the.
Grayson Chrisley
You look rich. You look like a Hamptons kid. Kid.
Aaron Chrisley
You do.
Todd Chrisley
He's so precious.
Aaron Chrisley
What about. What about the trash stash in Vegas?
Chase Chrisley
That wasn't in Vegas. That was in the Bahamas. You were there.
Aaron Chrisley
Oh, Bahamas. That's what I meant.
Grayson Chrisley
You were there.
Chase Chrisley
You were beside me.
Aaron Chrisley
No, I know, but it's celebrity poker. We've done twice, remember? Vegas and Bahamas.
Todd Chrisley
Who is this Waka flocka? What is that? A singer, A rapper? So I played blackjack of flame in the Bombers Walk.
Aaron Chrisley
A Flock of Flame.
Todd Chrisley
What?
Grayson Chrisley
Waka flocka.
Aaron Chrisley
Flock of Flame.
Todd Chrisley
Waka flocka. Flame.
Aaron Chrisley
Correct.
Todd Chrisley
I mean, that's okay. I mean, I would say that that's probably a five.
Aaron Chrisley
Is it the stash that's pulling the score down?
Todd Chrisley
He's got a little bit of that 70s porn thing going on there.
Grayson Chrisley
Free mustache rides.
Aaron Chrisley
Grayson how do you feel?
Chase Chrisley
6.
Aaron Chrisley
You think? You think you can do better?
Chase Chrisley
Yeah.
Aaron Chrisley
Okay.
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Chase Chrisley
I mean, I just took that in a.
Todd Chrisley
Well, this kind of reminds me of that kid that's out here screwing all these I see on Instagram right now. Covert or Calvert or something.
Aaron Chrisley
The looks Maxing guy.
Todd Chrisley
What is it?
Grayson Chrisley
Clavicular?
Todd Chrisley
Clavicular? Yeah, you look like Clavicular Clap.
Grayson Chrisley
Just call him Clap.
Todd Chrisley
You look like Clav there, and Clab is a douche.
Aaron Chrisley
Is it the deep V that's giving that? Is it the look? What do we think?
Todd Chrisley
He's just got that look on him, like, yeah, I got something for you, Grayson.
Aaron Chrisley
How do you. How would you rank yourself?
Chase Chrisley
I think it's fine. Yeah, he's seven.
Aaron Chrisley
A seven. Okay.
Todd Chrisley
Well, you. As far as looks go, you a 10. But you definitely got a little attitude there. Look at that jawline.
Grayson Chrisley
I already know I'm about to get cooked.
Todd Chrisley
Oh, a tan. 100% pink.
Chase Chrisley
Suit was cool.
Todd Chrisley
You look beautiful there. You look just like I used to. A three.
Aaron Chrisley
Y'.
Todd Chrisley
All.
Aaron Chrisley
Describe it for the people listening on audio.
Chase Chrisley
I don't play a basketball game like that.
Aaron Chrisley
What's Grayson wearing in this one?
Todd Chrisley
He's wearing camo overalls with that porn stash and some kind of mirrored sunglasses.
Grayson Chrisley
Why did you get rid of the stash. I like the stash. Grayson rocks the stash.
Todd Chrisley
As long as you like the stashes, because you know that makes you look a little bit better than him. So that's why you're trying to eliminate competition.
Grayson Chrisley
No, I think he can rock it.
Chase Chrisley
Basketball game like that.
Todd Chrisley
That's sad. You rock stash. That's a two.
Aaron Chrisley
Grayson.
Chase Chrisley
I don't think that's a two.
Grayson Chrisley
I'm gonna give that a five.
Chase Chrisley
I'd say five.
Aaron Chrisley
Five. Okay.
Todd Chrisley
Oh, that's a ten.
Aaron Chrisley
This is in the kind of faux mullet phase.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, but he's still beautiful.
Aaron Chrisley
No, I know. I think you rocked it.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, It's a tone 10.
Grayson Chrisley
You look like you slept with your babysitter.
Todd Chrisley
He's someone's babysitter. Oh, my God. I thought you were so good looking. Ah, that is amazing. I love that. And your suit.
Chase Chrisley
That was at Mar a Lago.
Aaron Chrisley
I know.
Todd Chrisley
You look so gorgeous. Just like me.
Aaron Chrisley
So this is Grayson and the tux are the people that are just listening. Bow tie with Savannah. She's very tan.
Todd Chrisley
Yes, a little orangey tan, but it was appropriate.
Aaron Chrisley
But Grayson, you look very, very put together in this.
Todd Chrisley
Grayson, you look. You make Bradley Cooper walk away.
Aaron Chrisley
So that's a 10. All right.
Todd Chrisley
Oh, that is a 25.
Grayson Chrisley
I'm going to go negative three.
Aaron Chrisley
This is Todd in a suit. It's a head shot.
Todd Chrisley
Yes, that's a tan. He said a 10. What'd you say?
Grayson Chrisley
Negative three. That's okay.
Todd Chrisley
Negative 10. Oh, my gosh. That's me when I was doing Shania Twain. Feel like a woman. That is a 15. What are you talking about? Look at my legs.
Aaron Chrisley
No, it's not a nice tan. Full leg shot for Todd.
Todd Chrisley
Yes.
Aaron Chrisley
And a top hat.
Todd Chrisley
Aaron had it. What? Would you rank that?
Chase Chrisley
That was too much.
Aaron Chrisley
I think that's an eight and a half at least.
Chase Chrisley
That was too much.
Aaron Chrisley
But there's some good ones coming. I see. I know all the pictures. I gotta save my scale.
Todd Chrisley
I think that's a 15. I liked. It was very sexual. I sexualized myself.
Grayson Chrisley
I'm gonna give that a two.
Todd Chrisley
Oh, that's a.
Grayson Chrisley
That's a one.
Todd Chrisley
I think somebody pranked me.
Aaron Chrisley
I have a feeling you didn't pick this out for yourself.
Todd Chrisley
I did not.
Grayson Chrisley
Definitely not. That is. That's a set thing.
Todd Chrisley
That is a. That's just sad.
Aaron Chrisley
This is from Chris Le Knows Best. It's like an all gold windbreaker jacket. It's just not Todd's best.
Todd Chrisley
No, it's not.
Grayson Chrisley
He was dressed like his Paycheck.
Aaron Chrisley
This was a more recent TV appearance
Todd Chrisley
that was on Mass Singer. Mass Singer? Yeah. I would put that as a four.
Grayson Chrisley
I thought y' all did good on that. Mama's funny as hell.
Aaron Chrisley
I just think this outfit makes your hips look wider than they are.
Todd Chrisley
Yes, because I'm tiny.
Aaron Chrisley
I know. So I think that's what kind of brought the score down. Now, this is for both of y'. All. I just want to.
Todd Chrisley
Mama hates this picture because she doesn't like us to have buzz cut.
Chase Chrisley
That was a bad look.
Aaron Chrisley
Yeah.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah.
Grayson Chrisley
That's a Britney moment.
Aaron Chrisley
Who. Who shaved their head first?
Todd Chrisley
I never got why I got talked into that.
Grayson Chrisley
No, I did it. And he wanted to be like me,
Todd Chrisley
so maybe that's what it was. I wanted to be like Chase. Chase, look how good you look there. Was that before drugs or. That's before.
Grayson Chrisley
That's during.
Todd Chrisley
Well, I need some just a taste of that right now. Now, y' all don't even. Don't even. You know that. That is a seven.
Aaron Chrisley
That's a set thing. Yeah, we threw some Chris Leno's best set things in here. Okay, now we're Back to the AC.
Todd Chrisley
I'm waiting.
Grayson Chrisley
That's a 10.
Todd Chrisley
That's a 10. That'S Tom Ford at the ACM Awards. Yeah, I'm. I'm not gonna lie. Y' all said it's a 10. Yeah, it's a 20.
Aaron Chrisley
Sequin, black. All black look. Sequin black blazer. Very chic.
Todd Chrisley
Yes.
Aaron Chrisley
Very red carpet.
Todd Chrisley
Yes. No. Yes.
Chase Chrisley
Pee Wee Herman.
Todd Chrisley
Not Pee Wee Herman. Never had hair like that. And look at my body. It was a tan.
Aaron Chrisley
Who dressed you?
Todd Chrisley
Huh?
Aaron Chrisley
Who dressed you? Did you dress yourself?
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, that's Ted Baker. I dressed myself for that. That's Ted Baker. Loved that. I think that's a. I think that's a nine.
Aaron Chrisley
Yeah, it's a preppy.
Grayson Chrisley
Yeah.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, I think that's a nine.
Aaron Chrisley
Preppy suit look. Yeah, let's do Chase.
Grayson Chrisley
No, we're good on me.
Todd Chrisley
No, it's not really get on yours.
Aaron Chrisley
It's not really fair.
Chase Chrisley
I love how you threw the picture into Mia Walka Flocka.
Aaron Chrisley
I had to get the trash stash in there.
Todd Chrisley
Oh, look at how precious Chase and Savannah are there.
Aaron Chrisley
Sweater, look. Holiday sweater.
Grayson Chrisley
The damn bowl cut. Why did you guys do that?
Todd Chrisley
That was the style. Then I had one, too.
Aaron Chrisley
Savannah does look like a little pigeon lady. Like feeding the pigeons.
Todd Chrisley
Yes, yes.
Aaron Chrisley
But, Chase, very cute look with you and sweater.
Todd Chrisley
I think yes.
Aaron Chrisley
Started out with.
Chase Chrisley
I've got some good one of Savannah.
Todd Chrisley
That's a tan.
Aaron Chrisley
Yeah, we can do that. I don't care.
Todd Chrisley
Chase, That's a tan tan.
Aaron Chrisley
Really great teeth. Always strong teeth from you.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, that's. That's a tan.
Grayson Chrisley
Can't even take credit for that.
Todd Chrisley
He looks so good there. That was at the. That was at the upfronts for the UN. Universal Studios. Yeah. 100% a 20.
Grayson Chrisley
Dude, I. I don't know what's going on. I'm getting flowers over here from.
Todd Chrisley
Look how good his hair was, his skin. I dressed him that day. He looks so good. Oh, I love that so much. That's when we lived in Westlake Village.
Aaron Chrisley
A little spiky hair moment.
Todd Chrisley
Savannah. I don't care. What. Nobody says Savannah look like Ivanka right there. My baby. She already had a mission.
Aaron Chrisley
Chase, that's a 10.
Todd Chrisley
100% tan.
Aaron Chrisley
That's a 10.
Todd Chrisley
100%. That's a 7.
Grayson Chrisley
That's a miri. That's a Miri. That's in a Mary shirt.
Todd Chrisley
I don't care. It looks like you stole it from some. Somebody in the 80s from a luau that they had.
Grayson Chrisley
Well, I didn't.
Todd Chrisley
That's a seven.
Aaron Chrisley
It's not a bad look. Could be better. Not bad.
Chase Chrisley
It's just a bad angle.
Grayson Chrisley
Thanks, Grayson, you street rat.
Todd Chrisley
I'm trying to help. That's a solid nine.
Grayson Chrisley
Thank you.
Todd Chrisley
That's a solid nine.
Aaron Chrisley
A crushed velvet blue.
Todd Chrisley
Yes.
Grayson Chrisley
I loved that.
Todd Chrisley
He looked good in that.
Chase Chrisley
I like that jacket.
Aaron Chrisley
Like carpet look.
Todd Chrisley
What is that look? Look how much y' all look alike in that picture.
Chase Chrisley
I ain't never taking a picture like that.
Todd Chrisley
Yes, you've had your hand exactly like that in pictures.
Aaron Chrisley
This is his version of lip smacking. This is your dad.
Chase Chrisley
I was, like, 16 before clav.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, that was clab. That's a clab moment.
Chase Chrisley
That was Clav before Cl.
Todd Chrisley
It's a clab moment. Oh, look at my baby. This was on outfits. I'm in.
Grayson Chrisley
I'm in full football gear.
Aaron Chrisley
I know.
Todd Chrisley
I just love it.
Aaron Chrisley
We're just trying to show you the different stages of.
Grayson Chrisley
You.
Todd Chrisley
You look precious, though.
Aaron Chrisley
Yeah, you do.
Todd Chrisley
That was.
Chase Chrisley
That's a cool.
Todd Chrisley
That's a good picture.
Chase Chrisley
Yeah, that's a cool picture.
Todd Chrisley
That's a good picture.
Aaron Chrisley
Where are you in that chase?
Grayson Chrisley
I was at the Venetian in Vegas.
Aaron Chrisley
It's definitely giving, like. You're in a group of five people.
Todd Chrisley
It's definitely giving, like, Bieber vibes.
Chase Chrisley
Yeah.
Todd Chrisley
Well, then, yeah, it's giving Bieber vibes. It looks good. I like that.
Aaron Chrisley
Okay, That's. It CC Chase. That wasn't that bad. Let's see. We've got a nanny and then we'll move on.
Chase Chrisley
Got some great ones of Savannah's just
Aaron Chrisley
all over the place here.
Grayson Chrisley
Nanny's got a 10.
Todd Chrisley
She.
Grayson Chrisley
She rocked that. I will never forget that.
Aaron Chrisley
She pulled that off.
Todd Chrisley
Well, nanny's pretty spirit and. What in the world. That's when she had Savannah to tan her. She looks like she's been dipped in, baby. Oh, my God.
Aaron Chrisley
That's not Amy's best.
Todd Chrisley
No. Look at my princess Savannah. She's always a hundred.
Grayson Chrisley
She just told me to go myself.
Todd Chrisley
Look at my little twins there. How cute. You know, Savannah had a bag in her hand then. She wasn't in. She wasn't even two. Well, this is before the show and before we met doctors. This is cute. That's a 6.
Grayson Chrisley
10.
Todd Chrisley
That's Julie. That's Julie honey when she was wearing them wings, look. Yeah, Julie, you.
Grayson Chrisley
I've never seen that.
Todd Chrisley
Love that. Oh, that's a tan.
Aaron Chrisley
That's cute.
Todd Chrisley
She loved GRA Chase H. I don't know what happened.
Aaron Chrisley
Yeah, she looks beautiful in that.
Todd Chrisley
That was our first season. Look at it. It's no wonder that Savannah got so pissy with the way I made her dress. Look at that.
Aaron Chrisley
That is a bump it Snooki level hair, right?
Todd Chrisley
Yes, yes. Look how beautiful Julie is there.
Chase Chrisley
How come you didn't put this one up?
Grayson Chrisley
Gray, you are.
Aaron Chrisley
I didn't have that one.
Grayson Chrisley
So cute, bro.
Aaron Chrisley
God, he was.
Todd Chrisley
Look at this.
Grayson Chrisley
You were so cute and you were funny because you would cuss. Oh, my God. It was hilarious.
Todd Chrisley
Grayson, you're so cute in that. I, you know, I would rate that season, the group photo for that season, a six. It wasn't my favorite. That was when Savannah was, you know, in that transition phase. What was that?
Grayson Chrisley
What? Who was that woman? Kate. What? John and Kate plus eight. What's her name?
Aaron Chrisley
Oh, she does kind of.
Todd Chrisley
She does look like Kate Gosling. Yeah, she. She. She reminds me of that movie when I was growing up. Oh. To Billy Joe where the girl cut all of her hair off. And as a kind of like you've
Grayson Chrisley
aged out of everyone here.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, it's a six.
Grayson Chrisley
I think it's a five.
Todd Chrisley
Okay. I'll even go with a five.
Aaron Chrisley
That's it.
Grayson Chrisley
Okay. I will say Grayson consistently shits on everyone.
Todd Chrisley
Yes, pretty much. Pretty much.
Aaron Chrisley
It's really impressive, Gray.
Grayson Chrisley
Thank you, Grayson. You won't remember this, but I remember one time when you were little. You're a baby, baby. And we were getting Savannah was trying to bathe you and she dropped you in the bathroom floor. You remember that?
Todd Chrisley
No, I don't.
Grayson Chrisley
You don't remember that she dropped you in the bathroom and it was high. I was like, well, we don't have a brother anymore. Cuz you were a newborn. And then I think I like fumbled you a little bit going down the stairs.
Todd Chrisley
You know, it's a wonder you're alive. Grayson.
Grayson Chrisley
Yeah. You just wiggled out of my arms and happen to fall down a couple stairs.
Todd Chrisley
Do you remember when you took when we threw you in the shower with Savannah for her to wash you and you came out, you said, daddy Sassy's pee pee fall off. What? He said her pee pee fell off because she didn't have one.
Grayson Chrisley
Oh.
Todd Chrisley
I said shut up and get in here, girls. Don't have one of those then. And every morning you don't remember how he'd get up and it'd be sticking straight out and he'd say, it's broken again. And I have to say, go pee.
Grayson Chrisley
Oh man, Gray, does it still get broken? Yeah, it's broken more than when he just wakes up.
Chase Chrisley
Broke off.
Todd Chrisley
Nevermind.
Grayson Chrisley
Never mind.
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Todd Chrisley
Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now?
Aaron Chrisley
Really?
Todd Chrisley
At a playground?
Aaron Chrisley
Yeah, really.
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Aaron Chrisley
Wow, your search can really get that specific. Really? And you just put in your info and boom. Cars in your budget. Mom needs a second. Honey, you can really have it delivered. Really? Or I can pick it up at the dealership. One sec, sweetie. Mommy's buying a car. I think your kid is walking up
Todd Chrisley
the slide, Kyle again.
Aaron Chrisley
Really? Auto trader buy your car online? Really?
Chase Chrisley
Speaking of stories, one time went to go visit dad and he goes, yeah, tried to get me to mow the grass. And I told him I didn't mow my own damn grass. What makes you think I'm a mow?
Todd Chrisley
Your crazy as. Does that tell you how the government works? They didn't do the research on the
Chase Chrisley
people that they hired the people to work for you.
Grayson Chrisley
Who, me?
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, that's what you do. And I mean you. To keep the system going.
Chase Chrisley
You asked him if you could hire people after you'd already did it.
Todd Chrisley
Well, I never asked for permission. I just did what I was going to do. When then if I got in trouble, I got in trouble. But I mean, I like, ask me to mow their yard.
Grayson Chrisley
You're gonna come mow my yard?
Todd Chrisley
No, I'm not. I don't mind my own. And I'm not gonna be. I'm not doing that. And I'm certainly not doing it for the federal government. I'm doing time, not chores.
Grayson Chrisley
That's fair.
Todd Chrisley
When he came out there and said, chrisley, would you like to. You have to have a job. Do you want to mow the lawn? I said, let me just stop you. That's the silliest thing I've ever heard of, because that's just. What are you talking about? And he said, well, you could just mow right here in front of the wardens. I said, stop, you're just being silly. That is not something that's real. And I says, and that's not something that's going to happen. So leave me alone. Go do your thing and I'm going to read.
Grayson Chrisley
Leave me alone.
Todd Chrisley
And so that was the end of it. So I never had to do that. I went to the chapel and watched movies and plotted their demise.
Grayson Chrisley
I bet you they wish that you would have been mowing that grass now.
Todd Chrisley
Never met me.
Grayson Chrisley
They wish they would have paid a
Chase Chrisley
lot more attention to him for sure.
Todd Chrisley
They used to walk by my office and they'd walk by acting like they was walking down the hallway and they'd go. I said, your eyes is going to get stuck. If you want to look. What's going on in here? Just turn around. What are you doing in here? Chrisley? On my phone, right? Chris Lee. I was sitting on it.
Chase Chrisley
There was one where I was waiting and visiting for him. And I heard him, he was walking down the little pathway. And the guy goes, where were you? And you said, I'm sorry. I was putting my phone away.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah. Because when I would say, don't tell me that. And see, you knew. When I told that guard, he said, why are you late? And I said, because I was putting my phone away. And he said, please don't tell me
Chase Chrisley
that some of them just wanted to stay out of it.
Todd Chrisley
Yes.
Grayson Chrisley
And they were like, well, Jack, just don't talk. I don't think that they should be busting people's balls. You got a cell phone. So you're talking to your family.
Todd Chrisley
Oh, right. Exactly.
Chase Chrisley
Do you like that guy?
Todd Chrisley
Who?
Chase Chrisley
The heavier set white guy. He was a little. He was nicer than he was bald. Or kind of bald.
Todd Chrisley
That rider.
Chase Chrisley
No, he has to be moved out.
Todd Chrisley
No, that was Ryder. Yeah. The one that told Chase, you touched that machine again, you're going to leave. You remember that? That. Because it was stealing the money from all those kids and you went to bump the machine to make the stuff
Grayson Chrisley
drop and it did.
Todd Chrisley
And he said, if you touch the machine again, you're leaving.
Grayson Chrisley
Yeah, that guy.
Todd Chrisley
No, they moved Ryder's fat ass out to facilities because he said he did not want to be in the. In visitation with me anymore because he didn't want to be on Savannah's podcast. No.
Chase Chrisley
At least he's a little smart.
Todd Chrisley
He was this. He really was the smarter of the dumbest ones. But if you're still in the group of dumbasses, you're just a smarter dumbass.
Grayson Chrisley
You know? What about that last time I visited?
Todd Chrisley
Oh, my gosh. I had wanted a new one with any balls. I had wanted a new pair of shoes because I was so bored with those damn shoes that I had. And so I said, sent to Chase. I said, can you get me these shoes? It was like four or five different pairs. And then he calls me and goes, dad, no one has these shoes. And I said, yes, they do. I've checked in Pensacola, and you have to go to this place. And then he comes four different places. He come and goes, they don't have them here. I said, then go to this place. It says here on their website, it says they have them. So I'm telling Chase which place to go to. Finally finds them. And I'm just going to give a shout out to Dick's, y'. All. Y' all hook me up. So Chase goes and gets my tennis shoes, and I got a picture that I was. Someone just sent me and said, look at our Gucci's, because now he's out with his Gucci's on, and. But it was our Adidas. And so we go in and Chase wears my new shoes in and wears my old ones out and I wear the new ones back in.
Grayson Chrisley
And I had. My pockets were full. Full of McDonald's.
Todd Chrisley
Yes. He brought my McDonald's that damn. We sat under the little thing and I ate. Yes. Yep.
Aaron Chrisley
Then check you.
Grayson Chrisley
I would have been.
Todd Chrisley
They would have rescued me after Savannah.
Grayson Chrisley
I brought mama. I snuck mama in some chick fil a chicken.
Todd Chrisley
She had a heart attack.
Grayson Chrisley
And my mom goes, get up and go and throw those away right now. Go throw them in the trash. I was like, mama, you already in jail.
Todd Chrisley
She said, I don't care, Chase. I'm not getting in trouble. Go throw them away now.
Grayson Chrisley
It's like you are. You're already in here.
Todd Chrisley
What more can happen? Please.
Grayson Chrisley
And then this one over here is chowing down on a damn egg McMuffin. Yeah, your egg McMuffin. Two of them.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah. I was good. I was good. So you brought in my tennis shoes.
Grayson Chrisley
I shouldn't have said that because I didn't get a damn pardon.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah,
Grayson Chrisley
and he's. He's a damn rat.
Todd Chrisley
You just told it on National.
Grayson Chrisley
I don't give a. Lock me up.
Todd Chrisley
That'd be a vacation. What else? I have so many stories. Like there's this one guard, Ms. Fair, and bless her heart, she was built like SpongeBob. And she would come in and she'll go, female on the floor. Female on the floor. And I would stick my head out my door and I'd go, that's debatable, Chris Lee. I'm not. You don't me. And she had walked by and she go, you don't want me coming in there, Chris Lee. I said, but I do. I've got a fresh BP8 for you. Roller eyes. And walk on about her business. Then you had what she. She thought. She really thought she was Lil Kim. This other one, she thought she was looking. She had to rat. Those heifers had the rattiest. All of their wigs look like something that you went to a Halloween store and bought. Like if you struck a lighter around them, those bitches hair is going to burn off. That would have won. She commission. Female on the flower. Female on the flower. Chrissy, you better be by your bed. That's all I would do. I go, she. And she'd come in. She'd can't. She go. I said it was not. No. Well, it's not. No, it's not. Chris, stop talking. You have a sheet that tells you what guys is in what room? It was a counting. No. What?
Grayson Chrisley
No.
Todd Chrisley
Nine to your mother. Yeah, it was only five. To show you how good it was, there was this one guy went to put the phones up and they. They came and did count early and he was in the attic hiding the phones and he didn't get down in time for count. And do you know that one of our guys jumped the wall into the other pod and saved him and saved his ass. Did the cat see how dumb she was that counted the same man twice? Look him.
Aaron Chrisley
How'd you get in the attic? Like, what's the attic like? I think people will be interested in that.
Todd Chrisley
Well, the attic in. In the dorm, you know, you have an attic. And that's where we would hide the phones. A lot of times if the staff wasn't hiding them for us because, like, I paid for, have mine put up. I paid a staff member $600 a month to hide my phone. But everyone else that didn't have a staff member to do it, then they would hide their phones in the rafters upstairs in the attic. And like, we'd hired our. We would hire, you know, hide our grill up there, our George Foreman grill, our irons, all that stuff we hid upstairs in the attic. And all that staff was too fat and lazy. They wouldn't. Climbing up in that little hole. Yeah, we had this little Hispanic guy, this little Mexican guy. He wasn't Julio. He wasn't. But I think he might have been 5ft tall and maybe weighed 90 pounds. He was like a spider.
Grayson Chrisley
He crawled up there.
Todd Chrisley
He could get into any spot. But his last was up in it, locked up in there when that count came too. And she counted that bed where his bed was, and there was a body in it. Went on about her business. Dumb. They just. Dumb. And I, being the kind of entrepreneur that I am, I seized on the fact that I was dealing with a bunch of dumb asses. So I realized that it was not going to be a whole lot of work here, so it was not going to be a heavy lift to outsmart these ass clowns.
Grayson Chrisley
You committed more crimes in there than you did.
Todd Chrisley
Yes, 100%. If you go. If you go to prison, you're not a criminal. When you leave, you will be because they will teach you. They will force you to do shit you shouldn't have to do. Like this one guy, it was the funniest shit. He came in, reminded me of something with your uncle. Do not talk about it. He came in and he had two bags of cheese for our quesadillas and these are like 10 pound bags of cheese, shredded cheese. And he had them taped to his leg and his sweatpants and they came and did that count? He wasn't able to get them off.
Chase Chrisley
It seems like that's a common idea, right?
Todd Chrisley
He wasn't able to get them out of his pants before the count started. And he stood there and. And we stood in front of him. I had one leg in front of his leg and then the other guy had a leg in front of it and so he was like stuck between us. Did that count? Right on out. He was sweating bullets over that.
Grayson Chrisley
Over some cheese?
Todd Chrisley
Yes, yes. And they would come in and do their little raids, you know, act like these are like rent a cops.
Grayson Chrisley
Like a mall cop?
Todd Chrisley
Yeah, a mall cops. More qualified. Like this one guy, Brian Church. You know what I hated? Had no ass. Was like somebody done hammered it out and then had this long mullet with his sundial tattoo behind his ear.
Chase Chrisley
Who were those brothers that were the
Todd Chrisley
ugly Ass plus brothers.
Chase Chrisley
They could turn a creek back if you.
Todd Chrisley
I'm trying my best to be nice, but that was ugly. That if I. I'm telling you right now, that mama, you know, she was pissed off her whole life to know that she didn't have one that was good looking. They were so ugly. But now in their defense, they never bothered me.
Grayson Chrisley
These were guards? Yeah.
Chase Chrisley
One of the guards, there was one guy, I think he was a newer guy, he was a black guy that worked at a desk at visiting. Young, younger guy, I think.
Grayson Chrisley
I know he wasn't bad.
Chase Chrisley
He was super nice.
Todd Chrisley
Oh yeah.
Chase Chrisley
I always walk. I'd always walk up there because we'd be on. Be there on a Saturday.
Todd Chrisley
Yeah.
Chase Chrisley
And I wanted to know the Alabama score. And I'd walk up there, he'd pull it up on his computer and tell me.
Grayson Chrisley
And that one. Yeah, that one that told me he was going to kick me out. He was a dick.
Todd Chrisley
Ryder. Yeah, Ryder. I.
Grayson Chrisley
Church was the real was. Who was the other one?
Todd Chrisley
Well, you had Church, you had Brundage, you had Greer, you had the Plews brothers. Adams. Adams was good.
Chase Chrisley
Who was the old.
Todd Chrisley
There was one misfire.
Chase Chrisley
Who's the old really nice lady?
Todd Chrisley
Which one?
Chase Chrisley
No, she talked to us all.
Todd Chrisley
Was not old. And she listens this podcast. Let her hear you saying she's old.
Chase Chrisley
I mean she's an older lady.
Todd Chrisley
Was she black or white?
Chase Chrisley
Black.
Todd Chrisley
Ms. Gamble?
Chase Chrisley
No, the one I met a bunch. She worked. She would be at the front sometimes.
Todd Chrisley
Miss, Miss Avant. Miss Avant. She don't mess with Nobody.
Chase Chrisley
She was cool.
Todd Chrisley
She had said, chrisley, what you up to? She reminded me of that movie, the Wayland Wall. What was that movie where the lady went and put the little notes in the wall. It's with Queen Latifahs in it. I don't know, Keeper Bees or something. Secret life of bees. Ms. Avant, she's the one who went to the Wailing Wall and put the notes in. She was the sweetest woman in the world. And then I did have some there that I like. I liked.
Grayson Chrisley
I was nervous almost every time I went in there because I had something on me that I was bringing to you.
Todd Chrisley
I had a lot. I did have several staff members there that I got along great with. I got along great with Taft, who was over wreck. He didn't screw with nobody. He wasn't trying to get nobody in trouble. Just do what you're supposed to do. And you were good. But then that old fat one that worked with him, who was a snitch, he ran back and said. He walked by my office one day and said I had a phone in my hand. I. I had a remote control. No, I'd already put the phone up. But I didn't like him. He drove that. When I tell you these people drove the most busted ass cars, I mean busted ass cars. And he drove this red piece of shit car and he'd come in every day like he had done. Had the weight of the world on him. Bitch, you don't do anything. You stay in your office the entire time and do nothing. How much easier of a job could you have? Yeah, but I liked Taft. I loved Chaplain Dixon and still do. She was one of the kindest people in the world. And I loved Ms. Gamble. Ms. Gamble made me laugh a lot. You know, she was. She was funny. I liked her. I didn't like that funky ass, nasty Shirley Bowie. Now, so when she came out in the news where she'd done pissed in a chair in a Mexican restaurant.
Grayson Chrisley
What?
Todd Chrisley
Clearly you don't watch my podcast.
Grayson Chrisley
I've got enough. I don't need to tune in again
Chase Chrisley
the podcast every day.
Grayson Chrisley
Ah, she pissed in a.
Todd Chrisley
She was drunk in Pensacola about three months ago and someone sent me the video of the body cam footage. The police got called, she was arrested. Shirley Bowie got arrested for slanging her stanky swamp infested cat in a Mexican restaurant and pierced in the middle. Got sat down in a chair in the office of the restaurant while the staff member was watching her do it and pissed.
Grayson Chrisley
She pissed on purpose.
Todd Chrisley
She didn't even Know where she. She went in the bathroom. That's how drunk she was.
Grayson Chrisley
Oh, shit.
Todd Chrisley
She tried to pass herself off as Mexican. Then when she realized she. That wasn't working, when that wasn't gonna work, she said she was from Hawaii. She lied to the police right there. That's grounds for termination. Lock her up.
Grayson Chrisley
Lock her up.
Todd Chrisley
Lock her up. Lock her up.
Grayson Chrisley
Make her sit in the hole, piss there.
Todd Chrisley
And you know, here's the thing about it. She used to come in our dorm and tear those pods apart. She mine. But little big fat Shirley Bowie brought her stanking self up in there smelling like pork rice. And now look where she is. Getting ready to be unemployed. If Shane already. And I am. I did. I do. I'm not going to lie. And I got to work on this because I don't consider myself to be a petty person.
Grayson Chrisley
Why?
Todd Chrisley
Wow. Wow what?
Chase Chrisley
I love you to death, but you are one.
Grayson Chrisley
You are one of the. The pettiest human beings I've ever met. You're. Oh my God. That's where I get it from.
Chase Chrisley
You are extremely. You just made a whole video talking about.
Grayson Chrisley
Talking about this, pissing herself.
Todd Chrisley
That's not petty. That's me being informative to the community.
Chase Chrisley
That's petty.
Grayson Chrisley
Dad. You. You are petty. You are next level petty, folks.
Todd Chrisley
I'm not petty.
Chase Chrisley
You've done all kinds of stuff.
Todd Chrisley
Well, folks, on that note, we have now shared some more prison stories, which I have many more of those. Are you petty?
Chase Chrisley
Yes.
Grayson Chrisley
Yes.
Todd Chrisley
I am not petty. I'm just not forgetful.
Grayson Chrisley
You're petty.
Todd Chrisley
I remember everything. Just like this podcast being over. Good luck and God bless.
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Host: Todd Chrisley
Guests: Chase Chrisley, Grayson Chrisley, Aaron Chrisley
Date: June 5, 2026
In this episode of Two Sons and Me, Todd Chrisley reunites with sons Chase and Grayson for an unfiltered family conversation packed with biting humor, playful accusations, and genuine insights into their dynamic. The trio digs into embarrassing family fashion moments, Todd’s latest TV projects and plans in Texas, plus inside stories from Todd’s time away ("prison stories"). They’re joined by Aaron Chrisley for a laugh-out-loud roast of the family’s most questionable outfit choices. As always, no one is safe from a sibling jab—or a dad’s sharp retort.
“It’s every part of Texas that I go to, it just gets better… just absolutely lovely manners. Yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, ma’am. No, ma’am. Talking to each other this way. And I was like, this is such a breath of fresh air.” (04:23)
“I was not gonna do any more television. I’m not doing television... But one of the shows that I’m doing is kind of like a throwback to The Simple Life. And pause.” (06:26)
“Trademark it. Send me the copy. I’m sending it to the attorneys.” (07:19)
Aaron Chrisley hosts a lighthearted segment where the family rates iconic (and questionable) Chrisley looks:
Todd shares unfiltered tales from his time away (“federal vacation”)—glimpses into rules, chaos, and subterfuge:
“Slanging her stanky swamp infested cat in a Mexican restaurant and pissed.” – Todd (44:23)
On Being the Star:
“Do you actually believe that you’re the star?” – Grayson (01:49)
“Do you believe that I’m not? It’s so sad.” – Todd (01:58)
On Family Traditions:
“I make you feel good. And I tell you a million times a day how much I love you.” – Todd (03:14)
On New Beginnings:
“I have officially found my spot, and I am very happy about it. I love it. And in the coming months, I’m sure that it’s going to leak out. But until then, I’m going to keep it private…” – Todd (05:39)
Fashion Shades:
“You look like Clavicular Clap. Just call him Clap. You look like Clav there, and Clab is a douche.” – Todd (14:45)
Sibling Rivalry:
“Pull the clip. Roll the clip. Trademark it. Send me the copy. I’m sending it to the attorneys.” – Grayson (07:19)
On Prison Chores:
"I'm not doing that. And I'm certainly not doing it for the federal government. I'm doing time, not chores." – Todd (29:13)
On Pettiness:
“I don’t consider myself to be a petty person.” – Todd (45:37)
“You are one of the pettiest human beings I’ve ever met…That's where I get it from.” – Grayson (45:47)
“Fashion Crimes and Family Secrets” is peak Chrisley—family jibes, a relentless roast of past wardrobe disasters, frank talk about Todd’s time away, and genuine moments of affection disguised as sarcasm. Every story serves up both honesty and humor, making it a can't-miss listen for fans and newcomers alike.