"I Don't Want a Pen Pal"

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "I Don't Want a Pen Pal"

Podcast: Two Sons and Me
Host: PodcastOne
Date: June 26, 2026

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Main Theme Overview

This episode dives into the unfiltered and hilarious, yet emotionally raw, dynamic between Todd Chrisley and sons Chase and Grayson, with Savannah occasionally joining the fray. The family plays raucous games—like “Which Kid Did It?”—with fabricated confessions, before pivoting to an extended, heartfelt, and confrontational conversation about family divisions, disappointment, reconciliation, and the longing for authentic connection. The episode is filled with biting wit, sibling jabs, and unexpectedly vulnerable admissions, giving listeners a comedic yet honest glimpse into the complexities of the Chrisley family post-reality TV.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Game Time: “Which Kid Did It?”

[01:47–11:51]

• The Setup: Savannah introduces a family game where Todd must guess which child committed various outrageous acts, ranging from getting so drunk they missed a flight to gaslighting someone after a car accident.
• Todd’s Guesses: Todd enthusiastically (and not always kindly) accuses various children, often defaulting to Savannah for dramatic offenses and Chase for mischievous ones.
• Revelation: Savannah reveals that all the stories were actually fake, to Todd’s mock relief.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Savannah: “None of those were supposed to be true. They were all supposed to be fake. That was the whole game.” [11:11]
    • Todd: "I take back that—well, no, I still raised some trashy kids but I am so relieved that that stuff is not true." [12:11]

2. Would You Rather… Family Style

[14:45–19:13]

• Todd asks a series of “Would You Rather” questions, including control over phone vs. bank account, reliving high school vs. restarting life at 30, browser history vs. text messages being read aloud, and having Todd or Savannah as a life coach.
• Candid and Sarcastic Responses: The siblings tease each other—especially over browser history and text messages, with Chase joking, “I have good taste in porn” [16:43]—and debate who’d make a better relationship picker.
• Theme: The segment provides a window into the family’s balance of humor and defensiveness, preventing real vulnerability (for now).

3. Fame vs. Anonymity and Parent-Child Dynamics

[17:14–23:22]

• Philosophical Humor: The family considers if being famous or rich but anonymous is preferable, highlighting how exposure has both benefited and complicated their lives.
• Parent-Child Power Dynamics:
  • Todd and Chase get into a playful, but pointed, back-and-forth about whether Todd is jealous, who is favored, and frustration with each other's personalities.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Chase: “Why does everyone else have to be on the same wavelength as you, Vladimir?... You're Russia. I'm Ukraine.” [20:05]

4. Raw Family Rift: Communication Breakdown

[22:27–42:15]

• Confrontation Comes to a Head:
  • Chase accuses Todd of going months without meaningful contact, emotionally recounting the exact date (April 10th) when conversations stopped.
  • Both tally receipts by scrolling through texts in real-time, each disputing who’s responsible for the distance.
  • Overlay of Humor and Hurt: Todd insists he’s not petty, recalling stories of pizza slices reheated in silence beside his son and choosing not to sit next to him at birthday dinners (“That's an ego thing” [31:30]).
• Emotional Outbursts:
  • Chase demands Todd return to being his friend, not just his dad or a “pen pal.”
  • Grayson offers a wry take—being impressed at Todd’s ability to go so long ignoring Chase, calling it “borderline impressive” [34:28].
  • Savannah, the peacemaker, notes “that's so sad” [37:49] as the depth of the divide becomes clear.
  • Notable Quotes:
    • Chase: “I want my old friend. I don't want a pen pal.” [38:48]
    • Todd: “No, that friendship is gone.” [42:13]

5. Public Vulnerability, Love, and the Struggle to Reconcile

[36:36–42:15]

• Chase Pleads for Change: He openly appeals for reconciliation, saying he doesn't feel loved, and voicing hurt over Todd's disappointment overshadowing affection.
• Todd’s Honesty: Todd doesn't deny disappointment but insists he still loves Chase:
  • Todd: “My disappointment does not mean that I don't love you.” [37:59]
• Cycle of Drama: Both recognize their shared responsibility (“You are the drama”—Chase and Todd, [36:43–36:44]), but neither can quite cross the gap.
• Deadline Ultimatum: Chase says the “invitation is expiring,” giving Todd an hour and five minutes to “be [his] friend again,” demonstrating painful sincerity amidst the comedy.
  • Chase: “Just let me take a couple minutes, maybe an hour. No more than that. Pray on it. And then if you want to be my friend again, real friend. The invitation is expiring…” [41:22]

6. Humor as a Defense Mechanism

[40:40–41:22]

• Stand-Up Comedy Suggestion: Todd suggests Chase channel his pain into stand-up, noting another friend's similar approach.
• Chase's Pushback: He acknowledges the humor, but wants to focus on the real relationship, not just material for the podcast.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Todd (sarcastic exasperation): “I have got the sorriest, trashiest youngins that has ever hit the [screen]... do not take parental advice from me...” [06:11]
• Chase (demonstrating tension): “No, you will. Cuz guess what? Then the tables are going to be turned and I'm not going to talk.” [40:10]
• Savannah (peacemaking, sighs): “That's so sad.” [37:49]

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Segment Timestamps

| Segment / Topic | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |--------------------------------------------------------|---------------------------| | Game: “Which Kid Did It?” | 01:47 – 11:51 | | Would You Rather (Chrisley Style) | 14:45 – 19:13 | | Fame vs. Anonymity, Parent-Child Power | 17:14 – 23:22 | | Family Rift Explodes: Communication Breakdown | 22:27 – 42:15 | | Final Confrontation: Friendship, Ultimatum, Sadness | 36:36 – 42:15 |

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Tone & Style

• Language: Candid, sharp, often self-deprecating and teasing, peppered with family in-jokes and Southern colloquialisms.
• Overall Experience:
  • Listeners are treated to both Chrisley-style banter (“Get back. I'm not trash.” [06:57]) and earnest, sometimes uncomfortable, transparency about real relationship struggles.
  • The episode straddles comedy and therapy, with the family’s codependency and stubborn pride as much on display as their love.
  • Savannah’s interjections often diffuse tension, but the central emotional arc is Todd and Chase wrestling—half-jokingly, half-desperately—with their inability to reconnect.

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Final Takeaway

This episode moves beyond reality TV spectacle, offering a surprisingly vulnerable portrait of a family in the midst of repair—or possibly, rupture. The laughter is real, but so are the wounds. The Chrisleys prove that “real conversations, the ones that happen after the cameras are supposed to be off,” are both painfully funny and achingly authentic. As Chase says pointedly, “I want my old friend. I don’t want a pen pal” [38:48]—and that’s a message as universal as it is personal.

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Chase]

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[Todd]

Welcome to Two Sons and Me. I'm Todd. I'm Savannah Grayson, and we're here today to do some kind of podcast that's going to have an event or something that my kids are doing that's a surprise or that I don't know about.

[Chase]

It's not a surprise. You just think that you know everything. And so we, Savannah, myself, and Grayson came up with a list of things that you definitely do not know about, and we're gonna educate you a little bit since you know everything.

[Grayson]

I thought we were finally having an intervention with him.

[Todd]

Y' all ain't got the backbone to intervene with me. Well, with that being said, folks, you know I don't like surprises, so.

[Savannah]

Oh, you're so this is called Witch Kid Did It. It's between Savannah, Grayson, and Chase. Todd, you're gonna guess as we go around and after they say it, but we're not telling you the answers till the end, so you're gonna have to sit with these egregious things your children did for the whole game until it's over, and then we'll tell you who did what.

[Todd]

And this is called which Kid Did It?

[Savannah]

It's called which Kid Did It. It's only between Chase, Savannah, and Grayson. Okay, but they're gonna read. They're each gonna read one. I'm randomly giving them one of the things that was said. They don't even know each other's and then y' all are gonna guess. Okay, so Grayson, you're first here. It comes to Your phone.

[Grayson]

Which one of us got so drunk they missed a flight and had to stay with an ax?

[Chase]

With an X? Here we go.

[Todd]

That would be Savannah.

[Savannah]

Wow. Wow.

[Chase]

Throwing shade at Savannah. She doesn't ever circle back.

[Savannah]

Wow.

[Grayson]

I wasn't expecting that. I thought he was about to hammer your ass.

[Chase]

Don't worry. It's coming.

[Savannah]

Your turn, Chase.

[Chase]

Which one of us lied about you being in the hospital to get out of a misdemeanor charge?

[Todd]

Savannah.

[Grayson]

Damn.

[Chase]

I don't like this. You can just dog me out. I can be the one that takes it.

[Todd]

I know Savannah did that with a speeding ticket.

[Chase]

That's not a misdemeanor.

[Todd]

It was with what she did.

[Grayson]

That is a misdemeanor.

[Todd]

And it was over in Gwinnett county because I had someone message me to ask me if I was okay.

[Grayson]

Mm. Wow. Which one of us accidentally sent a nude to the wrong person and ended up being a family friend of yours?

[Todd]

I pray to God it was you for the first time in my life. Yeah, because you were sending dick pics there for a while.

[Chase]

No, it wasn't.

[Todd]

So, yeah, it was you.

[Chase]

Me?

[Todd]

Yeah, Dirty Dave. It was you.

[Chase]

No, just. This is where the craziness in your brain. You want it to be me, but it.

[Todd]

Yeah. Okay, I haven't seen. Go ahead.

[Chase]

Which one of us got back with two X's at the same time and hid it from everyone?

[Todd]

Well, you do circle back. You circle back.

[Chase]

Not anymore.

[Todd]

Not anymore, but I'd say you. Okay, I'd say you.

[Chase]

Which one of us got back with two exes at the same time? You dating two people at the same time?

[Todd]

You're messy like that.

[Grayson]

Yeah, that does sound like something.

[Chase]

Me or Savannah?

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Grayson]

Okay, who got pulled over going143 and got out of it because of flirting?

[Todd]

Savannah.

[Grayson]

That one was obvious.

[Chase]

That was not Savannah.

[Todd]

It was. Was you flirting with the officer?

[Chase]

143?

[Grayson]

You got something to tell us?

[Chase]

I ain't going back.

[Grayson]

Okay, Chase, you ain't going back to your private room.

[Chase]

It was not a private room, Grayson. The bench was this big. I couldn't even lay down.

[Grayson]

Was anybody else in the room?

[Todd]

No.

[Chase]

No. Because they didn't want to put them in danger.

[Todd]

Oh, my God.

[Chase]

Which one of us got caught using your photo as their profile picture on a dating app?

[Todd]

I don't know.

[Chase]

Well, guess what. You still don't.

[Todd]

Grayson, did you do something?

[Chase]

Grayson. Don't tell him. We're gonna tell him at the end.

[Todd]

Probably you.

[Chase]

I'm better looking than you.

[Todd]

Why would I do that you use my name to get into doors right now.

[Chase]

I have never used your name.

[Todd]

Lies.

[Chase]

I don't have to, dad. It's my name, too.

[Todd]

No, it's not.

[Chase]

Do you have.

[Todd]

You're adopted.

[Chase]

I'm adopted. That makes sense. I'm the only healthy one. Shut up, bitch. All right, Gray,

[Grayson]

which one of us got lost at a theme park and had to be paged over the intercom and was making out with someone in the bathroom?

[Todd]

Why?

[Chase]

Why do you look at me?

[Todd]

I have got the sorriest, trashiest youngins that has ever hit the high that has literally ever hit the screen. Clearly do not take parental advice from me, because I have raised some of the biggest whores that this country has ever had. What was the question again?

[Grayson]

Which one of us got lost at a theme park and had to be paged over the intercom because they were making out with someone in a bathroom?

[Todd]

Well, it wouldn't have been you because we've never lost you, so it had been to one of your trashy ass siblings.

[Chase]

Oh, now we're trashy.

[Todd]

Yeah, y' all are trashy. You are food in the Burger King bathroom.

[Chase]

Dad, we've already been over this in previous episodes.

[Todd]

That's pretty trash.

[Chase]

We are trash.

[Todd]

Now y' all are trash.

[Chase]

No, you said. You said. I guess I'm trash.

[Todd]

Get back. I'm not trash.

[Chase]

Man, your word there. Which one of us lied about knowing how to drive a boat and took off the end of an entire dock that Savannah had to pay for?

[Todd]

Well, I would say if Savannah paid for it, she did it. Unless. No, never mind you, because she's covered for your ever forever, so. Yeah, Grayson did that.

[Grayson]

I haven't even been on a boat.

[Chase]

You're on a boat Two weeks ago.

[Grayson]

I didn't drive it. Which one of us got into a fender bender and gaslit the other person to thinking it was their fault?

[Chase]

That could have been any of us.

[Todd]

Yeah, to be honest, because all three of you are liars, so that could have absolutely been any of you.

[Chase]

But

[Todd]

Chase is good at gaslighting.

[Chase]

What?

[Todd]

Yes.

[Grayson]

Yes, you do have a skill with that. You can gaslight this.

[Todd]

Chase is a professional arsonist when it

[Chase]

comes to that arsonist that's setting fires, you dumbass.

[Grayson]

And that's what she's gaslighting, you idiot.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Gaslighting?

[Chase]

I don't have.

[Todd]

I guess you set every place on fire with your passive aggressiveness.

[Chase]

I'm not passive aggressive. That is you. God, Regina, you texted me the other

[Grayson]

day out of the blue and said what is your problem?

[Todd]

Gaslighting.

[Chase]

I was kidding, though.

[Todd]

Gaslighting.

[Chase]

That's not gaslighting.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Our history.

[Grayson]

When you get that text from, it's usually from him.

[Chase]

You don't answer the phone. So that's why I have to say that, to get a response. That's manipulation, not gaslighting.

[Todd]

What's the question again?

[Chase]

No, it said gaslighting. You said it could have been anyone. Defender Bender.

[Todd]

Yeah. Savannah's not really a big gaslighter, though. But in Savannah, a lie about a car. So that's why it makes it really up.

[Chase]

Lie about cars anymore. She's rich.

[Todd]

Give a damn. Let her tear own shit up.

[Chase]

She does.

[Grayson]

She doesn't. She don't care.

[Todd]

She literally just went and got that Ferrari and then sends me a picture the other day.

[Chase]

That was not her fault. That was not a pothole. That was a pot.

[Grayson]

You can't blame her for that.

[Todd]

She buys a black Ferrari and then I get a picture the other day. It's white now. She said it wrapped.

[Chase]

Yeah, and rims.

[Grayson]

It's sick. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure.

[Chase]

It's so sick.

[Todd]

Oh, God. Okay.

[Chase]

Okay.

[Todd]

Next.

[Grayson]

You just sound. Jealousy looks good on nobody because.

[Todd]

And I ain't never wore it.

[Grayson]

You wearing it right now.

[Chase]

Every day.

[Todd]

I've never been jealous of anyone in my life.

[Chase]

You're jealous of me.

[Todd]

That is a lot. That's a lie, dad.

[Chase]

You wish.

[Todd]

The devil is a lie.

[Chase]

Well, you are the devil.

[Todd]

Go ahead.

[Chase]

Say you're sorry.

[Todd]

No. Go ahead.

[Chase]

I will not. I will not move. It's my turn. It's my turn. And I'm not getting skipped over. I get skipped over at home. I get skipped over in life. This is my show.

[Grayson]

I wouldn't go that far.

[Chase]

Read the comments.

[Grayson]

Read the comments. You are a for the comments because

[Chase]

it's the only time they've been in my favor.

[Grayson]

That's the only time you get validation, isn't it?

[Chase]

That is.

[Todd]

And that's sad. I would hate to know.

[Chase]

I would hate to know that my

[Grayson]

validation comes from people I have never met before.

[Todd]

That you probably never will.

[Chase]

I'm to fly them all out because they love me more than you do.

[Todd]

So shut up.

[Chase]

But spirit's gone. So. Y' all ready?

[Grayson]

Yeah, let's go.

[Chase]

Which one of us got asked to be on the Bachelor or Bachelorette but quit and didn't tell you because they realized they already had banged the The Bachelor Bachelorette on the show? I already know who it is.

[Todd]

Well, that could be you are Savannah.

[Chase]

I am.

[Todd]

Shut up.

[Chase]

I'm born again.

[Todd]

Yeah, you might be born again today, but she wasn't born again.

[Chase]

Then which one of us got caught cheating by making out with someone and being seen on the Jumbotron at a professional sports game?

[Todd]

That have been you. Been you.

[Chase]

I did not do that.

[Todd]

That'd have been you. Cuz I know it wasn't my baby over here.

[Chase]

No, Greg Gray would never.

[Grayson]

No, you'd see it on Tik Tok if I did it.

[Todd]

There you go.

[Savannah]

Okay, Todd. So none of those were supposed to be true. They were all supposed to be fake. That was the whole game. I try to think of the craziest.

[Grayson]

Got out of a speeding ticket by Florida.

[Savannah]

She wasn't going 143.

[Grayson]

It was exactly 143. That was the exact speed.

[Savannah]

No way.

[Chase]

Yes, they said they were going.

[Todd]

She's going to Florida.

[Savannah]

Yes. I first had it as 157. I was like that's too crazy. And I changed it to 143.

[Grayson]

But I didn't know that she got caught going 143.

[Savannah]

So that must have been subconsciously lodged in my brain. But those were all supposed to be false.

[Todd]

So neither one of them. Somebody in a damn

[Chase]

bathroom? Yeah, no, I had done that.

[Savannah]

No, I made all those up. Those are all made up.

[Todd]

But oh thank God.

[Savannah]

I thought.

[Grayson]

Well hell, half of them turned out to be true.

[Todd]

So. No. You didn't tear up somebody's dock up?

[Grayson]

No.

[Todd]

And you didn't?

[Chase]

No.

[Todd]

So that was a lie.

[Savannah]

They were. Yeah, they were all lies.

[Chase]

Didn't we break your doc?

[Todd]

I don't remember. So.

[Chase]

So really none of that was true.

[Todd]

None of it was true. Oh thank God. Cuz I really. I take back that. Well, no, I still raised some trashy kids but I am so relieved that that stuff is not true.

[Chase]

In reality it's much worse. Oh my God.

[Todd]

You need to go on the Biggest Loser.

[Chase]

That's for fat people.

[Todd]

Not necessarily.

[Chase]

Oh, so now I'm a big. Now I'm a loser. He just called me a loser. All the people in the comments keep commenting. All the truth, say the truth. Stand with Chase.

[Grayson]

Start a movement.

[Chase]

I am starting a movement. Morgan and Morgan, we'll call you soon.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Chase]

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Chase]

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[Todd]

[e-mail] all right, so let me ask you a question. I want to ask both of you a question. You have to do one. So if you have to choose having me control your phone for a month or your bank account, do you make deposits?

[Grayson]

You do control my bank account. Or at least the one that you're on.

[Chase]

Are you going to make. Can you make deposits?

[Todd]

I'm controlling where the money is being spent.

[Grayson]

You do control my phone. Oh, he does control my bank account.

[Chase]

The ones I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go my bank account.

[Grayson]

The ones that.

[Todd]

Why would you go your bank account?

[Chase]

Because there's some things you just don't need to see.

[Todd]

Exactly. Okay. Would you rather be stranded with Nanny Faye or Savannah?

[Grayson]

Savannah.

[Chase]

Stranded. Like we have to like, like survive Savannah.

[Todd]

Would you rather relive high school or start over at the age of 30?

[Chase]

30? That's four days ago.

[Grayson]

That one didn't really work.

[Chase]

No, I've had a good. I had A good four days.

[Todd]

Would you rather relive high school or just start your life over at the age of 30?

[Chase]

He's not 30.

[Grayson]

I didn't really go to high school, so I can't really relive.

[Chase]

Would you rather. If you could go back to. If you could go back 20 years and know what you know now, would you do it?

[Grayson]

Yeah, I'd go back and I'd bet on every outcome of every game that I remember.

[Chase]

I would. Yeah, I would do bankruptcy.

[Todd]

Would you. Would you rather I have your browser history read aloud or your text messages?

[Chase]

You can read my browser history.

[Todd]

Okay, you can read mine.

[Chase]

I have good taste in porn.

[Grayson]

I have a girlfriend.

[Chase]

What

[Todd]

would you rather. Would you rather let Chase or Savannah pick your spouse?

[Chase]

Really?

[Grayson]

I feel like you would just go for the hottest one.

[Chase]

No, I'd go for the one that's going to treat you the best.

[Savannah]

You don't think so? That's gonna be a tough critic.

[Todd]

That's why he chose her. Yeah, that's why he chose her.

[Chase]

I would pick whoever's gonna make you happy is gray.

[Todd]

Would you rather be famous or anonymous forever?

[Chase]

Am I rich if I'm anonymous?

[Todd]

That's a question.

[Grayson]

That is a big factor.

[Chase]

Because when you're famous, you make money, but if.

[Todd]

Or if you're anonymous, you're making money.

[Chase]

Yeah, that's a big factor.

[Todd]

Like you're making money on both.

[Grayson]

Anonymous.

[Chase]

Okay, that's anger. So let's dial that back and enjoy the game. Okay. Live in the moment. Don't think about how frustrated you are with your entire life.

[Grayson]

But you got your anger out working out this morning? Clearly not.

[Todd]

I did. I'm not angry. Would you. Let's say, would you rather Chase.

[Chase]

We didn't answer the question, dad.

[Todd]

You said anonymous.

[Chase]

If I'm making money. Anonymous.

[Grayson]

Yeah, I said the same thing.

[Chase]

I don't know, but it's pretty good for dinner reservations.

[Grayson]

That is pretty good. You use that in Tuscaloosa?

[Todd]

I have an assistant in Tuscaloosa, my friend.

[Grayson]

This is assistant.

[Todd]

You're the one that brought him to me. Chase, would you rather be trapped in an elevator with me for 24 hours

[Chase]

or whatever the other thing is, or

[Grayson]

spend three days in solitary with him?

[Chase]

Three or three days in solitary with you? That's not solitary.

[Todd]

Would you rather be trapped in an elevator with me for 24 hours or spend three days in solitary?

[Chase]

I'm gonna say the elevator because I know how much you don't want. That.

[Grayson]

Does say spend three days in solitary with Cobb.

[Todd]

Would you rather have your mother read your text?

[Chase]

Whatever the other thing is.

[Grayson]

Yeah, that's easy.

[Todd]

Would you rather have your mother read your text on the podcast or have me read your search history on Instagram?

[Chase]

Search history on Instagram.

[Grayson]

Search history.

[Todd]

Okay, so y' all talking some on that phone?

[Chase]

No, it's not talking. No. Maybe some nasty stuff.

[Todd]

Would you rather have me as a life coach, slash, slash, mentor, or your sister Savannah?

[Chase]

You don't talk to me. My mentor's gone. My mentor abandoned me. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna go from experience. My mentor left me.

[Grayson]

No, no. You.

[Chase]

Oh, kiss some. A little more.

[Grayson]

He has more experience than Savannah. What do you think Savannah learns her from?

[Todd]

Right? Exactly. Thank you.

[Chase]

Can I, like, substitute, like, oh, no or something?

[Todd]

No, you cannot. You cannot. You cannot that.

[Chase]

If. If this was, like, six months ago, I would say you. But since you don't talk to me anymore, I'm gonna go sit with Savannah because Savannah's.

[Todd]

She's the only one talking to you right now. Yeah, yeah, okay. I get it. I get it.

[Chase]

And Grayson talks to me. Why does everyone else have to be on the same wavelength as you, Vladimir? Like, you're over here, like, just. Because, like, I'm sure not everyone in Russia hates Ukraine, but they have to because of him. You're Russia. I'm Ukraine. This is messed up. You can still be friends with me. We won't tell him.

[Todd]

Grayson, have I ever told you not to talk to your brother?

[Grayson]

No.

[Chase]

Oh, yeah.

[Todd]

Never in life would I do that.

[Chase]

I hope your shoelaces come untied every time you stand up.

[Todd]

Folks, this is literally a twisted show that you are tuning into, because the talent here, Slash, is twisted.

[Chase]

Slash. Did you, like, lose your train of thought?

[Todd]

You don't have another. I'm just, like, sure that it's talent.

[Chase]

Oh, really? Really? You built the whole career off my back. This is absolutely disgusting.

[Todd]

Would you. Let me ask you something.

[Grayson]

Why are you starting to slander me now?

[Todd]

Not you. You're my precious baby. Would you.

[Chase]

Come on. Spit it out.

[Todd]

Do you wish that you had listened to. Do you wish that you had engaged my services?

[Chase]

That sounds like a prostitute. Let's reword that.

[Todd]

Do you wish that you had listened to me much sooner in life than you did.

[Chase]

On certain things? Yeah, but I'm. I'm happy with the man I am today. But I wish I would have listened to you about the. About drinking, for sure.

[Todd]

Do you wish you had listened to me about the kind of people that you pursued to have in Your life. Friends, girlfriends, etc.

[Chase]

Yeah, I mean, I have some good friends, but there are some that were. That were shitty, that I've. Yeah, I should have listened to you. But see, this is just me and you. I'll admit whenever I'm. I'm wrong and I've made a mistake, but guess what I learned from my mistakes, and it's made me a better person. You, Holier than thou don't make any mistakes.

[Todd]

No, I've made plenty.

[Chase]

You making one right now?

[Todd]

No, I'm not.

[Chase]

Oh, you are, dad, because guess what? When I die, you will regret. You will regret. You're gonna be like, oh, my God, those three months. I didn't talk to him.

[Todd]

Three months.

[Grayson]

You sound.

[Savannah]

Four.

[Chase]

Sweet. It is not four weeks, dad. I'm the one traumatized. I have been keeping up with it. I know what I'm talking about. It has been.

[Grayson]

You sound just like him.

[Chase]

No, I will. I will kill you. Don't say that. Ever. That's not true. That's not true.

[Grayson]

You know how many times he has said, I could die tomorrow?

[Chase]

I. And he says that. But then. Oh, here. Three months later. 90 full days. Yeah, 94 days. Dad, I know the date. I know the date. I know the date. I'm gonna. I'm. You're about to make it mad. I'm gonna flip this whole set upside down. I'm telling you.

[Savannah]

Hold the receipt. Hold up.

[Todd]

A receipt. Where's your receipt? Where's your receipts?

[Chase]

Don't you worry, bitch. One second. Because one thing I have learned from my sister. I have receipts.

[Todd]

He's now scrolling to see when's the last time I text him. That's what he's doing. But since he was so sure it was 90 days.

[Chase]

Don't. Don't. Shut your mouth. Oh, God.

[Todd]

Oh, man. We're waiting.

[Chase]

I'm documenting.

[Todd]

You should have already had it documented

[Grayson]

if it was this dramatic.

[Chase]

It was April 10th.

[Todd]

April 10th.

[Savannah]

It's right in the middle of y'.

[Chase]

All.

[Todd]

It's April 10th, and it's now June.

[Savannah]

It's two months. You said one. They said three.

[Chase]

It's two months and some change. It feels like seven. We're gonna just call it what it is. Three.

[Grayson]

It's crazy math.

[Chase]

It's called trauma math. It's trauma math. Okay, two months. It's been two and a half months is what it's been.

[Todd]

It's not been two and a half months because it doesn't feel like that long to me.

[Chase]

Oh, well, that's another issue that you should go and see someone about. Because that's really wrong. Almost three months. Almost three months. It feels a lot longer. Almost three months. But when I die, I'm not finished.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Here we go.

[Chase]

When I die. Yes, when I die, you're gonna think back and be like, I cannot believe I let those three months go by and I could have. Something could have been different. He might have not died. And I hope you live with it forever.

[Todd]

Do you really believe your own shit?

[Chase]

This is facts. This is factual information.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Savannah]

My name is Shannon Maldonado. I'm the founder of Yaoi, a gift shop. From the lens of artists and handmade objects. I chose Shopify because when I was testing other platforms, it was definitely one of the most user friendly. It was important to me to think about where we would be in the future. All of the tools for reading your sales, like planning inventory, they're just right there on your dashboard. For anyone starting a small business, the biggest thing I can tell you it doesn't have to be perfect. Shopify can help you build upon it. Start your free trial on shopify.com this is a paid message from GoFundMe. Meet Juan Naula. When his son was hospitalized for a viral infection, Juan started a GoFundMe to pay for medical expenses.

[Chase]

It was 5k to pay the bill for my son and I need only 22 hours. It was amazing.

[Todd]

People really trust on GoFundMe.

[Savannah]

How did Juan raise $5,000 in less than a day? He posted a short video on GoFundMe telling his story in 30 seconds.

[Chase]

30 seconds. Be specific. Be quick and tell what are you going to be using the funds for? I was nervous to do it because it doesn't feel okay to ask money. But you shouldn't be nervous. Sometimes you just have to do it

[Todd]

and see the results.

[Chase]

We were able to save my son's Life thanks to gofundme that we still have my son with us.

[Savannah]

Start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com that's gofundme.com gofundme.com this message reflects one person's experience.

[Todd]

Let me ask you something. We're in the house, the same house every day.

[Chase]

That. Let me show. This is referring back to not being petty, not speaking to me off camera because I'm a workhorse. We were in the kitchen, and pizza. My mom ordered pizza. It was delivered instead of. Dad preheats the oven to warm it up. Instead of putting the whole pizza in there, dad opens this box, takes two pieces of pizza out, heats his pizza up, makes me wait to put my pizza in the oven when he could have heated the whole pizza up. And then not one word is spoken. We both stand at the. At the oven and eat our pizza 12 inches apart from each other. Not one word. But he's not petty.

[Todd]

I call that self control.

[Chase]

Really? I call it sociopathism, if that's a word.

[Todd]

First of all, the pizza did come. Did you put two pieces?

[Chase]

I did.

[Todd]

I did. Because no one was eating the entire pizza. Well, we didn't. I took out what I was gonna

[Chase]

eat, and I was standing in the kitchen.

[Todd]

Yeah.

[Chase]

So you were just gonna. So you need me.

[Todd]

You need Daddy. No, I don't need to eat up your pizza.

[Chase]

I'm saying it. Let's get an outside perspective. Is that petty? You knew he was gonna eat the pizza.

[Todd]

No, I didn't know anything.

[Chase]

You lying bitch.

[Todd]

He just said, I'm not talking to him. How would I know what he's doing

[Savannah]

unless y' all are aligned on the fact Sean and I are gonna. I'm not answering that. Unless y' all are aligned on what was happening.

[Chase]

Right hand to God.

[Todd]

Right?

[Chase]

This is my right hand. Right hand to God. We were in the kitchen, and my mom had ordered pizza. I opened the pizza box, and he proceeded to take two pieces out. And this is a. You massive oven. Can put anything in it. Two ovens.

[Savannah]

Why didn't you use the other one?

[Chase]

It was already preheated. Aaron, why are you asking so many questions?

[Savannah]

Okay, sorry.

[Chase]

And my dad goes and puts two pieces in there instead of heating up the whole pizza like a normal person.

[Todd]

Why would I heat the entire pizza if no one's eating the entire pizza?

[Chase]

Why. But why did you only put two pieces if I was standing there?

[Todd]

It's all I was eating.

[Chase]

I was standing there.

[Todd]

But I'm not talking to you.

[Chase]

So you proceeded just to heat up your pizza.

[Savannah]

And.

[Chase]

And then we.

[Savannah]

And then.

[Chase]

And then we proceeded to eat the pizza standing side by side and did not speak.

[Todd]

And I had a judgment call on that. I should have taken my pizza and went to another room. You should have. Yes, absolutely.

[Grayson]

I'm surprised he didn't go upstairs. That's what he usually does.

[Chase]

Not petty, though.

[Todd]

I'm not petty. I am not petty.

[Savannah]

Based on Todd's reaction, I would say he was at least entertained by what he was doing.

[Chase]

He was.

[Savannah]

I don't know about petty.

[Chase]

No, he was. It is petty. It's petty, but it was definitely entertaining towards me. And it's sadistic humor on his end.

[Todd]

Jace.

[Chase]

Oh, and then Grayson.

[Todd]

Here we go.

[Chase]

Oh, I got him. I got him. My. My clip is full, brother. I've been waiting for this moment. We're at Grayson's birthday dinner. Everyone's sitting down. I sit down, and there's a seat right next to me. And then there's a seat beside that seat that's open. So there's two seats open. And instead of my dad sitting beside me, he skips a seat, and he sits here. Empty seat. And then me.

[Todd]

Now, let me. That did happen. Okay, let me explain this. Grayson is sitting at the head of the table. Everyone else is on the side. I come in, and here's the seat at the other end of the table. But there's a. Why would I go sit beside you when I've got this whole end of the table for me to sit at? I've got Chloe here and you here.

[Chase]

Listen to me. We both know it was intentional.

[Todd]

It wasn't. Dad. My hand to God. My hand to God on everything I hold sacred. There was nothing intentional about it.

[Chase]

He just lost everything sacred.

[Todd]

I went to the end of the table where I always sit because my son, who was. It was his birthday.

[Chase]

That's an ego thing.

[Todd]

Was at the other end of the table.

[Grayson]

But every time he walks behind you, he goes.

[Todd]

I understand. Because he's a narcissist, that everything has to be about him.

[Chase]

I gotta wake myself up. Did you just say that I'm a narcissist. I'm a narcissist.

[Savannah]

This has gone to hell is busting

[Chase]

wide open, and it just got cold. If he's calling me a narcissist, y' all want to go skiing, go to hell now. Because dad froze it over.

[Todd]

I do not have any interaction with you.

[Chase]

That's a problem, brother. That is not okay. That's not okay. That's Petty. It is wasting precious time. What?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

That.

[Chase]

Grayson, you went up to him and you said, it's been two days that we'll never get back. It's been three months that we're never getting back. It's been two and a half months.

[Grayson]

Four weeks.

[Chase]

I have it documented.

[Savannah]

We.

[Chase]

It's two and a half months. Two and a half months.

[Todd]

But guess everybody.

[Savannah]

Two months and five days.

[Todd]

I'm gonna check that, though.

[Savannah]

Two months and five days.

[Todd]

I'm gonna check. I'm gonna check that. Oh. Oh, Chase.

[Chase]

I have my receipts, so bring them and be loaded.

[Todd]

I am. I'm bringing them Monday. I text with you.

[Chase]

No, I'm not saying. I'm talking about a conversation that we have.

[Todd]

How do you know? It was April 10th when we had the last conversation.

[Chase]

No, that's the day you stopped talking to me.

[Todd]

How do you know that?

[Chase]

Because that was the day that we had a conversation in person. Quite frankly, I think it was before then.

[Todd]

Oh, Here we go. May 21st. We're texting.

[Chase]

What are we texting? No, no, no. This is Come move the car.

[Todd]

This is Come move the car.

[Chase]

Stop making noise.

[Todd]

No.

[Chase]

You're out of my house.

[Todd]

That's a lie. You're an embarrassment. You sent you. That's a lie. He's lying. None of that was sad. You sent me a thing and said this podcast reached out to me and wants. And wants to interview me and you. Do you want to do it? I said, no, I'm not.

[Chase]

Okay.

[Todd]

Okay.

[Chase]

That's it.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

And then.

[Chase]

But what I'm saying is that since we've had a relationship not talking about work, and it's not. We don't even talk about work. Because it's a one word response. You know what I'm talking about. You're tiptoeing around it like a slimy bastard. You know what the deal is. And it's messed up. It's wrong. It's hurtful. It hurts my feelings. Everyone around our. It hurts their feelings too.

[Todd]

No one else's feelings.

[Grayson]

I don't think. I wouldn't say it hurts my feelings.

[Chase]

You're disappointed in him.

[Grayson]

Say that.

[Chase]

Yes, you are. And you're too old to be acting that way.

[Grayson]

Borderline impressive.

[Chase]

I. Because he's. Because he's gone so long. Don't mirror your behavior after this, you

[Grayson]

will become old and impressive that you can act like someone does not exist.

[Chase]

Thank you, Grayson. And that's not impressive. That's a sign of something's not right

[Grayson]

for a few days. It's like, okay, that's petty. After a little bit, it's like, damn, yeah. After three months, he's good at this.

[Chase]

And this is what's wrong is because Aaron. He's proud of it.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Aaron.

[Chase]

Do you think everyone knows.

[Savannah]

Here we go.

[Chase]

No, but that's the thing. I will call it out because I'm not afraid of you. Because I'm not afraid to die. Everyone else is. They fear you.

[Todd]

I'm not. Fears me.

[Chase]

Aaron. Just.

[Savannah]

I don't want to be on Todd's bad side.

[Chase]

Two sons and me. Not two sons. Me and Aaron. Aaron.

[Savannah]

I'd be happy to sit it out today.

[Todd]

It's two sons, me and Aaron.

[Savannah]

Yeah, it's. It's feeling that way.

[Chase]

She doesn't get to comment because you pay her.

[Todd]

That's not true. Aaron, do you have been in our family now how long?

[Savannah]

I've known Savannah for a decade.

[Todd]

Okay, so do you feel like. Well, let me ask you something. From the outside looking in, what is your perspective on whether or not I am dealt a lot of.

[Grayson]

I don't think you want her honest perspective.

[Savannah]

I dealt a lot of.

[Todd]

Yes,

[Savannah]

I think the whole family has dealt a lot of. You included.

[Todd]

But who is the one who is having to deal with the majority of cleaning this up?

[Chase]

You're not having to clean my up, dad. I'm doing it on my own.

[Savannah]

I'm not specifically talking about. So not specifically chasing, but just in general, I'd say you and Savannah have done the heaviest lifting of that.

[Todd]

Right.

[Chase]

And this is not. This is about one situation that you do not have to clean up.

[Todd]

I'm glad you. I'm glad. I'm glad we got this on tape.

[Chase]

Me too.

[Todd]

I'm so glad we got it on tape.

[Chase]

And it's just. Listen, you know what? This is going in another direction because he doesn't give a shit about me. And we're just going to end this podcast now. I'm not coming back until my dad apologizes and tells me that he loves me.

[Todd]

And I love you dearly with my heart and soul and. But I don't like the drama that surrounds.

[Chase]

There's no. Oh, you are drama.

[Todd]

You are the drama.

[Chase]

You are the drama.

[Todd]

I'm having no trouble with anyone. Trouble with you. We do not have any arguing because there's no communication.

[Chase]

That's not okay. We have a father and a son, and you and I were. You're like one of my best friends. That's. Oh, I can't say that. That's so fricked fricked that's fricked. That's so fricked. That's hurtful. It hurts my feelings. It hurts my soul. I don't like it.

[Todd]

And do you think my feelings in my soul have been hurt?

[Chase]

Nothing was done to you.

[Todd]

It was not intentionally. My child does something that I know is not going to be good.

[Chase]

Dad, you have done stuff that ended up being very, very not good.

[Todd]

No.

[Chase]

And I did not. I was like, man, you still my dog.

[Todd]

We have never put you in a position for anything.

[Chase]

You are not in a position right now. You are in zero position. You're just a bitter old bitch and I don't like it. And you should change and you should start being nice and be kind and be my friend again. Please.

[Todd]

I am not.

[Savannah]

That's so sad.

[Todd]

I am not bitter.

[Chase]

You are bitter.

[Todd]

I am not bitter. I am disappointed.

[Chase]

It's fine. You can get over that.

[Todd]

And I. My disappointment does not mean that I don't love you.

[Chase]

Well, I don't believe that. But I don't feel loved. I don't feel loved.

[Todd]

Listen, you may not feel it. If you don't feel it, that's. That's on you.

[Chase]

We'll give it back.

[Todd]

No. I do love you. And you know that.

[Chase]

That doesn't make me feel it. You can say anything. I can say. Say I'm a billionaire. I can say Elon Musk is my real dad. That doesn't make it true.

[Todd]

He is.

[Chase]

No. Well, you sure?

[Todd]

I'm positive. You need to go.

[Chase]

No. Listen. You and I both know what the truth is. Just change a little bit and you don't have to deal with anything. It's. Nothing's on you. No responsibility falls on you and. Just come back and be my friend.

[Todd]

I'm still your friend.

[Chase]

You're not my friend right now.

[Todd]

Still your friend. I can be a friend from a distance.

[Chase]

I don't want that kind of friend.

[Todd]

So now you're telling me you are custom or ordering a friendship?

[Chase]

No, I don't want a pen pal. I want the regular friend. I want. I want my old friend. I don't want a pen pal.

[Todd]

Listen.

[Chase]

No, I'm not. I'm done listening. I've listened enough and lack thereof because. No, you haven't spoken to me. Just. Just pray on it and think about it and then we can be friends again.

[Todd]

Listen, I'm always your friend.

[Chase]

Just. I'm not asking for. This is not uncomfortable.

[Todd]

I'm your dad and I will always be there for you. I will always be there.

[Chase]

I just need you to be my friend.

[Todd]

You just need to know I'm handling

[Chase]

my own shit, not how many. What? This is the, what, 19,000th time I've said this. You do not. No responsibility falls on you.

[Todd]

You and I, as long as we have a clear understanding that none of your stuff is coming around and. And messing up my stuff.

[Chase]

Why would I, any of my stuff mess your stuff up?

[Todd]

Because I already know what's gonna happen. You don't see it. I do.

[Chase]

Todd's a fortune.

[Todd]

I am clairvoyant when this. You know why I'm clairvoyant? Because I've lived life. I'm 58 years old.

[Chase]

Yeah, and the older you get, you know what you get to do. You can see the future. That's mind blowing.

[Todd]

You know why? Because I've lived it.

[Chase]

But I didn't turn out that way.

[Todd]

I've seen these train wrecks happen a million times.

[Chase]

Well, I'll prove you wrong. And when I do prove you wrong. Look, I understand.

[Todd]

If you prove me wrong, I still win.

[Chase]

No, but you're gonna lose in the long run because you're gonna. You have lost me by then.

[Todd]

No, I'm never going to lose you.

[Chase]

No, you will. Cuz guess what? Then the tables are going to be turned and I'm not going to talk.

[Grayson]

You say that, but on episode 257 of Two Sons and Me, you're going to be singing the same song, right?

[Chase]

Yeah, Grayson, because I'm persistent and I will stick with it until it changes. Cuz I don't quit. And you should take notes from that. Please change. Stop laughing.

[Savannah]

Sneak attack on fire today.

[Todd]

He's on fire today. I'm telling you, you need to do your own. Stand up. You need to do your own.

[Chase]

You know, listen, I'm not funny enough for. Stand up.

[Todd]

Our friend Shane McInally, your mom went to see him last night at Zany's. She went with Chad. And Shane has always been. I've always thought he was one of the funniest people in the world.

[Savannah]

And.

[Todd]

And his whole shtick is about his childhood and his mother.

[Chase]

So mine could be a lot of fatherhood trauma.

[Todd]

You could be about. Yes. And turn that into a comedy act. It could be therapeutic for you.

[Chase]

If I did that, then guess what? My neighbor like. And if it blew up, he'd be like, that's just because of me.

[Todd]

Well, it would be because I gave you the ammunition. I gave you the content.

[Chase]

That's not ammunition. It's abuse. Listen, I could. I'm not Talking about career paths right now. Just let me take a couple minutes, maybe an hour. No more than that. Pray on it. And then if you want to be my friend again, real friend. The invitation is expiring and I promise, I mean everyone thinks I'm joking. It will expire. But you have an hour, hour and five minutes. But that's it. Let me know.

[Todd]

I am your friend until the day I.

[Chase]

That's not. I want a good friend. I don't want a fair weather friend.

[Todd]

I will always be your friend.

[Chase]

A real friend. I don't want that. I don't want the friend.

[Todd]

I don't do fake. I don't sit up here and run a fakery bakery. I'm not friends with people just because they say I want.

[Chase]

This is not I don't want this friend. I want the. I want my real friend. My old friend.

[Todd]

No, that friendship is gone.

[Chase]

Because now we have nothing left to discuss. Thank you guys for your time.

[Todd]

Well folks, on that note, it's one son in me. Until next week.

[Savannah]

What is that?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh yeah, it's a World cup holder.

[Savannah]

Like the soccer tournament.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

World cup holder for the world Fits every car, holds every cup.

[Savannah]

It has a Carvana logo.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Carvana made it. They buy and sell cars, so they made a car cup holder.

[Savannah]

So.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Got any good cups lately?

[Chase]

I used to.

[Savannah]

Just couldn't figure out where in the world to put them.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

The World cup holder brought to you by Carvana. Proud sponsors of the World cup holder,

[Todd]

sign up today to win yours at

[Narrator/Advertiser]

cup-holder2026.com not authorized or endorsed by FIFA.

[Savannah]

Not a real product.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

For parody and various purposes only.

[Savannah]

What is that?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh yeah, it's a World cup holder

[Savannah]

like the soccer tournament.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

World cup holder for the world fits every car, holds every cup.

[Savannah]

It has a Carvana logo.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Carvana made it. They buy and sell cars, so they made a car cup holder.

[Savannah]

So.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Got any good cups lately?

[Savannah]

Used to. I just couldn't figure out where in the world to put them.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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