Can I Spend Valentine’s Day With My Situationship? (Lightning Round Special)

Summary

U Up? Podcast Summary

Episode: Can I Spend Valentine’s Day With My Situationship? (Lightning Round Special)
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: February 14, 2025

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Overview

This special Valentine’s Day episode of U Up? is lively, funny, and filled with candid reflections on the none-too-simple emotions and rules of Valentine’s Day in modern dating. Hosts Jordana and Jared, in true form, laugh through the ups and downs of relationships, situationships, office flirtations, and everything in between. The centerpiece is a “lightning round” of listener questions (“Bogo or No Go”)—real-life conundrums around dating, love, and what you “should” do on the most loaded romantic holiday of the year.

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Main Themes

• Navigating Valentine’s Day—single, dating, or in a ‘situationship’
• Who “owns” the holiday—Is it a couple’s, women’s, or everyone’s day?
• Honest advice on boundaries, expectations, and self-worth in relationships
• Empowerment to lean into your desires rather than dreading Valentine’s Day
• Real listener dilemmas and success stories

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rebranding Valentine’s Day (01:04–04:00)

• The hosts joke about Valentine's as "the most honest hookup night of the year," with Jared donned as Cupid.
• Jared: “What a rebrand of Valentine’s Day.” (02:14)
• Both express that while it may feel like a women’s/couple’s holiday, it’s tough for singles—often serving as an uncomfortable, reflective day.

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2. Is Valentine's Day a Gendered or Couple's Holiday? (02:39–06:25)

• Traditionally seen as a women's holiday, but Jordana and Jared push back. They say it’s a couple's/romantic-love holiday, not for singles.
• Jared on parents sending daughters flowers: “It sounds like sending flowers to a family who lost a loved one... It’s a Shiva call type of move.” (03:07)
• Single people (esp. men) don't typically feel “left out” unless their social circle makes them feel bad.

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3. Emotions and Expectations for Long-term vs. New Couples (06:25–08:15)

• “If you are a real long-term, long-standing couple, you don’t give a shit about Valentine’s Day.” – Jordana (06:25)
• New couples are more into the “fanfare”, with story of early excitement—flowers at work, cheesy gestures.

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4. Cooking for Valentine’s (07:11–12:32)

• Jordana and her boyfriend Mike are staying in this year for the first time—Mike cooking as a romantic gesture.
• Culinary family anecdotes (Jared’s grandfather the butcher, family dinners).
• “I think the acknowledgment, even if you’re in an older couple, just the like... even just saying Happy Valentine’s Day—isn’t that cute?” – Jared (06:36)

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5. Lightning Round: “Bogo or No Go” Sponsored by Shake Shack (17:18–43:30)

Situationship Dilemma (18:57–27:39)

• Listener in a new situationship, older woman/younger man; he seems hurt when she wants to keep it casual.
• “Once someone has said they want more, is it enjoyable to the person on the other end to keep hanging out?... There’s a tension.” – Jordana (21:30)
• “You’re getting what you want and they’re losing out on what they want. And that is seen as the more, you know, noble quest.” – Jared (22:23)
• Advice: If you know you’re not on the same page and the other person wants more, it’s mature to end things to prevent further hurt.

The Point of Situationships (23:23–24:53)

• Situationships are never intentional; one person always wants more. “No one goes looking for a situationship.” – Jordana
• They typically waste time and emotionally block you from finding the right match.

Age gap (24:55–27:05)

• Hosts’ take: If everyone’s consenting and legal, age gap is not an issue—unless it is for you. “You're so caught up in what other people think that you can't even enjoy your own life... When you find the right person, none of that will matter.” – Jared (25:39)
• Both stress honesty about what you truly want.

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Office Flirting (27:41–31:38)

• Listener wonders if her office rapport with a coworker could lead to dating.
• Advice: “Office relationships have to go very slowly. You have to bridge the office connection to the real world… Ask him to get drinks off-site and see if the vibe remains.” – Jared (29:49)

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Relationship Commitment Anxiety (31:52–35:16)

• Listener whose situationship turned official now worries “when is the other shoe going to drop?”
• “I think she is totally right to be on edge here.” – Jordana (32:41)
• Both advise: Go with it, but be honest about trust issues and communicate openly; “Lean into the relationship but say what you feel.”

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Listener Success Story (39:42–45:10)

• Touching letter from a listener who left a situationship after hearing the show’s advice, found her self-worth, and got engaged to a loving new partner.
• “We are our own best things, and working on ourselves makes us the best partner to someone else.” (Email, 43:15)
• Jared: “When you find the right person, none of that [social rules] will matter.”

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6. The Lightning Questions (46:26–70:44)

When to Acknowledge Valentine's Day (46:26–53:34)

• Acknowledging Valentine’s Day means a relationship is moving forward.
• “If you’re talking to someone, acknowledgment of the day means that you are in a stronger relationship than you were before Valentine’s Day.” – Jared (46:51)
• Non-acknowledgment or a text with no plan post-multiple dates = red flag.

Remote Valentine's Ideas (54:37–55:26)

• Sex toy with app, cooking same recipe, starting a movie at the same time—“No one has better ideas for a relationship than a single guy who’s never had to do any of it.” – Jared (55:34)

“Valentine’s Day is Everyday” Excuse (55:59–58:24)

• “This is the highest form of bullshittery.” – Jared (56:18)
• Be direct: “Part of a relationship is doing things for other people because it makes them happy.” – Jordana (58:07)

How to Ask to Spend Valentine’s Together (59:16–61:54)

• Go on offense: If you want something, ask for it directly. “If you don’t get what you want, there’s your argument.” – Jared (51:52)
• “If you’re waking up the morning of Valentine’s Day, it’s already over.” – Jared (62:18)

Is Valentine’s Just for Women? Should Men Expect Gifts? (62:32–64:08)

• “It’s a couple’s holiday... Men don’t expect gifts, but thoughtful gestures are nice.”

Lingerie—Yes or Gimmick? (64:23–66:09)

• Lingerie is always appreciated for the effort, especially in a longer-term relationship.

Not Into Valentine’s—How to Tell Your Partner? (66:04–67:20)

• Be honest about why, with vulnerability; it brings couples closer.

Giftless Boyfriend—Is it a Bad Sign? (67:21–68:08)

• Depends on expectations and context—if he knew you expected a gift and didn’t deliver, it’s not great.

Spending Valentine’s on Date #2 or Alone (68:22–70:15)

• It can be fun; just don’t overinterpret the meaning.
• “It’s the most honest hookup night of the year… If you’re out, everyone else at the bar is single.” (69:38–70:08)

Host Story: Jordana’s parents met at a Valentine’s party with different dates, but ended up together. (70:15–70:44)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “No one goes looking for a situationship.” – Jordana (23:40)
• “You’re getting what you want and they’re losing out on what they want. And that is seen as the more noble quest.” – Jared (22:23)
• “Make Valentine’s Day your friend, not your foe... It’s time to say ‘I want what I want’.” – Jared (51:07)
• “Feelings are valid. You want what you want; your needs are your needs.” – Jordana (52:03)
• “This is the most honest dating day. There is no day that you’re going to get an answer like Valentine’s Day.” – Jared (49:10)
• “All you’re doing is saying, I’m on this page. Today is a day where pages are announced.” – Jared (64:08)

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Segment Timestamps

• 01:04 – Rebranding Valentine’s Day, holiday framing
• 02:39 – Is Valentine’s for women or couples?
• 06:25 – Long-term couples vs. new couples and the Valentine’s effect
• 17:18 – Bogo or No Go: Lightning Round begins
• 18:57 – Should I call off a situationship if he wants more?
• 27:41 – Office crushes: how to move from chit chat to dating
• 31:52 – Relationship anxiety post-situationship
• 39:42 – Listener writes in with engagement story (success story)
• 46:26 – Lightning round of Valentine's FAQ
• 51:07 – Empowerment: making Valentine’s Day “your friend, not your foe”
• 64:23 – Is lingerie still “worth it” on Valentine’s?
• 70:15 – Going out alone or third date on Valentine’s

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Episode Tone & Language

Authentic, irreverent, comedic, and full of both empathy and straight-talk. The hosts are quick with a joke but also insist on emotional honesty and self-reflection, always reminding listeners to do what actually feels right for them, not what’s “expected.”

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Summary Takeaways

• Valentine’s Day exposes the realities and expectations in any romantic situation—use it to your benefit by asking for what you want and viewing it as a relationship stress-test.
• Situationships rarely work for both parties; self-awareness and kindness require knowing when to end them.
• There’s no universal timeline or standard for Valentine’s Day—communication and clarity are key.
• Self-worth and honesty are non-negotiable, and it’s okay to lean into your desires, even (especially!) on Valentine’s Day.

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Best for:
Whether single, dating, or “it’s complicated,” this episode offers laugh-out-loud moments, relatable confessions, and truly practical advice for surviving—and thriving—on Valentine’s Day.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Batches the most honest hookup night of the year. How about that?

[A]

I love it.

[B]

What a rebrand of Valentine's Day.

[A]

Hello and welcome back to the UF podcast special Valentine's Day episode. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[B]

And I am Jared Cupid Fried. Here to make all your love dreams come true. Ho ho ho. Merry Valentine's Day. Is that what. I don't even know if Cupid has a voice.

[A]

Cupid's a baby. You should get a diaper.

[B]

I would have worn a diaper. I wore my. My onesie. Here. I'm back in shorts.

[A]

Back in shorts.

[B]

For any of the women that enjoyed my my camel toe from dinner and a show. Yeah, from the earlier episode. How are you? What's going on Friday feels Happy Valentine's Day to you.

[A]

Valentine's Day. We are back with another Valentine's Day.

[B]

Listen, if you're listening to us, it may be someone was like, this will get you in a better mood. You know, I, I think this is like, if you're a listener of the podcast, what a perfect thing to send to your friend who's like upset on Valentine's Day. Maybe like is thinking about it. Maybe they're alone. Maybe they're wondering what's going on with their partner. This is A great episode to send them.

[A]

It is. And Jared, you know, send them the video because Jared is dressed like Cupid.

[B]

I'm in cupid attire. I got my bow and arrow.

[A]

Our office is decked out.

[B]

We are all decked out for Valentine's Day. We have a, we have a lightning round. We're going to do a bunch of lightning questions. I thought there was one that's like, fun for us to start out with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is this a female holiday?

[A]

Like, is it for women?

[B]

Is it for women?

[A]

Well, when you say that, it's like, would heterosexual men celebrate this holiday if it were up to them? Probably not. Maybe. Although I have to say, Mike likes Valentine's Day.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To me, it's not a gendered holiday. It's a couple's holiday. It's not for single people. Like, I think when, like, single people try to get involved with, like, the Galentine's Day, like, I get why that is a product of. Oh, my God, I'm not involved in the holiday.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like when moms send their daughters flowers on Valentine's Day. It's like, it sounds to me it's like sending flowers to, like, a family who lost a loved one. Like, it's like a Shiva call type of move. A little pity. It's like, we gotta cheer you up on the love day because you don't have anyone that loves you.

[A]

Someone loves you.

[B]

Right. I, I then like, I don't know, there's. There's other days. I understand. It's.

[A]

But I think it can be tough if you're single. And it's a day that makes that very clear. You know, you're at work. Are you getting flowers? No.

[B]

That's why it's a couple's holiday.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or thruffles or whatever you're doing. It's a, it's, it's am I in love with someone that's not my family?

[A]

Right Day. Is it romantic love?

[B]

Right. Am I. It's, it's, it's romantic day. It's. So we're, you know, us singles, us losers, us, us, us peasants, us ogres. Me on the outside looking the untouchables.

[A]

The unlovables as we coupled up call you.

[B]

Yeah, you the Unfuckables. Us, us losers who have nobody and sit alone in our studio apartment with one light bulb shining while we read pornos. That's what I do.

[A]

A hop, skip, and a jump away from being in the dome of the undatables on the Bachelor.

[B]

This is truly the day, as you call, where you feel that you are in the dome of the undatables. This is. Yes. I always refer to the live studio audience of the Bachelor as the most single people in America.

[A]

It's very funny. Did you have. Wait, but did. Is there any straight male feeling on Valentine's Day of being single? Of any kind of feeling of.

[B]

No. No, I don't think so. I've never had, like, oh, what about me?

[A]

You know, because it Also. Because it's so commercial. It's so inauthentic. Do you know.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You'd probably feel some more something strongly if you saw, like, a couple, like, you know, with the family or something. Like. I don't know.

[B]

Right. I. I guess. Yeah. No, this day doesn't hit me. It's only. I think it's worse when people, like, put it on you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like someone telling you that you should feel bad is worse, and then you have to, like, defend something that you're like, no, I'm fine. I'm totally good. I like being alone on Valentine's Day. No, I don't eat flowers. And it's like, look how defensive that sounds. You know?

[A]

Right. Someone feeling bad for you if he's worse than, like, whatever the actual issue might be.

[B]

You ever walk into a room and someone's like, you do you feel awkward? You okay? And you're like, I'm totally fine.

[A]

And then they're like, if you have an ex in the vicinity, are you okay?

[B]

Right. It's like, should I not. Should I be worse? You know? Do I give off the vibe of not?

[A]

Well, those people are projecting how they would feel right onto you. So.

[B]

Yeah, I guess so. And then. But then the more they say it to me, the more I'm like, maybe I'm. I'm giving off the. The pheromones of not. Okay.

[A]

You don't. You're not dressed like someone who feels triggered by Valentine's Day.

[B]

No, I'll say that. Jared C. Freed. Jared Cupid.

[A]

Cupid's kind of a cool name. It sucks that it's.

[B]

Could you name a kid.

[A]

You couldn't. You couldn't because of Cupid, but it is kind of a cool name.

[B]

Cupid Freed.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe. Only my dog, my future dog. That.

[B]

That's a good name for a dog.

[A]

That's kind of cute.

[B]

Qp.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, qp. Like Q letter. Q letter.

[B]

P. That's cute for Cupid. I don't know. Yeah. I think this is a couple's holiday. This is for the couples. Yeah, whatever. You're in.

[A]

But the irony of it is that if you are a real long term, long standing couple, you don't give a about Valentine's Day.

[B]

Right. Like, what are you doing? Mike likes it.

[A]

It's a new couple's holiday. It's in, like.

[B]

But I think the acknowledgment, even if you're in an older couple, like, just the, like, the. Even just saying happy Valentine's Day is like, for like, a couple that's been married 30 years, isn't that cute?

[A]

It's cute. You know, like, it's not, but it's cute. And then, like, that's it. And then, like, the day goes on.

[B]

Right? I. I don't know. Would like if. If the spouse was like, is that it? Like, it's a way to ruin the nice moment where I said, happy Valentine's Day, you know, I don't know.

[A]

Right. No, Mike does like Valentine's Day plans. This is the first year that we are. We're gonna cook. You're gonna stay in.

[B]

Stay in.

[A]

He finally feels secure enough in the relationship that he doesn't have to pay for about. He doesn't have to make the Valentine's Day reservation.

[B]

I just love this. This is romantic. Which of the five kitchens in your house will you use?

[A]

There's only one kitchen. He's gonna. He's gonna cook for me.

[B]

So he's. Is he a good cook?

[A]

He is. When he usually does not have time to, like, cook. So he hasn't cooked for me in, like a minute.

[B]

What's his go to dish?

[A]

I don't know. He usually tries, like, new stuff. He's very into, like, trying new recipes. He actually taught me when I met him. I had no idea how to cook. It's actually kind of a sneaky thing. I had no idea how to cook.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he, like, taught me how to make, like, three different things, and then he never cooked again. It was, like, very sneaky.

[B]

Remember these three things and then we'll. And then he's out. Yeah. Just. Yeah.

[A]

And then he's. And then he's been too busy to cook ever since. No, but he's. I don't know what he's gonna make, I guess. Well, I'll let you know on the next episode.

[B]

Here's what I would think. You got to keep it light, but you got to be delicious. Right. If I'm thinking of the perfect thing to cook for your meal.

[A]

Yeah. If it's a romantic night.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It can't be, like, heavy.

[B]

Can't be Heavy. Can't be a lot of carbs. Even though it's cold times. You know, it's like the season calls for carbs.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Got to have like a red wine thing going on.

[A]

Definitely red wine.

[B]

I. The way I would play it, I'd get on the grill. That would be my. I would grill steak or steak or chicken, something like. Because I think grilling just has lightness to it.

[A]

Yeah. Do you cook?

[B]

I do like to cook. I. All the men in my family seemingly.

[A]

Cook, but not the women.

[B]

My gray, My grandfather was a butcher and he used to make do all the holidays.

[A]

A. But a butcher.

[B]

A butcher. Yeah, he's a big.

[A]

A butcher.

[B]

He was the original.

[A]

Like had a butcher shop.

[B]

No, I think he was a butcher before getting into like, you know, other businesses. But he was. I don't know very much about the past. Yeah, I mean there's some element of that. So he. But during the holidays, my grandfather cooked all the holidays, all of them. And my grandmother was like a loud sous chef. Just like we have a memory. My dad had a heart attack when he was 40. So we, my brother and I were sent to my grandparents house to like spend the night. Like.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Which wasn't a normal thing in our house.

[A]

You're 13 at this time as they're discussed last time, right?

[B]

Yes. My brother's, you know, nine. And I'll never forget it. They made turkey. My grandfather made. He like would. He would like take chances. Like he was like do different things and he made turkey pastrami. Oh, is something he made or something like that. It was turkey pastrami and he made it. And I just remember like my dad just like I think he's sick. Something's going on like you don't really know. And then you're just sitting at. I remember we're sitting at the dining room table with my grandmother and she's going, and. And they're discussing whether they like the turkey pastrami or not. Like he made it. Now they're like discussing the two of them, the two of them, whether it was. He did a good job. And I'll never forget it. You're like sitting there like, what am I doing here? We're staying here tonight. Something must be really going wrong. But my grandparents didn't seem to like be too stressed out because they're just going across the table.

[A]

My grandmother going, your dad's parents?

[B]

My dad's parents. My grandmother who like is a car, was a character in her own right. She's going, it's Salty. And then my grandfather going back and going, it's peppery, it's salty, it's peppery. And they spent like an hour fighting over whether it was salty or peppery.

[A]

And do they think it was bad or good?

[B]

They.

[A]

These are the kind. Your grandparents at that point are probably married 40 years, right?

[B]

Everything was bad.

[A]

What else? But also, what else are they gonna talk about?

[B]

Right? This is what we were talking about. Their son's almost dead. Okay.

[A]

I guess they can talk about that.

[B]

Whether it's salty or peppery. And I remember sitting there like, what are these people? They, like, nothing was right, you know, like, it was always a fight. But my gr. And then my dad growing up was like, my mom would, like, cook inside stuff. My dad would grill. But, like, there was always a discussion, what are we doing for dinner? Like, but my dad was involved in cooking dinner. And like, I.

[A]

The whole family together around the table, always.

[B]

Oh, that's cute. No TV on. Not allowed.

[A]

Wow. And you ask each other about your day and.

[B]

Yeah, that was like.

[A]

Grew up in, like, Mayberry. Leave it to Beaver.

[B]

Yeah, it's a total Leave it to Beaver house. No, we ate dinner together probably more nights than not.

[A]

Yeah, that's nice.

[B]

But it was like all normally grilling stuff, the, you know, baked Mac and cheese type of.

[A]

Do they cook now? When you go to Boca, they like cooking for you.

[B]

Some nights they have a friend who's like. They have this old man who's like in his 80s who they've taken in as like a pet. So he comes up like this. I'm not even.

[A]

Does he work there?

[B]

No, he lives in the community. And it's like, my dad's good friend and he, like, hangs out with them and they. Every Tuesday night he comes over.

[A]

Really? It's like college.

[B]

Yeah, their community is very college, like, and. Yeah, so they cook now, but the food they make now, like, it's just this, like, buffet of leftovers that they're reheating.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They've lost their way. But.

[A]

Well, now they're back at the dorms. They're probably. Makes sense. This is their. This is their. What's it? Food.

[B]

Was it the food hall?

[A]

Food hall? Is that what you'd go to in college?

[B]

Right, the buffet? So, no, I like the feeling of cooking. I think it's meditative, but it's just.

[A]

You have all those cutting boards.

[B]

I have a lot of.

[A]

But you buy them. But you buy the pre cut onions.

[B]

That's right. So, yeah, I think that's a nice thing. That he's cooking for you.

[A]

Yeah, I'm excited about it. It's nice. We're officially back in.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But, yeah, but, yeah, it was definitely, like, when we first started dating, it was like, oh, my God. God, I have a Valentine this year.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, what is he going to. You know, he's going to, like, send me flowers at work and do all that cute, cheesy. You're, like, very. I was very excited about Valentine's Day.

[B]

Right. It goes into this, like, you know, we talk a little. Well, and also, like, women want to be pursued. You know, this is like, I get to finally be the main character. You know, main character energy is, like, stuff women say to each other. You know, like, you are the main character when you have a valentine to say. You get someone that is thinking of you and preparing something for you. And that all seems fun and nice.

[A]

Yeah. No, it's funny. I actually came when we were unpacking. I came across. I. Because I saved the. The card from the Valentine's Day flowers he sent me on our first Valentine's Day. And the card said, I listened to this podcast where they said that flowers for women on Valentine's day is equivalent to a male blowjob. And that was what it said on the thing. And it says, like, see you later, Mike.

[B]

Is that from our podcast?

[A]

Yes, our podcast. Our podcast. That's what we had talked about that for. About.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, we had talked.

[B]

We said. We said some crazy shit.

[A]

Our first Valentine's Day episode. Probably.

[B]

Yeah. Probably. That's so funny. Yeah. And now I'll be in the tree outside of your eighth kitchen.

[A]

Can't wait. Ready to get us?

[B]

Shoot you with the arrow if I'm Mike, I'm making grilled chicken, a salad, and then the side is going to be like. I would do, like, spaghetti squash.

[A]

That sounds very healthy.

[B]

Yeah, I would keep it healthy. You want to keep it light. But then it has to have one thing of indulgence because you don't want to act like you're, like, trying to get your partner in shape.

[A]

Maybe.

[B]

Hey, fatty, eat this. You know? Right. I would have a cookie, a dessert.

[A]

Something a little bit inside of macaroni.

[B]

Right. A little, you know, maybe a. Yeah, a pasta of some sort. You could do that. I don't know.

[A]

Text them the menu that you're looking for.

[B]

You know that rush you get when you find something cute and it's on sale? That's the thrill of the deal. And Rakuten takes it to another level.

[A]

We love Rakuten I am a huge Rakuten user.

[B]

You're a user.

[A]

I have the widgets, I have the app. I don't buy anything without checking if the store is on Rakuten first. And I'm making sure I'm getting my cash back. You know I love a deal.

[B]

You do love a deal. Way more than me. You're. You're a deal hunter.

[A]

Bargain hunter.

[B]

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[A]

Some of that's mine.

[B]

Stack those sal, get that cash back and enjoy being the person in the group chat who always knows the best deal. Download the free Rakuten app or go to rakuten.com to start saving today. That's R A K U-T-E-N rakuten.com this.

[A]

Episode is sponsored by Instacart. We've all been there. You finally get to your vacation spot after a long travel day. You're tired. You're ready to wind down and realize you forgot something important. Maybe a toothbrush, maybe a skincare product, or even a pair of shoes. Instead of wasting your precious vacation time running errands, you can have Instacart help deliver whatever you need right to you. And when the vacation's over and you're heading back to reality, set yourself up with a full fridge of groceries so you can ease back into your routine. From meal prepping to restocking pantry staples, Instacart helps you get all the essentials you need, no matter where you are. Truly, the convenience cannot be beat. With just a few taps, you can shop your favorite stores and get fresh groceries or household essentials delivered in as fast as 30 minutes. Or if you're out and about, you can have them ready for pickup. Instacart helps to deliver, so you can handle everything else. Just order online or via the easy to use app. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app and use code UAP Pod20 to get $20 off your first order of $80 or more. That's code UUPPOD20 to get $20 off your 1st order of $80 or more. Offer valid for a limited time. Excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply.

[B]

All right, let's play some games. We have Valentine's Day and we are sponsored by Shake Shack. We love Shake Shack, don't we Love Shake Shack. What a great Valentine's Day sponsor presenter this is. We. What's not to like? That's when you you're having a good day. If you're having Shake Shack.

[A]

Seriously, you can't go wrong.

[B]

What Valentine's Day? Without a little label confusion. When you're in the throes of a situationship, it can be tough to make the right call. Do you move forward or do you cut your losses? Lucky for you, we've got opinions.

[A]

We do.

[B]

No matter if it's love a situationship or good company, Shake Shack has you cover this V Day weekend with their Bogo Smoke Shack promo. We love a Bogo that's double the smoky bacon, spicy cherry peppers, and shack sauce. Whether you're sharing it with someone special or. Or just securing leftovers for future you, which I believe is a smart move.

[A]

Very.

[B]

We're going to do a segment called Bogo or Noo where we help you figure out if your situationship is worth sticking around for or if it's time to walk away. The decision is simple. If it's a Bogo, you're splitting a great deal and having a great time. And if it's a no go, well, at least you don't have to share. So that's the game we're playing. Bogo or noo.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You have the situation, something comes up, you decide whether it is a bogo, you're gonna get the Shake Shack, buy one, get one, deal with them, or it's a no go. We're out of here.

[A]

I'm having a fry you gotta have. These are really good.

[B]

They're very good. We love a Shake Shack fry. Love a Kringle Cut.

[A]

I can't even wait.

[B]

Right. Okay, so want me to go into it?

[A]

Yeah. You want to read our first one?

[B]

J and J. I'm a relatively new listener, but I've been seriously binging, so I feel like I've been a long time listener. I'm writing in about a situationship that I'm currently in. I'm 35, straight, female, divorce, single, dating, and intentionally looking for the one wow. Well, they're doing it all.

[A]

Seriously, They've got it all.

[B]

All while binging our show. Which is ironic since I'm writing in about a situationship, which is the opposite of dating intentionally to find the one quote, unquote, self.

[A]

Aware.

[B]

I don't always make the best decisions. Who does? But I am self aware. Lol.

[A]

Called it. Look at me.

[B]

I've been on the apps and actively dating for about a year and a half, and I've been in a couple situationships where I was the one that wanted more. But the last two situationships I have been in, I have been the one who has been wanting to keep it casual. Oh, how the tables have turned. It definitely feels better to be on the side of wanting to keep things casual. My current situation chip started about three weeks ago. We matched on Bumble. He's 29. I'm 35. To me, that's a big age gap. So off the bat, I kind of figured it would be casual. I really shouldn't be pursuing casual connections in the first place since I'm looking for the one quote unquote. But I was bored and he was cute. We started texting and the connection was easy and fun. We went on our first date, had dinner, then drinks to follow. Then I invited him over and we hooked up at my place. He spent the night and we hooked up in the morning again. He left to golf for the day, then came over that evening to watch football. Okay, that's a big day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I went to dinner with friends this past Friday night, and after dinner, he had texted me seeing if I wanted to hang out. I said sure. So I picked him up. We came back to my house and basically hung out from Friday evening until Sunday morning. I know, not casual. He spent the night at my house on Friday and Saturday nights, and we spent the day together on Saturday, including going to lunch. While he said he was cool with casual, I still get the sense he wants more. He mentioned when we were hanging out that our age gap isn't a big difference. He made a point to split the bill at lunch in a way that almost felt vindictive or mean. This took a turn.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What happened? Seriously, Like, I'm not paying for you since you don't want to be my girlfriend type energy, that is.

[A]

I see what that.

[B]

Okay, yeah, I see what you mean. I get that vibe. Okay. Kind of out of left field, though. Like, lunch is your big line in the sand.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't mind splitting the bill, but there was some sass with the way he approached it. He also mentioned that if things were different, I. E. We were closer in age, we would be make a great couple. He texted on Monday.

[A]

Mark 24.

[B]

Right. What's wrong with him?

[A]

Jessica 34.

[B]

Yeah, he texted on Monday and said he had a great weekend with me and really enjoyed spending time with me. My questions are, once you tell someone you want to keep it casual, are you off the hook if they catch feelings and get attached and ultimately end up hurt, is it responsibility to cut things off? If I can tell deep down the other person wants something more?

[A]

I think we should do these one by one.

[B]

Let's do it one by one.

[A]

Okay, here's the thing. I don't think you're necessarily off the hook if they catch feelings, but I don't really see. I feel like it's not as fun.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Once someone has said that they want more, like is it enjoyable to the person on the other end to keep hanging out with someone who they. There's like a tension because the other person wants more.

[B]

Right. You don't want to hang out with someone you know you're disappointing and then. Then they're kind of letting you know that by being like, well, split the bill. If you were my girlfriend, maybe things would be. Yeah.

[A]

Feeling in the air. That doesn't sound fun to me.

[B]

No. And it's like you're also in a punch up, punch down situation because you're the ones not catching feelings and they are. It is kind of seen as you are the one taking advantage of someone.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You're getting what you want and they're losing out on what they want because they want love. And that is seen as the more, you know, noble quest. Right. Your quest is. Is lust and sin and disgusting. Fraudulent.

[A]

Right. So I would say, is it her responsibility to. Yeah, yeah, I think a little bit. I think, as if you're a mature, nice person, you should probably stop seeing someone who's made it very clear that they want more than you're able to give them.

[B]

I think responsibility is the wrong word. How. How good do you feel being with someone who is made angry by you giving. By your actions.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like I would feel badly and maybe I make the mistake once. But I think what makes you a good person is to say, no, I'm actively hurting someone when they don't really have control over their best interest.

[A]

Totally agree. So, all right, let's go on. Move on to two.

[B]

What even is the point of a situationship? Now we're getting meta existential. Yeah. While it's fun to have someone to hook up with and hang out with. Do you think a situationship just wastes time and blocks you from finding the right match?

[A]

I mean, yeah, situationship is by its nature a kind of a toxic thing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

No one goes. No one goes looking for a situationship. I don't think that's anyone is ever like on the quest to find that.

[B]

That's why it's called a situationship. It's a situation you've ended up in.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, like that's the situation. You didn't. Yeah. You didn't try to have that happen. I think two people can be casual each other if they're being open and honest that they don't want this to be more. And what does casual mean to them? I think you have to have the same definitions.

[A]

That's not the same thing as a situation.

[B]

Not the same thing. Those are two people on the same page. Situationship is one person wanting one thing and another person wanting just below that thing.

[A]

Right. So the point is there is no, there is no positive point of a situationship. It's one person getting just enough to keep them kind of like hanging along and the other person getting sexual.

[B]

Right. And. And here's the other thing about an attention. Well, a sex and attention, but also a situationship start, you know, when it starts as something, hey, we're just two people having fun. That's a moving thing, right? She's like, how responsible am I? If they caught feelings? That's how it goes. Time moves on. Someone goes, what am I doing here? Do I want more with this person? I do like my time with them. Why wouldn't I want more? And then they go, hey, do you want more? And you go, oh shit. Yeah, now things have changed. It's a moving goalpost, right.

[A]

That inevitably happens with all things.

[B]

Once more, what are your thoughts on a six to seven year age gap girl? Older guy, Younger. To me, my concern is my fertility. No, I haven't frozen my eggs. Wanting a guy who is further along in their career slash, more financially stable and not wanting to age faster physically than the guy. I know this is one is vain. No, it's fine. I know I shouldn't be in the situationship batch.

[A]

What are my thoughts on it? I think if it works for both people and everyone's of legal age, right? Most importantly, yeah, most importantly, everyone's legal consenting adult. I don't think. I'm not against them by nature. It sounds like it doesn't work for her, which is Fine. Like, I also think it's okay to say I'm not really looking to date someone six or seven years younger or older than me, whatever it is.

[B]

Can I give some advice to this person that wrote in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who I like. I think they're a good person.

[A]

I think that's why she wrote in.

[B]

They're aware, I would say, they are so caught up in what other people think that they can't even enjoy their own lives. They're so caught up on what are the rules and what have what. And it's like, okay, you know, you're apologizing for saying I don't want to age physically more than the person. Why are you apologizing? I don't think it's vain. That's you. That's who you are. And when every, when you find the right person, none of that will matter. You're going to go age whatever, you know for you. Right. If you let go of like, you know, you say the one. I should be looking for the one. Well, maybe you got to have this situation shipped so that you could get to the next situation. I just think like when you put the one in quotes and you're caught up on this like socially acceptable way of thinking. Right. And I think you have to be more okay with like the feelings you have, whether they're, you know, seen as. Again, we're all complicated people. You know, you wanted to fuck. You met this guy. He's a little bit younger. That's kind of a turn off to you. Like, that's the thing she needs to admit it kind of turns me off.

[A]

That he's why she doesn't want to date him.

[B]

That's much younger, so. But I would fuck him. That's okay to say. That's a little gross. But that's who you are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And.

[A]

But he wants more than that.

[B]

And he wants more. And now you go, oh, I realize that time for me to move on. Time for the train to keep on chugging along. So.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I, you know, the 67 year age gap. But for every person that it wouldn't work for, it works for.

[A]

Yeah. So this is a no go for me. No sharing a shake shack. Buy one, get one free. Although, you know, if it's buy one, get one free, maybe he'd feel better about paying for it.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Lunch really only paying for one. So yours is free.

[B]

Right. This is a no go for me as well. And it's also, it's a bogo for her to buy into just having fun with it and Going, I feel this way. It is right because I feel it.

[A]

It's okay to feel that way.

[B]

Let's do another one.

[A]

J and J. Feather. Feather. I'm writing to ask if I'm dating a co worker. And let me preface it with, I know we're not actually dating, but I do think we're into each other. Okay, let me explain. I'm 31, female, and he's 35 male, and we're both single.

[B]

Okay, good start.

[A]

There you go. Age appropriate. We are often together alone for hours on end at work, so it's been easy to build a quick relationship. That said, it feels like it's more than just a close co worker relationship. There are vibes. Oh, for example, sometimes. There we go. Something in the air. For example, sometimes. Even when we have a pretty easy day, we almost always miss our deadlines because we talk all day and don't get any work done.

[B]

We're just too busy chit chatting.

[A]

We've been trying to improve on this. There was also an incident last week where he told me that I'm incredibly smart and hard working. And yesterday he stopped me in the hallway and said, oh, you were here today. To which I responded with, yeah, why? And he said, nothing, I just haven't seen you all day.

[B]

Okay, these sound like normal office interactions to me.

[A]

And then he said, what are you having for lunch?

[B]

Oh, you're here today. Oh, you. So he didn't notice. You must be a vibe.

[A]

Why was he looking for me?

[B]

Bless you, I didn't sneeze. Oh, okay, cool.

[A]

Why was he looking for me? Why does he seem to believe in me so much? Why do we never stop talking?

[B]

Why does he believe in me so much? He said, you're hard working. Yeah, all right. Just like, sir, he's my greatest.

[A]

You women make everything sexual. Why do we never stop your job?

[B]

Are you trying to me?

[A]

So are we heading towards dating? I'm into it. What next? Sincerely, don't tell hr.

[B]

This is a mess.

[A]

I mean, nothing's happened yet.

[B]

Nothing's happened. But I'm saying, like to say, I.

[A]

Believe there are vibes.

[B]

There may be vibes, but they gotta slow down. Are we heading towards dating? Like, you are not even on, like, like, yeah, like, story. You guys are on like the. They're not even towards the highway to dating. This is just fun, flirty office talk.

[A]

You don't think he wants to have sex with her?

[B]

Probably, but I think what she has to do is like. I think. I actually think it's a bogo for her to do something away from the office, okay, you have to bridge the office connection to the real world. Whatever happens inside the office is office fodder to get through the day. Sure, you guys have nice conversations. You stay after work. Oh, my God. Right? But you don't have to do anything for each other. There's no compromise of your time. You're at work, you might say, well, we stay late.

[A]

There's no way to tell through actions how serious someone would absolutely want to do this.

[B]

What I would say to her is like, hey, I'm going for drinks after work with a few friends or alone or whatever. Do you want to come and see if the vibe feels similar there? You got an inch. You can't go as quickly. And like, office relationships have to go very slowly.

[A]

Right? You have to, like, decide you want to marry each other before you can hook up.

[B]

Right. And you have to, like, be okay. Right. Basically, you have to be okay with, like, the dynamic. Things have to be said before they're acted on.

[A]

Right. You can't just hook up because the vibes are there.

[B]

Right? So should she date her coworker? Let me just say to her, it's a bogo, Go get some shake. But you got to do it right. You get some Shake Shack. You go get buy one, get one of the Smoke Shack burger. Go with this guy. But it's got to be at a Shake Shack. You're not ordering it into the office so that you guys can go and giggle more at your desk.

[A]

You.

[B]

No, you need to leave the office. Bogo. To you two going off site to hang out.

[A]

Yeah, Bogo. Give it a shot. People made it work all the time.

[B]

But it's got to be, hey, let's get a drink off. Off campus.

[A]

Yeah, there's a buy one, get one free sale at Shake Shack. Where we should go. What a great. What actually a great excuse to go get lunch with someone outside the office.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

We'll travel out. Let's go get something. I got a deal.

[A]

Then you can see if he pays.

[B]

There we go. My situationship of two and a half years has finally made the transition to full blown relationship.

[A]

Oh, how'd she do it?

[B]

Look at that. I'm writing you because suddenly my anxiety has shifted from what are we? To are we actually? It's like I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. How do I get over the anxiety that maybe this isn't right because it took so long to actually commit the ultimate damned if you do, damned if you don't. He's like, let's be in a relationship. She's like, I don't trust it.

[A]

I get it. Yeah. He's. Past behavior is the best prediction of future behavior.

[B]

Is this a warranted response?

[A]

One foot out the door the whole time.

[B]

Then finally he's like, I love you. She's like, I don't believe you. Or am I just being dramatic? Please help me figure out if I should trust this anxiety or if I should let it go and lean into the relationship and just believe in the timing. Sincerely, the exception, not the rule. Batch, what do you think?

[A]

I think she is totally right to be on edge here.

[B]

Then what? He's got to pay the rest of his life because they were a situation?

[A]

I didn't. I didn't say that. But I do think it will take. It's okay if it takes a little bit of time for her to trust that it's actually real. Because someone who has left before because they felt anxious about committing to you and dating you, who suddenly decided they want to commit and date to you, unless they've been to extensive therapy or there's a reason why it's. Why it's suddenly real. I wouldn't trust it right away either. I think that's smart.

[B]

No, I. I get where it comes from.

[A]

Start writing. I wouldn't book the venue.

[B]

No venues to be booked. I agree with you. But I do think she has to, like, let this person know that she doesn't trust. Fear is like, I'm not gonna tell them so that I don't lose it.

[A]

Here's the thing. There's a chance that this works out. People do change. I'm not saying that they don't. And I think that she should go with it. Right. If it's truly on and she doesn't give any details, we can't tell you. We have no details about the relationship. We can't really tell you if he sounds like he's for real or not. She didn't give.

[B]

We don't even know what type of situationship it was.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And, like, we don't know if he was, like, committing the. Not committing, then committing that. Or maybe they were just hooking up and he's like, oh, yeah, maybe let's give this a shot. Like, Right. I think that's which. Like, should she feel anxious? Yeah. I agree to her feelings.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Should you back away from it? No.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You got a bogo.

[A]

It's a bogo. It's a bogo to go all in, but also go into it differently than before with vulnerability and, like, saying what you actually feel, which is, like, it's hard for me to fully trust that you're fully in, even though you've said it and you said it feels different. I'm just a little bit nervous.

[B]

Right. I'm nervous that the minute I fall madly in love with you.

[A]

Right. I let myself go there.

[B]

Right. You're gonna be like, whoa, this is too much. And I think that's like. Like, that's not saying you are madly in love with them. You're like, I'm trying to date you, but I can't shake what we. I can't shake Shaq exactly what I just went through with you. Can we talk and can we talk.

[A]

About Shake Shack and talk this over?

[B]

Yeah, let's bogo at Shake Shack and get the smokehouse burger and hang out and have a nice time and kind of, like, talk about our feelings. And what got you here? What made you buy in? Because I've been kind of like, pushing you to buy in. I wish I didn't have to push you, but I guess here we are. I get here.

[A]

We are still happy to be here, but I'm a little nervous.

[B]

Right. So let's have buy one, get one at Shake Shack to discuss our feelings.

[A]

Let's do it. That's great. I think that that's the best course of action for her.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And thanks again to Shake Shack for sponsoring BOGO or no go this Valentine's Day. We hope that we help solve dating for you guys once again. These are delicious. I haven't stopped eating them throughout this entire recording. Get the bogo for yourself now through February 17th by visiting shake shack.com and use code be mine. That's s H A K E S H A C K dot com and use code be mine.

[B]

Cheers.

[A]

Cheers. You know, I love a good pair of underwear, but it is hard to find. If it's flattering, then usually pretty uncomfortable. It's like riding up, it's digging in, and if it's really comfortable, it's usually makes you look like a grandma and you kind of feel a little self conscious about it. It's really hard to find the medium. And skims has mastered that art. They have some of the most comfortable underwear that I have ever worn in my entire life.

[B]

It is funny that whenever I hear women talk about the skims product line, they do kind of like, glow a little bit above it.

[A]

It's just really hard for women to find stuff that looks good on you. And also, like, is really comfortable. I think that's just a universal struggle by many women.

[B]

I just love when we have a sponsor that helps our audience. It's nice to know skims is like helping people feel better about themselves.

[A]

Yeah, and I am. I am a believer. I am a convert. I'm a skims gal. Recently I got the Fits Everybody Full brief which is like their regular underwear which I am wearing all the time now. It's my favorite pair. I get annoyed when I wear it because then I have to wait until I wash all my underwear to wear it again and you just don't think about it, which is the number one thing for underwear for me. I also have the Bralette. It's a game changer. It lifts, it looks great. Super flattering, super cute, just the right amount of support and also incredibly comfortable. I haven't always loved bras. Who has? But with skims they are changing me into a bra lover. Shop my favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, make sure to let them know we sent you. Select Podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. You know those moments when your hands are full or your eyes need a break, but you still want to escape into a great story? That's why I'm such a fan of Audible. I listen all the time, whether I'm on a walk, commuting to the office, doing chores, or even just relaxing before bed. Audible's app makes it super easy to jump right into thousands of audiobooks anytime, anywhere. I've mentioned before that one of my favorite movies is Pride and Prejudice, and I'm excited that Audible is releasing a brand new audiobook version of the Jane Austen novel on September 9th. Narrated by Marissa Abela, Harris Dickinson, Glenn Close and other stars you know and love, Audible gives me the best of both worlds. I can enjoy a story I love while actually getting stuff done. They have thousands of titles, everything from romance to thrillers to memoirs, comedy and even self improvement. So whatever mood you're in, there's always something fresh and exciting waiting for you. And the app is super user friendly. You can download audiobooks to listen offline, adjust the narration speed, and pick up right where you left off across all your devices. If you've never tried Audible before, I can't recommend it enough. It's the easiest way to bring incredible stories into your everyday life. Trust me, once you start listening, you'll wonder how you ever went without it. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day [e-mail] UUP first, we have a listener success story email. We get so many of them. I mean, this show has been on for over seven years. So some of you. List. Some of you have seen who've been here ever since the beginning, have started listening when you were just like, dating single, and now you've got, like, children and you're in a totally different phase of life, but they still listen.

[B]

You were a young pup out on the scene.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now you're an old dog.

[A]

It would be funny. My mom was like. Is like an obgyn.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And sometimes she would get patients that would come back to her that she delivered that were like having babies of their own. And I. That's. That's how I feel when we get a success story.

[B]

Look at this vagina all grown up.

[A]

Exactly. That's what you say every time. Every time. She'd look the first person to see this. Yeah. First person to see it.

[B]

Wild. Can you. Does she get freaked out by that?

[A]

Probably. Probably, right?

[B]

I mean, I have that with. With this pot. This is a very. This is like looking at a vagina that we delivered.

[A]

Exactly. Do you want to read it?

[B]

Yeah, I'll read it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hello. You up, fam? As Valentine's Day approaches, I wanted to share my gratitude and two stories of what I think are great testaments to the podcast. I like that we're going positive on a day that might be, you know. So if you're a new listener, if you're old listener, if you're single, this is to inspire you. My friend turned me on to you up in 2021. I've been a devoted listener ever since. At the time that I started listening, I was really stuck in yet another situationship where I wanted more from the guy I was seeing. I knew he wasn't interested in a relationship, but I knew I should get out of it. But what if he suddenly wanted to be my boyfriend? The podcast episode. Why would he act like my boyfriend but not want a date? Seemed to have the perfect advice. And it did. Brutal and perfect advice. I realized that this guy was happy and casual intimacy. While where I wanted more, it was up to me to choose myself and set the standard for what I wanted in a relationship. As my therapist at the time said I could satisfy myself for a little while with an amuz bush.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

But what is a moose bouche?

[A]

It's like a.

[B]

That's like a little funny bush.

[A]

It's a little French appetizer. I think it means Gift from the chef. I just saw that. Yeah, technically it means gift from the chef.

[B]

Okay, so it's not like, like a.

[A]

Little thing they send out from the chef before the meal.

[B]

Amuse bouche made me think of like a clown, like multi colored pubic hair.

[A]

And see, and that's why you didn't thrive in France the first time.

[B]

Is this why I didn't hook up in France?

[A]

Is the amuse bush amuse boosh? Where's your amuse boo? Show it to me.

[B]

Let me see. So wait a minute. Amuse bouche isn't pubic hair. That's multi colored. It would be on a clown's head.

[A]

It is a gift from the chef.

[B]

Oh, okay. But eventually I would decided that I wanted an all you can eat buffet. The guy goes to me and I finally stopped chasing after the crumbs of the relationship. I hope for from him success number one, choosing myself and what I wanted. In June 2023, I came to the DCU UP Live event. I was newly in a relationship with a great guy and wanted to tell him I loved him for the first time. After years of dating men who avoided intimacy, I was nervous about how to share my feelings. I had been belittled by previous partners for being vulnerable and I was scared to say how I really felt. I got up on stage and J and J coached me and made me say the scary stuff out loud. I told my boyfriend I loved him and turns out immediately told me he loved me too. Do you remember this?

[A]

No.

[B]

Do you? I have no memory of coaching this woman into saying I love you.

[A]

Yeah, it is crazy the things that you forget. I literally have zero clue what she's even talking about.

[B]

Couldn't even.

[A]

I'm sure it happened. I validate that it happened.

[B]

Absolutely happened. Also, I'm sorry it wasn't a bigger moment in our lives, but you, I mean, you are saying I love you to your boyfriend. This is one of those stories that I feel bad that we don't remember.

[A]

We don't forget it. I mean, I just forgot. But we remember things.

[B]

I mean, apparently this leads to success number two. In October of this year, my boyfriend proposed. Whoa. Our relationship has been built on a foundation of love, trust, passion and curiosity. It's everything. I dared ask for the all you can eat buffet. I have realized a lot in the three years of listening to the podcast. We are our own best things and working on ourselves makes us the best partner to someone else. The Internet is full of shitty date, shitty dating advice, and especially as a straight Woman ingesting too much of it can make you pessimistic that anyone of the opposite sex is serious about the relationship you crave. You can meet a great guy on the Internet, even. Thank you for your continued humor and insight. Cheers to 2025 and all that this community can provide. Yours a batch going ham at the all you can eat buffet. See picture of the couple on the next card. You know, I was gonna go to the next card. They're a beautiful couple. They're kissing here, holding hands. I'm the ring.

[A]

They look very in love. Happy Valentine's Day.

[B]

So happy.

[A]

I know her email.

[B]

I read it before we started. I, you know, I. I do some preparation here. I, you know, I get ready.

[A]

Did you cry?

[B]

I had a little tears in my eye. Oh, wow. I was so proud to.

[A]

It's great to help, you know, be a part of that. That's why we do what we do. Well, se. That's secondarily why we do what we do. The first is for profit. The second is for stories like these that help us wake up in the morning.

[B]

Well, I was actually thinking, I think, very funny to say that we do this for profit first, but I have to say, we could be doing this in a different way that would make us much more money.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, if we were really, like, garbage human beings, we could do this show in a way where just. We are just divisive and we create a TikTok that, like, prize on the worst part of society. And I think that's what makes me proud is, like, there was nothing for us to gain by telling her, like, say I love you to your boyfriend. Like, I'm just. I'm just happy to help. I'm happy it worked out, you know, it's. I just, you know, that's what kind of makes me happy is that, like, we did it because we were like, it's the right thing to say to someone. It wasn't that it was funny, you know, Like, I get, you know, when I first started talking about dating on podcasts, like, the one thing I learned is, like, be honest and the funny will come, right? Like, you'll get a chance to be funny. I think when you're a young comic, you're like, just want to make people laugh. You want to, right?

[A]

Only do the jokes.

[B]

Only do the jokes. And, like, I've had people on J train and, like, in. And why this show works is like, we're here to help, and we're going to be fun and have a smile on our face. While we do it. So, like, this is just such a. Nice to see that. This is like a byproduct of what we do.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And it's such a huge part of her life. Holy.

[A]

Yeah. This was such a great email. Thank you for sending that in. Congratulations on your engagement. I have a feeling we'll get a wedding invitation. Who knows?

[B]

We better.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, Jared C. Free needs an invitation.

[A]

Yeah, you got invite. Cupid. Labor Day savings are happening right now at the Home Depot.

[B]

So what are you working on? Prep for fall with our wide selection of cordless power tools that make it easy to clear your lawn starting at $79. And once the leaves are clear, keep your yard looking fresh with colorful mums.

[A]

That bloom all season long.

[B]

Shop Labor Day Savings now through September 3rd only at the Home Depot. See select stores for details. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighborhood. State Farm is there. So let's do a lightning round.

[A]

Let's do it. All right. What are the rules for Valentine's Day? How early into dating should it be acknowledged?

[B]

Here's. Here's my answer to this question. And this is something that might make you feel good or bad. Okay. If you are talking to someone, acknowledgement of the day means that you are in a stronger relationship than you were before Valentine's Day.

[A]

As an acknowledgment, like, let's go out.

[B]

Any acknowledgement you're hooking up with someone. Happy Valentine's Day. You are now a stronger couple. I don't know what that is.

[A]

Like a text.

[B]

It's a text. I'm saying two months in plan a dinner stronger couple. That this is why relationships end this week as well. Someone is put face to face. No one is stupid. Everyone feels the same things. We're living in the same atmosphere.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So when February 14th is coming, you start feeling it. Breathe down your neck. If you're dating someone that you don't want to be more with.

[A]

Okay, what are you doing? You're creating space.

[B]

You're either in the bad way, holding space. Good. Creating space. Bad.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

This week, if you're in a relationship that you don't want to be in the whole week, you Just feel them just itching at your skin. And you're like, I can't be with someone after. During Valentine's Day. I can't be with this person. It would be a lie for me to acknowledge this day. That's why relationships end this week. Or the day gets ignored completely.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If you're hanging with someone who ignores the day completely, not a good sign.

[A]

They are hoping that you. That you break up with yourself.

[B]

They want you to break up with yourself. Or they want to send you a message that whatever you are before Valentine's Day is exactly what they want to be after Valentine's Day.

[A]

That's as far as it's getting.

[B]

We have gone to the end of the road. It's a dead end.

[A]

I will only say the Happy Valentine's Day text if you are past a certain point is a bad sign of someone who might just be trying to sleep with you.

[B]

There's all levels, right?

[A]

Like a text, but no plan. After a certain number of dates, I do think is a bad sign.

[B]

Text no plan. You're three months in. That's just someone trying to get through it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But they're also. Yeah. They're also not making it more.

[A]

I would say text no plan after, like, four dates.

[B]

It depends. Yeah, I. I think that's.

[A]

Would you. Would you not make a Valentine's Day plan with someone after.

[B]

After four dates?

[A]

How many would you. Would you.

[B]

I would. I would have to be in a committed relationship to.

[A]

To make a Valentine's Day plan.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[B]

And again, that would be assigned to the person that I'm, like, talking with. That, like, that's where we are.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, I. I just. This is the most honest dating day. Like, there is no day that you're gonna get an answer like Valentine's Day. Because it's like the question, you know, are you seeing someone? And then they're like, no, not really. And then it's like, would someone be mad to hear that answer?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, this is the day where it kind of gets smoked out.

[A]

Right?

[B]

You have to give an answer. Pop quiz, bitch. What are we? That's a Valentine's Day. So as women, me, I pop out in the cupid. Tell us what you are. I got my bow to your head. Are we in a relationship? Is this more than just that would be helpful. That's me. That someone should hire me with my bow. Jared Graham.

[A]

Like a. Yeah, one of those grams, like, singing.

[B]

I show up to some guy's office. Lauren wants to know what the we're doing.

[A]

I would pay to see that. I would pay to see that.

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

We create a show right around that concept.

[B]

How great would that be? I'll just show up amazing. Like, bow to his head.

[A]

You just start screaming at him until he says, one way or the other, Johnny, do you have a girlfriend?

[B]

Johnny, where the fuck are you? Lauren's got some fucking questions, but she doesn't feel.

[A]

She feels weird asking them, so here I am.

[B]

She's not gonna suck a dick at some stranger anymore. Cupid's got some fucking questions.

[A]

Anyway.

[B]

Any hooser? Yeah. So that's why relationships end, right?

[A]

For this day, but as women, as single women, dating some, starting to date someone. This is great for you. Absolutely. It's a great. You should look at it as an asset because you're getting the chance to stress test the relationship, see if they can make it through it.

[B]

Well, this is the advice that's easier to give than take you. I love what you just said. Use the day as an asset. So let's make Valentine's Day our friend, not our foe.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because if you live in fear of Valentine's Day and whoa, did I do enough? Am I doing too much? Am I. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Reverse it, reverse it. It is time to say I look in the mirror. Okay? If you're sitting, listening to this and you're like, what am I doing today, Valentine's Day? Look in the mirror and say these words. I am hooking up with blank. I would like blank to do this, to do blank on Valentine's Day.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What is that to you? I would like a text. I would like a plan. A plan. I would like a date. I'd like drinks. I don't know what that thing is that you want from them, but say it in the mirror. And if you don't get that thing, there's your fight.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

There's your argument.

[A]

Yes. And you've earned it.

[B]

And you've earned it. And I don't think you're a crazy person for feeling however you feel. That's the one thing you have to remember. You feel away.

[A]

Feelings are valid.

[B]

You're not sitting in a straight jacket in the fucking insane asylum.

[A]

Right. You want what you want. Your needs are your needs.

[B]

Right? You're in your sweats alone, eating ice cream on the couch in your one bedroom apartment. Okay.

[A]

Okay. If you're lucky, usually it might be a studio.

[B]

Right? You haven't watched those sweats in years and you're sitting there smelly, and you deserve to own your feelings.

[A]

Yeah. So let's say someone. You were on. Let's say you've been on four dates with someone, and they're like, jared, what's the plan for Valentine's Day?

[B]

The plan?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's bad if they go like, the plan. Yeah.

[A]

That's the answer you want.

[B]

I don't know. I. I said you'd say, I don't.

[A]

Do Valentine's Day unless I'm in a relationship.

[B]

This is. We have another.

[A]

You would never. You would never say that.

[B]

We have another question about that. Like, I. I actually think that's very funny. I have said in the past, like, we're not a gift family.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then that, like, covers you because you.

[A]

You deflect with the joke. Right, right.

[B]

We're not a gift family. But then it's funny.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

My brother got married, and his wife was like, we're not a gift family. I was like, yeah, he did it. He set this up.

[A]

He manipulated this whole.

[B]

Right, right. Learned from the best. Jared C. Freed.

[A]

Impressive.

[B]

No, I. I guess if I was four dates in and someone was like, what are we doing for Valentine's Day? I would go, I think maybe we're a little bit farther along than you're farther along than I am. I'm not looking to do. We're not at the point where I could really make a Valentine's Day plan.

[A]

And.

[B]

And we'd probably end.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, mature.

[A]

Would you actually say this?

[B]

Mature me would end it. Immature me would deflect, deny.

[A]

Would you send a text? Happy Valentine's Day text?

[B]

Yeah, I would send a Happy Valentine's Day. I. I think that's a pro, right?

[A]

If you're open to more.

[B]

Hey, Happy Valentine's Day. Well, this is where, like, my life, you know, the intersection of my life in this podcast are, like, tough to deal with. Like, Valentine's Day. I might be down in, like, Georgia. I might be doing shows in Atlanta.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Not Atlanta. Alpharetta. It's, like, an hour away. They were like, there's a club that wants to, like, do shows. Oh, I should probably mention that here. Oh, yeah, you're an Alpharetta.

[A]

There you go. So all the Alpharettians right there.

[B]

Excuses are really good, easy to come by for me. So if someone has an excuse they're avoiding this conversation, would you probably give.

[A]

An excuse instead of saying, I don't feel like we're there yet? Probably, yeah.

[B]

I'm a. I'm a. Jared C. Freed is also Jared P. Freed standing for.

[A]

02 aliases. All right.

[B]

Rachel wants to know what the we are.

[A]

All right. My partner and I are living apart for a few months for work. Any fun ideas for a remote Valentine's Day?

[B]

Oh, there's actually, like, things for this.

[A]

Okay, let's hear it.

[B]

If they want to go sexual, just get a vibrator that he can control from an app on his phone.

[A]

That's a thing.

[B]

That is a thing.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If it's not a thing, put me on Shark Tank. Okay. Because that should exist, but I think it exists. Okay. I. I don't know. Candace. Yeah. Okay. It's Candace's figure. Well, Candace just nodded. Like, I mean, I believe you.

[A]

It doesn't seem that hard to do.

[B]

Not the craziest idea, but I think that's a fun. Like, how do we make something so far away where we can be sexual but not. I think, also like, starting a movie at the same time. That could be fun.

[A]

That's fun.

[B]

Cooking for yourself. You. You send him a recipe.

[A]

He.

[B]

She sends you a recipe.

[A]

Oh, I like that.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You really. You've got a lot of these.

[B]

So romantic. I'm Jared C. Freed. You are also Jared P. Free.

[A]

Yes. Depending on the day, Right?

[B]

No, it's easier said than.

[A]

These are all great ideas.

[B]

No one has better ideas for a relationship than a single guy who has no one to do.

[A]

Because you can just. You can just suggest you don't actually have to do.

[B]

Right? I have not. Right. I've noticed the beauty of it. Like, there's no woman being like, well, why don't we do that? Oh, whoa. I gotta go home. I gotta go to Alpharetta.

[A]

Yeah. All right. He says Valentine's Day is every day, but does nothing romantic. How do I tell him that's not enough? This is a Valentine's Day is everyday guy.

[B]

This guy, I want to meet him. I want to hang out with him.

[A]

He's getting away with murder.

[B]

It is such a hilarious thing to say. Valentine's Day is every day.

[A]

Wouldn't you be a little embarrassed?

[B]

I kind of wish I had that in me to, like, not feel shame for my own.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, this is.

[A]

You'd be a different person, though, right?

[B]

This is the highest form of bullshittery.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If she says Valentine's Day is every day, then it's like, I. I guess you could do, like, a pithy response where you're like, well, I guess you have to go down on me every day. You know? Like, I. Like. I don't know what you.

[A]

Here's my. You're right. Here's my expectations for Valentine's Day. So I should be getting them every day.

[B]

Right. But then that turns into like, two people joking. But, like, actually not joking.

[A]

No, of course. You should be, like, actually open and honest with your feelings. Which is. Here's the thing that says. He says Valentine's Day is every day. That's his feeling. Right. Your feeling is that Valentine's Day is February 14th and you'd like something special and something. I've said this before. What's actually romantic is someone doing something that they don't want to do.

[B]

Right? That's a good point.

[A]

It'd be even more romantic if he did something for you on Valentine's Day because he doesn't give a shit about it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You do, right?

[B]

I guess. How do you like. It is funny. It's like, how do you do jujitsu with a bullshit jiu jitsu artist?

[A]

Like, if you want to play that game.

[B]

Right. Because if you do, Valentine's Day is every day. You kind of have to, like, ruin the fun. Like, you have to be the one to be like, hey, that really annoys me when you say that. Like, you. It sucks because I. I feel for the person because I'm the Valentine's Day is everyday guy. Like, I would make a joke like that to like, you know, bob and weave.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And that forces the other person into a position of like, hey, you know, that annoys me. Now I have to tell you, I want something done for me on Valentine's Day. You ruin the romantic.

[A]

It takes away from it.

[B]

Right. I don't know when you have that conversation or how you have it, but there's a point where you gotta pop the balloon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like.

[A]

And that is a more intimate conversation.

[B]

Right. Valentine's Day isn't every day for me. Yeah. Like, yeah.

[A]

Well, it's like, this is a relationship. Part of a relationship is doing things for other people because it makes them happy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So here's what would make. Here's would mean a lot to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Love to get you to have a dinner reservation. I'd love to get flowers. That's what would make me really happy on Valentine's Day. Some Whatever is important to you. You can relay that to me. And even if it's not something that I would immediately think to do, I would do it because I care about you.

[B]

Again, to go back to the, you know, going and looking in the mirror. I expect this on this day from this person. And then when that doesn't happen, you Got the receipts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there's your fight.

[A]

You're giving them. Well, here's the thing. You're hand feeding them a, an opportunity to do something nice. If they're not taking it, that's a bigger conversation.

[B]

But that's what Valentine's Day hand feeding. That's why. That's why, like, I think, like, I, I.

[A]

Why it's so cheesy, right?

[B]

It's why it's so cheesy. It's also like, why I, I would assume, like, a coupled person would like it. Like, okay, good. I have this opportunity to show this person.

[A]

It's built in.

[B]

Right? So it's like, if you're not looking at Valentine's Day as, like, oh, good, I get to show this person, like, where I am, how I feel. What are you avoiding?

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, so again, make it your friend, not your foe. We have another one.

[A]

Embrace it.

[B]

How to ask the person you're seeing if you're spending Valentine's Day together. If you're not official yet, what are.

[A]

We doing for Valentine's Day?

[B]

Any plans for Valentine's Day? Any plans for Valentine's plans is cheeky. It's cheeky. Any plans for Valentine's Day?

[A]

How would you want to be asked?

[B]

Any plans for Valentine's Day would. Well, it's a little bit. What are we talkish. I don't know. I could get out of it.

[A]

You could. You could celebrate Valentine's Day and then not it, not progress.

[B]

Oh, no. But that's the point of what we were talking about in the beginning. You're just a little bit. You could be a little bit stronger of a relationship, but, like, acknowledgment of the day is just. It could be an inch, it could be a mile. It doesn't have to be this big grand, like, we are now together. You know, it's more just like, it's nice that it was acknowledged. You know, it's nice that you. I'm the person you thought of.

[A]

Like, like, it's an opportunity for a reveal.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, we've been hanging out for a little bit. I, you know, Valentine's coming up. I would love to sell it to, to spend it with you.

[B]

And if they're not with you physically, you have to wonder, where are they? Yeah. Who do you spend it with? They're only spending with one person.

[A]

They're in Altoona. Where are you going?

[B]

Alpharetta.

[A]

Alpharetta. If you've been stressing out about this all week because the person you're Dating has not said anything about Valentine's Day. You wake up, you're hearing this episode. What do you do? They haven't said anything yet.

[B]

I. How about you come out? Here's the other thing. Let's get on the offensive, okay? If you are sitting here waiting for someone specific to send you a Happy Valentine's Day text, then obviously you feel you want to tell them, Happy Valentine's Day. So why don't you send that text? Happy Valentine's Day. I was thinking of you.

[A]

If someone had to text you first, Happy Valentine's Day, do you think that you would actually be into them?

[B]

Well, our job is not to tell people. What? Even though I just told people what to do, right? No, but my job, our job is to lead the horse to water and then for them to find out, get yourself answers. Right. To find out that the water is going to make you sick if you send the text, Happy Valentine's Day. I was thinking of you. That's a reveal. That's expect your plan for that night or your breakup. Yeah, it's one of the other.

[A]

And lucky for you, either way, again.

[B]

Valentine's Day is your friend. It's helping you get answers.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So, hey, Happy Valentine's Day to you too. I was thinking of you also. Cool. What are you doing tonight for the holiday?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I gotta go to Alpharetta and do a show. You know, like I. Or you get let's get drinks. Sometimes it's just so easy.

[A]

Right. They'll take.

[B]

But I just don't, don't count on let's get drinks.

[A]

It doesn't feel as good when it's even less drinks. But, But. Right. Your job is to ask for what you want. You can only control yourself.

[B]

And we're also speaking to someone who's already lost.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If you're waking up the morning of Valentine's Day, it's already over.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

You're alone. You got no one.

[A]

Well, you got, you got Jared. Jared, Jared.

[B]

See? Free.

[A]

Free. Depending on the day.

[B]

Yeah, this is.

[A]

All right. Is Valentine's Day a girl holiday? Do men expect or want physical gifts.

[B]

To go back to this? It's a couple's holiday. It's a couple.

[A]

So would you expect a gift from.

[B]

Would I expect a gift?

[A]

Where is my gift?

[B]

It's Valentine's Day. No, I, I, I don't, I wouldn't expect a gift.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I would expect that.

[A]

I, I think men don't expect a gift, but I think it's a nice opportunity to like, if you're in a relationship or you're seeing someone that you're kind of like, official with to do something a little more sentimental.

[B]

Oh, I love it. Yeah, no, it feels. It feels great. Like, all that, Like, I don't know. I just like when someone's got a plan. When someone, like, is, like, thoughtful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Thoughtful. Yeah, yeah. Like. Or just like, like, if we're together. If we're like, openly together, like, we're dating and it's like, hey, I'm thinking about you tonight. Like, I got my own things in mind for tonight. And then, like, you have a thoughtful gift. That'd be nice, right?

[A]

I think it's more important that the man do something in a heterosexual relationship.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But I think it's like a great opportunity to, like, lean into that.

[B]

Right. There's just a big difference between. In the relationship, not relationship. Like, the not relationship of it all. Like, like, again, I've been given gifts and it was the moment I was like, I gotta, like, we gotta have a talk.

[A]

So let's say you've been on six dates with someone and they get you a Valentine's Day gift. Would that. Would you have to end it?

[B]

No. Happy Valentine's Day. We gotta talk. No, I. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not six dates in with someone.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If I was excited about it, it would be cool.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Again, like, it's all about.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right. We're. All you're doing is saying, I'm on this page. Today is a day where pages are announced.

[A]

Yes. Time to show your true colors.

[B]

That's right. I almost lost my heart cup. Okay, let's do another one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is lingerie on Valentine's Day something a guy would appreciate or is it not worth the hype?

[A]

I would say yes to lingerie on Valentine's Day.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Just, I think it's fun.

[B]

Just the idea that you were thinking about it.

[A]

It. Right.

[B]

I think, like, just like.

[A]

But effort. Anything with effort is never, like, bad.

[B]

I totally agree. And also, like, men love the idea of women thinking about sex.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, we just like. Yeah. And again, this isn't fair. Right. But like, I think from the guy side of things is like, just the idea that you were as much a dog as me for two seconds, you know, that you got a little sweaty while you put on that. That lingerie thinking about me. You know, that's nice.

[A]

And I think if you're in a longer term relationship, it's especially nice because I think it can almost feel A little embarrassing to, like, break that out on a random day. Like, why now? Do you know what I mean?

[B]

And it's like, it says, like, gives.

[A]

You, like, a little something. A reason to do something special.

[B]

Just like Halloween, when people dress as, like, the sexy whatever, right? You know, sexy cupid. Like, I'm dressed right now, like, exactly.

[A]

Kept your shirt on, though.

[B]

I kept my shirt on. I was gonna go shirtless, but I. I'm just saying, like, when you dress, it's like, the embarrassment. Like, who am I?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Am I putting on lingerie for it? You know, I can understand that. I have that feeling when I go on a date. Like, when I'm, like, getting dressed for a date, I'm, like, combing my hair. What am I, a loser? You know? Like, so I think, like, the day.

[A]

Yeah. Gives you a reason to do it.

[B]

And it gives you a reason to get into that other version of yourself.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, you get to be the sexy.

[A]

Version of you because it's marked as special. I love that.

[B]

Okay, how to tell the person you're seeing that Valentine's Day isn't your thing without sounding like you don't like them. How does it. So this happens from the female side of things a lot.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Where? Like, it almost from a guy. Like, if I heard a woman be like, I hate Valentine's Day. It's awful to me. It's like a doth protest too much. Like, it, like, says more about, like, maybe their past or things they've gone through than us. Like, I would never take that as, like, you don't like me. And maybe that's my cocky brain speaking. But if someone's, like, really against Valentine's Day, I'm like, what's wrong with you?

[A]

Right. Who hurt you?

[B]

Right. Like, you can't renew. You can't find this fun with me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, don't we, like. You know what I mean? I guess it comes back to, do you like me? But, like, how hurt are you from whatever was in your past? And again, these can be traumatic. These can be, like, very serious topics. I don't know.

[A]

Well, that's the thing where she's. How to tell the person you're seeing that Valentine's Day isn't your thing. Tell them why.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's a vulnerable thing.

[B]

It makes you closer.

[A]

That brings you closer if the person's interested in you.

[B]

Right. And it also might help you to, like, have a good Valentine's Day with them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Is it a bad sign if my boyfriend doesn't get me a gift for Valentine's Day.

[B]

It depends. I don't know.

[A]

Right. We need more context.

[B]

Yeah. Is it a bad sign? It's a. I mean, if you expected a gift and you didn't get a gift.

[A]

Right. And he knew it's bad, and he knew that a gift was expected.

[B]

Right. Or maybe you gotta report to him that. Hey, you up?

[A]

Right?

[B]

You didn't get a gift for me on Valentine's Day. What?

[A]

Yeah, but I think it all depends on expectations.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Some people probably after a while might not expect a gift. I don't expect a gift.

[B]

I'm trying to think. I'm not a gift guy. I would more. It would be dinner.

[A]

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's usually, I think, especially the further in you get, it's like, maybe I'll get flowers. I get flowers.

[B]

Right. Maybe I'd get them. Get them one of these vagina cups.

[A]

You could keep it, bring it, give it, Give it to someone and.

[B]

Oh, it's a heart.

[A]

It does kind of look like an ass.

[B]

You can go check it out on YouTube. You guys can tell us what the heart cups look like.

[A]

Should I spend Valentine's Day with a guy I've only been on two dates with? Sure, if he's willing.

[B]

Right. But also, like, the first date that happens on Valentine's Day by accident, like, that happens.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The third date that, like. Oh, it's What?

[A]

Yeah. As long as it's, like, very obvious that, like, it's just a fun day. Like, you're not. No one's taking it super seriously.

[B]

Right. And also, like, it's kind of fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like. Oh. And yeah. You just have to, like. I think it's. I think you have to also accept how little it means to the other person.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, if you're like, oh, it's just a third date, but it happens to be on Valentine's Day, you have to understand, like, them doing it doesn't mean that this is a grand gesture.

[A]

Right. And you have to be self aware enough to know that it.

[B]

Everyone involved has to be.

[A]

Right. Yeah. Okay, last one. Is it cool or weird to go out alone on Valentine's Day? Treat yourself.

[B]

I think it's cool to go out alone in general.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We talked a little bit about, like, the Galentine's Day thing.

[A]

I think, like, I don't like Galentine's Day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I do think Valentine's Day is a great night to go out.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

It's a Friday night this year. Too. Everyone who's out is single.

[B]

Right. If they're alone and they're not, like with, you know, holding hands with someone, they're single.

[A]

It's a great way to, like, know that everyone out there is single.

[B]

That is a great point. It's the most honest hookup night of the year.

[A]

Yeah. If you think about it on Valentine's Day.

[B]

Right. And you know that whoever they're not spending it with has been told basically that they're nothing.

[A]

Yeah. They can't have a secret girlfriend.

[B]

Right. A secret girlfriend would really have to be a secret.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, so it. This is. I mean, if you're out, you know.

[A]

Everyone else at the bar.

[B]

The most honest hookup night of the year. How about that?

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Yeah. What a rebrand of Valentine's Day.

[A]

My parents met at a Valentine's Day party. It ended wonderfully. They're both with different dates.

[B]

I remember you told. You've told this story before. Different dates.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then they ended up together at the party.

[A]

I don't know if it was at the. I think my dad asked. Knew her date and asked if it was fine if he asked her out. And the guy was like, sure, I don't care.

[B]

Really bold.

[A]

I think he was like, yeah, she has like four kids, so she's all yours.

[B]

Well, we solved dating again.

[A]

We did it.

[B]

We did it. And here's a little special tidbit for you.

[A]

A Valentine's Day gift.

[B]

We have a gift for you. If you're watching Love is Blind. We have done recaps. It is going to come out tomorrow on YouTube. So that's a. A great reason to subscribe to the YouTube channel. We are doing episodes one through six. That's all the pods. And you can watch us, you know.

[A]

Yeah. You can watch other people ruin their lives on tv.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then watch us make fun of them.

[B]

Boom, there it is. So we will be back next week. Happy Valentine's Day. I hope this helped your day. If you were feeling a little down in the dumps, I hope that this little. This cupid over here, I think you should do it.

[A]

Right into the camera.

[B]

Right into the camera. And.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Back next week. Bye.

[A]

Kate McAuliffe is our senior producer. Our editor is Emily Free. Candice Miniga is our senior social producer. Our associate producer is Will Maxwell. Additional production help from Shannon Jimenez Sasson. Be sure to follow us at U Up Podcast and send us your emails to uupetches.com Olivia loves a challenge.

[B]

It's why she lifts heavy weights and likes complicated recipes. But for booking her trip to Paris, Olivia chose the easy way. With Expedia, she bundled her flight with a hotel to save more. Of course, she still climbed all 674 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower. You were made to take the easy route. We were made to easily package your trip. Expedia made to travel flight inclusive packages are atoll protected betches.