U Up? Podcast: "How To Date Someone Outside Your Faith"

Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: October 15, 2025
Podcast by: Betches Media

Episode Overview

This episode dives into the challenges and nuances of dating someone outside your faith, based on a listener email from a Catholic woman dating a Christian man. Jordana and Jared unpack generational expectations, family pressures, and the realities of navigating relationships where religious backgrounds differ. They also answer related listener questions, riff on dating app “icks,” and play their signature red flag/deal breaker game—all delivered in their signature mix of empathy, humor, and candid advice.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. [30:48] Listener Email: Catholic Guilt Meets Modern Dating

• Question: A woman wonders how to manage her conservative parents’ expectations when dating outside her Catholic faith.
• Jordana breaks down the listener’s situation: strong family ties to Catholicism, personal openness, but anxiety over disappointing parents.
• Jared notes the difference between personal values and family-generated “head trash”: “If you simplify things, things are easier. The most simple form of this: 'Hey, I'm single and I'd like to meet a guy.' The parents are adding detours that aren’t necessary.” (32:26)
• Both hosts stress: Figure out if your faith truly matters to you in dating, or if you’re projecting family anxieties.
• Guidance for approaching parents:
  • Get clear about what actually upsets them—is it fear of abandoning tradition, raising non-Catholic kids, etc.?
  • Recognize parents’ fears as often being hypothetical, and that people’s attitudes often soften when they meet the real partner.
  • Jordana: “Ultimately, you know, they're on the board, you’re the CEO; you're making the executive decision.” (37:14)
• Takeaway: Separate your values from your parents’ wishes. Have an honest talk with yourself about what matters, then bring that clarity into conversations with your parents.

2. [38:01] Icky or Picky: The Twin with Matching Outfits Dilemma

• Listener is weirded out by a Bumble match whose profile features multiple photos with his twin—sometimes in identical outfits.
• Both hosts think one photo with a twin is fine, but dressing alike crosses into “creepy, juvenile” territory.
• Jared: “Twins dressing alike is two toddlers holding their binky... That doesn’t ring: ‘Oh, we could date and get it on.’” (39:04)
• Jordana adds: Multiple photos with the twin signals they may be enmeshed, and “you're dating both of them.”

3. [51:08] Leaving the Door Open: Is It Real or Just Nice?

• Listener asks if a guy saying he wants to “keep the door open” after slowing things down is genuine or a soft rejection.
• Jared reviews the “breakup” text, pointing out its excessive length and the cringe-worthy line: “I’ll be rooting for you.”
• Jared (52:54): “I saw that ‘I'll be rooting for you’ in a breakup text—makes my penis run inside me like a turtle, scared.”
• Both hosts agree: Telling someone you’ll ‘be the first to know’ or ‘rooting for you’ is well-meaning but unnecessary and ultimately not comforting.
• Takeaway: “Leaving the door open” is almost never meaningful. If someone wants to try again, they'll reach out, and then it’s up to you if you still want them.

4. [62:11] Red Flag or Dealbreaker: Sober Dating, Vape Breaks, & Snoring

• A sober listener dates a guy whose response to her sobriety is, “I love drinking, have no intention of stopping,” who later vapes during sex.
  • Both hosts call it a dealbreaker more for his immature, dismissive response than his love of drinking.
  • Jared: “People need to match your energy. If they're not, they don’t care enough about you.” (64:09)
• Another listener asks if snoring or using a CPAP machine is a dealbreaker:
  • Jordana: Irritating, yes. Dealbreaker, no—if you really like someone, you figure it out.
  • Jared reflects: If someone blames breakup on snoring or a CPAP, it's not the real reason—they just weren't that in.
• Takeaway: Small quirks only become issues if the relationship is missing real compatibility.

5. [75:20] Love Bombing vs. Fast Forward Dating

• Woman (27) writes about a 37-year-old she’s dating who quickly calls her “the one,” mentions marriage, and calls her his girlfriend after 3 dates.
• Jordana points out he’s described this pattern in all his past relationships—which is a red flag.
• Warning signs:
  • Partners not listening to your pace or boundaries
  • Repeated declarations of love early on, especially if it's a pattern
• Advice: Check in with your own gut—do you feel swept up, uncomfortable, or pressured? Jordana: “Interview yourself. Do I like him? Do I want to meet his parents? If it feels too early, say so—see how he reacts.” (78:26)
• If he can’t meet you where you are, reconsider moving forward.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On parental expectations:
  “Parents are like the paper tigers of your life—if you put your hand through, there’s nothing there.” — Jared (34:28)
• On twin matching outfits:
  “If you’re both just the Doublemint Twins, I think you’re two stupid people.” — Jared (39:24)
• On breakup euphemisms:
  “No one wants to be well-wished by the person that wants nothing to do with them anymore.” — Jordana (56:41)
• On dating and shame:
  “I think people have shame when there’s something for them to lose. This person didn’t feel they had anything to lose with you.” — Jared (64:45)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [30:48] Listener email: Dating outside your faith—managing family expectations
• [38:01] Icky or Picky: Twin on Bumble, matching outfits
• [51:08] “Leaving the door open” breakup text
• [62:11] Red Flag/Dealbreaker: Drinking, vaping, and snoring date stories
• [75:20] Love bombing and relationship pace concerns

Episode Tone & Style

As always, Jordana and Jared use their trademark banter: sharp, self-deprecating, quick with relatable personal story, and always cycling back to "What does this mean for dating today?" The vibe is supportive but honest—mixing laugh-out-loud sarcasm with genuinely thoughtful advice.

Final Takeaways

• Figure out what’s important to you versus what’s been passed down by family or culture.
• When dating outside your faith (or with any potentially “big” difference), align on your personal values, then communicate clearly—with both your family and your partner.
• Red flags are less about the detail and more about how the other person responds to your boundaries.
• “Leaving the door open” is code for “probably not.”
• Don’t let minor quirks or one-off “icks” override genuine compatibility and connection—unless the underlying issue is a lack of respect or emotional reciprocity.

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