U Up? — “How to Survive a Sports-Obsessed Partner”

Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: September 10, 2025

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode explores the challenges of dating (or being married to) someone who is obsessed with sports. Hosts Jordana and Jared take on listener dilemmas—particularly from women dealing with sports-obsessed partners—offering perspective, empathy, and practical advice on navigating the “sports take-over” in modern relationships. The episode combines personal anecdotes, humorous debate, and crowd-sourced dilemmas, addressing how to handle division of interests, emotional labor, and that ever-present background hum of football (or fantasy leagues).

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Dating Season” and Why Fall Kicks Things Off

• Fall is labeled as dating season, post-summer hook-ups and pre-cuffing.
• Both hosts joke about the seasonal approach to relationships.
  • Jared (01:08): “Summer’s fucking, fall’s for flirting, winter is for hugging—well, intimacy, right?”

2. Gift-Giving Banter and Relationship Dynamics

• Jordana presents Jared a raunchy bottle opener as a “souvenir” (03:04).
• The hosts riff on gift-giving, the line between funny and inappropriate, and how these playful exchanges can reveal partner values.

3. Football (and Sports) as Social Glue and Gendered Experience

• Both hosts endorse the idea that football Sundays are a built-in, risk-free reason to get out and socialize (09:25).
• Jordana: “Football reason brings people together… It’s a conversation starter—even if it’s the loser Jets!” (10:09)
• Sportswear and “gear” are talked up as icebreakers in romantic and platonic bar settings.

4. Listener Dilemma: My Partner is Too into Sports

Email Segment Begins [24:01]

• A listener (27F) with a 30M boyfriend of three years writes in: life is starting to feel like “living in a sports bar.”
• She feels her interests (e.g., Love Island) are belittled while sports are positioned as sacrosanct, creating a dynamic of inequality.
• The couple’s problem is reframed as an intimacy and curiosity gap, more so than mere screen time preferences.

Key Host Commentary:

• Jared (25:12): “Curiosity is a very underrated value [in relationships]."
• Both hosts highlight that mutual interest and willingness to learn about each other's hobbies breed intimacy.

Debate: What’s the real issue here?

• Not just “sports on all the time” but a refusal to compromise or validate the partner’s hobbies (32:07).
  • “It’s more like… Is he so rigid in this hobby that he will not compromise?” – Jordana
• The crucial problem is when sports take priority in all situations or when partner’s emotional needs are dismissed.
  • Memorable line (32:56): “The only specific… was he’s mean about Love Island… That’s the biggest issue to me.” —Jared
• Possible solution: Increase togetherness (“gamble together” humorously suggested), or at least recognize each other's comfort media (Real Housewives for Jordana, football for Jared).

5. Touchdown or Fumble: Is It a Relationship Killer?

Hosts’ Judgment: Touchdown (not Dealbreaker), with caveats

• Both hosts concur: the “sports obsession” is not a relationship killer if the partner is otherwise supportive, not rigid, and willing to compromise.
• Actionable advice: Ask for specific examples of how sports are impeding connection—or if it’s more about mutual respect for differing interests.
• Classic takeaway: Hostile or mocking remarks about a partner’s interests are a red flag.

6. Relationship Games & Red Flags—Lightening Round

• Vanity License Plates:

  • Host consensus: Buying a custom plate with a nickname no one uses = “major ick" (46:56–47:36).
  • Jordana: “I would feel validated in the breakup if I saw a guy that I dated got one of these cheesy, weird vanity plates.”

• Oversharing about Exes on Dates:

  • Bringing up an ex is fine in moderation and context, but obsessively talking about past relationships—and comparing them—is a deal breaker (75:10).
  • Healthy conversation should focus on “you and the date,” not graphic detail about past lovers.

• Family Photos with Ex-Wives:

  • Posting family group shots with ex-wives (especially if the new partner is excluded) is a red flag that needs a conversation, but not an outright deal breaker (80:01–81:55).

• Showing Your Dating Profile After a Kiss:

  • Pulling up a Hinge profile for feedback post-hookup is branded “so awkward” and a red flag, not nec. a deal breaker, but “feels like market research, not romance” (86:48–94:20).

7. Phones, Group Chats, and the Third Entity in a Relationship

(Email segment starts [58:07])

Listener Problem: Fiancé always plugged into several work/social group chats, making the listener feel ignored at home.

Host Analysis & Advice:

• Jared: “The phone is the third person in the relationship.” (61:34)
• They suggest clear communication, setting “phone-free” moments, and being honest about why this bothers you (“Is it the time spent, or feeling second place?”).
• Jordana: “Worth getting off your phone for”—Find someone who makes you want to disconnect.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jared (25:12): “Curiosity is a very underrated value [in relationships]. I think that’s the most fun—makes someone the most fun.”
• Jordana (32:07): “Is he so rigid in this… that he will not compromise? Because that gives addiction vibes.”
• Jared (36:16): “Nothing makes me feel like I’m being hugged more—other than a hug—than football being on.”
• Jordana (36:18): “That’s how I feel about Real Housewives.”
• Jordana (33:36): “It makes me feel disrespected when you mock what I like.”
• Jared (61:34): “The phone is the third person in the relationship.”
• Jared (94:20): “Showing a Hinge profile after a kiss? It’s market research, not romance.”

Important Segments & Timestamps

• [01:08] – “Seasonal Dating” and what fall means for relationships
• [09:25] – Using sports/social outings as dating icebreakers
• [20:20] – Touchdown or Fumble: Introducing the case of the sports-obsessed partner
• [24:01] – Reading and dissecting the main listener email: “I feel like I live in a sports bar”
• [32:07] – When is sports just a hobby vs. a relationship problem?
• [36:16] – “Football is comfort; Real Housewives is comfort”
• [46:56] – Icky or Picky: Vanity license plates
• [58:07] – Phone addiction, group chats, and feeling ignored by a partner’s digital life
• [75:10] – Red Flag/Deal Breaker: Ex talk on first dates
• [80:01] – Posting family photos with ex-wives & the “Great Eight” caption debate
• [86:48] – Guy whips out Hinge profile after a kiss: deal breaker?
• [94:20] – The Hinge profile recap & final “we solved dating again”

Tone and Style

Conversational, witty, self-deprecating, sometimes irreverent. The hosts maintain a playful banter, often poking fun at themselves and each other while remaining empathetic to listeners’ dilemmas.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode is essential listening for anyone negotiating relationship “ick” with a partner's sports obsession—or anyone who’s ever felt dismissed in their own home. Jordana and Jared offer blend of laughter and pragmatic advice, focusing less on changing your partner and more on finding respectful compromise and curiosity. Whether it’s jealousy over a remote control, the battle of Love Island vs. Monday Night Football, or existential dread about being second to the group chat, this is RLT (Real Life Therapy) for the modern dater.

For further questions or sharing your own dilemma, email the U Up? Podcast or check them out on Instagram.