Is Saying Your Dog is your Kid an Ick?

Summary

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U Up? Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title: Is Saying Your Dog is your Kid an Ick?
Release Date: December 26, 2025
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid

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Main Theme & Overview

This episode dives into dating ick/picky moments, authenticity (and lack thereof) in online dating content, and the performative trends of modern dating advice, with a hilarious and pointed analysis of a viral "high standards" video. The hosts dissect social media rage-bait in the dating world and answer a listener question about a dog-dad who jokingly passes his pet off as his child in early conversations. The episode is witty, reflective, and pokes fun at performative vulnerability and annoying dating behaviors.

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Key Segments & Timestamps

• [00:00-03:50]: New Year's Week Reflections & Banter
• [16:06-32:31]: Reaction to "Never Lower Your Standards" Viral Video from Ricky Canuck
• [34:02-43:32]: Icky or Picky? Listener Story—Dog Dad Pretends to Have a Kid

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Highlights & Notable Quotes

1. New Year's Limbo & Reflecting on Change

• The episode opens with witty, light banter about the weirdness of the week between Christmas and New Year’s. The hosts joke about lost time and the false pressure of last-minute achievements.
  • “If there’s anything you wanted to accomplish in 2025, it’s probably too late.” – Jordana [02:17-02:20]
  • “You’re not gonna lose 50 pounds today, it ain’t happening. Sorry to inform you.” – Jared [02:21-02:22]
• Brief personal check-in about Jordana’s upcoming baby, with playful speculation about Jared joining in the delivery room for “content” and the meta-ness of living for content as podcasters.

2. Rage-Bait & Performative Vulnerability in Online Dating Advice

• [16:06-32:31]
• The hosts introduce and live-react to a viral video from Canadian influencer "Ricky Canuck," who declares he’s chronically single because his standards are so high he’s out of his own league, and refuses to "lower" those standards.
• The video’s main points:
  • Ricky claims to be self-aware, acknowledges wanting women “out of his league”, and concludes he must “work harder” rather than lower his standards.
  • Insists he won’t teach his kids to aim lower, and equates self-improvement with deserving higher-value women.

Hosts' Live Analysis & Breakdown

• Both hosts immediately spot the contrived, manipulative, and performative nature of the video:
  • “This is a manipulative person. That’s why he has a following. He is manipulating the audience.” – Jared [20:50]
  • “He’s trying to pretend to be vulnerable… Just like all you losers, I’m a loser. And you know, I’m not.” – Jared [21:25]
• Jared coins it as “rage bait,” referencing the 2025 word of the year, meaning content engineered to provoke arguments in the comments section.
  • “This video is made specifically to gain two sides of a debate – he doesn’t believe any of this.” – Jared [22:20]
• Jordana points out the hypocrisy and the unhealthy mindset:
  • “All this says is, there’s a problem with you. Not that you’re aiming too high, but what you’re looking for are these extremely superficial things.” – Jordana [26:44]
  • “How you see yourself is how you see the world.” – Jared [27:05]

Societal Reflections & Gender Dynamics

• They discuss genuine societal pressures on men and how attraction and “value” are assessed, but critique the packaging of these truths in viral content.
  • “Do you have a job, are you able to provide – those are old school, but they’re true today.” – Jared [26:11]
  • “It makes it more about him than about you—the point is, he thinks he’s not enough.” – Jordana [31:08-31:22]

Authenticity vs. Grifting

• The hosts draw a line between honesty and online grifting:
  • “This is the male side of dating that takes over the internet conversation, that I think is a bad actor.” – Jared [29:24]
  • “A good manipulator uses truth and then weaponizes it.” – Jared [32:03]
  • “I wouldn’t date someone who liked that video.” – Jared [32:27]

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3. Icky or Picky: The "Dog Dad as Kid" Incident

• [34:02-43:32]
• Listener writes in: At a speed dating event, she connects with a man (32) and plans a date. He texts her saying he has a 6-year-old son, which she responds to with “dealbreaker.” Next morning, he reveals it was a joke—his “son” is actually his dog.
• Jordana and Jared role-play the exchange and break down what feels off and what’s just a dating quirk.

Hosts' Opinions

• Both hosts agree the woman's initial response (“dealbreaker”) was blunt—perhaps unnecessarily so:

  • “There’s a classier way to say that than like ‘dealbreaker, out.’” – Jordana [36:53]
  • “She was quite harsh.” – Jared [36:39]

• On the man’s joke, consensus emerges: it’s a “bit” that doesn’t land well over text, especially with time elapsing between the “I have a kid” confession and the punchline. He made things unnecessarily weird:

  • “If you tell someone you have a kid, you’re in a position of power… you’re using that to test them.” – Jared [38:24]
  • “You’re putting them in a weird position. He seems just like a kind of annoying, weird guy. That’s more the dealbreaker.” – Jordana [41:16]

• They note that done differently (in person, with an immediate reveal), it could have been cute, but delayed over text, the joke was a miss.

Conclusion: Both sides a little off, but the man's delivery of the “dog/son” joke is the true ick.

  - “The more we know, the more I’m icked out by him.” – Jared [41:40]
  - “We started off one way, changed it around… This guy’s being icky.” – Jordana [43:29]

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4. General Reflections on Modern Dating and Vulnerability

• The episode as a whole repeatedly returns to the tension in online discourse between genuine vulnerability and “content for content’s sake.” They encourage honesty, self-awareness, and humor in dating—but emphasize that performative, manipulative behavior (online or on dates) is always an ick.

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Key Timestamps

• Ricky Canuck Video & Discussion: [16:06 - 32:31]
• Listener Ick/Picky – Dog Dad Joke: [34:02 - 43:32]
• Best Quotes:
  • “This video is made specifically to gain two sides of a debate.”—Jared, [22:20]
  • “All this says is, there’s a problem with you.”—Jordana, [26:44]
  • “A good manipulator uses truth and then weaponizes it.”—Jared, [32:03]
  • “You’re putting them in like a weird position. He seems just like a kind of annoying, weird guy.”—Jordana, [41:16]
  • “This guy’s being icky.”—Jordana, [43:29]

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Episode Flow & Tone

• Conversational, irreverent, and probing.
• Hosts balance empathy (for listener dilemmas and dating insecurity) with sharp, comedic critiques—especially for attention-seeking “dating coaches” online.
• Throughout: emphasis on realness, vulnerability (the unself-congratulatory kind), and the necessity of being forthright but kind in dating exchanges.

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Summary

This episode is classic U Up?: hilarious, sharp, and honest about dating ick moments and the real dangers of performative self-improvement on social media. The breakdown of viral influencer dating advice spotlights how internet “vulnerability” can be weaponized into rage-bait—contrasted with genuine, sometimes messy, dating vulnerability as displayed in the listener’s story. The episode closes with a reminder that in both love and content, authenticity wins out over grifting—“We solved dating… again.”

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. The week between Christmas and New Year's.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Where time and space and calories don't exist. Does work happen? Does it not happen? This is that week that feels a little weird, like you should be doing a little bit more. You might be on a walk just to get away from it all.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you got us in your ears. We want to thank you for making us a part.

[A]

It's a big reflective week.

[B]

I feel like huge reflective week. How am I going to. What's going to be new for me in the new year? How. This is the week where you start making your list. What is the. What are the changes I need to make? And a lot of people. It turns into, you know, the biggest download day of the year.

[A]

Yes. Once we get to January. We'll talk about that next week.

[B]

We'll talk about next year. Next week. As a next year. Next week. I hate those people.

[A]

See you next year.

[B]

See you next year.

[A]

I'm gonna say that to you tomorrow. But I won't see you till next year.

[B]

Yeah. See me, you'll say at the end of this episode.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's how weird this week is. You don't know what day.

[A]

Yes. If there's anything you wanted to accomplish in 2025, it's probably too late.

[B]

It is definitely too late. You're not going to lose 50 pounds today. It ain't happening, though. Sorry to be. I'm sorry to inform you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Maybe 2020 isn't happening.

[A]

2026 will be your year. Maybe.

[B]

Was it your year in 2020? Is there another episode in this year? Because this could be conversation we could be having.

[A]

I think there's a New Year's Eve episode.

[B]

There's a New Year's Eve episode. So we will leave these questions that make you depressed to next episode.

[A]

Yes. For now, we're still having some fun. It's Boxing Day. I don't really know what that means.

[B]

Boxing Day.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What is Boxing Day?

[B]

Is that British Christmas originated from. From giving gifts to servants in the poor. Evolving the major day to like, post Christmas shopping sales. So, like, you know, so we went from giving to the poor to, hey, I need some extra money on the discounts. That's crazy. Although you. I always knew it as a UK holiday that was that. Ours is Black Friday, theirs is box.

[A]

Well, it makes sense. I feel like now everyone wants to get rid of all their Christmas inventory of that now that everyone's done buying gifts for people.

[B]

Oh, I go shopping after Christmas is over. That's why. That's when me, I go to the.

[A]

Store for the sales.

[B]

Get all the sales.

[A]

Yeah. Nothing worse.

[B]

Cash in.

[A]

Nothing worse than like going to the mall on like December 23rd and you forget.

[B]

As a Jew, you forget. You go to the mall. You're like, what is going on here? And it's like. And then you hear jingle bell, jingle bell. You're like, oh, the mad rush. I never should have been here today. Yeah, I've done that before for.

[A]

Yeah, bad idea.

[B]

So are you doing anything? But. So like right now, like baby mode.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it like how I have a.

[A]

Lot of to do, right?

[B]

You got like. You got the run up coming like this is like happening.

[A]

Sneaking up on me.

[B]

Holy. We're gonna be a parent. I'm gonna be an uncle.

[A]

I know.

[B]

What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?

[A]

Are you ready?

[B]

Nervous? I don't know.

[A]

Have you prepped?

[B]

I haven't. I haven't done. I haven't read the books. I don't know what to do.

[A]

I thought you were gonna be my labor coach.

[B]

I could be, yeah. I only know labor via sitcoms.

[A]

Oh, that's funny. Well, my mic, they always had The.

[B]

Lamaze class episode of every sitcom. And then, like, no one goes to the classes.

[A]

No, I don't think. I. I wasn't sure, but then I asked my friends. I'm like, because. Because the. The doctors will be like, oh, if you want to take, like, the class, like, you can sign up here for the class. And I texted my friends. I'm like, did you guys take, like, the class?

[B]

No.

[A]

They were like. They were like, no, why would we take the class?

[B]

They're like, oh, my God, it's gonna happen.

[A]

It's coming out one way or another. So, like.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Why would. Why would you take the class?

[B]

Yeah, man. That is one of those things. I call it the punch bowl theory. Like, things you see on TV that aren't real.

[D]

Right.

[A]

That you think are, like, super legit.

[B]

Right. You've seen every show had a punch bowl at a dance, and it got, you know, spiked, and, oh, we're all drinking from the punch bowl. I'd never seen one punch bowl in my life.

[A]

Right, right. Every.

[B]

Every TV show had, like, the boss at an interview. You got the job. I've never had an interview go that way. We're like, you're right. You got the job.

[A]

Right. You get like, an email a week later with, yeah, yeah.

[B]

There was no.

[A]

Or you hear nothing. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No TV show ever showed you what it was like to go for an interview and then have nothing happen.

[A]

Yes. That and, like, when someone surprises someone with plane tickets for whenever they want to visit, which doesn't exist either.

[B]

Buying someone plane tickets, I'd be like, I don't even know. I'd be anxious even to think about an actual ticket.

[A]

That used to be a thing.

[B]

Well, the actual. You're right. The actual ticket, I mean, that was like Home Alone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They've got the tickets in their hands. Yeah. That was like an old thing, but you had to.

[A]

There was no kiosk.

[B]

No.

[A]

Or, like, phone app.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

The world has changed.

[A]

But, yeah, I got a lot of to do is me working Christmas to New Year's for me.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

The baby's coming.

[A]

Yeah. Couple.

[B]

I can't believe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know how we're going to handle this. This is going to ruin us financially.

[A]

The three of us. Yes. I don't know how. The three of us. Well, you know, maybe if. If I'm not able to go pick up the baby from where the surrogate is.

[B]

Yeah, you'll just.

[A]

You can go with Mike.

[B]

I'll go with Mike.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll bring V. We'll videotape the whole thing. It'll be my new backstage behind the scenes. If. If you can't go, I. I might take. Yeah, this is.

[C]

Maybe.

[B]

I mean, that would be Jared being like, maybe.

[A]

I mean, listen, the YouTube. I think the YouTube would do very well.

[B]

Would you. I don't. You wouldn't be up for that. If I brought. If I videotaped me going with Mike to pick up the baby.

[A]

You talk him through cutting this guy. You talk him through cutting the cord? No. Well. Well, the surrogate was like, you can have. You can have up to five people in the delivery room.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. That are not her. Um, so she's having her partner and then me and Mike, hopefully. And then we've got. We've got room.

[B]

There's room.

[A]

There's room. Do you want to come?

[B]

This is my podcast co host.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

That would be the funny and our producer. Producer. When is it? When are we going?

[A]

Like mid January.

[B]

So. Okay. So I would get on a flight.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Consider me a week. Maybe A week maybe.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Week.

[A]

Maybe I give it to give it like a 15% chance.

[B]

I. Higher than that. 25.

[A]

25. Okay, maybe 25.

[B]

Schedules work out like it might. There is a piece of. This is so. I mean, I. My life is all bits, so this is quite a bit.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, to show up to.

[B]

Watch there would be quite a story.

[A]

What'd you do last weekend when people.

[B]

Like, you know, I go on dates and they're like, am I going to be content? I'm like, well, at some point you will be content. Like, Like, I. I can't really not admit to that. But like, I don't go on dates for content. This is something for content where I'm like, It's a little bit like, of course I'm not like going to some randos baby being born. You know, I'm going to your baby being born. But I. There's a piece of me that's like. That would be fun and hilarious.

[A]

It probably would be.

[B]

Maybe I can keep the energy up. I'd be the energy guy.

[A]

Yeah, you're be the.

[B]

I go get coffee.

[A]

Hospital clown.

[B]

Yeah. Patch Adams put on the red nose.

[A]

Just making uncomfortable comments. Make everyone uncomfortable all the time. Micromanage. Cutting the cord.

[B]

Cutting.

[A]

Oh, I'm trying to cut the cord. I'm trying to cut her cord.

[B]

I got the cord.

[A]

Yeah, well, I'm like, I'm trying to make it a cord train where I cut her cord. My cuts my cord.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

Do a.

[B]

Like a human Centipede situation?

[A]

Basically, yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow. Okay. I didn't even know that was like, you a thing. You cut the cord. Does it hurt the person?

[A]

I think that's a. I think that's a thing.

[B]

Have you ever seen that? Tik Tok.

[A]

I know. I don't think it. I don't think they feel it. I would.

[B]

It's your body. It's your cord, but it's like it.

[A]

That's a good question. I don't think you would feel it.

[B]

I don't think cutting someone's body felt.

[A]

It needs to be cut, though.

[B]

There's doctors. We have doctors that listen to the show, which I can't believe, and they're like, listening like, oh, you idiots, shut up.

[A]

Is it. I. I hope it's not hard to go. Could you cut it raw?

[B]

You know, these things.

[A]

I've never had one before. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, I haven't either.

[A]

Ask your parents.

[B]

They won't. My parents don't know anything about. About anything.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Maybe I'll come.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right. This is a week maybe I. I do. Have I answered these questions.

[A]

It's a week maybe. To a. To a weak invitation, I would say so. We'll see.

[B]

This might be an invitation.

[A]

I mean, I probably. I probably want to discuss it with Mike.

[B]

He does have a word before giving.

[A]

You, you know, a full time.

[B]

Let's get further.

[A]

I think he pretty fun, but yeah, I might want to discuss it with Surrogate.

[B]

You know what's funny? Hey, you're like, what? This isn't.

[A]

I'm not. I'm not a lock. I'm like, right.

[B]

Well, yeah, no, it's fair. There's. There's people that these. This needs to go through. It's funny though, too. Like, you and I live in this weird world, you know, where everything is content. Everything. Well, everything is like, to be joked about, right? And everything is just kind of weird. Like, it's never been done this way. Like, you know, like, we're the first, you know, podcast 30. We're just talking about, like, you had the tickets for the airplane, Mike and like, has to kind of go through this, like, normal world of like, question. Like, his questions are totally valid, right? Like, he'd have to, like, go to his parents and be like, yes, so Jared's going to the delivery room and they'd have to. And he'd have to answer their questions like, where. That would be annoying if I were Mike.

[A]

Like, I be like, there's right that.

[B]

There'S all these and then the mom going, who would think that's funny?

[A]

Yeah. Or I mean just having to explain that to like anyone.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I think.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. We're going to go pick up the baby. Oh, that's so great. Yeah. So it's just you and Jordana. He's like at the office and he's.

[A]

Telling you, you know, there's also comedian. We brought a. Instead of a, instead of a doula or midwife, we decided to bring a single 40 year old comedian who has.

[B]

No relation to the top of.

[A]

No, no expertise on birth at all. But it's just going to make uncomfortable commentary.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. Well let's see what happens.

[A]

That would be fun.

[B]

It would be fun. It would. I would enjoy myself.

[A]

That would be like my favorite thing to tell my mom cuz she wants desperately to be invited to come and I'd be like, sorry, there's no room.

[C]

We're at our capacity.

[B]

Cuz who's.

[C]

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[A]

Literally.

[C]

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[D]

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[C]

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[B]

What are we talking about today? It's a Friday. Feels again that weird week. We, you know, some podcasts take this week off. I just want to make sure people.

[A]

Not us, we were offered.

[B]

It's. We were offered, we said no, we said nope. We, like, we have never taken a week off on this show. We want to make sure that it's not enough that we succeed, it's that others fail. So we want you to know that if your podcast took a week off this week with like a best of episode, they don't care about you. There we go. So just to let you know, we care about you so much that we ask of you this. Share, share, share. Tell a friend, Tell a friend, Tell a friend. Share comment. Like all the things, put it on your Instagram story. I, you know, I kind of consider that form of payment.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

There's ways to pay for this show. You can support the sponsors, they give you, you know, they give you promo codes and all that stuff. You can join the subscription service. That's a, that's a really like kind of straight line to payment. You pay a fee, you get the episodes early, you get no ads. You can watch it or you can, you get our benefits episodes. That's a way to pay. All of this involves goods for services. Like, I feel comfortable saying this because we have a great product here. If you like our Instagram post. If you post it to your stories. I consider that payment too. If you comment on YouTube or Spotify, that is payment to me.

[A]

So.

[B]

And if you even just text a friend, hey, this part of this episode was really funny. You should take a look. I consider that a full on payment for the enjoyment we're offering here. So. And I, I like to make this in money terms because some people feel uncomfortable with the topic. I don't.

[A]

I don't either.

[B]

So those are all great ways to love and enjoy this podcast and make sure that you spread the word. And let me just say thank you for listening. We love doing it. So we don't just come in here because we don't want to be here. This is great.

[A]

Yeah. And because this is a weird week we're doing, we're going to start off with a weird video.

[B]

Let's start with a weird.

[A]

And she showed to. She showed to me this morning. You're about to see it.

[B]

I haven't seen it yet. This is going to be a live reaction to these algorithm. Remember this is on these algorithm.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

However weird this is, this made me.

[A]

This video made me uncomfortable. I'm excited to get into it.

[B]

Okay, let's see it.

[A]

So basically this video. Just a little context before we get into the video. The video is by a sky named Ricky. He's a Canadian influencer. He posts real life vlogs about dating life. Yes. Ricky Canuck Rose real life vlogs about dating life and self improvement. He's 35. He works from his family construction business.

[B]

Sounds like this guy's going to be a real fun hang.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And he writes a lot about how he's actively looking for a wife and talking about not settling. And he's. He was on Matchmaker Maria's podcast. Apparently he said that a first date should be a mar. Should be a marathon date. And the best date I've heard this.

[B]

Guy'S advice, no coffee dates.

[A]

Expect more from men. So I had never heard of him. He has like over 300,000 followers, so he's fair game for us to make fun of.

[B]

Sure. He's putting his head Pretty brutal.

[A]

Yeah. And I saw that. I had never heard of him before, but, but I, I got a chance to see this video and we're going to watch it and do some reactions. Do you want to bring that here just so we could like see it? I feel like there's.

[B]

Yeah, I can see it.

[A]

You could see. I've already seen it. So you can leave it. Yeah, you could leave it there if he can.

[B]

Good Looking dude, Dating expert.

[A]

He looks like he's in a gondola.

[B]

He does look like he's in a guy. He's very Canadian.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Off in the Canadian mountains in the Rockies.

[A]

And we're going to play his. His little video end of the year video.

[B]

It's what?

[A]

It's his end of the year video.

[B]

End of the year.

[A]

Yeah. So it's. We're going to, we're going to get into it.

[B]

And he's a dating expert. He says family construction.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

He's the. He's a foreman.

[A]

He talks about dating a lot.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Talks about dating.

[B]

Okay, hold on. The real weird. And I'm single and I normally don't share this. So he's about to be vulnerable.

[E]

I normally don't share this. But since I'm going to stop talking about dating in 2026, I might as well let you guys know because I've known this for a very, very long time and it's quite simple. It's a tough pill to swallow, but I can do it because I like to think I'm fairly self aware. So before you comment anything, watch till the end, the very end of this video. So the real honest reason why I'm single is because I'm into women who are just out of my league. Simple as that. My standards are so high that it's not attainable. For the current version of myself, I'm going after women who are being chased after by professional athletes, musicians, billionaires, mega entrepreneurs, just male models, people who are better looking than me, have more money than me, probably more emotional, mature than I am, probably more mentally stable than I am, probably way richer than I'm, or maybe even all of the above. And that's okay because I'm self aware enough to know that now here's where a lot of you are gonna be like, well, you know what? Then maybe you should lower your standards. And I've heard it a million times. And my answer to that is absolutely not. I will never lower my standards. This is not what we should be teaching society, that if you can't get what you want, instead of working harder to go get it, you should just aim lower. Absolutely not. Instead of aiming lower and lowering my standards, why don't I just become a better man? Why don't I just improve on the areas that I need to improve so I can get the type of women that I want to get? And now this is the tough pill to swallow for a lot of music's working. It was for myself as well. Sometimes you can Want something so bad and think you're good enough to get it, but the world doesn't think so. That's where you need to be self aware, look in the mirror and have those deep conversations with yourself, maybe through therapy or whatever else it is, and say, hey, maybe I'm just not good enough right now. Maybe let me put in the work. Let me disappear for six months. Let me get to work. Let me put my head down. Work so damn hard that the version of myself that I am right now won't even recognize the new version I become. And this is coming from someone who is, in their opinion, my personal opinion. I'm in one of the best places I've ever been in my entire life. For my age, I believe I'm exactly where I need to be. Emotionally, physically, financially, like, mentally, I'm exactly where I think I need to be. But apparently I'm not in the eyes of some of the women that I. So that's why I'm proud when I can't get my. My perfect person, my future wife. If everyone's like, oh, you can't get. I can, I can get a girlfriend. If I lowered my standards, I can get 1 million. But I will not lower my standards. And I will never teach my future kids to ever lower their standards. If you want something, you go and get it. Work your freaking ass off and become the version of yourself that you need to do to go get it.

[B]

Anyways, Anyways.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Almost there. He was never even close.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I knew what he was doing from minute one.

[A]

The sound, the music. How do you put the music on that thing with a straight face is just like, he's.

[B]

But he's self aware.

[A]

He's self aware. He's self. Or self proclaimed self aware. Yes.

[B]

Yeah. This is a manipulative person. That's why he has a following. He is manipulating the audience. And what he's doing is he's speaking.

[A]

This is not well, in my opinion, but I guess maybe it works for some people.

[B]

It works online because all he has, you know, he brings up buzzwords, right? And he brings up very disagreeable things like. And. And he's doing the, like the flip, you know, where he's like, this is why I have a problem. He's making himself right.

[A]

He's trying to pretend to be vulnerable.

[B]

Just like all you losers. I'm a loser. And you know I'm not, but I'm not. I'm doing okay, but I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna date Other losers like me just because you lose, you know, because other people settle for losers like me. He's like, being false, falsely self deprecating. Yeah, all of it is like, I'm.

[A]

Doing great for my age, but.

[B]

Right. You know, this is like. I mean, like, you know, like the. The dictionary, you know how they do like a word of the year. Yeah, this should be the video. The word of the year this year was rage bait.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I like that.

[B]

That was the word of the year. The phrase of the year. Rage bait was the 2025 word of the year. And to me, this is the video that goes under it. Because this video is made specifically to gain two sides of a debate. Like, he doesn't like all that. He doesn't believe. Like, that's like the craziest video I've ever seen.

[A]

You know what part dot you think he believes?

[B]

None of it. I think none of it.

[A]

What do you think he actually believes?

[B]

This is a mathematical equation of how do I get more followers to get people, like, angry? Like, well, we all go towards what gets you the views. Okay, so the views. The way you get views is get people arguing. So they're going to get people going. Never lower your standards. Because I'll never. Like, he'll get equally crazy people or people that he's trying to manipulate to go, I'll never lower my standards. And like, the whole thing falls on its face when he's like. He's like, he. And I read this. So I read this. You put this. Like, this was in our. I had notes on this guy and I thought it was an email.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And. And my. My takeaway from the email that I thought we had was like, the way he views himself is how he views these women. Like, it's actually mean, right? Like, he's, like, actually quite insecure. It's the most insecure thing I've ever heard. This idea that I don't have enough. I don't. I'm not rich enough. And he's also creating straw women. They don't exist.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Because they're only interested in billionaires.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Who?

[B]

Name the woman. Name the woman who turned you down because she said, I'm interested in.

[A]

This is who I'm competing with.

[B]

Right? You're competing with who? He never names names because they don't exist. I can do this with. People do this on stage all the time. Do you think he doesn't believe I was in a coffee shop in Brooklyn, this hipster who was wearing this sweatshirt and that. And you Know, you just paint a picture and then you go, right, isn't that guy a piece of shit? And it's like, that doesn't. Person doesn't exist. It's lazy writing, it's lazy comedy, it's lazy. It's not vulnerable. It actually like enrages me. I'm getting more and more angry as I talk about this, this guy.

[A]

Here's my question to you and it's.

[B]

Why this podcast, to me, like we're sitting here being vulnerable and being honest and like there's no win for us, right? I mean it's a, was a pretty popular show. We're very self aware. You could, you know, we could, yeah.

[A]

We could have any show we want, right? We could, you know, but we don't want just any.

[B]

But these people out there, they just want to turn us down, you know, because we don't have enough money.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Well, here's my question to.

[B]

You look like he was going to turn around. I'm sorry? You look like he's going to turn around and start directing planes into the airport with his orange jacket.

[A]

Well, let me, I have a question for you. Is this like a sentiment that some men do feel, but don't say out loud of like I, I my type or the, the kind of woman I want, is not interested in me, wants a guy who's more successful, more, I.

[B]

Guess, whatever losers do. Like, I don't really kind of like.

[A]

Like I need to get to, I need to better myself to get this woman to be attracted to me instead of these other guys.

[B]

I think there's another way of thinking about it that's more vulnerable, that's actually more honest. And I've mentioned it here, I've talked about it, right? This guy's like right on the, like you said, he's like right on the inch. He's right, right on the, like the goal line of like an actual point, right? Which is like, okay, what does create value? Like, I knew he was going to say high value woman. I knew he was going to say that.

[A]

Like, did he say that he had.

[B]

At the end he said high value woman, which I knew was coming. Like in the world. Anyone who says I value anything, what does that mean?

[A]

Left off, what is high value? Hot.

[B]

Again, it's a vague phrase description, right? That only enrages people, right? Because then you go, what is it the natural thing? What is it?

[A]

Hot women?

[B]

Well, here's the thing. What he's talking about the way men are looked at in society. So like, is sure. Do you Have a job? Are you able to provide? Like, those are very old school ways to think about it. But they're true today. Like we look at the, you know, the ick. A lot of women get the ick. And a lot of their icks kind of revolve around like a man kind of not being manly.

[A]

Emasculating quality.

[B]

Right. They fall over. So they look, you could trace it all back to.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

They can't provide or protect. And those are all real things that women are attracted to.

[A]

Right. In the same way that men are attracted to good looks.

[B]

Right. But when you put a number on it.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Like societally, nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with admitting to that. But to say, well, there's this tier of women where I don't have enough.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because then what's enough? And it's like, this is like a. And this is a good looking dude who knows how to put a few sentences together. Like, he doesn't believe any of this.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, and he goes, I'm financially fine. I'm at the best place I've ever been. So if you're at the best place you're ever in and you're good with yourself, then what is this?

[A]

Right? Well, to me, all this says is there's a problem with you. Not that you're aiming too high, but that what you're looking for are these extremely superficial things that, that these women you're looking for are also going to be looking for those things. Right?

[B]

Right. How you see yourself is how you see the world.

[A]

Right? So it's like you don't think you're good enough because that's all you care about.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So you're angry at these women, hypothetical women, for thinking you're not as successful as a famous musician billionaire.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But you only want them because you guys both value the same things.

[B]

And now what's he doing? Like, I. What's he doing? DMing, you know, like, is he DMing like Carly Kloss? Like, is he like.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm trying to, I don't even know, to put a name behind it, like, makes it annoying. Like, I'm just saying, like, is he deeming a supermodel that is like a famous, like Heidi Klum type?

[A]

Right. He's mad. Like, I'm never gonna lower my standards. Right.

[B]

Okay. Like I, I guess.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't know who he's DMing. And then putting himself against, I don't know, the whole thing makes me depressed.

[A]

I Like, it just seems like such a huge loser. It's like, if I.

[B]

This guy's gonna watch every word that we talk about.

[A]

Totally. No, if I saw a video that, like, Mike had put up, like, that I would like him. I just think it's such a losery, like, sad way of, like.

[B]

But this is looking at the world, right? It is a. It is. I mean, you know the whole thing about looks and the money and you go. And we live in a world right now where it's very easy to compare, just because social media, you can go watch anyone's account and see how they live. So the. I do understand the idea of, like, do I have. I made enough. And going down this road with a specific person. Like, if he had a story of, hey, I went on a date with this girl, and she was like, you can't provide for me. Like, we watched that movie with the movie Materialist. The Materialist was kind of on the subject of, like, what do you go with? Like, with a woman deciding between, you know, being secure financially or being.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Wildly in love with a guy who caters a wedding.

[A]

Yes. And what I. And what I said in that movie was, like, it's okay to want something in between.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's okay to want to date someone who, at 40, has their own apartment. That doesn't. That's not the same as, like, you must date the billionaire who owns the whole building. Like, valuing financial security and being like, I'm settling by not dating the CEO of Amazon are two different things.

[B]

This guy ruins the dating conversation. I just. I don't even know. I'm sorry. I've heard of this guy. Only because I think he. He went on Matchmaking Maria's podcast, and he had this whole thing about marathon dates. I was like, none of this even makes sense. It doesn't even come from, like, a proper place. Like, I don't. I'm not saying I'm better than him. I'm just saying I think you are. Well, I think I'm being more honest. I'm allowing myself to be. I'm not. This is. To me, this is a grifter. This is a snake oil salesman. This is a scam. This is the male side of dating that takes over the Internet conversation. That I think is a bad actor. You don't think that.

[A]

You think this is overblown, that most men aren't thinking about who is the highest value woman? And again, like, I don't think. I think that anyone who's talking in those terms is, like, an anomaly. Like loser, weirdo, but like guy who's like, I could, I could attract a. I could attract a better looking, better woman if I had more success.

[B]

The reason manipulative stuff like this works is because there is an ounce of truth.

[A]

Right? Well, that's what I'm asking.

[B]

Ounce of truth is the guy you're dating who says he's not ready. It's a lot to do with like, where he feels he stands and the ability to provide where he sees his life going, where, you know, the path he's on. This is why I think it's easier to settle maybe or settle down. Not settle, but settle down when you have, oh, okay, my. I'm working at a law firm and the next year I'll be here and the next year I'll be there and I have a plan. Like, if you're talking to a guy and he can't really tell you what his plans are, career wise, I could tell you right now it's probably low chance that he's ready to be just like whisked away in a relationship.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I think those two are correlated.

[A]

Well, that makes it more about him than about you.

[B]

That's, that's the point is that that's where this video falls off. He's like doing about them, he's making about them and how they turn him down because he's not enough. No, he thinks he's not enough.

[A]

Right. He wants to make that kind of money. He wants to be right.

[B]

He. So he's, he's putting vulnerabilities. He's saying, screw vulnerability, the vulnerable thing. And that's why I kind of like defend a lot of these guys who are like. When they're like, he's non committal. Well, there's another emotional thing going on in the male.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Like, you know, whether you want to admit that or not, they're going through something too. That's why when we have women right in here, that every man is a manipulative mastermind. And I'm like, no, he's going through his own.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And you're playing against. You're trying to figure out which way to go. And you're probably playing against yourself, you know, So I again, these things. A good manipulator uses truth and then like kind of weaponizes it.

[A]

Right. His issue is he's not good at it.

[B]

He was good enough to make, you know, he's got. Here's the thing that on TikTok, how many views that got on Tick Tock, I promise you it did pretty well. That's the Sad part. Like 15,000 likes 15,000 people who were.

[A]

Agreeing, who felt right.

[B]

Boys. Speaking of my soul, 400,000 people watched that over.

[A]

I don't even know if I would date someone who liked that video.

[B]

I wouldn't.

[D]

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[A]

All right, let's do it. If you're picky, let's do it.

[B]

Uuppetches.com Send yours in. Icky or picky is the game that is sweeping the country right now. You are dating someone, you get the ick. Is your ick valid or are you being a little picky?

[A]

Let's find out.

[B]

Go for it.

[A]

Okay Dear hi J and J. Need some advice. I, 24, female, met a guy, male, 32 at a speed dating event. We clicked immediately and he asked for my number that night. He texted the next day and bought us tickets to a holiday pop up bar.

[B]

That's fun that holiday pop up bar.

[A]

Yeah, what's that one? Rolfs or something?

[B]

Ralph's is great, but that's year round too.

[A]

Oh, is it?

[B]

Aren't they doing it year round? I mean I went to a holiday Pop up bar after my show in Columbus and they had this whole awesome like setup.

[A]

Great date idea.

[B]

Great date idea. This time. Tickets.

[A]

He got tickets. That evening while texting, he casually mentioned he had a soon to be 6 year old son. At 8pm after he already bought the tickets, I was shocked and let him know having a child was a deal breaker. Okay. Okay. The next morning at 6am he revealed he doesn't have a human child. He was joking. My friends and I were stunned. I considered canceling the date because it felt like a line was crossed. But I went anyway. The date went well and we have a second one planned. But I'm definitely wary. I felt this is a bit weird and kind of icked out. He pretends to have a kid, but it's actually his dog. Not ready to be a dog. Mom, are you ready? I'll be, I'll be her. Okay. Wow. You have a son. That's so exciting. I'm really surprised to hear you say that though.

[B]

So excited.

[A]

No. That's a no for me. I'm out. Okay.

[B]

But I'm excited.

[A]

Yeah. That's so exciting. I'm really surprised to hear that. Though I would have to say that probably is a deal breaker for me. There's a way to say that without saying that's a deal breaker for me. This is very kind of like weird.

[B]

Further opinions on this. I'm not on her side.

[A]

All right. I would have to say that probably is a deal breaker for me. I know you already bought the tickets for Thursday, so how would you like to proceed?

[B]

Winston is very sad. You don't want to see him crying face emoji. Here are a few pictures of my soon to be six year old son. And then it's a picture of the. It's a very cute.

[A]

Yeah, it's cute with a little, with a little ducky.

[B]

He's got PJs on.

[A]

Yeah, I know I said having a son was a deal breaker, but that was before I saw how cute he was.

[B]

Look at who turned her, changed her tune.

[A]

I love his little PJs. Did you two have a Christmas photo shoot?

[B]

Hahaha. Got you winking face emoji. Sorry for the little heartbreak and actually thinking I had a human child.

[A]

Not gonna lie, I was very shook at first. Haha.

[B]

What do you think?

[A]

I think the way she responded to him having a son was like quite harsh.

[B]

I agree with you.

[A]

When she thought it was a son. I know that's not the question.

[B]

With no child on the way. Felt the same Way.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So just to let people. I don't want people being like, I.

[A]

Think it's totally fine that it is a deal breaker for her, but I just think the way to say there's like a. There's like a more polite.

[B]

There's a classier way.

[A]

Classier way to say that than like deal breaker out.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, oh, I didn't know that. I like, I'm not really sure that I'm like that I'm ready to be dating someone with a kid. I know that comes with a lot of whatever. Not like fudge that.

[B]

Well, she goes, deal breaker for me. How would you like to proceed? Just totally cutthroat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Also, I have to say, you know, we love a screenshot email. We want you guys to keep sending your screenshots. How you send the screenshots to us is very important.

[A]

She's cutting some stuff out.

[B]

She cut out how we got here. And I have to assume it's for a reason to make herself look better. Do we have the other texts? But what is it? What's said before while you have a son? Like, how did he. Because I'm looking at this, it is weird to say I have a son and then the next morning be like, well, Winston's very sad and show the. The dog.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I. I just don't know how.

[A]

And I could see if he's. If he's trying to be like cheeky.

[B]

Right. And then also if I got back that response, like, deal breaker, I'm out. How do you proceed?

[A]

Right.

[B]

I'd be like, well, maybe I don't want to date her.

[A]

Well, that's my thought. Yeah.

[B]

I guess that is where I should. This is where I should tell you that I have a very soon to be six year old son. Is that a deal breaker for you? Oh, that kind of helps.

[A]

Yeah. That helps her where she's like, it is kind of actually. It is kind of.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So, yeah, I think that, I mean. And then she says, wow, you have a son. That's so exciting.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Right. This guy is annoying. It is annoying to. That he did phrase it like that.

[B]

Yeah, he kind of threw. Again, these. This is why we have the screenshots. We like to know what's going on. When you say I have a son, that is a jolting thing. You are in a position of power that you're using to.

[A]

With someone right after the date is already planned.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They both stick.

[B]

Conversation.

[A]

She looks better after the. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, no, no, no. To say this is a deal breaker. That Kind of makes sense. Everything makes more sense. But to wait until the next morning at 5:24am she did get back at 10:39. So he says, I guess this is where I tell you that I have a soon to be 6 year old son. She gets back at 10:39. So maybe if he wakes up at 5:24am to text her back, maybe he goes to bed really early. That's how he like left the conversation. It's a weird place to leave the conversation.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But if I'm to like. I don't think this is something. I don't think this is like a ick. I think it's a little picky for her. Yeah.

[A]

About him. I think it's a little icky the way he presented it where it was like clear she was like with her almost.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It does feel like a little bit of a test.

[B]

It does. Yeah. The way it's being done.

[A]

Right. I would.

[B]

You've met already. You have the day plan, you got the tickets and then you're like, oh, also I should let you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hope it's not a deal breaker. I have a son. Like that's a pretty big thing to have not told someone if you have an actual son. So I do understand where she feels like, I was lied to you.

[A]

Is that it? And then is that a deal breaker for you is also like a weird way to phrase it.

[B]

And it's also, that's something you would.

[A]

Say before you ask someone on the date.

[B]

Right now I'm getting even more icked out because it's also a way from his perspective if I'm to put myself in his shoes of like making sure she wants to be chill and casual. You think, well, you're, you know, hey, does this thing that would make this very real and serious a deal breaker for you? And then she's like, deal breaker. And he's like, oh, okay, good. It's just a dog. We can now like, it's a little bit to make sure everyone knows where we stand as a dating couple.

[A]

Yeah. And it's sort of making the whole date into a joke a little bit.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, I don't think we can. Should be like with each other before we've even met.

[B]

Yeah, well, they met. They met at the speed dating event.

[A]

Or whatever before we were like, it's just.

[B]

Yeah. I don't like, like, I guess like if I was like, is it a deal breaker that I have a disease?

[A]

Like, just so you know, I don't pay for anything on a date. I Believe in splitting? Like, is that a deal breaker? And then being like, just kidding. Weird things.

[B]

Just like, well, does it a deal breaker? I have this rare disease. And you're like, is it a deal breaker? Well, no, but is everything okay? Is there anything I should know? And I'm like, I just love to dance.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's annoying. Yeah. Like, why are you doing this to people?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're putting them in like a weird position. He seems just like a, like a kind of annoying, weird guy. I think that's more of the deal breaker.

[B]

Right. This is a tough one. And also he's 32 and she's 24, so she's already like, getting over the fact, like, I'm young, he's older, he, you know, he could have a son. Like, it's not like, you know, like, this isn't a crazy thing.

[A]

Yeah, it's not like, funny.

[B]

The more we know, the more I'm icked out by him.

[A]

I'm picked up by like this joke that he's made that isn't funny and not really well timed and in an inappropriate context. Like, if it was. If it was in person, if he did it in person and then showed her the pictures right away. Cute.

[B]

The time in between.

[A]

Oh, by the way, I didn't tell you I have a son. And then she could be like, what, you have a son? And it's like, let me show you a picture.

[B]

I do this.

[A]

That would be cute.

[B]

I. I mean, the, the time in between. The time he waited is really the icky part. Finish the bit.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You have you texted me this like, that you have a son. Let's get to the end of this so that we can, like, be uneven playing field. I don't have to like, wait up all night thinking about, like, did I miss that? Did I not hear that? Do I. How mean was I? You know, he did.

[C]

He.

[B]

He didn't write back. I said it was a deal breaker. He asked if it was a deal breaker. Yeah, it's annoying.

[A]

Yeah, I agree.

[B]

I do a thing on a date sometimes where I'll be, I'll tell my story. You know, everyone has to tell their story. And I go, yeah, well, I, you know, in 2020, I moved in with my. My then girlfriend and, you know, and since then, you know, we moved to the suburbs and we have two kids and then I just come into town and then they're like, you can see like, what? Yeah, like, and I'm like. And you know, we're married, but, you know, we have an open thing and you just see, like, the woman, like, have a moment. I go, I'm just kidding.

[A]

Right? It has to be in person. It has to be immediately dispelled. And like, I don't think that, like, if you texted that to someone, I would be. If you texted that we were gonna go on a date and you texted that to me, I would be like, this isn't. Why am I being with. Right.

[B]

And then wait until the next day. Yeah. So again, as these things go, listen, this is why we're not the dude in Canada who's just manipulating, spouting out weird. You can say when we're wrong, we can change our minds.

[A]

Yes. We. We started off one way. Changed it around.

[B]

Came all the way around.

[A]

This guy's being icky. Yeah.

[C]

All right.

[A]

We solved dating.

[B]

We did it. We solved it again. We got one more episode in the year 2025. And listen, thank you guys for listening. Thank you for telling a friend. Back next week.

[A]

Bye. Boom.

[B]

Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Give it a [e-mail] switch.

[B]

Upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to 15 per month. Required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow. 135 gigabytes of networks. Fizzy taxes and fees extra.

[D]

See mint mobile.com betches.