New Year, New Dating Rules

Summary

U Up? — New Year, New Dating Rules

Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: December 31, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively and reflective New Year’s Eve episode, hosts Jordana Abraham and Jared Freid dive into the year in review, personal milestones and losses, and most importantly—new dating resolutions and rules for 2026. They share candid stories, poke fun at themselves and each other, and answer listener dilemmas on jealousy, New Year’s plans, and dating etiquette. Throughout, they offer actionable advice with their trademark mix of honesty, humor, and vulnerability, making this an inspiring episode for anyone rethinking their approach to dating and relationships in the new year.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Year in Review: Absorbing Milestones and Making Sense of Change

[02:10–07:00]

• Reflection: Both Jordana and Jared look back on 2025, discussing major changes in their lives.
  • Jordana balances the joy of pregnancy with the grief of losing her father (“birth and loss… very cycle of life” - Jordana, [03:29]).
  • Jared processes moving, selling his New York apartment, and entering a phase of personal and professional growth.
• Emotional Realism: The hosts talk about the “gravity” and emotional discomfort of such transitional years.
  • “I felt like this was a year of forcing myself to grow up a little bit.” - Jared, [05:36]
  • Both agree that growth feels “uncomfortable” but is ultimately beneficial.

2. The Turning 40 Moment & Life Stages in Dating

[06:10–08:11]

• Jared shares how reaching 40 has him re-evaluating life and timelines, especially related to love and starting a family.
  • “If I met the love of my life tonight, I would be 60 when the kids graduated high school.” - Jared, [07:04]
• Jordana compares the male “turning 40” moment to women’s experience at 30—when the bigger questions about time and life paths start pressing.

3. Dating Resolutions for 2026

[08:21–14:01]

• Jared’s Resolutions:
  • End things quicker—no more dates where he isn’t picturing long-term potential.
    • “So just know if Jared's on a date with you in 2026, he could marry you.” – Jordana, [09:13]
  • Direct communication—if he feels something (positive or negative), he’ll say it.
  • Enjoy climaxing more—leaning into joy and not holding back physically or emotionally.
    • “Fully scream to the heavens every single time.” – Jared, [09:56]
  • Integrating romance and career—bringing potential partners on the road, not keeping life compartments separate.
  • Build intimacy and authenticity—“fart in front of one woman romantically” (a running joke about comfort and intimacy).
  • Strengthen friendships—prioritize making plans socially, not just professionally.
• Jordana’s Perspective:
  • Prepping for motherhood, she aims to keep a positive outlook, resist expectations of marital/relationship stress, and preserve fun and romance after her twins are born.
    • “My goal is… as it becomes a business, to not forget the romance part of it.” – Jordana, [21:31]
  • She discusses advice around “expecting” the first year of parenting to be hard, but she wants to approach it with excitement and gratitude.

4. New Year, New Dating Attitude: Making Goals Tangible

[14:01–22:43]

• Jared stresses that effective resolutions are actionable, not just aspirational.
  • “Some people make dating resolutions of like, I'm going to meet someone this year. Like, that's not actionable.”
• Encouragement to allow resolutions and personal boundaries to evolve with changing life circumstances.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “If I like someone, I'm going to tell them I like them. If I don't see a future, I'm going to tell them I don't see a future.” – Jared, [09:35]
• (On climaxing more) “I'm not just going to hold back anymore. Fully scream to the heavens every single time.” – Jared, [09:56]
• “When you get with me, it's the whole shebang.” – Jared, [10:51]
• “I want all farts to be heard, to be acknowledged, to be loved.” – Jared, [12:04]
• “The most, the scariest thing to me about having these two kids is that there can be like, no moment where they're not being watched by you or someone else.” – Jordana, [16:52]
• (On approaching the first year with twins) “Remember that it’s going to be fun. That it could be fun.” – Jordana, [20:20]
• “Fun seems to always be one of those things that, like, makes you look like you’re stupid.” – Jared, [19:04]

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Notable Listener Dilemmas & Advice

Pettier Prudent: Cancelling the Situationship’s Reservation

[26:27–36:31]

• Listener deletes her ex’s New Year’s Eve restaurant booking after seeing him with a new girl on Instagram—petty, or justified?
  • Both hosts find it “extremely petty,” hilarious, and straight out of a romcom.
  • “This is a scene out of the remake of the First Wives Club.” – Jared, [29:28]
  • The consensus: It’s not evil, but it is petty (“He's getting away with murder...all they do is cancel a reservation. He wins still.” – Jared, [31:42])
  • Unfollowing exes is recommended for mental health.

Relationship Ambition & Social Etiquette

[38:56–53:52]

• Listener concerned her boyfriend, though loving, lacks ambition and passively avoids paying in group situations.
  • Jordana points out: Her examples focus on appearances and social cues, rather than genuine lifestyle incompatibilities.
  • “I think all the things she's looking at are resentments. I think she's...picking at [them].” – Jared, [50:03]
  • They recommend clear communication about future goals but also validate: It is fair to end a relationship if ambition and pride ratios don’t match.

Red Flag/Deal Breaker: No New Year’s Kiss?

[56:38–62:36]

• Listener’s boyfriend refuses any public displays of affection—even on NYE.
  • “This is a weird rule.” – Jordana, [58:06]
  • Both agree compromise is key, but an inflexible stance would be a dealbreaker: “If he's like, 'This is my rule. I'm not discussing it.' That would be icky to me.” – Jordana, [62:29]

Red Flag/Deal Breaker: Kissing a Gay Best Friend

[62:38–68:39]

• Listener’s boyfriend calls a NYE peck with her gay best friend “cheating.”
  • Both find his reaction over-the-top and rooted in insecurity, not reality.
  • “In what world is a peck on the lips from your gay best friend cheating?” – Jordana, [63:32]
  • “It's so dramatic.” – Jared, [67:34]
  • Acknowledged: Feeling a bit uncomfortable is normal, but equating it to cheating is extreme and likely a red flag.

Red Flag/Deal Breaker: Staying Home on NYE

[68:41–74:29]

• Listener feels “off” that his new girlfriend spent last NYE alone at home.
  • Jordana suggests it's possibly a generational/age thing—less sad for older adults, maybe odd for someone younger.
  • Jared shares his own NYE solo experiences; the vibe depends on how it’s framed and the individual’s attitude.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• New Year’s Reflections (02:10–07:00)
• Turning 40 & Life Analysis (06:10–08:11)
• Dating Resolutions (08:21–14:01)
• Making Resolutions Tangible (14:01–22:43)
• Pettier Prudent: Deleting the Ex’s Dinner Resy (26:27–36:31)
• Relationship Ambition & Social Etiquette (38:56–53:52)
• Red Flag/Deal Breaker Game (55:08–74:29)
  • No PDA Boyfriend (56:38–62:36)
  • Kissing a Gay Best Friend (62:38–68:39)
  • Solo NYE Plans (68:41–74:29)

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Tone & Style

• Candid, Vulnerable, and Humorous: The hosts pair self-deprecating jokes with emotional honesty, making even awkward or sad moments feel relatable and light.
• Action-Oriented: Throughout, focus is on what listeners can do—from building better relationship habits to learning where to draw boundaries in love and social life.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode delivers both laughter and practical wisdom for anyone reflecting on the past year and gearing up for dating with renewed purpose in the next. With spirited banter, raw moments, and actionable insights, Jordana and Jared prove why “U Up?” remains a go-to resource for navigating modern dating’s chaos—one New Year’s resolution (or deal breaker) at a time.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

They asked Jennifer Aniston how she looks so good and she said something like positivity. And I was like, she should just say to the person, you know What, I made $20 million in the 90s. That should be the answer. Like don't say positivity. Don't fucking insult me.

[A]

Talk to someone in your own tax bracket about how they look. Hello and welcome back to the UF podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[B]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. Happy New Year to you.

[A]

Happy New Year's Eve. Not quite happy.

[B]

We're not there yet.

[A]

Not, not quite there. Happy New Year's Eve, the last day of 2025.

[B]

This is truly, I mean unbelievable that we have a. So for subscribers, right?

[A]

No, for everyone.

[B]

For everyone.

[A]

For subscribers. It's the second to last day of 2025.

[B]

OK. We'll live in the world of, you know, when this comes out generally. And It's Wednesday the 31st. I don't think we've had a episode come out or we. I guess we've have to.

[A]

I'm sure we have at some point.

[B]

I just haven't acknowledged it. But how do you feel like what are you feeling right now? How is your. How is your 20? This is such a tough.

[A]

My 2025.

[B]

Yeah, this is a tough. This is the day you get. I, I am, I, I think we're somewhat alike in this. I get reflective on. I don't get like, I don't know. I, I, I, I shed a tear for the last year. I, I get a little emotional. I'm that way with birthdays.

[A]

You're in review.

[B]

How do you feel about 2025?

[A]

I think overall, 2025 was a really good year for me.

[B]

Good.

[A]

Obviously my dad died, so it's not like the perfect year.

[B]

Yeah. So we had tries and tribes.

[A]

I cannot acknowledge that as like, you know, a, A little bit of a damper on the year as a whole.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or a lot of it. Sorry, dad.

[B]

It was a damper.

[A]

Yeah, it was. No, I mean, like saying. But I would say I, I think the pregnancy stuff has been like, a huge weight off of my Right. Psyche and body, like everything. And I've just been so grateful to have gotten to that point that I feel like that's just like the best thing to happen to me in several years. So it feels really good.

[B]

I love it. So you look, you will go back and someone says, what do you. 10 years from now, 20, 25. What do you, what do you remember most? You'll remember probably those two things.

[A]

Yeah. I would say those are the, the two things that marked the year for birth and loss.

[B]

You know, that's, yeah, it's called, it's, it's very weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's biblical. It's gravity. It's for sure. It's, yeah. It's almost Shakespeare. It's.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's very cycle of, Cycle of life.

[B]

Right.

[A]

All that other crazy stuff. But, yeah, it's been, it's been a big, big year.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I would say, I think, personally.

[B]

Yeah. That's, I feel, I feel similarly, like a lot of big things happened.

[A]

You moved.

[B]

I moved.

[A]

Did you move? You moved in 20 in. Yes.

[B]

June 1st.

[A]

Right. Halfway through.

[B]

Yeah, halfway through. I'm trying to get that tax benefit.

[A]

So now that you've done half the.

[B]

Year in New York, probably or less than or. Yeah. June 1st. Yeah. No, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot.

[A]

Maybe more than.

[B]

Yeah. Even by an hour. Whatever gets me. The tax breaks.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. No, you've. Now that you're, now that you're, you've been, you know, you've lived both this year, like, what do you, what is your analysis of. I think six months gives you a right to say what it's like.

[B]

Well, you know, I, I, you haven't done all This. I haven't done the seasons there. I think I gotta see all the seasons. But I, I, I have my opinions, you know, like, people wise, dating wise, lifestyle wise, like.

[A]

And you sold the other apartment.

[B]

I have no New York apartment.

[A]

When did you sell that? Was that this year?

[B]

A couple years ago?

[A]

Was that a couple years ago?

[B]

Because I wasn't living. I had a place in Harlem that I wasn't living in. I had a tenant, and it was this year. No, I sold it in, like, fall of 2024.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because it just, There was nothing going on with it. I ended up, you know, taking a loss of a certain sort of. And the tenant was moving out, and I didn't want to be a landlord, so I moved on from it and. Which was, you know, a relief in its own way. But then I had the apartment in the West Village that was renting, and it was, like, very simple and very. I felt like this was a year of forcing myself to grow up a little bit.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

Feels good. Feels uncomfortable. But I, it's kind of like this reorganization year that feels like I'll be gaining benefit from it in the future. Like, I think I'll look back 10 years from now and I'll go. That was the year 2025, right?

[A]

Yes. Like, you know, in the first, Sometimes the first few episodes of a series are slow, and you're like, they're getting to the, they're building up to, like, the big thing.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. That's kind of what I think it'll be right for now. It was a difficult year, you know, emotionally making decisions, having to deal with changes.

[A]

Do you think a lot of this stuff has, like, sort of stemmed from you turning 40?

[B]

I think 40. I think 40 for. I'm noticing I'm, like, keeping my ear to the ground, you know, as a comedian, you are to be a, a viewer of society and their ills and wills and.

[A]

Well, it's sort of your job is to analyze the meta. Right. And make whatever you're talking about relatable. Right, right.

[B]

And, and have a, have an opinion.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It feels like 40 for the male species is that way, you know that, like, you know that, like, what am I doing here? I think men, it's hitting them in a different way.

[A]

I think it's the, it's the female 30, a little bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or you're kind of like, I have time, but I don't have forever.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I feel like it's sort of that.

[B]

It's the first time I've ever, like, even Thought like even the other night I, I tweeted a sad thing. I tweeted, if I met the love of my life tonight, I would be 60. When the kids graduated high school.

[A]

You mentioned this. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I'm like, it is like a sad thought, but it's like I've never thought like that before. Like this idea of like doing the math on your hands. I think 40 kind of does that for men. For men. And, and I remember hearing that when I was like in my 20s. I remember I was like at a Starbucks working on probably an article for Baches. And I was talking to this woman and she had a husband and kids and we became friendly at the coffee shop. We A little bit, but not that much. No. Yeah. And she was saying like that my year, she was like referencing her age and I think she was around my age now saying, all our husbands are having this, you know, you know, wanting analysis. Analysis of their dreams and whether they did enough or whether they are they. Where they're all getting a little weird.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I see that in myself and I see that in other men around my age. You know that.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I mean, you made some moves, so if anything it's good. Pushed you to.

[B]

I do some things.

[A]

Do you have any regrets about leaving New York or. No.

[B]

No, not one.

[A]

You seem very happy.

[B]

I'm pretty happy, yeah.

[A]

Should we get into it? Let's do it.

[B]

Well, my resolution is to not feel locked in by the things I've done in the past or know the feel locked in by, you know, by doing things in a certain way in a, in my life that.

[A]

Can you give me example in dating?

[B]

So these are my resolutions for dating.

[A]

Let's hear it.

[B]

End things quicker.

[A]

I feel like you end things pretty quick.

[B]

Even quicker. Quicker. We're going to go faster. We're going even faster. You do a weekly see you later.

[A]

Yes. And what is. Okay, so when you say quicker and I'm. I'm going. Going to be the annoying person who mentions how, how resolutions can be more effective when they're time bound and like, okay, actual specific things. So like what are they now and what would you like to get them?

[B]

I would say now I have the. I go on the date where I'm like, I don't think I'm gonna end up marrying this person, but I'll still go on the date.

[A]

Okay, so you're not going on that.

[B]

I'm not going on that date.

[A]

So just know if Jared's on a date with you in 2026, he could marry you.

[B]

He sees marriage in the future.

[A]

It's possible. Okay. All right. I like that.

[B]

Anything's possible.

[A]

I like that. I would love to go on a date with a guy who practice is that.

[B]

Well, I'm going to try my best. I'm not saying it's going to work.

[A]

Out that way, but I'm going to try my best.

[B]

If I feel something, I'm going to say something.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just like the subway.

[A]

Give me an example.

[B]

If I like sub, I'm going to tell them I like them. If I don't see a future, I'm going to tell them I don't see a future.

[A]

Nice. Okay.

[B]

I'm going to enjoy climaxing more.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Good for you.

[B]

Not just going to hold back anymore. Fully scream to the heavens every single time.

[A]

Life is short.

[B]

It is too short. I am going to really perform it.

[A]

If you're listening and you go on a date with Jared in 2026, if.

[B]

You hear me in the bathroom, that means I'm having a great time.

[A]

Yes. And if you're a roommate of someone who's going out with Jared in 2026.

[B]

If you hear me, you know, growling at the moon, you'll know exactly what happened.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Take someone I like on the road.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

Someone I'm romantically with, I'm going to bring them on the road.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because I feel like, do you have.

[A]

To be, like, in a relationship to do that or you're just going to.

[B]

I'm just going to do it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I. I just feel like.

[A]

Get on the tour bus.

[B]

You're on the tour bus, kid. Let's go. I just feel like it holds me back. I kind of have this separation of, like, my life and work is so intertwined, and when I'm dating, it's an unnatural thing for me to, like, do them separately.

[A]

Right.

[B]

When you get with me, it's the whole shebang.

[A]

Got the screaming, the screaming, the loud love, mangasmic screaming. Yes.

[B]

The. The. The shows, the glitz, the glamours, the highs, the lows, the lack of ticket buyers. It's all there, right?

[A]

You get to know the real you.

[B]

You.

[A]

Who you are on the road is who you are.

[B]

It is a lot of who I am at this point. I'm going to fart in front of one woman romantically.

[A]

What? How do you do that romantically?

[B]

I'll fart. She'll go, was that you? And then I'll gently kiss her on the forehead and say, yes.

[A]

Just one woman gets this.

[B]

I haven't farted it in front of a woman in a long time.

[A]

Really? It's been a while since your relationship or more recent than that?

[B]

Maybe more recent than that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know, less recent than I'd like.

[A]

So if you have to fart and you're around a woman, what do you do?

[B]

I've been swallowing them. That's part of my growth.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

To hold them in.

[A]

You go to the bathroom?

[B]

Sometimes I go to the bathroom. Sometimes I'll do the walk while holding one ass cheek open.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I do that move.

[A]

Do you feel like this is a sign of intimacy? If you can?

[B]

Yes. That's my point, is that I'm gonna start, you know, being more me in front of the women I did. I feel like I'm holding back.

[A]

Do you hope that the woman that you date fart more in front of you?

[B]

Yeah, I would love that. Okay. Yeah. I want all farts to be heard, to be acknowledged, to be loved. More plans with friends.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm going to make an effort to plan things with friends. I don't care. The wives, the kids.

[A]

Are you willing to cancel some or not cancel, but not to. To trade off some work for plans with?

[B]

Well, yeah. Well, that's the whole point. This year with what's going on in 2026, I'm gonna have a book coming out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The hour of material that I'm doing now, like, I can kind of, like, it's. It's good enough to take on the road and do all my shows.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It needs work, but it's like. It's like having, like a classic car that can drive but probably needs some more interior.

[A]

It's not decked out yet.

[B]

Right. So I think I can take my time with it. And the special is going to come out this year at some point.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's going to come out somewhere.

[A]

It will be there.

[B]

It will be there. I'm very proud of it. I think we're very proud.

[A]

I'm very proud of it. Yes.

[B]

It's a B's J Train production.

[A]

It's such a good show.

[B]

It's a great special, you know, not just us. You know who else thinks so? My mom. Well, and I said, you're supposed to think that. And my siblings and your siblings. So all people that are pretty biased think that this special is very good.

[A]

My siblings are not biased.

[B]

Well, yeah, my mom is not that type.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Saying these are not all people who are. Yes. People.

[B]

Right. My mom's more like. I'm the most amazing person in the world.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But professionally she's not as.

[A]

But that doesn't apply to each individual achievement.

[B]

Right, right, right, right, exactly. So the special is going to come out. So I'm going to have a book come out.

[A]

Yeah. Big year. I see what you said then about 2025 being like you're building.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then everything comes out. All of the work of this year, you will see next year.

[B]

Right. So yeah, those are my resolutions.

[A]

I love those.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay. Those, I like that they're, they're very tangible and you did a lot of writing down of them. I didn't do that.

[B]

I did a lot of soul searching. You didn't prepare.

[A]

I prepared like hypothetical, like mentally, but like not like I didn't write it, but I thought I was more of a talk out.

[B]

Let's hear it.

[A]

So it's interesting because I, you know, you hear a lot of people who are in relationships and they talk about having kids in the first year of having kids is supposed to be like one of the hardest years on a marriage. So it's interesting to me because like part of me is like, I don't see why that would be like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm coming here from the before side of it and like I can understand it hypothetically, but it's just so hard to think like that would be me. I'd be like, well, that happens to those people.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I'm sure, I'm sure that's not the case.

[B]

You know, I would, I would. I have a question about that.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I would. My, you know, the, the data is as, you know, you can skew data in any direction. Sure. So like when they say something like that, I would wonder how many of those people have gone through the baby process that you've gone through.

[A]

Right. And the other stuff.

[B]

Yeah. Right. So like if I were to pull 40 women who, you know, had a surrogacy and you know, had, you know, the trouble.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That you guys went through, I would say that those women would have a different answer.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Than the women that were like just like all of a sudden we're pregnant a month after deciding.

[A]

And I thought about that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like maybe that's part of it. And I think that's probably one element which might make it better for, for us than maybe someone else or if, you know, if you're dealing with any kind of like kids are sick or whatever. Like we kind of like know how to like deal in an emergency. Ish.

[B]

And also just Your perspective.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, the perspective. Yeah.

[A]

Right. The gratitude, rather. I think that's part of it. I do think the part that that is not there is like the extensive amount of shared responsibility that comes. Like the.

[B]

Right.

[A]

At all hours of the day.

[B]

Right. You guys now have a business together, right? Yeah.

[A]

Like, you are fully, like, in, in business is kind of what it feels like.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or I mean, it's kind of what it felt like, a mini version of that with the dog, which was another reason this year was great. I'm sorry I forgot, I forgot about you, Ronnie. I'm sorry I forgot about you, Ronnie.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

And Ronnie.

[B]

Ronnie.

[A]

Yeah, no, that was really. I mean, it's fine. As soon as, like, I finished, I was like, oh, I forgot the dog.

[B]

But quite a dog owner you are.

[A]

Seriously. But I think we had a little taste of that with the dog. But I think this is a lot more. It's just kind of like the idea. The most, the scariest thing to me about having these two kids is that there can be like, no moment where they're not being watched by you or someone else.

[B]

Right.

[A]

If they're not sleeping. Right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[A]

And you can't. With the dog. We can leave in the house for like, a few hours.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Depending on what type of dog parent you are. The type that would forget about it.

[A]

Right. Like, there's, like, I feel like it's a much more intense level of, of responsibility. So I could see why you, why you get resentment built up in that. And I've heard anecdotally from a lot of friends that, like, that is a, I've seen them fight or complain about that a lot, especially in that first year when you're, like, figuring everything out. Right. Almost like your first year in business.

[B]

Well, that's, I, I, I, I was just thinking that, like, your experience with Sammy and Aileen, like, you guys have had a marriage.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

You know, you've had the baby, which is, you know, you have experience. I think that's like something working with.

[A]

People, working with people. Delegating.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Dividing responsibility.

[B]

That's right. Saying things in the right way.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, delivering a message, Communication. Yeah. I think you're like, who is more prepared to be a mom than you? You know, like, I don't think there's very many people. No one on Earth.

[A]

I'm going to go into, I'm going to go into this. So cocky.

[B]

Yeah. I think that's the only way to go.

[A]

Right.

[B]

What are you going to do go into it not confident.

[A]

I don't know. Is that. Well, part of me was like, in these resolutions, I was like, should I go in anticipate. Should I go in anticipating that it's going to be like, a hard year on the marriage and then not have my expectations be out of whack, or should I go in thinking it's going to be fine and it will be fine?

[B]

How about it's gonna be fun. I know, I know that.

[A]

I know. I think it's good. I'm excited. I'm so excited for it that I.

[B]

Feel like I'm director on this TV show.

[A]

I'm so excited for it that I feel delusional.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because everyone's like, oh, wow. Too, like, oh, no.

[B]

I hate when people do that. Yeah, I know. Exactly.

[A]

You're going to be busy.

[B]

Here it comes. Oh, my God. It's going to be horrible. And you're like, how about, I'm going to have a good time with it. I. The party's coming. I To me, season two. This is season two of Jordana and Mike. You know, like, this is.

[A]

I also have done a lot of leg work to get to 2026.

[B]

Yeah, you've done a lot of the stuff, so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I, I, I understand. I don't know. Fun seems to always be one of those things that, like, makes you look like you're stupid.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Have a great time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What you're not even worried about. You have to worry about all the sleep you're gonna miss out on. It's like, yeah, I kind of have that.

[A]

Like, Right. Well, if you met someone who's graduating college and they were like, yeah, I'm starting a job next year. It's gonna be great.

[B]

Right? You might be like, what, you're about to question everything.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah, no, I, I know what you mean.

[A]

It's kind of how I feel. Like, other people are looking at me like, yeah, I'm so excited.

[B]

They're like, I remember.

[A]

Are you sure?

[B]

I remember going on interviews when I was like. And I would go on interviews in New York City, like, to. Because I wanted to work in New York.

[A]

Like, I'm a real person. I'm gonna, like, go to my job.

[B]

And it's gonna be fun. And then in the interview, the person would be like, well, where are you gonna live? And I'd be like, how about, that's not your problem.

[A]

We'll figure it out?

[B]

Yeah, like, I, I'll live where I'll sleep on the street. Do you have a Job or not. Like, and I was like, you don't need to do that for me. I, I'll figure out the, you know, the bad parts. We're all gonna get through because we're human, you know? I think you're gonna have fun.

[A]

I think I'm gonna.

[B]

Big, huge mansion with these two babies and a dog and a husband and.

[A]

Everyone really coming together.

[B]

You got weird Uncle J train popping.

[A]

In like Kramer popping in with, with, with ones with cute onesies.

[B]

Cute onesies. Bogo babies.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Gonna take them to Florida to, To hang out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, I think it's gonna be fun. I guess, like, my resolution around or my goal, if I'm thinking about that, is to, like, remember that it's going to be fun. Yeah. That it could be fun.

[B]

Remind yourself.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I mean, that's what they all say. You look at all the pictures of people whose kids are older, they go, oh, these, these, they cherish those moments. I mean, your sister talks like that on the podcast a lot.

[A]

Oh, totally. Yeah.

[B]

She's always, like, wishing you can hear her wistful, Right. For the baby time when they need you.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now she's in, like, you know, like, pre tween. Right.

[A]

Her.

[B]

I don't know how, but it seems like.

[A]

Yeah. Your kids are 8, 12 and 13. Right.

[B]

The 12 and 13. It seems like the two girls, she's like, I'm about to lose them, right? To, to hating me and being, you know, maybe teenage girls the way.

[A]

Although I can't see you hating Naomi. She's, like, so sweet. I, I, maybe they would, I don't know. Their kids. Yeah.

[B]

Who doesn't get annoyed with their mom?

[A]

That's true. Yeah.

[B]

Like, who on earth amongst us?

[A]

So I guess, I guess my goal then is, as it becomes a business, to not forget the romance part of it.

[B]

Well, I like that.

[A]

I think, because, like, it is, you know, when you're in a business, you kind of, like, are all like, action.

[B]

Right, right, right, right. It's all like, we gotta get to the next thing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Succeed or hit our goals. Get to the, you know, Right.

[A]

When you're under, it feels like you're a little underwater.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And so.

[B]

Hear that, Mike? You're going to be loudly climaxing this year.

[A]

There you go. There you go.

[B]

The romance, it's a, it's a, it's a.

[A]

You can borrow your New Year's resolution.

[B]

Take it. It's yours.

[A]

Yes. Just don't wake up the baby.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

The baby is.

[B]

How could you? Was That a baby crying or am I coming?

[A]

There you go. Happy New Year, Mike.

[B]

Happy New Year. Well, this is exciting. I think this is an inspirational episode for anyone listening, I think. So we're going to jump right in. We're going to do a couple emails, but this is. I'm.

[A]

I like your res. I didn't get a chance to really like get into your. I think your resolutions are great because they're all like, very actionable. Yeah, some people make resolute dating resolutions of like, I'm going to meet someone this year. Like, that's not actionable. Really, like, this is like, I'm here, like five, four or five things you were talking about, with maybe the exception of the climaxing of like, things that are tangibly going to help me. Well, get to the next step.

[B]

You know, my issue isn't meeting people right. It's giving those people the attention that I would like to give them.

[A]

Right. So your lights on again?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. Okay. This episode is sponsored by Abercrombie. If you're heading home for the holidays, Abercrombie has you covered. Their new winter collection has everything to keep you looking put together, even when your schedule is anything but. Their matching sweatsets are basically your holiday uniform. Cozy, cute and perfect for the airport if you have a lot of travel ahead. And back home you've got family dinners, festive nights out, running errands and last minute shopping. No problem. Cozy sweaters and Abrombi denim fits every plan and every vibe. Honestly, the holidays are hectic enough, so Abrombi just makes looking great way easier. I love all of my Abercrombie sweatpants and sweatshirts. I have this amazing like grout fit sweatpants zip up combo. It is the softest, most comfortable thing. I wear it everywhere. I wear it to do my errands, I wear it to brunch. Literally. I cannot wait to get home and put them on. So check them out. Get your holiday style sorted with Abercrombie. Abercrombie drops new arrivals every week. Shop in the app, online or in stores.

[C]

This message may be shocking to many millennials. If you are one, you might want to sit down. Right now, loads of people are searching the following on Depop Low rise jeans, halter top, velour tracksuit, puka shell necklace, disc belt. You likely place these in the dark of your closet in 2004, never to be seen again. But if you can find it in yourself to dust them off, there are a lot of people who will give you money for them. Sell on Depop where taste recognizes taste.

[B]

Let's do a pettier proof.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Uuppages.com and if you're. If you're watching, listening wherever you are going to be in San Diego this whole week. I'm doing seven shows in San Diego tonight for New Year's Eve through the weekend. I always say this. If you've been to my shows and you had a good time and you know someone in the area that I'm going to be doing another show, let them know. Tell a friend, tell a cooworker, a brother, a sister, a mama, a papa.

[A]

You'Re in San Diego.

[B]

San Diego tonight.

[A]

What a nice place to spend.

[B]

Truly. I'm staying at Tor Pines. I'm staying at a golf course that's like a. Like a famous golf area. I'm going to be golfing tomorrow and the next day. So I got two nights at Tor Pines. It was a little expensive, so I'm doing two nights at another place.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I'm excited about it.

[A]

Good. You deserve it.

[B]

I just thank you.

[A]

You worked hard this year.

[B]

I did.

[A]

You should do four nights at Tory. Tory Pines.

[B]

Maybe I switch it up. Maybe I just stay there the whole week.

[A]

I think you should stay there. You deserve it. You got.

[B]

That's a good point.

[A]

You got just do yourself to pay for. I think you can live a little.

[B]

Little. Little. Okay, deal. No tuitions to all you guys in San Diego. You know exactly where I'm staying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I'm gonna be in Philadelphia.

[A]

You want to pay for his room?

[B]

If you want to add to my.

[A]

GoFundMe call ahead and papers room.

[B]

Yeah. Philadelphia, Baltimore, Tampa, Georgia, Charleston. I just added Beach Mountain, North Carolina. That sounds like a fake place.

[A]

It does.

[B]

Sounds like a ski mountain in North Carolina.

[A]

Oh, do you. You don't ski.

[B]

I have ski.

[A]

You have. Right. We discussed this. You have skied. You don't ski. I'm kind of the same.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I'll be there for one night though. So I don't think I'm gonna get on the mountain. But Beach Mountain, North Carolina, it's incredibly difficult to get to. So whoever wants please come. Please come. Boston. We added a second show in Boston. Dallas, Houston, New York, Toronto, Vancouver, Seattle, Tempe. That's the rest of my.

[A]

My Tempe.

[B]

Tempe.

[A]

2025 year I learned how to say Tempe.

[B]

Good for you. All right, let's do.

[A]

Let's do a petty or prudent.

[B]

Let's do a petty or print.

[A]

Let's do it. Hi, J and JJ. Love the pod and wondering if you're gonna love this petty or prudent I have for you.

[B]

We'll see.

[A]

I, 32, female, have been working the last two months at a super hard to get into restaurant in New York City. Give us the name.

[B]

Yeah, we want the deets.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. You can't say super hard so that.

[A]

We can know if we should like email you to get into it.

[B]

Yeah, we want. I want in. I want the perks. This. Why even have a podcast if I can't get into restaurants?

[A]

Well, I understand why she's not writing it in the email from reading the rest of the email.

[B]

Yeah, I've read it.

[A]

But you should let us know on the side.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you're still speaking to us after our answer.

[B]

Yeah. Because I don't think you're gonna like the answer.

[A]

Right. Okay. Anyway, so I. I've been working the last two months at a super hard to get into restaurant in New York City. And tis the season for booked and busy little backstory. I broke up with a situationship after three years from for good. Pat's back in early September. That is a long time. He was awful at planning being fully present and honestly just made me realize I want a relationship where we're growing together. So bye. It's over.

[B]

Love it. Good for you.

[A]

Yes. The thing is, when I said bye, it's over, I didn't exactly do so on social media. We still follow each other on Instagram and last week I saw him post a girl to his story kissing her cheek. This man never posted me even my pinky. So a little upsetting, but. Oh well, this would bother me too.

[B]

I. This guy. I. This is why this is just so funny to me. How dare you like his lack of like, we're broken up, whatever, knowing that it's like over. And yeah, I would be feeling my new girlfriend give me a smooch. It's like there's some woman out there just enraged.

[A]

I feel like you would think about that woman who was enraged you've been sleeping with for three years.

[B]

I know too much. This is the reason for my resolutions, okay? I know way too much. I. There is no way I would be concerned if I was this guy with this woman.

[A]

Right?

[B]

The anything I posted. That's the reason to unfollow on social media, to block. To mute all these things. But I as he should be right.

[A]

Okay, now for my pettier prudent moment, I was randomly reviewing our New Year's Eve reservations At work. And guess who has a reservation? Mr. Situationship 4 2. So what did I do? I secretly deleted it. I heard from a colleague that he ended up calling the restaurant saying he got a cancellation. And since no one knows I did it, they told him they couldn't help because cancellations only happen if the restaurant gets a call or someone cancels online and they can't help him as the reservation is already filled. He was very upset and I see no real foul because it's not like he was charged. So petty or prudent. I was never taken out on a date. So I canceled his New Year's Eve plans and with his new girl. Happy New Year to me. Peace sign.

[B]

I love this petty of prudent.

[A]

I mean, this is obviously so petty.

[B]

It's the most petty.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's why I love it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It's. It's actually a scene out of the remake of the First Wives Club.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's all I thought.

[A]

Such a good movie.

[B]

This whole. That movie's great. It is dated, but it is still great. This is the remake. Works at a trendy New York restaurant. She's a high flying, you know, hot. Working the reservation counter. She's on Instagram, sees him kissing another girl. She. He would never make a plan. My pinky wasn't even in his story. And then she's like, delete to the reservation. He calls, which is like. So the next scene in the movie, right?

[A]

Where he's furious, right?

[B]

And it's like. And she's sitting there going, well, I never got a date, so he won't either.

[A]

Like, right?

[B]

It's Bette Midler. Like, it's like, right?

[A]

It's such a great. Yeah.

[B]

It's so vivid, right? I love this. But it's petty.

[A]

No, it's extremely petty. Is it like evil? Is. Is it the worst thing you could ever do to someone? No. It would have been worse if like he didn't know it was canceled and he showed up with the new girlfriend and they don't have the reservation. Like that would be worse, right?

[B]

What? She's in the back?

[A]

Yeah. Is she the bigger person here?

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Is this. Would. Would I be equally irritated? Yes.

[B]

But he also doesn't even know she works there.

[A]

Considering that's the most insulting part. He hasn't even stalked her, right?

[B]

Well, yeah. For him to make the reservation there, he has to not know she works.

[A]

You would hope He's a monster, right?

[B]

I don't think I. And I honestly, like, I'm just speaking for myself.

[A]

I'm sure he doesn't know.

[B]

I would never operate that way. I would. I would avoid you at any cost. The woman that wanted to be more that I didn't want to be more with that I now have a girlfriend.

[A]

You never taken on a date.

[B]

Never took it on a date. Now I'm taking my new girlfriend a date.

[A]

And this to. To a hot hard to get into restaurant.

[B]

The toughest one in town. Like it's crazy. Like it's. So this is a hilarious mistake. This is a hilariously petty thing you've done.

[A]

This is. Would you prefer. If you're the guy, would you prefer her do this? Then she comes up to you on New Year's at the restaurant.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And says something to you.

[B]

This is a no contact.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's what I'm saying. I think she could have done worse.

[B]

Oh, she could have gone way worse. He's getting away with murder.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You get three years of hooking up with no responsibility for someone else and all they do is cancel reservation. He wins still. And she knows that. That's why she's still angry even though she's done this. Like she's writing to us going, I was never taken on a date so he won't either. Like she's not even like the way she's rationalizing it is angry.

[A]

Right. Which is what you do when you're like that. Not fully over it.

[B]

This is proof to the point that one woman's situationship is another woman's glowing Instagram post about her great boyfri with.

[A]

A kiss on the cheek.

[B]

It sucks. That's what it is. Not everyone is for everyone, you know. And I not to make her email some more serious than it is. But it's like it is so funny to me because I. If you're dating someone who won't post you on Instagram, some of this is the reason, you know, it's for.

[A]

For someone else.

[B]

It's for someone else. It's. It's, you know, part of the reason isn't I'm not ready. It's. I'm not sure the other person's ready.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because I do think of those and they person.

[A]

I mean you should unfollow.

[B]

She needs to unfollow. She needs to block and just mute or whatever she can do. You have to do some self.

[A]

If you were him, would you have blocked her before putting that picture?

[B]

Block her? Are you kidding?

[A]

Hide it from her, you know, type.

[B]

Of woman that would cancel my reservation. You think she's Going to handle my blocking. Well, every man after ending a situationship with someone is just easing into the bushes, Homer Simpson style.

[A]

Well then why would he do this? Why would he put up the picture of the kissing of the cheek?

[B]

I mean, it's a bold move. It's. I, Yeah, I. In his.

[A]

She ended it with him. Maybe that's what his.

[B]

Or maybe that's the way he rationalized it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I. I think him putting the picture up. Well, no, because there's a new girl asking for that picture.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He's got to make the new girl happy. And not everyone's version of happiness. Some people are bigger pains in the ass than the others. This girl wasn't enough of a pain in the ass for three years. That's why he got away with this, right? This new girl. You know, I'm not trying to compare the two because it's two different situations. You get into them in different ways. A lot of situationships are a result of how you got into them.

[A]

How so?

[B]

You go on a date with someone and you're just a lot. And. And you're just allowed to like. And nothing is ever said.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like if you go on a date with someone.

[A]

Well, situationships usually come up when nothing is either. Either nothing is said or something is said and no one is listening. Right.

[B]

But. Or something said, the other person doesn't listen and the other person doesn't hold.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Their position.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you know, I've had this in my life where I know. I just noticed that like when I start dating someone, it's very much how it begins, is how it ends. Like it's very much. The first three dates are how the rest of the dating goes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If the first three start wobbly and wonky, you're gonna get a wobbly and wonky relationship ending. If you first three start strong and communicative and open and vulnerable, that's how it's gonna go till its eventual end. That's how it's gone with me.

[A]

That makes sense. I agree. I think looking back, I think I agree with that. Indicate my dating history too.

[B]

Right. If I don't know how this girl started with her three year situationship, I promise you it wasn't with a first date where he was like, I'm really looking for a relationship.

[A]

I mean, they've never been on a date.

[B]

Right? Now we're laughing at her. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened. You're being petty, but we laugh at your pettiness. We, we Laugh with you at your pettiness. We hope that you're laughing with us and we'll get us a reservation to your great restaurant.

[A]

Yes. Let us know in the email on the side.

[B]

Yeah. If it's the corner store we've been wanting to go. You've been wanting to go to that place?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Let us know if it's. What else is there? It's. It is. I don't know if you feel this out in Long Island. It is tough to get into a restaurant in this city.

[A]

In the city? Yes. On Long island. It's not as bad.

[B]

Not as bad in the city?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

My God, you gotta like really know someone to get somewhere like it is.

[A]

You're not booking like months in advance at 12 noon when the reservation slot open. Even then it's hard to get.

[B]

Right. Yeah, totally agree. I. I just. I don't even know where to go. I've only been gone for like a month, so I tried to go to. Where did I try to go? No. Beef Bar. They're all the same.

[A]

Yeah, it's hard to get into.

[B]

Yeah, Everyone goes there.

[A]

They're not farts.

[B]

You can't even smell other people's farts.

[A]

No one's even trying. Restauranteurs don't. Aren't even trying. They know they can already get.

[B]

I know.

[A]

What are we gonna call this? We sell a lot of beef. Big beef order called Beef Bar. Okay.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Oh, it's still disgusting. It's still reserved four months in advance. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Who cares? Just keep it as Beef Bar.

[B]

All the nice restaurants in New York are just adult kids food now.

[A]

Like the Cocoa Duck thing.

[B]

It's Coco Duck. It's. Which I like Coco Duck. But I. It's all just like. Like the corner room or corner store. I look at their food and I go, I just have to have it. But I don't think it's like. Doesn't look like it's that great.

[A]

You just want to see for yourself.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Right. Yeah.

[B]

What did I see? The Living Room. Have you guys ever heard of that place? Chelsea Living Room. I saw the food there. I was like, I gotta go see what this is. Yeah, that's it. It's a nice looking place. It looks like a good date spot. Taylor Swift goes there.

[A]

It used to be Taylor Swift to get a reservation there.

[B]

Can Taylor Swift do an interview about what she likes in food? So I know that I'm not missing out on anything. If she's like, I only need chicken nuggets. That's why she's these places.

[A]

I think she just likes to be see and be seen.

[B]

Right. That's fair.

[A]

Personally, I don't know if she's a huge foodie.

[B]

You don't think so?

[A]

I doubt it.

[B]

Yeah, you've. I've never heard her talk about food or even seen her eat.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Yeah, it's a good point.

[A]

Travis probably eats.

[B]

He's Trav looks like a guy who likes wings.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Just like chicken nuggets and wings. Like he. He looks like the type of you were like, hey, where should I go eat?

[A]

He'd be like, buffalo wild wings.

[B]

Yeah. And you'd be like, are they any good? He'd be like, you get a lot of them? And be like, well, that's not the question I asked. Right now get up to 20% off select online storage solutions put heavy duty HDX totes to good use, protecting what's important to you. The solid impact resistant design prevents cracking and the clear base and sides make items easy to find even when the totes are stacked. Find select online shelving and tote storage up to 20% off at the Home Depot. To organize every room in your home from your garage to your attic, visit homedepot.com how doers get More done Here's.

[C]

To quitting Quitting the couch for a quick run. Quitting the snooze button for a morning workout. Quitting giving up after two weeks. You see, staying committed to your fitness goals isn't easy. But with Apple Watch you don't have to do it alone because Apple Watch gives you real time motivation plus advanced metrics that track all your workouts so you can stick to your New Year's fitness resolutions. And once and for all, quit quitting with Apple Watch iPhone 11 or later required.

[B]

All right, let's do it.

[A]

All right, let's do it.

[B]

Jared and Jordana, huge batches fan and u up listeners since 2020. Also congrats to Jordana on your little girls. I need your advice on my relationship. My boyfriend and I, both 37, have been together about a year and a half. He's amazing loving guy, so different from my past relationships, but his lack of ambition is starting to weigh on me. When we met, he had a blue collar job and said it was a stepping stone to a higher paying field. A year and a half later, no progress and he avoids talking about career plans. He also sometimes comes off as passive in social situations at group dinners. He's last to put his card in with my parents. He let my dad pay and when his brother Visited. He made zero moves at dinner. So I Venmoed him because it didn't sit right.

[A]

It's interesting that she's calling that passive.

[B]

Not giving.

[A]

I mean, is that passive or is that, like, cheap?

[B]

I guess the passive nature, I guess.

[A]

Like, if someone asked him to pay, he would. But he's not volunteering.

[B]

He's not getting angry about it. I. I kind of understood it as, like, I don't know, not making a move. Not making a move. He's not like, hey, you know, you go out to dinner with her parents. I don't know, hey, can I pay? Or whatever. He doesn't even, like, do the thing right. The act. Because I don't know about paying for dinner with her parents. I don't know why that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think hit her so hard.

[A]

I don't think I would. With my sibling. Maybe more than my parents.

[B]

Was his brother.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It was his brother. It's weird for. I actually think it's rude of her to Venmo the brother.

[A]

Yeah. That's awkward.

[B]

Behind his back. I think that's a discussion.

[A]

That's true. I wouldn't expect Mike to offer to pay for, like, if my parents were taking us out or if.

[B]

Right.

[A]

My sibling was.

[B]

Would you expect Mike to be like, hey, can we please help out?

[A]

Should we. Yeah, I think he would off. He would offer.

[B]

I. I do a fake. I've done a fake offer or two for a. For a parent that brought me out.

[A]

Right. They usually say no.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wouldn't insist. Insisting is weird.

[B]

Yeah. Not insisting. I don't know. I. The brother thing.

[A]

Right. Like, if you paid for lunch with, like, Harry and Ruthie and then Ruthie Venmoed you, that would be weird.

[B]

What's going on?

[A]

How do you. How do you split meals when you go out with the three of them?

[B]

Oh, you don't want to know.

[A]

I. I just asked. I do. Your dad pays. Yeah. Okay. It's so funny. I was just telling them before you came in this morning about how. Because B was talking about traveling with you, and I was just talking about how on our. Our 2019 tour, you would, like, take me into the Delta Lounge.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I'd be like, oh, thank you. Like, can I pay? You'd be like, no, my. My. You know, I have my dad's card for this.

[B]

Yeah, I'll let my dad pay for it. That so. Yeah, it's great.

[A]

I tell your dad thank you.

[B]

Of course. I. Yeah. My.

[A]

Do you guys have, like, a special card that you use when you do things together. It's like your corporate card.

[B]

It's like.

[A]

Yeah, that's really funny. Like, only if you're right. If you're. Only if you're together.

[B]

And we go, thank you, dad. We even say it out loud.

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

We're not going to pay for this dinner.

[A]

That's really funny.

[B]

The only reason we're together is because of them.

[A]

Even if he's not here. Yeah, I love it.

[B]

We find that's the thing. You can always rationalize anything. Whenever someone's like talking about someone else and like, how could they do this?

[A]

No, it's funny. I like it. I mean, I bet I'm saying I was like, I loved it. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I got. Thank you, Jared's dad.

[B]

Yeah, it's. That is always every meal my brother and I have done. We go out well. And we've done some weird. We've done some meals where we went out like big time.

[A]

Bald. Bald. Hard.

[B]

We went hard. And then we, we do three way split.

[A]

You, your brother and your dad. Does he know about any of this stuff?

[B]

No.

[A]

Does he ever review it?

[B]

He's never asked anything questions? He'll say something. Not really. We're. We're. We don't know. I don't think we abuse it. We must not. If he's not.

[A]

Maybe you're thinking about if you do a three way split. That's nice.

[B]

He would have taken us out for dinner. Well, we wouldn't tell him that it was a three way split.

[A]

It.

[B]

That's how much we spent at dinner. That.

[A]

What is the amount?

[B]

My dad would think, well, this must be for two people, right?

[A]

What's the amount you would feel uncomfortable.

[B]

Charging to my dad?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not a birthday. Is it a birthday? Because we did this on birthday.

[A]

Not a birthday.

[B]

Not a birthday. I would feel uncomfortable with anything over 300.

[A]

That's fair.

[B]

Yeah. I'd be like, that's a little. Dad, you've gone a little too far.

[A]

We shouldn't do this to dad.

[B]

Right?

[A]

All right, well, I think we should say if you're, if you're. If he's watching.

[B]

If my dad is what he's.

[A]

We both. Thank you, dad.

[B]

Thanks dad. Appreciate it. And mom. I gotta include them both. My mom's a part of that.

[A]

That's true. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Does the credit card say your name on it or does it say his name on it?

[B]

My name.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. That's less embarrassing than if it said his name.

[B]

I've signed for his card. Anyways, no one would know.

[A]

I got to get adopted by your mom.

[B]

Listen, I've never said I wasn't the luckiest guy in the world. Look at sitting here in.

[A]

Look at this.

[B]

Talking out of my ass, right?

[A]

Dad's credit card. Dad's credit card in your pocket.

[B]

I'm good to go. Wrong. All right. I feel like sorry for New Year.

[A]

We digress.

[B]

Oh, sorry. I'm already down the page. He also sometimes comes off as passive in social situations. At group dinners, he's the last put his card down with my parents, he let my dad pay. And when his brother visited, he made zero moves at dinner. So I venmoed him because it doesn't sit right. So here's my question. I fear I'll resent him more if I stay on this path. Can I address this without sounding like it's all about the money? Or is this fundamental trait that he won't outgrow? Am I beating a dead horse? Is this just not a match? I love him, but I can't stop wondering if our goals and lifestyles are just too different to make this work. Thank you so much for any advice. You two are the best. And I can't wait for the next episode. Thanks for your input.

[A]

It's interesting to me that she's saying, like, is this about differences in lifestyle or whatever? But all the examples she's using are about what other people think about how he's paying for things.

[B]

Give me. Explain that.

[A]

Like, she's not like, I want to go on this trip. We're both 37. He has this blue collar job that he hasn't gotten, you know, promoted for. And your nap doesn't seem like he's ambitious. I want to go on. I want to, like, live in this area. I want to go on this trip. I want to have this kind of lifestyle. And he's not doing that. That's not what she's. Those aren't the complaints.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The specific things she's talking about are like, him or the way other people might see him not paying for things.

[B]

Well, I guess.

[A]

Which I just found interesting.

[B]

I agree with you. Because she says, I don't want it to sound like it's about money. I don't think it's about money. This doesn't sound like a money grubbing woman to me.

[A]

Well, that's what. Well, yeah. And she's not even talking about things that. That cost money.

[B]

Right.

[A]

She can't do.

[B]

She's talking about social class.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Social etiquette. And she's talking about his. His motivations and how he operates and.

[A]

Perhaps how generous he is.

[B]

Right. But. But the thing when she said in the beginning about he has a blue collar, white collar, you can have a blue collar job and still be a very passionate, you know, hard worker and.

[A]

Make a lot of money.

[B]

And make a lot of money and also, like, have plans for the future. I think that's all the more important part.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That she's connecting how he acts to what he said before, which she's finding isn't true. Like, he started the relationship saying, I. I have this idea of who I'm going to be, and now she's with that person and seeing that that isn't exactly what's playing out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And, well, there's who we say we.

[A]

Want to be and then who that we actually are.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Is why you should date someone for a while before.

[B]

Well, this is. I. That's why I was like, I don't know if this is a. Like, I, I think all the stuff about who pays, like, that's. I think that's her already being resentful.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, the things that she's picking at, they're all here nor there. Like, I. They're all social things that she's using as clues as to, I guess money might be on his mind as well.

[A]

Where. I think she's kind of. I think there's a sense of like, I wish I were with someone who were more embarrassed to do that almost. Or like, who had the drive to. Who. Who. Like, you know, who. Because I think there's like a. There's an ambition to like, pride. Things which are sort of, like, they sort of go counter to each other.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

A little bit. Right.

[B]

Explain that.

[A]

I think there's a sense of like. And you can be. And you can have too much ambition and not enough pride in some. Or in some cases, like, I don't know if I'm saying that correctly, but basically, like, there's someone who's like, super ambitious would probably be, you know, feel insecure about someone else taking them to dinner. They might not even go to the dinner. Right, right. And someone who's like. And I'm not saying that's a good thing. It might be annoyed if you were like, I'm not going to the dinner with your dad because I can't pay for it and, like, I'm not doing that. Or someone who's like, kind of happy with where they're at or fine with where they're at. Let's saying let's say might be better at taking things right. And again, I'm not saying what you shouldn't be all the way on one end or the other.

[B]

I'll personalize it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Okay. We just had this fun discussion about me letting my dad and mom pay for. For my meals. 40. If you didn't think that it wouldn't be as fun a conversation if you didn't think that I was a hard worker or was earning things that I was getting right. So you know what I mean? So like the connection, like someone could look at me and go, you're 40 and you let your dad pay for the meal even when he's not there. And my brother and I laugh at it and we let that happen.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And it's be. And I, I think someone could look at it that way and be like, what the. Or they could look at as two guys who work pretty hard and you know, their dad can do it.

[A]

Their dad happens to be right.

[B]

Also be okay with it.

[A]

Right? Yeah.

[B]

And. And also like. Well, Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I, I could understand there's two ways to look at my. At what? I just, we were just joking around about you go, what a loser. Or you know, that I work hard and I'm passionate and have these goals that are grand. That I actually do the things I'm out at night every night doing stand up and doing. Writing articles and doing, you know, you know, me in a way. And I think for her.

[A]

But if you weren't doing that and I heard stories about you, you don't pay for dates and.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, you know, and I know just from hanging out with you that you're, you know, that's not how you.

[B]

But you would look at me as a partner in a different way.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And if in the beginning of the relationship I said I was a comedian and then I. You realize that I'm not the stepping stone.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right. I want to be a comedian to do these other things. But then you saw that I don't do any of the work work to do that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then at the same time I'm taking out a credit card that doesn't belong to me.

[A]

Right.

[B]

To pay for a meal.

[A]

Yeah. That's a different kind of person.

[B]

It's a different person. I think she's seeing what this person is and I guess the question to me becomes, can you date someone whose ambition doesn't match with your own?

[A]

Right. You know, or ambition to pride ratio doesn't match with your own?

[B]

Right. So like, like I've been with people where I'm like, they don't. If they don't work, I want to know what.

[A]

What they do.

[B]

What do they do?

[A]

Right.

[B]

What. What occupies your mind, what makes your time.

[A]

Right. That's not about money.

[B]

It's not about money. So I think all the things she's looking at are resentments. I think she's. Because she's like, I don't want to resent him. You already do.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You're wondering why he hasn't pulled out his wallet when your dad takes you out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think it's more about, like, this is who you're getting.

[A]

Right. And you can move them 10, maybe a little. But.

[B]

But this is it.

[A]

And. And if you're with the person, you kind of have to say, I accept that this is.

[B]

This is who they are. And you might be able to have a conversation with them. Hey, you know, I want to talk about what you see the next 5 and 10 years being how you want to live. How. Because here's how I see it. You could even say, like, I see this for us in a house, and I see this type of house. You can get specific, right. And you can kind of see how that weighs on them. And maybe you guys, you know, I think that's how these things fall apart. Like, where there's love, but you go, but I wanted more. And I thought we both wrote the same thing.

[A]

But again, it's almost like, not about. Maybe she could even afford to do those things without his salary. But I think it's more like the fact that he doesn't.

[B]

Right.

[A]

He's not doing it. That bothers.

[B]

If he said to her, well, you can afford to do that. That's why I'm with you. You'd be like, ugh. Right. But if he said, well, I'm working towards those so that we can do that, you know, like, there's just two different.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think this is all in the conversation. But, like, I. I guess my point to her is to allow her that this is a thing you could end something over.

[A]

You can end something over anything.

[B]

You can end something over everything.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. But I. To me, I read this, I was like, I wouldn't want to be with. I've had that. I've been with people where I thought they were going to be one thing and they weren't that thing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I've lost attraction to them because of that.

[A]

Well, a lot of the times in the beginning of dating, someone's presenting to you who they like. Wish they would be.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But they're not actually that person.

[B]

Right. And then maybe they never will. Which is like the hardest thing to say about someone. Like, it's like, it's. It's difficult to like, you know, you're kind of like giving up on them.

[A]

Well, they're. If they're not. If they're giving up on their self first.

[B]

Sure. But if someone dated me and like they didn't see the future I saw.

[A]

But you work very hard for that.

[B]

But maybe I'm working. I know a lot of people that work hard at comedy that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That I, I could see someone dating them and going, this ain't gonna happen.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I don't know how to tell them that. But yeah, you know, I could understand why that would be not attracted to them. To not live in reality, like to, you know, so it's hard. This one's really hard.

[A]

It is.

[B]

Because I saw some comments about our last episode. At this point, it'll be months later where we were talking about the, the video game.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And there were some people that were like, we were being hard. They. They kind of took us as being hard on the gamer because we were basically saying we should end the relationship.

[A]

But we're saying. We weren't saying because he games. We're saying because she doesn't. She's not. She doesn't like him.

[B]

We are on the same page. We. And that. It was interesting that some of the commenters saw that as us being hard on a gamer. I. I don't think that guy should change being a gamer at all.

[A]

Right. I think we were hard on her. We were saying, you don't like this person.

[B]

Right.

[A]

About.

[B]

It's all kind of how you look at. Right. But how you look at that, like someone might look at this blue collar guy and be like, wow, Jared and Jordan. I think that you can't be a blue collar. That's not what we're saying at all. Like, he is. He is what he is. Like he. He probably is pretty great. I like, based on what she's saying, but I think he. Maybe she maybe heard something that wasn't there or maybe he said something that wasn't true.

[A]

She thought she was getting someone else. Right, Right.

[B]

Right. Based on the way we all date.

[A]

And a year and a half in, which is where they're at, is sort of when you'd realize that. Right. Right.

[B]

This is what it is.

[A]

Right. That's kind of when you have like enough sense of like how they operate, how they work, how they are in. You know how they are with money, right? Where you're like, okay, they said, I thought. I thought I was getting this person. And it's not really right.

[B]

I've ended things over that. And it's one of the harder ones to let go of because you go. You feel like a dick.

[A]

Right? Or you're judgmental.

[B]

Right? It's pretty. It is judgmental.

[A]

All dating is judgmental.

[C]

Toast the holidays in a new way and raise a glass of Rumchata, a delicious creamy blend of horchata with rum. Enjoy it over ice or in your coffee. Rumchata. Your holiday cocktails just got sweeter. Tap or click the banner for more Drink responsibly. Caribbean rum with real dairy cream. Natural and artificial flavors. Alcohol 13.75% by volume, 27.5 proof. Copyright 2025 Agave Loco Brands, Pojoaquee, Wisconsin. All rights reserved. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor. State Farm is there Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[B]

Let's play some games. Uupetches.com keep sending your red flagger deal breakers. We love these. We love. The more specific, the better you have a this is our last red flag deal breaker of the year of 2025.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

This is it.

[A]

What a great thing to. To. To discuss with your friends at your New Year's. This is pre game.

[B]

I I think the New Year's parties of like 30s, you know, as you get older those like hangouts in a house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

These might be great for go to elites.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't even ask you what you were doing. I'm sorry.

[A]

That's okay. Took me. It wasn't that interesting.

[B]

Took me 17 hours. So you're going to Aleens. Yeah, she's with the kids and they'll like cut up like confetti and stuff.

[A]

No, the kids are going to be sleeping.

[B]

Okay. They don't get to stay up this like the one year.

[A]

No, the rubber probably get there like eight. They'll be gone asleep. She's. She's Russian. She likes to do like a. Like a caviar a situation.

[B]

Ooh, vodka caviar.

[A]

S. Yes. Ice cold vodka caviar party.

[B]

Ice cold Caviar.

[A]

This is her season for. This is the Russian season.

[B]

This is it. This is what the is the CEOs do.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Just play some games. Love it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you guys are competitive.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So there's some real game plan to.

[A]

Get it all out of our systems.

[B]

I love it. All right, so maybe. Yeah.

[A]

Maybe. Yeah.

[B]

Red flagger. Deal breaker. Long time listener. You're dating someone, one thing happens. Is it a red flag? Is it a deal breaker? That's the game. Long time listener here, excited for all the exciting new things happening for you both in 2026. So are we. I think as are we. As are we.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I have a New Year's Eve red flag. Deal breaker. I've been dating my current boyfriend for about eight months. Everything is going really well. But he is very anti pda. He's affectionate to me when we're at home, but really doesn't like holding hands or kissing in public. I personally enjoy some PDA, but want to respect his boundaries. I'm fine having no PDA in our day to day lives, but I feel like New Year's Eve should be an exception.

[A]

No PDA in our day to day.

[B]

Lives except on major holidays. For New Year's Eve, we are going to a big party where we're both. Where both of our friend groups will be. He mentioned he has never had a midnight kiss because of his PDA rule.

[A]

This just got weirder.

[B]

Yeah, well, especially when he calls it a rule.

[A]

Right? Did she call it a rule or did he call it a rule?

[B]

I don't know. But the PDA rule, that's a big part. That's a big difference.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If it was his, like his. His hatred of pda, he's never had one. That's a different thing than my rule.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I feel like New Year's Eve should be the one night he can break his rule. It's. I guess it's his rule. I would feel so embarrassed. My boyfriend swerved me for a kiss at midnight. Especially while we're surrounded by all of our couple friends who will be sharing a kiss. How do I tell them this is important to me without feeling like I'm trying to push his boundaries. So, red flag or deal breaker? Am I crazy for expecting my boyfriend to kiss me on New Year's Eve? Would you date someone with really strict no PDA rules? How do you feel?

[A]

I think this is a weird rule.

[B]

I think this is so interesting that.

[A]

He'S like, absolutely no affection in public. Well, it's not even a handhold I can understand someone. I fully understand someone being like, I don't want to make out with anyone in public.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Totally fine.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Completely normal saying, like, I don't want to like, touch you at all. Like, pretend we're like, not dating almost.

[B]

Right. Especially in a world to say no.

[A]

Hand holding is weird to me.

[B]

It's a little weird if it's a rule.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If he just doesn't do it and he feels uncomfortable. I don't know. I think this is an interesting email especially, and I agree with you, on a night and in a moment where literally everyone in the room is kissing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Then no one's kissing. Like, it's not that big a deal. But that's not that big.

[A]

No one's even looking at you.

[B]

Right. But that's not that big a deal to us. She kind of uses some words that are very like 20, 25 and a little Gen Z, like his boundaries. She makes it feel like that's probably.

[A]

How he's put it up.

[B]

Well, this isn't a consensual kiss with her boyfriend. Like, you know, like she'd be taking advantage of him. Which is interesting because it is somewhat true. Someone could say, you know, in a world of legalese and, and, and contracts, someone could say, I have this boundary. I'm asking you not to do that. No means no. And I, I don't wanna. I'm just saying, like, playing by. By like, if I'm trying, I'm trying.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, fair.

[B]

I'm trying to take his side as you do. As I do. But in a way, because I'm with her, I wanna, I wanna really slobber on a girl I'm dating. Or like, I want a liquor, I want to kiss her, I want a hug, I want to fart in her mouth. I want to do everything.

[A]

Well, you want to feel like you're. If you're out, you're out with your boyfriend, I think, right. Not you're out. Not I'm out with like a guy who, like, wants to stay six feet away from me.

[B]

Well, the reasoning of other friends will be doing it. That's not going to work.

[A]

Right.

[B]

When she said that, that is when your argument goes to death.

[A]

Here's what I would ask before I even started this argument. What about PDA feels so uncomfortable to you?

[B]

That's a good question.

[A]

What's the part that, like, makes you so anti it?

[B]

I'm so worried about just the look of it to other people.

[A]

Like, I like other people looking at us. Right.

[B]

And Then again, that would make his argument fall on its face because, like, it's only about us.

[A]

Right. And everyone else is concentrating on the person that they're making out with.

[B]

But that's why I'm like, take everyone else out of it. I think that argument. Lure him into making it about everyone else. But don't yourself make it about everyone else.

[A]

Because I. I first find out what the insecurity is.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then do your best to minimize it.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Or make them feel comfortable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And also say, how about I pull.

[A]

You into the bathroom and we do a kiss there?

[B]

I think that's. I actually think that's a good idea. Like, I think finding a way to both get what you want and to let him know how important it is to feel his love at midnight. And it's not. And if you make it. This is a argument that fails for women every time it enrages men making about other people. We do not want to hear how embarrassed you are in front of your friends. We don't care. We take that as you care more about your friend's feelings than my feelings.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So it'll never work on a man. It will never make your fight go away. Well, my. I'm so embarrassed of all my friends about us. About what? The way I am.

[A]

How would you phrase it?

[B]

My insecurities. You're embarrassed of my insecurities to your friends? Your friends all know that I can't tongue you down in public. The. The thing that would work is, hey, we gotta kiss at midnight. I need a kiss at midnight.

[A]

That's how I need to go into 2020. I need it.

[B]

And I need it from one guy. It's you. How we gonna make this happen? And I do think asking what his insecurities are like. What makes you feel so uneasy about it? Especially on New Year's Eve when it literally, like, right. There's such a thing as a music kiss. It's brandy.

[A]

It's weirder to be looking around than right. Would he do a hug?

[B]

Can we start at a hug and a pat on the back?

[A]

Right.

[B]

I just think as I. I think pulling him and. And working with him. As long as he has an issue too.

[A]

If he's willing to work with you, he should be Will. If he's like, this is my rule. I'm not discussing it. That would be icky to me.

[B]

I agree with you. That would be. That'd be a deal breaker to me.

[A]

Right. It's my rule.

[B]

I'm not even non starter. That's Not a relationship I want to be in.

[A]

I agree. That's no compromise.

[B]

All right, let's do another.

[A]

Okay. Hi, jj. Thank you for all the great advice over the years. I have a red flag or deal breaker for you as we approach New Year's Eve. Last year for New Year's, I hosted a party with all of my friends from college. My new boyfriend of three months came and was meeting a lot of people for the first time. One of my closest friends is a gay guy who I've been close with for almost 10 years now. Around 9pm, we were all joking about who our New Year's kiss would be, and my friend jokingly said me and leaned over to give me a peck on the lips. This is totally normal behavior for us, and I didn't think anything of it. However, my boyfriend got super mad and jealous. I tried to explain to him that it didn't mean anything, but he stayed so mad for the rest of the night. He said I literally cheated on him right in front of him. I was so confused. I was so confused. In what world is a peck on the lips from your gay best friend cheating? Would he say that if her mom kissed her on the lips? You're literally cheating on me.

[B]

Would a mom kiss her on the lips?

[A]

I don't know. Maybe.

[B]

Weren't you anti kissing the parents?

[A]

I am, but like, I don't know if, like, your sister, your mom, I don't know, like a family member would do something. I don't know.

[B]

I, I. Not to take this guy's side.

[A]

We ended up getting over it and continued dating for a few more months before inevitably breaking up. But now the New Year's Eve is approaching again. I'm wondering if his reaction should have been a deal breaker on the spot.

[B]

At the weird New Year's.

[A]

I only.

[B]

So we're over. Happy New Year, everyone.

[A]

At the time, I only saw it as a red flag, but looking back, maybe I should have seen it differently. Curious on your thoughts? So red, like your deal breaker. He calls kissing your gay best friend cheating.

[B]

Can I ask Joe how he feels about this? Oh, I think the guy was insecure as hell. He's insecure, but the whole, I guess the whole gay best friend thing with the woman and kissing, is it like it's a thing?

[A]

Is it like a thing to, like, annoy the boyfriend or. No.

[B]

Right. I, I don't, I guess I don't understand. I, I don't understand any of.

[A]

I get it.

[B]

No, I don't understand his insecurity. Like, I Think that's stupid, but I also am, like, I don't know, why are we kissing?

[A]

You know, like the whole game, kissing your family? I don't know.

[B]

I, I, I, I don't get why he's so mad, right? It feels like he was, he didn't feel secure in the relationship, and this was a chance for him to, like, lash out at her, right?

[A]

Has a reason to get mad at her, right?

[B]

And it's like a flimsy reason, but it was all he had, right?

[A]

Is he, is he worried that the guy is not gay and secretly attracted. Attracted to her?

[B]

I think that's what a lot of guys think.

[A]

Really? Even if they're like, like, see, I'm.

[B]

Like, if you say you're gay, you're gay. Like, I, I mean, that seems like.

[A]

A weird, long game to play, right?

[B]

Like, to get to my girlfriend. Yeah, like, absolutely.

[A]

I, I, like, the guy is secretly attracted to her, right?

[B]

I, the only thing I could see the insecurity being, here's my, this is me making a lot.

[A]

I would be like, if I'm gonna cheat on you, it wouldn't be right in front of you if I didn't.

[B]

Feel secure with the woman. And then her best friend wasn't really giving me boyfriend vibes. Like, the gay best friend shows up, he doesn't really acknowledge me as, like, a real boyfriend, and then I feel like I'm on the rocks with this girl, and then all of a sudden, he's kissing my girl to kind of show me, like, there's, like, beef between.

[A]

The two of you.

[B]

If I met a best friend of any kind, that didn't make me feel like part of the family.

[A]

What if it was a female best friend? That's what kissed her on the lips. Same.

[B]

Would you feel, probably masturbate in front of the whole party, you know, the climax loudly. Boy, Jared really had an explosion in the middle of that party. No, I, I, I guess of, of any background type best friend, if the best friend is, like, not really taking me seriously, that's when I would feel insecure, right? It's, I, I get. But you're almost feeling.

[A]

It's like, oh, it's like a power play, right?

[B]

To, like, show me, like, you're gonna break up with this guy anyways. Like, I don't know. Again, this is all insecurity. I think it's crazy of him to feel this way. It just has to be from something else. I don't think he's like, oh, he's trying to get with My gal.

[A]

Is it insane to be like, it makes me uncomfortable. At the same way you would say. You might say it makes me uncomfortable when your mom kisses you on the lips. Like, isn't it crazy to say that?

[B]

It is crazy. I'm. I'm playing devil's advocate of a certain. I'm, like, taking this out to another.

[A]

No, I'm saying, like. Like, it's one thing to say, oh, I felt a little uncom. Like, I felt a little uncomfortable when your friend, like, kissed you on the lips. It felt, like, a little strange to me. Fine. You literally cheated on me right in front of me.

[B]

It's so dramatic. No, I'm a. I don't. It's not a deal breaker for me, though, that this person reacted that way. I would have to, like. I guess. Yeah.

[A]

I think it'd be a deal breaker if they're. You literally cheated on me.

[B]

Right.

[A]

If they were, like.

[B]

Because that's not even an acknowledgment of, like, reality. Like, that's actually, like, crazy.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I'm with you. I. I'm bringing this.

[A]

I can see if. If Mike had a friend who was a lesbian who came over and said, I'm gonna be your nearest kiss, and then kissed him on the lips in front of me, I wouldn't say you literally cheated on me, but I might say that felt a little uncomfortable.

[B]

Okay. Right. Would it change it?

[A]

It was a woman, and that might be okay. That if maybe it's me, my issue. That it feels a little uncomfortable. Right. Would it change it? I don't know. I don't know. That's what I'm saying. It feels like a similar.

[B]

I guess I would feel like I was being diminished as a partner, especially with the little uncle. Yeah. A little uncomfortable, but not cheating.

[A]

Right? Not cheating.

[B]

Would it be a deal breaker? I don't think so. If someone told me they felt uncomfortable, right. They said it was cheating, I'd be like, we'd have a fight.

[A]

I would.

[B]

The writing would be on the wall that it's gonna end soon.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Let's do one more.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Jared and Jordana. I just started dating a girl, and we were chatting about our last New Year's. She casually told me she spent New Year's Eve alone in her apartment watching tv. I couldn't help but think, like, where were your friends? She does have a friend group, but it felt a little off to me. Thoughts? Extrovert guy.

[A]

Yeah. I think I'd be a little. I'd have a lot more questions about That. I mean, it's a little sad sounding.

[B]

I mean. Then don't. I won't describe my New Year's. I mean, my last years. Well, my last two New Years were spent alone. Okay, in Miami, but not bar having a martini. You don't remember this?

[A]

Not in your. Alone in your apartment. I do remember. No, but you weren't alone in your apartment watching tv. You're out.

[B]

I actually think it's not that weird. I think, like, for some people, New Year's, especially if it's on a weekday, it's kind of another night I can relax, I can watch tv. I don't have to worry about the ills of the world. I would want to know, were they invited to anything? Was there anything else going on? I'm just saying, as a person who had some weird. Like, my New Year's have been tough to explore.

[A]

Is this how you describe your birthday, too?

[B]

Yeah. Well, my New Year's, I explain. If I'm in a social situation, I'm usually in the toilet, so I don't have to worry about who I kiss. Okay, so I'm on the bathroom. If you're.

[A]

I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. But it'd be like, I don't know, it'd be like a little. It'd be a little sad if someone was like, on my birthday, I spent it watching TV alone in my apartment. I don't know, I don't think it'd be a deal breaker, but it would be. It would be like, especially if I'm the kind of person who, like, wants to go, who, like, goes out and, like, is social, I think in this guy, he signs off as extrovert guy.

[B]

Some extroverts are looking for introverts because it's like a good balance.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

So this might be good to some and bad.

[A]

But imagine if you're an extrovert. That doesn't sound like a fun New Year's to you?

[B]

Right? I don't want to. I don't know what I am. Extrovert. Introvert. But I don't mind being alone. And I've. You know, last New Year's I was at the bar at the Ritz of Miami beach having a martini. And I remember being like, this was okay. Maybe I would have done it differently. Like, maybe I should. Maybe I didn't need to do this this year.

[A]

Did you want to hang out with a friend? Like, would you have hung out with a friend?

[B]

I think if I had hung out, I'm always like, when it Comes to this stuff, I'm always like, afterwards I feel good about it before it. I don't like when someone says, like, hey, we should go get coffee and see if we could be friends. There's like nothing I want less in the entire world.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If someone was like, like if a group, if it's like a very direct hang with a friend, like one on one, I'm always like a little anxious about it and then I go and I really have a good time and enjoy myself, so.

[A]

Well, let me also ask you this.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

If someone asked you about your New Year's plans when you were 25 and you said that, would that be sadder to you?

[B]

It would be way sadder.

[A]

I think so, yeah. I think it's an age thing.

[B]

You're absolutely right.

[A]

If my like, like my dad or someone like that age, I think would like. And I'm saying like someone a little older. I think you're not like, there's not like a pre game.

[B]

Like you just want to know that someone had someone think of them on New Year's. I, I, I think this is all about how you sell it. When they say, yeah, I just sat at home with tv, like, there's more to that story.

[A]

Right. And how old is she? I think is another question. Right. They don't really say.

[B]

No, they don't. But I, yeah, I guess at 39, when last year it made sense that I wasn't like. And also, I don't know, I'm going.

[A]

To see like a concert or whatever. Yeah, right. Or the club.

[B]

I mean, this year I'll be literally, my New Year's is. My New Year's is weird this year.

[A]

What are you doing this year?

[B]

I'm doing a show in San Diego. I'll be. What they end up doing is you end the show and then the host comes on stage and like does the countdown for the room and they do like a cheers. So then I'll probably come back on stage and hang with everyone who's there and countdown. It's social. And then I do this thing where I go like, they'll go, three, two, one. And then I just go. It's like how I come. And then I'll cheers like people in the rows to try and avoid the weirdness.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Being too personal or whatever. Because I want other people because they came with like their, you know, I don't want to ruin their. What if you weren't some guy working.

[A]

You were in Delray, what would you do? Do?

[B]

I don't know. What I would do. I haven't. I guess I hadn't. Didn't need to think about it.

[A]

Well, I think you're right. It goes with your resolutions for next year. Right.

[B]

I do kind of want.

[A]

Do more stuff with friends.

[B]

Yeah. I think that would probably have been the better option if I was alone to like, go to maybe, like, Connecticut, hang with some college friends or.

[A]

Right. I mean, did you have fun doing it alone? I don't think you. I don't think you enjoyed that last year. Right.

[B]

No, I would be done with the Miami beach version.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Of what I did. It would be a different version.

[A]

Right. Well, also, if I was with. If I was, like, seeing you at the time, I would be, like, insulted by that plan. Oh, you.

[B]

Are you holidays. Yeah.

[A]

Do you want to do something on New Year's? No, actually, like, I'm gonna go to the bar alone. I'd rather. I'd rather be with no one. Because that's the thing about you that makes it so not sad, I think, is because, like, I know there's like 10 women that you could.

[B]

You could have spent New Year's way.

[A]

That you wanted to.

[B]

Yeah. There's people that would want to. To spend that night with me. And I. I don't know.

[A]

I'm just trying to imagine I'm dating a guy.

[B]

Well, that's part of my resolution, is to do these things and not feel.

[A]

Like you owe, like. Right. That you must end the year with them because you started it. Right.

[B]

So. All right, on that sad note, we're done solve dating in all of 2025. We did it.

[A]

We did it.

[B]

Happy and healthy New Year.

[A]

Happy New Year.

[B]

Be safe.

[A]

Thank you for listening. In 2025. We hope you come with us to 2026. You got a lot more fun stuff coming up.

[B]

I mean, Friday's episode is all going to be about getting date in 2020.

[A]

Getting you back out there.

[B]

Get you back out there.

[A]

Breaks over help.

[B]

Yeah, we're done. Let's go. It's time to find someone. So. And tell a friend that's. That's something you can do if you're this deep in the podcast. If you're listening right now, you watch.

[A]

You know, you got to know someone who will enjoy it. So unless you're alone in your room watching tv.

[B]

That's right. See you next year.

[A]

See you next year. Bye, Bo.

[C]

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