Would You Date Someone With 2 Boyfriends? ft Bob The Drag Queen

Summary

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U Up? — "Would You Date Someone With 2 Boyfriends?" ft. Bob The Drag Queen

Podcast by Betches Media
Originally aired: March 4, 2026
Hosts: Jared Freid, Jordana Abraham (out), guest host Bob the Drag Queen

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedian and drag icon Bob the Drag Queen as a guest host alongside Jared Freid. They explore the complexities of dating, identity, and personal quirks—digging into non-traditional relationships, navigating changing identities, parasocial relationships, and what red flags to look for in a partner. True to the U Up? spirit, the conversation is sharp-witted, unfiltered, and deeply empathetic, weaving Bob’s unique experiences with broader themes about modern love, labels, and embracing our quirks.

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Table of Contents

• Opening Banter & Bob’s Background
• Polyamory: Bob’s Two Boyfriends
• Key Email: My Boyfriend Wants to Do Drag—What Now?
• Parasocial Relationships & The Reality TV “Ick”
• Dating Games: Red Flag or Dealbreaker
• Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
• Episode Timestamps

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Opening Banter & Bob’s Background

[00:52–15:54]

• Comedy & Drag Careers:
  • Bob and Jared connect over their stand-up comedy backgrounds and compare experiences as "niche-but-mainstream" performers.
  • Bob shares how being a drag queen affects audience perceptions—some see drag as a limiting label, while others are surprised to find him “actually funny.”
  • “I think that people who know me like me, but I’m still kind of niche. Some people hear ‘drag queen’ and are immediately turned off, but if they see me on a show they like… they’re like, ‘Oh, Bob’s actually pretty funny.’” – Bob [02:04]
  • Bob recounts early days at New York comedy clubs—sometimes being banned or thrown out for showing up “in full drag” and being seen as “distracting.”
• Family & Roots:
  • Bob and Jared talk about their siblings and families; Bob’s brother is a chef at a children’s hospital, his younger brother wants to be a therapist [15:33].
  • Bob admits to being an annoying, emotional child, seeking attention and crying, with a memorable story about his mom breaking his crying habit [17:15].

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Polyamory: Bob’s Two Boyfriends

[20:56–23:32]

• Jared asks: "You have a—you’re in a relationship?" Bob replies coolly: “Yeah, I got two boyfriends.” [20:58]

• How Does It Work?

  • “They’re friends, which is nice… We live separately—me and Jacob live together, and me and Tao live together elsewhere.” [21:41]
  • Both boyfriends were met on Grindr. “I pay [the rent]. They’re broke!” – Bob [21:54]
  • “We started non-monogamous—we were never, like, locking it down… every relationship has ebbs and flows. At one moment, it’s more sexual, then more friendly—just like anyone else.” [23:08]

• Polyamory, explained:

  • Polyamory is described matter-of-factly, “That’s polyamory. Everyone in polyamory is doing it for the tax break.” [22:16, joking]

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Key Email: My Boyfriend Wants to Do Drag—What Now?

[34:53–47:17]

• The Letter:

  • A woman writes in: her boyfriend, a straight man in a band, starts performing in drag and is interested in expanding this part of himself. She says she’s “pro-LGBTQ+” but feels insecure about her role, desire, and the future of their relationship.

• Bob’s Deep Dive:

  • “You learn a lot about yourself playing with gender. Once you undo it, you can never put it back together. The toothpaste is out of the tube.” – Bob [37:34]
  • “If you’re going to be on this journey… you have an opportunity to be there for him and grow together. But it sounds like she needs her celebration to come from a man, and someone who feels like a man.” [38:24]
  • Bob brings up how gender is a construct and labels are confining: “There aren't any straight people… it's a myth. Everyone’s a little gay, everyone’s a little straight, a little nonbinary.” [42:39]

• Jared’s Take:

  • “If all else is the same, what’s the issue?… This is your partner.” [39:17]
  • They agree—if her attraction changes, she’s not ‘hateful,’ but maybe not as ‘open-minded’ as she claims.

• On the pressure for straight men:

  • “Straight guys reap the benefits of society—but also have the highest pressure. For a gay guy, we’ve already been outcast—so I’m going to wear my heels, my skirt, my lipstick… because I’m already on the outskirts.” – Bob [46:21]

• Memorable Anecdote:

  • Bob tells the story of a couple from his show “We’re Here”—a wife accepting her partner who came out as a trans woman at 68, underscoring how support can transform a relationship [45:45].

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Parasocial Relationships & The Reality TV “Ick”

[52:56–61:10]

• Male Listener Writes In:

  • He loves his girlfriend but is turned off by how invested she is in reality TV and celebrity gossip, describing it as “parasocial relationships” and asking: Is this the ick or am I just being picky?

• Bob’s Response:

  • “Parasocial is a strong word. It’s not just ‘I like this person’—that’s like, ‘Kim Kardashian is my friend’… I think she just likes reality TV." [53:19]
  • Jared points out the “ick” isn’t about TV, but how it dominates the relationship and feels ‘childish’ at their age.
  • “Reality TV became big when we were kids, so it seems like a kid thing, but it aged up with us.” — Bob [56:03]

• Jared & Bob’s Consensus:

  • It’s only an ick if the partner expects you to care as much as they do, or constantly references shows without context. Otherwise, sports fans, hobbyists, etc. are all the same: passion is attractive, obsession can be alienating.

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Dating Games: Red Flag or Dealbreaker

Highlights: [62:35–72:00]

• Red Flag or Dealbreaker: Previously Poly Person

  • Letter-writer once dated someone non-monogamous, isn’t looking for ENM, asks if this is a red flag. Bob: “Dealbreaker. You’re on different pages. He’s not going to change his thought process—one of you’s hoping the other swings over and it’s not gonna happen.” [63:22]

• Red Flag or Dealbreaker: Mannequin at the Door

  • Listener: “He keeps a mannequin in the front entry of his house.” Bob: “That mannequin will get you every single time… I like quirky people, but not that quirky!” [69:00]

• Bob’s Past Red Flag:

  • Dating someone who wore their teeth as jewelry—“At first, I thought, that’s quirky; but it told me so much more…I should have taken the red flag for what it was.” [71:15]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Everyone can remember three things… It’s the John Madden rule.” – Jared [05:50]
• “You, you have to be that good or that gay.” – Bob, about fashion risks for men [49:17]
• “There are some thieving-ass, conniving-ass drag queens in these streets.” – Bob [12:51]
• “It’s crazy, people don’t know I have four comedy specials!” – Bob [14:06]
• “Straightness is a myth.” – Bob [42:44]
• “You gotta just come to grips with the fact that you don't want to date no gay guy…which is crazy because, on the surface, people act like they're into it.” – Bob [40:23]
• “If you love someone, you should be interested in their passions, but you don’t have to become obsessed with them.” – Bob [60:03]

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Episode Timestamps: Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |------------|-------------------------------------------| | 00:52–04:54 | Bob’s intro & journey in standup and drag | | 15:33–18:00 | Family background and childhood stories | | 20:56–23:32 | Bob’s polyamorous relationships | | 34:53–47:17 | The ‘drag boyfriend’ email & gender talk | | 52:56–61:10 | Reality TV, parasocial relationships, & “ick” vs. “picky” | | 62:35–64:44 | Red flag/dealbreaker: Past poly partners | | 66:27–72:00 | Red flag/dealbreaker: Mannequin at the door | | 74:00–76:38 | Book talk, wrapping up |

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Final Thoughts

The episode is a riotous, insightful, and emotionally intelligent tour through what it means to date with openness, self-awareness, and a sense of humor. Bob’s candor about polyamory, gender identity, and the realities of queer dating are especially rich for listeners seeking honest perspectives outside the mainstream. The advice throughout is both practical and compassionate—reminding listeners (and each other) that you can only be yourself, and that genuine connection will require evolving past old scripts, societal constraints, and sometimes, mannequins with cocktails at the front door.

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Listen if:
You want a laugh-out-loud, boundary-pushing discussion of modern romance, with both sage advice and plenty of friendly shade thrown around.

Remember:
“You have to be that good—or that gay.” [49:17]

Transcript

[Jared Freid]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

Even if it's not something gross. I. I honestly don't know how much you have to pay me to eat a spoonful of mustard.

[Jared Freid]

Spoonful of mustard.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, a spoonful of, like, yellow mustard.

[Jared Freid]

What would it take? I give you $5.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Jesus.

[Jared Freid]

You wouldn't do it for $5.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Jared Freid]

I would do it for free. I love mustard.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I hate yellow mustard.

[Jared Freid]

You hate. I don't. We can't do the podcast. Hello and welcome to the podcast. I am Jared Freed and I am so excited to be here with our special guest, Bob the Drag Queen. Thank you for being on the show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Generate Degeneration X. Suck it. Are you X Pac? Are you.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, I. Triple H?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Jared Freid]

Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels, to me, was music.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was your. Was your vibe.

[Jared Freid]

That's more the. The attitude I would like to bring to the table.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This will not shock you, but I was for the nation of domination, obviously, of course. But outside of that, my favorite wrestler was Mick Foley. Really? Always will be.

[Jared Freid]

Nick Foley is like, this is Foley's baby boy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wow. Will always be my favorite.

[Jared Freid]

This is. I mean, this for our audience. This is all Chinese.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. They don't listen. They don't.

[Jared Freid]

I even this hat, I'll get a few people that are like, whoa, Generation X hat. I love that. And then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How old are you?

[Jared Freid]

I'm 44.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're the same age.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I've been hearing about you for years. You're. You're beloved.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God. Really?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. I would say you're beloved. I would say your name comes up, people light up. Do you feel that? Do you think that. Do you know that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I.

[Jared Freid]

Do you know that you do for people?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think that people who know me like me, but I'm. But I'm still kind of niche.

[Jared Freid]

Niche, fine. But, like, when they know you love.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because I'm from. I'm not from I'm from the world of, like, reality TV and cabaret and stand up comedy, but I'm not like, you know, Andrew Schultz. There are some really big names out there who are, like, someone who I would say is still kind of niche, but is actually a kind of, like, mainstream niche would be, like, Caleb Heron. Okay, maybe Brittney Broski.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They have, like, millions and millions of followers. But I. I think the drag. Some people just kind of hear the name of the drag queen and they're, like, immediately turned off. So they don't want to give it a chance. But the people who do, because I ended up on a show, they like, like the traitors. Right? So because I'm on a show they like, they. They. They have to watch me. They're like, oh, Bob is actually pretty, you know, funny or interesting.

[Jared Freid]

It's funny to say that you. You look at it in the terms of followers, like, because I. I think you have a cachet. Like, I think, like, if there's a. You know, I. I heard this quote once. I'm sure it's been said a million times, difference between a following and an audience. Anyone can get an audience. You know, following is different. You know, like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So I. I think you have a. A following. You know, the drag queen thing. I. I think anyone who's hyphenated with what they do feels that a little bit like, you know, I do a podcast. I do stand up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do, you know, how are you doing stand up?

[Jared Freid]

I've been doing it almost 16 years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We have almost everything. That's crazy.

[Jared Freid]

We've been just two ships.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

In the night.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've been in comedy for 17 years now.

[Jared Freid]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Where did you start? What was the first.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The first club I was passed. That was Caroline's Comedy Club. I was passed at the New York Comedy Club. Comics Comedy Club, which two of those clubs don't even exist anymore. I've been thrown out of Gotham Comedy Club.

[Jared Freid]

How'd you get thrown out?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I got thrown out because there was a confusion. I went to the, like, the young New Artist Bip bop boop showdown, whatever it was.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I did the Bip bop boop showdown.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Yeah. And there was some confusion about whether because I got past to, like, the second round, but not the third. But not the third round, which was the showcase, and they were like, oh, you got to come back here. And. But then my name was on the list, and I was on the list, but I was in full drag, and they thought I was distracting. I Was got thrown out of Caroline's once I got banned from Caroline's, actually.

[Jared Freid]

Are you. When you're in full drag and doing stand up, is that like. Do you think people just don't know how to handle that? Is that like a. Because stand ups. Listen, I know this from walking into standup clubs. It's like there is a version of person that's doing stand up that's like a little, just like this sad, you know, like looking at the floor. Guy with a notebook who's, you know, not dressed really well is like kind

[Bob the Drag Queen]

of like, that's still me.

[Jared Freid]

It's kind of just like fully. Just like, you know, sneaking in kind of. And then you come in like you're like a parade float. You know, it's all looking great.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If I'm doing my own show, I'll do it. Like, in the early days, I would get dressed in drag for every comedy show I do. Not every comedy show, a lot of comedy shows I would do. But nowadays, if I'm doing a friend show, I'm not going to get in drag for it. But if I'm selling my tickets at like a big theater, I will get in drag for that. But I'm not getting in drag to

[Jared Freid]

like, to work stuff out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I don't get in drag to work stuff out.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, there might be people who

[Bob the Drag Queen]

dress nicely though, I'm sure.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, yeah. But I'm. I mean, look at the shoes. I mean, if you're on YouTube, you got to check. I know that. These are unbelievable.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you.

[Jared Freid]

I love them. They're great. If you. But if you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is.

[Jared Freid]

There might be people watching on YouTube or listening right now going, bob the drag queen does stand up. Like, I'm sure that frustrates you. Yeah, because it frustrates me if someone says to me, like, oh, the guy who yells at the Bachelor does stand up. Like, I like, that's something I do where they go. And I'm like, ah, that's like what it was all for.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, it's kind of shocking to me. I mean, luckily I can sell tickets. But when I. What's really odd to me is when I go to the comedy clubs and the, the people who own the clubs, they're like, oh, you're actually really funny.

[Jared Freid]

Right? And I'm like, right, well, people only know. I, I think people, generally people, the general people can only really handle, like one thing about someone. Like, I, I really don't think, you know, John Madden, the famous football coach, he says people can remember three things he only goes. He goes. I only tell people three things. I only tell my team three things to do. There's only three things. And it's like, it's kind of a

[Bob the Drag Queen]

good point in his defense. I remember Madden, Madden 2000, Madden 2001.

[Jared Freid]

All those.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that's so I guess he ate with that, right?

[Jared Freid]

He did all three.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why did he get a video game?

[Jared Freid]

It was, I mean, timing for a lot of these things. He was the guy, he was the original quality for the NFL. Well, he's a coach, so the coach knows the scheme. So you. I think that's like the, the play where they're saying Coach Madden is going to coach you. The audience. If that was to be like the

[Bob the Drag Queen]

marketing, he must have made more money from that game than he ever made from any people still play Madden, right? Is he even alive anymore?

[Jared Freid]

No, he passed away. There's movies coming out. There's like movies about his life coming out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did not even watch football, but I know who John Madden is.

[Jared Freid]

Who's the guy in Face Off?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

John Travolta. Nick Cage.

[Jared Freid]

Nick Cage is playing John Troy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I am Pastor Troy.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was a really good movie.

[Jared Freid]

It's a good movie. There's a lot of things. It's a fun laugh at this movie. Movie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To be fair, I have not watched it in over 15 years.

[Jared Freid]

Been a long time for me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But watching at the time I remember I watched it a lot. I was really into that film.

[Jared Freid]

Big cable tv.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Movie. I have the vhs.

[Jared Freid]

Do you have a V vcr?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I had the vhs. Oh, I don't have it anymore. But at the time I had it. Yeah, I wore it out.

[Jared Freid]

That movie. If you think about it like for nobody to know. The, the like he has sex with his wife.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like that's a real weird scene. There's a lot of like laughing scene.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Doesn't age well.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But also the only thing different is your face.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So like you have the exact same dick as John Travolta.

[Jared Freid]

Right. The wife didn't notice anything about the penis?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, she liked it more actually. Do you remember?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, that was. Well, I think she liked his performance more. Yeah, I think it was like, like I think you could get away with harder than you've ever been.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which I want to be clear, I am acknowledging that there's a lot of non consent going on involved in this dynamic. But it was a movie. To be clear, I didn't make the movie.

[Jared Freid]

Well, it's a movie made for entertainment. We all watched it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm Just acknowledging what happened. But, yeah, I do remember her being like, wow, you're. I remember her vaguely being like, that was the best you've ever been or something, Right?

[Jared Freid]

Well, it was. And it was kind of played as, like, the confidence.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, like, it was like, oh, my God, my. You know, my meek husband who's a police. No, no. Now you've been with a real evil villain.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Even his entire. Like, if you think of a guy who has a similar bill to you, do you. Are you married or have a girlfriend, anything?

[Jared Freid]

No, I'm a single man.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I feel like if. Let's say one of your. One of your hookups.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was hooking up with the guy who has a very similar bill to you.

[Jared Freid]

So she's still. She's hooking up with a tissue, and

[Bob the Drag Queen]

at some point, she still doesn't know there's a difference, Right. I don't know.

[Jared Freid]

I think there's something to the voice and like, I. I don't know. It's like, can you get away with it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

John Travolta and Nick Cage walked in. Even if the lights red, I be like, something feels different here.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know how fair this comparison is, but, like, is there, like, in drag, are you with someone else in drag? Are you, like, when you're physical with someone in drag, are you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're like, when I'm someone in drag.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've never. Anyone in drag. No.

[Jared Freid]

No. I would think that's a part.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, that's for some people. No, for some people, it is a very.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, well, I would think. Wouldn't that be a difference in dick?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One time at. At the Lucky Changs at the restaurant I used to work at in Dragon.

[Jared Freid]

Lucky Changs.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's the name of it.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I remember that place.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Yeah. You could have got your dick sucked there if you wanted to.

[Jared Freid]

Holy out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because the queens were doing it.

[Jared Freid]

Someone got lucky.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did it one time and I was like, that's not realizing. I was like, you know what? Hooking up in drag is not for me.

[Jared Freid]

What's the difference?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, one, I'm not comfortable. Okay. So drag is just gluing stuff to your body, Right. Glued on wig, glued on lashes, glued on nails, glued on glitter. You're wearing a corset like you're in heels. My feet hurt, you know? And I'm also wearing a lot of makeup, so if I'm going down on you, your dick's gonna look like a fucking mudslide. Right.

[Jared Freid]

So it's changes the whole Experience changes

[Bob the Drag Queen]

the vibe for me.

[Jared Freid]

I wanted to ask you this because. So when. When you came in as a. As our guest host this week, we. There was people that were like, on traders, you gave. What's his name? Dylan Efron.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

A drag name.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Dylan Efron.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, Efron. You gave him a drag name. And then I was like, I want Efron.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It makes himself so. Makes it sound so fancy. Dylan Efron.

[Jared Freid]

Dylan Efron. My good friend Efron.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I call him Efron, but I don't know how it's actually pronounced. I just say. I just say Dylan. Well, he's Zac Efron's brother.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, well, when I say the south of France, I say south of France.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

South of France. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Sofra.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So I. And everyone should go follow Bob the drag queen. Bob is in on Broadway, which is like, such an accomplishment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How cool is that, you know?

[Jared Freid]

Well, this is also what you get with being, you know, like, I. I think there's, like, there's. There's good and bad, you know, to the. To the hyphenation of it all. Like, you go into a standup club and so you're actually funny and you're like, what a piece of shit. And then someone else goes, I could see him on Broadway, you know, don't you think that goes in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's how I ended up in a lot of things. That's how. Ended up in some movies and some TV shows, somewhat. Like, I. There was a famous writer named Tony Kushner. He.

[Jared Freid]

That name sounds so familiar.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I mean, he. He wrote the movie Lincoln.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He wrote the film Carolina change. He wrote the script for the new west side story.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He wrote Angels in America. He's a very big deal, Carol. He's a massive writer. He's a Pulitzer prize winner. All that. All that jazz. Tony award winning, I think Oscar, nominated, maybe even Oscar winning writer. And he saw me on drag race and he was like, I bet you'd be a good actor in this. In this play I wrote, you know, years ago. You should audition. So I ended up doing angels in America at the bricklayer. Up to a theater, which I went to school for acting, actually.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But theater was. Theater was not. Theater was my first love, but it was not reciprocal. Theater did not love me back the way that I loved it. But stand up comedy did, though.

[Jared Freid]

Do you feel you. I think a lot of standups that are so talented, like, you are, like, feel pushed into it. It's kind of like this, like, Anyone can step on stage. There's no like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

There's no casting director with like, you know, kooky glasses. Right. There's. It has the least barriers to entry. That's why we meet some of the worst humans alive and the best.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is true. I think you're right about that.

[Jared Freid]

I believe that about stand ups.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Drag is the same. There's no gatekeepers like any. Anyone can put on a wig and go to the bar.

[Jared Freid]

There it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyone can put on a heel and a lash and go to the bar. We're not going to stop you.

[Jared Freid]

So that's why you probably, I'm sure you believe, like in drag you meet a lot of grifters in the same way we in stand up. Like, you, you, you, we mentioned like the podcast stuff that's going on and people getting political with their podcast. You're like, yeah, I've been seeing this happen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

At open mics.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, drag queens are. Drag queens are wild. Right. There are some thieving ass, conniving ass drag queens in these streets.

[Jared Freid]

So you get, you go in this play and I mean, that's a big time writer. And then does that lead to Mulan? Moulin Rouge, the musical. It is on right now. It's playing through July. If you want to see Bob the Drag Queen, he is only there until March 22nd. So we want you to go. Listen, you don't think I do this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you only remember three things. Three things.

[Jared Freid]

Bob the Dragon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So something else got leaked out for

[Jared Freid]

that to leak in John Madden. That's it. That's all I remember. And I remember Mateo saying, I remember years ago, Mateo was like, bob the Dragoon is one of the funniest people that's going around right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, that's right.

[Jared Freid]

And, and I remember that because I was like, oh, that's cool to know. And I do believe in stand up. The hardest part about stand up is every week you'll just be like, you'll turn and be like, who's that guy?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, that happens a lot too. And it's like I'm always, I'm like so excited and also depressed by the talent.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That I see on a night to night basis. So like, you know, you go, oh, I thought I was good. And then you go, no, no, no. The, the whole thing has changed, you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. So the landscape is constantly changing.

[Jared Freid]

Always.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But for people who don't know, I'm a comedian, which is crazy. I have four comedy specials, by the way, which is crazy. People do not Know that.

[Jared Freid]

I. I didn't know you had four. I. Embarrassingly, I. You know, I'll admit that on camera.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have one on Amazon called Suspiciously Large Woman.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have one on. On itunes called Bob the Drag Queen Live at Carolines.

[Jared Freid]

Love it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have one that I've released on YouTube myself called Woke man in a Dress.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I just released one last month called this is Wild on Hulu.

[Jared Freid]

What's your favorite?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think Woke man in a Dress or this is. Wow. They're both pretty. Pretty good. Woke man in a Dress is a really, really good. I ate. I just.

[Jared Freid]

That's on YouTube.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

For free. Everyone go to Bob the drag queen's YouTube page as well and go watch his special. I got to go watch it, because now I'm excited.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And it's free.

[Jared Freid]

And it's free. Waiting for you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

For a Friday night, especially with how cold it is, you know, put it in the queue and get to it. But also go to Mulan Rouge. The Musical is playing through July, but March 22 is the last date you can see Bob the Drag Queen. He is here with us. We are going to be answering emails. We have dating advice emails. If. If you want to come see me, I'm on the road. I mean, I got some shows. I got some shows going on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where can I see you?

[Jared Freid]

We can see me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Remember three things.

[Jared Freid]

This is. I had to remember. That's how good a. I was there

[Bob the Drag Queen]

for you, which I appreciate.

[Jared Freid]

I. You know, listen, I. It's not about me. It's not about me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's about us.

[Jared Freid]

It's about us. Jared making the funnies.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You got any siblings?

[Jared Freid]

I have a younger brother.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How much younger?

[Jared Freid]

Four years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Four years.

[Jared Freid]

Four years younger than me. You have siblings?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Two.

[Jared Freid]

Older, Younger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have an older brother and a younger brother.

[Jared Freid]

What do they do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My older brother is a chef.

[Jared Freid]

A chef?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Where do they.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In Atlanta for the. For a children's hospital.

[Jared Freid]

That's a. Wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That is like a.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So a really good person.

[Jared Freid]

Well, that's a good person, but that's like a character in a sitcom. Like. That's a movie. That's a romcom character.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It does get. But my brother's kind of. I think he's kind of boring, but he's just like a really kind of plain. Like, he's a really plain guy.

[Jared Freid]

Is he married?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, he's married.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And living in the Atlanta suburbs and.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, he lives in the city. He lives in Atlanta proper. I grew up in the Atlanta suburbs.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But he Lives in. In Atlanta proper. In the. In the. In the. In the inner perimeter, as they say.

[Jared Freid]

ITP.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then my younger brother is 18, so he doesn't.

[Jared Freid]

And what's. What. What are their aspirations?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In college? He wants to be a therapist.

[Jared Freid]

Look at that. So were you always the performer? Like, I'm the only performer. My family was the family. Just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My cousin Bentley. My cousin Bentley is a singer. Shout out to Bentley Caldwell.

[Jared Freid]

Shout out. Was there like. Like, was it, you know, Thanksgiving and Bob's gonna go up and, you know,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

they're mostly annoyed by me. Mostly. Especially my older brother because I didn't grow up. My younger brother, obviously, he's 21 years younger than me. There's mostly annoyed. My. Obviously loved me a lot. She was very much into a lot of what I had to do, but I think I was really just mostly annoying.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was a really annoying child.

[Jared Freid]

Like, here we go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Very cry. I cried a lot.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Constant tears over anything.

[Jared Freid]

Was that an attention thing? Is that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Probably. But also just. I was a very emotional. I was a very emotional kid. But I also really love attention to.

[Jared Freid]

I guess. What do you do for that? As, like a parent? You're like, this is just another.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, one time my mom. I remember we were laying in bed and there was a comic book on the. And it had storm on it. I really wanted the comic book. And I was like, can you hand me that comic book? And she was like, just grab it yourself. Like, it's literally right there.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I just started going. I just went like. And then she grabbed the comic book and she handed it to me. And right when I went to go grab it, she pulled it back and she goes, I just want you to know I'm handing you this book because I love you, not because you're crying. The crying has nothing to do with this. And honestly, I stopped.

[Jared Freid]

That was the day I said that was it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I stopped. I stopped whining and crying.

[Jared Freid]

There's someone with a child right now that cries a lot. They're like, I didn't expect this podcast to save my life today.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And by the way, by the way, it's not going to work for them.

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're going to be like, advice.

[Jared Freid]

They're going to write to us.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Lying.

[Jared Freid]

Listen, if you want to see me cry on the road, I do it every night on stage. I'm going to be in Salt Lake city, City Tempe, Arizona, L.A. los Angeles. I'm coming to Los Angeles.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Los Angeles. Where you going? To Los Angeles.

[Jared Freid]

I'm doing some theater downtown, which is where they put all the big acts. The wil. No, I'm not doing the cool one. I'm doing the Belasco.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The Belasco. That's. Yes.

[Jared Freid]

You know that one. All right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm going to do the nice spot.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You Italian?

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Greek?

[Jared Freid]

No. I get those.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jewish.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you. Jewish, Jewish, Greek and Italian is only three things. So thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Only three things you could have.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you. I appreciate it. You went, you went Italian and Greek first, which is every Jew's dream. So let me just. So let's get into the episode.

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[Jared Freid]

It.

[Skims Sponsor]

It's the only underwear that just feels like as comfortable as not wearing underwear, which for me is a pretty big thing. I really love their fits everybody T shirt bra. I wear it all around the house. I wear it out to do errands and their scoop rowlette because like, again, it's so, so comfy and it also looks great. It's really flattering, which is really hard to find. Shop my favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order. Be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and to select our show in the drop down menu that follows.

[Alison Hammond]

Dearest gentle reader, this is lady Alison Hammond, host of the official Bridgeton podcast. I'll be sitting down for high tea and fancy bon bons with my favorite members of the Bridgerton cast like Luke Thompson and Yerin Ha, AKA Benedict and Sophie, Claudia Jesse and Hannah Dodd, who play our beloved Bridgerton sisters, Eloise and Francesca. I'll even be holding court with Queen Charlotte herself, Golda Rocheville and Mama Bridgerton, Ruth Gemmell. I'll also be chatting to some of the brilliant minds who bring the ton to life, such as showrunner Jess Brownau and TV legend Shonda Rhimes. You'll be able to watch our video episodes on Netflix right away. Meanwhile, audio episodes will debut weekly on Spotify, Apple People and wherever you get your podcasts. So, gentle reader, don your finest attire and Ready your heart for the official Bridgerton podcast.

[Jared Freid]

If the Featherington carriages are rocking, do not go a knocking.

[Alison Hammond]

It's a gala ball and you're all invited.

[Jared Freid]

You have a. You're in a relationship?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I got two boyfriends.

[Jared Freid]

Two boyfriends?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. One of them is Jewish.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And you had your.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Me. Grindr.

[Jared Freid]

Grindr, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're many girls on Grindr.

[Jared Freid]

No. Keep looking. Yeah, I think I'm in the wrong.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not a great spot.

[Jared Freid]

I did.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are some girls on Grinder, though. Just, you know. There are girls. Yeah, there are some girls. There are some cisgender women on Grindr just on their browsing down by a gay guy.

[Jared Freid]

Is that like a. Like a thing for them? Is that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've only seen it a few times.

[Jared Freid]

Is that like a power thing? Do you think they're trying to say I can make that happen? And that's like. Like a little bit of their.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think they want to have sex. And they know gay guys are slutty and. And are easy. I mean, all guys are easy.

[Jared Freid]

How do you work the dynamic between your boyfriend and your boyfriend?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, they're friends, which is. Which is nice.

[Jared Freid]

That helps.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And we live separately, so me.

[Jared Freid]

All three.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Me and Jacob live together.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then me and Tao live together on. We're like seven.

[Jared Freid]

How do you deal with the rents and. Or the mortgages? What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I pay it.

[Jared Freid]

All of it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, they're.

[Jared Freid]

Everyone needs to keep going.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're brok.

[Jared Freid]

So you pay both rents or both more. You own.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you have a mortgage and a rent.

[Jared Freid]

Mortgage and rent. Well, at least you're getting the tax benefits. Yeah, that's why everyone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exactly. That's. That's polyamory. Everyone in polymer is doing it for the tax break.

[Jared Freid]

That's all it is. So, I mean, you meet one on Grindr, you meet the other.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where? Oh, on Grindr.

[Jared Freid]

Both on Grinder. Yeah. And how do you. Did you guys start as an E M?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

E M. What is this?

[Jared Freid]

Ethically non monogamous? You're the woke. Yeah. How'd you start so many people?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, me and Jacob. Yeah. We kind of started.

[Jared Freid]

Jacob is obviously the Jewish one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is your. You're correct. You're correct. We started. Yeah, we started non monogamous. We were never, like, you know, locking it down.

[Jared Freid]

Right. This was just like, hey, we feel safe together.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And then we want to explore elsewhere.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And that was kind of the discussion, pretty much.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And then you find another guy that you feel safe with as well, that you just Is it. Is there one that's more sexual? More. And there's another that's more friendship. Are they similar?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Every relationship has ebbs and flows, so at one moment, your relationship will be more sexual. But they're two separate relationships, so there are moments where they can both become hypersexual or both become quite friendlier. You know, I think you go through the same ebbs and flows that every relationship goes through.

[Jared Freid]

I think you're absolutely right. Before we get started, I actually was thinking. So you give the drag name to misguided. Misguided Dylan Efron.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I gave myself some drag names, and I want to hear what you think. I did ask Mateo Lane.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who.

[Jared Freid]

Mutual friend of ours. I said. I. I asked. I said, bob's coming on the podcast, and this is his. I. I asked, is there anything I should know about Bob?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And he said, Bob is always 10 steps ahead of you. That's Bob in a nutshell. So that was his quote.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was only like. Like a Batman villain.

[Jared Freid]

I know. Listen. Ten steps ahead, I tell you. Okay. So then I asked, what would my drag. He said, tell him I said your drag name. So this is him telling me to read this. I'm just making sure everyone knows this is what he said. My. I'm not saying it. He said, tell him I said your drag name is Baguette with an F. Faggot. Well, I wouldn't say it. I would never be allowed to say my own.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, you know, who could? Dylan Efron. Yeah. You know, I feel like your drag name can say a lot about you.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you can say, for example, I know a Jewish drag queen named Lady Cine Gaga. She wants to chant every drag name.

[Jared Freid]

Makes me go, oh, like, it makes me. It makes me weak. Lady Cinegaga.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Lady Cinegaga.

[Jared Freid]

I love it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She wants you to know she's Jewish, and she wants you to know she likes pop music.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So when you hear Lady Synagoga, you know everything you need to know about her, Right?

[Jared Freid]

Well, I like bread.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There you go.

[Jared Freid]

I do like a baguette.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, there it is.

[Jared Freid]

I. I'm a fan of the gay community.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, Here we go.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know if that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I mean, then, I mean, I think if you're in drag, we already think you're a fan of the gay community. Sure. Your name could also be, like, Shanita. Carb Load. You know what I mean? And then your last name is Carb Load.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You get to have carbs. And then the Word load is in there. And gays love.

[Jared Freid]

Love. Yeah, they're. They really do love.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I'm not even being facetious. Gays love.

[Jared Freid]

Is that a thing in the gay community? Loads.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are loads a thing in the gay community?

[Jared Freid]

I think if straight men were allowed to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That just has loads on it, where you're saying it just says loads.

[Jared Freid]

What a way to walk in a room. Guys who literally tell the world what you want.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know a guy who will, like, rent a hotel room and then just

[Jared Freid]

go in there, fill it with loads.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, no, the. I mean, he takes them all with him. You know what I mean?

[Jared Freid]

In what vials is he like. How's he travel with that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

TSA will go crazy.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, in his person.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's all.

[Jared Freid]

So he saves up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, he. Oh, my God. You don't know anything. This is crazy. So he rents a hotel room, he puts down, like, tarps or sheets or whatever, and then he signs up. Is this not what this podcast is for?

[Jared Freid]

We know this. We are here to learn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He signs. Listen, guys. And they come through, and they each drop a load off inside of his person in his body. And then he. And then you mark on yours on your back so you'll know where you are. So you know if you're the first one.

[Jared Freid]

Because what are the tarps for if it's in his body?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because you know they're splashing.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

After you're so full, it's gonna start splashing back on you.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what I mean?

[Jared Freid]

I have learned a lot today. So essentially, that I should get my places. If rent somewhere, I should get it clean first.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, probably. But also, you need. Now you can probably also learn where you want to be in the load lineup. Do you want to be at the beginning, or do you want to be in the middle? Do you want to be at the end?

[Jared Freid]

Well, I'm sure there's a fetish for all three app.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

See?

[Jared Freid]

Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And that's why you're an ally.

[Jared Freid]

That's right. I'm here for you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think we found our next grand Marshall.

[Jared Freid]

Here's. Here's my drag names that I thought of. You ready?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Huggable. I didn't like it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. You know, can we talk about why it's not a good dragon?

[Jared Freid]

Okay. Please.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is your name Hugga, or is it a hug?

[Jared Freid]

I guess I. That doesn't work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. And elbow's not a name. And a hug is not a name.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, so let me go to my next one. Matzah Bry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Matzah. Okay. The name. The first name is Matzah.

[Jared Freid]

Matzah Bry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Jacob will know the importance of Matzah Bry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know. I understand.

[Jared Freid]

You know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. This is not a bad.

[Jared Freid]

I shouldn't have assumed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is not a bad.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, Dre Dell.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

See, this is your best one yet. Okay. I think you're putting them in order of how great they are.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, yeah. I'm working my way through it. Cuddles Justice. I hope you got my wink.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is a superhero, not a. Not a drag queen.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. I'm sorry I went off course. Froyo.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Froyo. He's giving black.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. It didn't feel me when I wrote

[Bob the Drag Queen]

an afros too, though.

[Jared Freid]

Yes, they can.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jewish people and Bob Ross.

[Jared Freid]

All of us.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Is Bob Ross Jewish?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think he is.

[Jared Freid]

I always that fro.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I thought he was black. I think everyone sees themselves. I think everyone in this room thought Bob Ross was whatever they are.

[Jared Freid]

That's a good point. Okay. Ready, Forrest?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Rump. Do you have a nice ass?

[Jared Freid]

I don't know. I, I. You know, when people know. I guess I don't. Okay. Okay. Ready? I got more. Mazel top.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, okay. That, that's advertising.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, that's me saying, I'm gonna top you down. I'm gonna top you down. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Same thing as dreidel. Do you know what we call it? That's what we call if you have a. Like a 5 foot 4 Jewish top. They're a dreidel, really, because they're a little Jewish top.

[Jared Freid]

That's the funniest. See, this is. This is where male sexuality, the energy, when it's put in, Put towards. When all of it's put aside. You know, when you don't have to work towards figuring out a woman, you put it into important things like naming. Yeah. Like, I. I think Dre. Like, you know, dreidel having a nickname, that being a nickname. I love that. Okay. Burning Bush.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is the worst one.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That kind of.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Those are just words.

[Jared Freid]

Right? Right. You're fair. Honeycomb.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're like telephone.

[Jared Freid]

I'm new to the world. Okay, how about. Okay, well, this one's kind of just a word, but it's. I thought it was fun. Oh, Zempic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If the O stands up. If your name's like Ophelia Zempic.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. That's. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Then you could be. All my friends call me O.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. You're. You're on a good path, though.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you. I'M happy we got here. We got to this great place.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There were some good stuff in there. Listen, really good stuff.

[Jared Freid]

We write to edit as, you know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How about, like, Manny Chavez?

[Jared Freid]

Oh, I like that one. Because you could do, like, fun old guy drag stuff. Like, I could, like, kind of go in a funny direction.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The name is Manny.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, Manny. I do, like, have, like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know why I was like, so New York.

[Jared Freid]

It was like a New York Jew in there. I. There's like, I could wear like, the, like the apron, you know. Manny Chevitz.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you ever wear the yarmulk as a kid?

[Jared Freid]

No. To temple when you had to, but

[Bob the Drag Queen]

not like out and about.

[Jared Freid]

No, no, no, no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was thinking, my partner's the same way. But then he kind of wore a. Sometimes he wants to just signal that he's like. He'll be like. If he's somewhere where he thinks people are going to be, like, anti Semitic, he's like, I really want to turn it up, really put in their face. But then this other Jewish guy saw him and tried to have, like, a Jew off with him.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then he started speaking Hebrew. He was like, hey. I mean, he's like, I don't want to speak Hebrew.

[Jared Freid]

Right. That's kind of the problem with wearing the yarmulkes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And they started, like, trying to out Jew you.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How do you feel about that? That?

[Jared Freid]

I. I. No, I don't want to. I'm a high holiday Jew. I do high holidays. I went to summer camp. I'm. I'm looking culture, you know, I like the community of it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's like a poser. When someone starts being like, well, well, wait, when did you. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, easy.

[Jared Freid]

I think a lot of most American Jews feel that way. They're like, you know, I just don't want to be tested.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This may shock you, but I used to know the cottage by heart.

[Jared Freid]

Really.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I used to.

[Jared Freid]

Did you have a lot of Jewish friends?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Were you around play? I did. Was Angels in America.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The writer of Angels America is Jewish, and he put the cottage in there.

[Jared Freid]

That is the thing when you're in a play, you like and you have to learn a part.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You. You get this, like, kind of side gig to, like, learn about someone's life or about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Oh, my God. I learned so much about Mormonism.

[Jared Freid]

Right? Is that what that. That's what that plays about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's about. It's about basically Christianity, Mormonism and Judaism and how those things all kind of

[Jared Freid]

like, are very similar. No, no. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Never mind how. They're very different.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. All right, let's go to something we do know about. We're gonna give people advice on their lives. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also about the AIDS epidemic and about angels. It's not. I want to be clear. It's not. It's not just about Jewish people. Mormons and any.

[Jared Freid]

No, angels in America is about the Jew, you know, being Jewish and doing

[Bob the Drag Queen]

about the AIDS epidemic.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, okay. That too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mostly.

[Jared Freid]

So let's do some emails. Go follow if you don't already. At Bob the Drag Queen, we're trying to get him to mainstream status with millions of followers. I think we can help that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have millions already.

[Jared Freid]

I'm gonna.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I already have millions of followers.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. You made it sound like you know, Caleb. Aaron is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was crazy.

[Jared Freid]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I already have millions. That was insane.

[Jared Freid]

I'm sorry. I. I didn't mean to invite you here to insult you. I had no idea. I didn't know what I was dealing with. He's saying I. I don't know if I'm mainstream. I'm so niche. Millions of follow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like all these movies and stuff. He does like movies and stuff.

[Jared Freid]

You're on Broadway.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is true.

[Jared Freid]

Mulan Rouge, the musical. He'll be there till March 22nd. Okay, you ready?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Get tickets.

[Jared Freid]

Dear J and B, huge fan. Have an issue that I need some help with. I'm a 25 year old straight woman living in New York City. I've been dating my boyfriend, 25, for about seven months. He's a bass player in a band made up in. Is it really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that's a. That's.

[Jared Freid]

Is it don't date a musician or don't date a bass player?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, bass players are kind of probably some of the nicest musicians. Don't date a saxophone player.

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you kidding me?

[Jared Freid]

That'd be undercover cocky. Like to me, the guitarist, you're like, stay away from the guitar.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The guitarist could be a good guy. A saxophone player. Not with a 10 foot pole. Should you ever date a saxophone?

[Jared Freid]

What's the reason?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I just heard from enough people that saxophone players are the worst ones. And some of those people were raised by those saxophone players.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm like, I believe you.

[Jared Freid]

It's like when you hear about like a photographer being like kind of like this like dirt bag type of job.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Both my boyfriends are photographers.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, my God. I can't. I can't win with this guy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They are.

[Jared Freid]

Are they really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're Both of them.

[Jared Freid]

No, I'm sure they're great dirt bags. Or they treat you nice. I'm sure they're.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're. They're my dirt bags. They're your.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. And that's what matters.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exactly.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. We're going to learn the meaning of Christmas by the end of this. Exactly. He's a bass player in a band made up entirely of women. And a couple months ago, for an upcoming show, they were playing around with an idea and he dec to dress in drag. At first it felt playful and fun. He's a. He was a gorgeous woman.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sorry, have you seen Some Like It Hot?

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is. This is. This is what Some Like It Hot is about.

[Jared Freid]

Is it really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's literally some guys join an all women band. One of them, I think, plays the bass and they dress up as women to join.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, well, that's Bosom buddies.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is. This is literally. What?

[Jared Freid]

There's like a million movies like this too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is pretty old.

[Jared Freid]

This is Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is this a bit.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's like. Anyway, he's on a runaway train

[Jared Freid]

after this. Okay, so he was a gorgeous woman. The night of the show, it was a success. They decided to do it again. After the second show. He told me he really loved dressing up for the shows and wants to explore it more. He started investing in makeup and has shared that he wants to explore becoming an alter Persona during his performances. I want to be clear and up front that I'm pro LGBTQ plus, open minded and genuinely trying to approach this with curiosity rather than judgment. When you hear that, when we have

[Bob the Drag Queen]

to start with, yeah, it sounds like she don't want to date. No baguette with an F. You know, that's what. That's what it sounds like to me.

[Jared Freid]

Well, she can't even say, you know, she's like. Let me just start. I voted for Hillary.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. You know I'm with her.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I understand that drag does not automatically mean someone is gay or trans. I know. Are straight men who enjoy drag. My boyfriend has told me he doesn't identify as a woman, that he's straight.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just feel comfortable around her. He. He would never tell her she's judgy, right?

[Jared Freid]

Well, I guess, yeah. If she's like, well, are you. I guess if your first question to. I'd like to put on, you know, dress in drag for the show. Are you straight? You don't really feel like that's a safe space?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not a safe space. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I do Trust him. Still, I'm feeling unsure about how to emotionally process this in our relationship. I think I'm learning that I may have some traditional ideas and that I don't love that my boyfri has asked me for makeup advice and I'm meant to support this new exploration. I think I'm feeling insecure and overthinking about still being desired and celebrated in the bedroom as a woman, and that this part of him doesn't unintentionally diminish our intimacy. I don't really have anyone in my life I feel safe talking to about this. I know friends and family would likely make fun of him or immediately tell me to break up, which isn't helpful. Before this, I genuinely thought I could see myself marrying him. Now I'm questioning whether I fully understand him. What conversations should I have to be making sure the. The noise of how relationships are supposed to look doesn't cloud what actually matters between us. How could I be supportive of my boyfriend exploring the idea of drag while still feeling secure, desired, and confident? My role as his partner, supportive, but still human?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I want to say a lot of things, please. In the world of drag, a lot of people, you learn a lot about yourself when you start playing with gender. Okay? You learn more than you. More than you thought you would, to be honest. You find out that once you start to break down what the separation between gender and sexuality and how gender works in the world and how it is perceived, once you undo it, you can never put it back together. Right?

[Jared Freid]

So the toothpaste is out of the two.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The toothpaste is out of the two.

[Jared Freid]

For him or for her?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

For him.

[Jared Freid]

Okay?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

For him. So once you start being around these liberal, these libs in, you know, in progressive people, you're gonna start to realize that you're unpackaging a lot of what you have in your own head. And then a lot of people discover who they are through drag, gender wise, right? It's actually not uncommon. It doesn't happen all the time. I'm not saying every drag queen is like, I'm a woman. But there are moments where someone will do drag for hehes and hahas and be like, and then now no one's laughing. And then I still. I feel beautiful. And at the end of the day, I don't wanna take the makeup off because I feel like myself or I'm seeing a reflection of the thing that I really wanna be. I'm not saying this will happen with her husband, but there is a chance that he wants to dress up. He likes to feel pretty.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It seems like he likes to feel pretty. You know what I mean? And it sounds like she wants a more traditional man. I think that if you're going to be on this journey if, like, if he, if everything else is the same, except he just likes dressing up. Now you have an opportunity to be there for him in a way and grow together in a way. Because he's still attracted to women. He's still laying down with you at night. And you don't have to. You don't need a man to celebrate a woman. There are women who celebrate women all the time. There are nonbinary people who celebrate women for being women all the time. But it sounds like she needs her celebration to come from a man and someone who feels like a man and is very much a man.

[Jared Freid]

Well, do you think it sounds like one of her issues here? It feels like base when you write, I wanna make sure everyone knows I'm pro lgbtq. When you write that. We both kind of eye rolled that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Because we're sitting here going, and I love black people. Right, Right, right, right. And I'm, you know, I'm not a

[Bob the Drag Queen]

racist and my best friend is Jewish.

[Jared Freid]

Right, Right, right. When you start doing that, it's like what's coming next? You know what I mean? So, yeah, I do think like what you're saying, if all else is the same, what's. What's the issue here? This is your partner and you're. I think her concern would probably be, am I allowed to be. If I say I'm not attracted anymore, this turns me off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Off.

[Jared Freid]

Am I a hateful person? And I, I could understand why that would be tough for her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, like, because. What do you. Because I, I would go, yeah, I guess you guys have. Your interest went in different ways. I could understand that he got more into something that you didn't understand or didn't really.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think it makes you hateful, but it doesn't make you open minded.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which you claim to be.

[Jared Freid]

Right. In your email.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your email.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So no, I don't, I don't think that wanting to not date a guy who's doing drag makes you hateful. But it certain. But I don't think you got to take open minded out of your bio.

[Jared Freid]

Right. We're gonna change up the. But you are a close minded.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what I mean?

[Jared Freid]

Because somewhat okay with the LGBTQ community.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like you want it like you're cool with gay people, just not in your house. You know what I mean? Right. Like, that's kind of what it's giving. And I think that you gotta just come to grips with the fact that you don't want to date no gay guy or a feminine man or a man who puts on dresses, which is crazy, because, like, I feel like on the surface, people make it sound. They're actually really into it. You know, who's the British guy puts on dresses all the times? Harry Styles.

[Jared Freid]

Well, Harry Styles, but, But the, the comic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, wait. Well, she identified as a woman now.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, so she's a woman.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, her stage name is Eddie Izzard, but she actually has, like, a, a name that she goes by in her daily life. But her, her, her professional name is now Eddie Izzard.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And I don't know Eddie Izzard enough or the history of it enough to really talk about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Eddie Izzard was for a while, declaring that she was like a, an executive transvestite, I believe was the term that she used. I mean, like, just a very sharply dressed, you know, man dressing as a woman. But then, but then you, you, you hang out in the barbershop long enough, you're gonna get a haircut, right? You keep fooling around with this gender bendy shit, you're gonna realize that gender's not real. And once you deconstruct what gender and realize how unreal it is and how it's really just how things around you are going, you have to intentionally choose to frame yourself within gender. Right?

[Jared Freid]

Well, I, Sometimes I don't feel smart enough to even, like, talk about the subject.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I, I don't think you got to be. So I know some really dumb trans people. Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Well, I, but I, I, I, I look, well, I would say, for Eddie Izzard. I kind of. We, we all watched publicly, you know, Eddie is. Or go from one look to more to identifying as a woman.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So we've watched that kind of, like, publicly. So, like, you, like, you're saying, like, Susie. Susie. So Susie. We've watched them become Susie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, publicly, which I'm sure is difficult for them, you know, on, on a certain level. But also, like, what you're saying, like, once you unpack it, you start going down the road of it, you start realizing. I think what's interesting about this email is like, like the way, you know, this guy's saying, I'm straight to his girlfriend, and she goes, I guess I'll believe that. Like, it kind of shows you the plight of a straight guy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you Want to hear my real hot take?

[Jared Freid]

Please. I would love to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There actually aren't any straight people you think doesn't exist.

[Jared Freid]

Straight doesn't exist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are no straight people. There are no cisgender people there. It's not real.

[Jared Freid]

You think that's them conforming to a society that has told them that's how it goes, that's the way it works. And if they were left to a vacuum, that they would go in the direction that they felt was that day, that week, that month, that year, that person.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I really do. And I think that everyone's a little gay and everyone's a little straight and everyone's a little non binary, but you can't say that. You know what I mean? But I actually don't think there are any. There are no straight people. It's a myth. Straightness is a myth. I really, truly believe, believe that in our heart of hearts.

[Jared Freid]

If you think of the constrictions that you're bringing up, like the societal ones, don't you think that men, straight men who are identifying as straight men, have to deal with that the most?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, the pre. I could never. Like I did 10 years, but I could never again. Right. Pretend to be. I had one year as a straight man. I was a straight boy for 17 years. I was a straight man for one year. And I was like, I'm tapping out.

[Jared Freid]

You're out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You might as well put me in the, in the, in the figure four leg lock. Hit me with the mandible claw. I'm tapping out.

[Jared Freid]

Suck it. No, I, I think we're on the same page here, like, because you listen. This email is hilarious to me. A woman writes in about how this guy's, you know, this, this new thing that he's finding about himself is now making her life horrible.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. You know, if it's wild to me, right?

[Jared Freid]

Like, if you listen, I. If any straight man goes to a woman and says, let's do this new thing in sexually, like, if any dress, I'd like to dress up as a woman, they would go, who did you do that with? Who told you to do that? What? What, what am I doing wrong? It would never be. I'm so excited that you found this new party.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also, what a gift that he trusts you enough to tell you, right? This is truly a gift because what's going to happen is either these two are going to work it out and they're going to have a beautiful relationship and discover some new sexual stuff that they have that they are going to be gagged if they want to do, or he's going to, they're going to stay together. He's going to repress everything. And then, you know, I had a show called We're Here on HBO years ago, years ago, and we did an episode in Florida, and there was this couple, it was a trans woman and her wife. And she came out at like 68 as a trans woman. She was, like, living her life like, like, for years, hiding who she was for years, just presenting as this macho, masculine, this, that, the other. She almost took her life because she couldn't live like that anymore. And then her wife found her. The trans woman's wife, who was a CIS woman, found her, like, you know, basically some sort of failed suicide attempt. And then she was like, I would rather have you like this as yourself than not have you at all. And they were honestly really happy together.

[Jared Freid]

It's a beautiful story.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, as, as tragic as it is to, like, feel that way your whole life, but then to be with your person.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Comfortably. So at the end of the day,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

you know, supportive but still human has the opportunity to be that. But you don't have to wait until you're 60 late, actually. I don't know how they are.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, 25. Right. She's 25 and he's 25. Life.

[Jared Freid]

Right. I, I, it can, well, it can go in two different directions. It's either you want to be here for this and, like, see where this can go for both of you guys, or you got to opt out, and that's okay too. Like, I, I think, like, why do

[Bob the Drag Queen]

you think gay guys wear skirts? Like, think really, really think about it for a second. Like airflow. No, I mean, not all gay guys, but gay guys dress in more women's clothing than straight guys. Just that we can just visually see this. Right, Right. And I feel like it is because we are still men, but we have released ourselves at least a little bit from the social construct of what it means to be a man, because we've already been outcast, Right. So we're already on the outside, so who cares what you're going to think? So I'm going to wear my heels, I'm going to wear a skirt, I'm going to wear lipstick. I'm going to talk this way, I'm going to get my hair done this way. I'm going to, you know, do it a little bit extra, a little bit different because I'm already on the outskirts.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And we, there's no more you can take from you Know you no more. You can make fun of or make us feel, you know, different then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And there's no accusations that can be lobbed at us because we, we already confess and have it, have admitted. And you're not going to tell me there's not some straight guy who saw one of these. Like, there's that guy Wisdom, you know, Wisdom.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know Wisdom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's a stylist.

[Jared Freid]

No, Wisdom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's a, he's a stylist on Tick Tock. He's a straight guy. He's really stylish. And he wears these skirts sometimes and they, they, they go hard. They look really good, right? And I know these other straight guys, like, man, I wish I could have rocked that. Who's that one rapper who wears the women's clothes sometimes? Lil Uzi.

[Jared Freid]

So he looks good. I think we're inching towards that a little bit. I mean, look at the Van Cleef necklace. I see that. That's like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is that?

[Jared Freid]

There's like Van Cleef is like the jewelry company.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Huh?

[Jared Freid]

It's on all these athletes. Everyone's wearing it. It doesn't look very, I mean, this is like a small thing. Yeah, yeah, that. But I'm saying it doesn't look like a manly jewelry. It does look like it's kind of any gender could wear it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's cute.

[Jared Freid]

I, it's, and it's a good look and I see it on guys and you go, oh, okay. They're inching a little bit that way. I, I think it's hard. I think it gets put on straight men a lot. I do think, like, we don't get the, the blessing of blaming society as much because everyone says, well, you've gotten the, the goods of society. But there's like, this is an angle, you know, this guy who's put on, you know, getting dressed in drag to do his shows and confiding in a woman who's now going, you know, how could I feel loved as a woman? You're like, whoa, I didn't even real, you know, like, that's a tough place to put him.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do think straight guys have the reap the benefit of society, but you also have the highest pressure because you have a lot to live up to. And for like a gay guy, we people don't expect.

[Jared Freid]

Well, if I walked in in your shoes, which I gave you a lot of con, and I like them, they're great. I do. But I, I, if I walked in, there would be like, I would have a lot of, like, explaining to do or.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Unless you're really good at something. Right. Like, for example, kids could wear these shoes. Interesting. They're really good at something.

[Jared Freid]

I didn't expect this was gonna be.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Prince could wear pumps and a thong, but he's really good at something.

[Jared Freid]

I gotta get better at stand up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't even gotta be that. I don't even gotta be that good. I can just walk anywhere because I'm just that gay. You gotta be that good or you gotta be that gay?

[Jared Freid]

It's one or the other. Oh. Could this vintage store be any cuter?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Right?

[Skims Sponsor]

And the best part, they accept Discover.

[Jared Freid]

Except Discover in a little place like this? I don't think so, Jennifer.

[Alison Hammond]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Huh?

[Jared Freid]

Discover's accepted where I like to shop. Come on, baby. Get with the times.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

So we shouldn't get the parachute pants. These are making a comeback, I think. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. Based on the February 2025 Nielsen report.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster, Zero Ultra, that's the OG it kicked off this whole zero sugar energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the white can, branch out.

[Jared Freid]

Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

and every single one is Zero Sugar. Tap the banner to learn more. Can I read the next question?

[Jared Freid]

Yes, please. Let's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, J and J.

[Jared Freid]

So this is. So we play my Jordan is my normal. You're here in place of the other J, who's coming back. And if you want to hear from Jordana, we have benefits episodes. Sign up for benefits.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've done nothing to Jordan.

[Jared Freid]

Bob has been nothing but a gracious, safe and sound. Safe and sound with. With. You know, at this point, I think, you know, with babies, you know, so we. We're so excited.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She had. Yeah. Oh, okay.

[Jared Freid]

Well, she had one. I was like, it's a long story. She stole one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, well, you got.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, you gotta steal one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, you gotta get a little bogo.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Birth one, get one.

[Jared Freid]

So she had a surrogate and she had one, and I got her onesies that said bogo babies.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you realize,

[Jared Freid]

well, we're gonna play a game called icky or picky. So this person's writing in, finding out they were turned off, and they're asking us, is it a nick or were they being picky?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Got it. Hi, jj. I found Jared through my girlfriend watching his Bachelor recaps. They're hilarious. I figured I'd write in with a question and an honest take from a guy's perspective. J and J I have some TV related issues. My girlfriend has always been very into celebrity gossip and reality tv, which I've never really cared for. I'll admit it can be amusing once in a while, but overall it's not my thing. For a bit more context, my girlfriend works full time, but it's not like she has all day to consume this material. Yet somehow she still manages to watch two to three hours of TV shows and scroll through a huge amount of social media every day. We're talking housewives, Summer House, Love is Blind, Traders. And yes, I even know that Lisa was eliminated from Trader. Spoiler alert. Which is not something I'd ever I'd ever thought I'd type My girlfriend will start some days with can you believe what happened last night? And it takes a moment for me to realize she's talking about a show and not a friend slash family or story from someone we know in real life. With Love is Blind Season here, I can't help but wonder how many other lies I'll be forced to learn about. For years I felt like this material influences our lives. I've started to it started to give me the ick. All this information about other people's lives is a parasocial relationship that I do not agree to be a part of. I love my girlfriend, but it's turning me off. I can't help but wonder, would you date someone who watches reality TV and forms parasocial relationships with reality stars? Jared, I know you watch the Bachelor. Thank God for your recaps. They're hilarious and the only way people should consume reality tv. But if you were dating a woman who was this consumed, would you continue? You I get it. All the girls I knew were into this stuff when we were teens, but we're in our 30s now. Did this still feel normal? How do I talk to her about this? So icky or picky? My girlfriend has a parasocial relationship with with reality TV stars. A man who wants to focus on his own reality.

[Jared Freid]

Bob the Drag Queen. What do you think?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think that some of your words you're using just aren't actually the really what they are like. Like parasocial is a pretty strong word. Like a parasocial relationship is not just like I like this person. Parasocial is like I think Kim Kardashian is my friend. So I think it's kind of like how you go online and every. I'm like, I'm not saying. I'm not saying it didn't happen to you, but there's no way. I'm gonna take, like, a lot. There's no way all of your exes are narcissist.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's no way all of your parents are. It's just not possible. There's no way everyone online claiming their parents and their exes are nurses. They can't all be nurses. Right. Statistically speaking, it just can't be. It can't be that true. You know what I mean? So I think that, yeah, all of

[Jared Freid]

your exes are narcissists.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

But they're all dating you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exactly.

[Jared Freid]

So you're the main character in this shitty story.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I think that. I don't think your girlfriend has parasocial relationship. I think she just really likes reality tv.

[Jared Freid]

Well, you were on Traders. You were famously on Traders. Again, beloved on Traders. Did you feel that there were people that had kind of tweeted at you threads? You know, do people go on social media and try to connect with you in a way that you were like, you've gone too far?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've had maybe one person go what I thought was too far to the point where it actually made me really uncomfortable and I actually genuinely felt unsafe. But, like, one person.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Of all the millions that you have following you as we went over. Millions, Millions, millions.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've. I'm 3.2 on. On tick tock, 2.1 on Instagram, 640, 000 on Twitter.

[Jared Freid]

I can't even believe toots that I didn't memorize. I. I'm having those numbers tattooed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you remember 22nd, which was the

[Jared Freid]

one to make sure. Listen, I got to make you your money.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Those numbers make you another. Well, they make you something.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I. But yeah, I mean, I. I've had one where I was like, oh, I feel really uncomfortable with you. And I think that you think that we're close and we're not. Other than that, I've had, like, I've had some really overzealous fans, but they don't actually think that they, like, knew me. They were just really excited when they saw me.

[Jared Freid]

I think I agree with you that he's speaking too much in extremes. Like, it's funny, this email both makes a point and doesn't. Like, kind of ruins his own point. Yeah, like, he ruins his own point the minute you say, with reality TV, we're in our 30s now. Does this still feel normal? I don't understand what age you think everyone should opt out of watching a TV show and discussing it. That's a crazy. Like, to me, you're putting a morality on watching tv. That is you trying to win the argument. It's not really you trying to have a discussion.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have a theory about this, actually. I think what the issue is that reality TV became really, really popular when we were kids.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So it seems like a kid thing, but it's not a kid thing anymore. It has aged up with us.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So maybe boomers aren't really into reality tv, but that's because they didn't really have it. So when you think about video games. Yes. Our parents don't play video games, but now adults play video games.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Adults play video games now.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Like, Right. You have to move with the times that you see around you, not the ones you saw.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

When you were growing up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think reality TV is for. Is for children. I mean, as I'm, I'm a product. I mean, I've been on We're Here. I've been on RuPaul's Drag Race. I've been on the Traders, I've been on Last Coming Standing. I've been on America's Got Talentown Talent. I am a product of reality tv.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I will tell you, there are no children at my shows. Right. They're adults. So my shows are 18 up.

[Jared Freid]

But. So that's why it's such. You've, you've like ruined your own argument. If the argument is, hey, I want to talk to my girlfriend about something other than reality tv.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're.

[Jared Freid]

You're totally right to have the ick. Hey, all we talk about is people from TV that I have no relation to. Like, I think there's like, I was like, I kind of wrote down. I was thinking, I was like, what can you with reality tv? Like, what. What would be an ick? And what would be this person being the ick? I think like not being able to talk about reality TV because it's just reality TV is you being a piece of. Like you're being an. You're just trying to win. If the person brings up, oh, did you see what Bob did? And you're like, who? Like, if they go on first name basis with people on the show expecting that everyone knows Bob is Bob the Drag Queen, I would be like, context

[Bob the Drag Queen]

is a little crazy.

[Jared Freid]

Right? That's crazy. You'd be like, even though we live in the same house, I can't have you being like, so Sydney didn't win the tribal council.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I need more there. You have to catch me up. We have to be in a discussion about reality TV that relates to our life because I. That's what I love about reality tv, relating it to my life. What would I do if I was

[Bob the Drag Queen]

your favorite TV show?

[Jared Freid]

I like that show because I like the arc of it. I like. I like how. How there's a beginning, middle, and end.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And then I like that it's everything. Like professional wrestling, you know, I know it's fake, but they got to take the bumps. I'm sorry. I didn't. I have really messed up every single chance I've gotten with Bob the Drag Queen. I didn't mean to ruin professional wrestling. Please forgive me. I, I.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When Mick Foley got thrown off the helm of Cell, what are you trying to tell me right now?

[Jared Freid]

Well, this is my point, Right. Mick Foley had to land on the ground. Same with the Bachelor. You have to have first kiss. You got to meet the parents. You. This is how you act. And it's like, all reality shows are a great springboard for fun conversations about the world, society, what's going on. That's how this person did that. I think when people go over the bridge into cuckoo nuts banana land is when they start to be like. They start to, like, try and, like, litigate the person on tv.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you mean by that?

[Jared Freid]

Like, go on social media and be like, well, we have to take this person down. How they acted on a reality TV show. It's like, well, there are producers that edited this for months and months and months. Like, if there's a real, you know, problem that we have to go to the police about, you would hope that they would have done that, you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So my question is, it seems like, did he. You know, I have one of my partners, he loves running.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He really loves running.

[Jared Freid]

It's a tough.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I am not really into running.

[Jared Freid]

So they're waking up early.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Now in the cold.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He lives in la.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's doing his three miles a day and then trying to carve off time. I will say, though, because I'm interested in him, I am intrigued by his progress and his updates. I'm not really interested in the running stuff. He's, like, interested in, like, running cultures and these clubs and this club, and he goes to this park to do this, and he goes to that park to join this running club. He, like, really loves it. My other partner loves anime. I don't really watch anime. Right. I like hearing him talk about it from. It's exciting to see him be excited about something.

[Jared Freid]

You like his passion.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. But when I try to watch it with him, like, I tried to watch Attack on Titan or something like that, and I was like, I'm just not into this. It was honestly more interesting to hear you talk about it.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Than it is to actually watch it. Because I'm actually. At least I'm interested in you. At least I had you to look at also. Now I can't even look at you. I'm just looking at the thing.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And also, they know how your partner knows how to, like, Bobify it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That is, you know, they go, well, this is the part that would get Bob excited. And I think that's where I come back to this emailer. It's like, is your partner trying to make this material that they care a lot about that you don't care as much about interesting for you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

If they're doing that, then you are really being picky.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where's the third party, though? Like, why can't she. I do think maybe she should find someone who wants to talk about this stuff.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Well, there's a part again, when I talk about the Bachelor, there's. There's ways I would talk about it with a fan and there's ways I would talk about it with someone who has no idea what the show is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like, and also, if something happened on the Bachelor where they were like, this person left the show and it became national news, that's when I get to talk to, like, other people about it and I get to have fun conversations about. About how I would handle it and what men do and how.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just found out about Colton climbing the fence. Just. I just found out about it.

[Jared Freid]

Right. There are people being brought into Colton lore now because he's on Traders. So it's like, how were you gagging

[Bob the Drag Queen]

when he climbed the fence?

[Jared Freid]

The fencing was amazing. It was just. You could tell he was dealing with something. Like he was really going through something like that was. Yeah. For the listeners at home, Bob took baguette with an. Planning a wedding shouldn't feel overwhelming. The knot brings everything together in one place. Vendors who get your vibe, a custom

[Bob the Drag Queen]

planning checklist, guest list tools, and a

[Jared Freid]

free wedding website that syncs with it all. So instead of juggling a dozen apps and spreadsheets, you can actually enjoy getting married. Get [e-mail] audio the knot. Let's plan your wedding together. This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ready to refresh Your wardrobe. Nordstrom has all the latest styles for

[Jared Freid]

spring, from elevated dresses and denim to standout tops and accessories. Discover the trends and essentials you'll reach for again and again.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Jared Freid]

Make up to dating your closet. Effortless.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Shop in [e-mail] or download our app.

[Jared Freid]

All right, let's play some games. Okay, we're gonna play Red flagger. Deal breaker. You ready?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Red flagger. Deal breaker is the game that is sweeping the country. You are dating someone, it's going perfect, and then one thing happens. Is it a red flag? You see it, but you keep going. Or is it a deal breaker? You end it sight unseen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You ready?

[Jared Freid]

J and J. N.B. i just started dating a guy. Me, 33. Him, 36. He recently told me he was previously in an E and M relationship, but ethical nominal. Ethical non monogamy. But it didn't work out due to distance and job changes. I'm a simple girl and interested in monogamy as stated on my dating profile. When I asked if that's what he wants, he said it's not something he's looking for right now. This feels like a big red flag now that E M is still on the table. Red flagger. Deal breaker. He was previously in an ethical, non monogamous relationship, and you have never been interested in one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is a deal breaker. If you guys are not on the same page, he's not going to change his thought process. One of you is hoping the other one will slide into the other's realm, and that's probably not going to happen. This is an absolute deal breaker.

[Jared Freid]

I'm with you. It's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, are you monogamous?

[Jared Freid]

I'm monogamous. That's what I'm looking for. I will say that, you know, the. The problem this person has is they're talking about two different things. She's talking about destination, and he's talking about journey.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, he's talking about, well, you know, not right now, but on our way. I guess I could be monogamous while we are hooking up. And it's like she's talking about, I'm on a. She's on a dating app and she wrote she's looking for a monogamy. Which I think they're using the same words to mean different things.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also, he's 36. He's locked in. Right?

[Jared Freid]

He's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's pretty much the person he's going to be that.

[Jared Freid]

He, he has a lifestyle he likes to lead.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And here's the thing. He's already let you know that he's going to end it with you. He's saying, for now I'm good, for now I can just be with you. But, but that's not saying. I'm looking for a long term relationship where I could see myself getting married and having children.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like she's waiting to find the girl who wants to have that, you know, that threesome that, that, that, that group getaway.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And until then he'll hang with you. You know, he'll drop the loads here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jared Freid]

You know, to go, to go back to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exactly.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. So it's a deal breaker for just because of the languaging, like it's all loads.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The gate term say loads.

[Jared Freid]

I think loads has been. And again, not to blame women, but I'm going to blame women. I don't think I can say loads to a woman and still be a dude.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Could you say like I'm going to give you this load?

[Jared Freid]

I think I'd have to really make sure. I'd have to have her sign out a questionnaire.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Got it.

[Jared Freid]

What words? Like if you can't say moist, what words can we say?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I got to say when having sex with guys, you don't even need to have a conversation about saying loads. Middle mid sec. Mid quarter is gonna be like here comes the load. And they'll, you know, I mean this

[Jared Freid]

is with gay men.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

I, I would say it differently. Like the way I would have fun with it. If I could say load the way you said it was not how it. I would go. Here comes the load.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would have been grunting and stuff like reading.

[Jared Freid]

I would do it like a train conductor.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Woo woo.

[Jared Freid]

Here comes the load.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I had a friend who used to say to his boyfriend, which I think is crazy to say, he'd always go, is your butt hungry?

[Jared Freid]

That's. No, no, no. That's enough. That's enough. This is a family show. Bob the Drag Queen. I. Is your butthole hungry?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is your butt hungry? Is your butt hung your butt hungry?

[Jared Freid]

It makes me think of a butt in a different way. Like you know what's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Welcome to the club.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, welcome. Weird Monsters. Was that Nickelodeon show Real Monsters. Real Monsters. Didn't they have a monster that looked like a butthole that would be eating kind of.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I mean, ickis. Obelina had like a mouth that could have been a butthole. Yes.

[Jared Freid]

That makes me think of ob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, Oblina could have been.

[Jared Freid]

All right, put that on the screen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Here's another red flag. You ready?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hi, jmb. Red flag or deal breaker? A few months ago, I was in the early days of dating a guy and things were going well up to that point. The conversation was good. He planned great dates and he was thoughtful and fun to be around. On our third date, we got on the topic of personal style and how to decorate our homes. I told him I'm pretty modern, clean style. He said he has a more quirky and unique, unique style. He's really, he really likes unusual decor, antiques, not my vibe. But I didn't overthink it until he told me that one of his prized possession was a mannequin he keeps. In the front entry of his house is a mannequin of a woman dressed in a dress holding a tray with a fake cocktail on it. I fact checked this later by going to his Instagram and sure enough, one of his posts was the mannequin. So. So red flag or deal breaker? He has a mannequin in his house signed just plastic or problematic. I'm gonna go ahead and say this is a deal breaker, but okay. I was dating this guy once and when we got together, I'm actually, I have very little, very few thoughts about home decor.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've let almost everyone I live with decorate our house. Almost everyone I've ever lived with. Roommates, partners. No matter what. I'm like, you can just do whatever you want and I'll even help pay for it because I don't have them. Anything thoughts. Except this one guy was dating. He had tapestries on his wall, like unframed. I was like, this is not a. Like, I'm not. This is. I'm in my 30s. This is not a college dorm.

[Jared Freid]

So he was like a UVM sophomore.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean it, it felt like that. Except he was a grown ass adult.

[Jared Freid]

Right? He loves, you know, Dead and Company.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I was like, do we need this? It was, it was even more like he, he like, he liked really like, like crazy niche music. The most popular band on his wall was Tegan and Sarah.

[Jared Freid]

He had a band on the wall. Like, I mean, I guess some of this stuff could be put into a room that is his music room.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A giant, I mean, massive tapestry. Massive.

[Jared Freid]

A Tegan and Sarah tapestry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, Tegan and Sarah poster.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A tapestry. This other artist, I can't remember his name. So then I, I would be like, you know, I really would like to have. Have. If it's on the wall, I would really like it. To have it being a frame.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I just think that we're adults and I was in my early 30s, he was in his 20s. I was like, I just would really like to be able to just have frame.

[Jared Freid]

Do you think if you love that guy, you could have made it work? There would be like a section of the house that, I mean, that treatment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If he really wanted, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have cared. But because he let me, I was like, do you mind if I frame them? Like, I'll do it.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then he went out of town. I framed all the pictures. He came back. He actually really loved them. He really. They looked much nicer. It was very expensive. And I was to spend your money, so like, what do I care? So I just framed all these pictures. We took them to like a professional frame where I didn't just, you know, Amazon got them professionally framed. And he was like, I really like these. These do look a lot better. I don't have a lot of thoughts, but I don't want a mannequin holding a tray at the front door.

[Jared Freid]

Right. This is like, well, this is. I'm with you. Where I could be with someone and they're the, they can decorate the home. Like, that's not going to be something I'm going to care about. But the mannequin at the front, now you're, you're getting into a territory where comfort isn't on their mind. I need them to like, acknowledge people's comfort.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And if I'm gonna be going like leaving bed in the middle of the night to get a snack and I'm

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like, you know that will scare you.

[Jared Freid]

That would scare me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My mom used to have a, one of the window panes in her. There was a window in the shower that you could see outside of, but there was a two pane window. The top one was glass and the bottom one was a mirror. Mirror. It was a mirror. And the amount of times I'd be in the shower and turn, there was a man looking me in the eyes through. It's me, obviously.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But there's a man peeking through the mirror. A naked man.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And the way it would jump, stop my heart every single time. That mannequin will get you.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Until that mannequin.

[Jared Freid]

It doesn't matter how long you've known that mannequin. That mannequin will scare the living crap

[Bob the Drag Queen]

out of you every single time. And, and, and, and then it's gonna start moving slightly.

[Jared Freid]

Well, do I. I would say mannequin has to go to like not like non foot trafficked places in the house.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can we move the mannequin?

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did it have to be greeting people at the front door?

[Jared Freid]

That's, I mean, but this is their personality too. Like if you're the person that puts a mannequin in the front fully dressed, holding a glass, like, I don't think you've gotten to know this person enough.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that says a lot about who you are. And I gotta say, I like quirky people, but I don't think I could date someone that quirky. No, like if you're like, I used to date a guy who, I used to date a guy who would wear his teeth. Wear his teeth as jewelry.

[Jared Freid]

And so like around a necklace, like

[Bob the Drag Queen]

he would take the tooth and then he would like drill it and then like make it into an earring and then he would like take the other tooth. Like wisdom teeth. He would like take them and then he would like make a necklace out of it. And it was kind of quirky. And then I, but it, it told me so much about him.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It told me everything about him and,

[Jared Freid]

well, that he needs a dentist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, he had one. Apparently the teeth were all removed. But it told me so much about

[Jared Freid]

him that I stop eating candy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I fully, I fully ignored it. I, I just ignored it.

[Jared Freid]

You never brought it up?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I, I brought it up. I even took the, one of the necklaces. I, I, he gave me a necklace and I was like, like, how to.

[Jared Freid]

It's, it's a lot like you're dealing. There's going to be sorcery.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I should have taken the red flag for what it was. I will, to be clear. I will, baby, when I tell you, I will ignore a red flag.

[Jared Freid]

Well, this is also the issue with, you know, we were talking earlier about the gay community being allowed to just like let it fly. Like, I guess that's a good thing. You wear your, you know, your tooth, you wear your molar on your sleeve, so to speak.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So you know what you're getting into.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You could be with a guy, a straight guy who would put his molar on his brooch and you'd be like, but you would never know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And at first I was like, it's kind of quirky. And it was kind of quirky. But then I was like, it's also indicative of like other things that I should have been paying attention to. What is the 21st, the worst day of the year?

[Jared Freid]

It's my birthday.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who said the worst day of the year that year? Someone else did this.

[Jared Freid]

It did it to me. It was not by my design. Oh, I'm not that self deprecated. I believe in myself a little bit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's bullying you here?

[Jared Freid]

So my co host, Jordana Abraham, who started this company.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The one with all the babies.

[Jared Freid]

The one with all the babies that she stole.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Now she came on the podcast years ago and was like, we were like, this comes out on February 21st. And she's like, isn't that like the worst day of the year? Nothing to look forward to, nothing going on. It's cold, it's freezing. And I was like, that's actually my birthday. And she had no idea that she was talking about my birthday. So now it's become a long running thing that my birthday is the. And I do kind of agree with the sentiment. Like what is there? February 21st, there's not a lot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, 41 years ago something great happened, I reckon.

[Jared Freid]

What's that? Oh, capture my heart. Bob the Drag Queen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This guy.

[Jared Freid]

I have a feeling this is going to be one of our all time episodes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You think so?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I think you did a great job. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That means a lot to me.

[Jared Freid]

I want everyone to go follow Bob the Drag Queen. We have solved dating again. Everyone go to Moulin Rouge the Musical. It is gonna be going through July, but Bob the Drag Queen is there until March 22nd.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can get [e-mail] that's S E the Drag Queen.

[Jared Freid]

And that's also for your standup shows.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, for my standup shows. Anytime you want to see me live, you go to seethedradqueen.com and you can also get my New York Times bestselling book, Harriet Tubman Live in Concert at any bookstore near you. Or you can go to readthedragqueen.com if.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, here's what I wanna ask ask you. For anyone that's written a book, what's your number one piece of advice? Cuz you're on the New York Times bestseller list. If you look behind you, there's a book that's coming out soon. My book.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh my God.

[Jared Freid]

Walking Red Flag that is coming out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Has anyone read any of this out loud yet?

[Jared Freid]

Not out loud. Not out loud. We have. You can read a little. You want to read a little something?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not going to read too much.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. But I don't know, I'm. I'm nervous. I've never even read it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Obviously, of course they do.

[Jared Freid]

There it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You got a little piece now, out of context. That doesn't make sense.

[Jared Freid]

No, but it's perfect if you're trying to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You mean now that the book, now the book is written or advice for writing the book?

[Jared Freid]

No, I, my advice for writing a book, don't do it. It's a pain in the ass.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will say, writing a book, you, you just gotta sit down and write. When I tell you I missed so many deadlines, like, I don't.

[Jared Freid]

They stress you out. It makes you think of your life and you're like, why am I this way? A. It is such a horrific review of how you work and what you're not good at. Like, I was never a homework guy. I'm sure you're a comedian.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was not in the home.

[Jared Freid]

You're not a homework guy? No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm embarrassed to tell you how many deadlines I miss and how long. Actually, if I tell you, I don't want to tell you how long it took me to write my book. It's been documented out there, but it took me a really long time. Okay. And the book is not that long. I got, my book is like, did

[Jared Freid]

you hire a Ghost Rider writer?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I did.

[Jared Freid]

I, I wrote it. I, I, I said, there's no, I gotta go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have an editor and I had someone to help me, but I wrote

[Jared Freid]

the editor helps a lot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I had an editor and I had someone help me write my book. Like, I, I, I, I wrote my whole book out and I was like, I need help. Cuz I had never written, but I was like, now help me structure it. But I wrote my, I wrote my book. I miss so many deadlines.

[Jared Freid]

I'm not going to judge that because I, I went the other route. I said, let's do a Ghost Rider.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Took me four years.

[Jared Freid]

Four years. And I'm sure it hung over you and made you feel like there were

[Bob the Drag Queen]

three different president presidencies. It was at the end of Trump's term, all of Biden's term, beginning of Trump's term.

[Jared Freid]

Well, you did make the New York Times bestseller, which I, I said to my dad, I was talking to him about the book and I go, you know, we could maybe make the New York Times. And he went and he almost choked. My dad almost died.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He really believes in you when he

[Jared Freid]

heard that I, even at the mention of me being on the New York Times bestseller is he literally almost died at the table.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now I have to make just to spite him.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you guys want to help spite Jared's dad.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you. Buy the book pre order right now Bob the Drag Queen Go see Bob the Drag Queen.com Mulan Rouge the Musical I'm Jared Freed. We're here every Wednesday and Friday. Share Share Share Tell a Friend Comment with what you liked, loved, hated during this show. We read a book mall back next week.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Boom.

[Jared Freid]

Thanks again to Sonic for sponsoring this episode. Remember, if it's not showing up hot, not giving you what you want, and costing way too much, you're allowed to walk away. And when you're ready, Sonic's new All American Smashers are here for you. Hot off the grill, they're premium hand smashed with Angus beef, made to order and loaded with classic ingredients like lettuce, tomato and melty American cheese. All at a price that actually makes sense.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sense?

[Jared Freid]

Break up with your burger and try the Sonic six dollar All American Smasher Meal instead.