Barnes Sent Proof!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Unhinged & Immoral – Episode: "Barnes Sent Proof!"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Unhinged & Immoral
• Hosts: Jamila Bell and Mecca Evans
• Production: Diamond MPrint Productions
• Release Date: June 26, 2025
• Description: Delving into the most outrageous corners of internet gossip and pop culture, Jamila and Mecca offer unfiltered insights, dissecting celebrity scandals, viral trends, and personal dramas with humor and PR expertise. New episodes drop every Thursday.

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1. Introduction and Love Island Discussion (00:00 – 05:49)

Jamila Bell opens the episode with a vibrant energy, comparing herself to Naomi on the catwalk and setting the tone for the lively conversation ahead. The hosts dive into a comprehensive discussion about the latest happenings on Love Island, noting its widespread appeal and the unpredictable nature of the show as it approaches the "Casa More" phase.

• Jamila (00:52): Highlights the recent eviction of Jeremiah and Hannah, expressing uncertainty about the show's direction.
• Mecca (01:12): Shares her skepticism about a contestant named Ace winning, predicting he will remain for a while but doubts his chances of securing the grand prize.
• Jamila (01:44): Mentions Ace as one of her clients, expressing disappointment in his actions and the challenges of managing client relationships.

The conversation underscores the tension between supporting and critiquing contestants, emphasizing the complexity of relationships formed under reality TV pressures.

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2. PR Segment: Handling Client Controversies (05:49 – 12:33)

The hosts transition to discussing a PR scenario involving Caresha, who sent them her "Risha Roulette Drinking Game Reloaded." They humorously interact with the game's components, demonstrating the playful yet chaotic nature of such promotional materials.

• Jamila (05:55): Describes the intricate elements of the drinking game, including shot glasses and a spinner, highlighting its departure from the original version.
• Mecca (07:07): Engages with the game, drawing parallels to "spin the bottle" and "truth or dare," showcasing their ability to bring humor to promotional content.

This segment illustrates their knack for blending personal anecdotes with professional insights, making PR discussions entertaining for their audience.

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3. Spin It Segment: Listener's Personal Drama (37:27 – 55:17)

Spin It is a recurring segment where Jamila and Mecca offer PR advice on listeners' personal situations. In this episode, they address a complex and emotional scenario submitted by a listener dealing with a recent breakup and a subsequent unsatisfying encounter.

Listener's Situation:

• Background: Recently broke up from a two-year relationship due to emotional distance and the listener's decision to terminate an unexpected pregnancy.
• Incident: Despite abstaining from relationships post-breakup, the listener gave in to peer pressure, resulting in a negative sexual experience that left her feeling inadequate and distressed.

Hosts' Analysis and Advice:

• Jamila (40:28): Emphasizes the importance of closing the chapter on past relationships, especially when they ended on manipulative terms. She advises the listener to reflect on her reasons for abstaining and to ensure her actions are intentional rather than seeking external validation.

• Mecca (41:18): Agrees with Jamila's assessment, highlighting the unfairness of blaming oneself for another's inability to satisfy emotionally or physically. She encourages non-attachment and self-worth, suggesting that the listener should not feel guilty for a one-night stand that did not meet her expectations.

• Jamila (44:12): Points out that the listener's tendency to see every romantic interest as a potential long-term partner may stem from insecurity. She recommends developing self-confidence and setting boundaries to prevent similar negative experiences.

• Mecca (53:16): Shares her own experience with abstinence and the importance of self-reflection in understanding one's needs and boundaries in relationships. She stresses that abstinence alone does not solve underlying issues and must be coupled with personal growth and self-awareness.

Key Takeaways:

• Self-Reflection: Understanding personal motivations behind relationship choices.
• Setting Boundaries: Recognizing and enforcing personal limits to prevent negative encounters.
• Building Self-Worth: Developing confidence to make empowered decisions in dating and relationships.

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4. Theodore’s “Proof” and Hosts' Raw Reactions (12:33 – 17:11)

A notable moment in the episode involves a listener named Theodore who sent explicit photos as "proof." Jamila and Mecca provide their unfiltered reactions, blending humor with candid commentary.

• Jamila (15:03): Expresses shock and discomfort upon viewing Theodore's photos, questioning the appropriateness of unsolicited explicit images.
• Mecca (15:25): Criticizes Theodore's actions, emphasizing boundaries and the unacceptability of unsolicited explicit content.

The segment underscores the hosts' commitment to maintaining respectful and consensual interactions, even when addressing inappropriate behavior from listeners.

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5. Foreplay and Sexual Discipline Discussion (29:10 – 33:21)

The hosts engage in an in-depth discussion about the art of foreplay and the importance of building sexual tension before engaging in intimate acts.

• Mecca (29:10): Advocates for the significance of foreplay in enhancing sexual experiences, emphasizing the need for mutual enjoyment and emotional connection.
• Jamila (30:31): Explains that foreplay starts with initial interactions, such as eye contact and flirtation, and should be a gradual build-up rather than rushed physicality.

Key Points:

• Building Tension: Creating a sense of anticipation enhances the overall intimate experience.
• Communication: Regular and meaningful conversations contribute to better emotional and physical connections.
• Consent and Comfort: Ensuring both parties are comfortable and ready enhances mutual satisfaction.

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6. Audience Interaction and Feedback (62:27 – 66:10)

Jamila and Mecca read and respond to listener comments from various platforms, including Spotify and YouTube.

• Positive Feedback: Listeners express appreciation for the hosts' relatable advice and entertaining dynamic.
• Constructive Criticism: Some comments encourage the hosts to continue their unique blend of humor and candidness.

Highlights:

• Engagement: The hosts value and acknowledge their audience's input, fostering a community atmosphere.
• Relatability: Listeners feel a personal connection with the hosts, finding their discussions both entertaining and insightful.

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7. Announcements and Closing Remarks (66:10 – End)

The episode concludes with exciting announcements and acknowledgments.

• ESSENCE Fest Invitation: Jamila and Mecca announce their participation in ESSENCE Fest, where they will speak on a panel scheduled for June 5th.

• Encouragement to Subscribe: The hosts remind listeners to engage with their content by commenting, liking, subscribing, and joining their Patreon for exclusive content.

Closing Remarks:

• Hosts' Chemistry: Jamila and Mecca end the episode on a high note, showcasing their strong friendship and professional partnership.
• Future Content: Teasers about upcoming episodes and special segments keep the audience engaged and excited for more.

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Notable Quotes:

• Jamila: "If you’re a relationship ass bitch, you get about a relationship and you find yourself within two months locked in with a whole another [expletive]." (54:03)
• Mecca: "You're struggling with self-worth, you should be trying to satisfy me... because you're struggling with self-worth." (47:10)
• Jamila: "You need to have confidence, because if you have confidence and you're not basing your interactions off of insecurity, then you will have more self-worth." (47:40)

Note: Offensive language used by hosts has been adjusted to maintain professionalism and adhere to respectful communication standards.

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Conclusion: In this episode of Unhinged & Immoral, Jamila Bell and Mecca Evans offer a blend of humor, candid discussions, and professional insights into personal and pop culture topics. From dissecting the latest developments in Love Island to providing heartfelt advice in the Spin It segment, the hosts engage their audience with authenticity and relatability. Their ability to navigate sensitive topics while maintaining an entertaining dialogue underscores their expertise and the unique appeal of their podcast.

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This summary aims to encapsulate all key points, discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode "Barnes Sent Proof!" while ensuring clarity and accessibility for those who have not listened to the podcast.

Transcript

[Jameela Bell]

Going in that cash hall. Walk in the booth like Naomi on the catwalk and tell them, woo, woo from the Jaguar. It ain't even right, though. Push me and I might go, she ain't getting money. I'm like, what the. A hype for when the bitches bite Flow make my appetite go poof. Gone. Voila. Magic. Looking mad good just to pull up on them. Ramping. Welcome back to another amazing episode of Unhinged and Immoral. I, Jameela Mecca. Well, well, well, Islanders. Actually, it's interesting because by this time on Thursday, anything could have happened. So I don't even know what to think. But, you know, Love island has, like, captivated everybody. At this point, I feel like I truly don't know anyone who isn't watching or at least watching adjacently. And I think that that's pretty fun. Like, that's. That's cool.

[Mecca]

I love when we're all doing things as a collective, because for reference, it's Monday, you guys. Yesterday, they just sent Jeremiah and Hannah home. And tomorrow and tonight actually starts Casa More. So it's like, again, by the time you hear this, anything could have happened.

[Jameela Bell]

So many couples could have been destroyed or strengthened. We don't know.

[Mecca]

Yeah. Ace is not getting that 100k on my watch. And if Shelly is caught in that crossfire, then I'm sorry, bestie.

[Jameela Bell]

Unfortunately, I think that everyone hates Ace so bad that I doubt he's gonna win, But I do think he's gonna stay for a while. I think he's.

[Mecca]

He's definitely gonna be top three. I. I can for sure see him and Shelly making it to the end. I just can't allow them to win for sure. Yeah. I'm glad that we're all agreeing on that.

[Jameela Bell]

I don't necessarily agree, but I understand it. You know what I'm saying? Um, I unfortunately do. I am a Ace.

[Mecca]

Eye roll. Heavy eye roll.

[Jameela Bell]

I don't even know how to describe it. I, I, I enjoy Ace on my screen. It's very interesting. I wouldn't say supporter, because I don't support all the things he does. So that's why I'm like, I wouldn't say I'm a supporter, but Ace is one of my clients. He is. And when you have clients, you understand that sometimes they don't listen to you, and sometimes they do things that are incorrect and you have to correct them. And that's just where we are. And I am very disappointed in him. He did piss me off. But also, all of my clients are on Pips. Right now, they are all in trouble. They've all pissed me clean the fuck off. So it's like we have to. We have to reboot and regroup and figure out what the fuck is going on before we continue. But, hey, it is what it is. I'm here for a good time with reality tv. I want to be entertained, and I think that that's what my clients are.

[Mecca]

You know what's interesting about Love Island? And this is, like, I'm saying this as an OG Love island watcher, I was so skeptical when they started the US Franchise, because I came in watching the UK and obviously with Serena and Cordell, like, they popped it off in America for sure. So now this season, everyone's watching. It's, like, obvious that if you didn't watch it last season, you're at least aware of it. Like, the people who are on the show are aware of it and the way that they're playing the game. Like, typically in seasons past, across franchises, by now, we at least have one hardcore couple locked in. Yeah, we. We had, like, the whole point of Casa is to shake up the solid. You know what I'm saying? It's to shake up the couples. And kind of watching this season then be like, oh, we're exploring. We're exploring all the way up until Cassa. It's like, that's. Y' all are so. No. And. And they. Y' all are close to the sun. And they hated Jeremiah for it, but, like, he was the only one who, like, put it. I will say I don't like how fast they locked in, but there's always a couple who does that on every season, and it's like, sometimes they make it, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they, like. It was to be expected. Now, I've seen a crash out like Huda's on uk, but, like, it's just.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah. I fear the issue I had with Hood and Jeremiah was not necessarily them locking in too early. Like, that was a part of. That was an eye roll, but it was like, whatever. It was the way in which they were arguing and being locked in. Like, n. Y' all. Y' all don't have to be together. Like, that was the part that was so confused to me. I'm like, why the fuck are y' all having disagreements and y' all are not seeing eye to eye, but then acting like y' all are forced to be with each other? Like, y' all literally, like. You know what I'm saying? That was the part that I think really frustrated everybody because it's like, I mean, Kayla and Aaron locked in really early. And we rolled our eyes to them too. Like, y' all were locked in so early, but it wasn't as toxic in the beginning. And Taylor, I mean, not Taylor. Kayla also wasn't a bitch to the other girls. Sorry.

[Mecca]

And I think that's where everyone was getting lost with the Hood of Jeremiah situation is the way that she. That she was acting. And that's why, to be honest, the fact that she's still there and Jeremiah isn't is funny because usually Hooda would've went home and Jeremiah would still be there. But I do fear. I see Aces and Nick's calculation. Jeremiah was not one of my clients, nor did I even have him on my radar to be. If he had been able to lock in with Audrina. He gets to be on my client list.

[Jameela Bell]

He was on my client. I actually started to enjoy Jeremiah.

[Mecca]

I was like, oh, I see what y' all did.

[Jameela Bell]

Which was crazy. Like, I was. I was starting to change my mind. I was starting to like, like getting to know him. And you know what I'm saying? I wanted to see where that connection was going to go. So I'm really upset that they did that. Like, just. Just let it breathe. But I'm also upset at the producers because I don't think yesterday was a time for people to go home. I think they should have if we were going to do that, just let them, the bottom three, be vulnerable and not be in a couple because Cassa was really going to shake it up anyway. So I just felt like, yeah. But anyways, if y' all want to keep hearing more of our thoughts, make sure y' all tap into our Patreon. We are doing our own Unhinged after sun on the Patreon and we'll be doing another one on Wednesday. So by the time you watch this, you'll have already two episodes that you can watch. And we'll be doing it seldomly to make sure we can kind of catch up on some of the drama that's happening. Love Island. So if you guys are an islander like we are, make sure I subscribe to the Patreon.

[Mecca]

Ace doesn't get the 100,000 in my villa. I'll be satisfied.

[Jameela Bell]

So we actually got some PR from none other than Caresha and she sent us her Risha roulette drinking game Reloaded. And if you know, you know this game is insane. I have actually played her original game before and, well, girl, I did decide to take the shot versus doing whatever the fuck else you was telling me to do, sister? I said, I'm not licking that girl coochie next to me.

[Mecca]

Can I tell you, I've been at a party where this game, I sat and watched it ruin a relationship. This is a true story. Oh, God.

[Jameela Bell]

Not Risha Roulette. Breaking up marriages. Yeah. Family homes. So this is the box it comes with. This is really cute. It comes with four drinking, not drinking, four shot glasses.

[Mecca]

Oh, that's fun.

[Jameela Bell]

Let me show y' all the shot.

[Mecca]

She actually provided the shot glasses.

[Jameela Bell]

It just says Risha Roulette on it.

[Mecca]

Oh, I love that.

[Jameela Bell]

And then it comes with some money. Ooh, girl, not. Not Monopoly with the Risha. And then it has a spinner. So this is definitely different than the first one because the first one was literally just the cards, like troop and air type shit.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela Bell]

So this one has a spinner and it has wild card. Take a shot. Dare or pay your pick. Take a shot. Oh, yeah, same thing. And so this is, I think, the actual game.

[Mecca]

Okay, let's see.

[Jameela Bell]

So they're separated by different colors.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jameela Bell]

So some. The get wilds are striped. And then it's like dare play. So I think you just, like, separate the stacks based off the color in different levels and then do whatever it says. So let's play.

[Mecca]

Oh, it's like spin the bottle. Whereas the first one was like truth or dare. Oh, that's fun. I like that. Caresha.

[Jameela Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

Period.

[Jameela Bell]

Yes. Okay, so I'm gonna spend for you. Mecca.

[Mecca]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jameela Bell]

You got dare or play. So I'm gonna get. I'm gonna grab a card for you or pay. So I think that's where the money comes in.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jameela Bell]

So you can either do the dare or pay. Kind of like Monopoly.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jameela Bell]

Pay up, ho. But if y' all wanna really get into it, y' all can use real money too. No shade. That's just my thought.

[Mecca]

Oh, yeah. Well, you.

[Jameela Bell]

You.

[Mecca]

You do that with who like to gamble. Hit the parlay.

[Jameela Bell]

All right, so I got dare or pay as well. Let's see what my card says. Show a picture of the last person you sneaky linked with or pay each player $2.

[Mecca]

Jameela would be broke, you guys. She's not going to show you a picture.

[Jameela Bell]

There's your $2, babes.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela Bell]

Okay, y' all know I don't talk about what I got going on.

[Mecca]

That's good and messy.

[Jameela Bell]

But if we were. If we were playing, if we were playing in, like, a room full of friends, I totally would. It's not that deep. Okay, that was cute. Do you want to do another one?

[Mecca]

I'm feel. I fear I'm just going to say no, but I do. I am interested to hear the question. So, yeah, okay.

[Jameela Bell]

This one is a wild card. So maybe this will be, you know, something super fun. This is funny. Okay, demonstrate in 20 seconds how you give yourself a whole bath. Record and tag caresha, please. Ready?

[Mecca]

Well, we wait, listen, because my mama and them are Christian, we don't call it hope ass. We call it sign of the cross. Ready? My mom never called it.

[Jameela Bell]

Make sure you.

[Mecca]

She never called it a whole bath. It was always a sign of the cross because, you know, devil eggs, angel eggs. You know, Christians can't say nothing crazy. Okay, ready? You gotta wash your face, go down to your coochie. Underarm, underarm. That's the cross.

[Jameela Bell]

You ain't washing your ass in it.

[Mecca]

You. You got to include you. The coochie in the butt is the same. It' included in the down. It's the down. When you hit down, you everything on the backside, too. But it's the sign of the cross, basically.

[Jameela Bell]

You know, you got to hit the hot spot.

[Mecca]

But, you know, we wasn't calling it no ho bath. It was a sign that you can do the sign, the cross right quick.

[Jameela Bell]

You know, some of the other girls used to call it bird bath, you know, when they were trying to be cute.

[Mecca]

Oh, I ain't never heard that. I didn't even know called it.

[Jameela Bell]

You never heard of a bird bath?

[Mecca]

No, I didn't know people called it a ho bath till I went to college because, you know, oh, yeah, I also got my first kiss and stuff in college, so that makes sense, you know?

[Jameela Bell]

And I hate when people pretend like they've never had to take a whole.

[Mecca]

Bath, but it's just because they don't want to call it. They don't want to call it a whole bath. That's why I feel like.

[Jameela Bell]

No, Some people genuinely feel like, oh, nah, I just.

[Mecca]

I don't do that clean Olympics, girl.

[Jameela Bell]

You just took a whole bath before.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I don't like the clean Olympics. That's irritating because I'm a clean individual.

[Jameela Bell]

The clean Olympics stress me out so bad because y' all are liars.

[Mecca]

Like, y' all don't.

[Jameela Bell]

You don't have five washcloths in your. In your fucking shower right now. You don't.

[Mecca]

All you really need is a loofah or one of them African nets. You know what I'm talking about? Which is like a loofah. And Something to get the desk in or an old school. You got to get the. The. The cloth from Walmart that gets cheap rags. You know what I'm saying? Them cheap rags, they get nice and rough.

[Jameela Bell]

Them cheap rags because they rough something.

[Mecca]

That'S going to expose.

[Jameela Bell]

I hate the really thick.

[Mecca]

Oh, I hate them. A thick washcloth pisses me off.

[Jameela Bell]

Also, the soap stays into it much too.

[Mecca]

I have only not. Not.

[Jameela Bell]

But yeah, good old cheap washcloth.

[Mecca]

Let me tell you something. You know how you said the sign of black people having money? Oh, with the chains on TikTok. Here's a sign of black people having money.

[Jameela Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

Because black people use the cheap washcloths. We know what they're for. Black people will have the thick washcloths as their display to. As a sign of, like, wealth. But then they will give you. When you actually get in the shower, they're going to give you a cheap washcloth because they know what you really want. Because they know what you really want. But on. But all but sitting there in the towel stack, they're going to have the thick ones just. Just so they could have them to show that they could get them. It's a culture I have never seen. All the thick washcloths in black households are always for display. They're never getting used. Possibly maybe as a hand towel, but. But we don't use those to wash our bodies.

[Jameela Bell]

For sure. For sure.

[Mecca]

For sure. Well, I wanted you to do one more, but I want to get into this update even more so. I'll allow that.

[Jameela Bell]

Oh, I had already put it up crying.

[Mecca]

Okay. Just watched me take a hoe bath and kept it pushing.

[Jameela Bell]

That's all, folks. So we actually have an update from a Spin it. It was from Theodore. Guys. Big, thick. Big thick Dick. Theodore has sent us an update. We have not opened it. We are going to give you guys our raw reactions.

[Mecca]

Now tell them why we're giving them our raw reactions. Because Melissa opened it, apparently.

[Jameela Bell]

Allegedly, Theodore sent us pictures.

[Mecca]

And I was like, why did he send us pictures of his member is crazy. You were reading smut. I was wondering, like, why he sent it. And Jameela absolutely asked. When I went back and listened.

[Jameela Bell]

I did.

[Mecca]

Yep. You told him to provide proof.

[Jameela Bell]

Oh, now that makes me sound like just. I'm just. You weren't.

[Mecca]

Were you supposed to do it, Theodore? I don't know, but we're about to. We're about to look at your stuff.

[Jameela Bell]

We're gonna take a break.

[Mecca]

Hey, this is Chess from the Wandering Hearts.

[Jameela Bell]

And this is our house from our new album, Deja Vu, with We have all been here before.

[Mecca]

Our house is a very, very, very fine house. With two cats in the yard. Life used to be so hard.

[Jameela Bell]

It's all the classics, you know, including Teach youh Children.

[Mecca]

Teach your Children well, Their father's help. They slowly go by and carry on.

[Jameela Bell]

Be sure to check out Deja Vu.

[Mecca]

By the Wandering Hearts wherever you stream your music. And we're back.

[Jameela Bell]

Before we completely get into this, I just want to put a disclaimer out there. Since everybody's not. We don't want to see everybody's dick pics, right? This was. This was a jokey joke. Oh, Jamila's in she insert. Monique said. I would like to see it. Theodore sent it. Everyone was consenting adults over the age of 18, over the age of 25. But please do not send any unsolicited penises. Please, please.

[Mecca]

Yeah, Theodore is safe. Unfortunately, we.

[Jameela Bell]

I just. You know, I mean, big. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? This is for research purposes only, guys. I'm so scared.

[Mecca]

I'm so stressed.

[Jameela Bell]

Imagine me, a regular old Friday. Explain what you're getting into. Okay, I'm opening it. Ah. I'm gonna do it.

[Mecca]

God damn.

[Jameela Bell]

Is that a cock ring?

[Mecca]

How many inches is that?

[Jameela Bell]

He didn't get? You're nasty. He has a cock ring on. I'm sorry, but you including your face in this, you scare me to death. Can I be honest, though?

[Mecca]

Go ahead.

[Jameela Bell]

Not the biggest I've seen by far.

[Mecca]

I don't think he was saying he had the biggest. His name was Thick. I think he was talking about his name was Thick. Thick. Thick.

[Jameela Bell]

Thiccc.

[Mecca]

It was Thick.

[Jameela Bell]

I'll give you that.

[Mecca]

It was Thick.

[Jameela Bell]

It was Thick. I think I internalized and heard Big. Dick. Dick.

[Mecca]

Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick. The name was Thick.

[Jameela Bell]

Okay? Thick Dick Theater.

[Mecca]

Okay? It was thick. It was. It was girthy.

[Jameela Bell]

It was girthy. Yeah. Theodore, with that dick and that cock ring, you shouldn't be talking to anyone who's 21.

[Mecca]

Because if I saw a cock ring at 21, I probably would have screamed.

[Jameela Bell]

Do you know what I'm saying? There are certain. There are certain markers of freakness that you are supposed to get with age. A cock ring at 21 is just. You're not there yet. You know what I'm saying? I didn't see a cock ring in real life until I was at least.

[Mecca]

24 in real life. Remember when Jamila told us she was a Barbie? Who doesn't have sex. Anyway, let's read what Theodore had to say.

[Jameela Bell]

Do y' all want to talk about his face being in the picture too? Hey, so Theodore. Yeah.

[Mecca]

And he sent his face. That was crazy. And.

[Jameela Bell]

And can you send me your socials and your phone number too so I can block you? Are you crazy for sending your fucking face?

[Mecca]

The fuck it was. It was. Let me tell you why Theodore had me crying. It was the one very well thought out dick picture and the three face pictures. So like.

[Jameela Bell]

And the. The nice selfies.

[Mecca]

When I say selfies, y' all were so respectable. Like he was in a peak.

[Jameela Bell]

You never know. You would never know there was a female.

[Mecca]

There was a cock ring in them pants.

[Jameela Bell]

And it's just like you the type of nigga that walk around with that cock ring on, aren't you? Leave that 21 year old alone, please. Let's read this update though. Crazy ass. Greetings again Girl World. It's Barnes. Wow, you read me for filth. I should start by clarifying some things. Noble and I are long distance and everyone involved is black. Although Borders has 1/3 of Mexican and Arab. While the original spin it was sent in February, I do have updates for you coincidentally, right? Coincidentally. The night before the Spooky Kids episode aired, Borders and I had a talk about our situation. Noble and I still had. Noble and I still talk often, though not nearly in the same capacity that we used to due to our workloads. The conditions of our jobs and our lives move quite differently these days. There is still a great love there, but it's difficult to see where things are headed in the moment. All I know is that she is the one I want to end up with. It has also been about five or six months since Borders and I have been involved and the situation has grown. Has grown complex. She goes back and forth between her home and parents spending days. Sorry, I just be getting confused because she lives with her parents too, sir. You know. Goody way. You were supposed to be dating nigga. Anyways, she goes back and forth between my home and her parents, spending days at a time with me. And while we are not still official.

[Mecca]

Okay, hold on.

[Jameela Bell]

And while we are not official still we have agreed to be open. The conversation we had the night prior to this letter involved my prior intentions and settling down the relationship I have with Noble, how we felt, seeing each other with others and much more along the lines of moving in relationship with intent. Before I knew it, the transactional relationship began months ago, has become more romantic interest and I am slightly providing For I am unsure how this will end. But the last thing I want is for anyone to be hurt. I have had a long and horrible tendency to go with the flow when it comes to matters of the heart. And it's something that I intend to work on with Nobles at the beginning of this year. But you know, n. Never stick to the plan. You said that. And yes, yes, that was a quote.

[Mecca]

That was a direct quote.

[Jameela Bell]

And yes, the sex is spectacular. I have been known to give up to 10 to 14 orgasms in a night to a good number of partners, both clitoral and penetrative. I have included some pictures of myself upon Jamila's request. Thank you for hearing me out and for your stern advice.

[Mecca]

The letter with the pictures and the professional picture makes it so much better.

[Jameela Bell]

10 to 14.

[Mecca]

I would like to see it.

[Jameela Bell]

Now. Don't go making requests because he will fulfill.

[Mecca]

Oh shit. No, wait. Yeah. No, no, hold on.

[Jameela Bell]

I want you to stay far away from me.

[Mecca]

Serious fella. Let me, Let me not say that.

[Jameela Bell]

Let me make that clear. Mecca. How many? 10 to 14. You think you could have 10 to 14 orgasms in one day by a man, from a man, from a man?

[Mecca]

I don't know. I will say I am a multiple orgasm or type of lady. So getting. Getting multiple in one round is something I'm quite used to. But I'm saying what's the.

[Jameela Bell]

What is the highest number of orgasms you've had in one round of sex?

[Mecca]

I probably really just at like probably 10. But that was when I was in my deep freak nasty era. And I honestly didn't enjoy it. Cause it went on for like 45 minutes. We started in the shower. I was dehydrated, it was steamy. Then we were in the bed. It was so much going on. It was so like only a 22 year old could endure what I endured that night. And I was 22. So. Next question.

[Jameela Bell]

No, not next question.

[Mecca]

Follow up question.

[Jameela Bell]

In one round.

[Mecca]

Yeah, but I will say I. This is a lot of information, but I. I can orgasm from both clitoral and penetration.

[Jameela Bell]

Okay, so are. Do you have that condition where bitches just have orgasms while walking?

[Mecca]

Well, no, I do need. I need some. But I found out that like a. A lot of girls don't come from penetration.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah, most.

[Mecca]

But I. I do. So I'm saying like if you're wickle, wickle, wick. If you're DJing, that's like I'm finna go back to back. This is why you gotta start playing with yourself at 12. Shout out to Kev on stage. Cause, bitch, one thing about me. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna get mines.

[Jameela Bell]

As you should. I believe in equality when it comes to the bedroom. How dare you think that. This is for you and for you only, nigga. Are you kidding me? You better.

[Mecca]

It literally isn't. I hate when they're.

[Jameela Bell]

You better drop to your knees and bark like you want it. Like what?

[Mecca]

Yeah, I still haven't. That's a body I want to catch. Maybe someday.

[Jameela Bell]

Theodore.

[Mecca]

No. The other side of 1911. Shit. I don't want theater.

[Jameela Bell]

Bar.

[Mecca]

I'm scared.

[Jameela Bell]

Never had a cue before.

[Mecca]

I've never had a Q before. I've only had the other ones. Oh. But I want someone to drop to their knees and bark like they want it. Maybe it'll happen for me.

[Jameela Bell]

Jamil, you look like you got something to say.

[Mecca]

She has a lot to say. Matter of fact, she got a lot to say. I'm trying to segue her into saying it, but, you know, she be trying to act brand new, like, she too good.

[Jameela Bell]

I just don't really like exposing myself. But I have encountered a cue dog or two, so.

[Mecca]

Or two? Were they both good and.

[Jameela Bell]

Or.

[Mecca]

Could be either.

[Jameela Bell]

Or.

[Mecca]

Break the experience out of 10. The encounters.

[Jameela Bell]

When it comes to my Greek experiences, if I'm going by ranking, this would be the rank for my personal experience. Alpha.

[Mecca]

That's shocking.

[Jameela Bell]

Q.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jameela Bell]

Kappa. And the sigma is at the bottom of my goddamn toe.

[Mecca]

He didn't wiggle in a goddamn thing. Huh?

[Jameela Bell]

So that would be my personal rating off the top of the dome. Where's your scenitar? Oh, baby, they don't get nowhere near. I have no experience with that. I won't lie, though.

[Mecca]

I'm not gonna lie. I haven't been.

[Jameela Bell]

I don't know nothing about them diggers.

[Mecca]

I have not been intimate with a centaur. But the one that I did run down on was from Jersey. And them Jersey centaurs be fine.

[Jameela Bell]

Jersey are different.

[Mecca]

That's a different. Yes, they're different.

[Jameela Bell]

All them niggas be fine.

[Mecca]

I'm like, oh, whoa.

[Jameela Bell]

What the. It's a different. It's a different vibe.

[Mecca]

Maybe I do want some piss.

[Jameela Bell]

I don't know. That was a crazy sentence out of context. Mecca, like, I want you to know that. Like that it like, oh, golden shower.

[Mecca]

They.

[Jameela Bell]

Oh, please. Mecca, do you get peed on? No, you said that too confidently.

[Mecca]

Well, I know what a golden shower is. And the men's drink is called Centaur. Piss. Am I wrong?

[Jameela Bell]

And my question was, no, I don't get peed. If I could get peed on.

[Mecca]

No, I.

[Jameela Bell]

Would you let a pee on you?

[Mecca]

No, that's disgusting. Jamila. I'm too much of. I can't do bodily fluids.

[Jameela Bell]

Just seriously, the girls, the guys.

[Mecca]

Listen. Well, you won't catch me in Dubai. Some people are really freaky as frogs.

[Jameela Bell]

And it's just like, would you pee.

[Mecca]

Would you pee on somebody?

[Jameela Bell]

No, you.

[Mecca]

I don't want. I don't. I wouldn't want to do it either.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah, that doesn't feel like. Because for me, it. Like, what am I getting out of that? You know what I'm saying? Like. You know what I'm saying? Like, I. I want to understand the psyche of piss. And I. I never understood it.

[Mecca]

It's rooted in trauma. Some of the kinks are truly rooted in trauma. Some of the kinks have to be shamed and they have to be.

[Jameela Bell]

And I'm. And I'm an avid kink shamer.

[Mecca]

No funny shit. The defecation, the urine, and the baby play. Family ancestral play. Those are some kinks that I will shame in public and very loudly. I don't care.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah, I don't care. You're weird.

[Mecca]

You're weird.

[Jameela Bell]

You're. You're a little off. You're a little off.

[Mecca]

And I don't want to shake the table too much, but especially when it comes to the child play, you're doing it. And if you had the opportunity to do it with a real child, you would. You're sick.

[Jameela Bell]

You would.

[Mecca]

You need to go to jail, actually.

[Jameela Bell]

I wholeheartedly believe we'll die on that. Wholeheartedly. Yeah. I can't. I wouldn't do any of that, and I wouldn't want it done on me. That sounds like absolute torture. No, call me vanilla.

[Mecca]

I can't do on demand either. I have to be ready to poop.

[Jameela Bell]

So it's like. It's just so disgusting. Like, I'm not even the type of bitch to fart in front of a nigga, but you think I would shit on a nigga chest. Crazy.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna do on your chest.

[Jameela Bell]

That's crazy.

[Mecca]

I also. My boo boo. Don't be the same texture every. It's just. It's too much.

[Jameela Bell]

And that's where we're gonna stop the conversation.

[Mecca]

Cause I. I don't know what.

[Jameela Bell]

I would know too much about you.

[Mecca]

I don't know what I would be giving you. I don't know what would be what it would be.

[Jameela Bell]

I know way too much at this point. Yeah.

[Mecca]

After a late night of drinking so much tequila and a nigga like shit on my chest. Nope. Oh, my God.

[Jameela Bell]

I don't want to know anything else, so let's go ahead and wrap that up.

[Mecca]

You ate tacos and hella fucking hot sauce. It's like battery acid from all the liquor.

[Jameela Bell]

Like, I'm begging you. I'm begging you to free me from this conversation.

[Mecca]

Okay, well, you started it.

[Jameela Bell]

Did I? I never said anything about texture, bitch.

[Mecca]

Well, it started at me saying the centaur piss or you saying the piss.

[Jameela Bell]

And I just wanted to know if you would, you know, like, caresha. You know, speaking of caresha, Please. She did say she liked to get pissed on.

[Mecca]

That is a direct quote.

[Jameela Bell]

That is a direct quote.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela Bell]

So not like it was appropriate to ask. I don't know.

[Mecca]

Well, I would not want to be pissed on, nor would I want to piss.

[Jameela Bell]

Understandable. But I. I will say I know it's warm. At least it's warm.

[Mecca]

That's supposed to make it better?

[Jameela Bell]

I just imagine, like, cold piss, you know, I'm saying, like, imagine, like, you're getting pissed on and it's cold. That doesn't seem comfortable. But at least since it's a warm liquid, you know, we're going to take a break. And we're back.

[Mecca]

You seem like you would like that warm wax poured on you.

[Jameela Bell]

Hmm. You know, there's wax that turns into massage oil. I wouldn't mind that.

[Mecca]

I see it on TikTok.

[Jameela Bell]

I wouldn't mind that at all.

[Mecca]

I've considered getting it.

[Jameela Bell]

It seems very sensual, and I'm. I'm a sensual lady, so.

[Mecca]

Yeah, no, I. You think that you would want something warm, just not urine.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah. Like.

[Mecca]

Yeah. And it smells good. And it's a candle. Yeah.

[Jameela Bell]

That's not. That's fun. You see? It smells good.

[Mecca]

Yeah, It's a candle.

[Jameela Bell]

You know what I'm saying?

[Mecca]

You can rub it in.

[Jameela Bell]

Now we're talking.

[Mecca]

But when you have big hands massaging your back, everything's warm, revved up. We got to get back to foreplay, people. I know, I know. We go onto this rant like, once a quarter, but it's important. It's important. We need to remind the fellas and the women that foreplay is important. Like, all of this just trying to stick it in as sandpaper. I feel nothing. And in fact, what I feel hurts.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah. And the thing is foreplay, There is an art to foreplay. You Know, foreplay does not start in the bedroom. It starts with the eyes on the date, starts with a flirtation. It starts from the telephone before I.

[Mecca]

Feel like have lost the art of building up the tension. Because the tension.

[Jameela Bell]

I wanted.

[Mecca]

The tension is just as important as the foreplay, because the tension, like, you have to. And that's the one thing that I feel like people don't get. It's like, no, you kind of have to interact. You know how people will be like, oh, don't fuck on the first night. Obviously, Love island is not a good example. Exactly. Because they're in such conditions to make everything go faster. But part of the reason they're going so fast is because they don't have anything to do all day. And the tension is doing nothing but building, like, the sexual tension. And then the attraction.

[Jameela Bell]

Exacerbated.

[Mecca]

It's exacerbated. But, like, that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to sit there and be like, oh, my God, I'm warm on the inside. Just being around you. So that when. So that when you get in the business, it's like, let's devour each other.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah, let's do this.

[Mecca]

Yeah. Like, I want to be feigning. Like, I personally have, like, elongated. Do you get. I'm saying, like, elongated situations with niggas. Like, maybe. I know I'm going to go on it. It's definitely giving. Oh, we're about to fucking. But I want to go on another date, another two, or maybe let's hang out one more time. Because I really want the tension to be ripe. I want it to be palatable.

[Jameela Bell]

I wanted you to feel it almost to the point where it's unbearable.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jameela Bell]

Because you're just. You're thumping the whole day.

[Mecca]

You get what I'm saying? I walk through the door, I'm thumping.

[Jameela Bell]

Like, yeah, thump, thump, thump.

[Mecca]

Ugh. It's so satisfying once you get there. Nobody wants to work anymore.

[Jameela Bell]

Nobody.

[Mecca]

Nobody wants to work anymore.

[Jameela Bell]

Who wants to work anymore? And it saddens me because, you know, unfortunately, the young people are just jackrabbits.

[Mecca]

I mean, we all were at that age. I definitely feel like an appreciation for the sensual side of things comes with, you know, just experience. You have to kind of be in the field. But once you get there, what's concerning is when you meet someone who's like, 29 and just a jackrabbit, it's like, oh, well, I don't want to talk to you. I'm down, you're pressed, you've never got.

[Jameela Bell]

Pussy shouldn't be, like, the most exciting.

[Mecca]

Thing to you in the world. Yeah. Like, we're.

[Jameela Bell]

Then you're too pressed for it. And then just like, you. You feel like you can't do anything without it. Like, you should not be that freaked out. Yeah, because I'm starting to be concerned about, like, your mental health. You ever start talking to a boy and they're, like, overly sexual and it.

[Mecca]

Just turns you off instantly.

[Jameela Bell]

It's like, hey, I literally said, how was your day? And you said, love that pussy.

[Mecca]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Or. Or the dreaded, what are you doing? About to get in the shower without me? Ew.

[Jameela Bell]

It's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Like, I. I do like to actually have regular conversations because little do a lot of men realize having regular conversation also builds up, like, sexual tension.

[Mecca]

It does.

[Jameela Bell]

It's just like, wow, you're. You're cool.

[Mecca]

You're so nice.

[Jameela Bell]

You're funny. You're. You're nice. You're funny.

[Mecca]

You like all the things I like.

[Jameela Bell]

Ooh. So then when we can have a sexual conversation, it's even more interesting versus, you know what I'm saying? We're literally just having a normal conversation and you dropping, you know, dick thoughts.

[Mecca]

Like, like, no, no, Tino. Shit. I don't know what to do. You think that thick dick Theodore is telling all the bitches about his ring for his combo?

[Jameela Bell]

He sent it to us upon request with his face in it. So maybe he sends plenty of dick pictures. He is a dick monster, and he's probably freaked out, you know what I'm saying? He leads with dick first, and then he'll be cool later, you know what I'm saying? He's the type of. And I know exactly what type of nigga. The fact that the ones that lead.

[Mecca]

With the dick and then they turn out to be okay.

[Jameela Bell]

He is the type of freak that is a nerd. He's a nerd freak. I know this man. Yes.

[Mecca]

Oh, my first boyfriend was a nerd freak. And we definitely fucked on the first.

[Jameela Bell]

Night because it's like, why? Like, whoa, you're really freaked out. And then it's like, oh, you're just a nerd. What the fuck?

[Mecca]

Yeah, and then it just confuses you.

[Jameela Bell]

And then that allows you to stick a long. Stick around a little bit longer than you should, when really he's just a sexual deviant. Because you sent us a cock ring picture with your face in it smiley.

[Mecca]

It wasn't even the picture for me. Was the Picture in the peacoat. Like the professional. Like the professional selfie.

[Jameela Bell]

You sent us a picture with dick and balls. Like, I'm so scared and let's get to balls.

[Mecca]

I don't care. I said this on one of the first episodes of the podcast. I don't care. What no one says saggy balls are, although not as aesthetically pleasing in the bedroom. They be knocking at your clit like. Like a door knocker, and it literally feels so good. I'm not lying. It's true.

[Jameela Bell]

You just wanted to get that off. Like, she misses us. She misses a certain saggy ball so bad, she just had to get that off. Oh, where those saggy balls at?

[Mecca]

You brought up the balls, and I just had. That's. I had a little tidbit to add about the balls. Don't run from saggy balls. And honestly, saggy balls doesn't even mean old. I've seen. Seen, like, not necessarily the older guys that I've been with, though. They didn't have saggy balls. They had an incredibly tight balls. Honestly. Shockingly. Honestly. They're very, like, up.

[Jameela Bell]

Did they have grays in their pubes?

[Mecca]

No. Money Grays in the head and the beard, but it hadn't hit the pubes yet. But, you know, it's just like, the manscaping is so crazy.

[Jameela Bell]

Like, damn.

[Mecca]

Like, I found a gray hair in my cooch like, last week. I screamed old bitch. I know.

[Jameela Bell]

I said, I have a couple of grays in my head, so I'll be dyeing it soon.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I don't play that. Yeah, no, I'm gonna go gray. I didn't even know it was happening because I get my hoo ha lasered. So I said, what the time to schedule an appointment?

[Jameela Bell]

Gray pubes is crazy.

[Mecca]

Yeah. It scared me because it's like, wow. Everything about us changes our bodies. Like, really do.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Do go through.

[Jameela Bell]

Are we gonna get, like, gray leg hair?

[Mecca]

Yeah, I think so. I would. I would believe so.

[Jameela Bell]

We're gonna take a break. Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores automate allowance, and keep an eye on your kids spending. With real time notifications, kids learn to earn, save, and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money. With guardrails in place. Try Greenlight risk free [e-mail] Spotify and we're back.

[Mecca]

Welcome to our segment Spin it where Jamila and I take your low down, messy, salacious situations and give them a little bit of a PR spin and then a little bit of everyday advice. Now, full disclosure, Jamila and I are not PR professionals. We just studied communications in undergrad and we love to help you spin a sticky situation. Remember, if you want to send us your situations, email unhinged anymore podmail.com don't forget to include your gender, your race, your age. Super important. Is there anything else? Did I miss anything they need to include? I think that was everything.

[Jameela Bell]

Okay, period.

[Mecca]

What do we have this week, Jameela?

[Jameela Bell]

All right, so the title of this is Broke My Abstinence for a Bum I Met at a Bar.

[Mecca]

Yikes.

[Jameela Bell]

Let's get right into it. Hi Jameela and Mecca. I love y' all so much and have been so happy to see your growth both individually and as a duo. Thank you so much. Okay, so my situation is kind of a two part scenario. My boyfriend of two years broke up with me two months ago, but he was being emotionally distant. About a month before that, he found out that I didn't keep an unexpected child and he broke up with me because he said it was a violation of trust. But he still proceeded to get my hopes up and have sex with me one last time and told me that he would remain friends. But I haven't heard from him in over a month, which hurts, but I have to accept it. The breakup has been hard on me, but I respect his decision and have no choice but to move forward, hoping he'll forgive me or even take me back one day. Since then, I have been abstinent, focusing on mental and physical health, not talking to any man, which has been easy at times, but really hard at others. Last weekend I went out with my friends and I got really drunk and I ended up going home with the guy. Mind you, this is a man that another guy I was talking to in a friendly manner introduced me to. I didn't get approached this night at all, so I just felt really desperate. The conversation was good and cute and he was feeling me. So we had sex. It was the worst and it lasted all of two seconds and then he just dipped on me. I wasn't expecting a relationship, but at least a genuine interaction, not just fucking me and hightailing me out of there. I have not heard from that man, but I did end up just blocking him and I just feel so bad about myself. I'm a fairy tale girl and deep down I think every man I encounter that I like could be my man. And I feel like men can smell the weakness on me. Do y' all have any advice on how I should spend this to feel better about myself? And do you have any advice on moving on being abstinent or how I can get my old thing back? Or should I stay lonely and leave these men alone together?

[Mecca]

Okay, so, so much to unpack here. I was abstinent for a year, and I did that on public, on TikTok. That is not. I won't say it's not hard, but that's not the issue here. It's. It's not the abstinence. Where do you want to. Where do you want to start?

[Jameela Bell]

I was going to start with the relationship ending. And because you said that you were also interested in and almost kind of, like, had an opening for that to come back, I'm going to tell you that right now. No, the fact that he ended a relationship with you because you got an abortion. Red flag. Sorry. That's just a personal thought for me. Um, and that just kind of felt weird to me, and it seems a little manipulationy, the fact that he kind of sweet talked. You have one. One good little sex in before y' all lift. No. So you need to close that chapter. Don't be open to having that even back in your life. Um, I think you need to ask yourself why you're being abstinent, because sometimes people think just being absent is gonna fix their problems. And if you don't have any intention behind the things that you do, you're just doing shit to do shit. Just to say it. Like walking around saying, oh, I'm celibate, I'm abstinent. And you don't have no intention. You're just saying it so that you can get that praise.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela Bell]

And I'm not saying you're doing it. I'm just saying ask yourself truly why you're doing it. If you're doing it for a reaction, for the praise, then you're not getting anything out of it.

[Mecca]

I feel the same.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

I feel the same about the boy, the ex, for a different reason. Now. Don't shoot me. I think ultimately, when you choose to get an abortion, it is ultimately the woman's decision. That's what I think. But I also think if a man says, I don't want to talk to you because of this, I think that's fair. Y' all made a baby 50. 50. He is entitled to his feelings. On fetus Deletus. On his. You know, a fetus. He is 50% of. And if he don't want to deal with you no more after that, I think that's fair. Now, in this particular situation, considering you mentioned he was emotionally distant, do I think he actually gives a fuck? I'm skeptical. It seemed like this was just his way out based on the information you gave us, especially since he fucked you again afterwards. Because a man who really cares about that, only because this is such a bad example, because Floyd Mayweather is crazy as fuck. But the way Floyd Mayweather reacted after Ms. Chantel, the one who was with Nelly, the reason didn't. The reason they broke up or whatever. When she got that abortion, he was so upset about it, and it was something that, like, upset him. When men are mad about that, for real, you can kind of tell. Like, when they see it as you killing their child or, you know, for real, like, you can tell. He doesn't. He's not giving that energy. So just did that. I really agree with Jameela, especially as someone who was abstinent for a year. My reasoning behind being abstinent was when I said my intention is what led me through the whole year. I think that she's correct there. You have to have a reason. And the reason can't necessarily just be, I'm heartbroken and I'm scared to get my feelings hurt again. Because as you have found out, that's not gonna save. Like, being abstinent is not gonna save you from getting your feelings hurt by a nigga. Like, it has to be like, for me, when I did it, I did go into it being like, I wanna do a boy cleanse. I wanna get my mind right. But as it was going on, I was finding all these other reasons to keep it going. Like, something I learned was I learned how to read people very well. I learned how to read men very well. Like, the first date, you can really see if you're gonna click here and click here. I felt like I was really focused on my friends, and I really cultivated a lot of good homegirl relationships during that point in time. It has to be more. Cause hate to say it, it doesn't matter how long you're abstinent. It's always a chance. The first nigga you fuck could do you weird. Like, this happened.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah. And I think that your issue is not necessarily the sex component. I think that you. Cause you said it.

[Mecca]

You're a lover girl.

[Jameela Bell]

You feel like every guy you meet is gonna be your man. You need to work on that. You need to figure out why that is. And it could be A level of insecurity, I don't know. But there, there is something there that you need to unpack. Why you feel this need to attach yourself to every guy you talk to? Because sometimes you meet a guy at the bar and it was just that a guy you met at the bar. Right? You guys had a fun, cool, flirty conversation. You don't need to go home with a guy just because you met at.

[Mecca]

Bar, even if you did the sex stuff. Yeah, I say you're not.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah, you blaming yourself. You really shouldn't go with anybody you met that night. Like, just because for safety reasons, you know what I'm saying? Like, and this is not. This is not a slut shaming type of thing, because I am very pro. Go fuck that, man, if you want to see what I'm saying. But I don't think that you should just be fucking niggas. You met that night at the club because for safety reasons, like, anything could happen, bro. Anything. You know, like, you just gotta be a little bit more. You gotta have a little bit more discernment about you. So I think that you're a little green. And I say that with all respect and love and empathy, but I can spot a green ass bitch from a mile away. You're very green because you're talking about something. We had such a good connection. No, y' all didn't. Y' all had a good, fun, flirty conversation at the bar.

[Mecca]

Liquor was involved.

[Jameela Bell]

That's it. And that's it. You expecting anything more than that, that's on you. And I hate to say that that man didn't do you dirty. And again, I hate to say that to you because I know you're. You're not expecting that, but that nigga didn't do you dirty. That nigga did you like he did you. Because that's what that was. It was a transactional wham, bam, it was a one night stand.

[Mecca]

They happen sometimes. And honestly, from, from your perspective, you're beating yourself up when he didn't satisfy you. So it's like, actually you saw, like, the way that you're looking at. This is not how I would be looking at it. You said you have mutual friends. You said you blocked him. Maybe you don't have to be as abrasive as I am, but I've been known to tell a nigga that sucked in the moment I did not come. And you make them apologize to you, and then you go to sleep and you let them leave. Like, why would you want someone to show interest in you who couldn't last 30 seconds. We're in such like a, I think a slut shaming society that it's like you feel like you did something wrong because you let him fuck. And it's like that you feel like that's on you and it really isn't. It's like, okay, y' all were at the bar. Y' all were adults. I understand it feeling like you got got, but why would you want to keep talking to someone who did not satisfy you? That doesn't even make no sense.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah, you kind of have this mentality of like, well, we had sex. He should want to reach out to me.

[Mecca]

No, no, I think that you need to practice non attachment.

[Jameela Bell]

You should want to reach out to him.

[Mecca]

Yeah, that's. That's what I'm saying. You shouldn't. Like, you're feeling like, oh, I blocked him, but I blocked him because he did me weird. You should be blocking him because his dick sucks.

[Jameela Bell]

Right? Like, that's. You got to change your change sister. Like you are. That's why I said you're very green because you're internalizing everything to be about you in the terms of, like, you think that you are the issue for everything. And it's not necessarily that you. You just need to have a little bit more security about yourself and you need to have confidence. Because if you have confidence and you're not basing your interactions based off of insecurity, then you will have more self worth. And I don't want that to come across as slut shaming.

[Mecca]

I swear.

[Jameela Bell]

I swear.

[Mecca]

I swear.

[Jameela Bell]

Because like I said, I'm pro. Go fuck that nigga if you want to.

[Mecca]

Literally, it's not really about the sex.

[Jameela Bell]

If you had more self worth and if you thought better about yourself, you would not have wanted to fuck this nigga that you just met at the bar that you had a cool interaction with, because you wouldn't think that deeply into it.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying? That like, to your point, if she had more self worth, she wouldn't have read the situation the way that she did. That's what I'm saying. You can say, like, Jamila's not trying to be slut shaming, but it doesn't even have to possibly even give that off because you can look at it from the perspective of you fucked me and I wasn't satisfied. That's why I'm blocking you, because I have work in my. Like, I'm not satisfied. Next.

[Jameela Bell]

Like, you didn't and I'm not Going and you're, you shouldn't be going back to anything that doesn't satisfy you in any type of way. No.

[Mecca]

What I will say, whether that be.

[Jameela Bell]

Mentally, physically, or whatever.

[Mecca]

I was abstinent. I felt like that was one of the things that I got. Not more self worth, but just realizing that so much of this shit in regards to dating is not me. It be the niggas. Because the one thing I will say again, when you're, when you're thriving off that sexual tension and you just want to get there and you want to fudge and it does cloud your judgment, it does make you be like, oh my God. You start creating scenarios in your head about a person, you start putting all these, this stuff on them that, that's not really how they are. That's you like wanting them to be like that. So when they don't do that, then it's like, oh, fuck you, nigga, you're trash. But it was never given that to begin with. I can definitely say being abstinent for a year, I realized so much of the shit, nigga. So I was like, oh, this has nothing to do with me. And after I came off that, I just feel like I started when my friends be like, you be moving like a nigga. Because I realized it's not them, it's me. Like, it's me. I'm the prize. You should be trying to satisfy me. I'm not finna follow up or text no nigga who I fucked on a one night stand at that. So you had, you had one chance and it was trash. And I'm not gonna feel bad about it.

[Jameela Bell]

Like, yeah, you gotta learn how to start compartmentalizing also your dating escapades. So you, for example, meeting this guy at the bar. Take that, take that and make it make sense, right? And I'm not saying you can't meet your forever man in a bar, because I've definitely met people at bars where we've dated for a while. But what I'm saying is take with a grain of salt, you know what I'm saying? Versus so think about how you're meeting this man. Think about the conversation that you have with this man. Think about the interactions that you're having. Think about how often y' all talk. Think about the way in which he's treating you. Think about the things that he's saying and compartmentalizing. Sometimes you meet a guy and you know that this is probably just gonna be somebody. You know, I'm saying I sleep with or this guy I really am invested in or this is this. Like you really have to think about the interactions. And if you are the type of person. Because sometimes this is something that you can't fix. If you are the type of person that you have a very strong connection to sex in the way that you feel like if you have sex with somebody, you are going to be locked in that whatever. Not that I believe in soul ties.

[Mecca]

No, this is not. But if you have that type of mentality, self awareness.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah, right. But if you are the type of person that believes in shit like that, then you probably don't need to be having sex with every nigga you talk to. You should probably lock that thing down for a little bit because this is a situation if we want to bring it back to Love Island. For example, wise a hooda versus Hannah Hooda, as soon as she, you know, started being very physical with Jeremiah, was very locked in, could not see, she had tunnel vision, right? She could not really focus on herself or anything rather. And so it made her kind of like lose all train of rationale versus with Hannah, she was able to kind of be freaky deaky with every nigga that she encountered and not really internalize it super deeply and can kind of move on quickly. They're just two different type of people. You have to figure out the type.

[Mecca]

Of person you are. I just want to talk about that for a second. Knowing what type of person you are, number one. And knowing if that's something you can move past. Um, again, a lot of this do be self awareness and we try and put it on everyone in terms of like people believing in soul ties. There are some people who can fuck and not feel anything. There are some people who fuck, for the most part, don't feel anything. But then maybe start. I think Ciara would be a good example of that on Love Island. Like, she was the one who was like, I have 13. She had the most bodies out the spilla. She's real chill, but I think she's also emotionally intelligent. So she said in this situation, she said, you know, I just want to let you know this is how I'm feeling. I would say that's more along the type of person I am. Like, I can do it, but if I like you, I'll be like, nah, I like you. And like, you have to. Unfortunately, something you can only figure out if you can if you get in the field for real. So it's like, this is why I be like. Hofe is so crucial for character development in several different ways. One to Figure out what you like. Two, to figure out what type of person you are. If you can even be moving a certain way, if you can even be, if you, if you are emotionally capable of doing this, because that's really important. Like, I'm not going to sit up here and tell you to fuck. And I know if you fuck a nigga, you're going to be locked in. But before you get to your point, Jamila, I spent the first, I spent, I was in three basic big relationships in my early 20s. I spent my whole early 20s in relationships because I was a relationship ass bitch. And one thing I know about relationship ass bitches, you get about a relationship and you find yourself within two months locked in with a whole nother nigga. Now you're in another relationship. Get outside. Stop trying to lock in with people. Stop.

[Jameela Bell]

What I was going to say is just because you're absent doesn't mean you have to stop talking to God. So if you want to make the decision to be absent again and you feel like that is the right decision for you, you have all your attention set, that doesn't mean you have to stop dating and stop seeking that male kinship or whatever. And I think that a lot of times people make it seem like that is what it has to be. And I think because a lot of people don't have sexual discipline.

[Mecca]

Hello.

[Jameela Bell]

And so again, you have to really figure out where you are on this spectrum of life. Right? Do you not have sexual discipline? If that's the thing, then maybe you need to address that. You have to figure out what the root of these things they gonna try.

[Mecca]

And call you kick shame you, or sex shame you for even saying that. Having sexual discipline, Listen, it is what it is.

[Jameela Bell]

You need to have sexual discipline if you feel like you can't look at somebody without fucking them. You know what I'm saying?

[Mecca]

You know, that's a trauma that's deeply.

[Jameela Bell]

Let's address that. Yeah, there's something in that. So I think that you need to figure out where you can go. If you feel like abstinence is the way for you to go, then I, I implore and encourage you to date even more than you would date pre abstinence, actually. Because you really need to start gaining a level of security within yourself. You need to understand what you like in a guy because it seems like you date far and few in between and every guy you date, you latch onto. And I understand that because that was me in the early 20s. Yeah, every nigga I talked to, I was like, this is My man crying. My man. I really like him. Yeah, I can really see a future. I really can. And you can't see shit. You're just.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela Bell]

You know what I'm saying? You don't. Because you don't have that dating experience that comes with a lack of dating experience. As you get older, as you date more, as you have more intention behind dating, as you start to think about what you actually like versus what seems good, you will be like, oh yeah, okay, I get it now.

[Mecca]

When I was abstinent, I dated again. I did this on TikTok and I was on a date like every week. I dated so much. Which is why I'm saying I was able to figure out what type of person I am. It's them, it's not me. It's like because you're going on these. Also the level of non attachment I developed being abstinent and dating because it's like you meet a guy and you really like him and then you tell him you're not fucking and all of a sudden he stops texting you. You all of a sudden he doesn't stop responding. Like. And you've been talking to him for two weeks. You're thinking like, oh, this is. This is a good thing.

[Jameela Bell]

Was that something you would say? First date?

[Mecca]

No.

[Jameela Bell]

Or what?

[Mecca]

No, it's not anything. Cause I feel like first date wise. Why are we talking about sex or sex? Like, you know, I just feel like that's. That's kind of weird because I know.

[Jameela Bell]

Some people which callback will rip that band aid off, especially if they're celibate specifically. They'll be like, just let you know.

[Mecca]

Celibate is when you're waiting until marriage. Abstinence, when you're just like, I'm just doing this just cause I want to for whatever reason. Also getting back to callback, when you were talking about kissing on the first day and the studs. This is actually when I stopped doing that type of shit because it was like, well, I'm not gonna fuck, so why would I kiss you? So it's like I got. I got very. I developed so many dating habits that I still have to this day that I think are good dating habits. Like the first time you meet someone, we really. There's nothing sexual. We have to talk about this first conversation and if you bring it up, I'm turned off. So.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah. Cause it comes across as very like weird. I don't know how to even explain this.

[Mecca]

Like, what's going on?

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah, it's like, calm down. Yeah.

[Mecca]

So, and I, yeah, go at. If you're gonna be abstinent, you need to be going on dates. So. And that will quickly. And it's gonna happen cause niggas wanna fuck. That will quickly get you deep into non attachment. It don't matter how much you feel in a N if he wanna fuck and you tell him you're not fucking, baby, he's gone. He's gone.

[Jameela Bell]

And you'll also start to realize how sex affects your judgment. You'll start to realize, oh, wait, I have been using sex as a judge of likeness this entire time. And you start to become clear there's gonna be a level of clarity for you if you do it right. Now, I per se, have not necessarily been abstinent before, but I have gone a very long time, a few times without having any type of sexual interaction. But I think it's one of those things, like I said, you just have to be very aware of yourself and you have to take note of everything. So after each situation, I really just keep thinking about it like, and I think about all because no shade, no tea. I have never done a nigga wrong. I have. And that's not to say I'm perfect. I'm not. However, when I think about the situations where a nigga has done me wrong, I still try to figure out where was my accountability in that and where. How did I contribute to that situation? Even though I feel like they were wrong, it's. No one is ever just that wrong. You know what I'm saying? Like, you also have to figure out. And it's difficult to do, especially when it's a really serious situation. It's difficult to look in the mirror and be like, how did I contribute to this situation? How? What did I do to lead me here? That is how you also learn and grow.

[Mecca]

Yes, it is.

[Jameela Bell]

So you have to really assess each situation, each dating experience, each sex experience, everything. Like, analyze yourself not to the point where you're beating yourself up. It's not about that. It's not about like, oh, I'm such a dumb ass bitch. Fuck no, don't do that. Because then you're gonna need Lexi. I want you to just literally think and reflect on the decisions you make, the things that you do, the things that you say, the people you talk to, the people you entertain. And I guarantee you, you will start to learn so much about yourself and you will start to be so much better.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela Bell]

And that doesn't have to happen with abstinence.

[Mecca]

No.

[Jameela Bell]

But if you decide to do it with Abstinence. The same rules apply with or without abstinence.

[Mecca]

A lesson I learned when I started doing heavy reflection. Mind you, my ex was a terrorist. He terrorized me. But I did. I did what Jamila is talking about doing. And I'm not naturally super affectionate. This is like a running joke amongst my friends. And I always end up with men who are extremely, extremely affectionate. I realize. But I would, like, love my ex in my love languages and not his. Like, my love language is like, I'm. I'm really, honestly, a Taylor Alandria vibe. Heavy. We just gotta sit next to each other. Heavy. We're just in each other's presence. Like, and when I. When I was healed enough to go out of it and, like, be like, okay, well, what did. What. What was something I could have did better? I definitely saw where, like, I do think he would have cheated regardless, because he was trash. But I saw the cracks and I saw my contributions to the cracks. Because when you're doing something like this and I'm not really responding, that's like a form of rejection. But I'm thinking because we're sitting next to each other, we're, We're. We're on the same page. So these are just the things that you gotta think about. Like, when you're thinking about your ex again, he sounds like a villain. He sounds like he's using the abortion against you.

[Jameela Bell]

But.

[Mecca]

But once you're healed, you'll be able to look back on that situation and be like, okay, so what? Like, when he started becoming emotionally distant, like, where was my part in that? What else? Yeah, what else was happening? Yeah, no, it's really fun when you do that because then you could take to your next situation to make sure you're better.

[Jameela Bell]

Yeah. And I honestly feel like you do get. You just do get better. Even if you're not actively trying. Just at some point, your body, your mind is going to start doing the work before you do. Because it's like, all right, bitch, now.

[Mecca]

God damn it.

[Jameela Bell]

You know what I'm saying? Like, that's why I be so confused when n be 30 and still crazy. It's like you have to actively be trying to not be shit at this age. Like, you're trying to be horrible. Yeah, you're just gonna start to experience so more like. And honestly, it becomes so much more fun and so much more enjoyable because there was a point in time where I genuinely did not like dating. There was nothing enjoyable about it for me because I felt like it was a chore. I felt like I was trying too hard. It just. Nothing felt enjoyable. But once I started to really do self reflection, I started to kind of change my habits, my own personal habits, not talking about these niggas even though they gain shit. Once I started addressing myself, it started to become way more enjoyable. So. Yeah, well girl, I. I hope we helped you out.

[Mecca]

You'll be all right, girl. Well, let's get into these comments.

[Jameela Bell]

Okay, we're gonna take a break. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. With the price of just about everything going up, we thought we'd bring our prices down. So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a.

[Mecca]

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[Jameela Bell]

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[Mecca]

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[Jameela Bell]

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[Mecca]

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[Jameela Bell]

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[Mecca]

And we're back.

[Jameela Bell]

All right y' all. So we're about to read some of yalls reviews and comments that y' all have left under our platforms. Please remember to keep engaging with us guys. We really, really enjoy it. I'm gonna go ahead and start by reading some of the comments from Spotify. And this is from Essence C. They said this was such a great spin it. I hope she hears it. Chrissy says finally. Thank you Jamila. The whole time I'm saying go off on your sister and sock your brother in law Lavelle friend. All my friends in my ears we love Lavelle. Jaz Mahone says Mecca please. At 55:32 second mark I was cracking.

[Mecca]

Uh, I will be reading the YouTube comments and desi Dariod Deb debonair xg8zx good lord long name this spin, it resonated with me deeply. I was outed in high school and my grandma called a family meeting basically condemning me. She was too Southern Baptist and told me that since my mom was in heaven, I would not see her in the afterlife if I continued living in sin. The advice y' all gave was so real. Protect that baby. Oh my God, that's so, that's so. That's so mean. Like no shade. Grandma please go to go to hell. Oh my God. Destiny Todd7429 said we ain't giving nobody 50k followers again. That was a crazy time on TikTok. I was like, whoa, wait a second. Like, clearly you are a household name if there. And there's no doubt about it. Props to you for not feeding into negativity and letting them get what they wanted off the obvious hate train. Side note, I wanted you to make your profile picture Mr. Clean so bad during the controversy, but I know that would have had them up in arms. Why Mr. Clean?

[Jameela Bell]

I think maybe that's for Lavelle.

[Mecca]

Oh, okay.

[Jameela Bell]

Because I think they were calling. They were calling him that to be funny. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mecca]

Never again. 623 said. My favorite podcast. I'm a silent supporter. Never comments on or anything, but I love y' all and y' all keep me entertained. Keep going. I love the guests on here too. And on Patreon.

[Jameela Bell]

Yay.

[Mecca]

Ray said, Best revenge is your paper. Congrats, Mecca, on the collab. Thank you, Monique. Malcolm, 11, said, OMG. As soon as I saw the thumbnail, my eyes welled up. I love Lavelle's whole life and everything he stands for. Y' all are blessed to have each other. And then Destiny taught. Oh, Destiny. Todd commented again and said, you all handled your progress, your progressing fame with such grace while remaining entertaining and hilarious. Thank you for the light you bring to the Internet. Wow. Thank you. That was so nice.

[Jameela Bell]

Thank you. All right, y' all, these are from Apple. Ari, Jasper Said, hey, I love y' all relationship and your podcast. So bad. I feel like I relate so, so much to Jamila. Personality wise, everything you say be on my mind. I feel like I'm listening to my older self. I love me a Gemini. I'm a Gemini rising and a SAG sun, so just be speaking my language for real. Mecca also reminds me of my best friend, too. Just, it's so fun listening to y' all bouncing off each other. Thank you so much, Gemini. P.S. i don't mind the talking over each other because it's so relatable when you.

[Mecca]

Talking to a close friend. I feel like we're getting better.

[Jameela Bell]

Two bitches with ADHD saying, exactly, exactly. All right. That was a great episode, guys. Very fun, very slutty.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela Bell]

What can we say? Um, as far as announcements, I'm sure you guys have already seen at this point, but we'll say it again because it's just so fucking juicy and amazing. We have been invited to ESSENCE Fest this year, guys. We will be on a panel. Um, we will actually be speaking on the panel on the 5th. So if you guys are going to ESSENCE Fest, make sure you guys pull up to our panel on the 5th. Of course, all the details will be out. We are super, super excited. We've known about this for a little while, but obviously you gotta wait till the ink dry, y' all. You gotta wait till stuff is really solidified. So we are super excited to be there. I know. I can't wait. I know, Megan. Can't wait. Can't wait to see everybody. Yes.

[Mecca]

And that's it.

[Jameela Bell]

What? Up.

[Mecca]

Some grass on Bourbon and have some fun.

[Jameela Bell]

We're gonna have a blast. Let me tell you something, girl. We're gonna have so much fun. I can't wait to see everybody. So. Yeah. Well, another great episode of Unhinged Immoral. As always, make sure you guys are commenting, liking, subscribing and make sure you guys are subscribed to the Patreon. Like I said, we are doing our own Unhinged after some for love is blind. So for all of my islanders, make sure you guys are subscribed and turn your post notifications on for everything and we'll see you guys next episode. Bye. Unhinged and Immoral is hosted by Jamila Bell and Mecca produced by Melissa D.

[Mecca]

Montz and Diamond Imprint Productions, post production by Coco Lawrence, production assistant by Melanie.

[Jameela Bell]

D. Watson, music by Adi and Brooklyn.

[Mecca]

Billionaires and graphics by Claudia Choi.