Can The Side Chick Grieve Yet?

Summary

Summary of "Can The Side Chick Grieve Yet?" - Unhinged & Immoral Podcast Episode

In the June 5, 2025 episode titled "Can The Side Chick Grieve Yet?" of Unhinged & Immoral, hosts Jamila Bell and Mecca Evans navigate the intricate and often controversial dynamics of side relationships within the realm of internet gossip and pop culture. The episode delves deep into the emotional and societal implications faced by side partners when dealing with loss, separation, and societal judgment.

Introduction to the Episode's Theme

The episode immediately sets a candid and unfiltered tone as the hosts transition from promotional segments to the core discussion. Mecca kicks off by sharing a personal experience related to attending a church anniversary in traditional African attire, which inadvertently drew negative comments online.

Mecca [02:12]: "I had to delete the video because they were trying to start a diaspora in my comments."

This incident serves as a springboard for exploring broader themes of authenticity, public perception, and the impact of online negativity.

Navigating Online Negativity and Personal Boundaries

Mecca and Jamila discuss the challenges of maintaining one's authenticity in the face of online criticism. Mecca emphasizes the importance of staying grounded amidst backlash, drawing inspiration from Beyoncé's early experiences with negativity and perseverance.

Mecca [06:10]: "I keep myself grounded. I pray every night for mental strength."

Jamila adds her perspective on the double standards prevalent in societal judgments, especially towards women who are often harsher critics of each other's choices.

Celebrity Relationships and Societal Expectations

The conversation shifts to high-profile relationships, using examples like Cardi B and Offset to highlight how society often scrutinizes and judges women for moving on swiftly after relationship breakdowns.

Jamila [23:05]: "You can move on way earlier than you think you should."

They contrast this with the differing societal expectations placed on men, noting that men often face less pressure to adhere to prolonged expressions of grief or loyalty in relationships.

Can Side Partners Grieve?

The central theme of the episode revolves around whether side partners (often derogatorily referred to as "side chicks") should have the space and acceptance to grieve after the loss or departure of their primary partner.

Mecca [29:07]: "She should respect his wishes in death."

The hosts argue that despite the unofficial and often stigmatized nature of these relationships, the emotional experiences of side partners are just as valid and deserving of respect as any other grieving process.

Personal Anecdotes and Trip to LA

Mecca recounts a memorable trip to Los Angeles, highlighting the emotional support they received from long-time friends and industry veterans. This trip underscored the importance of surrounding oneself with genuine support systems amidst public scrutiny.

Mecca [09:36]: "How Beyoncé handles conflict... don’t let the negativity get to you."

Listener Interaction and Practical Advice

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts address listener comments, providing practical advice on navigating complex friendship dynamics involving side relationships. A notable discussion centers on a listener named Andrea grappling with dancing with a friend's swinger partner, leading to tensions within her trio of friends.

Jamila [80:25]: "Just move on."

Mecca reinforces the importance of respecting boundaries and the potential consequences of blurring lines within friendships.

Mecca [74:52]: "At the least, how it looks."

Conclusion and Takeaways

The episode wraps up with Mecca and Jamila reiterating the need for empathy and understanding towards all forms of relationships, challenging listeners to rethink societal norms and biases. They advocate for setting clear boundaries and fostering open, honest dialogues to navigate the complexities of modern relationships.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Mecca [02:12]: "I had to delete the video because they were trying to start a diaspora in my comments."

• Jamila [23:05]: "You can move on way earlier than you think you should."

• Mecca [06:10]: "I keep myself grounded. I pray every night for mental strength."

• Mecca [29:07]: "She should respect his wishes in death."

• Jamila [80:25]: "Just move on."

Final Thoughts

"Can The Side Chick Grieve Yet?" offers a raw and insightful exploration of the often overlooked emotional landscapes of side relationships. Through personal anecdotes, celebrity analyses, and candid discussions, Jamila Bell and Mecca Evans encourage listeners to embrace a more compassionate and nuanced understanding of love, loss, and the myriad forms relationships can take in today's digital age.

Transcript

[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

Nice. My last name is Ball.

[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

Please, you're responsible.

[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

She flowing tall. Walk in the booth like Naomi on the cat bar and tell them from the jaguar it ain't even right though Push me and I might go she ain't getting money. I'm like, what the hype for? When the bite flow make my appetite go poof gone. Voila.

[Mecca]

Magic Looking mad good just to pull.

[Jamila]

Up on them Ramping.

[Mecca]

Welcome back to another episode of Unhinged Nemora.

[Jamila]

I am Mecca and I'm Jamila.

[Mecca]

And as usual, I'm tired.

[Jamila]

Were you doing something last night?

[Mecca]

No, I just. Instead of. Once we got off the plane to LA, I got back at 5am and then I took a nap and I went to church. When I got back from LA yesterday at 5am and then my church service was at 11, so I came and then I got home at 6, obviously with bags and Ubers. But it was important for me to go to church because I felt like we had such a productive time in LA and I wanted to show my gratitude, you know.

[Jamila]

Okay, you're making sure you are on that heaven list. Okay, you're safe.

[Mecca]

It was church anniversary, I showed up.

[Jamila]

You're safe.

[Mecca]

I also did want my church wanted us to wear like traditional African clothes. The country didn't matter. And I've had like these Ethiopian kidneys that I wanted to get off and you know, hater ass bitches on the Internet. Wanted to say it was ugly. I had to delete the video or I friend zone lead it. Because they were trying to start a diaspora in my comments.

[Jamila]

And it's like you. They fell right into the old trap. See how you just slipped into xenophobe Gotcha. You was trying to be funny so bad.

[Mecca]

Because the thing was, I put it on. So the hopper shot girls was like T T T. And the hater ass bitches came. This is ugly. This is da da da. So then one of the girls, one of the Ethiopian girls ended up responding. And I'm watching the back and forth and typically I don't even do shit like this unless it gets too far. And I said, you know what? This. I was just like, in the video, it had just got to maybe around 13,000 and it was, you know how when it gets to at past the double digits then it's going to start picking up speed. I was like watching the comments go left, like, literally.

[Jamila]

It's one of those things though, because we're at the point now where like everybody wants to get their one. And you already know, since there was like the narrative of like Mecca can't dress. They're gonna. They're gonna pick apart every outfit. Even if they like it, they have to find something. They just wanna do that. Because even when they tried to like lump me into the conversation of who can dress, even though I never say anything about cowboy car, but you know how y' all do. And so it became also, Jameela can't dress when I posted my outfit, which was obviously tea you bitches. No, it was. There were still people in my comment section saying there was this one bitch in particular. I'm pretty sure I blocked her. She was like, yeah, nice try. Do better like, or something like that.

[Mecca]

I said, oh, bitch.

[Jamila]

Oh please, you guys, like, come on. But also the reason, the plot, the.

[Mecca]

Reason it was very clear. Hey, erase in dance three. Because I got online and said, hey guys. My church wanted us to wear traditional African clothes. So this is Mike Kimmy from Ethiopia.

[Jamila]

The. You did the preliminary?

[Mecca]

I literally did the preliminary. And then what? Also let me know y' all was really simply just there to hate. It made its way to like the Ethiopian girls first. Now if they do the dance. No, I didn't even do my shoulders. I. And I had definitely planned.

[Jamila]

If you would have did that, it would have shut everything down. You should have just.

[Mecca]

No, Jamila. I had planned to make several follow up videos. It went so left that I said, oh, I'm not even gonna be able to have fun with this, because I don't want to offend nobody. You didn't even peep it because. No, I shut it down so quick. Because what y' all wasn't finna do is spin that into Mecca, is making a safe space for diaspora wars. Cause that's where that shit would've went. I put that shit on.

[Jamila]

It always gets so weird so quickly. No, but let's stay on topic, y' all.

[Mecca]

But the thing is, if the Ethiopian girls had said, oh, that, that's not a cute dress, then I would have been like, oh, I ate it.

[Jamila]

Then we can reassess.

[Mecca]

Then we could have reassessed it. But they were kind of the first ones in the comments to begin with, so they were. They were like, tea. Okay, okay. So I was like, already you bitches are hating. You're just hating. Mind you, them dresses be handmade. That's the other piece.

[Jamila]

You know, if you would have shown up in, you know, the traditional Nigerian garbs that they wear at a wedding, they would have said something. If you would have showed up with anything, they would have said something. It's like, that's just where we are right now.

[Mecca]

So it's like talking to Darrington about that, I was like, well, that sucks. But, you know, lean into it. Get the brand deals. It is what it is.

[Jamila]

Let them get their little one off. Like, okay. I mean, y' all are really not doing me a disservice as much as y' all think y' all are like.

[Mecca]

It's.

[Jamila]

You know what I'm saying, at the.

[Mecca]

End of the day. School of Kris Jenner.

[Jamila]

Once we've realized that our name does hold so much weight, and that's why some people try to, you know, latch onto it. Any chance they get to get a little. A little bit of that as well? It's like, you know what I'm saying?

[Mecca]

I feel like I definitely. In la, that was such a timely moment, you know, not to say that we let it get to us, but it could quickly get to you. I'm very big on. I keep myself grounded. I be in my prayer cupboard. I pray every night for mental strength. We like doing this for real. But the trip was so timely because it just, you know, people want to constantly be like, you bitches. I shit. Y' all are just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. Yeah, just just. And I think getting around people who, you know, like, we've been watching on the Internet since we were in high school, like the true OGs. Like, motherfuckers know who they are. And having them be like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. When I got on TikTok, I was following your formula. Or when I did this, I was like, like watching people in your industry giving your flowers and telling you that you're doing it correctly. But that is, that's the thing, right? Cause a bitch on the Internet who ain't got a pot to piss in can have an opinion. We all are allowed that. But when it's someone who's doing what I'm doing and has been doing it successfully for 10 plus years, is telling me I'm on the right track and don't let the negativity get to me, you know, it just, it's like, okay.

[Jamila]

Heard the hate comments that they just don't move anything because y' all don't have any power. Genuinely speaking. I don't have the power to determine my fate, to determine my outcomes. Like, I put in so much work, and I would be damned if I let an Internet troll come in between me and the dreams I've been working on my entire life. And that's the funny part about some of the comments about just, just, just. And we just. Because it's like the just, you know, what it gives, it goes right over my head. Cause I don't know who you're talking about. I've been working towards my career my entire life. I have no idea what you're talking about. Wrong bitch. You know, Wrong bitch. I don't know who you're talking about. And I don't know what you're referring to. I genuinely don't know. And that's why I can't, I can't care. And I can't cater to those comments either, because it's like, oh, you're not talking about me. I don't know.

[Mecca]

Yeah, it just very much gives, like. And people fall into this, which I'm gonna transition. But don't let a bitch trick you out your spot. Because the reason Ms. Tina did a lesson about, like, from the matriarch, gonna plug it every time. But basically, when Beyonce was in, was in elementary school, these girls were making fun of her because Ms. Tina bought her this fly ass jacket. Beyonce loved it, but the little girls at school told her it was ugly. So Ms. Tina said, she, you know, Beyonce came home, I don't like the jacket. She said, why? She said, cause they said it's ugly. She said, okay, go back to school and give it to him. And Beyonce was like, why? Why would they want my Jacket. They said, it's ugly. She said, just do it. And she did it. And the girls, it was two of them, snatched the jacket, ended up fighting over it of who was gonna take it. Why? Because they really liked the jacket. And Ms. Tina was talking about how that lesson has stuck with Beyonce and guides how she handles conflict. And then you look at how Beyonce handles conflict and don't respond to it because, bitch, I know you. This is what you want. I said, Ms. Tina was really giving us gems in that damn book. I ain't gonna lie. That book was also timing. That's a word. These. They picking you apart because they want your spot.

[Jamila]

What up? What a metaphor.

[Mecca]

What a metaphor. They want your. They want. They want your jacket. They want my jacket. So what you gonna do? Talk about it, right? I mean, it is.

[Jamila]

And so it's like, what you gonna do? Give it to him? Fuck no. You bitches got me fucked up. I be damned. Like, I'm jam like Beyonce.

[Mecca]

Beyonce came home like, mama, they took my jacket confused as shit. I'm like, yeah, I love a good lesson. I love a good lesson.

[Jamila]

Yes. So t. And what have you learned?

[Mecca]

And what have you?

[Jamila]

Never let a.

[Mecca]

Never let a trick you out your jacket.

[Jamila]

Never let a. Okay.

[Mecca]

Like, yeah, don't let. Don't let the little bitches take your jacket. That's the lesson.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Well, speaking of.

[Jamila]

Speaking of bitches taking.

[Mecca]

Taking spots, you know what I wanted to say? Speaking of, like, I'm so happy. Cause we talked about this last week with lavelle and it was also timely. So money, long known with the whole controversy. That was some Internet troll shit though, right? And then she said something out of emotion, and I made a video about it. Right? Just. And. But I was. I said it with care. And she commented like, she commented under it with a little heart. And so I was just like, you see how you can get your point off without calling someone a gunk ass bitch, though? And that's a.

[Jamila]

It's almost a foreign concept, I feel.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying? Like, you can really disagree. Cause even when it's been times with us, I don't never block people who disagree with me. Respectfully. I really don't. Cause I be feeling like, you know what? Okay, I see there was some. And she's actually an active follower. And she. She made a video disagreeing with me. She's like, I don't want to hate Tameka. I just did not agree with this point. And this here are all the bullet points.

[Jamila]

Why?

[Mecca]

And I Just the more obviously, I always, you know, am mindful of how I speak. But that situation especially, I was like, okay. Another example of how you don't know who's watching you. So calling folks fuck ass, bitch, girl, you don't know who's watching you.

[Jamila]

It's like, okay, yeah, you know, do.

[Mecca]

Your shit, do your one, do your two.

[Jamila]

If that's how you feel, that's how you feel. I'm never here to. Well, let me not say never. Cause I've been there before. But I cannot, like, change your opinion about me if you don't know me. You know what I'm saying? It's like you'll fall into that trap trying to defend yourself from bullshit. And it's like, yeah, that's what happens when people don't treat conversations with care. And you can tell who actively cares about said situation or said conversation based on how they respond to something they disagree with. Because when your immediate reaction is to, like, just go completely off the rails and you lose track of the conversation, I don't think that you care about the conversation at hand. I think you care about dragging a person. And maybe you should ask yourself that before you try and, like, do some public correction of people. Like, do you actually care about the conversation at hand? Do you want there to be extensive, nuanced conversation and open dialogue? Or do you just want to drag a bitch? And sometimes you just want to drag a bitch. And that's.

[Mecca]

Hey, and I would respect y' all more if you was honest about it.

[Jamila]

You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you just feel like dragging a.

[Mecca]

Bitch and do that instead of hiding pseudo intellectualism. Cause y' all are not intellectuals. Not to drag heavy on Sue. Not to drag y' all too much. It's not giving smart at all. Anyway, speaking of dragging, Cardi B and Stephon Diggs, they're really dragging Offset. And I mean with class.

[Jamila]

Yes. And you know the moment Offset's baby mama, the original one, said, hey, Cardi may offset a better dad to my kids.

[Mecca]

That's when you should have known.

[Jamila]

Oh, okay, this is gonna get nasty. I said, oh, he's what you call gutter. I mean, and are we surprised? Well, no, he's a Sagittarius, but who.

[Mecca]

Was also a Michael Jackson, Stan himself. Don't forget that part.

[Jamila]

That ain't got. That ain't got nothing to do with me, baby.

[Mecca]

I know y' all seem Jamila crying. You know, that video's been a slow grind. I put it up in the first day. It didn't even break 10k. And now all of a sudden, it's more and more. They in my comments, like, shout out to Henry. This is the. This is the. Where he died. That is the room where Michael Jackson.

[Jamila]

Died that I have to, you know, I have to get my one. My little sidebar. Let me just talk about that real quick because I haven't even. I haven't even talked about it on my page yet. For real? For real. Cause I just. I'm tired, child. The way that we did not know we were going to see Michael Jackson's house, that was not a part of the tour.

[Mecca]

It wasn't.

[Jamila]

We were just about done wrapping up with the tour, and the tour guide said, do y' all want to keep seeing more celebrity houses or do y' all want to go do something else? No, Me and Jaz talking about something. Beyonce. Take us to Beyonce house. Craziest shit. I'm sorry, Beyonce, Please don't think we're weird. I just wanted to see. What was it? I ain't want to go to the front door, sister. And he says, baby, Beyonce don't live out here. You know what I'm saying? Okay, cool. No problem. And he goes, do you guys want to go see Michael Jackson? Yes. I screamed to the top of my life.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

Are you shitting me? Mind you, I've seen Michael Jackson's house before, obviously on the news and stuff like that. But just for reference, all the houses that you see on the tour are not houses that you can drive up to. Like, for example, we got to see jlo's house, but hers was like, like in the distance on, like, a hill. So we could see her entire house, but it was like on a hill. And it was inside of a gated community. We couldn't, you know, drive into it, but some of them, you could drive within, like, the actual street and be, boom. Like, Rihanna house, sister. I was at your front door.

[Mecca]

Rihanna. I do understand why you have it set up like a fortress. Because they're doing tours.

[Jamila]

You're not getting in there.

[Mecca]

You're not getting in. But we was on her street, her culture, right?

[Jamila]

So I didn't know what. I didn't. I didn't know what to expect, right? So we pull up and we see Elvis house. First. He's like, yes, this is Elvis old house. Da, da, da. You know, fuck Elvis. But, you know, he's giving all his tea. Then he goes, and we're rolling up to the left. This is Elvis Presley's son in law, me. Does Anybody know Michael, Michael, Michael.

[Mecca]

Mind you, the whole.

[Jamila]

Hello.

[Mecca]

No, he asked it, no one answered. Jameela. Just kind of shocked. Don't forget that part. And he asked it again. No one was answering. And Joey was also sitting in the back, so I don't think he heard you answer the first time.

[Jamila]

And I keep saying, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael.

[Mecca]

He keeps asking, who is Elvis Presley's son in law.

[Jamila]

Elvis Presley's son in law. Also Michael, pick me.

[Mecca]

Also a side pivot. I love how Mexicans in California, being California, like, have their own accent. The one thing I was saying here is when I, when we, when I moved to Texas and the Mexicans had deep voices like niggas, I said, the.

[Jamila]

Mexicans in Texas are too southernized.

[Mecca]

They're Southern, Yeah. California, they have their own stees and their own, like, you can. Like that accent comes from. Their parents are not from America. And that's the Spanish mixed in with the Cali. And you have. Hey, Sa. Hey. So our tour guide had the classic. Ladies, my name. Perfect, perfect. This is Michael. This is Michael Jackson's house.

[Jamila]

Yeah. So as soon as he said that, like, and then, so when he said it originally, where the bus was, where I was, I still couldn't see it because it was still like a lot of trees and shrubbery. It's like as soon as he said Michael Jackson, it opened like this. And I. Which I saw was a genuine reaction. I was genuinely gagged. Boo. I did not know we were dragged. I did not know we were driving right up, like. And it just hit me like, I just got so overwhelmed. Like, oh my gosh.

[Mecca]

Like, have you ever seen a picture of them bringing his body, his body out of when he died?

[Jamila]

And I'm just like, man, this is crazy. And, and, and what y' all don't realize is that like, as Michael Jackson standoms, we know we're here. There's not a lot of Michael Jackson artifacts that you can really walk up to because a lot of them are put up upon the estate. It gets, it gets a little tricky, right? So to have that be right there in front of me and me be able to. That's the, that's the closest thing I've ever seen of Michael Jackson. Everything else is just a video. So it was just, it was insane.

[Mecca]

We're going to take a break.

[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

With all the stuff that I have going on and then also being a mom, it's just too much to try to go to the grocery store and figure out what I'm going to cook every day. I feel like it just makes everything so easy and honestly the food is pretty tasty.

[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

And Rebecca I was actually pretty surprised at how open it was because when he looked at it and was like that's the room that Michael Jackson died in.

[Jamila]

You could see his.

[Mecca]

You could see his like whereas Rihanna had a big ass fence, a lot of them have big ass. You can't really see in. Michael was actually quite old. Like I you know, given how the pop the paps was with him, I can definitely see them outside that house trying to get pics. But also they could have got pics because it was quite open. So I don't know if that's something that's changed but I will say considering.

[Jamila]

He passed in 09, social media wasn't the. It wasn't. So I think that if it had been present day I think it would have been probably closer to like a Rihanna.

[Mecca]

Yeah, it would have had to be. I said this is way Michael Jackson. This is way too open. Yeah, but.

[Jamila]

But I feel like it made sense for the time kind of.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

Even though he was still like huge, it was just, it was the difference. The only people he was kind of fight against was paparazzi. I don't think normal people because we didn't have the ability to get as much footage, if that makes sense. Like, you have to think about. Oh, mind you. And he died, like, you know, early ish. Like, halfway through, you know, 2009. So really think about pre 2009. Like, wait, wait, it wasn't had.

[Mecca]

You're a jerk. Came out yet. Because the original iPhones, I do not think that the old. So. And I'm only asking because, like, a new. I like the new ipod. Just touch her and turn her on. The iPhones did not originally have cameras on them, I don't think.

[Jamila]

Yeah, I don't. I don't think. Because I'm thinking of that time, and.

[Mecca]

I think that came out in 09. It did.

[Jamila]

It came out in April 09.

[Mecca]

Okay. Okay.

[Jamila]

So still very, like, just listen.

[Mecca]

Yeah. And it's empty, though.

[Jamila]

I was gonna say it was nothing like this. And even then, you have things. Most people still had flip phones and things like that. So I think it probably would have made sense for the time. But anyways, moral of the story is, y' all, I had a. A really amazing birthday. The only thing that would have made that better is if my best friend Sydney was there, because she is also, like, a Michael Jackson Stan. That's actually how we became really close because we both realized we were cuckoo crazy for Michael Jackson. And she's, like, the only person in this world that, like, really understands, like, my love for Michael Jackson. So she would have been there. We would have just been sitting there, just two babies crying, and I probably.

[Mecca]

Would have laughed twice as hard.

[Jamila]

We would have been just sitting there, like, looking at each other like, no. We would have been like, stop the bus. We gotta get off, baby.

[Mecca]

So you know how in my video, I was, like, comforting you and I said, it's okay. Just one more hurt. The people who listen to our podcast and know where that comes from, I said, ugh, I love people who understand the lore.

[Jamila]

Yes. Keep up, keep up, keep up.

[Mecca]

Just one more hurt, baby. It's okay. When they was in the comments, I was cracking up. I said, y' all caught it, period. But back to Cardi and Staphon and back and Vanessa Bryant, because I have a question. How quickly do you move on after a relationship ends, after a partner passes, after all the things where you just find yourself single and maybe, you know, speaking of the partner passing, you're at a point where you're ready, so you might be ready when is appropriate. Like, there's a lot of questions that go into these things for women that don't that aren't asked of men.

[Jamila]

And I was gonna. That was gonna be my thing. So I definitely think that when you move on, obviously, there's not a definite answer, right? There is. No one answer fits all.

[Mecca]

It's.

[Jamila]

It depends on the situation, depends on the people, depends on how long y' all together, right? Obviously. But I think that for women, I'm talking to girls, so boys, please don't give your opinion. I don't give a fuck right now. To the ladies out there, you can move on way earlier than you think you should. And I say that because there's so much pressure for women to, like, hold on tight for something, for this, like, illusion of grief, of. Of anything, not even just a person passing, but like a grief of relationship whatever. Like, oh, if you move on too quickly, all of a sudden, that relationship meant nothing to you. It's like, no, it's just over. The same way men. Men will move on at the drop. Men will move on before the relationship end. So I just.

[Mecca]

Baby, your body don't even be cold. He got his dick in another bitch.

[Jamila]

Listen, the. The statistics of men leaving their wives when they're sick should tell us alone that. Hey, girls, it's okay. You know what I'm saying? Now, obviously, I don't know y' all's thing, right? Clearly, you know, whatever. Like, if we talk about Vanessa Bryant, obviously, Kobe dying on was one of those things where you weren't prepared, right? It's my wife. Her partner was sick.

[Mecca]

Her baby died with him.

[Jamila]

Right?

[Mecca]

That's.

[Jamila]

You know what I'm saying? So obviously, it's like. It's not one of those things where the partner was sick for a long time. You had time to kind of prepare yourself. No, that shit happened in the blink of a fucking eye. And she found out with us. You know what I'm saying? That's a lot. Her and her. Not her. Her husband and her child died in a helicopter crash. You know what I'm saying? Uh, yeah, I. I think my sister's gonna. Wait a minute, you know what I'm saying? Because. Not even just on some respect for her husband, but because she's grieving, and that's a lot. So I think that obviously that time is gonna be different than obviously, like a cardi B. Who. Her nigga was cheating on her so fucking much. So she said, fuck it. I'll. I'll move on when I'm pregnant.

[Mecca]

To your point, when. When they think. Because, you know what's happened now is people thought Vanessa Bryant Was pregnant, reacted horribly. I don't know. But that happened to Laura London sometime last year. They thought she was dating and n got disgusting like, okay, but are they not allowed to move on if they're ready? Because for all intents and purposes, both of these women were, like, around their. In their 30s when their partner passed. A good life is considered to your 80s. They're not supposed to get loved. They're not supposed to love ever again in the next 50 years.

[Jamila]

Yeah, they're not allowed. And I think that it's interesting because I remember watching Lauren London's one of her first interviews back with Angie Martinez, which I thought was a really, really good interview. I was really taken aback at just how stoic and, like, peaceful she comes across considering what she had dealt with. Right.

[Mecca]

And she's a little woo.

[Jamila]

Talking about, yeah, she's. She's very bad. Just kind of talking about her grieving process, but also talking about how she feels like, you know, these people are not ours to have forever. You know what I'm saying? You get someone, you experience them, and then life happens. And sometimes they have to. They're gonna leave at some point in some way, shape or form. And I think that a lot of people missed what she was saying and took it as, this is something that applies to everybody and you should never move on because it is like, no, no, no. I don't think that's necessarily what she was saying. I think that for her, she was saying, I. I have already experienced a true, pure love, and if I never get that again, I'm okay. And I think that that was a very fair something for her to process for her. But I don't think that that was necessarily saying that for women who lose a partner in that way or whatever, you should never move on. And I think that men. That really played into men's fantasy of women still in death being submissive to a man. And it's like, guys, y' all would not do this for women. Y' all just would not.

[Mecca]

I.

[Jamila]

It's very rare to see that unless y' all are super old in age and y' all don't give a no more. But if your wife dies at 30, them are getting a new at 30.

[Mecca]

And a half, which they're getting a new at 30.

[Jamila]

So it's like, I don't. I don't believe y' all. I don't believe that y' all. If that was Vanessa, God forbid, right? But if that was Vanessa and the rose were reversed, you think Kobe wouldn't have Already had a new bitch by now. That doesn't mean that he would have fallen in love. It doesn't mean that he would have been married by now. It doesn't mean anything other than he probably would have been on some new bitch. And that's. Let me be clear. That's not a bad thing. It's not wrong if somebody's dead.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jamila]

You know what I'm saying? Like, if you. What do you want me to do?

[Mecca]

He's processed your grief. I think it's fair if we know they're not coming back. Hello. I think I want to, you know, if. Even if you're not trying to be in love, because, like, what would Book say? I've been purely loved. I don't even need that again. Maybe I just want to feel a pulse. Maybe I just want to get my back beaten. Am I not allowed?

[Jamila]

I just wanted to cuddle. Maybe I just want to go on a date. I just want to laugh. I just wanted to feel something again. Like, we don't. A lot of us don't know what that's like to lose a partner. So it's like, I think that everybody be so excited to be like, ah.

[Mecca]

She better not know.

[Jamila]

Never. Move on, nigga. You want to be Kobe and his dick so bad.

[Mecca]

Move on.

[Jamila]

Now that I think about it, actually, it is about the man for men, because I think that had it been a man that they dislike or they are not really.

[Mecca]

Who's another man who passed away, though?

[Jamila]

I don't know. I mean, there's definitely plenty. But I'm trying to think of, like, a very clear example.

[Mecca]

Did Rich Homie Quan have a girlfriend?

[Jamila]

Now that's a great. So he did, however, a side chick as well. And that was funny because the side chick got in trouble because she posted so sad. So sad. And everybody said, bitch, now is not the time.

[Mecca]

Okay?

[Jamila]

And let's transition. Can I just say. So so now my question is, when is it appropriate for the side bitch to greet her niggas? That was her niggas, too.

[Mecca]

This is the thing. This is the thing. Back in the day, the side bitches.

[Jamila]

Had a bit of decorum about him.

[Mecca]

You know, my great grandfather had two families, and his side bitch came to the funeral in all black and sat.

[Jamila]

In the back and as you should.

[Mecca]

As you should. Ain't nobody saying, don't grieve. But hold on, bitch, hold on.

[Jamila]

You don't grieve that, man. She said, bitch, I want every. Cause she said, I. Everybody to know that that was my man. If I'm posting the day of. If we didn't know, if he didn't.

[Mecca]

Want you to know about it, but if he didn't want us to know about you in. In his life, then I think that you should respect his wishes in death.

[Jamila]

How fucking crazy is it, how embarrassing is it to, like, not have ever been able to be seen in public with a nigga? He died and, and then now you gotta grieve in. In, in. In private. That's an embarrassing. That's an embarrassing grief. That's why I kind of understand, like, bitch, I'm telling everybo.

[Mecca]

I feel like that's in the side chick bylaws, if they, if. If they die, you simply have to eat that.

[Jamila]

You gotta eat that.

[Mecca]

You just gotta eat like that.

[Jamila]

Damn. I know you hurting sister. That was really your.

[Mecca]

I don't think that side bitches don't have. I don't think that side bitches don't have feelings. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is in the side bitch bylaws, you have to know that you. That you gonna have to have that one more hurt in your bedroom because when you come out in public, everyone is going to boo you. And it's like, damn, my nigga just died. And they're throwing tomatoes at me and they're throwing.

[Jamila]

So it's like you're grieving because you're sad and it's like you're not. And now you're not. Even now that you might get disinvited to the funeral.

[Mecca]

You're grieving and everyone's jumping you, baby. Don't even say nothing.

[Jamila]

That's a hard life to live. And this is this, ladies, don't be a side chick. And if you're going to be a side chick, make sure you read thoroughly your bylaws and your NDA because they're thorough and you cannot be confused when things start playing out like they said they would.

[Mecca]

My thing is when side bitches, I'm not gonna hold you. And I'm just saying, based on what history has told us, there are some things you can do in this world and you can get away with. There's a lot of things you can do in this world and get away with, unfortunately, especially for women. One thing we have seen, baby, when you start playing side bitch and wrecking marriages, the greater public race, ethnicity, gender. I mean, across cultures, it don't matter. Babes, they're throwing bricks at you.

[Jamila]

They're coming they're throwing.

[Mecca]

Even though we know.

[Jamila]

Even though we know we know.

[Mecca]

It takes.

[Jamila]

He's guilty.

[Mecca]

I know what I'm saying. What I'm saying is if you've watched it played out this way multiple times, there's. I don't. Being a willing part. You know what I'm saying? Being a willing participant and being shocked at the outcome. I don't know what is two plus two babes and it's your life. Live it. Be the side. But I love when a side is like Elizabeth Taylor. I love side who lean into being the villain. No, let me. I'm so serious. What I hate is a side bitch who wanna like, don't woe is you, not woe is me. We're not gonna do that.

[Jamila]

Don't woe is me. You actively see, because let me be clear. There's a difference between you didn't know that nigga was with somebody and being a side bitch. Side bitches are intentional. These bitches go after these niggas. So if you're going to be a side bitch, you have to own it and you have to be a villain. You, I don't like a sad ass side bitch.

[Mecca]

Sad ass side bitch. That baby not like you even more.

[Jamila]

Bitch, please.

[Mecca]

Because if we're saying yes, it is in fact 50. 50. It takes two to tango. Then, mama, you have to own your 50, right?

[Jamila]

Mm.

[Mecca]

You have 50. You got half of it. You're not a victim, right? What I'm saying is when you have bitches like Elizabeth Taylor, like an Ariana Grande. Oh, bitch, I'm so sorry. That's so t. She don't give a fuck. Yeah, I took that nigga and I do it again. Took that white man from his wife and his child. And then I sang wicked.

[Jamila]

But see, if you're a homewrecker and you successfully break that home and build a new one, are you still a side chick.

[Mecca]

You will forever be the side chick.

[Jamila]

Huh?

[Mecca]

I do think I do. Because think about it. Elizabeth Taylor was the most famous.

[Jamila]

There are some side chicks who. Who want to remain a side chick. They don't want the responsibilities of being a man. I know this because I've heard them say it. So it's like if you're coming in swooping and trying to just take. Because I feel like those two, those are two different women. There's women who. I want to be the side bitch because I don't want the responsibility and I just want the benefits and da da da da. And I want to play my role and then there's who still and are successful with it. That's a new category of. Of. Of. Of winchness.

[Mecca]

You know, they love the hustle. They love the chase.

[Jamila]

It's the game.

[Mecca]

I mean, that's what. That's what ponytail be doing. That's like. That's a.

[Jamila]

And that's why those relationships don't last long, because it's like, ah, got you.

[Mecca]

She got you.

[Jamila]

What's.

[Mecca]

What's new?

[Jamila]

What's, what's. Who else got a. I said this.

[Mecca]

I said, at what point do we say, ariana, this is who you are. Are you going to be around me and my nigga? Absolutely the fuck not. But you know, we know. We know what type of time you on. I feel like the ladies. You has everyone taking notes. Everyone knows not to bring their men around. Okay, well, let her be who she is.

[Jamila]

Hello.

[Mecca]

What are we.

[Jamila]

What are we mad at? Put your nigga in lock and key.

[Mecca]

Lock them up.

[Jamila]

Okay. And lock them up.

[Mecca]

Let's take a step further. If you could take my nigga. He was never my nigga. He was never my nigger.

[Jamila]

And that and. And dare I say I. I'm the type of bitch to leave a nigga in a room with Ariana, let me see what you really bout.

[Mecca]

You want to fuck about unscathed, Unfucked. He might get fucked. She's really thorough. She like three for three. Your nigga might get fucked. Consider your nigga fucked.

[Jamila]

And it's like, okay, so till you ate that, you ate that. My bad, my bad, my bad. I was. I should have never doubted you. I should have never doubted. Doubted you. My bad.

[Mecca]

She gonna start singing sweet Nothing's in his ear. You know? She got a voice of an angel.

[Jamila]

And that's how she get these niggas. She's a siren.

[Mecca]

She's a siren. Some of the ladies are just like, tricking these niggas.

[Jamila]

These niggas are under hypnosis. And she just drops him when she's done. I live. I don't know.

[Mecca]

I don't know. I'm kind of a fan. But I know that could even get you fucked up in saying that. But what I'm saying is I like the girls who lean into it who are just like, it is what it is. Also when you people just unapologetically just.

[Jamila]

Themselves in whatever regard.

[Mecca]

Also the girlies who really be falling so deep in love as a side bitch. You're stupid. You're not. You're no fun.

[Jamila]

Listen. And it's always funny because it's like, girl.

[Mecca]

Savannah, Savannah, please.

[Jamila]

Savannah, slow down.

[Mecca]

Slow down.

[Jamila]

Hello? Like, girl, that man is not leaving his kids.

[Mecca]

Oh my God. He told me he was wrong.

[Jamila]

He's not leaving that lady until she gets cancer. Then that's your chance.

[Mecca]

She's not wrong. He will divorce her immediately. Then as soon, as soon as she.

[Jamila]

Get that cancer, as soon as chemo starts, that's your in. And that's what the side chicks hope. The side chicks are in it for the long game. They're in it for the long haul. They're just in it until that bitch gets cancer and that nigga leaves that wife and kids and be with her for two more weeks until he get tired of your ass and find a new bitch.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take a break.

[Jamila]

Excuses, excuses. When was the last time you needed to go to the doctor but you tried to push it off? Maybe it was because you were too busy or you thought you didn't need help, or you don't know which doctor to go to. Well, I think we've all been there and booking a doctor appointment can feel very daunting. But thanks to ZOC Doc, there's no reason to delay. They make it easy to find and book a doctor who's just right for you.

[Mecca]

I'm here to tell you you don't have to settle anymore. When it comes to finding the right doctor with zocdoc, you've got options.

[Jamila]

Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. You can filter for doctors who take insurance, are located nearby, and are a good fit for any medical needs you have, and are highly rated by verified patients.

[Mecca]

Once you find the right doctor, you can see their your actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click to instantly book a visit.

[Jamila]

Appointments made through Zocdoc also happen fast, typically within 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score a same day appointment.

[Mecca]

I first learned about ZocDoc when I was working my corporate job. If I had needed this product, it's what I'd use. You can use it to find everything from a dentist to a primary care doctor to to an optometrist.

[Jamila]

Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com unhinged to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today.

[Mecca]

That's z o c-o c.com unhinged zocdoc.com unhinged.

[Jamila]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of, of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for.

[Mecca]

3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month Required intro rate first 3 months.

[Jamila]

Only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[Mecca]

See full [e-mail].

[Jamila]

And we're back.

[Mecca]

Going to these networking events and stuff. Something I love is finding out t about like not people you know, but like people you've like, oh, I met her at this, I met them at that. I met this da da da. And I have recently found out. I mean I've seen it in movies my whole life, but women who are very, very busy be fucking married men. Oh, that's like a thing. But it comes from the like, I'm busy. I don't really want a nigga, do you? And that's. And that.

[Jamila]

Just take yours real quick.

[Mecca]

Just real quick. I don't want to keep, I don't want to keep them. Do you get. I don't want to keep them. I'm going to give them back. I just need to get my back beat in relatively quickly. I need to get, I need to jet set and get back on this plane. Like married people be fucking and then the thing they be married to, girl, married people be fucking. Just know that. Just know that married people be fucking and not they spouse.

[Jamila]

Well, clearly, because here we have offset. And so to answer the other question of when is too soon to or when is it okay to move on now that we've talked about if your partner has died, let's talk about if that nigga just wasn't shit. You get pregnant and on the day of the day you decide you're done with that baby in her belly, have.

[Mecca]

His baby in your belly and say, actually I'm over. I'm so sorry. Cardi ate that. She ate that bad.

[Jamila]

I hate.

[Mecca]

The only thing I hate is that there's no prenup and that nigga is able to possibly get money out of her. That's the only thing I hate about this, which he is because he's spiteful and she's embarrassed him and you know.

[Jamila]

And ladies, let this be your sign again. I'm always going to advocate for prenup. Actually I think that both parties should sign a prenup every marriage. I don't care if you think you only got two nickels to rub. Everybody should be signing a prenup. I don't give a mother fuck. These marriages are not the same marriages from 1930. Divorce is possible, and I am a staunch believer in divorce. If you get on my goddamn nerves as my husband, I will divorce you.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

Bet my bottom dollar. Listen, I don't want to, but I will.

[Mecca]

I mean, it comes. It gets to a point.

[Jamila]

It gets to a point.

[Mecca]

It gets to a point. People always want to stay together for the kids. And then you find yourself, like, Drew and Ralph, like, he's living in the basement. And your kids and you're crying on camera because your mom is telling you your kids are acting different and they acting up because your home life is chaotic and they're no longer stable.

[Jamila]

It's just too much.

[Mecca]

It's too much. Get a divorce.

[Jamila]

Get a divorce today and not tomorrow.

[Mecca]

Cardi taking a picture, but ass naked in that fur that Stephan wore to the Met gala.

[Jamila]

And let me just say, if she is not using this amazing PR moment as her album pre rollout, she's crazy. Because obviously there's this luring question over Cardi's head of, when is the second album? When is the second album? And for years, right, we've been chasing this. And I think there were definitely so many points and moments where she could have dropped. But, you know, for whatever reason, whether that be fear, the anxiety, or shit going on at home, we haven't gotten it at Cardi B, if you're listening to me now, you need to drop that album within the next two months. And it needs to be revolved around the breakup of your nigga. I did make a tweet. I said, yeah, Cardi B is about to drop her lemonade. It's going to be called Orchard. But no, seriously, Cardi has such a great opportunity PR wise, because all eyes are on her. But also, we're having this conversation of what to do when your nigga has finally fucked up. Because we have watched Cardi B get cheated on multiple times and take that nigga back. And now she's finally moved on. So much so that she's posting the new nigga wrapped up in his fur, but butter all butterballed naked.

[Mecca]

Can I be honest? The new nigga's t. The new nigga's fine now. This is. This is. And I feel like this is what has me weak. You know, he also has a two month old. Hey. And so people are like, oh, he Got a two month old. I said, well, in this case, she can't talk too much.

[Jamila]

And I was gonna say, well, she.

[Mecca]

She also has a very fresh newborn, so I feel like there are a lot of.

[Jamila]

Yeah, I've seen a few people saying, like, oh, my gosh, no, Cardi, like, he's ran through too. He's not shitty either. I think y' all are missing it. I highly doubt that Cardi B is in love with this. Y' all are missing the party. B is. Is getting her off. She's getting a couple of nuts and.

[Mecca]

She'S why you have to fall in love with every. It's not about that. With. Come on, y' all.

[Jamila]

You've been in a situation having a blast.

[Mecca]

And actually, that's your problem. You try and fall in love with your situationship, and now you've been in the situation for five years, begging the to make you his girlfriend. And. Okay, hello. Hello.

[Jamila]

And listen to me, okay, listen to me. Okay. The first you get after your relationship is 100 gonna not gonna be your new. That is gonna be the nigga you fucked to be like, okay, yeah, I'm over. Let me go ahead and fuck something else. Let me go ahead and keep going.

[Mecca]

9 times out of 10, 9 times out of 10 when you end up with the rebound nigga, it does not go well.

[Jamila]

It actually is disgusting. I will say, oh, my God.

[Mecca]

Everyone I know who. Who got cuffed up by their exact rebound did not go well. Maybe. And I know in the comments. I know the comments well. I married my rebound.

[Jamila]

Okay, shut up.

[Mecca]

We enjoy the 10%. You're so lucky you're God's favorite. We love you. Yay. That is not how it's gonna go for you, though, okay?

[Jamila]

That rebound is never gonna be nothing but that. Y' all thinking that Cardi B is really with this nigga and like, that's her nigga. Nigga, you're a dummy. Dummy. That is the nigga that she is using to get her rocks off, have a good fudgeing time with, have fun. Forget about fucking offset and piss this nigga off so that he can really realize he fudged up. And trust me, he's seething right now.

[Mecca]

No, I'm not going to hold you. You know who's rebound nigga? I at least, even if they're not in love, I don't believe they're in love, but I love the illusion. Teyana Taylor and Aaron Pierre.

[Jamila]

Oh, yeah.

[Mecca]

I'm loving the illusion that they're in love. Like, this is Beautiful.

[Jamila]

Yes.

[Mecca]

I would like to see a tape and see.

[Jamila]

I think also the reason that that kind of felt a little bit more or a little less rebound ish is because there was so much distance, because their divorce started way longer than or way earlier than we anticipated. Because, you know, she went under pseudo names and things like that. So by the time we found out about everything, it had already been in the works. So I'm pretty sure she had her a few in the meantime between time, which we didn't hear about. And that way she could just pop in, hello, hello, you know? So then when she popped out, it was like, ah. And I don't care if it's a PR relationship or not. It is. Remember what I tell you guys. And this is my, again, a lesson in pr. If you think it's a PR relationship, it is. That doesn't mean that they don't like each other. That doesn't mean that they're not in love. It just means what it means.

[Mecca]

Just like the PR relationship. Let me tell you guys something about the studio system. This is one of my special interests. A lot of the time when people would be slaves to the studio system, they would be on them lots all damn day, right? You had Mickey Rooney, you had Ava Gardner, all these people, they were constantly seeing each other, right? So they would develop, like, crushes and, you know, friendships and, you know, let's just say I have a crush on this guy. And one of the studio execs sees us talking like we have a crush on each other, and he goes, yes. So that now gives us the opportunity to actually get to know, like, they BPR relationships. But they could be actually taking that time to get to know each other and actually enjoying the time. Like the PR diss. Does it mean it's forced?

[Jamila]

It just means that it's mutually beneficial.

[Mecca]

Yes, it just means that it's mutually beneficial.

[Jamila]

Both parties and teams are like, okay, y' all are.

[Mecca]

Let me tell you something. When it works not well, when the stars are in relationships that are not PR friendly, their teams, even if they don't listen, their teams will definitely be like, not a good look.

[Jamila]

Yeah, hate it.

[Mecca]

Like, the PR ness is like, oh, it's a good look. So you could pick technically your pr like, I'll talk to this nigga at the club. I get his number. I'm like, this a good look for me. He like, it's a good look for me. I think. I think Aaron, PR and Teyana. And half the time, these relationships could fall under being PR because When they pop out together, it's most of the time mutually beneficial. When it's not, it's talked shit about. Like, when it's not, it's like, why the fuck are you with that nigga?

[Jamila]

It won't make sense. Yeah, you'll be like, okay. Like, even with Cardi and Stephan, it's definitely. That's why I said it's definitely giving pr. But not in the same stunt type. Like, I think sometimes when people hear PR relationship, they. They hear and automatically go to PR Stunt. This is fake, fake, fake. And it's like, no, that's not really how that works sometimes. Right. There are those situations where it's like, this is complete, like, 100% PR. This is. There's no feelings involved. But you don't see that as much anymore because it's a little bit more tricky to pull off with as much exposure as celebrities have now.

[Mecca]

But actual stunt.

[Jamila]

Um, because even back in the more recent years.

[Mecca]

Yeah. Who do you think?

[Jamila]

Who do you think? I still am not drinking the Kool Aid of Taylor Swift and that football player.

[Mecca]

Wow. You think they're a stunt?

[Jamila]

I think they're a stunt. Who. Who worked? And then maybe they. They. They started liking each other after. But in the. The immediate. Please.

[Mecca]

You know what that is?

[Jamila]

That was old school American propaganda.

[Mecca]

Yeah, no, no. Same thing with.

[Jamila]

Get out of here, bro.

[Mecca]

Same thing with Elizabeth Taylor and Nikki Hilton. She had done a movie about being getting married. Like, she got married on the studio a lot. They made a part of her PR press run. She did really like him, but it was definitely, he's the Hilton heir and you're Elizabeth Taylor.

[Jamila]

Like, duh.

[Mecca]

And it was rushed and she was saying, you know, she did love him, but it was kind of one of those things where it's like, oh, I had no. Like, it was not the love like I experienced later in my life. Like, I was just naive. And that's kind of what that reminds me of in terms of us wanting to push good old American white picket fence dream. And then they end up kind of liking each other. Hopefully Travis Kelce is not a drunk and beating Taylor Swift's ass because that's what Nikki Hilton was doing to Elizabeth Taylor. But, you know, same same vibe, same energy. America's sweetheart and some halfway attractive, rich white man with a name.

[Jamila]

Yeah, it's just like, okay, sure.

[Mecca]

I also think the added racial tension of him being so known for dating a black woman and us entering, like, another round of MAGA America, that was definitely prop propaganda.

[Jamila]

It was all, it all played into exactly what they needed it to play into. The conversations, the, the, the presence of the press in every waking possible moment they've ever done. Those are clear indicators of pure. Because if celebrities don't want to be seen, let me tell you something. They won't.

[Mecca]

Let me tell you something.

[Jamila]

It's very rare that you see Beyonce and Jay Z out on dates and out in the wild.

[Mecca]

And they be wild. That's what be happening.

[Jamila]

You think they're not going out and having fun? You think they're not dating?

[Mecca]

Let me tell you something.

[Jamila]

Listen to me.

[Mecca]

The one thing this book has taught me that bitch, Beyonce, be in the wild. You'll just never know about it.

[Jamila]

To me now, when I say celebrities in this regard, I do mean higher profile. Obviously you're lower end tier celebrities. And this is not shade. It just is what it is. Yeah. Yes. They can kind of maneuver a little bit differently because there's not as much eyes and press. But we're talking about those high profile, a list celebrities. They do not want to be seen. Bitch. They won't be. I promise you that.

[Mecca]

They won't.

[Jamila]

I promise you that. So if you see them every date.

[Mecca]

Because even the thing about it is, you know, Kim Kardashian was known for calling the pops on herself back in the day. But even when she really want to do something, you don't know Kim every move. All them damn babies walking around Calabasas. We don't see them damn babies in pictures. We did now when they had the E. Show on and they were still in their paparazzi. But now I have. It's funny watching the Kardashians transition with them kids because you can tell the kids are old enough now that the kids have their own ident. They have absolutely as a unit pulled back. We do not see them children as much as we used to see when they was babies. They do not be outside. But to think that them kids don't be doing normal kids stuff is crazy. Them kids be outside.

[Jamila]

So yeah, so do, do do with that information, which I will. But listen, you know, but that's the thing. And that's why I enjoy the idea of celebrity. Right. As a cultural phenomenon. We are separating the idea of celebrity as an adjective and as a noun.

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jamila]

Like people are now just celebrities noun and not celebrity adjective. And we need to get back into the adjective because because of social media there's been this like almost breaking the fourth wall with celebrities. We are so exposed to them and so it's blurring. The lines, like. And it's not that it's a bad thing. I think it's actually really dope that we're able to kind of engage with celebrities, especially, like, as a. As a fan. When you allow those fans into that life, like, even something as simple as, you know, Lizzo posting her freestyle and people commenting and then her responding or liking comments like that is kind of bridging that gap and kind of building community with your fan base, which is cool. But because of that, it has kind of blurred the lines of celebrity. And I think that people get so disillusioned, and now everything is weird to them. It's like, guys, you have to understand that being a celebrity is a job. It's a specific career field. And a part of that is really based off of branding yourself and the PR of it all. This is my thesis statement. Bring back PR stunts. Fuck, I miss them.

[Mecca]

Let me tell you something.

[Jamila]

Where are the PR stunts?

[Mecca]

Can I tell you something as we talk about celebrity? Because, you know, again, old Hollywood, that era in time is niche interest, influencer. Influencers today are much similar to the celebutantes and the socialites that ran in scenes like New York and the early Hollywood, where it's like, no, babes. I'm not an actress. I'm just known for looking pretty and showing up. And the bitches. I just know all of them. I just know all of them. And the bitches hate me for no reason. Like, you can absolutely, like, people act like influencing is this foreign concept. It's like, just crack a fucking book open.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

And ask yourself who the fuck Gloria Vanderbilt was before she started making jeans and gave birth to Anderson Cooper.

[Jamila]

Hello.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying? She's a Vanderbilt. Paris Hill. Like, all these things, like, this is not a new concept of celebrity. And those are the girls who created the stunt because they weren't actually in movies. It wasn't really the actresses. It wasn't the singers who created the PR stunt. It was the socialites. It was the girls who were famous for being famous because they simply had to stay famous. Next week, I might come with my list of my favorite socialites over the years. Simply just known for being a girly.

[Jamila]

Yes.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jamila]

We'll let y' all kick it off. Maybe y' all can start in the comments. Who is your favorite socialite and what's your favorite PR stunt moment? Can I just say that there was something so decadent about the early 2000s, when everybody would walk out of that fucking car with their pussy out. Wow. I have their leg.

[Mecca]

Yo, let me tell you something. I haven't seen Lindsay Lopez in a minute.

[Jamila]

Wow.

[Mecca]

You know? Wow.

[Jamila]

The girls aren't. The girls keep wearing panties. And back in. Back in my day, the girls used to get out pussy first.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I used to see them lips back in the day.

[Jamila]

You did? I haven't seen lips in a while. And the girls, it's like, I get it. You know, it's just like, no, guys, like, we're losing recipes. We're straying so far from our cultural roots. The bitches aren't pulling titties out and kissing bitches for no reason. What's going. Where are all the fake lesbians? It's pride month.

[Mecca]

I'm here.

[Jamila]

It's my time to speak.

[Mecca]

How dedicated are bitches? Did you actually play the role? Because I did.

[Jamila]

Did you kiss a bitch?

[Mecca]

Quote my question. Did I? I would have to remember.

[Jamila]

You would remember if you kiss the bitch now.

[Mecca]

No, no. I definitely do feel like I've kissed a girl before. Not when I was.

[Jamila]

I kissed a girl before.

[Mecca]

I feel like it happened in college though. On some drunk shit. Playing one of them games though.

[Jamila]

And that's when I knew I was.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jamila]

I said, well, that did.

[Mecca]

Fair enough.

[Jamila]

But it was, it was, you know, I just, I feel like. Are you really?

[Mecca]

Like, I definitely made out with my gay homeboy during one of those games.

[Jamila]

And Kousi was like, now that is the most stud thing you've ever done.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take a break. This episode is brought to you by Greenlight. Get this. Adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes. Us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight, you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treat start prioritizing their financial education and future. Today with a risk free [e-mail] Spotify greenlight.com Spotify.

[Jamila]

And Rebecca, I. I have.

[Mecca]

Definitely made out with a femme with one of the girls. And I mean tongue.

[Jamila]

Like what the fuck?

[Mecca]

My best friend was so mad like, bitch, stop. I don't know. I don't know. I'm feeling. I'm in my dom. I'm like, I'm taking this nigga down right now. I'd be gay.

[Jamila]

Okay.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

You know, I think that what I remember Are the girls and guys. Well, I don't know if the guys were playing this, but are the girls still, like, having really elusively gay sleepovers? Like, is it. Are the girls doing that? Are you guys still doing that? Like, what age does the gay stop? You know what I'm saying? The fake gay. I mean, you know, when you're, you know, you just have those explorative years where maybe you feel abreast. Maybe you kiss a girl in the closet.

[Mecca]

Just thinking about it, I've definitely felt a boob. This is. This. I don't even think this falls under gay. I think this just.

[Jamila]

I'll touch a boob.

[Mecca]

Falls under. I've touched a boob. I've also.

[Jamila]

Actually, I just grabbed male cities.

[Mecca]

You did?

[Jamila]

I did.

[Mecca]

I grabbed them in middle school. My best friend, we were getting dressed at her house and we were getting ready to go swimming. Cause California, her coochie hair was so different from mine. Like, I. I do have a bit of a Japanese vibe. Like, it's very straight and hers was like the little swirly. And I just remember being like, what the fuck?

[Jamila]

You know, it's funny because I was just having this conversation. Nothing like my Kuchi man with my best friend Dwight. I was like, you know, it's so funny because girls are so open and boys are so not. And like, I get it, I get it. But it's just like, y' all never just walk, Walk by your home. We were like, damn, nigga, that dick got big. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Mecca]

Like, I definitely remember stopping and putting, like.

[Jamila]

And then it was, we really, like, we will analyze each other's bodies. I've seen my friends, everything. Everything. I've seen it. And it's just like, you know what I'm saying? Like, we. We will literally walk by our girlfriend to me like, oh, my gosh, your boobs got so big. Let me see them. Like, damn, bitch, you got some big ass areolas.

[Mecca]

Or. You know what I'm saying? Like, what was the meme of Phaedra?

[Jamila]

Yeah, just like. Yeah, I don't know. Like, sometimes I just be wanting the boys to act like girls. I don't know why. It just, it would tickle my fancy. It would just tickle my fancy if you guys would just be like, I ain't gonna lie. My nigga got a fat ass. You know what I'm saying?

[Mecca]

Like, yeah, sometimes niggas be having fat asses. And I like that.

[Jamila]

What's that? It's like this old audio. I Don't know where it's from, but I heard it on TikTok and it was, I have a girl whose pussy is so tight. Have y' all heard that audio on TikTok? I was like, yo, where the fuck is this from?

[Mecca]

It's so funny.

[Jamila]

It's like an old school lady's. Like, I have a girl. Like, I tell you. Oh, you what you want? I got different flavors. I could. I could tell you, like, what, What. What type of whatever do you want? I can tell you, like, I don't know, like, it's pride month. If you haven't been a little fake gay yet, now's your chance.

[Mecca]

Tap into it.

[Jamila]

I know the gays hate fake gays, so be careful, you might get jumped. You know they hate fake gay ass. Bitches so hate a fake gay. And it's like, no shade. If you are over the age of 21, it's kind of too late to be fake gay anyway. You kind of missed your beat. That's kind of like a. Like, girl, don't be fake gay now. Like, because now it's like, if you're fake gay, you have to be real gay. You're grown. Don't you know you have to fully commit? So then you're gonna have to. You know, I got away with.

[Mecca]

I got away with my quote, unquote, fake gay face because I wasn't doing anything with anyone. I was. You know, I just talked to my homegirl about this because she was like, first of all, she knew me when I was a stud. So she was like, you know what's crazy? You were dressed like a boy, but it wasn't like, you weren't like a sexual being. You were just like, pat. Like, how you're like, pat. Like, like, it's the way that people who knew me in real life saw that video and was like, oh, my God, you did used to dress like a nigga. We completely forgot about that. And I think it's because, like, not to sound old and decrepit, but kids are so sexualized by the Internet nowadays. And so even when I was, like, in full on stud gear, I was not on nothing. Like, I took joy in watching YouTube videos and making up dances with my friends, so no one necessarily connected the dots right there. Do you get what I'm saying? That it was giving legs.

[Jamila]

It was just giving away a little.

[Mecca]

Boy just having fun, running around. And I was saying, I said, honestly, probably if I had stayed like that when I was grown, I probably would have went that way. But it Just, you know, the way it happened. I wasn't on. I wasn't on none of that. So the cars felt that way. But I was really thinking about that. I said, damn. After she said that, I said, damn. People who knew me didn't even draw that because I was so, like just a kid, Mecca. You know what I'm saying? I was really just a kid. I don't think that I was just a kid.

[Jamila]

I don't think if you would have continued to dress like that, you would have just so happened to fall into some gay. I don't think that's how that works.

[Mecca]

But I would just fell into some poo.

[Jamila]

I would have just probably just like one day. Like. No, I don't know if.

[Mecca]

No, because I'm saying I had crushes on girls. And I had. But I had. The way I even approached crushes, I wouldn't have approached it either with a girl or a boy like that at all. Cause I wasn't on that.

[Jamila]

Right. Cause you're not gay.

[Mecca]

Do you get what I'm saying? No, I definitely had crushes on girls at that point in time.

[Jamila]

Then be gay today.

[Mecca]

What did Devin say?

[Jamila]

Why are we playing these games then, bitch? Be gay.

[Mecca]

Be gay. See, I don't want to be gay now.

[Jamila]

Cause you're not.

[Mecca]

Because then I. Cause I feel like I'll be fake gay.

[Jamila]

Cause you're not gay, Mecca. What the fuck?

[Mecca]

Maybe I'm not like, why are you sexuality.

[Jamila]

Why are you being confused right now? It's too fucking way to be confused, bitch. You had a. You not gay.

[Mecca]

You're straight. Can I tell you something? I was talking to this girl after my breakup and then she transitioned. This is a true story. And after that happened, I was like, maybe I'm just supposed to be with men because this is dead as a true story. We're still cool. I want to say his name, but you know, shout out to you. And I took that as my sign from God. Seriously, you know this story? Please stop acting like you don't know this.

[Jamila]

I don't know this. Yes, you do.

[Mecca]

Yes, you do. When the fuck have you ever told.

[Jamila]

Me that you talked to a girl? And when. When you say talk, you wasn't licking no coochie, so don't even lie.

[Mecca]

No, I. I wasn't.

[Jamila]

You was just over there kikiing with a bitch. That was your friend. You went finna lick no puss.

[Mecca]

You know. You wanna hear what's crazy?

[Jamila]

You was gonna be a touch me now. You was gonna let her lick You?

[Mecca]

I absolutely was.

[Jamila]

I hate a fake gay bitch. This is why the gays hate fake gay bitches.

[Mecca]

Like, girl, I absolutely was. But what? No. What dead ass ended up happening was he told me he was in the process of transitioning, and I was like, oh, my God. So t. And then, you know the thing about Les, the line between fucking with each other and then being best friends? Definitely. Like, I was trying to be supportive, and then it just didn't happen.

[Jamila]

Where did you meet this lesbian turned.

[Mecca]

Green turtle turned trans man? At Towson uptown. I have him on Instagram.

[Jamila]

And so what did y' all talk about? Were you. Were you trying to talk? Were you trying to flirt?

[Mecca]

No, I. Wait, what do you mean? I went on. I went on dates, bitch.

[Jamila]

Do you know what flirt mean?

[Mecca]

Yeah. What do you do on a date?

[Jamila]

So I asked, were you talking about the bitch? Did you kiss?

[Mecca]

I was flirting. I was flirting.

[Jamila]

Did you kiss?

[Mecca]

No.

[Jamila]

Fake gay. Get out of here.

[Mecca]

Mecca.

[Jamila]

You went on dates and didn't even kiss?

[Mecca]

Because I feel like the mask is supposed to kiss you first.

[Jamila]

Mecca is. I will say enough if I get not enough. Enough. I've had enough of your shenanigans.

[Mecca]

I'm coming from day in, boys, so I definitely was waiting for him to leave.

[Jamila]

Please, please, please. You're not gay.

[Mecca]

Shut up.

[Jamila]

Shut up. I don't know what type of come out story this is you're trying to have right now, but you're straight.

[Mecca]

It's just an easy nast bet.

[Jamila]

You're not.

[Mecca]

If my arc happens, it happens.

[Jamila]

You're straight.

[Mecca]

I'm okay with that too, but I like to dibble and dabble from time.

[Jamila]

What did you dibble? You didn't even kiss the bitch. And you went on more than one day and you didn't kiss the bitch. You didn't even touch her.

[Mecca]

I don't. I don't kiss n on the. Wait, hold on.

[Jamila]

That's what I'm saying.

[Mecca]

I don't kiss n on the first date. Hold on. First date?

[Jamila]

Do you kiss the niggas on.

[Mecca]

I kiss n when kiss me and Lena for the kiss. And typically, as a strict ass bitch. Niggas don't do that. I've talked about this. Niggas do not be trying to tongue me down the first date. And if they do, I, I, I treat. I treated that how I date everybody. I'm not kissing nobody on the first motherfucking date.

[Jamila]

How many dates did you have with this? With this person?

[Mecca]

We went on. Well, it wasn't really a Date. Cause it was kind of in the pandemic. So we went on probably three, and then we was talking, and then again, he told me he was transitioning. So then we just started hanging out. He's met Cousy.

[Jamila]

What does that have to do with you not being gay?

[Mecca]

I don't know. That was to help to my. Like, this transitioned into a friendship. Like, I don't know. It did the thing where it's like, I don't think we're dating anymore. I think we're just homies.

[Jamila]

Y' all were not dating Mecca. Get out of here.

[Mecca]

I matched him on fucking hinge.

[Jamila]

That doesn't mean y' all were dating Mecca. That means that you were trying. You said, let me see if I could be gay real quick. And you said, I ain't fucking gay. I ain't fucking gay.

[Mecca]

No, that's what happened. But I took that as like, you finna transition, so if I fuck with you, I'm finna be fucking with a man. I'm not gay. That's my sign. Anyway. Let's spin it. I'm over this conversation. Bitches be trying to. Everybody's down to say sexuality, a spectrum till it's time to be an actual spectrum.

[Jamila]

It can be a spectrum if you was actually kissing bitches, but you're not, so you didn't even try it, bitch.

[Mecca]

Like, what are we talking about now? I want to know. What, What, What? What.

[Jamila]

What date you be kissing? I kiss a nigga on the first date. Yeah. If I'm feeling it, I'll kiss a nigga on the first date. If I'm not, then I won't.

[Mecca]

Okay, I don't. I don't do that. That's nice.

[Jamila]

I'm having a after Covid. What does covet have to do with any.

[Mecca]

That's when I stopped kissing.

[Jamila]

We're gonna take a break.

[Mecca]

This episode is brought to you by Pluto tv. Summer of cinema is here, and Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies.

[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

All right, y' all, let's get into a spin it Happy pride.

[Mecca]

Sexuality is a spectrum. If you have a letter that you want to send to us to help with your salacious, your messy lowdown situation, send it to nhingedanimoralmail. Dot Com. Oh nhinged anymore Podmail dot com. Don't forget to send your race, your ages and your gender because that is definitely going to determine how we PR Spin it. Jamila. What do we have?

[Jamila]

Hi ladies. Love the show. I'll get straight to it. I have a friend, Tatiana, who I fell out with for five years. We reconnected a year ago and have been working on rebuilding our friendship. She introduced me to her gay friend Alex, and we have been a great friend trio since. Tatiana has been sleeping with this guy Louis for seven years now. And he's a swinger and isn't interested in a relationship with her. So they have just fooled around this whole time with nothing serious ever happening. I've never seen Louis as anything more than a friend acquaintance. I went to a party with them and Tatiana walked. Walked a friend to their Uber and Lewis came over and started dancing with me. It wasn't anything serious, but I noticed Alex recording us. I asked him if what I did was a problem and then he said, no, they're not even serious. Fuck it. Fast forward to two days later. I got a call from Tatiana saying Alex told me I was wrong for dancing with Lewis and how he, Alex was so shocked that I had not reached out to her yet. Me and Tatiana ironed everything out, thankfully. But it left a really bad feeling in my spirit with how Alex moved. How should I move forward with our friendship? Am I wrong for dancing with Lewis? It's important that we know we're all 36 to 37 years old. Oh, girl, you should have started with that.

[Mecca]

You should have started with that. And Alex needs to get his ass whooped. This is my question though. Lewis is a swinger.

[Jamila]

Are you asking?

[Mecca]

Oh, yes, I was asking.

[Jamila]

Sorry. I'm literally sitting here trying to think. Let me do a little quick recap because it was a little confusing. So. Okay, so the girl who's writing this, she didn't give her. She didn't give herself a name. So let's give her the name of Andrea.

[Mecca]

I was gonna say Leslie cause it's Pride and Les.

[Jamila]

I don't think she's gay.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jamila]

So I don't know how.

[Mecca]

I just wanted to do a thing.

[Jamila]

Anyways. We have an Andrea.

[Mecca]

The word Riz was on my brand.

[Jamila]

We have an Andrea. That's too much. Okay.

[Mecca]

Fez would be easier, but okay.

[Jamila]

Her friend is Tatiana.

[Mecca]

Okay. Okay.

[Jamila]

And they fell out for about five years and just recently reconnected. Okay. So now they're friends. They wasn't friends, but they back friends. Okay, okay. Tatiana has a gay friend, Alex, and they became a little trio. So Tatiana, Andrea, and Alex, they was all cool. Tatiana started sleeping with Lewis for about seven years. Now you. I don't think I read that right.

[Mecca]

I didn't hear that. That is why I said, wait. Lewis is a swinger, though. That's why it's not that serious. Because I was like, this is Tatiana, long term, who is a swinger. And then she was dancing with him. But the fact that they damn near 40 is just gonna piss. I thought, these women, this is stupid. Okay, keep going. Sorry.

[Jamila]

So they've been fucking for seven years. Cause Louis is a swinger and he ain't never gonna settle down with nobody. Clearly, they all went to a party. Tatiana went to walk her friend to the Uber. And in the meantime, between time you started backing that thing up on Lewis, Whether or not Lewis was a swinger, what does that have to do with you dancing on your friend's nigga? That's.

[Mecca]

Okay, that's.

[Jamila]

Wait, hold on.

[Mecca]

Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Alex pulled his phone out, said, I got your number, bitch.

[Jamila]

Yeah. Okay.

[Mecca]

Ho. Okay. You went up to Alexx and said, was there a problem? He said, no, he kept it cute.

[Jamila]

And see, that's why I'm like, actually, sister, it's giving. You're kind of weird. No shade. Because the fact that you got mad at Alex for recording. Now, is Alex wrong for recording. That can be a conversation in part two. But the fact that you got mad at him recording and for telling lets me know that you felt like you were doing something that you shouldn't have been doing.

[Mecca]

No, because people don't say she got mad. No, I don't think she got mad because, look, Alex was recording. She asked Alex was it an issue. Alex said no. The reason she felt away is because Alex went ahead and showed Tatiana, his friend, who he'd been friends with longer than you, obviously. And Alex told Tatianna directly he felt away about it. But I think her issue is she asked Alex, right?

[Jamila]

Then why are you asking Alex?

[Mecca]

But I think her. No, I get what you're saying. I think her issue is she asked Alex did she do something wrong. He said no, but then he told Tatianna that that bitch is fucked up.

[Jamila]

I think it's obvious that Alex is messy. Who is it?

[Mecca]

No, I was gonna say Alex is for sure messy. I don't know. I think the mess is a bit justified here.

[Jamila]

Yeah, it's just like, yeah, Alex is messy.

[Mecca]

Y.

[Jamila]

We're going to get to Alex in a second. Alex is messy. Okay, cool.

[Mecca]

Tatiana didn't care, though. That's the thing. She just feels a way about.

[Jamila]

No, no, no, no. Tatiana cared.

[Mecca]

No, I thought she said she didn't.

[Jamila]

They talked it out, but they did care.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jamila]

Because she said that they ironed it out. So if there was nothing to iron out, then I feel like she wouldn't have cared to begin with. But it was clearly something that they had to at least talk about. And they probably. It probably was like, oh, it's not that deep. D d But they had to iron something out.

[Mecca]

But I'm saying this is ending with she has a bad taste in her mouth behind Alex. And now being that she don't want to be a trio with Alex. That's what I took from that.

[Jamila]

Yes. She's saying I had a really bad feeling in my spirit about how Alex moved. Should I move on from our friendship and am I wrong for dancing with Lewis? So let's answer them questions.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jamila]

Are you wrong for dancing with Lewis?

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

Because if y' all had not already had that. That relationship where. You know what I'm saying, clearly your nigga's a swinger, and I don't bitch, I want to dance with him. If that was not already, like, kind of an established thing, then you kind of. And I'm not saying you did this intentionally. I'm just saying what happened. You waiting till your friend went to go walk her friend out to Uber to dance on her nigga. Like I said, you very.

[Mecca]

At the least, how it looks, right?

[Jamila]

Just the pure.

[Mecca]

At the very least, how the optics.

[Jamila]

Are really bad because you putting in here that Lewis is a swinger because you're wanting to give us context so that you don't feel bad. And what I'm telling you is whether he's a swinger or not doesn't. It shouldn't matter to you because at the end of the day, that's your friend's nigga. Now, if your friend. If your friend was right there and you started dancing on him, who gives a fuck, right? Cause this is like, okay, well, we clearly all swinging at this point. Everybody's just loosey goosey dicks all around, right? But your friend wasn't there. That's clearly why she's been fucking on for seven years. Whether he's a swinger or not, that has no bearing to you dancing on your friend's nigga. That's my. That's my personal opinion.

[Mecca]

That's how I would feel about it, him being a swinger you should still move like, that's your friend's nigga. Let another bitch dance on your friend's swinger, nigga.

[Jamila]

Also, I'm thinking to myself, like, okay, and if Tatiana came back, you stopped dancing on him. Because if you didn't, this would never be a conversation because there would never have been a video to show, right? So it's like, okay, you stop. You saw Alex recording. Your mind said, oh, is this wrong? You know that didn't make sense. You know it didn't, right? You wanted. You wanted out. You wanted. You wanted us to answer these questions. I'm answering your question.

[Mecca]

Okay, now the second part. You approaching Alex, Alex saying he was surprised you didn't already tell Tatiana. Makes sense. Cause I can see where he assumed, oh, this bitch saw me recording. She finna. She finna say something before I can even show it, right? I think that would definitely prove that maybe you thought. You didn't think you did something wrong because some. Someone with a guilty conscience or someone who felt like they were in the wrong would have told Tatiana. Do you get what I'm saying? So that's what I'm saying. I think it's clear that she doesn't think. She doesn't really think she did anything out of pocket because she would have went. Alex is correct. I'm surprised she ain't say nothing because she would have went and told you before I could even show you the video. So with that being said, that I think that makes more sense as to why you were able to iron out the situation with your homegirl. Because she was probably able to, like, feel that, oh, she. You didn't mean nothing malicious by it. I actually don't think Alex is out of pocket or recording, you understand?

[Jamila]

You. You told us in the beginning that Tatiana introduced you to Alex, which means Alex is what her name is your friend. It's not that. That's not your friend, but that's her connection. Connection is with Tatiana and Alexx also. I'm not sure.

[Mecca]

And you said y' all have fell out for seven years, right?

[Jamila]

So it's like, where. So he doesn't owe any loyalty to you. No shame. He just says what it is.

[Mecca]

Alex also has a context that like, oh, this bitch ain't been your friend for seven years. Y' all fell out. I would just say consider where Alex is coming from. Not saying that Alex doesn't fuck with you, but what I am saying is he also, you don't know. Again, you didn't tell us why you and Tatiana fell Out. But I would go ahead and assume if this is Tatiana friend, you have to assume that Alex knows why you fell out. And he knows it from Tatiana's perspective. So he has up until this point been tolerating you per se and getting and giving you a chance, getting to know you said you guys are a trio as soon as you showed your ass. He said, he said, got that number.

[Jamila]

I did say that Alex was messy. Let me explain that. No, somebody being messy isn't a bad thing. I think sometimes people throw messy around as if it's an insult. It's not like derogatory. Like I don't think now messy can be. It can get bad, right? When you're, you know, when there's bad intent or there's like, you know, it creates all these things. But messy is more so personality type how you deal with certain things.

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jamila]

Because a non messy people who are not messy. He wouldn't have said anything. He probably would have still. It's probably still would have been on his mind, but he probably would have never said anything because it's like some people are like, oh D, mind my business. Mind my business. Mind my business.

[Mecca]

I was gonna say non messy people are people who don't tell nobody nothing and they end up getting themselves fucked up in friendships in the long run because it's like, bitch, bitch, you my friend. Why wouldn't you tell me that shit was going on? You supposed to be my friend.

[Jamila]

Dare I say messy people are sometimes the best friends you can have because you'll never not be. You'll never be in the dark. I'm going to tell you.

[Mecca]

I'm telling you everything, bitch.

[Jamila]

About me. My friends know. I'm telling, I'm telling, I'm telling.

[Mecca]

I don't care.

[Jamila]

I'm telling, I'm telling.

[Mecca]

So like my homegirl was out finitel.

[Jamila]

No, I don't think he was wrong. Was he messy?

[Mecca]

But I messy. So I said he was wrong.

[Jamila]

Like two things can be true. Was Alex being messy? Yes. Was he wrong? Fuck no. Were you wrong for dancing with the thing is in your mind that's not her permanent nigga because he's a swinger. You are trying to validate yourself by dancing on that nigga. And it doesn't mean that you want him. I'm not saying you want her, man. You probably just didn't use like, oh, he whatever the fuck he not even really. That really don't fucking matter. Yeah, that really don't fucking matter. And clearly your friend is not that pressed for it you know anymore either. Like, that's great. Great, great. Moral of the story is I think that your boundaries with your friends are a little blurred. And maybe y' all need to start having some more conversations. Because that's not something I would ever even think to do. Whether that was my friend's real nigga or not. Yeah, I would never think, yeah, let me dance with my friend's nigga right now.

[Mecca]

Yeah. No, so. And I think the fact that your friend didn't really give a fuck, again, that doesn't necessarily influence my opinion personally. Cause that's her a bit. Because I feel like there should be a boundary of, like, I don't give a fuck what's going on with that nigga, but that is my friend's nigga. And it's not even like, acquaintance. You said y' all are a trio. This is my good homegirls, nigga. Whether I don't care if they both don't give a fuck, I'm not interested in that. Because I think that that's a boundary. Personally, me, I'm not gonna engage in anyone. My engage with anyone my friend is talking to. The moments I found out with my friends and not my actual friends and I were engaging with the same nigga. I've been the one to step back because, you know, it gets tainted. Not in a bad way, but just like, I don't want to share n with my friends like that unless we've. Unless we've agreed upon it.

[Jamila]

It's just like, yeah, yeah, sister. And I'm not saying that you need to do a whole big thing, because clearly you've gotten to the point where you and Tatiana are cool. It's not a thing. Okay? We don't have to go backwards. Right?

[Mecca]

But now she's talking about Alex. How should she move Alice?

[Jamila]

So I would say, honestly, like, you gotta eat that. Yeah, you gotta eat that. Because you. You. Unfortunately, and from our opinion, based off the information you gave, the optics matter here. Pr.

[Mecca]

The optics were wrong. Regardless of what your intentions were.

[Jamila]

Intentions come on impact. We already know how impact goes. So I think that what you have to do is simply eat this and just move forward. But you also need to keep in mind that Alex is not your friend. For future references, maybe you shouldn't show all your cards to Alex. And again, this is not a bad thing. This doesn't mean that you need to be shady to Alex. This does not mean that you and Alex cannot also be friends. It just means that you are more friends with Tatiana. And so Is he?

[Mecca]

Alex is more friends with Tatiana. And I think you know that, given the backstory that you said. You just said that it worked, and y' all meshed, and y' all get along, optics wise. PR wise. If you get mad at Alex, your friend, what we name her? Not Liz Les. I'm just say, Liz Les is going.

[Jamila]

To look at you and be like, she's the girl. Tatiana is a friend.

[Mecca]

Sorry, Tatiana. When. The issue here is if you try and pop at Alex, it's gonna make you Tatiana, it's gonna make you look crazy, and Tatiana is then going to look at you and be like, so you have an issue with my friend being my friend?

[Jamila]

You don't have a leg to stand on.

[Mecca]

Yeah. You don't really like. You even just. This is all optics. You have to eat this. And I wouldn't even say start acting weird. Don't, like, just keep going. Like, just Mila said, just move on.

[Jamila]

Just move on.

[Mecca]

Cause even if you're in the trio and you start being weird to Alex, baby, it's over. You are going to lose your friend and Alex and your friend, because then they're gonna read that as, oh, well, we don't want to be around her, and she's weird anyway. So just since y' all have squashed it just.

[Jamila]

And y' all are 40, move on. Now, I will say, if you want to do a distraction tool to get the heat off you, and if, like, if it starts getting a little weird and you kind of just want to move on really, really quick, and you don't want Alex to kind of, like, keep thinking about it, keep being on the top of his head. Now, mind you, it's gonna all. He's gonna never forget people. You know what I'm saying? He's gonna always remember that. But if you want to kind of hair, we move on.

[Mecca]

Probably's never deleting the video.

[Jamila]

Oh, yeah, for sure. What I would suggest you do. And this is just something to. This is a quick band aid to kind of distract everybody and kind of move on really quickly. Planet game night. And you bring you a nigga so that you can just. So it can just look like, oh, she don't really give. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mecca]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[Jamila]

And invite everybody. Make sure that nigga invite there, too. Invite swinger nigga and invite you a. That way, everybody got a. Ain't no weird. And everybody can still Kiki and cuckoo bring a.

[Mecca]

Tell Alex to bring a. Make sure it's a date. It's a Date situation. It is a bring your to game night. Absolutely.

[Jamila]

And then that way everybody can get drunk, have a good time and then be like, okay, she wasn't on no weird shit, y' all, you know? Cause sometimes you, sometimes you get a peekaboo and like you think somebody on some weird time and you. But hold on, this is bitch weird. And then you keep. You sometimes kind of give them a little bit, you know, give them a chance and let it flesh out a little bit. You about. Oh, okay. Wasn't on no weird. You know what I'm saying? We had a woman, but she fixed it.

[Mecca]

She was drunk. Yeah, in her right mind.

[Jamila]

But don't, don't make any sudden movements. No shade.

[Mecca]

Cuz the moment you make them sudden.

[Jamila]

Moves, you're out of there.

[Mecca]

You're off that island out of there.

[Jamila]

But yeah, that's easy peasy. But don't do that no more. Stop dancing with people's though. Because you never know what a will do you. What if she. Because what if she was the type of to come back and knock you in the back of your head? Things like this happen. You know what I'm saying? Like, you just should never dance with people's niggas. I don't know. But that's just me though. That's just me though.

[Mecca]

Well, all right, that was good.

[Jamila]

We're gonna take a break. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, prime helps you get more out of your pack. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music and fast free delivery, prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more.

[Mecca]

And we're back.

[Jamila]

Okay, y' all, we are about to read a couple of comments that you guys have been leaving across platforms from our previous episode. Remember to continuously engage with us, y' all. We really, really love reading all comments to see, you know, what was y' all favorite part. Any feedback you guys have, we implore all of it. Make sure you guys are continuously following us on all our platforms and make sure you guys tune into the Patreon. We actually have a special Patreon exclusive episode dropping and by the time you watch this, it actually should be out. So make sure you guys are joined in for that because we'll be, you know, adding to all the vibes for the Patreon and we hope you guys are, you know, stick around with us as we continue to grow that as a platform as well. But yeah, let's get straight into these comments. This one is from the abusers in the media video and this is Spotify from Venezi. The no entry fee made me deeply sigh. Take me back man. It's so rare these days. Love that at Courtney Wickens said the bruh still doing it at the PWI so I can't imagine what they doing at the HBCUs. Oh baby, just depend on where you at. Takira Amari says, would y' all ever consider doing like a sub spin it section where we could just ask y' all for advice on things specifically me lmfao but it's nothing messy or low down enough for me to send an actual spin it. But I would love, I would love to if I could get some help from my big cousin. Send it in baby, send it in. It ain't got to be the most disgusting, low down dirty shame. You know what I'm saying? Send it. Bianca Dean says I'm a night coffee drinker and it freaks my boyfriend out. Yeah y' all, y' all scare me. Like that's such a morning drink. Like whoa at goddess sometimes you gotta.

[Mecca]

Go doo doo so you gotta, you know, you gotta go to bathroom, be stuffed up.

[Jamila]

Says thank y' all for this podcast. It helps me get through the workday. I love that y' all are funny and keep it real exactly at Kaya centerloop Kaya's interlude says, as a current SBCU student at A N T I love listening to y' all reminisce and talk about the experience. They definitely still play no hands and and that check in and see who is behind you is so real. Love y' all. Shout out to A and T. I.

[Mecca]

Went to NCAT a couple times for homecoming Jiha I had me a nigga at ncat. Okay Mimi's moment said the college story had me cheesing, twerking and reminiscing. What a time. Alex in 1363 said no but heavy on the you never had to request the song because the DJ knew what to play. Exactly. Dominique5027 said Jamila ate with the boy mom segment when she was talking about and stop trying to fuck your son. Like please stop saying that making me uncomfortable. Koya's curated chaos said about damn time y' all upload. I done worked the whole day y' all. We've been working I'm sorry mall with a whole bunch of l said Jamila's storytelling abilities. Girl at this Point. I feel like I was there with you. She was really get when you went get hit with puss hair. I said, wow, you're really painting a picture. Trendy world said you just gotta. You just gonna and keep talking, girl. I really thought Jamila had farted. I meant to clip that that exact part because I thought she had farted.

[Jamila]

Yeah, that's great.

[Mecca]

I love cold pizza. 7, 5, 8. What type of cold pizza? Because it could get weird very quickly. Said hearing y' all college stories makes me so sad because I stayed in state, commuted and still lived with my parents. As soon as the lecture was over, I got in my car and went straight home. So I never got to experience college. Plus COVID 19. Like fuck, I should have done more Uggs. But sister, are you in debt? Because one thing about living at home with your parents, that debt will not be the way it is. If you. You know what I'm saying.

[Jamila]

These are from Apple. Mum980 said yes to the advice to London girl. Soon as she said they were ldr, I knew that's why she was bored. Also, that man cheating down. Listen, underscore, zap it. Whatever the beans and toast spin it sent me, I want to start by saying I love y' all. I listen to y' all every week. I think this episode had me hollering and screaming the most from y' all British accents to Jameela not being able to finish reading the letter. As a Gemini, I understand, but sometimes you gotta get those thoughts out before continuing. But this was a good episode. My new favorite podcast. Thank you so much. I1101 so y' all are too funny. I most definitely relate to Mecca with that third setting on the rose. We not crazy.

[Mecca]

Y' all are crazy.

[Jamila]

Oh, my gosh. Y' all are insane.

[Mecca]

Girl, sometimes I need to get that nut off in less than 10 seconds.

[Jamila]

Jesus.

[Mecca]

Sometimes I don't have time to rev it up.

[Jamila]

Well, this has been another amazing episode. We don't have too many church announcements that we can actually drop, but of course, you know, we were in la. If you are tapped into our patreon, you got early access to our episodes that we did with Kev on stage. We'll definitely be sure to drop some clip soon as well. And as those episodes come out, of course we'll, you know, post them and everything like that. But beyond that, guys, stay tuned because we have some really exciting announcements coming at some point sooner than later.

[Mecca]

All right, Bye bye.

[Jamila]

Unhinged and Immoral is hosted by Jamila Bell and Mecca.

[Mecca]

Produced by Melissa D? Mont and Diamond Imprint Productions Post production by co Coco Lawrence production assistant by.

[Jamila]

Melanie D. Watson Music by Adi & Brooklyn Billionaires and graphics by Claudia Choi.