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- [00:00]
A
What's up, screw crew? We got a new movie coming out called the drama from A24 starring Zendaya and Robert Patterson. And that's all you needed to tell me to be locked in. It's giving. A happily engaged couple is put to the test when an unexpected turns send their wedding week off the rails. And that's the type of suspense and drama that I'm looking for. No pun. After watching the trailer, my mind is going in so many different ways. Like, what was Zendaya up to, too? I can't wait to see exactly how these issues play into their relationship. The relationships with their friends, their wedding, like, what actually is going on. Y' all already know how I feel about bringing back real theater experiences. One thing you can always count on is a 24 doing what they got to do for a movie. And of course, Zendaya and Robert Patterson is going to deliver. This seems like one of those movies that you have to be in the theater for so that everybody can experience, Experience it all together. Y' all. Go check out the trailer. Let us know what you think. Remember, the drama is in theaters April 3rd. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Unhinged and Immoral. We're back, we're back, we're back. Weekly recordings, weekly drops. For as long as we can hold out on. We're gonna have a little hiccup here and there. You know, we got some surgeries, you know, we got some events and some things, but for the most part, we should be. We should be.
- [01:18]
B
I think we've hit our flow state. I think we've got it. Well, welcome back to the backgrounds, to the. To the FaceTime, to the group chat. A lot has happened this week, y'. All. We were just on Tik Tok Live talking about how we're. We are planning to, like, go live on Patreon so that we can start including the screw crew kind of in the chat with the topics that we talk about. We've got. We're getting a more order of service to how we're running this thing. We've been free balling it for years. Well, a year at this point. So I think it's time we have segments 20, 20, 20, because y' all know we go off on rants and tangents.
- [02:04]
A
And, and, and.
- [02:04]
B
And I'm not saying it's not gonna happen because that's where the magic is. I'm just saying our screw crew gonna see it when it happens. That's what I'm saying. So make sure that you're subscribed to our Patreon. We're still working out the logistical kinks, but I mean, we got multiple phones and laptops at this point, so I. We. We'll get it done.
- [02:23]
A
Yeah, we'll figure something out. We'll definitely figure something out. So stay tuned for that, darling. Stay tuned. Actually, you know what I was just thinking about? There is a live. This is not even a. Whatever. I'll say that after the pot. This. I was. I'm thinking we're still on.
- [02:39]
B
Anyway.
- [02:39]
A
Anyways. Welcome back to Unhinged. No more. Let's get to some topics.
- [02:43]
B
I want to talk about the Grammys and Chapel. Roan's nipples.
- [02:50]
A
Baby. Chapel. You know why I like Chapel? Not really because of the music. Not to say that her music is bad, but that's. I'm full disclaimer. I am not someone who really likes pop music. That is not my genre of choice. Every now and then a pop song definitely enters my zeitgeist and I. I enjoy it, but for the most part, I do not listen to pop. So that's my little disclaimer. So the reason I like Chapel, it has nothing to do with her music. I like that she is extra. She has said a couple of times that, you know, she really enjoys drag queens and like she's, you know, used them as point of reference for the way in which she has her get up. She's taking it as far as, like being a pop star are. Yes. Bring back nudity.
- [03:34]
B
Bring back the stunt queens. I do think.
- [03:37]
A
Yes. I live.
- [03:40]
B
Speaking of stunt queens, Gaga showed her ass last night. But that's going to be a whole separate. We got to give Gaga her own thing. I think being raised under the Gaga in the literal meat costume. Nikki, before she met. She went to Ville with the chicken wing around her neck. Beyonce, your impact. Because the girls want to be Beyonce in terms of looking cute and looking, you know what I'm saying? Like all that type of stuff. We still need the stunt queens. We need the weird bitches. Like, we need the freaks.
- [04:13]
A
There is a lane for diff. There's. There's different lanes. And that's what I really enjoyed about the early 2000s is like there were different errors, different sections of people. And you could tell this is one of my favorite parts. About 2,000, specifically, you could tell what type of music somebody did so simply by how they dress on the red carpet. Nowadays, everybody want to wear the same bodycon dress. I don't know what you seen. You don't have A, R and B.
- [04:38]
B
G. You know what I'm saying?
- [04:39]
A
You don't have punk rock eyeliner. How am I supposed to know what you do?
- [04:45]
B
I really like the Swedish girl. Zara is her name. Zara Lost.
- [04:50]
A
Who? Oh, Lawson.
- [04:52]
B
I like because I don't know nothing.
- [04:54]
A
About her, but she can blow.
- [04:55]
B
But you know what I. And what I like about her? She has a specific style. I think we're agreeing in terms of the early 2000s had the pop stars and this and just the superstars with a specific type of style. And they kind of held true to that. Of course you had the Rihanna's who were constantly rebranding and changing their style, but the folks were holding on to like, if this is my vibe, if this is my personal style and vibe, everything I wear is going to match that. I feel like we don't really get a lot of that anymore, but we're getting back to it. And that's how I know nature is healing.
- [05:26]
A
We need that. And, and, and also there was a time period specifically within the 20 little bit past 2010. So maybe it entered into like the 2014 to 2020 music also started to merge and it was hard to differentiate between the genres as well. And that is something I absolutely hate. I enjoy my neck. I enjoy being. Being able to listen to different sounds of music. I don't like that country, pop and rock have all blended their sound. No. And I blame you, Taylor Swift.
- [06:08]
B
No, you're not wrong because our song is a slam of screen doors sticking.
- [06:14]
A
Out like tapping on your window. You was supposed to be a. You was supposed to be a country. You were supposed to be a country girl. Not and. And, and. And not to. And I'm not trying to be the. To like put in boxes. But you were supposed to be in that box.
- [06:24]
B
No sh.
- [06:26]
A
Genres. You would have been at box girl. Cuz now people don't even know what rock is because you're trying to blend all these things together. And it's like, bro, like, huh? They're calling. They're calling things things that aren't the.
- [06:38]
B
You know what I think it is?
- [06:40]
A
I don't like it.
- [06:41]
B
Also, before the people who did fusion music, fusion music was kind of its own thing to begin with. So if you had like a pop rock situation, like for example, I think this is a really good example how Shaboozi mixes country and hip hop. That is Shaboozy sound. I do not now expect the whole genre of country to be mixed with hip hop.
- [07:04]
A
Yeah, why are you all doing it?
- [07:05]
B
And I get it.
- [07:06]
A
It's like when something works, everyone's kind of like.
- [07:08]
B
It's kind of like when everyone in the early 2010s was making EDM music. Like when, like, oh my gosh, the EDM era was.
- [07:17]
A
So what was beyond everybody was on Molly's Baby. I don't.
- [07:23]
B
When Usher got on the wave, I said, we're, we're cooked. We're done.
- [07:26]
A
When you dance on. And unfortunately it don't make you a hoe.
- [07:32]
B
Baby, I don't.
- [07:33]
A
What he said. Usher ate his EDM area.
- [07:36]
B
He did. And that. That's the problem. I think that's also the problem when people start mixing the genres. They be eating it up and then it kind of becomes a standard for the genre now. No, like, let's just have this era and. And then go back. You see what I'm saying?
- [07:50]
A
Sometimes it's just moment in time. And the thing is you can mix and blend different sounds while maintaining your individuality. Because Usher brought Usher to edm, you know what I'm saying? Like, he didn't just do the same thing everybody else did. Like, he had the techno beats but was giving you Usher vocals. And I have another bone to pick with my girls. This is something that I. This is, this is a thesis statement of mine. The reason that R B is in a shaky state. And I don't want to say R B is dead. RB will never be dead as long as black people are here. Get that correct. But the reason that R B is in the shaky state is because we don't have enough R B pop records. The people who did R B pop correctly are people like Brandy specifically. You are going to get those strong, hard R B vocals and runs with a good beat. With a good beat. And it was very necessary. Tony Braxton also gave us a couple of really good R B pop moments. But R B led the pop was the beat. I want my girls to invest in more upbeat tempos with those hard hitting vocals. I need the ladies to work with the dark child and Missy Elliott. Thank you and good night. Missy, we need you.
- [09:19]
B
I got a cute face, chubby waist, thick legs in shape Rump shaker make.
- [09:25]
A
You do a double take. So yeah, that was my thesis statement.
- [09:28]
B
It makes sense. But back to the Grammys.
- [09:31]
A
A tangent that stemmed from Chaps Titties, by the way.
- [09:36]
B
I mean, I do. I love how my Chaps titties took us there. Shout out to the mutuals. Kehlani ran off with a Grammy. Durant ran off with a Grammy Shout out to Dochi ran off with a Grammy. Kendrick Lamar, he runs off with Grammys. It's like his thing.
- [09:59]
A
He is now the most Grammy award winning rapper in history. My Gemini King we praise you all hail King Kendrick.
- [10:09]
B
Shaboozy got a Grammy. Sinners won a Grammy. Ryan Coug and them got Gram Coug trying to be an egot. Did you see that Steven Spielberg reached egot status last night as well. So you know it's only 40. Don't quote me on that. But it's. It's like under 50 EGOTs ever. It's not a lot. J Hood's in that and now Steven Spielberg's in that too, so. So shout out to him and Jamila will be okay. You got. Come on.
- [10:40]
A
Listen, check in, check in 30 years though. You know what I'm saying?
- [10:45]
B
It's not gonna happen right now, but eventually. But it. I mean, Stephen been around since the 70s, so, you know, it don't have it. It doesn't have to happen overnight. I will say Jennifer got her in less than a decade though. She did a. I was gonna say that you did a run. That was. It was. It's like what the. That's usually how that. That doesn't. That's not usually how that goes. Okay.
- [11:10]
A
Yeah, she scooped them the up. Good for her. Yeah, it was. It was a good night. Grammys was a good night for black folks and for just. I think I didn't. I didn't walk away angry at the Grammys. Like I didn't feel like people didn't get their rightful things. I think having Bad Bunny win album of the year was partly musical and also partly political.
- [11:34]
B
Absolutely. Sure.
- [11:35]
A
And I think we did that. I think we absolutely needed that. Especially his first speech talking directly talking about ice and then coming back and the majority of his thank you speech of album of the year being in Spanish. All that was very intentional and I love that for him and I can't wait to see what the that do for the super bowl because I know he is fit to put all types of politics in it. And it's going to be Viva la.
- [11:59]
B
Michico Puerto Rico via what's crazy. Y know, I love Bonito. I don't be knowing what he's saying only a little bit, but I be listening th. Also that album was incredibly political. That. That's really the. That's what I was told album is. Is a love letter to Puerto Rico. Puerto rico is a U.S. territory. So Puerto Ricans are U.S. citizens. Okay. And that's. But it Was specifically, it's a love letter to Puerto Rico. And so I think that him just winning it was really fitting. I. I was actually very happy that he won. I wasn't surprised he was gonna. He won. Because if you listen to the album, if you. When it first came out, especially when all the Latino people, especially those in America, were doing the deep dives and the dissertations on it and explaining what, like each imagery meant, and you had a lot of Afro Latinos included in that. He gives Afro Latino vibes himself. That hair is a little bit coarse. Even though he loves a gringa. He loves a gringa. It's always going to be a skinty gringa on his arm. Yeah, that I. I wasn't surprised he won, cuz when it. When it came out, I was in Bonito land and I learned every little piece, I said, oh, my God. He.
- [13:16]
A
He is absolutely talking about.
- [13:18]
B
He is someone I feel 1000% comfortable and confident comparing to Beyonce in terms of. When you watch his music videos, you know how Beyonce is. So even down to the smallest detail means something. He is also very much like that with his music videos and his imagery that he includes. So I am also very excited to see his shit for the Super Bowl.
- [13:44]
A
Yeah, I was. I will say I actually was surprised that he won only because with album of the year, that's. That's the biggest award of the night. And I've just seen so many times where the Grammys will give it to someone who I did not necessarily agree with. I don't want to say who didn't deserve, because I don't think that that's fair to say, But I do think that, like, in comparison to some of the other people in the genres or not the genres, the category, it'll be kind of like, I mean, okay, I guess who else was Harry Styles? But when he was called, called, I was like, you know what? I didn't listen to a liquid that album, mainly because I don't listen to Spanish music unless it's Selena. Y' all know I am Selena, and that's no shade. It's just. I don't. I don't know what she's saying. So I don't. This is not my, you know, it's not my bag. But I do know that it. It impacted a lot of people. So for me, off the strength of that being Puerto Rican and speaking that. That goddamn espanol on that microphone and saying ice loud and clear, I think that that was. Was important enough and that is going to be historic. And Years down the line, we're going to talk about that the same way we talk about how Will Smith boycotted and, you know, talking about how we brought hip hop into the space of the Grammys. The same way we look at Eddie Murphy talking shit about the Oscars not honoring black folks. Those are the type of things that is going to really be impactful long before. Long after today and tomorrow.
- [15:08]
B
So I also think it's okay. I looked at the he. This was a good year, though. Like, there have been years where for album of the year, it's been like, I guess that's all y' all had this year. You had Leon Thomas, Pharrell, Kendrick, Sabrina Carpenter, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, and Tyler the creator. This was a really good year. Tyler's album was amazing. These are the Grammy for album of the year nominees.
- [15:34]
A
I thought Clips was also nominated.
- [15:38]
B
Yes, that. I'm sorry I said Pharrell, he's the first name. So. Pharrell. Pusha T. Clips.
- [15:44]
A
Yeah, that was.
- [15:45]
B
That's that. Yeah. Yeah. This was a good year. Even Lady Gaga's Mayhem album, I really liked Tyler Creator, obviously. Everyone loves mud.
- [15:56]
A
It was a. It was a good year. It was a good year.
- [15:59]
B
It really was.
- [16:00]
A
I was very satisfied. And it's going to be an even better year when Beyonce drops for Act 3 this year. Oh. Anyways. And I was very. Something I really, really enjoy from the Grammys. And I don't know if this has ever been done before, but this is the first time I really noticed this. So I really want to give the Grammys their things for this. Highlighting the new artist category and allowing them all to perform back to back for their category was amazing. I absolutely love that. Being a new artist specifically in music is very difficult, and I think that that really was a great showcase of like, here are our new artists category nominees. Let me show you what they can do. And they all have their own little flavor and flair. And I thought it was really dope. I am just so happy for Leon Thomas. Like Victorious. I don't know that baby. I don't know that baby From Canada. I've never met him. We've never interacted on socials. But I just watching him from Victorious and knowing how much he has done in the industry before, getting his own spotlight similar to Victoria Monet. It just feels good to see people get their things just as much as Duran. And I do know Duran, thankfully, I have had an interaction with him and he's a pleasant desire. I have been watching Duran for over 10 years, so to say, see the longevity of his career and now he got that Grammy. Oh my. As an individual.
- [17:33]
B
That was a big deal, guys. That's a big deal.
- [17:36]
A
Oh my gosh. I'm, I'm just so happy.
- [17:41]
B
Also, I think it speaks to being authentically yourself. Did you see on Twitter last night I said, oh, baby, you. I feel like he knew he was gonna win the Grammy and he saved. He said that someone said you're so extra and am. Because listen, people have no problem telling you you ain't gonna be. So when you do, when you be. Let me remind you, told me I wasn't gonna be. All right. You ain't never gonna make me feel bad for it.
- [18:04]
A
And he specifically, or the person who tweet that specifically said Duran would be a superstar if he wasn't so extra and had all, you know, had all his mannerisms, things. It's like, no, no, no. That is why I'm saying that Durant is where he is because of how extra he is. Duran is an entertainer first and foremost with the vocals to match. Can't nobody do what Duran does. And that's the point. Like, that's why everyone loves Duran so much. Because of his theatrics, because of how he hoots and hollers, because of how extra he is, because of how funny he is. But also be throwing that voice any which way.
- [18:39]
B
Balloons reminds me of the old school black stars. We've talked about this before, how back in the day you had to be able to do everything, sing, dance, act. Like, when I see his performances and I see clips of his performances, it really reminds me of like the old school variety shows where I'm not just sitting here watching you sing. I'm, I'm, I'm getting a performance. Like this is. I'm getting all things. And that really is his appeal and also longevity wise, why he's going to be around for a long time. You know, those are the things that when you think about super superstars, they can do a lot. They're not just doing one talent, they're doing multiple talents.
- [19:19]
A
Yeah, he, he, he has just arrived and he nowhere. Nowhere, Nowhere. Check now. Check that.
- [19:29]
B
Did you see that? Meliana Trump's movie flopped. Who? What's her name? Is it not Meliana? What? The first lady.
- [19:46]
A
What's her name?
- [19:48]
B
Meliana. What's that lady name? Jamila.
- [19:51]
A
I'll go with it.
- [19:52]
B
Fuck that bitch. I don't know the lady. What it is.
- [19:56]
A
Melania.
- [19:57]
B
Melania. I thought it was Meliana. I'm not gonna Lie. But I also don't care to really learn her name anyway.
- [20:06]
A
I don't really give a damn.
- [20:09]
B
I was just saying it's flops.
- [20:11]
A
My thing is. What the fuck.
- [20:13]
B
She has a documentary about her life titled her name formerly Meliana, now as Melian. What is it again? Melania.
- [20:25]
A
Melania.
- [20:26]
B
Oh, isn't that. That's Theresa Giudice. Daughter name too from Jersey Housewives. Melania. Melania. Stop. That's the only Melania I respect though. It's Melania Giudice. So they were literally had Craigslist posting. They was paying people to go see it. That's how much. That's how hard it flopped.
- [20:47]
A
It's like, well, what did you expect, girl? Who the gives a about your life at a time like this? For sure. Unless you're writing a tell all novel, don't nobody give a. Get the out of here.
- [21:00]
B
I just, it's.
- [21:02]
A
Check her papers. What's her immigrant status?
- [21:05]
B
It's so interesting watching the Trump administration fail at having public favor and trying to manufacture that. They have public favor, you know, trying hard. And it's like we all see what's happening. No one is with y' all like so yeah, no one is gonna go see this movie. There was a boy on TikTok who said he went to see it like 8 times back to back and made like $400 though like in the same day is what I'm saying. I was gonna say I ain't managed to give you money now. I ain't gonna hate you know what I'm saying?
- [21:37]
A
Because you know, I mean what it is. Because you know what is good ratings for that movie really gonna do? I don't know, it's not like he's gonna get good range, but if you made 400 off that, hey, good, good for you. Eat off them. That reminds me when that black girl came out as a Trump supporter, racked all that money up and left and.
- [21:53]
B
Mind you, that's what are acting like Nikki's gonna do. And I'm like, she's not smart enough. That's not what she said.
- [21:59]
A
She's. Yeah, let's get into Nikki Coon.
- [22:04]
B
Nicki Kunaj Kunash. Listen, nothing surprises me anymore though. I gotta be honest. I really, I felt like obviously Megan was a turning point, right? And I felt like one Bigfoot being an absolute horrible song. Up until that point, I had not heard a song by Nick. I had. Nikki had songs that I'm like, girl, what the fuck? But it was never like girl, what the absolute fuck Is this, that? And then I do think her. There were. There's been multiple turning points where it's like, dang, it keeps getting worse. She talked about Megan's mama, which some people could argue, you know, there's no rules in hip hop disses. And okay, cool, but, but Bigfoot was bad. And then we go fast forward to this other round with Cardi where she says she was gonna kick culture in the mouth or some shit. I feel like. And that's what I'm saying. I feel like there have been several points where she keeps catching people off guard with how far she's willing to take it. So it's not necessarily surprising that she's here, but it's like, damn, oh, how far the mighty have fallen. Because this is the type of shit like I don't. Industry wise within her industry, obviously she'll be able to sell tickets. She's Nicki Minaj. But industry rise, being respected by your peers, you're not coming back from this. That's that and that's been over with. But I'm saying this was like a nail in a coffin type shit.
- [23:37]
A
You know, it's Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. Can't you see sometimes your world? You know, I just. It's so crazy looking at where we are today with Nicki Minaj, thinking back to 10, 15 years ago where we were with Nicki Minaj, like that the difference is startling and it's sad. It's really, really sad because it did not have to be this way. And when I had made a video a while ago, kind of just giving, not grace, but kind of just saying, like, I understand feeling ostracized and feeling like you don't have nobody feeling like, even if I made mistakes in the industry, like, damn, like, can't nobody help me out. And like there were critiques that, that, that Nikki made over the years that were valid and had validity. And I think that everybody agreed to that. But the way in which she took her grievances out on newcomers was always, I think, the issue that people had. Because while yes, the industry has all these issues, I don't think anybody's negating that you cussing young mulatto out on Twitter because of something that she can't control. Those two things don't make sense. And it was like a track record of consistently, consistently hashing out your issues on the wrong people. And so it just kind of was distasteful. Right. But all of that still did not waver her respect as an artist. I think, I think that was kind of just like. Some people kind of just like, ah, Nicki's annoying. Nicki's mean or whatever. Okay, cool. People be mean, right? It was never anything that deep to then go off a completely derail of your entire career. For what? And for those barbs who are just so indebted to her. And I get it, because as a beehive member, if I woke up tomorrow and seen Beyonce standing next to Trump doing the things that Nikki did, I, too, would be like my sister. Have she. She got to have a plan for this. This has to be. Something has to be deeper. I, too, would be so confused. Like, bitch something. So this has to be meaning something. Right? I get it. It's. It's. It's a. It's a heart hit, right? But Nikki didn't just wake up one night and stand with Trump, so. So I can't understand why y' all are trying to overly defend her when she's not trying to overly defend you or herself. She's telling you exactly what she means. You know what I mean? It's not like these. Because there's been a lot of other black artists who have randomly done concerts here and there with Trump. We get that. Right? But they didn't also go on coke, Twitter rants calling us the idiots, right? Talking down on us. That is so strange.
- [26:39]
B
And why does Chrissy Teigen have a dick? What does that have to do with anything?
- [26:43]
A
What the hell did Chrissy T. Get?
- [26:45]
B
Why is Fat Lizzo even.
- [26:47]
A
What. Why is she cussing out George Clinton?
- [26:50]
B
George Clinton Atomic Dog.
- [26:56]
A
Clinton, bro. I. I didn't.
- [26:58]
B
I didn't see the George Clinton tweet. Hold on.
- [27:01]
A
Nicki Minaj Clinton tweeted something random about George Clinton. I said, yo, and was George Clinton even at the Gramm. Mind you, when Trevor made that joke about Nikki, mind you, it was. It was. It was really tame. It was like, the easiest joke. Like, Nikki isn't here, by the way. Like, of course Nikki isn't here. Like, you think I'm not gonna take a cheap shot while I'm the host. You better be glad I wasn't the goddamn.
- [27:26]
B
Oh, she said. She said George Clinton, sit. Show stanking ass down.
- [27:32]
A
That's what's.
- [27:33]
B
Like.
- [27:33]
A
Where did that come from? I don't. Why would you say that? As soon as Trevor had made that joke about her, I knew immediately her ass was gonna be on that Twitter, but I knew she was gonna be regardless. Because here's the thing that y' all don't want to accept barbs Nikki wants so bad to be back in those spaces. Nikki wants so bad to be back with her peers, to be at the Grammys, to be at the award shows shucking and jiving with the rest of them. She wants to be at that Clive Davis Grammy party so bad. She wants to be at the BET H Awards. She wants to be everywhere her peers are. She wants to. She wants that throne back. But the thing is, she knows that she has done so much damage, and she no longer has those relationships, so she can't get there no more. So what am I gonna do instead? I'm gonna just say, y'. All. That's all this is. She don't have no community, don't nobody with her. And so now she's like, y' all not with me. I'm not with y'. All. And I'm gonna just go off on a tangent. I'm just gonna go off. She's looking for community in the wrong places. Because if you think for a second them fucking crackers want your black ass from Trinidad, bitch, you're fucking lying. The same people that was just talking shit about you a couple of years ago, then you got your ass up here on Twitter talking about some. Yeah, they're doing these satanic rituals, bitch. Where was that energy when people was calling you the Queen of the Illuminati during your Roman era?
- [28:59]
B
Because the north, remember?
- [29:00]
A
All of a sudden you want to try to validate these bullshit ass Illuminati rumors. Girl, get the fuck out of here. Where was that energy when you was doing songs with Beyonce? Was huddled up under.
- [29:09]
B
Under hove.
- [29:09]
A
What was that? Now all of a sudden you want to say the Illuminati is real and they doing satanic rich. Girl, get the out of here. If that is real, then you was doing it too. Get the out of here. How convenient. You're anti black. You have no community, and you have no more bars either. There.
- [29:34]
B
There was never an album.
- [29:37]
A
There was never an album.
- [29:38]
B
There was never an album.
- [29:40]
A
And I said that. I said, this bitch ain't got no goddamn album.
- [29:43]
B
And I think.
- [29:44]
A
And you know what's crazy?
- [29:46]
B
Taking it back to one of your points earlier. This. Her. Her really getting up there and really putting Maga on her back. Is the thing, though, that I've seen make people go. Because before, it was like, Nikki's crazy, but she's still Nicki Minaj.
- [30:03]
A
It was like, you know, the room, the elephant in the room that everybody will speak on this.
- [30:08]
B
Done. I didn't see people come. She can't rap she can't. And that was never a part of the conversation.
- [30:15]
A
That.
- [30:15]
B
That part was never. It was always, nikki could rap, but I don't like how she did this. Nikki could rap. I don't like how she. She the queen of rap.
- [30:21]
A
And I'm just.
- [30:22]
B
I don't like this now. It's to the point. Like, the can't rap. She ain't put out a good song in a decade. That I said, oh, shit. Like, we're in. We're in a different era also. Jamila and I have both been doxed by the Barbs. I got on the news in Houston and told the Barbs, if you want to come to my house, I will send you to meet your. Meet your maker. Like that. That was a real moment. And the fear that the Barbs had. I remember someone was like, oh, y' all was scared of the Barbs. I'm not scared of the Barbs. But the Barbs were absolutely using fear Taxi. It was a point in time. It's like you people didn't want to speak on Nikki because they didn't want their information docs. They didn't want certain things to happen. She has fallen so far off that no one is even scared of Barbs no more. It's just seen as like, oh, you're a Barb. It's like being maga. It's like, oh, you're a Barb. Like, it's like your fan base doesn't even have the respect that they had at one point in time. And I think that that is like the turning point when it's like being.
- [31:14]
A
And you don't even. She doesn't even respect her fan base anymore there. What's crazy is her fan base is still right now actively currently defending her to great lengths, right? Like, no, she has a bigger plan. She's playing chess. All these dumbass explanations for whatever the she's doing right now and she's blocking them.
- [31:31]
B
Shout out to Raymonte.
- [31:33]
A
I will never not laugh at her blocking Raymonte. I'm sorry, Raymont. Sorry. I know that hurt my baby, Raymonte.
- [31:41]
B
So bad when he said, yes, I am a dumb ass. Raymonte, please.
- [31:48]
A
I know Raymonte is so sad about that, but it's like, bro, like, she is not. She does not respect y'. All. She only respects people who bend the knee at her.
- [31:58]
B
You know what I always say, Jamila? She want. The problem with Nikki is she wanted people to do what she did to Lauryn Hill. When Lauryn Hill is Nicki Minaj's. Idol when she. When she met Lauryn Hill, she dropped to her knees and kissed Lauren Hill's feet. Mind you, Lauryn Hill is clearly uncomfortable with this whole interaction because she said, typically, I mean, people want their respect, but I do think someone getting down and actually kissing your feet, like, like, it's just jarring. And it's like, that's what.
- [32:26]
A
It's kind of like, thank you.
- [32:27]
B
You know, that's what she wants from other people. And it's like, you can get respect, but a lot of most people, I'll say, are not going to quite literally kiss your feet, which is what she wanted the girls to do. And that's really the issue, honestly.
- [32:43]
A
Yeah. And. And I think what's funny is, like, the barbs, they see people critiquing and like, I. I make jokes all the time, but also it's. I'm a comedian. I'm sorry. I'm gonna do that every single time. I don't give a. So, yes, I do make jokes about it, but I think the barbs see people talking about Nikki and making jokes and think that we have this, like, secret animosity where we've always wanted Nikki to fail. And it's like, no, y' all are missing it. This is actually really sad. And I think that that's what makes it so insane and intense for us. We are watching somebody who we all praised when Nikki first came out. When Nikki was in her prime. Nikki did not just have a lot of haters. We're not going to rewrite history, bro. That's not what happened. Nikki was the only female rapper getting praised for a very long time. Nikki was not just. Just did not just have a whole bunch of haters, at least publicly. That did not happen, bro. And so to make it seem like everybody was just praying and waiting on her downfall. That is. That's not what's happening. Nobody is just excited that Nikki's finally failing. We watched Nikki tarnish her own career. We watched it live time. We have the proof because she told us we are simply watching the consequences of her actions play out. And for us, we're sitting in a place where we watch you go from the head bitch in charge of this shit to go into to. To be some mean ass lady to all these other caricature being shucking and jiving and become a coon, bro. That's embarrassing. As a black woman, I'm embarrassed. Look at what you're doing. And it's. It's. You're so far gone at this point. I don't even give a about giving you your flowers anymore. About being one of the hardest mcs that we've ever had. Who cares anymore if this is what you do with it? Who the cares as a black person in this country with all the we got going on and this is what the you want to do with it. Them raps, what Remy say Nicki Minaj, but you know what I'm saying? Itty bitty piggy, come on. I'm still rapping, no shade, you know what I'm saying? You know, because I was on a.
- [34:51]
B
Plan, a couple other songs, I'll give you that. You know what I mean? Like, you feel me?
- [34:58]
A
You know what I mean?
- [34:59]
B
I mean, listen, if you can still step in the name of love, I can still rapid ebity piggy when it comes on. But let me say this. I, I, I, I, I, I'm not gonna give it much else. When the song goes off, it's over with. That's it. And that's all just like her career, you know, Shout out to Gag City. I know it's ruins right now.
- [35:22]
A
And somebody had tweeted me because I was of course talking about. I had tweeted the. I said how convenient it would be for her to wait until everyone has turned their backs on her because of her own affiliation to a fascist regime to now all of a sudden come out with satanic ritual allegations. LMFAO. Where was this energy when folks were making 10 minute YouTube alignment Illuminati claims against her during her Roman era? Somebody said, girl, shut up. I don't see you saying much about the files that your fave husband is in. Y' all love to talk about Nikki, but when she was getting swatted by swatted, it was crickets. When people were bashing her constantly from 2018 to 2022, it's cricket. Shut up. See, my thing is none of the deflection that y' all have to have in order to make it work because what the does any of any of that have to do with what I just said? You can't acknowledge it because you know it's true.
- [36:25]
B
Right?
- [36:26]
A
And I'm like for one to make it seem like I don't care about the Epstein files. Mind you, this follows me. So it's like you're. First of all, please, please. Jeffrey Epstein follows serious here. Mecca.
- [36:41]
B
Wait, you said this follows me?
- [36:45]
A
The who tweeted me Mecca.
- [36:47]
B
Oh, I just had a Mary Cosby moment. She's going to hell.
- [36:56]
A
Like, like she's a.
- [36:57]
B
She's a cult leader. Can we just take a. I just have to go on a rant. Mary Cosby is excellent tv, y'. All. And if. If you are a fan of her, I really suggest not watching that documentary because she is absolutely a cult leader. She is financially abusing the congress in her church. And I don't believe it was always a cult. But the granddaddy daddy husband situation, he groomed her very weird. That's not what her grandmother want. That was a complete lie. Also, it was a prominent black church in Salt Lake City, one of the only ones for many, many years. And the reason they're so witches, because mama started all these businesses for black people. So she opened up the soul food restaurant, she opened up the beauty supply, she opened up the laundromat for black people. That's why they got all that damn money. And I said that to say Mary has committed a bunch of black on black crime. So if you like Mary, I don't think. I don't think that you should watch that because it's like, damn, she can't. You can't even.
- [37:51]
A
Not black on black crime. You can't even sit there and say.
- [37:53]
B
Oh, well, she was doing it to white people. No, this was. This was to. Yeah.
- [38:00]
A
I'm crying. I don't watch that show.
- [38:02]
B
I don't either. I don't. Salt Lake City's not my jam, but, you know.
- [38:06]
A
But she's pen, wasn't she? I think I had watched like a couple episodes.
- [38:09]
B
They're Pentecostal, but. Sorry. I had a Mary Kosh moment, though. Yeah.
- [38:16]
A
Yeah. I don't.
- [38:17]
B
I don't. I just. The way you said.
- [38:18]
A
The way you set it up.
- [38:19]
B
I said what? You said this, and you had said Epstein. I thought you were saying Jay Z followed you. I was gonna say he only follows Beyonce. He's not even on Twitter.
- [38:29]
A
None of your. None of your train of thoughts worked. Not one of them. Not one of them. Anyways, that derail, like, take a shot every time Mecca doesn't make sense. Like what? Okay, anywho, what else happened with the Grammys?
- [38:57]
B
Gaga? Oh, we said we're going to talk about Gaga and her archived Alexander McQueen Fitzgerald and her. I don't know.
- [39:04]
A
Listen, Weird Gaga is back.
- [39:07]
B
She looks the good, bro. She looks really good. I said whatever she's been doing. Because I'll say Hollywood had this era where the fillers were starting to get weird. I'm glad that everyone has. I. It's still weird because a lot of people are not like the starlets who have the money to go properly get their dissolved and redone have done it, but like, regular people have not. So when you walk outside and you see a filler, it's still giving a little weird. But I. My point is, whatever Gaga did recently, she tugged. She tugged at that face. It's tight.
- [39:44]
A
She looks really good.
- [39:45]
B
I love it.
- [39:47]
A
And she sounded really good. Something I love about Gaga as a theater queen herself. She is going to give you live vocals and. And they're crisp. And the thing is, like, of course, Gaga is a pop singer, so all of her songs are very poppy, poppy, poppy. But those vocals, those are classically trained vocals. Boo. She sounded so good, and I like the way that her voice has matured over the years as well. Like, she sounded so good.
- [40:16]
B
She. My. When she was doing this, I said, the is back.
- [40:27]
A
The rah rah is back. There we go. Yes, the monsters.
- [40:33]
B
There we go. I saw someone tweet. She could have.
- [40:38]
A
The.
- [40:38]
B
The person tweeted. She could have coasted after a star was born and just did like the normal. But she came back for the freaks, and I love her for that.
- [40:48]
A
Immediately, she was like, I have something to say.
- [40:57]
B
Yes, girls.
- [40:59]
A
How did you feel about the tributes? I will say, when Reba started singing, I did cut my dryer on no shade to Reba McIntyre. I just. You know what I'm saying? I did need to dry my failed roller set, so I had turned her on, so I didn't really hear that. But I absolutely turned that shit off for Ozzy's tribute. Y' all know I'm a rock and roll daughter. That was so good. Let me tell you something about that cracker Post Malone, baby. I don't know why you ever rapped to begin. He rocking.
- [41:30]
B
He just need a platform.
- [41:31]
A
He sounded so good. He sounded so good singing rock. I'm like, oh, this is your lane. He has so rock has a very distinct type of sound that I like to hear from my rock and roll singers. And he has that. That vocal fry, that, that grit, that growl, that even that vibrato of rock. He sounded so good. I said, post, baby, you better do that. You better do that pose. And they had slash biracial ass up there slanging and danging and laying it. I said, God damn it. Rock and roll, man. Rock and roll. It was really. They said, and then they swoop with that camera to skinny Ass Sharon.
- [42:10]
B
And them babies is going through it. Since Ozzy done died, child, they so damn skinny. Something is amiss. They it. Something is amiss. They.
- [42:20]
A
They were so skinny and sad.
- [42:22]
B
It's like they're not okay. Like, they. Like, they're not good.
- [42:26]
A
I said, ooh, Kelly, baby, grief. Kelly, baby better do that to you.
- [42:31]
B
You know what the thing is, though? She's been open about. I think.
- [42:34]
A
No, she was skinny before the grief.
- [42:36]
B
Oh, I hadn't really talked. I hadn't seen her too much.
- [42:38]
A
Oh, she was.
- [42:39]
B
But I was gonna say she's talked about she was getting disorders. Like, she has been open, I believe. But what I'm saying is grief can really intensify that. Because what I saw, I said, oh, they look.
- [42:52]
A
Oh, they listen. I felt so bad. I'm like, oh, they really.
- [42:57]
B
And I feel like that's the other thing. Not. Not only was it skinny, but it was, like, very clear. I'm sad. I miss my dad.
- [43:04]
A
Oh, they look so sad. I was like, oh, Like, I felt so emotional for them. Like, they. But it was just like, damn. Like, I know in their mind, they was probably like, my daddy can't die because he's already experienced every thing. And it's just like, damn. Ozzy really got up out of here, you know? But I really enjoyed the Ozzy tribute, and I really enjoyed the. The d' Angelo switch.
- [43:29]
B
Somebody said I loved.
- [43:30]
A
Bilal got up there.
- [43:31]
B
And someone said they loved how the tributes were. Were segregated. And I also enjoyed.
- [43:37]
A
I, too, enjoyed segregation. Segregation today, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.
- [43:51]
B
Yeah. No, I didn't want to see no white people on the d' Angelos tribute out of that.
- [43:55]
A
That would have agitated my soul.
- [43:57]
B
So.
- [43:57]
A
Y'.
- [43:57]
B
All. Y'.
- [43:58]
A
All. And it's like, if you know d'. Angelo. To know d' Angelo is to know that to get a white person up there to sing, that would have. He would have woke up. That was very adamant on. This is black music, bro. I think they sounded really good. I really enjoyed Lucky Day singing. What did he. I think he saw him Brown Sugar. He said he did really good. Leon's. I like when he went up to the octave. I didn't like the lower octave, but when he went up Octopus, he sounded really good. Raphael Sadiq got up there playing that guitar. Got up there. Oh, and one thing. I know. Can I just say this? I know Bilal is old, nasty freak. I know.
- [44:36]
B
What makes you say that?
- [44:39]
A
Have you heard Bilal's music? Have you seen him perform? He always looks like he's moaning.
- [44:43]
B
Yeah. I mean, I feel like it's in the eyes, but I just wanted to know what you. You thought.
- [44:50]
A
It'S the way that he never looks directly into the audience. He's always in his mind. He's always something, you know what I mean? And then he got up there saying untitled. I said, yeah, y' all knew. Y' all knew what to give. Allow to sing. Yeah, yeah, I needed that. I needed. They said Lauren sounded really good.
- [45:12]
B
Must have been nasty.
- [45:15]
A
Oh, you know, hello. Lauren sounded really good. I. I also love. One thing I love about singers is the way their, their voice matures over time, if taken care of properly for sure. And her voice over time has gotten so rich. She's always had a very rich and like deep voice. Like when I say deep, I mean like the depth of it. And now it's just like. It's just so. It's like crunchy. I don't even know how to describe it. There's a certain rasp and like depth that she has of her voice now. I was like, oh, I just want to eat the. This Lauren, she sounded so good when she did her. Her Roberta Flack moment. Oh my God, I was just living, living.
- [45:55]
B
Speaking of tributes, that was a long ass tribute though. Billy Porter's Mariah Carey tribute.
- [46:11]
A
Anytime Billy Porter is mentioned, I immediately think about when he gave Jasmine Sullivan the Grammy. Jasmine Sullivan Hotels. Pick up your hood feelings. That moment was so everything. I want Billy Porter to introduce me. Getting my Lynde just like that.
- [46:40]
B
I know that's right. Y'. All also Cher calling Luther. I mean, Cher calling Kendrick.
- [46:50]
A
First of all, Cher. Cher's entire moment was killing me. I said, you know What?
- [46:57]
B
She like 80 years old.
- [46:58]
A
Cher, obviously. I was gonna say Cher obviously looks the good right? Share is always a good. Yesterday reminded us that Cher is 80 years old. That was the most 80 year old I've ever seen. She said, well, I guess I'm just gonna go now. Bye. So I was walking, bring your ass. And she said, oh, okay. Talk about some. Oh, I thought it was gonna get up on the jumbo. She said, oh, Luther Vangross. The way. I know this is so bad the way I talk it.
- [47:32]
B
And that's why you can't trust no nigga from Oakland.
- [47:34]
A
Only thing a nigga from Oakland can do for me, the way a role.
- [47:37]
B
In his next film, Ryan Kukla.
- [47:41]
A
The way. I know for a fact that Cher immediately read that and thought that Luther actually won that Grammy and forgot that was dead for a second. I know for a fact that she forgot that was dead for a second because she got so basic. Oh, it was.
- [47:58]
B
She.
- [47:59]
A
She was watching all them get on stage. Like, well, now what who the is.
- [48:04]
B
Have you ever been like, if you have like older grandparents but like the way old people do, be forgetting people have died. That's why it's like.
- [48:12]
A
Especially if it was people who they.
- [48:14]
B
Was like around for a long time, it'd be. It'd be kind of sad too. It's like, oh, she died. And then the way they just. Was she.
- [48:28]
A
But she looked good, though.
- [48:30]
B
So. Shout out. I' ma have my face pulled back. She looked good. My face. The fuck.
- [48:35]
A
Oh, God.
- [48:36]
B
It ain't never gonna drop. I never give. I don't give a damn. More fuck.
- [48:39]
A
You know, Jackie looks about her face.
- [48:41]
B
Mind you, she's. She's only like a few months post op. They settle. It usually takes a year for them to really settle in. Hers looks so good. Already she looks. I like how natural it is.
- [48:53]
A
And that's the thing, guys, and this is no shade, but I seen someone on Tik Tok who got a facelift at 40 something. And while you have full aut timing to do whatever you want to do, for sure, if you want the best results, you should probably wait till you.
- [49:07]
B
Have something to talk with facelift technology. Now, they're not full facelifts though. So what they're doing is like Anne Hathaway had the way that they're. So historically, they used to literally cut your face like a Joan Rivers and pull the whole thing back. Now it's like since we age and this is the first area to drop, it's like they're lifting certain parts of your face up one by one. So the girls aren't like, Anne Hathaway didn't get a full facelift. Lindsay Lohan didn't get a full facelift. They got like specific parts lifted, which is why they look really good and kind of. And natural. You know, that's just my spiel. But it is recommended that you wait till you're around 45.
- [49:52]
A
Please don't get in the facelift.
- [49:53]
B
30 is crazy. 30 is crazy. You should be doing micro needling. You could be doing prp, prf, PDGF sculpture. Like, there are so many. Like, a facelift at 30 is insane. Unless you've lost a lot of weight and you have like, you know, you've lost elasticity in your skin.
- [50:09]
A
Facebook at 40 is crazy too. Like, we gotta just. You know what I'm saying?
- [50:13]
B
Like, just sometimes. But you know what?
- [50:15]
A
Sometimes the faceless.
- [50:17]
B
I mean, a lot of times faceless alter the way people look. So people are. The girls are also looking for that they might not want to look like themselves for getting a face up. It's like, that's gonna pull. It's gonna make my eye shape different. People do be going for a specific look, too.
- [50:36]
A
Okay.
- [50:38]
B
But also, I feel like I'm black. No shade. So some of the struggles, I genuinely.
- [50:47]
A
Like, if I was to, you know, if I was, like, to get, like, a nose job or something. I never will, by the way, but, like, this is genuine. I think what I think would happen, like, say, if I, for whatever reason, thought I need to get, like, facial reconstruction surgery, I genuinely think I would wake up, look at myself in the mirror, have an existential crisis, and kill myself.
- [51:07]
B
That I won't say it happens. It does happen. Sometimes people have, like, mental breaks because they're not used to looking like that.
- [51:14]
A
I cannot eat. Like, that would really stress me out. Like, I would literally be like, I think I would like that. I kind of, like, have a panic attack thinking about that now. I once broke out really, really bad from using Noxzema, and my face broke out in hives. And I literally had a panic attack because I couldn't. Like, my face was so fucked up and I didn't look like myself. And I was literally screaming on the phone to Jasmine. I was screaming like, I. And I could barely breathe. Like, I literally. Things like that really send me into psychosis. It don't take much. Thankfully. That didn't last very long, but, like, I can't imagine altering my face. I can imagine altering these titties, though. Check back.
- [52:05]
B
Fun fact.
- [52:06]
A
I won't give you guys my surgery date just yet because I don't want anybody praying on my downfall.
- [52:11]
B
Well, I mean, my surgery date is tomorrow, so by the time.
- [52:16]
A
Well, by the time this drop, it'll.
- [52:17]
B
Be so I'm getting a back lift, guys. I'm really excited about it. It's part of the reason I braided my hair. I feel like it is gonna hurt. But I've been watching a lot of videos, and they say after day two, you're pretty much straight, so it's not going to be too much. I definitely plan on making content about my recovery process, though.
- [52:38]
A
Yes. Tune into the Patreon.
- [52:40]
B
The Patreon Shout to the screw crew. We've been pre recording, so this week, we're dropping Elijah's episode of Sidebar. Elijah, AKA Kishikolo Brother. And we definitely asked him about some questions about Keisha Cole.
- [52:54]
A
Yes.
- [52:55]
B
That was a good key.
- [52:56]
A
I love that. And let us know who you want us to interview next. We do have our like, kind of like a working list that we're kind of like going to be reaching out. But let us know who y' all want to see on sidebar and if you're not familiar with sidebar sidebar is a Patreon exclusive, exclusive series where we interview your favorite content creators about, you know, whatever we feel like talking about at that time. Especially if they have some mess going on, you know, we're gonna have to. Yeah, it's a Patreon exclusive. So let us know who y' all want to see. Men, women, they view the vibes. Whomever, whomever you you want to want to see. And we'll definitely do our due diligence to reach out and, and bring them on. But with all that being said, let's spin it.
- [53:38]
B
All right, this is our segment. Spin it where you guys send us your low down gutter snipe disgusting situations that really showcase the fact that you have no morals. PR is not an ethical career field. So it really, it's okay in this context. Keep in mind that Jamila and I are not PR professionals. We just studied communications in undergraduate and we really, really love to talk about it. Email@unhingedanimoralpodmail.com if you would like a PR spin and some advice. Put on your disgusting ass decisions. Don't forget to send us your ages, your genders, your sexual orientations, your political affiliations, and if you're a man, your height. Jameela, what do we have this week?
- [54:32]
A
It's kind of a long one. Dear Mecca and Jamila, let me start off by saying I love the podcast and everything you guys do on social media. I've been following y' all for a few months now and every day I look forward to what you guys have to talk about. I think I'm a year older than both of you and if we have and I think I'm a year older than both of you and if we had all went to the same college, I felt like we would have been great friends, period. Period. Hey friend. I love you guys.
- [54:56]
B
Spin it.
- [54:57]
A
I love you. You know I can't read. I love you guys. Spend your listeners messiness. So I thought it would be good to share my experience and I need some advice on this guy I'm seeing. I've been dating this guy I went to college with since May of last year. Also guys, let me preface by this was sent March 6th. Now I know some of y' all were like a a spin it from March. Listen guys, I don't think Y' all understand how many spinas we received?
- [55:23]
B
We. We received a lot of statements and we're gonna read all of them. That's the thing, right?
- [55:28]
A
It's like keep sending them guys. But also, you know, when we did our interviews, we didn't do the spinning. So like we're gonna do something exclusive.
- [55:36]
B
Anyways, like just spinning episodes on Patreon to kind of go through them.
- [55:40]
A
Yes, sorry. I just wanted to get that out there. That way you can understand the time frame. Let me go back to that. I've been dating this guy I went to college with since May of last year. Although he graduated a couple years before I did. We ended up finding each other on H. Disclosing too much identifying information. I'm a therapist, so it's a habit. Call me Slim and let's call him Serpent. He has green eyes. He's evil. I can tell you now, Serpent is overall a great guy. He has a stable career in finance, pledged alpha and comes with a strong two parent household. I initially didn't like him when we first started dating because he talks too much. I want to believe he has under eye undiagnosed adhd. Now how I get in it. But eventually he grew on me. He makes me laugh. He's a great listener and pays attention to every detail. He also plans our dates very well. Although I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm tired of the scholarship men I've dated in my 20s either had mommy issues, daddy issues, or both. Poor communications or not good at handling uncomfortable conversations. While Serpent has none of these issues, he is recovering from a relationship of four years and has more than likely processed it in therapy. We love black, black men who go to therapy. It's been almost three years since his breakup, but he claims he is not ready for us to become serious because he is not where he wants to be yet. He shares a condo with his roommate, shares a car with his twin sister until he can purchase a new one, and is working on paying down his overall debt. I respect where he is at, but I feel that he is playing with me. I. I too am working on myself. I'm a therapist. I live alone. I'm not where I want to be just yet either. However, comma, I like, I like him. I like him as he is. I feel like we would be a great couple. I would further love the idea of us working on our individually while together. For Valentine's Day, he planned a beautiful weekend in the city. We're from Chicago, bought me flowers. The Whole nine. Although we had an uncomfortable conversation that further confirmed he is not ready for a relationship. It was sad because I really like him and this triggers my rejection abandonment wounds. Since then, it's been awkward for me. Our conversation are pretty brief and spaced out, partially because I see five to seven clients a day. But I also need my space, as I usually. As I usually text him between sessions since I've since re downloaded Hinge, which is not what I wanted. But I'm no longer in the business of waiting for a man to get their shit together or decide if they want to be with me. Nothing good ever comes from that. I need my last name dropped and my eggs cracked. I would love to hear your spinning on this situation. I'm at a crossroads on trying to figure out if I should distance myself or give him more time. Love, y'.
- [58:24]
B
All. And she said she's a year older than us, so that means she's 30 or she's about to be 31. Sister, you the therapist. You already know that. That's the thing. You.
- [58:34]
A
You already done told us, but you both. You the therapist.
- [58:37]
B
Asking us. You're the therapist now. I can. I can give you a little PR spin and tell you how I think you should leave this nigga alone. But like.
- [58:47]
A
You.
- [58:48]
B
First of all, he from Chicago. Ain't he a alpha? Sister, Sister, you do. You played. You played so hard right now, sis. Well, I feel like, you know, people react to being 32 different ways. You either reach your stride where you feel like, my God, I'm a woman. I don't want to settle down, or you reach the point where it's like, I feel like I need to settle down. And I honestly think from what it sounds like, it's more so the fact that you want to be married. Like you said, you want your last name dropped and your eggs cracked. That's even making you question, like, should I give this a chance? This. Clearly he doesn't have a car, and he lives with his roommate, and it's.
- [59:47]
A
Like, oh, he does have a car. He said he's sharing the car with his.
- [59:51]
B
No. So he doesn't have a car.
- [59:53]
A
I feel like that still happens.
- [59:56]
B
If your sister is using the car, then you don't have a car.
- [59:59]
A
And she just.
- [60:00]
B
She just. She just said they 31. So you're 31, sharing a car with your twin. That's some twins do at 21.
- [60:10]
A
I mean, times is hard. Cars are expensive. He clearly ain't got no good credit.
- [60:14]
B
And, sister, you're a therapist. I. You Know, it seems like you are a little bit independent and got your together. You don't need to be trying to drop your last name and take the last name of a who has all this going on financially anyway. You don't need to get pregnant by a who's caring, who's sharing a car with his twin sister. That shouldn't. That can't be the goal. That can't be the goal.
- [60:43]
A
Here's what I say. I think that having the goal of marriage is great, right? You want to be married, you want to have kids, you want to have a family. That's great. I do, however, think that sometimes when you are really, really wanting that sometimes you start to put unnecessary pressure on yourself. And that unnecessary pressure then turns into you feeling like a sense of rushness, right? And I'm not saying that's what's happening here. You are still relatively young, and I guess my question to you is, and you already said you redownload change, so that's great. If y' all are not in a relationship, why is that the only person you're entertaining? And I say that. And I know some people don't like to date multiple people at a time. It can confuse and all the things. And I, and I understand that. I definitely was there at some point. But you also have to think about the type of person that you are when you're dating. If you're the type of person that is like, my man, my man, my man. I don't see. Maybe you need to slow down and slow your pace because now you're thinking this has to be your husband when this could just be somebody that you're dating. Just, you know what I'm saying? And no shade, sister, if he, he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, whether that's now or ever. You do know that because he's told you more than once. And y' all are, you know, y' all are dating and it seems like you're having a good time. It seems like you like him. Seems like he's a, I guess a nice guy or whatever. And that's cool and all. But if he is not aligning with your actual goals, then that's your answer as well. If you feel is. And I don't know how long y' all have been dating. So I think that's the thing as well. I know you said he's been out of a relationship for three years, but you didn't say that y' all were, you know, dating for three years. I don't know how long y' all have been dating specifically, but if y' all have only been dating for a few months, I also think it's kind of like, you know what I'm saying?
- [62:44]
B
Again, it's the age thing. Like, you start feeling like you need to be married, you need to start having kids. You start feeling the pressures of your biological clock. I. I mean, I can be honest and say, as someone who doesn't have kids, I thought about it like, okay, well, this. Because the biological clock is a real clock. So I'm not saying you're wrong, but I do think that those desires are clouding your judgment because I, I do feel like if you took the fact that you want to be married out of it and that you want babies, this wouldn't even be a question.
- [63:19]
A
And I think, like, maybe you can if, if you feel like this is really your man. Like, if you feel like this is the man that you really see yourself.
- [63:26]
B
With.
- [63:29]
A
And he has, you know, all the good things. Right. Maybe it's time to change the conversation. Right? Maybe it's not. What are we? What are we? I want to be with you. Maybe it's, hey, this is what I want from you. This is what I want from us. What does that look like for you? And how can we get there? What are the steps that we need to take together to where we can get to this point? That's a different, mature conversation that is a little uncomfortable, but it's. It. I feel like that conversation is a lot better to have when you, especially in this age, because it's solution based. Right. And it doesn't put this pressure of what are we right now? Like, make a decision right now, today? Because that can be a little jarring for someone who's not ready to make those decisions versus, hey, listen, I love you. I like you, I feel these things about you, and I am totally understanding the position that you're in right now, and I want to respect that. But I also want to let you know that this is what I want from us. Is that something that you could see happening with me? And if he agrees, like, yeah, I do see that happening. Okay, well, how can we get.
- [64:32]
B
And honestly, what's.
- [64:34]
A
What can I do to make you feel comfortable to get there? And what can you do for me? How can we as a team work together to get to this end goal?
- [64:42]
B
If you're, like, from a PR perspective? I think that the conversation, you should approach it and you can even make a joke, like, you know, this is something that we like I've been asking you, but this is where. This is what I want. Like, I think you should just be completely honest and be like, this is what I want for myself for the next five years. Is this also what you want for yourself? And do you see this with me? Like, I don't even think this should be a PR spin, per se. This should just be a like, what the like and not what the are we doing more so. Because this is how I've been having conversations as I get older too. It's like, I' ma let you know what I want. I can't make no do anything he don't want to do, period. You're not gonna make no be your man who don't want to be your man. All I can do is tell the I want a man.
- [65:28]
A
So.
- [65:29]
B
So what do you want? And if you also want a woman, okay, now the next question is, am I. Would I be your woman? Do you see that happening? I think, I think you should lead with, this is what I want.
- [65:40]
A
This is.
- [65:41]
B
This is what I want. And on the flip just in my experience, it also kind of tricks your brain to making yourself stay accountable to yourself. Because I feel like a lot of times, especially when you're. When we're younger as well as women and girls, it's like, oh, you'd be like, I would. I don't want to do that. But you like that boy so much that you find yourself doing stuff you would never do. So if you pull up on him and tell him, this is what I want, if you don't move like that, it makes you look like a pushover, it makes you look stupid, and you'll never really get what you want because he's not actually going to respect you. So it puts you in a position where you have to stay true to your wants and your desires and yourself, regardless of what he says.
- [66:24]
A
And operating from the assumption that he's a good guy. Because from what you were explaining, you didn't say that like, he's not a good guy, right? So I'm just gonna operate to say that like, he. He's good, right? Despite knowing that Chicago I'm going to and has green.
- [66:40]
B
I completely forgot that part. It's like you said, he's a good guy and then named low vibrational characteristics. You know what I mean?
- [66:49]
A
We're gonna say that you struck gold, right? So let's say that he's a great guy. We're operating within that frame of thinking. And like I said, you want this to be your man. And you said that. And let's also pretend that, like, him not being over his relationship trauma is also a thing. You also. He's in therapy.
- [67:06]
B
Okay, cool.
- [67:07]
A
Let's. Let's say that all that is happening, this is gonna. This just rock with me. These are. These are mature ideas, guys, so just let me rock. I think you can also ask him, hey, is there anything that I can do to reassure you in this space right now, getting into a relationship, Is there something that I can do on my end to help you feel as though there is a security within our relationship? And I think that that's a good beginner question to start having a conversation about how you can leave that. Relate that past relationship trauma alone and focus on the present. Because the same can be said in reverse. Like if you were in a. And I can speak from. From my perspective, being in a past relationship, that was all of the things, right? And having to unpack that trauma so that I can focus on newer relationships. If a man was to ask me that, how would I answer, right? Like, if a man was to say, hey, listen, I know you've had all this relationship trauma, but I'm ready to lock this down, and I really want to. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Is there anything that I can do to reassure you in this way so that you don't feel this old relationship trauma coming up? What were the things that happened in that relationship that is causing you to feel all this anguish? Sometimes you gotta kind of go backwards to kind of go forward, right? So, yes, he's working through all that relationship trauma with his therapist, but if you're. If you trying to be his woman, you should probably also understand what's going on within that relationship, that past relationship as well, so that you can figure out what those things are as well.
- [68:51]
B
Yeah, absolutely. Sorry. I was taking a video for my vlog, TikTok, as Jamila was talking.
- [68:59]
A
But yeah, you know what I'm saying, sister girl? And something you're gonna also have to understand is this may not be. He's not the.
- [69:13]
B
For you.
- [69:13]
A
This may not be your husband. And that's okay too. You're not that money. This was sitting Mark, girl.
- [69:21]
B
You're not with that. You're not with that.
- [69:24]
A
I would love to not with that. I would love to know the update. Sometimes men will kind of like, drag you along because it's just, like, easy. It's just like, I mean, you're. You're still here. But that's why I say you, You. You need to figure out what. You got to kind of stand firm in those boundaries. For me, in the space that I'm in, I'm not necessarily. I'm not in the space that you're in. Right. I'm not being like, I need. I'm not looking for a marriage today. You know what I'm saying? And I'm not dating with that intention in mind currently. So I'm in a place where I'm very fluid in the expectations. I'm trying not to give too much of my personal business out there. Y' all know me. Mystery cat.
- [70:07]
B
What's the. What's the name?
- [70:11]
A
Oh, brother. But it's just. It's. It's a lot. I do feel a lot less pressure, though, because I'm not doing that. I'm. I'm able to kind of just. I exist within these situations, and I think that. And I'm not telling you that you should take that away because your want is your want. But I'm saying is don't let that be your motivation for talking to somebody. Let that be your subtle goal. Right? Your timeline, your. The things that you consider within the compatibility. Right. I'm not saying let that go because that's what you want and that's what you're ready to do. You deserve that. But don't let that be your only motivation, talking to these. Because you will absolutely ignore certain things just to get that. That ring. And then you're gonna be pissed when you getting divorced two years later.
- [70:58]
B
Yeah. I also think, you know, by. By you having a child, that. That's a big part of this as well. And I'm. I'm just speaking from my own experience. I'm past this, but I do absolutely feel and empathize with the. Okay, so am I gonna have a baby? And I. I really feel like that's the piece of. I mean, you said you wanted your. You want to drop your last name and you want your eggs crack. When you get to the age where you feel like you should have a baby and you become aware of your biological clock, it can absolutely cloud your judgment because you're focused on getting that baby, right? And you will have a baby with the. You don't need to have a baby with. And I think that's the real mistake that a lot of women make, because there are.
- [71:44]
A
Who are ready to have a baby.
- [71:45]
B
They're feeling the pressure just like we are. I'm telling you, being outside the boys. The boys are age already to get married.
- [71:52]
A
And.
- [71:52]
B
And if that's really your Goal and desire. You need to leave this the alone. Because I'm saying this is someone who felt like this a couple years ago. I no longer feel like this about having a kids. I keep running into the who, let's have a baby today. Like, I, like, I want to settle down. Like, so they're, they're out there, they're feeling the same pressure we're feeling. And if that's really the end goal, then I think that you need to be more focused on dating and alignment and dating someone who is also very interested in settling down and starting a family. That, that would be like the first step.
- [72:26]
A
And since we're talking about biological clock, let me kind of put you at ease a little bit, sister. You have time. With our medical advances, I, I do believe they have actually extended, expanded what is considered a geriatric pregnancy, which was once 35. I believe they extended it to 40 just to kind of put your, your, you know, biological clock at ease. Like, so if you're, you're probably about to turn 31, sister. You know what I'm saying? Like I was gonna say, a lot can change in a year. Girl.
- [73:02]
B
It's been almost a year. Let us know what the hell going on right now.
- [73:05]
A
You know what I mean? Right. I don't want you. And that's the thing. A lot of the girls start climbing to 30 and it's like, oh my gosh, I haven't made it today. I'm. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Okay? And guess what? And I have to say this. I have. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I have to say this. If you never have a baby, you are okay too. And I know that y' all probably don't want to hear that, especially from a who has a baby, but I don't want your self worth to be wrapped up in something that is not guaranteed. And I tell this all the time. That's why I've also made peace with myself about the possibility of never getting married. Because that's not something I can guarantee. I don't want your self worth to be wrapped up in something that you cannot control or you cannot guarantee. And also, you can adopt. I know a lot of people have their feelings about adoption, but there are some babies out there who deserve some. Some parents who want to be parents. And so just some perspective to think about because it's something that I think we should talk about. I think a lot of people are really obsessed with the idea of having biological children. And if you get to that place where maybe you discover you're not able to. Now you're, now you're depressed and now you're feeling all these things and you're feeling a lack of self worth. You're feeling like you did something wrong. You're feeling all of these internal feelings. And, and I 100 understand it. And I don't think nobody doesn't understand it. But I want you to understand that you are still all of the things that you are. Your life is not now in vain because you were not able to birth a child. Your humanity is not taken away. Your womanhood is not taken away because of that. Like, because I know that there's a lot of women out there who deal with infertility issues or who deal with maybe I just never found the right partner and maybe I'm, maybe I'm never gonna get married. Maybe I did not ever find my right person. You are still that.
- [75:18]
B
Okay, that girl.
- [75:21]
A
Think about all the things that you've done in your life. Focus on being the best you that you can be and focus on being fulfilled within yourself. And anything else is.
- [75:30]
B
And I'll say this, that we could be done with it. As a who doesn't have a baby and felt like this two years ago, the moment I step stepped back, I let go of expectations and I really started doing things to fulfill myself. I could have a baby. I would say maybe I want a baby, maybe I don't. But I know that I, if I don't ever have a baby, I will be just fine. And I think that all the girls should do the work to get to the point where if it doesn't happen, you don't feel like a failure. And I do. And I listen to, I love watching older women talk about life decisions, talk about things. And you do have a lot of older women who say, maybe if I had, I, I, maybe I should have put more focus on my personal life or my, my romantic relationship. Blase, blase. But something I, I've also noticed with the same women, they have like a piece with it, if it makes sense. A piece that when you talk to mothers who maybe didn't pour into themselves, it doesn't come off like regret. So when you watch like childless women who are thriving in their lives just be like, you know, I'm thriving. I love my life. And I can acknowledge that maybe I should have did this because I would have liked to be a mother. But it's not like said, with a sense of regret. It's more said just like I'm just really examining and reflecting and that Would have been nice to do, but I didn't do it. And I like my life where with the counterpart with the moms and they're discussing their regrets with kids and how they didn't pour into themselves. It really seems like regret. And that always really stands out to me. I would much rather be the woman who is still very much happy in my life, so happy with my life that I'm able to reflect and be like, that would have been cool to.
- [77:12]
A
Do, but you know, I did do.
- [77:13]
B
It and now I'm here and you know, life is life and I'm still having fun.
- [77:21]
A
Absolutely, child. Listen, don't nobody got the answer to life. And we sure don't have an answer to relationships. And that's always whenever I see people. Let me tell you something right now. If anybody ever tells you they are a relationship expert liar and don't believe a ass thing that they say. These relationship coaches, these dating coaches, they can give you some tips and tricks about what? Like, nobody really knows the keys to dating. Because the truth of the matter is, guys, we're all so different. We're like, we're just all so different. And it's just one of those things, like it's gonna happen or it's not gonna happen, it's gonna be awkward, it's gonna be weird, it's gonna be complex. Every time you date someone new, that's a new human being that you're encountering. Think about all the new people that you've met in this world and none of them became your friend. So now it's like talking about lovers.
- [78:27]
B
Bro.
- [78:27]
A
What? It's, it's, it's just a game, you know, it's, it's, it's literally a game of Sims.
- [78:35]
B
We're in the Sims.
- [78:36]
A
Like, and, and you know what I'm saying? You, I think the best thing you can do is experience it and just fully, like, dive into the experience. And you know what I'm saying? If that experience ends, then it ends. You can't be on a roller coaster forever. Sometimes, sometimes you got to get off that, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes you got to get on the Ferris wheel, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes you got to get a fried Oreo.
- [79:04]
B
Well, that was profound.
- [79:11]
A
I am a philosopher.
- [79:12]
B
Sometimes you got to get a fried Oreo. Okay? Sometimes you gotta get a fried Oreo. Sometimes you gotta get a big ass turkey leg. I don't know. Sometimes you gotta get a deep fried piece of cheesecake. And guess what?
- [79:24]
A
Sometimes you got to go home.
- [79:27]
B
Sometimes you can't stay.
- [79:33]
A
Sometimes you need.
- [79:37]
B
Sometimes you're not tall enough for the ride. Good.
- [79:44]
A
Sometimes you take one right.
- [79:48]
B
Sometimes you don't got a fast pass. Sometimes you don't got enough money for the $20. $20 sandwich, $20 bottle of water.
- [80:01]
A
Amen. Amen.
- [80:05]
B
Well, it's rough. Thank you for listening to another episode of Unhinged. Tomorrow, don't forget to become a part of our screw crew. Our Patreon subscribers get a bunch of exclusive content. We have our sidebar series where we talk to other creators and we kiki and chat with them. We also have our screwballs, which could probably be akin to Donkey of the Day. We say screw you to whatever person, place or thing we feel like talking about or who has done something stupid. And then we have our Slumber party series, which is more of a for when me and Jamila are in person. But we get a little loose on there and talk a little bit more about our business. Business. Jamila doesn't act so much like a smooth vagina Barbie on there during summer party.
- [80:50]
A
Perhaps you'll get a little one. Where'd she get a little too? But that's what makes Patreon so fun. It's exclusive. It's only for the cool kids.
- [80:58]
B
Also, like we said, the top. Our Patreon subscribers will start. We're gonna go live and be including them in the chat. So it's like y' all will get to see this episode before the third Thursday drop. Instead of doing early releases. Y' all are going to get to see it live. Well, it'll still be early release because it'll be uploaded. You get what I'm trying to say?
- [81:18]
A
Any other church announcements?
- [81:20]
B
I really think that covered everything.
- [81:27]
A
Oh, also, like you said, Mecca is getting her surgery this week, so check back into the Patreon. I'm sure she'll give some updates.
- [81:32]
B
Maybe. Maybe, baby.
- [81:37]
A
Yes. That's all I can think of. Subscribe to the Patreon live show.
- [81:44]
B
Shout out to J. Hill. He is Joe Jackson.
- [81:50]
A
We are definitely going to start the conversation and the planning process for a live show. It will be after I get my titties. I can tell you that right now.
- [82:02]
B
So.
- [82:04]
A
No, take that out, Jay, take that out.
- [82:06]
B
Were we not supposed to say the date?
- [82:09]
A
No, I'm not saying the date. Jay, take that date out when you edit this. Thank you.
- [82:13]
B
What's the timestamp? So you can just text him at 1:20?
- [82:17]
A
Yeah, 120. Anyways, now that being said.
- [82:24]
B
See you guys next week from taco night in Tulum to sushi in Tokyo. Make every bite rewarding with gold from Emmett Wherever you dine four times Membership rewards points at restaurants worldwide are piling up. Learn more@americanexpress.com Explore Gold terms and Points Cap apply.