Stubby Body Bih & The Art of The Clapback

Summary

Podcast Summary: Unhinged & Immoral – "Stubby Body Bih & The Art of The Clapback" (May 1, 2025)

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Introduction to Clapbacks and Community Dynamics

In this episode of Unhinged & Immoral, hosts Mecca and Jamila Bell delve into the nuanced art of clapbacks, exploring how to effectively handle criticism both online and in personal interactions. The discussion begins with a humorous exchange about Ryan Coogler's movie Sinners and transitions smoothly into the core topic of mastering the clapback.

Key Discussions and Insights

1. Understanding Clapbacks (09:00 - 15:25)

   Mecca introduces the concept of clapbacks, emphasizing their importance when facing provoked or unprovoked attacks. She states, “...you have to know the art of the clap back sometimes” (09:07). Jamila and Mecca discuss the effectiveness of simple, truth-rooted insults over deep, personal digs.

   Notable Quote:

   • Jamila (12:32): “...the best reads are things that are true, that you just flipped and made not only an insult, but making it funny.”

2. Celebrity Examples of Effective Clapbacks (12:12 - 20:36)

   The hosts analyze celebrity clapbacks, particularly from The Real Housewives series, highlighting how these reads remain impactful by staying grounded in truth. They reference Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus’s interactions as prime examples of how to respond without appearing desperate or overly aggressive.

   Notable Quote:

   • Mecca (19:05): “You have to know the art of the clap back sometimes... what's important is that you really have to understand the read has to make sense, and it has to be true.”

3. Strategies for Effective Clapbacks (20:02 - 29:32)

   Jamila and Mecca discuss when to respond and when to let things go, citing Beyoncé's masterful approach to ignoring baseless criticisms. They emphasize the power of silence and strategic responses to maintain dignity and authority.

   Notable Quote:

   • Mecca (22:00): “...there comes a time where you have to dig for a bitch's character... but sometimes, you just have to let a bitch have it and still just look stupid.”

4. Age Dynamics and Respect in Interactions (39:30 - 46:58)

   The conversation shifts to the dynamics of age in interactions, particularly on the internet. The hosts highlight the importance of respecting generational differences and the impact of how younger and older individuals communicate. They critique the lack of respect some adults show towards younger generations and stress that respect should be mutual and earned, not just granted based on age.

   Notable Quote:

   • Jamila (41:01): “There was never... like, you're just equal... there was never... And this is to the gentle parents, not the passive parents.”

5. Community Building and Planting Roots (58:28 - 67:57)

   Mecca and Jamila explore the significance of planting roots within communities, drawing parallels to historical migrations and the importance of maintaining strong community ties. They stress that while modern lifestyles involve frequent relocations, establishing a sense of community remains crucial for personal and collective growth.

   Notable Quote:

   • Mecca (62:52): “Planting roots is important. Our generation is really keen on moving around, but we still do need to start learning how to plant roots within this new cycle of life and opportunities.”

6. Matriarchal Roles and Transitioning Leadership (34:08 - 47:43)

   The hosts discuss the evolving roles of women as matriarchs within their families and communities. They highlight the responsibility of their generation to step into leadership roles as elders pass on, ensuring the continuity of cultural and communal values.

   Notable Quote:

   • Jamila (35:33): “When you have to let a bitch have it, when it's just like, I'mma... Just let a bitch have that one, sister.”

Listener Engagement and Real-Life Scenarios

In the latter part of the episode, Mecca and Jamila engage with listener comments and questions, providing personalized advice and spinning real-life scenarios into entertaining and insightful narratives. They address topics ranging from navigating dating dynamics to dealing with workplace challenges, all while maintaining their signature unfiltered and humorous tone.

Notable Listener Interaction:

• A listener named Elise shares her dilemma about a non-exclusive relationship and seeks advice on handling her ego without publicly posting about her ex. Mecca responds with strategic advice to utilize the man's resources for career advancement while distancing emotionally, advising, “use him to get above him in that career field, then say, fuck that nigga” (52:40).

Conclusion: Empowerment and Community Support

The episode wraps up with a strong emphasis on self-confidence, community support, and the importance of maintaining one's roots. Mecca and Jamila encourage listeners to build and sustain their communities, plant roots, and handle conflicts with grace and strategic assertiveness.

Final Notable Quote:

• Mecca (66:40): “We have to learn how to plant those seeds.”

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Conclusion

"Stubby Body Bih & The Art of The Clapback" offers a blend of humor, real-life anecdotes, and practical advice on handling interpersonal conflicts and maintaining community ties. Mecca and Jamila Bell provide valuable insights into the mechanics of effective communication, the significance of respect across generations, and the enduring importance of building and sustaining strong communities. This episode is a comprehensive guide for anyone looking to navigate the complexities of modern social interactions with confidence and authenticity.

Transcript

[Mecca]

Going in that cash hall. Walk in the booth like Naomi on the catwalk and tell them from the Jaguar, it ain't even right, though Push me and I might go, she ain't getting money. I'm like, what the. A hype foe when the bite flow make my appetite go poof. Gone. Voila. Magic. Looking mad good just to pull up on them ramping.

[Jamila]

Welcome back to another episode of Unhinged. Anymore.

[Mecca]

I'm Mecca and I'm Jamila, and I'm so happy to be here this morning.

[Jamila]

Great.

[Mecca]

That was so fake.

[Jamila]

I mean, yeah.

[Mecca]

Welcome, welcome.

[Jamila]

All right, where do we start? What's going on?

[Mecca]

There's so many things going on. What a life we live, what a. What a medium we experience in life. I think that being a lady experiencing life, it just makes you. It just makes you think about all the things I feel like I'm feeling all of my senses, you know? We are in a medium where we are experiencing joy through the movie. Sinners shout out to Ryan Coogler and the whole cast and crew.

[Jamila]

Thought we were gonna get into that later in the episode, but you just brought it on up.

[Mecca]

You know, I just had to say thank you for real artistry coming back. My God, it was very refreshing. And in the same week, we're experiencing chaos on TikTok yet again. It seems as though we only get about four business days of freedom on TikTok. And then there's something again, and it's just kind of a wave cycle, and it's quite interesting to witness.

[Jamila]

But, hey, first, let me just say I don't ever like to give Oakland niggas nothing. But, Ryan, you did that. You did that. I never said that. Niggas from Oakland don't eat cat. And they're not freaky deaky ass motherfuckers. I said that. They not shit. And they do be acting homeless sometimes, but there's a reason they're able to act homeless. Do you know what I'm saying? They're able to move in and. And act homeless because they be fucking.

[Mecca]

Good in eating cat, right?

[Jamila]

Ask Cher.

[Mecca]

And, you know, I thought that that was quite an interesting choice to add such intimacy and freak nastiness into that movie. Ryan, we see it. He said.

[Jamila]

He said, eat that cat when it got a little. A little twang to it.

[Mecca]

Shout out to his wife, who is pregnant again. I know that's right.

[Jamila]

He don't get up off her. He don't get up. He stayed between them legs, child. Yeah.

[Mecca]

And she lets him. I.

[Jamila]

That's Right from the gym, I said, oh, and if you ever have had a n try and get with you fresh from the gym.

[Mecca]

Men actually scare me. How Sometimes they're not scared of anything.

[Jamila]

No, no. But you know what it is? Like, this is literally a primal. Like, it's a pheromone thing.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

Like, because when you. Right when you work out your pheromones, and that's why men like you, be like, oh, I'm sweaty. I was just exerting a whole bunch of energy. Be like.

[Mecca]

And let me just be the first to say, I don't like pheromones. You funky. N. Keep that funky shit away from me. I don't know. I like when a nigga is like, stank mustache.

[Jamila]

No, I don't like. I don't want the nigga to stank. I like when if it's like, they still trying to be on me, I'm like, well, yes. Well, yes. You should want me off the bone at every moment.

[Mecca]

Any moment.

[Jamila]

Any given time.

[Mecca]

I'd be a little freaked out. I don't. I don't know. I'd be like, oh, n. But hey.

[Jamila]

If you want, can I go splash the water?

[Mecca]

What Fene say I got freshen up. I've been. I walked here. That was so. That was so realistic.

[Jamila]

That was. You know what's so crazy? I wore that boho skirt to. We went to Leland House. They had this around the corner. One more. Again, it's a part of your time. And that boho skirt I lit. That's crazy that you brought that up. Because I thought of Herlene. Because by the end of the night, I was like, so damn.

[Mecca]

Mecca. Turn your. Your gay down a little bit. Turn that shit down. Cause she already excited. This bitch already excited, screaming, already talking about her dead pussy walking around moist.

[Jamila]

It wasn't even from being excited. It was because it's so humid and hot and I was walking around. I wasn't. That's what I said. Pearlene said. I watch here.

[Mecca]

Relatable content.

[Jamila]

That's what I'm saying. You got a little thigh and.

[Mecca]

Oh, girl, that twat gets, you know, percolating and you know what I'm saying, The heat and the humidity, the wind sometimes can't get up in there and cool off and dry it and dry it. Everything you be having to that.

[Jamila]

And underneath the titties and a little. Listen, don't act like you got to be aroused to be. Have a little moistness down there. Hold on.

[Mecca]

We got crevices, creases and Folds, things can get. This is the South Moist.

[Jamila]

You know the south where I'm in the South, Beloved. Wait, what? Gigi said you need that. That them deodorants with the chemicals out here.

[Mecca]

I need that deodorant with as much aluminum and cyan or whatever the fuck else is in there. Bitch, I need. I need whatever the f. Embalming fluid y'all put in that bitch. I'm not gonna walk around smelling like no goddamn gorilla. No.

[Jamila]

And you know my people old. I'm good for putting it. Now, you're not supposed to put the baby powder right up in your cooch no more. You don't wanna. You don't wanna get the cancer down there, but.

[Mecca]

Cause, baby, they was. They was making cream pies with that powder and that puss back in the day.

[Jamila]

Bitch.

[Mecca]

You wanna hear something?

[Jamila]

One of my, like, earliest memories. My grandmother, God rest her soul, we was getting ready for church, and my mama was doing something, and she was, like, getting ready, watching me. And I can distinctly remember my grandma pulling up her girdle and then taking a think of Johnson's and opening her panties.

[Mecca]

Bitch. The sound of that powder puff hitting the creases of that cooch. Our elders, it's some bitches on TikTok right now trying to bring the talca powder back. And it's like, bitch, I get you. I'm not finna be powdering my puss. I ain't gonna lie to you.

[Jamila]

Listen, hold up. Cause a bitch like me ain't never let a dusting powder go. I don't give a fuck. I use a white diamonds dusting powder. That shit is thorough. It keep you dry. Bitch, I don't give a fuck. And you know you gotta put it on underneath your clothes. I swear to God. Listen, I'm telling my secrets. Everybody be coming up to me like Mecca. You smell so good. Oh, my God. The allegations are correct.

[C]

Oh.

[Jamila]

You have to layer your scents. And Elizabeth Taylor ate that shit up, girl.

[Mecca]

Baby, that powder, baby, back in the day. And my grandma used to have that powder in a glass jar.

[Jamila]

Jamila. Hold on. Just. I'm finna get up. I'm finna break the fourth wall right quick. I have to show y'all this.

[Mecca]

I know this bitch gonna bring back this damn jar.

[Jamila]

If y'all ever doubted, I was really raised by old people.

[Mecca]

Powder that bitch gonna go powder right now.

[Jamila]

Oh, my God. Dusting powder. We're talking about my. My theories, my things. You be having to put it on to make that spank roll up Too that good. You see every time about my grandmother's girdle. See, I don't wear girdles.

[Mecca]

That's how you don't get them runs.

[Jamila]

See, listen, they don't know.

[Mecca]

Y'all be too greased up under them pantyhose, wondering why nothing is rolling up. And you got all these long ass nails. They sharp. They. They cut in the pantyhose, then run.

[Jamila]

From the stockings talking about some damn shapewears. Fat phobic. Oh, girl, I don't give a damn.

[Mecca]

Listen, I don't give a damn. I'm just gonna have to be phobic. Sometimes I need it to be. Sometimes you need that. Me, myself, I'm speaking for me.

[Jamila]

Speaking for me. I need that background to be slim. I'm not talking about nobody else.

[Mecca]

I want things to be smooth up under. I am a. What did that little heifer call me? A stubby body bitch. I do want to be. Oh, okay.

[Jamila]

Y'all thought I didn't see elongated. Well, God forbid a bitch is short and stacked.

[Mecca]

God forbid a bitch like me be just so God damn deliciously thick and 5ft even.

[Jamila]

It was funny, though. I said, stubby. Stubby.

[Mecca]

I said, now why am I getting so much backlash?

[Jamila]

Hold on.

[Mecca]

Whoa. I'll be real.

[Jamila]

I still. I made my little video. I still don't know what the hell going on. And they done added way. They done added three FOMO characters to the mix. I don't. I don't give.

[Mecca]

Take me out of this baby. TT don't know what's going on. But, hey, that's what we talking about clapbacks today. And that's what you gotta do sometimes when people come for you, whether it's provoked or unprovoked, you have got to know the art of the clap back sometimes. Y'all really let me down with the way you clap back. And it's really imperative that you know how to do a good nasty read.

[Jamila]

Mm. Let's get into it. So let me say, dis as a girly who was raised by the old shady church ladies. Nice. Nasty. The reason that we were cackling so hard at stubby body bitch is because that was a good old school read. It really. It really was.

[Mecca]

You didn't.

[Jamila]

She didn't get too deep into anything. People knew exactly what she was referencing about Jenny Let in terms of her being short and stacked, and it was very simple. That is important when you are trying to read. I feel like when you have to go deep, deep, deep, and start picking and picking and calling folks ugly and doing all this, you can't really read. It should be something very. And it should be something that's kind of true. You get what I'm saying? It should be rooted in truth and something that's almost, like, not insulting, but you twisted it and made it insulting. I. E. Stubby body bitch.

[Mecca]

And here's the thing about stubby body bitch.

[Jamila]

Saying if that's, like, that makes it Stubby body bitch.

[Mecca]

Stubby body bitch was. I had to laugh because it had nothing to do with anything that we were talking about. It was so fucking random that I. Bitch. I know you didn't think I was gonna do anything but laugh. Like, now, wait a minute. All right. You know what I'm saying? But I will say it's interesting being on this side of things. When you develop a platform like I have, you really can't even do too much because I could have. I could have. I could have gone there and I could have responded in many different ways, but then I would have, you know, been mean girl. Jamila. Jameela's a mean girl. Y'all know Jamila. Oh, okay. So I had to keep it cute. But, you know, when it comes to reading people, what's important to know is that you really have to understand the read has to make sense, and it has to be true. You can't call somebody who is obviously gorgeous ugly in a fight. Like, you know that. Like, that did not eat because you know that girl is pretty. You know what I'm saying? Like, you cannot lie just because you are being beat up. You know what I'm saying? Like, you have to be an honest digger for the reads to really hit. What are some of your favorite celebrity clapbacks? Mecca?

[Jamila]

I mean, I'm gonna be real. I'm pulling from the Housewives and keeping with the theme that the best reads are things that are true, that you just flipped and made not only an insult, but making it funny. I think also the art of reading and, like, throwing shade and being funny is it has to, one, catch the person off guard and even make the person laugh. It has to be, because it has to be rooted in truth. So it's not like, oh, well, that's a lie. Like, for example, bye, wig. Okay. And you see how there's nothing Kim could say to that, because it's just. And it was silly. It simply is just. And it's so silly. By Ashy.

[Mecca]

By Ashy.

[Jamila]

Them zooming in on Kenya. And she was, in fact.

[Mecca]

And she was indeed ashy, a little.

[Jamila]

Ashy, it has to be rooted in some truth. And I feel like personally ashy, like things that are adjectives to describe someone versus going at someone's being. Those are the best reads. And then you still are. You still can be considered funny and not technically mean. Like, to me, I don't like physical reads. Like, I don't. That's not. I'm not necessarily a fan of those. When we start getting into picking at people's bodies, there's just too much to pick at. If you look at someone to go for like weight, body, whether you find them attractive. Hair texture, because you can talk about someone hair without being texturous clock that.

[Mecca]

You know, you seeing somebody here look a mess is not the same as you saying something that's very obviously right. You know, texturized and stuff like, okay.

[Jamila]

Two different things, you know, however, comma.

[Mecca]

There comes a time where you have to dig for a bitch's character. When somebody has come for you, when somebody has really tried you, your character, they've come to your home and they've really gone there. Sometimes you have to reach deep down in you into that hateful bitch and read a bitch for filth to where she can't speak. I. E. Let's go back to our housewife reads, right? And see, while you were pedaling through sperm banks.

[Jamila]

Which was nothing physical, it.

[Mecca]

Was rooted in truth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because what you don't know whether or not your baby dad is going to be a child molester or a serial killer. Because what you will know is that he needed $10 for a medium sized pizza so that you can have a kid. Now check that.

[Jamila]

Phaedra definitely, definitely practiced that. And she was waiting for that. She was waiting to let that go.

[Mecca]

And executed it perfectly. And that's what's important. Sometimes you do have to read a bitch character because there was nothing that Kenya could say after that because, well.

[Jamila]

She was peddling these burnt bags. Zoomed in on her, she was like, that's exactly. And she looked away from. She was so mad.

[Mecca]

Seething.

[Jamila]

She was so mad.

[Mecca]

And the reason that that read was so delicious, because all of that actually happened.

[Jamila]

We're gonna take a break.

[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

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[C]

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[Mecca]

And we're back.

[Jamila]

Did you see this new episode? I haven't even watched it. Because a bitch like me got picked. Peacock.

[Mecca]

I haven't seen the last two. I'm not calling.

[Jamila]

Okay. They posted a clip from this past week. Yesterday's episode of Angela telling Britch her mouth. Got miles on it. A nasty read. A callback to a couple of episodes ago.

[Mecca]

Yikes.

[Jamila]

You see? Ouch. It's just like things that are rooted in truth. Rooted in truth. Yeah, I, I didn't, you know. Well, let me say this. I did not like when Shamia told Angela she had a retro nose. But I did laugh.

[Mecca]

I mean, the reason it was funny is because that's not her natural nose. And I think that that was like the small wiggle room you have. It's almost like laughing at somebody's botch. Bbl. It's like, bitch, that's not even how you're built. Like you paid for some bullshit. So it's like if you paid for a nose job. That sucks. I feel like that's fair game now to go for somebody's natural nose. I feel like that's not fair because it's like they can't help that. You can help. However, the nose you purchased, I feel like it was fair game. All is fair in love and hate.

[Jamila]

Well, I mean, true, because that, because they keep bringing up Britt's nose job and her nose job is beautiful. It looks great.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying? So it's like it's just. It's just bad on the inside because she can't breathe and speak properly, but on the outside, it looks wonderful.

[Jamila]

Yeah, Very beautiful.

[Mecca]

She did that. There also comes a time when you are sparring when you have to know when to let a bitch have it, actually. And I think that sometimes that's an underrated level of skill because sometimes a bitch is in the wrong. So you coming for them will actually make you look stupid. When sometimes you can just let them have it and at the end of the day, they will look stupid. I have a great example. During the MTV Music Award, Nicki Minaj called out Miley. And Miley was good.

[Jamila]

Hey, yo, Miley, what's good?

[Mecca]

And you know what Miley said? Congratu fuckulations, Nicki. You know what? Miley ate that shit. Cause, bitch, I don't even know what.

[Jamila]

The fuck to say to you.

[Mecca]

Bitch. I didn't even. Congratulations, Nikki.

[Jamila]

I don't remember what had. What had Miley said that caused her to do that?

[Mecca]

I don't remember exactly what she said, but I think she was during. It was during some type of interview or something, like a radio interview. And she mentioned Nikki in some type of way that was unfavorable. You know, around that time, Nikki was very sensitive, beefing with, you know, pretty much everybody right there. It was like a real high time. So I think Nikki was just sensitive.

[Jamila]

So that was before Cardi, though. That was before Bodak Yellow. That was. I believe so.

[Mecca]

Yeah, but she was still. It was still, like, fresh off the bone. Like, she was very much right there. And so Miley's response right there, honestly, I feel like kind of ate her up. Even though she didn't, like, go off. He's like, nikki, you know how it is.

[Jamila]

We do interviews.

[Mecca]

The press. Congratulations, like, girl. Because there comes, like, what else could you say in that moment? Like, you weren't prepared. You're startled. Like, sometimes you have to just let a bitch. You know what, Bitch, I'mma let you have that. And it's still just. Just as funny. Like, I live for those moments as.

[Jamila]

Well when you have to let people have it, when it's just like, I'mma.

[Mecca]

Just let you have that one, sister.

[Jamila]

I mean, what we're finding is more eyes you have on you, the more you got to let people have shit, child. Unfortunately. Unfortunately.

[Mecca]

And sometimes the art of the silence, sometimes not addressing, not speaking is, oh, that speaks volumes. Yeah, I won't even dignify this with a response.

[Jamila]

Yeah, this is beneath me.

[Mecca]

I can't even, oh, you better go Claire Hustle.

[Jamila]

Who's so good at it? Beyonce. Beyonce. She's so good at not responding to bullshit. And she literally. And she'll, and she'll let you know she saw it, but it'll be in her art, right?

[Mecca]

In the most simple, like amazing ways. Because when she was pregnant with Blue and people were acting a fucking ass and making it seem like she was not really pregnant, she had a surrogate. All those kind of things we didn't for, for years after. When we finally get the behind the scenes documentary and she's showing her pregnant belly and she's talking about all these things, but not actually addressing the press, never actually talking directly to the press, talking to her fans like, girl, fuck them. That's what I heard. Girl, fuck them. It's me and my beehive against the world. I don't give a fuck about nothing that nobody got. Say that is literally such a class act school of thought. You have to adopt the Beyonce Giselle Knowles Carter book of shutting the fuck up sometimes. And it's something that I unfortunately have had to learn the hard way. But I promise you all, a bitch like me only got to learn what once. Sometimes you have to let a bitch have it. And you, you show them better than you can tell them, especially the bigger and larger you become. Because what the fuck do Beyonce look like? Arguing with a bitch online, saying she underrated.

[Jamila]

But you know what that comes with. I think you know, and I've, and I said this, people don't consider you a real person with real feelings who really looking at shit. And let me quote the icon Nippy, the icon Whitney Houston, that I literally always knew I was gonna do something. Now I did not know how I was going to be in the industry, but I knew I was going to be in the industry. And years ago, when I was in high school and this was around the time she died, one of her old assistants did an interview talking about during the 90s, around the point where she was, her and Bobby Brown were kind of peak fucking up and doing they shit. There was always a bad tabloid story about them. It was always something unfavorable and she wouldn't read it. And so after like a streak, I don't know if she was in Preacher's Wife, I don't know exactly what it was, but she was. The assistant basically said she had performed and they had a good headline about her like, oh, Whitney's back. Oh, she's so great. Da da da. And the assistant tried to give it to her and be like, oh, my God, Whitney, look. And she pushed it. She said, get that out my face. And she was so confused. She was like, what you mean? They always shitting talking to you and now they saying something good. And Whitney said, I don't read that, because if I believe them when they say I'm good, I'm gonna have to believe them when they say I'm bad. That has resonated with me. Between that and Beyonce talking about she don't read comments. Baby, when y'all. That's so real. And that's why a lot of, like, I think the way that, like, I've come off over the years in terms of y'all was talking about me, y'all don't like me. Oh, I had no idea. Because I. I legitimately do not go looking. Why would I go look up shit of people shit talking me?

[Mecca]

That's a really good point. And I think when things were kind of spawning originally with me, like months ago, with the first big situation, somebody had made a comment, I made a video about it. And this kind of is relevant to that Whitney Houston quote. Somebody was like, oh, Jamila, they can never make me hate you. And I said, well, don't say that, because I guarantee you they can. Actually, I don't want anybody to start to develop this, like, unhealthy relationship with anybody, because then I feel like you build up this platform, this pedestal for your faves, and it makes it harder for their, quote, unquote, crash down. And so I think it's important for me to kind of disassociate from even comments like that. Like, I appreciate the love and support from all of my followers, like, tenfold. And I try to make sure I'm only present in those comments. Right? I want to acknowledge those comments, but at the same time, I try not to live in those comments and make those comments be valuable validating for me. Because like you said, the same way that those comments can be validated, it can also validate those hate comments that are right under that one. So I try to just like, almost disassociate myself from the comment section in a way and just think of it as literal conversation and not like a representation of who I am as a person. Because these people don't know me even when they think that I'm so amazing, so great. Like, they still don't know me because I'm so complex. We're all really, like, complex. We have really good attributes to ourselves and we have some really fucked up, shitty Ones like, we're. We're. We're people. And so I definitely think that that's. That's real tea. Whitney ate that before she got a body. I tell you, that shit up.

[Jamila]

I have kept that close to my heart. And I think that having read that and kept it close to me, it's really made me hone in on being grounded and not only be being grounded on who I am, but whose I am. So when it was said by someone with a very huge platform, they're just yappers. Pause. I'm a child of God, as are you. Okay. Hello. We are all made the same in his image. That's number one. But number two, I'm a person. I'm a daughter. I'm a sister. I'm a lover. I'm a friend. You know, I've been in a school. I've been out of school. I've been on the Internet. I've been off the Internet. I am a yapper. I'm also a tapper. I was a tap dancer for 18 years. You get what I'm saying? There are so many attributes about me. So to just try and say, oh, you're just that. You could never do that to me and not have me take it seriously and not shake me and make me feel like, oh, I'm. Ooh, I'm just a yapper. Someone said, I'm just a yapper. Yeah, I like to talk. My grandmother told me when I was three, my mouth runs like a bell clapper. Been new, so that's all I feel like. And you could take this to whatever you're doing in life, not just no Internet shit, because when you're in corporate, when you're in that office with them white people and they're trying to make you feel like you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. When you're moving through the world and your friends might be trying to hate on you, or you got undercover haters around you and, you know, no, this is what I'm about to do, or this is what I have to plan for my life, or this is my dream, and this is how I make it happen. You have to have that confidence in yourself first and foremost, to just be like, not everybody gonna agree with me all the time. Not everyone gonna be feeling me, not everyone gonna be shaking. What? I'm shaking, but you can't shake me. Mm. Mm.

[Mecca]

Come on, Reverend. Mm.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

She got that church dress on. She had to tap in.

[Jamila]

Wait, I was gonna say I wore this to church. Yesterday. First of all, I got a phone call to go to church yesterday.

[Mecca]

Mm.

[Jamila]

And I really wasn't planning. I got a little phone call like, take your ass to church. And I was like, you know what? Let me take my ass to church. And then I wore this. And I hadn't hung it back up. I was like, let me go. Since Jamila was in here in a milkmaid dress last week, I went to Blueprint. They said, that's the influencer church. He did a good little assignment, too. He must have. Must have left some preach, preach, preach, preach on it.

[Mecca]

Preach, preach, preacher child. Yeah. No, that's really a word, though. You really have to, like. You really have to compartmentalize the conversations that happen on the Internet when you are trying to be on the Internet. And of course, like you said, this can really apply everywhere. But it can definitely get to a point where you're like, damn. Like, I am really. Like, people are really creating narratives. Like, when I tell you. Creating, baby. Cultivating narratives about you that don't even have a base. It will never even make sense. And you will drive yourself fudgeing crazy trying to understand where the fuck they came up with that shit. But you know, that fucking not just.

[Jamila]

On the Internet, girl.

[Mecca]

That's the.

[Jamila]

And I think that is the. You hear about people doing this, but it's like, you don't have the actual proof. Like, you. You. If you got not just older parents, but parents who are socially aware. Older parents tend to be a little bit more socially in tune. Be like, that girl don't like you because of xyz. That's. And it be some that don't got nothing. Like, why wouldn't she like me because of that. Because she don't like you because of X, Y, and Z. You're like, mama, that's my friend. No, she don't like you because of X, Y, and Z. And you'll be like, what the fuck are you talking about? What happens a year or two later, you and your friend done came out, done fell out, and you find. And you're seeing it's because of xyz, what your mama said. And then you see it in real time on the Internet, and you be seeing people spitting there like, hold up. I ain't never said that. But you know, that happens in real life all the time.

[Mecca]

It's a skill. Once you really learn the art of.

[Jamila]

Mm.

[Mecca]

That ain't got nothing to do with me.

[Jamila]

Mm.

[Mecca]

Cause your perception of me really don't got shit to do with me. That's you. That's you and your perception. That ain't me and mine. That ain't me and my reality.

[Jamila]

If you don't know me personally, I'm not gonna take it personal.

[Mecca]

Hello. If you don't have my number, why would I care?

[Jamila]

I mean, that's what it comes down to. And even with, you know, the video I made yesterday and what seems to be going on, having friends on the Internet is very fickle. I think this past week we've seen several situations in terms of an old friend coming out. You know, two Internet personalities beefing, then somebody old friend coming and trying to add chaos and bullshit and getting. It's been a lot. And so between the two examples, it just goes to show you, people switch up at any point in time. You gotta have some discernment about yourself. And that's a general statement, full stop, even when you don't have eyes on you. But I feel like when you have eyes on you, it definitely revs up. It's imperative that you have some discernment about you when there is a power to be like, I know this is a funny example, but why was it so salacious that baby girl said, my ex was cheating on me and I found mechanudes in my phone? That happens to bitches every day. That happened to me. But because it was Mecca, now it's the moment, you know what I'm saying? You have to be. You have to really be. Keep your head on a swivel when it comes to just who do I want in my space? Who am I going to trust with my energy and show myself too? And I just started. I just started the matriarch. I'm reading Ms. Tina book, and that is definitely one of the themes maybe that circle. It should always be tight, but in other situations, it's imperative it gets tighter.

[Mecca]

Like a booty hole clinch.

[Jamila]

Clinch.

[Mecca]

Come on now. Come on now.

[Jamila]

Girl need to clinch it on there.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take a break.

[Jamila]

Pro baller Lonzo ball for buzzballs ready to go. Cocktails take 12. Buzz balls just dropped their biggest blue balls. Script says biggies blue balls. Lonzo, take 13. Blue balls just dropped their biggest buzz balls. Uh, let's try a vocal exercise. Buzz balls. Biggies. Blue balls. Buzz balls.

[Mecca]

Biggies.

[Jamila]

Blue balls. Big balls just dropped. Get blue balls this season with buzzball.

[Mecca]

Please.

[Jamila]

You're responsible Spirit wine and malt. 15% alcohol by volume Baseballs LLC Carrollton.

[C]

Texas hey there, travelers. Kaley Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music. Great artist, BT dubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival, gig, rave, sound bath or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today and you can save up to 60% off hotels and up to 50% off flights. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline.

[Mecca]

Go to your happy price, Priceline.

[Jamila]

And we're back.

[Mecca]

Speaking of, Ms. Tina knows I'm so excited to actually read her book. I'm not a huge reader. I've been. But see that, that won't work for me either. I have, listen, someone like me, I have extreme, an extreme level of ADHD that I, I think that I've created a new level of adhd. I don't know all the levels in the spectrums, but if I think I have a different level because I've tried different things and it is, it's very, very difficult for me to focus on one thing at a time. An audiobook, bitch. I will have an audiobook playing. Next thing I know, I'm trying to play music with it. Now. Those two. You know what I'm saying? I can't. It's really hard for me to focus. But I do want to get her book and read it. Just because, I mean, it's Mama Tina. I would love to know what all of that is like, because when you talk about being a matriarch and what that really is, I think that that's really important for us as new generation, you know, new generational women and new generational mothers and things like that, because. Exactly. The art of being a matriarch is very important because it's different than just being a. A mom, right? Being a mom, you are focused on your child and your child alone. Being a matriarch is this idea of creating community centered around you being a caretaker for the community and you allowing yourself to be open as a means of wisdom and encouragement and love and support and community. We really need to tap into our matriarchal spirits. And you don't necessarily have to have children to be a matriarch of your community as well.

[Jamila]

You know what's crazy? So what made me get the book was I kept hearing a little audio inserts and obviously watching her press run for it. I was like, I need to read this. But the way she speaks, I said, oh, she really is a matriarch. Because if you just look at Mama Tina, since, since she's been on Instagram the last decade. Notice how all of Black Hollywood kind of will be like, oh, my God, I love. I love Miss Tina. And it's never having anything to do with Beyonce. It's like, obviously, she's Beyonce's mom, but she. I remember what. It's a little Rel had done an interview and was like, oh, I had to call Ms. Tina and ask her some advice. And I'm like, Ms. Tina.

[Mecca]

Ms. Tina is. She really ended Ms. Mama Tina.

[Jamila]

Tina. And then you, like, see how she be at all these events for all these black people doing all these things independent of Beyonce. It just be her showing up and stuff. I'm like, oh, you really are like, a true matriarch. And my mom's mom, my grandmother, I was talking about Ms. Powder Queen. She was very much like that. I remember growing up, like, her funeral was so big. Everyone came. She was a deaconess in the church. She was just very well, like, very well loved. Even people who my mom like, oh, I ain't never liked her, but she always called my mama mama. And then my mom had that attitude like, that's my mama. And I was wondering, having a grandmother who seems to be very much like Mama Tina, I wonder if that's how Beyonce Solange be feeling. Like, girl, that is my mom's mother.

[Mecca]

I was gonna say. I'm sure that was definitely how everyone viewed my grandmother, my mom's mom. And it wasn't until she passed that it really, really connected to me just how integral she was to our entire family. Because you have to think with my grandmother, she was the oldest of her siblings, so she practically raised all of her younger siblings. She, of course, had her children, which she raised. She raised her cousins as well. Like, she raised the majority of my family. And everyone looked to her for guidance, for support, for food recipes, for fuck, sure. And just things like that. Like, she was that person. Like, that was the center anchor of our family. And seeing how her passing kind of almost altered us as a family, because it was like, well, that was our anchor. And I knew then when she passed that things were gonna change because things had already started to shift as everybody started to branch out and leave and kind of just do their own thing. But now that she's gone, there's nothing there keeping us together. And it's now our opportunity and our job to kind of take over. And that's something that I said at my other grandmother's funeral. My dad's dad. I mean, my dad's mom. It's now time for us to transition as our elders transition on to the afterlife and to be in the spiritual realm. It's now time for us to transition and to take over their places. You know, my parents are now the grandparents. Me and everyone in my generation are now the parents. So we have to take up space and become what we want, if that's what we want. If we want the childhood that we grew up in, we have to, we.

[Jamila]

Have to be transition into the roles. And I think that maybe that's the piece that our generation is lacking in simply because we're. The structure is so different this day and age in terms of when people are even having kids. You have a child, I don't. And I don't plan on doing that for a while if I do. You know what I'm saying? So even the time in which we transitioned, if you think about 30 years ago, our parents, peers, then people was having kids in their early mid-20s, married, settled down. They were transitioning into certain roles much earlier. Whereas you have, you know, us kind of joking, but not joking, like, oh, I'm a 29 year old teenager. Whereas 30 years in the early 80s, it would have been like, bitch, you damn near. You was the grandma. Like, you know, not the grandma. But so much has shifted. And so I think, like, even me starting to read that book, but even this conversation now is like solidifying the thoughts that I was having in terms of, yeah, us being. Us taking auntie and shit as an insult. Let it go. Like, let it go. It's time. Because if we're going to uphold the type of communities that we were raised in, we are that age. If. When I think about my aunties, and I won't use my aunties because my parents are older, but when I think about the people who were aunties in my family across the board, because I grew up in the type of family, like, we're Southern by way of Chicago, Evanston, Louisiana. Like, but we kept a lot for years until people started dying off. We used to do cookouts and family shit and all, all the time. Now it's like, I can't look at my. My daddy got dementia and my auntie is the one who is our anchor at this point. She's getting older, right? So it's like, if we want that, then it's time for me to step up. It's time for Darrington to step. It's time for Dej to step up. We gotta plan it. And who is the people planning it? The aunties and the uncles who's on the grill, the uncles? Who's telling the kids to sit the fuck down with a drink in her hand? Auntie Mecca. So that can't be an insult for me. It just simply can't.

[Mecca]

There's this, there's something that's happening to us as a people with this. This almost refusal to age and to grow and to transition. You aging and, you know, getting to you transitioning. To be middle aged and refusing to acknowledge the fact that you are an auntie is saying a lot about your character, I think, because it's almost a refusal to be a part of a community. People looking at you and wanting to call you auntie is always going to be a compliment, even when they try to do it as a dig. I'm 28, almost 29 years old. Someone who is 15 looking at me, calling me auntie is not them being rude. It's them paying respect and complimenting me because they feel that element of community towards me.

[Jamila]

Hello. Because if your parents are a certain age, I was taught you put a handle on shit for folks who are older than you. Now, if it's the. If you're a little bit more familiar, it's a family friend. The handle is Auntie. If I don't know you, the handle is Mr. Or Mrs. I was never allowed to call adults by their first name growing up. You following me When I was growing up, if there was someone my age, a 29 year old as a child, even as a teenager, it would have been in my cousins. Because again, the age discrepancy. My youngest cousin, who was the baby in my family until I was born, was 24 years old when I was born. You following me? Old enough to be my mama even. She was an adult. I grew up calling her Cousin Jerry.

[Mecca]

Same, same with my cousin, Cousin Vanessa.

[Jamila]

Cousin. That's an adult. That's an adult. She is older. That's an adult. Well, and I think, ooh, clock that with us not wanting to age and use these handles. The children are losing that lack of. That have a lack of respect. We're wondering why kids aren't respectful. Why they be? Well, the babies be 2, 3 years old. Calling grown adults by their first motherfucking name with no handle. So, yeah, you gonna think there's a level of equality there and that I can pop my shit at you when I get to be 6, 7, 8. And now you looking crazy. Why he talking to me like that? Cause he thinks you're equal. Cause she thinks you're equal. There was never. You don't have. And this is to the gentle parents, not the passive parents. There's a difference. You can create that authoritative dynamic with kids without beating they ass. Mm hmm.

[Mecca]

And don't let me get on my soapbox.

[Jamila]

You see what you do?

[Mecca]

That is my ministry, I'm saying, but.

[Jamila]

You see how you create that with children without whooping they ass. I can remember this man at church almost got me in trouble. And he said, oh, I'm gonna stop cause I ain't gonna get you in trouble. He had to been in his 20s at the time. And I said, what's your name? He said, greg. So I said, hi, Mr. Greg. I was probably five. He said, no, don't call me that, call me Greg. I'm young. Da da da da. And my mama was within earshot and she came over and she said, and she just looked at me and I.

[Mecca]

Said, it's gonna be Mr. Greg, Mr. Greg.

[Jamila]

And he said, oh, oh, I can see you. Mama don't play. I ain't even trying to get you in trouble. But just thinking about that moment, being so young. I always had a dynamic of, okay, there are people who are above me in some situations and I didn't, my parents didn't. Well, Derek got whippings, but Derek is a different. You know, you gotta parent your children accordingly. I didn't get bibbings like, you know what I'm saying?

[Mecca]

I also think there is a dynamic that happens with these adults that don't respect people who are younger than them. And so it's interesting because it's always, there's always a pipeline, right? It's always the people who don't respect young adults and children, teenagers, what have you, who also end up having that nasty spirit but also want to have all this respect back. You want all this respect from people who are younger than you, but you're disrespectful to young people. You expect to just have this respect given to you, but you're not willing to give it. I have always felt like respect is earned, no matter your age. You don't just talk to young people any kind of way because they're younger than you. The proper way to teach respect and honor is to do that to other people. There are adults in my family who I don't give a fuck about and I don't respect them because they were never respectful to me as a child and they talked down to me as a child. But there are adults in my family who I hold to the highest respect and highest regard because they always showed Me love. They always showed me respect, even being my elder, even when they needed to correct me to something, there was a level of respect in doing so. And I think that that is the responsibility on you as a fucking adult. You and your grown ass needs to learn how to properly correct people who are younger than you or how to speak to people who are younger than you. And let me tie this back into the Internet real quick.

[Jamila]

Oh.

[Mecca]

Huh. As. As our good sis Dominique says. Huh huh. Yeah. When you are engaging with people on the Internet, be mindful of their age. Why are you 50 arguing with a 20 year old?

[Jamila]

Ooh. Ooh.

[Mecca]

Oh. Why are you engaging with people on the Internet in a nasty way? And they're not your age, mate. You should consider that all things cons. All things considered. Because also sometimes when you put things in perspective, it'll be easy for you to let the fuck go.

[Jamila]

Well, stubby body bitch.

[Mecca]

Don'T mean nothing to me. She's 21. Why would I sit here and go back and forth with a 21 year old? It's sometimes okay to just let a bitch have it. You should consider the age of the people you are going back and forth with on the Internet and think about how it must look to the outside world being so grown, yet being so involved with people who are incredibly younger than.

[Jamila]

Mm.

[Mecca]

I'm just thinking about how I was raised and I just remember that that was never the case. I don't ever remember my grandma arguing with a child.

[Jamila]

I just.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jamila]

You know, and the thing here is. Ooh. I think there's age appropriate mess at all levels.

[Mecca]

Absolutely.

[Jamila]

Which is why when I was younger, something like Bad girls Club, I ate that shit up. I watched Atlanta Housewives with my mama. You get what I'm saying now? Something like Betty's. I don't watch that shit. I don't watch that shit. I watch the housewives by myself. You know, and then you get got people who like, I don't wanna watch that shit at all. But why does the Housewives work? And I think that this is the formula that Bravo Andy, why he was so genius for this. He got a whole bunch of middle aged bitches. Because the thing is, middle aged women still have disagreements and still do wanna go back and. But the reason bitches be looking so crazy on love and hip hop is because you 35. Mimi, Jocelyn, 22. You see what I'm saying? You got a 20. Hey maid.

[Mecca]

Well, yes, because that's exactly what you would say at 22 in that situation.

[Jamila]

The reason all the Housewives eat so much is because these are women who are 30. And when they started bringing in young bitches like Portia, they was 30. They wasn't really young bitches.

[Mecca]

They was right clock at over 30.

[Jamila]

Ashley was 20, 27 when she joined the Housewives. And when she tried to kick it with Karen's daughter that first season, Karen was on her ass. Cause her daughter was 18, 19. She said, Bitch, are you crazy? You see what I'm saying? You have to have some gusto about you and have some discern the moment, the word of the day, discernment, some sense just to be like, girl, this is not my realm. I am literally too old for this.

[Mecca]

Something that Shannon Sharpe never said.

[Jamila]

Oh. Oh, shit.

[Mecca]

Gagged. She really gagged. I wasn't ready for that.

[Jamila]

Oh, I thought we was talking about women's business.

[Mecca]

All things connected.

[Jamila]

All things connected.

[Mecca]

All things are connected here in this interwebs. Yes, yes, yes. I suppose we can spin it after this.

[Jamila]

Bitch. I ain't got else to say that. Let's go ahead spinning, Chad. I ain't got shit else to say.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take a break.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by Greenlight. Get this, Adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes. Us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight, you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treat start prioritizing their financial education and future today with a risk free [e-mail] Spotify greenlight.com Spotify.

[Mecca]

And we're back.

[Jamila]

Welcome to our segment Spin it where we put a PR spin on your salacious, messy and low down gutter butt situations. Now full disclaimer. Janila and I are not PR professionals. We just studied communications in college and we love to put a little PR spin on things that we think are interesting. If you want to possibly be heard or have a spin, put on your story. Don't forget to email at unhinged anymore. Pod Gmail.com. do not forget to add your ages and your races because that really matters. Jamila, what do we have this week?

[Mecca]

Let's get into it. Hey y'all. Y'all are my faves right now. Sending all the love and support for the new pod. Been tuned in every week. I know that's right. Hey girl. Here's my situation. Last summer I started talking to this man and we'll call him cj. Me and CJ live about an hour and a half away from each other and we're keeping in touch and sleeping together every time we are in the same city for about a year we went to concerts together and I grew to care about him and his career a lot. I am usually the ghosting type, so this threw me for a couple loop or a complete loop. My friends know me to keep a man or two on standby and for a year plus it's been only this man bad down. CJ's issue is that he is very attractive and charming and he knows it. I never tell him these things about him because my ego won't allow me to make it any bigger. We have a similar career goal and has. We have similar career goals and he has better access to it. He grew up in the city and I grew up in the sticks and he always picked fun at me for this. So much so that it started to make me feel like a white person. Like, nigga, are we not both black? This is my first major dummy man related situation. Anyways, I peep something and I think he has a new lady. We never, we were never exclusive, so I can't be super mad. But my ego unfortunately can't let me have one up on me. How do I spend this without posting a man to get my ego back? Trying to keep this real anonymous. What Boston Richie say? Help me. We've done.

[Jamila]

We've done one like this before.

[Mecca]

We'll all be in the same situation.

[Jamila]

I was gonna say we've done where she was talking about. She didn't wanna post. Yeah, she didn't wanna post to look thirsty, girl. First of all, it feels like he's trying to humble you.

[Mecca]

Mm, definitely.

[Jamila]

And I'm already not feeling that.

[Mecca]

Yeah, we don't like that.

[Jamila]

I already feel like, mm, him, if he's talking about you being from the stick so much that it's making you feel like he's acting like a white person. Like, oh, you're so country, you fucking nigga. Like, you know, like, I mean, that's how you said you made it seem. I already hate that. And so I'm already like, girl, fuck him.

[Mecca]

I did have a little bit of advice for her though. What I was gonna tell you is to use him until he's dry. Because a nigga who's trying to humble you, you simply gotta humble that nigga right the fuck back. So what I will say is you say he got a lot of resources. Use the Motherfucking resources, bitch. I need you to play coy. I need you to play your role, bitch. You know what I'm saying? I need you to use him to get to where you need to be in your career. Because I guarantee you, if I know you like I know you like I know you, black women's forever snow bunnies, I know for a fact you will be able to do better than him in his career. Because we're just talking off of straight statistics. Black women typically have more education and they typically do better in the workplace. So I think that you'll be able to do a little bit more than him. So use his resources to get above him in that career field, then say, fuck that nigga. But of course, along the way, as we say in every spin, it get you some more niggas.

[Jamila]

Get you some more niggas. And the moment. Listen, I think that women should be very vigilant on fucking with men who, like, want to humble them, because I'm really big on them red flags in terms of. That's going to turn into something else. Him making little comments because, like Jamila just said, the statistics say you gonna do better than him regardless of where you're from. You know, that's just what the statistics have. I don't know your work ethic or anything, but you being from the sticks, well, it seems like you already doing better than him because he started 10 steps ahead and y'all are at the same place. So now what you're gonna keep doing, you and you're gonna get 10 steps, 20 steps, 30 steps further than him. And what you're gonna see happen, if you keep talking to him, he gonna keep humbling you or trying to downplay all your little shit. Oh, well, you. You're not doing this because you know you country or da da, da da new country or they. They giving you country.

[Mecca]

I feel like when n do that, they will also sabotage your career.

[Jamila]

Absolutely on purpose.

[Mecca]

Like, absolutely hell, no.

[Jamila]

Hell, no. And I'm only. I won't say I never paid attention to that shit before, but I will say the moment motherfuckers started following on TikTok, the theme of this episode, having an audience and a following following you, I definitely became more aware of niggas who was trying to humble me because it would be blaring and be like. Like, oh, I don't give a fuck about all that.

[Mecca]

They love to.

[Jamila]

Girl, I never said you did. Like, I didn't. I never even approached you on. No, I. I say that as someone who I never bring my following up. Like, if you. The dates I go on, I act as if I'm gonna. For all intents and purposes, it's the first day. You don't know nothing about me, I don't know nothing about you. So if you coming up here and trying to downplay my job, Come on, let's call it what it is, my job.

[Mecca]

Hello?

[Jamila]

Okay. Already I feel like, why did you bring it up? And the men who I have talked to, who has gone somewhere, have been people who. Yeah, as as now it's progressed, have been like, yeah, I mean, of course I knew who you were. I'm just fucking normal. And I was actually trying to pop at you, so it was not necessary to bring up what the fuck going on. Because, I mean, yeah, it's kind of hard not to see that part of you. You need to get you a man who. Confident in himself and what he got going, who don't have an issue being potentially outshined by his lady or not being the main character in the relationship. Because when y'all are in that house together and it's just, y'all, hello, hello.

[Mecca]

What are you gonna do then? But, yeah, he sounds like a jackass.

[Jamila]

So. I haven't heard anyone say jackasses, so. Ooh, let me trauma dump. Last time I heard someone say jackass was my parents in an argument when I was like, a kid. And my mom was like, you know what? You're a jackass.

[Mecca]

I would pay money to hear Lindy say that. Mind y'all, Lindy doesn't cuss. So, like, I would literally pay money to hear her say that. Please. Oh, I know she. I know it came from the.

[Jamila]

From the root of her cusses. It's like, first of all, you know, my mom's very articulate. She says every syllable.

[Mecca]

She's a teacher, so when she cusses.

[Jamila]

It be like, jackass.

[Mecca]

I need to hear it.

[Jamila]

So funny. If you like. I've talked about this so many times when she's mad at Darrington, she says, every Darrington. It's like the funniest shit ever.

[Mecca]

Ever. Woo. Wow. Well, I don't have anything else to say to that goddamn spinning girl. You know what the fuck to do. Check that N out.

[Jamila]

Check him out.

[Mecca]

Worst way.

[Jamila]

Well, yeah, in the worst way. If he's from the city. I mean, he been in the city. He a city boy. You should have been. Knew that.

[Mecca]

But also, sister. No shade. No shade. Cause you know, I'm from. You know what I'm saying? Not the city as well. You opposed to moving to the city? You trying to stay there or something? What's tea with that? Why are you trying to stay.

[Jamila]

Why are you trying to stay here?

[Mecca]

Why are you trying to stay in the country? Because, and I love my country girls down. That's, you know, that's all me. But like the opportunities don't be there. So sometimes you got to move a little bit. Even if it's just moving a little bit closer to the city. Like you are hour away. Maybe move 30 minutes away. Shit, I don't know. Like if I had a happy medium or something. Like maybe it's time for you to just elevate in general so that you can have more opportunities for your career. But also, hello, bigger city, Bigger hello.

[Jamila]

You.

[Mecca]

You only got a couple.

[Jamila]

Lying. You're not lying. I don't like the city even being like a Californian. You like my daddy and my family from San Francisco, baby. I used to hate going to San Francisco. Still do, damn near. I, I am not a city lady. I think that's why when I was like in Virginia and then Maryland and then like here, I really like having, being, having access to city things.

[Mecca]

That's why you gotta go to the burbs.

[Jamila]

Yeah, no, no, no. The burbs make so much sense. But even I'm not even gonna lie to you. The way Houston set up, you know, you could have a suburb subdivision and then you got two, three houses and it's just horses and cows. Then it's a dollar tree. I like that. And I had like Baltimore county is good for that type of shit too. Yeah, the county. All them houses up there in the hills, in the forest and shit.

[Mecca]

If you a real country girl, I know you don't necessarily want to be in the high rise. Probably you don't want to be in the wham, bam, fast life.

[Jamila]

You know what I was thinking though? I've been talking about this. By the end of the year, I will have a place in Atlanta, right? And so I was saying I've never lived in like a high rise apartment possibly. I'm thinking about that. But I really don't even want to do that. I want to do get me a little. I want a backyard. That's my problem. I need to go be able to sit on the porch.

[Mecca]

I like to people watch.

[Jamila]

I just want to sit.

[Mecca]

That's all we damn do in the country, honestly, especially in Beaumont. Child, it ain't shit to do in Beaumont, but watch other people not do shit. I miss it. Sometimes I'll be there very soon. I'm so mad though.

[Jamila]

This is.

[Mecca]

Has nothing to do with nothing. I'm so mad. They closed down this club that was really popular. It was like a club, restaurant, lounge. The park at Beaumont, before I even had a chance to go there. Now I gotta go to somewhere else when I go down there. But anyways, that was just me complaining. You know, them country cities don't got much.

[Jamila]

So you know what's funny is that it doesn't matter where you live or what state. Something black people are going to do is go stand outside and talk. You notice that like that's what we do. We.

[Mecca]

Because we are community based people. It's in our nature, babes.

[Jamila]

When my dad, when he. Before he was. Before he started showing signs of dementia, he had lived out here with me for about a year. When I say that nigga have found niggas his age and would be outside my apartment complex a little bit down the ways at the corner store smoking cigarettes and talking like, it's just like you're gonna find that wherever you go. Like you're going to find that. And let me go ahead and say this. As a woman who is not afraid, who has lived in the hood and is not afraid to live in the hood, they not gonna like what I have to say. Some of the strongest community ties are still very much in the hood because the hood still runs with. How do I explain this? I used to stay in Sunnyside, okay, Here in Houston. And Sunnyside is known as the hood now. I lived in a quieter part of Sunnyside. It was only older people on my cul de sac who had clearly lived there for 30, 40 years. But a block over, it did get a little ratchet. But I will say there was like, what is this? Like not a. A way it ran. They didn't bring no bullshit to the. To the blocks that wasn't on no bullshit. You know what I'm saying? When there was old, there was parts that you could walk around or old people going on walks. People just like, just like in the suburbs, like people walking they babies around. Like the hood operates like any other community and they knew each other. Like I knew people on my block. Not this past. Last Easter, I had an Easter egg hunt for the kids in my neighborhood. I let them run all through my house and backyard because I had been living in that cul de sac sack in Sunnyside for two, three years. And when I would go out of there, cause my house got robbed like within our first week of Living there. And after that, my neighbors became very like, they would watch my house. They picked up that it was just me and little moms at the time. So listen, they became very like I felt in that Sunnyside Hiram Clark line. I had me a good community over there. Y'all could never make our weekly rant.

[Mecca]

Our weekly statement of bringing back community.

[Jamila]

You will never make me hate the hood. Because the hood be having the strongest community. Because they know it be bullshit going on over there sometime. So they be like, and don't bring that bullshit over here. For real. Your local corner store, they be knowing which kids to leave alone. I remember I had one homeless man, I used to give him money and food sometimes. He saw little moms walking home and had scared the shit out of her. And I said, well, you was. And I went up to him later, I said, you can't be running down on my child like that, though. You scared? He's like, oh, I'm sorry. Cause, you know, she took the bus home and she walking through the neighborhood and he, you know, and. But a strange man trying to talk to you. Yeah, you gonna run your ass home. And. But by the time she hit our corner and then old people were sitting on their porches. Oh, well, she felt comfortable now. And what did he do? Left her alone. Chill the fuck out. Cause it's other adults over here.

[Mecca]

Exactly. But that's also why planting roots is important. Just to kind of tie back the conversation we were having earlier about transitioning into being those elders and those matriarchs of our family and our community. Planting roots is important. I know it's. Our generation is really keen on moving around, right? Getting a home, but then moving and then moving again and then switching cities. And I understand where it comes from. And I'm not necessarily saying what we are doing is a bad thing, because I understand that we are exposed to way different opportunities than our grandparents and so on. But we still do need to start learning how to plant roots within this new cycle of live, you know, of life and opportunities. We need to learn how to plant roots. Because planting roots is the foundation of creating that community in the area that you're in. Because if you're constantly moving around, you're never going to have a central home. Right? Like, where are your children coming back to? Where are your grandchildren coming back to? Like being able to go to my grandparents home where my, my dad was raised, like that is really important to us. There's history that's in that house. Like all of those things that stay There versus even we can look at my. My parents. We moved a lot because of just things that happened. And I always think about, dang, I wish I had access to our first home in Texas, but it's sold now. That's not. That's no longer our family home. Of course. We now have our family home in Georgia. That's been in our family for a while. But it's, It's. There's still just a disconnect when you move a whole lot. So it's like we have to learn how to start figuring out how to plant roots. And what does that look like now for our generation? Because it's going to look different. Maybe we can use the Internet to our advantage to kind of create that, you know, community element. I don't know. It's just something that we have to start discussing with each other and figuring out, like, you should know where all your friends are going to live. And maybe that can also be something that you use to figure out where you're going to live. I don't think that's weird.

[Jamila]

I mean, everyone knows all my people have moved to Houston. And when our team was like, hey, we need you in Atlanta on a little bit more basis, what was my thing? I was like, I'm definitely willing to get me a little apartment in Atlanta, but my home base is Houston. I have created a really strong community here. I like the city. I can move around the city. They treat me very well in this city. And I've just, I've done the work in planting the roots here that I don't want to uproot the roots I've planted. And since so many of my people have moved to Houston who happen to now be having children and moving in and taking partners, it's like, oh, this is where everyone's going to very much end up. Like, this is where. And the community I've built in terms of like, the people who support me, the people who, when I'm out of town, when I'm in Atlanta, who gonna watch Flex? Well, the people I rely on here in Houston watch Flex. Like, that's important to me. And I get. It's not, you know, everyone act like they loners. Oh, I don't get, you know, because community. Community can be an inconvenience at times because you gonna be asked to do stuff. But I, I just, I very much care about that.

[Mecca]

Yeah. Because even when we talk about, you know, historically looking at like the great migration, they weren't just leaving one by one. A lot of them were Taking people with them because you, how, how does it look for you to move somewhere brand new alone? It can be very scary. It can be very isolating. But when you look at how people moved in groups so that they can have people there to support them sometimes when they come back, like even just looking at my family alone, there's a huge portion of my family that migrated to California and that have. They have actual roots planted in California, both in Southern California and Northern California. And though. And then there were generations of family born out of that, you know, out of that migration in and of itself. And it's like you have to learn how to plant those seeds. But also what's important that I think that they did was they still have those ties back home as well.

[Jamila]

Right?

[Mecca]

Like, even though there's generations out there in California, they still have those ties and community in Beaumont, Texas as well.

[Jamila]

No, that's definitely important. I will say my whole branch, my grandmother, all her siblings ended up in California, ended up on the same block in San Francisco. And when I, my dad's side of the family is one of those families, like we don't have friends because we got cousins. But when I think about how they was really raised, my grandmother and my aunt and the other older sibling went out there to the point and then, you know, it was 13 of them to the point where then they moved big mama and my aunt baby, the baby sister to the issue. They were the last ones to come and then they all end up on the same block. They all had kids, all the kids thinking da da da da da. And now if you're a Pearson and you're in rooted in San Francisco but now migrated throughout the greater Northern California area. It's very easy to find. Bitch, I done fucked around and found family members on TikTok who have just seen me and been like, seen a picture of me posting. My grandmother is like, oh, that is my great, great, great aunt. Because I've seen her picture in my granddaddy house. Oh, that's not surprising because I know I have a huge family. Like. And to your point, you don't people really stay places and plant roots and become very to the northern and Southern California and you know, but you all want to remain connected.

[Mecca]

We're going to take a break. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of Your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail].

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[Jamila]

And we're back.

[Mecca]

Okay, y'all, we're about to read some of yalls comments that y'all have been leaving under our platforms. Be sure to, you know, engage with the podcast. That's always our favorite part. Reading yalls thoughts and comments and things like that. Make sure you guys are subscribing, liking, sharing, doing all the things. Make sure you guys are also subscribed to the Patreon $3 a month. Love you, love you, love you. But okay, we're gonna get right into it. I'm gonna read the one from Apple titled dating apps from 08. Elise. I'm so glad someone feels the same about BLK and Facebook dating. They are absolutely one in the same. I've cycled through all of them and hinge is where I've had the best luck. It's rough out there. Lol. Stay safe ladies and keep up the amazing work. Thank you so much. Yes. You got to be safe.

[Jamila]

Okay. Doctor 3 Kko Draco. Oh Draco. Hey beautiful ladies. I love y'all. Keep up the amazing podcast. My golden birthday is this year. Big 24 on September 24th. I need to get like y'all unk so tired of this. Please. VB Beast underscore B says being born and raised in the 757, there is no in between. Either you mess with the military ones or you don't. But there's plenty of men in the 757 and up to the 804 all the way to D.C. and Baltimore. She could even go down south to NCAT. There's enough colleges she there's enough college colleges. She could have a good time and mess with some professionals if she wants to. Exactly. That's all I was saying. Jasmine Heart 26 said, Them little work situations be something serious. Thank y'all for making me laugh so hard while stuck in traffic. You're welcome. Who is this? Oh, I keep scrolling out Darrell Darrell. That's how you know I'm ghetto. Darrell Darrell Beville said one.

[Mecca]

She still said it.

[Jamila]

I'm saying Daryl. Daryl Bevel said one of the last books I read was Grace Jones's memoir. So this Studio 54 convo is taking me out. Oh, I need to read that. I was gonna say.

[Mecca]

Wait a minute. I need that.

[Jamila]

Need that ASAP. After Ms. Tina's Sid said IDK why? But finding a little Mexican shorty from BLK is so sad coded. I feel so. I feel so akin to y'all pod as a set girl who happened to survive a Beaumont nigga. Ooh.

[Mecca]

Oh my God. That's so specific.

[Jamila]

Not a baby.

[Mecca]

I hope it wasn't my cousin baby.

[Jamila]

Mikaela said Mecca not the keys reference. Omg. You just unlocked a childhood memory so deep the barb's not gonna like this, but keys in the dark with that bang and that jacket that was a bit too little. Ate the queen up, child.

[Mecca]

I'm crying. Okay. These are from YouTube. Sherry412MJ on a bachata beat Mecca Jamila is ready to flip a table. I'm crying at Sonia Sharma, 9597 Mecca. Now you know you're wrong for calling Michael Puerto Rican. My face felt just like Jamila when you said that. I'm crying, child. Cause y'all know I don't play by my mic. Hello puerto rican@babygirl01 3:00am not crazy. LOL. I'm. I'm up so I'm watching y'all be crazy.

[Jamila]

I was hearing. I was like, Melissa, I did not know this really gets posted in the middle of the night because y'all. But y'all be commenting. So I'm like, oh, it be up.

[Mecca]

At 3am I had no idea. I'm crying. As Samantha Rotter 1061 said, the warehouse relationship has me screaming. Jamila, please. Because you know exactly. At Ion Iyanagail 9872 Mecca at 5:33. Oh, really? Like you want to be pissed off on your birthday girl had me rolling LOL at JSR. Cammy, the tennis match in the first 10 minutes. What? The tennis match in the first minutes of the episode is fry me. What?

[Jamila]

That's when we was going back and forth when you was trying to fry me for dating older people. But I was like, but you date young people. But we were kind of going back.

[Mecca]

And forth the way I don't be remembering.

[Jamila]

And then when she was talking about when I said, oh, really? It was like you had said you don't like being made mad on your birthday. And I was like, oh, really? Like that's what she's saying. Like, bitch who want to be made man on their birthday. Why you acting like this is oh, really?

[Mecca]

Because I'm so special. Ed Karan09 say, though seriously, I was fucking with an older guy at my job, and I just had an epiphany one day that take 1075 just like me. What can he do for me? LOL. Cut that off expeditiously. The exact number is. Is killing me.

[Jamila]

1075, bitch. I'm so crazy. But exactly.

[Mecca]

That's funny as. But no. Yeah, but exactly.

[Jamila]

What can he do for you?

[Mecca]

Wow. Well, thank you guys so much for a wonderful episode. I guess we can give a couple of church announcements if you know, you know, if you're already locked into the Patreon, then you already know this. But we'll announce it here. All of our Patreon members have early access to our merch. Yes, we have dropped our first thing of merch, but there is more to come, so stay tuned for that. But right now, it's only available for our Patreon members because, well, you guys are special to us. Yeah. With a special discount as well. So if you want access to that merch, then guess what? You got to be a Patreon subscriber. So make sure you guys go ahead and check that out and make sure you put your purchases in with that 10 discount in there. And once you guys are good to go, we'll drop the merch officially for everybody, for all of our amazing viewers and followers very, very soon. But of course, we had to do something special for our Patreon members. Like, duh, you guys are giving us a little extra coin. You guys are supporting us a little bit more. So we want to show that love back to y'all.

[Jamila]

We're continuing our insecure rewatch on Patreon. We're still on season one, so we'll be doing episode five and six this week. Yeah. And I think that's it.

[Mecca]

That's it. So thank you guys so much for watching, and we'll see you next Thursday.

[Jamila]

Bye.

[Mecca]

Unhinged and Immoral is hosted by Jamila Bell and Mecca, produced by Melissa D.

[Jamila]

Montz and Diamond Imprint Productions post production by Coco Lawrence production assistant by Melanie.

[Mecca]

D. Watson Music by Adi & Brooklyn.

[Jamila]

Billionaires and graphics by Claudia Choi.