The Day Michael Jackson Died

Summary

Podcast Summary: Unhinged & Immoral – "The Day Michael Jackson Died"

Release Date: February 27, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Unhinged & Immoral, hosts Jamila Bell and Mecca Evans delve into personal anecdotes, cultural discussions, and the lasting impact of Michael Jackson's death. Produced by Diamond MPrint Productions, the episode navigates through a blend of serious topics and light-hearted banter, maintaining the podcast's signature unfiltered and engaging style despite minor audio issues due to the hosts sharing the same space.

Celebrating Love and Addressing Colorism

The episode kicks off with Jamila sharing a heartfelt moment about her sister's engagement to her girlfriend, highlighting the beauty of the occasion and the addition of a new sister to her family.

• Jamila Bell [01:13]: "I'm going to take it up a level. My sister proposed to her girlfriend, and it was a beautiful situation. It was so great, so nice, so lovely. And so now I have an additional sister."

Mecca echoes the sentiment, noting the viral reaction on Twitter and addressing misconceptions about skin tone and familial resemblance.

• Mecca Evans [02:30]: "And that's why it's always so funny, because it's like everybody always puts me with the light. But now that I'm the only light-skinned person in my family."

The conversation naturally shifts to the broader topic of colorism and biracial identity, with both hosts sharing their experiences and perspectives.

• Jamila Bell [07:05]: "Some biracial people are going to be considered black and some aren't. And it just is very simple."

Tackling Biracial Identity and Community Involvement

A significant portion of the discussion centers around a biracial Twitch streamer who attempted to participate in a Black History Month gaming tournament but was challenged on her authenticity within the Black community.

• Mecca Evans [04:26]: "She tried to participate in a Black History Month... they told her, this is for black presenting women now, full stop."

Jamila reinforces the importance of community involvement in defining racial and cultural identity.

• Jamila Bell [09:05]: "Some biracial people are going to be considered black and some aren't. And it just is very simple."

The hosts emphasize that external perceptions and active participation in the community play crucial roles in how biracial individuals are identified and accepted.

Personal Reflections on Michael Jackson's Death

A poignant segment of the episode features Jamila reminiscing about the day Michael Jackson died, sharing vivid memories of the impact it had on her and her family.

• Jamila Bell [28:21]: "I wore those. I wore the day that Michael Jackson died."

She recounts the immediate reactions, including a homeless man's public outcry at the library and the family's collective shock upon hearing the news on CNN.

• Jamila Bell [33:27]: "That image is never leaving my sight because that traumatized the fuck out of me."

Mecca adds her perspective, recalling the global halt and the emotional turmoil that followed Jackson's death.

• Mecca Evans [35:11]: "I was supposed to see him. Well, honestly, I don't know where we're... approaching this from."

The hosts discuss the lasting legacy of Michael Jackson and the emotional void his passing left in the music world and their personal lives.

Nostalgia and Fashion Throwbacks

Transitioning from heavy topics, Jamila and Mecca engage in a nostalgic conversation about early 2000s fashion trends, reminiscing about favorite outfits and iconic styles.

• Mecca Evans [25:05]: "Peplum tops are back in style."

They humorously debate over vintage styles like capris and heelless heels, reflecting on their teenage years and the enduring influence of past fashions.

• Jamila Bell [26:49]: "There are some things I'm gonna let the babies enjoy that I don't like. I've been there."

Spin It: Listener Stories and Updates

In their "Spin It" segment, Jamila and Mecca address listener-submitted stories, providing updates and offering advice on navigating messy personal situations.

• Jamila Bell [52:08]: "Hey, Mecca. Hey, Jamila. I've been watching y'all probably for weeks waiting for my Spin It to air."

They discuss the complexities of friendships, particularly when friends interfere in romantic relationships, and introduce the concept of "Friend's Fatal Flaws," encouraging listeners to accept and navigate imperfections in their relationships.

• Mecca Evans [55:34]: "Is what it is."

Addressing Listener Feedback

The episode concludes with the hosts reading and reacting to listener comments from various platforms like Apple, YouTube, and Spotify. They express gratitude for the positive feedback and share amusing interactions, including humorous remarks about their podcast's longevity and personal anecdotes shared by listeners.

• Jamila Bell [78:16]: "Y'all finna read some of y'all's comments that y'all have been leaving on our very various platforms."

Conclusion and Announcements

Before signing off, Jamila and Mecca announce upcoming events, including Mardi Gras in Mobile, fashion shows, meet and greets, and new merchandise releases. They encourage listeners to subscribe to their Patreon for exclusive content and updates.

• Mecca Evans [85:17]: "We're going to be in Mobile this weekend for Mardi Gras. Happy Mardi Gras, y'all."

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Notable Quotes

• Jamila Bell [33:27]: "That image is never leaving my sight because that traumatized the fuck out of me."

• Mecca Evans [55:34]: "Is what it is."

• Jamila Bell [56:41]: "We're dealing with the aftermath of what."

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Final Thoughts

In "The Day Michael Jackson Died," Jamila Bell and Mecca Evans blend personal storytelling with cultural critique, offering listeners a multifaceted exploration of identity, loss, nostalgia, and the complexities of modern relationships. Their candid dialogue and relatable insights make this episode a compelling addition to the Unhinged & Immoral series.

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Stay Connected

Don't miss out on future episodes! Subscribe to Unhinged & Immoral on your preferred podcast platform and follow Jamila and Mecca on social media for the latest updates, behind-the-scenes content, and more unfiltered fun.

Transcript

[Jamila Bell]

Hey, guys, Producer Melissa here. Good news. Mech and Jamila were in the same room for this episode. Bad news, it did cause some audio bleeds. So there are a few little rough spots with the audio here in this episode, but it is still great content, great episode. So please tune in, and I promise next week the audio will be better. Enjoy the episode. Going in that cash talk. Walk in the booth like Naomi on the cat bar and tell them from the Jaguar, it ain't even right, though. Push me, then I might go, she ain't getting money. I'm like, what the hype for? When the bite flow make my appetite go poof, Gone. Voila. Magic. Looking mad good just to pull up on them.

[Mecca]

Rampant. Oh, I can't. You're not on the screen this week.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, I'm here.

[Mecca]

You're here. Welcome back to another episode of Unhinged Immoral. We're in the same room this week.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

And I'm so used to looking at the screen to look at you.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, look at me. That's what that said.

[Mecca]

Well, let me go ahead and turn you down in my ears because I can hear you right now. What the hell? I just thought about that. I was like, why are you echoing? But it's like, yes, you're right here.

[Jamila Bell]

But not too much because we got to hear Melissa.

[Mecca]

So why is Jamila in Houston, Texas, on my couch?

[Jamila Bell]

Well, this weekend, we celebrated lesbianism.

[Mecca]

Come out of the spirit of lesbianism. They said no.

[Jamila Bell]

They said, well, no, actually.

[Mecca]

Actually, we're going to stay in the spirit of promise.

[Jamila Bell]

I'm going to take it up a level. My sister proposed to her girlfriend, and it was a beautiful situation. It was so great, so nice, so lovely. And so now I have a additional sister.

[Mecca]

Shout out to Jazz and Sharonda.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

People on Twitter, when you posted it, it went kind of viral.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

I think they assumed Sharonda was your sister.

[Jamila Bell]

No, they do skin tone. And they keep telling me that we look alike.

[Mecca]

I've just been letting you guys kind of do. But I was. I. I was holding myself like, her sister is the one on one knee.

[Jamila Bell]

I don't know what to. I'm like, oh, you know, now that I think about it, maybe this was misleading.

[Mecca]

No, but you know what I was thinking? You didn't even get Jazz's. You got Jazz's big old fat ass.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

But no one can see Jazz's face. And the picture I posted on TikTok last night with the three of y'all standing there that I took, people were like. They were in the comments, assuming Sharronda was your sister too.

[Jamila Bell]

And I was like, ah, yeah, no, no, it's.

[Mecca]

It's the other one.

[Jamila Bell]

It's the other one. Yeah.

[Mecca]

Colorism.

[Jamila Bell]

And that's why it's always so funny, because it's like everybody always puts me with the light. But now that I'm the only light skinned person in my family.

[Mecca]

Remember when they were on TikTok saying that you were biracial? And I was like, if you only saw her family, she's not biracial, actually.

[Jamila Bell]

No. Not even the recessive.

[Mecca]

What is this? The recessive wretchback gene.

[Jamila Bell]

And I'm talking about. You have to go so far back. That's the funniest part about it. It's like, actually, I'm so opposite of biraciality because I don't know any white people in my lineage actually at all. We would have to go back to literally slavery.

[Mecca]

I was gonna say, I know who it is, but again, my parents are so my grandfather. Fun fact, my grandfather was born in 1896.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. You just don't have as many generations.

[Mecca]

I just don't have.

[Jamila Bell]

There's only three generations.

[Mecca]

No, same vibe, old people having kids for like three generations. But honestly, it's four generations back. The slave master. So we're only four generations removed. I actually know the guy's name and all that stuff. But I do, I do feel I do meet the qualifications. Because, you know, now the qualifications are no longer the 24 black grandparents. They want 8 black grandparents, which I also have.

[Jamila Bell]

And it's like, you, you guys know what's crazy?

[Mecca]

It's like you guys can't kick. Once you guys start getting to the 32, you might have got me.

[Jamila Bell]

But it's like, I don't know.

[Mecca]

I. I'm still, I'm still meeting the qualifications.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. I stand very firmly and place my feet on solid ground.

[Mecca]

Did you see the girl on Twitter? Okay, so this is the thing.

[Jamila Bell]

What girl? I seen there's a conversation, but I don't know the origins.

[Mecca]

Finally I can talk to you about it.

[Jamila Bell]

Okay, great. Because I'm like, I'm like, which biracial is coming at you?

[Mecca]

She's really biracial. She's like a octoroon.

[Jamila Bell]

An octoroon.

[Mecca]

Well, okay, I will say I saw the picture. She put. So she is definitely a white presenting woman. She absolutely. Like, if you just looked at her white. Her father looks to be light skinned. Like her dad looks like me. Probably a little more like you.

[Jamila Bell]

Okay.

[Mecca]

But she tried She's a twitcher. Twitch streamer, twitcher, twitcher.

[Jamila Bell]

Okay.

[Mecca]

And she tried to participate in a Black History Month, what seems to be a Black History Month gaming tournament on Twitch with black women, Black streamers.

[Jamila Bell]

And they clocked her T. They told.

[Mecca]

Her only black presenting women because she sent her. She sent a picture of her dad and said, I'm half black. So the person said, this is for black presenting women now, full stop. I made a TikTok saying, here's the thing about this. I do feel like I understand that biracial people feel like they don't have a place. I understand all of that and have much empathy. Having to raise little moms for two years put me onto a lot of game in terms of, like, that frame of mind and like, really not feeling like you belong anywhere. Because I had to have them honest conversations with her. Taking it back. Call back to our conversation about biracial with black moms. Is you not black or is she black? Because that was a lot of my energy with having to raise her. Well, do you use jail in a hard brush in your head? Tell them to shut the fuck out like that, right? They, this girl's from the UK where the one rule is much less prevalent. They don't like their racial caste structure is so different for the United States. So I didn't even know that. And I was like, so the thing about this is, especially in the us, if you are biracial, passing biracial, and you are actively involved in black culture, there are certain things that you wouldn't even set yourself up for. You ain't never seen Mariah Carey pull no bullshit. And so what this tells me is I don't think that she's as involved in black culture.

[Jamila Bell]

She's not in community.

[Mecca]

She's not in community at all.

[Jamila Bell]

And that's always the point.

[Mecca]

That's the point.

[Jamila Bell]

I made a video a while back because there was a conversation again about the biracial identity. And I was like, everybody is using all of these big terms and I get it and I love that for us. But let me break this down in the most simple nigga way that I can. Some biracial people are going to be considered black and some aren't. And it just is very simple. A lot of people say, well, why come we assume. Why do we call J. Cole black? Because J. Cole looks black, he acts black, he's in black community. There's nothing to converse. Now, if you were to say that about somebody else, I can't think of an example Maybe like, let's say Rashida Jones. Just because I know she's pretty, but I don't know her. I don't know her. Her scenario. So let's assume that Rashida.

[Mecca]

Rasheeda's definitely. But that's the thing. So Rasheeda and Kiara are Peggy Lipton and Quincy Jones, and they are the exact opposite, but they both kind of aesthetically look the same. I would say Kiara only looks more black because she's in community with black people. And, like, she does her hair like black girls, like, so when they do. When they're doing. Whereas Rasheeda has just the bang. You know what I'm saying? Kiara Lee leaves a bit of text, like, exactly.

[Jamila Bell]

You're in community.

[Mecca]

That's the difference.

[Jamila Bell]

It's the difference. And there's. And it doesn't have to be this, like, super extravagant conversation. I feel like black people who are obviously black who have never questioned their blackness, it's a split decision for us. It's not even something that we think about so deeply. That's why it's funny to me when it becomes a deep conversation. It's like, actually, we did think about it that deeply. We never thought, oh, my gosh. The reason we consider J. Cole Black is because it's like we just did. It was just like an easy.

[Mecca]

If you look at pictures using Rasheeda and Kiara as an example, again, if you look at pictures of them as little girls, they look very similar. And then as they go through teenagehood and decide who they're gonna be, then they start looking like who they're hanging out with. And Kiara was actually best friends with Aaliyah, and they have, like, matching. And it's like, Kiara. Kiara looks like Rasheeda full stop. But then you see Kiara next to Ali and it's like, these are two black girls. You know what I'm saying? These are two black girls with the blowout and the swoop and all this shit. And it's just like, yeah, even if you're going to look at someone like Mariah Carey, someone like Alato, you can tell they're biracial. But you can also be like, oh, well, hanging out with black people.

[Jamila Bell]

I was saying I can tell which.

[Mecca]

Side that they congregate on, gravitate towards. And I really think that, like, at the end of the day, even when you're discussing people who are quote unquote, passing, that's what it comes down to. But even if you are passing, again, you have. Mariah Carey has never pulled no bullshit.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Mariah Carey has. Never mind you. Mariah Carey is recognized, for the most part, as a black woman, but she doesn't do too much.

[Jamila Bell]

Right.

[Mecca]

When people are like, you don't look. She's just like, well, yes, it is.

[Jamila Bell]

What it is what it is.

[Mecca]

And these are just.

[Jamila Bell]

These are just things that are about me.

[Mecca]

And I've just noticed, like, there's a lot of mixed people in California. Obviously.

[Jamila Bell]

Same with Kiki Wyatt.

[Mecca]

Exactly.

[Jamila Bell]

Obviously. So black because of.

[Mecca]

It's like, mixed people who really be around black people are also like black people in the sense that they don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't care. Shut up.

[Jamila Bell]

Like, what are you talking about?

[Mecca]

Remember we were saying a couple weeks ago, like, we're some hypocrites. You're not black. Yes, I am. Okay.

[Jamila Bell]

All right. Well, next conversation. The biracial tendency. When do we give biracials the time to speak? Is always the question.

[Mecca]

But I just. I want. Like, again, I really feel like it's the biracials who are, like, not around us, who feel that way.

[Jamila Bell]

It is. I've never seen this young woman, so I can. If you show me a picture of her, then I'll give you black or not.

[Mecca]

No, I can show you. That's why this is funny.

[Jamila Bell]

And this is just based off my. My thoughts, just my opinions, just me looking at her.

[Mecca]

You're gonna see that.

[Jamila Bell]

And that's how I determine it, to be honest. If I look at you and I think you black, you black.

[Mecca]

Well, you won't think that.

[Jamila Bell]

That's just the. That's the old average Negro scale.

[Mecca]

I can tell you won't think. Just let me. I'm looking at this picture of you.

[Jamila Bell]

Oh, yeah, that baby not black.

[Mecca]

Oh. And so this was the other thing that she did.

[Jamila Bell]

This is the girl that's saying she black.

[Mecca]

Yes, but this was the other thing she did. She added all of the twitch. The black women twitch people, and was basically, like, getting all the white people to, like, say bad things. And apparently, allegedly, she referred to black people as that community. Da, da, da. So she doesn't, like. That's the thing. You're not in community.

[Jamila Bell]

It's getting racialized.

[Mecca]

It is getting racialized.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, that's a. That's gonna be a no for me, baby.

[Mecca]

With our conversation with Han, you could, like, after talking to Han, you could tell that she was somewhat tapped in.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, a little bit. You can. I can tell off. It's. It's. It's. It's an easy one, too.

[Mecca]

They were mad we posted Jake and Han during Black History Month.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, I don't know. They were already lined up. What do you want me to do? God damn it, what do you want me to do? I just feel like. What, did y'all want me to dance?

[Mecca]

First of all, the thing is, you're not subscribed to our Patreon. That's number one. Clockbattsy. These episodes are three weeks delayed, so these are from these Patreon got the Black History Month.

[Jamila Bell]

I'm just, you know. And on top of that, I took a long time to download them.

[Mecca]

So what?

[Jamila Bell]

Sue me.

[Mecca]

I don't know. I guess the timing. I didn't even think too much into it.

[Jamila Bell]

I'm also just black, so shut up. Not gonna take y'all seriously. What the fuck is y'all talking about?

[Mecca]

Oh, we have five other episodes with black creators that we need to. Mind you.

[Jamila Bell]

Jake is the only white that we. That is the only white person we even talked to.

[Mecca]

Wait, it was just because the comment was under Han's video and not even Jake's. It was like, yeah, y'all could have kept Jake and Han this month.

[Jamila Bell]

You know what? Y'all ain't gon.

[Mecca]

I said, now what? Hold on, hold on.

[Jamila Bell]

Y'all are so funny. Y'all funny. I love that. Y'all just be saying whatever the fuck.

[Mecca]

Sometimes it be a bit mean, it be a bit rude. But the ones that be funny, I do be laughing. Like that one there. Said y'all the girl. I think it was a girl. She said, you could have kept Jake and home this month. I was in my room cracking up. I said, damn, y'all. We didn't need. We recorded these in January. Damn, my bad. Subscribe to our Patreon $3. Check our links. You'll be on the Black History Month schedule. Hello.

[Jamila Bell]

And you know, one thing about us at Black History extends Fight the power.

[Mecca]

It's all year round. We're not just boxing ourselves into one month.

[Jamila Bell]

We're gonna extend that. How about that? You know, March is Women's Month, so. Black women. Black women. Hello. Black. What is it? Black Queens forever. Snow bunnies. Never.

[Mecca]

Well and hard.

[Jamila Bell]

Oh, my God. My bad, y'all. My bad, y'all.

[Mecca]

Shade.

[Jamila Bell]

I'm sorry.

[Mecca]

What you been into on the TikTok streets?

[Jamila Bell]

You know, honestly, I've been in such a. Ignoring, letting go.

[Mecca]

Yeah, same.

[Jamila Bell]

And it's been like. It's been blissful.

[Mecca]

I love it.

[Jamila Bell]

I made a TikTok about how I'm loving being on the outskirts, watching everybody else beef and, like, how there's kind of like a still, like, some fragments left over from the Beyonce bowl of it all. And I said, you know, why does a little part of me hope that you guys remain enemies forever? I mean, listening, like, I don't know, like this. You guys being like, archemes. I love it.

[Mecca]

Oh, what is the fragments? I don't. I honestly, I don't know where we're.

[Jamila Bell]

At now, but I just know that, yeah, they're never going to forgive each other. And I don't know. There's fragments as far as. There's fragments of conversations and arguments and hatred left over from spawns of new.

[Mecca]

Beef that spawned from the Beyonce bowl that is now dying out.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes. And just. I truly don't know all of the arguments that have happened. I just have been watching people talk, and I'll hear them mention names like, oh, that Tori girl. Or, oh, that Jouelzy girl. Oh, that Han girl. Oh, that Imani crutches and Spice girl. Like, they're just names, name dropping and, like, cussing. I don't know. I have no idea what the context is, nor do I care, but it's like, you know, I think Christina had said it really does remind you of, like, being at a. A family gathering where it's like, you know, these cousins hate each other, and.

[Mecca]

That'S not gonna lie as a messy bitch list for drama. I kind of. I think it's so T. Yeah, I.

[Jamila Bell]

Think it's so T. I'm living like.

[Mecca]

And then. And then the one cousin. I feel like we're becoming the cousins who be trying to stay above at all, but somehow kind of.

[Jamila Bell]

But being messy, what y'all had said.

[Mecca]

And then you come and dip a toe in and you ain't got all the information. That's not even. Oh, my bad.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. Oh, let me shut the hell up.

[Mecca]

Let me shut the hell up, Brian. Yeah, that happened to me this week, and I did the ignoring. I was like, oh, Drew had made a. Well, let me stop. Drew had made. Drew offalo, by the way, had been on a podcast.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

They posted the podcast.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. They post, like, a clip of the.

[Mecca]

Podcast on Valentine's Day. On Valentine's Day. I guess she was. When she was on the podcast, it was three years ago. It says she was talking about a specific situation.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

But the clip they've said was love yourself. That goes crazy. I start seeing, what are these videos on my for you page, where people are of just the conversation just A conversation. Right, right. Which is a conversation I've had right on here about, like, dating and loving yourself. It's more. I will say some of the videos I saw were a lot of energy.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

And I. It's just. It's funny the way I got sucked in because I watched. I was like, oh, I'm not mad. Like, I just want.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, I didn't get it.

[Mecca]

I just want to talk about this. Like, everyone's talking about it. Like it's whatever. And I even referenced that in the video that I made it say I ain't mad enough. You know, I'm not single enough that I'm mad, but if I was single enough, I could see. By yourself. Like, my, My video was very jokey, very cheeky. Like, not serious at all. Like, literally jokes and shits and gigs.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Then they were. Then they were like, this video was old, so. Mind you, my video was so light hearted. When somebody said in the comments the video was old, I was like, oh, still here. I mean, okay.

[Jamila Bell]

Like, yeah, you know, that's what I thought.

[Mecca]

You're not. You're literally not talking someone even when you.

[Jamila Bell]

Okay, cool.

[Mecca]

Like, the video is old. Right.

[Jamila Bell]

Thanks for the context.

[Mecca]

Thanks. What does that.

[Jamila Bell]

What does that change about what I said?

[Mecca]

Like, wait, hold on.

[Jamila Bell]

That was the funniest part because I felt like my video was.

[Mecca]

I said, fuck you, and then big finance man, and both of y'all go straight to hell. You'd have thought I said that because my.

[Jamila Bell]

I don't understand what happened.

[Mecca]

I don't know what happened. I went to sleep. Mind you, we were. I was watching it because I made it late at night before bed. Comments were pretty cool. Again, the person who. The person who corrected me, corrected me in that night span. So it was just like, okay, went to sleep, don't know what the fuck happened. Blew up. All of a sudden I'm.

[Jamila Bell]

Drew and Mecca are beefing, beefing.

[Mecca]

I said, no, we're not.

[Jamila Bell]

Where did this come from? Oh, and then I like, got tucked in it too, because it's just like Megan, Jila, Megan, Jamila. And I said, no, I get in it. And it's funny because it's like, let me go rewatch my video because am I stupid?

[Mecca]

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. I went away, rewatched the videos I made and was like, I didn't say anything wrong, mind you.

[Jamila Bell]

I rewatched it, chuckled.

[Mecca]

Because I'm so funny.

[Jamila Bell]

So funny.

[Mecca]

Literally. You know how, like when you start getting the group chat. Hey, guys, did I know you guys would tell me if I said something wrong. It was like, no, you didn't say anything wrong. But I can tell people, like always, we're just going off of what they were seeing the conversation. Because you always know that second window when, okay, a conversation is happening. And then the video actually pops up on your for you page. Yes, I got that. Inundated with the comments, like, is this the video you guys are talking about? And I was responding like, yes, you were like, this is not what I thought. This is not what I thought.

[Jamila Bell]

It changed. And that was the part like, I'm like, okay, guys, I think there's this thing that happens on TikTok where it's like you make a video that's in some way shape or form being perceived as a disagreement from somebody else, and now all of a sudden you have energy, you hate this person or you.

[Mecca]

It's like just so crazy because someone had said. I had said, even if I disagree, which the sentiment. Because there was a girl and they're like, viola Davis feels the same way. And I was like, first of all, I felt like it was low key. A micro. That's why. And that's why I was like waiting. I was waiting for the exact microaggression. Because the comments I was. This is. And I keep saying it. This is not a reflection on Drew. But I have noticed because it happened with Beyonce and Billie Eilish. Non black Stans. When their fave is going up against a black person, it can get weird. It can get weird so fucking quick. And I saw the shift in the comments. Like, whereas it was my audience talking to me, I saw it going to the other side.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

And all of a sudden it was getting a bit. The comments were just. It was like, this isn't horrible.

[Jamila Bell]

I got called a bitter baby mama. What? I said, now, hold on. I may be a bitter baby mama. What does that have to do with Drew?

[Mecca]

That's so crazy. You know, if you say Noah look like his daddy, you get Noah looks like me. You. You have. You have the clip.

[Jamila Bell]

I simply just speak the truth, you.

[Mecca]

Know, me and Jaz was talking about that last because he had made a face and Jaz was like, oh, he looked like his daddy when he did that. And they be acting like I'm bullshitting. Jamila be acting like I'm saying some bullshit.

[Jamila Bell]

I don't see it. How about that? My son is a Cartwright. Please, bitch, please. And that's all I knew, darling.

[Mecca]

Oh, my God. No, it's caught. It's a Bet my son is a bell from the Dorsey. And Jimmy.

[Jamila Bell]

The jeans are strong and long.

[Mecca]

You hear me, please, I'm crying. I was not ready for the cart right now.

[Jamila Bell]

I'm always willing to quote a movie.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take a break.

[Jamila Bell]

And we're back.

[Mecca]

It's the family that prays. Isn't that what that's from? That is such a quotable movie. Honestly, that's one of Tyler Perry's best.

[Jamila Bell]

It's one of his best.

[Mecca]

It really is. And you only have to see it maybe once or twice, but you're gonna know, like, the quote. That's so funny.

[Jamila Bell]

It's iconic.

[Mecca]

When Tyler Perry does his big one, he does his big one.

[Jamila Bell]

Hello.

[Mecca]

His good ones are good.

[Jamila Bell]

His good ones are.

[Mecca]

Good ones are good. I. I let y'all. I listen all the media movies. Am I a fan? No. But the plays I' talk.

[Jamila Bell]

The plays are engraved. The play which. What's your favorite play?

[Mecca]

You've got to cook and clean and wash everything.

[Jamila Bell]

Smile, grab. Honestly, which play is that? Is that from. Which play is that from?

[Mecca]

I can do bad. I don't. You know what I will say. I don't remember them by the names. I remember them by the stories.

[Jamila Bell]

One of my favorites is the family reunion play. That's when they're in the backyard the whole time. And one thing I love about an old black play. You get one set. We got one set, baby. We gonna flip that around. I love it. Yeah, they're in the backyard the whole time, and that's when they have the boy from Silk singing.

[Mecca]

Yes, yes.

[Jamila Bell]

I. When I tell you, me and Jazz sing that song all the time.

[Mecca]

No, no, no.

[Jamila Bell]

Sit on right now and let me talk to you. I say, oh, yeah, he ate that.

[Mecca]

So the thing is, what's so crazy about Tyler Perry plays is how, like, you started singing it. And I was. It was like coming back as you're singing, that's how engraved they are in your head. The old school, really, that the real Flex Alexander is going to be in that's coming to Houston. Don't know the name of it or anything, but I was telling her. I was like, yes, we are in that era. Let's go see a live black play.

[Jamila Bell]

I would love if Tyler Perry, like, I know he's kind of done with the plays, but if he was to come back. And I want to be one so bad, I.

[Mecca]

No, I always want to be in a Tyler Perry production. Yeah. I don't know, because, you know, like, that's the type of Shit that, like, I'm talking about was that. No, no, that was Jazz. When I. We had the crawfish boil last weekend, we were sitting, talking, because, you know, of course, Jazz and Sharonda were the first ones here. But, like, we're talking about. As you get older, it's like, you still want to socialize. You want to go out, have a few drinks. Do you want to go to the club and send a section? Well, no.

[Jamila Bell]

Right.

[Mecca]

But I do want to do an activity. And we were talking about, like, all the activities that you can do. And I told her about this play as well. I was like, I see the allure of, like, being an adult in the early 2000s and going to a Tyler Perry production.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

We're going to pre game.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

And we're going to go sit down and watch this play and laugh our asses off.

[Jamila Bell]

Right. And that was at a time where he was just at the cusp of fame, where he was still only black famous. And I'm talking about black hood famous, too. To where it was, like, so accessible. It wasn't hard to get tickets. It wasn't hard to do anything. Like, you could just do it. They were still going to the box office around that time. Like, that is just so. I always say, I don't know if you feel this way, but I'm like a sucker for nostalgia. I feel like I am wrapped up and I never want to let it go. Some people think that you should let go of nostalgia. I never will.

[Mecca]

Listen, I literally just made a TikTok before I went to bed. And I woke up this morning and I had, like, 300,000, like, views. And I was like, yeah, people feel like this because I was talking about nostalgia. Peplum tops are back in style.

[Jamila Bell]

Are they?

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

Don't know if I'll go that route.

[Mecca]

Because this girl made a video and she was. And she was like, older millennial. And she was like, peplum tops were like, boo. And she's like, I saw an ad for it today. And I was like. And so I made videos. Like, oh, my God. I think I saw the same ad. But our energy about this situation is so different because at this, I'm a sucker for, like, 2010. Like, I know everyone loves Y2K, which I do, too. But the 2000 and tens is. When I was in high school, I literally had a subscription to Seventeen, Teen Vogue, Word up, which is I said the Black Tiger Beat, but I couldn't think of the name Word Up. And I was on YouTube. I was just such a Teenage girl. And these are the trends that I was literally in my room, like, oh.

[Jamila Bell]

When I get money, wanting to be a part of.

[Mecca]

When I get money, I'm in the Jeffrey Campbell Hills. I'm in the bandage dresses. I'm in the.

[Jamila Bell]

Did you ever have some heelless heels? My auntie brought me some.

[Mecca]

Oh, heely. Yeah. Me and Derrickson had. I never learned how to skate on them because. No, no, no, no.

[Jamila Bell]

The heel is heels. The ones that.

[Mecca]

No, but I wanted. Do you get what I'm saying? Remember I was telling you that when I was at your house last week? The Exo beyond the music video for EXO encapsulates 2014 perfectly. Like, that is. I'm like, our era is coming back in style. Ready?

[Jamila Bell]

I've been seeing flannels.

[Mecca]

I'm ready. That's what I'm saying. Like, the 2010 fashion, especially, like, by the time 2014, 2015, we were in college, so we did. We didn't have money, but we had.

[Jamila Bell]

And it started to change a little bit.

[Mecca]

I don't. I'm not ready for the hunter boots to come back. I don't want those to come back.

[Jamila Bell]

There are some things I'm gonna. I'm gonna let the babies enjoy that I don't like. I've been there. I don't think I'm gonna go back to the peplums. I never really liked them, to be honest.

[Mecca]

I think they sent your waist in so hot.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. But I feel like they always looked really good for big titty girls.

[Mecca]

No.

[Jamila Bell]

Because they would just cut off right after them tits and boom. And they looked real good on big titty bitches.

[Mecca]

I think a good peplum with. Don't hate me. A capri.

[Jamila Bell]

I thought you were gonna say a pencil skirt. I was gonna say, come on, Sister Mary.

[Mecca]

I don't want. I. We missed business casual.

[Jamila Bell]

I love capris.

[Mecca]

I. I never. I love capri.

[Jamila Bell]

God, I love a Capri.

[Mecca]

I never stopped.

[Jamila Bell]

A little bit of ankle meat.

[Mecca]

Well, in California. Let me say this. I feel like Capris never. Well, they are more out of style now, but they just started, like. And it's funny because if they're. It looks like they're cycling back. So that means they were only out of style in Cali for a couple years. Because I remember when I went to Hampton and people were like, you're wearing capris? And I was like, well, I'm from California. It's hot all the time. Like, capris and some Burks, bitch. Come on. I don't Fit capris and some burq socks.

[Jamila Bell]

I remember there's a pair of capri pants that I had when I was a younger. A younger lady, a younger girl. And they had these like colored buttons. They had exposed buttons. And I just thought I was so fly. Like none of these bitches had these. And I felt like they made my butt look big. Mind you, I'm 13. But that was what was important to me at the time. I wanted to. And I thought I had a plump booty. Probably did not have anything at all. I had nothing. I was flat chested. I was just a body.

[Mecca]

It's about the.

[Jamila Bell]

Exactly. And so I wore those. I think I wore them every week. I would make sure they were washed and make sure they got reback.

[Mecca]

In real estate is being in middle school and high school and having your favorite article of clothing that you literally wear once during the weekend. Every weekend.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, I wore them the day that Michael Jackson died.

[Mecca]

That's a fun fact.

[Jamila Bell]

I remember the outfit.

[Mecca]

I remember what I was doing the day Michael Jackson died. We had went, what's crazy is this is about to age you. We were with my godbrother. He was like 2 or 3 because he was born in 06. It was about 3. It was the summertime. And I know that because we were out of school and it was like a weekday. And we were at the big library in downtown Sacramento. We had taken, me, Darrington and juju Jaden and my mom had taken us to the library and we did our whole morning in the library and all this stuff. And as we're leaving the library, a homeless man, because downtown Sacramento runs into the library and starts screaming, michael Jackson died. Now again, this is a fucking library. It's silent. And there's a man who's clearly homeless screaming, michael Jackson died. Michael Jackson died. I fuck you not. You know, my mom is a teacher and she's strict. She walked straight up to him and said, you shouldn't speak like that.

[Jamila Bell]

Lindy had to gather that man because.

[Mecca]

You know, like, she's an old school fan. She said, you shouldn't speak like that. He's like, he's dead.

[Jamila Bell]

He looked crazy, but. And what's crazy is that is the type of hysteria that actually happened.

[Mecca]

No, I'm not even done. I mean, they don't even know. Cars are like driving slow because it's downtown. But again, you don't. It's downtown. Maybe it's traffic, but the air was like, different. So we get in the car, which again, ageing you Juju's graduating high school. They moved to Atlanta. Actually, I'll be in Atlanta in May for his graduation. But like, we get in the car, my mom turns on the radio. The first thing they say, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson has died. My mom, well, she didn't like, you have to sit there for a second. And then like, you know, obviously they're playing all his music. People were stopping on. Like people were like, full stop. I have to stop. Like, like people. You're having to go around and then you're like going around these cars and you're. And the windows are down because it's summertime, it's hot. They're like clearly crying and it's like Michael Jackson playing on. It's. It was the craziest shit. I don't. I have not. I hadn't seen the world stop like that until Kobe died. That was the same type of. The world had to pause because the world fucking paused. Granted, when Kobe died, we were all inside because of what it was right before.

[Jamila Bell]

It was just at the beginning. So we were like. We didn't know just how serious Covid was yet.

[Mecca]

School was about to start. I forgot I was at my ex's house. I don't know why I wasn't outside that day. But we were at his house. But like, I was also. It was just so weird. The day Michael Jackson died. There should be a movie. The day Michael Jackson died.

[Jamila Bell]

No, literally, that day was so insane. I will never forget the intimate details of that. I was actually at my grandparents house in Mobile. And because we were just there for the summer, it was me, Jelani and Jonathan and they, they were on a rampage that weekend. They were so bad that weekend, Jelani and Jonathan. And I just was feeling like, ugh, I'm the older sibling. Like, I was just too cool for school. So I would always just like sit with my grandma and watch her stories and stuff. And so I had on my little capri pants that I said I had on this orange shirt with gold jewels right here. It was my favorite outfit, honestly. Truly, I had on my best for him.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jamila Bell]

And we were just watching my grandmother's stories and my grandfather, she was watching Days of our Lives. Oh, she watched all of them though.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jamila Bell]

She. But she was, she was faithful. But we was, I think was watching Days of our Lives that day. And my grandfather was in their room and he was watching the news because he's an old man and that's what he would do. He watched news or Jeopardy or an old western. Those are the only things that he.

[Mecca]

Watched old blacks from the south love a Western.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

You know, there's an actual. Because my grandmother, that's all her TV stays on is the Western channel.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. That's the only reason I know some of those things, because of him. So he's in there. So, yeah, I'm laying on the couch and my grandfather opens the door. And my grandfather was infamous for just saying things just like, what is.

[Mecca]

What are you talking about? He was a man of his generation, still a black man.

[Jamila Bell]

But it's funny is he was a man of. He was not a talker, but he would always just say random things. And so he busts out that door, he go, y'all turn on the news. They say, michael Jackson the damn died. Excuse me? I said, granddaddy, why would you say something like that? Because I'm like thinking he's trying to play with me. Why would you say that? I'm thinking he's trying to play with me. Because everybody knows that I was Mrs. Michael Jackson. Like, I was indebted. I was like, so down bad. So I'm like, granddaddy, why would you say that? That is so mean to say. Until I. They actually turned on the news. I said, and mind you, when they turned on cnn, the first image I see is him on that fucking stretcher. That image is in gray.

[Mecca]

Was he covered up or not?

[Jamila Bell]

No, they had the thing on him.

[Mecca]

Because they were going to bring him down the stairs. Yes, yes.

[Jamila Bell]

That was the first thing I see on tv that. That image is never leaving my sight because that traumatized the fuck out of me. I've never seen him like that before. And that image is insane. I was like, oh, my God. Like, that was serious. I said, what the. I literally at that point, it wasn't confirmed.

[Mecca]

Because they were trying.

[Jamila Bell]

Right? So we were watching this live. That was live, right? They were bringing him into the ambulance. So that was live. And so I remember it was Wolf Blitzer who announced it directly. I was there. So before it had got announced, Jasmine Ass called me. She said, michael Jackson's dead. I was like, no, he's not. CNN has not confirmed. Don't you speak evil over his name. I hang up. And I mean, not 30 seconds later with Blitzer goes, we have confirmed Michael Jackson dead at 50. When I tell you I was already standing up.

[Mecca]

I fell to the floor.

[Jamila Bell]

I'm talking about full on hysteria. I'm on the floor flailing. Jazz. I mean, not jazz. Jelani and Jonathan come from the back room and they're looking at me like, what the fuck just happened? My grandmother is trying to pick me up off the floor.

[Mecca]

Like, come on, baby, come on.

[Jamila Bell]

I am losing my mind. Like, I was. I don't think I've ever screamed before. I lost my mind. I was so distraught. I literally was just like, no, I.

[Mecca]

Was supposed to see him.

[Jamila Bell]

No, I'm literally like, just falling out. Like, I couldn't even stand up. And so then my grandmother picks me up and she's like, it's okay, baby. It's okay, baby. Everybody got to go. And she starts to give me the death talk, and I'm like, I don't want to hear this right now. That is Michael Joseph Jackson. And so what's crazy is this is how, you know, I was really Mrs. Michael Jackson. Do you know that my entire family began to call me as if I was the mourning. I was in mourning.

[Mecca]

I heard they were calling you. Like, you was the one in one.

[Jamila Bell]

They were calling me back to back. I had so many. I don't even remember who all called me because I was just so disillusioned. But my whole family was calling me. Like, I heard about Michael, and it got so I heard about Mike, as if we all knew him. But it really was crazy because, like, it just felt so unreal. And of course, I knew at the time he was planning his big tour, this is it. Which was gonna be his, like, you know, farewell. I was fully ready to go to that tour. I was pissed. How could you die?

[Mecca]

But you went and just saw the movie. Well, of course, yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

I mean, I went to see the movie, but that's not the tour. I wanted to see him. I wanted to be front row, like I am gonna be for Beyonce. And I wanted to scream and I wanted to have my moment, so. But yeah, it was such a disappointment, distinct day. And then, God, they did not make it any better by drowning us in Michael Jackson for the next couple of weeks.

[Mecca]

I know Michael Jackson, remember the BET Awards was like, right after that. That's how Chris. His children don't even know that's was Chris Brown's comeback. Michael Jackson dying was his, like, comeback. He was crying, snotting.

[Jamila Bell]

They had to, like, really. They had to damn near change their whole show in like, a matter of, like a week. Damn.

[Mecca]

Jackson did a scream so good.

[Jamila Bell]

That was on the MTV. That was the VMAs. Yeah, it was so good. I was crying then, too. I cried with everything, to be honest with Michael, his movie's coming out the. The biopic that was Actually authorized by the family this time. And I'll be crying for that as well.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Was American Dream authorized by the family though?

[Jamila Bell]

Yes, but it was. It was.

[Mecca]

But it was serious. Wasn't a movie. Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

And it wasn't just Michael. It led up to writing when he got to Thriller.

[Mecca]

Right. It.

[Jamila Bell]

It really wasn't just about.

[Mecca]

It was made in 1993, so it stopped at Thriller. But it was like.

[Jamila Bell]

Because I don't even think they really showed.

[Mecca]

Yeah. They didn't even show more about their childhood.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. You know, the reunion tour and that's what it went right up into that point.

[Mecca]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

I didn't even get to really through that.

[Mecca]

Yeah, no, that's a really well done miniseries though.

[Jamila Bell]

Really, really good.

[Mecca]

And I like how they did. How Joe and Katie met too.

[Jamila Bell]

I love that.

[Mecca]

I love how they started. And there are some. I have recently stumbled upon archivist of Michael Jackson who. And I've seen pictures of both Joe, like his grandparents, who I didn't know. You know, you don't think about these things. Like, wow, you actually have a family too. And it's a lot of pictures.

[Jamila Bell]

They have a large family.

[Mecca]

I mean, obviously they had pictures of them like all of the 70s and 80s, like basically in Gary, Indiana with their grandparents. And it's like shit that you. I've never seen, I've obviously never seen these candid family photos before. So I was like, first of all, where'd you guys get these? Because this is Joe's dad, this is Katherine's mom. Like, where'd you guys get these?

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, it's so much. There's so much Jackson lore.

[Mecca]

But I mean in Gary, Indiana's small. I actually know like we have family friends who are from Gary and it's like the. Their family, the Jacksons are. A lot of them are still there. So it's like, like the person was like, well, half of Gary is related to them anyway. Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

That big ass family.

[Mecca]

And it's not a big city and it's Indiana's really black.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, it's like super black. Like Gary is actually one of the blackest cities in this country.

[Mecca]

Yeah. No, it makes sense. It really does. Well, we love the Jacksons. I be forgetting Tito done Gone to Glory as well. Sometimes I saw him and they put him in there. I was really wanting.

[Jamila Bell]

I was really wanting for when the movie to come out for the premiere for all of the kids, all the Jackson. Because at that point Michael was the only one that was gone except for the twin that had died. When they were like a baby, but whatever. So it would have been all of them back together to support this movie of their brother memorializing him that way. And Tito now gone, too. Oh, I'm gonna be a mess. I think I need to dress as Janet or something for the movie. I haven't determined how I'm gonna dress, but I will be.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take a break.

[Jamila Bell]

And Rebecca.

[Mecca]

I was going through my Michael Jackson phase, and I feel vindicated. I always felt a Kendra spirit in latoya. I did. I know she's the problematic sibling, but I do feel like.

[Jamila Bell]

But she's gone through a lot. So we forgive. So we forgive her.

[Mecca]

Just. And then being on the. In the space and time we're in now, we're learning about women and abuse and sexual abuse. It's like. Like, latoya, I knew you weren't a bad guy. Yeah, I knew, like, you were just. She came back, you know, we knew.

[Jamila Bell]

She would come back.

[Mecca]

I really. This is like my wish of a parallel universe. I. As someone who really enjoys black features, I love black features. I. Especially the girls. I really. With the exception of Reby, because Reby's nose job is so, like, it's so crazy how I wonder if either Rebi was the first nose job. I believe she has to be the last because she has the same nose as them. But it looks good, if you get what I'm saying. Like, hers still looks very nice. I want to see what they would look like without the nose jobs. Because I think latoya was so pretty. Like, Latoya was so pretty for her nose job. Seriously. Janet went and got hers right when she graduated high school. So we didn't even really get to see her, like, what she would have looked like outside of it. But latoya, when she used to have them big ass baby hairs in that 70s. Farrah Fawcett. Latoya was some tea girl.

[Jamila Bell]

It's really. It's interesting because it's like they're really just a good looking family. They're all super, super cute. Like when they were kids, like, they were just the cutest kids. Oh, my God. I just love them. I mean, we can look at Jackie. Well, Jackie ain't touched nothing. Still look good. He was fine. Jackie was always the fine one. Now Jackie's a good looking man. He's fine. Yes, he looks really good. He's aged very well.

[Mecca]

What I enjoy about the Jacksons, they're not a complete Diana Ross. They have, like, half of them have gone white and half of them are still black.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. A little half and half.

[Mecca]

A little half of them.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. And it's funny because they all look alike. Yes.

[Mecca]

All of them spawns kids that Michael has, because them is not his kids.

[Jamila Bell]

They're his children. They're just not biologically his. And that's okay. That's because they're still Jacksons, but they don't look like. And, well, if Paris tried to say.

[Mecca]

She was black, y'all would get mad. Paris Jackson is a black Jamila.

[Jamila Bell]

I don't speak on those babies.

[Mecca]

She's fucking orange.

[Jamila Bell]

I don't speak on those babies. I don't speak on them babies.

[Mecca]

You know, Shout out to Paris. You just overcame addiction. Seriously. Did you see that? I was being serious.

[Jamila Bell]

The segue was insane. I was not Paris. I did see. Did you see? She was doing heroin? Heroin. I mean, her dad died.

[Mecca]

Yeah, but heroin is crazy.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. I probably do heroin. If my dad died in 09. And I was like, just. I just got here.

[Mecca]

What the fuck?

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, like what.

[Mecca]

When I read that caption, I said, God, I mean, good for, like, seriously, good for her for, like, overcoming it. But that's fucking deep. To be like, heron is one of the.

[Jamila Bell]

More. That's the bottom of the road.

[Mecca]

Yeah, like, that's bottom. Like your.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. My dad used to work at a facility, so it was a mental institution, essentially. But of course, it. They also do rehab because kind of the same shit. Like, it's a mental thing. So he dealt with a lot of people with addictions, and he would always say, like, the people who did heroin, they were real addicts. Like, there was a different level of addiction because there's just. It's just. It's the end of the road, essentially. And a lot of people who did the. You know how there's the gateway drugs or whatever that they call them, which really is a thing I fear. I hate to. I hate to be all there. But there is a such thing as gateway. Now, is marijuana the gateway drug they say it is? No, but a lot of those drugs definitely are a gateway. Right. And so they'll kind of just take you, take you, take you. And because heroin is so addictive and so intense, like, it's hard to shake.

[Mecca]

My dad used to do heroin.

[Jamila Bell]

Damn.

[Mecca]

Yeah, he definitely. He overcame that. Like, that's a fun fact. He doesn't. That's right in his arms. So whenever we take him to the doctor, it's always like a pain in the ass because we. About the same skin tone. So you would think it'd be easy to find a vein. They're all gone. Yeah. Shout out to Fred, too, for overcoming heroin addiction. Just.

[Jamila Bell]

Oh, good old Ray Charles.

[Mecca]

Listen, he was at that time and. Yeah, what you're talking about the gateway drugs. I've actually talked to him. He's like, well, yeah, it's like, we knew certain stuff was bad, but then it's like you keep trying to do more.

[Jamila Bell]

And it was so. Especially because I know he was in them streets and around was so easy to get into. Like, even with, like, Ray Charles. Like, everybody who's in the music industry around that time was. Was on that smack, is what they used to call it, that smack on that dope.

[Mecca]

That's why when. Whenever people. Someone was like, I said, hair on, and they're like, yo, what time are you from? I said, hey, old time.

[Jamila Bell]

Like, yeah, we dream. Has that hair on.

[Mecca]

That's. That hair on.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, yeah. Damn. Yeah. It's actually insane. My dad also said that.

[Mecca]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

My dad said school, though.

[Mecca]

Like, not the one that's cut.

[Jamila Bell]

No, no, no, no. The real.

[Mecca]

The real.

[Jamila Bell]

The pure. The pure that they was getting with.

[Mecca]

The pinky at, like, studio.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. If I was a product of the times, let me tell you something.

[Mecca]

I would have been, because I'll be honest, I didn't. I didn't see. I'm not diagnosed officially with ADHD or two. And the way that Adderall makes me not have no appetite. If I had been on, baby, my jaw would have been. Look like Chris Brown.

[Jamila Bell]

Let me tell you, baby, I would have been in Studio 54 sweating.

[Mecca]

And I would have been skinny as a boy. And I would be like Diana Ross just.

[Jamila Bell]

And I would have had all the.

[Mecca]

Boys love about the thin coke. Thin. You so skinny that your titties deflated a little bit. You.

[Jamila Bell]

They don't.

[Mecca]

The children don't know about the.

[Jamila Bell]

It be nothing but chest. Oh, just nipple. Just chest and rib, and they didn't give a damn. Yeah, yeah, I would have been there. I would have for sure been there. No doubt in my mind. And it's funny because now, like, because of who I am sober, I actually am terrified to ever see myself on the cocaine. I don't think I. Those are things that I don't need. And I'm glad that I have that discernment in myself to know that, because, number one, I feel like I would get addicted to it because I feel like I would love myself on cocaine.

[Mecca]

Yeah. That's part of the reason, like, I won't say it's not like I won't get diagnosed for adhd, but the couple times. The couple times I have, like, when I've taken Adderall a handful of times, like, in college, to focus here and there, like, literally, like, five times. First of all, I love it. Secondly, I don't eat for three days. And thirdly, I'm like, I don't need to be taking this on a regular basis. I got a raw dog life, because I will. Oh, my God. Before we. Before we go into spin and I have to show you the story, I was, like, gonna say, I will lose my ass. But the thing is, when I was living in Baltimore and going through it with my ex, because I am one of the people who, like. Like, you know, people are emotional eaters. I'm emotional. Like, when I'm emotional, I don't have an appetite. I don't eat at all. So, like, when I was living in Baltimore, I was extremely thin, and I'll never forget this boy from Sacramento. I posted a picture, and it was to the side, and I looked at the picture, and I, like, granted, I was still slim, thick. It was still a little bump. It just wasn't. It wasn't fat or nothing. I was a little bump. He was like, damn, they don't let you have no ass in Maryland.

[Jamila Bell]

And it was at that moment I knew, Damn.

[Mecca]

Damn, they don't have no ass in Baltimore.

[Jamila Bell]

Oh.

[Mecca]

Oh, my God. So I. I was just sad and I wasn't hungry, so I can't be on these. These ADHD pills that are gonna make. I will lose my ass. Damn. They want you to have no ass in Houston. No. They let you have all the ass out here. It's me.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

And then you started eating again.

[Mecca]

Yeah, and then I never really stopped.

[Jamila Bell]

If I was to do cocaine, I would, like, go. I just know I would be like. I would go in and I would just become a crackhead. You know, I'm. I'm smoking pipe. That's why I would.

[Mecca]

Do you know that? Do you know the story? Darrington found meth in his car?

[Jamila Bell]

Yes, you told me about that.

[Mecca]

My brother bought a car. Like a. Like a. Obviously a used car. And he never uses the back seat, right? And it's Alexis. So he bought, like, a used car. He just throws his gym back there. He only drives in the front seat. So he was cleaning it out one day, and in, like, the head part, it's like a compartment. So he's like, what the fuck is this? He opens a little booby trap. Full on methamphetamine paraphernalia and a whole thing of crystal.

[Jamila Bell]

Whoever lost that was.

[Mecca]

We said Babe was probably more mad about that than the repo. Oh, for sure. Because when I say that, mind you, he didn't know what it was. So he called his homegirl, shout out to Lex, who Darryton was. I'm like, dang, we be out there, but we're not. Like, we're Fred's kids, but we Lindy's kids, too, because he didn't know what it was. So he called Lex and he said. He put it in the camera, and she instantly said, whoa, bro, what are you doing? Whoa, whoa. He's like, no, I'm asking you what this is. She was like, that's crystal. And no lie. It looks like shards of glass.

[Jamila Bell]

It gets its name. Honestly.

[Mecca]

No. No.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

It really just looks like crystals.

[Jamila Bell]

Wow. Interesting. Yeah. Do you know what crack smells like? I do.

[Mecca]

You've been to Philly. Shout out to the Eagles.

[Jamila Bell]

Crazy.

[Mecca]

Didn't you say you wanted to go to Philly? Let's go smell some crack.

[Jamila Bell]

My dad told me that crack smells like car exhaust.

[Mecca]

Let's spin it.

[Jamila Bell]

We're gonna take a break.

[Mecca]

And we're back.

[Jamila Bell]

All right, y'all, let's get into some. Spin it. Spin it.

[Mecca]

All right. Spin it. Is our sec. First of all, I don't. I feel like we haven't said this in a while, but if you want to write in and let us know about your salacious, messy situations, definitely email at unhinged Moral Pod gmail dot com. I feel like we just be reading the spin and we don't always say the email, but spinning is our segment. Jamila and I were PR communication girlies in undergraduate. Now, full disclosure, we're not PR professionals, but we do like the hustle. We do like the game. We do like to give you guys a little spin on how to get out of your pickle when it comes to something messy that you've done. We do have an update on. What was it? Brenda, Catherine, and Brianna. Was that the names we gave him? Brianna, Catherine, Angela. The girl who. Brianna Angela was a friend. Catherine was married. Brianna was talking to Catherine. The episode where I was like, husband.

[Jamila Bell]

Where Mecca was.

[Mecca]

I did not realize. I did not realize you were sleeping with that lady husband. That's. I thought that was a boyfriend. I thought that was an apartment, not a home.

[Jamila Bell]

So we have an update, which is exciting. I'm loving the updates, y'all. Also, if you do send us a message, be sure to include your ages for all of the people involved so that we can really give you some.

[Mecca]

Good advice that matters.

[Jamila Bell]

All right, let's get into it. Hey, Mecca. Hey, Jamila. I've been watching y'all probably for weeks waiting for my Spin it to air. And lo and behold, it aired on today's episode. Thank y'all for choosing my story. So much so I felt compelled to give y'all an update. I told Catherine. Catherine is on Brianna's head. Catherine also got her man back.

[Mecca]

No, that's right.

[Jamila Bell]

He said he did it to get her mad because he knew he could get Brianna.

[Mecca]

Brianna, don't you feel like a stupid.

[Jamila Bell]

I know you feel like a dumb. Keep going. Katherine and her man are back together after watching. I see. It wasn't clear, but they were not married at the time. But they are married now. It's been two weeks. God damn. When they was in the courthouse.

[Mecca]

Okay, I'm sorry. Keep going. We just.

[Jamila Bell]

I too. I'm too. Am confused. And now I'm crying because y'all gave me the name Angela and that's my fake name when I go out. Lol. But Brianna and I are no longer quote, unquote, friends. She is the godmom to my kids, so she keeps in contact with them. This ain't the first time Briana pulled no mess like this. She did it years ago with another mutual friend, and I messed up and gave her an option to tell on herself. And she did. And she told me she did. This time I told my girl, told Briana she was dead wrong. She's mad at me because she feels I chose Katherine over her. You damn right I did. Exactly. You can't keep fucking.

[Mecca]

Everyone's mad.

[Jamila Bell]

Brianna. We in our 30s, too old to be moving like that. Like, are you dumb? But appreciate y'all. I'm glad y'all were enthusiastic about my story. Oh, that was a good update.

[Mecca]

Got married in the two weeks of the.

[Jamila Bell]

Got her back and doubled.

[Mecca]

But y'all tried to make it seem like I was stupid because they said she said she wasn't married.

[Jamila Bell]

I just saw a separation and assumed marriage.

[Mecca]

So they were probably engaged.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, I guess they were in some type. They were clearly close to that, so I guess it was. It was still kind of the same.

[Mecca]

It was still kind of the same. Both advices apply, I feel. Yeah, but Briana, girl, that's. And you done did it before.

[Jamila Bell]

I was gonna say now it's giving character flow. We need to. Brianna, I need you to sing Harry.

[Mecca]

On a Grande Cambriana Because Cambriana, can you sing? Because girl, that's the only reason we be overlooking her in one man. Because she could sing.

[Jamila Bell]

And it's like, Briana, I need you to come to the front and I want to know your side of the story because do you just be. Why do you fuck everybody's man? Cuz there is a thing where there are women out there who only like to other bitches. Men. And they're chase. What is that? What is the chase?

[Mecca]

The chase of like, you know how when you're sneaking something and it feels like, like the thrill of. It's like, I'm not supposed to be having this, but I am. And then also the. The process of getting it because you, you know, they should be like not giving into your advances right away.

[Jamila Bell]

Right. So it's like a little game of cat and mouse. Can I get that?

[Mecca]

And then if you notice, like as soon as they get what they want, it's no longer thrilling. They don't care. That's really what I think Ariana has.

[Jamila Bell]

Hey.

[Mecca]

I mean, at this point, Elizabeth Taylor too. Like, the thing is when you know your friend is like that, at that point your friend is so at this point, like, like Angela said, this is who Brianna is. So you have to make the point, the choice. Do you love your friend? As is.

[Jamila Bell]

I was gonna say the friend Fatal Flaw.

[Mecca]

The friend Fatal Flaw. But where Brianna's up is you're friends of the home. Like you're.

[Jamila Bell]

That's where.

[Mecca]

Because I said that someone said y'all are selectively girls.

[Jamila Bell]

Girls.

[Mecca]

And I will take that.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mecca]

If my friend is someone else's man, I don't know. Do I approve? No, but I mean, it's my friend. You can't. My friend's man though.

[Jamila Bell]

Right? And I think that's the. That's what's gonna happen right now. Like, I don't know if you guys have heard because I said your friend Fatal Flaw. The idea is your friends are gonna have some things that you may not you. It may annoy you or may have some things. And you have to determine is this gonna be bad enough for me to not be friends with them or is it just. It's just gonna be my friends fatal flaw. And I'm just gonna accept them for who they are because you can't change. There's a lot of things that you really can't change about your friends. So it's like I'm just gonna accept this crazy little part of you. Yeah. So your friend Fatal Fly is basically There's a characteristic or something about your friend that you may kind of annoy you or get on your nerves or something, but you have to take the time to think, is this something that is going to interact with our friendship to the point where I don't want to be friends with them, or is this something I'm just going to accept? And if you're going to accept it, then you accept it and you don't keep bringing it up, and it just.

[Mecca]

Is what it is.

[Jamila Bell]

And I feel like everybody has a fatal flaw. So it's like friendship, fatal flaws, relationship fatal flaws, whatever it is. So Brianna's fatal flaw is she's a nicop.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

And so.

[Mecca]

But you can't the friend.

[Jamila Bell]

But you can't friend.

[Mecca]

You're the friend, but you can't the friends. The friends.

[Jamila Bell]

You can't be cousin Faith. You know what the family. I left the family in my house. You know what the family husband. You can't be like Faith.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jamila Bell]

Know. They knew Faith was fast. Everybody knew Faith was fast. Everybody knew Faith was. Was. Was doing some bullshit. That's why she was the cousin. That was. That's why when she came over, it was like, oh, Faith, you know, she's. She never has a stable home. But you love Faith because that's your cousin. But you let Faith in that home and family, and God damn it, she fucked the family.

[Mecca]

And, you know, that's what Karen Clark sheer told Keke. And they got mad at Kiki, but, you know, Ms. Karen said, don't you let them have to spend the night at your house behind your husband. You know, Kiki husband are cute too. Not that he was cheap, but especially.

[Jamila Bell]

If your friend is a. I was.

[Mecca]

Gonna say that might be something your friend want to get into.

[Jamila Bell]

And it's like, do you do. I don't. I don't think I have any friends.

[Mecca]

No, I don't think I have any friends too. I do have. I don't think I have. I don't think I have no friends.

[Jamila Bell]

But I don't think I've ever had the thought of like, let me not leave. Let me not leave this, because if you do it, maybe you did it.

[Mecca]

And he it to.

[Jamila Bell]

And it's just.

[Mecca]

I've never had that thought. I. I've had some home girls be unfaithful, but that ain't my business.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, same. I don't care when they say, would you be friends with somebody who's cheated? Did they cheat on me? I don't give up. They just do it every day.

[Mecca]

Shut the up.

[Jamila Bell]

Cheat every day. I don't care if I cheat.

[Mecca]

She didn't cheat me. All right, we about to get to this other spinach because last week y'all got mad. Oh, y'all only did.

[Jamila Bell]

What is this?

[Mecca]

What is this called?

[Jamila Bell]

Update My bad. Draw my visual.

[Mecca]

Oh, Roberta Flack died, and we just talked about Michael Jackson dying.

[Jamila Bell]

I thought she was already dead.

[Mecca]

That's so fun.

[Jamila Bell]

Crazy.

[Mecca]

Oh, what? I feel like Jamila. No.

[Jamila Bell]

Now I'm sad. I thought she was already gone. Damn. How old was she when she died?

[Mecca]

She had to been in her late 70s. She's a older lady, cuz. Remember Luther Vandross used to sing back up for her? 88. Yeah, she had a long life. That's why I thought she was already dead. I knew she was off.

[Jamila Bell]

Oh, okay.

[Mecca]

Well, she wasn't already dead. She died today. Rest in peace, Roberta.

[Jamila Bell]

Rest in peace.

[Mecca]

Love me some Roberta.

[Jamila Bell]

Well, all right, let's.

[Mecca]

88 years. That's a blessing.

[Jamila Bell]

All right, this is called Single Mom Needs Help. Ugh. Let me lock in.

[Mecca]

It's your ministry. Oh, girl, you're pretty. She has a picture. Hey, girlies. I want to start off by saying y'all are really killing it with Yalls podcast. So far, I've been living on my own for three years with no fit and very little friends. And listening to y'all kind of keeps me grounded and makes me feel less lonely. Me and my child's father have not been living together since moving to a new city three years ago. I tried working things out, but this year, he confessed that he has had sex with other women because I said we should focus on just co parenting. Personally, I felt that he moved on to dating too fast, but then I remembered some of the shitty things that he did while we lived together, so I shouldn't be surprised. I think I'm ready to move on to date. However, seeing my mom get into abusive relationships after her and my dad split, I wouldn't want to risk having my daughter, seven years old, see me go through the same things. Do you guys have any advice on dating or talking? Being a single mom, I'm not desperate or looking into getting into a new relationship, but this broken heart needs a distraction.

[Jamila Bell]

Okay, so first of all, I need to break this down into a few different thoughts.

[Mecca]

It was such a short letter, but it had so much.

[Jamila Bell]

It did.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

So, first of all, that was probably doing that before. I hate to break that.

[Mecca]

That's why you said you were Surprised, but I'm glad.

[Jamila Bell]

I just want you to. Because you didn't say those words. I need you to say those words. He was probably when y'all was.

[Mecca]

When y'all was together. Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

Just to put that out there, that's number one. Number two, I hate to sound so blunt, but I need to. I need to. You asked me don't care that he moved on that quick after y'all have broken up. Y'all are broken up. Sorry. I don't think there's a such thing as moving on too fast because you only think that because you still have feelings for him in some way. I'm not saying that you still are in love with him or all these. But you have some feelings for him. That's why you feel like he moved on too quick. He clearly is showing you that he does not have those same feelings for you. So if you needed a sign, if there was ever a sign that it's time for you to let that go, let that thought go and move on, that's it. He's other. You need to be other. Or at least talking to somebody else like him. And this actually, your dating advice I'm going to give you has nothing to do with your kids. Because I don't know what it is about single mothers. And I've been. I've been there, so I can say this. We always feel like we have to. It's. But I'm a single mother. I'm kids. Single mother kids. That actually has nothing to do with when you should start dating, how you should start dating, any of those things. As long as your children are taken care of and they're good, you can date. Now, obviously, if your kids ain't taken care of, maybe dating should be your priority. But if your kids are taking care of and you, you. You handle business as a mother, you should not feel no type of shame with dating. Dating multiple people, finding that love of your life and doing those things because number one, the man is doing it. And number two, you're a woman who has kids. You're not. Your identity is not having kids. That is a part of your story. That's not your whole story. Like, you're still a bitch.

[Mecca]

That's the one thing. By little moms not being my biological daughter, I. A lot of the things that single moms feel about dating, I did not feel. But I did have the experience of being a quote unquote single mom. And when I was dating, like, not to sound like this, she didn't stop a motherfucking Thing?

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Like, to your point, she's taken care of, she's fed, she's full. She's in here. She's happy. I'm going on. And mind you, when I got her, she was 2012, 13, 14. So she was also coming into her own in terms of. I was very open about dating with her. I didn't tell her on my business. I didn't let. I didn't bring no around her.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, but she was, like, kind of. Of age where she could, like, be at home by herself.

[Mecca]

I was gonna say she wasn't a baby. I would go on dates, and I would leave for a couple hours and come back. I would. You know, we had rules and boundaries. You need to be in bed, and when I get back, you need to be sleep and all this. She had chores and shit. We had a really good setup. But what I'm saying is I never felt like, because I'm taking care of her, I can't date. Like, I didn't. I didn't have those feelings, to her point, about the abusive relationships and having a fear of dating. As a mom, going through that experience with your kids, I hate to sound.

[Jamila Bell]

That was the trauma part that kind of gagged me.

[Mecca]

I was like. And it's the trauma part, unfortunately, as women, and this is why we say it's so scary, you can't. You wouldn't know. There's nothing you can do to, like. Like, prevent that from happening. We can now. What we can do is try and.

[Jamila Bell]

Like, gauge the signs.

[Mecca]

Like, gauge and look for signs. But men can be perfect and then one day decide to start to be abusive. Like.

[Jamila Bell]

And that's the part that frustrates me about the conversation of single women. When the men start to talk about how, oh, you guys need to pick better. I don't think y'all are understanding. It's lit. Like. I think a lot of men misunderstand the idea that a lot of these men lie. And when we were saying lies, they.

[Mecca]

Get it because they themselves, like, that's the thing. We just live under a patriarchy, and people want to act like, they don't want to say the quiet part out loud, which I feel like a lot of times you and I actually get in trouble for. But it's like, I think that we, like, even to your point, I think we give men too much. They don't know. No, they do. They just know how the patriarchy is set up.

[Jamila Bell]

Like, you niggas, you watch your homeboys lie all.

[Mecca]

Like, you watch your friends do it. Yourself.

[Jamila Bell]

These niggas lie. I'm not just talking about telling lies, I'm talking about living a lie.

[Mecca]

Living lies.

[Jamila Bell]

They are a lie because they will mold themselves into the perfect person for you so that you can be disillusioned. And then boom, out of nowhere, they're the meanest thing you've ever met in your life. What the fuck just happened? And it is, it is so interesting being somebody who has been been in a verbally abusive relationship. When I tell you it's not something that you can see coming, that is the scariest part about it. And that's what scared me the most because I'm very, very headstrong. I'm very, very independent. I'm all of these things. So when I'm looking back at the situation, I'm like, what the fuck? It's really a mind fuck. Because you don't even realize sometimes how abusive the situation was until you're out of it.

[Mecca]

Out of it.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, it's really insane. I don't think people recognize people who have not been in that situation. They really don't know how it works. And I didn't, I honestly misunderst until I was in a situation. It's a slow progression. It's a slow progression. It's one argument first and then next thing you know it's two and then next you know, that's all you do. It's not something that's a switch over.

[Mecca]

Also, it wasn't until I was in therapy post relationship and my therapist was like, so it sounds like you were an abusive, an emotionally abusive relationship. And I was like, what? Like you, like, you're like. She was like, no, it sounds like emotional abuse.

[Jamila Bell]

Use.

[Mecca]

When we talk about love bombing, we use it very like, what is this? Freely but like the whole point of love bombing is someone love bombing you.

[Jamila Bell]

And then pulling and then pulling that.

[Mecca]

Back, which I experience firsthand on a regular basis. Like I would get inundated with I love you, I love you. All these gifts, all these. And then all of a sudden you.

[Jamila Bell]

Hate me for two weeks and then.

[Mecca]

Just like dangling and you're trying to, and you're constantly trying to get back to the place of like, oh my God, what can I do to like, you know, fuck. And I talked about this on TikTok last night. I'm like, I. I fortunately had that very traumatizing brain altering relationship in my early twenties. So now unfortunately this is the flip side of this. So this might be what sister's going through now. Every little thing I Don't, like, fuck that. I'm gone.

[Jamila Bell]

I'm triggered. But I feel like, I don't feel like it's a problem because I do feel like it's protecting me. And so I'm so very much, like, kind of tying it back to our Valentine's Day episode. I am very, very, like, hyper aware. I am. I don't.

[Mecca]

So strict. I mean, like, what we're talking about.

[Jamila Bell]

I don't even want to date anybody remotely close to that person. Like, like I said, I don't want anybody who's nonchalant. I don't want any of that. No, I don't want that. I, I, I'm not doing it, Like.

[Mecca]

Well, I've never been a nonchalant per. Every, Every I've been with has been. Shalom.

[Jamila Bell]

I used to really. Oh, the guy that's just in the corner, he's just so mysterious, and he's just so like that. I want the. I want, I want the.

[Mecca]

Who's jumping. That's how I got caught up with the love bottle, because I need you confessing your love for me.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, Like, I got caught up, and then it's just like. So when I'm talking to a guy now, if you show me any ounce of meanness, that's a. You're done. You cannot be mean.

[Mecca]

We said this during your, during the episode. I don't be running into mean niggas. But I will say I think it's because of what we're talking about in terms of the things that I pull back when I see. And now at this point, you know, it's been five years post breakup. Like, you just do things naturally that I don't even think, think. I even think to, like, if a nigga's mean. I just stopped talking to them. I don't even think to think, like, oh, that was me. And it's just like, oh, I didn't like that.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, I don't tolerate.

[Mecca]

I'm trying to think of, like, I'm also not an arg. Like, contrary to popular belief, I'm not an arguer. I'm loud and I'm boisterous, and I'm very direct with the things that I like that I don't like. But I feel like, because I am that way and I'm that way so early on, because the other thing I've learned and playing nonchalant with the niggas. And this is advice, advice for you getting back into the dating game. Whoever you are in your relationship, that's who you need to show up as day one. A lot of times girls want to. He didn't. He took 10 minutes to text me back, so I'm gonna take 20. He took an hour. I'm taking two hours. No. If I'm looking at my phone, I am sporadic. That's who I am. And you're going to. To the same point. The niggas are acting. You're acting. So what's going to happen is, is he's gonna get used to you being this nonchalant. I don't care. And then he's gonna think that's you, and then he's gonna do stuff, and it's gonna be pissing you off. And in that respect, that wouldn't be his fault, because that's who he thinks you are.

[Jamila Bell]

And that's why I. That's why I said I show up as myself. And you're just gonna have to take it or leave it.

[Mecca]

Yeah. You're gonna have, like, I'm insane, babe. I'm not the cool girl.

[Jamila Bell]

Right. I did not like it. I have to sit up here and, like, try to calculate the time that I need to text you back. I'm gonna text you back when I want to because I saw your message. Like, I. I'm. I'm not doing that. Like, I don't care if it seems like I'm thirsty, because I text back fast. I don't. My phone's always my hand. I really don't give a.

[Mecca]

Like, you're gonna even say no. Like, at this point, like, if a said, oh, you text me back too fast. You're thirsty. I'd be. Are you 17? What the.

[Jamila Bell]

I just would never. I don't. I don't think that far through. Like, I'm gonna text when I want to text. If I feel like calling you, I'm just gonna call you. I don't feel no shame about it.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

Like, I. I just. I'm going.

[Mecca]

I'm definitely. I'm. I'm a voice note person, Dan. Like, girl, when I say, just when you start dating again, girl, first of all, I would recommend. And I assume Jamila does too. You don't have. Like, obviously don't introduce these men you're dating to your children. That's like, don't do that.

[Jamila Bell]

I would never.

[Mecca]

I think, actually, I don't know if.

[Jamila Bell]

You'Re like, I'm, like, super against it. Unless you're.

[Mecca]

Unless you're locked in.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes. Now there's. Now Noah has come across, which is different. And that's a Whole different thing versus being introduced and into dated in the native in the nated, whatever the fuck into my life. That's not happening unless you are my man. As in boyfriend, girlfriend.

[Mecca]

Little moms has came across. And the way she came across was part of the reason I stopped talking to him. Because I was getting ready and like barging in my room and I was showing him my outfit and he was just. He was like, you know, stoic man. He didn't give me enough energy. And she felt like he didn't give me enough energy. So when I got off the phone. Well, honestly, not even when I got off the phone, he was still on the phone. She had said out loud, oh my God, you look cute. Why didn't he tell you looked cute? And she said it. So ate that. And he could hear her. And he was like, oh, no, you look like. Obviously he straightened up real quick. But I was like, that's. You know, I could tell you been around me because you got that nigga saying, yes, no, you look super cute. I don't know what he's talking about. I don't know why he just looked at you, but like, come across. That's what I'm saying. I wouldn't hide it. Also, I don't know if you're like this. I would not date one. I did not tell folks about her simply because. Say that again. I didn't. Like, I wasn't the person who was like, so my cousin lives with me. She's 13, I'm taking care of her. First date. Like, I just met you. I don't even know if I'm gonna talk to you tomorrow. That doesn't seem like information that you need right now.

[Jamila Bell]

Maybe just cause that situation's different because it's a whole thing.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

But for me, it's like. Like, it's just not a. It's just my. It's just my son and he lives with me. He's always living me. It's like this. This is actually a thing that you need to know. Because if you don't want to date somebody with kids. And it's like.

[Mecca]

But so the actual thing is, I noticed having little moms, you know how boys use dogs to pick up girls. It was like, obviously I had a kid, so I did have the experience of like, she's always with me. We're always in the, like, she's literally always like, same, except same concept. She's here, she's always around. But I would be like, I'm taking care of my cousin and it would be like, oh, my God, you're such a good person. I'd be like, I am. Oh, my God. Thanks.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes, that's me.

[Mecca]

But even if I had kids and I was a single mom in my. I just. I don't talk too much about my. My person. Like, I'm definitely the person on the first date who baits men into just talking the whole time.

[Jamila Bell]

Do you ask them if they have kids?

[Mecca]

Never say never. The older you get, it's like, more people have kids. I know staunchly when I was younger, I didn't want to date anyone with kids. Now I, Like, I messed with Unk. He had a teenage.

[Jamila Bell]

I don't want to date people with kids.

[Mecca]

No, I get it. But it's like, as you start running into people, people start. No, I'm saying people start having kids.

[Jamila Bell]

Be so mad that I say that knowing I have a kid.

[Mecca]

Maybe you just want to be the first. His first baby mama, and I just.

[Jamila Bell]

I don't.

[Mecca]

So that was the thing. I'm not mad at the preference difference. I'm a little bit more malleable and open to it now.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Still would rather not.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, I would rather not.

[Mecca]

I would rather not. But if I met someone I liked, you have a kid, like, I could see myself. I mean, I did it. He had a teenager, so it was like, okay, cool. But that's not information that I felt I needed on the first date from you or me, because I feel like I just kind of want to get a feel for you now. What I did notice, like, you. A lot of people do mention it, like, because it's like. Especially if, like, you're involved in your kids.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, I try to do it. If it, like, just kind of comes up in conversation, like, I mention it casually because it's. Because I do that normally for men.

[Mecca]

Though, you know, because if a man mentions his child, it's like, it's not even really an indicator, but it's like, I have a kid. I know about my kid. I feel like when don't mention their children on the first date, it's. Are you that involved all.

[Jamila Bell]

They're not.

[Mecca]

They're not. Like, I. Like, that was. And that's what I was gonna say before we had to pause, but, like, actually, I would just sit there and let. Like, when I go on first dates, I just. I kind of like, oh, so what about you?

[Jamila Bell]

What about.

[Mecca]

Like, I don't even really do me.

[Jamila Bell]

Like, you know, I'm a talker, but.

[Mecca]

No, I get it.

[Jamila Bell]

But I just.

[Mecca]

To Mama's point about abuse and different stuff.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mecca]

I really like to take those first. That first date to even figure out, am I gonna talk to you tonight? Like, am I gonna tell you? Like, is this gonna something that I want to move forward with? And I feel like when you let people just talk, you learn so much naturally because they'll just. People want to fill the void. So just start saying things about like, you can tell, like will start talking about their politics, their kid. Like all this stuff that you'd be.

[Jamila Bell]

So shocked that the things that people don't ask about. And it's like, I. All these things I truly care about. But I know, honestly, most of the guys that I've talked to and dated post having a child have known that I had a child beforehand also. So it wasn't also something that I had to like break the news to in a sense because they either knew me from Instagram or something like that or just in real life. And so it was like, it wasn't anything. Now, the guys that I met, like when I was on the dating apps, you there. Or whatever, but I also had it on my profile because again, like, probably.

[Mecca]

Had that you were.

[Jamila Bell]

I. Again, like, I. If I'm going to take you seriously ever, I would like to know that in the first conversation. Otherwise this is pointless. Because what if I really like your personality? I'm not going to try to.

[Mecca]

Well, like I said, I do feel like it's different for women because it's harder for women not to take care of their kids.

[Jamila Bell]

Right.

[Mecca]

Like with men, it's easy for a man to be a father and not be present and be active and much easier for you to get to know a man in three dates and just now be finding out.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. So again, I take those things consideration too, because there was a guy that I was dating with a kid, and I very quickly noticed that he was not as involved in his kid's life as he made it seem. And I don't like that. I would have never taken him seriously like that. Plus other things that started. But I was still having fun with him, so I was still having fun with him. So I. But I knew that I wasn't going to take him seriously.

[Mecca]

Yeah. No. Why would I have a baby with you? Because I was like, shout out to Sacramento Facebook, why are you having babies? And you've seen a. And he has kids and he's not active. And now you're acting shocked on Facebook that he's not active in your child's life. You had the blueprint, you know.

[Jamila Bell]

And why, as a single father, do you have a one bedroom apartment? And don't say it's to save money. I've seen your wardrobe.

[Mecca]

Final thought, just, I wouldn't see to say, dip your toe in. Just jump straight back in there.

[Jamila Bell]

Just turn in and have some fun. Don't, because it's gonna. You're gonna be new in dating. Don't seek out anything. Don't have any expectations. Keep those expectations low, those standards high. That's the formula. And just have fun. Go on many and plenty of dates so that you can just get back in the swing of things. Because when you haven't been dating for a long time and you get back in it, it's gonna be awkward. Especially now because you have kids. It's a. You're kind of like, it's gonna be awkward. So just start doing it. Start going on all the dates and having fun, listening to yourself and figure out what you like, because what you thought you may have liked, you probably don't. And do that. And. And girl, you'll be all right.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I think that you should do everything Jamila said. And if you see something you don't like, dead it. And you won't care because you'll have 17 on the roster.

[Jamila Bell]

Exactly. When in doubt, get another.

[Mecca]

Yeah, we're gonna take a break. And we're back. All right.

[Jamila Bell]

Y'all finna read some of Yalls comments that y'all have been leaving on our very various platforms. We really love reading Yalls reviews and Yalls comments because it lets us know you know what y'all are feeling. Are y'all liking the podcast? Y'all not liking it? Give us some feedback. We want to make sure that y'all are always tapped in. But it seems that y'all really like us. I don't know. All right, so these are from Apple, from Allison, Rnality. Whatever. Ladies. The way I've been needing a new podcast these days. I'm so grateful that you two are doing this. Looking forward to more. Thank you so much. This is from Lie A99, y'all. I love this podcast. I look forward to it. Every Thursday I be cackling. But if we have some updates, can we have a. Can we have that plus suspended? Maybe have an update after the spin it. I was itching for a longer pod. Love from Barbados. Okay. From Barbados.

[Mecca]

Barbados.

[Jamila Bell]

Today, sister.

[Mecca]

I'm reading from the Spotify and Disgrace said. Love everything y'all are doing with the podcast. I love the positivity and the honesty. Keep it up. Thank you. Acrylic 54 said, that really is it. Everyone is lacking empathy in an effort to be right. No one is listening and that means nothing will get done. And I agree. We need to drop labels. Exactly. Lala said, look, I remember the Tyson vs. Holyfield fight. It was wild. I was 14 and saw it in real time on TV. TV. So you saw that man bite that man's ear off.

[Jamila Bell]

That's crazy. How old are you?

[Mecca]

She's 14.

[Jamila Bell]

How old is she now?

[Mecca]

We'll do the math. When was the Holyfield fight?

[Jamila Bell]

I don't know.

[Mecca]

I don't know what year it happened. Probably in the 90s. Probably in her almost 40s. Indy said yes to the ads. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. We got. We got ads on Spotify now.

[Jamila Bell]

Okay?

[Mecca]

Period. Alicia said, I heard an ad and actually got excited. I know that's right. That means we're making money. You're not excited.

[Jamila Bell]

Okay. I'm so confused.

[Mecca]

Money. Yay.

[Jamila Bell]

Period. We can pay.

[Mecca]

Melissa Vanny 2525 said, hey, y'all got ads. Get it. Love y'all the way.

[Jamila Bell]

I know everything. I love that because I didn't know any until just now.

[Mecca]

You're both freaking hilarious. And also very insightful. Keep it up. And Kayla Morgan said, jamila, I feel you on the bald head face meat conundrum. I recently shaved my head and now I got to figure out how to lose 85.

[Jamila Bell]

85 face pounds by next Wednesday.

[Mecca]

Y'all are silly.

[Jamila Bell]

It was the 85 face pound.

[Mecca]

I'm gonna steal that. Kayla, that is hella funny.

[Jamila Bell]

All right. These are from YouTube at Mal said. I love how YouTube puts unhinged anymore at the top of my feet on Thursdays. They already know exactly. Exactly at Master Shar says lmao. It looks better this time. Thanks for the shout out, boo. I feel like I'm in trouble. By the teacher.

[Mecca]

Oh, that was who I said it looked like I was on FaceTime.

[Jamila Bell]

Brian and Jakaya C. Bell cousin woke up cause my stomach was bubbling and now. And now I'm up watching it. Cracking the up at Anime Chicket. This episode wasn't long enough. Love y'all.

[Mecca]

Y'all be on our ass under an hour last.

[Jamila Bell]

I love y'all. Y'all are so funny. Ed pooch LXO I survived Girl Scout Camp 2 Mecca shout out to Camp Menzies XCC4175 born in Atlanta and raised in Cobb County, I have never been to Lakeland. Never will I'm crying. It'd be like that, though. It. Very well, darling. Lake Laniera is Oscarville a thriving black community. Central park was also black. Neighborhood clock it. Yes, Oscarville. I forgot about the name. Thank you for that. At Kira Morris esset3838. Speaking of boxing and brain damage, there was this famous WWE fighter who killed his wife and son. Oh, I remember that. What was his name?

[Mecca]

Chris something. It was. It was that white man. Because, you know, I'm a WWE head. Back in the day, I was. I definitely know what you're talking about.

[Jamila Bell]

After they did the autopsy and on his brain, they. They saw how severely, severely damaged it was. Yes. I remember when that happened.

[Mecca]

And also the football. Yes. Chris. I was like, I knew it was Chris something. And then also the. Was it. It's not. Troy, one of the Polynesian football players committed unalived himself.

[Jamila Bell]

Oh, shit.

[Mecca]

And they did his brain, too.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, you know that one. What's crazy is, is it was a. It was a black football player. He was talking. Was crazy. He was talking about cte, saying it wasn't real. And then he started to develop symptoms, and he was like, I. I'm tripping. Shot himself in the heart and said, examine my brain. I forgot his name, though.

[Mecca]

I don't know his name. I never heard that word.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah, he shot himself in the. In the chest and was like. And told them, examine my. Look at this. It got to be something wrong with me. That CTE is shaking. It's shaking baby syndrome for. From. For adults.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

Just shaking that brain up. That brain is sensitive. You can't be getting that head knocked like that. You got to protect that head because your brain is jello. And did y'all know that your brain cells, once they're dead, they're dead. They don't regenerate.

[Mecca]

Yeah, y'all are dying. No, no. That's why the lacking of the empathy and people becoming psychopaths was real.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

They said Aaron Hernandez possibly had it as well. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

That documentary was good.

[Mecca]

They posted a picture of his daughter yesterday. She's about in middle school now. Very pretty girl. She looks just like her mama.

[Jamila Bell]

Damn.

[Mecca]

One of his teammates is, like, hanging out, like, what's his name? With Kobe's documents.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. His documentary was really. I gained a lot of empathy for him.

[Mecca]

No, I. Did you really.

[Jamila Bell]

It's like, oh, man, it sucks when you see people do bad things, but you get the information on how they got there. It's like, this is just a sad Situation from top to bottom.

[Mecca]

It doesn't change what you did.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. But it's like, it's a damn what.

[Mecca]

Was done to you as well.

[Jamila Bell]

Yeah. And it's like, damn your head. You was really up in the head.

[Mecca]

You're also a victim.

[Jamila Bell]

You're a victim.

[Mecca]

Wasn't he abused her? Something along those lines. Yeah. Well, this was a sad note to end on.

[Jamila Bell]

Don't let your babies play boxing, football or do meth to tie it back to the beginning of episode.

[Mecca]

Or heron.

[Jamila Bell]

Or that heron. Well, thank you guys so much for another amazing episode. Oh, let's give some announcements for the things that we're doing coming up.

[Mecca]

Okay. So, yeah, I was gonna say first of all, we're at an hour and 31, so no complaints on the time. But we did want to talk about what do you want to say first?

[Jamila Bell]

So I was gonna say first things first. By the time this drops, we will be on our way to Mobile. You. You're coming Friday, though, right?

[Mecca]

I'm coming Friday because I will be at the rodeo cook off on Thursday.

[Jamila Bell]

So we'll be in Mobile this weekend for Mardi Gras. Happy Mardi Gras, y'all. Mardi Gras.

[Mecca]

Mardi Gras nails. And then Mardi Gras in Mobile.

[Jamila Bell]

A song that is.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I. I put. I made a sound.

[Jamila Bell]

Oh, we're gonna have to.

[Mecca]

It's like an actual song.

[Jamila Bell]

I'm gonna have to do a little tik tok to that.

[Mecca]

Also, don't forget to subscribe to our Patreon.

[Jamila Bell]

Subscribe to the Patreon free USD. Yes.

[Mecca]

In our. In our. Both of our link trees are in the link tree for the main pages.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

And also when we get back from.

[Jamila Bell]

Mardi Gras, we are going to be going to Dallas for meet and greet. For meet and greet. We have something else. No, it's a fashion show.

[Mecca]

The fashion show.

[Jamila Bell]

The Desiree fashion show.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila Bell]

And then some meet and greet stuff. We'll just keep following us for all the details for that and then we'll be in Austin for a panel. We're working.

[Mecca]

We're working. We're on the Matthew Knowles plan. We are shout out to the. She's got us on the ground floor. She said y'all will be in the Fiesta parking lot. Yes.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes. We will be hosting her country back in Dallas. Back in Dallas.

[Mecca]

April, we got some stuff. We're not going to say that yet, but April, we've got some stuff.

[Jamila Bell]

We've got some cool stuff.

[Mecca]

We're also working on merch. We got our mock ups for merch.

[Jamila Bell]

And y'all are going to love them.

[Mecca]

Yeah, that's really cute. Even flex is a part of the merch.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

That's so crazy.

[Jamila Bell]

We have our fingers tapped in. We're actually having a meeting today for our live show. We don't have a date yet, but we do have. We are really juicy things.

[Mecca]

Yeah, a lot of juicy things.

[Jamila Bell]

What else?

[Mecca]

Not to get too churchy. God is good.

[Jamila Bell]

Yes.

[Mecca]

We are working.

[Jamila Bell]

We are working.

[Mecca]

We're working.

[Jamila Bell]

We're working.

[Mecca]

They try to bury us but can no man stop or woman. What God has for your life, he will make a table for you in front of your enemies.

[Jamila Bell]

Amen.

[Mecca]

Amen.

[Jamila Bell]

Amen.

[Mecca]

Amen.

[Jamila Bell]

See you guys next week. Unhinged and Immoral is hosted by Jamila Bell and Mecca, produced by Melissa D?

[Mecca]

Mont and Diamond Imprint Productions, post production by Coco Lawrence, production assistant by Melanie.

[Jamila Bell]

D. Watson, music by Adi and Brooklyn Billionaires and graphics by Claudia Choi.