Valentine's Day

Summary

Unhinged & Immoral – Valentine's Day Episode Summary

Release Date: February 13, 2025
Hosts: Jamila Bell and Mecca Evans
Production: Diamond MPrint Productions

---

Introduction: Embracing Black History and Personal Representation (00:51 - 01:19)

The episode begins with Jamila and Mecca celebrating Black History Month, highlighting its significance beyond just a month-long observance. Mecca shares a personal anecdote about wearing her HBCU-inspired hat for the first time, symbolizing her connection to Black heritage and culture.

• Mecca [00:51]: "I'm deep in my millennial bag with my HBCUish hat. I've never worn this. So I was like, this is the perfect opportunity to wear this and represent."

Valentine's Day Preparations: Career Over Romance (01:21 - 04:04)

As Valentine's Day approaches, the duo discusses their plans, shifting focus from romantic engagements to professional milestones. Jamila reveals her excitement about conducting her first interview with artist Akeem Ali, also known as Kimi Casanova. Mecca expresses admiration for Kimi, highlighting his talent and charm.

• Jamila [01:32]: "I don't foresee me having plans for Valentine's Day, but career-wise, I will be doing something super cool."
• Mecca [02:10]: "I love Kimi Casanova. Dropped."

Deep Dive into Dating and Relationships (04:04 - 74:35)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring modern dating dynamics, personal boundaries, and the importance of self-respect in relationships.

1. Authenticity and Shyness:

   • Jamila discusses her struggle with shyness and social anxiety, making it difficult for her to approach men. She emphasizes the importance of being genuine without feeling pressured to alter her behavior for romantic interests.
   • Jamila [05:24]: "I've done it before. I've done it recently."

2. Independence vs. Codependency:

   • Both hosts stress maintaining independence in relationships. Jamila asserts that her career is non-negotiable and refuses to let any partner interfere with her professional aspirations.
   • Jamila [25:10]: "I will never let a nigga get in between me and my career. This means everything to me."
   • Mecca echoes this sentiment, emphasizing that a partner should add value to her life rather than hinder it.
   • Mecca [27:59]: "I don't need a man if he's not adding anything."

3. Love Languages and Communication:

   • The hosts explore different love languages, with Jamila focusing on words of affirmation and Mecca leaning towards acts of service. They discuss how these preferences shape their interactions and expectations in relationships.
   • Jamila [74:49]: "I need to hear those things for validation."

4. Setting Non-Negotiables:

   • Both women articulate their non-negotiable traits in potential partners, such as flexibility, reliability, and the ability to support each other's goals.
   • Jamila [30:35]: "Do not be approaching you."
   • Mecca [30:38]: "You gotta be secure."

5. Recognizing Red Flags:

   • The conversation delves into identifying early warning signs in relationships, advocating for the importance of not compromising personal boundaries even in the face of potential romantic interest.
   • Mecca [22:44]: "Marriage is about compromise. But I also think it's important not to compromise yourself."

"Spin It" Segment: Navigating Complex Friendships (74:41 - 96:57)

In this interactive segment, listeners submit their relationship dilemmas for the hosts to dissect and provide advice.

• Listener Scenario:

  • A listener describes a situation involving two friends, Brianna (12-year friendship) and Katherine (6-year friendship), who are both connected through a group chat. Brianna invites Jamila to meet Katherine’s separating partner, who is also Brianna's ex-boyfriend. This creates tension as Brianna pretends not to recognize him to Jamila.

• Hosts' Advice:

  • Mecca [76:48]: "Brianna's out of pocket. But I do understand Brianna being like, that's not my friend."
  • Jamila [78:43]: "You are your friend."

  The hosts recommend confronting Brianna directly within the group chat to maintain transparency and uphold personal boundaries. They emphasize the importance of prioritizing friendships and avoiding entanglement in morally ambiguous situations.

Listener Comments: Engaging with the Audience (96:41 - 106:57)

Jamila and Mecca take time to read and respond to various listener comments, showcasing the community's engagement and diverse perspectives.

• Positive Feedback:

  • Listener (Morgan) [97:14]: "Absolutely love the podcast, which is no surprise because you ladies are two of my favorite creators on TikTok."

• Critical Insights:

  • Comments touch on topics like religion, Target boycotts, and social activism. The hosts respond with their characteristic candor, addressing misconceptions and reinforcing their viewpoints.
  • Mecca [100:54]: "Not interested. Baby."
  • Jamila [100:58]: "You gotta what."

Conclusion: Continuing the Conversation (106:57 - End)

The episode wraps up with the hosts encouraging listeners to engage with them through comments and subscriptions. They promote their Patreon for exclusive content and express gratitude for their supportive community.

• Mecca [105:37]: "Shout out to everyone who has subscribed to the Patreon in the last month since we started it. You guys are so lit."
• Jamila [105:59]: "Thank you guys so much for another episode, and we'll see you next time."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Jamila [05:32]: "I don't have pickup lines, and that's the issue. I don't know what to say."
• Mecca [06:08]: "I just know that I'm a bad bitch."
• Jamila [25:10]: "I will never let a nigga get in between me and my career."
• Mecca [27:59]: "I don't need a man if he's not adding anything."
• Jamila [49:50]: "...sometimes you have to practice leaving them alone when they do something that's an actual red flag."
• Mecca [74:14]: "Dating is weird, though."
• Mecca [22:44]: "Marriage is about compromise. But I also think it's important not to compromise yourself."

---

Episode Highlights:

1. Empowerment Through Independence: Both hosts emphasize the importance of maintaining personal goals and independence within relationships, rejecting the notion of codependency.

2. Authentic Communication: The discussion underscores the value of genuine communication and understanding individual love languages to foster healthy relationships.

3. Navigating Friendships and Romantic Entanglements: In the "Spin It" segment, the hosts provide pragmatic advice on handling complex friendship dynamics, advocating for honesty and boundary-setting.

4. Community Engagement: The audience interaction segment showcases the hosts’ ability to connect with listeners, addressing real-life issues with humor and straightforwardness.

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Final Thoughts:

Jamila and Mecca deliver a candid and insightful episode that navigates the intricacies of modern relationships, personal boundaries, and the balance between career and romance. Their unfiltered approach provides listeners with relatability, humor, and practical advice, making "Unhinged & Immoral" a go-to podcast for those seeking honest conversations about pop culture and personal experiences.

Transcript

[Mecca]

Live from Radio City Music hall, it's the SNL50 homecoming concert. Featuring performances by Arcade Fire, the B52, Backstreet Boys, Bad Bunny, Bonnie Raitt, Brittany Howard, Brandi Carlisle, Chris Martin, Dave Grohl, David Byrne, Devo, Eddie Vedder, Jack White, Jelly Roll, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Mumford and Sons, Post Malone, the Roots, and more. Celebrating 50 years of SNL music. February 14th at 8pm Eastern. Catch it live on Peacock.

[Jamila]

She flowing in that ca. Walk in the booth like Naomi on the cat bar and tell them woo woo from the Jaguar it ain't even right though Push me and I might go she ain't getting money I'm like, what the the hype for when them bitches bite flow make my appetite go poof Gone Voila. Magic looking mad good just to pull up on them Ramping.

[Mecca]

Welcome back to another episode of Unhinged and Immoral. I am Mecca and I am Jamila. It's another another day in Black History Month. Even though every day is Black History Month, I'm deep in my millennial bag with my hbcuish hat. I've never worn this. So I was like, this is like. It was a gift. So I'm like, okay, this is the perfect opportunity to wear this and represent.

[Jamila]

Rep your set.

[Mecca]

Rep your set.

[Jamila]

Period.

[Mecca]

This episode will be dropping the day before Valentine's Day, which is so fun. Do you have a Valentine, Jameela? Do you think you'll have any prospects?

[Jamila]

Probably not.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jamila]

I don't know. Like, I don't foresee me having plans for Valentine's Day, but career wise, I will be doing something super cool for Valentine's Day. Oh, what? I will be actually doing my first interview of a artist by the name. I think I can say it now, because by that time. Yeah, by the time everything pops out, it'll be pretty much there. I will be interviewing Akeem Ali.

[Mecca]

Ooh, Kimi Casanova. I know exactly who that is. He's fine.

[Jamila]

Yes, yes, yes. So that would be super cool.

[Mecca]

Good piece of chocolate to look at.

[Jamila]

He's very good. Lucky. Yeah.

[Mecca]

I love Kimi Casanova. Dropped.

[Jamila]

I love him. So basically, there's this event that goes on in Atlanta all the time called Poetry Out Loud. And one of my friends had. He used to do some performances. I think he still does performances. There's kind of an open mic type shit.

[Mecca]

Okay. Per.

[Jamila]

And so he invited us out. I went and I was like, I love shit like this. If you know, you know, I love live music. I love just. I love shit like that, you know. And so they do Poetry on Peter street is basically when they go, they do their spoken word, their poetry, but they have a full live band behind them. So it's giving very much, much.

[Mecca]

What's it giving? Love Jones?

[Jamila]

No, it's giving very much. Madea's family reunion. He gives me courage. It gives very much that.

[Mecca]

But like you love me from one of my thumbnails. You got me feeling like.

[Jamila]

Feeling like the baby.

[Mecca]

Easy and free and lovely and me.

[Jamila]

Oh, when you touch me oh, man. Yes.

[Mecca]

Touching this mic like it's a dick.

[Jamila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all of that and it's just like, so cool. So basically, they are going to be hosting his live performance. He's going to be playing, he's going to be singing slash rapping. Is he from Atlanta Renaissance Orchestra? I actually don't know where he's from, but he gives me Southern.

[Mecca]

Really?

[Jamila]

I don't know if he's from Atlanta, but he definitely gives me southern. So I'm not quite sure, but I know I can. I can feel the Southern vibe. So that'll be so cool. So he's doing a performance out here with the Renaissance Orchestra.

[Mecca]

Oh, that's cool.

[Jamila]

And I was invited by Poetry on Peter street and I'll be doing the pre and post interview with him.

[Mecca]

That's so exciting. I'm really proud of you, Jamila.

[Jamila]

Thanks, girl. Very exciting. I'm like, yes.

[Mecca]

For me.

[Jamila]

Listen, I'll. I'll talk now. Hello.

[Mecca]

What a beautiful. Check with me on.

[Jamila]

I will chat, you know, I will be professional, but I just know how I look, so. Oh, whoa.

[Mecca]

I just know that I'm a bad bitch. That's just simply chest, you know, what's for information, what you will, you know, and the one thing I will say, since it's Valentine's Day and we're rapping shit, you know, in my previous life, I was low key on the scene. I used to date, like, you know, a couple basketball players, rappers here and there. You know, they're. They're just regular niggas. And if you have the confidence that you can pull a nigga, you can pull a basketball player, you can pull a rapper, you can pull like. Like, I just. That's the one thing that when I was like going to parties, I kind of felt like, ooh, like, what you think I'm cute for? But it's like, well, I'm simply just cute. Like, you know, like, if a nigga is going to pop at you at the gas station, Like a nigga at one of these parties will also pop at you because you're simply just, you're, you're her.

[Jamila]

That's very valuable. One thing about me, though, and everybody knows this, I am not a shot shooter. I've done it before. I've done it recently.

[Mecca]

Really?

[Jamila]

I, I.

[Mecca]

What was your pickup line? I used to shoot my shot a lot. I shot my shot way too close to the sun. I ended up in Baltimore, Maryland.

[Jamila]

Yeah. That's crazy. I mean, I, I don't really have pickup lines. And that's the issue. Like, I don't, I don't know what to say. I actually get. A lot of people just don't realize that I'm just so shy. I'm just a shy girl. I'm just a little.

[Mecca]

That's a fucking lie.

[Jamila]

I am shy.

[Mecca]

Okay? Jameela, Because Jameela the type, all the niggas.

[Jamila]

So this is what, this, nobody believes.

[Mecca]

So this is the thing. When Jamila says she don't have to shoot her shot, all you have to do. Once you make it clear you like Jameela, though, she gonna be. Because I've seen it with my own eyes. We'll be in the club, a nigga will approach, and all of a sudden that's her boyfriend for the night. It'd be like, there's the hella nigga.

[Jamila]

Well, you have to approach, but then.

[Mecca]

You be in love in the club after that, it's like, it's not your man.

[Jamila]

No, it's fun. It's fun. I am a product of the early 2000s club scene where you, you were.

[Mecca]

Not in the club in the early 2000s. You were watching the movies.

[Jamila]

But guess what? I'm taking that back and I'm living out my dreams. I am going to live out my delusion dreams. I don't give a fuck. This is my life. It's fun. And I don't know, I feel like. And this is something that I wish boys would do more often. I'm very much like, if I'm talking to you, if I'm dating you, if I'm spending time with you, if I'm on a day with you, you are going to feel like you're my nigga. Like, I'm going to have a good time, I'm going to play into it. I feel like some men feel this need to, like, try to humble a bitch and be like, let me not do too much. Oh, nice.

[Mecca]

Like, the older we get, like, one thing about me, I'm going to take a Picture maybe we could take professionally. Am I gonna post it? No, but like we like you with my boyfriend right now.

[Jamila]

Hello.

[Mecca]

Let's flirt as we go together.

[Jamila]

I'm very much a flirty individual and it's interesting because it's flirty of an individual as I am. It does not translate when I'm like, out because like I said, I, contrary to what Mecca says, don't believe anything Mecca says. She's an Aries.

[Mecca]

What is. Nigga, you're a Gemini. You're literally a Gemini. Your sign is known for lying.

[Jamila]

No, no, no, no. We don't lie. Well, we don't lie.

[Mecca]

You just lied about not lying.

[Jamila]

I am a truth teller. I am a knower of all. Okay, so anyways, contrary to what Mecca says, I am a shy individual and I don't like to talk to men. I don't like to go up to them. That's just. It makes me feel very, very uncomfortable and very anxious. I don't, I don't like to do that to anybody. Like, I'm not the person who sparks conversation. I'm just not good at that. I have really weird social anxiety. Even though I'm very all. All this and always 10 toes in the water. I have to be comfortable with you in some setting to. To get that. Like if you were to just meet me on the street, you would probably think I was just like really fucking weird and a little like, like, damn, did the bitch have attitude? No, I just am very uncomfortable. So when it comes to guys sexual energy. Oh, I put my pussy on the floor.

[Mecca]

I will put my pussy on the sideburns.

[Jamila]

Like, whoa. Yeah. I just, I'm not like that. I don't go after guys. Like, I just don't. If I see somebody out and I think he's cute, this is as most you'll get out of me.

[Mecca]

But that's a cute little face. They'd be knowing what. They'd be knowing what that means.

[Jamila]

They don't. Niggas don't walk up n. Do not be approaching you.

[Mecca]

So you know what I have found especially I've. And you know how you like hone your skills as you get older? Something do you get this too? You're as, you know, someone who's also outgoing and very loud and very like, people expect for you to be like that around a hoax. And it's like, oh, no, I'm a lady. Like, I'm not going to be over here around a business.

[Jamila]

Like, what are we talking about right now? And I want to agree however, that is also part of. And I have stated this so many times. If I. If I am not consciously aware, okay. Of a fine right in front of me, I. My brain is not on that, and I do kind of reacting a fucking fool. And so, like, there have been so many times where, like, you know, damn, I just finished tin the Dougie. I just finished getting up off the floor, floor doing the worm, and it's a nigga right there. Damn.

[Mecca]

Damn. I was trying to be sexy and mysterious.

[Jamila]

I was literally just battling somebody.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I'm really big. They say that's hypergamy, but I'm really big on, like, no, I'm. I'm a whole different. Like, even still, this is so funny. I was with Darrington, and I was all around niggas, and so he was getting irritated because he was like, nigga, did you change your voice.

[Jamila]

Now you put that soft voice on.

[Mecca]

Oh, yes. I like. And I. I feel like now.

[Jamila]

What's your soft voice, Mecca? Let me hear your.

[Mecca]

Because I was trying to. Trying to do it.

[Jamila]

Like, Jelani also says I have a voice, but I don't know.

[Mecca]

You have a voice. I've heard you on the phone with a. You have a voice as well. That's the thing. Like, most women do have a.

[Jamila]

Like, a voice because you have a very, like, not raspy, but you have, like, a firm tone of your voice. So I want to hear how you talk to niggas. So I'm act like I'm a nigga.

[Mecca]

Okay. I don't even feel like it was going to translate, but I do feel like it definitely softens up. Now this, like, we put Horace on the spot, told him to sound like, trade.

[Jamila]

What'S poppin? What's good with you?

[Mecca]

Hey, what's up? Like, it's still very like, hey, what's up? Hey, Like. Like, it definitely like.

[Jamila]

Like, you know what that reminds me of? That TikTok was like, yo, what's up? The person who sent you this.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I like, what's up with you? Okay, Purr. Like, this is, like. This is the octave that I talk at to men. This is kind of like the tone and the tenor. It's a bit more airy. It's a bit more. It's not as interesting. You know how you said, like, my voice is kind of firm. It's not as firm. It's a bit more relaxed, like, it's yours. It's a. It's a whole different tone. And it's to the point now where, like, even if even if my brother's in the mix, like, I will turn to him, say, talk like this, da, da, da. And oh, but can you help me with this?

[Jamila]

Yeah. You know when you really get your.

[Mecca]

Cali back, you know, especially when I'm talking to Darius and I'm like, it gets real.

[Jamila]

It gets real interesting that you kind of add like a lightness in the area. I feel like I add a little bit more bass to my voice because to me, I feel like my voice is a little bit, like, not whiny, but a little bit nasally. A little high pitched.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

And so for me, I really like when women. Women have deep voices. I think women with raspy voice so freaking sexy. So I feel like I lower my tone. Let me see if I can tap it. Let me think, Let me think. Sexy. Sexy. Okay. Ask me something. Let me get into the character.

[Mecca]

Hey, yo, mom, what's up?

[Jamila]

I simply was unprepared. Okay, let me. Let me get into character. Okay.

[Mecca]

I think you were beautiful.

[Jamila]

Thank you. You're cool, too.

[Mecca]

Thank you. You're cool, too.

[Jamila]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

You got a man?

[Jamila]

No. You got a girl?

[Mecca]

Yeah. Yeah, but, you know, she know we don't have no titles.

[Jamila]

I feel like I just, you know, try to put, like, it's just really soft. Like, I don't know. I just. It's soft, but it's like.

[Mecca]

Okay, so. But you also. But you see how, like your go to is to lower the volume. As a loud lady, you're lowering the volume.

[Jamila]

I'm so demure. Like, it's a very.

[Mecca]

Like, you get a demureness. Like, for sure.

[Jamila]

It's.

[Mecca]

It's.

[Jamila]

I'm just a lady.

[Mecca]

I'm just a girl who you find attractive.

[Jamila]

And I'm trying to put on my voice and just until I get to. Until I get to laughing. But mind you, most niggas aren't funny, so I never give a good hearty laugh anyway. It's usually, ooh, that's low key.

[Mecca]

It just be like.

[Jamila]

That'S. I want to fuck. Laugh like, you're not. Unless I. Yeah.

[Mecca]

I was going to say my real life is quite ugly. People know that.

[Jamila]

You'll know when I'm really laughing, like, it's not been. I'm trying to think of my Rolodex of niggas. It ain't been many niggas that I found funny. To be honest, it's been, you know, maybe three.

[Mecca]

Yeah, maybe. I don't really date funny. I date, like, quieter niggas. You feel me? Who, like, I'M the funny one. So I'm not saying that like, they don't make me laugh, but it's not like, it's not like a daring. Like, how the girls who would date Darrington are like, oh, my God, he's so fucking funny. Like, I don't. I feel like too loud ass for me, motherfuckers. That's obnoxious.

[Jamila]

And that's exactly what I want. Oh, well, that's exactly what I want.

[Mecca]

Because, you know, I do be getting overstimulated with a whole bunch of noise you do. So it's like, I don't think my man could be like that because I'll be like, please. I feel like.

[Jamila]

I feel like Jelani, but as a. As a loud, funny individual, you know that it's like we do so much, so much, so much. And then we're just like doom. It's like nothing. So, like, there's peaks and valleys and stuff. And so I feel like if I date somebody seriously who's similar in that way, it's just making sure our peaks and valleys are aligned. And then I feel like it'll be cool. But I mean, I definitely. When I'm. When I'm interested in a guy, like, humor is really huge for me because on one end, I need you to be funny, but on the other end, which I think is more important is I need you to think that I'm funny.

[Mecca]

But my humor is different.

[Jamila]

My humor is so. Yeah, like, I want to be able to say anything, and I don't want you to be like, wait, what? Oh, never mind.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I don't have the same humor with niggas, honestly. Yeah, like, and I've been told that by. I think what, like, it wasn't necessarily issue. It's not an issue now, but I think since I am so present on, like, social media, it's like people who know me come into the situation kind of knowing, like, oh, she's funny. And then I begin around a nigga and it's like, it's. It's still funny, but, like, my humor around men is way more dry. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, it's a. It's a. It's a dry ass humor. Like, the way that even my voice and da, da, da. Like, and it's not even on purpose. I think you naturally do change, but I'm not. I more so say slick shit. And I do that now. I do that naturally. Like, I'll say something that's off the wall, but I'll say it with a straight face versus like if I'm with my homegirls, I'm saying it we cracking the ah, snapping knees. Like I'll say it with a straight face. And then you know, they're laughing, they're like, are you serious? So it's like even the type of humor I have is kind of different. And I real, I didn't, that wasn't something that I was consciously trying to do because it's like your brain works the same way but obviously like, you know, you get around the opposite sex and sometimes some of us have a natural change in behavior. Like we're talking about the voice and da da da. So it's like your delivery of your jokes is the joke isn't necessarily different, but the delivery is. And that changes the whole vibe of what's going on.

[Jamila]

I can see that for sure.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take a break. Have you ever spotted McDonald's hot crispy fries right as they're being scooped into the carton? And time just stands still.

[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

At Warby Parker, it's all the invisible.

[Jamila]

Extras without the extra cost. Their designer quality frames start at $95 including prescription lenses plus scratch resistant, smudge resistant and anti reflective coatings and UV protection and free adjustments for life.

[Mecca]

To find your next pair of glasses.

[Jamila]

Sunglasses or contact lenses, or to find the Warby Parker store nearest you, head over to warbyparker.com that's warbyparker.com.

[Mecca]

And we're back.

[Jamila]

I guess for me also sometimes I tone it down and up depending on the vibe of the guy. Because I've definitely been around a guy where I feel like you don't seem like you're gonna get my whole thing. So I just dial myself back. Cause I'm like, I just know if I was to be on 10 right now, you would get in your shell and they would recoil. And I don't know if that, you know now like thinking about it out loud is like that sounds crazy. Cause like you should be your full authentic self. And that's why I try not to like not do all of that shit. Whenever guys are around, I still try to just be who I am. Because at the end of the day like if a nigga is going to be with me, you have to understand it. That's like, this is genuinely who I am and that cute shit going where like I can't be like the baddest bitch 24 7. Like, you know what I'm saying? And like a huge part of My personality and, like, who I am is just being a fucking fool and it brings me joy. And so if you can't understand me being a fucking fool and join in or at least be on the sidelines and laugh, and it ain't gonna last. Like, I, I just, I can't overly think about my, my presentation all the time.

[Mecca]

Yeah, shit that you bring that up because. And this is a Valentine's Day esque episode and I just felt like my standpoint on relationships has been changing so much, especially in like the last year. Like, no lie, I. One thing, I think that being in love and being in such a serious relationship in my very, very early twenties, it jaded me. But then on the other end of that, I'm no longer, like, I'm no longer upset or traumatized by it. I'm just on the end of, like, I look at shit very realistically. And the one thing that I know for sure is that one, I don't subscribe to the western ideal that your romantic partner needs to be everything for you. Like, and when I say everything, we're taught that, like, I need to be your confidential. Like, yeah, no, nigga, I have homegirls for that. Like, like, do you say. And so for me, when we're talking about being funny, I don't have to be funny with my nigga the same way I'm funny with my bitches because I have home and, and I prioritize my, my friends as well. Like, I'm not the type of girl to go get a nigga. And all of a sudden, I'm not talking to my friends no more. I don't move like that. I talk to my friends every single day. Like, Jamil. And I like, regardless of when people be like, oh, this seems like a FaceTime yes, because whether we had done this podcast or not, we're going to be on FaceTime once a week at least doing this anyway. So that's why it comes off so authentic. But on the flip, it's like, the older I get, relationships are not the end all be all for me. Like, I definitely, especially being raised so religious, was at a point where like, okay, you have your goals and you want to get married and have a kid and dad. And now it's like, even last year I thought I wanted to be married by 30. We about to be 29 in a month or two. And I'm like, even if, even if I was in a situation, you know what I'm saying? Even if I was in a situation where that was on the table. I don't think I'd want to do it simply because the level of commitment that marriage requires. I'm not there right now. And like, my life is just now starting to shoot up and like all these things that I've quite literally been Savannah.

[Jamila]

Slowed down.

[Mecca]

Yeah, exactly. We're at a point, it's like. And we're at the precipice of it all. Like, we are really seeing the shit that we've been doing for five years, especially with the Internet and just like, damn, we've been working towards this and we're like on the cusp of greatness. No, I'm not going to marry no N and have no N in my face telling me he need to do X, Y and Z right now. Like, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. It's my priority. And so I think that coupled with I don't think my man needs to be anything or not anything, everything for me, it makes me so. Sometimes when I'm talking to other girls, it's like, oh, you don't feel like you'd be funny around your man? It's not even that. It's not even that. It's just like, I could be funny around him in a different way and it doesn't feel taxing. I don't feel like I'm changing myself. I don't feel like. Because we could just sit here and be like. And if I want to cackle into the phone and scream, I could call you. Or I can call Sabrina or I could call someone else. I've gotten very good at compartmentalizing and I think that everyone needs to get good at it because trying to put all your eggs into one person is the best.

[Jamila]

That's always going to lead to something going wrong in one way or another. Like, it's definitely important to have pockets of people. You got to have people in that pocket where they belong. And it's not a bad thing. Like, it's. It's super important. But I feel like, you know, the way I view relationships and things. I know the things that I want and the things that are like non negotiable for me. And because I have a lot of like weird not requests, but like, just things about me, it makes me view marriage in a way that's like, I don't know if I am going to get there.

[Mecca]

No, that's the one. I think that's what I'm trying to say.

[Jamila]

No, I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna not bending on.

[Mecca]

Yeah. Marriage is about compromise. But I also think it's important not to compromise yourself and Right.

[Jamila]

It's like, yeah, but no, we've been.

[Mecca]

Taught so especially as black women that, you know, we're just. Our whole lives been fed. Struggle of love Jones love and basketball, those aren't. I don't want what them bitches had with them niggas. That shit sucks. Even if you like the movie, that shit sucked. You know, like all of these movies that are like, shape our perception of love. And then you can even just look at your. You know, if you look at your parents and da, da, da. Like, if you have those examples. I just. I am definitely at the point I would like to be married, but if it doesn't happen, I will be a thousand percent okay with that.

[Jamila]

Yeah. And I'm super independent. Like.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

Super, super independent. And not that, like, you can't be independent while being married. You absolutely can, and I encourage you to be. It's just different because you have to, like, consider that person with all of your decisions. And it's. That could. If you guys are not equally yoked, that could be the thing that breaks y'all. Because it's like, I don't want to consider you with everything, but it's like you kind of have to.

[Mecca]

Yeah. Like, the older you get, it don't. Like, people always assume it's like infidelity. And it's like, no, when you have really lock in with someone, it could be a lot of shit. Because that's. Because that's essentially what I'm saying. Things are going so well for us that I'm not even interested in considering to consider a nigga. I'm not gonna do it. You know, Like, I don't want to consider it. Like, if it's between this and going somewhere. If it's between this and something we have to do, it's between you. Like, I need to. Like, I want to be transparent. I'm going to choose this because this is what I've been working for for my whole twenties.

[Jamila]

Hello.

[Mecca]

This is myself up for this.

[Jamila]

I would. One thing I will never do and have never done, no matter how down bad I was in a relationship or out, I will never let a nigga get in between me and my career. This means everything to me. Like, the shit that I want to do with my career has been in writing, have been in vision since I was a little, little girl. You. If you think you finna get in between me and that stage, nigga, fuck you. I Am not. Hell no. And, like, I don't understand how sometimes the women who date bum ass niggas allow them to be pulled down in that way. Get Link that nigga.

[Mecca]

Well, you know, some people have, like, big issues on codependency. And that's why, honestly, whenever we have con. And I know this is like, oh, this is a Valentine's Day episode buzzkill, but since we're talking about. Sorry. I think it's really important, especially I know how many, like, listeners that we have who are younger than us, and we, you know, you end up having a child. I didn't have a child, but damn near, like, you know, like, getting. Sometimes you leave without a baby, and sometimes you leave with a baby, but nonetheless, those situations you need to get up out of, and they're so hard to get up out of. Especially when you wrap up in the nigga and learning how to navigate relationships. Like, some of this shit is a canon event. You have to fuck around and get your feelings hurt to get to the point that we're at saying, like, yo, Lucious, I'm going to put me first. Like, that's just first and foremost.

[Jamila]

It teaches you so many lessons. Like, and I don't know, the more you learn about yourself, the more fun dating is. Because dating used to be a fucking drag to me. Like, I don't want to.

[Mecca]

I just want to.

[Jamila]

I know your favorite color. But now I don't even feel, like, this pressure to do any of that. Like, we don't. There is no fucking rulebook to dating. Like, if you like a guy and they like you, talk to that boy. Have a good time. Should we go on a date?

[Mecca]

Have sex? Yeah, I think whoever you're with. But then on the flip, relationships do, like, require compromise. And so. But you have to. Okay, well, we gotta be a little bit positive. We can't be fuck niggas. Like, they. But you have to be clear on what you're not willing to compromise on. I think that's the. And the problem with being ugh. And I literally just. I literally just said this last night to someone. I am not the same person you were when you met me. Even seven, eight, nine months ago. The things that I.

[Jamila]

Seven hours ago.

[Mecca]

The things that I realized that I want now is not necessarily what I wanted when I met you. And I'm not trying to play with you or anything like that, but I am evolving. And I'm evolving in a way. Like, you know, FINN, to be 29, going into 30, like, my priorities, and even looking at like, okay, little moms was living with me then. Now she's not. I don't even feel the need. Like, before she came to live with me, it's like, oh, I need to have a baby. Oh, like, get a man, have a baby. I already had that experience. Like, I had an instant noodle, like top ramen baby handed to me. So I've experienced that. Now I'm like, I'm really not pressed. Like, I'm not pressed to experience that. And so where my priorities lie and where I see myself in five years is not where I saw myself in five years this time last year. So I think the thing.

[Jamila]

So what are your non compromises for right now? You're not, I feel like things. Are you not compromising on.

[Mecca]

I don't need a man if he's not adding anything. And I hate like. And I don't even mean just like materialism. I do mean material. I don't want to. I do mean material.

[Jamila]

I do mean material.

[Mecca]

And you can call me a gold digger if you want to, but I'll take. But the thing is, I take care of myself. Like, I pay all my bills independently. I also help my parents. Like, I'm doing very well solo dolo, so I can't. Our listener letter last week. I can't imagine living with a nigga and he not adding nothing. Nothing. Bitch, what you here for? Cause I could do this by myself. So that's number one. But number two, are you making my life easier? Like, right now I have flex and so it's like, can you help me dog sit or can you go check on my house? Or like, we're at the point where, like, traveling. We're trying to plan a live show. We're doing X, Y and Z. We're going to Mardi Gras. Like, I need someone around me right now who's going to be like, supportive all around. And maybe. And I'm willing, you know, to also be supportive in the ways that you require me to. But I'm also okay with being like, maybe I can't be supportive in that way to you right now. Is that a non negotiable for you? And if it is, I'm okay with us not talking anymore.

[Jamila]

I'm cool with that.

[Mecca]

And I feel like that's the difference between Mecca at almost 29 and Mecca at 24. Because if that was a non negotiable, I'd be so scared to like, lose a nigga. Like, you know, when you're wrapped up with niggas, it's so scared to lose. Your nigga could never be scared of losing that power. Listen, you can. That's the one thing you learn. You can never be scared to let people go, let people walk away. And it don't have to be no hard feelings. It could just simply be like, listen, this. I don't wanna. I don't wanna make you compromise yourself. And I'm for damn sure not compromising me. So there's no. If one of us is going to have to be compromised in this situation. This doesn't need to be a situation. And that. And I'm not saying that because fuck you, but I'm saying that because I care. I don't want you to resent me. Cause I'm over here doing. And I don't want shit like that throwing it back in my face, you know? Like, it's just. It's a lot of moving parts. So you just have to be very clear on your boundaries. But again, willing to compromise on things that might not be such a big deal, you know? Okay, T, what about you?

[Jamila]

So I feel like present day, some of my non negotiables are you must be flexible in every sense of the word. Because my schedule is. It's not fixed. It's not a fixed schedule. It is very kind of touch and go shit has been busy around these parts. And I need you to be flexible with that. You know what I'm saying? But I also need you to be ready to go. Because the moment I have free time.

[Mecca]

You like, where's my nigga?

[Jamila]

You gotta be ready, like, so I don't know, maybe a nigga gotta have a fix. I'm being a little funny, but like, no, like, you know, at some point we gotta.

[Mecca]

We gotta link up.

[Jamila]

So it's like I need my back.

[Mecca]

Beating at some point in time. I'm just saying I'm not available every night, per se.

[Jamila]

Like, I need you to be secure.

[Mecca]

And.

[Jamila]

And that security is super, super important. Because one thing I will never entertain again is an insecure ass nigga. I cannot deal with that. Please check that shit at the motherfucking door. Like, especially considering I'm so heavily online now, I know that that breeds a certain thing. I remember I was loosely talking to this guy several months ago, and he just was a little fucking crazy. Like, to the point where I was like, okay, nigga, this ain't gonna. You're crazy. And. And I basically like, just kind of ghosted him because I was like, you're doing too much. Do y'all Know that this nigga, when he finally hit me back and was just like, ugh. I'm just like, you're doing too much. This nigga said, I bet you're gonna tell your TikTok all about this.

[Mecca]

Yes, I am. I said, nigga, I'm gonna tell them you're weird.

[Jamila]

You would not even that. I said, what makes you think you would ever get a spotlight? Like, I don't talk about none of my niggas on here. What makes you think you the one that's gonna get talked about? We ain't even link up. For real, what is you talking about? Like, and it was just that sentence alone was such an ick. Like, yeah, what? Like, I get icked out real easily. I don't like. No. I don't know. So many things get ick. And I don't like boys who have icky th. Icky traits.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I feel like I itch myself to the max. Um, and that's the other thing I've noticed. I put up with so much. I mean, I know you can relate to this, Jamila. I put up with so much in my last relationship that I had. I've been. Now, that's another thing I've been working on in the past year. I've been working on finding a happy medium. Like, in terms of. Well, he sneezed wrong. You can't. You can't say, fuck him because he sneezed or breathed weird. That's a little bit. You know what I'm saying? Like. But I was absolutely at a point where I was like, I put up with so much shit and so much bullshit that coming out of that, I said, I'm not putting up with nothing. And I didn't. Like, I would. I would leave niggas alone. And the one thing about. I feel like women, you gotta practice, like, go through a phase where you practice just for any little thing. Like, just leave him alone. Because then it gets very easy to leave them alone when they do something that is, like, an actual red flag. Like, I. It's a muscle that I exercised. And I. I feel like we're taught that ride or die. Like, you're supposed to thug it. You're supposed to work through things. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I'm not anything with you, but no, absolutely not. So, like, I. I exercise. That must. Like, I exercise it to the max. Like, leaving niggas alone when they would, like, breed weird. But now I'm at the point where I don't regret it, because when I see, like, legitimate red Flags. And I'm like, that's a chat. That's a characteristic. And, and they're valid. Like I know I, it's important for me to be able to rely on it. Again, like I said that. So when you show traits of like and reliability is. And also do not tell me you're gonna do something and then do not do it. That is the quickest way for you to nip, bitch. When I say I be right there. Right there. I don't fuck with that.

[Jamila]

What?

[Mecca]

I don't fuck with that. There's a bit of trauma that's attached to that. We don't have to get into that. But what I'm saying is do not tell me you gonna do something. Especially cause I'm, I am the type not to ask. Well, let me not say that. Cause one thing I will do is ask a nigga for money. But I'm. But I'm a very independent person and that is obvious when you come into my sphere. I think when, when I get close to men, like and they come into my house and they look around and it's like, it's just you. It's just you here. Like yes. No, this is all me. I do everything for myself. Like I don't have to talk about being an independent ass woman because it's clear when you're dealing with me that I am. Now once we're getting to the point past where it's like you want to contribute to my life, that's where I'm like, open that purse. But before that, what ends up happening in my experience is that when niggas see that you are hyper independent, they will offer stuff and they think they offering it to like really word a minute. They don't mean that they don't plan on doing it. They only want to offer it to show their worth. Do you get what I'm saying?

[Jamila]

Because never experienced that.

[Mecca]

I'm crying.

[Jamila]

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[Mecca]

@Mintmobile.Com Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] still getting around to that fix on your car. You got this on ebay. You'll find millions of parts, parts guaranteed to fit. Doesn't matter if it's a major engine repair or your first time swapping your windshield wipers. Ebay has that part you need ready.

[Jamila]

To click perfectly into place for changes.

[Mecca]

Big and small, loud or quiet. Find all the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time. But you already know that. Ebay things people love. Eligible items only. Exclusion supply.

[Jamila]

Amber back.

[Mecca]

Okay, hold that thought because I really want to get into that, because I've talked about this with Kuti before. No, I've talked about this with Kuti before. I, I. You know how when you be like, oh, I need my man to do X, Y, and Z, da, da. And the girls be like, I've never met no man like that. Or the niggas be like, I'm not like that. I'm like, I'm. Be honest. I ain't never crossed a nigga who said anything I said was out of pocket. I feel like I only attract niggas who gonna go.

[Jamila]

I've never dated a guy. I've also. I don't ask guys for really anything. I don't ask for anything. I'm not gonna. I don't know what it is. I just.

[Mecca]

I don't ask as much. Now in my early 20s, I am not asking any.

[Jamila]

I'm not asking you for anything.

[Mecca]

Right.

[Jamila]

Like, and I do mean anything. I do not. That's the issue.

[Mecca]

You gotta. The things you ask for. When I. When we were younger, I used to ask for a lot because I actually needed it. Like, I needed the money. Like, I needed the money to go get my nails done. Like, because I didn't. I didn't want to spend my money over here. Now it's like, I have the funds, so I don't necessarily ask for funds, but I'll ask for other stuff. Like, can you come help me do this? Can you take flex here? Da, da, da. Can you do X, Y, and Z? Like, I'm big on asking because I feel like when, like, a person's willingness. And this can be men, women, they, them. A person's willingness to, like, tap in and help you out shows what type of person they are, type of partner they potentially will be. And there are little tests that, like, the older we get, I've learned that's something I absolutely do. Like, can you please help me do this? And this is not like a monetary thing. It's something kind of where you Got to show up.

[Jamila]

So you like Acts of Service?

[Mecca]

My Acts of Service gifts. I am definitely do things for me. But I'm also like that. I constantly say I'm like that because I have the dad who. I told him I liked Kit Kats one time when I was in third grade, and the nigga shows up with Kit Kats to this day, I've changed my candy tastes how many times? But he held onto that. Like, he was just always a parent who would show up with random little gifts for us. Like, I saw this and I thought of you and I got it.

[Jamila]

I don't know what it is, but, you know, I think what it is, is with my dad, like, a lot of the stuff that we experience because my dad is very. I know he's going to watch this and trend. Don't, like, you're still a boy, so don't ever get to, you know. But like, this nigga be good at shit. Like, he's good at being a guy. Like. So the example I have, unfortunately, like, you know, seeing the way that my dad treats my mom, it's not like my. At least from my perspective, I'm sure they have their own thing outside of us, but in my perspective, like, my mom be. Don't. Don't be like, asking my dad for a lot of stuff. Like, she's not going to be like, oh, can you. Da, da, da, da, da. Like, you know, for example, for Valentine's Day, since, you know, here we are now. My dad has been slacking for the past couple of years, so. Pick it up, Jeffrey. But we used to get Valentine's Day gifts every single year from my father. And so. And it was not because we asked, like, daddy, can we get something for Valentine's Day? Like, never, ever. Like, it was just something that he did. And so maybe that's where it comes from. For me, I never think to be like, let me ask, like, I want to see what you're going to do just off the strength of you being you. I don't want to have to coach a man to do anything. And that's not even me saying, like, I'm testing a nigga. It's not even on some test shit. Because, like, if you don't ever get me something that we were talking for two months, I don't feel like that's not a necessarily a ding against you. It's just something that, like, I noticed that, like, I don't experience a lot. Like, I.

[Mecca]

It's.

[Jamila]

I just don't like what's interesting Also is a lot of men don't. And maybe this is just my experience and maybe I just have low standards. I'm just a slut whore. I don't know. But the dates are far and few in between.

[Mecca]

I don't never.

[Jamila]

The guy that I dated most recently has been the most most consistent dates. I've been on like actual dates before that. It's been like, I wonder what that.

[Mecca]

Is because I don't experience that. I literally had that.

[Jamila]

I always told my friends I had a curse. I could never get to a second date.

[Mecca]

Oh.

[Jamila]

And I mean a date not obviously I could, you know, link up a couple times or I would see you more.

[Mecca]

When you message people or like when you're meeting, do you suggest spots? Because I, me and Koussi have literally had this conversation online all the time. Like some of these problems that I hear is like. And it was, it was funny because, you know, Koussi is my best friend. She's Ghanaian and she's a dark skinned woman, right? So we were on live talking about this same thing and I was saying what I'm saying to you, Jameela. I've never had this issue. Like I be getting taken on dates and everything, da, da, da. And so then they start to try to make it a colorism thing. And she was like, well, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I get taken on dates too, bitch. I don't know what the hell you just talking about. Like, I don't, I think it genuinely, it's, it's like aura. Or then maybe it's also like how you approach. Because I will say me and Mikayla lived together at one point in time and we do have a very similar style in approach in how we deal with men. So her saying, me being like, I've never had this issue, We've never have this issue, but we do things kind of the same. Like when I meet someone, I'm just, I'm aware of how I present myself. Does that make sense? So I present myself very manicured, very put together. These are silent signalers that like you, like, this is upkeep and I'm doing it by myself. As far as you know, when you meet me, my nails are completely done. I don't ever have like raggedy nails. My hair is always put together. So when I'm suggesting dates and date night spots and it's like, you know, I guess Joey Uptown, you shouldn't be too shocked.

[Jamila]

I mean, I, I've, I feel like it's the same over here, I'm very like, I'm, I'm exactly who I am, if that makes sense. If you look at my Instagram like that, that's pretty much what you're going to get type shit. I'm very well put together, all of the things. I come with a lot of suggestions because I'm very much into doing stuff like activities my friends like, I'm used to just doing stuff like I want to. I, I suggest things all the time. But I think what typically happens is men feel like they gotta get the first date out the way to say that they did it and then they get. They want to immediately fast forward to like that comfort level.

[Mecca]

I don't, I don't let them do that. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe that's what it is. It's like, no, I don't, I, and I know, I know Koussey's like this too. I don't make niggas feel comfortable. Very quickly. Does that make sense? Like I, you know how, like exactly what you said. Maybe that is literally it because I, like, I know for sure.

[Jamila]

But how are. I'm trying to figure out what is, what is making a guy feel comfortable? Because I just feel like I cannot me, I cannot rewire my brain to do anything other than what it's already gonna do. Like, I don't know if that makes sense, but like, I can't, I cannot do all of these like games or like, I'm gonna say this thing to get this reaction. I'm gonna do this thing.

[Mecca]

It's not necessarily that simply just me.

[Jamila]

And if you, if you, you meet me where you show me who you are and I can only show you who I am. I cannot fathom, like, I just am not conscious. I cannot make myself be conscious in the way of like, oh, I have to do this or I have to.

[Mecca]

But it's not necessarily Vajameela. It's kind of like, I don't know you like that, nigga. Like I was saying. It's like I was saying, it's like you trying but. Because I get what you're saying. N will take you on one date and then want to take the mind you. We just met. You took me on a date. The comfortability level is at 5. And now after the date, you want to take the comfortability level to 27 and that and within a 24 hour span. That's not how it works. And I'm not going to sit here and act like that's how it works. So when Niggas start getting too friendly, too comfortable. It's like I always. It's not like you be like, nigga, relax. But you be doing stuff to let them know. Like, I don't know you like that. Like, I don't know. And maybe that's like the bit of the aggressive Aries energy in me. Like, I just naturally check that shit immediately. Like, oh, no. Like, you know how they'll be like, this is so cliche and a classic. And I will say, n. Don't do it as much now that I'm older. But the. What you about to do? I'm about to get in the shower. Without me? Yeah.

[Jamila]

Oh, God.

[Mecca]

I'm about to get in the shower. Like, I will. Like, I will always check it. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like. Like, oh, no. You wanted. You wanted to get into sexual innuendos. Absolutely not. I don't. I don't. And that's another thing I don't talk to sexually.

[Jamila]

I think when guys talk sexually. Before.

[Mecca]

Yes.

[Jamila]

Especially before you've ever even done anything. I am so turned off.

[Mecca]

Please.

[Jamila]

Like.

[Mecca]

Like, no.

[Jamila]

What? Like, what did you just say? Like, nigga, we ain't even kissed.

[Mecca]

And you talk about what?

[Jamila]

Like, there was this guy I had met out. This was the scariest shit I've ever encountered, bro. I was like, I don't think that was like, the most forward shit I've ever experienced. I met him out at some place I had went to. I thought he was cute. He came up, we exchanged numbers. I'm like, okay, cool. Like, you know, we'll hit each other up, whatever. So fast forward to like, maybe a week later. He started to hit me up. You know, we were having very casual conversation. Nothing really extreme. Just like a little Kiki here. Not even a Kiki child, just a little one, too. And one day I saw that he was FaceTiming me, and I was just like. But, you know, like, I don't mind random facetimes. Let me say that.

[Mecca]

I actually, I don't either.

[Jamila]

I like random FaceTime. I live for a major random FaceTime. But for me, our conversation via texting was not interesting enough for me to care. Like, I was not interested. I was not stimulated. Like, it was nothing. So when I saw that he was FaceTiming me, I didn't care to answer, so I just ignored it. And then the next day, I was just like, oh, my bad. I was sleep. You know, just a casual laugh. He said, oh, yeah, I was. I was trying to eat that last night. What Never responded. Are you shitting me? Mind you, you. We have barely even talked, nigga, that was the first time calling me. And you were trying to. You said, you. Mind you. I'm thinking in my head, maybe he was drunk last night because I. But then for you to sober up the next morning and still feel the need to send me that text message. You are a predator. You're scaring me.

[Mecca]

I. You know what? I do get real Kamala Harris vibes in the first three months. I'm not gonna lie.

[Jamila]

You. You are. But you're just very strict and judicious.

[Mecca]

I'm a strict lady. I really. And I think it goes back to what I was saying earlier about compartmentalizing and not being afraid to leave niggas alone. Like, if it's not giving. If I'm not feeling the conversation, I'm just. Yeah, I'm good on this.

[Jamila]

I feel that. I definitely am. If it's not. If you do something that I don't like or if I feel like we don't have compatibility, I have no issue with leaving it by the wayside. But I wouldn't. I would not classify myself as strict. I really would, because I know myself. Like, I just. I'm going to enjoy you in the moment. Like I said, like, I. Let's. We don't have to, like, do all like this. I don't. I just can't. Like, I don't feel like you should.

[Mecca]

Try and do, like, I feel like every. Like that. The. What I'm saying, it should feel natural. That's what you should not have to, like.

[Jamila]

I don't want to force yourself.

[Mecca]

But what. What I am saying, though, is that the moment. How do I. How do I say this? When you first start enforcing boundaries, it doesn't necessarily feel natural in the first, you know, well, now I have boundaries. No, I'm not saying you don't have boundaries. You said.

[Jamila]

Bitch. Please. You said this, bitch.

[Mecca]

No, because you step. No, but you said, like, you want it to feel natural. And the thing is, when you're. When. If you've been to therapy, like, enforcing boundaries and changing behavior is not going to feel natural at first. And I just know, like, it's obviously been, like, a culmination and very slow process, but being able to be like, no. And I don't talk to niggas who. It's like, if you don't, like, if it's only been, like, a couple weeks, I'm not burdened by the fact that, oh, my God, he's so cute. Oh, my God. I really like him. Like, I don't feel those things. Like, obviously, if you hang out and it's a good date, like, you, me, and you both know I'm a good time girl. Like, I'll make you feel like my boyfriend right there. Like, I'm not. I'm not. I'm also not a person who's on the dates awkward. That's also why it do be kind of funny.

[Jamila]

Yeah. I'm gonna have a good time.

[Mecca]

I'm gonna have a good time.

[Jamila]

And I feel like I take everything day by day. I try not to be too far in the future, and I think maybe that's why I'm just kind of like, I just don't have all these crazy expectations because I don't know what tomorrow's gonna be like. Today was a good day because I.

[Mecca]

Feel like the stricter you are, life is easier. And also, being strict, that's only gonna lead to the men or partners in your life who's supposed to be there because they're not. You haven't folded on yourself. You know, the one thing I've learned about is every time I've folded on my own boundaries, it only ended up hurting me for sure.

[Jamila]

Boundaries are very important. And I have. There are. I have my. My boundaries that I feel like are not. I don't want to say strict. They're just there that. That I stand firm in, and I. And I just don't bend on those things. But beyond that, like I said, I just take every day as a new dating.

[Mecca]

Dating is weird, though.

[Jamila]

I'm gonna be talking to you next week. So, like, today we're cool. Like, and I'll take it as that. Like, today we cool. Nothing has happened for me to not like you. I still think you're cute. Let's check in tomorrow, because tomorrow I could not think you're cute anymore. So let's enjoy today.

[Mecca]

Okay? I know you. You get bored easy and not thinking somebody's cute. But the thing with boundaries, I feel like is. And maybe it does. I'm trying to rehab my strict lady image. I don't want everyone to think I'm so strict. Maybe just a little bit. But the thing is, if you, like, have a really big boundary, I've just done a lot of work to see what are the little steps that can make it so this big boundary is broke. And I know that sometimes when you're dating, you want to give people chances. And maybe right now it's not a big deal. Right now it's just one little floozy. Da da da. But, like, I have just noticed as much because I've dated a lot of dudes, and it's like, okay, usually when you start trying to explain that one little floozy, that doesn't seem like a big deal.

[Jamila]

It is.

[Mecca]

It is a big deal because that's like the first red flag tell. And even. Maybe it's not even big enough to be a red flag, but it's a telltale. It's a precursor. It's foreshadowing. And so often you don't have to stop talking to them in that exact moment. But I do think you need to take note. And so when I say I'm strict, and I'm just like, no, that first time I'm taking note, and this next time I see it, it's clipped. Like, I'm just very, very observant. And every time I've ignored those little, little city signs, I end up regretting it. I value my peace way more.

[Jamila]

You have to pick up on the little weird things.

[Mecca]

Because that's the thing. It can be a little weird.

[Jamila]

And it's never just weird.

[Mecca]

It's wrong.

[Jamila]

It'd be wrong.

[Mecca]

But. But, you know, we're so like, oh, my God. Like, okay, the example I was going to give you was because I feel like this actually happens a lot.

[Jamila]

I was gonna say what's. Where's. What's the scenario?

[Mecca]

The scenario was you're supposed, like, you've been dating someone for, let's say, you've been dating them six weeks. So you guys have like a rapport. You know, maybe you've been on a date or two. You don't have to be. It doesn't have to be like, the most, like, you know, date, date guy. But you plan a date, and he completely, like, flakes.

[Jamila]

Like, he.

[Mecca]

He flakes with no, like, communication is what I'm. When I say flake, he cats off. And then he comes back the next day and he gives you an excuse as to why he cut it off. Now, here's the thing. The. The. You've known him, though, it's not like a first date where you. You've been talking to him for six weeks. So your inclination is to feel like, oh, my God, like, he gave me an excuse. Da, da da. Like, how would you handle that? Is what I'm saying.

[Jamila]

I've been in kind of this scenario before. I am a Listen first, act second. I try to, like, let me assess the situation. Not to say that I just let excuses Fly. But, like, I'll hear you out. I'll hear you out. But being flaked on to me is a really, really no go. Like, no. And there's a difference between, like, something came up and I just flaked. Because if something came up, you typically would say it when it's coming up, not the next. And that's how you know somebody's lying. I had this guy that I was talking to for a little bit, and he. We had planned a date, and I'm getting ready for the date and everything. I text him, like, hey, like, you're gonna be here at this time. No response. No response. Never got a response. So I just end up. Me and Jelani went out, and then the next day, he tried to hit me up. I was just like, nah, I'm. I'm good. Like, that was weird. He said his cousin had died. And in that moment, like, especially considering that time when that had happened, I was. It was a lot going on. I was trying to be empathetic because it's like, damn. I mean, if my cousin had just died, would I be thinking about a date that I was supposed to go on? Probably not. So I was trying to be empathetic and understanding, and so I was like, you know. You know, I understand. Like, you know, whatever. And I tried to let it go. He ended up rescheduling it for, like, a couple of weeks out, and the same exact shit happened. I said, damn, not. Your cousin died twice. And I stopped talking from that. Like, you don't get to know. You're not gonna just keep. And I don't. There's some things I don't fuck with.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

Like wasting my time is going to piss me off because I don't. And being super late and shit like that, I don't like when people are really late. I don't like people wasting my time. I am very, very anal about shit like that because things do come up, and if we have to reschedule, that's fine. Like, hey, something came up today. Can we. Da, da, da. But make a plan, since if you're in the wrong nigga, make a plan to correct it. N. We're gonna take a break. What if there were medicine that could heal almost anything? That would be great, but they didn't.

[Mecca]

Want you to know about it.

[Jamila]

Sorry, who's they?

[Mecca]

Some people are following me. And I brought my tortoise. From executive producers Mike Judge and Greg Daniels and co creators Joe Bennett and Steve Healy comes an animated comedy thriller about what it takes to Change the world. Common side effects. New episodes, Sundays at 11:30pm on Adult Swim. Now streaming on Max.

[Jamila]

And Rebecca.

[Mecca]

I have to be honest, I wouldn't have even given him the second day. And that's where Ms. Mr. Bitch, because I didn't. I didn't need you to finish.

[Jamila]

But see, in that scenario, I didn't.

[Mecca]

Need you to finish the story.

[Jamila]

I was gonna say, in that scenario, you said they didn't say anything. Yeah, during, like, beforehand. So that's. That's.

[Mecca]

No, I know.

[Jamila]

Now, if they would have said something beforehand, then I'll give you an opportunity.

[Mecca]

No, no. Letting me know that you're not gonna make it. That is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about what you did. Because the thing is, I was laughing because before you even said he rescheduled and did it again, I knew he did it again. Because the thing about them type of niggas, that's what they do. And they don't just do it with that. They'll do it with other shit that you keep fucking with him and you need help to come do this, come do that, and now he's flaking on you, and you don't know nothing. So the first time, I'm gonna be honest, I've been in that situation. I don't know why people always have people dying. I don't want to say everyone's lying, but the last time that happened to me, I literally sent, I'm so sorry. My condolences. That's how I responded to it. And, um, I didn't say anything else. He obviously didn't hit me back for the rest of the day. And. And. And, you know, he didn't hit me back the next day either. But then when he tried to hit me back, I didn't respond. He was like, damn. You know, I just had to, da, da, da, da, you ain't going. I didn't respond. I don't have any interest. I don't have any interest. I'm. And so I guess, like, that's the part where it's like, I have empathy. I'm sorry that that happened. My condolences. Like, and I absolutely do understand, like, having a sudden death in your family is very traumatic. But if you were interested in me at the level in which you're pontificating, acting like you are, because you would have seen that. See how I said the key here is it's not someone you just met. It's not someone you've been dating.

[Jamila]

So at this point, so in that Case that was somebody I had kind of just met. That's the only reason I gave him like that second chance. Because we hadn't even gotten there yet, right? There was no rapport or anything. So that's why I had gave him, like, okay, you know, like, let me.

[Mecca]

Just let me see.

[Jamila]

Because I didn't believe him when he said it. And you don't really know me to.

[Mecca]

Feel no ways about flaking on me. But a lot of time, like I said, when you have somewhat of a rapport, that's the situations where the girls will be like, oh, my God, he hasn't done this before. I kind of. I don't know him for real, but I kind of know him. Let me give him another chance. No, I'm sorry that happened. But if you were fucking with me, like, you. Like I thought you were fucking with me, you would have let me know what was happening and you would have let me know so I could. Oh, my God, what you need? Da da da. Like da da da da da. Because that's what people do when they care about somebody for real. I mean, that is what happens.

[Jamila]

I'm really big on because this is what I've noticed. And I think your love. It's interesting because I feel like maybe this is just the me thing, but whatever. I feel like your love language changes and adjusts as you grow and depending on what you're lacking and you're receiving, if that makes sense. So for me, my love languages used to be something completely different, but now my love languages are very much words of affirmation because that was something. Something I was not getting for a long time. Like, I would not hear any of those things I would never know. And it started to make me self conscious and a little bit like, more self aware of, like, I'm not hearing the things I need to hear. And you know what? I actually need to hear those things for validation. I actually don't think you like me anymore unless I hear you actively saying how much I mean to you. What do you feel about me? How do you. What do you think about me? I need to hear it often so I can get that validation. And what I've noticed is a lot of men really suck at that. They feel like just their presence. I wouldn't even be talking to you if I didn't think you was pretty, nigga.

[Mecca]

That's so weird, Jameela, because I just feel like I'm not an affirmation girl. Like I said, I'm more of an action girl. And on Top of that, my mother is extremely affectionate, and my mom is extremely, like, affirming, like. But my dad is, like, the complete opposite. And so even if, like, I mean, you've seen how me and Darren to interact, we don't really say, like, we don't. We don't say I love you a lot. We don't hug each other a lot. Like, that's not. Like, we're not physically affectionate in that way. But, like, I don't. I don't doubt it. Like, if I. If he needs something, I got him. If I need something, he got me. So I definitely carry that spirit with my energy, like, into my relationships. And I have to say, as someone who. Words of affirmation. You could tell me I'm pretty or not. I'd be running down on all the niggas who are constantly like, you're so. You're so. And it's. I. I be wanting to be, like. I be feeling like I need to say it back to them. Because something I've noticed is, like, people. People do what their love language is. Do you get what I'm saying? And it's.

[Jamila]

And it's.

[Mecca]

It's just natural. Like, oh, I like being told I'm attractive, so I'm gonna tell you attractive, because I do that. Like, I like. I like people doing stuff for me, so I do stuff for people. We have to, like, love people in their own love languages. And I'm trying to figure out. It's like, the cliche, like, opposite the track, but I don't know, because I. That is, like, a thing.

[Jamila]

When do you like that, though?

[Mecca]

Or does it make you feel uncomfortable.

[Jamila]

Since you're not really.

[Mecca]

I like it, like, obviously, who doesn't like being told they're pretty, but, like, what you're talking. This is not. This is not the first time Jamil and I have had this conversation. I am coming to this with a bit of prior knowledge. And it's like, I just. What you be describing that you want is what niggas will do to me. And it doesn't. It doesn't do for me what I know it would do for you. So I'm. And I be sitting here like, how do you even. How do you, like, translate how to get a nigga? I don't know. I really don't know what to tell you to, like. I really don't know.

[Jamila]

It's one of those things where it's like, I don't. I'm. I don't actively, like, seek out men in General. So I feel like I just don't date as many people in general. Like, I just, I just don't like, I don't. I'm not on the apps. I'm not doing all of that or anymore.

[Mecca]

I'm not on the apps either. I get like. I just do respond to Instagram DMS if that makes.

[Jamila]

I don't even be opening them.

[Mecca]

So. So unless they're super sexy. I have noticed. I'm trying to. I'd be over here trying to draw the. Connect the dots. Typically when niggas like will constantly respond to your stuff and be like, oh my God, you're so pretty and stuff. Not the ones who just simply do heart eyes, but the ones who take it a step further and will like type out, oh, you're pretty. Oh, you're this. Those are the ones who will also articulate it to you in person.

[Jamila]

You know what? I've also experienced n who do that. And then once you get with them, they immediately stop. Well, yeah, I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like I'm just. I truly. I always say, like, I just feel like I have the worst look.

[Mecca]

Truly I've experienced that, but not with the compliments. Like, they'll stop liking my stuff.

[Jamila]

So many trauma scenarios like you would not if I laid it all out. Guys, y'all need to get Jamila dating.

[Mecca]

Show because I feel like I'm just like, I've never experienced that in my life. And Jamila's like Metro.

[Jamila]

Nobody has. No, literally nobody I know has experienced all of the bullshit that I have. I just think I have bad fucking luck. Like I can't even say it's who I attract. I can't even put that on my side. Gonna put that on me no more. Because some of the shit that I have experienced is like, bitch, what the fuck? And it's like, bitch, I don't know. Like I don't know what the fuck it is because all of these niggas are completely different. Like I don't have a type in really any sense of the word. Like if I do, you go, okay.

[Mecca]

As someone from a two parent household, are you very intentional about dating men who are also from two parent households?

[Jamila]

I feel like if I want to take you seriously, then that's definitely something I consider. But I haven't been wanting to take anybody seriously. So I didn't really give it up.

[Mecca]

I think that even, even yet. And still now I'm not.

[Jamila]

But that's.

[Mecca]

I was gonna say, obviously this is nuanced.

[Jamila]

Men who hate their mothers will hate you.

[Mecca]

Yes, this is nuanced. And I'm not saying every single man from a two parent household is the one for you, however, but however would you say comma, however. However, something I have noted is when you run down on a man like Jeffrey who has a daddy like Jeffrey Bell, who has a daddy who handled business, even if they are not wanting you, they will still come across like they're handling business. And I say that to say I have myself dated and seen my homegirls date guys who like they had really good fathers. They watched their fathers treat their mothers very well and so they naturally treat women in general very well. And so sometimes that can even cause confusion. And does he really like me? Because you're not used to getting treated very well when in fact this nigga doesn't even like you like that. He's just decent. And you're not used to decent niggas. So my.

[Jamila]

That happens a lot. Happens a lot with the couples that I know that are engaged or married or pretty much about there. All of the men have, if their parents are not still together, their father was very present in their life. They have both parents in their life or their parents are still together. See that so often there, there's just simply.

[Mecca]

You can simply go on Twitter and see the who talk about their. Mind you, they mothers did everything for them. They still blame the fact that they daddy didn't want them on their goddamn mamas. That is crazy. As mother. I don't give a damn what nobody says. I don't give a damn what nobody says. There, there is absolutely a correlation.

[Jamila]

How you mad at your mama cause your daddy left?

[Mecca]

Are you stupid, you ass?

[Jamila]

That's why your mama should have beat you a little bit more with your dumb ass.

[Mecca]

God damn mind you. Jamila, Jamila don't believe in whoopings.

[Jamila]

I don't even believe in weapons. But you need your ass whipped with your big blockhead ass. Yeah, no, that's your daddy a dead.

[Mecca]

And those are questions that I absolutely ask. Maybe that's it though, because those are questions I ask. I'm like, oh, like what's your relationship with your dad like? I also do be making it clear like I have a father. I'm big. I'm big on that. I'm not fatherless because I do be feeling like, mind you, it's not funny. I'm light and daring to spot up. Just know that niggas, they absolutely notice when you move like you don't have a Daddy. And they're aware. They're aware. Just. Baby, you think. You think. You think, you think they aren't sharp on your situation. You don't never have to tell them.

[Jamila]

They'Re preying on you.

[Mecca]

You don't ever have to tell him you. Your dad wasn't in your life. They can tell. They smell blood in the water, okay? So I carry it like, do you have a father? Because I do. Yeah.

[Jamila]

And it's funny because I was talking to this one guy, and I had said something so casually like, oh, yeah, I was just gonna get my daddy to, like, look at it or something like that. And I thought he was so funny. And I'm like, what? Call your daddy? Yeah.

[Mecca]

Yeah, I have a dad.

[Jamila]

Yes. What?

[Mecca]

And it just. It just reminded me three years ago, that was one of the other tiktoks that had made it over to Twitter. And the niggas were so mad because I had a roster and I was talking to niggas and I had to move, and I asked all three of the niggas I was talking to to come help me move, and none of them. Now, mind you, I didn't say this in the video. I was only fucking one of them, and I wasn't, you know, like, I was only fucking one. It made it seem like I was fucking all three. But I asked all three to come help me move because, you know, I was talking and dealing with them, and all three of them didn't. And what did I do? I called my dad. My dad sent me the money for the movers, and I immediately stopped talking to them. N. And it was like I was just like this whole big thing. Well, it's like. No, but that's the thing.

[Jamila]

Y'all missed the whole point of that.

[Mecca]

Yes, the whole fucking point, as usual. Like. Like, this shouldn't even be a question of if you should not be fucking nobody, dealing with no one who you cannot come call in the middle of the night to help you come change your tire, baby. I don't give a damn what nobody say.

[Jamila]

It's weird. And sometimes I feel like. And this I know is problematic, but sometimes I genuinely feel like I shouldn't even expect for a guy to operate like my father, because that would simply be unfair, because I know you could never.

[Mecca]

No, but.

[Jamila]

And that's not even.

[Mecca]

It's like, I'm just so serious.

[Jamila]

Like, y'all just don't understand. Okay, maybe that's. I just don't even expect it, because I know you guys could never deliver. Y'all could never be Jeffrey Bell. So why would I expect these to be Jeffrey Bell?

[Mecca]

That's why you keep ending up with who now? Okay, now we get into the root. We get into the rut that expect. No, it's not. Jamila, Listen, shout out to Jasmine Drake. You know Jasmine Drake.

[Jamila]

The expectation is great and all, but you also. I also have to. It's also just n. Like, y'all have to, like, you can cast a wide net.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

And I feel like I've casted a wide net. And while I have quote unquote, low expectations, it doesn't mean that, like, I'm just. Just grabbing any and everything and allowing things to happen. Like, I still have boundaries. I can still recognize when somebody is not shit or not worth a damn. And I can leave them by the wayside. What I'm saying is a lot of these men just don't have good qualities.

[Mecca]

Fair enough.

[Jamila]

And it's just like, it's. It just is what it is. So I'm. I lower my expectations because I feel like the expectations. If you have lower expectations, you're not.

[Mecca]

You're not getting your feelings.

[Jamila]

My heart's not broken if it doesn't work out. Like, I. I didn't expect it to. Like, you're just a boy, and I expect a boy to behave like a boy. Now obviously, if I had somebody with amazing qualities in front of me, like, I'm not stupid. I know how to, you know.

[Mecca]

Do you practice, like non attachment? Because I think that tying your expectations to, like, your feelings being hurt, the piece there is like, your feelings getting hurt because you expect them to be, you know, to. To maybe live up to your dad.

[Jamila]

Like I said, I. As far as like, me being strict or what have you, I am just. I can only be Jameela. And if I.

[Mecca]

But you can own. But you're. But you're not even being Jameela for real because you're not expecting what you naturally would expect of a nigga. Do you get what I'm saying?

[Jamila]

But expecting it and not receiving it are two different things.

[Mecca]

No, but what I'm saying is you're saying you can only be yourself. You had a really good example of a dad who was like, you saw him do all this stuff for your mom. So you are saying you naturally do. You naturally do have these expectations of men, but you yourself are lowering the expectations to meet them. Where you're at, you're already altering how you're coming into the situation.

[Jamila]

I mean, I guess I really don't know it's just like I said, I don't have these expectations for you to upgrade, for you to be able to uphold the standard that my, my dad said. But I still want that. You know what I'm saying? Obviously, like, I, I don't want to. I don't. And I won't settle. And that's like the point. Like, I'm, I'm not settling. I'm not just gonna be like, oh, well, I guess it's as good as it's gonna get.

[Mecca]

So what's an example of something that like, you expect, like you saw your dad did and you naturally would expect a man to do the way.

[Jamila]

Let me, let me see. I don't want to get too.

[Mecca]

Yeah, no, that's why I was like, not a specific, but like something really light hearted, like, not serious.

[Jamila]

Okay. Just for example, like the way my mom could say anything. My mom could say anything. Like, my mom is. If, you know my mother, she is similar to me in the fact in the way that she has a very strong personality and she is 100% herself. And when I tell you I've never seen it phase my dad ever, my mama could be hanging from the ceiling from her toenail with a G string on it. My dad does not waver in the way in which my mom is just herself. And on top of that, my mom could be anywhere right now. And if she's calling my dad for help in any kind of way, it's not even a question. And it's not, it's not like a. It's not. He's not upset about it. Like, nothing. Yeah, he doesn't get upset at having to help his wife. Yeah, he's never frustrated with having to step in and help her, like, because that's what he wants to do and because he feels that sense of love and like, protection of her. And I'm not even like a super gender roley type of bitch. And I think a huge part of that is because honestly, when I look at my parents, kind of their gender roles are almost flipped in kind of a way. Like, my dad is very much domesticated and my mother is, has always been very, very work, work, work.

[Mecca]

Same with the boss bitch.

[Jamila]

Like, yeah, she manages the finances and all of those things. And my dad is Molly the maid, so.

[Mecca]

Well, okay, to your point about how your dad can. Or your mom, whatever she's doing, she knows she can rely on your dad for help. You grew up with that and that is a natural expectation of you. So like when you go into dating Situations. What I'm saying is I don't. Especially once you're kind of getting past the six week mark. I don't think that you should pull back on expecting to be with someone who you can call whenever you need anything. In fact, you don't even have to start calling them about serious shit. But you can already temp check for how he's feeling about search. And that's what I'm saying. I do. Like I will.

[Jamila]

I was gonna say. And that maybe that's the thing. I'm not. I don't do that at all. I just, I'm not like, if. Even if something goes wrong, like say, say I have a flat tire or whatever, by the time you hear about it, it had already been fixed. And it's just like me having casual child. Why the other day and my tire got flattened. Like, I'm not even thinking about, like telling you in the moment because that's just not the way I move. I typically, I just. Even if I'm optimizing and I bring.

[Mecca]

It up later, you should notice if he says, why you ain't call me? I'm just, I'm just saying that the things that, like how you say, you're like casting a wide net, but these are the indicators that this person is going to be in line with how your dad thinks. Because sometimes niggas do want to help. You just don't think to do it. And I definitely do understand that. And I know for me personally, when as someone who is also very hyper independent and I'm talking and like, why you didn't call me? I would have came and helped you. Oh, I didn't even think about that. Yeah, I feel like if he have an attitude that you didn't call him, that's a good sign. You do. Like, for real, like, he. Why didn't you call me? I would have came and helped or I would have did this. I would have did xyz.

[Jamila]

I suppose I just don't really.

[Mecca]

You're not looking at Melissa in the camera. I suppose, I suppose.

[Jamila]

I mean, not.

[Mecca]

This turned into a Dr. Phil session on Jameela's dating life. Why you feel like you not worthy, girl?

[Jamila]

I do. I just don't accept these men are just. It's just not happening. Like, so I don't have expectations. I just, you know, like I said, I take it day by day. Today was a good day. See you tomorrow.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take a break.

[Jamila]

And we're back.

[Mecca]

So Jamil and I are about to get into Our segment, Spin it. It's where you send your messy, low down, salacious, disgusting scenarios in. Now, full disclaimer. Jamil and I are not PR professionals. We just simply studied PR in college and we love the Hustle and we'll help you put a good spin on your story. Now, keep in mind, the advice might be unhinged and it may be immoral, but that is literally what PR is. It's not always ethical. It's how you're gonna get out of your pickle dick. So, Jameela, what do we have this week?

[Jamila]

So, guys, before you send in your Spin it, two things I want y'all to do. Please include ages of people involved because it matters. It matters for our advice, the type of advice we'll give. And number two, if you are going to use fake names or aliases, please use names. Don't be doing friend. A, B, C123. I'd be too confused. I don't know if I'm dyslexic.

[Mecca]

I was about to ask her if I should read it. Jamila, you were so damn confused.

[Jamila]

Too much. I was having a damn stroke. So just go ahead and give them fake names so I can make sure the story go along because I'm gonna get confused. Okay, auntie, not that shit.

[Mecca]

And don't forget, the email is unhinged anymore. Pod gmail dot com.

[Jamila]

Alrighty, let's get into it. First of all, love y'all down, but let me get right to it. I have these two friends. They are not necessarily friends, but they are by extension of me. We have a group chat, we've gone out together. They've given each other advice, things like that. So anywho, we'll just call them Brianna and Katherine. Brianna and I have been friends for about 12 years. Katherine and I have been friends for about six years. Catherine and her man are going through a separation. Briana knows this and Catherine's man as well. We have all hung out at bars and whatnot. One night, Brianna and I go to the bar and she's like, oh, come with me. I'm about to meet this dude at this spot. Get to the spot. Lo and behold, it's Katherine's man. I stopped dead in my tracks. I'm like, the fuck is this? So he's acting like everything cool Breonna is hugged up on him. And I'm like, y'all know I'm telling, right? Y'all dead wrong. Brianna is like, that's not my friend. That's your friend. I just wanted to know what y'all would do in this situation.

[Mecca]

That's so short, sweet, and to the point. Oh, well, y'all are in a group chat line.

[Jamila]

Girl, she out of line. But she's also crazy as fuck for inviting you over to her.

[Mecca]

Doing salacious. But you know what? Why she was it, Brian. Who. Who was with whose, man? Brianna was with Brianna's. Brianna was on cash, so Brianna did that to get it out the way. You know what I'm saying?

[Jamila]

Because.

[Mecca]

And you know what? I damn near respect Briana. I damn near respect Brianna for at the top inviting you because, like. Because she said that not my friend. You are the anchor and the link between us, the two of us. And I just want to go ahead, get this out the way. I'm this lady. This lady, man.

[Jamila]

And it gave. It's not a secret. I'm not sneaking around. If she was, I just. She don't need to know my teeth.

[Mecca]

If she was willing to invite you and she knows you're that girl's friend, it is absolutely no secret. They'd be outside together. And they've been outside.

[Jamila]

Wait, hold on. I need to figure out which ones was getting a separation.

[Mecca]

It's Catherine.

[Jamila]

Catherine and her man.

[Mecca]

And she been friends. Okay, Catherine. Well, yeah. And she said she gave years. Was. Who was. Who was. Catherine was six years, and Brianna was 12.

[Jamila]

Brianna and I have been friends for 12 years. That's your best Judy, though.

[Mecca]

And that's why Brianna had you tell. Yeah, and that's why Breanna don't give a damn. Cause y'all been friends so long, she said, girl, you was my friend first. I don't give a. I don't know that lady. I think you should tell Kathy. I think you should. Absolutely. But you know what? Ugh.

[Jamila]

Cause you are put in a predicament where it's not. It's not one of those things where. Because you are friends with both of them. Like, you are probably equal friends with both of them, but they are not friends. So, like, Katie's not in the wrong. I mean, Bri is not in the wrong.

[Mecca]

Right?

[Jamila]

But that's still Katie's nigga. You're in the middle. You are your friend.

[Mecca]

Some girls both are you. Katherine is wrong, though, because of the fact that they're on a group chat together and that they've hung up. I'm sorry. Some people. Some girls would absolutely argue Briana's in the wrong because of the fact that they've interacted and they've done all these things, but I think that goes back to who do you consider a friend and an acquaintance? And as you get older, it's a bitch. However, comma, however.

[Jamila]

If a bitch is in a group.

[Mecca]

Chat with me, that don't mean we're friends.

[Jamila]

Yes. But, like, my nigga that I'm separating from, like, that would. I would be.

[Mecca]

That's out of pocket. That is like, Brianna, like, you wouldn't.

[Jamila]

Feel some type of way.

[Mecca]

Briana's out of pocket. All the.

[Jamila]

She's out of pocket.

[Mecca]

Breanna is out of pocket. But I do understand Brianna being like, that's not my friend. But you know what else? But you know what else?

[Jamila]

It would be one of those things where it's like, oh, bitch, you're weird, and I would just never talk to you again.

[Mecca]

But it wouldn't be on someone. Because if you think about it, you know what this tells me? Because she said they've all been in and they've shared space. Catherine Mann been looking at Brianna. Catherine Mann been thinking, oh, for sure.

[Jamila]

And they probably been fucking. That's.

[Mecca]

That's probably why they separated. And that's probably why Brianna at the top wanted to let you know what the fuck was going on. She ain't wanna be creeping with that nigga no more.

[Jamila]

Mm.

[Mecca]

Ooh.

[Jamila]

I don't even. As far as the spin it, we need to spin it for all three girls.

[Mecca]

Yeah, okay. This is a fun one, y'all. So first of all, yeah, we need.

[Jamila]

To actually spin all three.

[Mecca]

Briana, you're very easy. As you said, that's not your friend. You can absolutely argue. Just because we have a mutual friend, just because we've been in shared spaces, and even if we're in a group chat, we're all in group chats. I'm not friends with every person I'm in a group chat with. I would consider them, like, acquaintances and different things, like levels. I think Briana will have the easier spin because she can definitely say anytime someone rebuttals with, oh, y'all been outside together? Yeah, because we have a mutual friend.

[Jamila]

Like, and you can keep fucking him. And as far as how you deal with your friend, like, you can't get mad if she wants to tell Katherine.

[Mecca]

I think what you. I was gonna say, I think the hardest spin it is going to be for the girl who wrote this in, because from either perspective, you can see, like, oh, you gonna stay with your friend you've been with 12 years, or you gonna stay, do what's, quote unquote, right and wrong. I think that you should make. Since you have a group chat, you should make that bitch tell her in the group chat. Say in the group chat.

[Jamila]

Yeah. And I would say, like I was gonna say, make her be the one to spill the beans so that you don't have to spill. And then whenever your friend Katherine confides in you, then you can be like, yeah, I did. Like I told her to tell. Cause I didn't, you know, Da da, da, da. Like, you can kind of play at both sides to be honest, if you want to keep both your friends. But what's going to have to happen subsequently is they can't be friends anymore. That's not going to happen anymore. Brianna already decided to maintain both of your friendships.

[Mecca]

Yeah, like, but honestly, Catherine. But you have to think of it from the perspective Katherine might want her to choose up. Like this is that type of situation where she could lose her friend, either one of them. So the spin it has to be, how can you take yourself out this situation without looking like a sucker? Because I will say I haven't been in this situation per se, but I've seen it happen and known all parties involved. And the mutual friend saying you don't want to get involved is not. Is not the answer you think it is. You're already involved, beloved. You in it now, little sister.

[Jamila]

You in it.

[Mecca]

You now you're in it.

[Jamila]

Yeah. It's one of them things where sometimes neutrality is a choice.

[Mecca]

Yeah. And it's a. Neutrality is not going to look good in this.

[Jamila]

In this particular situation, that choice is choosing. Like sometimes you think you're not that.

[Mecca]

What was it saying when you stay silent in the face of oppression, you've sided with the oppressor. Like staying silent in this situation, it's going to give that.

[Jamila]

So I think what you should do is spend most of your time catering to your Katherine friend only because she's the one that's going to be shit out of luck right now. She's losing her nigga and she's going to feel like she's losing her friend. Brianna's good. She got a new and she don't really give a about. She probably is not going to be too mad at. At you. Either way you go like, she's kind of. She's more so because she knows she did some up. So she probably like, that's why she wanted to be put on the back burner.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jamila]

You can put on the back burner for now. Focus on your friendship with Katie. Be there in her time of need while she's separating from this and realizing that, you know, her acquaintance slash friend is kind of bogus as. So she's gonna have to go through that. She gonna have to be more of a friend to her and kind of let Bri. Bri sit to a side. But after a while, you can be like Katherine, you know, I'm still friends with, you know, I still feel like her as a friend. And you know, I would. I'm not going to put you in a situation where you have to be like around her and shit like that, but, you know, we cool, like she cool with me type shit.

[Mecca]

So what I think, I really, really think you're already in a group chat and Briana doesn't give a fuck because again, she only invited you because she's already in the wrong. She knew what it's gonna look like in the wrong. She would be in the wrong er, if you had had to find out about this. Like if y'all had found out that she was fucking Kathryn Mann. That's grounds for even you to stop being her friend. Cause that's like, bitch, you're dishonest. You're a snake, right? And some you could consider her a snake now. But she came and said, hey, this is what it is. She clearly don't give a fuck. Put her on the spot. Put her on the spot in that damn group chat and say, hey. And you can warn her that you're gonna put her on the spot or you don't even have to. I don't even think it's necessary. Cause she don't seem like she give a fuck. I would get in that group chat today and be like, hey, so Brianna, I think that you should talk to Katherine.

[Jamila]

You two bitches got something to talk about.

[Mecca]

And then when she say play dumb. If she try and play dumb, Breanna, stop playing dumb. You know, you need to tell her something. After that, do what Jamila said. Back, back you can get. Especially since you already told them at the top that you're telling Katherine. But you don't have to tell Katherine. Cause that, you know, the thing about it is psychologically, even though you're not the one doing the wrong, people don't want to hear bad news. So you could still be put categorized as a bad guy. Like you don't want to be like, make her. Make it come from the actual villain in the situation. Then you back, back, you cater to Catherine. Do not bring up Breonna, since you don't plan on not being friends with Breonna. Like when she starts Trying to shit talk Breonna. All you gotta do is say, mm, mm, that was wrong. You don't even have to. Honestly, I wouldn't even say that was wrong. Yes, say that was crazy. Because the thing about saying that's true.

[Jamila]

That's always listen when in doubt. That's crazy.

[Mecca]

Because if you say that's wrong, then if Katherine wants you to not be friends with Breanna, she gonna put it in your face. You said you thought the bitch was wrong anyway. No, I said that was crazy.

[Jamila]

I said my bitch was crazy. I said, that's something I would.

[Mecca]

I wouldn't have did that.

[Jamila]

And it's not that.

[Mecca]

That, that would. That's not what I would have did.

[Jamila]

But she's a. But she's a fun girl.

[Mecca]

She's funny, you know. So it just depends on how you want to handle the situation if you want to keep both of your friends. But I definitely think you need to put Breanna on the spot. And that's going to be some tea in there. I don't know if you messy like me, but that would be. That's going to be some tea. Because putting Brianna on the spot especially. And I would be so interested to see if Breonna going to be offended by being put on the spot because it's like, bitch, you already brazen. You invited me out, told me bitch wasn't your friend, and you told me and I told y'all straight up, I'm finna tell her. So I just decided. You tell her. I want to tell her.

[Jamila]

Yeah. And also, here's the thing. Sometimes you may look at something one way and the other two parties involved may look at it two different ways. Right. So for example, you said, you know, they're not necessarily friends, they're just more so friends by association through you. But that may not be how they're interpreting their friendship or their relationship. Katherine may feel like they have a. Some sort of defined friendship. Brianna may feel like they have some sort of defined friendship or lack thereof. So honestly, what you're interpreting is not.

[Mecca]

Always because you're friends with both of them. Yeah. You're friends with both of them, so you're inter. You know what, that is a really good point, especially as someone who participates in these type of dynamics, being an anchor friend and also being a friend who latches on because we're all just moving together. And I can. That's why I'm saying Brianna's sheisty. But I'm not gonna say she wrong because I know what it's like to. Yeah, we gonna go out all together. And I'm familiar with my homegirl's homegirl. That's not my friend, though. I would not feel no ways about fucking with someone she broke up with. That's not my friend. No. I feel beyond, like, low key. I feel like to stop my friend. We just got a mutual homegirl. I don't know now for the sake of my home, like. But the older you get in certain stuff. That's why I wanna know the ages. Because this is some like, early 20s.

[Jamila]

But it sounds. They sound like older because she says she. They sound like at least our age or a little bit older because she's somebody's married in the situation. Because she said separation. She said they're going through a separation. You would not say that if y'all were just dating and y'all broke up things.

[Mecca]

They not even the beloved.

[Jamila]

I'm saying, girl, listen, you got me.

[Mecca]

Up here sounding like a. I'm like, now.

[Jamila]

I don't.

[Mecca]

I was trying to figure out where y'all is. Wait. I was trying to figure out, like, what. You know, you can. You.

[Jamila]

You could.

[Mecca]

You can't wreck no apartment. That is a lease. That's a lease.

[Jamila]

Baby, that. That. Them damn. Them papers ain't even signed yet. That's what I'm like. None of them already grown married.

[Mecca]

I change everything. I.

[Jamila]

Wait, hold on. That's why she needs to focus on her friend Catherine.

[Mecca]

Start over. First of all, you need to cuss Brianna. Smooth the hell out. Now, as a Christian, I respect marriage. That as a Christian, I do respect the sanctity of marriage. And the thing about them people not divorced, if they separate, that means they not divorced. You up. You fucking somebody husband. And then you got the unmitigated gall to bring that girl home.

[Jamila]

Girl to invite her her friend.

[Mecca]

I'm not even on your side no more.

[Jamila]

You need your ass whooped like that's crazy. Like that's crazy as fuck. And you know what?

[Mecca]

Actually, actually, you go ahead and tell Katherine.

[Jamila]

And as a matter of fact.

[Mecca]

And you still do it in the group chat.

[Jamila]

And you say, listen, homegirl, who wrote in. I don't. We didn't give you a name. Angela.

[Mecca]

Angela.

[Jamila]

You should have called Katherine at the bitch house.

[Mecca]

Your husband is in this bitch house you talking about. Oh, you know, I'm finna tell her. No, we're finna should have put this on FaceTime.

[Jamila]

And then. Excuse me.

[Mecca]

Yeah, can y'all tell her what the fuck going on?

[Jamila]

Right?

[Mecca]

You ain't say it was her damn husband. Now, hold the hell on Brianna. That is low down and that is Pooh Shiesty. And you see people who still hasn't they don't get nowhere because you feel me, she's done lost her voice. And Gabby Union wrote a book about eating Dwyane Wade's ass. You don't get nowhere by stealing, by doing that, by moving like that. Now, shit, you could have at least waited till they got divorced and then you gon. And you gonna invite. Invite Angela out.

[Jamila]

Oh, and mind you, let's pretend Brianna and this husband of the other lady are in love. Which I doubt because y'all are just being lustful slutty horse. But let's pretend y'all are in love. If y'all really wanted this to work out, y'all went about this completely wrong. Because for y'all to just be on that slick shit and then invite the friend over whilst this is currently legally separated, it's just like. No, that's how you know this is a fast. Because if you truly cared about each other, y'all would have made this that y'all would have done this way more respectful. But y'all didn't care about respect because y'all are. And Angela, you need to cuss your friend the out.

[Mecca]

And.

[Jamila]

And since that's been your friend to your friend Katie.

[Mecca]

Since I've been your friend for 12 years. I know you got a rapport. 12 years ago we were 17. So you can cuss you've been known to. I. I don't even notice that.

[Jamila]

Like, what are you doing?

[Mecca]

Like this. What are like in that moment. Honestly, I did in front of Nigga, what the are you. This is married. Like.

[Jamila]

Nah, take the fact I don't like that.

[Mecca]

Cut the whole first part out. But you know what? Don't let let us. Let me get to the point where I realized they was married. Yeah, please. Jamila face like hold on. And I was literally looking at you like, why is you. I don't understand.

[Jamila]

Keep all of that.

[Mecca]

I don't understand. You're probably like Megan now hold on. You sound like a slut.

[Jamila]

Mecca's a home wrecking hussy.

[Mecca]

They wrecking a home he was invited into. And clearly this that invited you into his home. And that don't mean you should have taken the up the invitation especially.

[Jamila]

And she didn't made a copy of the damn key.

[Mecca]

Especially with a bitch that you done been around. That's crazy as fuck. And. And they're not even divorced with this.

[Jamila]

Girl probably been on double dates with.

[Mecca]

This separated me and. And I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say this. Brianna, I know this show. I mean, oh, my God, Angela, I know it's your friend. I would take note. You finna make me act like Karen Clark shared right now. Don't have that around your husband, in your house. I don't give a damn how long y'all been friends. Now. I. I say it all the time. I say it all the time.

[Jamila]

You gotta tell to put on some.

[Mecca]

Pants when my husband and T shirt. This is why I don't let. Come. Let me tell you something. I don't think that you can wreck a home that you was invited into. Y'all will never get me to say that. Always in the comments. Oh, y'all never blame me, man. Y'all never blame. No, it is absolutely a man's fault. It's. Whoever is in a committed relationship, it's their fault. We're not gonna sit here and act like the person who's participating is the most morally upright. Love Ariana. Ponytail down. And is she gonna be around my nigga? Is she gonna be around your nigga? And at this point, we can't even get mad at Ari. This is who Ari is. She's just like, fly sometimes. And I. And I love her for that. Like, I can appreciate her.

[Jamila]

She wants.

[Mecca]

Yo, nigga, she gonna get your. So since I know that I respect a bitch who.

[Jamila]

Who stay on that. I respect a bitch who just simply. Is that like a nigga stealer?

[Mecca]

That simply is that. I just. I don't know. There's something about fucking somebody else husband that just do it for me. I respect that. Will you ever be around my husband? Absolutely. The fuck not.

[Jamila]

Probably not, Angela. Not without no change.

[Mecca]

Angela, you need to cuss Brianna. Smooth the fuck out. And you need to do it in that group chat because this is a morale situation. This is a right or wrong. I feel like the one thing I can say, especially getting older, you can hold your friends accountable without being judgy. And if this is something that you don't necessarily agree with, like, if it was me. If it was me and Jameela. And again, now they will say in the comments, y'all are only girls girls. Conditionally, like, you're not a girls girl if it's your homegirl. And I can somewhat agree with that because let me tell you, if I knew my homegirl was fucking someone's husband, would I agree with. But I don't. I don't know his wife. I don't have no relationship to that lady. Am I going to be like, oh yeah, cool. No, I'm not going to stop being friends with you.

[Jamila]

Am I going to make a joke.

[Mecca]

Every time I get. Yes.

[Jamila]

Am I going to call her a home wrecking hussy on the low and on the high?

[Mecca]

No, I'm going to give it to her face. Like I'm going to say, I'm not going to be fake. I'm not going to. She's not going to think this is something that I agree with. But I'm not going to not be friends with her. Your parents, you're friends with both. You're friends with both of these bitches. So you actually do have like a moral situation going on here. And so it is going to look crazy if you do not condemn Breonna for her behavior. Right now, unfortunately you're in a pickle dick and you gotta do it in front of both them bitches so they know morally where you lie. That's just simply that. And also make it clear that most of the onus is on the husband. Cause I also think that's where women get it fucked up at. I wanna make that clear. Make it clear that that nigga is.

[Jamila]

They focus too much on the bitch.

[Mecca]

Exactly.

[Jamila]

There make sure the nigga gets nothing out of this.

[Mecca]

Do you get what I'm saying?

[Jamila]

He should be starving.

[Mecca]

The thing is, again, you're not the most morally upright individual if you choose to participate. But if we're talking like percentages wise, it's giving for me. I always say it's like a 85, 90, 15 to 10. Because this bitch not in a relationship, she don't owe me nothing. Like it's all on you. But I'm just not going to fake the funk. Like you got good principles and a good foundation. You don't.

[Jamila]

Because it's just the fact that she was. There were some. Even if they're not the best of friends. You don't have to be the best, best of friends to not that person's husband.

[Mecca]

You know.

[Jamila]

You know, if I have any, like if my, if my husband's gonna cheat on me, please let it be with a random I've never met in community.

[Mecca]

With mindball that that is and why he needs belt to ask too. Because why are you where we all.

[Jamila]

Sleep in my mouth is actually what you're doing.

[Mecca]

You know, I be around this bitch and, and, and up until this point I would hypothetically have to still be around this bitch because is Angela married. Because this is now. Now you done put Angela in a predicament. Angela gets married. Now, she can't invite Catherine, Brianna, or she. You know what I'm saying?

[Jamila]

Right? Because if they're. If she's married, then, you know, the. Be friends. It just.

[Mecca]

It gets convoluted.

[Jamila]

Why would you do that? Bri? Bri. That dick wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth. If you gonna be fucking husbands, go fuck some random bitches. Don't do that in your circle, even if it's a semi circle.

[Mecca]

Because even if you're not friends, even if you're not friends, what you can be said is, y'all run in the same circle. And that's to my point about earlier.

[Jamila]

And that's too fucking close.

[Mecca]

Too fucking close to be fucking someone husband. Now, I can get with you and be like, that bitch is not my friend. I absolutely understand that. But. But if you in a group chat together, that means you are in the same circle. You should not be fucking no one husband. You shouldn't be fucking anyone husband in general. But if you're gonna fuck someone husband, it shouldn't be a you in the same circle with point blank, period. That's crazy. That's messy.

[Jamila]

Immediately.

[Mecca]

That's even a bit too messy for me. And I'm a messy ass bitch.

[Jamila]

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's.

[Mecca]

That's crazy.

[Jamila]

And you're liable for ass.

[Mecca]

Know where you live. If Catherine wanted to run up on your house girl, she had with the head well within her rights.

[Jamila]

And out she. She's well within her right. Cause you condone beating the bitch ass.

[Mecca]

Cause that's a whole issue.

[Jamila]

Usually I would not say beat the bitch ass in this situation, but because the bitch know you and y'all run in the same circle, you now get full authority to whoop her ass.

[Mecca]

Because that's the whole thing. Why they won't get up off Brene Neck. It wasn't that you fucked that lady husband. It's that you knew that lady. Yeah. You ain't gotta be the lady's friend. And you too. It's too close. Cause even if it's just a lady, you know, from the grocery store and you say once a week, I would even be like, whoa, that's. That's out of pocket. But okay, y'all, y'all, now. Now it's clicking. Oh, we've been in the same space. We go out together. We're in a group chat. Brianny and Jazz probably been at that lady house. That's what I'm saying. She probably know where she lives.

[Jamila]

Oh, you dead wrong, bitch.

[Mecca]

You done seen these people. Dead wrong, girl. Brianny, you gotta go to hell. I hope you send this to her. You send this to her. You send this to her and you send it to Catherine. To Catherine. You are amazing, loving woman. You gonna be all right. Fuck these bitches. And damn near Angela, you might have to choose up girl. I don't know, Catherine. Because Katherine will also be well within her rights at this point to be like, if you friends with that bitch, I don't fuck with you. Katherine would be absolutely in her rights and well within her rights to do that.

[Jamila]

Absolutely.

[Mecca]

I mean, that's why. Good luck. Good luck. Because that's what I would do.

[Jamila]

Good fucking love, bitch.

[Mecca]

That's your friend, girl. Fuck you and her and him. Fuck all y'all.

[Jamila]

We're gonna take a break.

[Mecca]

And we're back.

[Jamila]

We are going to read some of your comments that y'all leave us on various platforms. We absolutely love this part. So we get to hear Yalls thoughts of the episodes and how you're liking the podcast so far. So please be sure to leave your comments and we'll be sure to read them online. If we don't read them online, we'll read them anyway because we love to hear Yalls thoughts and opinions. So let's get into it.

[Mecca]

These are from Apple and Gab Szvd said. Love them. Listening to y'all puts me in a good mood. Oh, listening to y'all yap puts me in a good mood. I love smart and funny women. Thank you so much. As a yapper, that warms my heart. Morgan, Nicole. Sparkly emoji said favorite podcast. Absolutely love the podcast, which is no surprise because you ladies are two of my favorite creators on TikTok. Every Thursday morning I'm in the car dying and talking to y'all like y'all can hear me. Love you guys. Oh my God. Love you too, Morgan.

[Jamila]

This is from Jerrel Wat. This is from Jerrell Walton Mecca clocking Shakespeare with this wet and wavy half wig and Jameela proclaiming him to be a femme top has warped my mind. Shake my head. I see him writing his plays, twirling that hair and just knowing he ate that other playwright.

[Mecca]

Girly girl sure did.

[Jamila]

Exactly how successful. This is from Shay. This is from Shay. As someone who tried the new wave Christian churches, most are operated like cults. I spent my college years in new wave non denominational church. I'm so glad I had the Spirit of discernment to get out of there. I couldn't ask questions or challenge the authority of the pastor while preach what you want, diversity and inclusion. But when a POC is telling you that if that's what you want, you need to change things things up. I got essentially excommunicated for being loud and black. No shade. But baby, going to a white church should have told you that.

[Mecca]

Girl.

[Jamila]

You didn't even. You didn't need a girl. What you doing going to a white church that like going to a white church is like step five in white supremacy.

[Mecca]

I don't think that there's nothing a white man can tell me about my afterlife. I don't have no interest in none of that. And I mean, sorry that that was why y'all stand Joel Osteen. Not interested. Not.

[Jamila]

There's no way. You have a good spirit.

[Mecca]

Not interested. Baby.

[Jamila]

I'm sorry, y'all, but I just had to say that. This is from Nairi Jamila. Give Change Church a try. It's in Duluth, but you do have to get there a little bit early to park and get a seat. No.

[Mecca]

Maybe we'll go when I'm in Atlanta. You know, I like a good. I like a good church service. Brooke is the spicies.

[Jamila]

Whatever. I think Tabitha shouldn't have said anything about the boycott just yet. I feel like the Target boycott wasn't even really decided. Just an idea. I was planning on just supporting those black owned businesses via their website, but I wasn't aware Tabitha didn't have her line before Target. I understand why she wanted to speak on it so early. Now supporting those businesses, businesses via their website, if they have one, is more reasonable than asking them to pull their brand from Target. True tea. True tea. Al says Mecca, please. When Palestine was happening. It's almost like you use the word as an adverb. That's a whole country.

[Mecca]

My apologies.

[Jamila]

You know, the whole. The old Palestine mech is just from around the way y'all forgive her.

[Mecca]

She's just ghetto. We shorten things. We were talking about Black Lives Matter and I did say I meant the Palestinian genocide that was happening. I know you guys are very strict about these things and I'm not always politically correct.

[Jamila]

Mecca's just a black girl from Sacramento. Give her a break.

[Mecca]

Guys, I said free Palestine. Genocide is bad. It doesn't matter where it's happening. It's happening all over the world. It's not. Okay, guys, shout out to Palestine though by land, by sea, Palestine will be free. Oh, Kayla said I Agree. With so many points y'all made, I had one to add. As I've been thinking about this since seeing Tab's video and reading more about the rollbacks, I do think that to the point of Tab and the other business owners who, you know, I'm blind as shit. Hold on. Business owners who really don't have the resources to survive a boycott. I don't understand why pooling resources and crowdfunding to support so we can protest it hasn't been suggested, especially by those trying to encourage folks to keep shopping at Target instead of boycotting. The AP did an article about it and highlighted that despite Target still committing their 50k to their 50k to for twin City Pride, once they informed the nonprofit they'd be rolling back the dei, Twin City made the decision not to take the money and went to their community instead. They were able to raise almost 100k and replace Target's money and then some. That's a really good suggestion. I wouldn't have even thought about that. But you know, on the last episode we had someone who was actually like a organizer and a planner. And I think that taking advantage of people who really do this for a living and are really knowledgeable because, like, we're just spitballing out ideas here, like on TikTok. But there are people who do this for a living and I think platforming events. Yeah, always look to them, platforming them and really listening to them because oftentimes when they're talking, people boo them because they're very realistic about timelines. Because remember that person said this is something that can take months, even years to like execute properly. People don't want to hear that, you know, everything's about a quick turnaround. So I think being more cognizant of that and really listening to what the professionals have to say, because this is a good idea. And I wouldn't. I didn't even know that was like an option. Okay. Ayanna3175 said the religion portion Chef Kiss I literally have been the one questioning since a child and as I've gotten older because of what I've been told or told to believe, it never made sense. And a few people I know are super Christian and sometimes I find myself asking, is it me when I see them repost something religious and I don't believe or agree. Yes, I go to. Yes, I do go to church and I let my pastor down. But I can't bring myself to be a part of a religion that people do things in which. In which Said religion is against great episodes. Cousins love y'all down. That's super fair. Cause you know one thing about the church, them niggas be in there fucking, but wanna talk about everybody else. Child, them drummers be trying to fuck you.

[Jamila]

Fuck you.

[Mecca]

Fuck you. Some of them fuck good too. I can't tell y'all how I know that, though. Sin Lenthia Nicole. Wait, Sin. Oh, Cylinthia. Cynlinthia. Oh, I like that. Cynthia Cole said the quotables in this episode alone need to be in the end of the year recap. Jameela and the you atheist satanist bitch had me cackling out loud. The religious point of the episode was very well done. Thank you. Thank you. See you. CYU band said we have to bring gay back to the church, please. And then just Quiana said a barbecue could actually be a cute little event. Oh, yes, like a Barbie themed barbecue.

[Jamila]

I saw that comment.

[Mecca]

I saw the other comments about people being like, oh, yeah, Mecca is saying barbecue. Excuse me. I just like a cutesy little barbecue. I had some barbecue when I was in Dallas too. It was pretty good. Some good brisket. Well, Jamila, are you looking into the camera? What are you. What are you doing? Are we done?

[Jamila]

Yeah, I was gonna say you just stop.

[Mecca]

You just stop. You texting the, you know, done with the podcast.

[Jamila]

I'm so disillusioned.

[Mecca]

We recorded a double episode today. I know it. You might could tell, like, we're at the tail end of this. We just simply changed outfits. But thank you guys for listening.

[Jamila]

Sometimes when I get disillusioned, my eyes start to separate like a chameleon.

[Mecca]

You go cockeyed eyes do that too.

[Jamila]

So I kind of had to knock them back into place and be back regular, period.

[Mecca]

Well, don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, keep up with us and we'll see you guys next time week. Happy Valentine's Day and subscribe to the page.

[Jamila]

Oh, yes.

[Mecca]

Shameless plug. Shout out to everyone who has subscribed to the Patreon in the last month since we started it. Like, y'all are so lit. We are pumping content out and y'all, we hit 400. I know we hit 400 subscribers. Y'all are really engaging with us too. Like, you know, when we were first getting subscribers, people were like, kind of hesitant. But now I'm seeing, like, people commenting. We have been putting out videos every other day. We actually need to record our insecure rewatch video still. And we're just really having fun with it. So thank you guys. So much for your support. The link is in both of our link trees. It's $3 per month, and you know the price of the coffee. I don't know.

[Jamila]

Mm. It's so low, you'll forget about it. Exactly. But thank you guys so much for another episode, and we'll see you next time.

[Mecca]

Bye.

[Jamila]

Unhinged and Immoral is hosted by Jamila Bell and Mecca, produced by Melissa D?

[Mecca]

Montz and Diamond Imprint Productions.

[Jamila]

Post production by Coco Lawrence, production assistant.

[Mecca]

By Melanie D. Watson, music by Adi.

[Jamila]

And Brooklyn Billionaires, and graphics by Claudia Choi.