You Don’t Know Who’s Watching You Feat. The Lavelle Show

Summary

Podcast Summary: Unhinged & Immoral - "You Don’t Know Who’s Watching You" Featuring The Lavelle Show

Release Date: June 12, 2025
Hosts: Jamila Bell, Mecca Evans
Guest: Lavelle from The Lavelle Show

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1. Navigating Life in Los Angeles

The episode kicks off with a lively discussion about the unique atmosphere of Los Angeles and its impact on their social interactions and public personas. The hosts express the excitement and challenges of living in a city synonymous with celebrity culture.

Lavelle (01:39):
"Cause it has a different air, you know, it's just a different frequency here."

Mecca (01:55):
"Yes, it does."

The conversation delves into their experiences of casually bumping into celebrities and the nuances of name-dropping in such an environment.

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2. The Reality of Being Watched

A significant portion of the discussion centers around the constant scrutiny that comes with being public figures. The hosts share anecdotes about unanticipated encounters and the pressure of maintaining their online personas.

Mecca (03:25):
"You never really know who's watching. You really never know."

Lavelle (03:12):
"I love that. This feels long overdue."

They highlight the unpredictability of fame, emphasizing that anyone could be watching or influenced by their actions online.

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3. Handling Online Criticism and Controversy

The hosts candidly discuss the challenges of dealing with negative comments and controversies. They stress the importance of not feeding into negativity and choosing when to respond or ignore backlash.

Lavelle (08:28):
"Honestly, I don't give nobody the time of day. And that is just something that I feel like, you know..."

Jameela (09:14):
"If you show up authentically yourself, you don't have to."

Lavelle (09:34):
"Sometimes everything doesn't need a reaction. It really does."

This segment underscores their strategies for maintaining mental well-being amidst online hostility, advocating for grace and selective engagement.

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4. The Power and Pitfalls of Authenticity

A key theme is the balance between staying true to oneself and adapting to professional environments. The hosts explore the concept of authenticity in the digital age and its impact on personal and professional relationships.

Mecca (22:14):
"You bitches don't know much about that."

Lavelle (22:48):
"We are voices. Y' all are listening to us."

They discuss the fine line between being genuine and the expectations placed upon them as influencers, highlighting the societal pressures to conform.

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5. Brand Collaborations and Fair Compensation

The conversation shifts to the creator economy, focusing on the importance of fair compensation for black creators. They critique the industry's tendency to underpay and advocate for valuing their influence appropriately.

Lavelle (38:52):
"I am not posting for a brand lower than five figures. You can do the math."

Jameela (39:31):
"That is important to say that."

This segment emphasizes the necessity for creators to assert their worth and demand equitable treatment from brands, highlighting systemic disparities.

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6. Code-Switching and Persona Management

The hosts delve into the complexities of code-switching and managing public personas. They reflect on how adapting their communication styles for different audiences affects their authenticity and personal identities.

Mecca (45:00):
"Cause, like, if you know me, you know my mama is a talented tit. We don't act like that black person."

Lavelle (47:21):
"That's my first brand trip. After that I went on six and the following six."

They share personal experiences of altering their behavior to fit professional settings, discussing the emotional toll and the necessity for maintaining a separate public persona.

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7. Impact of Fame on Personal Relationships

Exploring the intersection of fame and personal life, the hosts discuss how their public status influences their interactions and relationships outside of their online presence.

Jameela (57:06):
"I'm definitely... I am not shying away from who I am."

Lavelle (60:00):
"What makes me feel like our job as creators with these big platforms. Hundred thousand views, 200,000 views, 300,000 views."

They highlight the challenges of keeping personal life private and the strain fame can place on familial and romantic relationships.

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8. Spinach Segment: Navigating Family Conflict Over Sexuality

In the "Spinach" segment, Jamila receives a heartfelt message from Jasmine, a 20-year-old bisexual Black college student facing familial conflict regarding her younger brother's sexuality.

Jasmine's Account:
Jasmine describes an argument with her sister and brother-in-law over her 14-year-old brother possibly being gay. Her family holds strong religious beliefs, leading to a tense family meeting where her sister's husband made derogatory remarks.

Advice from Hosts:

Mecca (75:46):
"First of all, I'm a bit triggered by the family meeting."

Lavelle (76:05):
"You need to talk to your mom... your brother's safety is there."

Jameela (82:37):
"It's important though. Like I know we definitely had uncountable family meetings and conversations..."

The hosts provide compassionate advice, emphasizing the importance of supporting and protecting the younger brother while navigating difficult family dynamics. They suggest establishing ground rules for meetings, focusing on empathy, and maintaining open communication channels to ensure the brother feels supported regardless of his family's stance.

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9. Final Thoughts and Encouragement

As the episode concludes, the hosts offer words of encouragement to both their guest and listeners facing similar challenges. They reiterate the importance of community support, self-empowerment, and maintaining authenticity amidst adversity.

Lavelle (90:13):
"Keep your head high, man. What you guys do is hard."

Jameela (91:30):
"Thank you. Productions, post production by Coco Lawrence..."

The episode wraps up with a reaffirmation of their commitment to fostering a supportive and honest dialogue within their community.

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Notable Quotes

• Lavelle (03:12):
  "I love that. This feels long overdue."

• Mecca (09:14):
  "If you show up authentically yourself, you don't have to."

• Lavelle (38:52):
  "I am not posting for a brand lower than five figures. You can do the math."

• Jameela (82:37):
  "It's important though. Like I know we definitely had several uncountable family meetings and conversations."

• Lavelle (90:13):
  "Keep your head high, man. What you guys do is hard."

---

Conclusion

In this episode of Unhinged & Immoral, Jamila Bell and Mecca Evans, along with guest Lavelle, explore the intricate balance between public persona and personal authenticity. They address the pressures of fame, the importance of fair compensation for creators, and the challenges of navigating family dynamics in the face of adversity. The heartfelt "Spinach" segment provides actionable advice for listeners dealing with similar familial conflicts, underscoring the podcast's commitment to addressing real-life issues with honesty and empathy.

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For more engaging discussions and unfiltered takes on trending topics, subscribe to Unhinged & Immoral and tune in every Thursday!

Transcript

[Mecca]

The new McCrispy strip is here. Dip approved by Ketchup. Tangy barbecue, Honey mustard, honey mustard, Sprite.

[Lavelle]

McFlurry, Big Mac sauce, double dipped in buffalo and ranch. More ranch and creamy chili. McCrispy strip dip now at McDonald's.

[Jameela]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.

[Lavelle]

With the price of just about everything going up, we thought we'd bring our prices down. So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing Mint Mobile unlimited premium wireless.

[Mecca]

Better get 30, 30, better get 30.

[Lavelle]

Better get 20, 20, 20 better get 20, 20, everybody 15, 15. Just 15 bucks a month.

[Mecca]

So give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three months. Plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks.

[Lavelle]

Busy, taxes and fees extra.

[Jameela]

See mintmobile.com going in that cash talk. Walk in the booth like Naomi on the catwalk and tell them whoop whoop from the Jaguar. It ain't even right though Push me and I might go, she ain't getting money. I'm like, what the hype for when the bitches bite Flow make my appetite go poof.

[Mecca]

Gone.

[Jameela]

Voila. Magic looking mad good just to pull. What's up, y' all? Welcome back to another special, special special episode of Unhinged Jamar. I am Jameela.

[Mecca]

And I am Mecca. And we have.

[Lavelle]

Friend.

[Jameela]

Hey, friend.

[Lavelle]

They got Fred on the couch.

[Mecca]

I know he's sitting in the middle because he's our special guest today.

[Lavelle]

I love that. This feels long overdue.

[Mecca]

I'm so excited to be here.

[Jameela]

I'm so excited. We're in la, Los Angeles.

[Lavelle]

Come on. What's humping grounds now?

[Jameela]

Listen, I feel like I'm a celebrity. I. I'm a list. I'm Tom Cruise, I'm in Hollywood.

[Lavelle]

Cause it has a different air, you know, it's just a different frequency here. And I always explain that, especially cause I'm in the middle of a move right now and they see the rent price and all this, but I'm like, you gotta understand, to bump shoulders with the right people, you gotta play the game. And LA just being here feels like playing the right game.

[Mecca]

Yes, it does.

[Jameela]

Honestly. We were just at dinner with someone yesterday and they're just casually just name dropping people. They were just bumping shoulders with them.

[Lavelle]

I wanted to LA Peep's favorite thing to do. I want a bump shoulder.

[Mecca]

I was like an hour ago I was with this person and I was like, oh, this part says, so anyway, what y' all trying to do? I said, I'm trying to do all the things. Trying to bump shoulders.

[Lavelle]

Okay.

[Jameela]

That's what I'm trying to do.

[Lavelle]

This is the thing, though. When you bumping into Oprah Winfrey at the coffee shop, I feel like everybody can just name drop. So I have to watch myself when doing it. You know, I like to be like, oh, Lady Gaga follows me on TikTok. I'm like, Lavelle, shut up, please.

[Mecca]

That's too cool, though.

[Lavelle]

100%.

[Jameela]

It definitely can come across. I feel like it's the way you say it always. It's like a. You can say, but you can, like, you know, I feel like it's still, like, super cool. And I am. I'm a fan girl. One thing about me, I'm gonna give you a tense. I'm like, I have to get this off really quick. I'm a fan. Can I just say that I love you? Like, I have to do that. Cause it's like, my gosh, I really am such a fan at heart.

[Lavelle]

And I am just the total opposite, baby. Unless it's Beyonce, you probably won't get much out of me. I just am not impressed by a TikTok about this.

[Mecca]

Talking about how I only fangirl over people who are very nostalgic and who I really followed in my childhood. So we happened to meet Cleo Thomas yesterday.

[Lavelle]

I seen that. There you. Hello, girl.

[Mecca]

That was. I'm usually a lavelle, but I had to be like, Roll, Bounce was me and my brother's movie.

[Lavelle]

Come on, Roll, Bounce.

[Mecca]

And then, mind you, I had made a video about him a few years ago. He knew who I was. Gagged me, gagged.

[Lavelle]

I said, you never really know who's watching. You really never know.

[Jameela]

Yeah, that's been what's insane. What's crazy is when we had got here, we went to dinner with one of my friends who lives out here. And we were just casually talking. And I was like, you know, we've definitely, like, been getting noticed when we got outside. But, you know, I'm in la, so I don't think that's gonna happen. Cause it's like, they're used to, you know, real people.

[Lavelle]

There is real people. Wrong.

[Jameela]

The very next place we went to, it happened. I said, bag me bad.

[Mecca]

Mind you, we're in Ross.

[Jameela]

I said, whoa.

[Lavelle]

I said, her favorite spot. Okay. I should have known.

[Mecca]

Lord, you really be in here? I said, I really do.

[Lavelle]

I was about to say, especially when you're In a place I say like where my Target demo is. Cause LA is very like, this is the thing about that part too. They all, oh, and I don't know if I love it or hate it. They just won't interrupt you. They'll stare, they'll follow you. Like in the grocery store, you know, that's my specialty. So if I'm in like a store that I'm known for, but I gotta.

[Mecca]

See what lavelle get what you picking at, right?

[Lavelle]

But they don't speak unless you in like your Target demo spots. Like if I'm at a day party where I know this is gonna be my peeps or like certain areas. But yeah, they still be really wish washy. So when I go to a place like Atlanta, I'm like, oh, wait a minute. Okay. Shout out to the Atlanta friends. I love Atlanta down.

[Mecca]

That's why I like the South. Yeah, they don't play all Exactly. I love you.

[Lavelle]

Okay, Which I picture which I prefer. I'd rather you not follow me around and be weird.

[Jameela]

And yeah, yeah, like, girl, you was.

[Lavelle]

Just watching my TikTok.

[Mecca]

I know you a cool, but I still be.

[Jameela]

I be trying to play it cool. Cause I just have this thing where it's like, imagine they're like, don't I know you from somewhere? And you try to be, yeah, you probably know me from TikTok. You're like, oh no, bitch, I don't know you from shit. That ain't it. But actually, bitch, I owe you an.

[Mecca]

Ass for you know what's crazy? Like, oh, I feel like people do that a lot with the do I know you from somewhere? And see, my problem is I play into it. Well, I went to Hampton and I.

[Jameela]

Lived in the gym. I'm like, you in the car in Atlanta. I don't know. And I'm like, I don't know.

[Mecca]

I will sit there and ask you all the questions down till we get to TikTok. And you just go ahead and say it.

[Lavelle]

Well, we all agree on that. Because I'm also like, I don't know. I'm from Chicago, you know, what's your last name? And then as soon as they done with the whole like cat and mouse thing, they like, I know what it is. I'm like, and what is it? What is it, girl? What is it? Yeah, I am on TikTok.

[Mecca]

Yes. That is where you see me. Unfortunately for me, that happens so often, specifically with them J5 men. Because, you know, boys with us, specifically, the boys don't like to come up to us and speak like, girls are a little different. The opposite. No, girls are a little different, but the men, they have to have a. Unless they trying to pop at you.

[Lavelle]

Child, let me sip my Drake on.

[Jameela]

Boys are divas.

[Mecca]

They are. And they don't be knowing you. You be thinking like, oh, I'm not trying to.

[Lavelle]

They know y' all.

[Jameela]

I think men have this. They're like, almost. It's like a little bit of ego. It's like, I ain't gonna go up to you. Like, tight shit, tight shit. All right, nigga. Like, okay, cool. So it'd be a little bit of that, but they. They'll stare you down. And I was literally at a house party, like.

[Mecca]

Like, I was at a house. And. And the man stood across from me.

[Lavelle]

Oh. See?

[Jameela]

He was like, where I know you from?

[Mecca]

And I'm. When I did the thing, I said, well, I've lived in Houston for five.

[Lavelle]

Years doing the whole run of.

[Mecca]

And he said, you the J5 girl.

[Lavelle]

I said, j Pop, girl, is because you got so many niches. You really.

[Mecca]

Girl, you have so many times.

[Lavelle]

The Shade five girl.

[Mecca]

And I literally told him, I said, I really want y' all let that video die. Because I made that video when I was like, 22. Like, I realized I'm. And then I don't know if y' all realize this. This past year, I actually re uploaded it because they won't let it die so much. It was getting pixelated with all the.

[Lavelle]

Premise of the J5 video. Again, what you say in the video?

[Mecca]

During my era, that used to be as J5. My way into something. So I don't send Happy Birthday text messages. I don't sing Happy New Year, but I will wish you happy Founders, you know, shout out to you. I will do that.

[Jameela]

You know, I do know. I know a few minutes.

[Lavelle]

I remember now. You know, the straight men love to tell me. Oh, especially when it's organic, which is another.

[Jameela]

You know what?

[Lavelle]

Shout out to the straight friends. You know, I'm very aware, too.

[Mecca]

Sing Valentina.

[Lavelle]

They'll come and they be like, man, bro, I just want to tell you, my girlfriend love your video. Do you too.

[Jameela]

And you'll be right there.

[Lavelle]

Be honest. I would Love me too. I think it's just the funniest of. Okay.

[Mecca]

You give honest, like, reviews on food and stuff. So it's like, if you like that type of content.

[Jameela]

Yeah. What.

[Mecca]

What oysters? What oysters do I need to get?

[Lavelle]

Okay. So I just find that always so funny. And if I'm with Big girl. He'll look at me like. And I'm like, girl, tell your girlfriend I say hi. Exactly.

[Mecca]

Exactly.

[Jameela]

So speaking of oysters, uh.

[Mecca]

Oh, that transition was crazy, girl.

[Jameela]

You know, in this space, yeah, it comes with a certain eye, right? And I feel like it creates this, like, almost platform to where people want to knock you down. And so how are you navigating this space, being that, you know, some things can pop off, and sometimes you have to respond and sometimes you don't. Like, how has that been for you?

[Lavelle]

Y' all know this about me in real life, I'm not giving nobody the time of day. And that is just something that I feel like, you know, shout out to the queen, Beyonce. She really told me, like, the best revenge is your paper. Always stay gracious. I don't think people realize how much I also get my fair share of controversy because. And this is nothing to y' all, but you know, y' all. Y' all like, hey, and let me tell you something really quick. My motherfucker right with me. I'm like, oh, girl, that comment was so shady. Or, oh, you really tried it. Or the videos that they be making about. I don't know, it just doesn't. It doesn't make or break me. So I think that's also how I stay out of so much of it. Cause it's like, girl, you can feed. I don't delete comments. I'm like, it's gonna stay there, but you ain't getting much out of me. And I think, honestly. And I tell y' all this, too, sometimes everything don't need a reaction. It really does.

[Mecca]

In that group chat. I know y' all act like y' all don't like Lavelle's in that group chat as well.

[Lavelle]

I am in the group chat. It be juicy Boots. I go in there like I'm about to go read a book, and I just go.

[Mecca]

And he don't say, just lurking.

[Lavelle]

Cause, baby, if that group trap ever leaked, Lavelle won't be nowhere to be found. Ok? Because we be talking about some things.

[Mecca]

And I'll say it to y' all face.

[Lavelle]

Nine times out of ten, y' all done already said it on live. And that is now. That is true about them, y' all.

[Jameela]

If you show up authentically yourself, you don't have to.

[Mecca]

You bitches don't know much about that.

[Jameela]

You know, no shade, all shade, all shade, actually.

[Lavelle]

Cause that's the thing, too. And we laughed about this. When people be like, that's not his real voice. Da, da, da, DA. There is 100% a whole other side of me that I don't have to share and that I consciously don't share. Like, I really have made a conscious decision for my platform to be a space where it is. The Lavelle show. We gonna eat, we gonna lay, we gonna kiki, we gonna keep it moving. I find that. Ooh. Cause sometimes I can also take it a little too far. I'm like, this may have been a funny comment to you, but I'm gonna wreck your whole little situation if I reply. So I just learned to leave it alone. I really do. I feel like that's best for me.

[Mecca]

We're getting better with that.

[Lavelle]

You both are. We are.

[Jameela]

Yeah.

[Lavelle]

I'll give you your kids on that.

[Mecca]

Thank you. We're getting better because then when I.

[Lavelle]

First met y' all, I was like, oh, they. They. They cuts up. They cut up. But then they started, you know, no shade really started cutting up in them brand deals and them opportunities and the things. And you understand that it's a different game when you're on that side.

[Mecca]

To your point about Beyonce, I feel like. And I've said this in the group chat, if you were lurking, probably was. I just have been. Especially this last. This last cycle of hate. I have been really following her playbook just because it's, like, for me, it has led to so many opportunities. Like, specifically y' all saying this about me because I'm not a bad person. And if a brand or someone goes to my page, they're gonna see, like, maybe this was taken out of context and they're mad. But then you see the rest of the content, and it's not giving that. It's not giving Mean Girl. It's not giving all the things y' all are saying. So it's making it. So it's putting more eyes up, like, positive eyes. It's being flipped into, like, a positive situation, so then you really start to understand. And then also, y' all know I've been reading the matriarch Ms. Tina. That book is a blessing from God above. Oh, my God. Literally changed my life. Like, I'm not even trying to be dramatic. Changed my life. And I feel like I was reading at the exact right time of, like, oh, my God. It seems like every time I say something, people get mad, but then it's like, I'm reading Ms. Team. Like, work harder. You know, don't pay attention to them. Do what you supposed to do. It'll always come back to you. And I'm like, wow.

[Lavelle]

Yeah. My new thing too with dealing with all of this. The only thing that I really struggle with when it comes to replying, you know, you can crack a joke in Kiki. And I feel like a lot of times y' all, sometimes y' all shade is a little too far to me too. And I wanna say that on record. The whole colorism thing, I don't think that's a fun thing to really play about. Especially, you know, knowing y' all in person. I'm like, ooh, that is so far off. Or you know, the mean girl thing. And my new one. Even right now, like, even right now, if you go to my last two posts. Cause I'm in the middle of moving. As I shared. It is all like, uh oh, you're becoming unrelatable. When I get my teeth done, uh oh, you're becoming more unbelatable. That's something that I think I really. After I addressed the teeth thing, you know, I don't address much, but after I addressed that piece, I also understood, like some things you can't change the narrative on.

[Mecca]

You can't.

[Lavelle]

Some things it's like, well, lavelle, you do stay in a XYZ and you do do. If people find that unrelatable, this is something I can't change that about it either. And that's. I think the only struggle piece that I be having sometimes in days is like we'll say growing pains cause being in this. And I don't know if you guys can relate, but I'm sure you can. You also learn, you also get better. Being in constant PA public eye, constantly picked apart. It's just that very thin line. I feel like I've been walking right now to also translate that in my content in a way. Cause some things you can't let pass by is what I was getting at. Some things you gotta address, some things you gotta be like, now hold on. Okay, wait a minute.

[Jameela]

Definitely. And honestly, it is something you have to learn. And I think that I'm glad our little things have happened earlyish on and so we can figure that out. Figure out how to maneuver. Because I feel like the most recent, I guess controversy that I was involved and I think really took a toll on me mentally for the first time. I've never really had that perception of myself before. Even when I've had situations prior to that, when I'm like, I don't care. Cause it's like I know I'm just a, you know, whatever. But it was something about this most recent one that really got to me. Cause I'm watching people pick apart my personality. And who I am at my core is. I'm like, never did what I said. How did we get there? How did we get there? And I'm like, this is wanting to fight that. Wanting to, like, disprove every single person wrong who made those videos, who made those comments. Like, I wanna respond to every single comment and tell you, no, I'm not this. No, I'm not this. But it's like, it doesn't matter if I am or am I not. Cause y' all are just gonna think that's what I'm saying.

[Mecca]

And getting to that point where you have to, like, really accepting. Cause it's like, you know. But that spirit of acceptance of, like, it really doesn't matter what I say. Some of y' all don't fucking like me. You don't like me. And so there's nothing I can say that's gonna make you like me.

[Lavelle]

But I do wanna say this. And although I'm all messed up, I don't reply to comments. I don't do this. I don't do that one thing that I will say, especially being in it, it is easier said than done. And I'm shocked that I say that. Y' all gotta hear me. I am a Leo Boots. My chart is triple Leo. I'm all of the things. Yeah.

[Mecca]

I'm from Chicago.

[Lavelle]

Okay. The lavelle show name hasn't come from a place. I speak highly of myself. I believe in myself. I have the confidence that I feel like it's very necessary to walk in the type of doors and things that I go through. So when I went through my first big. Let's call it like, a little cancel thing on TikTok. Cause, you know, it comes in way. And it was something that I was really passionate about. I'm gonna give a quick blurb when the. Ooh. And I'm talking about this. Okay? Come on. Exclusive.

[Jameela]

Exclusive.

[Lavelle]

You know, I was really on the ground with the Harris campaign. And I don't think people really realize how much that really also is a big part of my identity. Like, I was really rooting for this. I really believed in this. And especially being someone. My minor's in political science. Like, I understand how important that moment was. So when she didn't win, someone who just left, Right. I was in Nevada, battleground states. They were sending me, and we were on the ground. I was devastated when she was out.

[Mecca]

I feel like a lot of people were.

[Lavelle]

I just couldn't even really describe it. And I have to be honest and transparent. Uh oh, this is a real couch. Come on.

[Jameela]

Come on.

[Mecca]

It was like, looking back on it.

[Lavelle]

It was definitely a crash out for me. And I don't crash out often. And I think I was so hurt. I was so hurt. And then the numbers came in. And then this is why I think people forget we're also human. We're human. That's creatives who find our outlet in our. That honestly have a platform that we feel like, okay, we're gonna make mistakes too. Anyway, I go to Starbucks, child, if you know Lavelle, I don't go to no place. That Target would never see me again. Starbucks still hasn't seen me. You know, those are things that are true to me. I played a part in the narrative. Some will say clickbait, looking back on it, maybe. And then I went on. The plan the whole time was to promote black business going back to the source, but just letting out a little frustration.

[Mecca]

Baby, they were mad at you. Oh, my God, they were mad at you.

[Lavelle]

It was something that I was like, okay, nothing can prepare you for this unless you're in it. You imagine, really. And I really want people to understand this, and I really want our friends to listen and hear this and really try to empathize with us not to cry like, oh, my God, we're so sad. I really think it come with the territory. I tell them this behind the scenes. They tell me this. Like, we all are aware of that. That's how we really can keep going. But if you're scrolling down, it's a for you page. If you're mentioning Lavelle, you're mentioning Mecca. You mentioned it. It's gonna come up on our for you page. And you see, like, yeah, I never liked him. It's okay.

[Jameela]

It's not a lie.

[Lavelle]

Oh, Kayla. But you wasn't ready for this. And it really took a toll on me as this confidently y' all. And that's something that I think get. I think people really forget that we're humans.

[Mecca]

I said this. I'm very thankful for our friend group simply because unless you know what it's like to have the Internet picking you apart, like, your entire being. I just. Unfortunately, not everybody get that. Y' all don't. We get what we talk about. But. But you need people to be like. To hold you up, to be like, no, a friend. I get it. It's hard right now. And sometimes you need that positive reinforcement, which is why when we talk about the group chat and Alexis Will be the same one she sends. What we've gotten good about and why the group chat has Honestly more active than any other time. Because we all are elevating. And instead of responding in public, we send it to that bitch. So a lot of that gets taken out with people who understand you're talking about me. And yeah, I feel a way about that. Sorry. But I'm going to talk my friend who gets it and cuss you out to her. And then we gonna bow going about a day. Because we ain't giving nobody 50,000 followers again.

[Jameela]

And I do mean, let me take another. You bitches will never get a chance.

[Mecca]

And if you ever wanted to. If you ever wanted to doubt the impact, bitches followed up. Cause they hate us. Clock that te. So 50,000 bitches hate me.

[Jameela]

That means 200,000. That was the part that was a little.

[Mecca]

And that was reality check. I'm not gonna hold you.

[Lavelle]

And I was like, okay, Nothing to anybody. But I'm just like me now, baby. I beef with these brands. Yes, I'm gonna do that. But when you. Y' all gotta think quick. Yeah, yeah.

[Mecca]

You know, but what I will give Jameela. And I said, you know what? When we were talking about it, just us as a unit, I understood. Because when I was seeing some of the comments, I said, a bad mother. Yeah. I understand why you felt the need to really get on that. Like, you don't know me. I don't put my child out there like that to even say that. And of course, that's going to spark a little something in someone.

[Lavelle]

Yes.

[Mecca]

But I do now take everything back to Beyonce. Cause what they talk about Beyonce's children. She ain't said nothing. Hello. They talk about Beyonce hair. I ain't say she talk about Beyonce Club. They don't say nothing to us.

[Lavelle]

I use it as a reference all the time.

[Mecca]

Yeah, it really is.

[Lavelle]

Cause it's going to happen. We are in the public eye now. And I really. I just don't take that for granted. I really don't. And I just don't. Also, baby, ain't nobody in 50,000 followers off this name. And I know that's going to come. You beef with me, baby, you gonna get the. You know, And I just. That's just the way this industry work. Especially with TikTok. Cause you just don't know who watching you. Don't know what they gonna feel like. Ooh, yeah, I wanna build this. It's a crazy game we be playing with. It really is.

[Jameela]

And you have to learn to not take the bait. And that was like my biggest lesson. Cause even after that, I've had moments where I've seen people attempting and I'm replicating and I'm not. You're trying exactly replicate what just happened. I'm not giving into that and I'm not taking the bait. I am ignoring the hell outta y' all. Y' all ain't getting shit from me but outfit of the day.

[Lavelle]

Oh, come on. Ootd.

[Jameela]

Hashtag jamilacandress.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take a break.

[Jameela]

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[Mecca]

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[Jameela]

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[Mecca]

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[Jameela]

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[Mecca]

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[Jameela]

With all the stuff that I have going on and then also being a mom, it's just too much to try to go to the grocery store and figure out what I'm going to cook every day. I feel like it just makes everything, everything so easy. And honestly, the food is pretty tasty.

[Mecca]

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[Jameela]

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[Mecca]

I ain't got nothing to say cause my shit's on the way But I just wanted to address that when that happened. Now you know everybody know I'm extra so when I made my little keke video I truly thought we was just kiki ing but they was adding you in it cause it was this night you went and they was like ooh, you talking about lavelle And I was like, lavelle and I are friends. Why would I. I'm not talking about anyone specifically, what are we talking about? And I feel like that was another moment where it was taken so far out of context. And then, you know how the wave shifts. The video comes up and people like, this is the video y' all was talking about. This is not. This is not what y' all said. She had said. And it got to the point where it's like, okay, well, apparently, everyone been thinking, I can't dress. I don't know.

[Jameela]

We all.

[Mecca]

It's fuck fashion Nova. Cause we all. And that what was getting me. I was going on y' all pages. And we in the same.

[Jameela]

I know that dress. I got that dress. And one thing about me, I'm gonna go to that profile every time I am, and it'll tell me some things how you see, I was trying to. I hate this bitch. That's why I blocked her three days ago. Me reading the comments.

[Lavelle]

Like, what? I also think, though, that's a blessing of y' all. And just like, even I played into that one. I'm like, it's an ecosystem. It's like, you guys are really voices in this, like, algorithm, you know? So y' all say, we can't dress. You did wonders on my get ready with me, baby. It's all a world. It's all crazy.

[Jameela]

It all works together. It's all world.

[Lavelle]

It really is.

[Mecca]

It's an ecosystem. And I think that understanding, like, however people try and downplay it, that we like. To your point, we are voices. Y' all are listening to us. But if you try and downplay. No, because I know for a certain Machiavelli say something that y' all don't like or you like. Now it's influencing what the whole for your page is talking about in the next couple of years so many times.

[Jameela]

So it's like. I mean, it's like, okay, well, let.

[Mecca]

Me eat that then.

[Jameela]

You're welcome.

[Mecca]

For the conversation. Thank you. Is this how Beyonce feels now?

[Lavelle]

Do y' all find yourself now in this present day, though? I'm curious, are you filtering more content behind the scenes? Do you watch videos back? Cause I don't think people really understand. But I'm g. Y' all a little inside scoop when I say these babies. Hey, Lavin. What's up, girl? What you got?

[Mecca]

I'll give you all flowers.

[Lavelle]

Da, da, da post. I'm a little different. Do y' all find yourself now these days, having to, I don't know, be More not. I don't. Strategic. Or are you in your mind a little more because of the things that the industry have now taught you and understand what is it like presently for y' all as yappers?

[Jameela]

For me?

[Mecca]

Oh, absolutely.

[Jameela]

Yes. I'm definitely. I am not shying away from who I am. I'm not dulling myself down for sure.

[Mecca]

Cause I.

[Jameela]

That's who I am. I can't not be me. I don't know how else to do that. But I definitely take a moment, a beat. A beat. Okay, Take that beat. And I think to myself, how can this be perceived even if I have good intentions? And then if I answer that question to myself, I'm like, okay, cool. And that's how I kind of go about it. Because I know that sometimes, even though I have yet to apologize for things that I've said, let's clock that. Which means I always mean what I say. I'm very adamant on the things that I put out in this. Why I have yet to have to apologize. But I know how things can create conversation, even though that wasn't your intention. So I think about that. And I'm also thinking about not in a like 40, 40, let me whiten myself up type of way, but a money type of way. I am absolutely trying to appeal to brands.

[Mecca]

Okay.

[Jameela]

In a different way. Because at the end of the day, this is my full time job. I do have to pay those bills.

[Lavelle]

Hello.

[Jameela]

And I do have a child.

[Lavelle]

Hello.

[Jameela]

I am hungry.

[Mecca]

Well, see, I don't have kids. We don't have the same. But for me, I definitely have. I've taken a beat in the same way, especially for those who've been following me since I moved to Houston and was in bottle service and was really turned. Was really crunk. And I've just seen even my followers have been not so much filtering myself, but also maturing. Also, when y' all met me, I was 24. I'm 29 now, so I shouldn't be the same bitch, bitch, you met me. Of course you get that from the lobe. It's like, I ain't finna say that. I ain't gonna say that. But you know what I'm saying? But on the flip. Cause this just happened today. That's why this past time I said y' all took that out of context. Cause you don't like me. Cause I definitely do think about, can this be taken out of context? Will y' all get the kiki? Because I don't want to be known for constant controversy. I'm not afraid of it. But I know that's not my intention. That's not even what I'm trying to do. I'm just trying to provide, you know, conversation with this money long situation. Especially when I'm talking about specific people at this point. Because you again, something I have found out is these celebrities be watching us talk about them, girl. And they be watching me. I know they watch me. The way I chose to address the her recent controversy, I did it. I didn't. I always bring myself into it. I try and make it a. I relate to this because it's hard to see bitches talking about you, especially as black people. When you see black women being like, fuck you, bitch.

[Jameela]

You stupid bitch. It stings.

[Mecca]

It stings. It really is different coming from your. I was gonna say, honestly, white people can't hurt my feelings no to this shit. But like, when you know, when the girl is.

[Lavelle]

Be it not at all, baby.

[Mecca]

You know, it just is what it is.

[Lavelle]

It just is what it is. I agree with that 100%.

[Mecca]

When she did her thing, I said, mm, I get it. And she ended up commenting like a heart emoji under my thing. But just the fact that she sat and watched it and received it let me know that I'm on the right track in terms of when I can still talk about that. I don't have to shy away from these controversial topics. But it's not always what you say, it's how you say it. And me saying, you know, when we're thinking about our haters are black, but our supporters are black too, because the entire audience is black. And it's hard to get that up out of yourself and to not take it personally. But when I see all the hater ass bitches talking about me, I remember it's 100,000 other black women behind them supporting me and holding me up. So I'm not gonna let Shaw make me say fuck black women or black women don't like me or she's loud, but they be loud.

[Jameela]

It'll distract you. And one thing I did after things kind of settled down from my little whatever, I wanted to see what it looked like to search for my name.

[Mecca]

I'm that girl and I'm just for y' all know, I'm the opposite. I don't like. I will go into Disney adult talk when y' all like. I don't never see shit, Jamie. I see shit because they sent it to the group chat.

[Jameela]

I completely disassociate. I actually do want to see everything. Cause I am just so curious. So what I did was I went to one of my other pages, there's a few. And I just typed in my name. Cause I just wanted to see what pops up. Cause I was worried that it would be nothing but like gutter. Just when you type in my name, it's I hate Jamila. I hate Jamila. I hate Jamila. So I was like, what does it look like when a brand comes and try to find me or somebody who's just, you know, someone across my page. Market research, right. And when I did that, when I tell you it was nothing bad really. And even if it was, I'm looking at the comments from a completely unbiased page because that's the thing that also will change. Like if you're looking from your page, you're gonn certain things. So I was like, you're okay, like you're okay. If you search my name right now, what's going to come up is my content, my impact. It's like, okay, like you have to calm down. Like it's not the end of the world. You're not done for it. Like, girl, you'll be okay and just move on. Like you just have to, you just have to move on. Like it just is what it is.

[Lavelle]

It's the part of it.

[Mecca]

But I mean even for you, I know you're in a different lane than us, but you can speak to the. There is something to be said about, you know, people who may be like, we grew our audience organically and it was a slow grind. It wasn't necessarily like overnight success. So something that I've noticed, like when we are in controversy or even with you, because they come, they be cussing me out of Lavelle and I be Kiki. And that's the whole thing. The art will be in the Lavelle. Damn near be in the comments. Kiki. And they be like, yeah, not too much, not that one. Hello. But when you take the time to like grow your audience and they feel like, you know, you win these controversies, like you're not gonna convince them to switch up on me because they've been watching me for years and they do know my character and they do know how I show up on a day to day basis because I make 17 videos a day. You know what I'm saying?

[Lavelle]

So for. What do you think about that? Lavelle? Yeah, I think I do depend on my friends for a lot. I think that's why even for me in like, okay, this was my new recent thing in this And I don't know how often y' all do it. I gotta pay attention. I'm not the best at replying to comments. You know, I will go and read the comments in one sitting. I cannot watch that stuff in real time. Cause it still gives me anxiety. You know, this is still a numbers game. So like. And just, you know, giving y' all more of, like, if we post a video, right? Especially someone like me. I'm not posting 17 times a day. You'll be lucky if I post twice a day. And just that number of things. Sometimes you can post and you know, like, ooh, this is about to do well. And that excitement creates. And then you wanna read the comments. So what I've. I've. I just stopped all of that. And the way I stop all of that is kind of like just saying, okay. And for this next hour, while this is live, we're just gonna kind of cut this out. But I really do depend on my friends, you know, to be in the comments as they do. They get people together when they come sideways. And I just. I agree. I think they've known me for so long, a lot of them have really seen me start from, like, you. When did I do 25. I'm 30 now. You know, I've been doing this for five years now, if my number's right. I hope so. They just. You got those loyal, loyal friends that don't play that. They show up in every video. And I think that also gives me the courage to kind of be myself. Like, girl, if you're taking it out of context, another thing I learned, you ain't really rocking with me. You ain't really one of the friends. And that's okay. Cause my friends gonna get you together and put you on the right track.

[Mecca]

And that's also something that we've learned and had to, you know, just sit back and let. Now you knew you was trying to be messy. And my homegirl gonna get you together. Cause I can't respond.

[Lavelle]

I can't do it.

[Mecca]

I can't do it.

[Lavelle]

It's just too much, Steve, to kind of do that. I'm not going. The community engagement piece, and it's something that I really like to do is I may throw a little shout or two in the video in the next.

[Jameela]

Day, like I like to.

[Lavelle]

And I'm a very casual, like, if.

[Jameela]

You missed it, you missed it.

[Lavelle]

I like to, like, you know, kind of like. Now, hold on, Let me address this real quick. Like that realtor who commented on my video and told me that I was two different people online and in person. And that I really posted a video for clout when I don't need nobody for clout. All I need is the Lavelle show. But this is stuff that happens, but I just ain't giving it life. I'm like, oh, Mr. Realtor, man, you ain't gonna even have that moment that you want to have right here on this platform. And then guess what happened. The friends got him together. He deleted the comment. It's just.

[Mecca]

So that's just how they play.

[Lavelle]

It's just gonna have always happened.

[Jameela]

Not available.

[Lavelle]

It's gone, baby. Or, you know, that's gonna be it. If I ever reply to a video, I feel like that always happens. Which shows again, too. People just want that attention. They just wanna feel like, oh, you see me? And I'm like, I actually don't.

[Jameela]

It happens all the time. It's like, you can always tell, especially actors. Cause it's like, oh, you don't have nothing else to talk about now. Cause I'm not giving you your moment anymore.

[Lavelle]

And this, to me, is all of. And I'm just gonna be honest. These are like the minute things. Unless it gets really big. And then you done took over the for you page like y' all do all the time. When people. Y' all know what I be really struggling with. I be struggling and arguing and fighting and going back and forth and boycotting these brands. Because, you know, on the opposite end of this, in my lane, that's where I really get played. Like, these brands still to this day continuously play me. And I was actually meeting with. Ooh, do I wanna say his name? I'm not gonna say your name, friend. But if you see this or this clip go around and then you wann, like, at yourself in it, add yourself. So the people know that it's true. We're talking about somebody with over 15 million followers.

[Jameela]

Oh, wow.

[Lavelle]

You know, so this is a big name. I'll tell y' all off camera. And we met over Memorial Day weekend. He came to my barbecue and everything. And we really had a time in the corner. And he said, you know, Lavelle, something that I really appreciate is, like, now I have black counterparts that are also in the space that I've been in for years. He said, back when I was in this, from 2019 on, there wasn't many of them. And so hearing that type of conversation, and then we went on to like, okay, and this brand works this way, and this brand worked that way. He was like, I just can't talk to somebody like this. Not in this space. It's really why I find what I do even more important. Because, you know, being the only. You know, I'm black and gay. I got a double whammy, baby. So it's really hard for me to get in these doors. So anytime I'm on, like a Whole Foods page, you know, anytime, a doordash, you know, whatever the big deals, we can go on and on over here. The Taco Bell, you know, I'm a.

[Mecca]

Taco Bell ass lady. I was tapped into that. You know, I be at Taco Bell.

[Lavelle]

I don't take those lightly. I don't play with my content. I don't come. My content is old. Nine times out of ten sharp, when you come back to me for feedback, if there's any, Those revisions will be done.

[Mecca]

Hello.

[Lavelle]

If you have a revision that I can't do, I will go and refilm a whole video by myself. Cause I understand. It was so hard for me to get in this room. If I mess up the other 10 people that's coming behind me, they really won't make it in. That's how small this industry for black creators. And that's why I think we take it more, like, offensive when, you know, we're the black creators. And then the black community is like, bashing us in the comments. And that's why they get hard. Cause it's like, God, we got the community and just the industry in general. And then also just really quick. And another thing that I feel like another thing I struggle with is that algorithm people don't understand. We are being suppressed. We are constantly being suppressed. Our views, the things that we say, the things that they want to monitor us to say. We can't say, oh, shut the fuck up, talking to me. But they can call us all kind of coons and n words and all. It's just something to really. I feel like we don't talk about enough. Anytime I get in, like, a space like this, I really try to let people see, like, that's the real stuff that we really should be dealing with. This should be so my new. Because we're really trying to open doors here. This industry, the money that I've seen and I've made.

[Jameela]

Amen.

[Lavelle]

I'm like, there should be more of us.

[Mecca]

You know what's crazy? The first controversy I got in with, I don't mind saying it. Finita. Cause we're cool now. That came behind her doing this same thing. And that's why it was so weird. That I got thrown in it. Cause I purposely. During that, when everyone was trying to bash her for saying this out loud, I never said nothing. It was the comments that got us fucked up and thought, you know, And I purposely. Before that, but even now, so I don't engage with negative comments. I've never. Especially if that's not the point of my video. Cause I don't want this person to come here and see things. So that's why that was such a crazy moment. Because what she was saying was valid. What you're saying is valid. And now we're at the point. Cause I know for me, at least, I have a business. You know what I'm saying? This was. And we talked about this last year at Essence when you. He's. Let me give you. Let me tell you this. Lavelle. One of the first people, if not the first person, who told me I need to take it seriously because I was just vibing. Even if people don't know this about the nosy trust trip, I didn't even respond to my little email. Alexis DM'd me and said, hey, you know, Stephanie, trying to get in to contact with you. Like, that's a real. Like, I wasn't even active on that thread because I was. This was fun for me. So I think that as a person who has just kind of watched and has more so eased in and is now seeing up close what y' all have been talking about in terms of how brands try and lowball us, where it's like, no, baby, I know and not. And also, I'm looking at my interview. I have a very engaged audience. They're active, you know, and we have to talk about conversion rates and percentage of people who are commenting it. Don't it be five times higher than our white counterparts.

[Jameela]

Listen.

[Mecca]

And we get five times less words about pulling.

[Jameela]

It's actually sickening when you look at the numbers. When I was just at the trending up conference, there was a moment, and it's interesting because this was all about how to step into advocacy as creators. And it was a great conference overall. Yeah, it was really good. Good. However, comma, there was a moment when a white creator was on stage and we were discussing how has it been stepping into more political advocacy working with brands. We already know that can be kind of sticky depending on where you, you know, lie on the aisle. And she casually mentioned, you know, there was a brand deal that she had that she had basically got let go of because she was a little too liberal. And we're like, okay. Damn. Type shot. Damn. But then she said that number. She said a brand deal offered her $100,000. When I tell you she said that.

[Mecca]

Set the room off immediately.

[Jameela]

I watched all of the blackheads in that building say, do this. A hundred thousand. I didn't hear nothing else. That lady said, girl, I'm so sorry to you, but the way we can't even. I can't even continue this conversation because it's like I want y' all to know that these brands will talk us down. Down from 2000. Down 2000 down easily 100k. Like, we're talking about numbers that. And I'm talking about. It's ridiculous because when you look at the black content creators pages that are really out here doing it, our numbers speak for itself. But not even just the numbers. The engagement, like Mekha said, that's the part that just takes me out the eye of some of these white creators page. And it's no cheat. No shit.

[Mecca]

All them likes.

[Lavelle]

No comments.

[Jameela]

No comments.

[Lavelle]

No shit. Nah, nah. It's just a different game. It's just a really different game.

[Jameela]

It's interesting.

[Mecca]

We're going to take a break.

[Lavelle]

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[Jameela]

And we're back.

[Lavelle]

You know, another thing too, and I just want to say that they are there. There is a good amount of black creators making a coin. Okay, I want to go on record in saying that because I know a lot of times we hear we don't get paid enough and da da da, da da. Oh, it's so hard to get in those doors. I want to tell y' all, ask somebody. I go tell y' all my rate. But to give me two posts because it needs to be heard. I am not posting for a brand lower than five figures. You can do the math. I've been very blessed to get to this point in my career.

[Mecca]

Wait, wait. No, no, no.

[Lavelle]

Do the math really quick. And I, I share that because one, I don't think enough of us are saying it, especially ones like me.

[Jameela]

That is important to say that.

[Lavelle]

I just don't think enough of us believe that that is possible or not enough of us is actually sharing it. And I get why, especially now. Oh my God. The out of touch from reality. Da da da da. Let me tell y' all something too. Money don't really make you out of touch. I don't care what nobody say. Money may make your life a little better if you really have. I am still with my same peeps. Ain't no new people running around. I don't let none of this go to my head. Cause I done been up and I'd have been down before. So the money thing is really not the unrelatable piece. But I also want to share this because I think what got me to this number and just a piece of advice to anybody who want to be a creator. And going back to your point about me telling you, like, I think you need to be taking this a little more seriously. The thing and the reason why I get to get that number is because one, there's not a lot in this space like me, but two, I have a strong niche you ain't finding outside of even the black guy. Not many are grocery shopping and doing the numbers and da da da da da. So when you creating this content, I always think about how I can charge a premium. That's why I get these five figure deals. And that's how you can get to that place, honestly in your career is by really making it so that when people think of, okay, Whole Foods wanna do a campaign, we kinda can't skip over this guy in this corner. That's how hard we gotta work now. Has it taken some. Has it taken four management teams? Yes. But it's something that I want everybody and this is just me giving a piece that if you do want to get in that content, it may not happen at first, second, third, fourth. Took me five years to really get to this number. But it's so possible. It really is. It just takes a little more than a black kid. And I had to share that because I really think that's important too. So people can look up to us and know like. And you know what, they're getting to.

[Mecca]

Their bag at the end of the day.

[Lavelle]

I don't know why that's a. Yeah, I see. So. Ooh, what is that? I'm sorry, White creator. What is that? White creator who does, like, he like busted the candle. How much brand in it?

[Mecca]

Brand Flex.

[Jameela]

Brand Flex, yes.

[Lavelle]

Loving his content down.

[Jameela]

I'm so glad he did that.

[Lavelle]

I think he gets to, you know, like, I feel like we should all be able to get away with it especially. Cause I think he Has a humble beginning.

[Mecca]

Like, that was his whole thing. Yeah, let us talk.

[Lavelle]

And I found that really inspiring. Cause I'm like, yeah. I also don't want to be that person at Gatekeep. Even when I got these teeth done, I'm like, it's just so I could have popped up and not told y'.

[Jameela]

All they look good. Yeah, they're done.

[Mecca]

They're the correct.

[Lavelle]

And they're not cheap and they ain't too bad.

[Mecca]

Drop the bag and fix my teeth.

[Lavelle]

So I've also had to make a conscious decision not to let them almost, like, silence me.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Lavelle]

Even down to, like, this house tour right now. We're going to really see the comments y' all gonna see right now in this real day. I just felt like, yeah, I feel like that's them trying to keep us in a crab in the barrel. We need to see, like, no people can get out the mud. Especially. Especially black people.

[Mecca]

But I feel like, you know, that's with any industry. Just if I'm thinking about the avenues that I was going and considering before I came at content creation, the pay disparages between white people and black people is always there. The crab. Like, that whole idea that, ooh, I don't wanna tell you how much that's always. That's in corporate. And if you've ever been a black person in corporate America, like, just think of it related in content creation. It's really the same concept. What we're saying is not. We're saying, pay me for my time because I know I'm worth it. And you're paying that white person over there who is three times worse than me.

[Jameela]

And that's why they encouraged us to not speak about our payments and stuff. Because they don't want. They don't want us.

[Lavelle]

There we go.

[Jameela]

They don't want us to know.

[Lavelle]

There we go. And they don't want the Lavelle coming behind them to understand, like, oh, and when I get to that number. Because right Now, Lavelle had 800,000 followers. His engagement was 21%. Okay. He was charging 10,000 plus per post. I can charge that. They don't want us to know that.

[Mecca]

They don't want you to know that. And it's doing a good job of.

[Lavelle]

Letting us gatekeep that.

[Mecca]

Yeah. And you know what's another thing that we have been very mindful just because, again, we were seeing this conversation happen before we got to the point where we were doing this. We have been. That's why we're. At least I know for me and Jameela, so hell bent on working with black brands. Because here's the thing. If you're low balling me, I know for us it be we just don't have the money, but we gonna pay you our budget and it is. I would much rather do that if I'm gonna be low balled. I would rather do that and know that you've given me your whole budget. Cause you know my impact. Than have you lowballed and give the next person who don't have the impact. I have 10 times what you gave.

[Lavelle]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I can't think of the one black brand that I've worked with, if I'm being honest. You know, and I also. And this is why I do y' all know this. I do black series all the time to highlight bright brands. Cause I also am aware, like, that's just so out of pocket. Like, you know, once you hitting those numbers that I shared the smaller black brands, I'm not really your target creator in terms of like, where I feel like you should be putting your resources into. So a lot of times too, like black brands email me a good amount too, and I'll say, okay, I want to. Can you just send me the product? Let's see if I have it and I'll post it and I'll do that. Those numbers are just so different now. When we think of like, what's some big black brands? Topicals.

[Jameela]

Topicals.

[Mecca]

Topicals.

[Lavelle]

That's a good one.

[Jameela]

That's probably like one of the biggest.

[Lavelle]

Okay. I feel like that's.

[Mecca]

That's one of the biggest.

[Lavelle]

It's far and few too, though. That's just another side of things that we can see as well. It's like. And also ain't that many for us to choose from. And then target, if you want to go and kind of like make it worse, you done kind of took all.

[Jameela]

Their, you know, it's look, it's layers to it.

[Lavelle]

It can go in so many ways. It can be related to so many industries. What makes I feel like our job as creators with these big platforms. Hundred thousand views, 200,000 views, 300,000 views. And I talk like this to them too. It is important that we don't let that get kind of like jade us in a way. It is important that we continue to use our platform. And that's why I think it's important in y' all yapping sessions that y' all also still have that cadence that y' all have, because y' all do be Talking about stuff that need to be said. That's why y' all be striking those chords. But it's all an industry. It all is an industry in a way that we're working through. We're navigating.

[Mecca]

You know, something that when I was working in corporate, I told myself I didn't. I naturally code switch, but I never wanted to code switch too hard.

[Lavelle]

Okay.

[Mecca]

You know what I'm saying? Because, like, if you know me, you know my mama is a talented tit. We don't act like that black person. But then my dad is like, from the hood, so I've always been quick on that. Da da, da da. Hello. But I never wanted to code switch so hard that I was now whitewashing myself. Because I know how easy that can get trying to work with certain brands. And so now being in the position that we are, I am just so more mindful of what you're saying. Like, talk your shit. Like, yeah, I'm talking for a brand right now. And I'm gonna put a little in my voice because that's, you know, and I'm gonna keep my hair big or whether I'm bald or like, whatever. It's giving. I wanted to give black girl.

[Lavelle]

Yeah. When I think about, like, code switching. Cause I am a code switcher, a very professional one at it too, I think. Let me give a bigger premise to like, code switching too, and the impact that that has on us as a culture. When I say code switching, you gotta think when you picking up the phone, you at your corporate job. Hey, how's it going? Lavelle speaking. You know what I'm saying? What's up, friend? And I think to me, especially something that I look back on, like in my. I don't even wanna name that grocery store if you know, you know, in that grocery store days, that was me really being whitewashed my whole life. I went to a Catholic school. Okay. I went to a Catholic university. Private, Catholic. I was the first student body president that had a two term as a black gay man. I was a vice president of. Of this university with the sister as a, you know, the president of it my sophomore year of it. You think that didn't impact me in ways where I felt like in order to be successful, I had to speak like, hey, how's it going, sister? You know, like. And I watched me do that in my content for years. I really did. And I watched me get an audience that I was like, oh, this not really what I want. I'mma tell you this, though. It has taught Me the importance of also having having a Persona in this industry. You know, I protect a lot of lavelle because I do kind of play into. He's a big part of me, you know, I can't help it. This is how I grew up. We all had to learn how to code switch. And when you really learned how to code switch and it really was your way. A surviving mechanism. And then that survival mechanism taught you and opened rooms for you and open doors. That's going to follow you. As it done with me, I had to come a long way to get to the place where now at our trip. After our trip. That trip was really a big holiday.

[Mecca]

I was gonna say essence. Shout out to nosy bystanders.

[Lavelle]

Shout out to nosy.

[Mecca]

By the way. Really life changing.

[Lavelle]

No, it really was. It truly was. That was my first brand trip.

[Mecca]

It was mine too.

[Lavelle]

That was my first brand trip. After that I went on six and the following six.

[Mecca]

I'm going to always say this. I have to give nosy Stephanie her tens. Because so many times when black people do now do what they supposed to do. Oh, black business. When I say that shit was together and we didn't have to ask for anything. She was sending the money, the flights. And shout out to Kev on stage because Kev did the same thing. I mean, two together. And I just. I'm always so big on giving black people their tens. Because when we. When we fuck up, y' all gonna get online and tell us we fucked up. So when we're doing good and it's. And it's organized and it's on time and it's all the things you can say with a lot of things. But them two situations have been very.

[Lavelle]

To the T. And the reason why they're important and just to wrap up the whole code switching conversation is a lot of times we gotta show them what we can do with that platform. After that first brand trip, again, you gotta imagine that brand trip was in July. For me to go on six brand trips after that. It's only been a year for the first black. You know, for my first brand trip to be from a black woman, you know, for nosy step to say, like, I believe in y' all, Go ahead and rock it. Us to rock it. And then get all that recognition. I that it deserves to just. It deserves to give you your flowers. Cause that was something so amazing and it's something that is so important within our community. I asking myself constantly, how can I be doing better at uplifting? How could I really be you know, changing the narratives that happen in this industry. And this is where I'm going with this. And I know we laugh at the code switching thing, but you also gotta play the game. And I'm just gonna be honest, and y' all may bite me off for this, but I do think sometimes, you know, not every brand is. Is you gotta be brand friendly, in my opinion, to really get to that big number that we already talked about. But what I am happy that I have found and going back to it after the trip and just in this present day is that. But also you can be authentic in that brand safeness. You can still talk with your twin. You can still be yourself. And I think that's what people be misconfusing. Like, although I may be talking like this, I'm still myself. Like, this is still me. This is still no shade.

[Jameela]

You said something that I really resonate with, which is find your Persona. And I feel like maybe that will attract to the black creators more than, like, the code switching. Cause I think we associate code switching with, like, whitewashing. But you really do have to have a Persona online. And, like, for me, a lot of people, they really misconstrue what we're seeing online. So you have this idea that you know us, but, like, if you actually go to my platform, I don't share really anything about my life. I don't ever talk about my life. And I think that's very. That's very intentional for me. And I've always been very intentional about that because I've always been very delusional in saying that I will be famous and I will be at this point. So I've always been very protective with what I share online because I know when I get to a certain level, you can always just go back and figure out, da, da, da. So I'd like to protect certain things, but, I mean, I love that you do that as well, because it can get you in a place where you're not ready to handle that. And I think I watch creators sometimes have to put pull back.

[Mecca]

Exactly.

[Jameela]

And it's like.

[Mecca]

And then that's a topic.

[Jameela]

Yeah, it's like, yeah, you didn't realize you talked to us about it.

[Mecca]

Now you were talking.

[Jameela]

It's like.

[Mecca]

And that has happened to me, too. When a few years ago, when I was first on there, I talked a lot about my dating life. And then it just cold turkey when I again, you get to that frontal lobe and you like, I'm 27. I don't want to talk about N. No more.

[Jameela]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mecca]

And I feel like you. You know, we both had people in our lives who we didn't talk about. You had Big Guy. I had little moms. Getting to the point where I realized, okay, this is a kid. And I be watching the way y' all talk about kids. And I'm from Sacramento. I'm crazy. You talk about this child under my page, and I'm gonna get my shit deleted. So I was really intentional on giving her a pseudonym. I did not say her real name on purpose. I did not show her face on purpose. And then even watching in Houston, when the things that even I said, it was like, I'd be like, oh, we look a lot alike. Like, she looks just like me. Like. Like, that's why it's so easy to call her my daughter. It got to the point where she was in high school and people are you little moms? And even then, I was like, fuck, I shouldn't have said that she looked like me, because that has now blown up her spot. I got my feelings hurt. One time she told me I couldn't come to the prep rally, to the little reward ceremony. She said, well, if you come, you ain't think I know who you are.

[Lavelle]

Yeah, it's because.

[Mecca]

And it's like. But, you know. But it gets to the point where you want people to have their own identity. And I signed up for this. You didn't sign up for that. And, like, I just know with you and Big Guy even experiencing it with you at homecoming last year when it was like, we were all very mindful.

[Jameela]

Mindful.

[Mecca]

I think I got him. I got him in the video, and I had to go back. Just so we're clear.

[Jameela]

Not this one. Okay. Girl, everything in that green zone can be recorded. You've not.

[Lavelle]

This one.

[Mecca]

I be doing re. Edison, you finna do one right now.

[Jameela]

Delete.

[Lavelle]

Because it really is. I don't think people realize how. And I love that you shared. That was a purposefully done. And with Big Guy, it's a purposely done thing, because just a lot of what we do take a lot more strategy than we realize. And so with Big Guy. Hi, baby. It really is. Hey. You didn't choose this line. And two, you didn't get me to this space. And I just honestly tell him that all the time. I don't want you to ever. I don't care what nobody say. The limelight is something that. Ooh. I've seen it bring out the best and the worst in people in real time. I've seen My own friends kind of turn into something because they thought this was something that it wasn't. So in my life, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna do my best to purposefully protect this. And it's not so crazy. Like, we were just kind of talking off camera about, like, oh, what happens if people see you in person? I'm not like, you know, but I'm.

[Mecca]

Just like, well, I mean, I'm normal.

[Lavelle]

Oh, yeah. Like, it's still normal, but you ain't making this video. And I really. It also came from a friend of big guys, a big guy, close friend. We went to dinner. He was like, oh, so you got your things going on. Da, da, da, da, da. You share him. And I'm like, no, I don't think I want to do that. Not now. He said, not never. And then he really had a conversation with us and why that was so important. And if it doesn't need to be shared, then don't share it. And so that's something that I really appreciate because I feel like I share more than you. Honestly, I lowkey share more than both of y' all. Whether you realize it or not, I share a great amount of my real life things.

[Mecca]

Cause y' all know who the hell Jamila, right?

[Jameela]

Yeah, I think that's the point. There's a creator. Her name is Ennie.

[Mecca]

And I love her content, so I know exactly.

[Jameela]

Yeah, I love her. She made a video and she was basically saying, like, the things that she doesn't post are things that she is not open for criticism. If it's not open for critique, you ain't gonna see about it. I'm like, that's it. I'm like. You said it.

[Mecca]

Cause y' all ain't gonna talk about a motherfucking baby, so it's not gonna be a time.

[Lavelle]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Jameela]

I'm not. I don't actually care about yalls opinion. Like, no shade. I don't care about yalls opinion about my parenting. So y' all don't see a lot of that. Like, you may see Noah's head here and there. Cause he lives with me. He's my child. You know what I'm saying? But you have no idea about what goes on there. You don't really see a ton of really my family. Like, my brother's a content creator, so you see a lot of him on my page, but he's a content creator, so it's different. Like, you don't see a lot of the people that don't do that. Because I don't want to expose them to that space. Because I have seen, I have felt, I have tasted that bullshit y' all be on. And I'm not trying to do that, but also, like, those things are sacred to me. Y' all don't see nothing about my dating life because I enjoy it.

[Lavelle]

Ok. I also be wondering a lot of times too, what would it be like to date in this girl? What a lot of people don't know is Big Guy is not new to this show. I just couldn't imagine Big Guy been around for.

[Mecca]

Big Guy was at Essence last year, if y' all don't know.

[Lavelle]

Big Guy was at Essence. He's been around. He been around. He's been around.

[Mecca]

Big Guy with you.

[Jameela]

Yeah.

[Lavelle]

And so I really be thinking like, oh, well, my man ain't going nowhere. Remember that. But I also really think like, okay. Cause you know, you dude just don't know these days. And I'll be seeing even with like the new friends that people be trying to make me have and do this and do that. I'm like, okay, I am really guarded in that space. I am really guarded in that space. How is it dating?

[Mecca]

It's.

[Jameela]

It's interesting.

[Lavelle]

Hold on, let me get a sip or something.

[Mecca]

Get you a sip, girl.

[Jameela]

Dating is very fun right now. I'm just in a. We like fun, you know, it's real fun. I'm in a different stage where I'm just like. I'm really just enjoying dating because I have not really had the best dating experience just in life in general. Like, I started dating late. I was a late bloomer. I was really stupid in the beginning, which most people are. Then I got into a long term relationship.

[Lavelle]

What's late? You know? I want to know.

[Jameela]

I didn't start dating till college, but.

[Mecca]

Till college we was in a competition to lose our virginity.

[Jameela]

Yeah, I mean, lost virginity in college too.

[Mecca]

Like as in, like. Yeah, we was. I got my first kiss the night I lost my virginity.

[Lavelle]

Oh, my goodness.

[Jameela]

Yeah, so I was late today. I was really late today.

[Lavelle]

And y' all was a little late to the game. I mean, good for y' all.

[Jameela]

Yeah, I didn't really start dating actually dating until like my sophomore year of college. So 1920. I'm gonna be like, you a slut.

[Lavelle]

Yeah. You know, like in high school. That's a little slow.

[Jameela]

Now listen, girl.

[Lavelle]

Slow?

[Jameela]

I was nothing.

[Mecca]

I was slow.

[Jameela]

So, you know, that's just where I am right now. I'm just having a good time.

[Mecca]

We're gonna take A break.

[Lavelle]

Learning through play starts with Lego Duplo.

[Jameela]

With Lego.

[Lavelle]

With Lego Duplo, toddlers can develop real life skills while having fun with colorful bricks made just for them. Large, easy to grip and safe to explore. When children express themselves with Lego Duplo, they build patience, problem solving and empathy. See your child learn perseverance and self expression with everything they imagine and create. Visit lego.com preschool to learn more.

[Jameela]

And we're back.

[Lavelle]

Do you got one eye on everybody that you date because of your platform?

[Jameela]

I don't. I wouldn't say that. Because I'm not in a space where I'm like necessarily looking for something super serious. So I think that I can just kind of take that out of it. And the people that I'm dating currently, they, you know, got it.

[Lavelle]

Know nobody. I'm trying to tell you. Cause that would probably be my thing, but I have my fair share of dating before. Big Guy. Hi, Big Guy again. And I've dated a few content creators or got to know them. I felt like I couldn't do that part though. I probably need like a rapper. I could give you something in the.

[Mecca]

Different part that ain't worth a damn either.

[Jameela]

Oh, okay. And I think the piece is. I don't think it matters the industry. For me, personally, I know a man is gonna be a man no matter the industry. So it's like, that's out of it. It's just more so, like. And it just. It just struck me within the last couple of months, like, okay, yeah, you go out on a date, sister, you will be clocked. And it happens every time. So it's like, that's something that I think about. It's not gonna change me. Because one thing about it, I'm gonna still go out and I'm gonna still do that date. And I'm gonna still be.

[Lavelle]

Hello. Hey, what's going on? So you would date an influencer?

[Jameela]

Well, yes, I date civilians.

[Lavelle]

Okay.

[Mecca]

That's where I date the civilians.

[Lavelle]

I'm with you on that. I don't. When y' all be screaming and yelling, I don't want a man with a 9 to 5. I close my ears.

[Mecca]

I close my ears.

[Lavelle]

Cause I need some stability in this life of mine.

[Mecca]

We like insurance and stuff every year around.

[Jameela]

There's not a lot of men off limits for me. Military is off limits. Police officer off limits. Ugly off limits. That's really okay, you know.

[Mecca]

So you and Big Guy, this is my question. Cause I recently Jameela was trying to lead to that, but wasn't Getting there.

[Lavelle]

Okay.

[Mecca]

And I had this happen where I was outside wanting in, and I had. I didn't even clock it. Cause you know I'd be minding my damn business. He clocked it. He said them girls just shifted they seats to look at us and they're taking pictures of us. And I feel like since we don't talk about men online, especially no more, it was like, ooh, it's way more like. It's way more like, I feel like you and big guy, like, I know for me and little moms, it would be like, oh, my God, this little mom. Like, it would be like, this is her. But since we don't talk about that, it'd be like a level of secrecy, which is not. It is real tea. And it's like, tea. It's like, yeah, I know. I got good taste.

[Jameela]

What was that?

[Mecca]

What was that? He would find. Huh? And then, you know, this go me. They taking a picture. He watched me walk away.

[Lavelle]

Okay.

[Mecca]

My good side.

[Lavelle]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

He like, I was. And I. That kind of like. And this was only like, this was whatever. But I. It put into perspective to me again, how many eyes are on us.

[Lavelle]

Yes.

[Mecca]

Because the fact that we came to a random restaurant like the rest of people, and this is causing a ruckus. It's like, again, taking it back to brands. You cannot downplay our influence, because celebrity has changed, even in just the past five years and the 10 years, 15 years. You don't have to be a bitch.

[Jameela]

We were talking about that with the streaming university. I had randomly was scrolling, and I had one of the lives was showing some of the things from streaming university. And they were. I guess they had went to a club or something during that weekend. When I tell you the location of the little university had leaked. When I tell you it was bombarded with fans and they had a barricade. And I said I had to sit back. I sent this to the group chat. I said, y' all influencers are celebrities in real life.

[Lavelle]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

Like this Tyson that just caused that whole ruckus in times.

[Jameela]

Yeah. I said, I'm gagged because I'm like, this is like, mind you, these are our peers. These are our colleagues. We are in that same space. And it's like, that was so surreal to me. And I'm like, Even when we were walking around, you know, at Spill House homecoming, and people are like, running up to us and screaming that when I tell you I was gag boots, I said, yo, like, it's crazy. So to be out on the town with A gentleman.

[Lavelle]

Oh.

[Jameela]

And next thing you know, there's a video. Next thing you know, there's a video, you know, being. And it's like, for me, I was just so gagged and I'm just so goofy. I don't know what do to. But I just hit up. Okay, hey, like, you may. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, for me, luckily, I haven't really seen any of those videos actually pop. I mean, if it happens, it is what it is. I don't care if sister. I was outside. You know what I'm saying? I was. That was me. What can I say? I believe in community.

[Mecca]

Do you be hitting the Naomi Campbell with Big Guy?

[Lavelle]

What's the Naomi Campbell?

[Mecca]

Get out of my face.

[Jameela]

Like, if somebody comes to, has somebody record a job or.

[Lavelle]

I think I am really. My friends really do love me, and I think this is a thing that they all find. I guess we should protect it. Do I fear that one day a bed seed is probably gonna ruin it for everybody? Sometimes I think Big Guy noticed more than me. He noticed when somebody's noticing me. He noticed when somebody's about to come on swivel. He noticed when. Yes. All the time. People take pictures. Nobody has posted, luckily. Thank you, friends. I feel like they just share, like, oh, this is him and da, da, da, da.

[Jameela]

I done see Big Guy.

[Lavelle]

I don't know what my reaction would be, though, if a vi. Viral video did come out of us together, because I would probably feel. I don't know, a little. I would feel like our privacy was invaded in a way. And I know. Yeah. Just because, you know that this is something that I have purposefully hidden. It does happen. Yes. I don't see it as much. And they're definitely more so, like, suspicious with it. He'll see it all the time. But luckily, y' all ain't leaking it. So don't leak it. Send it to your friend group and just keep it moving.

[Jameela]

Yeah.

[Mecca]

To your question about friends, I wanted to say this right quick. And this is part of the reason. When I said Houston is always gonna have, like, a level of respect and home for me. When little moms was living with me, they respected me so bad. In Houston, we got posters on our church page. Mind you, we go to megachurch, they reached out to me. Do we need to delete it? And I just felt like, you know what? This is a city that really respects me and my boundaries. I fuck with y' all. Like, I'm gonna be here. But, like, to your point about friends, I think that. And we really were just talking about this last night. We don't have a whole bunch of new friends, but obviously. And I. I feel like the last group of friends I made was at essence, was our creative friends. And I have a really good friend in Houston, Joe. Everyone knows Joe. That's my baby. Kind of navigating that with this. Are you ever fearful of letting new people in? Yes. Okay.

[Jameela]

Well, yes.

[Lavelle]

No, I don't. I kind of find myself not wanting to let really anybody in. You gotta think when you watch people who have. Like, I've been in LA for six years. These people have seen me. Okay. And then also being different, you know, crowds where you. Everybody know everybody. To watch people go from, like, knowing you to, like, oh, lavelle, you know, it's a really creepy thing sometimes. Or to watch people be like, yeah. You know, people who barely speak, want to take pictures and do the stories and post you on their Instagram and, hey, come here. Can you say this or what? Do you think it really puts you on guard just because I've worked really hard to get here and I want to protect that, and I just don't want to be that person who was manipulating because I do have a. Once you in, you in. I mean, I will send you my contacts. I'll do it. I'm just that type of person.

[Mecca]

So Child LaBelle texts us from a new number. I said, who the hell is this?

[Lavelle]

I just. Yeah, I don't trust everybody, especially because everybody wants to be an influencer, too. That's a whole nother thing and a whole nother topic. Everybody wants to be an influencer. And I get it. I think it's. It's a new going to be. Yes. It's so glamorous on the outside looking in. And so I'm like. And I know you trying to get there based on my name, and it's just not gonna happen.

[Mecca]

Pookie.

[Lavelle]

Blaine Featherson. Yeah.

[Jameela]

I think I struggle with figuring that piece out because I'm getting to the point now where I'm starting to enter into rooms, starting to bump those shoulders. But for me, those don't count, though. I know those don't count. I know. Even the influencer friend I was telling.

[Lavelle]

You about earlier, those are different. Those are like. We have really connected in a. In a space of. You don't really need nothing from me. I don't need nothing from you. This is community.

[Jameela]

Connect.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Lavelle]

When you go into those spaces where it's like, girl, you've known me forever, you've known me. That's why I'm like, and no, I don't want to go to brunch with you. We have never went out for drinks. We have never done these things I don't want to do.

[Jameela]

That's always funny to me because there are people like, you know, that I've gone to high school with.

[Lavelle]

Yes.

[Jameela]

And like, I'm seeing you in the comments, and it's like, you never talk to me.

[Lavelle]

Never.

[Jameela]

As a matter of fact, never talk about.

[Lavelle]

Ooh, he always used to be so funny.

[Jameela]

As a matter of fact, you use the kiki.

[Lavelle]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

Watch it like that be the part that actually makes me laugh. I'm like, this is so weird. I never thought that I would be that person that people are trying to attach themselves to. Because it's like, I still view myself as Jamila, which I always will be, but it's just like, I don't see myself anything other than who I am. And it's like, who I've always been. I've always been this person. And I remember what's crazy. I had went to my school's homecoming dream, Georgia State, the same year as Spell House Homecoming. And I'm walking around with my friends, like. Cause, babe, this is my homecoming. I'm walking around my people, and somebody that I knew walked up to me and was just like, oh, my gosh. Like, this is just so crazy. Like, I was finna come up and say, hey. But, you know, people was taking pictures with you, so I didn't wanna do that. Cause, like, girl, I know you in real life. And, you know, I was just thinking to myself, like, you know, why are you not as funny online as y' all are in person? Like, I don't know. It was just so weird. And I was like, what?

[Lavelle]

That's ashamed. I was gonna.

[Jameela]

What?

[Lavelle]

What?

[Jameela]

They're like, no, no. Like, I don't know. Like, you online, they're like, you're really funny online. I'm like, I act the exact same way, if not crazier in person. Anybody who knows me will tell you, baby, online you be cutting out is limited and filtered and cut, baby.

[Mecca]

Especially at this point. Like, what are you talking about?

[Jameela]

Like, so it just threw me and I felt so uncomfortable because it's like, why are you acting like that?

[Lavelle]

Oh, you sound like me. Probably like, that was me a year ago. You know, the whole, like, Hollywood thing, especially. Cause I actually live in Hollywood or la. I hear that a lot. To the point where I just started accepting. I'm like, you Know what, Lavelle? They probably got a point. You really are a little different. And I think that's what they're really saying. Ballard. I know deep down inside it's still the same south side, Chicago little boy that's in the inside. But you gotta understand, I think it's almost, like, ignorant of us not to think, like, we have to move differently because of these.

[Mecca]

And that's what I'm learning. My friends have been telling me for years, like, I've just. I'm a friendly lady.

[Jameela]

Let me tell you something about Mecca.

[Mecca]

Okay?

[Jameela]

Crazy.

[Mecca]

One word. Coo.

[Jameela]

Coo. Crazy. We have to. I like. I think that there's a slight little social awareness that's missing because Mecca will be in the face of danger and be like, I'm just having a good time. Be like, mecca.

[Mecca]

No, no. But that. This is crazy, child. I think even. Especially it's when we have to go out more. It's made me more aware of, like, oh, whoa, you're really friendly. Because what will happen is like. Like, I am just a talker. And I've always. I don't mind talking to anyone. It is what it is. I'll strike up a conversation, but I feel like picking the right friends. Luckily, I haven't picked no one bad. But I could see now, seeing, you know, when you have a mirror of your peers, even hearing you say this, it's like, I should be meaner.

[Jameela]

You know, like, not meaner, but, like.

[Mecca]

I should be a little bit more. Cause I'm just so, like, hey, hey. You know, just being mindful. It really is.

[Lavelle]

And it's important not to say, like, I mean, we both watched. Now, my friends, I just got a soft spot for. If y' all see me in person, that's just not gonna change. But it's being mindful that, like, certain things that I used to do, I just can't do anymore.

[Mecca]

Jo literally got mad, so you can't. I've always been like, a real go out to eat by myself type of lady.

[Lavelle]

Okay. But I still do that. But I used to go to the club by myself, too. I can't do that.

[Mecca]

Listen, baby.

[Lavelle]

No.

[Mecca]

Joe said baby, no. Yeah, like. And so it's those little realization that it's like, oh, I shouldn't. You said, bitch, Are you crazy?

[Jameela]

Yeah, I never went anymore by myself because I'm just so. I'm just so social, baby.

[Mecca]

I'm going to Miami by myself.

[Lavelle]

Yeah, I'll be moving.

[Jameela]

That for me, hasn't changed too much. Cause I'm Just like, so. And I think that. I always think, like, I really hope that, like, the way that I am perceived in person is, like, okay. Because I'm very, very scary and, like, shy. So I'd be like, oh, my gosh. I hope people don't think I'm just a bitch. Damn. Cause I know I was probably like.

[Lavelle]

My favorite thing is when they come and they come in and they say, like, oh, my God. You were just really the same thing. Cause that's always what I think, you know, we're human. Some days, I ain't all, yeah. Although, I don't know. Big guy make fun of me. He like, yes, you are. The moment somebody say friend, you turn into that person all the way.

[Mecca]

Hey, girl.

[Lavelle]

I'm like, I get so excited. It's like seeing the hard work really in front of you. I don't care what nobody say. That's why I can't get when people don't get excited about it. Cause it's like, man, if this one interaction could really. I don't. You just never really know. Never know. So to me, I always take my time.

[Jameela]

I really try to, like. I'm like, let me.

[Mecca]

Like, Did I say. Did I say hi? Happy enough? I'd be like, that's what I was doing.

[Jameela]

I literally walk away. Like, I hope I made things that was good always.

[Lavelle]

I would look at him, and I. I look at him sometimes, and I'm like, oh, did I kind of. He's like, where? Like, you just never really know, too how people gonna persist.

[Mecca]

And to Lavelle's point, when Lil Ma's living with me, it would happen. And you don't even talk like that. I'd be like, hey, girl. Yeah, you know, she was angsty, and she talk like that.

[Lavelle]

Okay, because y' all ain't getting this voice that I be having when I'm just sitting on the couch screaming at big God, Lord, like, nobody want to hear that. I don't even want to hear that.

[Jameela]

We're gonna take a break.

[Mecca]

This message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy?

[Jameela]

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[Mecca]

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[Lavelle]

This episode is brought to you by Pluto TV. Summer of Cinema is here and Pluto. Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Beverly Hills Cop, Mission Impossible, Ghost Protocol, Good Burger, Stealth, Four Brothers and Star Trek. Bring the action with you and stream for free on all your favorite devices. Pluto tv Stream now Pay never. Stream now at Pluto tv.

[Mecca]

And we're back.

[Jameela]

So since we have you here, we.

[Mecca]

Are going to communication.

[Jameela]

Yeah.

[Lavelle]

Bachelor's in pr.

[Jameela]

Come on now. We are the masters.

[Lavelle]

Hello.

[Jameela]

Include you in our segment called Spinach.

[Lavelle]

Come on, spin it.

[Jameela]

Where we take people's mess that they send and we spin it for them. We a little PR Spin.

[Lavelle]

Okay?

[Mecca]

If you have any situations that you would like for us to spin, don't forget to email at unhinged anymore pod gmail.com. remember to add your race, your gender, and most importantly your age, because that matters. Jameela, what do we have this week?

[Jameela]

Hey, Mecca and Jameela. My name is Jasmine. I'm a bisexual 20 year old black college student. All right, this is a bit long. I'm sorry. My sister who is 21, has a soon to be one year old and a husband, 21. My God. We both live with our parents. I transferred from Tennessee State to a community college and my sister is following her husband as he changed chases his failing football dreams with their child.

[Lavelle]

Recently I've done it.

[Mecca]

Let God be true. Quickly.

[Jameela]

Recently we all got into a bit of an argument on the way to my brother's track meet and I'm a bit of a p. I'm in a bit of a pickle with my family. I have a younger brother who's 14 who is a more emotional type of boy. And my sister and her husband are full heartedly believe, believes, believe he's gay. I grew up Southern Baptist, so I'm sure you all understand the stigma regarding how they feel about sweeter people.

[Lavelle]

Hello. This is a great one.

[Jameela]

My brother has had a very hard time growing up with being very short and a little chubby and he used to struggle with suicidal ideation. So I get very sensitive about topics regarding him. My sister says he better not be gay because he knows how the family feels feels about it. I responded to do y' all plan on throwing away 14 years of love because he may or may not like men? Her husband then responds, God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. They love that.

[Mecca]

I just love that.

[Jameela]

I then tell him, y' all are horrible people if you say that to him after he builds the courage to tell you all his sexual representation. Her husband then says he doesn't know who the I'm talking to and I need to shut down the up.

[Mecca]

The quotations are crazy.

[Jameela]

My sister makes a comment stating that he better not have nothing going up in him and that rubbed me the wrong way because. Why are you thinking of your younger brother's sexual escapades? I have not spoken to either of them since Saturday and my mom is making us have a family meeting to discuss that issue this coming Monday. My God, I hate the family meeting. What bothers me most is that her husband constantly disrespects me for no good reason and she says nothing to defend me on top of that. All of these speculations are just that, speculations. They're so engrossed in what may or may not be, but claim they, they hate gay people so much. I truly don't get it. And I have this dire feeling to protect my brother. But at the same time, I don't want to be kicked out since I'm not moving out until after I get my associates. Associates, please give me your thoughts and a bit of advice on how I should approach the problem at said meeting. By the way, the husband has no license, job or anything someone should have when they have a child. He's an injured player that is dodging reality with a child. Colleges keep rescinding their offers and my sister and him are struggling horribly. But there's horribly. But she's the only one that seems to understand that they need to survive. I keep making, making excuses for her, but I don't know if I can hold my tongue any longer. Ooh my God. On today.

[Mecca]

Well, first of all, I'm a bit triggered by the family meeting.

[Jameela]

Can I just say that the baby probably is gay. So let's, let's, let's talk as if he's gay Cause I think that'll just make for an easier conversation like he probably is.

[Mecca]

And even if he's not, it'll still apply. Cause your brother in law ain't worth a date. Girl.

[Jameela]

Where do we begin? There's so many.

[Lavelle]

I know, I'm like, that was low.

[Mecca]

Let's start with mom, cause I feel like she's worried about you getting kicked out. If your mom was trying to call a family meeting, that means she wants everyone to be kumbaya. So I don't. And as someone with a mom who loves to call family meetings when there's disarray in the house, she wants everyone to get along and she wants all her children around her as it sounds like she has them. She wouldn't let no big grown ass adults stay in the house if she didn't want her babies in the house. So let's just go ahead and say your mom is not gonna kick you out. Cause that's just what I'm getting from this. If I'm just thinking about. Now let's get to your sister and his brother in law.

[Jameela]

I think that a lot of this is actually the brother in law and brother in law instead of the family.

[Mecca]

No, that's because I was about to say that I don't think your mama.

[Jameela]

Gonna care considering how he spoke to you and considering your mama still allows him to be in that house. Your mama gives nice old church lady who don't want dissonance in general.

[Mecca]

That's his husband, right? So we have to respect the cuz.

[Jameela]

And it's like, ah, so come that family meeting, what I think, what I think she should do is, is distract, right? Distract from little gay brother and point all the fingers at broke football player who ain't got no dreams, no money, no reality. I think y' all should. In that family meeting, before they even get to talking about little brother and his switching and his sweetness, get to talking about how you ain't got no damn job, you ain't paying no bills, you're up in my mama's house, you.

[Mecca]

Don'T have a driver's license, what the fuck is up with that?

[Jameela]

You know? Distract. And I think that'll kind of get the heat off little brother until he get up.

[Mecca]

Cause you say he's 14, he don't need all that.

[Lavelle]

You know my philosophy, I think. Okay, well, let me share my thoughts. My thoughts is because you're working with so much friend, your best thing to do is to divide and conquer. You need to talk to everybody, but kind of like separately, once you get to that meeting, you need to be the head honcho. I got my mom on my side, I got my sister on my side, my sister on my side. Because that's still your sister. And I know people forget because they get married and da da da da. I still feel like whether you think it's going to end well or not, you need to have a separate conversation with your family. Start with your mom. Mom, what happens if he really is gay? Like really, really get to the point where they're friend. Because a lot of times as a gay black man, you know, I grew up in a family that said the F word and look at them gays and look at them sissies and da, da, da, da, da. And you better not be. And as soon as I came out, it was like, oh, thank God for rainbows. Because there's a love that really is indescribable, I feel like. And it's not everyone's story, so we have to watch this very carefully. I'm very blessed that this is my story. But nine times out of 10, if we're going with the story that your mom is very loving, clearly she calling family meetings and da, da, da, da, da, da. You really need to get on track with your mom that are you gonna really abandon your son if he's gay? Next big sis, you really need to talk to that 14 year old. And I know it's a tough conversation to have, but if I would have had just the idea, right? You don't need. Don't go in and with like, tell me, are you gay? But like, hey, it's a lot of things going on. I want you to know, no matter what, as your sister, I'mma get us through this. Whenever you feel comfortable with whatever your sexuality is, if nobody in this house supports you, listen to me, friend, when I tell you this, you need to tell your brother, I'll be there for you. Because just having that one person, man, it means the world. Especially when you feel like everybody doesn't really support it, you know, and just really give them that. And also at 14, too. And this is why I think people don't realize you gotta really watch that sexuality. I have watched friends get kicked out. It is a real. I know we say, oh, it won't happen. You'll be shocked. They kick them kids, are you gay? You on the doorstep. So just really making sure that your brother's safety is there. We go into the sister. Boom. You didn't already talk. You already did it. By the time that family meet come. Hey, what's up? What's going on, y' all? Oh, okay. What you wanna talk about, like, really leaning on him? Let's see what the. Because really, like I said, when you're the source of it, if you go attacking them, this is my thoughts. It's only gonna make that person retaliate and really make you look something. That's what people in that space, it sounds like he's really taking out his horrible life. I'm just saying what you said, I'm just paraphrasing. It's giving horrible out on y' all. And I just think at the end of the day, to really take control of it. It comes down to like, I'm like, well, my alliance is over here, buddy. That's all you can really do. But I think, and this is my last piece to it, the 14 year old is what we need to protect at the most. Yeah.

[Mecca]

His feelings for sure.

[Lavelle]

Especially being a black gay man. Like, man, I just empathize with that so much. Y' all know that. So I'm like, and if all else fails, if you talk to your mom and she going left and sideways, you talk to your sister, she say, skip you F you, I got a husband, da da, da da. Then at the end of the day, as long as that 14 year old feels like he had somebody who was there for him, you still did your job. That's all you can really do, friend.

[Mecca]

The only thing I'm concerned about is her sister. Sounds like a pick me in the point of she gonna talk to her sister. Her sister gonna go back and tell that man everything she said. I would say talk to everybody. Talk to your mama and talk to baby boy. Do not talk to your sister though because your sister's gonna to go back and and give all your talking points to and they're going to have rebuttal to everything. It needs to be an ambush for you suck. You're failure.

[Jameela]

Making sure it's directed to him and not the pair of them. Because then you'll, you'll alienate your sister and your sister's going to double down on her. Pick me up.

[Mecca]

It needs to be like you're a man, your family. Why is my sister bearing the brunt of this relationship? You should be showing up for your family and you're not doing your job. Like take it off your sister so that she doesn't so her. If your sister has beef with you, which I she probably will. It sounds like she's the type of lady who would. It would be because you attacked her husband, but you did not attack her.

[Jameela]

Yeah. And would that family be a slippery slope?

[Lavelle]

As someone who has been there too though, you gotta understand, like I've really been there. I have a sister who is married. Not saying that anything with her husband, but I got a sister who's married, she got four kids. I've seen my fair share of storylines. Family is that one thing. If it's really at the core, like I know we don't be wanting to have them hard conversations, but that's the only way to work through it.

[Jameela]

It's important though. Like I know we definitely had several uncountable with the get down family meetings and conversations. But I will say, on the other side of things, it does get better. And I think that family meetings are important because we just kind of assume a lot of the times with families just like. Cause you grow up with them in the house, so it's like you don't really have those hard conversations all the time. So it's like, you know, now that I think about it, I just was assuming you was this or that. And it's like them family meetings and conversations allow you to. To, you know, kind of decompress. I think what would be a good thing for y' all is to kind of lay some ground rules. Okay? Now, before we get to talking.

[Lavelle]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

Ain't nobody raising their voice. Ain't nobody calling no name. You know what I'm saying? Like, lay some ground rules and, like, allow everybody to, you know, just rusa. Discard themselves. Go ahead and put them guards down.

[Mecca]

Relax.

[Jameela]

Like, this is just a free for all space. And I think maybe like, just kind of ease on in. Into them topics. Maybe not. Maybe not Start with, you're a bummer, you know, You're a bum bitch. You know, maybe not. Let's start there may be, like, easy. How was everybody's day, right, mama?

[Mecca]

Dude, what is it?

[Lavelle]

The.

[Mecca]

The corporate sandwich. Two positives, one negative, two positives. Bad. Well, I mean, I fist fought my cousin, and we're cool now, so I feel like y' all are good. You know, sometime it get unchy.

[Lavelle]

Well, my family love to fist fight. They ain't fist fight me. Because if you fist fight me, let me tell you, family, if you watching this, that'll be your last day stand.

[Mecca]

And this why when I. And this why when they be cussing me. I was in the middle neck like that.

[Lavelle]

Okay. Let me tell you, that'll be your last.

[Jameela]

Yeah. Nah, you ain't put your hands.

[Mecca]

I only went white because I won the fight.

[Jameela]

But, you know, I guess that counts.

[Mecca]

That counts. But the thing is, I do feel like everyone's family is different. So I'm not gonna compare everybody's family. Everybody's family is completely different. And I. Let me say, it's been about seven years, so it wasn't anything that was an overnight thing. It was very slow, and we're all grown, and I got a frontal lobe in the process. And so many things have happened to make us to the point where we are. Hello, Happy birthday text.

[Jameela]

So it's good, you know, I'll never forget, though.

[Mecca]

I'll never forget showing them balls Listen, I just. There's. I feel like there's a few things that could make it so you don't come back with family. And not. And that's like, if people are not willing to respect your boundaries, if real abuse is afoot, if, you know, there are just certain things that I don't think we should tell people to come back from. But the older I get, I'm becoming one of them blacks. You can pick your nose, you cannot pick your family. So a lot of times. And that's why family act like that. Because in those moments, I know as someone who's had issues with my brother, we can have whatever we. Issues. I was. I didn't talk to my brother for almost a year, and in one of his lowest moments, and my. You. This is. We're six months into the year of us not talking. He called me and said, I need you to get me a flight to X, Y, and Z, because this is going on. I haven't spoken to niggas in six months. So it's like, it's that level of, you know, that when you're to the neck, I can call you.

[Jameela]

So.

[Mecca]

And. And that dynamic makes it so people feel like they could treat you any old type of way. And that's why we need to establish boundaries and respect and rules. Yes. Right.

[Jameela]

Yeah. I will say, just in case things. And your family is a little bit more left than we imagined, if y' all are in that conversation and you start hearing certain things, that's giving. This is not a safe space.

[Mecca]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

Protect your brother. And maybe now is not the time for him to come out that closet. Let's keep him locked up. It's okay. He's a child. He's a child, and it's okay. And I think that sometimes white liberals specifically, I've seen this online. They will forcefully say that you need to come out. You need to come out. Sometimes it ain't all way safe.

[Lavelle]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

And sometimes we need protecting babies in that closet until they get to us a level of adulthood to where they can actually escape those. Those environments where it's safe for them to be. And if it's not safe for that baby to be that. Well, let's. Let's keep that baby locked up for a little bit.

[Mecca]

That's another level cultural context that I feel like when you be listening to people talk, when they be like, your therapist needs to be black. Your therapist. Like, there's a level of cultural context that even with this conversation, we're assuming y' all are black and this sounds like some black people right now. And that's why, I'm assuming you wrote into this.

[Lavelle]

These, these are.

[Mecca]

Right, she did. That's what I'm saying. These are black people. So it's like we culturally have the context with your brother in law being out of pocket about that. Baby, there are certain things that when people are giving advice and they're giving blanket general statement advice, that's not for you. Yeah, yeah, don't take that. Take, take what resonates and go on about your business. Because to Jamila's point, it might not be safe. And to. And to the other point, knowing how older black church women are, this could go one or two ways. Two ways. Either your mama gonna stand up and she's gonna be like, no, we're not gonna do that. Or she's gonna completely side with your sister on your brother, because that's gonna be the side of Christ and all this type of. Right. Like that. So we know that because we have the context. Other people might not. So that's why when we started, I was like, let's give, like both.

[Jameela]

Yeah, let. Let them lead the conversation maybe. And then you can, you can adjust and see, like, let's see what they talking about.

[Mecca]

Oh, okay.

[Jameela]

Code red, brother.

[Lavelle]

I just couldn't imagine now we about to go. I just, I also couldn't imagine being a 14 year old in the family meetings about your sexuality. I'm like, wait, is that what they're gonna talk about?

[Jameela]

Now hold on.

[Lavelle]

Now, hold on.

[Jameela]

Why am I getting so much backlash?

[Lavelle]

Like, what's going on?

[Jameela]

Yeah, that would be crazy. So that's why I was like, I hope that that's not the center context of the meeting. Like, hopefully it's just about everybody, you know, acting a fool and not getting along, because that would be really. But it wouldn't be so far out. That happens too. So it's like, you know, y' all got to just adjust. But like you said, protect baby brother at all costs.

[Lavelle]

Amen.

[Mecca]

Y' all are adults. Y' all are adults.

[Lavelle]

Yeah. Y' all dealing with some adult stuff.

[Mecca]

And just calling on your own time.

[Lavelle]

Yeah.

[Jameela]

And was his sister or brother who said he better not have nothing going in, Was that sister who said that?

[Mecca]

That was his sister.

[Lavelle]

That was cuss.

[Jameela]

I'm not gonna lie. You might have to cuss your sister out.

[Lavelle]

Oh, no good. Sister cussed out. Ain't never hurt nobody.

[Jameela]

You being weird, bitch? Cause because sometimes, here's the thing, one thing about me and my sibs, there's no boundary for how I can talk.

[Lavelle]

Oh, say me and my siblings get down with the gay.

[Mecca]

We don't play if my siblings have.

[Jameela]

Now, mind you, both my sibs is gay, you know, So y' all know.

[Mecca]

My brother, you know what I'm saying?

[Jameela]

So we don't have this conversation. But if one of my siblings was to ever say some weird shit like that, I'd be like, why are you being fucking weird?

[Lavelle]

We ain't.

[Jameela]

I don't know how y' all is with y' all sims, but maybe that y' all need to start being a little bit more real. Real?

[Lavelle]

Yes.

[Jameela]

Some of y' all don't talk to y' all SS like they your sibs, you know what I'm saying? This ain't your neighbor. This ain't your colleague. This ain't your, you know. Hell no. Take your sister in that top room, in that corner, in that attic where your mama keep her wigs and be like, you and that. I think, str. Why the is you talk? You. You ain't never even said no like that.

[Lavelle]

Also, get your sister.

[Jameela]

Yeah, you need to gather her, cuz she didn't lost her damn mind.

[Lavelle]

Yes.

[Mecca]

Just don't tell her you f to call her bum. Yeah, but you. You gather her for what she said about your brother.

[Jameela]

Come upstairs. Help me with this real quick.

[Lavelle]

Now you getting out of hand.

[Mecca]

Relax.

[Jameela]

Now I get to talk about you in that bum.

[Mecca]

It's 2025.

[Lavelle]

You're not gay. I also have a gay little brother, period.

[Jameela]

It's not so fun.

[Lavelle]

It's three. I'm the oldest. Head honcho Leo.

[Jameela]

We love a little two for three. Okay, You a two for three, too.

[Lavelle]

But you're a middle child.

[Jameela]

Yes, I can tell.

[Mecca]

Point five out of two. You know how to stud face.

[Jameela]

Mecca, please.

[Lavelle]

Mecca, please.

[Jameela]

It's been so great.

[Mecca]

Oh, my God, this was so fun.

[Lavelle]

We're done. Can I say something? Because y' all know I want to say something. I know we kind of mentioned it, but, man, to anybody watching, this is really just the power of manifestation. And who. I have met them before, you know, this was just a concept. So to see you guys really walking in the spaces that you deserve because you took a chance, you took a risk, you said, you know what? Yes. We deserve to have a safe space for us as well, where we can let out our thoughts and we can really talk to our audience. It's such a beautiful thing to see. And you are inspiring those that you may not even know. Keep your head high, man. What you guys do is hard. And I know this may have felt at some point like a little bad session, but this is really just therapy because the ups and the downs that come with this. Although we're forever grateful, it takes a lot. And I just want to give you y' all flowers today because it is a beautiful thing to see you back.

[Mecca]

You literally brought us flowers, y' all.

[Lavelle]

Okay. A class act. In real life, it was a class act. But to see y' all be in Atlanta and be on Fox and this and that and la, I'm just like, go off girls. And this is really what hard work gets you. And I'm just so proud. This was great.

[Jameela]

Thank you so much.

[Lavelle]

Give me a.

[Jameela]

Oh, my gosh. You know we love Lavelle round. He's posh child. Okay, so you already know the deal, y' all. New episodes every single Thursday. Make sure you guys are following Lavelle on all of his platforms. The Lavelle Show.

[Mecca]

The Lavelle Show.

[Lavelle]

Hello. Hello.

[Jameela]

Anything exciting you want to plug right now? What's coming out on Thursday?

[Lavelle]

Lavelle. It's coming out on Thursday. I can't talk about a single thing that went across my mind, so just keep tuning in. It's very things that I'm very grateful for.

[Jameela]

There's some things in the words.

[Lavelle]

That's the only way you keep elevating, Keep something in your funnel. Okay. As I say, you gotta keep something going. And don't let the left hand know what the right hand works.

[Mecca]

Hello, Period.

[Jameela]

Well, thank y' all so much for watching and we'll see what.

[Lavelle]

Thank you.

[Mecca]

For watching and we'll see y' all next week.

[Jameela]

Thank you.

[Mecca]

Period.

[Lavelle]

Period.

[Jameela]

That was so Unhinged and Immoral is hosted by Jamila Bell and Mecca, produced.

[Mecca]

By Melissa D Montz and Diamond Imprint.

[Jameela]

Productions, post production by Coco Lawrence, production.

[Mecca]

Assistant by Melanie D. Watson, music by.

[Jameela]

Adi and Brooklyn Billionaires and graphics by Claudia Choi.