Many of us have learned to live at odds with our own desires. Some of us follow them wherever they lead. Others try to suppress or manage them. Either way, desire can begin to feel like something we don’t quite trust.

In this episode of the Unhurried Living Podcast, Alan Fadling sits down with therapist and author Jay Stringer to explore a more honest and hopeful way of understanding desire. Drawing from his book Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow, Jay helps us see how even our most confusing or unwanted desires can become pathways toward healing.

Together, they discuss:

Why desire can feel like a “civil war” within us
How our stories shape the desires we carry
The role of shame—and the invitation to curiosity
How to discern the deeper longing beneath misdirected desire
A simple next step toward healing and greater awareness

This is a conversation for anyone who has ever felt conflicted inside—and wondered if there might be a more grace-filled way forward.

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