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Rich
Hi, I'm Kristen Bell. Carvana makes car buying easy. Isn't that right, hun? Dax. Dax, sorry. Did you know about this?
Cody
7 day money back guarantee.
Rich
A week to evaluate seat comfiness.
Cody
You say a week of terrain tests?
Rich
Yeah, I can test the brake pad resistance at variable speeds. Make sure all the kids stuff fits nicely. Make sure our stuff fits nicely.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, the right.
Rich
Still need to buy the car. Getting ahead of ourselves here. Buy your car with Carvana today. It's us versus them today, okay? Don't embarrass me in front of my friends.
Eli
You know it's good when the brand name is.
Cody
Trunyon.
Brandon Herrera
I'm sorry, that's up. I shouldn't like make fun of that.
Cody
Yes, that's the worst thing that's been said on this podcast.
Nick
I don't know how much of that you can say, but this investigation's over.
Cody
Oh. So we're good.
Nick
Buckle up. Buttercup.
Cody
Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. And Brandon, his hair is fucking fabulous. Donut. A dogtoak disposition.
Rich
And there's a fat electrician.
Cody
Welcome to unsubscribe.
Rich
You ready for this? Mm.
Cody
Okay. You gotta say hey.
Brandon Herrera
Hey.
Cody
Do you know what month it is?
Brandon Herrera
It is April 17th.
Cody
We're doing autism awareness month because we're helping people with autism. Yeah. You put a big smile on your face. Yeah, that's not a smart. That's. There's a real smile, you little goober. Hey. First off, thank you so much for the freaking insane response already. We just broke $50,000 in money made so far. You all always show up and step up to the plate and really make a difference. Ah, we. We cannot ask for a better community. The best community ever. Is it?
Rich
Yeah.
Cody
Do you love them? How much?
Nick
That much.
Cody
You love them that much? That's crazy. I love you, big boy. Give me a kiss. Thank you. Now I know what you're thinking. Well, Eli, what the. That shirt though? What is that shirt? Weaponize autism. Caution autism. Inting special interests. Asd. No eye contact. This is my favorite freaking shirt we have ever done. And part of it is because of all of you. We read the comments, we read the responses. And you guys asked for even better design for this month. You know what? Y'all deserve that easy. And you deserve this. Next thing. All the old autism shirts are going to be up for sale for the remaining of the month. And 100% of all these profits are going towards those amazing causes. So thank you. Thank you. Now how do we make this even better and how do we raise even more money? I had an idea.
Rich
Sorry buddy.
Cody
Introducing the Tisms. That's right, they are called the Tisms. We wanted to launch a pair of shoes that represent being different but also being awesome at the same time. And I think these. I'm so proud of these. And on top of that, any money spent will enter you to win some amazing stuff. These shoes? Yup. That safe over there worth a couple thousand dollars? Yup. Eli, what about the full metal spectrum shirt? Even better. We have a one of one helmet that we will be giving away too. Look at this board, dude. Thank you so much Tommy and hardheaded veterans for making this. Also maximus knives creating a one of one blade. It looks amazing and it is hand forged. And down in the link below you'll be able to bid on these bad boys. Fat electricians. 1 of 1. I love communism shoes. Shame he never wore them. But we know we could probably raise a good chunk of change for these and then 100% of whatever we raise will be going towards that final number at the end of the month. It's a whole bunch of stuff to buy and a whole lot of chances to win. You looking at signs? Show the camera. Guys, gals, I hope you enjoy this episode. And more importantly, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for making stuff like this possible for me, for the guys, for riding and for all the individuals out there that will truly benefit from something like this. Keep doing amazing things. We are so thankful on this side. Each and every day you change this little man's life. Y'all did that and you changed my life. So thank you always. And this is how I pay it forward. And I'm gonna continue to pay it forward until I take my last breath. I'm blessed. We're blessed. And now because of you, we can bless others. I hope you all know how much you mean to us. Thank you from the bottom of all our hearts. Love y'all. Community. Ryder, you want to say something to the camera?
Nick
I like making signs.
Cody
What kind of signs?
Nick
Prohibited signs.
Brandon Herrera
Thank you for the happy birthday.
Cody
And to the parents out there, this might be something you can do. I riding me still do it to this day. Ready, Ryden? Let's do the 10 talk in here.
Brandon Herrera
I'm smart, I'm handsome, I'm funny. I make people laugh. I make people smile. I always help others. I'll never give up.
Nick
Always want to smile more. Let me and my so, so proud of me.
Cody
Hey, smile. But hey, big smile. But stop. Bye. Love you guys.
Nick
Let's Light this candle.
Brandon Herrera
Well, we're waiting. We're waiting on that guy with the face over there in the beard. Not the. The brown one, the slightly one.
Nick
Which. Which guy?
Brandon Herrera
Green eyes, beard, green eyes.
Rich
Bearded dragon of the KKK.
Nick
We're like 30 seconds in.
Rich
It's the grand beard eye, green eyes, bearded dragon, green eyes, grand.
Cody
Oh, my God.
Rich
Bearded dragon has told all the darts.
Brandon Herrera
Why am I in all the racist episodes?
Nick
It's time.
Brandon Herrera
You're not a host. No, but I'm on all the racist episodes.
Cody
You're not a host.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, that's fair.
Fat Electrician
I'm here, dude.
Cody
That's how we're going to start it. And now we just go three.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, scrotum.
Nick
I don't know why I just kept looking around the table like it was going to materialize.
Rich
3, 2, 1.
Fat Electrician
Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribe podcast. I'm joined today by Eli Double Tap, fat electrician, angry cops, habitual line crosser, Brandon Herrera, myself, donut operator. You are getting into a star studded podcast today. What's gonna happen? We don't know.
Cody
It's unsub versus kind of consensual.
Brandon Herrera
We are.
Nick
Yeah, we're also here kind of consensually.
Cody
We forced this to happen.
Brandon Herrera
Well, I will say we can't do all the stories that are out there because all Brandons are still classified off.
Cody
Rich, are you gonna say something?
Rich
Oh, yeah.
Nick
Hey, how much have you spit onto this microphone? My God, it is visibly wet.
Brandon Herrera
No, that's from the thing. Sorry.
Fat Electrician
Can you fit your mouth around it?
Cody
You just do the Gluck. Gluck 9000.
Brandon Herrera
I don't know.
Nick
It's a riot passage.
Brandon Herrera
Yes, I remember. I was on, like right after you did it.
Cody
Dude, I love watching.
Brandon Herrera
There we go.
Rich
Hey.
Brandon Herrera
Hey, how you doing?
Rich
Hold on to my hand real quick.
Brandon Herrera
Okay.
Rich
Okay. We're having a conversation.
Brandon Herrera
Okay.
Rich
It's us versus them today.
Brandon Herrera
Okay?
Rich
Okay.
Brandon Herrera
Okay.
Rich
Don't embarrass me in front of my friends.
Nick
You're embarrassing me in front of the wizard.
Brandon Herrera
I guess that's it, folks. I'm going to go ahead and wrap up. I'm going to just.
Rich
You're starting it.
Brandon Herrera
All right, I'm going to shut up.
Rich
There we go.
Eli
You can tell Richard cares. He's dressing for success. He looks just like me, drinking a bush light and everything.
Rich
I'm just saying you can be replaced. So, you know, just letting you know, Eli, if you've ever need, you know, somebody to fill in, that can be, you know, as equally ignorant and Hairy, then.
Nick
I need to hear your best.
Fat Electrician
Today we're going to talk about.
Eli
Today we're going to talk about a.
Rich
Whole bunch of people doing some stuff.
Eli
At a time that I wasn't a.
Rich
Part of, and I'm going to get upset about it. Delete me.
Eli
This is accurate.
Rich
Where's my hot wife?
Eli
So I can put guns in and.
Rich
Not to pay for them.
Fat Electrician
At least it's entertaining.
Rich
Check out the woman that I bang cut up.
Fat Electrician
Eli, what are we talking about today?
Cody
So much. Okay, well, we have. We'll just start this one off with the charities. We'll go into that. But before we do that, you remember this thing?
Nick
Oh, no.
Cody
I opened it. Dear God. That was the worst thing I've ever.
Rich
Done in my doing.
Cody
I want I. Smelling salts. The world's strongest.
Fat Electrician
The things that Connor was free basing.
Cody
So this sealed, sealed and sealed was.
Nick
Like, it'll short circuit your brain for a second.
Cody
So I opened it and was like, I wonder. I reset. I just started hopping around. I hit my back of my head a couple times. I ran to the bathroom right before. Yeah, I was. I was like, oh, dude, that's.
Rich
Is it just ammonia? Yeah, like, it's just ammonia, isn't it?
Eli
You know, it's good when the brand name is.
Rich
Ah.
Brandon Herrera
There it is.
Cody
I drink it.
Brandon Herrera
I think I got a witch as it went by.
Rich
Oh, I'm like, my heart's going.
Nick
Oh, my God, Rich.
Rich
Where's my heart going?
Cody
That's.
Rich
That's still here, dude.
Cody
That's sealed.
Fat Electrician
It's in my white cloth.
Rich
Oh, I. I didn't want to burn the nostrils.
Brandon Herrera
That smells like embalming fluid, man. Oh, my God.
Cody
And for the camera, that is sealed. Sealed. That is in a sealed case. So I accidentally opened that before this. Dude, Connor. Connor loves this stuff.
Rich
It's like, dude, this.
Fat Electrician
When you king trial was freebase in that.
Rich
Dude, do not, like, just, like, just.
Nick
Come on camera first before you do.
Cody
But, like, just don't go, like, just the tiniest.
Nick
Oh, that's nothing. Yours.
Rich
Babies.
Brandon Herrera
Bro.
Nick
All right.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, sorry I called y'all babies, dude.
Rich
Like, it is a full reset.
Brandon Herrera
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Nick
Dude, he did what I did.
Eli
You don't smell.
Rich
You're like, oh, it's not that.
Nick
You can see how much my eyes are loving, right?
Cody
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Oh.
Eli
Oh, I just saw Connor get force reset, dude.
Cody
Yeah, he held down the power button for five seconds.
Nick
I watched him do the PlayStation 2.
Brandon Herrera
Why am I still getting whiffs on.
Rich
With the cubes, bro.
Cody
That was the worst experience I've had in a long time. I was like, man, I want to nap so bad. I'll just do like a. What is an Wide Awake anymore? No.
Nick
All right. I want more.
Cody
Huh?
Brandon Herrera
I'm still getting whiffs of it. Did it, like, drip somewhere or.
Fat Electrician
No, I'm getting it too.
Cody
Okay.
Rich
Really bad right here.
Fat Electrician
Oh, God.
Cody
That's why you're gonna open the thingy too.
Brandon Herrera
The big boys with muscles do those, right?
Cody
Open it and then give it a little.
Fat Electrician
All right, guys, welcome to Unsub.
Cody
Dude, that Joe Rogan talks about that.
Rich
The awe.
Cody
No, you have to open it, Brandon.
Nick
No, I was like, I'm smelling it from here. Like, it's wild. It's.
Cody
It was just. Smells like cat pee.
Nick
Take it, take it, take it.
Fat Electrician
Oh, God. I'm getting your residuals.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Nick
Oh, that shit has some recoil.
Fat Electrician
All right, you boys want to do a podcast now?
Rich
Let's.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, my God.
Rich
Starting defense. Seat at the table. Ah.
Fat Electrician
Rich, how's the Murph doing, man?
Rich
I've got three of them now.
Eli
They're multiplying.
Rich
I have three.
Fat Electrician
Because when we did, we did the podcast up there in Buffalo.
Cody
You still.
Rich
You're still doing it?
Nick
Yeah, sorry. I'm just. I'm not. All right.
Fat Electrician
We came up there for Buffalo, and you had. You brought the Merval for us. It was amazing. You have three now.
Rich
I have three.
Nick
Oh, dude.
Rich
So, yeah, I've got the. The MERV 19, which is the one that you guys are on.
Fat Electrician
What is the Merv?
Rich
So the Merv is the morale response vehicle for everybody that doesn't know. It's a fire truck that I was able to take and over the course of, like, a couple years during COVID turn into, like, a massive tailgating mobile. And I take veterans and first responders out to Bill's games and go to their birthday party or stag in western New York, and we get them hammered. All the booze, you know, I put the booze on it, and it's sponsored by you. You have the Donut Operator gaming station, where I have an N64 with some classic games on it.
Brandon Herrera
Oh.
Nick
Throwback gold nine.
Rich
So the MERV 19, that's the OG one. I got the MERV 13, which my buddy uses primarily for the Kia Memorial Ruck March in western New York every August. It's a veteran, non for profit. And then we just got the new one, and it's a massive rescue. And, like, It's. It's like 10ft wide. And when you open up the storage containers or the storage doors you can look through to the other side. Like you could just slide 30 racks of Bush light from one side to the other. And it's got this large pull out like metal like hook wall. You know, like you hang tools on the wall, like old workshops and stuff like that. You can pull it out. And our plan is to put TV on either side of it.
Nick
So did you just get that?
Rich
We got that last. We got like early autumn of 2024. So that's got to get a sound system put into it. It's got a. It's got an 18 foot spotlight on top of it. So you can. It's. It's got a. The indoor seating area has a desk and five outlets. You can. And it's got like a skylight. It's. It's a little intense.
Fat Electrician
Basically, if you guys don't know what Rich is putting down, he takes old fire trucks and turns them into the coolest bars ever.
Rich
I'm a bad.
Cody
And then you pick us up in it.
Fat Electrician
Oh, you pick us up on it.
Rich
And play Miley Cyrus in the usa.
Eli
I like how all the other live shows, it's like drop us off in the back and then we go to Buffalo. It's like pull up with the sirens on the merv.
Rich
It's my town. It's my people.
Cody
Own that. Oh, Autism month. This will be what, this week? Next week.
Rich
Speaking of fire trucks, Autism month.
Cody
Yeah, I mean that's as autistic.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, dude. Trucks and trains.
Cody
Yeah, see?
Brandon Herrera
Oh, and planes.
Fat Electrician
Don't forget those lanes.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, yeah.
Cody
We get. We got the huge month going on. So we're trying to crush 250,000, but we have a safe. We have the new autism shoes. We have the bidding for your one of one communism shoes. We have. I will say like when like moms love this shirt. Traveling. I've never been stopped by females for shirts. Oh my God. My son's autistic.
Rich
I love that shirt. I love that shirt.
Cody
Oh, that's a really dope shirt. I was like, oh, that. I like this. This is universal. It's not aggressive.
Rich
Do you like milfs that are definitely going to be packing snacks? Wear that shirt. Don't get laid.
Cody
So go check that out. We're super stoked for that. And you've all crushing it so far.
Eli
This is my free juice box shirt.
Nick
You know what I'm going to have as an after sex snack?
Rich
Your gushers and some of that string cheese.
Cody
New daddy ate my gushers. I do not like Him I will.
Rich
Set fire to his.
Nick
Daddy ain't my gusher. That's the real next autism shirt.
Eli
Your daddy ain't my.
Cody
My gosh.
Rich
It's just a kid. Just like this with, like an evil face. That could be a Halloween shirt, too. It's the same face, but you put like the Freddy Krueger fingers on it.
Nick
Hey, Eli.
Cody
What's up, Brandon?
Nick
Just getting ready for today's ad.
Cody
Oh, you mean the perfect gene, Brandon?
Nick
I do mean the perfect gene.
Cody
You want to touch my jeans, Brandon?
Brandon Herrera
Jeez. Fuck.
Nick
Thank you for that. Picture this 700,000.
Cody
Hold on, I'm picturing it. Okay, go.
Nick
Oh, this is going to be a long ad, huh? Picture this. 700,000 pairs of nuts rescued from bad jeans.
Cody
It's two per dude.
Nick
The hero, the perfect jean. Say goodbye to stiff cardboard denim and say hello to comfort.
Cody
These jeans feel like they were custom made specific, specifically tailored to you.
Nick
They stretch and they're durable enough to survive her pulling them down daily.
Cody
With 6 fits from skinny to thicck thiccc waist sizes from 26 to 50 and links from 26 to 38. I'll never be that. So it doesn't matter if you're a short king, a thick daddy, or anything in between. You can find the perfect fit for the body you're rocking. Let me touch you.
Nick
And for a limited time, our listeners get 15% off and free shipping if they go to ThePerfectGene NYC or just Google the perfect gene and use code UNSUB15 for 15% off.
Cody
It's time to stop crushing your balls and uncomfortable jeans by heading over to theperfectgene.nyc.
Nick
Fuck your khakis.
Cody
Free returns and free exchanges when you use code UNSUB15 at checkout. And one more time, our listeners get 15% off your first order plus free shipping.
Nick
Once Again, that's code unsub15 at checkout. After your purchase, they're going to ask you who sent you. This is not like a fight club thing where you don't talk about it. Please, by all means, tell them that we sent you their way. And remember your khakis. Get the perfect gene.
Fat Electrician
Have we talked about how much your son.
Cody
Oh, no, I don't know if we.
Fat Electrician
You took riding out and like, he loved New York. He loves seeing all the sights and stuff.
Rich
Origami.
Cody
We had one day to knock out all of New York's buildings because Ryden had a schedule to keep and there was like seven places.
Fat Electrician
Plus he had his schedule to keep, right? Yeah.
Rich
How Bad.
Nick
Does he want to go to Dubai?
Cody
Paris is his.
Rich
Really?
Cody
Yeah. He wants really Paris and England. Because he's like, and then I can see the Louvre and this and this and this and this. I'm like, okay, cool. So New York was land. Go walk and walk. And I was like, he's gonna want to go home soon. Yeah, homeboy. Other than when we went to the Statue of Liberty, he got really good. Like, really fucking good photo. Happy? Also cold. So he was miserable. He came back. I was like, ready? Ride the double duck or bus back, buddy, which he usually loves. He's like, no, I want you to a taxi. I am sleepy. I was like, are you sure? In the double decker bus, you love those. Like, no, I am good, daddy.
Nick
I was like, okay.
Cody
We hopped in, got home, passed out. He had the time of his life. And yeah. Now he's like, okay, that was great. Now I want to go to, I think. Oh, dc. Oh, yeah.
Nick
Gross.
Cody
Yeah. And then you get to find out they charge a hundred dollars per person right at the top of like the Empire State Building or anything.
Brandon Herrera
Wow.
Rich
That's $100 to go to the top of the Empire State Building. Probably part of the congestion tax. Thanks, Kathy Hochul. This shit's expensive, idiot.
Cody
Expensive.
Nick
Paying a hundred dollars to go to the top, you'd have to be retarded.
Brandon Herrera
I don't even. The new KFC Dunk It Bucket with juicy original recipe tenders. New mashed potato poppers, crispy fries, plus three sauces that fit right on top of the lid. So you can dunk anywhere. You can dunk at the game. Dunk. While security points to the no outside food sign. And dunk as 20,000 people watch you and your Dunk It Bucket get removed from the stadium. Dunk almost anywhere with the new $7 KFC dunk it bucket or get the double Dunk it bucket for 25. Prices and participation vary while supplies last. Taxes, tips and fees extra. Think it costs that much to go to the top of the box?
Rich
He's wearing a shirt.
Cody
Golden Dome.
Brandon Herrera
Golden Dome. What about it?
Cody
I was. I wrote a note. Not that.
Fat Electrician
Dude.
Nick
I thought that.
Cody
I thought the same thing. I wrote it down because you talked about info on the Golden Dome. I was like, I don't know what the fuck that is. I thought you were talking about your head.
Rich
Yeah, some really good head.
Nick
So.
Brandon Herrera
So depends. Do you want me to go, like, mistletism light or mistletoe heavy? Okay. All right. So the Golden Dome has been proposed by President Trump. He put it into Action. And what it is is it's a nationwide intercontinental ballistic missile defense for the United States. Now the right now has a program of record that is currently in use. It's called gmd, Ground Based Midcourse Defense. They use these things called gbi is Ground Based Interceptors. By the way, fun fact, they travel at Mach 33. Yeah, that's. That's for you guys. Yeah, that's the mistletism.
Rich
So those are fucking.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, they're cooking, they're moving. Downside is there's $77 million a piece and we only have 44 of them. So right now we have a whole bunch of different sensors. Like when it comes to the world of radars, America big makes better radars than everybody else in the fucking world. Like we have Cobra Dane radar, which is. I didn't even know where it was. It's on the Aleutian Islands in Alaska. And it's a low frequency radar and it's, it's been around since like the 1970s. And we use that one, we use this thing called sbx, which is the sea Based X band radar. We have one of them. And it watches the Pacific, the whole thing at the same time. Like America, all of it.
Nick
Just, just before we have to make some phone calls. This is all declassified.
Brandon Herrera
Yes, of course, of course I verified all this. And then that also.
Nick
Which means we have cooler sh.
Brandon Herrera
Much cooler. So then we have Aegis, the Aegis Combat System with the. What is it? The SPY one and SPY six and SPY seven from the United States Navy on board their Arleigh Burke class destroyers and their Taonderoga class cruisers. And then we also have these things called LRDRs, long range discrimination Radar.
Rich
Oh, that's like us, Cody. Yeah, Cody, you and I do long range discrimination.
Fat Electrician
That's only in like underprivileged neighborhoods.
Nick
No. Yeah, you guys were.
Cody
See everything.
Nick
You're beat cops. That's short range.
Rich
It's, you know, it's. He's still got it because we were driving through Texas the other day and he was just like minority and then he locked the doors and I was like, yeah, he's got it, dude.
Eli
The silhouettes that you guys shoot at in training, the color that.
Rich
What do we call them?
Nick
I'm gonna get a water. Anybody need anything?
Fat Electrician
No, no. Like, like just stop eating. I'm sorry. No, no, you're good. You're on your TISM right now. I have never seen anyone bully, bully people so well on Twitter. Like I thought, I thought I was good at bullying people on Twitter. But when people start talking about missiles and attacking the United States or attacking other countries, you're like, no, honestly, I learned from you.
Brandon Herrera
So I, I will say that I got Twitter when Brandon was running for office because you guys were in a knockdown, drag out battle with, with his opponent. And I was like, I just want to watch. And then I watched you of all people. I started seeing what Cody was saying on Twitter and I was like, I could do that. I could do that.
Nick
And now me and you are tag teaming Iran.
Brandon Herrera
It's my favorite pastime. Like, honestly, more than any social media I open on my phone, Twitter is number one. I'm just like, all right, let's see whose day I can ruin. Let's just scroll through this. It's my favorite pastime.
Nick
I love how they're parading around like the Iranian military is like parading around, cripples, information. They're just like, we could fuck up the United States. I'm just like, dude, you guys are the people that like are the tutorial of the game we actually want to play.
Brandon Herrera
I, I broke it down mathematically because I did a video USA versus. It's my USA versus the World Series, and it was versus Gaza. And what I ended up doing for most of the video was talking about the history of Gaza and Israel. And frankly, the more I read, the less I know who the fuck it belongs to. I have no idea why everyone wants to kill each other for that chunk of land, but you know, like, beautiful area. Yeah, I guess. But Gaza is. I originally I was like, let's just see if I can prove this mathematically. How fast did the US take Iraq? Okay, we took it in X amount of days. Was like 33 days. How many square miles is Iraq? Was like 7,000 square miles. Okay, how far, how big is Gaza? 141 square miles. I was like, okay, let's do some math, break this down. 26 minutes. By the way, United States could take Gaza in 26 minutes. That was on my list of shit to look up.
Nick
I mean, it's 20 minutes.
Eli
The Whoppers will be ready.
Nick
To be fair, in actuality, it's taken Israel a few thousand years.
Brandon Herrera
That's fair.
Fat Electrician
Don't make those people mad, Brandon.
Rich
I was going to say, I feel.
Brandon Herrera
Like those people is worse.
Eli
What are they going to do? Donate millions of dollars against this political campaign?
Brandon Herrera
God forbid.
Rich
Like a pack of them.
Fat Electrician
A super pack of them.
Nick
No, I don't know how much of that we can even keep. That was. I'm going to get Another water that I'm not going to get.
Cody
Just put black bars over Brandon's eyes.
Fat Electrician
Redacted.
Nick
Brandon.
Cody
Yeah, just pops up and it comes away punished.
Nick
Brandon.
Brandon Herrera
But jumping back to the golden dome. So is it. You know, a lot of people ask me, like, is this, Is this realistic? Okay, first of all, you got to understand where the United States of America, anything we want to do is realistic. Like, we just. We do shit because we can. We have a knife missile. We have just like, crazy amounts of that the United States has built. And it's just like, why not? Like, that's kind of the US Mentality. So is it going to be expensive? Yes. However, the goal is to build a network of sensors that all talk to each other. Now, sensors that talk to each other and say, hey, I see this here is an easy thing. The world has that. But sensors that say, hey, I'm looking at this thing. I need you to fire your missile and guide it until it's within my radar fan.
Nick
It's like we were talking about last time with the relay race of, like, sensors and missiles.
Brandon Herrera
Imagine like you're a sniper and you have spotters all along your path. And every time, like, you squeeze the trigger, your spotter, as it gets into their. Their flight path, takes control of that round and guides it where it needs to go. It's the same principle. It's a really difficult concept. Is it possible? Yes, absolutely. But then we get into, like, what is considered. And this is the part of my job that I really hate. It's kind of like playing God. We do what's called a CVT assessment. Criticality, Vulnerability and threat. Now, is Pawtucket's farm in fucking Pennsylvania important? Yes, because we need sustenance for our forces. However, is it important as where we build bullets, bombs, ships, things like that? No, it's not as important in the short term. So we need to protect those assets.
Nick
More like the fight club thing of, like, where they do the mathematics on, you know, is it more expensive to do a recall versus the lawsuits on the people they kill?
Brandon Herrera
Exactly, exactly. So the same thing with us is we.
Nick
Somebody got it.
Cody
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Like, you build a whole plan based off of what is the highest priority target. And it's the same thing that, like Israel does with the Iron Dome and Arrow three, is if your Iranian missile, which is hot dog shit and you know to begin with, is going to land in the middle of the desert, they're not even going to shoot at it. They're just going to laugh at you. Like when the, the USS Was it the Dwight D. Eisenhower? The Houthis fired at an American ship and they missed by 100 miles. I know those guys. Yeah, they missed by 100 miles.
Nick
Dear God.
Brandon Herrera
So I know.
Cody
What did they fire? That was that bad dog.
Brandon Herrera
A dog put a dog in a catapult, I guess. It's so bad, man.
Rich
Yeah.
Nick
Why didn't you just fire the. Why didn't you just throw the explosives in the catapult?
Brandon Herrera
Funny, we tried this thing the very, very, very, very many times, but. Yeah, no. So it's. Is it possible? Yes, but we're going to have to prioritize the highest assets first before we prioritize the lower assets. It's going to be an overwhelming amount of sensors that network together. You're going to need a large amount of manpower to man these sensors. And right now we're currently replacing our GBI's or ground based interceptors with the NGI's next generation interceptors from Lockheed Martin, which are $111 million apiece. And rumor has it they also travel at Mach 33. So there's my, my firing.
Cody
Like flying that fast. That is cooking.
Rich
How fast is the.
Cody
What's the fast jet blackbird.
Brandon Herrera
Mach 3 is the SR71.
Rich
Yeah.
Cody
And that is built loosely because the heat then expands.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Eli
Expanse of titanium.
Nick
But we don't have hypersonic missiles.
Brandon Herrera
I hate that so much. Based off of the logic of hypersonics, which is anything that travels over Mach 5. I don't like using Mach because Mach is speed. Speed like audio or what is it? Sound travels different at different altitudes. So pretty much anything that travels over one mile per second. We've had hypersonic since 1946 with the V2 missile program, which traveled at 1700 meters a second at its fastest altitude.
Nick
Well, the people that we paper clipped away from the V2 anyway, we just borrowed them.
Brandon Herrera
Like it's, you know, hey, you can go to prison or you can build us some really cool rockets.
Cody
Mach 33 is. Guess how many miles an hour?
Brandon Herrera
32,000, something like that.
Cody
25,000 miles an hour.
Eli
I mean, the SLAM missile was just designed to stay up in the atmosphere permanently, wasn't it?
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, they. So China actually has one like that. It's their DFZF, it's the DF17 and it's the hypersonic glide vehicle. But it, they fire it up and it just loiters in orbit as long as they need it to until they're ready to drop it down.
Nick
Kind of like what we were talking about with the. In the Video that you cameoed on my channel with the. The hot lapse on the.
Eli
The E52 chrome dome.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, operation Chrome Dome. That's a great one.
Nick
Where it's just like they just had a fucking aircraft in the air ready to nuke at any given moment, and they were just doing hot.
Eli
Well, I don't know about the Chinese one, but the. It was like the 1960s. We came out with the slam.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, the slam. I think it was also, if I'm not mistaken, it's been a little while since I read about the slam. Wasn't that also the one that they had nuclear propulsion with?
Eli
Yes, small nuclear Slam missile was a nuclear propelled missile that would go super high up and literally just do hot laps around the planet in perpetuity forever until they said, oh, land here. And then it would just.
Nick
That's the sort of. That makes me kind of okay with paying taxes.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, there's like. That's pretty cool. It's. Well, so here's the thing. When you, when you talk about hypersonics, you run into what's called the rocket problem. And this is. This is my TISM coming off. Right. So the rocket problem is based off of physics. How fast can you make that object going with the. The thrust that it is producing? But you also have to factor in wind resistance, heat, drag, everything. Yeah. So fuel. So like ballistic missiles nowadays, they.
Rich
They.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, they Travel at like Mach 9 or something like that, but that's when they're at apogee. The phases of flight of a ballistic missile or launch boost, apogee separation and terminal. Most systems engage in the terminal phase, like thaad, Terminal High Altitude Air Defense. And then Patriot is in the terminal phase. The only exception to this is gmd, which is in the mid course. So that is usually right around apogee. That's why it has to move at Mach 33, because it has to meet that target when it's moving that fucking fast. Like, dude, missiles are so cool. Like, for example, thaad, Right. Terminal High Altitude Air Defense, which by the way, on paper is the most effective air defense system in existence. It has had four shots and four kills in American history. That is the only time THAAD has ever fired and has killed everything it's ever fired at.
Rich
What was it fired at?
Cody
Dogs.
Brandon Herrera
It was more dogs.
Rich
Goddamn, I ran. I, by the way, SLAM missile, nickname for my penis. It's also a loitering munition waiting to be called.
Brandon Herrera
There we go.
Nick
It turns out the THAD was used exclusively by the atf.
Brandon Herrera
So Thaad has been fired at Houthi missiles and Iranian missiles. But that is really cool. And I'm saying this just because again, I'm not Thaad qualified. But this is. I was talking to one of my students and they were kind of explaining this to me. Unclass all my classes on class.
Rich
I love you.
Nick
You're explaining. You're like, I'm not qualified on it. I'm like, homie, none of us knew this existed.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, that's fair. But Thad is the epitome of. But first, let me take a selfie. Right. So this is the way it works. It's a two stage missile, takes off like. Like a bat out of hell. Right. Like moving wave. Makes Patriot look like a slow goat, if that makes sense to everybody. Flies past it. Yeah. Separates, Separates. Then the warhead takes a picture of the object it's supposed to intercept. It then sends that picture back to the radar, which then does an infrared like or like digital overlay and says, yep, that's the target.
Nick
And it sends it directly to Chat GPT. They do a studio Ghibli photo of the target and then it intersects.
Rich
Do they then make it one of those action figures?
Brandon Herrera
Exactly. That action figure tells me I need to go to the gym.
Eli
But what is miss number five look like?
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, right. But yeah, it overlays the picture and then boom. It just smokes. It sends. Sends it right for. It sends the warhead right for it. Which is, I think is one of the coolest interceptors that we have. Like, we have a lot of interceptors out there. That's one of the coolest.
Cody
Also terrifying. We have that tech and we just don't use it that much.
Nick
With you explaining the. What the Gold Dome is supposed to be, I'm just kind of surprised that we don't have something like that already.
Rich
So.
Brandon Herrera
Right.
Nick
That we know about.
Brandon Herrera
So GMD is again the program of record. We just, It's a limited system now when people like. So we have 40 missiles in California and four of them in Alaska. And that sounds like a lot of missiles until you realize they send between two to five interceptors at every single target to get that high probability of kill. So you run through that really quick, fast and in a hurry. We need a lot of interceptors, but you also need qualified people who are able to fire those interceptors, which is the problem. We run into like air defense right now. Our attention rate, like maintaining people in the air defense branch is really difficult because we just run them ragged. Because every COCOM commander out there Thinks air defense is an infinite resource. Well, we'll just put Patriot there. We'll just put Thad there. And these guys are like, you know, 12 months out, nine or 12 months back, and then 12 months out, like they're constantly deploying. We have. We never slowed down when g. What ended? Air defense never slowed down. We're run ragged right now, but there is a big push to expand our branch exponentially. Like, it's finally. It's really good because the powers that be, I don't know if it's. I don't know if it's the Pentagon. I don't know where it is, but they're like, we need air defenders. And they have been pushing people through. Now we don't have enough instructors. We have people at the AIT Advanced Individual Training Schoolhouse. And they're having to wait there for nine to 12 months before they can even enter class, because. Class.
Eli
Well, now you're making me feel bad about getting you to court.
Nick
I know this is a perfect time for you to just do the Jake Gyllenhaal bounce out, but it's.
Brandon Herrera
I mean, it's. It's such a cool, like, program. Like, we can absolutely do it. So I worked. Okay, I got to be very careful here and thread some line. I worked on a program called ibcs, which is the Integrated Air Missile Defense Battle Command System.
Nick
That's what Eli has. Yeah.
Cody
I can't have milk.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah. No cheese. No milk. No dairy. Yeah. And that system is any shooter, any sensor. So, like, it passes Interceptors in real time. So I. It was probably the highlight of my career. Been all downhill since they're 2019 and this is all in class. You can look it up. IBCS Flight Test 5. You can see it on YouTube. It's all there. I engaged two missiles that were flying a cruise missile profile low and fast. They were maneuvering well. I couldn't see them with my sensor, but I had other sensors networked in with me. So I fired circumstantially at nothing. And in the middle of the engagement, F35s grabbed my birds and set them into the targets, which is terrifying that you can use surface to air missiles with F35 air picture.
Fat Electrician
Oh. So the pilots drove them to where they needed.
Brandon Herrera
Pretty much. Cool. Yeah.
Eli
That's what they're doing with the new F15EX.
Fat Electrician
Oh, yeah, the EX.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Eli
That's the whole strategy is they just took the F15s and made them be able to carry way more ammo, like way more missiles. They're basically A missile truck and the F35. So it's like an F35 and four F15s. And the F35 is like the mothership 10,000ft above the F15s using its sensor. And it's just sending the targeting data directly to the F15s.
Nick
So you turn them into Merc stuff. A 200 million dollar Wi Fi router.
Eli
That'S pretty literally like. It's like a.
Rich
A.
Eli
It's like a mothership in an alien movie.
Brandon Herrera
F35 is like a computer with wings. It is the smartest thing that has ever flown. And its sensor is like, its radar is beast. And it was cool as like after I did the shot, which was, I'm so glad we hit our targets. I was worried, but I'm so glad it was. It was a preliminary test. And then afterwards the pilots were like radio down to us. They're like, you guys want to see us do some maneuvers? Look, if I ever say no to that, just go ahead and chop my dick off, man. Like, do I want to see F35s dollars do backflips and barrel rolls over top of me? Absolutely I do.
Nick
But you had good effect on target. The wedding. Never saw it coming.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, that wedding party in a rectangle out there in the desert somewhere.
Cody
Hey, Brandon, you ever wake up in your bed feeling like you just fought in a war?
Brandon Herrera
All clear.
Nick
Yeah, why do you ask?
Cody
You ever wake up and feel like you slept in a sauna?
Nick
Yeah, I believe that's called night sweats.
Cody
Means you got a trash mattress, Brandon.
Nick
Why are we talking like Macho Man, Randy Savage?
Cody
Cause today we're talking about her premier sponsorship, ghostbed.com. ghostbed mattresses are built with cooling technology.
Brandon Herrera
So you're not sweating through your sheets like some street bum.
Cody
You stay cool, comfortable. Most importantly, you sleep through your night.
Brandon Herrera
I got you for three minutes, but I got ghostbed all night.
Cody
You know what's longer than three minutes? Brandon?
Brandon Herrera
Any sexual experience I've ever had, Ghostbed's.
Cody
20 to 25 year warranty.
Brandon Herrera
And you've got a 101 night free trial to test it out.
Cody
Oh yeah, I. And you know what, brother? They don't just sell mattresses.
Brandon Herrera
They have bases, pillows, sheets, the whole empanada.
Cody
Just pick your mattress and grab a bundle.
Brandon Herrera
And right now, Goosebud's giving you 50% off everything.
Cody
Just use unsubscribe at checkout and save 50%. Head over to ghostmen.com.
Nick
Unsubscribe, that's ghostbed.com.
Cody
Unsubscribe use code, unsubscribe.
Brandon Herrera
I'll show up under your bed and make ghost noises until you do.
Cody
Go.
Brandon Herrera
Now, I just want to reiterate. None of this was in the script.
Cody
I don't know. We started talking like Randy Savage.
Nick
So I. I have a question that I'm a. Not sure if you can answer. And I'm not sure I know know. I want to know the answer.
Brandon Herrera
Okay.
Nick
You're talking about, like, those things, like, they're. They're being like, the most intelligent things that have ever flown. And like, all this data and everything. To what degree is the DoD interfacing AI into stuff like that?
Brandon Herrera
So I don't know fully because the DoD compartmentalizes information really well. But I will tell you, it was brought up to me on a project that I worked on and myself and several other NCOs who are really competent. What we did is we gave the AI a moral dilemma. So when I was talking about the. The CBT assessment, Criticality, vulnerability, and threat. We prioritize the threats one through date.
Cody
Don't do it, Rich. I don't even know what you're gonna say.
Eli
Don't do it, Rich.
Nick
Fire and forget.
Rich
Richard, just go on. We're doing a good job. Oh, God, I'm proud of you. You haven't embarrassed me yet. You've done great. So I'm not gonna you up because you're doing a good job. Okay. All right. Set. I'm sitting back and letting you shine.
Brandon Herrera
Thank you.
Rich
Don't.
Brandon Herrera
All right, so we prioritize the targets one through eight. And then I think it was like target three or four we just bombarded with missiles. We threw everything at it. Now the logical response is to reserve your missiles on those higher priority assets because they are a higher priority. The moral answer is to, hey, how about we protect these things equally? And if priority one isn't getting smoked, we. We send the resources to priority four.
Rich
So it's separate but equal.
Brandon Herrera
You couldn't. You couldn't resist.
Rich
I got to keep it. You gotta segregate them.
Eli
I get it.
Brandon Herrera
So the system, the AI prioritized it as a lower priority and didn't. It did the logical thing instead of the moral thing. And that's why we were like, look.
Nick
Was that a pass or a fail?
Brandon Herrera
That was a fail. Okay, so our. Like, for us, what we ended up like the agreement that we kind of came to, and this is not under NDA. This was just like a separate thing. We came to the agreement that AI can augment operators But AI cannot make lethal decisions on behalf of operators. So that's where we came to. Like, if it can give me information faster and at the right speed, so I know what I'm looking for. I'm all for it, but it should never be able to pull the trigger.
Cody
It's like.
Eli
It's like Brandon driving. Like the car is driving. He just kind of has one hand on the steering wheel.
Nick
Yeah, the. The full self driving that is basically like I. If I close my eyes, it yells at you. Kind of. If I'm texting, it yells at you.
Brandon Herrera
Dude, I was in.
Cody
It says it doesn't see your face. It's like you're not making. Maintaining eye contact with the road.
Nick
It's crazy how good it is.
Rich
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
Do we see the. The. The. The thing the White House released the other day? The Houthis gathering in the circle rectangle thing.
Brandon Herrera
So rumor has it, and this is through the rumor mill, I have no way to confirm this, but that. That was a jasm, and I think that was the first time. Jasm. Jasm is the joint.
Eli
Was it joint jism missile.
Rich
I had a massive jasm this morning.
Brandon Herrera
Joint something or joint airborne standoff strike missile? I think I'm shooting in the dark there. I'm sure somebody will correct me if I get it wrong, and so are they.
Nick
But it seemed to land.
Brandon Herrera
Did you see afterwards, this looked like the moon? Like, it was perfect be.
Fat Electrician
Did you see that one?
Nick
Yeah, yeah, I just saw the President tweeted it.
Eli
That's how I was.
Cody
I was like, oh, they're just tweeting this now.
Brandon Herrera
That is, bro.
Nick
President of the United States is tweeting snuff films. But that's wild. I'm here for it. The.
Fat Electrician
On live leak, we used to watch the President's like, look at this, yo.
Brandon Herrera
But I. I've seen a lot of predator feeds. I've never seen one that. That clear. Like, have you ever seen one that clear? I've never seen one that clear.
Nick
Dude.
Brandon Herrera
Tech is getting like, that was 4K wide angle, 120 frames. Like, that was beautiful.
Nick
We're getting close to the slow mo replay.
Brandon Herrera
So good, man.
Rich
Would you say you taking sponsors an orgasm? Steak is underneath it.
Brandon Herrera
Just like the line.
Nick
Like steak batting this. This killing of 18 Houthis brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings.
Brandon Herrera
There was a whole lot more than 18 there, man. I think afterwards, like, you see all their bodies just blown out. I'm sorry, that's up. I shouldn't like, make fun of that.
Cody
Yes, that's the worst thing that's been said on this podcast.
Brandon Herrera
Like, I'm a reasonable person, but I don't. Like, I'm. I'm not one of those, like, I want to negotiate with terrorists. We should talk with terrorists. Like, you should be eradicated. Like, you're either a terrorist or a terrorist sympathizer. You should give us the information. We'll pay you handsomely. Like. Like when I was in Afghanistan and someone gave us intel, like, hey, the Taliban are here. This is where their stuff is. Blah, blah, blah. You got paid, like, bank, like $10,000 a pop for good intel. So you're either a capitalist or you're a sympathetic for bum.
Nick
Fuck Afghanistan. Like, you're a king.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, yeah. It's 47 to 1. When I was there was the turnover rate. So that's what, $470,000 or 4.7 million? I don't. I don't math in public. Public.
Cody
So you quite fine, though?
Brandon Herrera
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's just one piece of intel. Like, you can leave Afghanistan after that. Like, I live like a king. I'm out.
Nick
Oh, unless we forget about you.
Cody
I'm trying to think. You know, the story. I'm not sure if what you're allowed to talk about. About the.
Rich
I was gonna talk about that.
Cody
Oh, God.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Rich
That was one of the things I was gonna bring up.
Cody
And then you remember.
Eli
Yeah, I'm lost.
Nick
I don't know how much of that you can say, but.
Rich
Well, the investigation's over.
Brandon Herrera
Oh.
Cody
So we're good?
Rich
Yeah.
Eli
Ready to go.
Fat Electrician
All right.
Rich
Why?
Nick
Buckle up, buttercup.
Rich
This is the one I was gonna. I was told you about.
Brandon Herrera
Okay.
Rich
For a couple days. I have a body. I have a body. I did an investigation on a guy for sleeping with a 12 year old, and he unsubscribed.
Fat Electrician
Stateside.
Rich
Are we talking about, like, stateside? He.
Cody
Okay.
Rich
He unsub. Like, this happened last week. He unsubscribed from life.
Fat Electrician
From life.
Rich
Because I stuck on an investigation that I could have stopped because it was going nowhere, but because I had time and it wasn't really, like, setting me back. I kept the event investigation alive.
Nick
And most importantly, because he was guilty.
Rich
Well, I. I knew. I knew that if I could just get a certain piece of evidence, then it would lead me to him. It was just a waiting game.
Nick
Yeah.
Rich
And I'm not saying that there's like, I'm not on anybody. Like, I'm just saying that I decided that I was going to keep going on this case where I Could have let it slide because I was hitting.
Nick
Brick walls telling it for the audience sake that you didn't. Just so you're like, yeah, I made this guy like, you knew he done the.
Rich
Oh, he admitted to me. I'll tell, I'll tell the full story. But he, he, he chose to unsubscribe.
Cody
So probably lead with what, Brandon's.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Cody
For your career.
Eli
Yeah.
Nick
Once you realize like, this guy's a. It's like, oh, all of a sudden I care a lot less about his side.
Eli
That was, it was, it was a muscle, like instinctive reaction on his part. Oh, you guys bully people off the Internet. Wait, do you see what I did?
Cody
So this guy cut me off.
Brandon Herrera
I will never talk that on Twitter. I just want you to know I will never top that.
Rich
So I'll try to make this short and sweet and give you the information that I, I think I'm allowed to give because once again, the investigation's over. But I was, I got called to the hospital where a 12 year old was. This person went on the Internet on a dating site and then met up with somebody on the dating site who was an older person.
Nick
So the 12 year old was on a dating.
Rich
12 year old was on a dating site.
Nick
Jesus.
Rich
It happened. You'd be surprised how often that happens. Dude, the Internet is a scary place for teenagers, underage kids. The amount of like blackmail that young men get because they'll send a dick pic to somebody that they met on Instagram. Like, I'm talking like 10, 12, 14, 16. You know, kids that are just like, you know, turning, going into puberty. And then they take that photo and then send them like a template that says, we will show your Instagram handle and your face and your dick that you sent us unless you give us money. Like, there are tons of teenagers that fall for that trap.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, my sister works with that all the time because he's child crimes unit.
Rich
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
So same.
Rich
So like this kid is, is, has a hard life and because of that hard life, made some bad decisions. Regardless, she's. You look, it's not like, oh, what a well developed teenager that young. You're a young lady. Oh, she looks like she's eight. No, no, she's a 12 year old. I don't want to give a physical description because I think that's too far. But she's an obvious 12 year old.
Eli
Like prepubescent.
Rich
Yeah. Like goofy looking hair and face and awkward. You know, if this person walked into the house, he'd be like 12. Do you want to play? Are you here for Pokemon? You know, that's why the wrong person.
Nick
To ask because not like the 17 year old, a fake ID like it's.
Eli
Straight up, very obvious, not an icon situation.
Rich
And do this dating app. They were very helpful. But it was. You want to go down a conspiracy thing. It was like borderline satanic. It was like devil horns and everything and all about kinks and all up. It was very weird. Anyway, so she gets on the dating app, she meets this older guy, which, which happens more often than you think. He picks her up, brings her home, they do the deed, drops her off back home with Uber.
Fat Electrician
There you go, tracking it now.
Rich
Mistake one, mother. So I'm unfortunately, and I don't want to give away too much, but there was, there was a. Because there's another investigation with this poor kid. And this one's. Yeah, and I think this one's. I think that one's done. But if it's not, either way, the kid was a mess and it made the investigation very difficult. And we were like.
Nick
I was specifically just cooperation wise or like what?
Rich
I can't say. I can just say that the kid was in rough shape because of what happened. And so that stonewalled my investigation and. And I was kind of like stuck. So eventually what I was able to do, and I'm working with the district attorney's office, which were phenomenal, is I was able to get a warrant for Uber. And so Uber gave me the guy's email address, phone number, his name, and I was able to backtrack that, figure out if he had a registered vehicle, if he had a driver's license, which state, what were the addresses. And I had several addresses. And then before I went home that day, I just jumped in my, my truck and started driving around and going to these different locations to see if I could find his. And I found his car. And I was like, there's this. And I see it and it's parked in apartment number so. And so spot. And I'm like, oh, that's. That matches with something else that I have. So I get another detective with me. And the thing is, the following day I'm like, hey, I gotta interview this guy. It's called a non custodial interview, which means if you're not in custody, what don't you have to read Cody, your Miranda rights? You don't have to read them, they're Miranda rights. So people are more the law school.
Nick
I was like, yeah, I was shooting in the dark.
Brandon Herrera
I was thinking the same thing.
Rich
Yeah, it's not immigration law. I'll ask you those questions.
Nick
I get so turned on when you're talking about being a cop, actually doing police work, real police work to help people. It's super cool.
Rich
Even when I was going after gangs and guns, like, the ATF guys that were with me were, like, going after bad guys. The ATF division in Buffalo is phenomenal.
Nick
Some of those guys really do, like, good work. Like, not to. Not to take the.
Fat Electrician
Tell us about the atf, Brandon.
Nick
Not to take the side of the ATF on fucking literally anything. But, like, there are, like, legitimate roles that they play as far as, like.
Rich
In there that go after gang members and not, like, trying to screw businesses over because they put a 1 instead of a 0 at the end of a investigations.
Nick
Things where there's, like, a real victim. It's like, well, yeah, there's, like, real. Real shit there. But, like. Yeah, no, but there are also plenty of paper pushers that just want to, like, take out mom and pop businesses, make their careers.
Rich
Yeah. Bureaucrats.
Nick
Do the arm brace touch. The arm brace touched. I'm putting you prison.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
Now my career is going to advance.
Rich
So speaking of bad touch.
Nick
Oh, God.
Rich
So I interview. Why I love it myself if I don't make jokes about it. So take that, YouTube. So my buddy and I interview the guy, and it's. It's always like a game to me to be like. To, like, try and get them, even if, like, that's how I kind of stay sane, is if a kid gets touched or there's the potential of a kid getting touched. We do interviews to see whether or not the kid makes some sort of statement that something happened. And if they don't, then I'm like, sweet that nothing happened. False alarm. Nobody's upset. That's great. But if a kid is, and he gives, like, a statement that something happened, I'm like, yeah, we're gonna get this dude. So it's like. It's a weird way to say win, win, you know, but it's a way that I'm like, all right, I've got focus to try and get this bad guy. Right. Anywho, we talked to dude. We're like, hey, hey, buddy, let's get out here. Let's talk a little bit about some stuff.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, you're his friend right Now.
Rich
I'm his a. I'm. I went through. I want. Honestly, I want to get this guy on your podcast. Not my place to put guys on your podcast, but he's absolutely brilliant, and he came in and taught our entire detective division how to do interviews over the past year. And he's an old MI5 guy and did undercover work in the IRA and was busting like, like bomb placers in the IRA. And I'd love to get him on here, dude.
Cody
A hundred percent, dude. He's super interesting.
Rich
And all he does is teach how to interview now. And when I tell you, he'll get you to talk just by guiding you. Guiding you and listening. He creeped me out when we were in class. Holy. Did he scare the out of me. Anyway, so I'm using these.
Nick
I don't think I want him on the podcast, though. He's.
Rich
He's got some stories. He's very.
Brandon Herrera
An hour in Brandon's crying.
Nick
We did some on the podcast. I didn't think I wanted.
Eli
He comes on the podcast to just slowly puts a Burger King crown on Cody.
Rich
Oh, no.
Fat Electrician
I was saying get him and Christian Craghead on.
Nick
That would be very fun.
Rich
I was like, you should meet him. Because they were. I. I bet you that they were. They know they have the same friends. Yeah, I bet you they have the same friends.
Cody
Wild.
Rich
So I interview this guy and part of the interview techniques are like, you be honest with them with what you can. If you lie to them, that doesn't really help. And it also doesn't really make you look good.
Brandon Herrera
It.
Rich
You can absolutely do it. There's nothing wrong with it. But one of the ways that you tell the truth is I go, hey, man, I'm investigating this woman for. I'm investing this woman and her relationships that she had with people potentially online. But any of her relationships, which is true. But also keyword there is. I'm saying woman, not child. Right. And no Miranda rights, because he can leave at any time. It's non custodial. A non custodial interview. And I. He admits that he has sex with her. I show him a photo. He's like, yep, yeah, that's her. She's a different. She used a different name, but yeah, that's her. I'm like, sweet.
Nick
What is his incentive to be doing this? Right? Like, out of, like, why is he being so open?
Rich
Because he's helping me investigate herself.
Nick
What's she under investigation for as far.
Rich
As, like, can't talk about that. I can only tell you that I'm investigating her and the relationships that she's been having with other men.
Nick
Well, so he just openly admitted to a minor.
Rich
People want to help. He didn't know that. Well, he knew. He knew, you know, what's amazing is a lot of want to talk. I don't know why. So they want to get it off their chest. They want to say the quiet thing out loud.
Cody
I don't know why, but a lot.
Rich
Of them want to talk.
Cody
They want to show. It's a show of power. It's like Mr. Swirly Face. I think we might have touched base on that.
Nick
The. The Photoshop guy. The. The swirl. That was like. Like a serial.
Cody
Yeah, serial. And then they unswirled it to find, like, five years of investigation. FBI was like, wait, what happens if we reverse swirl? His face just came perfectly into picture. It was like, oh, that's the guy.
Fat Electrician
So were you doing the, like the Django Unchained thing where you don't go there to buy the Mandingo?
Brandon Herrera
No, no, seriously.
Fat Electrician
Seriously.
Rich
I go there to buy.
Fat Electrician
No, yeah, you're not going there to fucking buy his wife. You're going there to buy the biggest Mandingo. So, like, you're talking about the woman. This, this, and this.
Rich
I'm talking about Dingo.
Fat Electrician
And they're gonna feel. Yeah, they're gonna reveal the wife, Django's wife, on the side. Like, that's investigatory.
Brandon Herrera
Does Buffalo PD have a wood chipper?
Rich
But not necessary.
Fat Electrician
You didn't go there to buy the farm. You went there to buy the cow.
Rich
That's right. That's right. But I was talking about the farm. So I'm talking about the thing that I'm investigating. Right, but I'm. I'm not lying to him when I'm saying that it's not him. Yeah, I'm not really investigating you. I'm investigating the relationship, which is absolutely true. I don't give a about you. I give a about what the relationship was between you and her. Right. So it's the truth. And he makes these admissions, and then he made what I. What I think is probably. I'll just say. I'll just say what he said.
Nick
A life ending mistake.
Rich
Maybe I'll just say what he said and then you could. You could say what you. What you feel about it. He said like, yeah, we. All right, well, we didn't really have sex. We had sexual relations. And I'm like, okay, what's that mean? And he goes, well, you know, I received oral sex from her. And I go, okay, with a condom. And he's like, yeah, with a condom. You get a blowjob with a condom? Yeah. Has anybody ever done that? Not with a hooker. Like, the second I heard him, like. And I looked at My partner and we both had, like, this moment. We're like, like. Well, that's horseshit. You had a blow job without a. With a condom on. Okay, all right, whatever. Apparently I am far darker than you guys because that's exactly where my head went. And nobody here is like, oh, yeah, that's.
Eli
Anyway, I mean, I was with you.
Nick
Yeah, that sounds like the. The laziest attempt to reel back what he said.
Rich
Oh, then. And it's exactly what he loves.
Cody
Latex.
Nick
We do it all.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Rich
The flavor of a Trojan rimmed. Nothing like chewing on a bubble gum wrapper for, you know, 10 minutes. That's great.
Brandon Herrera
It's like sucking on a balloon animal. That's what.
Rich
Basically the most disappointing balloon animal.
Nick
Like sucking on the tread on the side of the road that's supposed to wake you up if you fall asleep.
Rich
So we leave. We leave the. We leave him from question.
Nick
Glad you enjoyed that, Nick. Oh.
Cody
You pull back fast.
Eli
It's like a little rip cord.
Nick
It's like ripping a beyblade. Oh, this is really funny in any other context.
Cody
Hey, Brandon.
Nick
Yes, Eli?
Cody
When you think of businesses that are just crushing it, Bonker onset, what's the first thing to enter your mind?
Nick
That's easy, Eli. A good child labor law attorney, huh, Eli? I said Shopify. What did you hear?
Cody
Actually, it was the overlooked secret behind the business.
Nick
Like I said, Shopify.
Cody
Oh. Which brings us to today's ad, Shopify.
Nick
I mean, we use Shopify on a daily basis.
Rich
That's right.
Cody
We use Shopify for bunker Brandon and Unsub, those magical shoes we have where they're linked to Shopify, Shopify to the mythical store bunker branding. And because of Shopify, they communicate.
Nick
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Cody
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Nick
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Cody
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Nick
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Cody
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Nick
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Cody
Over to shopify.com unsubpod to upgrade your selling today.
Nick
Shopify.com unsubpod all lowercase.
Rich
Yeah, sorry to bring it down. Don't worry. The end. The end.
Cody
The payoff.
Rich
Well, there's a funny spot after the end.
Nick
Really?
Rich
Yeah. So. So we leave, we go back, and, you know, just like anything, when you get, like, an admission to guilt, you're like, fuck, yeah, this is awesome. And so we go back, I talk with the ada, and we decide, like, sweet. We're not going to ask him any more questions. He said, enough. He's already trying to back out of stuff. Let's get a search warrant for his phone. We'll get in his phone and see what's in his phone. So there's two types of search warrants that you need to get in somebody's phone, right? One, you need a search warrant to collect the evidence to grab the phone. They need a search warrant to get in the phone, right. If they don't give you permission, jailbreaking or whatever you want to call it, busting into an iPhone takes a long time. Weeks, right? So what you want to do is you want to get them to sign a. Permission to search even. Doesn't matter when. As long as he gives. Gives you the code and says you can look in it, that's going to make it so much faster. So I'm like, sweet. I call him up. I'm like, hey, dude, why don't you come over? I want to, you know, I got to talk to you for a second. Stop by. He's like, okay. So he comes over and I'm. My buddy is my buddy whose nickname. He's 6 foot 4 and over 3. He's like over 350. He's just. He's slimmed down from over 400 pounds. His nickname is the Slim Reaper because he's massive, but his nickname is the Slim Reaper because he's had three guys close the investigation for him. And I've. I've said this before. We call it a baptized in the Niagara River. He's had two guys walk into the Niagara river during December and just, like, drown themselves. Because he was like, hey, what's going on? You touched a kid. I'm the investigator. And they were like, sweet.
Fat Electrician
Oh, my hero.
Nick
Not that I have much sympathy for those people, but that is. We were talking about this a little yesterday. That is a. A wild way to yourself drowning is to intentionally drown yourself in a river.
Rich
Oh, the United river is crazy rough, too. It took a police officer, one of our divers. It.
Nick
He.
Rich
His safety line got cut. We don't know what happened, but a safety line got cut and he drowned years ago. Yeah. Good guy, too.
Brandon Herrera
But this guy, you know, totally off the topic of that. That. That diver. And I mean, that's awful that it happened, but, you know, the fact that two people have done this in the Niagara River. This guy deserves, like, a medal from the buffalo.
Nick
What are the odds he's doing it?
Rich
What's that?
Fat Electrician
What are the odds that Slim.
Nick
Slim's tossing.
Fat Electrician
He's dextering people.
Brandon Herrera
He's.
Rich
He.
Brandon Herrera
It's a public service.
Rich
He does have the tism. So he could dexter the out of these people and be like, that's what happened.
Nick
I'm just saying. And tell me if that's too far to say as a joke, but he.
Cody
Just chucks them in at 350. Slim down 350.
Rich
Yeah.
Cody
Well, the one guy didn't, so.
Rich
I mean, at least that guy might not have been him.
Cody
Jesus Christ.
Rich
You know? Like, how do you say, like, oh, he walked in or he was politely tossed in. You know, who knows? Politely.
Eli
Lightly tossed.
Rich
Respectfully, sir, I apologize for this.
Fat Electrician
I politely fucking drowned.
Cody
He doesn't have to throw him in. He's just like, get in. Get in. Jump.
Rich
So that comes in.
Brandon Herrera
That comes in.
Fat Electrician
That's some true detective shit right there, man.
Nick
That's like the accountant, where he's just like, you know, hey, we could do some awful to you and your wife. Or you could just take all that insulin.
Brandon Herrera
Yep.
Fat Electrician
Anyways, your friends. Rad.
Rich
So my friend's awesome. He's great. And eventually he's going to go to homicide very soon. I hope he's still.
Fat Electrician
I hope.
Rich
Love you, Biddy. And so he's down there with me talking to this guy as he comes in, and I'm about to take his phone, and this guy's talking in circles like, hey, buddy, listen, I'd like to know if you'd give me your phone so I can look through it. Oh, do I need a lawyer? Hey, you can have whatever you want, man. I'm just asking you, would you like to freely give up your phone? Because I want that permission to search.
Fat Electrician
Yeah.
Rich
I want to make it easier for the investigation. 20 minutes of it. And, like, my buddy's, like, looking at me like, dude, just give him the warrant. I'm over this. And I'm like, all right, will you give me your phone? Yes or no, Will you give me your phone? You should know, here's a search warrant. Oh, you're gonna take my phone anyway? Yes. Can I look through my phone route? No, I gave you the search warrant. That phone is mine now. Even though it's in your hands. Give me the phone. He's like, okay. And he goes, well, I still want to show that I'm helping out the investigation. I was like, sign this permission to search, Give me your passcode, and let me go in the phone. And he's like, and this is. This is when I was like, there's something on this phone is. He goes, so? Like, what? You. Will you. Will you. What are you gonna look at? Like, what do you look at? I'm like, well, we download your entire phone, and we look at your entire phone. Like, you're like, what do you mean, look my entire phone? I go, everything. I look at your entire phone. He goes, like, what do you take off of it? Like, there's personal information on there. I go, listen, I'm gonna look at your entire phone, everything in it, and you've got. If you get a dick pic with your girlfriend or there's a sex video with you and another, like, somebody. That's what. I don't care. If it has to do with the case, we'll keep it. If it doesn't, we won't. But I'm going to look in your entire phone. And he's like, okay. So he signs the permission to search. And then I go upstairs and I turn in the phone and I start writing my notes for the case. And then the next day, I'm notified homicide is at my guy's apartment. And I'm like, why is homicide. I know I. I know why, but why is homicide at my guy's apartment? And I call up the homicide detective that's there, and I'm like, hey, dude, what's up? And he's like, hey, do you know? So. And so I go, yep. He's like, well, he's dead. And I'm like, really? What happened? He goes, well, he wrote a letter and he sent a text message for somebody to come to my house and check me out. I'll see you later. And. And he's gone.
Nick
They did not, in fact, see him later.
Rich
Well, they did just not alive now.
Cody
Was it an easy death for himself?
Rich
I can't tell. I can't. I don't feel like I can say how he did it.
Cody
We can cut this part, and then we can give reactions.
Rich
Yeah, so we'll cut this part out. We can give reactions. He.
Nick
Whoa.
Cody
And then.
Rich
And. And of now, I assume that he missed the first time because this is just. This is assumption. I don't know for a fact, but there's. There's two. There's two points. I don't want it because I'm trying to. I'm trying to make sure that I Can say the story without having all this deleted shit it.
Brandon Herrera
I mean, on the plus side, at least he cooperated with the investigation enough to.
Rich
You can keep that part in there.
Cody
Open and shut case, boys.
Rich
So recording.
Nick
He did the ultimate cooperation.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, I don't want to cost the taxpayers any money.
Rich
I don't want. Yeah, that's that literally, it's. The investigation's over and you're like, okay, so.
Nick
Yep, he became a member of DOGE for three minutes.
Brandon Herrera
That's how you cut government spending.
Rich
So.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, man.
Nick
Story ends a lot of money.
Brandon Herrera
My face hurts. I've been smiling so much.
Cody
The reaction to how it happened and you're just like, what?
Nick
What's funny is that people are gonna like take little sections of this out of context, but we're just over here laughing over the. Definitely.
Eli
We need a morbid R rated version of Scooby Doo with Rich.
Nick
Oh, my God.
Rich
Scooby Dooby Doo.
Brandon Herrera
This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Upgrade your business with Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet.
Rich
Shop.
Brandon Herrera
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Nick
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Rich
You've got some holes to fill now.
Nick
Oh, my God.
Fat Electrician
Everything was going good until Rich showed up.
Nick
Yeah, it was old man Jenkins again.
Rich
So I'm glad. Yeah, so it caught me off guard. So the day I was actually kind of fucking up because, like, I talked this guy I met with him, like, my investigation, his actions led to his death, but my investigations, you know, push him over the edge. So it's kind of up for a day or two because I met him, I talked to him like there was a relationship, even though he was the suspect to me. Up for a day or two.
Brandon Herrera
Did you. Did you like, hand hurt from all the high fives you got from, like, other detectives or anything? I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Eli
No, no, no, no.
Rich
That was fine. That was fine. No, I'm saying, I'm saying. So remember how I said that my friend got a nickname, the Slim Reaper, because three guys took themselves out.
Cody
What's yours?
Rich
I now have an unofficial nickname and it's called the Influencer.
Cody
And then cuts to Ult and then throwing up a rainbow, which I. I.
Nick
Want you to know. I changed your name in my phone to that after.
Brandon Herrera
I need to change my. It used to be Rich.
Nick
Angry cops no, it's Rich the Influencer.
Rich
So my somebody set up, told me, quote, unquote, the influencer, like, and subscribe. And then I said, more like unsubscribe from life.
Nick
Hey, that's the name of the movies.
Rich
So my unofficial. A nickname that I've gotten now because the first person that's off themselves because of my investigations now the influencer.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, my God.
Rich
Which I. I'm not going to lie. Like, it's morbid. I laughed for 30 minutes. I was just like, holy, this sounds.
Nick
Like an A24 movie.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, it's just.
Fat Electrician
It's the same thing that happened in True Detective. Remember that scene with Matthew McConaughey where he says you should just yourself at the first.
Rich
At the Earth first opportunity where you have. You should yourself just like, there's no break. The first opportunity you get, you should.
Eli
It's like the happening, except instead of nothing, it's just Rich following you around.
Rich
Until you do it yourself.
Nick
The Richening following you. Let's get follows.
Cody
It's just Rich w walking through the.
Brandon Herrera
High panin thumbnail right there.
Rich
The dickening.
Fat Electrician
He's in your backyard just staring at you.
Rich
Just like tying the news for.
Nick
You, holding your phone.
Rich
Oh, yeah. We. So we've got to go through his phone. So, like, right. He's got a permission to search. That's still good. He's dead. Like, it's our property.
Nick
Is there any reason to do that at this point?
Cody
Yes, because the other victims.
Rich
So one.
Nick
There you go.
Rich
So the main reason of the investigation is to discover if there's any, you know, information regarding my investigation. Now, I have a legal warrant to look into his phone regard anything that revolves around my investigation with that legal warrant. And in the process of looking for information for my investigation, if there's additional information that's damning or evidence, etcetera, that can be used to open up another investigation or assist in something else and potentially find other victims.
Nick
All right, so I know this is probably an attorney question, but I'm genuinely curious. Now, let's say that you have suspicion. Let's say you don't have a letter of consent, right. Signed consent to search his phone, but you do have a warrant on his phone. Not to access it, but let's say.
Rich
You to collect it.
Nick
Yeah. If you have a suspicion that, like, maybe he's victimized other minors, are you allowed to. Even though he's dead now, does that allow you to search his phone?
Rich
So I, I think I know what you're saying and I'll Try.
Nick
I probably phrased it very poorly, but.
Rich
Yeah, you're pretty dumb. So it's like you can't help it. You're more tan than us. And so, I mean, I made a comment earlier today that he was, you know, beautiful Puerto Rican. The thing is, I think maybe I. I want to make sure that I get what you said. Right. So you're saying, hey, Rich, your investigation's over. Can you go through his phone to look for something that's not your investigation?
Nick
Yes.
Rich
No, because I. When you say suspicion, there's like legal terms like reasonable suspicion. That reasonable suspicion has to have a foundation of like, facts, statements.
Nick
Well, one might call it probable cause.
Rich
Well, the probable causes for an arrest, reasonable suspicion, is for me to stop, frisk, and to write a warrant. Right. Probable causes is an arrest, but probable cause can also be. That's such a high standard that that would be enough for a warrant as well. So in this specific investigation, I would be. I'm looking into his phone because of my investigation. Even though he's deceased, it's not over because I'm looking for more information regarding the assault that I am already looking into. So I'm in his phone already in there. If additional information comes along, that's going to create other spider webs, which is a good way to get into a phone for other stuff. However, let's say that you're not really getting a warrant for a phone if you don't have information on what might be inside of it already. So it. Your answer would be no. Because if I don't have the right. Reasonable suspicion, meaning like statements or other evidentiary facts that I can use and state to a judge why I need to get into his phone. You're not going to get the warrant to get it.
Nick
Slightly more gray area thing then I guess if lawyer Jake. Yeah, yeah, Lawyer Jake.
Rich
Fruit of the poisonous tree, doctor.
Nick
Yeah, correct.
Rich
So if I just say if the warrant is bad for his phone, I'll give you a bad warrant. Example, I go to a judge and I go, I think this guy's. I think this guy's touching kids. So.
Fat Electrician
Huh.
Brandon Herrera
Why me?
Rich
Maybe you just look like one. So. No, I'm sorry. God, I'm not. Yeah, I know you can take a joke, Rich.
Eli
Just realized you dressed like me today, so he had to switch it up.
Brandon Herrera
That's fair.
Rich
Yeah. You know, I got. Listen, the people love it when I pick on you. I gotta get what they want.
Nick
On this episode of hlc, Unsubscribe Fox.
Rich
Man, they call me the influencer.
Brandon Herrera
Versus influencer.
Rich
You like missiles, huh? Phallic shaped objects.
Brandon Herrera
Just the fast ones.
Rich
But you like telling kids those stories too, don't you, creep?
Brandon Herrera
Jesus Christ.
Fat Electrician
Maybe you should with a missile.
Rich
Bleep that out, please. No, that's okay. You're fine. I'm just letting them know don't run. Yeah, you can say all you want about it. That's fine. But if you say something where I'm like, I'll. I'll let you know.
Nick
Here's another thing, though. Like, if. If you've, like, had suspicion that he was victimizing other minors, would they even still pursue that now that he's dead?
Rich
Yes.
Nick
So, like, what's the purpose?
Eli
I guess kids help.
Fat Electrician
Closure.
Cody
So help. And then expand into that criminal, like, hey, where they get this information?
Nick
Like, just the data side of it of, like, how did this happen?
Fat Electrician
Because if you hurt one kid, you obviously hurt. Hurt other children. Yeah, that's what they're chasing.
Nick
I guess I just never considered it. Where. If they figured out, like, all right, well, the. The. The perpetrator is dead, do we still pursue?
Fat Electrician
Absolutely, dude. If they hurt one kid, they've hurt multiple other kids. So you pursue that.
Rich
You see, good people would want to help out the potential victims, Brandon, not let them strand and tread water with their horrible ptsd, which we all have at this table because we've all served.
Eli
You never want to just make a power vacuum and leave.
Brandon Herrera
That's how the Taliban take control.
Cody
And I.
Fat Electrician
Twice.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, twice.
Cody
I don't know.
Rich
I think you could probably biden your time for that.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, you say we can't just pick up and leave.
Rich
Yeah. So yeah, is just like the.
Nick
The like, lawn sprinkler flamethrower right now.
Brandon Herrera
So.
Rich
Yeah, I got. Got a body on me now. Feel different.
Brandon Herrera
Are you getting a teardrop tattooed, Dude?
Rich
I thought about it. You should. I'm not gonna lie. There are. I can't say it on this one. There are ways that some people remember days where situations took place. And sometimes you remember those days with tattoos for different meanings, with numbers. That and stuff.
Eli
Wood chippers on your left ass cheek.
Rich
Right?
Cody
There we go.
Rich
There we go. Do I get a wood chipper? But on the wood chipper, there's, like, a little one scrolled on it. And then. And then in three years, you see, like, there's seven marks on the side.
Cody
In the end of it, you just.
Nick
Buy a wood chipper and just carve an obvious one. You can.
Fat Electrician
Dude, you got a conus. Kill.
Rich
That's what I'm saying, yeah, I kind of have a conus.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, that's.
Rich
That's why I said I got a body. Like, I kind of. I kind of have a body. You take that deal, I take that deal. That's 0.5 of a body. And if you round that up in math, like I passed. When I was in fifth grade, the only year I passed. That's one.
Cody
You ever kill anybody? I don't like to talk about it.
Rich
So there was a Rich.
Nick
I mean this from the bottom of my heart. No. Look me in the eyes. Thank you for your service.
Rich
You're welcome. Thanks, buddy. Just remember, be nice to me.
Fat Electrician
He'll influence you.
Nick
Dude, when my Nick ran upstairs and I'm afraid when he.
Rich
When the person said your nickname is the influencer, I was like, oh, that's cool.
Nick
That's pretty funny.
Cody
That's kind of.
Rich
Yeah. So actually I talked to Taylor about it because I was up, okay. For like a day or two. I told you, just briefly. I was up from it. Cuz like I said that you build a relationship and even though they're bad guys, you want them to go to jail. Like this is going to sound really up.
Nick
I knew I was afraid by the way you sprinted upstairs.
Eli
Forgot I had something in my luggage.
Rich
For who? Oh, that's on your feet.
Brandon Herrera
No, no.
Rich
Oh.
Eli
Oh, wait, wait.
Rich
Not yet.
Brandon Herrera
Wait.
Cody
Oh, yeah.
Rich
I.
Eli
The official memorandum from the Department of the Army.
Brandon Herrera
Memorandum for Commander.
Rich
Stand up.
Eli
United States Army Civil Affairs Psychological Operations Command, Airborne, Fort Bragg, North Carolina.
Rich
K Pop, you're one of me.
Eli
Subject. The acceptance and wear of former foreign badges under provisions of AR 608 22, Appendix D, Section 7342, Title 5, U.S. code. The following individuals authorized to wear the Latvian parachutist badge.
Brandon Herrera
Can we pin this bad boy off?
Fat Electrician
No, we're read.
Cody
Can we read the name?
Rich
Because that's ridiculous. It is.
Brandon Herrera
Jesus Christ, bro.
Eli
On.
Rich
On three, gentlemen. One, two.
Cody
On that note, Brandon's like, oh, it's not over yet.
Nick
Happen.
Cody
When you're a hero, Brandon. People do things.
Brandon Herrera
Freaking hero.
Rich
That's a full on.
Eli
I feel like I'm smuggling stolen valor from my P.O.
Rich
Box to you.
Nick
You're my forced valor dealer.
Eli
I think technically this is the authorization for the individual that gave it to you to wear it.
Rich
Okay.
Nick
Okay.
Eli
This is the memorandum that he got.
Nick
Jesus Christ.
Rich
Speaking of weird, like awards and shit, you guys know I did an angry meme review about him. You know Throck the Destroyer, the big SF guy that was running with Pete Hegseth?
Cody
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Rich
I know who he is.
Nick
The big boy.
Rich
Yeah, I know who he is. And I don't want to throw the guy under the bus, but I. I went overseas with a buddy, a great guy, and now he's got stars on his collar. He's very nice. And he was like, wait, that guy has stars? No, no, my friend. My friend has stars. And I was like, hey, hegseth was where you're at around there somewhat that area. Do you know anybody that could get me in touch with this dude? He's just like, yeah, hold on, I'll figure it out. And he figured out, and then he gave me, I think, his commander's email or his email, and I'm trying to get him a pob. He is not happy that he made it, like, all over the United States because of. Yeah, because he's like an SF commander. He's like. He's a Jesus. Yeah, he's like a lieutenant colonel in the special force.
Cody
He likes to be. No one sees his face.
Rich
He's like, he's the silent professional, like, legitimately. And I was like, hey, I'm reaching out because I used another channel to try and get to him and be like, hey, bro, I want to send you a thing. He's like, hey, we talked to him. He like, he wants to lay low. He doesn't want to know. He wants. Doesn't want anything. I'm like, no, I'm not gonna make a story about. I want to give him an atta boy. And he was like, nah, sorry, man. He's radio silent. I was like, fuck you. I'm gonna get some stars involved. And then I called my buddy and I was like, give me this mother.
Eli
And I'm.
Rich
Send him a goddamn gift. So, sir, respectfully, I'm gonna get you some shit. You're gonna get it from my email.
Brandon Herrera
Like, I don't understand, like, mentality wise. Like, why could you not lean into that? So I made a series of tweets.
Rich
Because he's a silent professional. He's not a SEAL that has to make a book about it.
Brandon Herrera
I get it.
Rich
Or lose his eye.
Brandon Herrera
I totally get it. If you're. If you're accidentally thrust into the spotlight. So I made a series of tweets referring to him as the tactical Kool Aid man. Because, like, dude could just go straight through the unit. Yeah, he's a monster. And I'm like, why would you not play into that? Like, I. They. I think they took his picture and were like, tougher people are hard to kill. Like, that was the whole big army's thing.
Fat Electrician
Was he the one in the commercial where he says hard to.
Eli
To kill?
Fat Electrician
That was a different, different refrigerator.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, it's just like, dude, why not lean into that? Like, obviously you, you're, you're the top, like, right? You are the absolute like top of your field. You're special forces in a unit. Commander. I got it. You want to be the quiet professional, but if you're thrust into that role, bro, play Captain America. Play John Basilone before he died on Iwo Jima. Run that right.
Rich
I see where he's at. He wants, he wants the job. He wants to do the job.
Cody
And I mean, it would suck if you're trying to hide everything, especially with what you do and you're like, ah, this could endanger my family. Now everyone, yeah, I guess in America knows you, and not only America overseas. So you don't know the repercussions of that. You're just like, dude.
Nick
Which I totally understand, like the privacy concerns and stuff like that. But I mean, that being said, when. Remember when ISIS released their kill list like five, ten years ago, Something like that?
Rich
Tim Kennedy was on it. You know, he's got a backpack full of grenades.
Nick
Well, so he's covered. He's covered in that case. But how many of our friends were on that list?
Rich
I wasn't. And I was so disappointed.
Nick
We like, I'm like, it was double digits.
Cody
Oh yeah.
Nick
People we knew on that list. But it. God, nothing ever happened. Like, it's all a bunch of like.
Rich
They didn't kill one of my friends. A bunch of dicks. They have, they met.
Nick
They didn't even try. They like. How many flights have they ever been able to even afford over here?
Rich
At least three.
Brandon Herrera
You know that that is my favorite comeback on the Internet is every time somebody says something about, of like an aggressor nation, I'm like, how about you get with the Taliban? You guys brainstorm. They tried for a year and failed. Maybe you guys can come up with a new plan to actually get me.
Fat Electrician
Dude, they have really good helicopter pilots though.
Nick
Yes. I was so disappointed.
Eli
They get in the cockpit, there's way more controls than a. A donkey.
Brandon Herrera
Where. Where do you put your dick? Where does the penis come? Just know.
Cody
Do they.
Nick
Is it the reason why they have the. The what? Is it the Toyota?
Rich
The.
Nick
The Hiluxes? It's the only car they can't destroy.
Rich
The reason the Taliban is dead. Sorry, I got like that. The reason is you. Who sung that ch?
Brandon Herrera
I wanted to ask around here right like, so the common thing that I've run into is that America ran out of Afghanistan. We were chased out and all that stuff like that. Like, does anyone here feel that way? Or like where, where do you, where.
Nick
Does your logic like math on this? Yesterday?
Brandon Herrera
Okay.
Nick
G. What deaths?
Brandon Herrera
Okay.
Eli
United States, 200 something.
Nick
It was so in Iraq and Afghanistan. I believe it was just over 7,000.
Rich
That's Iraq and Afghanistan. And we compared that to just Afghanistan's numbers, didn't we?
Nick
No, we compared that to all GWAT. The total deaths in GWAT.
Rich
Yeah.
Nick
So American deaths roughly around 7,000, which is nothing to sneeze at, over the course of how many years?
Rich
20 something years.
Brandon Herrera
120. Yeah, something.
Nick
How many total deaths in GWAT do you believe?
Brandon Herrera
I know of Afghanistan only, which is estimated between for the Taliban and coalition forces. For them, between 51 and a hundred thousand.
Nick
Total was 4.5 to 4.7 million.
Rich
The KDR is 601.
Nick
It's more than that.
Rich
We did the math.
Nick
Yeah, it's like 650 or something to one.
Brandon Herrera
It's like they're gonna cause campers. That's what they're gonna do.
Cody
It's a lot of airstrikes.
Nick
Yeah, that's, we got pulled out by anti cheat.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, that's, that's, you know how many.
Rich
Tactical nukes we could have called in?
Brandon Herrera
Oh my God, a lot.
Fat Electrician
Oh, tell us about the missiles there.
Nick
I mean, we were actually the only one in that conflict who could have called in a new.
Eli
To answer your question, you have to like, people don't have a good grasp on like when a war ends. I guess so the problem is, is like in my opinion, a war ends when you dismantle the current government. Yeah. Whereas a lot of people seem to be under the impression the war isn't over until you dismantle the current government and get every single civilian on your side at all times.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Cody
Establish a brand new government.
Eli
Right.
Rich
Which is easy when communism is your opponent.
Eli
Well, yeah, that's true.
Brandon Herrera
Because people get food. It's really easy to buy them over.
Rich
You want food or you don't want food, you want to eat. Yeah. You want to go home.
Nick
I mean we were doing that when they were still communist with the Berlin air hair lift.
Rich
That's true.
Brandon Herrera
I, I, it's just so I, I broke down just Afghanistan because I couldn't speak for Iraq. I like, I got bored and I was like, I wonder what, you know, because for me, a good measure of in a country's fighting force is if you Took both of those countries and around the same time, you had them fight the same enemy. Holy. The Russians fought well. The Soviets fought Afghanistan from 1980. I want to say 83. 84 to 88, actually, maybe earlier, because it was. Theirs was 10 years. And then we fought from 2000. Yeah. And then we fought from 2001 until 2021. 2022, wherever we did. So I was like, let's do a side by side comparison. Turns out Russia in 10 years lost 15,000 troops. In Afghanistan, we lost in 20 years, 2400 troops.
Nick
So Russia was 79 to 89.
Brandon Herrera
79 to 89. Okay.
Eli
In their defense, how much of that was to exposure to the elements due to bad logistics of communism?
Brandon Herrera
That's true. You know, people always bring up how.
Nick
Many of them would have still died in Russia.
Brandon Herrera
That's totally true. But the US So then I was like, all right, well, let's look at enemy kills. The Russians killed between. I want to say it was 75 to 90,000 in their 10 years of enemy troops.
Nick
Which also, like, just to hammer that point home, they were doing things like poisoning water holes.
Brandon Herrera
Yes, they were. It was genocide to them.
Nick
No, no, they were straight up, like pouring like poison in water. Water sources.
Brandon Herrera
They were putting landmines inside of teddy bears.
Rich
Like Russia.
Cody
It was just like, okay, hey, Literally.
Nick
We were trying to avoid civilian casualties. They were trying to caused them.
Brandon Herrera
And I can prove that mathematically, so. Well, at least by the numbers. So the US we killed between 51 and 100,000 enemy combatants while we were there in 20 years. So relatively comparable. Now we look at civilian casualties. The US civilian casualties, best estimation for just Afghanistan, Not Iraq, just Afghanistan. 49,000 now civilian casualties by the Russians in 10 years, a little over 1 million. They were killing everything, just stacking bodies. So, like, I don't understand why US gets all this flack about us like, oh, constantly killing civilians. Like, the Russians are way worse, like tenfold to what we did. Actually, like, I think that's like 12 or 15 fold to what we did.
Cody
Yeah. Wild.
Nick
Yeah.
Cody
Well.
Rich
Huh.
Cody
Communism, right, Nick?
Rich
Huh?
Cody
You love it.
Eli
Big fan, actually. Fan?
Cody
When's your next communism?
Brandon Herrera
Who won the Cold War, Nick?
Eli
Us. Metallica. What do you want me to say? Blue jeans.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, I always love that. Like, America didn't win the Cold War. Like it was between the US and Soviet Union. Which one of those still exists?
Nick
Thank God that show happened. Happened before they dropped the Reload album.
Rich
Yeah. Can I. I haven't told it this story.
Nick
We might have lost the Cold before.
Brandon Herrera
We got a story.
Rich
It's. It's not my story. It's a buddy of mine who is Special Forces. And we're. Since we're talking about Afghanistan and like the Russians, It's. It was one of my favorite stories to listen to, and my buddy would tell it all the time. And I want to share it with you because it's.
Cody
It's.
Rich
I think it's cool. So during the Russian pullout of Afghanistan, there was a base. I forget where it is. I wish I could tell you the name. Somewhere in Afghanistan, the Russians are pulling out. And they're. They're driving everything in trucks, right? So they're like, hey, here's the space. The Taliban's coming up. They're pushing back. Or Taliban, whoever it was, Mujahideen back then. They're. They're fighting us. We're pulling out, and they're murking us as it goes. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna send everybody from this base in a massive convoy up this one road to get the out of here. Go to Russia, and a bunch of Spetsnats are going to stand by. Their Special Forces are going to stand by at the post and fight off anybody that comes. And I forget if the Spetsnats were just like, there on a mission, like, we're here to defend until whatever happens, or if they had some trucks and they could get out of there. Either way, the. The opposite side was ready. So the massive convoys leading with all the. They get in this valley, they get an ambush. Everybody in that ambush dies. All the trucks, all the equipment, every single Russian dies. And then there's an attack on the post, and it's all a Spetsnaz. And they're all in one building. And all the Mujahideen close in on this building and they kill every single one of this. But, like, you can see, like, this building is like, filled with bullet holes. You're like, rich. What do you mean the building's filled with bolt holes? My buddy's there with one of the Mujahideen that had fought the Russians. And he's like, hey, so this is where you fought all the Russians? Like, yeah, we killed all the Spetsnats. They were in this building and we merked it. We just threw everything at it. Rockets, RPKs, PRKs. Everything with a K was at this building and we killed all the Spetsnats. And he's like, well, then what happened? He's like, do you see this big concrete pad? He's like, yeah. He's like, they're all buried here. They dumped all the spetsnats in a like unmarked grave and then poured concrete over it. It's just all this dirt. A building that's all up and this random pad of concrete that's like poured shitty like by, you know, well, Afghans. By Afghans. And so. And that's how the conversation got brought up. It's like, hey, what's this big concrete pad? He tells him that story and he goes in. The concrete pad you're standing on is all the spet snaps that we. That I and all these other guys killed from the Mujahideen. Holy.
Nick
You're talking on the construction skills or the concrete pouring skills of people who could never conquer the third story building.
Brandon Herrera
That's fair. That's.
Rich
Yeah, that's about right.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Rich
The only thing they can build.
Nick
They're not Mexican.
Rich
The only thing that can build. Build. Well, as graves.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
All right, I gotta ask a question real quick. Okay, we. So you guys, some of you have been to Afghanistan before. You got all these influencers who are like, oh, we're taking our vacation to Afghanistan on tick tock and stuff. How do you feel about that?
Rich
They're doing that?
Fat Electrician
Yeah, dude. Like these little baby boy influencers are like, we're taking our, our vacation to Afghanistan.
Nick
Griff seems to really like it. Like, obviously those people are just retarded.
Rich
But I mean, if you're Muslim in a man, that's probably kind of cool.
Brandon Herrera
It's probably great if you're Muslim in a man, but would you let your.
Nick
Wives go there alone?
Brandon Herrera
Nope. No.
Rich
Ah, it depends if I want a divorce.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Rich
What makes a great pair of glasses at Warby Parker?
Nick
It's all the invisible extras without the extra cost.
Fat Electrician
Their designer quality frames start at $95, including prescription lenses, plus scratch resistant, smudge.
Nick
Resistant and anti reflective coatings and UV.
Fat Electrician
Protection and free adjustments for life. To find your next pair of glasses, sunglasses or contact lenses, or to find the Warby Parker store nearest you, head over to warbyparker.com that's warbyparker.com Did I.
Cody
Sign a prenup or not?
Brandon Herrera
It's a lot like going on vacation. North Korea. They're gonna let you see what they want you to see. But like, if you spend enough time there, you're gonna find out that women are for babies, men are for pleasure. So are goats, and so are, so are donkeys. I mean, tell me if I'm wrong, anybody.
Nick
So we have more in common Than we think.
Rich
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Like, it's, it's, it's crazy. Like, the thing that I, I would say overall bothers me most about Afghanistan when I see, like, these young influencers go there. Like, I, I think back and you see, like, World War II vets. Like, you guys have had World War II vets here on the podcast, and I'm so jealous of that, by the way. Like, those guys are just living legends. And, like, they get to, if they want to go back to Normandy and, like, see where they've been previously, they're.
Cody
Treated like heroes, too.
Rich
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Like, and I know, like, for people.
Nick
In G, that was liberation in France.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Nick
I mean. Yeah.
Rich
Yeah, I know.
Brandon Herrera
For those of us in, like, G, what? We'll never be able to do that. Like, we'll never be able to go back. And so, like, when I see all this and like, all these, these kids going over there, like, they have idea that we, we spent 20 years of just everything we had to give a generation of children and families hope. Like, that was the thing that bugged me the most when we pulled out of Afghanistan and everything collapsed is like, I gave everything I had to give a generation hope. And the Afghans that we left in charge are cowards. Like, that's the thing that burns me the most about the whole situation.
Cody
Influencers doing influencer.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, influencers being. I met my first influencer in the wild.
Nick
Oh, no, I did.
Brandon Herrera
It was some dude. He had, like, stickers all over his bone stock Mustang gt. Like, he didn't even have the, a regular license plate on it. He had, like, the, the stupid 360 camera sticking off the back of it. He's doing 40 miles an hour down Rogers Lane and just, like, switching lanes real quick, thinking he's cool. And I was like, oh, you silly. I'm just trying to go get some Chinese food, man. Like, I love you. That was my first time ever seeing one.
Nick
We had. I, I, I know. I think we've had the same Uber driver before. The guy who, like, the Afghanistan. The, the guy. Yeah, he was a, he was an interpreter in Afghanistan.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, hell yeah.
Nick
And some of those dudes are legit. Well, he, his whole thing is he's just trying to make enough money here to get his family out because his family is still there, which, yeah, that's its own wild things, like leave. Being able to leave yourself, but we're.
Cody
Not gonna bring you back.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, I, the whole pull out, like, I'm so torn because on the one hand, I look at it like my brain Is. Is torn. Right. Like, you got moral and then tactical. Tactical. Leaving quickly makes logical sense. Less bodies used. You know, it's more expensive to get that equipment back. Like, I totally understand that.
Rich
That.
Brandon Herrera
But the moral aspect, we had a lot of allies and assets and. And people helping us there. Like, we shouldn't have done that.
Nick
That. And I just don't believe in pulling out.
Brandon Herrera
I do the push and pray. I push past all our important stuff and blow my load into her heart.
Nick
What the.
Fat Electrician
Welcome to the unsubscribed podcast.
Nick
I love how quickly we oscillate. It's like a metronome.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Nick
So, like, very serious.
Rich
Big words that I don't know what they are. I'm gonna take it as an offense. You want, I'll oscillate the shit out of you. You say that word again, he's gonna influence you.
Cody
No, that's actually one question I had. I wanted to. I don't remember how everyone met, because everyone has different. Like, how did you two meet?
Rich
How did Brandon.
Nick
Like, I know the story about how me and Rich met.
Rich
Yes. It's one of my favorite stories. You're fucking.
Fat Electrician
You're Mike the cop. Yeah.
Nick
Because we were all hanging out in Charleston, South Carolina, because Cody just invited us down. We're just like, hey, that's the one.
Cody
I didn't go to.
Nick
Yeah, that was the one you said.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, we invited you to go there.
Nick
And just like usual, you were very.
Cody
Late by not going this time.
Brandon Herrera
We never know when Eli's showing up. That's fair.
Rich
I made a joke to JT this morning. I was like, hey, man, I'm gonna go see the boys and blah, blah, and do a podcast. He's like, oh, that's cool. I was like, yeah, I'm supposed to be there at noon. I'm gonna show up at 12:30, though. Because you know Eli. And he's like, yeah, that's right. Yeah.
Cody
We didn't start till, like, two. Two, three.
Eli
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
I don't even know what time it was. I've been drinking.
Fat Electrician
Oh. Height of COVID 2000.
Nick
2020. Summer.
Rich
Summer love, baby. Yeah. Because the riots happened in Buffalo, was.
Nick
Burning down in Charleston too.
Fat Electrician
I invited Eli to come down. We got a nice beach house on Isle of Palms in Charleston.
Nick
He said, I'm going to the airport now.
Cody
Yep. And then I didn't go.
Nick
I'll be there in, like, three hours. I don't think Eli's coming.
Rich
That's the most I'm on my way text I've ever heard. In my entire life. I'm on my way. Not even to the airport, dude.
Eli
I.
Cody
When I was supposed to first meet Savannah, I've never told this. My first flight, I was gonna go out there. I was visiting a friend, and I was gonna go meet her, and I text her that day I had a ticket. Everything's like, hey, I'm actually not gonna go. Like, sorry, I just didn't feel. I was like. And something feels off. I'm just not gonna go visit my friend or her for the first time and waited three months. Yeah, I know.
Nick
Weird.
Cody
So I stand up, everybody.
Brandon Herrera
There's the tism right there.
Cody
You're like, too much.
Fat Electrician
So I got. I got this big house. I was like, invited all my friends out. Eli include Eli included. And, you know, my. My good friends Brandon Herrera. Rich comes and. What did you say to him?
Nick
We had never met before. And the.
Rich
Remember the first thing you asked me? What kind of man am I?
Nick
I don't remember this at all.
Rich
You said, hey, hey.
Nick
Oh, oh, okay. I do remember this.
Rich
Go ahead. The.
Nick
The gun.
Rich
Yep.
Nick
Yeah. You and AR guy or an AK guy.
Rich
And I said, you know what? I really like ars. I like. They're my jam, but I just. I love AKs, man. I think I'm more of an AK guy. I had no idea who the. He was. Was good. And he was just like, sweet, we're gonna be friends. I was like, ah, cool. And then I made. You know, he didn't know who I was. He thought I was Mike the cop. But I also never seen a single video. He did. And I lied and said, yeah, I love your stuff.
Nick
You know, I. I legitimately thought. I. I like. I'm like, oh, I'm pretty sure I've seen him around because the way you described him like, oh, I think I know who you're talking about. And we're on the beach. And I had said something, and I don't remember what it was, but it was one of those, like, some like.
Rich
Yeah, you're like, I had like three beers and. And I was like, hey, do you think I'm Mike the cop? And his space wide.
Nick
I had been. Not only like, was I called out for something off, but it was called out exactly who I thought you were.
Rich
Yep. I was like, because I'm not him. And I. And in my typical fashion, I thought it was hysterical that he felt awkward. And then I thought I was like, this is the best joke ever.
Nick
Bullied for the rest of the week.
Rich
Oh, it was great. I loved it. I had Dude, I had ammunition. Every time you wanted to say something, I was like, all right, well, you know, like. And subscribe Mike the cop. And he was just like, fuck.
Nick
Fuck. The first ever you rich I think you ever got.
Rich
Yeah, that was the first one. Yeah. It's the start of many fuck you, riches.
Cody
How do you meet Cody?
Rich
We. That. That was our first time that we met in person. It was actually the same thing, but we were like, talking back and forth on the Internet, and you were like, oh, you're still in. Like, that's cool, dude. I. You know what? We. We just kind of brought out. I. It's. It's such like a man story. Like, you know, like the typical wife said, you tell your wife, hey, I'm gonna go golfing with Gary. And you come back from golf with Gary. And wife's like, you know what's going on with Gary and his wife? And you're like, I don't know us.
Nick
The first time we met, I'm.
Rich
Dude, I feel like I haven't changed at all. I'm just not.
Nick
Because I gave you my shades.
Cody
Yeah, I was gonna be young Brandon.
Rich
And, like, the wife asked you, like, hey, you know, Gary broke up with his wife. Did you talk about the divorce? You're like, oh, no. But you were golfing with him for four hours. And like, that's kind of me and Cody. Like, I don't know what started our friendship or when what we started talking, but we were already like, friends and knew that we melded together. And he invited me out to go hang out. And then.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, and then I made like, three videos about you freaking out on public servants and.
Nick
Oh, God, the knife hand of the judge is probably my favorite.
Rich
He retired, did he?
Cody
Yeah.
Rich
He's no longer the influencer guy.
Nick
Guy fucking guy.
Rich
His. His daughter, stepdaughter through marriage. I think is works with me.
Fat Electrician
Well, the funniest thing was, like, I'd known you for, like, a little bit. We were friends, and you would text me and you're like, I'm on the news again.
Rich
Yep.
Fat Electrician
Hey, buddy, what the are you. And I would just search it up. And sure enough, guy, when you hear.
Nick
Guy.
Rich
When you made the chest bump video of me chest bumping that dude, I. I think I was with Taylor. I think it was Taylor at the time. I was. I was in bed and she was next to me, and we. I wanted to watch it with her. I was like, hey, Cody made a video about me chest bumping this guy. And let's watch together. And when that Part came on. I laughed so hard. I was kicking in bed on my back. I laughed so hard.
Nick
Calling it a chest bump is like calling you an influencer.
Fat Electrician
Ethan, have you seen that video?
Brandon Herrera
No, I don't think I've seen that one. I was just thinking about the one.
Fat Electrician
Little Puerto Rican kid tried to get his kid or try to get his friend out of a police car. And Rich runs over and just chest.
Nick
Bumps him into the next dude.
Fat Electrician
He goes flying.
Brandon Herrera
I gotta see this, man. I. The only one I've seen, like, before. I mean, I guess before I really knew who you guys were was when you pinned down the. The minority. I know that doesn't narrow it down.
Fat Electrician
That was my video.
Brandon Herrera
Sounds worse.
Rich
That sounds bad.
Brandon Herrera
The guy who was there with the skateboard, like, hitting the. I think he hit your truck or something like that. Like, people were like, you can't kneel on him. He's a black man. And you were like, he's just a man. And that was. I was.
Nick
Which is like, the least discriminatory thing possible.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Rich
Unfortunately, it happened right across the street from this massive apartment complex filled with pieces of shit. And then all the pieces of shit that were in that apartment complex emptied out and just made it a complete race thing.
Fat Electrician
As you're in full uniform, too, army uniform, Right?
Nick
I got it.
Fat Electrician
I got it.
Cody
What The.
Nick
The.
Fat Electrician
The.
Nick
The chest Pump in space.
Cody
We can put this up. We'll send this one of my favorite.
Brandon Herrera
I got to watch this.
Rich
And here I come out and the.
Fat Electrician
Crowd starts interfering with the arrest. That's when the commander and pig shows up.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, I love it. Oh, so good. Oh, my God.
Nick
Remember when we enjoyed making videos?
Cody
It's crazy.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, my God.
Rich
Don't worry. It'll happen again once I get back on the streets. I'll let you know when I get. Don't.
Brandon Herrera
Cody, by the way, I think you should go back to the mustache. I really liked it. Lose the beard, keep the moustache. I think it was magical.
Fat Electrician
All right.
Brandon Herrera
It was good.
Nick
Moody.
Fat Electrician
Moody, yes. Mustache only.
Rich
Nope.
Nick
Yes.
Cody
And then eyes of terror.
Eli
Yes.
Fat Electrician
My mother's saying.
Nick
Mom says no.
Cody
Yeah.
Rich
Mustache only do.
Nick
You're so handsome with the luster.
Cody
Get that dick broom back.
Rich
So can I tell you something? Two stories come from that one. Inside baseball. While I was running towards him, that guy that I chest bumped, I was like, thinking, am I going to forearm him and give him an elbow and put him under arrest for trying to. He was literally trying to un. Arrest somebody that was being arrested. He's like, grabbing Officers that are trying to affect an arrest. Am I going to elbow him and do a use of force at a full sprint? Which is probably. He's probably not going to wake up from that for a little bit. You know, am I going to elbow him, do a use of force and arrest him, or. And then at the last second, I'm like, none of that is worth it. Drop it. You're just going to chest bump him out of the way. So, like, my arms up here and I'm sprinting and I go, drop chest bump. And then he came back and I was like, well, you wrote your own story today. And he handcuffs. And it was a.
Nick
Choose your own adventure.
Cody
Did you see the one where you hip tossed that dude?
Rich
Yeah.
Cody
Did you break that one down?
Rich
That never came out.
Cody
Well, him. Sorry, the. Oh, that one never came out.
Rich
I don't think you've seen that video. And he's never done a breakdown.
Brandon Herrera
You got a new video. Cody Hip toss.
Cody
This is like two frames. It's like he's up and then he is vertical to the concrete.
Nick
I'm up. Rich sees me. I'm down.
Fat Electrician
The Influencer strikes again. I'm upset now because I built my entire career off of watching Rich beat the out of people.
Rich
Wait a second. And that's 800 videos. Bring it back here.
Brandon Herrera
All I know is I'm getting on Photoshop and taking that. The COVID from the movie the Equalizer, changing it to the Influencer. Put Rich's face on it.
Rich
In trouble if I don't do it, and it's not my fault.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, man.
Rich
Second story that came out of that is I had an internal affairs investigation on that.
Fat Electrician
Oh, you did? Would have never guessed it.
Cody
Rich was.
Rich
It was not for the use of force because the use of force was appropriate. It was because one of the people that I arrested, their mom complained because I went up to this person that was an armed robbery. And we got the gun.
Fat Electrician
That's how that whole scene started.
Rich
Whole scene started because it was an armed robbery. And I had the victim in my car. We ran. Oh, I got over there. Another cop guy had the gun, threw it. Another guy picked it up. We chased him down. He threw it. I grabbed the gun. And then this is where the complaint comes in. I go over to this person and I go, you come here, fat boy. Just like that.
Brandon Herrera
I've heard the fat boy story.
Rich
I go, come here, fat boy. He's like me. I go, yeah, you. And I grab him and I put him in hand and I throw. Well, I don't I didn't put him in handcuffs. I threw him in the car because it was so chaos. There's only two cars at that point. There wasn't all those cops there at that moment. It was chaos. So I threw him in the car really quick. And his mommy made a complaint that I call him fat boy. And the best part of this is this guy is retired now, but there was an Internal affairs lieutenant that had seen me grow up throughout the police department, from rookie to where I was at the moment. And he's like, rich, your. Your reports, when you write them to Internal affairs, are great to read because they're exactly what happens in the camera, but it's you telling the story, but just typed out. And I can. I can hear you say it.
Cody
J.R. tolkien over here, right?
Rich
And he goes, so you're. We're investigating you calling this guy fat boy? And that. Like, you shouldn't have said fat boy. And I go, but that's the physical description that I had of the person, that he was the fat person in the white shirt, not the skinny person in the white shirt. That I asked the victim. I'm like, hey, skinny guy in the white or fat guy in the white? He's like, fat guy? I'm like, sweet. The whole. The chaos.
Nick
So you had the. The victim saying fat boy.
Rich
Yeah. So the whole chaos erupts. And that's how I. That's how I identified him as a suspect. So when I say, come here, fat boy, that's like. That's what the victim told me.
Nick
So if you ask the victim, let's say he's a of the darker persuasion. You asked him to say, is he the hard R in the white or the hard R in the flag? Could you get away with saying it?
Rich
If I was on the stand and they asked me what the person said verbatim, I have had to say the N word on the stand.
Nick
You've done that?
Rich
Oh, yeah. Well, if I don't, I feel like my. Oh, yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, yeah.
Rich
Yeah.
Eli
It's just the judge looking at Rich. Say the word. You're under oath.
Nick
Peer pressure.
Brandon Herrera
To be fair.
Nick
To be fair. Joe Biden has said the same thing, quoting in the floor of the Senate. So say the word.
Rich
Yeah. When you're on the stand, and they're like, influencer. When you're on the stand and either the defense or the prosecution, you know, the district attorneys are asking you, like, and what did the person say? And you're like, well, they said, you're not gonna catch me. You n. Word. Well, I say the whole N word because that's what he said verbatim. But in this case, once again, I'm talking to the internal affairs lieutenant, and he's like, this is the complaint, you said, of fat boy. And I was like. I said fat boy. And that's what he's like. Yeah, that. And so during the internal affairs investigation, instead of saying fat boy, I say, like, portly young man and over overweight youth, obese male. I just tried to. Kept thinking of different adjectives to describe them. And in the middle, I'm like, he's. It's recorded, but not video. It's just audio. He's like. He's like, putting his hand over and being like, stop, stop, stop. And I'm like, okay, you went full.
Brandon Herrera
Sing songy is what you're saying.
Rich
I went full sing songy? Yeah.
Eli
Ugly young man.
Rich
He didn't like that I called him fat boy. So in my interview with internal affairs, I used every other word, including scientific medical terms like obese.
Nick
Obese youth number three.
Cody
Wait, Cody, what was. How many times did you get investigated?
Fat Electrician
Oh, we're not enough about that.
Nick
Did you actually ever, like, have, like, a serious investigation where they're trying to you up?
Fat Electrician
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once or twice.
Nick
Damn.
Brandon Herrera
I mean, when he specifically stopped on the side of the road and said, you shouldn't have had the sun go down, and just broke out his ass. Nick, how did you get into this circle? Because, like, I think you were the reason I ended up in this circle. And we'll get into how I met Eli in a minute, because that's. I've been waiting, like, seven episodes of Unsubbed to tell the story of how I met Eli.
Eli
I've got a story about Eli, too.
Cody
It's the second time.
Eli
No, I mean, I've told the story before. Just. Cody just hit me up on Instagram, was like, hey, friend. I was like, hi, you want to come on my podcast? Sure. And then I flew out here and I was on the podcast.
Nick
But my favorite story is, like, when he picked you up from the airport off, dude, the first three minutes, I.
Eli
Didn'T know I'd like. It was the first time I'd flown in 10 years. Like, I didn't have Uber on my phone or nothing. I thought they were picking me up, and he wasn't responding. Baddie wasn't responding. I text Cody's like, yeah, I'll be there in like, 15 minutes. I'll be in the raptor. Okay, cool. Pull up. Hopping his raptor like, hey, I'm Cody. Hey, I'm Nick. How's it going? Blah, blah, blah. And then it's just like we're pulling out of the airport and it's just like awkward silence of like two people that don't know each other at all. And Cody just like trying to break the ice. Like, so what do you do? I was like, I'm an electrician. And Cody just goes.
Cody
And then the rest is.
Eli
And then he drives me out to Baddy's rental house at the time, which I'm telling you right now, Baddie's house at the time looked like a house out of like the Devil's Rejects movie.
Cody
I was just about to say a.
Eli
Thousand corpses, literally like down a road that had not been maintenanced since it was built 40 years ago. And it's like you got to put in a four wheel drive to get there. You get there, it's this little tiny house in the middle of the desert.
Nick
Most importantly, the air conditioning didn't work.
Eli
The air conditioning didn't work. It was hot as fuck. You open up the door. His living room had like 7,000 reptiles in it.
Rich
I could touch the ceiling.
Eli
All right, I'm getting fucking murdered. Probably should have vetted these guys more. I was like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I walk in the bathroom, there's a bath tub slash shower with no shower curtain. Just the rod all over the. Oh, well, that's where I'm gonna get my kidneys taken out of me later. This is awesome.
Rich
Why does it have ice in it?
Eli
So, yeah, that's how I got involved.
Fat Electrician
I do remember you asking me, why should I do long form content, though.
Eli
Yeah, that's true.
Rich
Yep.
Eli
It worked out.
Nick
I think we were all redacted bar.
Fat Electrician
Me and Brandon and Eli, we were all like, do long form content, Nick.
Nick
I don't remember.
Cody
Well, no one's gonna watch an hour.
Eli
It's true.
Nick
Well, you know what? Like, my videos are like, you know, two minutes long. Who the fuck's gonna watch me for. For 30 minutes now you. You make the longest videos of any of us.
Eli
Yeah, that's true.
Rich
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Jesus.
Rich
Yeah. Thank God you did long form, otherwise you'd still be wearing that metal Roman helmet.
Brandon Herrera
What the. The. You talking about the Roman helmet guy?
Rich
Yeah, yeah.
Cody
I don't know.
Rich
Joke like he stole his thing. Oh, they're the same person. You know, we're not going to talk.
Brandon Herrera
About the eyes of mouth thing that people steal.
Rich
I was just about to make a joke about it.
Fat Electrician
Well, how did you get in this group, buddy.
Brandon Herrera
It's. It's a wonderful experience. So Eli messages me on Instagram. I think I'd been tagged in Unsub videos, like, a thousand times. Times.
Cody
Show. Did you message.
Brandon Herrera
Did I message? Was it show?
Nick
That message me show just spawned out of the stairs.
Brandon Herrera
The.
Nick
Was that.
Brandon Herrera
Well, okay, I guess it was. Show messaged me and was like, hey, you know.
Fat Electrician
Are you the taker man?
Nick
The T man is here, y'all keep talking. Don't start your car.
Cody
She's like, God damn it.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, my God.
Rich
Remind me. I have a story.
Nick
Oh, God.
Cody
Oh, God.
Brandon Herrera
So show. Text me through Instagram was like, hey, you know, we'd like you to come on the podcast. And I was like, oh, yeah, cool. I've heard of unsubscribe, but I had no idea who was on it. I had no idea who you were. So I was like, I'm gonna fucking look into Eli, right? I'll figure out who the. Who the hell Eli is. I looked in who Baddie was at the time because I was. I think that was the last podcast with that group. Yeah. Was me and Kiss of Death. It was me.
Cody
That's his nickname.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah. Right. So I, like, six hours go by because Eli doesn't do anything on time, and I completely forgot that I had contacted unsubscribe. I have a brother named Eli. I love my brother death, but he's also a convicted felon and a deviant who gets a new cell phone every time the sun goes down.
Rich
How my clientele.
Brandon Herrera
So I get a text from Eli and says, hey, what's up? This is Eli, and I think it's my brother. And my response is something along the lines of, oh, would you get a new fucking phone for this time, dickhead? Right? Like, something stupid. Not realizing it was, yeah.
Cody
I was like, that's a weird response.
Brandon Herrera
And, like, as soon as I said it, like, my brain, like, 30 seconds later clicked on. It was like, oh, fuck. Like, I panicked. And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, man. Have a brother named Eli. Like, I thought this was him. And they. They, you know, you guys invite me out, and I like, honestly, it was a really good experience. I get here, still don't know where the thermostat is in this house. I have no idea where it is. Okay? I was like, everyone knows where it is.
Cody
I could see, like, everyone pointed at the same time.
Brandon Herrera
No one was here at the time. It was just me. And I was like, oh, this is cool. Like, I took a couple of selfies Like, I'm on unsubscribe, right? And, like, I text you, like, his. I could see my breath in this house. And he goes, yo, yeah, hey, come on over to here. You know, I'm here with Brandon. Not realizing Brandon meant Brandon fucking Herrera. So, like, Eli, nothing personal. I was not a fan of you. I was the biggest fan of Cody.
Rich
Not one of you sounds like a dig.
Brandon Herrera
I'm sorry.
Cody
Hated your content. Eli looked in.
Brandon Herrera
I was, like, geeking over Cody, and I had seen some of Brandon's content, so I knew who he was.
Nick
I just.
Brandon Herrera
I didn't. I didn't really, like, know much about you. And so, like, I walk into this bar, and it's you and Brandon Herrera. And I was like, I.
Nick
My middle name is not.
Brandon Herrera
I think it is.
Rich
I'm pretty sure it is Gonzalez.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, right. It's Consuela porquito.
Rich
And.
Brandon Herrera
And. But yeah, that. That was the first time I'd ever met Brandon. I remember taking a selfie with him that didn't turn out very well because there was a big light behind both of us, and he probably thought I was a goober, and I just thought.
Nick
You were a nice man.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah. And that was my first experience here. And I remember the second time I came. I'd never met Nick in person. We talked to each other, but I'd never met Nick in person. The second time, we were at another restaurant when I showed up, and Nick was like, hey, just come to this restaurant. I was like, cool. And the only open spot was next to Cody. And I remember geeking the fuck out. I was like, oh, my God, I'm a Stonewood operator. I geeked the fuck out for a few minutes. Yeah, that was my thing. Look, I. You were the only one I was really a fan of, okay? Give me a break here.
Cody
Y'all have really good memories.
Rich
Do you remember when I said I don't remember? Embarrass me.
Brandon Herrera
Look, man, I'm trying. I'm telling the story as it went.
Rich
Didn't have to tell a story.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, God damn it.
Eli
You didn't tell us that Eli has a magic cabinet in this kitchen.
Brandon Herrera
What?
Nick
All right, bro.
Brandon Herrera
Now we need.
Eli
I went to Eli's right before I had to flight home. And I was like, I want one of those Eli gummies. And he's like, cool.
Nick
Oh, we're telling this story, and he's like, cool.
Eli
And he walks over to a cabinet and spawns gummies. I'm like, okay, cool. And I eat it. And I'm like, that's fine. And then like 20 minutes later, somebody else is like, I want a certain type of fungus. And he was like, cool. And he walks over the same cabinet and hands out, okay, this is where he keeps his drugs. That's fine. And somebody's like. Somebody's like, I want a protein bar. And he's like, cool. He walks over to the same cabinet. Okay, that's where he keeps all his edible.
Rich
I guess that's fine. That's fine.
Eli
Whatever.
Nick
Can I have a bottle of water? No.
Eli
So then somebody, we're talking about 8, 6, blackout. Cuz tacket didn't know much about it. And he's like, oh, bro, it looks like this. He walks over the same cabinet, and there's bullets in it too. It's the Mary Poppins bag of a.
Nick
Cabinet in his kitchen.
Cody
I forgot about that.
Brandon Herrera
He, like, reaches into his magic bag.
Eli
The worst part is, as it's going, I'm getting progressively more high.
Rich
And I'm like, what is in that cabinet, man? So it's.
Nick
It's bigger on the inside. It's his retardis.
Cody
For got your face.
Rich
Oh, my God. The craziest part of that story is Cody goes, you know, I'm looking for, like, a thick, young Latina Moody comes out of there.
Fat Electrician
Was that not provided.
Brandon Herrera
I actually had an interesting question, and I was thinking about this on the flight over here. I don't know why I thought about it. So we know. Communism, Communism. Communism summons. Nick. I was just wondering what would summon the rest of you guys, like, stop resisting three times would probably be rich.
Cody
Both of them.
Nick
Old habits die hard.
Fat Electrician
Latina, Latina, Latina.
Brandon Herrera
What about you, Brandon?
Cody
Ak.
Rich
I don't know.
Nick
That's a. That's a hard one because, well, Trunnion.
Rich
Trunnion, trunnion, trunnion, trunnion.
Nick
I still get people commenting just trunion. And I know exactly what the fuck I psyoped.
Rich
I'm not. I'm not gonna lie. This was an intentional psyop of you and your fan base when I started doing angry meme review.
Cody
Trunnion. Wait, hold the.
Rich
On.
Cody
I don't know this.
Nick
There's two. Two trunnions on an ak. One's the rear trunnion that holds the recoil spring, dust cover, stock. All that front trunnion is where the bolt locks up. And it also holds the barrel to the receiver of the gun.
Rich
Brandon also says trunnion like 4, 5, 6, 10. A dozen times in every video he's talking about.
Nick
I'm sorry I used the right name for the word word.
Fat Electrician
That's not a sexy word, though.
Eli
Trunnion.
Brandon Herrera
It sounds like a sexually transmitted disease in my opinion. Like, I just sliding on your trunnion, Brandon.
Nick
Like, never mind.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, you got a trunnion growing on your penis. Yeah.
Rich
You know you want to touch my trunnion.
Nick
Choke Rich. And hear the word trunch.
Rich
Yeah. When I die, it's going to be him choking me me. I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna come when he kills me. So I. My psyop was. I wanted to affect Brandon and his community. And so I was like, if I be like Trinity, because he says it so many times. I want to get Brandon to crack on videos and be like, rich. Every time I say trendy now, I think of you and I fucking laugh and keep fucking up my videos.
Nick
I think I've said that that verbatim.
Rich
Yes, you did. In like one or two videos. And also I wanted.
Nick
I think I paused and I was like, you rich?
Rich
Yep. And which I came so. And then also I wanted to see his comments be like, he said trunnion 37 times. And I wanted somebody to make a compilation of him saying trunnion. There is a compilation video from a fan. Is there really five minutes or seven minutes of you saying tran?
Nick
Well, it's going to be longer now. There's going to be a new one. I promise you they're going to grab it for.
Brandon Herrera
From this episode.
Rich
So my goal was I wanted to, you know, like, make trunnion a thing for Brandon without forcing him to do it by, like, my. My psyopping skills. And. And it worked so well.
Nick
There is a video and it was. I saw it because somebody sent it to me and it said, brandon Herrera says the N word is the name of the YouTube video. Yeah, it's just me firing a pals of piece P50, I think it was. And I just look at the camera and I go, nice. Why does this have 40,000 views?
Cody
Those comments have to be gold.
Rich
It was all Tony Gonzalez's campaign. Yes, that's. That's all of the views.
Nick
Some of the videos they used in that campaign were hilarious, dude.
Rich
They were great.
Brandon Herrera
I wonder if you run again, like, since the last time, how many, like, snippets they're going to get from Unsubscribe or the Unsub Live or Pepper Box, you know, they're going to pay for a subscription.
Nick
What's wild is that they still had to spend. They had to outspend me 10 to 1 to even make any of it stick because it's, it's, it's crazy. Like, half the that they use too, they're like, just like, look, how can we make veterans hate this guy? And the more clips they showed, the more they were like, this guy's pretty.
Rich
This guy, dude.
Brandon Herrera
Like, the whole, like, premise of the thing, like, kind of blows my mind. Like, I try and explain to even my students, like, social media is more powerful than anything we know. And to put it in perspective, we are what, 23, 24 years past 9 11. We have people advocating for terrorism because of social media, because Hamas has a better social media campaign than the IDF does. Like, social media is stupid powerful. And the powers that be don't understand how powerful Social media, social media, they're.
Nick
Starting to, which is interesting. It's, it's been very funny to watch that ship get steered by the caboose.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
When they try to use social media and they have the, the little hairy sissons and those.
Rich
Oh my gosh, choose your character.
Nick
The new White House, like, all the comms they've got there, killing.
Brandon Herrera
Great.
Nick
The new social media team has been hilarious.
Brandon Herrera
I, I love when you get like the Weebs or the super tards, liberal tards or whatever. Like, I, Everyone knows I don't pick sides. I just, I call both sides if they're stupid. But like, they're like, I can't believe we have the President of the United States sharing this. I'm like, awesome. Terrorists dying. It's great. I love it. I love every bit of it.
Nick
Getting some like, fentanyl dealer deported to studio Ghibli copies is hilarious.
Fat Electrician
Oh, the fat lady.
Nick
If it was a lady, then I don't know what that was. That was bizarre. Hilarious. I'm like, I love whoever's running this account. Dude.
Cody
It's crazy watching that new wave because they're treating it like here's old legacy media. Oh, we'll do the same thing, but now with our personal accounts. I swear, they probably use you guys as models for running for Congress because that was not done to that to.
Nick
How did not do it.
Cody
No.
Rich
Do you want to lose?
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Nick
I can give you plenty of advice on that.
Brandon Herrera
Well, think about it. If you would have spent maybe 2 million more dollars, you probably would have beat him.
Nick
It was way less. Well, that was probably. That was less than I spent total.
Brandon Herrera
Because you, you, you lost BY what, like 70 something votes?
Nick
It was 400 votes in a runoff election. So we. We progressed from the. From the primary to a runoff. So it was just me and him. And I think they like he and all of the, you know, PAC, super PACs, everybody that was running ads for him. Something like 13 million, I think is what it ended up being.
Brandon Herrera
That's nuts.
Nick
$13 million to beat a YouTuber as an incumbent, which, by the way, incumbents already have like a 93%. 93% reelection rate. It's crazy.
Brandon Herrera
I would say you probably next time you have to put Cody on your payroll because he was just. It was savage.
Fat Electrician
You know what we can do after they spent third, like $1.3 million or 13.
Nick
13, 13.
Fat Electrician
You know what we get to do this.
Brandon Herrera
Get.
Nick
Dude.
Brandon Herrera
That was the only reason I got Twitter was to see what I said. You almost beat your opponent.
Fat Electrician
We get to get drunk and talk.
Nick
Like, you know what happens if you. You lose the streets, mother. You know what happens if I lose? That's crazy.
Rich
God damn.
Fat Electrician
Best job ever.
Nick
Best job I ever.
Brandon Herrera
I do have to do a quick shout out to my boy, Jank wagon here. He's. He's. Jank wagon. It's a 1068 that was constantly falling apart and lighting on fire. It's. It looks like a toaster with tracks. My boy is having some liver failure. He's a good dude. I told him next time I'm on unsub, he's. He's a hell of a dude. Jank wagons, awesome people. So I told him I'd do a shout out on.
Cody
I do 21 push ups for you.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, 21.
Nick
We hope Jank Wagon's doing okay.
Brandon Herrera
There we go. You got it from Brandon Herrera.
Cody
Cody, I do want to ask a question. Where do. Where do you think you're going to get married at?
Fat Electrician
Ooh, Charleston, South Carolina.
Cody
Oh, yeah.
Nick
I'm gonna place.
Cody
It's gonna be. Is it gonna be water? What are you thinking on that?
Fat Electrician
Oh, dude, I want big oak trees, the moss hanging off of.
Nick
What is your scent? What's the scent you're gonna use for the table?
Cody
You've been waiting your whole life for this.
Fat Electrician
Yeah.
Nick
Oh, yeah.
Brandon Herrera
This is your first and only one, isn't it?
Fat Electrician
Yeah.
Cody
What?
Fat Electrician
It wasn't you, Rich.
Brandon Herrera
I'll still marry you.
Rich
Shut. God, Every time.
Brandon Herrera
I thought you were sad, I was trying to build you back the up.
Eli
You couldn't read the. The subtext that said awkward silence in parentheses. Yeah, that's what Rich was going for.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, I was trying to break the awkward silence by like making did the.
Eli
Parentheses Break the awkward silence.
Brandon Herrera
No, I wasn't paying attention to that.
Rich
The guy can read everything but the room. Yeah, Every training man all day.
Brandon Herrera
I understand. Missiles, not people. Okay. That is my tism. We got the TISM Titan over here.
Rich
When we're talking about a great shirt is just.
Nick
I can read. Missiles, not people.
Cody
That is a really good shirt.
Fat Electrician
The missile knows where it's not exactly.
Brandon Herrera
Dude.
Cody
Watching, just going on kind of consensual and reading. Just the one. I missed an episode. I turned that one on and I was like, oh, what happened in this one? I just did a quick jump in it. You just shaved your head. I was like. And then immediately wherever I skip, Rich is just lighting him up. I was like, he just get bullied?
Eli
That was a whole episode.
Cody
And then I read the drama and then it's like, Rich is so mean to him. I was like, dear God.
Rich
My wife yelled at me and she came on. I think you were. You were back and it was the four of us. Or you might have. You might have left. Left. I think you were gone after that one. It was just the three of us.
Brandon Herrera
I'm so glad I was.
Rich
And she came on over my shoulder and she's talking to the guys and she's just like, I told him not to pick on Ethan. And I'm like, he's not here. I'm still gonna pick on him, though. He like, he doesn't have to be here for me to do that. She's like, I told him he's got to be nice. Everybody was mean to him in the comments and I was like, he's a grown ass man.
Brandon Herrera
He's okay, I can handle some smoke.
Rich
Yeah. Then I got that text from you.
Brandon Herrera
Okay, we don't talk about that. All right.
Rich
Over the top.
Brandon Herrera
Look, all I said is that you were going to be explicitly named in my.
Nick
All I'm saying is I think you've got good enough hand eye coordination where you could the first time.
Brandon Herrera
Jesus.
Rich
You can't put that one in. Hysterical. Glad you said it. Just can't put that one in.
Fat Electrician
You beat me to that.
Nick
Really?
Cody
Here he goes.
Fat Electrician
I was about to say he got the good.
Brandon Herrera
That's how I know I got is. They immediately make jokes.
Rich
You guys are really going for the neck on this one.
Fat Electrician
Look at me.
Rich
Oh, man.
Cody
I think on that one we could.
Fat Electrician
Close her out, Mr. Close it, buddy. Are we doing an after show?
Cody
Yeah, we'll do a 10 minute, 10 minute after show. Just complete chaos.
Fat Electrician
Well, guys, thank you for coming to the un subscribe Podcast. I was joined today by Eli Double Tap, fat electrician, angry cops, habitual line crosser, Brandon Herrera, myself, donut operator. Join us on Patreon for the after show.
Nick
Love you.
Cody
Love you. Oh, yeah. Where do we find you?
Rich
Habitual linecrosser.com buffalopd.org Let them know how good of a job I'm doing and that I deserve a medal. Yeah, you can. You can email and you can hey on some welcome. Hi. Any new website? It's not a website. It's. It's the Buffalo Police Department's email.
Cody
Go to that email. What a fantastic member Rich is to society.
Brandon Herrera
And you're gonna get called into someone's office.
Cody
Influencer. Yeah, just address him as the influencer.
Rich
No, don't do that.
Eli
That's.
Rich
The higher ups don't know that. They're gonna be like, what?
Nick
No, you can.
Rich
God, why you and him.
Nick
Maybe. Maybe this just isn't the episode for that.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, be like any Buffalo news outlet you can find, Rich.
Cody
All I want to see is go to Google, go to leave a review at Buffalo PD and just leave a really five stars for Rich and just be like, love Rich.
Rich
Now just call up the Buffalo Police Department headquarters and tell them I would.
Nick
Just love to see the fucking fake reviews. It's like five star Detective Richard Hive, my wife. And it was fantastic.
Rich
She loved it. And I cried when they looked at me and said how beaut beautiful it was. Oh, my God, I saw that video.
Cody
And off to the after show.
Unsubscribe Podcast Episode 209: "Habitually Fat & Angry - The Kinda Consensual Crossover"
Release Date: April 21, 2025
In Episode 209 of the Unsubscribe Podcast, hosts Eli Doubletap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator, and The Fat Electrician dive into a dynamic and multifaceted discussion encompassing charitable initiatives, military technology, ethical considerations of AI, personal investigative stories, and their unique camaraderie. This episode seamlessly blends humor with serious topics, providing listeners with both entertainment and insightful conversations.
The episode kicks off with a heartfelt acknowledgment of Autism Awareness Month. The hosts express immense gratitude for their community’s support, celebrating surpassing $50,000 in donations to aid individuals with autism.
Notable Quote:
They introduce a new merchandise line, including "Tisms" shoes designed to represent uniqueness and strength. All profits from sales are directed towards autism-related causes, emphasizing the community's pivotal role in their charitable efforts.
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The hosts highlight special giveaways, such as a one-of-a-kind helmet and hand-forged knives, further encouraging donations and participation.
A significant portion of the discussion revolves around advanced military technologies, specifically the United States' missile defense systems. Brandon Herrera provides an in-depth analysis of the "Golden Dome," a proposed intercontinental ballistic missile defense network.
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The conversation delves into the capabilities and limitations of systems like Ground-Based Midcourse Defense (GMD) and Ground-Based Interceptors (GBI), addressing the challenges of prioritizing targets and the moral implications of AI in making lethal decisions.
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The hosts debate the balance between technological advancement and ethical responsibility, emphasizing the need for human oversight in critical decision-making processes.
The episode takes a personal turn as Rich shares a poignant story of an investigation involving a 12-year-old victim. He recounts the complexities and emotional toll of pursuing justice in sensitive cases.
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The narrative explores the procedural aspects of law enforcement investigations, including obtaining search warrants and cooperating with district attorneys. Rich highlights the importance of persistence and ethical considerations in his work.
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This segment underscores the hosts' commitment to justice and the challenges faced by law enforcement in navigating difficult cases.
Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in playful and humorous interactions, showcasing their strong camaraderie. From teasing each other about nicknames to sharing funny anecdotes, their chemistry adds a lighthearted element to the discussion.
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These moments of levity provide a balance to the more serious topics, making the podcast both engaging and relatable.
As the episode wraps up, the hosts extend heartfelt thanks to their listeners and community supporters. They reiterate the importance of ongoing charitable efforts and encourage continued participation in their initiatives.
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The episode concludes with playful banter and plans for future shows, leaving listeners anticipating the next installment.
Episode 209 of the Unsubscribe Podcast offers a compelling mix of serious discourse and entertaining banter. By addressing significant issues like Autism Awareness, military technology, and ethical AI usage, while also sharing personal stories and humorous exchanges, the hosts create a well-rounded and engaging listening experience. Their genuine appreciation for their community and dedication to meaningful causes shines through, making this episode a standout in their series.
Tune in to the Unsubscribe Podcast for more insightful and entertaining episodes!