211 - Cody's Big News & Eli's New Show | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 211

Summary

Unsubscribe Podcast – Episode 211: Cody's Big News & Eli's New Show

Title: Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 211
Hosts: Eli Doubletap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator, & Nick ("The Fat Electrician")
Release Date: May 7, 2025

In Episode 211 of the Unsubscribe Podcast, titled "Cody's Big News & Eli's New Show," hosts Eli Doubletap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator, and Nick ("The Fat Electrician") dive into a mix of personal updates, humorous anecdotes, and engaging discussions on topics ranging from engagements and live shows to gun legislation and pop culture. The episode is rich with camaraderie and witty banter, making it an entertaining listen for both regular followers and newcomers.

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1. Personal Milestones: Brandon's Engagement

Timeframe: [02:00] – [05:43]

Brandon Herrera shares exciting news about his recent engagement, providing a humorous and heartfelt recount of the proposal process at the Hotel del Coronado in San Diego.

• [02:01] Brandon: “I am. I got engaged at the Hotel del Coronado. Coronado island out there in San Diego.”
• [02:14] Cody: “Someone's gonna make an honest man out of me. I'm gonna have a little, little Mexican babies running around. Hopefully next year.”
• The group humorously discusses the logistics and playful mishaps during the proposal, including distractions caused by the photographer.
• [05:43] Brandon: “Yeah, out of my penis.”
  Eli: “Any romance gone. I cried out my penis.”

2. Challenges in Live Shows and Audience Dynamics

Timeframe: [06:11] – [15:00]

The hosts reflect on their experiences with live shows, particularly focusing on audience behavior and safety concerns.

• [06:11] Nick: “It’s gonna be a good episode today. Tonight’s gonna be rough for the second one.”
• [07:29] Brandon: “They’re just telling rednecks, go be pirates.”
• They discuss a Nashville live show where misunderstanding led to tense moments about firearms.
• [07:34] Brandon: “A bunch of people at the bar thought we had guns.”

3. Travel Tales and Flight Stories

Timeframe: [09:58] – [17:10]

The conversation shifts to various anecdotes about flying and interactions with fellow passengers.

• [09:58] Brandon: “Well, the manager of the show, we've talked about this before on the podcast, came back and said the staff is really scared of you guys.”
• [16:27] Nick: “That's some of my favorite. Is when the plane has no clue. We're all tight. The hijinks you can get.”

4. Gun Legislation and Safety Discussions

Timeframe: [15:00] – [44:00]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to debating gun legislation, buybacks, and safety in public settings like live shows.

• [15:00] The hosts debate the effectiveness of gun buybacks using Chicago’s strict gun laws as a case study.
• [34:26] Nick: “Like, I've been told it's socioeconomic.”
• [38:56] Cody: “Should be in jail.”
• They discuss historical contexts of gun laws, including the National Firearms Act, and its impact on modern gun ownership.
• [40:54] Nick: “They were going to turn millions of law-abiding Americans into felons overnight because of an arbitrary ruling.”

Notable Quotes:

• Brandon: “[05:43] Yeah, out of my penis.”
• Eli: “[08:13] Five milligrams is like will fucking send you to the moon. So 100 milligrams you have seen God…”
• Nick: “[34:26] Like, I've been told it's socioeconomic.”

5. Historical Narratives and Pop Culture Commentary

Timeframe: [44:00] – [63:00]

The podcast transitions into discussions about historical figures and their strategies, as well as reviews of recent movies.

• [44:00] Cody: “I'm working on John Paul Jones. The father of America’s navy.”
• The hosts delve into John Paul Jones' naval tactics and contributions to the Continental Navy.
• [47:15] Discussion shifts to movie reviews, covering films like “The Death of a Unicorn,” “Cocaine Bear,” and “Beekeeper 2.”
  • [48:00] Cody: “Such a good movie.”
  • [50:39] Nick: “Like, I think it was for the drive tanks thing or the time before one of the two.”

6. Sponsor Mentions and Advertisements (Skipped)

Per user instructions, this summary omits detailed descriptions of advertisements and sponsor segments to focus solely on the podcast’s content.

7. Conclusion and Upcoming Content

Timeframe: [63:00] – End

As the episode concludes, the hosts engage in lighthearted banter, discussing future projects and upcoming episodes.

• [98:34] Nick: “Almost made me cry on yours.”
• [99:07] Brandon: “I say that as I throw my son to you for several weeks this summer.”
• The group wraps up with jokes and friendly interactions, maintaining their signature humorous tone.

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Episode Highlights:

• Engagement Story: Brandon’s humorous and heartfelt proposal at a picturesque location.
• Live Show Challenges: Navigating audience perceptions and safety during performances.
• Flight Anecdotes: Entertaining interactions and stories from their travels.
• Gun Legislation Debate: In-depth discussion on the impact of gun laws and buybacks.
• Historical Insights: Exploring the tactics and legacy of John Paul Jones.
• Movie Reviews: Lighthearted critique of recent films and their cultural significance.

Notable Quotes:

• Brandon: “Yeah, out of my penis.” ([05:43])
• Eli: “Five milligrams is like will fucking send you to the moon. So 100 milligrams you have seen God…” ([08:13])
• Nick: “Like, I've been told it's socioeconomic.” ([34:26])

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Summary:

Episode 211 of the Unsubscribe Podcast offers a blend of personal storytelling, critical discussions on gun legislation, and engaging conversations on history and pop culture. The hosts’ humorous approach and dynamic interactions create an entertaining and insightful episode, providing listeners with a well-rounded and enjoyable experience.

Transcript

[Cody]

Starting a business can seem like a.

[Brandon Herrera]

Daunting task unless you have a partner like Shopify.

[Cody]

They have the tools you need to start and grow your business.

[Brandon Herrera]

From designing a website to marketing, to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need.

[Cody]

There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz and Allbirds continue to trust and use them. With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into sign up for your $1 per month [e-mail] specialoffer.

[Eli]

Did you cry?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, out of my penis.

[Eli]

Any romance? Gone.

[Nick]

Also his mother.

[Cody]

Now she knows you've had sex. Having a child is basically like having a Pokemon.

[Eli]

You just throw a rock at his head, knock him out.

[Brandon Herrera]

They're just telling rednecks, go be pirates.

[Cody]

What's that sword you guys carry called?

[Nick]

Oh, no.

[Cody]

Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. Brandon. His hair is fabulous. Donut. A dog joke disposition. And there's a fat electrician. Welcome to unsubscribe.

[Nick]

Well, boys, it's just. It's just the gang again.

[Eli]

I like it. Three, two, one. I heard that. No one hears anything and then immediately put it back down.

[Brandon Herrera]

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribe podcast with Eli, Double Tap, fat electrician Brandon Herrera, myself, donut operator. It's been a minute since we've done Just the Boys.

[Eli]

It has. What's up, beautiful faces? Nick's in town. Y' all are in town. Everyone at Cody, you have life updates. Everyone has updates. Engaged.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, when's the last time we did a just a gang podcast like this?

[Nick]

It's been a month and a half.

[Brandon Herrera]

A month?

[Eli]

Yeah, according to the Internet, like a week ago, but yeah, a week ago.

[Nick]

That's true.

[Brandon Herrera]

Hey, guys. We're happy to have you here. We're lucky to be together, boys.

[Nick]

Getting married.

[Brandon Herrera]

I am. I am. I got engaged at the Hotel del Coronado. Coronado island out there in San Diego. How was was good, dude? I, I. Someone's gonna make an honest man out of me. I'm gonna have a little, little Mexican babies running around. Hopefully next year.

[Nick]

I can't wait till your kids cut my grass.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, dude, it's good. Okay, Mr. Herrera.

[Nick]

Hey, look, I had to do it. It's a rite of passage.

[Brandon Herrera]

He cut my grass. My kids cut his grass. It's, you know, it's a whole give and take.

[Eli]

Your kid's name. That's weird.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's weird, dude.

[Eli]

Cut the R. God damn it.

[Brandon Herrera]

John C. Garrett.

[Nick]

God, you don't have them yet. You can't say.

[Cody]

In Q. It's fine.

[Eli]

So you did. You had a whole thing planned out and she didn't know about. You even had a photographer there, right?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, we brought a Phoenix out who does beautiful strangers on Instagram.

[Cody]

Why is Finn following us? Don't worry about it.

[Eli]

La. No, no, don't expect anything. Just play it cool. How'd it go, though? Like, it.

[Brandon Herrera]

It was good, man. Went out to the beach on the Hotel Del. Right in front of the Hotel del Coronado. And. And like I said, my friend Phoenix was out there, and I was trying to distract her because she was looking at him. She was like, he looks familiar. And I was like, no, no, no, he doesn't look familiar. Look at that wave out there. That wave is crazy. There's surfers and stuff out there in the thing. And so Finn. Or not Finn. Excuse me. He's the photographer. Yeah, Phoenix, the photographer. He's like, that way, that way, that way, that way, that way. And so I'm, like, trying to distract her, but while I'm walking out there and I'm looking at him.

[Nick]

You're doing the Soy Jack meme.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, look at that. That mountain out there looks cool, doesn't it? Like, I'm gonna put this reflector right here.

[Eli]

Just. Oh, trash. You know, it's like getting the perfect light set up for one shot is that he was doing all it for a single shot.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick]

What was funny is his disguise. When he FaceTime later, he's like. He's wearing. I love Phoenix to death. He's like one of my favorite people. Very genuine, wholesome guy wearing. Wearing this gay little hat that is just like, oh, this is my disguise.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And Moody was like that. That was the reason I identified him.

[Eli]

You have the nose.

[Nick]

Shades.

[Brandon Herrera]

No one knows who I am.

[Eli]

Right?

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, she recognized him because he had the hat on. He was like, I wore it so she wouldn't recognize me, but she was like, look at that guy with the hat right there. Like, no, don't look at that guy. Don't look at that. Don't look at that guy.

[Nick]

If there was somebody wearing that hat on the beach, that would be all I could look at. It's like one those, like, 1920s paper boy hats.

[Eli]

Oh, my God.

[Cody]

I need a little, like, the uncircumcised hats.

[Nick]

Like the Peaky Blinders.

[Eli]

Yeah, with the.

[Cody]

The. The foreskin over the bell.

[Nick]

Somebody was wearing that on the beach at Hotel Del Coronado. That would be the only thing I was looking.

[Brandon Herrera]

I know. He even sewed the razors into the hat too. It was weird, man.

[Nick]

He cut a homeless guy.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, he killed a homeless man while we were on the beach.

[Eli]

My name's Eagle Geneva.

[Brandon Herrera]

He did yell at some people, by.

[Eli]

The way, to get out of the.

[Brandon Herrera]

Way of the photos, because we were walking down there, and we've been planning this all morning. And he was walking down there, and, like, some people stepped in the shot. And as. As we're walking down, I can see him screaming at people. He's like, get the. Out of the way.

[Eli]

Will you marry me?

[Nick]

Move.

[Brandon Herrera]

Move.

[Eli]

It's like, whoa. Okay.

[Brandon Herrera]

Good time. Good times, though.

[Nick]

Who's that guy in the funny hat yelling at people and threatening.

[Brandon Herrera]

Baby, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry.

[Eli]

And then she said yes, obviously.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, she didn't say yes. She hugged my head and cried. Yeah, and cried a little bit.

[Eli]

Did you cry?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, out of my penis.

[Eli]

You just. Any romance gone. I cried out my penis.

[Nick]

Also, his mother.

[Eli]

I know.

[Brandon Herrera]

I gotta hold back the jokes now. Get it out of the way.

[Cody]

Now she knows you've had sex.

[Eli]

It's gonna be a good episode today. Tonight's gonna be rough for the second one.

[Nick]

Oh, just like Nashville. Like the.

[Brandon Herrera]

The.

[Nick]

The Nashville live show where we did two shows in one night. The first show was like, all right, got the nerves out. And then the second show, we were just belligerent.

[Cody]

Everyone loved it the entire time.

[Brandon Herrera]

It was a good time.

[Eli]

It was a rough, rough time where.

[Nick]

We were like, hey, if anybody's carrying a gun in here, show it to us now.

[Cody]

Oh, that's the one. That was super weird. And they thought we had guns.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, they were. That was the one. They were scared of us.

[Cody]

One fan walks up with an empty tube, and Everybody freaks out at 4s.

[Eli]

Do look like rocket launchers. They are rocket launchers. If you don't know better. I'd be like, huh?

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, the. The manager of the show. We've talked about this before on the podcast. The manager of the show came back and he's like, the staff is really scared of you guys. I was like, why? Someone brought a rocket launcher into the theater. Ah, it doesn't work. It's fine.

[Cody]

It's not a real rocket launcher we're all carrying.

[Eli]

It's good. They'll protect you. I promise that.

[Nick]

Yeah, this would be the worst place for somebody to try something, have a.

[Eli]

Be around, find out.

[Nick]

Most of the audience is, like, prior service of some. Some capacity. There's probably a couple guns in the room.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh yeah, there's a couple guns.

[Eli]

It's gonna be like a zombie movie. They just like slowly rip the criminal apart. I guarantee it would just be a horde.

[Cody]

What was it, Atlanta? No, it was San Diego. Hannah got too high off that edible and after the show she was freaking out and she, we let it talk about that. Yeah, she ate far too much of an edible that she should not have.

[Nick]

Eaten from a stranger.

[Cody]

No, it was from her brother from a dispensary. But it was like, this is 100 milligrams, have one square. It's not working. After 10 minutes I'm going to eat the whole thing. Type of a situation. 100 milligrams on fucking Pluto. By the time the show gets done.

[Nick]

She'S freaking out, she's walking extraordinarily well.

[Eli]

Five milligrams is like will fucking send you to the moon. So 100 milligrams you are, you have seen God, you talk to him, you go back, you, you're, you're living life.

[Cody]

So she's like having a panic attack and she's like, I don't want you doing live shows anymore. Out of all those people, they're looking at you. It's so scary. What if one person there wanted to kill you? Blah, blah, blah. I was like, sweetheart, if somebody was gonna kill me and they did it at my live show, my last moments would be getting to watch the 2,499 other people. Literally rip them into pieces. Literally. A zombie mo.

[Brandon Herrera]

Lying about getting ripped.

[Eli]

Why are they eating him?

[Nick]

Everybody goes home with a piece of.

[Eli]

Like, it's disgusting. She was a champ though. She was a champ. She had the, the time of her life. I just remember walking up in her eyes like this.

[Cody]

Getting the door dash dude for Papa Murphy's that I had to call at 2am after the show to get her food was pissed cuz we had to get food to Coronado across the door dash. Drivers love driving pizza across that big ass bridge. He messaged me, he's like, hey man, just so you know, this could be like 25 minutes of my life driving across this bridge. I was like, I'll take care of your tip. Don't worry about it.

[Eli]

My bad, my bad.

[Nick]

It's an interesting bridge. I, I don't think it's that crazy though.

[Cody]

What?

[Nick]

Like it's not that big of a. Like it's a big bridge but it's.

[Cody]

Like takes two minutes. Just like if you're doing door dash like you to drive, it's kind of out there. Compared to where everything else is. You know what I mean? If you're just delivering drunk people food at one in the morning, running from bell to houses and back.

[Nick]

Well, don't they account for that, though?

[Eli]

What?

[Nick]

Distance?

[Cody]

I have no idea.

[Eli]

Distance. Sometimes I think. But still, it's at the whim. It could be probably like, if there's any tolls for that.

[Cody]

It was drunk and it was 2am I don't care. I'll give them a big tip. It's fine.

[Eli]

You got stuck on the tarmac. I want to hear that. I know you were probably human.

[Cody]

There's no story invol. It's the plane showed up 30 minutes, and they're like, oh, well, the plane in front of you showed up late, so they just pulled in. So now we have to sit here and sit on the plane for another hour, do nothing the entire time.

[Eli]

That was it.

[Cody]

It was. Yeah, pretty straightforward. Standard airplane because, you know, like, the.

[Nick]

AC on planes doesn't really work when.

[Cody]

They'Re on the ground or when I'm fat.

[Nick]

So I'm just imagining. Well, that was my next part. I'm just imagining sitting next to you on the ground on the tarmac, just waiting.

[Cody]

It's true.

[Nick]

And just getting my. My left side of my arm progressively more moist.

[Cody]

You're just breathing heavily sitting next to some kid that got upgraded. He was coming out here to see his sister graduate to be a Navy corpsman. So he was cool the entire time, which is unfortunate because I love. I love when I end up sitting in first class and it's just some snooty. That's mad that I exist the entire time. Hilarious.

[Nick]

What, this guy win a contest or something?

[Cody]

Dude, that's the look you get every time, and I love it.

[Nick]

My favorite part is, like, going out with our crowd. You get a bunch of just tattooed guys and T shirts and, you know, wearing camo. You go to like, a nice steakhouse and just the looks that we get. Do you remember that one time they stopped us from going to the bathroom?

[Eli]

They escorted us. It was wild.

[Brandon Herrera]

The.

[Nick]

The servers. It was like a pretty. Pretty nice steak joint. But it was like a couple years ago. It was in San Antonio. We, like. I think it was baddie, like, me, batty. You and Cody were going to the.

[Eli]

Bathroom, like a party or something?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, we had a bunch of people out there, but we were gonna get up.

[Nick]

We were getting up to go to the bathroom, and they thought we were dying and dashing. So the servers formed a wall, a human wall in front of the front door.

[Eli]

Yeah. They were like, follow us. And they escort us to the bathroom because we couldn't find it. Obviously.

[Nick]

Like the implication was they thought we were going to sprint out.

[Cody]

I thought you guys could play red rover.

[Eli]

You just run. I win. Okay, where's the restroom at?

[Nick]

It's like, what the, like now I want to do it on a principle.

[Cody]

So when last time I was here, I brought my dad down and I bought him a first class plane ticket because he never sat first class. And it's like a six in the morning flight. We're headed back to Iowa.

[Nick]

Oh no.

[Cody]

And my dad is probably still drunk from the night before. And the dude sitting next to him is just like overly aggressively nice business suit with like this big ass fancy Breitling watch on like all this. And he's just visibly mad that my dad is sitting next to him in a fat electrician shirt and my dad just leans into it. My dad drank like six Jack and Cokes at 6am on his flight next to this guy.

[Nick]

Hell yeah.

[Cody]

Just furious the whole time. I did sit there eating beef jerky.

[Eli]

Drink.

[Brandon Herrera]

Because if you guys don't know on first class, they'll just feed you drinks and it's free right at the beginning.

[Eli]

Too, before you take off.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. They'll say, what do you want to drink before we take off? And they'll just feed you a drink.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

So dad's just going, ham, dude.

[Cody]

My dad's like, I don't want to cost you any more money. I was like, dad, it's free. Drinks in first class are free. He goes, literally, I'll take Jack and Coke. Yes.

[Eli]

He's trying to be respectful and immediately free.

[Cody]

That would be disrespectful to not drink as much as possible since you already paid for it.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's.

[Nick]

It's like an all inclusive resort for him now. I was like, oh, I, I've never been cut off on a plane before.

[Eli]

Cody.

[Brandon Herrera]

No.

[Eli]

I think Cody's almost got cut off from a flight before.

[Cody]

I'm.

[Brandon Herrera]

Weren't we on a flight one time where the lady was like, you've had too much to drink. We've only had two drinks and we hadn't been drinking all day.

[Nick]

I don't think, I don't think I was there for that. I think that was the one where you were in California, but I don't remember.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, I had one lady come up and I think we just had differing political views. Might have been wearing a shirt or something that she didn't like. And Came up and was like, you're cut off. My ma' am, respectfully, I'm in first class. I haven't drank today, and I just want to drink. She's like, no, you're cut off. And, like, wouldn't let me drink. Yeah, it was weird, weird stuff.

[Cody]

What was the flight? It was one of the live shows, because I remember Rich was there, and the one stewardess was just literally not even bringing drinks anymore, just giving out the miniature bottles.

[Nick]

Like, she would do, like, four of.

[Cody]

Them in her face to set up on your tray in front of you. I was like, what is happening?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, so sometimes you get, like, the really nice ones, and then sometimes you get the ones that are like, no, no more. It's weird. It's just like a coin toss. Anytime you fly, that's a general rule to life, though.

[Nick]

Like, if you're just sweet to people.

[Brandon Herrera]

Exactly.

[Nick]

Like, yeah, there's no reason to be an asshole. Just. Just be nice. Like, befriend the people. You get better service. Everybody has a better time. It's like, it's a win win. Don't be an asshole. But sometimes you get those just. They want to be a dick.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. Yeah. And, like, anytime we fly, there's. There's. We don't act up. We don't. We're not loud. We don't fight with other passengers. Like, we're the nicest people ever.

[Nick]

We've occasionally been kind of loud.

[Brandon Herrera]

Okay. We did have the lady on one of the live tours come up and she's like, you guys are in a band or something, right? You remember her?

[Eli]

Yep, I remember.

[Cody]

I remember the first.

[Eli]

No, I remember that one.

[Cody]

What is it? What's the one where you got. There's no assigned seating. Is that Southwest? Yeah, I remember the first tour we were going on. I don't remember the venue, but we do this cute. That. Well, Cody and Brandon do this cute thing where they don't board the plane until they're calling your name over the loudspeakers because you're at the bar. So I participated in that as well. But because it's Southwest, the only thing left is middle seats. So I'm walking down the middle seat and I see two, like, smaller women, and I'm sitting between the two smaller women because I'm fat, and that's the most room. That makes sense. Like Tetris. And I go, excuse me, I can sit behind you. And Cody behind me goes, ha. You gotta sit next to the fat guy. The whole plane gets dead ass quiet. They don't know that we know each other.

[Nick]

That's. That's some of my favorite. Is when the plane has no clue. We're all tight. The hijinks you can get. Do you remember that one where it was. I was. This most recent live tour because we were all flying somewhere, but it was all first class. Like, all the. The hosts were first class. And Rich was being. Rich.

[Eli]

Oh, when you walked it. Was it the one where it was like, oh, my God. Is. Is that your YouTuber? We always with each other too.

[Nick]

Yeah, we with each other all the time. So we're never loud. I'm like, we have the propensity to be quite loud.

[Eli]

Was that the one who was like.

[Cody]

Or were you.

[Eli]

Who was it when they, like, Brandon walked around?

[Cody]

I know Rich did that to me at least once, but I think we've done it to everybody at some point. Yep.

[Nick]

And the just, like, egging it on with the stewardess. It's like, oh, no. You really should ask. Like, seriously, He's a somebody.

[Cody]

Oh.

[Eli]

And it goes. That's what it was you, Richard to you. And then you guys joined. It's like, holy shit, it's fat electrician. Just going towards fat electrician. The YouTube star, dude.

[Cody]

I don't. I don't think it was last. I remember where the flight was. It was recent. It might have been for the drive tanks thing or the time before one of the two. I'm in, like, the third or fourth row back. The dude in the very front row. So it's just like the wall with the TV screen on front of him. I sit down, he's three seats in front of me. And on his screen, he just has his phone sitting on top of the tv. He's watching his phone. I'm not, like, paying attention to it. And the two women in front of me are, like, snickering back and forth and then pointing at me and looking, and I like, take my headphones off. I was like, yeah. And she's like, is that you? And the dude is watching one of my videos at the front of the screen. I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's. That's me. It was. It was something. That's wild.

[Nick]

I had that in San Fran where I was. I was doing the. The speaking engagement for young Americans for Liberty. And, like, I was at the. The bar, like, waiting for my flight. And I. I look over and the guy next to me, like, literally, from me to you, guy next to me is watching your video, and I'm just like, I'm not gonna Say anything.

[Eli]

Just drink and move on.

[Nick]

There was one. I always love that where, you know, you're making fun of somebody or you're one of our friends, like, for being, you know, YouTube famous or whatever. But the. Earlier at the. The brunch place, we're like. We had a couple drinks and like, we were just like, all right, we gotta bail out because we gotta go work. And the. The. The waitress is just like, oh, work. Like, now you're going to go work. What do you guys do?

[Brandon Herrera]

Connor. Oh, you talking about Connor?

[Cody]

Yeah.

[Eli]

Connor says, like, what do you do?

[Nick]

What do you do for work? He's like, odd bludgeon puppies to death with a hammer without skipping a beat.

[Eli]

And then I go. And Nordstrom Rack.

[Nick]

And Nordstrom Rack.

[Eli]

The girl's face.

[Cody]

You weren't there for that.

[Nick]

She goes, oh, oh.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, Connor kept it going. He's like, yeah, that's what we do.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Nick]

It released.

[Eli]

It released stress after Nordstrom Rack. And then just.

[Brandon Herrera]

Damn. God, you couldn't just say YouTube or something? And then Legend puppies.

[Eli]

Brandon got recognized. It was like, Brandon Gonzalez.

[Nick]

That was hilarious.

[Eli]

That's the wrong Mexican last name.

[Nick]

My favorite part. He's like, oh, yeah, no, I. I voted for you. And I was like, I hope you didn't vote Gonzalez, because that was wrong guy.

[Eli]

Dude. He knew. Brandon. Brandon, is that you? Brandon, is that you? Brandon's like, yeah. He's like, Brandon Gonzalez, like, walks up and shakes his head.

[Nick]

It was funny. Grown dogs to death with hammers.

[Eli]

Sorry. He didn't say puppies. He said grown dogs makes it.

[Brandon Herrera]

We be dogs to death with hammers.

[Eli]

Why do you start at the tail?

[Nick]

It was a hard shift at Nordstrom Rack.

[Eli]

Yeah, it was a hard shift at Nordstrom Rack Holiday. Holy. He's like, God damn it. And then I rolled through a stop sign in my gated community, and the cop followed me here.

[Nick]

Subtle flex, but. All right.

[Eli]

I. The gay community, I don't think about, like, stop.

[Cody]

My wife grew up in a town without stop signs. You got one in your gated community?

[Eli]

That's exactly.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's wild that he was. He followed you here, though. Yeah, I saw his car Caddy cornered into the bar in the. Into our little driveway there. It's like he was really trying to get you.

[Eli]

I was. I had no idea. I was like, oh, he's following me. Cool. Because I just wrote it's.

[Nick]

I just assumed it was ice.

[Eli]

Same. They got me rolled up, pulled in. He followed all the way to the house to get out, and he's like, hey you, Eli. I was like, what's up, man? He's like, oh, never mind. I was like, oh, hey, blah blah, saying thank you for what you're doing. I was like, oh, the guys. You want to meet him? He's like, can't. Can I Like, yeah, come on. And immediately everyone's like, oh, what's up?

[Nick]

We had a county deputy that was just like in the podcast, we did.

[Brandon Herrera]

Have a sheriff's deputy just walk in here and take pictures with us. He was rad.

[Eli]

I like, Connor walked out in his bathing suit and then walked away immediately. He's just in shorts.

[Cody]

He walks listening to music on a cassette player. I didn't know we were expecting company.

[Brandon Herrera]

Picture Connor just wearing his shorty shorts outside sunbathing and walking in and there's a cop there and he's still got his tape player in his hand.

[Nick]

Connor's just defaults back to like base stat base settings.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like, I don't talk to cops. Are you showing the class your tape player that you have?

[Cody]

You got a walkman.

[Brandon Herrera]

People? Music.

[Nick]

A box moves across the floor and.

[Brandon Herrera]

I'm like.

[Nick]

That'S not Jeffers Sutherland.

[Eli]

That's Jeff, that's Jamie. Now you're just watching one of your buddy gets ripped up in the sky, huh? We got everyone in the MGS5 right now.

[Cody]

Like, oh, Jesus.

[Brandon Herrera]

Everyone is playing thanks for getting my son addicted to drugs again. Like, dude.

[Eli]

And MGS5.

[Nick]

You know MGS5?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, dude, it was heroin. Now you guys got them him fucking Metal Gear 5.

[Eli]

He. He's. We watched him for a night. He came over, hung out and then just had the.

[Nick]

He just watched playing, spoofing the Konami fence.

[Eli]

He made him buy it. Brandon's fucking killing it. And Connor just started playing it. Just. Everyone's playing that game right now.

[Nick]

That's like all my spare time at night is fucking MGS5 now.

[Eli]

Cody, do you want better sex?

[Brandon Herrera]

I love better sex.

[Eli]

Do you want to start having better sex immediately?

[Brandon Herrera]

Can our new sponsor Adam and Eve help with that?

[Eli]

That's right. Dump your girlfriend. You want better sex? Start over.

[Brandon Herrera]

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[Eli]

Adam and eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Cody, look what I got for 50% off.

[Brandon Herrera]

Whoa. Wanna them just like all Adam and Eve orders. Does it include free shipping and rush processing?

[Eli]

Cody, can I see you with these tits on?

[Brandon Herrera]

Don't want your neighbors to see getting the Gapenator 10,000. They offer discreet shipping.

[Eli]

My tits are lopsided.

[Brandon Herrera]

They're a little. A little wonky, buddy.

[Eli]

Go. Did you see this toy I ordered? It's called the Green Goblin.

[Brandon Herrera]

Was it sent discreetly for free and fast?

[Eli]

It was. And then my neighbors judged me because I opened it on the front lawn. Cody, don't.

[Cody]

Wait.

[Eli]

Better sex is just a click away.

[Brandon Herrera]

Lick me, daddy. So how do we get 50% off that one item? With free shipping and rush processing?

[Eli]

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[Brandon Herrera]

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[Eli]

Dude, why is that so weird?

[Brandon Herrera]

Like when you say it doesn't sound right?

[Eli]

No.

[Cody]

Yes, That's.

[Eli]

That's right. Unsub. That's U N S U B. [e-mail].

[Brandon Herrera]

This is a specific offer for this podcast, so be sure to use the code unsubscribe to get your discount. To get your discount, spice up the.

[Eli]

Bedroom by bringing more pleasure and satisfaction to it. Wish I could satisfy my partner.

[Brandon Herrera]

I'm sorry, can you teach me Adam and Eve, kid Cody?

[Nick]

Me?

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, that's just what that's like 10 years old now, right?

[Cody]

Is need to play League of Legends and listen to war documentaries like adults.

[Brandon Herrera]

Be like your Uncle Nick.

[Nick]

I wish I could, but I've had the man who Sold the World by David Bowie stuck in my head for the last seven days. I don't know what to do.

[Eli]

Such a good song.

[Nick]

It is a great song. I was listening to it on the way here.

[Eli]

I. Oh, that's on my, like, my playlist. And then in the game, you know how you can play the cassette? Yeah, I started doing that. Yeah.

[Nick]

I didn't realize you could do that during missions. Yeah, that's all I do.

[Eli]

You just turn on your ipod.

[Cody]

It's like baby driver.

[Brandon Herrera]

It is.

[Nick]

It's all 80s too. It's all good. Like the final countdown by Europe and like. Like that Billy Idol rebel yell.

[Eli]

You get in your vehicle, just run people over. Tranquil steel.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, John started asking me about the. The lore of the when you kidnap someone. He was kidnapping puppies too. You time to the balloon.

[Eli]

Oh, yep.

[Brandon Herrera]

He was like, oh, right. I was like, no, the CIA actually attached people to balloons and a C130 will come by and pick them up with a hook back in the day. He was like, wait, that's real. Yeah. See how you did that back in the day, buddy?

[Eli]

It's Wild. Oh, there's.

[Nick]

They experimented with a bunch of it, right? For, like, rapid extraction.

[Eli]

Yep. That had to kill a few people.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Cody]

I mean, going from zero to 700 miles an hour immediately. Yeah, I would assume.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, man.

[Nick]

Real stretchy bungee for that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, dude. Make an omelette, break a few eggs.

[Eli]

Oh, dude, I would not want to be testing that one. That's like, prisoners get tested first. We'll reduce your sentence. Just test this out for us. The first one died.

[Nick]

Was that skyhook or what?

[Cody]

Was that skyhook?

[Brandon Herrera]

Okay, yeah. Batman did it in Dark Knight, right? He threw that little Asian man out the window.

[Nick]

The Asian guy.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. Take it. Oh, man. I want to talk about John's lore this summer. Nick.

[Nick]

Oh, boy.

[Cody]

What?

[Brandon Herrera]

John. John's gonna be going to camp with Nick for a couple weeks this summer.

[Cody]

Sent to Iowa. Two, three weeks.

[Nick]

Forget.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Two, three years.

[Brandon Herrera]

Forget Dagestan. Two years.

[Eli]

Wait. Okay, what's going on?

[Cody]

John's gonna come do Jiu jitsu and learn how to sell T shirts.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. John's gonna live with him for two or three weeks, and they're gonna sell T shirts and do Jiu Jitsu?

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Nick]

He's going.

[Eli]

Shirts made here.

[Cody]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

No, John's making this.

[Eli]

John's, like, weaving.

[Brandon Herrera]

He's like, quack duck. Okay.

[Nick]

Oh, that's. That's interesting. Okay. That's why you brought it up when we were talking about Asian guy. Yeah, because, like.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, just like. Like, straight suffering. That's what I'm talking about. He's gonna go with Nick. He's gonna learn how to. How to suffer and. And weave T shirts. Quacking T shirts on his own.

[Eli]

That's gonna be good. When do you get them?

[Brandon Herrera]

Whenever summer starts.

[Cody]

Yeah. Whenever he wants. Really?

[Eli]

I love this.

[Cody]

I can roll now. So we're good?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Nick]

It's gonna be selling all your T shirts. It's like the Dave Chappelle bit. Like, I got a whole ass sweatshop down.

[Cody]

It just means Cody's gonna start selling some merch for once.

[Brandon Herrera]

Dam.

[Nick]

Taking poison my Soul taking poison damage.

[Brandon Herrera]

1, 1, 1.

[Eli]

He's gonna come back a little monster.

[Cody]

I hope so. Be good. He's big enough, kid.

[Brandon Herrera]

He's about your size now.

[Cody]

Man, he is not 260.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. No. You know what? He's getting there.

[Eli]

He's bigger than me.

[Brandon Herrera]

I don't know. He beat Connor.

[Eli]

My sons. But.

[Cody]

I love you. Don't. Don't set me up to hurt.

[Nick]

Was. We were at top golf the other day. John and Connor were Getting into it just like talking each other. He's like, am I, am I going to have to fight a 16 year old? And I'm like, I would recommend striking because I'm not confident about your odds if he hits you on the ground.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, I mean, sometimes, you know, we'll be at the house, we'll have a couple drinks in this and be like, all right, fight John. That's a animal. Not, not compared to Nick, but just.

[Nick]

Bring out the rancor.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. John has some ground game on him, so I'm excited to send him to Nick's place for a couple weeks just to have some fun.

[Eli]

Do that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Some corn.

[Cody]

Every time Cody comes down from his room with John on a leash, it's like Hopper, the crazy grasshopper from A Bug's Life, tore him away from his animated. Beat up your friends. Every time we get drunk, running around. Having a child is basically like having a Pokemon, essentially. Watch it fight people.

[Eli]

John use claw attack. John use claw attack.

[Nick]

The sooner you beat up Uncle Connor, the sooner you can get back to your hentai.

[Eli]

John get back. You just throw a rock at his head, knock him out. Painted red and white with a circle on it.

[Brandon Herrera]

John use boulder.

[Cody]

Yeah.

[Eli]

Here. John used nine miles. Just throw a gun next to him.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh God, he's learning from my cop day. John throw an unregistered firearm near him.

[Eli]

John uses unregistered firearms.

[Nick]

The drop screwdriver.

[Cody]

Did you see that meme that went viral on AX last week? Which it was. It was a listing for a gun. It was on like gun Broker or whatever, some gun auction website. But it was. What's it called? Where like the police department selling it off.

[Nick]

Yeah, it's evidence locker gun.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh yeah.

[Cody]

So it was a. It was a high point. But it didn't say evidence locker. It said like former cop carry gun or something. And it was a high point. And some, some army dude commented and he's like. At first I was wondering why the cops would have a high point. Yeeter. And then I remembered why we carried a PKM when I was in the army.

[Nick]

Why is that, Nick?

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh.

[Eli]

Dude. Are there any.

[Brandon Herrera]

Are there any buybacks coming up soon? We've already done a couple of them that one ever.

[Nick]

So I was talking with my boy, shout out to Westell. I was talking to him apparently on Monday.

[Eli]

They've got some that got sent to me today by my other buddies. I never seen it before.

[Brandon Herrera]

I saw, I seen that.

[Nick]

That's so good.

[Cody]

They should make it. They should invent a gun that doesn't whisper stuff to you.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's a Connor gun right there, dude.

[Nick]

But my boy Wes was telling me that they've got a bunch of gun bills that they're voting on in Texas in a couple days and one of them is basically bans state sponsored gun buybacks.

[Cody]

Good.

[Nick]

Because they don't do anything. Although it's going to hurt my content.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, it's fun to go to those as well as me and Eli have seen coming with you to those things.

[Eli]

You Shaq, Why don't you show up dog? Was your gun buy back?

[Cody]

I. I bought and built out the gaudiest deer hunting rifle for Iowa this year. It's hilarious.

[Brandon Herrera]

What'd you do?

[Cody]

Nick Marlin, the lever action company came out with a magpul edition. So it's a magpul stock magpul malt M lock front grip on a stainless steel lever action 4570 and it's a Trapper edition. So the whole gun is only like.

[Nick]

This big because I always got those. One of those states that has like the gay hunting law.

[Cody]

Yeah. So it's got. Iowa's so flat you have to hunt with straight wall cartridge. So like you can't hunt with any high powered rifles.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Cody]

So it used to be shotgun only forever.

[Nick]

I love the idea. Like you can't hunt with a high power rifle. So Instead I'm using a 4570 government.

[Cody]

I mean the logic is the 4570 is like it's hitting the dirt after 300 yards.

[Nick]

It's a bison killer. I'm like not aware.

[Cody]

So I have that gun with a can on it. Because they just legalized suppressed hunting in Iowa and there's a acog.

[Eli]

Oh hey, you're gonna just die. That's all we need.

[Nick]

You want to know why you've never seen a buffalo in the wild. 4570 government.

[Brandon Herrera]

Colorado just came out with their this morning. They finally signed that bill, right? Yeah, yeah. Detachable magazine own rifles.

[Nick]

It was a super restrictive gun bill as I know. We were fighting it for a while.

[Eli]

Oh, that's. Oh, so it's like California's legislation.

[Nick]

I think it's worse. Hey. Yeah, in a couple ways it's kind of worse.

[Brandon Herrera]

Everyone was happy and clapping. They're like, oh yay. No more detachable magazines.

[Eli]

Crime will go down.

[Nick]

You had that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Crime's gonna drop now.

[Eli]

We can't wait to see how this works.

[Nick]

It's almost like we've seen it before. And that doesn't have any correlation to Crime whatsoever. Oh, fucking wild. It was, there was the video where it was basically a bunch of people that were testifying in front of the state legislature, like, please don't take my constitutional rights away from me. This is illegal. You shouldn't be doing this. And it was the state legislator that was drawing on her iPad. She was doing like a coloring book.

[Eli]

That's the one. I see. It was multiple people, like watching videos, doing anything but paying attention.

[Nick]

Yeah, fuck you.

[Brandon Herrera]

All right.

[Nick]

Something, something, Never mind.

[Brandon Herrera]

I gotta ask you, Chicago crime in 2025, how many people have been shot in Chicago this year? April 2020-500120-03402 people have been shot in Chicago this year. Man, that's down 104. Yeah. 104 homicides in one city. The strictest gun laws in the country.

[Eli]

That is.

[Cody]

I tried having that argument with somebody and they were like, well, yeah, but the only reason they have that is because in Indiana the gun laws are so relaxed that people from Chicago just drive to Indiana and buy guns and then do violent gun crime. And I go, cool. So then why isn't Indiana as dangerous as Chicago?

[Brandon Herrera]

Hmm.

[Cody]

Well, okay, well, those factor. What's the other factors involved?

[Nick]

Like, I've been told it's socioeconomic.

[Eli]

What is? Registered gun violence versus non registered. Do you ever have any bad habits?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, I've had bad habits. What, are we doing it now?

[Eli]

Yeah. Okay. If you're part of the 50% of people who try to quit vaping each year, well, you're gonna have to equip yourself with the right tools for the job. Right, Cody?

[Brandon Herrera]

Is it Fume? Eli, can you tell me about Fume?

[Eli]

Well, one thing is it has zero nicotine.

[Brandon Herrera]

You can fidget with it.

[Eli]

Give it to me. Let me fidget.

[Cody]

Fidget.

[Brandon Herrera]

Twisty barrel.

[Eli]

Twisty barrel.

[Brandon Herrera]

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[Eli]

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[Brandon Herrera]

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[Eli]

Not fume, bad habits. It also has an airflow dial.

[Brandon Herrera]

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[Eli]

I like grapefruit.

[Brandon Herrera]

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[Eli]

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[Brandon Herrera]

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[Eli]

Use code unsub to start a good habit today. Clicky barrel code unsub head over there.

[Cody]

Now.

[Nick]

There'S. I did read a statistic about that the other day. Basically. Well, it was something along the lines of, like, guns used in crimes that have been caught. Like recovered guns from crimes. There's a wild. Like, it's a high, wildly high percentage of those that are stolen.

[Eli]

That's what I was gonna say. It has to be a very high percentage on that. And you're like, okay, yeah, a lot.

[Nick]

Of people steal guns specifically just for crime.

[Cody]

Weird.

[Nick]

Yeah, Crazy.

[Cody]

Believe me, when I dip my toe into crime, I'll definitely be using the guns that I bought myself at the store. I definitely won't be acquiring sketchy guns to do bad things with.

[Eli]

Also, hunting with a suppressor was illegal.

[Cody]

Yes.

[Eli]

What's the logic on that?

[Cody]

People are. The people that make the laws about guns don't understand guns.

[Nick]

Oh, yeah. 100.

[Brandon Herrera]

They watch movies.

[Cody]

Do we. Do we need to get in a whole conversation on why democracy sucks? Is that where this is going?

[Nick]

It's like the, the video of the Indian guy. It's like a democracy of the people, by the people, for the people, but.

[Cody]

The people are exactly.

[Eli]

Brandon, you have more ATS stuff coming up, or is it just focusing on that bill and then whatever else you're rolling out? Because you were up there last week in Austin doing some stuff, too. You're going government route again, aren't you?

[Nick]

Well, that was like the term limit stuff. We were working on some of that stuff up there. But I am friends with a couple of the state reps who are just doing really base right now now, which, like, any, Any. Any support I can give for that is awesome. I just like being able to do stuff. You know, there's a lot of people that talk about doing stuff. I like to at least be useful for something. But. Yeah, well, I was going to be talking about some of the ATF stuff that they're rolling back because cash is out now. Cash is no longer Cashel's no longer ATF head. It's the guy who is military.

[Eli]

Right.

[Cody]

Dorsey, Secretary of the Army.

[Nick]

He was also a. I think he was a Republican lawmaker from North Carolina, but he. He's pretty decent. They also fired the deputy director of the atf, who's a total. He was the guy who was responsible for the arm brace stuff. And he also, like, he got. He had like medals and from his service at Waco, like had been in the ATF for 35 years and was like just bragging about all the unconscious constitutional stuff they've been able to do. It's like, yeah, no, that guy should have been fired like day one. That, yeah.

[Cody]

Should be in jail.

[Nick]

You'd be in jail.

[Eli]

Army Secretary Daniel this no army sec.

[Nick]

So I don't, I don't really have a line of comms with him yet, but I, I am cautiously optimistic. Sounds like he's got a good track record.

[Eli]

Just learn guns, just have people know it.

[Cody]

The wait time for SBRs and suppressors is still really low, so. So funny cool if there wasn't a wait time. But.

[Nick]

I, I know something about that. The, the reason why. Do you know why the wait time shot to zero?

[Cody]

Basically because they know they're about to lose the ability to have tax stamps, so they're trying to green light and collect as much money as possible. If I had to guess, it's actually.

[Nick]

Way more insidious than that. Okay, so it was like kind of like, why did the trains in Germany run on time time, you know, kind of like that. What they were trying to do is they were expecting, this is from what I've, what I've heard, you know, inside and out, they were expecting the arm brace thing to pass or like to be like confirmed by the courts and like that. Basically if you had an arm brace or whatever, like you would have to have registered that as an NFA item, like as an sbr. So they built a huge infrastructure system because they were expecting millions of people to be registering their arm brace, pistols and like that because they were going to make it a felony.

[Cody]

Oh.

[Nick]

And so it literally they were that.

[Cody]

Time they sold tens if not hundreds of millions to firearms, to random everyday citizens and sporting goods stores and then decided it was illegal and they needed to give them money to be able to keep shit they bought legally where.

[Nick]

They were literally going to turn millions of law otherwise law abiding Americans into felons overnight because of an arbitrary ruling. Yeah, that was the exact time. But they built the infrastructure because they were basically going to be pointing a gun at the average American gun owner and saying register it or it's 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine per right, per, per infraction.

[Eli]

That's the, that's the terrifying. It's per infraction.

[Nick]

So yeah, that's why NFA wait, they NFA wait times accidentally went through the floor because that, that got disposed of good. So the reason why it happened wasn't super cool, but I'm glad it did.

[Cody]

When are we gonna get like a huge anti gun guy on the podcast so me and Brandon, everybody could just.

[Eli]

Rip them apart, just actually hear their side.

[Brandon Herrera]

I think a lot of people are scared of us, to be completely honest, man. I've tried to invite people on the podcast. They're like, no, no.

[Nick]

We have invited people with like somewhat conflicting views and they just. We've even invited some of those people to range day. Yeah, it's like, hey, come out and like, seriously, like no strings attached. Come out and see what the culture is actually like instead of, you know, your whatever you think it is up.

[Eli]

Here, a preconceived notion. It's like the guy that you'll get along surprisingly with everyone. You'll see we're not. Everyone's just good dudes.

[Cody]

Everybody's polite when everybody's got a gun.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, well, like we, like, I think we might have talked about it before. We had some people come out to the like one of the last range days that we did who works for some platforms that we work with. And they're like, we thought you guys were going to be unsafe rednecks. It's like, no, we like, this is the most safe environment to shoot a machine gun ever because they won't say it openly.

[Nick]

But then you call them on it like, you thought we were a bunch of dumb hicks, didn't you? And they're just like, like nervous laugh.

[Eli]

If you, if anyone around down stupidly with a gun, we will be the first ones to punch them in the mouth for being unsafe.

[Nick]

You get your ass.

[Eli]

Yeah. So you just get chucked to the ground instantly and then kicked out. I guarantee it.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, dude. And we, we like at our range days we have the, the, our RSOs are special forces dudes. And then we have the sheriff's department standing by also. So like, yeah, we're like, hey, drag that person out of here right now. They're welcome. Ever again.

[Nick]

Yeah, we had a bunch of activity, active duty flight paramedics and like that. Like we, we had, you know, we got infrastructure there to do it as safe as we possibly can, you know, even for the worst case scenario. But you know, we're just a bunch of dumb hicks.

[Brandon Herrera]

What do we know that like shooting machine guns and stuff.

[Cody]

My shooting gloves have those hard knuckle pieces so it doesn't hurt when I drag them on the ground like a idiot. 247 smooth brain.

[Eli]

Nick Horngi oh God, Nick Horngy. You met a dude I didn't know. So any military story, any of the World War I, World War II heroes, any story on an individual, it's all in the Congressional library. You can get them documented or digitized and then put in to always live on there. And then family members can just type in their name. Pull it up. Older dude, he was in the military. Then he did something with the secretary of defense, or he's a doctor guy, very old. Him and his wife, sweethearts. He had a story. I was like, I tried to Google the guy. I'll get his direct name. Kid joined at 12 years old. This is World War II joined forged. He had a hobo forged documents for.

[Brandon Herrera]

Him back in their days right here. Yeah, that time period.

[Eli]

And it was like, oh, so how old are you?

[Nick]

I think I'm 16.

[Eli]

Brought the hobo.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Eli]

To the recruiter. Hobo's like, Yep, my kid's 18 or 16, whatever the signing age to sign them on. He's like, yep, like, go, boom. 12 years old. He is a sergeant at 15 years old, jumping out of airplane. He did, like, he did battle bulge and something else. So he's a SAR already. And then they go and then kick him out of the military because, like, you lied about your age. They found out who's 15 finally. I think it was his mom. His mom wrote a letter to him because he finally wrote. And then she wrote a letter to the army. Was like, hey, my kid is joined at 12. He's 15 right now. Can I have him back? So then he has to go back to high school. He does high school for a couple years, then goes back.

[Cody]

Dude, that's what happened to Jack Lucas? No, the dude that won the medal of Honor. I did a whole video on him. So he.

[Nick]

He didn't wait to watch his content.

[Cody]

You, like, his dad or his stepdad was like, a used car salesman that just wanted to get him out of the. The way. And he's like, I want to join the army. So his. His stepdad, the used car salesman, comes in, is like, smooth, talks to recruiter, convinces him that, no, he is 17 or 18. Whatever the. The age limit was when he was, like, 15. So he ends up joining the army. He's at. I think it was IO Jima. And he jumps on a live grenade and then grabs another live grenade and pulls it under him. Both grenades blow up. Somehow he survives. Oh, he ends up getting the medal of honor. And then he has to go back to high school because they found out he wasn't old enough. So homie was rolling up to high school.

[Eli]

The most decorated war hero, Medal of.

[Cody]

Honor to finish high school.

[Eli]

Like, how would you say to these kids? It's like a 15 year old going to high school or like that. It's like, yeah, I took two grenades. What do you do?

[Nick]

It reminds me of that movie, like Catch Me. You can like the. The. Frank. Frank Abagnale. Yeah.

[Eli]

Ab. Frank Abagnale.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Eli]

Like just cheat. Like at a young age. He was just lying. Or when he did the. When he pretended to be this two Teacher.

[Nick]

He was a st. Substitute teacher, the airline pilot. Like he pretended to be a doctor, like all sorts of. But have you heard the controversy about that since there's like the. There's actual controversy that apparently they're saying that like half of his story was made up, which is hilarious because he.

[Brandon Herrera]

Was a con man. That's like we supposedly passed the bar exam too in the movie.

[Nick]

That's what they said. But like, there's some controversy about like, they're like some of the dates that you gave us for this. You were in jail when that allegedly happened. It's hilarious that the story about like one of the greatest, like the youngest con man ever is like potentially a con man.

[Brandon Herrera]

Surprise.

[Nick]

Conception.

[Eli]

Now it's what he did because he even worked for FBI or whoever, the government for fake and fraudulent checks because he was so good at that. And I know he caught a ton of people because of it.

[Nick]

And later on I think he went to go like found like a anti fraud firm or something like that, like a security firm that basically handled stuff like that.

[Cody]

Just good on him pulling the ladder up on everybody else. What a piece of.

[Eli]

You all down there.

[Nick]

It's a great movie too.

[Eli]

Is that Turn that Milk into Butter?

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Does Scorsese do that?

[Cody]

You want to know what a good movie is? The Death of a Unicorn. I just watched it in theater with my wife like two days ago. It's hilarious. It's got Paul Rudd and that girl that plays the girl from the Addams Family and the new rerun. Whatever.

[Nick]

Oh, I know what you're talking.

[Cody]

Popular actress.

[Nick]

I have not seen it.

[Cody]

Such a good movie.

[Nick]

Wednesday.

[Cody]

Yeah, Wednesday. Adams. What's her girl that plays her? It's her and Paul Rudd and they like go out and they're meeting with some like dying, have cancer, whatever, and he's like on his deathbed and Paul Rudd's the lawyer that's gonna like oversee the estate and he's like trying to close this deal and they Spoiler alert. They hit a unicorn on their way up there into this guy's like huge mansion out in the woods. And the unicorn, dead body. They don't know what to do, so they throw it in the trunk. And then the unicorn has like healing properties and it turns into like this whole show just spirals. But it's just this movie of like there's zero fat on the movie. It's like John Wick.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like there's no background fun to watch.

[Cody]

Here's what happened. Just action for an hour and 20 minutes. Five minute conclusion. Credits roll, the end. Just turn your brain off and laugh.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, just fun.

[Eli]

This is wild.

[Nick]

Cocaine bear. Kind of.

[Cody]

I haven't seen Cocaine Bears.

[Eli]

Oh, dude.

[Cody]

Is it good?

[Eli]

Have you watched it?

[Brandon Herrera]

No, I haven't seen it.

[Nick]

I haven't seen it either. I just know the premise is this.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like hobo with a shotgun.

[Eli]

Yeah, it's Cocaine Bears. I think it was just like, hey, it was. Let's just have fun with this. Like it.

[Cody]

Well, it's based off real life.

[Eli]

Yeah. Other than they like amp.

[Nick]

Well, I'm like extremely loosely.

[Cody]

Yeah. Well, it's like every horror movie ever, they're like, this is based off of true events. It's like there was in fact a farmhouse.

[Nick]

There was a farmhouse where somebody heard some steps. One.

[Cody]

Yeah.

[Eli]

A cocaine bear. They have the kids do coke in it too. That movie? Yeah, dude, that. That movie's a fun ass time. Like the kids find it, they don't know what it is. They accidentally get into it.

[Cody]

It's too hot. This cocaine's too cold.

[Eli]

They're like, what's wrong?

[Cody]

This cocaine's just right.

[Eli]

What's wrong with your kid? I don't know. And he's like, I feel so good. Like they're running. The bear is just mauling everyone. Everyone that's violent as. And then it's just coked up out of its mind. It falls in love with cocaine. So then it's just.

[Cody]

Speaking of cocaine and to kill a unicorn. The. Who's the. The actor. He's like the nerdy kid. And meet. We're the Millers or meet the Millers. Whatever the. That movie is.

[Nick]

The guy who plays in the new Marvel.

[Cody]

Yes, he plays in Marvel now. The redhead.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Cody]

Anyways, he. He's like the rich entitled prick son. And he's like. Yeah, he's grinding. Oh, he's like grinding up the unicorn horn.

[Brandon Herrera]

He's the one that's like, you. You want me to suck that Mexican cop's dick and meet The Millers. Oh, God. I haven't seen Meet the Millers in a minute.

[Cody]

What's 10,000? It's like 50 bucks. Oh, I'll just give you 50 bucks.

[Eli]

How the have I never heard of this movie?

[Brandon Herrera]

He turned out to be an incredible actor, not just the punching bag of.

[Nick]

Hollywood because he's something. Adam. I think think 78.

[Cody]

It's a funny movie.

[Eli]

Yeah. So. And its audience love it. Like critics are gonna hit.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yes.

[Eli]

It's like critics versus audience. So it's a good. It's a fun.

[Cody]

Me and Hannah have date night. So I see every movie in the theaters pretty much like just because to do it. And the new Jason Statham movie is super good too.

[Brandon Herrera]

What's he in there?

[Cody]

Working man.

[Nick]

So basically Beekeeper too.

[Cody]

It's Beekeeper 2. It's literally all it is. I don't remember who it was, but I mean the entire. It's. It's another Jason.

[Brandon Herrera]

Stan beats people up. There's.

[Cody]

There's five minutes of introduction of like Jason Statham works construction, but he used to be former sas.

[Nick]

Hey, go beat that guy up.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, wow.

[Nick]

We didn't know he used to be a Navy seal. Now he's going to kill us all.

[Cody]

But in the movie, eight times.

[Eli]

Hey, Brandon, you ever wake up in your bed feeling like you just fought in a war?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Why do you ask?

[Eli]

You ever wake up and feel like you slept in a sauna?

[Nick]

Yeah, I believe that's called night sweats.

[Eli]

Means you got trash mattress.

[Brandon Herrera]

Brandon.

[Nick]

Why are we talking like Macho Man, Randy Savage?

[Eli]

Because today we're talking about her Premiere sponsorship. Ghostbed.com Ghostbed mattresses built with cooling technology.

[Nick]

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[Eli]

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[Nick]

I got you for three minutes, but I got ghostbed all night.

[Eli]

You know what's longer than three minutes? Brandon?

[Nick]

Any sexual experience I've ever had.

[Eli]

Ghostbeds, 20 to 25 year warranty.

[Nick]

And you've got a 101 night night free trial to test it out.

[Cody]

Oh, yeah, and you know what, brother?

[Eli]

They don't just sell mattresses.

[Nick]

They have bases, pillows, sheets, the whole empanada.

[Eli]

Just pick your mattress and grab a bundle. Right now, prices are already lower, but you'll get an extra 10 off when you use code unsubscribe at checkout. Head over to ghostbed.com unsubscribe and get started today.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's ghostbed.com unsubscribe, use the code unsubscribe.

[Eli]

Or I'll start rattling your bed until you do.

[Brandon Herrera]

Sleep better. Stay cooler.

[Cody]

He like ops to carry the M14 to go on like the final mission because that's what he had when he was in the service or whatever. But his, his service buddy that hooks him up with the M14 has this. @ first I thought it was a thermal. Like it's an ungodly big scope. And I was like, what the is that? And he's running around with it, just murking dudes the whole time. And then he finally gets to the keeper. He's got the. Got the little flip down pad on his vest and he's like taking machine gun fire and he flips a little pad down and it's a Bluetooth scope. So he just holds a gun up looking domes. The guy, however, heard of this dude. There's so many good movies out right now that like, they're not major blockbusters, they're just good. They're just silly good 80s movies.

[Brandon Herrera]

We got the Accountant 2 coming out on the 25th. Yeah, I'm stoked for that.

[Nick]

We were just. We all went to my house the other day and watched the Accountant, the original one, just to like prep for it. That was a better movie than I remember it being. I remember being cool, but it was. I was just fun.

[Brandon Herrera]

It doesn't have to make sense. It's just fucking cool as shit.

[Eli]

Those movies are the ones you just go and don't again just go into it having fun. Don't go in thinking it's like, well, this is going to be the next Lord of the Rings or this epic story.

[Cody]

It's never going to happen again.

[Eli]

No. She's going to have a good time. Beekeeper. I love Beekeeper. It was just stupid fun time. Working man sounds like a great movie.

[Nick]

That and like Working Man. I think it would dethrone Snow White.

[Cody]

Yeah.

[Nick]

It was already like tragically crashing. That was some random Jason Statham.

[Cody]

That movie was horrible.

[Nick]

You had to watch it.

[Brandon Herrera]

You went and watched it.

[Cody]

I took my kids. Yeah. It was God awful. Because they originally started out, they had seven dwarves. And then Peter Dinklage.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Cody]

Rode in on his small horse and was like, you can't portray short people as dwarves in a movie. That's bad. And then all the other dwarf actors that aren't a listers are like, bro, there's only like seven roles a year that require a Dwarf. And now there's a movie with seven of them and you're over everybody else. So then they're like mad that they weren't dwarves.

[Nick]

From the guy who made his entire living being called a half man on hbo.

[Cody]

Yeah, he pulled up.

[Brandon Herrera]

Seriously? What happened?

[Cody]

Yes, Peter Dinklage got his panties.

[Brandon Herrera]

Those dudes probably wanted to play that movie. Yeah.

[Cody]

So they were all pissed off.

[Eli]

He pulled up the stool after that.

[Cody]

Okay, well, we're not gonna do.

[Nick]

There's no ladder there. Oh, God.

[Brandon Herrera]

The one we used to get to the high school. We just picked it up and walked away with it, dude.

[Cody]

So then they're like, okay, well, we'll just have seven people. So they basically got like, the seven DEI hires. It was like the. The most diverse seven people on the planet that you could possibly imagine. Only one of them was a little person.

[Eli]

Yep.

[Cody]

And then they leaked that that's what they were doing. And everybody got super pissed. And they're like, no, it's Snow White and the seven Dwarves. Not Snow White and the seven random living in the forest.

[Nick]

So then they're like, Snow White and the seven. The Egypt.

[Cody]

Which is what they did. Which is fine. They cgi. The dwarves.

[Nick]

I heard they look horrible.

[Cody]

They looked fine, to be fair. Like, that was fine. That part didn't bother me. But then, like, they had apparently already hired the seven DEI hires to play in the crew, so they couldn't fire them because they were gonna get sued because they had apparently already filmed, like, half the movie. So now they just like, well, you guys are a band of thieves. So now it's Snow White, the Seven Dwarves, and a band of thieves that were originally the seven Dwarves. So now there's a new band of thieves. So, like, literally the whole movie, the whole storyline's up because it's like 75 of the movie is introducing you to the 30 characters that are now involved in this movie. And then there's like 10 minutes that the whole poison apple and all the. I'm not kidding you. I went up, walked out, took a piss, came back in. Everything regarding a poison apple had already happened, and the movie was over right after they introduced all the characters.

[Eli]

Wait, the poison apple just happens at the end of this?

[Cody]

Yeah, yeah. No, the whole movie is like, 75. Introducing all the characters, and then the whole storyline and conclusion wraps up in, like, 20 minutes.

[Nick]

That this thing.

[Cody]

Really weird.

[Nick]

The thing that shocked me when I saw the clip start to circulate online, like, on Twitter. And is the. The. The screenshot that everybody uses of. Yeah, she's doing the. The Leonardo DiCaprio from Wolf of Wall Street. That. Yeah, all that. I thought that that was a Photoshop. I thought that they were purposely making her look.

[Eli]

Nope.

[Nick]

That's a genuine screenshot from a knife.

[Eli]

The sword, when it's pointed at. I don't know who has a sword, but the sword at her and the.

[Nick]

The huntsman or whatever.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. And she's like, nick, have you seen that? The lady doing like, like acting like she's her. Jamie, bring it up.

[Nick]

You like that is a real, actual screenshot of the movie.

[Brandon Herrera]

Movie.

[Eli]

I don't think I'll ever watch that movie.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, it's something. Oh, let's. You want to talk about Minecraft?

[Cody]

I haven't seen it yet. It's a good.

[Brandon Herrera]

I haven't seen it yet either.

[Cody]

I heard.

[Brandon Herrera]

We should all go see it together.

[Cody]

I saw the one viral clip where when somebody touches the creeper and it starts blinking orange, the one dude yells Allah Akbar really loud in the movie theater and everybody laughs. I saw that part. And that's about. It's like the creeper starts blinking orange, it's about to blow up, and somebody just. Just screams out at the top of their lungs.

[Brandon Herrera]

Dude, they've had to shut down movie theaters this week because when they dropped a tiny zombie on top of the chicken, like, people just go crazy in the theater, start throwing popcorn, start throwing water bottles at the screen.

[Nick]

Minimum wage employees. Because people can't behave in public.

[Cody]

I don't know. I've talked to a couple people that work at movie theaters. A chick, they love that job.

[Nick]

So I just mean, like, having to clean all this.

[Cody]

The amount of. They love it because he's like, dude, the amount of I ipods and that I have for free just falling out of people's pockets. They keep them.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Cody]

Sorry, continue.

[Brandon Herrera]

But no, no, there's just been this big, this big thing going on this week. People going to see the. The new Minecraft movie. And as soon as Jason Momoa shows up in the ring and there's a chicken and little baby zombie drops down on the chicken, everyone just goes crazy and starts throwing popcorn. Jockey. Yeah, the chicken jockey. And it's been a big thing, like, across the United States where people go crazy and just, just, just go absolutely nuts.

[Eli]

Movie theaters. If it was now, it's caught on. So now it's just everything.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, it's called like hell and like Jack Black came out earlier. I think it was today or yesterday. And he was like, yeah, I love it. It. Because people are just going nuts over it. It's like people aren't watching it because it's a good movie. People are watching it because it's such a meme that is such a bad movie.

[Nick]

So I'm not sure I would get any of the jokes. I've never played Minecraft. I don't know if.

[Eli]

I don't know. There's jokes for my. I, Steve. And you dig and you build pretty. Pretty basic.

[Brandon Herrera]

No, we're old.

[Nick]

Dude, you played Minecraft, I think.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, dude, I played Minecraft when John was 2 years old on my lap. I used to play Minecraft beta.

[Eli]

Oh, I got. I. I guarantee. Have you played Minecraft at all? I. Both of y' all the most. It is super hard to be like, oh, this will be fun. And then you start mining and then you find unexplored caves, and then you start building in those unexplored caves, and then you start looking for diamond. It. It gets out of hand real fast.

[Nick]

Did you see the. Because who's the. The. It's Notch, I think. Yep. Creator was the. Yeah, the. The creator of Minecraft. What. What did they say? What was that tweet tweet that somebody.

[Brandon Herrera]

Said about which part?

[Nick]

Where they were accusing him a bunch of like, Forgive me if this is not a verbatim tweet, because this is, you know, a conversation I had two weeks ago, but somebody was accusing him a bunch of. Oh, you mean that racist, homophobic millionaire.

[Eli]

Notch, first off, billionaire.

[Nick]

That's what he literally. He tweeted. He's like, billionaire.

[Cody]

That.

[Eli]

I love this.

[Nick]

It's fucking great, dude.

[Brandon Herrera]

He.

[Eli]

Once he sold out, he sold it for like 3.2, 3.8.

[Brandon Herrera]

He built it in a weekend for a contest or something. A Java contest.

[Eli]

Yep.

[Brandon Herrera]

And then he sold it for how much?

[Eli]

3.2, $3.8 billion to Microsoft. And when he built it, you had 2009, 2010 came out for Alpha. It was dwarf something dwarf, if I remember right. And then it was Minecraft. And you'd have to buy it through his PayPal account because I bought it through PayPal. This is fucking.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, same dude back in the day.

[Eli]

Yeah. And then I remember he posted on our message board in the Minecraft ones that he got flagged. PayPal, like, locked his account because they thought he was laundering money because he was pulling out like $180,000 a day because the game just blew up. And he's like, oh.

[Nick]

I found it. It was. Somebody was quoting something of Notch. And somebody replied, notch is a racist anti Semite millionaire. His input doesn't mean anything. He just goes asterisk. Billionaire.

[Eli]

He's living his best Life. You watch him on. They had him on some talk shows and they're like, so what is it? I was like, oh, just hang out. I'm just rich now. Don't have to worry about anything.

[Brandon Herrera]

He. I talk to him on Twitter sometimes. He replies to some really shit. Yeah, he's pretty based, dude. He just made his what? Microsoft bought Minecraft for 2.5 billion and 20, 2014. He's living his best life now and.

[Eli]

He still has residuals.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, and he's, he's still like, I think he's just talking about making a new game here soon. He's just, he's just chilling and tweeting and like living his best life.

[Nick]

He sold Minecraft but still gets residuals.

[Eli]

He does. Let's see how it worked. How much does not make from mine craft? Hey, Brandon.

[Nick]

Yes, Eli?

[Eli]

When you think of businesses that are just crushing it. Bonker Unsub. What's the first thing to enter your mind?

[Nick]

That's easy, Eli. A good child labor law attorney, huh? Eli? I said Shopify. What did you hear?

[Eli]

Actually, it was the overlooked secret behind the business.

[Nick]

Like I said Shopify.

[Eli]

Oh. Which brings us to today's ad Shopify.

[Nick]

I mean, we use Shopify on a daily basis.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's right.

[Eli]

Right. We use Shopify for Bunker Brandon and Unsub, those magical shoes we have where they're linked through Shopify to the mythical store bunker branding. And because of Shopify, they communicate.

[Nick]

It's like your mom and your dad on their anniversary night, not yours.

[Eli]

Nobody does selling better than Shopify.

[Nick]

They are home of the number one checkout on the planet with shop pay.

[Eli]

Which boosts your conversion up to 50. 50%.

[Nick]

50%. Just like the age of all of our factory workers are 50% the age they need to be to be legally employed in the United States.

[Eli]

Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we get over at unsubscribe or bunker.

[Nick]

Sign up for your $1 per month trial period over at shopify.com unsubpod head.

[Eli]

Over to shopify.com unsubpod to upgrade your sell in today.

[Nick]

Shopify.com unsubpod all lowercase. Like I know it's kind of the meme at this point, but if they release Minecraft 2, it's game over for the the highest grossing game of all time.

[Eli]

The cell made him a billionaire. Additional notch earns like in 2012 from Minecraft sales, he made $101 million.

[Nick]

God.

[Eli]

Yeah, because Minecraft made Microsoft all fucked him. So even if he was like, yeah, give me like 1 to 5% and then do whatever the fuck you want with the rest of it. He, he's, he's quite fine. And to have that overnight success because again, it was overnight. PayPal, he didn't know what to do. PayPal locked his account. Hey, I'm talking to PayPal. They thought I was laundering money. So it's locked. So I can't sell the game right now. Sorry. Gotta figure it out. Got a banking account set up that can handle it and then how to transfer everything. But it was just chaos because again, $180,000 a day or something like that. And he's like, and that was overnight because he free game. Then he was like, I'll just charge 10 bucks for it.

[Nick]

That's life changing money for most people every day. Every day. That's fucking wild, you know, what do.

[Eli]

You do with that?

[Cody]

Whatever you want.

[Nick]

Apparently become an anti Semite on the Internet.

[Eli]

I don't know how much they bought. He's doing quite fine for himself. Nick, what videos do you have in the works for any history shit coming up?

[Cody]

I'm working on John Paul Jones.

[Nick]

Big fan of him as Darth Vader.

[Cody]

No, it's the father of America's navy. So it's basically this Scottish guy that was a merchant marine and then killed one of his crewmen because they tried to have a mutiny. And then he knew he wasn't going to get a fair trial, so he fled to America. And then that was like right when the revolution was kicking off. So he's like, and I'll volunteer for the continental navy. And he does. And he ends up being present in when they attack a new province which is basically the Bahamas. And they launch this guerrilla raid to like seize a bunch of gunpowder and shit. And then he does really good. So they end up giving him a ship and basically just give him the orders of like, hey, go with the British. So he sails across the ocean and launches raids on England. And he's like the first person to like make an attack on mainland England. Like 700 fucking years since the Vikings did it. And it's just a show of a story.

[Eli]

Like wait, when it was they were trying to go after America and he's like this, I'm gonna.

[Cody]

Yeah, well. And that's why it was a brilliant strategy. Yeah, it's like no one's gonna expect that he's back there. They're undefended, so he's terrorizing England. So they're having to send back like a huge portion of Their navy to go patrol to make the citizenry feel safe. So it like just this massively disproportionate effect of like, he just took out two fleets from the British Navy that are no longer allowed to, like, interrupt America's business and like, patrol their coasts. And because they have to now go back and guard their home turf.

[Nick]

It's pretty smart.

[Eli]

Yeah. You're going in. It's like you're back gating.

[Cody]

And he was like.

[Eli]

The whole time, he was like, enough.

[Cody]

Cities, straight up guerrilla warf mindset. He's like, all right, we're going to go in. And this is where this town stores all the coal for the entire region. We're going to go in there and burn down all their coal reserves. Was like the, the he was planning. He's like, we'll see how much they care about owning the new colonies when they're cold all winter. Like, dude was legit as.

[Nick]

Which is also like, just imagine just, just on the logistics alone back in, you know, the, the late 1700s, having to take all of those ships and manpower and everything to the Americas and then immediately send them back.

[Eli]

And what were you waiting for? Message. Yeah of hey, we're getting up over here. Someone went behind us and how many attacking our city?

[Nick]

How many hundreds of dudes and how many, you know, months of time did you just burn and ships.

[Eli]

It's like two months.

[Cody]

Well, he's like, his whole thing was like he, he, he had marines, so. Because, I mean, it's right when the Marine Corps got started at a Ton Tavern. And like he exploited the. Out of having marines. So like his ships, America couldn't build a big warship. Like, they just, they didn't have it. So like he's the USS Ranger was like 18 guns, which wouldn't like a big ship back then was like 42, 50 gun ship. So he's got like, he's got like 18. So he's just got this little fast ship with marines. But he just fucking covered the deck and those little swivel guns, the little tiny cannons and muskets, and he's like, all right, here's the plan, boys. We're just gonna gun it and crash into him. And as soon as we crash tie our ship to theirs and we're gonna go him up and like he, he caught the USS or not the uss the HMS Therapist, which is like an actual British warship. This is like the only time somebody had ever commandeered a British warship that should have outclassed him. He's like, nah, you pulls up next to him, ties his boat to his. And the Marines just go out there and beat the. Out of everybody. His ship sank. That wasn't the Ranger. That was the. The bomb Richard was his ship at the time. His ship ends up sinking because the British are just blowing holes in it, but all the Marines are on their ship. So they just took their ship.

[Brandon Herrera]

The bomb home Richard, or the bomb Richard?

[Cody]

Bomb Richard. It's basically. It's the French version of. Of Bottom Richard, which was Ben Franklin's pen name during the revolutionary warfare.

[Nick]

Really?

[Cody]

Yeah. Poor Richard was what he, like, wrote his. His alias or whatever that he wrote his names under. So that's what the ship was named after. So that ship sinks, but they took over the HMS Therapists, and he basically had to go and dock it inside of a Dutch port, which was a neutral territory. So the British had all these warships just waiting outside the Dutch harbor for him to come out. And he's like, I'm not leaving. And then finally they were putting, like, political pressure, so the Dutch were, like, telling him to off. So he ends up, like, sneaking out in the middle of the night. And they wanted him to. They wanted him to fly a. A French flag. They, like, came up with a legal reason that he would be able to fly a French flag, meaning the British weren't going to be able to attack him.

[Nick]

Oh.

[Cody]

And he's like, no, this is American ship, y' all. So he lost his flag when his ship sank. So he, like, just has like, like the description from, like, Benjamin Franklin and some letters and of.

[Nick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Cody]

This is where the.

[Brandon Herrera]

The.

[Cody]

The serapist flag comes from, is what it's called after the ship, the Serapis. He goes to some Dutch seamstress and she just, like, throws together what she can from the, like, shitty description of the current American flag, and he slaps that on the ship and sails out in the middle of the night and makes his getaway.

[Brandon Herrera]

What does it sound like some we would do? Hey, guys, here's a ship. Okay? What we're gonna do is we're gonna put guns, little guns on the side of it. We're gonna crash into them.

[Cody]

That's the flag that she came up with. That's the only time it's ever, like, been like, legitimately flown in US History. Was some Dutch seamstress.

[Eli]

We need to start using that. I love that flag design.

[Nick]

The. I'm still stuck on the fact, like, that's a. That's a very cool story. I haven't heard that in a While like I just got like flashbacks to high school history. But I, I just, I'm still stuck on Benjamin Franklin's pen name being was Poor Richard. Yeah, imagine all of your diplomacy for a budding country in the middle of a war. Well, I think all the correspondence is being done by a guy under the pen name Broke Dick.

[Cody]

Why? I think these, I think it was like secret letters, sincerely Broke Dick. But like there's just some funny that happens because like back in the day, so like when the Continental Navy was getting started, it, they're trying to start a navy, but like they also don't really want a navy because they don't want to be a global power. They just want people to be leaving the fuck alone. So like a lot of people turn tables, right? Well, he's the reason that we became a like big naval power. So they're not really paying Navy dudes shit, but they're also issuing letters of mark, which basically means like, like any dude that has enough money to buy a boat is legally allowed by the US government to go out and seize British and just keep the spoils.

[Nick]

Is it letters of mark or marquee?

[Cody]

I think it's just letters of mark, short for marquee.

[Nick]

I genuinely don't know.

[Cody]

Either way, they're issuing that. So like that basically makes you a Corsair, you're basically a pirate. But.

[Brandon Herrera]

Exactly, they're just telling rednecks, go be pirate.

[Cody]

Exactly. So like, like everybody's going to do that. So like a lot of the navy dudes that are signing up for him, like every time they get the opportunity to like do some real, that would do damage. They just would kind of want to like go plunder. And he's like trying to be a professional about it. So he, he launches this raid on White Haven and he wants to go like burn down all the ships in the harbor. And his, he like sends out his group and his group goes and does what they're supposed to and the two other groups go and just break into a bar and get shit faced. And then like, he's like, well, we gotta do something. So he's like, okay, we're gonna sail up to Scotland. And there's this Earl, you know, like some high ranking aristocrat. And Earl, we're gonna go kidnap him and then trade him for a bunch of American sailors. They show up to his house, he's not there. So all of his sailors, like the marines are the only ones that have his back. Like the marines are like, no, you're not touching the captain, the sailors are like, they're ready to launch mutiny and be pirates the entire time. And so the Earl's not there, and they're like, like, let's start sexually assaulting people and stealing everything. And he's like, no, no, we're not actually pirates.

[Nick]

That is. That is not what I said.

[Eli]

Why are you wearing the rape hat?

[Cody]

What's that sword? You guys can't recall?

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, no.

[Nick]

I don't know. It doesn't have a name yet.

[Cody]

She's doing.

[Nick]

I wonder what they'll call it after this week.

[Eli]

Just doing some pillaging.

[Cody]

So he's, like, stuck in this situation where, like, the Marine's got his back, but his crew wants to do this. And he's like, all right, just it. We're going to go steal their silver set. And he, like, goes and he steals this Earl's, like, silver set, which is, like, you know, big deal, whatever, I guess. So he steals this Earl's silver set, and then he, like, immediately starts writing the Earl's wife and is like, madame, I'm so sorry, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, I'm gonna. I'll. I'll personally buy it at auction and return it to you. I'm very literally trying to this chick. And I know he's trying to her because he makes copies of the letter and forwards copies to Ben Franklin, which is like the ultimate womanizer of the founding fathers.

[Nick]

It's like, hey, bro, check this out.

[Cody]

Literally the 1700s equivalent of sending screenshots of spinning game.

[Eli]

She opens up that last letter.

[Nick]

It's a dick drawn. It's like a Thanksgiving turkey hand.

[Eli]

It's just on there.

[Brandon Herrera]

What's. What's that sword called again?

[Eli]

Or he dipped it in ink and just smashed it on the paper, kind.

[Nick]

Of like I do on all my NFA forms. You want my thumbprint?

[Brandon Herrera]

All right, it's right thumbprints.

[Eli]

Old, always weird.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's the bottom thumb, bottom thumb, bottom thumb.

[Eli]

I hate that girl. I'm going give you that bottom thumb.

[Nick]

Give him the grand thumb.

[Brandon Herrera]

Put my bottom thumb in your front butt. Also, my Marines have the. What's that sword called?

[Eli]

Oh.

[Brandon Herrera]

Story time with Uncle Nick. I can't wait for John to come hang out with you this summer.

[Eli]

God, he's gonna have so much knowledge.

[Brandon Herrera]

All right, John, I know you're going to bed. I need to tell your story. First.

[Nick]

We'Re gonna talk about the rapier. John's just like. Rapier than who?

[Cody]

John's gonna come. That guy is literally insane. Just so we're all clear what ended up happening.

[Eli]

So he wrote her, wrote to Benjamin Franklin like yo, about to smash.

[Brandon Herrera]

She seated.

[Cody]

Yeah, legit. So he ends up like, it's like 10 years later. He ends up getting the plate back to her. But how to. So that goes on and the whole time he's like out there literally just kicking ass. Like the dude's a one man army with his ship and he ends up getting dicked around because the British military like to be an officer. It wasn't like about ability. It was like you're from the right family, you know what I mean? And the Americans started copying the same mentality.

[Nick]

So buy commissions.

[Cody]

So he's, he was getting out of every promotion possible, even though he's the only one that's actually good at. And then after, after the Revolutionary War is over, they're like, he's still getting dicked out of these promotions. And they're the Russian queen princess, whatever the. You want to call her Catherine. I think it was she.

[Nick]

Catherine the Great.

[Cody]

She has a war going on with the Ottoman Empire and she's hiring naval officers from anybody that has experienced Navy. So he ends up basically getting the okay from Thomas Jefferson to go over and be a naval officer for Catherine the Great fighting the Ottomans. And when he gets over there and guess what other country is sending over a bunch of officers? The British. And the British hate him because he.

[Brandon Herrera]

Killed a lot of them.

[Eli]

He made him look stupid.

[Cody]

So they end up like staging this whole thing where he allegedly, you know, assaulted a 12 year old girl. Which almost every historian is like the, this is completely fabricated just to get him kicked out. So he ends up getting basically ostracized because of that. Moves back to Paris, lives there the rest of his life, passes away and he's like in some unmarked grave forever. And then Teddy Roosevelt becomes president and gets a hold of the French and the French really like him and the French end up finding his grave and they exhume him and they bring him back to America and now he's got a tomb at Annapolis. The father of the U.S. navy.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. And he started off being a pirate dude. He's got messing up everyone in unconventional warfare, privateering is.

[Cody]

When he pulled up to the USS Serapis, they were just hammering his ship and they basically asked him if he was ready to surrender. And he responded, I've not yet begun to fight. And then sends the marines in and makes them surrender, captures their whole ship. It's awesome.

[Eli]

It's such a wild time in how war, communication, everything work. Because you're just going based off of what your boss has said that they.

[Cody]

Said, I got a butter from a pigeon.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Eli]

And then you're like, we're getting on the thing and we're gonna go on that boat, kill everyone, and then take it. And then we'll go get drunk afterwards. We'll go grab bar. Like, imagine showing up to unsub is like, okay, we gotta rob some silverware. Nick's like, I want to grape some people. I'm like, well, hold on.

[Nick]

Yeah, yeah, Nick, let the guys go.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, imagine like, selling down to Florida and telling all the rednecks with boats, take your guns and take as many of their ships as you can. And, you know, they're all like, hell, yeah, wild.

[Nick]

Which is funny because, like, that. That's what drives me crazy when you have people like.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like.

[Nick]

Like Biden like that. Just like, listen, Jack, the kids touch my arm hair or my leg hair in the pool like that. He's like, the. The. The.

[Cody]

You.

[Nick]

You've never. You. You can't own a cannon. Like, you have. In no point in American history have you ever not been able to own a cannon for one that's just absolutely a fabrication. You've always been, I own a cannon. There are less regulations on buying a cannon than a Glock.

[Eli]

You can just. Can you just build a cannon?

[Nick]

You can buy one. You can buy one over, like, if you can afford a canon, you. You can buy a cannon.

[Eli]

A tally ho, lads, just over a counter. Are we doing this?

[Nick]

There is no background check, nothing. Because it's a black powder. It's not fire.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's like that green text.

[Nick]

Yeah. Tally ho.

[Brandon Herrera]

Tally ho, lads.

[Nick]

But on top of that, there are serious. There are periods in American history where the American government at the time just says, we don't have enough guns. Hey, if any of you citizens have a ship that has cannons on it, we could really use it about now if you want to go kill some people.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, it's legal now. You can do these things.

[Nick]

As long as they've got that flag, you can go them up.

[Cody]

The funny part is, like, just the British perspective of what that had to be like that the colonies were launching raids on mainland England. It'd literally be the equivalent of, like, if in 2012, the Taliban rolled up to Manhattan with a battleship. Is happening right now.

[Nick]

The UNO reverse card.

[Cody]

There's our navy.

[Eli]

It'll be wild.

[Cody]

You're out there, you're like, what the.

[Eli]

Is going on right now?

[Brandon Herrera]

Even if it's a citizen, that'd be the perfect place to raid because they don't have guns. Hey, you just showing up, you would have Harlem fighting back with their illegal gun.

[Cody]

I've had this skit.

[Nick]

No one wants to occupy Harlem.

[Cody]

I've had a skit in my head forever. Ever since I watched the remake of Red Dawn.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Cody]

And I was like, if you. We could make like a hot shot, like a Charlie Sheen's hot shot, like scary movie parody of Red Dawn. It would be so funny to have like the Chinese invade mainland America. And just like, I just want the scene where they're recording the Chinese talking and the Chinese are like, okay, sir, that last section of the country is pretty rough. But the section we're coming up on now has very strict gun laws. Nobody's allowed to own guns. We think it should be a really easy to take over this city. Okay, what's the city? Chicago. It just didn't just hard cut to them getting lit up by drive bys from impalas and like chocago shy rack.

[Nick]

I just want to see a part of that movie that's just our crew up a bunch of Chinese special forces in just guerrilla combat. It's just us. Like, I swear to God, I've killed that guy like three times today.

[Cody]

The government doesn't want you to know this, but you just take their nods after you kill them.

[Eli]

Was it Chinese in the new Red Dawn? Yeah.

[Nick]

Well, so it was supposed to be Chinese. And then all of the. The financiers for the movie made them airbrush out all the Chinese flags and turn it into North Korea because China was financing part of it, which also.

[Eli]

North Korea having them.

[Nick]

They don't even have the ability to feed their people.

[Eli]

Yeah. Flying here is a big.

[Cody]

Oh, no.

[Brandon Herrera]

We have a friend here.

[Nick]

We have a Quinn.

[Brandon Herrera]

Hello, Quinn.

[Eli]

Hello. You're gonna be on later. Beautiful.

[Brandon Herrera]

Do you want to come say hey real quick? Oh, my gosh.

[Cody]

Wave.

[Eli]

Go wave.

[Cody]

Look at this.

[Eli]

There, right in the middle.

[Nick]

Hi, everyone. Hello. Hello.

[Eli]

For the future of what's gonna come, or depending on how these we're gonna.

[Cody]

Ethan's gonna come.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Nick]

That's 100.

[Brandon Herrera]

Everyone's coming.

[Nick]

Don't come. Don't come.

[Cody]

I'm gonna come.

[Nick]

I'm gonna come.

[Eli]

Chicago, Beautiful. I'm excited for.

[Brandon Herrera]

We're just talking about if you drop Chinese paratroopers into like the Appalachian mountains or, you know, Texas or somewhere like that, how.

[Cody]

Well, who would win a company of Chinese paratroopers or a high school trap shooting team.

[Nick]

Just have to convince the south not to eat them.

[Eli]

I did.

[Cody]

I said that in a bit. I was like, if somebody invades mainland America, the biggest issue is going to be convincing rednecks not to have a taxidermy. The biggest ethical issue involved the taxidermist.

[Nick]

Can'T seem to get the eyes right.

[Brandon Herrera]

My favorite meme is like the 120 pound Chinese paratrooper versus 250 pound corn fed bubba in the mountains.

[Cody]

I love the one where, hey wait.

[Nick]

I've seen this one.

[Cody]

Somebody, somebody had a video of 30:06 and they're like, just so we're clear, the average Japanese soldier weighed 116 pounds and you were running around in the jungle with a gun rated for elk shooting.

[Nick]

Yep.

[Eli]

I never thought about the taxidermy thing and how realistic of the situation that would become if someone invaded.

[Nick]

Well, I know we've talked about.

[Cody]

Fighting.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like it would be like fighting in the Pacific islands where they're taking fucking skulls.

[Nick]

I was just gonna say that in.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like teeth on necklaces.

[Cody]

And we brought that up when I talked about the 77th. Do you know how many fucking emails I got from people that are like, hey, my family has one of those skulls. What are we supposed to do with it?

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, can I buy one?

[Cody]

Not tell anybody. I don't know.

[Nick]

Is it, is there a law against that?

[Eli]

Human remains. There's a weird law with.

[Nick]

Because I.

[Brandon Herrera]

You can't take new human remains if I remember correctly. But if it's a like historical piece. Yeah, there's some gray.

[Nick]

Literally your grandfather brought it.

[Brandon Herrera]

Please forward those emails to me. I kind of want one. I would love to have.

[Eli]

Yeah, we really want an unsubscribe up there real quick.

[Nick]

Also we would have to like put it in a. No, like the, the painted like Japanese skulls that like war trophy shit. We'd have to put that like a case. Yeah.

[Cody]

I also got an email that somebody got kicked out of a store in Japan for wearing my it's never a war crime the first time shirt. And I was like, yeah, I can see how that would be confusing to wear in Japan.

[Nick]

Well, it wasn't a war crime the second time either.

[Brandon Herrera]

Jesus, dude. And we've been talking about going to Japan for a while now. But Eli, you said tattoos are going to be a problem for us over there.

[Eli]

Yeah, dude. It will be super interesting with this group when we go to Japan because it is like the tram system or the subway system, you take that everywhere and then everyone's super quiet. So it's like being respectful of the cultures, not eating and walking. So you're it would be the, this weird in between between us and then $90 or $20 for 90 minutes, all you can drink. So I'm like oh and the guys get super wrecked and then we're going to try to keep rules in place.

[Brandon Herrera]

You know we would be respectful to their culture.

[Eli]

Exactly.

[Cody]

I have a hookup so we can go eat with sumo wrestlers. See like which like nobody gets to do by the way.

[Nick]

How did you see the Shane Gillis thing with that the other day? Shane Gillis was the like guest referee or announcer thing for an actual like sumo match. And it was the funniest.

[Eli]

He has probably no idea and he's just calling it out.

[Nick]

No, and he will know. He like was asked like hey, how do I say this? Oh yeah, I don't know how to say that. Like just like trying like trying his best. Have you like, they're like Shane, how does it smell down there? He's like, don't do that. Don't disrespect these athletes.

[Cody]

Have you seen the video? It's like it's not even a. I mean it's a big dude obviously but it's not like like you think sumo wrestler, you're thinking like 400 plus pound dude this. So it was like dude was probably like 260, 300. He's a big boy. But they had like the best D end or D tackle in the NFL. One of them. Oh yeah, in the suit and he like full on like 3 foot gap football stance comes up full like foot fire trying to move this dude. And this dude is just planted in the ground holding him laughing while this dude is just giving everything he can to try to move this dude doesn't move a inch.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh those dudes are monsters, man.

[Cody]

Crazy.

[Brandon Herrera]

Their thighs are that bigger.

[Eli]

I would love to go watch one of those.

[Cody]

Calvin went, he was, he just got back from Japan. Calvin my. The dude that works for me, the other coach at my jiu jitsu gym. And we have a student that grew up in Japan and his uncle was a teacher forever and I guess his uncle's student grew up to be the head monk of one of the temple for like one of the biggest sumo teams because all the sumo they have monks, Buddhist monks. So all the, that's where that all the sumo wrestlers.

[Nick]

I didn't know those things were big boat.

[Eli]

Little boat. You still have monks, Buddhist monks. So you're. That's where you get the orange garbage. Chinese culture, I think Japan is little boat ideology of Buddhism. So they just have different mindsets on how Buddhism or like.

[Nick]

Or I thought Japan was more like Taoist.

[Eli]

They have a mixture. So any of the. You have Taoism or is it Taoism? Something else they might be now back in the day was Buddha Buddhism. Christianity started digging in.

[Nick]

I've got a very like mile of this. I don't really like know the details of the culture.

[Eli]

And then they ripped out Christianity. I think Nobunaga. I forget which dude ran and he's like, no, get rid of this. We'll just go Buddhism. And then the other one is.

[Cody]

No, I need it anyways. Basically all the sumo wrestlers, like they're not like professional athletes that make a bunch of money. They're literally like, they go to a Buddhist temple. I guess this is what he told me. I haven't checked this, but like his understanding was basically they show up to a Buddhist temple, like, I want to be a sumo wrestler. And the Buddhist temple takes them in. And they don't get paid, they don't get anything. They just get to eat and sleep and train for free. And they just do that their whole lives. So he got to go stay in this Buddhist temple with the, the, the sumo team. And he's like, Calvin is like 155 pounds. Like he's not a big dude. And he's like, they were like scared of me. They live in a Buddhist temple. They ever seen a white guy covered in tattoos? And so they're just like on edge around him the whole time and he's like, dude, you're three times my size. You could just spike me off the ground and I'd be dead. But he said it was super spike.

[Nick]

You into the end zone.

[Cody]

Said they were all like super nice.

[Nick]

You said Shintoism? Yeah. Okay.

[Eli]

Yeah. Because I was like, what is it? There is another one. Shinto. Shinto belief, dude. They. Have you watched that one? I don't know where he's from. He's a white, white dude. That is Tom Cruise.

[Cody]

Last Samurai.

[Eli]

Exactly.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yes.

[Cody]

But he's a. I'm gonna watch that.

[Nick]

When I get home.

[Eli]

Smaller compared to other sumo wrestlers, but he is. Oh yeah.

[Cody]

Guy.

[Eli]

Yeah. That's almost a Yuka Yokozuna level or where he is. But this dude against like 300, 400 pound guys. You've seen him truck them like it's nothing. This dude's 220. He's a small sumo wrestler. Terrifying. He hucks these 400 pounds.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Cody]

He's like, check. I think he's crazy good.

[Eli]

If you pull, dude, just wait till.

[Nick]

The Russian Muslims get into that sport.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, right.

[Nick]

Get involved.

[Brandon Herrera]

Was it Nick? Three years, he forgets.

[Cody]

Yeah, two or three years.

[Nick]

Forget three years to dagger stance.

[Brandon Herrera]

Okay, forget.

[Eli]

We just fight now. This what we do. Cody, what do you got in the works on your stuff?

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, God. Has anyone been shot lately?

[Eli]

Yes.

[Brandon Herrera]

No. Dude, all I want to do is build businesses with Unsub and you guys and hang out with y' all.

[Eli]

You're like, I'm over video.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, well, I mean, someone gets shot, I do the video. I want to do other things. I want to hang out with my boys. I'm getting old, man. I've been doing this YouTube channel for 10 years now.

[Nick]

Don't you demo on me.

[Brandon Herrera]

I'm not demoing on you, dude. I wish I had a resort property to sell, but you know, I don't.

[Nick]

Cody's like, I don't have a resort.

[Eli]

Brandon wakes up with pink eye because that was in a hooker's butt.

[Nick]

What we did last night. Why? Why you gotta cast that evil on me?

[Eli]

You're probably right. At some point with Chris, their wedding tomorrow just like.

[Nick]

Oh, God. Now you got me overthinking about it because apparently American money is like super dirty. Yeah, well, I'm not just American money. I'm sure it's every money.

[Brandon Herrera]

We've been to Vegas before, buddy. We know how dirty it is.

[Nick]

I don't want to think about it.

[Brandon Herrera]

I don't know. I think we're all just doing our own thing and then trying to build businesses together and having a good time. We got a lot of good podcasts started lately. What? What. What are you working on? Mr. Bela?

[Nick]

Mr. Beli's got a thing we got.

[Eli]

Oh, yeah, we do. Well, I like this month's focus for us is the autism awareness and we have.

[Nick]

That wasn't the thing.

[Eli]

I know, but that's the one I like. I hate my own God.

[Brandon Herrera]

Could you stop talking about autistic people? Great thing going on this month.

[Nick]

Yes.

[Eli]

This is all. And we're doing. We're adding a special needs. Needs. A non profit once we find one. Just shopping for which ones actually do the right thing and not just blow everything on.

[Nick]

Yeah. Administrative fees and marketing and all the people. Like, we want to make sure that like I. I know at least speaking from my perspective, like, we. We try to run this like a business and make sure that like we're. We're spending this money as if it's our money. Where we want to make sure that it's the money you spend on the shirts actually Goes to a good cause. Not just saying it does, but a place that, like, the money actually goes toward what they say it does. Because most charities are full of.

[Eli]

It's terrifying.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, dude. When you look at. At the word non profit, like, and you're like, oh, they're nice. It's like, okay, non profit.

[Cody]

The NFL is a non profit.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. Just throwing that out there.

[Nick]

The entity doesn't make a profit, but everyone on the board of directors.

[Cody]

Million plus dollars a year. Yeah.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Nick]

All on donated money.

[Brandon Herrera]

So if you guys do, like, help us out, like, buy shirts, help with the autism community. We're. We shop around. We find the best charities to put that forward, too.

[Cody]

We're going to raise so much money that we're going to find out everything about autism that we could find out, and then nobody's going to like us anymore.

[Brandon Herrera]

Rich, could you come tell us what you think about autism real quick? Oh, look, a new person.

[Eli]

Rich uses kill.

[Cody]

Just what this podcast needed. Another hairy white guy in a tank top walk into the club.

[Brandon Herrera]

I want to show you that you're.

[Cody]

Not the only one that can pull this off. I've been outside.

[Eli]

Autism is my favorite type of. Because Eli has been able. What? Oh, they're supposed to be my least favorite. You guys aren't fair. Also, how does that little. Make the action figures work? Show. Did you just type in? What do you ask It.

[Brandon Herrera]

It.

[Nick]

If you say a specific person or do you have to describe the person?

[Eli]

Yeah, you have to describe.

[Nick]

Okay, got it. Because, like, for me, it was like, man, that's actually alarmingly close. It just whitewashed me.

[Brandon Herrera]

I know.

[Eli]

Did you put.

[Nick]

I just look like a white guy named Daniel?

[Eli]

What's he dressed like? Like Cody. It's like, why he's dressed like. Like Brandon.

[Brandon Herrera]

All right, Jamie, pull that up right now. Show him the thing those.

[Eli]

I was actually cracking up. Yours. Horse is great.

[Cody]

My.

[Brandon Herrera]

You're a gorilla.

[Eli]

You're.

[Brandon Herrera]

You look like a Minecraft character.

[Cody]

It's a refrigerator with arms. Yeah, Corn.

[Eli]

And then corn.

[Cody]

Corn.

[Brandon Herrera]

Bush. Life.

[Cody]

A rubber duck.

[Eli]

I was like, oh, this is great. And I hate communism. Super big.

[Nick]

That last. That one of the last podcasts that went up, they're like, damn, Cody's hammered. You can tell because he's talking on his own podcast.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's the cocaine.

[Nick]

No, you could. I. I would be terrified to see you on cocaine. Actually.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's the one drug I've never done before.

[Nick]

I think there's multiple.

[Eli]

I was like, there's probably multiple.

[Nick]

There's lots of drugs. I'm sure you've never done crocodile.

[Cody]

Crocodile?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, dude, I want my skin to rot in my body.

[Nick]

That's some. Only the Russians. Russians could have come up with crocodile.

[Cody]

What if we made a liquid version of the gulag that you could just inject into your veins?

[Eli]

Make with red match head.

[Brandon Herrera]

Are you. What was the Russian dude with the big arms? He was injecting what into his arms?

[Nick]

It was just oil.

[Cody]

It's some kind. It's just some oil that's inside the muscle fascia.

[Brandon Herrera]

And he became like a quasi celebrity over there because his arms were so big. Syntholic. Yes. It's because he was injecting nasty into him that.

[Eli]

Well, that's another one. Oh, there's the kid you're talking about.

[Nick]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eli]

And dude, he looks.

[Nick]

He looks like the dude from Umbrella Academy.

[Eli]

Yep.

[Nick]

Giant, the big arms.

[Eli]

Did you see his MMA fight?

[Brandon Herrera]

He did an MMA fight.

[Eli]

Oh, yeah?

[Nick]

Let me guess.

[Brandon Herrera]

How'd that go?

[Nick]

He can't fight.

[Eli]

Weird synth. I'm not working out. Doesn't equate to fighting, period. He got his ass beat. Any of those dudes just gonna get.

[Brandon Herrera]

Dude, if I was his opponent, I would just punch him in his arms.

[Cody]

Goes into toxic shots.

[Eli]

Go like that. And they're like. I think that's good.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, yeah, there's the Indian guy, too.

[Nick]

Oh, that looks like a chat. GPT thing of someone who. Like a computer that doesn't understand what a person looks like.

[Eli]

Like.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. When I grow up, I want to be a cloud. Mom. Gross.

[Eli]

I don't. I don't want to put in the work, but I want to look a certain way. That's wild.

[Nick]

That was a bizarre catch.

[Brandon Herrera]

I'm sure he gets all the.

[Eli]

Yeah, I'm sure he's playing it. Then we have. What else is in the. Oh, we got. Let's say hi to Eli. Got that finally launched. And y' all beautiful souls. I still have to do your interview, and yours is after Cody's. Cody. Cody's is. Yours was great, too. I love you.

[Nick]

Almost made me cry on yours.

[Eli]

What'd he say? What does he say? Give me a second.

[Nick]

No, is that. Please hold.

[Eli]

Yep.

[Nick]

Because I never see Nick show emotion, ever. And so that I was like, oh, damn, that. Actually, that means a lot coming from.

[Brandon Herrera]

Nick the coordinating gorilla. Showed emotion.

[Cody]

No, it's a lie. Never happened.

[Brandon Herrera]

I say that as I throw my son to you for several weeks this summer.

[Nick]

Fine.

[Cody]

It's gonna do great.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like John, you know what your dad said to me? Just slap it.

[Cody]

I'm gonna show him my drop down and draw your gun technique so we can use it on Rich when Rich attacks him with a knife.

[Eli]

Lay on your back. They probably have no idea what we're talking about on that one.

[Nick]

I have no clue. He's a cop. Look as white as possible.

[Eli]

Skin change.

[Nick]

What the are you guys talking about?

[Eli]

Knife. Go.

[Cody]

Me and Pewview did a video about the 21 foot rule with the knife. And I was like, I bet I could. I bet I could get shots off in 10ft. And I did. And what I did is, okay, go. I just immediately dropped on my back. And once I was on my back, I had my feet in between me and the guy with the knife. I drew my gun and shot off my back like 10 rounds and just mag dump the guy. And some people on the Internet think it would work, and some people think that I'm an idiot.

[Eli]

Yeah, so.

[Brandon Herrera]

What? Rich doesn't think it would work.

[Cody]

Rich doesn't think it would work. He said I should run away in a zigzag formation yelling serpentine while I try to draw my gun as he's holding bad.

[Eli]

That was the best argument.

[Cody]

I was like the one comment that annoyed me on that short because the short went like, not super viral. But the short got thousands of comments when we were talking about it. And somebody was like, wow, I can't believe the fat electrician is trying to argue combatives with Rich, a trained cop that probably has way more experience than him. And I was like, rich. Well, maybe, but like, I don't think that most people have a grasp on how little combatives training the average law enforcement officer gets.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like, female cops just period.

[Cody]

Like.

[Brandon Herrera]

It'S like, ah, what do I call her?

[Nick]

It starts with a B. Trash. You were just waiting to say that the. How much combatives training do. Does the average cop do? Cody, did.

[Cody]

Did you see the.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's trash, dude. It's so bad.

[Cody]

Shrimp, did you see the. The video that just came out recently of the three British women cops trying to arrest a man? And he's just like, no.

[Brandon Herrera]

He just said no.

[Cody]

Literally just basically just said no.

[Brandon Herrera]

Let me stay calm.

[Nick]

The whole time he's just standing up.

[Brandon Herrera]

And they can't do it.

[Cody]

They're like to trying. Trying to pull him to the ground and he's. It literally looked like my 2 year old, my 4 year old, like, hanging on my legs, like, you're playing with your kids. Yeah, that's what it looked like. It was not good. It wasn't good at all.

[Nick]

Some of those Videos from like the uk, like blow my mind where people.

[Cody]

Are getting arrested for social media posts and.

[Nick]

Well, those two. But like, I just. The, the. A, it's like a little bit of normalcy bias, but B, just like the people who are incapable of performing violence of any kind of mind. There was a video I was watching, it was like somebody getting like stabbed. Like it was an older lady, I think, getting. Being stabbed on the ground. There's a guy on top of her just stabbing the out of her. And there's like eight dudes around her, like, oh, and one dude eventually picks up like this light tin trash can and like throws it at the guy, does absolutely nothing. And he's just sitting there like going to town. And none of these quote unquote men can do jack shit about Jesus.

[Brandon Herrera]

You got a license for that knife?

[Nick]

I, I don't think he's got a license. You got a stabbing license?

[Brandon Herrera]

They have to call the cops with the guns too, in that situation. Yeah.

[Eli]

Because the majority don't carry guns.

[Cody]

No, can't.

[Eli]

Wait. The police can't. Unless you're like, yeah, the cops there.

[Brandon Herrera]

Are certified officers with firearms. Yeah, you have to call the cops with guns to come help you in situations.

[Nick]

So what would you say with a.

[Cody]

Gun is like SWAT to them and.

[Nick]

And straight up in Ireland, would you say that. What would you say the ratio is of cops who carry guns versus cops who don't?

[Eli]

I mean, the only cops who carry guns are like special task forces.

[Brandon Herrera]

You got to call them. It's just like, it's like in the U.S. if you call a SWAT team in, like Brandon was saying, you got to call the cops with guns in.

[Eli]

I wish that happened in America just to see how bad it would get. You're showing up with no guns. Like, fuck, dude, it's like, oh, this is why they carry firearms. Got it.

[Nick]

How did a third of the planet.

[Brandon Herrera]

Get conquered by those fucking people?

[Nick]

Well, that was back before most of the planet had access to gunpowder. Turns out us.

[Cody]

Took over a third of the planet to get spices. Didn't put any of them on your food. What the fuck is going on?

[Nick]

Turns out that starving yourself in protest doesn't stop a musket.

[Brandon Herrera]

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think a lot of people over there, even if they have knives, like a chef has a chef blade, an 8 inch blade, you gotta like register it and go through a whole process just to have like.

[Cody]

I don't know if there's a.

[Eli]

Like, did you see the legal knives that they created with the.

[Nick]

The block on the end.

[Eli]

Yeah, I think you were telling me round tip knives. Have you seen those?

[Cody]

No.

[Eli]

So you can't stab. Still cut, but no stabbies. There's a whole thing still stabbies.

[Brandon Herrera]

No stabbies.

[Cody]

It's like I hate everything round.

[Eli]

Square knife. Square British.

[Nick]

Give me a honing stone and a screwdriver like this.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, it's like California with their, like not being able to put your thumb behind the. The pistol. You know, just read that.

[Cody]

I. I could stab somebody with that. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

I could stop like. Like he was sharp too.

[Eli]

You know, just rub it against a.

[Brandon Herrera]

Rock for a minute. You can stab someone with it.

[Eli]

That's what's wild is get them.

[Nick]

Are they allowed to own lawnmower blades?

[Eli]

Well, there's like a machete. They have those weird, weird ass rules.

[Cody]

The zombie knife rule, which is hilarious.

[Eli]

What are their knife rules? I've actually never looked at brain.

[Cody]

Our.

[Nick]

Our British following what little we have is having an aneurysm right now. Most of you guys probably agree with us.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. Yeah. If you're over in that part of the world, let us know about the laws over there in the comments. We would really be interested in this.

[Nick]

Also. We're sorry.

[Cody]

This is a German SWAT wearing. Oh yeah.

[Nick]

I think we were talking about that the other day.

[Cody]

German SWAT wearing chain mail. Because that's what they run into.

[Eli]

Hey, the last time I'd be so pissed.

[Brandon Herrera]

We're going back in time.

[Nick]

The last time people. People in Europe were wearing chain mail. Who were they fighting again? Are those people in Germany right now?

[Eli]

Don't look at me. Look that way.

[Cody]

Is that a Jerusalem crossing?

[Eli]

They have?

[Brandon Herrera]

God wills it.

[Cody]

Dude. Sorry.

[Eli]

Wearing a plate carrier while wearing chain mail. I would be pissed.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's hot as.

[Eli]

Yeah. Also they have a. An unlocking folding knife with a blade up to 3 inches can be carried without valid reason. However, anything else? Flick knife, butter knife, kitchen knife.

[Nick]

Some would say that 3 inches is.

[Eli]

Too much or just enough.

[Cody]

The big knife. Huge.

[Brandon Herrera]

What is it? At least we don't have school shootings every day.

[Nick]

Well, at least our schools ain't shooting. Gary.

[Brandon Herrera]

Sorry, I'm just reading chainmail.

[Cody]

That's where I go. That's your tweet.

[Nick]

At least my wife didn't get attacked for. With acid for showing her ankles.

[Eli]

Jesus Christ. I love my group of friends. Oh, when are we gonna watch Lord of the Rings?

[Cody]

Are we gonna rent out a theater to do it?

[Nick]

I think we should.

[Brandon Herrera]

We're doing the whole marathon.

[Eli]

100.

[Brandon Herrera]

Everyone okay? 12 hours long.

[Nick]

We're just gonna commit to the bill.

[Cody]

Oh yeah, let's. They got a bar in that movie theater. What. What are we worried about?

[Brandon Herrera]

I'm down.

[Cody]

Think I want doordash food there. Let's go.

[Brandon Herrera]

Is this an us thing or are we inviting people out to come with us?

[Eli]

I have no idea. Idea. It would be recorded. It's also. I have no idea.

[Nick]

The gang does and then whoever we feel like inviting.

[Eli]

Yes.

[Brandon Herrera]

Okay. Well, that one scene where he kicks the helmet. I don't know if you guys.

[Nick]

The vein popping out.

[Eli]

You gotta remember that part.

[Cody]

Was it. Were you here when I talked about who they wanted to play Aragon?

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Cody]

Okay.

[Nick]

Yeah. I think that was our last gang.

[Cody]

Okay.

[Brandon Herrera]

They tried to replace Viggo Mortensen.

[Cody]

No, the. The first pick. Russell Crowe.

[Nick]

No.

[Cody]

Yeah, they wanted Russell Crowe to do it. They offered him like 10 of the money of the franchise and he turned it down. And he's like, that was a mistake.

[Nick]

Because it was like the Alec Guinness thing.

[Eli]

Yep.

[Nick]

Where like to play Obi Wan. They would have given him like something very similar. Like all the like. Like some. Some percentage of the merch rights of Star wars.

[Eli]

Just like. And then you had. Was that Matt Damon for.

[Nick]

Avatar.

[Eli]

Avatar. And that James Cameron was like, I'll give you. I think it was 10 owner 5% or 10% of all gross if you just play the part. And James Cameron also said he's like, I don't need you, by the way. This is going to be massive with or without you. But. But I would like you to be involved as the main. So I'll give you that. And he couldn't because he was filming Bourne. The Bourne series and they were doing reshoots. He's like, I'm sorry, I cannot. So he's like, I'm probably the person who lost the most money, period.

[Brandon Herrera]

All of the Avatars guess Avatar GROSS Right now.

[Eli]

$6.5 billion, right. No, 4, 3.8 or $4.2 billion globally.

[Nick]

So the first you just gave like five numbers.

[Brandon Herrera]

Sorry. 4.2, 4.2. The first one was 2.9 billion. Just for the first one.

[Eli]

Uh huh.

[Brandon Herrera]

I don't know the second one. I just looked up the first one, but God damn. He turned that down.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Cody]

He is born.

[Eli]

Imagine it now in a 10% or 5. Any percent of that. That's what he would have made. And it was all the ip. It was the entire ip.

[Nick]

That's before he would have had enough money to fly to Epstein Island. As much as he wanted so fine.

[Eli]

All the money in the world, just.

[Nick]

That's where we draw the line. Really Making fun of actors.

[Eli]

Nope.

[Cody]

I'm good with it. Continue.

[Nick]

I'm good about it.

[Eli]

I think. On that note, we can close her out.

[Brandon Herrera]

Are we gonna do the thing?

[Eli]

We didn't do that.

[Brandon Herrera]

All right, guys, thank you for joining the unscribed podcast today. I was joined by Eli Double Tap, fat electrician, Brandon Herrera, myself, donut operator. We love.