Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 231
Klarna Is Ruining Lives & The Army Is BACK!
Date: September 23, 2025
Hosts: Eli Doubletap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator, The Fat Electrician (Nick), Rich High
Episode Overview
This episode of Unsubscribe Podcast brings together the usual crew for a raucous deep dive into the return of “old-school” Army training, a deep roast of buy-now-pay-later services (Klarna) and the fallout from Brandon’s recent campaign shenanigans. The growth of their live shows, reflections on internet drama, and hilarious stories about military and life mishaps thread through a characteristically unfiltered, digressive hangout.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Podcast Opener & Community Check-in
- Eli thanks listeners for their support during his recent depression:
“I just want to...truly, truly, truly want to say thank you for that. Even during those lows and pushing through it...I just got to see y'all being amazing.” (01:11)
- Encourages ticket sales for expanded live shows—San Antonio is now their largest planned event.
2. The Return of “Real” Army: Shark Attacks & Basic Training Toughness
- Rich narrates how Army discipline is making a comeback under new leadership, including “shark attacks” (drill sergeant intimidation tactics) at basic training:
“Bring back shark attacks. I did a video on it...We're going to war.” (16:31)
- Discussion about Army memos banning “tossing bays” (drill sergeant barracks inspections that destroy recruits' stuff), the backlash, and quick reversal:
“What that brigade commander was doing...he's taking away the opportunity for us to give people these rites of passage.” (25:44)
- Nick: “Nothing better than the person next to you leaving their wall locker unlocked...justice.” (26:13)
3. Military Pranks and Camaraderie
- The crew shares stories of classic Army pranks, such as spamming a cadet’s phone with Craigslist dick pics:
“His phone had a seizure when he turned it back on. Miles and miles of dick got sent to that guy’s phone.” (28:42)
4. Live Show Expansion & Midwest Audience
- Rapid ticket sellouts prompt deliberations on adding second shows (Des Moines, Chicago), their Midwest drawing power, and how every show gets wilder:
“The Midwest is populated by people that look at a five hour drive and go, ‘yeah, it’s no big deal.’” —Nick, (32:27)
- Stories of alcohol-fueled VIP encounters and mishaps (“white claw raining down on the crowd”).
5. Klarna & the Burrito Bubble: Buy Now, Pay Later Mayhem
- Nick launches into how buy-now-pay-later services like Klarna are “ruining lives” and could trigger an economic crash akin to 2008, but for “burritos”:
“The burrito bubble is about to pop. Klarna is like $170 million in the red because nobody’s paying shit back.” (43:35)
- The group riffs on the absurdity of financing fast food:
“If you want to finance a burrito, that’s the biggest red flag you could possibly have.” —Brandon, (44:25)
- Nick explains it doesn’t help credit and eventually lands in collections, tanking people’s scores over trivial amounts.
6. Debate Fallout: Rich vs. Michael Malice
- Detailed backstage and onstage breakdowns of Rich’s debate with Michael Malice—described as awkward, unproductive, and lopsided:
“I let my faces do the talking for me...nothing like somebody going ‘I think this point’ and you doing a total, like, stink face.” —Rich, (73:25)
- Michael Malice’s combative and dismissive approach, odd personal jabs, and refusal to shake hands after.
- Audience and crew reactions: disappointment, amusement, and a sense Malice “shellacked himself.”
7. Military History, Books, and Upcoming Topics
- Nick and Brandon discuss gritty WWII memoirs and the author’s unfiltered, self-published style (“I’m genuinely not sure there’s a single page without something that would be considered a slur.” —Brandon, 82:39).
- Plan for upcoming videos:
- Nick working on Klarna and a “Sergeant Stubby” story (famous war dog)
- Potential interviews with major war heroes (Major Capers, Sammy Lee Davis from the real-life Forrest Gump Medal of Honor story).
8. Nerd Corner: Machine Guns & Tech
- Technical chat about historic machine guns, headspacing, water-cooling, and legendary American firearms inventors like John Browning:
“So much stuff in modern firearm technology is because of that one person.” —Brandon, (103:41)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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Rich on Army Investigations:
“My first words out of my mouth to my battalion commander: ‘Fuck, what did I do now?’” (15:13)
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Eli on military rites of passage:
“You’re taking away the opportunity for us to give people these rites of passage.” (25:44)
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Nick on Klarna:
“Having a private chauffeur for your Chipotle is a necessity.” (47:13)
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Brandon on debating Malice:
“My favorite part was the cutaways back to you because you look like the girl from that Chick-fil-A meme.” (51:44)
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Rich on killing with kindness:
“I know when people really hate me. Like, I know.” (72:06)
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Brandon reflecting on wartime weapons:
“You don’t need the 500, 600 yard capability of .30-06...you’re fighting dudes that weigh 90 pounds.” (84:44)
Important Timestamps
- 01:11 – Eli opens up about depression, thanks listeners
- 15:00–28:00 – Rich’s Army “trouble” story, changes in basic training, “shark attacks” return
- 32:00–34:00 – Midwest live shows selling out, touring logistics
- 43:00–47:30 – Klarna and buy-now-pay-later comedy/rant
- 51:44–73:25 – Rich’s behind-the-scenes with Michael Malice debate
- 82:39–86:30 – Discussion of un-PC war memoirs, WWII history, Major James Capers, Medal of Honor stories
- 96:00+ – Machine gun history, mechanical nerding out over Lewis gun, Browning, headspace
- 108:31 – Closeout by Brandon (“I’ll be Cody for today…”)
Tone & Style
The episode is loose, vulgar, and full of dark humor, sidebars, and bits only this group could pull off. There’s military nostalgia, classic internet edge, and genuine affection for each other and their fans. The crew riff on social absurdities, military stupidity, and the economics of fast food finance—all with thick sarcasm, inside jokes, and tangential storytelling.
Takeaways
- “Old Army” is making a comeback in response to overcorrection/political pressure in training standards.
- The buy-now-pay-later phenomenon is reaching absurd, dangerous new lows and threatens the economy in “dumber” ways than the 2008 crash.
- The team’s live shows continue to grow thanks to a passionate audience, especially in the Midwest.
- The fallout and inside scoop from Rich’s debate with Michael Malice provides both cringe and lessons on debating with ideologues.
- The pod continues to combine military culture, current events, internet drama, and ridiculous antics for highly engaged fans.
For next time: If you’re interested in the Klarna financial mess, stay tuned for Nick’s Fat Files episode diving even deeper. If you want more salty Army tales or live show debauchery, check Unsubcrew.com for tour tickets—if they’re not already sold out.
