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Donut Operator
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates for multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance and affiliates not available in all states and situations. Prices may vary on how you buy. I have never wanted anything more than I want this right now. And I'm married with children.
Brandon Herrera
My dad is circum £100 on a compound, bro.
Donut Operator
Yeah, your poor wife.
Eli Double Tap
I didn't have have Unsub gets into mandingo fighting on my bingo card.
Fat Electrician
Your dad asked the waiter if he could start whistling in English. Say hi to Eli.
Donut Operator
He's racially ambiguous.
Administrative Results
Brandon. His hair is fabulous.
Fat Electrician
Donut. A dog joke disposition. And there's a fat electrician.
Administrative Results
Welcome to unsubscribe.
Brandon Herrera
On the count of three. Three, two, one.
Eli Double Tap
Loose.
Donut Operator
Loose. I like that. Well done. Didn't say fire, he said loose. That's commitment to authenticity right there.
Eli Double Tap
All right, well, I get to do donuts shop today. You do? Hell, yeah.
Fat Electrician
Usually this gets to do donut.
Eli Double Tap
Jesus.
Brandon Herrera
You're starting with violence.
Eli Double Tap
Sorry, we're two minutes into this. I get an overhand right from the tc.
Donut Operator
Damn.
Fat Electrician
To be fair, I can't establish the jab now.
Eli Double Tap
Hi, everyone. Welcome to the unsubscribe podcast. I am joined today by Eli Double Tap, fat electrician Dash. Aaron. Is your name Aaron?
Administrative Results
Oh, my God. I forgot my slave name.
Eli Double Tap
Administrative results and myself, donut operator.
Brandon Herrera
What up, you beautiful bitches?
Donut Operator
Hi.
Brandon Herrera
Welcome. You have majestic hair.
Donut Operator
Thank you. Thank you.
Brandon Herrera
Doing my research is like. We'll see how he does on this podcast.
Administrative Results
First, if I may, I like to introduce Dash as the COVID art from the romantic smut that your wives and girlfriends read.
Donut Operator
It's not too far off, I feel.
Brandon Herrera
That is amazing.
Administrative Results
I was like, why does this dude look like he'd be on the COVID of a romance novel?
Donut Operator
Chat.
Administrative Results
Is it gay to recognize the prowess of another man's.
Eli Double Tap
I feel like he's just the Pokemon evolution of me.
Fat Electrician
All of a sudden.
Brandon Herrera
I fed him the lightning stone.
Fat Electrician
Him being a successful realtor is making more and more sense.
Donut Operator
Yeah. Yeah.
Administrative Results
Thanks a lot.
Fat Electrician
Here's the master bedroom. Imagine it.
Donut Operator
Imagine. Lay on it.
Brandon Herrera
Wonderful.
Eli Double Tap
Look at that giant mirror in the corner.
Donut Operator
Some flower petals.
Brandon Herrera
You do real estate?
Eli Double Tap
Yeah.
Donut Operator
YouTube is. Yeah. Just for fun. Yeah. My wife and I for a while.
Brandon Herrera
What's your female client base like? Higher percent?
Donut Operator
No. I get along with the dudes more. You know, it's just more chill. You Know, I think the long hair is, like, more relaxed for women.
Eli Double Tap
Guys, women just don't want to talk about longbows as much.
Donut Operator
No, no, no. Yeah, no, it's. Unfortunately, it's not appreciated as much because they're gay.
Administrative Results
Damn, do I feel that, dude?
Eli Double Tap
I mean, yeah, women suck dick. I mean, that's pretty gay if you ask me.
Fat Electrician
I mean, science.
Administrative Results
This doesn't work out.
Donut Operator
Did you.
Brandon Herrera
So do you guys know each other?
Administrative Results
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
How long have you guys known each other? I don't know the lore between any of this.
Administrative Results
How long do we go back?
Donut Operator
Maybe two years.
Administrative Results
We've served in the ranks together in his Majesty the King's army, fighting against the French in France, campaigning on many a campaign.
Eli Double Tap
Sir, please leave the medieval times.
Brandon Herrera
I'm sorry, did you guys LARP together?
Administrative Results
No, technically.
Donut Operator
Technically, yes. Actually, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Our first video together was like a larp. Yeah.
Administrative Results
We served in the LARP core together.
Donut Operator
Yes, yes. We did a bow versus ballistic dummy as the first one.
Administrative Results
Yeah. Everyone got mad about the quality of the armor, but damn, dude, I can't afford legit cuirasses all the time. Very expensive guys are getting on my ass about that.
Brandon Herrera
So it'd be a super autistic episode. You were saying that yesterday.
Fat Electrician
Do we really think the medieval peasants wouldn't be rocking Amazon armor if they had Amazon?
Donut Operator
That's what I'm saying.
Fat Electrician
Exactly what they would have.
Administrative Results
That was one of my points. Dude, that bought the cheap armor and watch him die.
Fat Electrician
King Henry, this guy can beat on a piece of metal with a hammer for 18 years. Or you can just give Jeff Bezos like, six grand.
Administrative Results
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Ye olde wish dot com.
Fat Electrician
Yeah.
Administrative Results
Contracting lowest bidder has been around for a while.
Fat Electrician
All right. Favorite, favorite night movie.
Donut Operator
A Knight's Tale. It was fun.
Fat Electrician
My top two for sure. It's tied for one.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
One of my notes is that the Heath Ledger one.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Donut Operator
Yeah. That was very fun. Back in the day, for sure.
Eli Double Tap
Movie that could have only come out of the early 2000s.
Donut Operator
Yeah, I think so.
Fat Electrician
So great.
Donut Operator
Just running down there with no armor, jousting like even with wood is going straight through. Medieval existed back then.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah. Medieval peasants chanting, we will rock.
Brandon Herrera
Back in the day.
Donut Operator
It holds up so well.
Brandon Herrera
It's a classic.
Fat Electrician
Oh, that or what's God. I forget the name of it every time. It's a Netflix exclusive one with Matt Damon and Adam Driver. They have a night fight.
Donut Operator
Yeah. The last duel. Yeah, yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Based off of. That's factual.
Donut Operator
Yeah, that was based off the last duel to the death, I think that was recorded last, actual death by combat.
Brandon Herrera
Also wild story because no one knows the truth.
Donut Operator
Exactly.
Eli Double Tap
Three variations.
Donut Operator
Yeah, it was. It's a trippy story for sure.
Fat Electrician
I just thought the night, like the night fight at the end was like, actually like, oh, this is a full on cage fight.
Donut Operator
Yeah, it's. Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
And opponent died. It's not like, oh, honor him.
Donut Operator
Yeah, and that's, that's the cool thing I think too, because like in doing what I'm doing, I've reached met a lot of guys that do the Buhrt, which is like the full cage contact, you know, sports, MMA of the, of the grappling with the armor and all that stuff. And there's one guy out in Germany to queen him and so he, he's given me some armor pieces to test and we've kind of gotten close back and forth. But he does unscripted night fights with different cultures. So he's got a crew that he goes with one guy. It's like a samurai and a knight. And so the weapons are dull, but they straight up brawl. And it goes into a clench within like 15 seconds every time. Right. The clench and then the takedown. It's really not fancy. It's not fancy swordsmanship. It's instant engagement takedowns.
Brandon Herrera
I don't think I've talked about that. This is the. So that's the individual that does those realistic battles. Hey, this is how this would play out actually.
Donut Operator
I think so He's a German guy.
Brandon Herrera
Yup. And then they'll do like three peasants, peasants versus a night.
Donut Operator
Yeah. Five peasants versus a knight. Yeah, that's. That's the guy.
Brandon Herrera
Brutal, because he just goes in and murders.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
All of them.
Brandon Herrera
It's like, oh, this is actually how this would play out. And that's where you see, there's no flash or anything. It's like I'm gonna just stab you in between the crease of the armor and watch you bleed out.
Donut Operator
Jesus.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, it's gnarly.
Eli Double Tap
Where does he keep finding more people to volunteer to be?
Brandon Herrera
It's super good. If you haven't watched that, that is fantastic to watch. Have you done any of that yet?
Donut Operator
No, no, I haven't. No. That's. I. That's a lot of investment for initial cost, just for the armor sets and everything. Like, I've loved. I would love to do it. I've done, you know, wrestling and grappling jiu jitsu for a long time. What do you mean? How much for all that stuff? Yeah, I mean, he sent me some stuff and just like for the gauntlets and everything. That's like 400 bucks for just the gauntlets. And that's like a cheaper part. They articulate and everything. And I'd say so.
Fat Electrician
I thought I said unsub is going to sponsor him. We're going to fight him like a Pokemon.
Donut Operator
I will do it.
Eli Double Tap
You will be.
Donut Operator
Straight up. No, I've. I've done Jiu Jitsu for a long time. Brandon.
Brandon Herrera
I choose you.
Donut Operator
You come out 100 sponsor. I'll go in the cage. Heck yes.
Fat Electrician
How long you been doing Jiu Jitsu?
Donut Operator
Like, eight, nine years.
Fat Electrician
Black belt.
Donut Operator
No, no, no. I took it. I took time off purple. I took time on, off, off, off. You know how it is.
Fat Electrician
Yeah. Older.
Donut Operator
It's like you can't really do it consistently, bro.
Fat Electrician
We're sponsoring a night.
Eli Double Tap
We're sending him to Buffalo.
Brandon Herrera
So can I have a different name?
Donut Operator
No, I hate come night.
Brandon Herrera
We' this. It's our name.
Eli Double Tap
He's right outside the Buffalo public school system headquarters and just like, bring out your champion.
Administrative Results
The night of the realm of the unsubscribe.
Fat Electrician
I can get Bunker to make the come flags for the guide dog dude.
Brandon Herrera
We will buy the nicest dude.
Donut Operator
Yeah. Get this.
Fat Electrician
Like, because the gang sponsors at night, we'll go film it.
Brandon Herrera
You think we're joking?
Donut Operator
I'm serious, too. I've never wanted anything more than I want. And I'm married with children.
Brandon Herrera
You kiss them goodbye and walk to your mansion. No, we're going realistic horseback the entire way.
Fat Electrician
Your kids are still younger, right? Yeah, they're like. How old are they?
Donut Operator
They're all like seven, six, five, bro.
Fat Electrician
Do you know how cool it would be for him, though, to like, have his kids show up and. Oh, my God. My dad's a knight and five years old.
Administrative Results
My dad is circum.
Donut Operator
Thinking the children with the name. Give me something here. I don't want him saying it at school.
Brandon Herrera
Circumstances.
Eli Double Tap
Your last name is Sijan.
Fat Electrician
Surcision.
Administrative Results
Oh, yeah. You change up the PR for the.
Donut Operator
Kids.
Brandon Herrera
You wanted to do. Actually, I think you're the one talking about it. We've done.
Fat Electrician
Because they do it out at. Out of that museum we went to, Me and Ethan, that furniture museum and like, old village thing and what's that town, right? New Braufels. Yeah, they said they do it there every year. They have a renaissance festival and they have like the night fighting because people.
Brandon Herrera
Want us to do it.
Eli Double Tap
The night fighting?
Brandon Herrera
Yeah. And we've already got, like, though we got people that Would be like, hey, we'll loan armor for that if we do the fights.
Eli Double Tap
That's kind of cool. I. I have seen a couple of those videos though where, you know, people are just using the big hammers and. Yeah. Just takes a hit to the back of the head and the armored like the helmet. Dense.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
I mean like anybody got an ibuprofen.
Fat Electrician
Back before they developed crumple zones and all the. All the impact just goes right through the metal into your body.
Eli Double Tap
You're the back of your skull is the crumple zone. Yeah.
Fat Electrician
I try to argue with old people about that. Like old cars back in the day, you could get in a fender bender and they were fine. I go, yeah, but you weren't.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
To do that.
Fat Electrician
So you don't die.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Your body explodes on the inside. That's what would happen.
Fat Electrician
Old people.
Brandon Herrera
So we'll do. Are you down to join this medieval festival?
Fat Electrician
How many. How many pairs of night armor do we need?
Eli Double Tap
Of course, you already have one.
Fat Electrician
I'm sure me and him could probably wear the same set.
Brandon Herrera
Not at the same time.
Fat Electrician
Close enough. Well, not at the same time.
Administrative Results
If that leaves. Lord commands.
Fat Electrician
I'm not wearing the knight armor the entire time. It's gonna get hot as.
Donut Operator
Yeah, that's the one thing is I want to share.
Administrative Results
It's gonna get sweaty, dude.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
The gang does this in November.
Brandon Herrera
August, the gang dies from.
Donut Operator
Yeah, but we just gotta make sure you got the full kit. So you got the arming jacket, the mail and then the plate and everything.
Fat Electrician
All that stuff inside Quest.
Eli Double Tap
Dude, I'm gonna start doing more deadlifting. Jesus.
Donut Operator
Yeah, yeah.
Brandon Herrera
It was like 60 to 120 pounds for full meal.
Donut Operator
Yeah, I'd say probably because everything like the mail and then the plate and all that stuff is probably £60. I would say probably close to that. Depends on the quality because right now a lot of guys that have heavily invested use titanium. So it's gonna be.
Fat Electrician
Oh, that's cheating.
Donut Operator
It's gonna be a fraction of the weight, you know, for the same amount of protection.
Administrative Results
If not, how much is the titanium suit?
Donut Operator
I don't know. The guy dequeet him, he made. He has one, but I've never asked him how much it is. But his like his real suit is.
Eli Double Tap
Like part of his old SR71 armor.
Fat Electrician
I was an SR71 joke.
Administrative Results
What does master Chief wear? Was it Mjolnir? Yeah, Mjolnir Fly though, right?
Brandon Herrera
You just can't move.
Donut Operator
Get some ceramite. Space marine. It the God king Emperor.
Administrative Results
That's where the bands.
Eli Double Tap
There's a bunch of people in our audience who've never felt the touch of a woman who are loving this episode.
Brandon Herrera
I'm so stoked.
Fat Electrician
If I do this, I'm straight up tackling somebody.
Donut Operator
I'm not messing.
Fat Electrician
Straight to the ground.
Donut Operator
You train right, we'll go in the same time. Just straight up. Just go straight for the takedown.
Fat Electrician
Double jujitsu and armor.
Donut Operator
Exactly.
Eli Double Tap
He's looking for another muscle group to tear.
Donut Operator
Yeah, exactly.
Fat Electrician
Never get torn doing combat. I always get torn doing dumb stuff like bench press.
Brandon Herrera
The dumbest thing you can do is fight in night armor.
Donut Operator
I think that's what I said.
Fat Electrician
I never get. I never get injured doing dumb stuff. I always get interested doing stupid stuff like stuff that shouldn't injure me. Injures me.
Eli Double Tap
Because the last year you popped two titties and a bicep.
Fat Electrician
No, the two titties. The first titty was like four years ago. So it's been a while. Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
£450.
Fat Electrician
Yep.
Brandon Herrera
And then a push up.
Fat Electrician
No freak accident.
Brandon Herrera
And then you caught water.
Donut Operator
Yep.
Fat Electrician
This is true.
Brandon Herrera
This is the wild. Oh, yeah.
Fat Electrician
Okay, well, we'll set that up.
Brandon Herrera
And Brandon, when do you want to fight?
Eli Double Tap
What's up?
Brandon Herrera
October. Late October. We'll do this.
Eli Double Tap
Sure. Yeah. Well, whenever it's not a billion degrees outside in Texas.
Fat Electrician
Hypothetically, if you did announce you were running for Congress, would that be after? Because there's nothing cooler than having a rally while you're fighting as a night.
Donut Operator
No, if you, like, do it again. Like, we could have knights next to you. As you like. Announcement.
Eli Double Tap
What in the idiocracy that is right up there with President Comancho.
Fat Electrician
I present to you the not so Secret Service. I wonder who's protecting Brandon. Is it the phalanx in front of him?
Eli Double Tap
Jesus Christ.
Administrative Results
That guy's got my vote.
Donut Operator
I know.
Brandon Herrera
Well, we're gonna do that then. Fuck yeah. I'm super fucking stoked for this admin. I just watched Breakdown of the Battle of what was the Last of Us.
Fat Electrician
Last of Us.
Administrative Results
God. What's the God forsaken show? Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
Brandon Herrera
I didn't even think about a lot of stuff you brought out until you started talking about it. I was like, forgot. Yeah, they didn't do any of that for 25 years.
Administrative Results
Yeah, 20 years to build make a fortress in the Valley. What the hell were they doing?
Brandon Herrera
You guys haven't watched it yet, have you?
Eli Double Tap
I have no interest in watching the second season. First season was all right. Like, I enjoyed a good Bit of it.
Administrative Results
I will give it credit. First season, episode one, when the outbreak was happening was very good television. Yeah, Very entertaining.
Eli Double Tap
And the last episode, I thought was pretty good. You know, couple shit in between was all right, but, like, no, I enjoyed it. I had a good time with it. Second season, I already know what's up. I'm not watching that shit. Yeah, I was really wondering too, because, like, a lot of that revolved around, you know, the barrels full of gasoline. Like, where are you making that now? Because it is like 25 fucking years after that's no longer a thing.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, admin, what do you point out? There wasn't wooden wall, which makes way less sense when it's that massive OSHA.
Administrative Results
Violation, literally with the worst catapult, like metal ramp just launching these metal barrels. They have to shoot them and then they throw torches to light them on fire.
Eli Double Tap
What the.
Administrative Results
I don't get it, dude.
Eli Double Tap
So now you have flaming zombies that are all over your wooden wall.
Administrative Results
Yes, yes. You're very dry wooden wall.
Donut Operator
Do they even have a trench?
Administrative Results
No trench. Oh, you think anybody, please, love God, build the trench.
Donut Operator
Yeah, it's like 101. Just dig.
Administrative Results
Just dig. A trench.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Administrative Results
Barbed wire.
Fat Electrician
Always wanted a moat. A moat.
Administrative Results
Heaven forbid.
Fat Electrician
A moat would be dope. I want a drawbridge for my house. How cool that would be. You get really old for the f. The FedEx guy.
Brandon Herrera
You have to do it every day. I hate this house.
Eli Double Tap
You have a bunch of stomped Amazon packages outside.
Administrative Results
Fire and put on the catapult, launch it over.
Fat Electrician
I need a moat now. I don't want anybody to steal my little boy replica. I'm gonna put in my front yard.
Brandon Herrera
A weird thing to steal.
Administrative Results
The Chechens may steal your meta tweaker.
Fat Electrician
Scrap metal to them.
Donut Operator
Oh, that's very fair game.
Brandon Herrera
How much does it weigh?
Fat Electrician
That's like £800. It's ridiculous. It was really funny to drive across town in a trailer afraid of tweakers.
Eli Double Tap
Stealing your little boy.
Fat Electrician
Yes.
Eli Double Tap
There'S copper in your skin. Let it out.
Donut Operator
Hey, Brandon.
Eli Double Tap
Yes, Eli?
Brandon Herrera
When you think of businesses that are just crushing it. Bonker on sub, what's the first thing to enter your mind?
Eli Double Tap
That's easy, Eli. A good child labor law attorney, huh? Eli, I said Shopify. What did you hear?
Brandon Herrera
Actually, it was the overlooked secret behind the business.
Eli Double Tap
Like I said, Shopify.
Brandon Herrera
Oh. Which brings us to today's ad Shopify.
Eli Double Tap
I mean, we use Shopify on a daily basis.
Brandon Herrera
That's right. We use Shopify for bunker Brandon and unsub those Magical shoes we have where they're linked through Shopify to the mythical store bunker branding. And because of Shopify they communicate.
Eli Double Tap
It's like your mom and your dad on their anniversary night, not yours.
Brandon Herrera
Nobody does selling better than Shopify.
Eli Double Tap
They are home of the number one checkout on the planet with Shoppay which.
Fat Electrician
Boosts your conversion up to 50%.
Eli Double Tap
50%. Just like the age of all of our factory workers are 50% the age they need to be to be legally employed in the United States.
Brandon Herrera
Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we get over at unsubscribe or bunker.
Eli Double Tap
Sign up for your $1 per month trial period over at shopify.com unsubpod head.
Brandon Herrera
Over to shopify.com unsubpod to upgrade your cell in today.
Eli Double Tap
Shopify.com unsubpod all lowercase. Your nervous system is made of copper with it.
Brandon Herrera
You brought up on that. The one thing I always go back. YouTube didn't exist. So you don't have tutorials. And then also people, I don't know what they were doing during the outbreak. But you had soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's like, whoa, what's going on? Exactly. They're just like, oh, we stuck here now. But the training and everything. Because you point out they don't have Molly and stuff. They have like Alice gear.
Administrative Results
But yeah, like what the should be good enough to carry ammunition. They have no like crew served weapons. You know, brown and 50 cal exists. Saws exist. M 60s exist.
Brandon Herrera
This is the last of us.
Administrative Results
240S exist.
Fat Electrician
The new season.
Administrative Results
Museums exist. America exists. Brandon Herrera existed.
Brandon Herrera
He was like eight.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, but.
Administrative Results
Well, yeah, even eight.
Eli Double Tap
Imagine being permanently stuck in a timeline where the most recent camouflage, the cutting edge is ACU.
Administrative Results
Dates.
Eli Double Tap
Really? What is it?
Brandon Herrera
2006 is when ACU, the end of 2005, early 2006.
Eli Double Tap
ACU got rolled out and last was 2003.
Administrative Results
Oh, don't get God's camo. M81.
Brandon Herrera
But why not?
Fat Electrician
I haven't been able to find. I haven't been able to find the proof, but I'm almost positive it was like literally just some congressman's son that got the contract. Because when they were developing the new camo to replace the Lord's flannel, they had like seven camos that they ran through and they settled on. They did like testing for years. They did testing and they settled on one that looks almost identical to multicam. They settled on it, they did the testing for years. And then they went into the meeting and they're like, I like this one more. The digicam. And it wasn't even one of the ones that they had tested. So they ran through all the testing of, like, it was like, six to eight different camos, found the best one, and then just pulled the shittiest camo ever out of left field. And we're like, we're going with this.
Brandon Herrera
A billion dollars was spent on AC.
Fat Electrician
It was a billion.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, $1 billion for that camo pattern, by the way.
Eli Double Tap
To develop it.
Fat Electrician
Yep, yep, Somebody. That's what I'm saying.
Eli Double Tap
My eye just twitched.
Fat Electrician
It was Hunter Biden on his laptop with Microsoft paint. Got a billion dollars.
Brandon Herrera
It's a grandma with her couch cushion.
Donut Operator
I know.
Eli Double Tap
Kev, could we pull up the picture of the.
Donut Operator
The.
Eli Double Tap
The guy planking on grandma's couch in acu?
Brandon Herrera
Can't see anything. It actually blends in perfectly.
Fat Electrician
To be fair, the Navy's version of ACU was objectively worse.
Brandon Herrera
Oh.
Fat Electrician
The dark and light blue digi cam, you know, because if you're on a warship, what you want to do is to be able to blend in with the fucking water.
Brandon Herrera
Man overboard.
Fat Electrician
Where the did he go?
Donut Operator
Oh. Oh.
Administrative Results
No.
Brandon Herrera
Weapons. If they fight on the water, they.
Donut Operator
Have to blend in on.
Eli Double Tap
I saw where he hit the water. Because you don't want to see anybody. To be able to see you on a massive battleship.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Administrative Results
Five stories, right?
Eli Double Tap
What are we hiding?
Administrative Results
Exactly.
Fat Electrician
Don't worry. I'm sure they're gonna quit dropping bombs on the cruiser because Jim fell overboard.
Eli Double Tap
Off.
Donut Operator
God.
Brandon Herrera
You guys need to watch at least episode two, though, of the Last of Us, because it is absolutely horrendous. They throw all tactical knowledge out the window, and it is 25 years. They had to develop that bitch.
Donut Operator
Right.
Eli Double Tap
You know, that one friend who somehow knows everything about money? Yeah. Now imagine they live in your phone. Say hey to Experian, your big financial friend. It's the app that helps you check your FICO score, find ways to save, and basically feel like a financial genius. And guess what?
Donut Operator
It's totally free.
Eli Double Tap
So go on. Download the Experian app. Trust me, having a BFF like this is a total game changer.
Administrative Results
Five years, dude.
Brandon Herrera
25 years.
Fat Electrician
Wood walls.
Administrative Results
Yeah, it takes place 20, 28. So 25 years.
Eli Double Tap
Yep.
Brandon Herrera
And then there's, like, past that. It's like one guy gets in, and then it's just. Everything falls apart instantly.
Eli Double Tap
One.
Administrative Results
One big chungus of a zombie hits the wall, and then the whole thing.
Donut Operator
Falls apart very deep. What was the point?
Administrative Results
Dude?
Brandon Herrera
Dude, it's so bad. A chongus of a zombie is the best way to describe what it is.
Administrative Results
Yo.
Brandon Herrera
Big Chungus is in. Chongus is in.
Eli Double Tap
Big Chungus open fire.
Administrative Results
No one like, shits fired and, like, put a bunch of lead into it.
Brandon Herrera
And then it's just him running for.
Eli Double Tap
There is.
Brandon Herrera
They didn't put any downstairs. So every. All the zombies go up top and start killing everyone instantly.
Administrative Results
Is bad hbo, Dude.
Eli Double Tap
One of the complaints that I heard was that it was like, it looked like they were getting their ass kicked, and then just suddenly everything's fine.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Administrative Results
They won.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah.
Administrative Results
Yeah. Tommy's wife goes and releases the hounds, and then all of a sudden, they win.
Brandon Herrera
I forgot. Dogs are what.
Fat Electrician
Help.
Brandon Herrera
Stop that.
Administrative Results
Yeah, I don't. I don't know, dude. I don't get it.
Fat Electrician
The are dogs doing against zombies?
Donut Operator
Unless they're immune.
Fat Electrician
Yeah.
Donut Operator
It wouldn't make any sense.
Eli Double Tap
The ultimate Uno reverse card.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Is you're afraid to get bitten by zombies. Now they're fighting the zombies.
Fat Electrician
All the zombies start turning into dogs.
Eli Double Tap
Holy shit.
Fat Electrician
Look at all these German Shepherds.
Eli Double Tap
In that case, I know a lot of toddlers that have turned into pit bul.
Administrative Results
Movie idea. A werewolf. That's a toddler that turns into a pit bull.
Fat Electrician
How funny would that be For a spoof movie, though? Like, we imagine World War Z, but instead of developing the cure for immunity, we just. We develop a cure to make dogs turn the zombies into dogs. It'd be perfect.
Administrative Results
Can we go with mine? I thought mine was more plausible.
Brandon Herrera
Welcome, Dash. This is what you get. Did you watch a single episode before?
Donut Operator
Okay. Thank God. I braced myself for what would be unhinged shenanigans.
Brandon Herrera
He's like, I'll just watch this grandma episode real quick. He's like, grandma.
Eli Double Tap
He's like, oh, they're sweet.
Fat Electrician
This is a nice relaxation.
Donut Operator
Dear God, what have I done? I'm already on the plane. It's too late now. That was just such a. I'm in it.
Eli Double Tap
A funny. Just so. Such a polite letdown. Well, we could do my movie idea. No.
Donut Operator
Holy. Settle in.
Administrative Results
The medieval knight form of combat.
Donut Operator
I think that's. That's a winner right there. That and the GED thing.
Administrative Results
Nick's gonna kick my ass.
Fat Electrician
That'd be great.
Donut Operator
I mean.
Brandon Herrera
Okay, so going back to your. Your medieval movies, what do you. What is your style of content specifically for yourself?
Donut Operator
Like, me?
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Donut Operator
So just like, imagine you were a kid and you had two toys, and you go and you smash them together. That's kind of the idea behind a Lot of it. I shoot super heavy duty warbows. So I've trained my life to get up to like 160 pound bow. So there's not a lot of people that do that. There's a few guys out in England, but not a lot. So I do a lot of archery type content against plate armor and different type of things like that. Because there's few people that have that capacity for that draw weight.
Brandon Herrera
Just for reference, like 160. What's your max pullback?
Administrative Results
The most I've gotten so far has been like 120ish pounds probably.
Brandon Herrera
Brandon, when you pull. God crazy. 55. Yes. The compound bow. But it was 55 when you pulled it back.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah, that's absurd. 120, 160. One hundred and sixty is insane.
Donut Operator
So that was like always been like my goal to try to get to that. So I've had some cool stuff where APA sent me. They sent me like a hundred pound compound bow which is like the latest and greatest. And so I did that. And so just like. Because a lot of people give me. I've never used the clamp so I was using my fingers on it and a lot of people give me grief about that. But it's. They said it was fine to do. So I was pulling that and that was doing crazy work.
Eli Double Tap
Eli's face right now, bro.
Brandon Herrera
You were, you weren't using a fucking.
Donut Operator
No lease.
Brandon Herrera
You were just with your fingers doing.
Fat Electrician
£100 period accurate, homie.
Donut Operator
How do you just. Three fingers. So that was like. That was a cool one because I tested against like hardened steel plate and the, the war bows fail against that. But when you get that compound like the modern bow and I had a bishop arrow. So bishops are like. They're the arrows used for hunting elephants in big game. It's like a 1700 grain double the.
Fat Electrician
Did you just hunt an elephant with a pointy stick?
Donut Operator
No.
Brandon Herrera
You're still £100 on a compound, bro.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Your poor wife.
Eli Double Tap
Jesus. 180 pound rated fingers right there.
Brandon Herrera
I'm like Jesus.
Administrative Results
Hard to articulate the satisfaction I have right now for having my reference material here in flesh. Bash doesn't know how many times here and in real life I've referenced him. So it's nice to have my source material present so I can tell you.
Eli Double Tap
If you ever get into the AK space. I'm kind of.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
Have you ever had like any. I guess like X rays comparing arms to see if after doing this for so long you have more so density your arm over the other I actually.
Donut Operator
Haven'T done that, but I, like, this is anecdotal, but I got, like, a while ago, I got a massage and the guy was talking to me and he's like.
Administrative Results
Hold on.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Pause.
Donut Operator
Just saying. Just saying.
Administrative Results
He has strong hands.
Donut Operator
Yes. So what do you do for him? My wife made the massage. It was a couple's massage. She was in the room, which I don't know if it makes it worse, I'm digging a deeper hole.
Fat Electrician
Dear God.
Brandon Herrera
She's sitting in corner.
Eli Double Tap
We really don't need to know about Candy.
Brandon Herrera
She was in the rooms way worse.
Donut Operator
I'm in it now. I'm gonna finish the story. I can't abort. Go ahead.
Eli Double Tap
So your. Your wife is watching.
Donut Operator
Yes, yes, yes. But. But they said that it felt like there was like, two different backs when he was doing it. Like, the way the muscle ligaments attached on one side versus the other one felt extremely different. Like there was different. Like, it felt almost like a completely different anatomy for one. The left side to the right side.
Fat Electrician
And then he charged you for two massages.
Donut Operator
Yes. So I do think that there's a little bit of that. And historically, you could find. Because they started such a young age, there was actually. They would deform the skeleton because it would mess with the growth patterns because they would start pulling it so young. So they can identify archers by their skeletons because there is a curve and they have an example of one at a history museum over in England of an archer skeleton. And they had, like. It was like a. The excess bone mass on a specific side. So there's a little bit of a hunch as well, just from the strain of doing the actual weight of that bow.
Eli Double Tap
Kind of makes sense. It's like MMA with, like, conditioning.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah. You know, shim bones, Anything like that from, like, Typhoon?
Donut Operator
Yeah, very similar. Yeah, exactly. Same concept as that. Yeah. So I've never done the X ray. I've had a few people ask to do it, but I haven't done that yet, so.
Fat Electrician
Do it.
Donut Operator
Okay.
Fat Electrician
All right, we'll sponsor that.
Donut Operator
Okay.
Brandon Herrera
Circums a lot, whatever your name is.
Donut Operator
We're.
Eli Double Tap
We're making sure that the strength of our fighter is where we need you to be. Yeah, we need the MRIs, the X rays. You know, don't want to bet on a lame horse.
Donut Operator
Oh, my gosh. I'm just commodity now. Just getting pushed around.
Eli Double Tap
I didn't have unsub gets into Mandingo fighting.
Brandon Herrera
I know, Exactly. It took a different time.
Fat Electrician
Here we are.
Donut Operator
So. And then additionally, I Do a lot of stuff with the sling, the shepherd sling. So that's the thing that, like David used, right? That's old school rope. Like just rope over the head, swing around. And so I do a lot of stuff with that. Testing it against different types of armor, soft armors as well. So I do some of the. The bone. Like most of my stuff I don't have the budget for, like, ballistic dummy, but I get like cow ribs and femurs and things like that to test it behind, like, the soft armor, how a sling does against that. So like if a rock would crack rib behind.
Brandon Herrera
Well, you were saying, how big were the arrows? How many grain were they?
Donut Operator
So the arrows are like 1500, 1600 grains.
Brandon Herrera
And then how is for the 160 pounds, how big are.
Donut Operator
Oh, that's. That's about 700 grains. For that. 1700 grains. But the arrows I got from bishop archery were 1700 modern arrows, and they have like zero flex. And those are like 200 bucks a pop. The guy was nice enough to send me like six of them to try, but they are really expensive.
Eli Double Tap
1700 grains for references, like just under 350 cals.
Brandon Herrera
God dang. There's a massive, massive error. And then that one. How hard is that? £160.
Donut Operator
I mean, that's the limit right now. I have 180 and 175 I've been working towards. My goal was always to get to 200 because that's like the world record. Technically, there's people that do more, but they just haven't. You know how the world record works where there's like people like, I want to pay for this and so they get the record. But there's dudes out there that can pull like 210, 220. But I've always just wanted to get to like that £200. So I've worked on that for a long time, but once I got to 160, 165, I've just been stuck. Like, you just your body, it's so taxing that you. Your body just wants to break in on itself. Like, especially the left shoulder trying to hold it out at that point, it's almost like compressing you in mass.
Brandon Herrera
Moves mass. And you're not. You're like a buck 90 maybe. Bucket. Yeah, yeah. So you need to be like 250. How big were the guys pulling those?
Donut Operator
Well, they were. I mean, they were smaller, obviously. That was just. I mean, they weren't like. They were strong. Right. That's the thing. It's like think of anyone with a specific muscle grouping for a specific thing, like arm wrestlers or things like that, where they get like, you know, they have very specific muscles for very specific movements. It doesn't mean that you're strong overall. It means you're strong in a specific, specific movement that you do. And so with those archers, it was really just being able to be strong in that movement. They were extremely strong, but it wouldn't translate to like raw strength. Like, I don't think they would out bench press people. Right. It's just that one particular movement that is why.
Brandon Herrera
And how hard is it hitting a lot of those objects? Armor or what's it.
Donut Operator
I mean, it's very hard. The only problem is that wood is not a great wood does not transfer energy well because when the wood arrow hits, it tends to diffuse it if it's not going through it and it loses momentum fast. So if I go against like, let's say different armor types. So like, mild steel is what's used a lot of times nowadays with like different types of replication. So mild steel is like low carbon content. And so it's not going to do a great job stopping it. But if you have like a hardened steel, even if it's like, you know, C60 hardened steel and you have like 0.5 or 1 millimeter, 1.5 millimeters. At 1.5, it's not getting through. But at 1 millimeter, I can punch into it a little bit, but it's not going to go through. Male and Pat and Gamison, it's just going to punch into it. It's not going to hit the whole thing.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, it's wild to me. Is this what got you into your autism? Was like, oh, yeah.
Donut Operator
Reach out to this guy, Bernard Cornwell.
Administrative Results
His work on the Archer series got me into it. Then I found Dash and I was like, this. This dude is pulling 160.
Eli Double Tap
What the.
Administrative Results
Like, I was. It was insane because once you start, you're like, okay, I guess I'll get a heavy bow. Then you realize where you're actually at.
Donut Operator
I.
Administrative Results
I've been technically lifting weight since I'm 13. I was like, I could hop in on this no problem. Humbled, extremely fast.
Brandon Herrera
Even compound was like £60. I mean, like, Brandon, you got humbled.
Eli Double Tap
By like, it is like, it's harder than you think. Like, it doesn't sound like a lot of weight, but when it's an awkward movement that you're not used to doing. Right, which I was actually going to ask as a follow up to that. What kind of exercises in the gym do you do specifically for archery that would help with that muscle group?
Donut Operator
So the best thing realistically is you got to understand to the style is very different than Olympic style archery. Olympic style archery is usually like you see them and they come in like this and they activate the back, but it's not really doing much. The best thing is like a wide grip pull up. Because what you're actually doing is you're coming in and you're dropping down. And so it's basically pushing, pulling and dropping. And so that drop motion right there, that's the hardest part because that's when you get from like 24 inches, 26 to like 32. So that's when most of the weight stacks. And so wide grip pull ups is something that's really going to get you to be able to drop in that extra, that extra little movement right there. So that and weighted wide grip pull ups. But I also have like a little.
Eli Double Tap
Weighted wide grip pull ups. Yeah, I'm not in that good shape.
Brandon Herrera
It's called body weight.
Donut Operator
Yeah. So those are actually going to be the most useful for that type of archery. But if you're just like doing standard, you know, archery with Modern is 40, 45 pounds. It's going to be right in here just like this. It's not going to take the whole body into account.
Brandon Herrera
And that's. You were like, I'll start after 80, 60. What were you starting off at?
Administrative Results
My first bow, I tried to buy £100, but I think it ended up being closer to like 70 or 80. Once I got my 109 pounder, because then I got my 135 pounder, I don't get a full draw on it. So it's probably like £100 20. But that one, it's like if I don't train on it, like I can't just hop back in on the heaviest weight. Like I have to essentially restack my way up.
Eli Double Tap
What were you cracking up at?
Fat Electrician
Huh?
Eli Double Tap
What were you cracking up at? A second ago?
Fat Electrician
My mom just texted me. Yeah, we've all met. My dad. Yeah, well, see, I'm just gonna read this text message. Your dad took Nana and I to Plaza Mexico, the local Mexican restaurant.
Eli Double Tap
Bleep that. Just in case that's a local place.
Fat Electrician
That's five of them. So the cook was whistling non stop. Your dad asked the waiter if he could start whistling in English.
Donut Operator
That reminds me.
Eli Double Tap
That reminds me of like Stephen, daughter in law.
Brandon Herrera
Your kids are Mexican.
Eli Double Tap
Like the bad. Subtitles on a Like a Netflix thing. Whistles in Spanish.
Fat Electrician
I checked my phone. That took me.
Brandon Herrera
That's just like my real estate career.
Eli Double Tap
What's that? What does that server say? They're just like, oh, yes, server. Certainly, sir.
Donut Operator
And walk away.
Eli Double Tap
Wait, what?
Fat Electrician
My dad's been going there three times a week for 15 years. They know he's joking. Yeah, just funny. Can you tell him to whistle in English, please?
Brandon Herrera
Brandon, what's. I actually meant to ask yesterday. What's the next video you're working on? You have any like gun builds coming up?
Eli Double Tap
Oh, I. Did I talk about any of the stuff I got from Rock Island?
Fat Electrician
No.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, I don't think so.
Eli Double Tap
I kind of. That had a weekend that was, you know, during one of my.
Fat Electrician
That sounds expensive.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah, yeah, I. I was a little fast and loose. I bought a M79 Thumper. Like the little 40. A real one.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, it's a 40 mic mic grenade.
Donut Operator
Okay, I need subtitles. Subtitles.
Eli Double Tap
It's not a stick.
Donut Operator
I don't get it. It's a stick and a string as far as I go.
Eli Double Tap
I mean it's kind of a stick. It just has a bigger tool, but. But yeah, like Vietnam era. 40 millimeter, like single shot grenade launcher, but got one of those. Picked up the Beretta AR70 from doing some Metal Gear shit because fucking Eli got me an MGS5 and that's a gun I don't own and I can't have that. So that was. Could not tolerate it. Picked up one of those. So I'm gonna be doing probably. You and I probably gonna work together on a medical Metal Gear Solid video.
Fat Electrician
You have to incorporate the box.
Donut Operator
That's exciting. Oh, you have to incorporate the box.
Eli Double Tap
Because we've got some exotic that. I mean like the Bear, a Beretta or excuse me, the Barrett M82A2. There's like 12 of those in the world.
Brandon Herrera
And you have one, the shoulder one.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah, I think I have the one that's. I'm not sure about this part, but I think I have the one that's ever gone. The only one that's ever gone to commercial sale, like for civilians.
Fat Electrician
Because one's in a prop house and the rest are still. Nobody knows.
Eli Double Tap
I'm sure the military kept some of them. Barrett, I think kept one or two. One of them ended up in like Norway somehow, like their military.
Brandon Herrera
But an MGS5? No idea. Or MGS4. Hadeo picked that. No idea how he picked that weapon platform for that game.
Eli Double Tap
Everyone's like, no clue.
Brandon Herrera
Highly specific because we have what? That we're looking for. A PSG one. I have the stick, the steamer.
Fat Electrician
Missile launcher.50 cal.
Brandon Herrera
Sniper tube of it.
Donut Operator
I know.
Brandon Herrera
Missile launcher. And then unique version.
Fat Electrician
Sits on your shoulder like an rpg, like a bazooka. And you shoot it that way instead of being a sniper rifle.
Eli Double Tap
The military sits like.
Donut Operator
It wraps on your.
Fat Electrician
Yeah. Like the magazine. Yeah, it's right here. And there's a butt stock that rests on your shoulder and you hold it and it, like, sits on your shoulder like a bazooka, dude. But it's a.50 cal.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah. Jamie, pull that up.
Administrative Results
It's actually pretty smart if you think about it.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Administrative Results
For carrying around a Barrett.
Fat Electrician
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
That right there.
Donut Operator
Oh, my Lord. Yeah. That's insane.
Brandon Herrera
Also terrifying where the action happens.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, that's right.
Brandon Herrera
That's where I'm afraid of.
Fat Electrician
Believe me, either it's gonna work out or you're not gonna care.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah. Yeah, pretty much the. Because that was the one that Chris Barrett. I posted something where I. I showed that I. I had one of those. Or when I had just picked it up, and he's like, I don't ever use this fucking word, but that's actually a unicorn. He's like, how? Genuinely. How the fuck did you get that? But rare fucking weapon. Yeah. So we just got a bunch of stuff from Metal Gear and, you know, the Metal Gear fans are fucking rabid. I had no idea.
Donut Operator
Yeah, It's a real thing. Yeah. It's a whole subculture that's very passionate about it.
Brandon Herrera
So I joined the military because I know it's not the message of that.
Donut Operator
Game.
Brandon Herrera
The opposite of that, but I joined because of it. I'm so fucking stoked. And then you got the Volcanic.
Eli Double Tap
Oh, yeah, the Volcanic Pistol picked up one of those. So we're gonna try our hand at recreating some of the ammunition for it. Because it's the Rocket Ball.
Fat Electrician
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
It doesn't exist. Unobtainium. I saw Rock island actually sold a couple years ago. They sold like 80 rounds of volcanic ammo like this. It was still like, new in box from the 18. Like 1855. It's like 20 fucking grand for a box of ammo.
Administrative Results
Oh, my God.
Eli Double Tap
Most of which probably doesn't work.
Brandon Herrera
It's weird ammo because that's the first. That's the original Gyrojet. Kind of.
Eli Double Tap
It's. That's kind of a misnomer, but they called it Rocket Ball. Like, it kind of is like that. It really was a very unique take, actually, from the company that later became Smith and Wesson. It was some, some guy, his last name was Smith and you had Dan Wesson and they worked together on the, the volcanic project and getting that made. But basically it was a predecessor to self contained cartridges. So basically they took like if you can imagine, like a mini ball, like one of those projectiles from like the Civil War, like black powder. They had one of those, but it was hollowed out in the back where they stored the powder in the bullet and put a primer on the back. So it's kind of like a self contained cartridge with no. No brass.
Brandon Herrera
Was there still rifling?
Eli Double Tap
Yeah, I believe so.
Brandon Herrera
No shit.
Donut Operator
Hablas espanol spries to dioech.
Eli Double Tap
If you used Babbel you would.
Donut Operator
Babbel's conversation based techniques teaches you useful.
Eli Double Tap
Words and phrases to get you speaking.
Fat Electrician
Quickly about the things you actually talk.
Eli Double Tap
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Donut Operator
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Fat Electrician
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Donut Operator
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Fat Electrician
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Eli Double Tap
I said that very confidently. I'm not sure but I think so.
Brandon Herrera
Maybe so. I don't know.
Eli Double Tap
The only problem is they were notoriously underpowered. Like to the fact that there was a. There's a story, I don't know if it's true, but a guy tried to fucking kill self with one of them and failed because it's like a 100 grain projectile, I think. Just nothing to sneeze at. But I think it was going like 260ft per second.
Administrative Results
A paintball player solve that thing?
Eli Double Tap
Yeah, straight up. That's shitty Airsoft speed.
Administrative Results
Call your hits.
Fat Electrician
When me and Ethan went out to that renaissance festival, I didn't realize how like I guess they had. They would adjust cannon fire. Like I just always assumed that they would like you know, lift the cannon up and drop the cannon down. And the dudes that were running, they're like, no, there's a. The mathematician on the back that was loading the next round and he would actually on the fly, like we need this one to go further. And he would pack more black powder.
Eli Double Tap
Into the charge and they would literally cut fuses.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, yeah, that's like this dude is just on the fly determining like for when the ball is going to explode on an explosive round and how much powder to put in for how far they want it to go just on the fly. Some dude doing math equations, figuring out.
Brandon Herrera
For multiple cannons back to back to back.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, like each. Each cannon had a dude doing all the math and they're like, they would just set the cannons up and fire. And then like they didn't move the cannons anymore. Instead they just repacked the ammunition.
Eli Double Tap
It's like.
Fat Electrician
Okay, so opposite of what a sniper does now, right? You use match grade ammunition, so that's the constant. And then you change the scope. They did the opposite.
Brandon Herrera
So the can, the actual. The rifle was the constant.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, the rifle was a constant. And they just repacked the ammunition on fly.
Brandon Herrera
That's wild.
Eli Double Tap
And they'd have like a chart there in the. The little carriage where they're like, okay, well, if we need to fire at, you know, this many yards, we'll have five seconds of flight time, which means we need to cut a quarter inch off the tip of the fuse so that it explodes over the enemy. Like they were doing a bunch of calculations.
Fat Electrician
It was wild.
Brandon Herrera
How fast were they at it too?
Fat Electrician
I forget what he said in the video, but it was like alarmingly fast. Like they were firing that cannon like every like 12 seconds. Seconds.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah. It was multiple rounds per minute at least.
Fat Electrician
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
That's terrifying warfare too, because that is. Your buddy's there. Your buddy's no longer there. Or his legs are no longer.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
It's also nice when the enemy formation's also constant.
Brandon Herrera
Stand there, Take it like a man line.
Eli Double Tap
You don't need to be that accurate. It's. You're firing at minute of crowd.
Administrative Results
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Failings formation not working.
Administrative Results
Oh my God, they have horses.
Donut Operator
Get to a square. Yeah.
Administrative Results
That I actually just watched Waterloo from 1970. Movie goes hard.
Fat Electrician
Dude.
Donut Operator
Dude, that was so many extras to actually make the squares. They had like, what with like thousands of people.
Administrative Results
So they filmed this in Ukraine during the Soviet Union. They pretty much use all Red army extras to make this movie.
Brandon Herrera
I've never seen this movie, so I.
Administrative Results
Think from my research it flopped domestically here in the States. But now it's like it's kind of still like a cult classic because it's like literally an epic of a movie. Like they're not going to make a movie like this again with no cgi. They had some dummies to play, like really far shots, like in formation. But. But everyone you see in the. In the shots are usually like real humans. Not usually. They are real humans.
Eli Double Tap
Kind of like Lawrence of Arabia. That kind of scale.
Administrative Results
The epic. Yeah. Exactly. It is sick, dude, because you'll see the big cavalry charges and all the extras are forming square, and there's just. It's just movie. It's just beautiful movie. There's no, like, Hollywood message. There's nothing to it. It's just dudes killing each other.
Fat Electrician
No cultural dialogue, reenactment, or a head happen.
Donut Operator
Yeah, literally.
Administrative Results
You have Napoleon. He's like, I'm going to kill this guy. And you have Lord Valentine's. Like, I'm going to stop Napoleon. And it's just epic, dude.
Eli Double Tap
An epic retailing of retelling of the. The battle that inspired Abba.
Administrative Results
Know what that is?
Fat Electrician
What?
Eli Double Tap
Waterloo. It's a really, really deep cut. I'm sorry.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, my God.
Donut Operator
Okay. I'm just happy I'm not the only one that missed it.
Brandon Herrera
Chase put in crickets.
Eli Double Tap
I'll see myself took a comedian Chris there.
Administrative Results
The formation was cut down by graveshot.
Eli Double Tap
There's like, 12 guys out there that thought that was funny. That was for you.
Fat Electrician
So how does one get into.
Donut Operator
I don't.
Fat Electrician
I guess I don't know if it's competitive, but, I mean, you're one of the best in the world at warbows. How. Like, how do you get into that?
Donut Operator
Oh, I mean, for me, it was just. I would always read about these historical classes and, you know, and cultures and things. And I'm in high school. I remember reading about English archers and how they would do up to 150 pounds, and I'm like, what does that mean? Like, I didn't have that.
Administrative Results
You got that in high school?
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Administrative Results
Damn.
Donut Operator
I didn't have an idea as to what that. Like, that. I just read about it, and I'm like, what is that? What does it even feel like? And so it kind of became a goal to, like, I want to see if I can match what that did. It's the same with, like, the sling. I read about the Balearic slingers in, like, the islands of Mallorca. Spaniards, and I was like, I wonder if I can master a sling. And so it really was just reading about historical, like, a craft or skill that people would master and trying to see if I could replicate that over time. And so it was just. It's just always been something that in. Just drove me to, like, I want to see if I could master what man did back in the day or at least get passable at it, you.
Brandon Herrera
Know, Way cooler than my. I learned a Yo, yo in 30.
Eli Double Tap
I'm still on Aaron's team where it's like, you learned that in school?
Administrative Results
Yes.
Eli Double Tap
Cooler. History teacher.
Donut Operator
No, no.
Eli Double Tap
In the beginning.
Donut Operator
No. I read about on my own.
Fat Electrician
Okay.
Donut Operator
Because I. I remember I read Lord of the Rings and I was, like, fascinated with Legolas. Legolas. And then I was like, well, what? Like, I want to read more about archers. So I just started reading archers on my own and just started, like, reading about history and the English archers and everything. And you go back to the. The Welsh and like the archers of Gwent back. That predates that. And they had different bows that weren't you, but were still really powerful. So it was just something that I was always like, I want to see if I can match what people did back in the day, if I can measure up to what they could get to. And so that was always. Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Huh.
Fat Electrician
That is. Well, I guess we're all lucky he didn't pick Genghis Khan.
Donut Operator
I cannot ride a horse, and I would be a horrible horse.
Fat Electrician
I was worried. I was. I wasn't worried about the horse riding by. Not with that hair and aesthetic wasn't my concern.
Eli Double Tap
Master of husbandry. Circum.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Sir.
Donut Operator
Come full circle.
Brandon Herrera
Well, you know what? His armor is going to be.
Eli Double Tap
The white knight. There you go. A little bit of redemption there.
Brandon Herrera
Lorne.
Administrative Results
Brandon has studied the comedic line.
Eli Double Tap
Holding steady. They keep me around for some reason.
Donut Operator
Oh, my gosh.
Eli Double Tap
I haven't been fired yet.
Brandon Herrera
Nick, what are you working on next? I don't even know your next fucking video.
Donut Operator
Oh, no.
Brandon Herrera
I was like, this entire weekend, we haven't had time to ask. Asked just those questions yet, which is surprising.
Eli Double Tap
That's true.
Fat Electrician
Did I tell the 442nd bit on podcast? I don't think I did. I think I told you off camera.
Eli Double Tap
I don't recall which. Which one was that?
Fat Electrician
I did a video. It should be going up on Wednesday. This podcast will be after that. Yeah, yeah. So I can tell it. I'm doing a video on the 442nd Infantry Division, which was the American Japanese that volunteered Fight for America anyways, even though a lot of them were being put in internment camps unjustly. And I kind of follow why they put the Japanese in internment camps. Like, what the justification was, why it was messed up. Then I follow the unit all the way through combat, and then each stage of combat kind of has, like, one standout guy that did something incredible. So I guess, like, the. The two coolest or slash funniest for me was the whole reason that FDR and the military as a whole, like, decided we're gonna put every Japanese Person in an internment camp was a Nihau incident. So during the second wave of the attack on Pearl harbor, they got American planes up in the air and they were dog fighting with the Japanese Zeros. One of the Japanese Zeros got hit in the fuel tank, and he had to make. He didn't have enough fuel to get back to the carrier. So he made the emergency landing on what he thought was an abandoned island called Niihau. And so he makes this emergency landing, but there's actually 200 Hawaiians that live there. And the Hawaiians don't know that Pearl harbor happened yet because it's like 90 miles away. So they, like, trying to help this guy, like treating him like just some dude that crashed a plane, like, oh, yeah, we'll help you, blah, blah, blah. Well, then they find out, you know, within, you know, six, eight hours that they had attacked Pearl Harbor. So they throw him in jail on Nihau. There was two Japanese people that lived there, and it was a man and a wife. And the husband decides that he's sympathetic to the cause and he's going to help him escape. So they spring this guy out of jail and get him a gun. And the Hawaiians obviously try to stop him, but he's already got a gun. Now it's Hawaii in 1941, you know, so this Samoan dude. Not Samoan, Polynesian Hawaiian. He. He goes to stop him. His name's Ben Kanahile. And he gets shot three times charging at this Japanese Imperial pilot and makes it to the pilot, proceeds to pick him up and throw him into a stone wall. Wall. And then slit his throat with a hunting knife and survive. Which is the most Polynesian I've ever in my life.
Brandon Herrera
Guys, when you leave your dogs at home, do you ever worry that they might find your firearm?
Eli Double Tap
Damn. Maybe the ATF is onto something. No, I never thought about that.
Donut Operator
Introducing Stop Box.
Eli Double Tap
Stop Box. Stop Box. Stop. I'm sure a lot of you guys and gals have a handgun for self defense, as we all do. And if you do, it probably fits into one of two categories. Categories.
Fat Electrician
It's locked up, but not within reach.
Eli Double Tap
Or it's just laying around where anybody could have access to it.
Brandon Herrera
Well, Starbucks USA saw the problem and they came up with the Stop Box Pro.
Eli Double Tap
It's all mechanical, so you don't have to worry about it.
Fat Electrician
It's battery list, ribbed for your pleasure.
Eli Double Tap
What I love about this is it's TSA approved.
Fat Electrician
Most gun cases, when you want to.
Eli Double Tap
Fly with a weapon has three or four Little holes. This one has one. So you only need one lock and you do your.
Brandon Herrera
Our listeners are getting 10% off if you use Code Unsub. And right now they're doing buy one get one free.
Eli Double Tap
That's a crazy deal. That's 10% off and a free Stopbox Pro. When you use code unsub@stopboxusa.com 10% and.
Brandon Herrera
Buy one get one, they have to.
Fat Electrician
Be operating at a loss.
Eli Double Tap
One of my favorite parts about the stop box is that it is actually Made in America.
Brandon Herrera
America Made in America. Discover a better way to balance security and readiness with Starbucks.
Eli Double Tap
Starbucks Stop Box.
Fat Electrician
So and then that ended up being like the catalyst of like one of the main excuses for like, well, we can't trust American Japanese people. We have to put them in permacast because they're all going to side with Japan, which obviously is stupid, horrible, one of the worst things America's ever done. But that was the reason reasoning for it. And then how progressive.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, I'm still picturing ragdolling that little dude.
Donut Operator
Yeah, yeah.
Eli Double Tap
I picture Dwayne Johnson's character from Moana.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
So like that was cool. And then it. I kind of like low key, follow one character through the whole story. I like give you little updates on him. And then he comes out being like the main hero at the end at right at the end of World War II when the Allied forces break through the German Gothic line, which is like the last main line of defense in Italy. And then they, Germany ended up surrendering like two weeks later. So they, they fight all the way through this, North Africa, Italy. They're fighting the entire time. They take massive casualties. And he actually there's a guy named. Oh my God, Daniel Inouye. He ends up getting promoted at one point he was, he goes in to save the lost battalion in World War II. He gets shot in the chest. He carries two silver dollars for luck in his front breast pocket. Caught the bullet saved his life. So then he goes in on the Gothic line. They get pinned down by three MG42 nests. His whole platoon's pinned down and he's the lieutenant. So he gets up, rushes a MG42 nest with a grenade, throws a grenade into it, gets shot in the stomach, blows up the first MG42 nest, keeps running, throws a grenade into the second MG42 nest, blows that one up, goes into towards the third and he goes to, pulls the pen on the grenade, winds back and he gets within. He's somewhere between five and ten yards from the nest and the Germans fire A rocket propelled grenade at him. He was so close the grenade didn't have time to arm. But just the sheer force of the grenade hits his arm and severs it. And it's like dangling by tissue. And his hand is holding a live grenade with no pen in it. And he can't control it anymore. So he collapses. And his dudes like stand up to go run towards them and he turns back and he's yelling, no, stay back. Because he's worried his hand's gonna relax and let go of that grenade and kill everybody. So he laying down with missing an arm, takes his left hand prize, a live grenade out and then ends up throwing it left handed and single handed into this last German machine gun nest. Blows it up, gets up with his Thompson, kills at least one German, some say, some accounts said as high as many as three. So between one and three more Germans with a Thompson submachine gun, one handed. Then he gets shot in the leg and falls down unconscious. And when he wakes up, his guys are looking down at him and his dudes like all the accounts are. He said, and I quote, nobody called off the war as they're dragging him back to the rear. And he had so much morphine in the field that they couldn't give him any more morphine without basically stopping his heart dropping his oxygen levels too low, it would kill him. And they didn't have anesthesia. So then he got his arm amputated in the field and then he goes on to survive. And he wanted, he always wanted to be a surgeon, but he can't be a surgeon with one arm. So he got into politics. He was a Hawaiian territorial senator that was instrumental in Hawaii becoming a state. And then he served as Hawaii's state senator until 2012 when he passed away.
Eli Double Tap
What a g. Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Cody had a fever today.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah. Why am I getting. I'm not even here today again, this whole holy throwing haymakers at host today.
Donut Operator
Oh my God.
Administrative Results
The worst part about that whole story is I didn't have any food to eat while you told it. I usually have when I watch your video.
Donut Operator
Popcorn.
Administrative Results
Oh, man.
Eli Double Tap
You're either a food youtuber or you're. You're a shower youtuber. I watch YouTube in the shower in the mornings when I'm getting ready.
Administrative Results
Or you're a YouTuber.
Donut Operator
Oh, really?
Eli Double Tap
Yeah, that's actually a high up.
Donut Operator
That's precious time.
Administrative Results
Shower was up there.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah, that was. I think Connor had mentioned that at some point where he said, you know, I just want you to know you're a TV YouTuber Dang, dude, that's a high honor. Wait to watch it on the big screen.
Administrative Results
Big screen.
Brandon Herrera
Jesus, dude. Running at three in the third, one arm gets blown off and you're like it. I'll grab it with my other non dominant arm. This throw is going to look gay and then it will land.
Administrative Results
Next specify with just one hand as.
Brandon Herrera
Opposed to two hands. He's like, ah, he threw his hand. It's a potato smasher. What was that? I don't know.
Eli Double Tap
My lucky inertia up. And he tosses the hand grenade.
Donut Operator
Drops. Oh no.
Brandon Herrera
And then he grabbed a Tommy gun.
Donut Operator
With his left hand.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, he picked his Tommy Thompson back up. It killed at least one, maybe three more Germans.
Eli Double Tap
Jeez.
Administrative Results
Do you know what he was shot in the stomach with?
Fat Electrician
I would assume an MG42.
Eli Double Tap
That 8 millimeter Mauser.
Administrative Results
Like I imagine getting hit in the stomach with an 8 millimeter Mauser like would just fold you over. But if he's still going, it's like, that's insane. Because you hear about that. Like you see that in like war shows. You hear about it. It's like were they getting shot by MP 40s or like 8 millimeter Mausers, you know, and they shrug off those wounds pretty much.
Eli Double Tap
Because that's a hefty round.
Brandon Herrera
It's a big old round.
Eli Double Tap
It's like a 30 06, but it's wider.
Administrative Results
Yeah, well, you think if you got shot in MG42, you think it would have been like zipped up. So you think it's like a car 98 if it was an 8 millimeter Mauser. If you think it was an MP4, well then he would have get zipped up too if it was MP40 in theory. Unless you're one round caught it, you.
Eli Double Tap
Know, I didn't get to ask him.
Administrative Results
But did you get to ask me?
Fat Electrician
No.
Administrative Results
I did do some deep research.
Fat Electrician
Passed away in my senior year of high school. Getting shot was badass enough. I didn't really.
Brandon Herrera
That was one of the Japanese dudes.
Fat Electrician
Yeah, that was one of 18,000. So out of the 442nd, so they, they kind of put them through in phases. They sent out a battalion as an experiment, the 100th Infantry Battalion. And then after those guys were like performing really well because I mean they were dedicated as like they were trying to prove themselves to everybody. So then they sent, then they made an entire regiment and they sent the 442nd absorbed the 100th Battalion. It became the 3rd Battalion in the 442nd Regiment. And it's the most decorated military unit in U.S. history. For that size and that tenure they had. Off the top of my head, I think it was 21 medals of honor.
Brandon Herrera
Holy.
Fat Electrician
Like, it was like out of.
Brandon Herrera
Wait, 1200 people.
Fat Electrician
18,000.
Brandon Herrera
18,000 still.
Fat Electrician
18,000 in the. In. Yeah. In two. Two years, 21 medals of honor. They had had somewhere between three and 600 purple hearts, like a ridiculous amount of Bronze Stars, a ridiculous amount of Distinguished Service Crosses, and then there was nine. I think it was 9,486 Purple Hearts. When they went in to save the lost battalion, the. The dude that was the division commander of the 36th infantry out of Texas was. He'd never been in combat, and they put him in charge of a whole division. And he was just being aggressive because he wanted to be the first guy to break into Germany. And he had a group of Texans push way farther out than they should have. And they got completely surrounded by an entire division. And they kept sending in battalions to try to break through the line to rescue these guys, and nobody could. So they called up the 442nd because they had been beating ass at this point. They sent in the 442nd trying to save 211. Texans were surrounded. They sent in the 442nd. They fought for three days and broke through the line, and they ended up taking, I think it was 800 plus casualties to save 211 dudes. But they punched through and got him.
Eli Double Tap
And correct me if I'm wrong, but I. If I remember this story correctly, I think didn't. Later on, they made all of them honorary Texas.
Fat Electrician
They're all honorary Texans because of it.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah, it's kind of neat.
Administrative Results
You think they were confused when they. A bunch of Japanese guys saved them, bro.
Fat Electrician
That's like the coolest part of the story is like, they know the first Japanese guy that like, came because it was foggy and like, from all the battle, they. I forget his name. He was a private first class, but he's a point man in I Company or K Company, IRK Company. And like, there's an account of, did they have an elf company, The Texan? That probably did. They had so many dudes out there.
Eli Double Tap
God damn it, Eli.
Fat Electrician
So like this, there's this account of like, you know, 18, 19 year old Texas Texan kid just like manning his gun on his defensive perimeter. And Japanese dude in American uniform comes walking through the smoke and they like, have this moment where they like, lock eyes and like, Texan kids, like, lip starts quivering as his eyes Start tearing up like, oh, I'm saved. And this Japanese 442nd infantry dude just looks at him like, you want to smoke? Just offers him a cigarette. I was like, that's the coolest thing on the planet.
Brandon Herrera
No, that's awesome. So, dude, those stories are wild, dude.
Fat Electrician
The shit some of those dudes did is insane.
Brandon Herrera
It's so much respect to any of those soldiers. I look at, like, anything that happened in G. What you're like, that doesn't hold a candle. I mean, a lot of respect to everything that happened in gwa, but that stuff is fucking wild because there is none of the modern tech radio suck. You're out there in the middle of nowhere. Armor is not really a thing at this.
Eli Double Tap
What is Dedication.
Brandon Herrera
The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariona. We call him Dae Dae for short. Every day, he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge. And there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we worked together. We did a good job.
Eli Double Tap
That's dedication.
Donut Operator
Find out more@fatherhood.gov brought to you by.
Eli Double Tap
The U.S. department of Health and Human Services and the ED Council points. What's crazy to me, too, is that, like, just that generation was just totally built different because you do these crazy things for, you know, three, four years, kill more people than pancreatic cancer, and then come home and spend 40 years as a postal worker. The crazy part for me, never mention it.
Fat Electrician
The crazy part for me is like, we all grew up watching savor Private Ryan. Like, we understood what they were doing. Like, if me and you went to do that, I'm not saying we'd do it better, because we wouldn't, but we would at least have an idea of what we were getting involved with.
Eli Double Tap
Right.
Fat Electrician
Imagine the perspective of you've never seen Saving Private Ryan. I'm sorry, you want how many to jump out of how many planes at the same time?
Brandon Herrera
You only know, like, a hundred people think you're in a small town like Max, and that is all the people you've ever met, known you maybe shot at, 22 to hunt. That is your life.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
Welcome to team deathmatch. With 800,000 people, this is more people.
Eli Double Tap
Than you've ever seen in one place.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Fat Electrician
Half of them are trying to kill.
Brandon Herrera
You, and then you're dropped. The Airborne's the one that I can't wrap my Head around, like, Normandy, and that shit's wild. But then airborne units getting lost behind somewhere in Germany, France, wherever.
Eli Double Tap
And you're like, well, what's crazy to me, too?
Brandon Herrera
Shooting. Asthma.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
There's a little bit of, you know, perspective. This is 40 years you're dropping in Normandy out of a fucking plane. Static line. Jumping into enemy territory under gunfire. Forty years after the Wright brothers did the first flight.
Brandon Herrera
When was a parachute created?
Donut Operator
The first parachute?
Fat Electrician
Leonardo da Vinci, I think it was.
Donut Operator
It.
Fat Electrician
Yes.
Donut Operator
Yeah. Like.
Eli Double Tap
I think, like, oh, the Eiffel Tower did it.
Brandon Herrera
Because they tried and he died. Someone jumped off the Eiffel Tower. He's like, this is how you do a parachute. And he tried. Did not work.
Eli Double Tap
You can't. Yeah. You can't win them all.
Administrative Results
Sacrifices must be made.
Brandon Herrera
The airborne Union got 50 cents extra or $1.50. What was it?
Fat Electrician
They got extra pay. I don't know how much it was at the time. I know. They got jump pay, though.
Brandon Herrera
It was like, why?
Fat Electrician
A lot of dudes volunteered for it.
Brandon Herrera
But it was like $2.50. It was double the pay, but it was not that much. When you look at it now and then, you're deploying. How low are those entries?
Eli Double Tap
I want to say. So we looked this up at one point. I'll. I'll verify. But I want to say that due to obviously extended circumstances, they had to do some of those jumps at, like. I want to say the lowest was like 300ft, which is not safe.
Donut Operator
No.
Eli Double Tap
Oh, God.
Donut Operator
Open, open.
Brandon Herrera
And then it's dragging.
Fat Electrician
The crazy part is like 250 was.
Eli Double Tap
The lowest recorded on D day.
Fat Electrician
I'm good.
Brandon Herrera
How long? Dude, your parachute takes at least a hundred feet to start.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
You're literally looking at the ground like rounds are kicking up around you.
Eli Double Tap
No, I'm sorry. With. Due to some altimeter errors, some aircraft dropping troops at 175ft.
Brandon Herrera
Building in San Antonio.
Fat Electrician
Might as well bungee jump with a knife. Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
I mean, at that point, the parachute.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Imagine looking out and they're like, go, go, go.
Fat Electrician
It's already right there.
Brandon Herrera
You're touching the top of a tree.
Administrative Results
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
The Tower of the Americas. What you're thinking of in San Antonio is 750ft.
Fat Electrician
Bro.
Eli Double Tap
You're dropping it, you know, a quarter. That.
Brandon Herrera
That's wild. Yeah, that. That is where I. So much respect to those.
Eli Double Tap
And then. And when you land, it's not over.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
You've just. You've started the match.
Donut Operator
Right, right.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, that's the worst part.
Administrative Results
Hell of A load in.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, no. Okay, well, that. I can't wait for that one. I'll watch the. Out of that. Jesus. Pretty good. What are your guys's. Do you do any history at all?
Donut Operator
Yeah, I mean, like the history, a lot of stuff is like older history. Like I do like the hoplite warfare, like the Hoplite heresy, where it's like the orthodox versus the heretical view. Whereas far as how they engaged in the battle, right.
Brandon Herrera
You're saying a lot of words, so not many of us are going to.
Donut Operator
Finally, the guy. The gun talk is making me insecure. So try and make like some Astros. Like, what are you guys talking about?
Brandon Herrera
I don't get it.
Donut Operator
Like Captain America. I understood that reference. So the idea was that like the orthodox view is that the phalanx, which is like the Spartan, like you think Greek warfare, you have large shields and it literally is just a pushing match, right? So the idea is that they would go in and you would push, push, push, and you would get some casualties that way. The heretical view is more that there would be a line, like kind of like a deep. Like you'd have a small, like 20 foot or 30 foot line where the lines they would kind of set up and then people would like do challenges in there and then they would engage and push and kill and back off because you're. You get so exhausted so quickly, right?
Brandon Herrera
What's the challenge?
Donut Operator
So, like people would literally like run out there. Like, the bravest ones would literally just start killing each other. Like, think of it like playing dodgeball back in the day, right? You have some people that hang out in the back and some people that get up to the front to actually engage. So literally there was like individual skirmishes in the front where people are like. Because you hear all the stories, the heroical stories that people fighting in single combat, it's literally because you had some dudes that were like the most brazen or brave would kind of come out and they would meet each other and they would just engage and then the large bodies would move in and then they would disengage and you have some jab goblins thrown. You have a sling go through there and then they would engage again. So it was like, it was like a tide of battle, right? It wasn't just a single push. It would tide in and out and you'd have to recover, move back, and then the most aggressive ones would stay out and still engage or try to kill some stragglers or grab some prisoners, and then they would kind of come back in Their lines.
Fat Electrician
I've always wanted to, like, have a skit where I recreate the movie 300, but from the perspective of the guy at the very back of the phalanx.
Donut Operator
What's going on?
Fat Electrician
Just like, what the Is going on there for an hour and a half, and then they die.
Brandon Herrera
You're faking it. Yeah, yeah.
Donut Operator
Yeah. Oh, you're lifting.
Eli Double Tap
How's everybody doing up there? O. I'm starting to be able to see the enemy. So not well, getting closer.
Brandon Herrera
That's when the battle's over. You pour water on yourself.
Donut Operator
You're like.
Administrative Results
I imagine just get bored profession.
Donut Operator
Oh.
Administrative Results
He was like, oh, I gotta check my fist.
Donut Operator
But I can't imagine. Can you imagine, like, the, like, the. The psychological warfare? Like, that would be that you're literally like, if you guys ever played football or any sport, like, you see a new team, you don't know who these dudes are, and you're like, all right. And you see, I'm gonna challenge that guy. I'm gonna fight this guy. But it's like, that guy's gonna murder me. And I can see his eyeballs. Like, I can't imagine being shoulder to shoulder with someone that's literally trying to kill you in lines like that, to me, is just a different type of thinking altogether, where it's just.
Fat Electrician
I bet the talking was awesome.
Eli Double Tap
I believe it.
Donut Operator
This close to someone who's trying to murder you. And what are you gonna say to them?
Eli Double Tap
Stabbing someone with a. Your mother joke. At the same time, you bring up.
Administrative Results
An interesting point where it's like, you playing sports, you don't know these guys. But it's like, I remember playing football and I would play the same guys because, like, you go up throughout the years, you're playing the same guys every year. So imagine, like, these Greek city states warring. They, like, see the same guys. I've been meaning to kill this guy. Mykonos, you son of a.
Eli Double Tap
This is my second time trying to kill dipshit Ecclesias.
Administrative Results
I'm going to get you this time.
Eli Double Tap
To your point, though, as far as, like, you know, not knowing and. And. And whatnot, we have so much information nowadays. Like Modern Warfare.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Realistically, it's like, all right, I've seen your parade on Instagram. Like, I know what you guys are. You're using this kind of tank. You're using this whatever. Back in the day, you're just a peasant from God knows where. And, like, what the fuck is an elephant?
Donut Operator
Yeah. It's like, literally, yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Where did. Where did they get that from, like, I've never seen the Mediterranean bitch.
Donut Operator
Yeah. I remember reading something where it was like they were doing, like. Like the physical requirements for, like, the. The Levy soldiers. Like, they had to, like, jump like this. Like, they would space out spears and they had to, like, jump over the spears. They're like, good job. Here you go. You're set. You're done. Like, do what? Like, they would have the spears just laid out, like, on the ground, like hopscotch almost. And it's like they hop through it and it's like, you can do it. Good job there. You're set to go. There's your military service.
Brandon Herrera
What's the elementary school thing where you get tested when you're a little kid?
Donut Operator
Oh, the presidential.
Brandon Herrera
See if you get a spear or not?
Donut Operator
No, I don't think it was that. I think it was.
Eli Double Tap
Was.
Donut Operator
I don't think it was that strict. I think it was more than that.
Brandon Herrera
That's way too.
Donut Operator
Yeah. Underfed peasants here. We gotta.
Brandon Herrera
They would jump over spears to see if you could throw them or not.
Donut Operator
No, no, it was just like. No, it was literally just like they would set up, like, a very little obstacle course in order for you to be qualified for, like, some sort of service. Like the Landerschnit. I forget. That's the other one they had. They were like. They were really good mercenaries, but, like, they had. Had the guys who used this vihander, which are those massive swords with, like, the curves that were like pike breakers. And they had the pikemen. So, like, the pikeman to be in it, like, they had much less strict physical conditions. Because really, you're just like. If you're a pikeman, you're not engaging much in there. You just got 20 foot sphere and you're like, all right, stay back. You know.
Administrative Results
Wait, is this. Did we jump to medieval Europe or Renaissance?
Donut Operator
Yeah, I'm going all over the place. I'm sorry. Yeah.
Administrative Results
Are you talking about the Landsheck Pikeman?
Donut Operator
Yeah, the Landshack. Yeah.
Administrative Results
God damn. I know.
Eli Double Tap
Shit.
Fat Electrician
Everything before 1776 was a mistake.
Donut Operator
No, no. Once gunpowder came out, gunpowder ruined everything.
Brandon Herrera
So when would they use.
Eli Double Tap
Like, there's a lot of third world countries that agree with that.
Donut Operator
Oh, I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh.
Brandon Herrera
Take it back. Play that laughing rewind, man.
Eli Double Tap
Life was rad before gunpowder blows.
Administrative Results
Dang China, man had to make fireworks, man.
Fat Electrician
Just working in, like, being. Working in trades and, like, just seeing new tools and new technologies come out to make the job easier. And how much pushback and resistance and talking. There was from that older generation of tradesmen that are like, you'd have older dudes that would like, talk if you liked using an impact instead of a drill.
Eli Double Tap
What?
Fat Electrician
Just like people do not like changing and they'll just talk anything new that's more efficient and they'll like make fun of you for it. Like, oh, you got. You got soft hands. You're using power tools like that 24 7. I can't imagine the talking. Oh, you're going to use that magic black powder stuff. Pansy ass. Why don't you stab a guy the in the face like a man?
Administrative Results
Like, how much money I spent on this armor?
Fat Electrician
You're.
Eli Double Tap
You're gay.
Donut Operator
I'm cooler than you.
Eli Double Tap
Cuz wasn't there like that kind of push back? I. I might be making this up entirely, but when they transitioned from bows to crossbows, right.
Donut Operator
So there was like, I mean, you can talk on this too. But really it was not necessarily a big pushback.
Eli Double Tap
Oh, Edmund's here.
Donut Operator
No, it was more like there was. There was an idea that like they said the pope made crossbows legal and things like that because it was too powerful and stuff like that. But really there wasn't a big gap between the performance of it. It was just the amount of training required that was so minimal that you could arm people so quickly and have a similar result. But overall, it would be outpaced and outperformed by a good war bow or a longbow on almost all counts, except for the fact that it was easier to mass produce, easier to train like a bow. The. There was an old train. An old saying, like, you want a good longbowman train, start with the grandfather. So it's literally like a generational training to be able to be able to functionally use a weapon of war that can actually do damage downrange. As opposed to crossbow, which had very similar one to ones, but it would just take a weekend. You know, you get someone to bow a crossbow, it's like, all right, let's do it.
Fat Electrician
I didn't have to change your bone density on a. You good at it.
Donut Operator
So it's like that problem. It's like war. Patricia.
Eli Double Tap
Click.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, he walks. Nomu next.
Donut Operator
Yes.
Eli Double Tap
He can jump over the spears.
Administrative Results
Damn, this guy's good.
Eli Double Tap
Never seen someone hopscotch like that before.
Brandon Herrera
That's where hopscotch came from.
Administrative Results
Oh, my God. What if it did come?
Donut Operator
I've never. He did the one foot thing.
Eli Double Tap
Holy Achilles reborn. Welcome back, Brad Pitt.
Brandon Herrera
The crossbows, even those you're Just drawing back with the giant metal lever.
Donut Operator
I mean there's a few different.
Fat Electrician
He's got biceps.
Donut Operator
Yeah. Like the windless, which is like. That's a 1200 pound crossbow which is like, you know it's going to be steel, but steel is horribly inefficient as like to generate momentum. 1200 pound crossbow. Steel's not going to transfer as well as if you had like a well made composite bow. So if like you have the bows of the Eastern Empire, Ottoman bows, Turkish bows that are composite that have like tendons and horse and things that take like a year to make. They have those, those can go. They've had shots up to like 700 meters. That's like the world record, I think for an actual bow. It's a composite bow with, with a recurve and that's like the world record. But of course. Yeah. No legit. Yeah. So like you can look it up and. But they have. It's very. It's made for flight. It's more of sport than warfare because arrows are light. They're not going to do damage on the way down. They're small.
Fat Electrician
I wouldn't want to get hit.
Donut Operator
True. But it's more like don't even worry about.
Brandon Herrera
700 meters. Insane.
Donut Operator
Yeah, Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
I don't think I want to be hit by anything that has the ability to go 700 more meters.
Administrative Results
Good God.
Brandon Herrera
That is wild. Did you get into any sort of sword stuff?
Donut Operator
No, I do a lot of that. Like I'm not like trying. I haven't done Hema or anything like that. That's like the sword style everything. And so I do a lot more stuff with like less training weapons. So I use a lot of warhammers, war picks, blunt type damage. Because I feel like that's just like a lot of archers would have like an ax or a warhammer or a maul or things like that. So it's not like this. It's not as much finesse but you just freaking nail some armor.
Eli Double Tap
Responsible.
Fat Electrician
Sniper rifle and a shotgun.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
A scalpel and a machete. If we're sponsoring anything, we got to get this guy some ballistic dummy heads because I want to see what a battle, a warhammer does to that. That would be so satisfying.
Fat Electrician
I just did one ballistic high speed out here.
Donut Operator
So, dude, I've been doing some of the. I do a lot of the. The bone. Right. I'll buy like beef ribs or femurs and things like that to test it out. Because it's just like, that's the ballistic dummies are expensive, but even that, which is like, the warhammers and things. I had one just recently where I had layered. I had. I had brigandine armor, which is 1.5 millimeter chainmail, and I had a padded game. It's in. And then I had beef ribs behind it. And I just got a new war war ax. Basically a battle ax. And so it's Orleans battle ax. And so I took it with. Got a really sharp pointed point on the back, and it went through everything and split the bone. It actually hit it right in the actual rib. It went through and in. So it was through, like, three layers of armor in through the actual bone, which is way thicker than human and, like, in the back. And I was like, that.
Eli Double Tap
God damn, that's brutal. I wish there was a way. I know that this would be logistically kind of difficult, but I wish there was a way to get with ballistic dummy labs and get them to do, like, a 50% larger head so you could do the David and Goliath shot.
Donut Operator
Oh, I know. Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah. That would be gnarly.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Administrative Results
All right, guys, we got the Nephilim bust here.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Abomination from fallen angels, my son.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Giants.
Fat Electrician
Have you seen the. It's almost. It looks like. It looks like competitive paintball, but it's archery with, like, super blooded arrows. Have you ever done that?
Donut Operator
No, I've never done that.
Fat Electrician
I don't want to see you do that.
Donut Operator
Yeah, yeah. No, I've never done that.
Fat Electrician
That. It's like, you know, like, paintball with the inflatable, like, obstacles and stuff. It's one of those, but they have, like, little bows, and it's like a Nerf. It's like a Nerf ball on it. So you're playing.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, but they don't go.
Donut Operator
It's like, going, like. Probably like.
Administrative Results
It's like I went to a pickup game with my warbell and then.
Donut Operator
Yeah, they can't call the police after I killed three people. They're like, I gotta go.
Fat Electrician
I gotta go catch a plane back home. I'll see you guys later. Later. It was nice to meet you.
Donut Operator
Great to meet you too, man.
Fat Electrician
Sure.
Brandon Herrera
We're gonna go kiss him goodbye.
Eli Double Tap
That titty's not gonna pop itself.
Fat Electrician
Goodbye.
Administrative Results
I want caffeine.
Donut Operator
My slingers. My slingers. Give me the Crean Archers.
Eli Double Tap
That sounds like a slur.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, you made that a slur. Everyone's like, yo, what's up?
Eli Double Tap
You gotta go. The soft swing slingers moved into the neighborhood.
Administrative Results
You can't culturally appropriate the slingers work.
Brandon Herrera
You want some merch?
Donut Operator
That will do.
Brandon Herrera
Good.
Donut Operator
You're welcome.
Brandon Herrera
You're riding in an Apollo Chrysler 300. Actually, Chrysler 300 out the window.
Eli Double Tap
All my slingers hate Goliath.
Donut Operator
I'm here.
Brandon Herrera
I'm here now.
Donut Operator
I'm committed. I throw in my lot with you bastards.
Brandon Herrera
Well, Nick is gone. And now we're gonna learn about this because he had. You were on a movie set helping.
Donut Operator
Yeah, me, David. Yes. So back in May, I actually went to Greece for three weeks because Amazon had the serious house of David. And so the stunt coordinator found me on Instagram and he reached out. He's like, hey. We were making a show and he couldn't talk to me about the time. He's like, would you be interested in teaching someone how to use a sling? I was like, sure. And then time went by and then I got an email, like, because there's so many. Like, the. The short time I had with that little Hollywood thing. There's like assistants. Assistant to assistants. Like, I never knew who I was talking to. And they're like, hey, the producers in Hollywood, can you drive down and meet them to go over? You know, what you might be able to do? I'm like, sure. So I drive down to. I drive down to LA and I bring the slings with me and I meet with this producer and we walk down the marina and I show him how it works. I got some rocks and just kind of toss him out there. And then we have lunch together. He's like, yeah, we'd love to have you out. Like, how long can you commit? And I was like, I got two to three weeks max. Like, that's as long as I want to be with my family like that. That's, you know, I'm not trying to chase a Hollywood dream. I'm not going to be an actor.
Brandon Herrera
It depends on how many zeros.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
I guess technically, when Tina wife.
Donut Operator
I changed my mind.
Eli Double Tap
The idea that you don't even need to be like, he didn't even need to include the TV show part. You're just. Somebody hits you up. Hey, would you like to teach someone how to use a sling? You're like, fuck, yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Two to three weeks, max.
Donut Operator
This is again, this is like a hobby passion thing. I don't care about any of that. So they actually flew me out to Greece and I got to. They. They had this. They had the two different departments. One was the stunt studio, and that's what had. Like, all they see in the movies, the mats and the boxes right where the People like, they kind of section out where the set's going to be when they actually get there with the boxes and they kind of do the choreography. So I met the stunt crew, and they were super cool guys. And then I met the kid who's playing David Michael. He was a great kid. Like, young little kid. And so I worked with him for like, two, three weeks, just trained him how to use the sling, you know. So that was great. And then I met that big Martin Ford who played Goliath. He's that really big English guy with tats all up on his neck. He's just some big, like, six, eight bodybuilder guy.
Brandon Herrera
Is he in any other movies?
Donut Operator
He's been like, in a lot of movies. He plays the villain in a lot of movies, I think. Think. So I was working with him, like, spear throwing and everything like that, because Goliath had spears. So, like, how to. How to get that going? Because I do that, the javelin and things like that as well. Here we have a couple different lengths of sling, and so I have a longer one and a shorter one. And so they would carry the ones harder.
Brandon Herrera
I'm assuming the longer one would.
Donut Operator
Would be able to toss a larger projectile further, right? Different ranges, just like anything, right? You have a longer. You have a longer sling, you have more centrifugal force. So you can actually to move a projectile further. So that's gonna be like early mortar fire, so to speak. You can cast a longer rock, lead, or clay further down the line. So that's gonna be longer range than medium range is a medium sling. And then shorter range is for shorter range. And so they carry. They have a waist head, and they'd have one in their hand. So they carry three different lengths of sling of cord to basically do that. And there's even like an old adage, because they were so good at the bar slingers, like, they were basically always mercenaried out. Like, even if they got conquered. Then the Romans were like, all right, because they were Carthage first, and then Roman beat Cartha. And they're like, all right, you guys are with us now. They're like, all right, cool. So they just kind of hopped around as mercenary forces.
Eli Double Tap
What were they called again?
Donut Operator
The baler slingers.
Eli Double Tap
That sounds like a dope sports team.
Donut Operator
Yeah, that is.
Eli Double Tap
What size were the projectiles like?
Donut Operator
So it would be. So the Romans used lead, and that was about 3 ounces of lead. So not super massive, but lead's very dense. So 3 ounces of leads, about that big.
Eli Double Tap
I was like, show them filming with.
Donut Operator
Yeah, yeah. Measurement.
Eli Double Tap
Ounces. Of course.
Donut Operator
Of course. Obviously.
Administrative Results
Obviously.
Donut Operator
Yeah, totally. But then you would have larger ones would be like eight, like when I sing like 8oz rocks or something. Those are about that big. So that's going to do that sounds.
Eli Double Tap
Like you're a drug dealer. I know. Talking like qps.
Administrative Results
He's a real ass slinger.
Donut Operator
Now you're committed to. To it. You got carried forward.
Administrative Results
I'm a dude playing dude.
Brandon Herrera
Slingers.
Donut Operator
And so then I was even.
Eli Double Tap
You get half an energy drink in this guy.
Administrative Results
Oh, good heavens.
Donut Operator
Starting off the reservation, I was talking to Brandon too about the. The different. The Romans would actually drill holes in the lead shot because it would whistle. And so I've done that with some fishing lead. Usually fishing weights. Those are about 3 ounces. You drill a hole in it and you can like half drill or all the way through. And it makes this hiss noise like a. As it goes through. And they would use that to keep people in place. So if they had shields, it's not going to go through wood. Right. But it's going to keep people pinned down because of that noise flying over. So they would be able to keep people in position as the slingers go. So every Roman legionnaire would carry a sling and they would use those to keep people pinned down. So the flanking. The people wouldn't feel a flank out because they would just say you that noise going over your head.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, it's not different than like a paintball or anything flying by. Yeah, exactly. Like I don't want to move out.
Donut Operator
Right.
Brandon Herrera
Because something's flying by.
Donut Operator
Exactly. Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
But the holes drilled specifically so it made more noise. Just like totally just suppression.
Donut Operator
Yes. Yeah, exactly. Fire.
Eli Double Tap
Early Jericho whistles on the German plane. The Stukas.
Brandon Herrera
When you get shot at, I mean you know distance because it's like whistle. It's not cracking. If it's cracking, it's very close. That means it's like.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Cover, concealment. Huge difference.
Donut Operator
And even that like because I've tested it like you get wooden shields against it and it makes this God awful thud when it hits the wood. It's not going through wood but it's going to be like this really just force reckoning. Boom. Like thunder when it hits. And they even have the. There was even documents of like the, the surgeons, the Roman surgeons when they would face these people that use it, they would actually have a specific device to pull the lead out of your skin because it was actually. It would actually go into the body because it was moving at Such high velocity, 150 miles per hour is what they get it to. It actually embed in the body. So they'd have a specific tool to remove it.
Eli Double Tap
It's called a knife.
Donut Operator
Yeah. Surgical tool.
Eli Double Tap
Yeah, Just scoop.
Donut Operator
Sport.
Eli Double Tap
The tool to remove the lead weights was also good for eating soup. How would. How would they actually do that? Like, what was the deal?
Donut Operator
They'd have, like, they would be able to inside. So it'd come in and pull it out a little bit. So they didn't. They don't actually have pictures of what it looked like. They just referenced that they had a specific tool to remove the lead from the body. When it would actually punch into it.
Brandon Herrera
It'S like, which was the king or prince that had the arrow?
Donut Operator
Henry V. Yeah. That would actually drill into the arrow and open up to pull it out. They have to go through, like the actual shafts to get it in there.
Brandon Herrera
And at that time it was like, oh, this is extremely. What would be the word? Like, revolutionary. Yeah. Cutting edge. To remove this. And then you look at it, you're like, oh, it sucks. They didn't even have numbing cream.
Eli Double Tap
It was just like.
Brandon Herrera
You ever had whiskey.
Eli Double Tap
Here's some sauce that some gypsy lady.
Donut Operator
Cooked up for you. Here you go.
Brandon Herrera
So they just scoop them out?
Donut Operator
Yeah, yeah.
Eli Double Tap
For those of us who don't know the backstory on that. You said Henry V. Yeah. Shot in the face.
Donut Operator
Yeah, yeah. It was hit in the face. He must. Because they would like. And I. I have like in. If we do this, we go big. You know, it's like with the armored combat, you don't realize how. How much oxygen it deprivates from you with. To have a metal over your face because you get a CO2 buildup.
Eli Double Tap
Right.
Donut Operator
So that's what all the holes were for. And so a lot of times during a charge or when they're giving orders, they'd lift up the. The face plate so you'd be able to breathe. Because the early Corinthian design, like the Spartan helmet and the. With this comment is it would actually sit up on the head so you could have it up and it would rest on your head like a hat. And then they created the visor so you could pop it up. And then like those in front would give orders to things. You'd pop it up, and then when you do charge, drop it down and go down. But if you're issuing orders or yelling or trying to catch your breath, you'd have to pop that visor up to get your breath because it really does limit the amount of oxygen you can intake when you have something covering majority of your face.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, yeah, it's a gas mask. Everyone knows those.
Donut Operator
Yeah, yeah, there you go. Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Gas mask. Run. You're like, yeah, we'll keep it.
Donut Operator
You just crack it slightly.
Brandon Herrera
Sucks dick.
Eli Double Tap
Just so you know, the hair is not poisoned, because I'd be dead. Hopefully it's not neurotoxin.
Brandon Herrera
How about just a little CS smidgen? So you did that and then what movie trained that individual up? Did you just do three weeks?
Donut Operator
Yeah, yeah, I just did three weeks with him. And the kid was. Was great. He took it very seriously. He'd go down to the beach and practice. Like he was committed to it, you know, and so he got really good in that short time. I was genuinely impressed. So I would. I would do it up. Like, if you've ever boxed, like, you'd, you know, you have shadow combinations. 1, 2, 4, 6, right? Something like that. So it's like 1, 2. So I'd call out different sling styles. Basically have a big bag of tennis balls when you were in there, and I'd call out like 1 and 2 and 6, and he would have different styles he would run through. So as he got really good at it, we would run through those different styles.
Eli Double Tap
What are the different. Like, not to go too in the weeds? No, the different styles. Because, like, I. I just assume it's all pretty similar, right?
Brandon Herrera
No.
Donut Operator
So there's quite a few different ones. And a lot of it was kind of you had to create, like, we had styles and then flashy styles. Like Hollywood, right? You think of, like, you know, like the. The jumping throws and like the spinning throws. And so we had a couple flashy ones, which was, like, when you spin around and move it like that, if you talk about that Spaniard, the guy who does the. Who dinged that. Who dinged that metal pot?
Eli Double Tap
Oh, right.
Donut Operator
Yeah, because he does. He does that spin style. Like, he flips around and does that spy up to get a lot more minute. But it looks very cinematic for the views. Yes. So the standard one is just like a. You don't want to. You don't spin it too much, and you. If you bring it over your head, it's really just to rest, and then you explode out on that last one. So it's like. It's just to keep them. The energy keeps the rock in the. The sling, and you explode and you sling it down there. And so there's a couple different ones, a figure eight where you kind of come around back and up and sling it that way. You can kind of come behind and then come flip it over the front and then go that way. And so there's like, there's. There's quite a few different kinds. And you can have one where you rest it at the side. And then when you're ready, you explode out over the top of the head. So those are the ones we were working on. So, like, there's a quick shot, which is just one. It's just. You don't even. You don't even rotate it. You just snap it over the top. And that's usually the most accurate because you don't have to, like when you're spinning it. You really have to calculate in your head when the release point is to kind of figure out, okay, I'm letting go. I'm letting go of it here. As opposed to just like a snap where it's a lot easier to kind of get it down line. So those are good for closer range, but if you want more momentum, more inertia, you generally need to come over. And then that last one, you're really going to open up and extend it out so you have as much momentum. Momentum as possible. So it's extending your arm, like by double, right? So just think of a pitcher, it.
Eli Double Tap
Was just gonna the length of their.
Donut Operator
Arm by two, so you have that extra momentum for a heavier projectile to go. Just, you know, 120, 130.
Administrative Results
Real quick. Real quick. I feel like we're a group of kids that just got old, and we're listening to the best kid in the group that can throw the rocks the hardest.
Eli Double Tap
It's that. It's that caveman instinct too. Like I just said right before we came. Came or I came on, I was like, dude, I bet because he was saying people carried around a pouch full of the stones.
Donut Operator
Yes.
Eli Double Tap
And I was like, I bet the day before battle, just finding the perfect.
Brandon Herrera
Stones had to have showing those off to your friends.
Donut Operator
Like, you're like.
Administrative Results
You're like snagging a stone.
Eli Double Tap
Check this one out.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, dude, you see Bradstone?
Administrative Results
Dude, Bradstone's so cool.
Brandon Herrera
Came with a hole.
Eli Double Tap
This looks like he would up an ottoman.
Administrative Results
Turns out rock fights when you're a kid is just blood memory for being a sling.
Brandon Herrera
Do you have a maybe that's our word.
Donut Operator
A bedside. I have my concealed carry sling.
Brandon Herrera
Yeah, dude, your bedside sling. Someone breaks in, you're like, babe, watch, babe.
Donut Operator
My wife is entirely unamused by all of my nerdiness. She's like, you such A nerd. Yes. You married me. Except you made this bed.
Administrative Results
Don't worry, it balances out with your looks. You can get away with it.
Eli Double Tap
I was thinking about this earlier. I'm like, he looks like the gay love child of me and John Lovell.
Administrative Results
That's accurate. Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Sorry, John.
Brandon Herrera
Collateral General for sword combat, do you just go for like the. What is your favorite style? So you were talking about like the huge. Was Zoe Winders. Those are massive. Like you grab six foot.
Donut Operator
Yeah. And they'd have like the ricotta which is like an unsharpened part. So you could grab on that top part there as well so you can have that leverage. But those are like momentum weapons too though. Yeah. And they're like pike busters. So you have those 20. Those were meant to break up the pipe because you have those 20 foot pikes and those could chop through that wood to kind of close that distance when you're basically trying to get in that warfare. But for me, I, I mean like I said, I'm not trained in swords so I just like in archers too that a lot of times it would be like a maul or a warhammer or a pick because that's going to do way better against plate because it has that blunt damage. And so as armor got better in like the 15th, 16th century. Right. The. The swords would be much narrower to kind of punch through male. And then you'd have the Rondell dagger, which is what's going to do the finishing move. Because it would engage in a clench. They'd go down and that's going to be the thing that's going to get those weak points because you can't. You can't thrust through well made plate.
Brandon Herrera
A lot of people that. And that's the thing. We've talked about it. It's weapons went to like a scimitar or a. Was it the fencer saber?
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Googling how to be advertisement for some gay French sword. But I just love how they like armor got better. So they're just like brute force parry.
Donut Operator
This literally like concussive force is what's gonna do it. So I think that's, you know, it's like either you were extremely skilled, you know, fencer or you were just like brute force damage. Or you get three dudes, you take a knight down and you hit the weak points and that's how most of them went down. Like in Azincour. Right. It's like it wasn't the archers that did it. It would take them off of their horses. It Would take the horses out of the equation to disrupt the charge. And then the knights lose like 50 of their efficiency if they're not mounted because they're much slower.
Eli Double Tap
You lost me on that a little bit. How are they taking out the horses?
Donut Operator
So basically the, the reason why the, the warbow was so efficient was the long distance. And for a charge to work well, or cavalry charge, they need to be shoulder, shoulder, elbow to elbow, knee to knee. It needs to be a close knee knit formation for a charge to have good impact damage. And so if you hit horses from a distance, it's going to spook the horses. The horses may die or fall and it's going to cause them to fall over. It's going to cause, you know, an escalation of the, the charge to be disrupted. And so when the knights lose the ability to be on their horse, then the archers and this like the forces, you have the advantage because you'll be able to swarm. Right. Just think of anything. It's like three people versus one dude in armor. If they're in the melee and the craziness they can, can pin him down and then they're going to have the daggers to basically go through the eyes, the neck, the underarms, where the chainmail is to really be able to finish that person off. So it's like brutal. Brutal. Right. Like just think of going out with like four dudes on top of you. Like not the eye, not the eye.
Eli Double Tap
Saturday night.
Donut Operator
Four dude.
Brandon Herrera
Oh no, my chain nails up in back there.
Eli Double Tap
Welcome to Unsubscribe.
Administrative Results
Try to buy combat prepared.
Donut Operator
But I, I wasn't prepared.
Eli Double Tap
Even just pragmatically I was thinking it's a very funny mental image where let's say you got a knight, full armor, doing cavalry charge. How would you rather fight in full armor, fresh and ready to go, or having just been knocked off a horse and had to run 700 yards in full armor.
Donut Operator
Yeah, that would be brutal. And I think the thing that, the thing that would work would be that the French were really committed to the horse, the cavalry. But if you had, they would separate. You had hard targets and soft targets. So, so hard targets were armored knights and soft targets were the horses because even they had the catch in the front. So the horses had that catch, which is usually, sometimes it had mail or things. But they weren't completely armored so you hit the flanks. But if you had hard targets advancing, even with the bow, if they had their helmet down and they're moving, they would still be able to move forward relatively well. Because it's not going to go through armor, especially at an arc, right. You're going to have to really hit those weak points. But it was a volume fire. So if you think of, of 5,000 archers and they could do 10 to 12aminute, right. And they would do that. So you'd have possibly 10,000 arrows in the air at a time. Because you think about the, the volley. So they, it's like an arrow flight at like 300 yards is probably 10 seconds. So you could have two sets.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, that's blotting out the sun.
Administrative Results
Right?
Donut Operator
Literally it's like 10,000 at a time. And there would be another round behind it.
Eli Double Tap
So you're firing the second arrow before the first one lands.
Donut Operator
Right? Right, exactly.
Eli Double Tap
That's crazy.
Donut Operator
Yeah. And they're. And it's not like again, it's not a small arrow. It's like it's 1500 grain, 600 grain, massive thing, half inch ass shaft that's just really coming down. So it would really only a fraction of need to hit the part to hit the actual weak spot for it to actually be usable to disrupt or cause mental, you know, exhaustion as you're moving forward.
Eli Double Tap
What is she, are we talking about?
Donut Operator
So this was like 14th, 15th century. And then after the 16th century, the archers, you know, they got a little more armor and things. But then after that then gunpowder came around and so the, the armor started to change where plate became less usable and also the. You lost so many skilled archers that you weren't able to replenish those ranks. The same with the slinger. Right? Because it's a skilled, it's like a skilled craft. And so as you lose the people, you can't replenish them. And that's the great thing about a crossbow. We talked about this when we did the cross crossbow video, how it's like crossbow Dutman dies like here, take this. Yeah, right. And they can do it. But if you have a heavy duty warbow, you pass the guy next to you, he's like, what am I gonna do with this? Right. Yeah. You can't put it on your. Yeah.
Administrative Results
Become the human ballista.
Brandon Herrera
Connor's like, I got you, bro.
Eli Double Tap
Yes. I'm gonna die. Yes. We're swinging it. This is now my melee bow.
Administrative Results
Damn you, sir.
Eli Double Tap
May not have the skill to shoot an arrow, but I can hit you with a stick.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
Isn't that where kind of where like pikeman essentially? I mean obviously it was to stop like cavalry, but it's way easier to just give a fucking medieval peasant A sharpened stick.
Donut Operator
Oh, yeah. I mean, spears were like the king. They are considered the king of weapons. They existed like the earliest. The earliest reference of a spear was like the Clacton spear, I think. And that was like 400,000 BCE and that was just. It was just 400,000. Yes, 400,000. Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
And so when we switched from monkeys.
Brandon Herrera
To slightly smarter, we just got fired.
Administrative Results
Human Covenant War.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Okay, thank you.
Donut Operator
But it was literally just to sharpen. They would harden it.
Administrative Results
My bad. Sorry, guys.
Donut Operator
You could harden the. The wood by. By heating it, right? Like, it would. It would ash. So they would make it. And so it would be like a. A stronger step, but they wouldn't have like, stone or anything. But that was like. They have a record of that as being an actual offensive or hunting weapon at that time. And it basically went all the way up until like the 18th, 19th century. Right. Spears were still common. Like, halberds were still things that were very much in use at that time. And it was. Took a long time for it to phase out even bayonets, like an extension of a sphere, you know, that's the halberds.
Brandon Herrera
They just started spear. And it's like, oh, let's just add.
Donut Operator
Yes.
Brandon Herrera
Hard point at the end so you can swing it to get through armor or sharp points or hooks to bring somebody up over.
Eli Double Tap
You've all heard the expression that every weapon is either a stick or a rock. Over the course of all human history, guns just throw rocks faster than a sling can. Yeah, we just got that skill tree upgraded.
Administrative Results
New faster rocks.
Brandon Herrera
Infomercials back in the day.
Eli Double Tap
100 million dead. Johnson and Johnson, a family company.
Brandon Herrera
Brought.
Eli Double Tap
To you by Raytheon.
Brandon Herrera
What? So what is your favorite. Is it during, like, David Goliath era, your favorite style of combat or formation?
Donut Operator
Yeah. I think the coolest to me is that. Is that time. Because. Because like I was telling you earlier, it's like there was. There was a moment where the slings would outrange the bows at the time. Right. The slinger could throw three to 400 meters. And at that time.
Eli Double Tap
Dude, you gotta make a shirt.
Donut Operator
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon Herrera
You gotta make a slinger. I. I'm struggling. Getting giggling made me giggle.
Eli Double Tap
The teacher's gonna have to separate us. Y' all beat a bunch of puck.
Brandon Herrera
Ass.
Administrative Results
Out to the real OG sling over here. Quit yanking a man's sling.
Brandon Herrera
Listen up. Just say that.
Donut Operator
Okay, Go on.
Brandon Herrera
Your favorite era.
Eli Double Tap
Outranging bows of the time.
Donut Operator
Yeah. So and so it was like the idea was that they. There was a thought that even like, there wasn't good, there wasn't good wood on the islands in order to make a bow. So they had to be proficient in the sling. And there's like old, old anecdotal stories that like, even at a youth, at a young age, like the kids, before they could eat there, they would put a piece of bread up on a stick and before they could eat the bread, they had to hit it with a stone. Right. So it literally was something that was taught from youth to adulthood. And so even me training for a long time is like a pale representation of the power and the accuracy they had. And the Greeks would set it up on the beach, they'd have these rings set up at different, varying distances. And they have to make it and thread it through that, that ring with the sling. And so it's really just so cool because it's just a rope and a rock. Right. Like the ingenuity of people where it's like, I'm going to take a string and a rock and I'm going to make it something that can murk you from 120 yards away. Right. So.
Eli Double Tap
Which is insane because, like in my mind, coming from like the firearm space.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
There's no sights.
Donut Operator
Right.
Eli Double Tap
You're just like, fuck it. That seems right.
Donut Operator
Right, right.
Eli Double Tap
That's absurd.
Donut Operator
And of all the things I. I've learned, like the amount of stones that I've thrown is, is absurd. Like I'd, I'd have to tape up my fingers with athletic tape because you get blistered all over. Right. And so just being able to get it to go in a slight direction of where I want it to go took ages just to figure out. I want to go straight, not left, not right. Just like I want to hit it 10 by 10 target that's like 20 yards away. Took forever to figure out just on when to release it.
Brandon Herrera
And you're, you're saying, so people will do 120 yards and they could do that to.
Donut Operator
Right. Accurately. Right. That's. I mean, again, think we struck like.
Brandon Herrera
A nine millimeter pistol. You could. Most people aren't. Are hitting 120 yards.
Eli Double Tap
No. God, no.
Donut Operator
Yeah. And again, it's. When you get into the weeds of the history, it's like you hear a lot of things and it's like, okay, maybe they did that, but really most anyone can hit an army from 120 to 200 yards away. Right. That's the point.
Eli Double Tap
They're shoulder to shoulder.
Donut Operator
Yeah. And even the war bows, like, even in medieval Europe, they had hunting Bows and warbows. Warbow is like a modern term, but it's anything over 80 pounds. And so they wouldn't hunt with something like that because to be able to aim well with something that's 160 pounds, like your body is under such duress that you can hit a target with it, but anyone can hit an army at that distance as opposed to like a pinpoint accurate shot. You need time to be able to really settle in and aim, but your body's basically wanting to let go the moment you get it back. So it's much harder to aim those at like a pinpoint spot when it's that heavy of a draw weight, as opposed to just lobbing it downrange to just disrupt an army.
Eli Double Tap
I'm glad you brought that up. I was actually about to ask, do you do any sort of bow hunting?
Donut Operator
No, I've never actually bow hunted.
Eli Double Tap
Really?
Donut Operator
No. Yeah, the first and never. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Eli Double Tap
I mean, no offense by this, but you look like the kind of guy who would walk out into the forest and hand feed baby deer.
Brandon Herrera
I was, yeah. What he said.
Fat Electrician
Yeah.
Donut Operator
No offense by this.
Administrative Results
You look at the guy that would order edamame for the table.
Brandon Herrera
I got this. I got this.
Donut Operator
Edamame. Yeah, yeah, Exactly. Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
What an oddly specific dig.
Administrative Results
The ladies love it.
Donut Operator
Yes. With some soy bacon.
Eli Double Tap
I didn't mean it like that. Seemed like a kind, gentle human being, like a Disney princess. Everybody's sucking you off and then I say something nice.
Donut Operator
Yeah, why you.
Administrative Results
Why you so gay? Why you being so nice to the super hot chat.
Eli Double Tap
Gay. Tune in for the pepper box exclusive.
Donut Operator
Gang bang.
Brandon Herrera
The Disney princess.
Donut Operator
Oh, man, the birds are following him around.
Brandon Herrera
Have you. You need to go hunt with like deer hunt with a Celine.
Donut Operator
Yeah, I mean, that would be.
Brandon Herrera
That's a good piece of content. That is a lot of. And I know the deer suffers.
Eli Double Tap
I think that's a very good idea.
Donut Operator
Yeah. Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
I just smack a fucking deer at muck.
Donut Operator
Everyone's laughing, flailing for life as, like, all the bones just break. Cuz I did. I did a ballistic dummy with the sling once and I hit it like on the orbital bone and I. Or you know, ballistic dummies. I feel like, are you walking with your giant rock.
Eli Double Tap
Pike?
Donut Operator
Man?
Brandon Herrera
It was like, dude, the outdoor boys just popped up today. It's like my final video. I'll never forget of outdoor Boys.
Donut Operator
And he's like, fish? Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
He's like, did you find a rock kid? He's like, no, dad, it's cuts to him just punching four times.
Administrative Results
Don't take this the wrong way. You see what the type of slinger that would cave in a deer skull.
Eli Double Tap
Oh, Edmonds.
Brandon Herrera
So you orbital crushed?
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Brandon Herrera
Mannequin's head.
Donut Operator
Yeah, but. So the ballistic dummy, it. It broke, like, you know, all the bones. But the crazy thing was all the way to the back of the skull, it just shattered everything just like it was. Is like paste. Right? And so I couldn't imagine, like, pre, you know, surgery, whatever, if bones splinter like that, it's like, if you don't die, it's not an instant death. Right? That is like a long, horrible, mushy skull for, like, a couple days where you're just floundering. And so it's. It's brutal.
Eli Double Tap
There is actually an old medical procedure they used to do for stuff like that. It was called prayer.
Donut Operator
Yeah, we'll get the priest in here. But no, it.
Brandon Herrera
It would be sage.
Donut Operator
Yeah.
Eli Double Tap
I diagnosed with brain mushroom.
Brandon Herrera
Todd is a hero. Say something, Todd.
Eli Double Tap
Jesus, Todd.
Administrative Results
Can I have your farm field? You guys all heard it.
Eli Double Tap
Connor. Open hand. Open hand. Unplugging medieval life supporters. Like Eli's gonna do with this deer sandwich. Just goes. It's like a choir.
Administrative Results
Sorry, we haven't invented washing hands yet. Oh, good God.
Donut Operator
Oh, my gosh.
Eli Double Tap
Yes. I'm a surgeon. I make $160,000 a year. Yeah.
Fat Electrician
My.
Eli Double Tap
I brought my one tool.
Brandon Herrera
Well, I think on that note, we can move to the after show, because that's a comedy goal.
Eli Double Tap
That was fun. I really enjoyed that. Thank you guys so much for coming on.
Brandon Herrera
Real quick, where do we find you?
Donut Operator
Dash rendar on YouTube.
Brandon Herrera
Spell it out.
Donut Operator
D A S H R E N D A R after my favorite Star wars character because I'm a huge nerd.
Brandon Herrera
Oh, that's what we'll talk about in the after show. Okay, Holy admin's here. Where do we find you?
Administrative Results
You can find me administrative results, but don't come looking.
Donut Operator
And what's your new one bureau files?
Administrative Results
You can come looking.
Brandon Herrera
And King Trout, where do we find you?
Donut Operator
I.
Eli Double Tap
On the Internet, King Trout. Thank you guys for coming to the unsubscribe podcast. Today. I was joined by Eli Double Tap, King Trout briefly, Nick the fat electrician, Dash administrative results, and myself, donut operator.
Brandon Herrera
Thank you. Stay tuned for the after show. We feel better.
Donut Operator
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home in auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.
Unsubscribe Podcast Episode 219: Medieval History, War Tactics & The Best Ancient Weapons
Release Date: June 29, 2025
In Episode 219 of the Unsubscribe Podcast, hosts Eli Doubletap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator (Nick), Fat Electrician, and Administrative Results delve deep into the intricacies of medieval warfare, exploring historical battle tactics, the evolution of ancient weaponry, and the enduring legacy of these practices in modern times. The episode seamlessly blends historical analysis with personal anecdotes and engaging banter, offering listeners a comprehensive understanding of medieval combat.
War Bows and Archery Techniques
The discussion kicks off with an in-depth exploration of medieval archery, focusing on the formidable war bows used by English archers. Donut Operator shares his passion for replicating historical archery techniques, aiming to match the prowess of ancient bowmen.
Donut Operator [26:10]: "I shoot super heavy-duty warbows. I've trained my life to get up to like a 160-pound bow. There's not a lot of people that do that."
He elaborates on the challenges of handling such powerful bows, emphasizing the physical toll and the specialized training required to master them.
Sling Warfare and Historical Significance
The conversation shifts to the use of slings in ancient warfare, highlighting their effectiveness and the skill involved in wielding them. Donut Operator recounts his experience teaching a child actor the art of sling usage for a movie role, illustrating the practical applications of historical weaponry today.
Donut Operator [31:12]: "I do a lot of stuff with the sling, the shepherd sling. So that's the thing that, like, David used, right?"
Comparative Analysis: Bows vs. Slings vs. Crossbows
The hosts engage in a comparative analysis of different ancient weapons, discussing the strengths and weaknesses of bows, slings, and crossbows. They examine how technological advancements, such as the introduction of gunpowder, influenced the decline of traditional archery and sling warfare.
Donut Operator [35:56]: "It's very hard...compared to just like a pin-point accurate shot."
Phalanx vs. Heretical Warfare Views
Donut Operator introduces the concept of differing warfare philosophies in ancient Greece, contrasting the orthodox phalanx formation with more fluid, individualistic combat approaches.
Donut Operator [69:11]: "The orthodox view is that the phalanx... it's just a pushing match."
Impact of Archers on Cavalry Charges
The hosts discuss how skilled archers could disrupt traditional cavalry charges, emphasizing the strategic advantage gained by targeting horses to destabilize armored knights.
Donut Operator [97:22]: "They can swarmed... If they're in the melee and the craziness they can pin him down."
The 442nd Infantry Division
Administrative Results shares a compelling narrative about the 442nd Infantry Division, the most decorated U.S. military unit in history, composed primarily of Japanese American soldiers. The story highlights their valor and the racial prejudices they overcame.
Fat Electrician [53:02]: "He never got in...soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's like, whoa, what's going on?"
Parachute Jumps in WWII
Brandon Herrera and Fat Electrician delve into the perilous experiences of airborne soldiers during World War II, discussing the technical challenges and the extreme risks associated with low-altitude jumps.
Eli Double Tap [66:06]: "They had to do some of those jumps at like, I want to say the lowest was like 300ft, which is not safe."
Adapting Ancient Skills Today
Donut Operator reflects on how ancient combat skills, like archery and sling usage, can inform modern training and personal development. He draws parallels between historical discipline and contemporary physical training regimes.
Donut Operator [34:05]: "If you've ever seen, it's like MMA with, like, conditioning."
Pop Culture Influences
The hosts touch upon the representation of medieval warfare in modern media, critiquing shows like The Last of Us for their historical inaccuracies and discussing the importance of authentic portrayals of ancient combat.
Donut Operator [14:42]: "Have you done any of that yet? No, no, no."
Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse their technical discussions with personal stories and humorous exchanges, adding a relatable and entertaining dimension to the podcast.
Donut Operator [25:24]: "Holy. Settle in."
Eli Double Tap [83:09]: "All my slingers hate Goliath."
Episode 219 of the Unsubscribe Podcast offers a rich tapestry of historical insights, practical demonstrations, and lively discussions centered on medieval warfare and ancient weaponry. By blending expertise with engaging storytelling, the hosts provide listeners with both educational value and entertaining content, making complex historical topics accessible and enjoyable.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Donut Operator [26:10]: "I shoot super heavy-duty warbows. I've trained my life to get up to like a 160-pound bow. There's not a lot of people that do that."
Donut Operator [35:56]: "It's very hard...compared to just like a pin-point accurate shot."
Donut Operator [69:11]: "The orthodox view is that the phalanx... it's just a pushing match."
Donut Operator [97:22]: "They can swarm... If they're in the melee and the craziness they can pin him down."
Eli Double Tap [66:06]: "They had to do some of those jumps at like, I want to say the lowest was like 300ft, which is not safe."
Brandon Herrera [53:02]: "He never got in...soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's like, whoa, what's going on?"
These quotes encapsulate key moments of the discussion, highlighting the depth and passion with which the hosts approach medieval history and warfare.