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And he's like, oh, we're gonna tax urine where people go to the bathroom.
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This is why they're always trying to get us to drink more water so they can tax more piss.
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Used to be a bad neighborhood, but ever since all these gay emperors came in.
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All right, FDR was the worst president.
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Look at that.
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Confiscated the gold.
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Look at that. Is this common sense? Right, everyone kisses.
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Nah, I'm glad Alexander Hamilton's dead.
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You bastard.
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Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous brand.
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His hair is fucking fabulous.
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Donut. A dog joke disposition.
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And there's a fat electrician.
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Welcome to Unsubscribe.
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Hello, everyone.
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Hello.
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Right, and what's today?
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April 15th.
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What happens on April 15th?
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April 15th is my birthday where I turned 15.
C
You turned 15 today. No, you didn't.
A
You know, I should just leave the building.
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You're just teasing. Are you teasing? Daddy, I did want to record today because it is halfway through autism awareness month. But it is little man's birthday and he wanted to be on camera today. Didn't you? Yeah. And you wanted to say thank you for everyone for the birthday wishes.
A
Thank you for the birthday wishes.
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How much did you appreciate it? Only one arm. Oh my God, that's so much. Thank you guys and gals so, so much just for being amazing. He knows he is loved by so many people. And I want to change a thing in this life, would I? Who's my best friend?
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I am.
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Who's your best friend? You. Love you, big boy. Just really quick, we have some amazing new merch. We got this one and plus all the old autism related shirts. And when you're watching this and you head over to Bunker Branding Unsub, you will see the brand new Weaponized Autism Part 2. Second in the series that the next one. A hundred percent of the sales from these shirts will be going to those amazing non profits for autism and special needs. And for a limited time, we got, boom.
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The two different shoes.
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Ryden, which one do you like?
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I like this one here. Hold it.
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Show it. I love you, big boy. You crack me up. You like that one more? Which one should they buy. They should buy this one. Even though you like this one more,
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they would buy this one.
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Okay. 100% of the profits from anything autism related and a portion of all profits on our website will be going towards this amazing, amazing cause at the end of the month. We're just trying to blow last year's $235,000 out of the water. Change some lives, right, Ryden? Also, a portion of anything you buy over@drinkechelon.com will be going towards this. Also we have some amazing giveaways from Neil from Exodus Knives. He made another autism Echelon blade. It's gorgeous. Hard headed veterans partnering up with them. Tommy, we have the nicest ballistic helmet you're going to buy and you're just entered to win it, plus a gold ticket. We love you all. Ready? Three.
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Oh, yeah, it's open here on three. You don't have to drink it, just
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gotta crack it for the audio right by the mic. Ready? 3, 2, 1.
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Hi, everyone and welcome to the Unsubscribe podcast. I'm joined today as always by say hi himself, Eli Doubletap, Iowa's own Nick the Fat electrician.
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Hello.
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And ancient Roman history expert, Jeremy Slate, as well as myself, Fishman King Trout.
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Fish man.
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Tell me about the piss tax.
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What?
D
I've been waiting to ask you this for weeks.
B
The piss tax.
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The piss tax.
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So Emperor Vespasian is trying to. Is trying to basically put money back in the treasury since he's just. He hasn't completed building the Coliseum, but he's put a lot of money into it. And he's talking to his son Domitian about taxes.
D
Hold on. The Colosseum's funded by piss?
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No, the Colosseum is funded by the conquest of Jerusalem.
D
Okay. The replenishing of the funds is sponsored by piss.
B
Correct. So he's talking to Domitian and this
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is why they're always trying to get us to drink more water. So they can tax more piss.
B
Exactly.
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It's a conspiracy by the Roman industry. Big piss.
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Yeah, big piss.
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Big toilets out to get him.
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30 seconds in, I'll let you know. This is not the same as Sean Ryan.
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So they're talking about. Totally get it.
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He was like, where am I?
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No, I was on Sam Tripoli's show, so trust me, I get it. But he's talking to him about like this tax they're gonna do and he's like, oh, we're gonna tax urine where people go to the bathroom and Domitian's kind of like, why Would you do that? He goes. He hands him a coin. He says, smell this. And he smells it. And he goes, does it smell like piss to you? He says, no, it smells like money. He goes, exactly. That's a very big paraphrase. But California has him smell the coin to ask him if it smells like piss.
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How specifically are they taxing piss?
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So they would. They were the public restrooms. They would. You ever been to France?
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No.
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You want to go to France? You want to use the toilet?
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I don't.
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But you got to put a coin in to use the toilet. It's the same thing. So they would basically ask for money to use a public toilet.
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Oh, okay. I misunderstood. I thought it was like they were. They were using piss for, like, leather tanning and stuff, and they were taxing it after the fact.
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No, no, they were literally. They were just taxing public bathrooms.
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Oh, yeah.
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We're gonna learn.
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They don't have somebody staring over your shoulder, watching, and be like, that looks like 6 ounces.
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I was gonna say I was wondering
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if it was volume based.
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I was like, I'm horribly dehydrated.
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Just lying.
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Nobody's drinking water.
C
How much did you piss today? None. Nope.
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The slave was watching you.
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He can't afford a pot to piss in. I can't afford to piss.
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Okay, so here's a better one. When people talk about wanting to go back in time to Rome, you really don't want to because it would have smelled terrible. So have you ever seen, like, when
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I imagine it smells like Europe, when
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people get carried around? Like, rich people get carried around. And these things are called litters. So the reason they would do that is because poor people lived in what are called insulae. They were these big apartment buildings, and everybody would go to the bathroom in a copper pot, and you were supposed to take it down and dump it in the sewer. But they're really high off the ground. They don't want to do that. So they would dump it out the window. And the reason the curbs are so high, like, if you've ever been to Pompeii, the curbs are really high and they're, like, hard to step off of. It's because the street would be filled with piss and shit. So the rich people didn't want to walk in it. That's why other people carried them. Not because they didn't want to walk.
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Damn.
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Fair enough, dude.
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Give a quick synopsis of Jeremy, because
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I think with Rome, you listen to any of this?
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Because this guy's.
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No, that's more piss.
C
Shut up, Eli Rome.
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One more piss thing.
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Okay, go on the piss.
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There's really interesting ways that emperors die, Right? And Emperor Caracalik. Have you seen the new Gladiator movie?
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No. Cause I was.
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Okay, totally historically inaccurate, but actually a pretty decent movie. And they make Karakola. This, like, blonde guy with, like, silver teeth. Yeah, he wouldn't have looked like that. He was from North Africa, so he would have looked like darker skinned or. But not quite black. Anyway, he is on campaign, steps off his horse to take a piss, and his Praetorian prefect, the guy that ran the Praetorian Guard for him, kills him.
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Why?
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He's taking a piss.
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Rude.
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Yeah, bad way to go.
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So do you have to pay taxes on that or.
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He did not. The tax was over at that point because it was a hundred years after. But he gets killed. Why? Taking a piss, man.
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Yeah.
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That is a wild time when you can just hop off. You have guards around you. Multiple.
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No, but the guy responsible for guarding him is the one that makes sure he died.
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It's like.
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I know, but that's the thing.
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That's like the President.
C
What happened?
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I was thinking about this the other day, how, like, everybody's like, oh, it's just every. Everybody today is such a better person than they were back in history. And it's like, hear me out. There's never been a moment in your life where you were caught off by traffic, where if you knew for a fact that you could have just ran their ass off the road and completely got away with it for sure you wouldn't have done it. It's like, we might not be better people. There's just better consequences keeping us all in line.
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Right?
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Like, I'm not giving out a lot of ass whooping specifically because I didn't want to get in trouble, but if
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you stole something and cut your hand off, you wouldn't steal something again.
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Yeah, but you got to catch me.
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I can steal one more thing.
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It's not my bad one.
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Yeah, I still got my good hand.
B
Was that Mr.
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Deeds?
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Take my strong hand.
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Oh, oh.
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Scary movie, scary movie, scary movie.
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Take my strong hand.
A
Well, that's one of the Mandela effect things, that. He doesn't actually even say that in the movie.
C
No, it's a weird.
A
Yeah.
C
What does he say, though?
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I can't remember.
C
I hate when we do that. Well, he doesn't say that.
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Don't do this to me.
A
No, I'm serious. It's the Fruit of the Loom. Chick Fil. A with a K. That whole thing. Curious George having a cornucopia. There is a cornucopia. Curious George has a corn.
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There's definitely a cornucopia in Houston, we have a problem.
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I'm sorry. Curious George doesn't have a tail now.
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Yeah, correct.
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What fucking time?
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And there was no movie named Shazam.
C
Nope.
D
That's so false.
C
Oh, dude.
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Well, I swear I watched that movie.
C
Our new autism shirts, the NASA one, it's like, houston, we have a problem. I had to text Darius is like, hey, that's not the saying. He's like, yeah, it is. Quote Sin from the movie. He's like, oh, holy.
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What is the saying?
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Houston, we've.
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Houston. Rut ro.
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We've got a problem. It's just changed. Different Apollo.
D
This is bullshit.
A
Berenstein bears ass. Shit.
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Yeah, Houston, we have a problem. Is the misquote. And it's actually, ah, Houston, we've had a problem. Instead of we have a problem, we've had a problem. That's the only thing I heard.
B
Everything okay? So the problem's completed.
C
Yeah, they're good.
A
No more worries, bud.
C
Tom Cruise killed it. Your Tom Cruise. I don't know. Tom Hanks.
D
There we go.
C
You actually. Your entire lifestyle is about Roman history. That's what. Yeah. Really rocketed you into social media and podcasting and everything, right?
B
Well, technically, no. So my master's is in early Roman Empire propaganda.
A
I knew it.
B
I study. Hold on, hold on. And then I taught high school for a couple of years. I sold personal training door to door. I was a competitive powerlifter for a bit, and I started a podcast in 2014 for, like, fun.
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Hold on.
B
And back up.
D
Yeah, Door to door. Personal training.
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People pay when you train them at home.
C
Oh, yeah.
D
Oh, okay. You said door to door. And I imagine.
B
No, I would knock door to door.
D
I was knocking doors. I was being like, are you fat as f. Do you want me to show you how to do this?
B
No. So what I would do is I would look at the most expensive zip codes, and then I would go to the condo communities because I knew that people paid more for their condos in that area. And I would knock on doors.
C
Oh, that's really cool.
B
And I would do a fitness survey, ask them questions, and sometimes they would hire me. Other times they'd tell me to fuck off and leave. But I got enough people that I made money.
C
And that's disposable income in those area.
B
Correct.
C
So you're just correct.
B
You look at the zip codes, you don't just go anywhere.
C
Smart man. You're a really smart man.
A
Well, I seen you on different other like interviews and podcasts you've done or whatever, where you're always wearing like a suit. And then when he showed up to lunch today, I was like, holy, this guy's jacked.
C
The joke about going to college and going into Roman studies, but actually turning it into something. It's one of those. I went to school for Roman studies. You're like, ah, loser.
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You.
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You made a career out of that.
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Yeah, Unintentionally though. Cause it was that men think about the Roman Empire thing popped up. And I had been doing keynotes and media for years. And my wife's like, honey, this is your time to shine. You have a degree in this. You could do something with it. And I ended up doing a show with Cal Fussman. He's a guy that's interviewed Larry King, a lot of well known people.
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Your wife felt like she hit the fucking lottery when that meme came out. Finally, I've been listening to rant about Clitoris the Emperor for years.
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She's in her glory right now.
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Nobody could find him.
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Dominus Clitoris, my favorite Roman emperor.
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No one was able to find him.
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Funny enough, I actually got into Rome because I was really interested in Alexander the Great. And then Roman emperors were obsessed with Alexander the Great. I'm like, oh, why? Why is that? And I. That's what got me, like, looking into Rome a lot more.
C
You're like this, I'm doing seven years of school for this
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six.
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Early Roman Empire propaganda. How did you even like, decide to settle on that?
B
So I went to Seton Hall University and they had gotten rid of their classics program in grad school. And they only had a history master's, which I just found out last month. They also got rid of their history masters. They only have a history undergrad program now. But I had read this weird article about the first emperor, Augustus, after he wins the battle of Actium in 31 BC, and he goes and prays before the sarcophagus of Alexander the Great at that point in time. And there's like a funny story about it that he apparently breaks the nose off or something like that.
C
But interesting.
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I was like, why do you do that? That's really weird. So then I studied his life and I basically discovered that he was using Alexander the Great as a model because Alexander the Great had convinced people he was God to kind of do a very similar thing in his own life. And that was, I finished my degree in 2011 did nothing until about three years ago. And now I just talk about Rome all the time.
A
Hell yeah. Most dude shit ever.
D
I finished my degree in Roman history, then decided to go door to door and show people how to pick up heavy stuff for a living.
B
Well, I taught high school for two years.
A
High school in the meantime. History, I'm assuming, right?
B
Yeah, I taught honors, US History and sociology.
C
Damn that. What was that experience with actually having the opportunity to use that random degree and it paying off? Because that had to been. It's a joke. It's like always one of those means like I did gothic studies or whatnot.
B
Women's studies?
A
Yeah, you're gonna go work at the Roman history factory upstate.
B
It's not a degree. It's not a degree I would recommend anybody get because you're literally not going to do anything with it. This is like a moonshot to actually happen. But it was pretty cool that I get to do that because even when we travel places, I'll be reading the inscriptions and all of a sudden there's all these retired people crowding around us. My wife's like, oh, we're doing a tour. What's happening?
C
Oh, what are you talking about?
A
Turn around. And you're like, let me tell you a tale.
D
$5.
B
This is the blue plate special tour.
C
I just put the money in the basket.
A
I think through all of our years in business on the Internet, we've all used Shopify. I've used it for merch and my skate shop and a couple other.
C
I will actually agree 100% on that. Everything we do is run through Shopify.
B
Even bunkers run through Shopify.
C
Our shoes, which is a separate company, is run through Shopify and they talk together because of Shopify.
B
Shopify runs the world.
C
Did you know Shopify will actually help you design a website also?
B
Cody?
A
I know. I didn't know about starting an online store when I started my career online. And Shopify just made it super, super easy for my dumb.
C
Brandon. What happens if people haven't heard about my brand? No, that's actually easy El.
B
Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to use email and social media campaigns.
C
Step Cody, what happens if I get stuck?
A
Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer service.
C
Step support. Bro, you got my back and your front. Shopify helps millions of businesses around the
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world and 10% of all e commerce
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in the US from household names like Mattel or Gymshark to new brands.
C
Just getting started on some shoes on some Merchants Bunker.
A
No. We've all been doing this for over a decade and Shopify is the easiest e commerce platform we've ever used. I think every single one of us has used Shopify at one point.
C
I think all our businesses right now are using Shopify.
A
Oh, except mine. But that's because it's guns can't do that.
C
Just one of them. Can't turn those dreams into sfx. Cha Ching Shopify New Sell sound and
B
give them the best shot of success with Shopify.
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Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com
C
unsubpod shopify.com unsubpod Alexander the Great. You studied him in undergrad?
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I studied a lot of him.
C
And what was one of the craziest I've like, I love this period of history because a lot of people don't know it. I know. That's why we brought Mr. King Trout on today. He was like, oh, I actually know some of this.
A
Also a lot about Alexander the Great.
C
Yeah, yeah.
B
Cool.
A
Of Macedon.
C
And Nick is the historian for generals and everything.
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Yeah, there's no guns involved. I don't know shit.
C
So what was the big hook out the gate that was like, okay, I'm really interested in this because the interesting
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thing about him is he wants to be the philosopher king. He wants to be somebody that kind of brings literacy and makes the world a better place. And then he kind of like goes over this knife's edge and he's like, I'm just gonna maniacally kill everybody. And I'm kind of like, what makes somebody like that? I find that really interesting. And the hard thing about him, he kind of starts drinking his own sauce, if you know what I mean. Like, he gets to the point where his mother growing up, his mother Olympias, is telling him, oh, well, you're, you know, you're not the father. The son of Philip ii, who's his father, Philip II of Macedon. You're actually. You come from the line of Heracles, which is what the Romans would call Hercules. It's like, oh, okay. Well, you know, I got this divine thing going. And then after he conquers Egypt, he enters this temple called Zeus Aman. He's greeted as greeting son of God. And after that point, he starts really believing that Philip isn't his father. He starts kind of believing he is kind of divinely the person ruling. And when he conquers Babylon, there's this thing they do called pro skinesis. And that's where you don't Bow before somebody. You put your entire body on the ground. He starts making his generals and the guys under him do that. And they're kind of like, we grew up with you. This is weird. Like, why are you doing this? And Cleitus the Black, who had been his father's top general and kind of one of his sub guys, starts yelling at him at a dinner party. Alexander's drunk and just kills the guy. So he gets to this point where he's started believing this so hard that now he's going to do anything he can do to start living as a human God.
A
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building with American Express Business platinum unlock over $3,500 in business and travel value annually with statement credits on select purchases from brands like Dell, Hilton and Adobe and other benefits. American Express Business Platinum. There's nothing like it. Based on total potential value of statement credits on select purchases and other benefits, enrollments required monthly and other limits and terms apply. Learn more@americanexpress.com Business Platinum and I'm like, how does somebody get like that? So then I read this article about Augustus, and already knowing what I know about Alexander, I'm like, well, this guy knew something. Like, he understood propaganda and how it works.
D
It's like Kim Jong Un.
C
It's like, I can't even wrap my head around you're having homies. Like, unsub. We've all together. And then one day, Nick's like, hey, why aren't you guys bowing to me, bro?
D
It's Kim Jong Un. He's like, I planted every tree in this country. Also, I invented burritos and golf. 18 holes in one, 27 under par or whatever.
B
And I only got 99.6% of the vote. Those other 0.4%, they're dead.
D
Yeah.
C
Nick starts this. And then immediate beginning of the next episode, we had a part with Nick. I'm so sorry.
D
No, it's.
C
It's.
D
It's straight up like, I invented burritos.
C
Nick.
D
No, you didn't bang King Trout. Nick invented burritos.
C
Guys.
D
I had no idea.
A
I really like being alive. I'm pretty sure this dude invented burritos.
B
The next episode opens. You guys are just both on the ground in front of him, bowing.
A
Was that based on Alexander the Great's history too? I would have to be Nick's twink boyfriend.
B
Ah, you're Hephaestian.
D
Yeah.
A
Didn't he get killed? And Alexander had like, the. The people who killed him, like their entire village completely razed to the Ground, or am I misremembering?
B
No, you're not wrong. It was. Batis was the king that actually is leading the army that gets him killed. And the weird thing about Alexander is he was really, really into the Iliad. And there was this story in Plutarch that he slept with a copy of the Iliad, like, under his pillow because he was so into the Iliad. And if you look at the different things he does in his life, he's
C
trying to be explanation of Iliad really quickly.
B
So it's a. A song that's made into a book. It's supposedly written by this guy named Homer, but if you look into it, Homer's actually, like, somewhere between three and nine people. And it's a story that's passed down over time. And it's about this Greek hero, Achilles, at the Trojan War. And Alexander, like, tries really hard to be Achilles, like, in different things he does in his life. And Achilles, after he kills Hector, he drags the body behind his chariot. So Alexander kills Battis and he pulls him behind his chariot because he's trying to be like Achilles. So a lot of the things he does in his life is to be like Achilles.
C
No shit.
A
Yeah.
B
So when that happens with Hephaestion, he kills Battis and drags him behind his chariot.
A
Hmm.
C
And who. This is a. It's his boyfriend.
A
Well, it's his male life partner. They were real good friends.
B
You never seen Oliver Stones, Alexander, Jared Leto?
A
I. Oh, I've never. I never watched anything with it.
D
Is it like the new Napoleon?
B
No, it's actually really good. But they make the relationship between Colin Farrow, who's Alexander, and Hephaisti, and that's Jared Leto, incredibly weird. It probably. It probably was less close. They're lovers in the movie, and it would have been less like that, though there might have been some of that, if that makes sense.
C
I'm getting two conflicting stories right now. Trout thinks homie, like the ween.
A
And you're. Wasn't it like. Wasn't it kind of. It was like, yeah, he's my boy, and sometimes we F each other in the ass.
B
But that was Greece in that period of time. The city of Thebes had the most powerful military in Greece at that point in time, because Greece isn't like a united territory. It's a bunch of city states. It's why the Greeks couldn't really conquer anything because they were all kind of, like, fighting each other.
A
Spartans, Athenians.
B
But the best military force was the Thebans, and they had this group of 100 men that were called the Sacred Band and it was 50 gay lovers.
C
That's why we.
B
That's unsubbed and I guess so. And they. The reason that they supposedly did that is because they would fight harder for the man next to them. For that particular reason rather than just, you know, hit.
C
As my buddy, I mean I kind of.
A
I can only fuck him once. If he's dead.
C
I would not. That would be a weird military thing just showing up to basically like, okay, that guy above you, you are him, huh? Yeah.
A
I think he's your battle buddy.
C
I think they're battle buddy's ugly.
D
I think they already gay. So it's kind of the concept.
B
That's the point.
D
They didn't recruit.
B
So guess what?
D
It's kind of the concept of like imagine how much harder you would fight if Savannah was on the battlefield with you. You know what I mean?
B
That's the point. That's the point. It's basically you're fighting so your girlfriend doesn't die. That's the point.
C
What are those posters? A gay club. Like an old gay club. And that's the recruiting station. You do 10 pull ups.
A
Yeah.
B
In Greek civilization though, like not that it was okay. That was. There was a lot more of that than there was in Roman civilization. And Rome becomes a lot more. So the Greeks called themselves Hellenes, right. That was their name for themselves. So in the second century, Rome becomes more Hellenized or more like like the Greeks. But early on, like during the Roman republic, they saw Greeks as like feminine men. So to be called Greek for a certain period of time was an insult. Later on that's going to change because they're kind of all a little Greek, if that makes sense.
C
And that's when Hellenite.
A
Right.
C
Dude, the Hellenites is a good shirt. You just don't know what it is.
B
So there's this. The best time in Rome. The famous historian Edward Gibbon calls the five good emperors the best time in Rome. And the reason they were different is because they didn't have any natural born sons to be the next emperor. Because a lot of them were playing for the other team. A little bit like the one that was really famous for that was Hadrian. And he had a male lover named Antinous. And everybody kind of knew about this. And when Antinous died, sorry.
D
They had five gay emperors back to back.
B
Maybe, maybe not.
D
I bet the property value.
B
The last was Marcus Aurelius though. The last one was Marcus Aurelius though. And he had a Kid, what was
D
the real estate value of the Coliseum? How much did it go up during that time period?
A
Gentrified Rome used to be a bad neighborhood. But ever since all these gamblers came in,
B
but they didn't have natural, beautiful Gucci.
C
Disneyland with a Coliseum that kills each other.
B
They invited Lindsey Graham because it was in Disneyland.
D
The emperor's new groove.
A
They just went home for Easter. What used to be the hood. Lot of pride flags, a lot of coffee shops.
B
They do good work, but the thing that they did different is since they didn't have any sons, they would find the next closest person to them and adopt them to be the next emperor. So for five emperors, that worked really, really well. But, like, Hadrian was kind of very much playing for the other team, if that makes sense.
C
Yeah. Oh, we got it.
A
He built that wall to keep all the women out. Well, because didn't Julius. He didn't have any choice. He adopted Julius Caesar. Yeah, he adopted his nephew Augustus.
B
Right. So Julius Caesar didn't have any children. Augustus was his great nephew. He's Gaius Octavius.
A
Oh, great nephew.
B
Julius Caesar's an interesting one, though. Cause there was. And I forget the king's name, but in his youth, he was at this one local king's court a lot. Like, not a Roman, but like a provincial.
D
When you say he was at his court.
B
And that was the legend about him that they would. Because Caesar was also a womanizer. So they would say he was a husband to every woman and a wife to every man. That was one of the things they would use to kind of like, really? That was one of the propaganda things about Caesar that his enemies would use to talk about him. Because he was very often at this king's court. And they kind of didn't know what was happening at the court. So, you know, maybe, maybe not.
C
So he's a man that just loves to get plaid.
D
I don't know. That sounds like they could just be hanging out, playing video games or whatever. I don't know. That's fair.
C
Sega Genesis was very notorious.
D
Sonic, whatever they played back then, you know,
B
The.
D
There was a new article that came out, and the headline was Oldest Gay Couple Ever Discovered. And it was like Pompeii or some. It was like two bodies. And they, like, did the forensics. They're like, oh, they're men. And they died hugging.
B
And they were running from a volcano.
D
I said, it's like, this is why men don't show emotions. You know what I mean?
B
Like, you're running from a volcano, you're gonna die.
D
Me and King Trout.
C
There's an ash storm rolling in.
D
You know what? Of all volcano. And we thought the world was ending. And I hugged my bro. And then they dig us up 3,000 years.
C
I know what I'm doing. If you guys die together. Running the other way, I was like, they were gay.
A
There's that. That famous meme, like, of that. The discovery of them or whatever, that same article. And it's like you're, you know, your bro entered Latin name here. You fought arm in arm with him for, you know, 25 years in the. As a centurion, your children are named or your firstborn son is named after him. Ash cloud barreling in at hundreds of miles an hour. You know that death is coming. Embrace your brother one last time. Two thousand years later, they dig up your skeletons. Huh? Gay.
D
Gotta love it.
C
It's so dope. What are your.
D
Hold on. We're still on Julius Caesar.
C
Oh, yeah, go on.
D
Is the story about him getting kidnapped and then criticizing his kidnappers true?
B
Yes. So he's kidnapped by. He's kidnapped by pirates. And the weird thing about it, too, because this is in, like, Plutarch, the writer talks about this a lot. And the weird thing is, like, I have this picture in my head of them, like, living on a beach, like, working out together. Because they talk about, like, the way he's, like. He's kind of, like buddies with them after they kidnap him. And then he kind of, like, would joke with them.
D
Ha, ha.
B
I'll have you crucified. I'm going to have you crucified one day. So he gets rescued, and he petitions the Senate to have these guys crucified because he has to keep his promise, and the Senate says no. So he raises private money and has them crucified.
D
Wasn't I? So the part that I always remembered was I thought that he was, like, upset with how much they asked for ransom.
B
And then, yeah, yeah, they asked for ransom. And he was kind of like, you know, Caesar is worth much more than that. So he asked them to raise the ransom.
C
So savage.
D
I just love the concept of being on sale. Raise the price. I'm Julius Caesar.
A
Being on a ship with your kidnappers and being, like, having fun now, but I'm going to have you all.
B
The funny thing about Caesar, though, is, like, so he has a patrician name meaning, like, he has, like, a. Like, a rich name, but his father was, like, a land speculator, and he lost all the family's wealth. So Caesar's actually broke his Entire career, and he's actually living in the poor part of Rome. And his entire career, he's actually borrowing money in order to do the things he's doing. One of the big people he borrows it from is Marcus Crassus. And a lot of the moves Caesar makes in his career is because if I lose this election, I owe that guy all that money I don't have. So he keeps making moves because he's broke, as a joke, and he has to pay this guy for everything he owes him. Because you would basically raise money, you'd bribe people, you'd get elected. And then while you're elected, you do corrupt things to make more money, and then you would pay off the people that gave you the money to get elected.
C
Thankfully, that doesn't happen anymore.
B
It doesn't.
A
Amen.
C
Was it.
B
Not at all.
A
Was it Caesar who kept just, like, repeatedly setting off on campaigns, like, one after the other after the other, just to, like, build up his name so
B
it wasn't one after the other after the other? So in 59 BC, he's what's called a consul. And Rome had this idea that one man shouldn't have power because it had previously been a kingdom before it's a republic. And he was one of the consuls. You would have power for a year. And then he becomes what's called a pro consul or a consul outside of Rome. And he uses nine years to then go conquer Gaul. And he wants to run for consul again, because you could run for consul every 10 years. But Rome has a culture of getting elected in person. And his political rival, Cato the Younger, has basically been, like, trumping up these charges, like, you come back to Rome, we're gonna arrest you.
A
What was he charged with?
B
Corruption. Because there was a trope about Rome in terms of the way the politics work, that your first year was to get out of debt. Your second year was to build wealth, and your third year was to avoid prosecution for the wealth that you built because they were all kind of playing the same dirty game. But he petitions the Senate to get elected, not having to do it in person. And Cato has that canceled. He's, like, hot. You know, you still have to come back to Rome. And that's where the whole idea of coming across the Rubicon comes from.
A
Oh, okay.
B
Because he comes across the Rubicon with one of his legions. He has nine legions with him at that point in time. He leaves eight of them, takes his nine across the river, and then when he gets into Rome, his enemies just leave and he basically gets the city. But it wasn't a bunch of campaigns. It was one extended campaign.
A
Okay. Gaul being like modern day France.
B
Right? France. Parts of Germany, parts of Belgium. It's kind of all like in this similar area for him.
C
Did you know one man every hour, every day is diagnosed with testicular cancer?
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And in 2026, some women.
C
But it's April. You know what that means?
B
Ball cancer month.
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Boom. That's why we wanted to take a second and talk about the importance of men health issues and what Manscaped actually does to help with that or combat it.
B
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C
I just gave Brandon a check.
B
Didn't need to use so much tongue though.
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And Manscaped just dropped a special edition to help support this amazing cause. The TCS Ball Hero bundle.
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Hey Brandon. Check your balls.
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Now to the fun part of the ad where I check Brandon again.
B
I hate that part.
A
So I would say I again like Julius Caesar is, you know, the guy when everybody thinks of the Roman Empire. I'm sure. But was.
B
But he wasn't Roman Empire. He was Roman Republic.
A
Republic.
B
Didn't he?
A
That was going to be my question. Didn't he shift it into the empire? Or when does that begin?
B
So the last hundred years of Rome. There's a historian named Ronald Syme and he calls the last hundred years the Roman Civil war. Because what happens for that hundred years is it's a bunch of politicians basically just breaking the law and they're all fighting each other in the streets. And Caesar's kind of the last man to come up on top, but he gets assassinated. And then his great nephew Augustus, who he adopts in his will, and Mark Antony go after the assassins of Caesar and have them killed. So now there's two of them left. So then Augustus goes after Antony, he's killed, and he becomes the man on top. So Augustus is actually the one that creates what the empire becomes. But it had been a power vacuum for 100 years before that.
A
Oh, really?
B
Yeah.
A
So prior to. You said it was a kingdom in the beginning. Like, what time frame are we working?
B
So 753bc, it's founded as a kingdom. 509, it becomes a republic, and then it becomes an empire. This is debated, but somewhere between 31 and 23 BC, with Augustus. With Augustus, it's an empire. Till 476 AD, the Eastern Roman Empire, which becomes the Byzantine Empire. They wouldn't have called themselves Byzantines. They would have called themselves Romans. That goes till 1453.
C
Oh, yeah.
A
Yeah. Until World War or not World War I. The.
B
So we were talking about beforehand, like, the Holy Roman Empire was actually like the Pope looking at the fact that there's a power vacuum in the west and he could kind of be the guy on top. So he would crown Charlemagne. And now he's on top.
A
Right.
C
Missed everything. Because when I say I'm waiting for
A
Eli to get back to his prompts,
C
my brain was just like, focus, fix what going wrong?
D
Is it all Roman history? You like any other history, like, eras?
B
I love lots of history. Lots of history. Like, I. We just did some Civil War history with my kids. We took them to Gettysburg, which was fun. That's dope. And they're not old, so it's like we take them to Gettysburg and it's like we took them to Devil's Den Field. We took the Devil's Den and we took the little, little round top. Because, like, we're going to skip everything in the middle. We're just going to show you where it started, where it finished. Because that's what you have the attention span for.
C
Really smart. Which is what's your favorite part of history in American history?
B
American history? I don't know. Because I also like the conspiratorial side of things as well. You know what I mean?
C
Like, go on. You're at home.
B
My other channel is called Hidden Forces and History. So we look at the power structures behind history.
C
So, like, the Jews got it?
B
No. So. So Charles V, who's the Holy Roman Emperor. He. The way you become Holy Roman Emperor is there's seven prince electors that elect you. And the guy he's running against doesn't have the same backing he does. He has a guy behind him who's a banker named Johan Fuga. But if you actually look at his name, it's Jacob Fugger is the way it's actually spelled, but the German pronunciation is Jakob Fuga.
A
Old Jake Fugger, he actually.
B
He's a Catholic priest that decides he doesn't want to be a priest, and he becomes this, like, money man. And so basically, he bribes the seven prince electors, gets Charles V elected, and then all the weird things he does in his career, you're like, why'd he do that? Well, Jacob Fugo is gonna make money off it. So, like, if you look at kind of history, there's so many things behind what you're observing that happen for weird reasons, right? So I think, for me, that's what I'm always looking at is why do weird things happen in history the way they happen?
C
Gotcha.
D
Speaking of words being pronounced differently through translation, I had a question for Connor.
A
Oh, God.
D
I just saw this on a thread. I have not checked to see if it's real, but I thought it was very funny. Apparently. You know how in the Bible, when angels appear, they always say, don't be afraid.
A
Be not afraid.
D
Be not afraid. Apparently, a more literal translation to what they said was, stop screaming, it's fine. Which I hope is true, because it's so much funnier
C
when you know what they look like. Instant terror. Stop screaming.
D
Just imagine, like, a jaded angel. Like, yes, yes, I know how I look. Stop screaming. It's fine.
A
Every time.
C
And angels a bit. You turn around all happy because you think angel, and it's floating. Eyeballs, a mouth, and wings shooting everywhere,
A
and you're like, 16 wheels rotating around each other.
D
Ezekiel.
A
Did see the wheel get this every time. Chill, bro. Are we done? I got to tell you something really important.
C
Why would you choose that for? Wanted to be relatable. I don't even know what the wheels are.
A
Shortly after the wheel was invented.
C
Terror. Terror. What you got? Do you watch any of Nick's content?
B
I don't. I apologize.
C
Oh, dude.
D
Good. Perfect.
C
These. So Nick is our historian for especially anything with guns. As he said, it's a war. And there's pew pews.
A
If there's a story about a farm boy from somewhere in America that went over to Europe and killed a bunch of people. Nickel talk.
D
I probably know It. Yeah. And that's my whole thing. I do, like, super close up, like, biographies kind of war heroes.
B
It's like the sniper character from Savior Prime. Orion.
D
Yeah. Which is like an amalgamation of a lot of different people. So, like, the. The I. The scope shot is based off Carlos Hathcock, and I'm actually me and pewview, one of my best friends are one of the people that went and actually recreated that shot for the first time ever because mythbusters thought it'd be cool to it up three times in a row.
C
So you can't reason with the sun. Trust us. We've tried this. Summ. It's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omnishade technology is engineered to protect you from the sun's harsh rays that
A
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C
The sun is relentless, but so is our gear. Level up your summer@columbia.com to spend more time outside and less time slathering on aloe lotion. You're welcome, Columbia. Engineered for whatever.
D
Yeah, stuff like that. It's a good time.
C
What was. What's your latest video that you just released? Ones that are coming up also that would.
D
So I did Hershey Miyamara, the only medal of honor that was classified as top secret. That was my latest video. And then right now I'm working on. Yeah, yeah.
A
How did we're rewarding you this medal for. Yeah, we can't say during this.
D
During the Korean War. I mean, he's got, like, a whole story, but he was attached to the 442nd World War II. Never got to see comb at World War II ended. He decided to be a army reserve. And then Korea starts. He ships off to Korea, goes through a bunch of training, gets sent out to Korea, has multiple combat experiences, and then he goes out to Hung Nam to help evacuate the marines from the chosen reservoir. And then they send them back out. And at this point in the war, they're basically just like, trying to hold the perimeter of South Korea for peace negotiations to occur.
C
Okay, gotcha.
D
So they stick him out overlooking this river, and he had. They'd penetrated into North Korea, and then they had to backtrack to this river, and they were going to try to hold him at this river, so they left him and his. He was a squad leader for a machine gun element. So he had like. I think he had his machine gun element, which was him plus 12 guys, and then he had four extra riflemen with him, and they're just overlooking this fucking ridge overlooking a river, and the chicoms attack at night. Just overwhelming numbers. Half of his machine gun gunners dip and abandon him. And he's stuck there with the other half. And his. His original machine gunner is just like, I'm leaving, and bails. So he mans that machine gun by himself. And he's credited with killing like 40 guys by himself with this machine gun position.
B
Wow.
D
And then the gun jams. He can't get it done jam. So he blows it up with a hand grenade and then jumps out of the trench. And there was like 10 guys left in the wave. And kills 10 dudes by himself with an M1 grand and a bayonet. Runs over to his secondary machine gun position. His guys are still there, but some of them have abandoned. And the guys that abandoned were the ones that knew how to operate the machine gun efficiently. So he starts manning that machine gun. And then once it becomes apparent that, like, they're not going to be able to hold this position, he tells his other guys to dip. And he holds off the enemy as long as he can. And he holds them off so long by himself that they assume he's dead and start dropping white phosphorus rounds on his location. So then he has to abandon his position. And it's dark as out at night. So he takes off running, runs into another communist guy. He said it was the biggest guy he's ever seen in his life. Kills that guy with a bayonet, takes grenade shrapnel in this fight. And then he ends up getting caught up in a barbed wire entanglement and then is just trying to hide at this point. And then they end up capturing him, and he ends up spending 26 months in a POW camp in North Korea. And because they never found his body, but they found all the dead people. Like his. His dudes made it out. So all of his guys were like, last time we saw him, he was engaging a hundred enemies by himself. And then they went back and they're like, oh, there's the 60 dead dudes, but Hershey's not here. He might still be alive. So he got awarded the Medal of Honor, but there was a slight chance that he was a pow. So they had it classified as top secret. And then 26 months later, he gets brought back and makes it, ends up coming back home.
C
And they're like, what the. This guy's alive?
A
Yeah.
B
And you can't tell anybody's got the Medal of Honor.
D
Well, no, he can now. It was. It was during it. They made it top secret, just so. Because obviously if they were doing press releases and shit of like, oh, hey, the one Japanese guy killed 50 people and he was a POW. The North Koreans would take it out on him.
A
Yes, he's Japanese. Killing Koreans is in his blood.
D
But once he was brought back, it was declassified and then he was a hero.
C
Gee, yeah. Yeah, that would have sucked being him. He's like, oh, and then news. Everyone's like, Medal of Honor recipient. No, no, no, no, no. I'm in the actual prison right now. This is not good. Negotiationship murder, torture.
B
So much more badass than ancient battles. Like Alexander the Great was so good because he made his spears 19ft long. So it's kind of like we can stab them from further.
A
I can poke you from further away
B
where this guy's like stabbing guys with a bayonet and he's like, no, our spears are just longer. That's why we win.
A
So we've invented longer stick.
D
The. The furthest I ever go back is the Revolutionary War. And I've been trying to do. I've wanted to do a video on this guy forever, but there's like no information on him. And half of it's myth. But I finally tracked down this old ass book. I had to pay an outrageous amount of money to get it. But there was a journalist that started working on it in 1945 and worked on everything he could find about this guy for 40 years. So I'm. I'm halfway through the book now. I'm hoping there's enough to get out
A
of it sitting on the table.
D
Peter Francisco, The Virginia Giant, aka America's Hercules. Washington's Hercules. Six foot. Six foot six, 270 pounds.
B
Like Aaron Judge.
D
The average. The average soldier at this point in time was 55 and he's 6 foot 6, 260. He was a. An orphan from a pus. A Pacific island. No, he's an orphan from an island. He's Portuguese. And he just like shows up at a dock in Virginia one day and gets adopted by a judge and turns into this mammoth of a dude and ends up fighting in the American Revolution. George Washington knows him by name. George Washington said we might not won the revolution without him. And according to legend, we can't. A bunch of museums or the museum that supposedly had his sword said they lost it in a fire. But apparently George Washington had a ing claymore made for Peter Francisco that was five feet long. And the average man couldn't unsheath it.
A
He's just chopping dudes in half.
D
Apparently he killed your flashlights on. I don't Know the chair hits my pocket. I have a, like the replica of the sword, it's massive, but apparently he killed 11 dragoons at the battle of Guilford's courthouse with it.
C
Yeah. What's a dragoon?
D
Horse mounted infantry. Basically like they ride up to battle and then demount and throw the battle. So like mechanized infantry of the day basically. They don't fight on horseback necessarily.
C
Dope ass.
D
That's the replica of what they think this sword looked like.
B
Wow.
C
Giant.
B
It's like almost taller than that guy.
D
Yeah, it's a five foot tall broad sword.
A
It's a weight that that's is taller than.
B
How do you swing that?
A
That guy be 53.
C
It's probably like a six foot blade all together. Let me see, like how tall is that guy?
D
Five, five, probably. I don't know. Five, six. Doesn't look too horribly tall.
C
I do. Look at the background, look at that chair.
B
I can't imagine. Just a regular.
C
That's like a heavy, that's like a six foot blade.
D
So the legends are anywhere from five to six feet. I'm being conservative and saying five feet, but yeah, five to six foot broadsword that George Washington had commissioned for him. And then you know, you know Eddie, Eddie hall and Brian Shaw, the strongman. So they had a show a couple years ago on like Discovery Channel or something and the whole thing of the show was it was like four of the strongest men in the world and they would travel around the world and try to recreate, recreate famous feats of strength. So they would do like the shit that circus strongmen would do and all this different stuff. One of the challenges they have is to carry a cannon on their shoulder up a hill because apparently Peter Francisco did that. Like the, the yoke on the cannon got hit but the cannon was still good.
A
So how much does the barrel of a cannon Way allegedly.
D
Eleven hundred pounds.
C
Wow.
D
I don't know, but it's like one of those things where it's like, I don't know, you hear all the stories of like the mom that lifted moved a car to save her kid or whatever. Like in the heat of the moment, dude, that big. Maybe, but. So I don't know, I'm still like doing all the research on it, but
B
it's a. I couldn't imagine like how do you do that? Like I've deadlifted some heavy stuff, but throwing a cannon on your shoulder at
A
1100 pounds, just throw a Harley Davidson up on my shoulder and then walk up that hill. Yeah. Nick, tell us about your Cash App experiences, but keep it clean.
D
I use it to send my sister money sometimes.
A
That's pretty clean. Yeah. Kind of hoping you'd have a more interesting story, but. No, that's cool. That's fine.
B
I use Cash App all the time,
A
you know, genuinely, whether it's sometimes me and Brandon go out for dinner and drinks to have a great time. He doesn't consider it a date. He calls it friends hanging out. I consider it a date. And I take that a little bit personally. So when we leave, I bill him on Cash App, which is weird because
B
I pay for the bill anyway.
D
Think of it like a fishing license.
B
What?
D
King trout.
A
Boy, am I the catch.
B
Anyway, all of this is possible through Cash App.
A
How interesting you bring up Cash App Brandon. I have so many things to say about it. Cash App just released a new status program to follow the way people spend money. Called Cash App Green.
D
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There you'll learn more about this and other great features which are launching now.
D
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B
Just put that in your profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days.
A
Terms apply. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App Partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member fdic. Cash App Green overdraft coverage Borrow Cashback offers and promotions provided by Cash App a Block Inc.
B
Brand visit Cash App legal podcast for
A
full disclosures prior to modern media. A lot of that gets kind of
B
makes me think a sling blade.
D
Well, that's the thing. That's. That's the thing that's, like, difficult about it. Why I haven't done the video yet is like, there's so much like, okay, maybe that's a myth, maybe it's not. I'm sure it's been, you know, I
A
was gonna say, because that probably comes up a shitload in like, ancient history.
B
Oh, absolutely.
A
Hearing well and aren't there a bunch of historians that will talk about.
B
I can't remember.
A
I know there were like, a few big historians at the time, but they were like, telling stories basically. It's like my uncle heard a story from a guy who he heard from somebody else that this happened.
B
The writer I was talking about, Plutarch, he's. He's Greek by background, but he's writing about Greeks and Romans. And the purpose in his stories he's telling is to teach a lesson. So he'd alter the story, like, if he thought the guy was a bad guy, to show you how bad he is, or if he's a good guy, to show you how good he is. So they would alter the story. And part of the problem is too, especially with, like, Roman history, is a lot of it's written, like, if you look at the first emperor, Augustus, Titus Livius's famous Roman histories are written during that time. The Aeneid's written during that time. They're written to make the emperor look good. And that's one of the problems with history is if the person who's in power is being talked about negatively, well, you could die, right? That's a real problem. So looking at ancient history, the problem we have is a lot of the history we have is likely to make somebody else look good or bad. And 90% of it doesn't exist anymore because it's written on things that don't survive.
D
I think about this all the time. I can't wait till 500 years from now and there's somebody like you that has a degree in me. Memes from the 2000 and tens, like, based on the quantity of negative versus positive memes. He was a very controversial figure.
A
Everybody loved this guy.
C
You look at like Kim Jong Un, if you. Every other piece of history was instantly deleted other than the North Korean bits of history.
B
The greatest golfer that ever lived.
C
That's what everybody like, damn, this guy was fucking dope. 1800. Who's this one for?
A
That might be mine.
B
Could you imagine if the only thing that survives about Trump is, like, the art of the Deal or something like that?
D
You have all.
C
He was writing books, even.
B
He was a scholar, a gentleman and a scholar.
C
Korean War, Just going back to that line that they held. I don't think a lot of people realize it was. If you watch the wave of troops, Us, South Korea, we push through. We almost get to China, and then the Million Man Army, China shows up to party, and then they come down, and then you hit that line. I'm guessing it was probably right around that.
D
Yeah, so it was.
C
It was the dmz.
D
So, like, they pushed in, they cut the Marines off at the Chosin Reservoir, and he was part of the evacuation that got them out. And then there's kind of like, there's kind of a lull because it's in winter. So, like, his battle happens, like, as winter's ending and, like, their big spring offensive is kicking back off, and that's what shoves a line back to, like, where it is now. So, like, I mean, it was literally just Marines and Army dudes sitting on top of hills with recoilless rifles and machine guns mowing down wall after wall of people until they came to an agreement.
A
The forgotten war.
C
We haven't done any wars like that and God knows how long. Thank God. Yeah, thank God.
B
We actually haven't had a war since World War II.
D
Mad I would be. If I was an infantry dude in Korea.
C
Oh, yeah.
D
Just the notion of, like, I'm sorry, I'm freezing my balls off on top of this hill with a machine gun and you have nuclear warheads and could just end this. What are we doing right now? Like,
A
who was that General? Was that MacArthur? Yeah. Wanted an irradiated sea of cobalt, which I was talking to. My grandpa served during Korea. He wasn't in Korea. I literally can't say what he was doing during the time because I'm pretty sure it's still top secret. But I remember my grandma was telling me she would check the news like, every day during the Korean War just to kind of keep updated on it. And at the time, everybody understood MacArthur to be, like, a insane person.
B
Didn't you want to drive to China?
D
MacArthur was. MacArthur was extremely unpopular ever since he, like, abandoned his guys at the Philippines. Like, a lot of World War II vets still call him Dugout Doug. That was the nickname they gave him when he fucking dipped on his guys. And a lot of, like, the positive PR and fanboys that you see now are after. After he came out with his book and all of his self aggrandizing himself.
A
Because I know I. I know a decent amount about Truman, and I know Truman hated his guts.
D
Yeah, Truman couldn't fucking stand him. It's like, I don't know. I still get heat in the comment sections from MacArthur fanboys. Like, he didn't abandon his men. He was ordered to leave. Like, I don't give a fuck. Like, he was also ordered not to march the military within 40 miles of China and caused the entire issue with the Korean War. But he did, like, no shit.
B
But I think that's one of the major problems with history is, like, number one, how it's told and number two, like, do we actually know what happened? Right? Like, I think so. So often it's either to make somebody look good or bad or whatever it might be. And we don't know what actually occurred a lot of times.
C
So this is the first time we actually get to see it live. Because it's hard to hide it when. And they still are doing a fantastic job of pushing narratives.
A
The classic Norm MacDonald bit where he's sitting there and he goes, I was reading a history book and wouldn't you know it, the good guys won every time.
D
So I always. I always. Because, like, all my shit's, like, very pro America. Rah, rah, whatever. So, like, the argument I always get when I'm arguing with, like, communist sympathizers or the people that are like, oh, the USSR actually won World War II or whatever, it's always, well, that's just the American sources and you're trusting the Americans. And I think it's cool, being an American, that you actually have a decent rebuttal to that, to the winners. Right. History argument. Because America is kind of the first instance ever in human history that I'm aware of. I can get on Amazon right now and I can have copies of war memoirs written by German generals from World War II shipped to my house in 48 hours and hear the entire war from their perspective. Like, this is the first time in human history where you can. You're allowed to just publish and get that information and read all the perspectives. So, like, I don't think you can claim, oh, you're just listening to winners version of history. Because, like, no, we're not. And we can read their perspective too. It's just. They fucking lost.
C
Sorry.
A
I was wanting to bring this up so much because I was wondering if y' all would butt heads on it. But I know you've talked about how, like, the fall of the Roman Empire kind of mirrors what's going on in modern day America. I just was wondering if you could expand on that and then see Nick's opinion, because I know Nick will disagree with you.
B
Is he gonna crush me?
D
No, I don't. I have to hear the opinion. I don't know where this would be going.
B
So, like. But I'm also a believer that literally wrote down history doesn't repeat, but it rhymes, right? So I don't think it's an exact foil. Like, when people ask me, is this, the fall of the Republic or the fall of the empire. And this might be where you disagree with me. I don't know. I tend to think we've been an empire for quite a while. And when I look at the 1913 is kind of a pivotal year for that because there's three key things that happened that year. The Federal Reserve act passes, the 17th amendment passes, which means state legislatures no longer vote for senators, and income tax passes that year. And Wilson was probably our worst president. But the progressive error dramatically changes America. And what's happened might be fdr, but.
C
Go ahead, Woodrow.
A
Joe Wilson is the devil.
B
No, FDR is pretty bad, but Wilson kind of started the ball rolling, if that makes sense.
A
Yeah.
B
And the sad part is some of that as you can blame Teddy Roosevelt for that because he runs third party. But it is what it is, in my opinion. I think we are kind of more in an empire stage. And if you look at that, once again, not a direct foil, but if you look at what was happening in Rome in their third century, because Rome falls in the fifth century, but the third century is kind of what makes everything go wrong. They're at 15,000% inflation by 284 AD. They are no longer controlling their borders. And the politicians are no longer doing things that are good for the future. They're doing things that are good for right now. And when I look at that, I do see a lot of those things happening now. And that is one of the things that concerns me because we're not at 15,000% inflation. But also how we report the inflationary numbers isn't correct. We do year over year inflation. And there's a lot of things we don't include. Like, we don't include building materials. There's other things we don't include which would show us the actual numbers. And if you wanted to look at, I think like when I ran the math, it was like 1790 to this year. We're somewhere between 3,000 and 3,500% inflation. So we're not at 15,000%, but we are destroying our money and our currency. There's a new way to sweetgreen Meat wraps.
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B
It doesn't really have any real value. We can't control our borders. And we have politicians that are just Kind of fighting amongst each other. So when I look at that, to me, it reminds me a lot of what you saw in kind of a late stage Rome when it's in this decay period.
D
I don't disagree with that. But don't worry, we're going to shift over to crypto. It'll be fine.
A
So wouldn't it be more like analogous to you?
B
Are you a crypto fan or not a crypto fan?
D
I think it's going to go horribly wrong. I like the idea.
B
I think it's like a, like a, you know, I don't trust it because we don't know who Nakamura was. Like, I just, I'm not a big.
D
Oh, that's bitcoin in particular. I don't think it's.
B
I'm not like, crypto scares me. Because you also look at what they're doing in China with currency where it's like, oh, you're a bad little China man today. You can't like, get on the bus. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's a real problem.
D
I think they're gonna replace a Swift banking system with stablecoins and then offload trillions of dollars of debt to the entire global economy.
B
They started replacing Swift last year. Did you hear about that? They launched something called the Fed Now System to get off of. Get the US off of Swift. And it basically is a digital currency which they're starting to push over the next few years. They did a press conference and everything to announce it. It's called the Fed Now System and it's to move over to more of a digital system.
D
I think they're going to try to use this to replace the petrodollar and then they're going to try to make the entire world run off of US Currency for everything.
B
I could see that happening, right?
D
Because like, you could go pretty much anywhere in the world and US Cash people will take it right now at the moment. So if you were to just swap it out and have US Stable coins where a cryptocurrency where every dollar is an American dollar.
A
You're saying, like, have the federal government implement a cryptocurrency?
D
Yes.
A
Okay.
B
They're doing that in Europe. They're doing the digital Europe.
D
Have the federal government implement a US Dollar cryptocurrency and then you allow all these people in countries that would. Their currency is worthless, and then it becomes, oh, if you have a smartphone, you can invest in US Dollars, you can buy. It's a safer form of buying power than Anything else that these people have access to.
A
And then you have the bond system. But with digital currency, what happens if
D
there's an emp, but on an individual level? Right, because right now you can restrict it like a. An electrician in wherever in South America, he can't get his hands on all that shit. Whereas right now, or if you were to do this, if he has a smartphone, he can get on the Internet and buy US dollars and keep it on his phone and his government can't take it from him, his government can't do anything about it. And then he can order online or do whatever with his money. And then you basically just increased the amount of people carrying US dollars, which is just US debt at this point. So then you offload trillions of dollars of debt, you get everybody working on your system. And then the Swift banking system, you could turn off that for a country now. You could turn it off. This is the downside.
B
Well, that's where brics came from, because a lot of the countries were looking at what was happening with us kind of weaponizing currency. And they're like, all right, well, we'll form the brics now. They're not trading in treasury bonds or anything yet, but that would be kind of the next level. But bricks is something, right?
D
But this is why I think it's going to be awful is because then you can weaponize the monetary system on an individual level. If you get everybody in the world using the same currency and it's all digital, that's when you can start implementing all the crazy plans that you hear about with like, the economic forum of
A
like, oh, that's actually dystopian as fuck,
B
15 minute cities, right?
D
But it's going to be one of those things where it's like, oh, they can track everything. They can track what you're buying. And it's like, oh, you've already bought £12 of hamburger and that's your meat quota for the month. So now your money won't work for buying meat.
B
You just terrified. You just terrified George Orwell. He's scared.
A
Yeah. Weren't you just pushing this a moment ago?
D
No, I said I like the idea. I don't think it's going to.
A
Implementation is terrifying.
C
They just did that with the grocery store in Australia where it tracks each individual that comes in. It knows because they sold it to the government for facial recognition so they can track people's data of when you're in that store. They know exactly who you are, and then they're just monitoring exactly what you Buy.
B
That's terrifying. They could be like you hit your meat quota this month. Sorry.
C
Literally.
B
That's terrifying.
C
Yeah, it's. Oh, this person likes this. This. This is how we can market to that individual specifically when they walk into this store and it's all tracked on all.
B
It's like social media made in a currency. That's terrifying.
C
And the government and that grocery store. It'd be pretty much our h E B teamed up to make that possible.
A
Now that it's finally spring, I've been outside so much more than you have. Walking around, going for hikes, getting my exercise in.
B
He does it for smoke breaks.
D
What were you wearing?
A
Funny you should ask, Nick. I was wearing Fabletics.
D
Does it smell like smoke?
A
It smells like something you take a whiff.
D
Smells fabulous.
A
Thank you. Turns out he loves the smell of my they're soft, breathable and built to last. I think I did actually use Fabletic shorts during my boxing match. Did you win?
B
Yes.
A
Good. That's all that matters. It's because of Fabletics I want clothes that actually keep up with my heavily active lifestyle on my smoke breaks. And that's why I signed up as a Fabletics vip.
D
Does that do?
A
Funny you should ask, Nick. It means you actually can get 80% off everything.
D
Doctor gave me that when I was born. May not be long, but at least it's thin.
A
New VIPs unlock major savings on their first purchase, so trying new pieces feels even more doable, which you can do right now.
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If you go to Fabletics.com use the
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code unsub and sign up as a VIP.
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They're going to do a quick quiz for you and try to figure out your sense of style.
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If you're one of our audience members, you're going to need help with that.
B
But be sure to select unsub as
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the option when you're signing up for your VIP. It's going to get you 80% off
B
and it's a limited time offer, so don't wait.
A
Go to fabletics.com unsub for 80% off. Again, that's fabletics.com unsubbed to get 80% off as a new VIP member. I think my balls would feel nice in these.
D
Speaking of Australia, they just arrested their most decorated war hero.
C
What?
B
What for?
D
War crimes from 12 years ago.
A
What'd he do?
D
Allegedly he like shot people that he was interrogating or something. Twelve years ago after he received the Victorian cross, which is their equivalent of the medal of honor. Most decor decorated soldier for Australia alive and they arrested him for some. That he allegedly did 12 years ago with no forensic evidence or anything. Just some people said, you did this, Eddie Gal.
C
This is Eddie Gallagher. When Cody did that video about Eddie Gallagher, and I read it, I was in LA at the time talking with Freddy. Freddie kicked it to me. He's like, what do you think on this? I was like, what? Pulled it up. It was Eddie Gallagher. War crimes killed. Those. Was the kid with the.
A
The trach?
B
Yeah.
C
Oh, he killed him. And then his teammates were saying they were. He was just shooting innocent people, women, kids. If they would cross this bridge. And reading it. My first response was, well, no. Like, this is a couple of people that was under him that just didn't like him. Because his vendetta. Yeah, because it was. Oh, we would. We would change his zero every day so he could. So he would miss those innocent people.
A
You would know if somebody fucked with
C
your rifle, especially if you're a Navy SEAL sniper. Yeah, you really know.
A
And I'm just some asshole.
C
Every day you're like, that's weird. Someone's f. Cking with my optic. Huh? So you read through that. And then they still went after him. They threw him in jail. And the only reason he got out was because. Oh, holy shit.
B
They.
C
The prosecution attached a Trojan virus on their team against Eddie Gallagher's. So when they opened it up, they're like, wait, this is tracking everything we send. This is 100% illegal. They brought it to the judge, like, hey, prosecution's literally trying to hack us. They're forging documents, they're making up.
A
Here's proof.
C
They had to drop all the charges. That's the only reason it got dropped.
A
Who was prosecuting him?
C
Like, the Navy.
A
Oh.
C
Oh, it was the Navy and a two SEALs that were under him, just like I thought. And they were just like, we don't like him. Wild. And the only reason he got off was because they had. Hey, look what they're doing. They're even hacking our systems to just try to get all this information and dirt on him.
B
That's wild.
A
Yeah.
C
So then they dropped it, but the prosecution. Zero trouble. They didn't get in any trouble for doing that.
A
For committing crimes.
C
Yep. Zero fucking trouble. Navy was pissed that they couldn't go after him. JAG was really into that to nail him, to have a win under their belt.
D
Didn't JAG get in, like, a bunch of trouble because they found out that they knew information that they shouldn't have known, and then they were able to trace it back to one of the Lawyers having a Trojan horse on his computer. Yeah, insane.
C
It's wild to do that. And then again, no trouble. They're like, okay, I hate, hate. Well, sorry. Oops, we got caught.
D
I hate the gamification of the legal system, dude. It's my least favorite thing. Like my. I don't think plea. I don't think plea bargains should be a thing. I hate them. Like, if you're gonna try to try to convict me of what you can prove I did, and when they do this shit where they're like, we're going to try to convict you for something way higher that we can't prove, but we're going to use that with a life sentence to scare you into just taking the plea bargain. So I get to put you behind bars for five years and then it counts as a win on my record.
A
It's got to drag on for forever because we don't have a right to a speedy and fair trial.
C
That's why I didn't even realize the rule against judge just. Judges can't be touched. They can up as much. They can release a murderer. That dude can go right back out, kill somebody else. Judges cannot be held accountable. That was like, period.
B
But they got Al Capone on tax evasion. Like, it's not like they haven't been doing this for a long time. You know what I mean?
A
Well, I was just talking to somebody about this. I can't remember who about. There was some judge in. I can't remember, somewhere in northern Texas, and a bunch of stuff came out about him. And he's just like, nothing necessarily illegal, but he's just like a moody douchebag. So the. There was a whole bunch of clips. I wish I could remember who I was talking to about this, but. A whole bunch of clips. Essentially. It's like, if he's in a bad mood that day, like, you're. Instead of going to jail for, you know, six months or whatever, community service, it's like you're going to prison for 20 years, like, the full extent of the charges. And I think the only, like, repercussions that you can bring down upon a judge is you can file a complaint to. There's like a board, essentially, but there's no, like, guarantee anything will come of that. It's like the. They are the be all, end all. Granted, it's, you know, an elected position, but still, if. If that guy's just in a bad mood that day.
B
Sounds like you shouldn't have a job, right?
C
Yeah, it's what's it called I got
A
to find like what Dramatically affecting the outcome of people's lives.
D
I don't understand the power of judges and I don't think anybody does.
A
And it scares me to levy judgment.
D
Like. Well, there's. Well, no, but there's like the new joke of like if. Who, who do we kill? The leader of Iran. Kalamimi.
A
Soleimani.
D
Solemn.
A
Whatever.
D
The.
A
Yeah, Khomeini.
D
There was the meme. There was a meme that went viral on Twitter where it was like, u. S. Federal district district court judge says he's not dead after. And it's referencing to just like how, how many district judges come out and like, no, this law can't happen. And it's like. And it turns into like an eight year thing. It's like, can any federal district court judge just. No, I don't want to. For everything.
B
Even if they're not supposed to have jurisdiction.
D
Yeah.
C
Judicial immunity is a form of sovereign immunity which protects judges and others employed by the judiciary.
A
Judiciary.
C
There we go. From liability resulting in anything, any actions. So no, they just can't be held accountable.
A
Yep, that's what it was. My brother and sister in law. Not that it matters, but I remembered who I was talking to about this dude.
C
It's wild. That's why that one in California I was reading about was like, holy. It was. Somebody got 20 year old, killed 24 year old, killed a grandpa. And then she said, okay, well he'll serve five years, but. Or five years have been served for good behavior. No time. Well, it would be a. This part is what killed me. Pointed out that Watson was not a danger to society and that he had expressed sorrow for the pain he caused, saying probation would serve him better than jail time.
A
All it needs, kill somebody.
C
That is one time. The second one, serial arsonist, several smash and grabs, car break ins and billings pled guilty. Except it's not five years. In fact, Miller will solve zero prison time because of same judge. This judge did this multiple times.
B
But I also agree with you on the plea bargain thing because it's like, especially if you're getting a plea bargain because you're turning somebody else in. Because it's like, hey, there's something in it for me. Of course you're right. Like that's, that's kind of ridiculous. Like you'll say whatever they want you to say. Like that's kind of a problem.
D
Yeah, well, I, well, I mean, I just hate the big thing. There shouldn't be any gambling in the justice system. Like if you're gonna come out and say that you think you got me on charges for murder one. Fucking prove it. Or I'm innocent. There shouldn't be any. Okay, well, it's not really going my way. And I'm not going to be able to prove this, and I know that. So Instead of getting 20 years in prison, I'll give you a plea bargain for manslaughter instead. And then you can only only serve five years. And now you're putting some dude that's a dad with two kids and a wife in a position where he's like, do I risk seeing my kids when I'm 60, or do I just bite the bullet and I can still be at their high school graduation and it's like, that's prove they did it or don't. And it's all just because lawyers want to be able to be like, I, I've never lost a case.
B
But it also seems like you're kind of guilty until proven innocent now. Innocent until proven guilty.
C
Oh, 100% now it. You just crucified instantly afterwards. Yeah, it's like they're innocent. No one's paying attention at that point. It is correct. Oh, you've lost sponsorships, going to jail, What? Or just scot free. Or you've lost family, friends. Oh, well, I was innocent, huh? No, you're that piece of that somebody. No, I was innocent of that. Nope. No one knows.
A
Court of public opinion and everything. Well, that, and I was like, Rich isn't here. But like the, the way that again, innocent until proven guilty, the way that it kind of works backwards now where, like defending yourself, knowing if I was accused of murder right now I know I didn't kill anybody. The first fucking thing I'm gonna do is get an attorney and not talk to anybody.
B
But that makes you look guilty.
A
Exactly. Well, that's what the police will tell you. And they're allowed to lie to you. Fun fact.
C
Oh, it's wild.
A
Cops aren't your friends. Love you, Rich.
D
The shitty thing about that is, even if it is a good cop that genuinely does want to help you, the da, if they're an asshole, can still use anything the cop finds out against you, whether the cop has like a rationale or reasoning behind it. And then the DA can also make it so the cop can't testify on your behalf. So like rich, Rich could have shown up like, I don't know, I. I get in a car wreck and my son dies and I get out and beat the person to death. And Rich is like this mother Was drunk and high on heroin. And I think he did it on purpose and all this stuff. Dude had a mental break. I don't think he's violent.
C
They.
D
They could just be like, I'm not going to let you testify on this guy's behalf as the first reporting officer. Which is fucking insane to me, which is that gamification where it's like, I don't care about the truth. I don't care about justice. I care about winning. And my career track record, which is bull.
A
I put away a thousand murderers, whether or not they actually committed murder.
D
I mean, you know, they brag about stats like it's fucking football. Like, I've got 90% conviction rate or whatever.
C
You know, the. There's one of the officers that work at the gym we go to, he's talked about like, man, it's wild, you seeing a murderer on the street the next week after arresting. Cause they got Bell, and it's for a low $5,000 or something. And they're on the street already.
A
Well, they're not convicted yet. They've been accused of murder. So I get that. You should be able to.
C
But he's like, these people, they have raps. This is wild.
A
But it's like, no, we all know the mother.
B
But the problem with that is, though, it creates, like a current situation like we have now, where we're. We're not quite there, but we're closer to anarcho tyranny, where it's. The good people don't want to do what they should do because they're afraid of what could happen to them. And the bad people are just allowed to do what they want to do. Like, it does create a system where. You know that guy on the subway in New York City?
D
I was just gonna bring that one up perfectly.
B
He's. He was a Marine, Is that correct?
C
Yep.
B
He sees the situation. He does the right thing in the situation. And he's on trial for murder, but he was trying to protect the people around him.
A
What's the story?
B
I've seen some homeless people. Like, I lived in LA for a year. I've seen some homeless people do some crazy shit. I literally saw a guy walking down the street swinging two swords. Don't know where he got them from, but he had two swords. I have three kids of me. Of course I'm going the other way. But like, at the same time, like, if you take responsibility, you're now the bad guy. That's a problem.
D
There was a Marine on a subway with a homeless guy. I Believe he had a knife and was threatening people.
C
And he put him multiple times, put
D
him in, put him in a rear naked choke and ended up killing the guy with a rear naked choke after he was threatening to kill people with a knife and like, acting like he was gonna do it.
B
Daniel Penny was his name.
D
Now, that guy.
A
Oh, I do remember this.
D
Had to go through court for murder charges.
A
Yeah. New York City, right.
B
Lost his job. Got charged. Got charged and gets off. But like, you know, is his life ruined now? I think he, I think. Was it somebody in the president's administration offer him a job or something like that? Or one of his donors exonerated him.
C
Right.
D
That's the thing. It doesn't matter anymore still.
A
And then he's plastered all over the media. Yeah, that guy, essentially. That's like a state, state law type thing though, because it's like Texas or where I'm from, Indiana. If somebody did something like that, I'd be like, well, like the Greenville Mall shooting. It was a, you know, no gun zone or whatever.
C
And then Eli.
A
Yeah, Eli was carrying his 1911, and that fucking kid came out and started killing people in the food court. Whipped out his pistol and dropped him. And he's lauded as a hero, as he should be, because he saved potentially dozens, you know, hundred lives because there's just a mass murderer coming out. But if that happened, like all he did, he. This man used his bare hands to subdue someone with a weapon, and now he's on trial for murder.
B
Well, it's like even I'm in New Jersey and it's like, I think it, they. I think they call it reverse Castle doctrine, where if somebody comes in your home. Yeah, we're allowed to have guns. You can only buy one handgun every six months, and you're limited on the number of long guns you can have. But if somebody comes into your home, you're expected to leave your home, because if you harm them, you could be charged for harming them. Entering your home, even though you live
D
there, you see that you have to
C
flee, if I remember. Unless, like, you have to be expected
B
to flee in a.
C
A room and you can't go anywhere. And that's the only reason you can actually engage the target.
B
That's insane, though. Like, that's your home. You should be able to protect it.
A
Oh, 10,000%.
C
I have.
A
Preaching to the choir, sister.
C
Three bedside guns. Hi. We all have bedside guns.
D
Multiple.
A
Plenty within arm's reach.
C
It's just one of those.
B
But like, when the system goes in that condition, like it's an ARCO tyranny. It's where the bad people are good and the good people are bad, and it makes people not take responsibility.
D
Oh, you mean like arresting your most decorated war hero like that?
B
Yeah.
D
Yeah. How?
C
Like what? Who said something like, we need to
D
look, they're gonna start. They're gonna start treating good men the same way they treat guns. That's what's gonna happen.
B
And then you know what happens? No more good men.
C
Oh, yeah. And then hard times.
B
Exactly.
C
Brandon, what shirt are you wearing?
B
Well, I'm glad you asked, Eli. I'm wearing my poncho shirt.
C
That's not what a poncho looks like. It looks lightweight and breathable.
A
It is lightweight and breathable.
B
It's also fantastic for summer because, like
A
said, it does breathe.
B
It's very lightweight, and it also offers SPF protection.
C
You mean upf?
B
That's what I said.
C
Oh, okay. Bad hearing.
B
Legitimately on the campaign trail, these ponchos
A
were basically my everyday attire.
B
It's just the perfect mix between looking professional, feeling good, and just being fairly casual.
C
Is that the. The western style? I'm just guessing because the pearls.
A
It is.
B
Once you go pearl snap, you never go back.
C
The best promo for this. They weren't our sponsor. The guys and all of us wore them before.
A
Oh.
B
We sought them out as a sponsor.
A
We were already in love with the
B
shirts and we were asking them, money, please.
C
That's the best sell pitch.
A
It's the best endorsement I can give.
C
So if you're looking for a lightweight, comfortable shirt for the spring or summer, look no further than Poncho.
B
Go to poncho outdoors.com unsub for $10
A
off your first order.
C
Poncho outdoors.com unsub go check it out. Even going to Connor's question with everything, like how you see America repeating certain elements we were talking about over there. He brought coins. Thank you so much for the amazing coins.
B
Yeah. Shout out to Kinser Coins who. Who sent them to me to give to you guys.
C
We pop them over there. So we got some actual Roman coins that are, what, two, 3,000 years old?
B
2,000 years old.
C
Wild. But the currency being like the precious metals getting reduced year by year, and that's even. We see that now with quarter silver dollars.
B
But I think how it's done now is kind of more insidious, you know what I mean? Because inflation, the way it works now is a tax on the money you already have.
C
Well, go like, even explain the money. How much was reduced from the pure. The Purity of it.
D
Sorry. I know this is a bad idea. I think Conor's gonna be able to tell me why it's a bad idea.
C
Let's hear it.
D
I think that we should just get rid of taxes and the government can just print the fucking money that it needs and then we all pay a flat tax as inflation.
C
I'm fine with flat tax.
B
I'm fine with the flat tax. That's fair.
D
The flat tax is the inflation though. Like don't even collect money. Just print the money you need and my money devalues. It functions as a flat tax.
B
It's only going to last so long though. Eventually it's all going to class.
D
I'm aware. But that's everything.
B
You'll be done by that.
D
Yeah, exactly.
A
I have the exact same thought process too. Because we're trillions of dollars in debt to the rest of the world. I think we should just restart from
B
a trillion dollar coin. Isn't that how it works?
A
Or we just tell China we're not paying. What? We just default on it. It's no big deal.
D
What are they going to do? I've brought this up before. America runs on the lead standard. You keep loaning money to the homeless guy and he owes you a lot of money, but he's just been buying guns. What are you going to do?
C
Just livestream America? Be like, okay, delete zero.
D
Yeah.
A
Enter no more next day prime delivery. Good news. No more trillion dollar debt.
B
They should do what they did in medieval society. They had the. Have you heard of the color concept of a jubilee? Every hundred years they'd wipe out all debts.
D
Go on.
B
And, and they did this in the Middle Ages. It was done through the, through the, the Catholic church when it kind of like ruled everything. Every 100 years they'd wipe out all the debts.
A
God.
D
I have a stupid question. Is this where the concept of a 99 year lease comes from?
B
That I don't know.
D
Okay. I don't know why my brain went there.
B
I wish I knew. But I don't know.
C
Is it like from a hundred years when you first started that? Or is it like on. Huh?
B
No, it's just year 1000.
C
It's wiped out again. Because you're just buying everything.
B
No, it was every hundred years. So it's like, you know, if you didn't live long enough, it sucks to be you. But like if you were alive when that happened. Hey, great time to be alive. No, the debt jubilee.
C
I like it.
A
I'll say.
D
Let's.
A
Let's run that backrock's.
B
Like, hell, no. But like, I guess if you want to look at how inflation works. Right. I think just to explain the concept modernly to people, the Federal Reserve likes to use great words for this to confuse the hell out of you. But they use the word quantitative easing, which they shortened to QE, QE1, QE2. That just means they printed more money. So the dollar in your pocket is worth less.
C
Quantitative easing and explain money.
A
Printer Gober. There you go.
B
But quantitative easing is just the idea that we print more money. So every time that we need to pay for something, we don't have the money, we just print more money. Like even we did a lot of that stuff during the pandemic where they were giving people money, it's because they were just making money out of thin air. And it's because our money isn't backed by anything. You can thank Richard Nixon for doing that in 1970 and taking us off the gold standard. But I think that's a lot more insidious because most people don't understand it. They just think, oh, things are getting more expensive. And in reality, sure, costs do raise, but they don't raise them the way that you feel it. They raise because your dollar now buys less. So somebody else needs more dollars to buy something. In Rome, it wasn't quite as insidious because they had like. This is a silver coin here. This is valerian. He's the Roman emperor that's captured by the Persians and used as a footstool. He's the first Roman emperor to be captured.
C
Next question.
B
Well, there's two. There's two. There's two theories about that too. There's one that he was captured and used as a footstool, one that he was a footstool for a while, then they flayed him and hung him on the wall. But the thing that's more insidious about that, that's less insidious about how the Romans did it, is their silver coin in the first century was 95% pure.
A
Pure silver.
B
Pure silver. Because the denarius, their main coin was silver based. They had gold coins circulating around. But the problem they had is if somebody got a gold coin, they'd keep it it because they're not going to spend it because it's worth something. So there was hoarding of gold. That was a real problem. So what would happen with the silver? And this really starts after the death of Commodus, who's the son of Marcus Aurelius Joachim Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix.
A
Yeah.
B
Clef Lip and everything, but he the guy that takes over, it's called the Year of Five Emperors. The last guy to come out on top is this guy named Septimius Severus. And, and the thing he does is he doubles legionary pay and he gives them the largest gift ever. Because every time someone become emperor they'd give a gift to the military. They called it a donative. And each emperor after that is going to use that pattern of then doubling military pay. So the way they do that then is by adding other metals to the silver to dilute it. So by the time you get to the 270s, so we're like less than 300 years down the road, that same coin is somewhere between 2 and 5% pure.
D
Connor.
A
Yes. Mr. Slate. Yes.
B
What pursuit are you over there?
A
How did the military service work at this point in time? Was it mandatory or voluntary?
B
That's a good question.
A
Thank you. You're welcome.
B
Sorry, I'm in teacher mode. So in the Roman Republic, Rome was mainly a citizen army, like you were defending your country because it was your country. In the late republic there's a guy named Gaius Marius and he does these major military forms. One of the first is he creates the Roman standard, the eagle that you always see as the symbol of Rome. He's the guy that creates that. He also changes fighting styles a little bit, but he takes and makes it a private military force. Meaning that, well not private but like a professional military force. And so now your career was you were in the military, you weren't like a farmer that was going to go defend your country and then you go back to defend to farming when you're done.
A
Full time job soldier.
B
Right. And what that does is it starts to create loyalty to generals versus loyalty to the country. Because now if their general is successful and he makes more plunder or whatever it is, they make more money because they would get to split part of what they took. So this is going to become more of a problem as in the third century when I was talking about Severus, he's a governor, he becomes a general later on, but he's a governor that basically takes his own troops and attacks Rome and declares himself Emperor. So if you're general's emperor, it's a really good thing for you. So in the third century what you start having is military regiments start declaring their general to be Emperor and all of these guys start attacking each other. So in a 50 year period you have somewhere between 25 and 30 guys claiming to be Emperor. And the problem you're going to have with that is it's going to drive inflation harder. So it doesn't start as a problem, but it becomes a problem because how the function works because they get to split the, you know, the bounty or whatever it is. And if their guy's the emperor, which is the new route to becoming emperor, that's a real problem.
D
Most people would rather attend a corporate
C
team building workshop than search for auto and home insurance. Go team. Feel that synergy. That's why the zebra searches for you. Comparing over 100 insurance companies to find
A
savings no one else can Compare.
C
Today@thezebra.com who's ready for the trust fall? I'm just thinking how wild that would be of going deploying overseas. And they're like, by the way, whatever we take, we keep and we get a split.
A
Going wild, brother.
D
How much oil you'd have.
B
Yeah bro, I would take that home with you.
A
The guys who raided the flasks Hussein's palace, all the gold that they found at Saddam Hussein's palace.
C
Oh Evan, he was there so he has like pictures of him laying in dump trucks that are just piled with gold bars. Just laying on the gold bars. They would take out lambos. They were just ripping around just green braes having the best.
B
But the reason I was talking about it being like less insidious then is because for them, they saw their coins getting lighter. They saw the color changing and by the time you get to the the late third century, so in like, you know, the 280s to 270s, it would be a bronze coin with a silver coating on it and that would actually flake off in someone's hand. They would see it and they would feel it and they would know that their currency is changing. I just don't think a lot of people know that here. They think that things are just getting more expensive when in reality, sure, prices do change, but for the most part if your dollar is worth less and it doesn't go as far, it's a tax that you don't realize you're paying. And most people don't know that.
C
Oh yeah, yeah, increase taxes, that will fix everything.
D
Yeah, I can balance any budget as long as you legalize me stealing these people. It's my official policy.
B
But I think as well too like even getting back to the idea of like, you know, military service as well, like in the Roman Republic and also in the early to mid empire, these politicians and even later emperors would be the ones leading their armies. And I just think that if politicians like, you know, Lindsey Graham. Like, if they had to think about what they were doing and they had to be a part of it, they would look at it differently. Right. And they would also treat their troops differently too. So I think things like that would change function a lot.
D
I want to go back to when politicians were fighting each other.
B
My favorite meme is somebody took Lindsey Graham's head and they stuck one of Those World War I German army helmets with the point on it. You gotta go.
D
You gotta go die in Iran, everybody. It's not even that. It's just they're too old to understand anything.
B
Well, I think they'd also value life more. Right. Like, you know, they would look at the decisions they're making because they had to be a part of them. You know, I think that's also a big part of it.
D
Yes. I just get frustrated watching like, like Mark Zuckerberg getting interviewed by my, the leaders of the free world and they're like, is the WI fi connected to my phone?
C
Yeah.
D
Like, what?
B
Did you see the one in court where when everybody had to go to court virtually because the, the pandemic and everything and the judge had turned himself into a dog and he didn't know how to turn it off?
A
Yeah.
D
Oh yeah.
B
It's like a cat or the lawyer. I'm sorry.
A
Yeah, I just saw one the other day. It was like the guy, the judge
B
is like, like, you're a dog. He's like, I know. And I don't know how to stop it.
A
I saw one of the guy, the guy's attending his like court hearing and the guy, the judge goes, your name is Robert Smith, correct? And he's like, yes sir. Yes, your honor. And he goes, so it's not but 6000 cuz his, his little name tag on the bottom didn't realize, but so they did because I, I was going to ask that follow up question. He said he was the Persian footstool.
B
Yes.
A
So he got captured, obviously. How? He was leading troops into battle.
B
So he was leading troops into battle.
A
Where at?
B
This was in Sassanid, Persia. So it's like part of modern Iran, not the whole thing, because the Persian empire was a lot larger and over time it gradually kind of shrinks and becomes other states and things like that. But Rome and Persia have a long track of kind of going back and forth and there's kind of early Persian empires that they deal with, but the one that they're dealing with that time is called the Sassanids. And they were like an upstart, if that makes sense. Because Persia had been kind of dormant for a while. And then there's this guy named Shapur the first, who basically decides, since Rome's going through a problem right now, it's third century, where the center is becoming really weak. So the west breaks off and forms its own empire called the Gallic Empire. The east breaks off and forms its own empire called the Palmyran Empire. So the empire itself is starting to kind of fall apart. Now. It doesn't fall apart into those three pieces until after Valerian is captured. But there starts to be signs of kind of what's happening and that Rome's very weak. So Persia decides the Assassin and Persians, that they're going to invade Rome because they realize Rome can't stop them. So Valerian leads troops into battle, he's captured, and he's used as a footstool for the rest of his life. There's actually a statue of this in Tehran. And it was kind of in pop culture, I think, in like, December of like, hey, we've got a statue here of the Roman emperor being used as a footstool. So he's basically captured by the Shapur the first. And the reason it's the ultimate embarrassment to Rome is because if Rome was the superpower, it had always been. They just go and take him back. They can't take their own emperor back. They just declare a new emperor. The next guy is a guy named Gallienus. So it does be. Yeah, you love that name. There's another one you really love.
A
They had an emperor named Gay Anus.
B
You'd love this one. The one. One of the emperors, year of five emperors. One of them. His name is Didius Julianus. And he loved.
A
He loved oil.
B
He loved baby oil. But it does. But it. But it shows.
C
It keeps repeating itself.
B
It shows how weak Rome is at this point in time. They can't even go capture their own emperor.
A
And this was in. You said middle third century.
B
This is 260 is when he's captured.
A
Right on. When did the Byzantine split occur?
B
So that's gonna be much later on. So in the 280s, there's a guy that takes over. His name's Diocles. He takes the name Diocletian and he kind of re Establishes Rome, but he forms it in this new way. It's called the Tetrarchy. So it's ruled by four. He creates two senior emperors, one being himself, and two junior emperors. So the east and the west don't split, but they start to kind of function apart from each other. And you're going to see in the late 5th century, Theodosius the Great. He's actually the emperor that makes Christianity the official religion of Rome in 380. So late Constantine. I thought it was no, Constantine in 313. Edict of Milan. And just to correct myself, late 4th century, but because I said early 2nd century, another podcast. I got roasted, you fool.
A
You buffoon.
B
You can't be wrong or the comments eat you alive.
A
Autism.
D
I'm aware. Yeah.
A
We've all experienced it.
B
I try not to read comments.
D
Try talking about a plane or a tank.
B
Did you make a mistake? It's terrible. Like, you make one mistake that's even very slight, and they're like, you know nothing. You know nothing, Jon Snow.
C
But Jeremy, he actually got it.
B
You go do a podcast.
A
David, the edits. When you're like, I'm pretty sure that this happened at this time. And then the, like, super cut edits will cut out the. I'm pretty sure. And so it just sounds like you're so confident about all the information. Bastard made me look like a. I
B
don't even know where I was going.
A
I'm sure every YouTube short.
D
I'm aware.
C
Mick's Barry aware.
B
Sorry, I don't even know where I was going with this. I lost my train of thought.
A
Talking about the east versus West.
B
So Theodosius the Great is the. He makes Christianity the official religion of Rome. Now, Constantine, that was your question. So when he becomes emperor of a United Rome after 311, he defeats the other emperor named Maxentius at that point in time, after a battle called Milvian Bridge in 313, he issues the Edict of Milan. The Edict of Milan. It doesn't make Christianity the official religion of Rome. It just makes it legal. It just makes it legal because though you could practice it and unless you were a pain in the butt, they wouldn't do anything about you, he makes it legal. So Theodosius makes it the official religion of the Empire, but Theodosius is the last emperor to rule a united Rome. There is a time period later on in the late 5th century when Justinian, who's the Eastern Roman Empire emperor, is going to reconquer the west and kind of, for a little period of time, rule both again. But that split really happens after Theodosius. Theodosius takes his two sons, he puts Honorius in charge of the West. I can't remember the name of his other son that he puts in charge of the east, but that really starts to be the division because these two Brothers don't get along, and then what they start doing, since they don't like each other, they start playing barbarian generals against each other. Like, oh, I'm going to use this general against you. And it really starts to make this division pretty solid.
C
That is wild.
D
All royal family.
B
And after rome sacked in 410, the Visigoths sacked Rome in 410. They go to tell Honorius what's just happened, and he doesn't want to be bothered because he wants to go deal with his chickens. He raises chickens in the palace now, and he wants to worry about his chickens and not the fact that his city's on fire.
A
So those two brothers battling internally with each other was what led to the fall of Rome?
B
Well, technically, Theodosius, you could say, because he divides it between his sons and just kind of their disdain for each other is what causes them to be separate. They're not really fighting each other. They would play a barbarian against each other.
A
But paying Germans to kill your brother?
B
Yeah.
A
Tale as old as time.
B
Because the problem you have, after Diocletian, Rome has a lot of trouble defending its borders. So he comes up with a new system called the Federati. And what the Federati are is, or they are barbarian troops that are basically protecting the borders for Rome, and Rome's paying them and giving them a place to live. What ends up happening is their loyalties will shift. So you might be a barbarian general one day, you'll be a Roman general the next day. And that could go from east to west, too. Like, oh, I'm with the Eastern Roman Empire now. I'm with the Western Roman Empire now, depending on what's better for them. So it's something he does that's effective at the moment. That becomes a real problem with the system later on.
C
How. How often are they in war?
B
Cause this all the time.
C
Seems like it is all the time.
B
Like in the. In the. Even during the quote unquote Pax Romana, they're still fighting people all the time. They're just kind of. Things are good for people in Rome, if that makes sense.
A
But.
B
But in that type of a culture, you're always fighting. That's what your culture's built on.
D
Oh.
C
Oh, I would not want to be in the army. Hey, remember the last.
D
Eli, you're in a culture built on fighting wars.
B
I was gonna say wars.
D
And you were in the army. What is it? Is it 18 years in the history.
A
In the history of the US we haven't been engaged in conflict.
B
I believe that's the case.
C
We're really good at it.
A
Yeah, but we don't take territory. I think we should Canada sitting up there.
D
Yeah, we don't take territory. We just make the entire world buy oil using US dollars.
B
We take Greenland.
A
I think we should paint the map. Go full. Full Roman Empire England in the 1600s.
B
They do through banking now though.
C
We don't. We just. We do steal presidents though.
D
I saw. I saw the.
B
He gets used as a footstep.
D
It was a thread from like 2022 and it was just some dude being like, I'm so sick of how people portray special forces guys from the US military. They make them seem like they're. They're space Marines from Warhammer 40K. They can't just send in 12 special forces guys and capture enemy president. They would all get beheaded on tv. And then it's news flash. Three years later, he comes back and there's an edit. Apparently I was wrong, guys, sorry.
B
But they had the discombobulator now, so they're good.
C
This is true.
A
Discombobulator. Right?
C
It is wild watching that level of power. We do have like our military power. Just next level.
A
And
C
other countries like. Or Reddit. Connor gets to enjoy it like I do. Where you see, they're like, Iran won this one.
B
That was.
C
Yeah, that's like the exchange right now they're saying it's like Iran, oh, watching.
B
Yeah, but the ceasefire is over already watching. Yeah, because the Israelis attacked Iran because they said it didn't apply to them. So now Iran said, hey, guess what? The Strait of Hormuz is closed again.
C
My text, I.
A
My text was a conversation last night with somebody who would not like to be named on camera. But I fucking said. I was like, this will last for. I gave it 12 hours until.
B
I don't think it lasted that long.
C
My text to the group.
B
Well, because the first thing was is Israel said it didn't apply to Lebanon. And then I don't know if any military action actually happened with Lebanon. But then not too long after that, they started bombing Iran.
C
What?
D
Israel's loophole.
B
I believe there was a press conference today from Netanyahu that was Talking about
C
it 820, 23pm yesterday, my text. Can we also say it was reading the hey, we're ceasefire, blah, blah, blah. Can we also. Can we also say also, if Israel breaks the ceasefire, we get a bomb the out of them too. That way both sides stick to the plan. That was last night at 8:00pm I was like, this is probably what's Going
A
me look into my crystal ball.
C
Oh, Israel brings a ceasefire.
D
I love, I love all the people that are like, America spending that much money and equipment and manpower to rescue one pilot shows how weak they are. I was like, I don't. That's weapons grade cope. I'm sorry, that's.
A
Dude, I saw a thing and it was like, it was a tweet to the effect of, of that. It was like the fact that America is spending potentially millions of dollars, all this manpower and risking all this equipment to save one person. Why would you even do that? And the response was the fact that you even think this proves that being an American is not just a piece of paper. Like, leave no fucking man behind. We don't give a what it takes.
C
Which is awesome. Like from the military side or veteran. I mean, that is awesome to read where you like, oh, shit.
D
Just captured. They're coming to get me.
B
I don't know.
A
Yeah, no, I, I. Oh, no, it was. You were telling a story at lunch earlier about, Here you go.
B
Here's the quote from Netanyahu. Our finger is on the trigger. This is not the end of our campaign.
D
Super cool.
A
Thanks, man.
B
Yeah.
A
You were telling the story related to the we're gonna go save an American when I think you were talking about you and your wife and brother in law. I think we're in China.
B
I went to China in 2014 and it's annoying to get the visa too. You have to go to New York City and they write a background check on you or anything. So we did our whole China tour and you really shouldn't drink the water there. But their beer is like 2% alcohol. So we just walked around with backpacks of beer all day and drank water. Tsing Sao. Yeah. And we're getting back on the plane to come home. And they had a piece of paper that had my brother in law's face on it, but some Chinese guy's name under it. So they're trying to grab him to pull them off the plane until they realize, I think he's Hungarian, not Chinese, but he almost didn't make it home.
A
Oh, he's Hungarian.
B
It was half Hungarian.
A
Yeah. Oh, I assumed he was American, but
B
they were literally gonna pull him off the plane.
A
I don't know why they were gonna disappear him.
B
They were gonna disappear him. He was, he thought they were that. They thought he was that person because they had his picture with somebody else's name on it.
A
Like faking documents. You're going to the never again camp. And then they went, oh, Wait, white guy.
D
That's why I don't leave America. This is why I don't leave America.
C
Yeah, you just never going anywhere now.
D
How do you say that? Vacation Marks and Caicos.
A
The Turks and Caicos.
D
And Caicos. That one story about the dad that got busted and was like in prison there for a year.
A
Well, with the bullet. Yeah, yeah.
D
It's such a. Like, he had a bullet floating around in his duffel bag because it was also his hunting bag. So they tried to put him in prison for 15 years for smuggling firearms into the country.
A
That story haunts my mother because she knows how much I like, shoot.
D
Yeah.
A
So every time I travel, she's like, you don't have any bullets in your bag, do you? I'm like, no, mom. A range bag over here, travel bag over here.
D
Some people are worried about, like, flying in America with a. Like, like, are you sure you don't have a knife or anything in your.
B
Is that.
A
I was going to say that's happened where you go to security and then they just. You're like, fuck.
B
And they're like, jump it in the garbage last night. And I had like. I was using this bag last week when I was driving someplace and I had my knife in it, and I'm going through TSAs where I'm like, I really hope I remember to take that knife out of my bag.
C
Dude, we had. I think I said it shot show one year. I'm like, make sure all guns are like, we didn't pack any guns.
B
Blah.
C
Okay, everything is good.
B
Cool, cool.
C
Boom. We land, get to the hotel, open up the check in, and there is a gun with a round in the chamber right there. It's like, yo, what the. I thought we went through this. Oh.
D
Huh.
C
Like, we are so lucky that. What the fuck?
D
But the TSA's never caught anyone.
A
I have a very American follow up story to that. I just pure blind. Thank you, God. Luck. Forgot that I had a gun in my glove box because there's a lot laying around. And just for whatever reason, opened my glove box and was like, oh, okay. I left a pistol in here. Close it. I got pulled over for speeding. Ended up getting a warning, but got pulled over and I was like, had I not seen that hours before? So obviously I did the, you know, the proper, like, officer, before we even begin, want to let you know there is a firearm in the glove box. That's where the paperwork is. So he asked, you know, he's like, can I go and take it out, Unload it. I was like, of course, sir, but had I not double checked that, it would have been like, let me grab the registration. Thunk, pistol, slow, turn and look. Yeah, I get you my one.
C
Well, there.
B
There was one. So, like, New York, New Jersey. Jersey and Pennsylvania, they all, like, meet in the same spot. And there was a woman from Pennsylvania, it was like 10 years ago, and she's driving into New York State. She gets pulled over for speeding, and they search her car and find the gun, which she can legally have in her own state, but she's in New York state now. Screwed.
C
Oh, if you gun laws are fucking stupid, you shouldn't.
D
It should be universal gun law. Like the fact that you can. I live 30 miles from the Minnesota border, and it's like, I can't legally because I don't have, like, a Minnesota permit. You know what I mean? It's like you can cross the Minnesota border on 300 gravel roads between Iowa and Minnesota. It's like, I shouldn't be up for federal prison time because I crossed a imaginary line.
C
Yeah.
A
When I moved down to Texas from Indiana, I literally had to route my trip through Tennessee and around. Excuse me, the state of Illinois because of my rifles. It was like I. I checked the. Which my buddy made a joke about it, but I checked the route. If I cut through Illinois, it was, you know, 20 hours and 20 minutes. And if I did the other route through Tennessee and around, it was like 20 hours and 40 minutes. And he was like, 20 minutes on your road trip might save you 25 years in federal prison or in state prison.
C
I didn't realize Grif wants us to go hunting in Hawaii. So I was like, fuck, yeah. Send him a picture of the rifle I just built for hunting. I was like, oh, no, not in Hawaii. Well, it's. Well, it's a bolt, so, like, cool.
A
Yeah.
C
He's like, no, you can't bring the suppressor. He's like, no, I. I'm good. It's like, I've done all the paperwork. He's like, no, those are a hundred percent illegal.
D
In Hawaii, Suppressors being illegal is the dumbest thing on the planet, and people watch too many.
C
England. In England, they're required.
B
Yeah, that's what you can have guns in England.
C
Suppressors.
A
You have to be a member of
D
a club for hunting and shit. You have to. Yeah. A member of a hunting club or
B
whatever, but, like, Australia, you definitely can
D
a lot of places in Europe, in general, you're required to use a suppressor for hunting, so you don't annoy people.
A
That's. Well, in the state law in Indiana they're trying to pass to make suppressors essentially like the same legal status as they are in Texas. The way that the congressman proposed it or state congressman proposed it in Indiana was it was for the protection of. Of hunting dogs hearing. Because everybody loves dogs.
B
Yeah. So it's for the children.
A
Exactly. He's like, no, it's good for dogs ears. Like whatever works, brother.
C
Yeah. Gun laws are one of the weirdest things, especially just be a federal issue
B
because it's like no second amendment legal.
A
Well, yeah, on that.
B
On that regard, like shouldn't a state not be able to like, dude, it is. I like certain things are definitely states rights. But guns are federally legal. Why should states be allowed to regulate
A
them all states rights, rights. I'm glad Alexander Hamilton's dead.
B
You bastard.
A
Aaron Burke shot you in the chest. You.
D
I just want to get a wee
B
hawk in New Jersey.
D
I want to get elected to state senate and I want to start implementing gun laws for cars and see how fast people get pissed at me.
A
What do you mean?
D
I want, I want a background check. Felons can't buy cars.
C
No.
D
You know what I mean? Like I just want to start doing like that.
A
It is a deadly weapon.
D
I want to, I want to ban mufflers.
B
Like band mufflers. You need to get, you need to
D
get a tax everything you want. Yeah, like that's what I want to do.
B
You want a catalytic converter?
C
No, like what the. It's a crime.
B
O2 sensors banned.
C
Oh my God.
D
I want to have maximum capacities on vehicles. Like everything.
A
That's a high limit gas can. Yeah. Or gas station.
C
Just real quick cars. Do you see what Ford did for the Nurburgring?
D
No Ford.
C
Awesome. Good job, guys. They came in and destroyed the record by a goddamn margin.
D
What'd they do?
C
The Nurburgring. There's only I think 12 cars that have done a sub 7 minute lap American. Just last year, at the end of last year with the Corvette and the Mustang GTD were the first ones to break a sub 7 for American cars. Never happened before. And then you have Porsche, the McLaren P1, like these million dollar cars. And then Mercedes AMG1 which is. It's like a 10 million dollar prototype EV slash gas boom. They've owned that. Porsche's own, the Nurburgring, but that was untouchable. America is like, ah, it's America. Ford decided to send their GT like the GT40 is the GT4 version of that. No electric engine, just pure muscle. American Muscle the fastest. Again. You have 12 cars that ever have done a seven sub seven. Every GT did in six minutes, 51 seconds. The Corvette ZR X did it in 649. And then, like, the Porsche GT3 or GT2 did it in 645. And the AMG1 630. Fast lightning fast forward shows up, does it in 615. Good. Everyone's just like, oh, what the.
D
What you gotta remind people it smoked.
A
Yeah.
C
Not 15 seconds.
D
Maybe I'm building 80% of the bombers for World War II. Maybe I'm about to smoke your ass in a fucking race. You never know what I'm up to, dude.
C
Everyone's just like, well, they just dethroned everything. And that car is a $1 million car, but it just destroyed, like, $20 million cars by 15 seconds. The closest one is good job, Ford. America, America fucking proud. What is one of the scariest moments for you now when reflecting on history? When you look at it, you're like, whoa, that's my biggest red flag.
B
That's tough because it's like, I look at the border issue, and that's a major problem.
D
I was. I was like, he's gonna say the 19th Amendment. I know it.
B
No, no, not that.
A
I don't know if you ever met women.
B
No, I'm not. I'm so. There's a lot. There's. There's a lot of bad things that happen in the Progressive Era. I don't think that's one of them, but I do. But the thing I would say is, like, the immigration problem, to me, is a real problem because, number one, we don't know how many people are here is a big part of it. But at the same time, the immigration problem also feeds the inflation problem because of the amount of money federally we give people that are here illegally. That's a big problem. Like, they're being given debit cards with tens of thousands of dollars on. I know. At least in New York State. I don't know about the rest of the country.
A
Plus remittances.
B
Also, here's the one people don't think about.
D
What if I autistically screech? It's a human right. Does that make you feel better?
B
Absolutely.
A
No personality.
B
It'll disarm me in any way.
C
Yeah.
D
Good.
C
They are people, too.
D
I'm glad I can help.
B
The thing people don't consider either, though, is also the medical system, because a lot of times they can just walk away from medical bills.
D
Have you considered that? That's also A human right.
B
It might be. I don't know.
C
I hate this version of Nick.
D
What if I told you it's a human right? Right.
B
Can we just dye his hair blue?
C
Nick with a bob cut? Communist Nick.
A
Here's this boy's nose. No, wait.
B
So I think the immigration issue is a huge problem, but I think the money problem's worse. Because if you have a strong currency, you can actually deal with the other problems for a longer period of time. Like, good money buys you time. And I think when you don't handle your currency, the thing you have to look at, right? So we have a lot of people that are here illegally. If the money isn't worth anything, what are they here for?
A
Right?
B
They're here for the ability to be in America and have our currency. And that's a similar problem that you see in Rome. Rome doesn't fall. It doesn't collapse. It kind of slowly slides into being something else. Because by the time they get to their money being worth nothing, most of the people fighting in the military at that point aren't even Roman anymore. And after the sack of Rome in 410, most of the Roman emperors are just basically being propped up by barbarian generals. The last emperor of Rome is a teenage boy named Romulus Augustulus, and he's deposed by a barbarian king named Odoacer. And he gives him a pension, he retires him, pays him every year until he dies. He probably lives sometime into the sixth century. We don't quite know when he dies. He just kind of falls off the historical map at some point. But he takes the imperial regalia, sends it back to the Eastern Roman Empire, said, hey, there's no emperors anymore. I'm the king of Italy. And when you look at it, when money is worth nothing and the people that are in a place are there just for the goodies or the currency, whatever it is, that's when you kind of cease to have a civilization. To me, ethics of politicians isn't great. Illegal immigration isn't great. But if you don't fix your currency, you're absolutely screwed. And that's the thing that concerns me more, because we're just spending money like drunken sailors. And I don't really see a way out, because even if our money was backed by something, again, unless we did the cryptocurrency thing, I don't know. Unless our money was backed by something, then you can't really have a strong currency. It's backed by the full faith and credit of the American government right now, which isn't a whole lot. If you look at how we spend money, if it was based on something, we'd be in good shape, but at the same time to play the other side of it. But how do we get it based on something again, because we're so far over our skis. If you look at one of the main reasons that the Eastern Roman empire survives in 314, the Emperor Constantine mints a few hundred gold coins every year until he dies. He's minting gold coins. By the time he dies, the Eastern Empire is on a gold standard. And that's actually going to go without inflation until about the year 1000. So almost 700 years without inflation.
C
Oh, damn.
B
Constantinople is also really, really hard to attack because it's surrounded by water. But at the same time, he fixes the currency. And that's one of the main reasons these survived. Now, it also had more of the wealth and it had more of the ability to feed people because the west had kind of climate had changed and they didn't have the same ability to grow grain. But if we fix our currency, we're in better shape. I just don't know how you do that. And I think that's the major problem. Sorry to give you a problem without a solution. I don't really know. I don't know how you fix it.
C
It.
B
It's kind of above my pay grade, but I see it as the major problem because if you have a strong currency you can deal with.
D
What if we made currency a human?
C
Right.
B
It would just fix everything. What if we just traded seashells again? We went back to wampum. Will we be feeds?
A
Yes. Like, do you think that the having the. Like. I agree with having the gold standard, but do you think that.
B
I don't know if we could go
A
back to that, though.
B
We're so far over.
A
Yeah, we have it.
C
They just won't show us. But it's definitely there.
B
Knox, what happened to that?
D
My favorite part about that is, do you know what all the value that's supposedly in the US treasury is valued at or how it's written down on the books?
A
Yeah, it's based off of. We talked about this the other day. No, it's based off of the standard that they set in, like, based off
D
the standard they did when they confiscated. So I think it's like $42 an ounce is how they're. How it's written on the American books.
A
So, like gold is like 45,400.
B
It's closing at $5,000 an ounce.
A
Yeah.
D
No, on the American books, It's still considered $42 an hour.
B
All right. FDR was the worst president.
A
Told you.
D
Look at that.
B
Confiscated the gold.
A
I stand by.
B
Didn't he actually make it illegal to hold gold for a while?
D
He made it in 1934.
B
He confiscated it.
D
He confiscated it it for $24 an ounce. And then the next year, after they'd confiscated everything, they issued the Gold Reserve Currency Act, I think it was where they basically said gold is now worth $35 an ounce.
B
So now that we have it all.
D
Yeah, now that we have it all, it's also worth more. Go yourselves. I hate fdr.
A
Here's a piece of paper though.
B
Let me introduce you to Woodrow Wilson.
A
No, Woodrow Wilson was a piece of.
D
I'm literally pretty bad. I always have have more room for hate in my heart.
A
Woodrow Wilson, it's everything that has happened, you know.
B
You know, like the last few months of his life. His wife was the president, right?
A
Yeah.
B
He had a stroke and his wife was basically like making all decisions for him.
D
Happened.
B
He, he's on. He's on tour to like pass the League of Nations and he has a stroke.
C
I sat down on a weird mouth
A
talking about Woodrow Wilson. What's going on?
B
Woodrow Wilson, join the League of Nations. He's the devil, mama.
A
The only reason that he became president was because of fucking Teddy Roosevelt.
B
Teddy Roosevelt ran as the Bull Moose Party and it split the vote.
A
Yeah. What would it have been if there was a singular Republican?
B
Who was the Republican candidate? Was it Rutherford? I don't remember.
A
Yeah, Rutherford B. Hayes. And then the Republicans and Bull Moose. It was like 75% of the vote,
B
but they split the vote. So Wilson won.
A
So Wilson won. Fucking bastard.
C
Interesting.
B
And the first movie he played at
A
the White House was Birth of a Nation.
B
And he's not a good guy.
A
No. Was he, was it Cambridge?
B
He went to Princeton.
A
Oh, Princeton, Yeah.
B
He was from the south, but he taught at Princeton. So he was the governor of New Jersey. I don't want him. You can have him.
D
We don't want him either. Nothing good comes from New Jersey.
B
Come on.
C
Ouch.
A
Ouch. Our guest.
D
It's okay, you're Texan now.
C
You're good now. Why, why don't you think we can go to any, like go back to the gold standard or anything?
B
How would you though? Like, because what would you do with. What are we like 34 trillion or closing in a 40 trillion in debt? Like, how do you. How do you handle that? Like, I guess that's the Problem. And that's. That's the part I don't understand, because if. If you did that, how would you crash the system? You know what I mean? I guess that's the real problem is like. Like, are we so far over that there's no way back? I guess is the real problem. I don't have a solution.
C
I don't know.
D
Cryptocurrency telling you.
C
I mean, we had that discuss a few months ago where it was just investing because some of the individuals in charge are starting their own cryptos, Right?
D
Yes.
C
And that's always a good indicator what to invest into.
B
A simple way, too, is also just cutting. Right. Like, we're working. What we were doing with Elon's. Yeah. What was it they. They had cut, like, all the. All the aid we were given to other countries. It wasn't the State Department. Usaid. There we go. Usaid. Like, there. That was like, a good first move. But at the same time, they moved some of the spending on the State Department. We're still doing it, but so, like, we have to cut so we can actually fix it. And even the spending bills, we do. We do these giant omnibus spills rather than individual spending bills. And you make these things that nobody can read, and it's like 9,000 pages. You have 30 minutes vote on it. Like that's a problem. Like that's a real problem.
C
It's one thing we've talked about.
B
So it's like, I guess the first thing is you have to cut. And then you kind of got to see where you stand.
D
Can we cut Stupid research. I get so annoyed.
B
Like the one where they were dealing with the dogs with Fauci.
D
Any of them. I'm so sick of seeing.
A
I just paid the P tax.
D
I'm so sick of seeing like.
B
Like gender studies in Indonesia.
D
Just like new study confirms. Insert some common sense shit that we've known forever. Like somebody with a PhD, got a doctorate degree to figure out if it hurts to slam your dick in a car door for seven years.
B
I think that would probably hurt the.
A
The news article where it's like, scientists conclude dye included in Doritos can turn mice invisible. And then the top comment is, is this good? What the are we supposed to do?
C
I don't think a lot of people realize that. The main thing is they do not realize how much money we waste goes to fraud or just.
B
Well, even so in California. Did you see the thing that happened. Came out of California, like, last week, which it was the latest one where they looked into tunnel no, no, no, no. The one. Oh, gosh. What do they call it? The counseling you get when you're dying. There's a name for it.
A
Oh, Hospice.
B
Hospice. Thank you. They looked into hospices in California and there are all these hospices where their survival rate's like 80%. You go into hospice like you typically
A
die when you're dying.
B
Like, typically. I think it's like 15% survival rate for hospice. Like there is a survival rate. But they started looking into these hospices that they had, I think like 80 something percent survival rates. And they found out because they didn't have any people in hospice, they were just taking the money. Money. And then we look at what's happening in Minnesota. In Minnesota, they had these giant empty buildings. They were getting all this money. They had the leering center. So it's like you have things like that. We're wasting billions of dollars.
D
When I was an electrician, we had. I was remodeling a VA clinic and they were.
B
And that's where we change my money and we should.
D
They were changing a bunch of this. How stupid the government is though. Like, they were changing a bunch of like office and board meeting rooms into a bigger room for physical therapy. So I was going in, ripping out all these, you know, like commercial throw up walls, redoing all the electrical, redoing the lighting, building this physical therapy room. And the person running the VA camp comes in and we were talking and she's like, yeah, we're never going to use it. I go, what do you mean? She goes, oh, we're also building a new clinic that's going to be done and we're going to move into that clinic before this is done.
B
But we have to spend the money.
D
But we have to spend the money because we allotted it two years ago. So we have to spend the money on it.
B
Because if you don't spend it, you lose it and your budget goes down.
D
Exactly.
B
Yep, that's a problem.
D
That's stupid.
B
There should be a reward for your budget going down.
C
This conversation literally just had this conversation.
B
You cut your budget, you get to keep 10% of it.
A
Yeah.
C
When this is logical is wild to me and it's not being applied with like, hey, this is. Is this common sense? Right? Everyone gets nah, nah, we need to. That.
D
Yeah.
B
They don't want their appropriations to go down.
C
So Nick Shirley, that's the next thing he did after the Minnesota was like, oh, there's a lot of these places in California that are hospice centers and it's just a hotel essentially with an
B
86% survival rate, they have really good hospice services.
A
If I'm dying at home to California and bring you back to life with
C
Ryden for looking for just a facility for ABA in Seattle. It was wild because baby mom was going and asking these things. She's like, man, this feels like a scam. I'm just letting you know. I was like, huh, weird. And then they start adding on. I'm like, oh, they're expecting. This is not private. They're expecting government to pay where I'm paying out of pocket. So they're just trying to. To hit with $3,000 for a single session and then showing up just to view the place with the grand.
B
Well, then New Jersey, I think it's Lakewood, New Jersey. It's like central New Jersey. It's where all like the Hasidic Jewish communities are. They claim to have more kids than they have for the tax deduction. Like, this stuff is a problem. Like, that's a real problem. And we're talking about the national debt and that people can't buy food and we're doing this. Like, that's a real problem.
C
And it's not. Not millions. This is like billions and trillions of dollars that go towards this.
D
I love, I love the Weigart Tower in California.
B
What's the Wegart Tower?
D
The Weigart Tower is the high rise. Yes, the high rise homeless shelter where they built them all studio apartments for $165 million. For 275 apartments. Meaning that is $600,000 per studio apartment.
B
Let me guess. The. The contractor donated to the governor.
A
I just rewatched. There's a clip like the. On the Unsub clips channel of me ranting about when I was in California with Jake and I looked at this building and I was like, what the is this building? Because all of this giant glass tower and it looks like Mad Max. Like the windows are busted out. They're literally one of them. There's a flat screen TV dangling by the power cable, blowing in the wind. And I was like, what is this? And he told me it's that. It's that. That high rise building that they built for the homeless people, which apparently did not work out. It looks, yeah, it looks like a third. Like it looks like it was, I think it was six months old at this time. And it looks like, you know, like a dystopian futuristic movie where every. All the windows are blown out and there's graffiti all over everything. But I just saw some breakdown of the financial spending that California or Los. I think it was Los Angeles county specifically had spent on attempting to solve the homelessness crisis in the last maybe five years. I'm pulling this out of my ass, like, five years. And it was a few hundred million dollars. And when you break it down, this guy's going through, like, what they could have bought instead of. Of how they wasted this money, like on that tower. Well, that was a few hundred million dollars, so maybe it was in the billions.
D
I think it was 8 billion. I know the stat you're looking at.
A
Yeah. So at the end of it, it's like they literally could have given each homeless person, like, $180,000 cash.
C
You gotta pull that 160, $1,000 per person because, oh, what's better about the 24 billion dollar bill? When they were building all these apartments, they spent 600 million and they go, oh, we don't have enough. Scrap it.
B
Walk away.
A
That's what they did.
C
They just walked away.
B
So I'm in like the metro area for New York City, right? Like, I'm like 45 minutes to an hour from the city without traffic. You know, with traffic, it's a couple hours. But the Roosevelt Hotel is where they're keeping a lot of the. Like, it's not a hotel anymore. They're using it as a shelter for a lot of the illegals that are coming out. If you walk out front of it, there's a dumpster standing out front. People don't believe me until they walk down the street. Somebody just texted me about this other day. He's like, it's real. It's there. There's a dumpster out front where all of the stuff they're collecting to, like, give to the illegals. Like, the new stuff, there's brand new strollers, kids, stuff just thrown in a dumpster. Your tax dollars bought that stuff that's sitting in the dumpster, like, oh, we have so much other stuff. We don't want this other brand new stuff you're giving us. Like, there's so much wasted money. It's a real problem.
A
Can't go to Americans. God forbid.
B
People don't believe me until they go to the city. They look at the Roosevelt Hotel, they see the dumpster out front. They're like, that stroller still has the tags on it. What is happening? Your tax dollars bought that stroller that they didn't want that's in that dumpster.
C
It's the wild thing. And it's hard to show because you will have that blind faith. The government's Good. They love you and they would never do that. And if you present it, you're just racist.
B
Or was it Ronald Reagan said that the scariest words are, I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
C
What? But it's just crazy. That is a problem and still not addressed in any ways.
B
But this goes back to Rome, right? Like if you destroy your money, you know, you can. Like the other two problems that I talk about that you see in collapsing societies, they aren't great, but you can work around them if you have a strong currency.
A
What are the other two problems? Sorry.
B
So the other two are a border control issue, like Rome in the third century. Rome stopped. Stop caring about their borders. And then also, politicians get shortsighted and just care about now. They don't care about the future. They don't care about what they're creating for future generations. But if you destroy your money like this, especially with all this wasteful spending that nobody's doing anything about, they're just allowing them to do it, you're in big trouble. You really are.
D
You're right. We should let everybody vote on it.
C
What?
A
That's the clip.
C
I never said that.
A
We got Communist Nick, famed communist communism lover.
B
Because it's a human right.
D
Yeah, fuck it. Why not? I think I just, you know, the older I get, the less cool democracy sounds. I can tell you the moment I lost faith in democracy.
A
When's that?
D
I was in a Verizon and I'm sitting there getting a new phone.
A
Oh.
D
And this woman walks in and she's got a. A surge protector power strip with like the seven plugins in one hand and her phone charger in the other hand. And she storms up to the guy that's helping me and he's like, can I help you, ma'? Am? She goes, yeah, I was just here the other day and I bought this phone charger. He goes, okay. And she goes, it doesn't work. And he goes, like when you plug it in, it doesn't charge the phone. She goes, I can't even plug it in. He goes, what do you mean? And she grabs the brick and the receptacle and you know how they have the fold in prongs now?
B
Oh, she couldn't fold them out.
D
They were folded in still. And she just smacks two pieces of plastic together like he's a idiot. And he grabs it and folds out the prongs and plugs it in for her. And then she feels dumb and goes, thanks, and storms out. And I was just like, her Vote counts for as much as mine.
A
Nick's told this story before.
D
I have.
C
Yeah, I forgot.
A
I used to work at a Verizon store. Trust me, the amount of people I would, I would sell them a cell phone and then they would come in and they'd be like, my Facebook doesn't work. And I'm like, what? They're like, facebook doesn't work. Just boomers. And I would have to. I'd be like, okay, so you. They don't know how to log into Facebook. Like, what's your.
D
What do you. What do you mean you don't know my Facebook password?
A
That's what would happen.
D
It's on the cell phone. You're the cell phone guy.
A
It's my job to sell you the fucking phone. I don't. It's on you to figure out how to work it. They're so intuitive. We're literally deja vu. We've had this exact conversation before. They're so intuitive. You can see videos of like people on missions in like Sub Saharan Africa and they hand, like some kid in a grass skirt an iPad and they figure it out like instantaneously. It's very intuitive.
C
People struggle. I'm trying to find the one where it was against Elon, and it was an upvoted comment of Elon could give everyone 1.2 million, every United States
A
citizen,
C
citizen, $1.2 million and he would still have millions for himself. That's how selfish he is. And if you upvoted to the top, I'm like, oh my God, this means
B
she thinks he has all that money liquid.
D
It's not even that. He doesn't even have that much money.
A
It's simple division.
D
The real math was like a thousand dollars. It was insane. And the math was wrong. The concept's wrong. And the amount of grown ass adults that genuine genuinely think Elon Musk has $700 billion sitting in a checking account that he's just not giving to the federal government as fucking.
B
You know how stupid it would be if you had it just sitting in a checking account?
A
Oh Lord, when I was 10, goes under, he's broke. When I was 10 and found out that they didn't just have a mountain of gold in the vault holding on to the Scrooge McDuck, $8,000 into my account. What do you mean you don't have a drawer with 8,000 thousand of my dollars in it?
B
So, kid, we're going to talk about something called fractional reserve banking. This is going to hurt a little bit.
C
Oh, man.
B
But trust me, afterwards you'll feel better.
C
Jeremy, before we move to the after show, where do the people find you?
B
So I'm on all socials. I'm Eremy Ryan Slate. My company is Command your brand. We help our clients to get on podcasts and I have two YouTube channels, the the Roman pattern and Hidden Forces in history.
C
Dude has been a pleasure. Thank you so much for coming. This is I love got TM for two hours.
A
I love the back and forth between modern day rants and ancient Roman history. Rode the roller coaster.
B
It works though.
C
Oh it's going to do real good. Everyone's like autism for two hours.
A
Best tax how we all started out.
B
I have have unmedicated adhd. No, that's what boobs is for.
A
Thank you once again for joining us today on the unsubscribe podcast. As always, I was joined by Eli Double Tap, Nick the fat nutrition and Mr. Jeremy Ryan slate as well as myself, King Trout. Thanks for hanging around.
C
Fish man extraordinary around for the after show. We've done one story at the beginning. You'll see the rest. We love you.
B
This is the new Weight Watchers built for real life and real results no matter what mode you're in. Maddie went all in for her big day and lost 33 pounds. Emily lost 85 pounds and hit her goal while still living her life.
D
Weight Watchers gave me the tools and I feel amazing.
B
Join the millions of members and lose weight with the number one doctor recommended weight loss program. Lose more@weightwatchers.com at 6 months participants in a clinical trial of Weight Watchers program lost an average of £12.
Host(s): Eli Doubletap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator, The Fat Electrician
Guest: Jeremy Ryan Slate (Roman Empire expert)
Date: April 19, 2026
In this episode of the Unsubscribe Podcast, the crew is joined by Roman history expert Jeremy Ryan Slate for a deep-dive into the parallels between the fall of the Roman Empire and modern-day America. Through wide-ranging discussion, humor and irreverent banter, they trace ancient political turmoil, inflation, and societal decay, examining how echoes of Rome’s troubles are visible in current events, government, and culture. The episode incorporates anecdotes from Roman history, military tangents, political critiques, and thoughtful reflections on currency, governance, and societal health.
This episode masterfully weaves together irreverent humor, compelling historical anecdotes, and insightful critique of present-day American society. The conversation reinforces historical cycles: the warning signs from ancient Rome—debased currency, political self-dealing, and border neglect—are dangerously resonant. Jeremy Ryan Slate’s expertise, the crew’s wit, and vivid parallels between Rome and America make for an engaging exploration of why history matters—and what happens when its lessons go ignored.
Guest Links:
Hosts:
For additional resources and further reading, check the podcast’s official pages and guest channels.