Unsubscribe Podcast #245: "Sam Houston, White Slurs & The Problem With Police"

Hosts: Eli Doubletap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator, The Fat Electrician

Guest: Jake Bar None
Release Date: January 4, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode dives headfirst into the gang's trademark irreverent humor but also lands on some surprisingly thoughtful discussions. History, parenthood, gun culture, social media, the challenges of policing, and the weird, winding quest for a genuinely offensive white slur all get their moment. With recurring bits, liberal doses of self-deprecation, and a strong “we’re just here to make each other laugh” energy, the conversation ping-pongs between roast sessions, dark humor, and sincere takes on modern society.
Special guest Jake Bar None weaves in stories of going viral, being a lineman, close calls, fatherhood, and what it’s like when your online irreverence bleeds into real-life intensity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up & Podcast House Nostalgia

• The crew reunites after some weeks, reminiscing about prior episodes and their live tours ([01:27]-[02:13]).
• Recalling their interview with Major Jim Capers, recognizing him as a tough, no-nonsense veteran whose stories leave lasting impressions.
  • Quote: “One of the top comments was, this guy doesn’t have PTSD, he gives PTSD.” — Eli Double Tap ([02:50])

2. Texas History Tangent: Sam Houston & Presidents of Texas

• Deep dive (sort of) into Texas’ history, with Jake humorously insisting on murky details about Sam Houston, Andrew Jackson, and Texas presidential succession ([04:30]-[09:00]).

  • Quote: "Sam Houston was Andrew Jackson's protege. Is that where you're... Yes." — Jake Bar None ([08:11])
  • “Your degree of confidence is alarming to me.” — Brandon Herrera ([08:15])

• Plenty of joking about "President of Texas," which turns into the gang’s typical riffing style.

• Teasing Brandon Herrera about running for Congress instead of being the “President of Texas.”

3. On Parenthood, Loss, and Classic Unsubscribe Humor

• Candid talk about the joys and trauma of parenting, child loss, and the shock (and awe) of witnessing birth up close ([37:11]-[48:44]).

  • Quote: “Having a kid is just keeping cum as a pet.” — Jake Bar None ([53:11])
  • Donut Operator shares a notably graphic umbilical cord story: “I cut the cord and it just sprayed in my mouth and all over my face.” ([41:13])

• Touching moments about miscarriages, what it’s like to be a dad, and the “magic” of being there for births, surrounded by slapstick humor.

4. Cronicles of Going Viral & Social Media Content

• Jake recounts his journey from union lineman in Colorado to social media personality—starting TikTok to connect with his younger brother ([23:19]-[28:21]).
• The gang discusses the pressures and oddities of online fame, trolls, and their DIY approach to content: “I say some fuck shit... and then I walk inside my house and go hang out with my children.” — Jake Bar None ([27:05])
• On not relying on algorithms, but building a durable brand (“GFC” stands for whatever you want: Get Fcked, Give Fck, Grotesque Fat Child, etc.) ([28:21], [131:39])

5. Working as a Union Lineman – Danger & Gory Stories

• Both Jake and Donut Operator swap stories about climbing utility poles (“gafing”), with a hair-raising account of a colleague being impaled by a giant splinter ([28:27]-[31:32]).
  • “Dude dropped just like three feet... there’s just like a little spike and it could be, you know, like two inches around. It just goes up your ass and shoves you in the heart.” — Donut Operator ([29:17])
• The group riffs on dangerous blue-collar work, mortality, and “a thousand ways to die.”

6. ‘White Slurs’ and the Search for the Offended White Guy

• Extended comedic segment about how slurs toward white people lack punch or edge ([65:23]-[73:15]).
  • “I want to be offended at this point. I want to be offended. Give me something!” — Dawn Operator ([67:13])
  • The gang invents "plop," "milk cricket," "mayonnaise monkey," and agrees “there’s not a funny slur” for whites.
  • ChatGPT’s refusal to generate a white slur gets roasted for its safety ([72:01]).

7. Gun Culture, Encounters with Threats & Road Rage

• Intense stories of run-ins with potential carjackers/ armed road rage ([77:28]-[88:44]).
  • “When I see a firearm... at that point I just pin it. I duck my head, pin it.” — Jake Bar None ([80:03])
• The crew discusses personal defense mindset, police interactions, and the danger of irrational actors on the street.

8. Swatting, Doxxing, and the Dangers of Online Fame

• Donut Operator shares experiences being swatted five times, including by trolls who didn’t understand the mortal risks ([96:46]-[104:35]).
  • Quote: “I always set my bedside up to where I have the best angle. So I would have killed like four or five dudes. And they would have killed me.” — Donut Operator ([99:28])
• All agree swatting should be prosecuted as attempted murder, as it intentionally provokes deadly police response ([108:21]).

9. Policing: The George Floyd Era, “Broken Windows,” and Privately-Policed Neighborhoods

• Rant on how post-2020 policing has changed, with newer officers less willing to enforce, veteran cops retiring, and neighborhoods being left to “privatized” policing ([117:41]-[126:41]).
  • Quote: “Policing is dead." — Dawn Operator ([117:41])
• “Broken Window Policing” explained: patrol run-down, high-crime areas proactively, not waiting for crimes to react to.
• Bitingly honest about race, class, and the failure of policies designed to “defund the police.”

10. Women in Policing & Military Standards

• Discussion about female officers and military standards—arguing excellence should be defined by capability, not gender ([110:16]-[114:10]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|----------------|-------| | 02:50 | Eli DoubleTap | "One of the top comments was, this guy doesn’t have PTSD, he gives PTSD." | | 08:15 | Brandon Herrera| "Your degree of confidence is alarming to me." | | 37:11 | Brandon Herrera| "That's how that works. How do you like being a parent, though?" | | 41:13 | Donut Operator | "I cut the cord and it just sprayed in my mouth and all over my face." | | 53:11 | Jake Bar None | "Having a kid is just keeping cum as a pet." | | 67:13 | Dawn Operator | "I just want to be offended at this point. I want to be offended. Like, give me something!" | | 80:03 | Jake Bar None | "When I see a firearm... at that point I just pin it. I duck my head, pin it." | | 99:28 | Donut Operator | "I always set my bedside up to where I have the best angle. So I would have killed like four or five dudes and they would have killed me." | | 117:41 | Dawn Operator | "Policing is dead." |

Segment Timestamps

• Podcast Reunion / Capers Stories — [00:52]-[03:24]
• Sam Houston & Texas Presidency — [04:30]-[09:00]
• Parenthood, Loss, Birth Stories — [37:11]-[48:44]
• Going Viral & Social Media Grind — [23:19]-[28:21]
• Union Lineman War Stories — [28:27]-[31:32]
• Quest for a White Slur — [65:23]-[73:15]
• Carjacking, Road Rage, Armed Encounters — [77:28]-[88:44]
• Swatting & Doxxing Dangers — [96:46]-[104:35]
• Post-George Floyd Policing — [117:41]-[126:41]
• Women in Policing & Standards — [110:16]-[114:10]

Tone & Language

• Unfiltered, darkly comedic, rapid-fire, occasionally offensive, but often self-aware
• Debates and storytelling blend gallows humor with authentic experience—never shying from sensitive subjects
• The panel rapidly oscillates between meme-laden banter and raw, heartfelt admissions of loss, trauma, and paternal pride
• At heart, a bunch of military/law-adjacent friends, “extremely online,” and determined to take neither themselves nor American culture too seriously—but not unable to get serious when warranted

Closing Thoughts

“Sometimes you record these podcasts and you realize this is the one.”
— Eli Double Tap ([75:31])

A marathon of mayhem, insight, and borderline chaos, this episode is a perfect snapshot of Unsubscribe’s signature style—irreverently tackling hard issues and soft targets in equal measure, raw and unfiltered.