Special Forces Doctor Tells The Craziest Combat Medical Stories | Unsubscribe Podcast 263

Summary

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Unsubscribe Podcast #263

Special Forces Doctor Tells the Craziest Combat Medical Stories
With Eli Doubletap (Tier Simek), Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator, and The Fat Electrician
Release Date: May 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the wildest and most bizarre stories from the battlefield, as told by Special Forces medic Tier Simek (aka Eli Doubletap). With nearly comedic rapport, the hosts and Tier discuss everything from amputations with makeshift tools, the realities of combat medicine, to insights about the VA system, and the oddities of military culture. The tone is irreverent, brutally honest, and darkly hilarious, typical of "Unsubscribe" — equal parts war story and roast session.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tier’s Unconventional Path in the Army

• Background & Enlistment

  • Tier joined the Army in 1995, starting as a cavalry scout, riding actual horses instead of tanks at Fort Hood (04:12).
  • Initially intended to become a farrier (horse shoer), he pivoted to Special Forces after plans fell through.
  • Spent 31 years in the Army, with 25 in Special Operations.
  • "My whole family was in construction... and I just kind of fast forwarded this vision of 10 years construction... I just couldn't see it.” (23:05)

• Becoming Special Forces

  • Followed a rugby teammate to SF selection—a "choose your own adventure" military experience (07:26).
  • Chose to become an 18 Delta (SF Medic) because it was the hardest path, not out of a love for medicine (24:26).

2. The Buzkashi Experience: Goat Dragging with Afghan Warlords

• Playing the Ancient Game

  • While on split-team ops in Mazar Sharif, Tier was drafted into a local game of Buzkashi ("goat dragging") by a local warlord, Kamgar (11:56; 12:34).
  • Vivid descriptions: "There's a headless goat, feet cut off, that's the ball..." (15:05)
  • "I didn't know they were playing for cash... the warlord's representative just hands me this wad of cash. Well, that's awkward." (19:35)

• Movie vs. Reality

  • "12 Strong" film was discussed; Tier clarifies it misrepresents Special Forces teams, as the real leadership is the team sergeant, not the officer (09:02).

3. Combat Medicine: Realities, Challenges, and MacGyvering

• Types of Medical Training

  • SF Medics are trained in trauma, radiology, dentistry, veterinary, family, and tropical medicine, anesthesia, and even minor surgery (40:17).

• Battlefield Amputation Story

  • The Case:

    • An elderly Afghan with a foot pointing 180 degrees the wrong way, left untreated for six months (57:34).
    • Nephew brings him to Tier, requesting amputation: “Can’t you just cut it off?” (58:41)

  • The Prep:

    • Supplies for proper surgery limited; improvises tools: sterilizes a Sawzall blade in a potato chip can filled with Betadine (62:45).
    • "You're gonna cut his leg off with a Sawzall? I'm like, yeah, why wouldn't I?" (63:30)
    • Classic Afghanistan: ring flight delivers six months’ mail and a bone saw — but without handles (63:44).

  • The Procedure:

    • First ever use of a new intraosseous device — with a corpsman reading directions over his shoulder (68:17).
    • "I had a massive amount of confidence in myself that I probably shouldn't have had." (61:15)
    • Use of ketamine resulted in "sex nightmares" for elderly (73:02).
    • “I cut in and he immediately screams... so I juiced him up with lidocaine.” (72:14)

  • The Five Second Rule

    • Accidentally drops the skin flap to be used for the amputation closure: “Five second rule!” (78:41)
    • "Everybody's just like, oh, pizza." (78:35)
    • Legendary team-bonding: everyone gets to put a stitch in.

  • Aftermath

    • The leg is buried so the camp dog (Buckley) doesn't gnaw on it (84:12).
    • Patient returns, motivated to get a prosthetic: “When do I get my wooden leg?” (88:09).

• Medical Advances

  • Calls out that all wars cause leaps in trauma medicine; tourniquet usage in civilian EMS inspired by GWOT (46:41).

4. Military Odd Jobs and Culture

• Other Unconventional Roles
  • Discussed odd roles in the Army (farriers, boxers, ceremonial riders) [36:02].
• SF Medics’ Skill Range
  • Capable of nearly anything medical in austere environments, up to and including dentistry and minor surgery (41:14).

5. Dark Humor: Coping, Camaraderie, and Memorable Quotes

• “I cast sexual trauma,” Brandon, speaking of the after-effects of battlefield ketamine (73:44).
• “One time I threw a crippled Afghani elder into a K hole.” (71:28)
• Sex nightmares, ketamine, and "The Tear Story" become running gags for episode titles and memoirs (73:54, 89:16).
• “It's not too far from the title of my memoir, actually.” — Tier, on the absurdity of his stories (74:00, 89:55).

6. VA Claims, Disabilities, and Helping Veterans

• The Reality of the VA System

  • Tier is open about his retirement, VA disability, and current work advising veterans (102:49).
  • Emphasizes documentation: “If it’s not on paper, it did not happen.” (109:54)
  • Identifies “Special Forces privilege” when claim reviewers see his record: “... demeanor completely changed because they assumed I was not faking...” (105:24)
  • Warns about for-profit "claim sharks" and issues with automation/AI in claims processing (126:09).

• Advice for Vets

  • “Go on va.gov that day. You don’t need a lawyer... Hit intent to file.” (120:59)
  • Encourages using nonprofits like the Green Beret Foundation or county VSOs for help, not lawyers or paid services unless necessary (122:28, 129:08).
  • New role at Xterra Health, offering $500 DBQ letters for claims, but with flexibility for those who can't pay.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Tier on Battlefield Medicine & Attitude

• “I will tell you, in hindsight, that I had a massive amount of confidence in myself that I probably shouldn’t have had… you gotta fake it till you make it, I guess. But I truly believed I could do a lot of these things. And I did.” (61:15)

Sawzall Amputation

• “You’re gonna cut his leg off with a Sawzall? I’m like, yeah, why wouldn’t I?” (63:30)
• “So there was a SMU medicine. A couple years, like two years later, I saw him in clothing and sales. We knew each other in the schoolhouse and he goes… ‘hey, three second rule.’ I said it was five.” (78:46)
• “I cut in, and he immediately screams out. I’m like, that’s not good.” (72:59)

Buzkashi (Goat Game) and Local Diplomacy

• “So, it’s this ancient game that goes back to like the 1200s. It’s super barbaric. It’s full contact. It’s like playing rugby and polo at the same time.” (13:33)
• “We grip and grin… and I don’t know how exactly I got wrapped up into the game. But I ended up being a player.” (14:26)

SF Life & Mortality

• “I was the best doctor within a four hour donkey ride around me.” (40:53)
• “We don’t leave anybody behind, at all.” (29:12)

Dark Humor & Camaraderie

• “I cast sexual trauma.” (73:44)
• “He’s gonna love this. I’m gonna get a giant, thank you, peace out.” — On gifting his Buzkashi prize. (21:24)
• “I am Sex Nightmare.” (89:16, running joke)

Military Oddities

• “I dated a Marine Corps boxer.”
• “What was his name?” — Running bit (36:16, 37:38)
• "It always has to be a Marine Corps joke, doesn't it?" — on service rivalry.

On Administrative Frustration

• “Nothing is implied in the military or the government. God…” — on missing bone saw handles (63:44)
• “Every trauma patient got two large bore IVs as soon as you could get them on… What we learned through war is… unless you’re getting something that carries oxygen, like whole blood, you’re not doing that much for them.” (47:17)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic / Segment | |-----------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:12 | Tier’s military origin story / horse cavalry | | 12:34 | Meeting Afghan warlord Kamgar, Buzkashi explained | | 24:26 | Why Tier chose Special Forces medicine | | 40:17 | Scope of SF medic training | | 57:34–61:07 | The amputation request and prep for Afghan elder | | 63:30–66:09 | Sawzall story, improvising surgical tools | | 73:02–73:44 | Ketamine side effects, “sex nightmares” | | 78:35–79:06 | Dropped skin flap, “five second rule” | | 84:12 | Burying the leg to keep it from the dog | | 88:09 | “When do I get my wooden leg?” – post-op recovery | | 102:49 | Transition to VA/claims discussion | | 109:54 | Advice on documentation for VA claims | | 120:59 | Process for filing VA claims, using intent to file | | 126:09 | Dangers of AI/automation and predatory “claim sharks” in VA benefit applications | | 131:10 | Nonprofit and veteran-owned services; Tier’s new role at Xterra Health |

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Conclusion & Where to Find Tier

Tier Simek shares his wealth of stories with a mix of gallows humor, humility, and deep insight into both the insanity and responsibility of combat medicine. He encourages honesty, documentation, and helping fellow veterans navigate the bureaucracy.

Find Tier on Instagram:
@redleader_standingby — “Make sure that it's the guy with my face and the blue check mark because man I am really really popular in Nigeria.” (133:06)

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Episode’s Core Message

This episode brings unfiltered perspective on what it’s really like to be a Special Forces medic — the innovation, the stakes, the absurdity, and the enduring bonds forged under pressure. It doesn’t just share grisly anecdotes; it advocates for veteran support, the importance of military medical progress, and how laughter amid darkness is a survival skill all its own.

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Memorable Titles Considered During the Episode:

• "K Holes and Sex Nightmares"
• "The Tear Story"
• "Surgery Mixtape"
• “I am Sex Nightmare” Shirts

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Transcript

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Ready to soundtrack your summer with Red Bull Summer All Day Play. You choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end dj, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit red bull.com brightsummerahead to learn more. See you this summer. I dated a Marine Corps boxer.

[Brandon Herrera]

What was his name?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

They looked at me like, you're gonna cut his leg off with a sawzall. I'm like, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Blood squirting everywhere.

[Brandon Herrera]

I cast sexual trauma. One time I threw a crippled Afghani elder into a K hole.

[Donut Operator]

K holes and sex nightmares.

[Brandon Herrera]

The tear story.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's not too far from the title of my memoir, actually.

[Donut Operator]

Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Brandon.

[Donut Operator]

His hair is fucking fabulous. And donut a dark joke disposition.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And there's a fat electrician.

[Donut Operator]

Welcome to Unsubscribe.

[Brandon Herrera]

The soldier on the go.

[Donut Operator]

Brandon hates veterans.

[Brandon Herrera]

We're back to the army.

[Donut Operator]

All army guys are gaming.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I saw your uniform out frontas fairly decorated.

[Donut Operator]

Pretty dope, right?

[Brandon Herrera]

The amount of that was given to us on the live live tour was absurd. I still get like. People still just walk up and give me, like, their family medals and I have to tell them, like, no, please, for the love of God, that's an heirloom.

[Donut Operator]

Hold on. Wow. He's more decorated like John Kerry.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Like he just walked up and gave you medals.

[Brandon Herrera]

I don't know the story.

[Donut Operator]

Pony kick is off.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, well. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the unsubscribe podcast. I'm joined today by Eli Double Tap tier, Simac, Brandon Herrera, myself, donut operator. Thank you so much for being here.

[Donut Operator]

What's up, bitches? We're going in hot tears. Supposed to been on many times, and then the scheduling never worked.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Many times. We're both very busy, busy individuals.

[Donut Operator]

I've known tier for eight years.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's been longer than that, man. We had a reel go wild on my channel, like 1.2 mil.

[Donut Operator]

How long was that views?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That was back in Unicorn Ranch, Salt Lake city. Days. Like 2014. 15.

[Brandon Herrera]

Because, I mean, we've known him for like five years. The. The adaptive archery.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm glad your limbs grew back. That's. That's good.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's super neat. Those guys can. It's not even close. Those guys can shoot better than me. And I've got everything. And there's no excuse.

[Donut Operator]

We're teaching Brandon how To shoot.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

My buddy Caleb out in Arizona has no legs and can do like, 10 times as many box jumps as I.

[Donut Operator]

As I can.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I don't know. How does it work? I don't know.

[Donut Operator]

Lighter.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Pure will, apparently. Yeah. Product placement. Owns Stick Sniper Archery shop out in Arizona. If you're interested in archery, go out there, support a veteran with no legs who does box jumps. Do it. He's a green bray.

[Brandon Herrera]

Good legs. That's what I'm saying.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

How does that.

[Donut Operator]

I think now I'm like.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's called a pull up the torso jump, bro.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I don't. It's defying gravity.

[Brandon Herrera]

Is.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Is what it is. That's what he's doing. Defying gravity for reps. That's a jumping bean. I don't know. Oh, geez. There's the other guy. What's this guy's name? Caleb. Caleb Brewer.

[Brandon Herrera]

No shit?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Great tier.

[Donut Operator]

Where. Now, you have a colorful military background. You did cool guy stuff.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Did some cool guy stuff, yeah. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

I know a little bit about your background, which I want you to tell. Like, hey, explain what you did.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I told all the cool stories at lunch. So this is just going to be us just chatting.

[Brandon Herrera]

Should have been there.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Should have been there. Damn. Where were you, Eli?

[Donut Operator]

I had a meeting for four hours. Two.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Two hours. Two hour meeting, huh? Yeah. Right.

[Donut Operator]

Okay. You want to go on my phone?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's my backstory line. I'll tell you guys.

[Donut Operator]

Businesses run.

[Brandon Herrera]

There's a lot of things I don't want to go through, and your phone is one of them. I. I'm good, brother.

[Donut Operator]

Surprising docile.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Now, I'll give you some wave tops, and then if you want to dive deep into those waves, we can do it, because There's a lot, man. 31 years of service in the Army. I enlisted in 1995, which is before some of the people in this room were born. And I recognize the year I was born.

[Brandon Herrera]

There he is.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Yeah. Wait.

[Donut Operator]

1995.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I enlisted May 4th. May 4th be with you.

[Brandon Herrera]

You've been in the army longer than I've been alive.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

And my future wife. Your.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Yeah. So that is. My back hurts. Like, right now, my back hurts. 25 of that was in Special Operations. And previous to that, I was in the first Cav. But on paper, I. I had a Abrams driver's license is a 19 kilo, but I actually rode horses. For the Army?

[Donut Operator]

No.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Fort Hood, Texas. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

So that's what I didn't know or wasn't sure is what made you. How long did it take for you to. I want to do the special forces route.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Well, see, what happened was I reenlisted to go to Oklahoma Ferry College. Farrier is ferrier. It's multiple syllables, not two. That's people that put the horseshoes on shape, the shoes do all that stuff. They're foot doctors for horses. That's what that.

[Donut Operator]

Okay.

[Brandon Herrera]

I thought it was sparkling water.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Sparkling. That's sparkling pony. Ah, yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

So Eli got it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I was going to go to Oklahoma Ferry College. That didn't happen. And so I got upset and I threw a tantrum and I went back to an armor unit.

[Donut Operator]

You have to go to college to put on horseshoes.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

You need. It's a good idea to get certified to do that.

[Brandon Herrera]

You gotta, like, dig the abscesses and shit out of their feet too, and learn how to bandage them. So I think a whole lot to. It isn't like oompaville. Like Caleb's dad's a farrier. I believe so, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

I mean, that makes sense.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's a. It's a very difficult job and it's very. It's that it's one of those on

[Donut Operator]

Facebook and it's actually going to pull up because. Hits my cycles now. The algorithm's like, oh. Eli stops and watches this.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Just make sure you spell it right because farrier. It's with an A, F, A, R, R. Yeah, I was gonna go to that and didn't happen. So I went to back to 28 Cav and I realized that the regular army was not quite like what I'd been doing from E1 to E5 on horseback. Because everybody there was volunteer. And if you didn't want to be there, if you didn't want the hard work, dude, that's.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

They'd send you back.

[Brandon Herrera]

Honestly, man, that's kind of. My guilty pleasure is to watch the farriers scrape them.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Brandon Herrera]

And then get the. Get the abscesses out of them. Pimple popper watcher. Yeah, dude.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's always one more. It's always one more.

[Donut Operator]

Dude, have you checked out the hoof gp? It just. It just popped up on my Facebook algorithm.

[Brandon Herrera]

But yeah, it's just satisfying watching them with that razor just scrape the layers of the hoof off. I'm weird. That does nothing for me, dude.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I don't think that's weird.

[Brandon Herrera]

I think scratches an itch somewhere in my brain.

[Donut Operator]

Apparently. It smells like it does.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you get down to some thrush, if they've been standing in like. Like just shitty mud for. It's called few weeks thrush. Yeah, it's basically athletes foot for horses. But it's got to be cut out. Literally cut out with a. A paring knife. Sometimes burned. That doesn't smell good either by the way.

[Donut Operator]

So I didn't even know about. Well, and now that makes more sense of your journey into Special Forces. Cuz you chose the not that easy route.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I didn't. Well, nothing about Special Forces is all that easy. But I was playing rugby for the. For hood rugby team. My teammate was going to SF selection and said hey, you should come along too. And so I did. But I chose a different route in that way. My entire military career has been kind of like choose your own adventure type deal. It even. It has been unconventional whole way.

[Brandon Herrera]

I would like to think you just stayed as a farrier and they just need like special forces like needed to drop you in. Fucking helldivers. Drop pod style. Like we need a farrier now.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So as a footnote there or whatever it's called in a book.

[Brandon Herrera]

Is that a pun?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, that is good. Stinky footnote. There you go.

[Brandon Herrera]

So I'm done. I promise. I'm in my quota for shitty.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

One of my teammates actually was a licensed farrier. Between his time in Ranger battalion and in Special Forces, he went to Ferrier College and was shoeing horses like before he went to the Q course. And when he deployed to Afghanistan they found about that he was actually taking care of a small herd of horses at Assadabad that the teams were using to go out and patrol with. So it is a thing. He wasn't airdropped there, but yeah, it was a thing. Oh shit. It was definitely a military duty also.

[Donut Operator]

Crazy. You guys used to actually do like. There's groups that went down on horseback and there's a story. It's like the famous story.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, the horseback.

[Brandon Herrera]

13 strong.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

5 foot. Was it 12 strong.

[Brandon Herrera]

12 strong. Sorry.

[Donut Operator]

So that movie's not real.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

But Chris. Chris Hemsworth told me. So. Yeah. So the thing is which camera we need to zoom? This is important, kids. A Special Forces team does not revolve around the officer. It's the team sergeant who was notably absent from that movie plot line. And it doesn't matter if he looks like Thor or not. It's the team sergeant that keeps that team running. That's my PSA about Special Forces. That's very important.

[Donut Operator]

It's very important that you got pissed.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, it's good whiskey. Good dudes on that team. The thing with that movie is Hollywood said, hey, guys, we're going to make this movie with or without you. Do you want to be part of it? And that's. That's kind of what happened with that.

[Brandon Herrera]

I have one of those. And this is. If you're watching this. Sorry. I had one of those bottles that was signed by all the guys and everything. It was just really cool. Like, to me, like, that's. That's really special. It's kind of neat.

[Donut Operator]

I didn't even know about that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, the. The Horse.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Horse Soldier Soldier Bourbon. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's SF owned.

[Donut Operator]

Oh yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's like a bunch of the. The dudes that were there in that. That operation whatnot. But they. I had the. The bottle that was signed by a bunch of the dudes that was on the team and I let somebody house sit for me while I was away.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, no.

[Brandon Herrera]

Connor. And the person that.

[Donut Operator]

I'm joking.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, what the fuck, Trudge.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

He said, no, I didn't do it.

[Brandon Herrera]

No. It was like the girl I was seeing at the time was like one of her friends or whatever house sit for me and basically like. Oh, yeah, no, anything. Like, mi casa, su casa. Take anything you want. Like shit off the bar. I don't care. And I didn't think that that would extend to an unopened signed bottle of Horse Soldier, but they drank most of it.

[Donut Operator]

That's wild to open some. Well, he did say.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I did.

[Brandon Herrera]

I did not clarify, but that I was. Why is there marker on this? Clearly this is the tainted one. It's got scribbles all.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

He won't mind.

[Donut Operator]

He doesn't want this.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Made a bunch of notes like.

[Brandon Herrera]

So to this day.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

On. On my bar, there's. There's a quarter full bottle of Horse Soldier that's signed by the guys.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Horse Soldiers. If you could get a bottle out from Tampa to the house in San Antonio, that'd be great. Thank you.

[Donut Operator]

Sign it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Sign it. Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Throw that up in the background and

[Donut Operator]

then get one for Brandon.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, Two. Two to five bottles maybe, Case.

[Brandon Herrera]

Why stop there?

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, you owe us money now. We'll invoice you for this ad.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So I did ride horses in Afghanistan though. No.

[Donut Operator]

Metal Gear Solid five.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, but it was not tactical.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yes, Eli. It's just like Metal Gear Solid five.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I get it.

[Brandon Herrera]

He had the box and everything. Yes, Jimmy. Just like your Game of Thrones.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Just like it. I was up in. My team was up in Mazar Sharif and we were doing split team ops. So half the team was on One side of the city that was on the other. I mean, we're out in the country, but we're on either sides of the city. And this is in 03. So still pretty early.

[Donut Operator]

Yes, super early.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And still before some of you were born. So, you know, whatever. But we, the guys on the, on the east side, had made friends with this local warlord named Kamgar. And I'm really shitty with names, but his is easy to remember because it's also one of the. One of the two airlines in Afghanistan. So he was a local warlord and he owned one of the airlines. So Com Air is named after Com Gar.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, he's a warlord and he owned the airline. Yeah, yeah, he's doing good.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. I mean, it's Afghanistan.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's kind of John C. American Airlines.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, my favorite John C. Delta.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, those are only stealth planes, though. Oh, well, yeah. So. So they make friends with this, this warlord. And every Friday, Juma, the only day off, and the Islamic world, they were playing this game called Buzkashi, which literally translates to goat dragging in Farsi. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You know, those friends who support your preference for podcasts over music on road trips. That's the energy State Farm brings to insurance. With over 19,000 local agents, they help you find the coverage that fits your needs so you can spend less time worrying about insurance and, and more time enjoying the ride. Download the State Farm app or go [e-mail]. like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. And so it's this ancient game that goes back to like the 1200s. It's super barbaric. It's full contact. It's like playing rugby and polo at the same time.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's the second worst thing that could happen to a goat in Afghanistan.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, I got nothing for that. Yeah, we go, I've seen some thermals. Yeah. So everybody's got a story.

[Donut Operator]

Everybody.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It is a story, that's for sure. So we come out there and, and we show up and, you know, we grip and grin with our, with our teammates that we haven't seen in a week. And, and a couple of our dudes are on horseback and we're like, well, what are they doing? I'm like, oh, just hanging out. Like, I used to ride horses for the army, so obviously I have to be on a horse. So they get me a horse. It's all saddled up. I get on there. I'm wearing, I'm wearing like zip off fishing pants and some hiking boots and the black fleece that you guys used to get yelled at for wearing.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Because for some reason, it's underwear. Yeah. So. And a U of O ball cap that's all torn up because that's a school I dropped out of to join the army. And. And I'm just sitting there, and I don't know how exactly I got wrapped up into the game because there's not a firm outer border to this thing, but I ended up being a player in the game. And how this game works is there's a headless goat, and it's got the feet cut off, it's got the head cut off. And that's the ball. That is the ball. So it is sitting in a circle. Yeah, it's the torso.

[Brandon Herrera]

Okay.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. It's sitting in the circle in the middle of the pitch. And the rugby part of this is like, there's a scrum. Everybody's fighting to get to the center and pick this thing up while you're mounted. So you got to, like, hook your boot over the candle, the. The saddle, and lean over and grab this thing. Meanwhile, people are kicking, punching, pulling. Bop it, twist it, pull it, all this stuff, and you're. You're trying to pick this thing up. It's funny. I just recently learned there's actually teams. How does this get made? Like a one for all?

[Donut Operator]

How do you come up with a game where it's like, okay, and we grab something. What do we have? Anything.

[Brandon Herrera]

A decapitated goat is easier to come across in Afghanistan than a soccer ball.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So there are a lot of soccer balls, too.

[Donut Operator]

There's a lot of soccer balls. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Right?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

We did that well. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

You saw what happened to the goat.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That was soccer ball diplomacy.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's like, oh, you don't drink any water or security. How about a soccer ball? All right.

[Donut Operator]

I hate how chew. See you. Brandon, what shirt are you wearing?

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, I'm glad you asked, Eli. I'm wearing my poncho shirt.

[Donut Operator]

That's not what a poncho looks like. It looks lightweight and breathable.

[Brandon Herrera]

It is lightweight and breathable. It's also fantastic for summer because, like said, it does breathe. It's very lightweight, and it also offers SPF protection.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Protection?

[Donut Operator]

You mean upf?

[Brandon Herrera]

That's what I said.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, okay. Bad hearing.

[Brandon Herrera]

Legitimately on the campaign trail, these ponchos were basically my everyday attire. It's just the perfect mix between looking professional, feeling good, and just being fairly casual.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Is that the.

[Donut Operator]

The western style? I'm just guessing, because the pearls.

[Brandon Herrera]

It is. Once you go pearl snap you never go back.

[Donut Operator]

The best promo for this, they weren't our sponsor. The guys and all of us wore them before.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, we sought them out as a sponsor. We were already in love with the shirts and we were asking them, money, please.

[Donut Operator]

That's the best sell pitch.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's the best endorsement I can give.

[Donut Operator]

So if you're looking for a lightweight, comfortable shirt for the spring or summer, look no further than Poncho.

[Brandon Herrera]

Go to poncho outdoors.com unsub for $10 off your first order.

[Donut Operator]

Poncho outdoors.com unsub go check it out.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So I get in there and like, the horses are rearing up like higho silver style. And. And they're trained to do that. Like, they're. They are part of the contact of this, of this game. I fought my way in there on horseback. I lean over, I get this thing and I.

[Brandon Herrera]

Where did you grab it from?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So I grabbed one of the legs and I just muscled it up like.

[Brandon Herrera]

I thought there were no legs, right?

[Donut Operator]

No, they cut off feet.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, the feet. Oh, okay. Got it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, it's got legs, no feet. So I haul it off.

[Donut Operator]

Exactly.

[Brandon Herrera]

Same interesting distinction.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And the head, I don't know why the feet are cut off. Honestly, I really don't.

[Donut Operator]

Maybe might run away.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Does that hurt you goat?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

How does the goat feel about this?

[Brandon Herrera]

Did he died?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So I wrapped my leg around this thing so it's. So it's nice and secure. Ish. And I've got like one leg across the. The saddle horn. And the next step is you've got to ride around a certain point. In this case, it was. You had to do basically a lap around the pitch. So I'm. I'm riding this. This loop around the pitch and people are pulling on my horse and like whipping it on the ass with the crops. The crops pulling on the. The reins and then. But there's also a couple dudes, like, in old Russian tanker helmets that are. And wearing like car's eye jackets that are. That are blocking for me also.

[Brandon Herrera]

You got like goalies too.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I didn't know that. I thought it was like everybody against everybody when I got in there, but it turns out it's like teams. So the punching Russian teammates, the old

[Brandon Herrera]

Russian tanker helmets and shit. That, that, that, that sounds like like old like native American warriors wearing, like Conquistador. Yeah, exactly like. It's kind of cool.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Exactly like that. And dude, I was just. I'm reading an article about this right now for National Cutting Horse association magazine. So I had to do. I had to go back and do a bunch of resource.

[Brandon Herrera]

I subscribe to that, actually. Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, do you?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. I'm looking forward to reading the article.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, same next week, Right?

[Brandon Herrera]

Completely bullshitting you, but.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Well, I'll send you one. How about that?

[Brandon Herrera]

I would read it.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, you throw it away.

[Brandon Herrera]

Tier did send it to.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So where was I riding?

[Brandon Herrera]

I'm doing a loop.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I'm riding the loop. Russian tanker, helmets, cars, eye jackets are all blocking for me. And then you've got to drop it back in the circle. So I managed to do that entire. That lap and I get it in the circle. And this is where the awkward moment came up because I didn't know they were playing for cash. And at the time, 03, like three bucks a day was the average Afghan daily wage. So there's like the warlord's representative in a megaphone and he's just walking around. He's like. I'm like. He points at me and then he hands me this wad of cash. I'm like, oh, well, that's awkward. So in Special Forces school, you know, the culminating exercise is Robin Sage. And it's all about linking up with your guerrilla force, building rapport, maintaining rapport, getting the trust of the local government and everything else. And there's moments exactly like this built into the scenarios. Mine, I had to marry a local guerrilla medic. That's an entirely different story. We can get into.

[Brandon Herrera]

So five.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Five. Yeah. Oh, sorry, Rebecca. I forgot to tell you about the one in training.

[Donut Operator]

I'm sure she'll love finding it out here.

[Brandon Herrera]

Might want to jump ahead of that on text.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

We gotta just cut that one out. So I just looked at the. I just found the nearest dude in a car's eye jacket with a tanker helmet that I knew blocked for me and was very obviously a direct descendant of Genghis Khan. Like, he had those features. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, wicked Asian. And I just like. And you know, I kind of expected some back and forth. Like, no, no, please. Oh, no, please. He was just like. He just grabbed it like, my man.

[Donut Operator]

He's gonna love this. I'm gonna get a giant. Thank you. Peace out.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

That's a weird sport.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah. It was outlawed by the Taliban. I mean, how progressive, right? Well, I mean, they're. They're literally the fun police, right? So they're like, what is this? Fun? No, Ban everything. Ban it. Kites. No, banned what? Kites. Kites. They banned kites? Yeah. Okay. Also. Yes, yes. Also banned that too.

[Donut Operator]

Funny story, not super popular.

[Brandon Herrera]

Not sure if you know anything about the history of the Middle East. Wait, what do you mean they're not friends?

[Donut Operator]

Jesus Christ.

[Brandon Herrera]

Is it hot in here?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

How's that campaign going?

[Brandon Herrera]

Great. Fucking hour ago. Well, I'll see you in the headline.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Holy shit.

[Donut Operator]

I like to see. This is unsubbed to a T. It is. So why'd you go the medic route? This is where there was this decapitated goat. No feet when I thought I had legs.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I went to selection. I just knew that my buddy was going and I kind of had this feeling that if I didn't go, I'd always wonder if I could have made it. And my whole family was in construction, so I just kind of like fast forwarded this vision of 10 years construction.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Mud people. Is it you drywallers? Is that what you're talking about?

[Brandon Herrera]

Legitimately? Yes.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, yeah, that's what I was talking about.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

But I grew up on job sites. I get it. So I just pictured myself being, you know, on a job site like a decade later talking about what could have been, you know, if I. Oh yeah. I thought about going Special Forces, but you know, whatever. And keep in mind, nothing's really going on at this time. This is pre 9 11. I went to selection in 99, so

[Brandon Herrera]

I didn't think about that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's different. The only thing was really going on that anybody knew about was, was Bosnia.

[Donut Operator]

You're probably more picky during that time too then since it was like no war.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. So I didn't join for patriotic reasons either. I joined for college money and Tricare. And I just kept reenlisting. So I thought I was going to be out in two years. And then, you know, every. Your reenlistment window opens up really fast if you only have a two year contract. And that just kept happening.

[Brandon Herrera]

What was your vibe kind of after 9 11? Like, I'm sure that was a radical shift for the entire military at the time.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It definitely was.

[Donut Operator]

So you have a whole story for that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I do.

[Donut Operator]

So we'll go really quick. Just what route did you go in the 18 series? Because that's.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So when I finished selection, it was the hardest thing I'd ever done up to that point. And I'm riding this like post runner's high with endorphins. I'm like, oh, that was hard. So let's pick the hardest MOS, 18 Delta Special Forces medic. Why not? It wasn't really an interest in medicine. I just knew it was the hardest one from talking to dudes there. So that's what I chose.

[Donut Operator]

This adds an extra year essentially. Right.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

At least that's if you pass the first time and most people don't. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Like, oh, this is going to take a normal. It's two years is like faster.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Two years is. Yeah. Basically the school fast route. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

So don't you have to do basically a residency in a hospital and all sorts?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

You do, you do, you do two road, two civilian residencies. You do one for your paramedic or. I don't know what it's like right now, to be honest, but when I went through it was a month for month long residency to get your national registry paramedic, which is normally a two year program. We're six months into a medic course. Like six months ago we were nothing. Within a week we were EMTBs.

[Brandon Herrera]

So were you here like Sam Houston, like Bamsi or.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

No, they stopped doing that because we kept ruining all the medic students here.

[Brandon Herrera]

All right, explain.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Well, if you've got no special operations at a training base and all of a sudden you insert a bunch of meat eating special operations dudes in a training base, you kind of think it's kind of the same reason we don't go to DLI and Monterey.

[Brandon Herrera]

Herd heard them. Understood.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Me horny.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah, it's, it's introducing too many alphas into the herd. So, yeah, so I chose medic. And then so August, September of 2001, I'm doing my paramedic internship with FDNY. And then this weird thing happened like a few days after we came back to Fort Bragg where some dudes got on a couple planes and threw them in into buildings.

[Donut Operator]

What was that?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Changed everything. What was it?

[Donut Operator]

I don't know.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Might have been remote control. Who knows?

[Brandon Herrera]

We're specifically told not to forget it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, I can't remember. I don't know. I will tell you, but you said

[Brandon Herrera]

fd, like fdny, as in like.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, no shit. Fire Department, New York. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

So like that was.

[Donut Operator]

Holy shit.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Even click that tell. You just said it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to say fidney all the time, but I was on this other job with a guy that used to be NYPD and he's like, fidny? What's that? I'm like, aren't you fdny? The fire department, the guys, you guys. That guy with a Douchebag. Doesn't matter.

[Brandon Herrera]

So just like ships passing in the night and barely.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, we'd been back for a few days and we had this section called milmed Military Medicine. Basically it was just throwing us into a three day field problem to remind us that we were not street paramedics, we were, we were army medics. And it was just a beat down where I got this full thickness third degree burn. So we'll put a pin in that one. That's funny. And we came out of the field, we went and did pt and that first plane hit while we were in pt, showered, came into the classroom and they had, they had a live feed going up on the big screen and you could see the first tower smoking. And nobody really knew what was going on at that point. But we were in our seats and watching live when the second plane hit. And we sat alphabetically. And I remember turning my left, the guy next to me was Kane Smith. And I remember turning to Kane and going, we're going to war. And yeah, everything was different from that day on because prior to that I'd gone to selection basically just to see if I could. And then I went to the Q course to see if I could. And my plan after that was to just go do missions, you know, training missions in Southeast Asia, maybe do some remains recovery, like, because that's a cool job. There's, there's still people missing from World War II, Korea and Vietnam. They always have an SF medic attached to them.

[Brandon Herrera]

I did not know that.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, so you.

[Brandon Herrera]

I knew that they were probably missing, but I didn't know that we were still like actively sending dudes out.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, there's an office out of, out of Hawaii that, that specialize in remains recovery. It's not all military. They've got like anthropologists and archaeologists with them and whatnot.

[Donut Operator]

It's still really cool to go above and beyond just to do that. It's like, hey, even if they died in World War II, we want to bring them home. Yeah, that's dope. I didn't know about that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Not to bring it to like, you know, modern day geopolitics, but that was like a lot of the, that like when we did that rescue operation for that, that pilot in Iran where you had all these Europeans, like, this is such a waste of resources. Why go after one guy? It's like, dude, I don't know what to tell you. Americans are built different.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's what we do, man. That's a big thing that sets. I've worked with a Lot of militaries. A lot of militaries. And that's one thing that sets us apart from not all of them, but many of them, is that we know when we leave the wire hell or high water will be returned to our families. Experience a membership that backs what you're building with American Express Business platinum. Unlock over $3,500 in business and travel value annually with statement credits on select purchases from brands like Dell, Hilton, and Adobe and other benefits. American Express Business Platinum. There's nothing like it. Based on total potential value of statement credits on select purchases and other benefits, enrollments required monthly, and other limits and terms apply. Learn more@american express.com Business Platinum. We don't leave anybody behind at all.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's the tweet that I saw in that regard was. You know, it was just retweeting. Like, all the Europeans that were just saying, like, oh, I can't believe they do this. You know, it's a terrible idea, the amount of equipment lost and this. This whatever it just said, yeah, this is why you can't become an American from just a piece of paper. Like, we're just. We're different.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. I will say this about immigrants, though. They're some of the best Americans I've ever met.

[Brandon Herrera]

Especially, like, a lot of times the first gen, like, the people that are escaping somewhere where they know how bad it was, they have a regard for

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

it that I'm a big fan of. I mean, it's not that I don't. We won the lottery. Were you born here? Were you born here? You got questionable last names.

[Brandon Herrera]

I was on the record. I was Circumflex.

[Donut Operator]

See?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

See? And what is it? Question.

[Donut Operator]

Cody, though.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Garrett. Where's Garrett?

[Donut Operator]

Where could.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Meanwhile, my first name is Nordic and my last name is Czech German, so

[Brandon Herrera]

he's like a Russian sleeper agent.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

John Smith.

[Brandon Herrera]

How Did November whiskey 14. Kill John Lennon?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, it's just I. I was in a. An Uber in. In Nashville a couple years back, and the. When I. When I booked the Uber, it said, driver is hard of hearing. I was like, okay, cool. Well, my stepdad was a pastor at a deaf church, so I kind of grew up around that community. So I'm like, oh, this is no interesting. I mean, I don't speak sign language other than, you know, baseline. Yeah. And, like, this is. That's my favorite one.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

But I was like, oh, this will be interesting. But we get in, and he's obviously of, in my experience, a fighting age male of Middle Eastern descent. And. But he has his Radio on.

[Brandon Herrera]

So what it said on the report,

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

that's what most of the reports say. Fighting age, male of Middle Eastern descent, weird last name. So he's got his radio on and I'm like, why would he have his radio on if he couldn't hear? So I started making conversation with him and I'm like, where are you from? And he's like, ah, you know, and he's being real cagey about it, which kind of piqued my intel background, especially with the fighting age, male of Middle Eastern descent. Turns out the dude was a. He was a naturalized citizen, born in Afghanistan, had been an interpreter for the Marines. And we bro it out. Completely bro it out by the end of that 15 minute Uber ride. He was a good dude, fine American, but he didn't like to say where he was from or anything like that because he'd had some good old boys give him the good news a couple times. Yeah, it was unfortunate.

[Brandon Herrera]

You said it was in Nashville. I found that there's a huge Burmese population in Nashville.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Burmese?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. Yeah, it's massive. Like, there was the one time, I think it was for my fight, me and Eli were Ubering around all over that city. We had like, I don't know, over eight different Ubers and like, seven of eight were all Burmese.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Huh.

[Brandon Herrera]

And I do not know why, but I think it's like a lot of it, I imagine is like church groups and things like that. They would bring in refugees.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's how my family got to Texas.

[Brandon Herrera]

No shit?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

What's the background there?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Late 1800s, there was a huge German immigration to Texas. All immigrated. They. They came in through port of Galveston, Washington, 1877, and. Yeah, there you go. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

1883.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Which one was it?

[Brandon Herrera]

Which one? It's called Six Years off your fun.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of German towns like Fredericksburg, Bernie. There's a lot of German influence here.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. So my family is from. From. From Corel county and Bell County. So when I rode horses for the army at Fort Hood, we did demonstrations and parades and rodeos and whatnot in every little town in like 100 mile radius of Fort Hood. And there would always be another Signmac coming up. Are you Robert Lewis boy? I said, I'm his grandson. Oh, that's so good to meet you. We're your cousins of blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So there was a big old immigration in the late 1800s.

[Brandon Herrera]

I think through all of our years in business on the Internet, we've all used Shopify, I've used It for merch and my skate shop and a couple other businesses.

[Donut Operator]

I will actually agree 100% on that. Everything we do is run through Shopify.

[Brandon Herrera]

Even bunkers run through Shopify.

[Donut Operator]

Our shoes, which is a separate company is run through Shopify and they talk together because of Shopify.

[Brandon Herrera]

Shopify runs the world.

[Donut Operator]

Did you know Shopify will actually help you design a website also?

[Brandon Herrera]

Cody I know I didn't know about starting an online store when I started my career online. And Shopify just made it super, super easy for my dumb.

[Donut Operator]

Brandon what happens if people haven't heard about my brand though?

[Brandon Herrera]

That's actually easy. Eli Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to use email and social media campaigns.

[Donut Operator]

Step Cody what happens if I get stuck?

[Brandon Herrera]

Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 247 customer service.

[Donut Operator]

Step support. Bro, you got my back and your front. Shopify helps millions of businesses around the

[Brandon Herrera]

world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel or Gymshark to new brands.

[Donut Operator]

Just getting started on some shoes on some merch bunker.

[Brandon Herrera]

No. We've all been doing this for over a decade and Shopify is the easiest e commerce platform we've ever used. I think every single one of us has used Shopify at one point.

[Donut Operator]

I think all our businesses right now are using Shopify.

[Brandon Herrera]

No, except mine. But that's because it's guns can't do that.

[Donut Operator]

Just one of them can't turn those dreams into sfx Cha Ching Shopify New

[Brandon Herrera]

cell sound and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com

[Donut Operator]

unsubpod shopify.com unsubpod it's wild to see all those different jobs like riding horses for the army is something. I mean I thought being a boxer for the army I was like cool. You just box all the time. You box for the army? No, I didn't know.

[Brandon Herrera]

I wish those weird jobs, right?

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, like horse riding. I never in a million years I'd be like, oh, you can get that as a trip job.

[Brandon Herrera]

Because I know we've got that still at Sam Houston. We've got. But it's mostly like for ceremonial shit. Right? Like they've got like an actual like I don't know what you'd call it, like a horse corps essentially.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Color guard probably.

[Brandon Herrera]

I think that is what it is. But they, they have like horse stables and everything on base like specifically for that. And it's just a bunch of little odd jobs that you wouldn't think of, but you're like, oh, yeah. Well, I guess that the army does need that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Some of the oldest stables in the army are at Fort Sam Houston. We'd come down to Fort Sam for Fiesta every year. That was. That was the trip to get on. That's why you fought to get on the road crew and the horse attachment so you could get to fiesta for two weeks TDY every year. Yeah, that was. That was a good time.

[Brandon Herrera]

Cody, what's the weirdest job you think you know of in the. In the Navy? Not weird, but I know the band was a very unique one. We did have Navy boxers also.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I don't know. I think it's about the. The weirdest thing I could think of.

[Brandon Herrera]

I feel like it's time we bring back not just the football game, but let's do. I don't know, this might be a thing. Army versus Navy boxing.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Well, boxing would be good to go.

[Brandon Herrera]

Army beat the shit out of Navy. Like that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That.

[Brandon Herrera]

Come on. That would be cool.

[Donut Operator]

They have to still. I don't even know who the army box is. Like, is it. Who boxes?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I dated a Marine Corps boxer.

[Brandon Herrera]

What was his name?

[Donut Operator]

He got the.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I just. I just set it right there. There's a ball right there.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, they still do that art. Like 20, 22. Army versus Navy boxing. So they still beat the.

[Brandon Herrera]

Why don't we know about that?

[Donut Operator]

That's the stuff. I just don't think they understand.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like, I would watch the. Out of that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, I would too.

[Donut Operator]

Like, did you have to do the goat? Take care. Keep your goat alive.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Can we talk about that? Okay. I'm retired. Sure.

[Donut Operator]

What are they gonna do, fire you? Hard cut next week? He's a jaw. Oh.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That really depends on when this airs because I'm retiring in, like the next few days.

[Brandon Herrera]

Who got black bagged?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, do you.

[Donut Operator]

Do you guys know taking care of the goat?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. We probably shouldn't talk about that for PETA reasons, but.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, really? See, I. I always wonder what Jurassic Park.

[Brandon Herrera]

What's going to happen to the goat? Like, whale.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's a very contentious issue and it always has been, but mostly through Congress.

[Brandon Herrera]

Don't look at me. I'm not there.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I'm just like, you know.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, because to my understanding, that was something that. From stories that I've heard from people, that's something that we said that we stopped doing officially.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I can honestly tell you that it's been so long since I've recertified as an 18 Delta that I really don't know. I do know that there are companies out there with these like robotic patient models that are supposed to, you know, it would make a Japanese dude jealous how lifelike these things are. I know that. So you read into that how you will.

[Brandon Herrera]

Honestly, it's probably the other way around. We probably learned from their technology.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

There's a book out there called Book Bombs Burgers and, and it's all about technological advances that. That came from essentially vices.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's true. Like, I mean the, the industry was really the, the leader behind what was it, I think was vhs, vhs, literally

[Donut Operator]

Internet, vhs, VR, all those that robotics now surprisingly enough is like, hey, we got money to make. Let's fucking speedrun this.

[Brandon Herrera]

And then it's like fallout never changes.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Metal Gear,

[Donut Operator]

that's the goat stuff always made sense to me. I understand. It's like, well, it's bad, but it's also. That's how you're. You're. If you're dealing with humans during war and especially batty buddies, that makes sense. It's like, hey, keep said goat alive.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I am. I definitely used it. So 18 Deltas are trained in. In. They're trained in basic radiology, dentistry, veterinary medicine, family medicine, tropical medicine, combat trauma, surgery, anesthesia.

[Donut Operator]

You do anesthesia too?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, that's.

[Donut Operator]

So it was pretty much anything on the battlefield other than open. Like, what was the one thing you couldn't do? Essentially, because this is what's crazy to me.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I don't think there was something I couldn't do. I mean there's doing it and doing it well, to quote the song. But I was the best doctor within a four hour donkey ride around me in Naray. Naray, Afghanistan. And so

[Donut Operator]

like I would.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I didn't have a full operating room suite. I didn't have a clinic or anything else. So Fob Bostic, which is famous for being the space where like Clint Romesha and his crew was Evac 2. My team opened up that base.

[Donut Operator]

No shit.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. And at that time it was just a culotte in a poppy field. Like it was so new that when Chinooks would come in, it would blow over our Hesco's because they weren't filled up yet. We were, we were out there flapping. So my, my, my clinic was just, it was just like our, our patio. Like I gave our weapons guy PTSD because like, I know I gave it to him. Sorry. Sorry, Barry. I know I gave it to him because I'd be doing some medevac or casavac. And he'd be over there, we living off the local economy. And I would see him over there just with the like this thousand yard stare, eating dinner, like just like eyes ahead, trying not to pay attention to whatever it was I was doing. Like, just. And I was so busy out there with emergency medicine that other medics were asking for permission to come in, like fly in and help me out from other FOBs and bases and whatnot.

[Donut Operator]

No shit. So it was because. Did you tell them the cutting a leg off?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I did not. That's what this was leading into? Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, okay. Like this is the stuff where

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I

[Donut Operator]

didn't realize people would fly out to train with you. Which makes sense. When you hear these stories, they're like, homey is saving lives out there. He's doing it like this.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So it was my team, eight SF dudes, one platoon of Marines from 2 8, and then one platoon of our Afghan security forces. So if you go to the Special Operations Museum at Fort Bragg, back in the corner, there's, there's like a statue of one of these Afghan dudes in a weird helmet which they never wore. I told the curator about that. But in the background you'll see a picture of me with them.

[Brandon Herrera]

No shit?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, it's the famous museum. Many times, circulates around. Every once in a while there's like four dudes on a ridgeline wearing udts and one's carrying an M24 and others got an M21. I'm the guy with the M24 in that photo. No. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Actually we probably wear those helmets.

[Brandon Herrera]

We probably pull that picture. Oh yeah, it's out there.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah. About, about once a year I have to go into comment sections like, no, that wasn't Delta Force. No, that wasn't the agency. That was actually 19th Special Forces Group from the Washington National Guard.

[Brandon Herrera]

I was just going to ask who you were, who you were attached to.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It was Oda931. Okay. It was a composite team that fell under the Utah National Guard, but it was all made up of Washington dudes.

[Brandon Herrera]

Interesting.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, some of them were. Some of them were fresh out of the Iraq invasion. And then a couple of us were in language school during the invasion and missed it. So we jumped on the first thing

[Donut Operator]

we could, which is even that it's language while learning to be a doctor at the same time. And then it's all condensed into a year and a half.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I was there like two and a half. But I also still, I needed a little extra training on Land nav. And I broke my. My leg playing rugby. So I added about six months to my. My tenure. But the 18 Delta course, there's very few people that go through it all the way through without recycling. So I didn't have any academic recycles in the medic course. So that was. That was cool.

[Brandon Herrera]

No academic recycles.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Well, I broke my leg.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, that'll do it. Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, they. We were in a pretty academic heavy portion when I broke my leg. I actually broke my leg at the Citadel in a rugby tournament down there. Oh, yeah, we were just there. Walked around on it for like six hours. Did the bar crawl, went back to Bragg. And my girlfriend like, you should go get an X ray. Yeah. Then I was in a boot, actually, I was in a cast. Some cool pictures. That surgery. Every surgery I've had done on me, I have scrubbed in and performed that surgery on someone else. And I'm glad I did that after the fact because, man, especially like the deviated septum. That is a brutal surgery.

[Brandon Herrera]

Really?

[Donut Operator]

Oh, bro, you do even like that level of surgery.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I did that with an ENT surgery. Okay. Yeah. I didn't do that myself.

[Brandon Herrera]

He did it on a butt. On a buddy drunk one night. He's like, hey, I could fix that for you.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

The marine PL that was at Naray with us offered me. I forget what he offered me, but he was trying to get me to do a vasectomy on him while we were out there. No, that's a super simple procedure, I'm sure. Yeah, we do right here. It's been about 20 years since I've

[Brandon Herrera]

done one, but I'm good personally.

[Donut Operator]

Volunteers. Weird.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

The girls are raising me. Scalpel. Super simple.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure I could do it, but it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I could talk you through it. Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's. What's at stake there, I think is beanie babies, dude.

[Donut Operator]

Toss them balls up on the table. Brandon, get up in there.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Did you get an ice pack and couple. Couple Motrin? We can make it happen. Why not some duct tape? I mean,

[Brandon Herrera]

the old rubber band and

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

twist method, that's for just taking your nuts off. Yeah, that's a whole different procedure. That's. Yeah, that works on. That works on calves.

[Donut Operator]

It's still wild to be able to do that level of just. That's crazy to me. Like going into the military doing that. I learned how to put in an IV and apply tourniquets. That's about it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Which, honestly, we don't even do that much. That IV's that much anymore. Really?

[Brandon Herrera]

Why is that?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Well, so it used to be. You'll appreciate this. I mean, in every armed conflict there is a rapid advancement in trauma medicine. Everyone throughout history and tourniquets actually go back to like Roman days, you know, like mechanical tourniquets. So it's weird that we had to be in the g WAT for civilian medicine to actually start accepting that again. But the. What was the question? Forgot TBI.

[Brandon Herrera]

No worries.

[Donut Operator]

Turn IVs.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

IVs. Oh yeah, yeah, I fucking lost it too. Yeah. So hypovolemic shock, meaning you got low volume, so we need to increase the volume. It was believed, and it was protocol when I first started the medic course that every trauma patient got two large bore IVs as soon as you could get them on so you could increase their blood pressure. What we learned through war is that those fluids, they don't carry oxygen, so it doesn't really matter. So unless you're getting something that carries oxygen, like cold blood, then you're not doing that much for them.

[Brandon Herrera]

Basically you just need more blood.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

You need more blood, you need the ability to. Everything we do in emergency medicine is trying to preserve oxygen circulation throughout the body. After that, it's all mechanics of how you do it. And if you can remember that. Honestly, pre hospital medicine is not that hard. As long as you don't throw up. See,

[Brandon Herrera]

it's helpful, I'm sure.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, super easy stuff. So you, you went through all this

[Brandon Herrera]

and then I still want to hear the legs.

[Donut Operator]

I know, that's why I was going back. Like it's, it's tying in the legs.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So. Naray, Afghanistan, my team. This is like our third location on this deployment. So we open up, we. When I say we opened up this base, I mean like we signed the lease agreement. Like we had a civilian government contractor with us when we initially signed this agreement. And when I was, we were riding back to sad bed with this dude, I was like, so what do you, are you a. What do you, what do you normally do? Is like, this is the first time I've ever been in anything like this. Like, what do you mean? He's like, I sign lease agreements in strip malls for recruiting stations. Like, oh, this is different. Yeah, so. So this was brand new to like there was one US outpost that, that the, that another government agency had had prior to us about 13 clicks north of us. And they had abandoned it for whatever reason. We tried to get that same spot. The landowners were like, no, blah, blah. And there was also this weird Geopolitical thing where unless we were actively chasing a bad dude, we could not be within 5km of Pakistan. But you've got these mountains and this giant river that kind of limit what you can do there. So we found this one geographical anomaly, like Dapper Damage geographical oddity, where it was like this triangle of land across the river that jutted in, in this valley between these peaks of these mountains. And that was exactly the space we needed. Cause otherwise we were gonna have to radio back to Bagram just to step outside our own perimeter. Which was ridiculous. The whole thing was ridiculous. If you love the wild stories and laughs on unsubscribe podcast, you'll get a kick out of playoff hockey on NHL on tnt. Playoff hockey is a whole new level over time. Big hits and every shift counts. NHL on TNT has the best coverage. With studio stars like Paul Bissonnette cracking jokes and Wayne Gretzky breaking down the action. The panel is just fun to watch, making every game feel like an event. Studio coverage adds to the excitement. Just like a great podcast. Watch the Stanley cup playoffs on TNT, TBS, TruTV and HBO Max. So we leased this land. So now we're the northernmost, northernmost outpost on the eastern front. And this is very early 04 because we had, we had left Mez and our Buzkashi game just after Christmas. So we get up there, we, we open up this base. We've got empty HESCO's. Everything is, we're doing like three day foot patrols and doing base construction. We were really busy up there. The good thing is we were so busy that between hiring every middle aged, every military age male and handling, handing them a shovel to fill our hescos and being out on three day patrols constantly, the. The bad dudes never really had a chance to put their, pop their head up.

[Donut Operator]

You did three day patrols?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, yeah. Three different patrols. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

That's crazy.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

We were modeling it. So our Afghan security force model was modeled after like the Montagnards and the CIDG program in Vietnam?

[Donut Operator]

No.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So we just took the small unit tactics that they were doing. We're like, let's apply it to this.

[Donut Operator]

So how big were your backpacks? Like walking out on a three day.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Full rock, dude.

[Donut Operator]

Jesus.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Full rock. Especially if you're carrying medical gear or combo gear.

[Donut Operator]

I think about like. So you're walking out at minimum £40, right? Oh, yeah, at minimum.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Minimum.

[Donut Operator]

And then you're going out for three days. So you have to bring food, water, everything for those three days. And you're sleeping wherever the.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, Sleeping. Beautiful stars, no light pollution out there.

[Brandon Herrera]

Silver linings.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Yeah. That's my favorite thing about NAS is staring up at the sky.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, seriously, it's beautiful.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. So. Yeah, so we're. We're out there flapping, man. And sometimes ring flights would come in, sometimes they wouldn't. So the ring flight being like the. The resupply bird. And you'd know if it was coming. It was supposed to come every Saturday, but it didn't always happen. If they got shot at on the way up the valley, usually turn around and go back now that it's finally spring.

[Brandon Herrera]

I've been outside so much more than you have. Walking around, going for hikes, getting my exercise in. He does it for smoke breaks.

[Donut Operator]

What were you wearing?

[Brandon Herrera]

Funny you should ask, Nick. I was wearing Fabletics.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Does it smell like smoke?

[Brandon Herrera]

It smells like something you take a whiff.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Smells fabulous.

[Brandon Herrera]

Thank you. Turns out he loves the smell of my. They're soft, breathable and built to last. I think I did actually use Fabletic shorts during my boxing match. Did you win? Yes.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Good.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's all that matters. It's because of Fabletics. I want clothes that actually keep up with my heavily active lifestyle on my smoke breaks. And that's why I signed up as a Fabletics vip.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Does that do?

[Brandon Herrera]

Funny you should ask, Nick. It means you actually can get 80% off everything.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Doctor gave me that when I was born. May not be long, but at least it's thin.

[Brandon Herrera]

New VIPs unlock major savings on their first purchase, so trying new pieces feels even more. More doable, which you can do right now if you go to Fabletics.com use the code unsub and sign up as a VIP. They're going to do a quick quiz for you and try to figure out your sense of style. If you're one of our audience members, you're going to need help with that. But be sure to select Unsub as the option when you're signing up for your VIP. It's going to get you 80% off and it's a limited time offer, so don't wait. Go to fabletics.com unsub for 80% off. Again, that's fabletics.com unsubbed to get 80% off as a new VIP member. I think my balls would feel nice in these. I just. I love the idea you're talking about. There's this like civilian side, I guess, real estate specialist that helps you sign the lease. Yeah, I. I'm. I'm. Picture. I know I made the joke earlier about like the Helldiver style deployment of a Farrier.

[Donut Operator]

Same thing, but it's like.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's literally just. It's Peter from Deadpool 2. He's the normal dude in a suit. It's like, we need a real estate agent.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

If you put big square glasses on that guy, it would have been the spitting image of Peter on Undead.

[Brandon Herrera]

No shit.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, God.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's just a very triangle. US that US rank on his.

[Brandon Herrera]

Airdropped out of a C130.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, Chris, now.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Cool. So when I got up there and you know, obviously all the locals know, know that we're there, even the ones on the other side of the mountain who were nice enough to bring us a puppy and ask us to stop putting mortars under their village. We were just trying to sight in one went a little too long. They brought us a puppy. Please stop bombing us like, oh, acceptance. Sorry.

[Donut Operator]

The fuck's this dog for?

[Brandon Herrera]

Sorry.

[Donut Operator]

Can you stop the boom booms?

[Brandon Herrera]

Did you guys keep the puppy?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He didn't come back to the States with us. We named him Buckley after the town that our company was in. A119SF is in Buckley, Washington, at the base of Mount Rainier, which its only other claim to fame is Black Sheep. I don't know how you do things up in Buckleytown, but here we go. The speed limit is like Buckley pd. What was that from Black Sheep? Chris Farley.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, man, it has been a long

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

way back in the day. Yeah. Holy. Way back.

[Donut Operator]

Brandon's probably never.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I enlisted. 95.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yes.

[Donut Operator]

So, but Chris Farley, like, that is definitely in. Cody's watched it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And actually, Tommy boy.

[Brandon Herrera]

That old.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah, cut that in. So,

[Donut Operator]

like, I don't know anyone else has watched it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

You know the gray beards in the room. Yeah. So this guy, he comes up, he's. Afghans don't know their birthdays. Traditionally. They've. They just don't keep track of it. So it is a weird holiday if

[Donut Operator]

you think about it. It kind of is just very foreign. It's like today you were born.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Then.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And then you've got the thing. Like, is your birthday the day you were born or is it the first year?

[Donut Operator]

Oh, yeah, they do that. I forgot about that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. It's your people, right? Yes. Your people do that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like they know their. They know their age, though. No, no, they don't know their age.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Like, I had some dude that was clearly in his 50s. Plus he qualified for an AARP card, which is Afghan Associated Retired Peoples. I guess I don't know what the AARP is, but he was clearly elderly and he told me he was 16. I was like, I said leap years. And then my interpreter looked at me

[Brandon Herrera]

like, Chris Hansen, let's take a seat.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I was just trying to online they

[Brandon Herrera]

do were 16 years old.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, well, you know, he's trying to

[Brandon Herrera]

pick up other 16 year olds.

[Donut Operator]

It's that one they actually like, unfortunately.

[Brandon Herrera]

How do you do, fellow kids?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Steve Buscemi.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So this dude comes in, he's on his nephew's back and he is old. Like he's an old man. And his foot, one foot was pointed 180 degrees the wrong direction. Just, just kind of hang in there. And I didn't really need to ask what the problem was there because it was pretty evident that he had foot in the wrong directionitis. So I brought him in and I'm talking to interpreter and it turns out so sometimes you get family members and it's always like an uncle that's bringing them, like, where's dad?

[Donut Operator]

Like, imagine being a cop and tracking through the snow.

[Brandon Herrera]

I'm imagining it's the spot on the ground where it looks like somebody rolled around a bunch.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. And for some reason it goes in a circle. Who's tracking who?

[Donut Operator]

Okay, good.

[Brandon Herrera]

So this dude, imagine it's where the screaming guy's laying on the ground.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

He had been in a car accident on the one road that's there. He'd been in a car accident like six months earlier, broken his leg in this car accident and the thing was just hanging. And I told the dude through an interpreter, I was like, I can't help you here. I don't have my radiology equipment. I don't have any of my ortho tools, you know, because we're trained to like do X fixes, external fixation, like put drill screws into bones and basically doing like an erector set to splint. I didn't have any of that, you know, like you do. So I, I was like, you got to go to Pakistan, man. I, I can't help you. And he had the patient, the old man actually hadn't said anything up to this point. It had just been all his nephew. And he speaks up and he's talking to this real horse, raspy voice. And I was like, what'd he say? He's like. And the interpreter goes, he says, can't you just cut it off? I was like, yeah, I can do that. Come back next Saturday. So I sent it up. You know, my medical hire there was an MD that was SF qualified in Nisadabad, like, three hours south of us. And so I sent him up the case, and he fires back. He's like, I agree with your prognosis and your care plan, Doc. No pressure, but the record for a bullet knee amputation in the Civil War is three minutes. But again, no pressure. Got it. Oh, no. So dude comes back next Saturday again, piggyback. I've requested the medical supplies to do this. You know, extra antibiotics, extra ketamine, extra Versed. Because when I do the anesthesia on this guy, I'm gonna pump it all through.

[Brandon Herrera]

Through.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I'm gonna do all intravenous. Yeah, no, no Passover, no gas, nothing like that. I'm also the only Special Forces medic at this camp. So I had three Navy corpsmen that were with two eight of varying degrees of capability. You were in the Navy? You get that? And then I had my 18, Charlie, who was another guy in that famous photo. His name's Mig. He was a corpsman for Force before he went sf. And he was. Man, he was great to have in the camp with these medevacs and everything medical I was doing. And, man, he could stitch that. Dude could do sutures. It was beautiful.

[Brandon Herrera]

So what's going through your head, like, in the day at this point in your career, in the days leading up to a leg amputation, you've already scheduled for Saturday?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

My calendar had to cancel golf. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Are you just like, well, this is another fucking day, or are you just like, oh, shit, I got to amputate somebody's life?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I will tell you, in hindsight, that I had. I had a massive amount of confidence in myself that I probably shouldn't have had. And that applies to a lot of situations and a lot of things I did, especially in that first trip to Afghanistan and in the subsequent years in Iraq. Just, you gotta fake it till you make it, I guess. But I truly believed I could do a lot of these things. And I did. And I did. Brandon.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, I mean, as long as you did.

[Donut Operator]

So it's like Christmas Day just counting down to cut this dude's leg off.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

You're breaking off the little paper daisy chains or whatever. It's a. It's an amputee Advent calendar. Like, it's an egg. So the guy comes back on Saturday, and the ring flight hadn't come in, and I wasn't sure if it was going to because it was already late. So I pointed to these two conventional medics that had come out to get their hands bloody. What did they call them back There it was. It was 63 whiskey or 91 whiskey. This is. We need. We need the electrician here for this. It was old. His old mls, whatever the conventional medic was.

[Donut Operator]

So Nick was born before. Nick's younger than you, right?

[Brandon Herrera]

He's slightly older.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, okay.

[Donut Operator]

I was like, yeah, but he was

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

a medic in the army, right?

[Donut Operator]

Yes.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

He was a Combat 63 whiskey.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It changed.

[Donut Operator]

63 sounds right.

[Brandon Herrera]

I think that's it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It started off as 91. Yeah. Because it was 91 whiskey. 68 whiskey. Thank you.

[Donut Operator]

Thank you.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I forget if it's not 18, I don't know it. So that's. Which is designation for special forces. So I pointed at these two. These two regular medics, and I said, go get the sawzall kit from MiG's 18 Charlie kit. 18 Charlie's a engineer. We had these dewalt, like, all in one, like, five in one tool kits. I said, go get the Sawzall and get the blades and put them in my autoclave. My autoclave, which is a thing to sterilize tools, was a plastic potato chip can filled with Betadine. So, you know, with nothing but high tech out here. And they looked at me like, you're gonna cut his leg off with a Sawzall? I'm like, yeah, why. Why wouldn't I?

[Brandon Herrera]

Stupid question.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

So, no, I just brought it in here for no reason.

[Donut Operator]

So while they're doing that, Walt's gonna love this commercial.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yes.

[Donut Operator]

Walt's courting everywhere.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So while they went to do that, I heard the bird come in, and it landed, and it brought, like, six months of mail that caught up to me and a big old box of medical supplies that I'd ordered. I. One of the things I ordered was. I ordered this bone saw that is specifically. I mean, it looked like. Like a survival saw. It's like a wire saw, but it's made for bone. I learned something about medical logistics that day. You can't just order the saw. You have to order the handles with it. You think that'd be an implied thing, but it's not. Nothing is implied in the military or the government. God, how much did they be specific about that? So I had.

[Brandon Herrera]

So saw.

[Donut Operator]

It was.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I had the saw, but I had no handles. But what I did have was, like, these thermobaric grenades that had big rings on them. So I grabbed the marine Pl and I told all security, like, hey, there's gonna be a couple big booms. Don't go shooting off into the sky about this. Like, we will Radio. So I grabbed this marine Pl and we went to the edge of the hesco. I said, all right, listen, we're gonna throw these over the wall on three. But we were keeping the rings. He's like, got it. I was like, sir, what are we keeping? He said, the rings. He's like, show me, like, this part. I'm like, okay, good. Three, two. And then, you know, wait, wait, wait. On three or after? No, we didn't do it. So we tossed him over. Boom, boom. And our guard force did not go wild and shooting into the mountains of the air. So called that success. I said, show me the ring. He's like. He's like, okay, good. So I get those back, and I'm trying to. My. My team of medics are, like, doing patient prep at this point. While I'm doing this and I'm busting the sod, I'm like, I'm trying to get it on there. Like, a key ring did not work it.

[Brandon Herrera]

You like setting off thermobaric grenades to keep the ring. I just think of, like, a kid, like, he gets an expensive Christmas present and just plays with the box. Yes. It's the same shit.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's exactly like that. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Like, that's what you went to that first, though.

[Brandon Herrera]

I mean, it's like, not. Does anybody have a keychain?

[Donut Operator]

Literally anything else.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I just.

[Brandon Herrera]

As soon as you said that, like, it didn't have the handles, the little, like, jingle from Home Depot started playing in my head. I'm like. And we're back to the Sawzall dude.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It was a lot of MacGyvering. So we've got this guy on the table, and at this point, I'd done so many medevacs that I was just kind of, like, pointing to people like, okay, like an attending dog. Like, you do the I.V. you do that bandage.

[Donut Operator]

You.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

You start the nine line. And I'm saying, at the head of this patient, and everybody has tried to get an IV on this guy. Keep in mind, this is how I'm going to not only replace his fluids, how I'm going to keep him in a surgical plane of anesthesia. And nobody can get an IV on this dude because he's old, he's dehydrated, his veins are collapsed.

[Brandon Herrera]

Is. Was the goal to keep him unconscious the entire time?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yes.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh. So, like, well, I figured, like, they were pumping. They were pumping him full of drugs. I just didn't know if they were gonna knock him out.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I was taking my leather belt off. I'm like, here Bite on this.

[Brandon Herrera]

I mean, you would have done it at that point.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Donut Operator]

I mean, he wouldn't have known. He doesn't.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

He asked for it. So it's not like I was like, we're going to cut your leg off. He's like, please cut my leg off. So.

[Brandon Herrera]

Your honor.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, he probably was surprised there was anesthesia or anything.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Maybe. I mean, I mean, think about it.

[Donut Operator]

They're not going to know about that. Living out in the boondock.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, this dude's pain threshold had to be through the roof at this point anyway. Just walked around like six months with that bone grinding on. Just.

[Donut Operator]

Did he ever say how his leg got put backwards?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Well, I mean, it was a car accident. Oh. And it just, it was complete. So we call it a non union. Right. So the bone, it's, it's not like the. It was partially fractured. It was completely fractured. So it was hanging. And then I think from the hanging, just the way feet are weighted, it just started turning backwards. But it'd been that way so long that you hear like a crease in his skin from being turned the wrong direction for six months. So I don't know. I didn't do anything.

[Donut Operator]

But the doctor.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. So this guy's on the table and everybody's trying to get an iv. We can't get an iv.

[Donut Operator]

So

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I decided we're going to do IO intraosseous, which we just got. This is new tech. Like I just got initiated. These two things called fast ones. Oh, yeah, the thing in the sternum. And yeah, there's plenty of video of this out there. You can cut this in. So it's just, it's this big red handle and when you take the cap off, it's got just a series of pressure sensitive needles. Yes. It looks like the ball from Phantasm.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. And then one spring loaded in the middle. And so I've got this, this Navy corpsman reading the instructions over my shoulder while I'm like, okay, line it up with external notch. Yep.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, this is your first time using it too?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, it just been issued to me. Yeah. So yeah, this is about session development.

[Donut Operator]

Wow, that looks angry.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Some of this was like rules of the range. Like, don't put your finger on the trigger till you're ready to shoot. You know, that kind of thing. Now you're backstopping beyond. So he's like, apply firm, even pressure until you hear an audible thunk. I'm like, I'm like, ooh. That was audible.

[Donut Operator]

How many needles is this Because I don't like.

[Brandon Herrera]

Isn't it like nine?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I don't know how many. It's a lot.

[Donut Operator]

And they're not. These aren't like.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's huge gauge.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, it's one needle that actually goes into the bone. I don't know how many of the pressure needles there are.

[Donut Operator]

And the reason it goes into the bone is because.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Because that's where you're gonna deliver whatever it is. Your fluids, your medication, whatever.

[Brandon Herrera]

Have you ever woken up and felt the immediate need for a nicotine pouch? Slash and slash. Or a cup of coffee.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I can't talk. It says no Nick on the cam.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, no Nick allowed me gone. How many pouches, cups of coffee or energy drinks do you need throughout the day to stop from crashing? Too many. Did those things cause anxiety or make you feel on edge? I love edging. Well, that's why using Ultra pouches can be a game changer for your energy levels. Ultra is the ultimate guilt free pouch. They deliver ultimate focus and energy that lasts one to two hours. All without nicotine or caffeine. Well, if they don't have nicotine, what's in them?

[Donut Operator]

Great question.

[Brandon Herrera]

Ultra partnered with leading neurosciences to develop these pouches. Cody. You mean they have nootropics and adaptogens in them? I know you mispronounced nootropics, but yeah, they got those nootropics and adaptogens. They use nfinity. All rights reserved. PX Alpha, GPC, healtheanine, a totally naturally occurring amino acid and vitamin B6 and B12. New customers can use the code UNSUB to get 15% off takeultra.com. that's takeultra.com and use code UNSUB. UNS U B. I can't spell. I hope you can. After your purchase they're going to ask you where you heard about them. Tell them unsub sends their regards. Please, for the love of God, show your support.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So that is the one line we had going on for this patient. So. And at this point I'd already juiced him up with some ketamine. Okay. I am like. Because he was a pincushion at this point. So he's already, he's, he's. He's down for the count already. When I did this. We move him into the marine peel's room. I'd kick the marine pill out of. Out of his room in the clot.

[Brandon Herrera]

You've got to have the most interesting. You know they play those stupid party games like the two truths and a lie.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like, yeah, one time I threw a crippled Afghani elder into a K hole, bro.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, it's. We gotta line drinks up if we're. If we're doing. Never have I ever. I'm like. It's kind of like. Like, come on, does that count? Like, yeah, yeah, I've got. Yeah, we could do 10 of these podcasts. Yeah. So that dude is. He's. He's in.

[Donut Operator]

He's on the title of this episode. Such a good title,

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

dude. He was gorked out. So he's got the rainbow road eye,

[Brandon Herrera]

like dilated pupils do.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

There's just medics around with chem lights.

[Donut Operator]

You're holding the leg.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That actually did happen.

[Brandon Herrera]

I know exactly what video you're talking about, too.

[Donut Operator]

Yep.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So we get in there. He's on a litter. I've got my surgical team with me. They're wearing. There's pictures of this on my Instagram, by the way. There's like, dudes wearing rain ponchos and plastic trash bags instead of scrubs. I'm wearing mechanic coveralls and a bandana over my beard and a headlamp. And we go to. He's down, right? So I go to. I'd taken a surgical marker, like a Sharpie, and traced where my cut line was. I handed it to my. My assistant surgeon, and he traced his. And then I cut first, and I cut in, and he immediately screams out. He goes, whoa. I'm like, that's.

[Donut Operator]

That's not good.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Like, he shouldn't be feeling any pain, so.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, you kept it. And he screamed.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, so. But he wasn't, like, jumping off the table or anything. So ketamine's a disassociative. It's not necessarily a painkiller. It's a disassociative amnesiac. So worse. So his body. His body is not registered. Like, his mind isn't registering pain, but there's still some pain there. So I had my warrant officer, who was running my anesthesia, hand me a syringe full of lidocaine. I juiced him up, and that made things better. I had been told, and I've never actually gone and followed up on this, but I have been told that one of the side effects of ketamine in the elderly is sex nightmares. So I've got kind of wondering, like, what's going through his mind.

[Brandon Herrera]

I cast sexual trauma,

[Donut Operator]

K holes and sex nightmares.

[Brandon Herrera]

The tear story.

[Donut Operator]

The tears. Sorry.

[Brandon Herrera]

Afghani payole.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's not too far from the title of my memoir, actually. So what the.

[Brandon Herrera]

How did they find that out.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I don't know. How did. How do they do any medical research? I don't know. Maybe through.

[Brandon Herrera]

They just went through a nursing home with ketamine. Like.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Well, I mean, somebody had.

[Brandon Herrera]

We're about to do science.

[Donut Operator]

Surprise.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

We're going to do science. And it's Ben Stiller. And so I hand the scalpel to my A Surge, my assistant surgeon, and I cut like this. It's called a shark bite technique. The reason we cut like that is so you have something to close the wound with. Wraps around the bones here, muscle, skin here. He cut straight down, and I went, no, he couldn't see that, though. I'm wearing a cravat over my face and it's slow motion anyway, so it's like, no. So we just gotta roll with it. So we get back, we get through all the tissue, we're. We're cauterizing things. This another thing, new thing we had was an electric disposable cautery tool. Some frying vessels, and it smells exactly like barbecue chicken and which is really disturbing.

[Donut Operator]

It smells super good. And it's really fucked up. Ied, dude. Like, when sfest goes off, you just get hungry.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. You haven't eaten in a while. You're like, that's disturbing. So.

[Brandon Herrera]

So you're just like any. Like, anything that looks bleedy. Your. Your.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Arteries, veins, all that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. We tried tying it off at first, but we hadn't done this previously together. So the ligature kept slipping off. So fortunately, I had these electric cautery tools that we'd never used before.

[Brandon Herrera]

There's probably, like 200 people watching this episode that are very sensitive, this sort of shit that are, like, trying not to puke in their car.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Go to my Instagram, go in the wayback feed, you can see video of this. For whatever reason, IG has not taken this down. It's been up there for, like. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Wild.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. And this whole thing was used in the Schoolhouse later, partially as a, hey, this happened. And partially as a, hey, don't do it like this. But it's up there. So we get through all the vessels and we get to the bone, and I've got that wire saw.

[Brandon Herrera]

I'm just like.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And on the video, I had a surgery mix from the Schoolhouse. Like a surgery mixtape.

[Donut Operator]

Did you cut below knee?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Below the knee.

[Donut Operator]

Okay.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Okay. Yeah. Would have been a lot easier if

[Brandon Herrera]

it done, AKA dibs on the indie band named Surgery Mixtape.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Surgery Mixtape.

[Donut Operator]

Pretty dope.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It was good, man. It was a good mixtape. But social Distortion is playing in the background while I'm going on the video, while I'm going through this guy's bones, like it's like children going through the bone. You see smoke coming up, be calling for water. Corpsman just squirting it with IV fluid, trying to cool things down. I'm lucky I didn't break the saw. I know that now from a little more advanced training, but I did not break the saw. We get through the leg. Now I've got leg here, dudes stump here and, and a new set of problems like what, what am I going to do with this? Because I don't have enough tissue to cover up the, the stump. So while I'm sitting there trying to problem my head and not stress the fuck out because it's. There's other thing. I'm, I'm the again, I'm the closest thing to any kind of doctor, like for a four hour donkey ride. And everybody in this camp trusts me and my abilities to save their lives. Like this is a morale issue as well. I hate. It's very important I keep their confidence. So I'm looking at this stump wondering what the I'm going to do now. And Meg, my a surge goes, what about that? And I said what he's. And he points at the end of the litter and there's that leg laying there. And I was like, let's try it out. So surgical sharpie drew out a cut line, took that scalpel cut around it and now I've got this flap of skin from, from the dude's amputated limb. So we're just going to tack that on there, you know, no big deal like you do. I'm bringing it over and I'm like, don't drop this, do not drop this skin. And I'm holding it super tight. Well, the thing about skin is it's got a fatty layer on the bottom and if you hold it too tight you, you get what happened to me. I'm bringing it over to size it up and I'm pulling, pulling it too tight. And that fat on the underside was slippery in my surgical gloves and he went oh, boom. On the ground. And everybody's just like, oh, pizza.

[Brandon Herrera]

Toss in the skin flap.

[Donut Operator]

Five second rule.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's exactly what happened.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh no.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And I said it.

[Donut Operator]

I just blow it off. I said that germs don't have time

[Brandon Herrera]

to get on it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So there was a SMU medicine. A couple years, like two years later, I saw him in clothing and sales. We knew each other in the schoolhouse and he goes. He just looked at me and he goes, hey, three second rule. I said it was five. The story had circulated. So I said audibly to everybody in the room, five second rule. And I picked it up and we washed it off.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, God.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And some IV solution and then some Betadine. And I announced, because I was already hungry, I was like, hey, this looks like teriyaki chicken.

[Donut Operator]

So mad. When he watched this episode, put that

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

up on the stump, attacked the corner. I threw a penrose drain in there. And I let everybody that was in there throw like a signature. Two or three signature stitches in there.

[Donut Operator]

Well, you had everyone just come up and just do us a stitch.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's like signing their name on something.

[Brandon Herrera]

Here's the real question. What was your time?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It wasn't three minutes. Yeah. I don't know. So here's the other thing about those fast ones One kits is there was a lot of them, especially in the early days that the removal tool was stripped. So it comes with this. This threaded removal tool. You just screw it in and then you pull it out of the sternum. Again. I wasn't school trained on this thing, so I've got this. I've only have two of them. And so I'm trying to remove this needle from the dude's chest and I keep giving him little ketamine bumps. This is after everybody else is out and slapping hands and eating barbecue cooked on hesco wire. For some reason, it's probably not good for you. So. And I'm up there, like, and I'm trying to remove this. And Paul, my team leader, who's now a general, he goes, tyr, you have to get him out of here. Like, it is dark as approaching. Like, because we're. We were out in Indian country, we were not allowed to have. That was just like, camp rule. If they're not our. If they're not our indigenous, they are not in the camp after. After dark.

[Brandon Herrera]

You said you keep giving them ketamine hits. So you just like, sex nightmare. Sex nightmare. Uncle Rick, No.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Whoa.

[Brandon Herrera]

Is he on his giants? No. Probably worse, frankly.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Worse.

[Brandon Herrera]

Send him to the dimension.

[Donut Operator]

The dimension.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

There it is. That's me.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, fuck. So sent me to the dimension.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I open up this. I finally opened up the second pack and there's another removal tool in there. And it popped in and I screwed it in. Popped it right out. Sent one of the way.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

There you go. Yeah. There's my surgical team. Rain ponchos. Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

His foot is totally the wrong.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

That is gnarly that looks like a potato chaser.

[Donut Operator]

Friend. Put this up and then blur everything so you can't see any of what we're showing you.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, Burst sausage. Yeah, that's pretty close.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's that. That's that cautery tool.

[Brandon Herrera]

Cool.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

No shit. You see my Glint tape on the top of my hat there? That's real common in surgical suites.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's gnarly.

[Donut Operator]

They look super sanitary. Just exposed 2 by 4 in the background, literally.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Okay, so what's he gonna do, Leave

[Brandon Herrera]

a negative Yelp review?

[Donut Operator]

He could.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. In the form of an IED from his nephew, I guess.

[Donut Operator]

God, he got some fucking homies to go to a. Get a petty.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Okay, so where he's sitting right there in that litter, that's our front porch. That's where I would do all the medevacs.

[Brandon Herrera]

His fucked up foot looks like a potato.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

I just love the Yelp review. Things like 3 of 10 didn't even leave a chocolate on the pillow.

[Donut Operator]

And that's the dimension.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

No, he's still. That's Afghan dimension. And he wasn't down yet then. That's. That's Afghan. That's how it came in. He's just.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's all natural.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Standard. Standard pain right there.

[Donut Operator]

Jesus Christ.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Okay, so those. The windows you saw in the background? So the. Where the pictures where he's laid out right there, that was like pre surgery. That's. That's where I did all my medevacs. I wasn't in the room. All The Marines from 28 were crowding around the windows right there and, like, moved the litter stands out of the way, and they're just staring. And. And the reason there's photos is because now General Sellers had presence of mind to take some photo and video of this whole thing happening, which. Thank you, Paul. So. But those Marines, they're all infantry. They're. They're crowded around and they're. They're just watching. And I can't see them because they're behind me and be in the window. But I heard one of them say, this is after I cut the dude leg off. I heard one of them say, dude, we should take that leg and feed it to the dog. Remember cute little Buckley?

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, no.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

He grew into a monster.

[Brandon Herrera]

So he has a taste for flesh.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And so I didn't acknowledge that, but I. I grabbed one of. One of the circuit team. After this is over, I said, hey, grab that leg. Go out under the COVID of darkness into the lz, dig a hole. That is a bi regulation cat Hole at least three feet deep and bury it. I do not want to see our dog walking around camp with a human leg in his mouth just gnawing away.

[Brandon Herrera]

That'll make it to New York Times.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Donut Operator]

I'm surprised you didn't give it back, bro.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So he came back. Like, he came back the next day after.

[Donut Operator]

Well, how'd you. So you finally got the needle out?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Yep.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And then once that was out, you know, and he was also loaded up with enough antibiotics to kill anything. Yeah, yeah, it was probably antibiotics that had never even been introduced to that country. So he could have been like, he

[Brandon Herrera]

cross dresses now, though.

[Donut Operator]

That's a. He's gay. That's a development.

[Brandon Herrera]

He doesn't goats anymore.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

He's. He's Afghanistan's number one advocate for autism, you know, so.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, goat is disgusting now.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So he came back the next day, and I took his drain out and came back every. Every few days so I could check on it. And then two weeks, nothing. But the last time I'd seen him, there's pictures of this, too. That flap that I'd thrown on there had turned completely black. It wasn't stinky. It was not stinky meat. There's nothing rotting. But the. The. That flap that I'd sewn on there with that baseball stitch was completely black. And then I never saw him again. So fast forward several months. We rip out with a team from third group. I go back to Bagram to see you Soda, and I'm talking to the siege of Soda Surgeon, and I give him the whole case study, and I'm worried about this. And I tell him I'm concerned about this. And he goes, was he alive when you left, when you last saw him? I said, well, yeah. And he goes, good job, Doc. And I was in it. That was. That was the whole thing. No idea what happened to him? Oh, well, yeah, he's. Now. He's probably 17 years old and just doing the thing in Afghanistan,

[Brandon Herrera]

applying lipstick in the mirror,

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

listening to Goodbye Horses Meat Flap.

[Donut Operator]

I. Oh, my God.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

On one foot, though. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Nick, tell us about your Cash App experiences. But keep it clean.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I use it to send my sister money sometimes.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's pretty clean. Yeah. Kind of hoping you'd have a more interesting story, but. No, that's cool. That's fine. I use Cash App all the time. You know, genuinely, whether it's sometimes me and Brandon go out for dinner and drinks to have a great time, he doesn't consider it a date. He calls it friends hanging out I consider it a date and I take that a little bit personally. So when we leave, I bill him on Cash App, which is weird because I pay for the bill. Anyway.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Think of it like a fishing license. What? King trout.

[Donut Operator]

Boy, am I the catch.

[Brandon Herrera]

Anyway, all of this is possible through Cash App. How interesting you bring up Cash App Brandon. I have so many things to say about it. Cash App just released a new status program to follow the way people spend money called Cash App Green.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded, and easily grow or manage your money on your terms.

[Brandon Herrera]

Now, when you spend at least $500 a month on Cash App Pay or the Cash App card, you unlock Cash App Green that unlocks benefits including up to $200 in free overdraft coverage, higher

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

borrow limits, and custom personalized cashback offers. Every Friday at places you love to shop.

[Brandon Herrera]

Turn everyday shopping into status with Cash App Green. Download Cash App today or visit Cash App New. There you'll learn more about this and other great features which are launching now.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

For a limited time, new Cash App Customers can unlock $10 by using the discount code CASH APP10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days.

[Brandon Herrera]

Just put that in your profile at sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash Apps Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank Member fdic. Cash App Green overdraft coverage. Borrow Cashback offers and promotions provided by

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Cash App a Block Inc.

[Brandon Herrera]

Brand. Visit Cash App legal podcast for full disclosures.

[Donut Operator]

How did it get down to get drained and shit?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Just hobble?

[Donut Operator]

No. Okay.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, his nephew brought him back gangster.

[Brandon Herrera]

The. The walk home was way easier.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So that guy's last words to me were, when do I get my wooden leg? And that's how I knew I was successful. Because he was asking for things again. I said I started the same way I started that case. Like, you got to go to Pakistan, buddy. That's. We don't deal in wooden legs here.

[Donut Operator]

He was probably super disappointed. They will definitely give me a prosthetic when I leave here.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

He was pain free. I mean, that thing wasn't turned the wrong way anymore.

[Brandon Herrera]

We suck at doing that for our own guys. Fuck you.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

We should ask Clint Romesha if there was ever a ghost of a single leg just drifting by the DLZ when he was in Fob Bostic. Clint, are you gonna text him?

[Brandon Herrera]

Just imagine rolling over in the middle of the night. What the fuck

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

it's just those up toes, like tickling his ear usually.

[Donut Operator]

So. And you.

[Brandon Herrera]

A Visit from the Dimension.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I am Sex Nightmare. Whoa, whoa.

[Donut Operator]

I am Sex Nightmare. Is the new shirt.

[Brandon Herrera]

Time for a visit from Uncle Touchy.

[Donut Operator]

Uncle Touchy.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

What if it just like came up and like, just like grabbed your toes with its toes, like, you know.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, I don't like that. I just love like a pocket full of ketamine. Pocket trauma.

[Donut Operator]

Whoa,

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

whoa. Oh. Chem lights and sex nightmares.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, such a good title.

[Brandon Herrera]

The Tear Story.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's a tear story. So my. I'm. I'm writing a memoir right now. I've been writing memoir, but I figured it'd be easier to publish once I was out out instead of like gradually, you know, the whole SF Sergeant Major thing versus author. Plus I'm not a seal, so, you know, and kind of breaking new ground here.

[Donut Operator]

Although. Yeah, you made even. That is a crazy story. I remember when we did like drunken debrief and hey, Sergeant Major of Special Forces wants to be on. I was like, huh? I just started that shit. And I'm like, why the does a Green Beret specialist Sergeant major want to be on this show?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I remember some of that. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

I still probably have footage.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

What I really remember was because it was Utah, we had to. It was a. There was a time crunch to get to like the state run liquor store so that we could load up on booze.

[Brandon Herrera]

You know, the 2% alcohol beers.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Because I think we were gonna film on a Sunday.

[Donut Operator]

Yes. Yeah, I forget, man. All those stupid rules.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, dude.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. Salt Lake is wild with that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

One beer, no shot. You have to do like one or the other, right?

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. Well, not only that, but they've got. They legitimately water down their booze. Like, their, their beer, I think is like, isn't it specially made for like, Utah?

[Donut Operator]

Take a 2.5.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's a good question. I didn't drink a lot of beer in Utah.

[Brandon Herrera]

The one night we sat around, my first time up there, we were sitting around with Best. I think we each drank like 20 beers. And we're still sitting there like, you guys. Yeah, like, everyone's good, right?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

There's one woman that walks by, he's like, bro, what's up, Buzz?

[Brandon Herrera]

Like, I feel hydrated. Like, what are we doing here?

[Donut Operator]

Even the shot machines are measured.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, They've got the little electric devices.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It used to be. You probably remember this. It used to be they in the, in the bars and restaurants, they had to have like a. A cabinet or a curtain that went over that hid the booze in case any children could see it because it would. It would ruin them. I have alcohol bottles. That's gone now. That was a weird thing. I just remember being like, down there, like on State street at closing time and the bartenders, like, putting up cabinets over the booze. Like, are you trying to tell us something? Like, no, no. You still got some time. I'm just getting at it.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah. Apparently anything over 5% ABV or 4% alcohol by weight is. Can only be sold in state controlled liquor stores.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, yeah, that's it. You can't have beer anyway, so you can't buy beer. Gas stations. Less like the 2.5 Coors, right?

[Brandon Herrera]

It has to be under. Under 4% alcohol by weight.

[Donut Operator]

So you can buy shitty beer at gas stations. Everything else has to be bought at,

[Brandon Herrera]

well, Utah beer is a maximum of 3.2 by weight. Excuse me.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Wow. Yeah, there it is.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's what I was talking about.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Cars are there rules? And like, I wonder if there's ways around that because I thought polygamy Porter was more than that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like a core is light is too much.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's like Coors Ultralight. The can just floats by.

[Donut Operator]

I forgot, like, with the ghost of

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

a foot behind it.

[Donut Operator]

No caffeine. There's a whole bunch of rules there. But also you, like, still, like, going back to you made Sartre major, which is wild to be.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That is wild. That's wild to a lot of people.

[Donut Operator]

I was like, what the fuck? Why would you. What? You stayed in that long?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, I made it fast too. Yeah, I pinned nine in 2014. And.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, so you get under 20.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, way under 20. So I think I did seven. Took me a minute. I think I made seven in nine years. And then eight. I was only an E8 for, I think two years and then I pinned nine. But I was an E7 team sergeant, so I was already, you know, kind of running things above. Above my pay grade.

[Donut Operator]

Doing all that off. No, thank you, bro.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Looking, in hindsight, I probably got promoted too fast. But it's also the law of attrition. Like if. If there's nobody else, you're going to get promoted. And. And guys were, you know, it's IOG guys are getting out.

[Brandon Herrera]

So you sabotaged your superiors.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

My team, dude, my team was full of rock stars. Half of them either went to SMU or the indigenous community

[Donut Operator]

nightmare or I

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

sprinkled them with ketamine and I left. No, I just nay like a good boy. We had a rock solid team, though. We really did. I would have stacked them up against any team in the regiment. And it. Because. And a lot of that was because even though it was the Guard, like half my dudes, over half my dudes were doing special operations and the civilian world and just coming back, like that's how Evan and I know each other is because we're in the same Guard SF unit. And Evan did a lot of shit before he started a company and it was some pretty cool shit. And. Yeah, so we were just.

[Brandon Herrera]

We were.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

We'd come back from Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever it was we were to meet up, have a couple beers, do some training together. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Topplini governments lately.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Exactly. Right. Yeah, it was. 19th and 20th are probably the best kept secrets in the Army's arsenal. They really are. I mean, just chock full of talent. It starts getting a little weird. Easy. It starts getting a little weird when you get like battalion level and higher because then it's just admin stuff. But at the company level and lower. Dude, there's a lot of talent on those teams. A lot of talent. Yeah, that's.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah. At that level, it's always wild because we were just in D.C. and I mean, you. How many generals did you interact with? And even at your level, because you're still a command sergeant major, but you probably didn't interact with generals on the daily.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So truth by not omission. I never pinned csm. I turned it down a couple times, but. But I never pinned csm.

[Brandon Herrera]

No.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, just. Just keeping that out there. Just. Just a regular old Special Forces sergeant

[Donut Operator]

major, command sergeant major says we'll force this on you. Just screw.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I was in a command position because in a. I was a company.

[Brandon Herrera]

So you're not a command sergeant major. You were a commanding sergeant major.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Actually. That's a great way to put that. Yeah. So in. In Special Forces, the company, the senior enlisted leader in the company is. Is an E9, but it's not a CSM position. It's a. It's. It's a non CSM position. It's an operations position, even though it's a command bill. So I had that position for five years and I was really, really busy as a company sergeant major. So I had a task force deployment in that time. We had teams in. In EUCOM doing the EUCOM thing. We had teams in Southeast Asia. I took the company in the middle of a Thailand mission with Thai Special Forces. So I was concurrently a director at Sargent Representation.

[Donut Operator]

Well, yeah, I just heard Thailand. I was laughing at that joke. I can guess where that goes, you

[Brandon Herrera]

don't have to get very inventive.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Thai was my first trained language. I only speak it if I'm drunk. And in Thailand, it's a difficult language to speak sober. For me,

[Brandon Herrera]

all the Thai you need to know.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So I'll put this out there. This is important for anybody working in the Pacific Theater. They're very, very good at gender reassignment and plastic surgery in Southeast Asia, Thailand specifically. Very, very good at that. That is not something I was trained to do as an 18 delta, but I was impressed with. With their skill. And one thing I would tell new guys that came over to Southeast Asia, especially if they came from CENTCOM originally.

[Donut Operator]

This is why you know how to do vasectomy.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, Was.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's just the vasectomy, plus there's.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

There's a. There's a. There's a thing called jmpi, Primary Jump Master Inspection. So part of the JMPI in is. Is checking. You know, you check buckles, you check the pack strap, pack tray, all that stuff. But one of the important things you want to check is. Is make sure that they're not going to fall out of the parachute harness. And you do that by checking these two buckles. These two buckles and the leg straps. And that is important part of the safety brief for anybody going to Southeast Asia the first time is check those leg straps before. Before you take anybody anywhere. Just make sure there's no hanging chad, nothing else.

[Donut Operator]

Hanging chad is never that one before.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's an old election reference.

[Brandon Herrera]

Little political joke there.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, Little political joke. Yeah. Make sure there's nothing.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's a dick.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

No bullshit. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Look out for a dick.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, yeah, yeah. The other thing I would tell people is if it looks too good to be true, if. What do we say? If. If she looks too good to be true.

[Brandon Herrera]

He is.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

He is.

[Donut Operator]

That's actually really. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

There's some. There's some really attractive dudes over there. They will. Bamboozled, hoodwinked.

[Brandon Herrera]

That's the thing with Silicon Valley. It's like if you're a four and she's an eight. Come on.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, I ran into that in Dubai.

[Brandon Herrera]

We were talking a little bit about Dubai earlier. Yeah, it's one of the areas that Allah cannot see.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Cannot see.

[Brandon Herrera]

You do in Dubai, and they act accordingly. Yeah, apparently.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. It's like the. The Vegas of the Arab world.

[Donut Operator]

I did not know this.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah, that's. I mean, yeah. You know, Pooh Girls. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, that. Oh, yeah, I forgot those stories.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Dubai.

[Brandon Herrera]

I feel like that needs a little bit of explanation.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, I know.

[Brandon Herrera]

From Cody girls. Yeah, me and Brandon, we went with Heather one time down to Florida to do a.

[Donut Operator]

Me and Brandon one time.

[Brandon Herrera]

That sound, man, we went to. It was for Black Rifle. Yeah, for Black Rifle. She was doing a Mother's Day skit with what her name? Cory Corey Chase? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that. You know, I'm stuck in the dryer step, bro, come me out or whatever they do. So we got to talking to her husband. We got to talk. Her husband who's. Who's been making adult films with her for 20 something years, since they met in the Air Force. And he was selling Long Jesus. Yeah, yeah. He said it was like 20 years. And he was telling us about how a bunch of the girls in that industry, the industry says they would. They would go to Dubai. And he was like. He was like, yeah, well, they.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Sorry.

[Brandon Herrera]

They would. They would pay them to sh. T on them. And we're like, what do you. What do you mean by that? Like, the, like, the girls would poop on like these, these princes, these Saudi princes, and they're like, no, no, no.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

They.

[Brandon Herrera]

The Saudi dudes, the oil barons and all those dudes love to poop on the pretty little white girls. And so they'd throw them like 20, 30, 40 grand and they would fly to Dubai, get on, and then come back and they called him the Pooh Girls.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I'm just. As soon as you said that, I was picturing. Military age males of Middle Eastern descent again, just in that squatting position because they don't use toilets. They stand. They do.

[Brandon Herrera]

You got money, you use something else.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, they don't use toilets or they use Russian girls, apparently. But just like the rooster tales I remember from being in Afghanistan, we like, we burned down latrines instead of cleaning them a couple times. Just like scorch dirt, start over, put padlocks on them. This is a us only toilet. I could shame that. Like, just like, just like squatting over. Just.

[Donut Operator]

Just also shout out to Cody. Just when was it? Last month? Two months ago On Twitter, I see a girl commented something and your reply. Shut up, whore.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Jesus.

[Brandon Herrera]

The opinions of prostitutes don't matter.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That is more refined when you put it that he's.

[Donut Operator]

And I just see like a million likes on that. And everyone's just making fun of said whore. I was like, dear God, Cody, a

[Brandon Herrera]

man a few words.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

And then I threw ketamine at her. Yeah, yeah, sex nightmare.

[Donut Operator]

And now. So now you're doing va stuff. You're Trying to help veterans.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Correct. Yeah, that's a great segment. Segue into my new course, corporate job. So there I was thinking I was just going to be retired. I just got my 100% PNT, my retirement's approved, and I'm looking for new

[Donut Operator]

property based off of 100%. What?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Permanent total. So your VA claim. So P and T means you're not being reevaluated. Unless you choose to reopen your claim for something, you're not going to be reevaluated.

[Brandon Herrera]

Which had 100 pnt. You would never do that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Like, no, that'd be dumb.

[Brandon Herrera]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Be real dumb.

[Brandon Herrera]

So he's off the hook forever.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Gotcha.

[Donut Operator]

I've never heard.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, there's a lot of scrutiny with it. Like, I mean, I've got a lot of time down range and the, the VA will actually match up like your claims to, to your service records. And it's not just your, your military medical records. They're matching. It's like, oh, you got a bronze star for service in Afghanistan here. And you're claiming that right here. That. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, you've got a combat medic badge. Oh, and you say you've got PTSD because you've seen a bunch of dead kids we brought. Yeah, that makes sense. You know, there's a, there's that nexus, right? There's that service connection. So it, they did. The VA does a very diligent, multi level, multi eyeballs job of looking at each claim that comes in. So when I'm watching all these things like, come through, like, oh, there's so much fraud in the system. And then I see other vets comment, I'm like, when? And it's always the same comments like, guys, we all know somebody that has 100 that shouldn't have a percent and that shouldn't happen. And then I, I kind of come back and I'm like, what's your percentage? I'm like, oh, well, I actually have a couple years left. Like, that's what I thought.

[Donut Operator]

But I have to say, like, I am that guy that does say that. So I can't because I want. Cause I've watched myself, like, I'm on the side. I've seen that happen like many times where I'm like, man, I struggled to get to. Which is like, whatever will delete the percentage. But I struggle to get there. And mine is document, document, like, hey, Provo, blah, blah, blah.

[Brandon Herrera]

You got shot.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, but even then I got blown up three times. I got fucking like that.

[Brandon Herrera]

And then that's what I mean. It's like you have. You have a very clear, like, yes, I was blown up, shot, whatever. I did combat deployments.

[Donut Operator]

And then I got. And then I hear. It's like, oh, I'm at Hunter. I'm like, oh, what.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

What the fuck? Because I've went through three times, and that's nuts, man. Honestly, for. For the fact you've got a Purple Heart. I mean, that's. That elevates things right there. Zach and I. Zach Bell and I were talking about this a couple weeks ago, and he said. He goes. He said, your Special Forces privilege is showing. And I was like, what do you. And I thought about it, like, okay, that kind of makes sense, because I did, like, when I went into these C and P exams, the. The exams that the VA orders for you. So you. You put in, you file your claim, and you list everything that. That you say is wrong with you. And then they order exams to decide whether it actually is through a medical opinion. And. And those are called C and P exams. I can't remember what CMP stands for. So when I'm going through these exams, when I. When I. And it's all contracted doctors. So I'd go in and I would see as soon as they, like, I'd sit down and we talked for half a second. But as soon as they realized or read that I was a Green Beret, it was like the demeanor completely changed because they, at that point assumed that I was not faking whatever it is that I was claiming that I actually had been to combat. And I actually did see all the bad shit that I saw, which is great for me, but I feel bad for guys like you who are just little old infantry dudes, you know, just got blown up and got a Purple Heart and got shot.

[Donut Operator]

Well, I think, dude, General George, when we went. Had dinner with General George, ran it. He knew. He's like, oh, you were with the strikers. You guys got up, like, immediately at dinner.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Donut Operator]

You remember? Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

A lot of my career past, you know, like, the. The blood and guts of the medic stuff, a lot of my career was avoiding conflict. Not like, oh, that's dangerous. I'm not going there. But, like, I was more on the intel side of things. So if I was actively engaging the enemy, something had gone terribly wrong.

[Donut Operator]

So I. I do think one thing that did switch was I did this in 2008. 9, 10 ish area. And even when we were getting out, it was, hey, make sure you game the system when you go talk to Your doctor, they're going to. To try to pull it and hide it. They're going to drop a pin and you're. They'll ask you to bend down and pick it up. Don't pick it up, because that's them looking for ways to get out of paying you. That was. That's what we were told. Getting out in, like, 2008. So. Okay, that's wild.

[Brandon Herrera]

It was that early.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's. That's still a thing. That's not entirely untrue. So nobody tried to trick me anything, but I was told beforehand that. So range of motion is how they estimate how. How fucked up you are in terms of ortho injuries or musculoskeletal.

[Donut Operator]

I got hurt on my right shoulder. They didn't write what shoulder got hurt over in Iraq. Guess what? They didn't document that. They said, well, it says a shoulder got injured.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Right. So part of the problem is what you just did right there, slap my shoulder. Way too much movement. Obviously you can use it. There's no problem. Yeah, right. But I'm sure your shoulder hurts. You have shoulder pain. So the coaching piece of this, which some people call fraud, absolutely is not fraud. It's just the way the VA system works. What I had to be told was you've been pushing through pain for years, which is true, like, over a decade. What they're looking for in that range of motion is not how far you can bend, it's how far far you can bend before you meet any kind of resistance, whether that's from. From the way your body moves or whether it's from pain. And you have to. You have to have. You have to swallow your pride and not push through that or you. You. And not only you, but your family is going to be penalized for it,

[Donut Operator]

which is hard, because what is the one thing they teach you and push through? Don't go to the. Don't go to the aid station. Don't do any of this. That's the one thing I've said. Hey, we need to switch that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Who says that?

[Donut Operator]

Our dude. If you go to the A station. Yeah. If you go to the aid station.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Is that like institutional, or is that just like peers?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's cultural, okay? Yeah, it's cultural.

[Donut Operator]

I had tonsillitis. I didn't go to the aid station because, no, I'm getting trouble.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

When I became a company sergeant major and we were getting ready to head out the door, one thing I told everyone in the room, and I did it with their first families in the room. So their wives would know as well. It's like if you stub your toe, you make sure your medic writes that up because if it's not on paper, it did not happen. And I promise you that it. None of anything, none of what you're going to do on this trip is going to disqualify you from further service or, or keep you from going to an SMU or anything else. You need to get that documented. And even if you just have a paper copy of it and it never gets put it input digitally, have that paper copy, you've got to have that record because it's got to be connected. And especially in the Guard and Reserves, those claims are a nightmare. Because what the VA does is when they, when you get your list of contentions, when you file your claim, they look at everything you claimed and then they have to. A VSR has a veteran service representative or service rep, whatever it's called. I don't know. Vsr, that's what it's called. They have to go in and they have to look at everything you claimed and try to match it up to when you were on orders. So if they, if you can't prove that it happened while you were on orders, it's not service connected unless it's presumptive. So my initial sleep apnea claim, anybody that's been in the woods with me knows that there's either a bear attack or, or I'm sleeping in a tent next to me, right? I've got sleep apnea like a motherfucker. It. And it is service connected. But when I had it diagnosed, it was on the back end of a jump injury. So it was actually a civilian doctor that looked, and she just looked my eyes. She said, how long have you had sleep apnea? I said, according to my three ex girlfriends, a while. So but because it was, it was done by a civilian doctor and it wasn't on orders when it was diagnosed, the VA medical opinion was not service connected. You don't just go to drill and get sleep apnea all of a sudden, right? It's connected. Now it doesn't matter because I've got like 400% disability, but I will be

[Donut Operator]

the other guy on the side because I stand on that side where I see your side, but also that where I'm like, yeah, yeah, I get what I feel.

[Brandon Herrera]

What I feel like we don't want to do is allow this room for negative press to impact the people that really need it. Like for like combat veterans who have issues, who have been injured who have debilitating conditions, them getting their percentages cut, them getting their benefits cut. That's absolutely not what we want. And so I don't know, I'm working on some, some stuff with. Zach is one of the people I'm working with. I'm working with a lot of the veterans group to work on legislation to prevent that. And I think the only way to do it is to do it where it's non retroactive. Like everybody who's got a rating right now is perfectly safe. But like moving forward in the future, like how do we make sure we prioritize people who have actually like for example, either had combat deployments, like our actual combat veterans who have been wounded in the line of duty or people who are subject to like gross negligence on behalf of the military, like people who, you know, you don't necessarily need to have been in combat to have something that the military should compensate.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's very important because there's a lot of injuries in training. Right?

[Donut Operator]

Exactly.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Like my team sergeant that went to Delta. At the time of his passing, he was the most decorated operator in the unit, but he burned in on a free fall accident. And you know, that's obviously service connected.

[Brandon Herrera]

Right?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Right. So if you want the opinion of a 31 year soft sergeant major, I think it actually goes back before it gets to the VA. The problem is really at the DoD level or DoW, whatever you want to call it, because the, I think the claims that come under the most scrutiny under public eye with, with our community and with guys like Caleb Hammer and everything else is when you've got somebody that washed out of basic or something like that and now they've got a VA rating. Now if they blew out a knee, I like, I know I had a, I had a kid in college when I taught ROTC. He's got 60% but he blew out a knee and he was a semi pro football player before he joined the Guard. That makes sense. Right. But if you got people that were just failure to adapt, it'd be fun to have Rich on for, for this oh dude. Because I'm sure he would be like they're the easy button for, for the services is to kick them out early. But because They've got a DD14, they're now eligible for veteran benefits and that comes with VA disability. And if they're, if they couldn't find an administrative reason to get rid of them, they're going to find a medical reason to get rid of them. And that pushes the problem down the road to the VA and that whoever that commander is or that doctor is or whoever it is that has to sign off on that doesn't have to deal with that outside of, you know, the financial burden of being a taxpayer. So that's. That's really where a lot of that

[Brandon Herrera]

starts, I think off camera, I've got some ideas I like to pitch you just to, like, figure out your take on it, because I think it is something that definitely needs some. Some movement, some motion, some would say, but because I mean it.

[Donut Operator]

We've talked about this at the gym, and it is the one thing, because it is that it's a difficult situation. You have me where I'm like, okay, I've went through all this and I'm still, like, struggling. And then it's like, well, it makes it easier as you're saying, well, people that have been to combat, why are they struggling? While others. You do see some of the people on Caleb Hamer show, and you're like, how the. That guy get 100% and vice versa. You get it. So it's like, if they ease it up, okay, then those guys can get through. And then I'm still like. Because I went through at a harder time. Well, you didn't get past. You have to do it again.

[Brandon Herrera]

So it.

[Donut Operator]

It is a hard situation. There is no easy way to solve.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I mean, there's that. There's that initial entry part and that. The problem child part. There's also the way that ratings are done. Like, I'm medically retired from. From the military.

[Donut Operator]

Thank you for your service.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

You're welcome. It. Even with everything I've done, it wasn't open and shut. Like, dude, I can't run anymore. I've, you know, I've got joints in my feet that don't work. I've got my back. My lumbar looks like a spider web under an mri.

[Brandon Herrera]

Right.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

But claiming those things, army doctors looked at them like, no, you can still serve. But. But I was hospitalized for ptsd, and that's what was actually approved. No. Yeah. So the army gave me 70% for PTSD. You need a minimum of 30 to medically retire.

[Brandon Herrera]

What. What blows my mind, like, the. The thing that. And this is, like, where I very first started to. To conceptualize, like, some of the issues with the. The VA disability rating system was. I think it was 17, because, like, in. In North Carolina. I was living in Fort Bragg at the time. So. Yeah, sorry. I spent some time there too. But it's a total thank you. I joke. I never served, but I did 25 year tour in Vietnam. Oh man, don't do that,

[Donut Operator]

don't do that.

[Brandon Herrera]

But when I. So in that state in North Carolina. Fuck you, dude. In, in North Carolina, I think in order to get a motorcycle endorsement before you turn 18, you need to take like the, you know, DMV motorcycle safety course or whatever.

[Donut Operator]

The.

[Brandon Herrera]

And the, the dude I became friends with at that course, like, it was just another young guy that was there. It was an army guy. We would like just like around like I'm 17, he's like 21. Whatever. Like we would race to where we would do like the actual like parking lot, you know, motorcycle course part of it. And you know, we started like bullshitting a couple days later and like, ah, so what do you do? He's like, ah, well, I'm like medically retired from the army. Yeah, I got like a, I rolled an ankle on a combat jump and now I've got like 90% disability or whatever the it was.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

And like this is a guy that we're literally like still winded from having sprinted 700 yards to. Unlike in my head at the time. Like, that doesn't make sense.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Right.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like, I feel like there's. There's something wrong with that system a little bit. And it sucks because like, there's a lot of people that do deserve it. And like I would say more often than those cases where people get something they're not owed, there's people that are owed a lot that aren't getting it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

There are that. In fact there are a lot of. There are combat vets out there that have never filed vehicles.

[Donut Operator]

Dude, so many.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I was just on. I was teaching at the Air Force Academy last week. It was like 84 mostly green beret vets and this one Ranger bro, he's been all over the world. He was in Panama and he hadn't filed a claim. It was crazy. He was here. I'm working with him now.

[Donut Operator]

So most people and it. They do not set you up on how to do it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

No, that's the hardest.

[Donut Operator]

That's why I went with. Hey. The paid route. Like.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Because they were going to take it out of my hands and figure that out. And I am 100 fine with.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I was very fortunate in the medical retirement process. I was assigned a VA case officer. So I actually had two. Two claims. The Green Beret foundation initiated my claim and then there was actually a VA caseworker that looked at that and said, why didn't you claim your left hip? I'm like, because my right hip is the one that hurts. And she said, sergeant Major, are you telling me that your left hip never gets worn out after compensating for your right hip? I'm like, well, sometimes. She goes, sometimes it's not an answer. It's a yes or a no. I said, well, it kind of. She's like, yes or no? I said, yes. She's like, good answer, Sergeant Major.

[Donut Operator]

Who base?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

She goes, you guys are the worst. She was helping me because the claim system works.

[Donut Operator]

And you're also doing what you were trained the entire time, which is. Do not be a bitch. Yeah, entire time. I'm going to get in trouble if I go to the age.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So that's kind of what Zach's talking about. Like, hey, your Special Forces privilege is showing. But with the guys that have never filed a claim that just got out or. Or didn't know, like, I've got a buddy. He was. He was in Afghanistan in 2002 with Special Forces. One of my favorite photos of the entire gwat is this guy. I won't say his name because of Hippa and whatnot, but it's this guy standing on the roof of a mud hut in. In Nangarhar somewhere, and he's whacking a golf ball off into the distance off this rooftop in the. In the mountains. Such a great shot. Needs to be a poster. Anyway, he never filed. And I said, why? And he said, I just don't have the money to hire a lawyer right now. I'm like, you don't need a lawyer, bro. You don't need a lawyer. No, it's better than that. Okay?

[Donut Operator]

I was like, that's crazy.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

The funny thing is, he's also bald, like, everywhere. And he hasn't had a haircut or a shave at all. So he's got, like, this wild.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like the Jack Mandeville cut.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yes.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah. Except he's like a triathlete. So, yeah, imagine Jack is a triathlete. So what I tell everybody when I find out they haven't filed a claim at all is go on va.gov that day. You don't need a lawyer. You don't need a vso. You don't need anybody. You need to create an ID Me account if you don't have a CAC card anymore. So you can access government websites. And then you hit intent to file. Because once you do intent to file, when you eventually get your claim in, everything you've claimed backstate backdates to that, you file, which for me, ended up being, like, two years of back pay.

[Donut Operator]

Congratulations.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That was nice. And it's tax free. Yeah, but I earned that shit.

[Donut Operator]

It's tax free. But you put into that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I did, yeah. I sure did. I paid multiple. I definitely paid into that.

[Brandon Herrera]

A flashback to throwing an Afghani elder into a K hole.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's like sex change. There was. There was some background here after that. Once you do your intent to file, that's when you go hunting for the. The help and there's. There's tax free options. Like, I had lunch with a dude out in Bandera. Who is the. Is it Bandera county out there? What county is that? I don't know. Wherever Bandera is.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like the town of Bandera.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Town of Bandera. Yeah. He was wearing a warrior's heart shirt, so I just went up and started talking.

[Brandon Herrera]

It's a nice little town. It's like a fun little cowboy town.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, I might. I may end up living there. Who knows, you know, I'm wearing my Bandera shirt. So he is the county Raptors.

[Brandon Herrera]

Famous for raptors.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's a funny video. So, yeah, different counties, but in Texas, definitely there are. There are publicly funded veteran service reps that will help you with all of your. Your VA stuff. You don't have to hire a claim shark. You don't have to hire a lawyer. And there is big business and claims, and that's. That's what I get paid to do now. I'm the director of strategic partnerships for a company called Xterra Health. That's X, T, E, R, R A health. What I like about this company, Finn, cut that.

[Brandon Herrera]

Let's cut that unless the check clears.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

So this company, we just do. We do nexus letters and DBQ letters. DBQ is disability qualifying letter. So it's a. It's a. Remember I was talking about the C and P exams? You go in, this is your. What you say is wrong with you? The VA says, well, let's. Let's see. And they order an exam for you. So.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

A DBQ is a letter from a medical professional that says, yes, I've done an exam, and this is fucked up. There is still some fraud involved in that piece worldwide. So Rebecca was a VSR at the va and she would get claims and she would see at the va, she would see like, okay, this vet is filing his claim. He lives in Illinois. The doctor he saw is in Arizona. She would flag that and it would go for further review. Right. So there's still some of that going on that doesn't happen here. There's. There is telehealth and it can be explained, you know, but what this company does is they've got a network of providers. The doctor that's in charge of it was Marty Scovlin Jr. S medic in Ranger Battalion. He became an MD and he. He. He called me up and brought me into this. That's how we ended up here. But first and foremost, they're veteran centric. If a vet can't pay, they will still take the case. Like, they are so anti claim shark.

[Donut Operator]

That's. I will say the claim shark thing. I hate if it's like, pay out of pocket right up front. It's like how the ones I've seen or talked to, it's, hey, if we get the claim, we'll just take this right out the gate. It's a grand. Two grand. I'm like, I don't care. You did all the work. But that's me personally. But if I see them, they did the work. They got me set up. I'm like, and it's two grand.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Cool.

[Donut Operator]

I understand. Good order. Military order. The Purple hearts, who got me the original.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

And then I went with another one, two other ones to get to where I am now, but it's still not 100.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I'm like, there's some weird pricing models out there. And some of them are like, they look on the up and up. And then you look further. Like, if you actually know some about claims, you're like, oh, maybe not.

[Brandon Herrera]

Do you think it's because the field is so new?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

No, because claims have been around for forever.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, I feel like. And maybe this is just a blind spot for me, but I feel like the. The industry of claims is like the last, I don't know, maybe five years.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Some of it's blown up because inmates, dude. Because Internet and because of AI has reduced the barrier to legal language. I mean, that's a lot of it. Holy shit.

[Donut Operator]

You are. I never thought about that. You could do everything just with chat.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

GTP mostly. But again, like AI, it hallucinates like the VA's own AI right now that they're replacing VSRs with.

[Donut Operator]

That's a bad idea.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It is terrible idea. Because it hallucinates a lot. Like it is connect. It is making up conditions for veterans that they didn't claim and. And humans are having to come back and scrub all this. It's actually making more work on the VA brand.

[Donut Operator]

You could do. Actually think about it. It would actually. I guarantee you could get, like, a pass.

[Brandon Herrera]

Well, I'm not gonna.

[Donut Operator]

No, no, I know, but, like, Jokingly, it's still. Look how for a year.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

Oh, that's actually, I didn't even think about that.

[Donut Operator]

It thought you were in two branches and you had multiple. Like this is the.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

You do on any format there, apparently.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, no, this.

[Brandon Herrera]

God damn it.

[Donut Operator]

But you. You think of it like that. It would be like brands at 100 Brain's. Like, I didn't even serve.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

What the.

[Brandon Herrera]

And that's. That's where again, like lack of oversight lends itself to fraud. Because I.

[Donut Operator]

Well, the.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I.

[Brandon Herrera]

Not to. I know that it's kind of become a little spicy lately because of a couple other things in the military industrial complex, but like Palantir.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Right.

[Brandon Herrera]

One of the things that I think they did exceptionally well in the beginning was integrating like AI and algorithms and things like that with human oversight.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's exact. That's the key words. It has to have human oversight. Yeah, it has to have human oversight. Yeah.

[Brandon Herrera]

We're not there yet.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

No, we're not. We're. We're not. Yeah. So on the. The claim shark pricing model, like the. The most overt one is a company that takes a percentage of your claim every month. That seems on the up and up. If it's like. And I've had friends that have had great results with this. The problem with that is the incentives. So you think about this. Remember I said your intent to file, your payment is backdated to your intent to file. So if you hire a company that is doing your claim and they take what should have been a three month process and it turned it to a six month process, they're now getting a percentage of six months of back pay versus three months of back pay.

[Donut Operator]

I think about that.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Yeah, I didn't either. Somebody pointed that out to me and I was like, oh, that makes a lot of sense. There's. Although also companies that if your claim is elevated, like if it's rejected initially, maybe you paid a flat fee up front, but you, you. Your claims rejected and it gets escalated. Now you're paying again for an appeal process.

[Brandon Herrera]

So if you want to submit your intent to. To file a claim, where would they do that again?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Virginia.gov you don't need anybody to do that. You don't need anybody to do that.

[Donut Operator]

How many services are out there to do it for free, by the way?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

How many counties are there?

[Donut Operator]

It is not joking. You have so many free ways to do this. I just didn't have the best of luck with it.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

The VFW does it. The American Legion does it. DAV does It. So there are. There's an accreditation process, and I don't know what goes into that, but there's. It's very specific on who the VA will give accreditation to. And if it's an accredited vso, that means they can file the claim on your behalf. Like you can give them power of attorney and they can file on your behalf. And that's what the Green Beret foundation did for me. They're the only accredited special forces. No, nonprofit. But there's great. Still not perfect. So the company that I'm working for, doing the Nexus letters, which means they're connecting the service to the injury with the DBQ, they're charging 500 bucks a pop for a medical letter. You're getting a medical exam, the doctor gets cut of that, the business gets a cut of that, and it goes forward. And that's. That's per letter. So they're not getting a percentage of a claim. They're not getting any future revenue off of it or anything else like that. And again today, they. To date, they haven't turned anybody down. Even if they needed. If they've had rough times and they couldn't. They couldn't do it.

[Brandon Herrera]

So they.

[Donut Operator]

Then they'll take it if it goes through or it's just, hey, the 500,

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

though, it's like, it's such a nominal fee.

[Donut Operator]

Well, for some people, I will say, like, we get a seat.

[Brandon Herrera]

I.

[Donut Operator]

That's the one thing I'm big on is 500 for. Depending on who you are, it can be a fucking hurdle. That's why I always. $20 can be a hurdle. That's why it's always like, hey, be as respectful on where they're coming from because 500 for.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's true. You're like, hey, no, that's true. But I mean, like a couple years ago, that would have been a tough thing for me. So. Yeah, I get it. But now they'll work with people. It's a small company and it's soft owned and it's. It's veteran first.

[Donut Operator]

Do you have to be Green Beret to go through that?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Absolutely not. Anybody with DD214.

[Donut Operator]

See, that's. And then where is. What's that one called again?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Xterra Health. Exterra. Like the, you know, SUV that predated the Tacoma that everybody drove around for a while. Exterra.

[Brandon Herrera]

Like I said, Chase, wait till the check clears and then we'll figure out

[Donut Operator]

everything he is saying. Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It's funny that I'm throwing this out there because I haven't officially started there yet. Well then until you get the check

[Brandon Herrera]

out clear for you either.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah. Blur it out until you get the job.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I mean again, you know I wasn't looking for a job and they called me and hearing about the company I was excited about it because I work, I work a lot in the veteran space. I help out non profits when I can with the marketing and branding piece and I'm always throwing up on my, my IG and knowing that this was a, a soft owned company and I, I have enough experience in the healthcare industry to know that $500 is not how a doctor is making his, his bank. So I was like yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. So what I'm hoping is I can through my position there I can connect them with other VSOs and, and whatnot. Because there's a lot of companies out there that don't do the DBQ service. Like if my claim through the Green Beret foundation had had that DBQ service it would have avoided a lot of C and P exams and shortened the time frame of my claim. My VA claim which ended up being like 18 months.

[Donut Operator]

I mean good check though.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

It was a good check. Yeah. Thank God nobody got a percentage of that one.

[Donut Operator]

That's what I'm like. It was still a long ass time.

[Brandon Herrera]

18 months of back pay. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

At whatever your monthly. They had to pay every month to that.

[Brandon Herrera]

What color is your Camaro?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

That's Echelon.

[Donut Operator]

Where can the amazing people on the Internet find you?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

I am most active on Instagram at Redleader Underscore standing by. Make sure that it's the guy with my face and the blue check mark because man I am really really popular in Nigeria.

[Brandon Herrera]

I think I saw a profile this fat little black kid the same name as you.

[Donut Operator]

That's not tier. Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

If there's only like five or six photos up and it says to I love America and the army it's that's not me.

[Brandon Herrera]

He's going to go there to Nigeria and fucking give him the sex nightmare dust.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Sex nightmares. Yeah. Yeah. How many legs? How many legs do you need to do this? Yeah, and same with the dating services. I'm not on any dating platforms. I've actually had people hit me up on my mail, email, say excuse me Sergeant Major but I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this. But can you please confirm that you're not dating my stepmom or, or my mother in law and like no.

[Brandon Herrera]

Wouldn't you like to know fat boy? Oh God. I don't know if we've discouraged or encouraged people to do ketamine at this point.

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Great in therapy. Great in therapy. Great in surgery. Bad for the elderly. Allegedly. We'll see.

[Brandon Herrera]

What was the noise again?

[Eli Double Tap Tier Simek]

Whoa.

[Donut Operator]

And Cody, on that note, closes out.

[Brandon Herrera]

Thank you guys for joining the unsubscribed podcast. I was joined today by Eli Double Tap Tier Simek Brandon Herrera, my self doughnut operator. Thank you so much for being here.

[Donut Operator]

Sex dust.

[Brandon Herrera]

My.