Unsubscribe Podcast: The INSANE Life Of Colonel Sanders | Christmas Special 2025

Episode 244 – December 23, 2025
Hosts: Eli DoubleTap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator (Cody), The Fat Electrician (Nick)

Episode Overview

In this extended Christmas special, the Unsubscribe Podcast crew – Eli DoubleTap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator (Cody), and The Fat Electrician (Nick) – reunite for a chaotic, laugh-filled episode, combining Christmas banter, travel misadventures, and a wildly in-depth, irreverent retelling of Colonel Sanders’ life. The show is peppered with military anecdotes, friendly roasting, advice for the holidays, gun talk, business tangents, and plenty of jokes running the gamut from crude to historical. This episode’s central highlight is Nick’s storytelling of the real-life saga of Colonel Sanders—delivered with the podcast’s signature blend of humor and dark detail.

Key Topics & Discussion Segments

1. Holiday Banter, Parenting, and Sled Hill Politics

Timestamps: 00:22–08:40

• Banter about Christmas spirits: Nick opens the discussion with a grumpy, comical story about berating a rude teenager at a sled hill for blocking his kids.
  • Notable exchange:
    • Nick: “You don’t own the hill. The city owns the hill. And I pay taxes, you little shit. You don’t pay taxes.” (02:31)
    • Eli: “I was hoping that dad would show up.” (06:01)
• Discussion of generational changes and lack of consequences for kids.
• The guys riff on “bullying” kids and helicopter-parenting, with Nick joking about being “a dick to a child for 25 minutes.”
• Jokes about Nick’s reputation for telling off misbehaving kids.

2. Travel Mayhem, Restaurant Stories, and Encounters

Timestamps: 08:42–30:17

• The crew exchanges travel war stories—delayed flights, sitting on the tarmac for hours, dogs crapping on planes, and dealing with eccentric seatmates (like the infamous “medical professional” who delayed boarding over a minor paper cut).
• • Nick: “Unless he’s shot in the chest, I’m probably not gonna be able to do anything but call him a pussy.” (25:11)
• Jokes about meeting random “badasses” on flights and encountering odd personalities (“I know 36 ways to skin a man”).
• Frequent ribbing about awkward or unlucky seat assignments, panic attacks, paper-cuts, and more.

3. Army Christmas Party & Pentagon Visit

Timestamps: 30:17–38:17

• Recollections from Eli and Cody attending a formal Army holiday reception in D.C.
  • Admiration for classic dress greens, historical ambiance, and mingling with generals and dignitaries.
• Banter about past Pentagon visits and plotting a future return, this time with “less gay” beverages.
• Excitement about possible upcoming collaborations with the Army for podcast content and behind-the-scenes access.

4. Gun Talk and Brand Relationships

Timestamps: 38:17–47:02

• The gang’s ongoing love/hate with various firearms companies (HK, FN, etc.), discussing sponsorships, getting new models, and frustrations with being snubbed.
• Nick humblebrags about being the only one HK “liked enough” to send their new AR.
• Jokes about hunting with “scar heavy” rifles.
• Conversation meanders into the merits of various bear-defense ammunition and real-life stories about the limitations of certain calibers:
  • Cody: “I’ve met guys who have been shot in the head with 5.7 and survived.” (12:52)

5. Colonel Sanders: The Real, Insane Life Story (Feature)

Timestamps: 64:00–79:24; 87:18–88:09
Main section starts: 64:00
Story re-joins: 87:18

Highlights

• Childhood and upbring:
  • Orphaned young, raised siblings, passion for cooking.
  • Ran away from home at 12, joined the Army by falsifying his age.
• Serial Careers:
  • Railroads, constant fighting and firings, became a lawyer through correspondence school—only to lose his license for beating up his client in court.
    • Nick: “He beat the shit out of his own client in court.”
• Gas Station Wars:
  • Got a job running a gas station during the Depression; used creative advertising methods (signs and barn murals).
  • Rivalry with another gas station escalated to gunfights—“I will blow your fucking head off if you keep painting over my signs.” (72:06)
  • A Shell oil executive was killed in a shootout; Sanders shot the rival, later cleared as self-defense.
• Early Franchise Hustle:
  • Restaurant and motel business repeatedly burned down, highway rerouted, went broke by mid-sixties.
  • Lived in his car with his wife, selling chicken recipes to restaurants and collecting four cents per chicken.
  • Personally recruited Dave (of Wendy’s fame) to save failing KFCs—Dave later founded Wendy’s with that success money.
    • Nick: “Dave would—Colonel Sanders pays Dave a bunch of money... and that guy takes that money to open up his own burger place and names it after his daughter Wendy.” (76:28)
• KFC Explodes:
  • Sold KFC for $2 million and a deal to be the lifelong spokesperson (late 1960s/70s).
  • Fell out with corporate KFC due to changes in his recipes (infamous for spiking gravy on the floor and cussing out employees).
    • Nick: “He cusses like a sailor. He’s cussing out the people in the kitchen and shit for fucking up his recipes...” (78:39)
  • Sued by KFC for criticism, but judge dismissed case: “Sorry, the letterhead on the opening of this document is this guy’s face. And you’re suing him to stop talking about it.”
• Legacy and Mythbusting:
  • Nick dispels web rumors of racism/Klan affiliation—sources point to Sanders as progressive for his time, especially for hiring women managers and executives.
    • Nick: “I read three books on this guy... He was actually really progressive for his time.”
  • Joke myth repeated about a pet crow named Jim Crow (not true).
• Notable Quotes & Antics:
  • “He bragged to his daughter at the age of 83 that he was still getting laid.” (79:56)
  • “He becomes a spokesman for KFC and they go public. They were like, the second restaurant to go public after McDonald’s.”

6. Fast Food Titans and Hidden Histories

Timestamps: 84:40–86:53

• Cody shares intersecting backstories about Ray Kroc (McDonald's), Walt Disney, and Ernest Hemingway all being ambulance drivers in WWI.
• The unlikely alliances and how old war buddies shaped American business giants.

7. Kentucky Colonel Honorary Titles

Timestamps: 87:49–92:20

• The guys reveal that several are “Kentucky Colonels”—an honorary state title.
• Banter about using this for future introductions and political campaigns, with plans to refer to Brandon as “Colonel Herrera.”
  • Cody: "The Kentucky Colonel is the highest civilian title of honor bestowed by the Governor of Kentucky..."

8. Congressional Campaign & Holiday Reflections

Timestamps: 93:10–99:39

• Cody gives candid updates about his congressional campaign, fundraising, and political memes about “insider trading.”
• The gang jokes about following stock picks by doing the opposite of Jim Cramer, and the meme-ification of American politics.
• Advice to “call your friends, check in on them” during the holidays.

9. Tattoo Suffering and Rivalries

Timestamps: 113:42–121:51

• The group shares stories about their shared “gang tattoos,” obligatory Christmas stick-and-poke banter, and painful tattoo sessions (especially coloring and love handles).
  • Eli: “Love handles… It’s horrible. It’s the worst by far.” (116:12)
• Ongoing, hilarious arguments ensue about which tattoo colors/techniques hurt most.

10. Closing Thoughts: Sarcastic Holiday Spirit

Timestamps: 122:53–end

• The episode wraps in the podcast’s style with more jabs and heartwarming reminders:
  • “Call your friends, make sure your kids aren’t being fat and annoying at the sled hill, pisses me off.” (123:17)
  • “Merry Christmas. We love you all.”

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Colonel Sanders Origin Story:
  • Nick: “He called it tomcatting, but he was fucking everybody...” (67:26)
• KFC Lawsuit:
  • Nick: “The court case is KFC versus Colonel Sanders.” (78:53)
• Wendy’s Crossover:
  • Nick: “Dave would... open up his own burger place and name it after his daughter Wendy.” (76:28)
• On Parenting:
  • Nick: “Call your friends, make sure your kids aren’t being fat and annoying at the sled hill, pisses me off.” (123:17)
• On Sun Tzu:
  • Brandon: “I like to think that he was dealing with people who had like 30 IQ back in the day. So that sounded monumental...” (99:39)
• Tattoo Pain:
  • Eli: “Love handles... It’s horrible. It’s the worst by far.” (116:16)

Additional Timestamps for Quick Reference

• Story of Colonel Sanders begins: [64:00]
• Wendy’s Connection Revealed: [76:28]
• Mythbusting Racism Rumors: [79:24]
• Kentucky Colonel Titles: [87:49]
• Sun Tzu Roast Session: [98:59]
• Christmas Closing Remarks: [123:05–End]

Tone & Style

• Language: Raw, direct, and comedic with irreverent asides and inside jokes.
• Vibe: “Drunk at the bar with your ex-military uncles,” blending history, absurdity, and real-world wisdom amidst relentless ribbing.
• Heart: Foul-mouthed but genuine care for friends and audience—“call your friends, invite them over.”

Summary

This episode delivers on chaos, holiday energy, and signature Unsubscribe mayhem, anchored by an epic, wildly entertaining retelling of Colonel Sanders’ life that touches on family, grit, and fast food lore. Along the way are misbehaving kids, business history, campaign updates, and the hilarious pain of tattoos—the makings of a thoroughly Unsubscribe Christmas Special.