Unsubscribe Podcast Ep. 235 — Why Nikko Ortiz Will Never Fly Again

Date: October 19, 2025
Hosts: Eli Doubletap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator, Nick the Fat Electrician
Guest: Nico Ortiz

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, the Unsubscribe crew is joined by recurring guest and fan favorite, Nico Ortiz, who recently moved to Texas to be closer to his longtime podcast friends—but mostly, to avoid ever getting on a plane again. The group dives deep into the roots of Nico's intense aversion to flying, discusses wild consumer finance trends, modern masculinity, the fate of supercars, and their own uniquely “dude” brand of content creation. There are plenty of jokes, memes, and behind-the-scenes stories, with Nico’s tree-chopping obsession making a surprisingly poignant appearance.

Main Themes & Key Discussion Points

1. Why Nico Ortiz Will Never Fly Again

• Nico’s Fear: Nico’s absolute refusal to fly is a running joke—and deeply real.

  • [04:38] Nico: “The planes? Not. Hell no. Hell no.”
  • Talks about the loss of control, frequent bad turbulence, and his preference for driving—even across states.
  • He’d rather relocate to Texas than board a plane: [17:51] Nico: “You moved to avoid a plane flight?” / “Yeah. Dedication, pretty much.”

• Helicopters vs. Planes: Oddly, Nico enjoys helicopters more than airplanes.

  • [05:28] Nico: “I love helicopters. I think it's so much better and funner.”
  • The group debates the risks, with more jokes about Nico’s “fall for two minutes knowing you'll die” fear.

• Parachute Solution?: Nico jokes about carrying a parachute as a carry-on for peace of mind.

  • [06:19] Nico: “If you're that worried, you can get your skydiving license…” / “I don't know how to repack a chute. I don't want to repack a chute.”
  • TSA complications, paranoia, and group banter about how suspicious it would look.

• On Flying Private & Airline Deregulation:

  • Jokes about flying private being statistically more dangerous, a brief eulogy for Spirit Airlines ([20:22]), and discussion of the retired Concorde supersonic jet ([21:13]).

2. Life Updates and Moving to Texas

• Nico’s Move: Story of how Nico moved to San Antonio without telling anyone, just to be near the gang—and off planes.

  • [18:29] Eli: “You had a flight here.”
  • [18:37] Brandon: “All of this just to avoid a return flight?”

• Adapting to the South: Nico embraces the local lifestyle: chopping trees, planning for more land, and plotting a backyard gun range.

  • [76:33] Nico: “I'll be lumberjacking in my backyard... got a few acres of like trees… just beat some shit.”

3. The Unsubscribe Brand: Male-Dominated Content & “Guy” Interests

• Supercars & Watches as Male Status Symbols:

  • Electric cars vs. supercars: Tesla Roadster discussed as FOMO for car guys ([25:23]-[25:47])
  • Discussion on how luxury goods like watches and fancy cars mostly impress other men.
    • [26:28] Brandon: “That's another thing where it's like watches… you're impressing other men—you’re gay.”
    • Bell curve of impressing men vs women, and how only guys ask about fancy cars ([26:55]).

• Their Audience is 95% Male:

  • Hilarious reveal of audience demographics.
    • [81:52] Eli: “Unsub is 95% male.”
    • [82:01] Nico: “Coming in swinging with 11%.”

4. Modern Money Woes: Buy Now, Pay Later for Burritos?! (Klarna)

• Insightful (and alarming) discussion of Klarna, DoorDash, and the proliferation of “buy now, pay later” even for food delivery.

  • [38:21] Nick: “So the buy now, pay later shit is like, it’s fine if you’re doing it for an oven…but Klarna signed an exclusive deal with Doordash. So now you can do pay in four, or pay off in 30 days for a zero interest free loan—on your Doordash order.”
  • 90+ loans = 90 lines of credit = bad for your credit score; possible subprime “burrito bubble” crisis.
    • [41:24] Nick: “When the subprime burrito bubble bursts, we can crash the economy just like we did in 2008—just for a way dumber reason.”

• General advice: If you’re taking out loans for food delivery, you probably need to skip DoorDash and eat at home.

5. Social Algorithms & Privacy Concerns

• Individual Price Discrimination: Stores can now change prices in real-time depending on your purchasing history, spending power, and online cookies ([52:01]–[53:37]).
• Social Media’s Effects: Instagram and Facebook algorithmically feeding content based on gender, self-esteem (ex: targeting girls who delete a lot of selfies with makeup ads).
  • [54:05] Nick: “They could tell when it was a female between ages 12 and 22…then they would bombard them with makeup and beauty ads.”

6. Content Creation, Investing, and New Ventures

• Nico’s evolving content: Moving from LA/Vegas to Texas has re-invigorated his drive to create—he’s vlogging, streaming, and investing in companies ([33:20]).
• Crypto investments and the emerging world of credit cards with Bitcoin cashback ([34:29]–[36:18]).
• Investing for equity control over pure revenue share, and a nuanced approach to risk.

7. Relationships, Fame, and the Female Fan Problem

• Most partners of male fans are confused or unimpressed when they recognize the podcast guys in public, except when a woman fan gets very excited—much to her spouse’s chagrin.

  • [83:39] Nico: “Husband was not a fan, but husband…well, she just met her hall pass.”

• The group shares awkward public encounter stories.

  • [84:23] Brandon: “Steal his trees.”

8. Rural Life, Land Ownership, and HOAs

• Nico and Trees: Nico’s war against trees becomes a metaphor for Texas manhood and independence; plans for a gym/compound constantly run up against HOA bureaucracy.
• HOA drama:
  • [102:11] Nico: “Right now, it’s like duking out with the HOA because…all the paperwork, has to be approved via HOA before you do [anything] or they can fine it. And I’m like, listen guys, I hope the paperwork goes by fast because I’ll be an absolute piece of shit.”

9. Podcasting & Politics

• Brandon’s Congressional Campaign: Recent campaign launch event recapped.
  • [87:20] Eli and group showed up to support, crowd energy highlighted.
  • The balance between authentic personality and public professionalism discussed.
    • [91:27] Brandon: “I know how to turn it off and on...I know when to be professional.”

10. Combat Sports & Manly Achievements

• Power Slap, MMA, and Pride FC:
  • Memories of old-school, brutal fighting tournaments; how rules have gotten more “safe” compared to the wild west of early MMA ([68:00]).
  • Hazards of headgear and the trade-off between safety and skill evolution.
    • [72:40] Nick: “Headgear is worse for you…added weight and torque when you get hit…”
• Getting Fit: Several table members have lost weight, improved mentally and physically through gym time and sparring ([121:08]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Nico on Turbulence:
  • “Think about it. You're in a metal tin can, tens of thousands of feet in the sky, zero control, and you don't know the pilots. At least in the military…they're your brothers in arms… [On a plane] I had to pay for this fucking seat. I don’t like it.” ([10:35])
• Finance Reality Check:
  • “If you need to take out a loan to buy $25 worth of Chick-fil-A, you don’t need to be DoorDashing.” — Brandon Herrera ([39:59])
  • “When the subprime burrito bubble bursts, we can crash the economy just like we did in 2008—just for a way dumber reason.” — Nick the Fat Electrician ([41:24])
• On Social Media Algorithms:
  • “Facebook got caught. They could tell when it was a female between the ages of 12 and 22…and then if they did that, they would bombard them with makeup and beauty ads.” — Nick the Fat Electrician ([54:05])
• On Manly Interests:
  • “Supercars, watches, anything else…you're impressing other men—you’re gay.” — Brandon Herrera ([26:28]).
• Career/Content Philosophy:
  • “I was like, okay, once I went to Vegas, I was like…I could kinda like care less what I do at this point…I get bored fast and easy…now that I’m out here, vlogging, live streaming…” — Nico ([33:20])
• Texas Independence:
  • “There’s no possible way. I just paid for my home. I have this land. I’m totally off of the road…there’s no way. I’ll fight that fight every time.” — Nico ([103:35])
• Authenticity:
  • “Do you want a guy who’s going to be like a scrappy boardroom guy who’s made a lot of money…or do you want a guy who’s squeaky clean because…he’s always wanted power…he kept a clean record…” — Brandon Herrera ([93:11])

Timeline/Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction/Jokes: [00:00-04:09]
• Nico’s Flying Phobia: [04:38-14:14]
• Supercars, Watches, and Impressing Men: [25:25-27:29]
• DoorDash/Klarna Rant: [38:21-47:30]
• Social Media Manipulation: [52:01-56:29]
• Audience Gender Reveal: [81:00-82:07]
• HOAs, Land, and Texas Life: [102:11-104:17]
• Brandon’s Campaign Event: [87:15-91:47]
• Combat Sports & Training: [68:00-75:31]
• Podcast Outro: [123:23-124:03]

Tone & Style Highlights

• The tone is loose, self-deprecating, often darkly humorous, and heavily driven by in-jokes and group dynamics.
• There’s a warm authenticity and clear camaraderie: conversations jump chaotically, but always return to a theme of male friendship, creative challenges, and ridiculous, sometimes poignant, takes on modern life.
• The language is candid, explicit, and at times irreverent, staying true to each host’s and guest’s personality.

Conclusion

This episode is a classic Unsubscribe blend of satirical banter, surprisingly deep dives (aviation anxiety, digital privacy, consumer finance), and warm, relatable stories about friendship, masculinity, and the everyday struggles of grown-up “dude” life—now involving fewer flights, more trees, and plenty of axes.

Whether you're a diehard fan or a casual listener, this episode delivers laughs, life advice, and a rare sense of community among outcasts, creators, and internet friends—now all just a 30-minute drive apart.

For more from Nico Ortiz: “Just Google it, bro.” — Nico