Everybody clap your hands, the UBP is Happy Just To Big Dance With You! That’s right: it’s March Fabness once again, and that means it’s time to crown the official, legally-Calderstone-sanctioned 9th Beatle Bracket, A Ron Howard Motion Picture.

This year’s Beatle Bracket, much like the origins of the Fab 5, begins and ends in Chicago! From the Beatles BBC sessions recorded during the WLS Barn Dance, to the infamous rooftop concert atop Second City’s Pipers Alley parking lot, Chicago was the home of every significant Beatles event. Few will forget John’s touching tribute to his favorite retail emporium as a young tough, “Strawberry Marshall Fields Forever”.

And much as Eleanor Rigby darned her White Sox in the night while there was nobody there (“there” being a May day game at Comiskey against the Royals - NOBODY CAME), Tony, T.J. and Producer Casey face some Malort-worthy matchups, featuring 312-flavored Beatlefigures everyone absolutely knows.

And while you are only waiting for this one shining moment to arise, the boys must first settle some other business on the hardwood/hard would, such as:

☘ Did Howlin’ Frank Ifield invent Chicago blues?

🕶 Why in the fresh hell did late 80’s, Rose Records offshoot The Entertainment Outlet, always have so many $.49 cut-out cassette copies of Stevie Wonder’s “In Square Circle”?

💎🧻 (Angry Chicago Guy. He smells like a Jewel bathroom. Because there’s no cameras in there.) AIN’T NO BEATLES WITHOUT JANET DAVIES AND MARK GIANGRECO PROVE ME WRONG?

EPISODE LINKS

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Ninth Beatle Bracket (Windy City Edition!)