← Victory Church: Paul Daugherty
Victory Church: Paul Daugherty
CONFRONTING THE PETER PAN SYNDROME | PAUL DAUGHERTY | EPHESIANS 4:1-12
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All right, we are in a series on the book of Ephesians. If you got a Bible, go to Ephesians, chapter four. Whoo. Boomer.
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Yeah.
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We always shout for the first scripture in church and. Or in the message, it's our first down, touchdown, whatever you want to call it. Ephesians, chapter 4. Paul the apostle wrote this book 2,000 years ago, and. And he wrote this book to the church at Ephesus that he had started. He was a missionary, a church planter, an apostle, someone who would start churches and then hand them off to pastors that he would train up and equip. And so he had trained up and worked with Priscilla and Aquila and Timothy, and they were building this church. And then Paul went on, and he ended up getting arrested for preaching the gospel. And he ended up sailing to Rome. He had a couple of shipwrecks along the way, some storms, and got bit by a snake. And once he got to Rome, he became a prisoner there and awaiting his trial to speak before Caesar about the gospel that he believed in. And he was not ashamed of that gospel. And he started writing from the prison this letter. And it was a letter to the church, telling them who they were in Christ, reminding them their identity. Our identity as believers is not in what we've done, thank God that we are not what we've done. You are not an addict. You are not a bad person. You are not just a sinner. You are saved by the grace of Jesus Christ. So our identity is not in what we've done and not in what we will do. Our identity is not connected to our behavior. Our identity is connected to our Father. And our Father, who is in heaven, loves us, adopts us, calls us his sons and daughters, and has given us grace and mercy and has an inheritance for us. And Paul the apostle is talking about all these things, and he says, listen, you are called. You are chosen. You used to be a mess. Now you're a masterpiece. You used to be a wretch, but the amazing grace of God saved you. And that's all of our story in this room. And then he gets to Ephesians 4. And what's gonna happen in Ephesians 4, 5, and 6 is he's now gonna give us. Here's what you do with this identity. Here's how this identity begins to empower you to live the life that God has called you to live. So if you're at Ephesians 4, verse 1, I wanna read to you from the message translation. And this is what he says in light of all of this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here a prisoner to the master, I want you to get out there and walk. Better yet, run. Run on the road that God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility. So Paul says, I want you to live the life that God's called you to live with. With humility, with discipline. Not in fits and starts, but steadily pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love. Alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. I like that translation. In other words, there's going to be moments where we miss it with each other, moments where we get offended by each other. But he says, make every effort to keep the peace with each other. Make every effort to mend the fences. Then he goes on to say in the next few verses, go to the next one, y'. All. You were all called to travel on the same road in the same direction. So stay together. Everybody say, stay together. This is not just like we're not all lone rangers trying to live our Christian life separate from each other. Independent mindset, you know, Individualistic mindset. No, Paul says, you're different from each other, but you're called to do this together. He says, I want you to stay together both outwardly and inwardly. You have one master, one, one faith, one baptism, one God, one Father of all who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do is permeated with oneness. What does he mean by this? He means that we all have the same Father in heaven, so we should all stick together as brothers and sisters in Christ. That we should be one. When a husband and wife, when a boyfriend and girlfriend get engaged and they get ready to get married at that wedding, a minister will talk about scriptures in the Bible. And what will he say? The two become one. The goal of marriage is that we would be one together, that we would be a team. That it's not team Paul, team Ashley. It is one team. We're in this together. And what Paul the Apostle is talking about here is we don't need a bunch of teams in the church. We need one big team together. We're all in this together. And then he says in the next verse, he says, this doesn't mean that you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us has given his own gift. The text for this is, he climbed the high mountain, he captured the enemy, he seized the plunder, he handed it all out in gifts to the people. Is it not true that the one who climbed up also climbed down? And I know some of us in the room are like, what is he talking about, climbing up? Climbing down. He's saying the same Jesus who. Who left heaven, came down to earth, died a sinner's death on the cross for our sins, went down to the pit of hell, stripped Satan of all power, all authority, all dominion, took the keys of sin, death, hell and the grave. Thanks be to God who gives us the victory. That same Jesus rose from the grave and he ascended high. And when he ascended, he poured out his Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit. He poured out, gave us gifts. And the one who climbed down is the one who climbed back up to the highest heaven. And he handed out gifts upon, above and below, filling heaven with his gifts, filling earth with his gifts. And he handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor and teacher. That's the five fold gifts of the ministry. There's apostles, there's prophets, there's evangelists, there's pastors, there's teachers to train Christ followers in skilled servant work, working with Christ's body, the church, until we're all moving rhythmically. Come on, I need some rhythm in the house today. Rhythmically, he says, I want you to. Yeah, go ahead. Do a little clap. Yeah, yeah. Mmm. I like it. Some of y' all are not in rhythm. Don't worry about it. Just pause for a second. Some of us are like. He says, we're gonna get the rhythm. We're gonna get it. We're gonna get it. Stick together. And he says, easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God's son. Fully mature. Fully mature adults developed within and without. Now we're going to come back to these. But I want to read this passage because there's some things he says here that stand out to me. That as I was going over this passage, I was like, this is what we need to talk about. Fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive, like Christ. And then we're going to go, verse 14 through 16. No prolonged infancies among us, please. Will not tolerate babes in the woods, small children who are easy prey for predators. God wants us to. What are these words right here? Grow up to know the whole truth and nothing but the truth. And to tell the truth in love, like Christ, in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the Source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will. What are these words right here? Grow up healthy in God, robust in love. I want to talk to you today about confronting the Peter Pan syndrome. Confronting the Peter Pan syndrome. Anybody watch Peter Pan as a kid or read the book? All right, basically, Peter Pan didn't want to grow up. He wanted to fly off to Neverland. And by the way, if you're taking notes, note takers are history makers, world changers, culture shapers. You can just write in your notes, confronting the Peter Pan syndrome. And the reality is, all of us in this room have a little bit of Peter Pan. All of us have a little bit of, like, I love the childlike, you know, youthfulness. And there's nothing wrong with being a youthful person. I want to be a youthful person until the day I die. But what Paul's talking about here is not having childlike faith. He's talking about being childlike in your maturity of understanding God and His Word in the sense that you don't grow up. He says, we can't stay in this place forever of immaturity spiritually. We've got to confront this Peter Pan syndrome. We've got to confront this resistance to growing up. I remember coming across this study on the Peter Pan syndrome. It's actually a diagnosis that psychologists give to men and women. I'm just going to say it's men and women. It's not just men. But originally in the 80s, it was written specifically for men who choose not to grow up. You know, failure to launch. I remember seeing that movie in college. And it's basically a dude that is, like, in his 40s, which, by the way, I turned 40 this week.
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I'm a man.
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I'm 40. Me and Coach Gundy. So now that I'm 40, I'm gonna talk a little bit more mature here, guys. But in the movie, this guy is like, you know, you can listen. Aging is inevitable. All of us in this room are aging. Some of you try to hide it. You try to color your hair, but there's some grays showing in there. Okay, I got a couple of grays. We're losing some hair. We're losing some muscles. We're waking up with more aches and pains. And aging is inevitable. But growing up is optional. Maturity is optional. Tell the person next to you, maturity is optional. Some of y', all, this was your fight in the minivan on the way to church this morning. Grow up now. Don't look at them right now. Stop. We don't need fights in church. But this was the point of the Peter Pan syndrome. What this writer had to say. And I think it's very in alignment with what scripture says spiritually, the Peter Pan syndrome. Some of the key characteristics are the avoidance of adult responsibilities, a strong resistance to take on adult duties, such as managing your finances, household chores, committing to a job. Now this is going to touch some people's toes today. This is not a butterfinger sermon. This is not Milk Duds. We're not eating Skittles and Starbursts today. This is meat and potatoes. You didn't come for a candy coated church service today. How many all came to grow spiritually? Half of us in the room, the other half of y', all, let's go. Come on. And this is not supposed to be mean. I need to hear this sermon. I'm preaching to me because I love candy. And God's like, Paul, you can't live on candy. You gotta eat the meat. You gotta eat the meat and you gotta grow. And spiritually speaking, you gotta learn to take responsibility. The Peter Pan syndrome is avoidance of responsibility. I don't want to do any of that. I want people to serve me. It's emotional immaturity, difficulty managing emotions, and a tendency towards impulsive behavior, temper tantrums. I'll never forget when I was like seven or eight years old, I went with my grand gran on a road trip. And it was called the Manners road trip. She was gonna teach me manners. And we went to, I think Oklahoma City, Frontier City. And we're driving down the road, she goes, I'm stop at McDonald's. We're gonna get some McDonald's, then we're gonna keep going down the highway. So we stop at McDonald's. I ordered a six piece nugget with french fries, two barbecue sauce and a Coca Cola. And we get going down the highway and I open the bag and I go, there's no barbecue sauce in here, Gregory. They forgot the barbecue sauce. I need the barbecue sauce. I want the barbecue sauce. I turned into the little guy on Lord of the Rings. I was like, ah, I need it, you know? And grand grand was looking at me like, I rebuke this demon in Jesus name. And I was like, please turn around, please turn around. I was throwing a fit. I was throwing a fit. How many of you all threw a fit when you were a kid? Anyone throw a fit? If you forget that you're throwing a fit, just ask your Parents, did I throw a fit when I was 4 or 5? You did. We all did as kids. Wouldn't it be weird if I was, like, 45 and I'm throwing a fit over barbecue sauce? Because when you're a kid, it's almost like, okay, they're learning, they're growing. But when you're an adult, it's like, you shouldn't still be throwing fits over barbecue sauce or not getting your way or screaming at your wife like that, or throwing your fist into the door like, what needs to change in me that has stayed immature. Now here's what happens. The Peter Pan syndrome grows from permissive parenting. Parents who don't discipline, don't challenge their kids, don't want to offend their kids. Like, oh, I'm just gonna turn around and go get the barbecue sauce. You know what grand grand did? Gran Gran pulled the car over to the side of the road. I was like, oh, good, she's gonna go get me my barbecue sauce. You know, like, when kids scream and cry and throw fits, they know what they're doing. They are manipulating their parents to turn around and get what they want. Grand grand looks at me and she's like, you want the barbecue sauce? I was like, yes, please. She's like, open the door. I'm like, why are we going to get barbecue sauce? She goes, no, I'm giving you a switch. I was like, a Nintendo switch. She goes, no, an actual switch. She goes down to the bushes in the ravine, breaks off a wooden branch. Somebody called DHS on this, okay? That's what our society says. And Grand Gran comes over and she's like, get out. She starts spanking me. She must have struck blood. I never complained about barbecue sauce again. I'm alive and well. My booty's fine. It's all good. And can I tell you, I needed the spanking. I needed the discipline. And yet we live in a society that literally does not want discipline. We don't want correction, we don't want accountability. We don't want anyone telling us, we. We gotta change our attitudes, we gotta grow up. Because it feels offensive. It feels mean. It's like, please preach something nice to me. Just give me some Starburst. No, we need to grow up. We gotta change men, we gotta grow men, we gotta grow women, we gotta grow in who God's called us to be. Jesus is coming back soon, and he's coming back for a bride that's full, fully alive, fully mature, fully developed, within and without who God's called us to be. Thank you for the golf clap. Thank you for the few claps. But God wants us to grow. And I'm okay that you may not clap for that because it's not a fun thing to hear. But we need to hear it. We need to hear it. I needed to be corrected by Grand Gran. That wasn't the only time she spanked me. That wasn't the only time I got spanked. My parents spanked me. They disciplined me. They corrected me because they love me. Hebrews 12 says, A father who loves his kids corrects his kids. Because if they don't correct me when I'm 18, the police will correct me. And they won't be as nice as Grand Gran. And I won't just, you know, get a spanking and drive on to Frontier City. I'll drive to the jail in handcuffs. Permissive parenting creates the Peter Pan syndrome, where kids just get to stay kids. I don't have to grow up. I'm a Toys R Us kid. Rest in peace, Toys R Us. You gotta grow up. You gotta confront. Where's so the Peter Pan syndrome? Avoiding responsibility, emotional immaturity. I'm throwing my fit. If I don't get my weight, I am going to scream and cry and pound the doors and make sure everybody knows the world revolves around me. But as a Christian, the world does not revolve around me. God did not place me on the earth to be served by humanity. Even Jesus Christ himself left. Heaven, came down to earth, and he said, I did not come to be served. I came to serve. And then Paul says, imitate me as I imitate Christ. What did Christ do? Christ served. He served. He served. He flipped the script on selfishness and said, it's not about me. I'm not here to build a narcissistic kingdom of me, me, me, me, me. I'm here to build servant Lord leaders who serve each other and minister to each other and look out for each other and walk in humility with one another and not think of yourselves higher than others and demand things and live entitled like, they better do this for me or they're not a good Christian. We gotta break the spirit of entitlement off this generation. Peter Pan syndrome says I'm entitled to whatever I want. But the body of Christ, the kingdom of heaven, Ephesians reminds us, no, I am entitled to nothing. It is sheer grace that I have been saved out of the generosity of Jesus, his compassion on a sinner like me that pulled me out of the miry clay, set my feet upon a rock, the Only thing that I'm entitled to is repentance, to receive the mercy and the grace of God, to be a servant of God. I'd rather be a doorkeeper in the house of the Lord than dwell in the tents of the wicked. I'd rather have a humble spirit in God's house than have a prideful spirit with Lucifer getting kicked out of the place that I was supposed to be in. Pride has no place in the kingdom of God, but the Peter Pan syndrome keeps it. The Peter Pan syndrome has even a codependency addiction. A codependency, A significant reliance on somebody else to do everything for you. It's an addiction to amuse someone that's supposed to inspire you all the time, someone that's supposed to help you all the time, someone that's supposed to do it all for you. It's an addiction to dependency on others. Spiritual maturity says I'm growing up, and I'm not gonna make my mom and dad do it all for me. I'm not gonna make my older brother sisters, y'. All. I was the baby of the family. I guess I still am because my parents haven't had any other kids after me. But y', all, I. At some point, and I didn't want to transition into, like, being an adult. I had a hard time. I remember going into sixth grade, and we got our schedules, and I loved elementary. I loved kindergarten. I remember looking at my schedule, I was like, there's something missing here. There's something missing in the schedule. They're like, what? I was like, I see math. I see science. I see, you know, English. We are missing something here. They're like, what are we missing? I was like, recess. We're supposed to have recess. Recess is going with me all to my senior year of high school. I'm gonna have recess. I need two hours of recess. I want to switch swing on the swing set. I'm going to play on the playground. We're going to have some gangs. We're going to play games. We're going to, you know, do some fun stuff, play some soccer. They were like, no, you can't have recess in high school. You can't have recess in college. And I was like, why? Why not? They're like, it's a part of growing up. I don't want to grow up.
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I want to stay a kid.
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And some of us in this room were like, yeah, well, Jesus said, you got to become a kid to come into the kingdom of heaven. And that is true in the eyes of faith. Not in the eyes of maturity, it's one thing to have childlike faith to believe anything is possible. It's another thing to have childlike immaturity spiritually, where you throw a fit when nothing goes your way, when you don't get what you want, when you feel like you gotta serve people instead of be served. And spiritual maturity is a challenge for all of us. The Peter Pan syndrome sets unrealistic goals. A lack of focus, just distracted everywhere, a fear of commitment. Did anyone see the movie Runaway Bride? Y' all remember when the. When the bride, every time she would get close to getting married to someone, I think it happened like four or five times in the movie. It was like this fear of like, I don't want to be trapped. I don't want to be trapped. I don't want to have the handcuffs of a spouse. I don't have to stay committed to one person the rest of my life. This doesn't make sense. And society has gotten like this. Society has tried to break, like, the traditional mindset of marriage, commitment to one person. But according to scripture, this is still God's call for husbands and wives to be committed in marriage. And I'm telling you this like the Peter Pan syndrome hates commitment. Not just in relationships, but commitment to anything. It's a constant fickleness, running from thing to thing to thing, from church to church to church, from job to job to job, from marriage to marriage to marriage to marriage. And here's the thing. You take you with you everywhere you go. You can change your hair. And I changed my hair recently. I can change my hair even while I'm preaching. I can make it extra spiky, cock a doodle do. You could change your hair. You could change your shirt. I changed my shirt between services because I was wearing the snap button shirt. And I didn't know if someone was going to try to rip my snap button shirt off like it happened last year. You could change your hair, you can change your shirt, you can change your house, you can change your spouse, but you can't change the fact that you are with you everywhere you go. And you can blame it on the last marriage, the last person, the last church, the last job, the last group of people, the last group of friends. At some point, spiritual maturity looks in the mirror and goes, maybe I need to change. Maybe I need to get on my knees and stop demanding my own way. Like, maybe humility is my only path forward. According to scripture, it is. Pride is not going to take you to the next level. Thinking that you are Stuck with the personality. I just. This is who I am, Paul. It's my enneagram number. I am stuck with being the person that I am. And whoever's with me, they're just gonna have to deal with this. But Christianity says God can change me. True Christianity, true spiritual maturity says the Holy Spirit is working on me. How many of y' all are work in progress in the room? I know I am. Most of us like the roads of Oklahoma under construction. Till death do us part. My son told me. He's like, that's the line you love to say, like the roads of Oklahoma. That is my line. I love it because it's true. Our roads are going to be under construction, I think, till Jesus comes back. I do think so, because things happen. Tornadoes sweep through our state. You know, there's some earthquakes. There's things that mess with the roads and there's things in life that can mess with you. And you got to stay in a place of humility where you say, God, you're still working on me. Confronting the Peter Pan syndrome is saying, I need to grow and I'm willing to grow and I want to grow. And maybe I was raised in a house where there was no discipline, no correction. Maybe I was given everything I wanted anytime I wanted it. Maybe I was the whiny kid that manipulated my parents to get whatever I want, whenever I want. Maybe I was the baby of the family. But I now am an adult. And there's no excuse for me to stay in an immature place when the Holy Spirit is challenging me through scripture to grow up. And I'm going to let that scripture work in me. I'm going to let it challenge me, even if it's uncomfortable. I'm going to sit in a service where I am confronted to grow. Because I need this. Our society needs this. We got too many churches that are preaching candy coated sermons and we got to get back to the meat and potatoes that challenges us to grow spiritually truly. Let's talk about Neverland, because that's where Peter Pan wanted to stay. I'm not talking about the Neverland of Michael Jackson. I'm talking about Neverland in the movie Peter Pan. Neverland is a place of comfort. Neverland is a place of constantly wanting to just stay the same. The place of not wanting to grow up. You know, Peter Pan was like, as long as I'm in Neverland, I'm with my Lost Boys, I'm with Wendy. I'm fighting Captain Hook. I just get to stay forever young. I wanna be forever Young Neverland. Neverland allows you to live with no vision, like, no mission, no assignments. I'm just gonna mooch off whoever I can mooch off. Let people take care of me. For all of my life, just take care of me. But at some point, I need to grow. I need to say, you know what? I need to stop making everybody else do everything for me. I need to take on the heart of Jesus, which was a heart to serve. I need to look for ways to be equipped to become the leader God's called me to be so I can lead the next generation. I remember when Ash and I got married, and then when we had our first child, it was like a transition. Each transition, a transition from singleness to marriage. A transition from married, married without children to married with children. And each transition was a call, a higher call. My parents used to tell me as a kid, you got a higher calling on your life, so you can't just do whatever you want to do. Paul. There's a higher calling on your life, so you can't just watch whatever you want to watch. There's a higher calling on your life. By the way, parents in this room, we can speak that over our children. The reason we want to discipline them and correct them is because there's a higher calling on their life. You got a higher calling to. To be respectful to your elders, your teachers, your leaders. You got a higher calling to think thoughts that are good, because all of us in this room are tempted to think bad thoughts. How many all have ever had a bad thought in your life? Yeah, if you didn't raise your hand, we're gonna put all your thoughts on the big screen. You're like, oh, yucky. That's rated R. Don't. Don't take it down, okay? The truth is, we've all had bad thoughts. That doesn't mean you have to do what your bad thoughts are. You don't have to be led by your bad thoughts. You don't have to stay a captive. Neverland allows me to just make the excuse of, well, I just do whatever I think and whatever I think. The Bible says, as a man thinketh, so is he. My thoughts determine the direction of my life. If I meditate on bad thoughts, if I meditate on perverted thoughts, if I meditate on violent thoughts, if I meditate on thoughts that are selfish and I'm just gonna do whatever I want, I'm getting revenge. They're paying for this. I'm canceling these people, cutting them off. I will live an immature life based on the immature thoughts in my mind. That's why I gotta renew the mind. Paul talks so much about renewing the mind. Most of Ephesians is about getting our minds renewed to think the way God's called us to think so we can live the way God's called us to live. Our thoughts determine the direction of our life. Now this played out even in the last four days when we saw a shooting on the news in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Another shooting happened. How many y' all saw this on the news? Just three or four days ago. And when I saw this shooting, and it was, it happened at a Catholic school, five and six year old kids, bullets flying at five and six year old kids. Two of them were killed and 17 injured. The shooter was a man who identified as a woman. A transgender mindset. Now, let me just say something. God loves everybody. We all need God's love and mercy and grace. But can I also say this? And this needs to be said in a society that wants to play God. And we want to try to do what God does, like change our gender, change our sexuality. If God created you a male, he created you on purpose for a purpose. If he created you a female, he created you on purpose for a purpose. God doesn't make mistakes, he doesn't make accidents. He loves you and he has a special identity. He is not confused about who you are. Even if you're confused, don't allow your confusion to let you play God. There is a spirit that tries to creep into all of us that says, I'm going to do what I want to do and I'm going to change myself to the way I feel. Feelings are a bad captain for the soul. Imagine your soul is a sailboat and you're the captain, right? Your feelings. If I feel excited one day, if I feel mad one day. And by the way, when we're in middle school, high school, our feelings are all over the map. We need someone in our life, an adult, a mom, a dad, a pastor, a coach, a teacher, to say, hey, I know you're confused right now, but let me tell you something, God doesn't make mistakes. You are a masterpiece created in Christ Jesus to do great things. And my heart broke when I started seeing this shooter had a journal. And they wrote in their journal. Go to the next slide. They wrote in their journal what they looked like. This guy who identified as a girl, he said, when I look in the mirror, I don't see me. I see another spirit looking at me. I feel like I'm controlled. I'm under the Control of something. Go to the next slide. The words that were translated from Russian to English was, who?
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Who?
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When? When will this end? Help me. I don't want to help me. It was a ongoing internal conversation with the spirit. Feeling like I'm controlled. I'm under the control of something. Go on to the next slide. This is what they wrote down in the journal. I feel like there is some kind of God or higher force controlling me. Controlling me. I sometimes notice how I suddenly start writing things that I don't even think of myself. It's as if someone is putting these thoughts in my head. I used to think that all of this was nonsense, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe this is really some kind of higher mind that's communicating with me this way. It's demonic. And we're all in this room capable of allowing influences in a spiritual world to mess with our minds and hearts. If you've ever had a bad thought, even as a Christian, it didn't come from God. God's not going to give you a thought of, oh, you should throw a fit right now, Scream and cuss and storm out that door. That didn't come from God. And yet Christians do this. So now there are people who go, well, if you're a Christian, there's no way you could be influenced spiritually in a negative way. That's not true. That's why Paul says, renew your mind daily. It's a daily thing. Just because you're a Christian doesn't mean the devil stops messing with you. There is still spiritual forces. Ephesians 6 says, we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers. Paul's not talking to pagans in that chapter. He's talking to Christians. He's saying, christians, you're in a battle. Just because you're saved doesn't mean you are incapable of the enemy never messing with you or sending negative thoughts your way. Now you gotta take captive. Are y' all with me this morning? Don't look at me like I'm preaching heresy. It's in the Bible. It's in the Bible. I just want to ask anyone who's been a Christian for more than 20 years, in the last 20 years, have you ever had a thought that wasn't from God? Raise your hand anyone that's been a Christian, do you think the Holy Spirit sent that to you? We live in a fallen world. There are spiritual forces at work. We've got to take authority. And the truth is there is a battle for your mind. As the mind Goes. So goes the person growing up spiritually starts on the inside, starts with a mindset that says, God, there's some things in me that I'm not proud of. There's some thoughts and some attitudes and some patterns and some pride that needs to be pulled out. That is so good, that's so healthy that you would even admit that. But you'd have the self awareness to go, man, I need to grow up. That's good. Don't lose that. That's not a bad place to be. That's the best place to be, to be so aware that you go, holy Spirit, keep working on me. Because I sometimes am still like a work in progress, you know, this person accepted these thoughts that weren't from God and said, I find myself doing things automatically. I don't even know how I got here, what was happening. It scares me. But at the same time it makes me curious to be controlled in this way. Maybe all people are controlled like this. Maybe I'm the only one who has noticed this and that's why I feel so special. That is demonic. The devil wants to keep you in a place of being controlled. Go to the next slide. Sometimes the existence of demons is one of the strongest arguments for the existence of God and the truth of Christianity. Tragically, this is one of those moments. Sometimes the only way some people will wake up to the reality of the light of God and the truth of God is when they see the reality of darkness on display and they go, I don't know what's going on, but these shootings need to stop. And it's not just shootings from people who have guns. It is a spiritual force. There is a spiritual force at work in people's lives that we need to fix. We need to bind it in Jesus name. But go to the next slide. Whatever God creates, Satan copies. God is the original creator. Satan is just a copycat demon. Possession and oppression, which is real is the satanic counterfeit of being filled with the Spirit and led by the Spirit. In Pauline epistles, if you read through Romans or Galatians or Ephesians or Colossians, Paul talks about being led by the spirit, that the sons and the daughters of God are led by the spirit. They're filled with the spirit. That's God's version. Like that's the original version of being spirit. I want to be controlled by the Holy Spirit because the Holy Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. Yes, take over God. How many? All want to grow in the good stuff like gentlemen, patience. I need that Holy Spirit, I yield to you. But the satanic version of that is when someone yields to murderous thoughts, jealousy, comparison, envy, anger, violent thoughts, perverted thoughts, sexually unclean thoughts. And when the enemy starts planting these thoughts and someone just goes, well, well, maybe this is just the way I am, and maybe I just yield to it. Maybe my body was meant to be controlled like this. No, no, no. Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. And we have to intentionally, every day, take our body and bring it to the altar to God and say, God, renew me. Renew my mind, renew my heart. Here's the good news. Go to the last slide. Here, you dear children, me, we are from God. We have overcome them, because greater is he that is in me, that's in you, than he that is in this world. 1 John 4:4. And having disarmed the rulers and the authorities, Jesus put them to open shame, triumphing over them by the cross. Friends, Jesus wins in the end. And that's the good news. But until. Until we reach that point in the book of Revelation, we have work to do. And the work we have to do is we've got to take back authority on the inside and bring ourselves in submission to the Holy Spirit to say, God, I am confronting everything inside me that wants to stay immature spiritually, that wants to hold onto my thoughts, my ways, my attitudes, my selfishness. Cause ultimately it brings me into a path of destruction. And I don't know about you, but I want to grow into a path of victory. I want to stay on a path of healing and growing up spiritually mature. So I've got to confront the Peter Pan syndrome. So I want to go back to Ephesians, chapter four. I want to walk us through this. He says in verse seven, to each one of us, grace has been given. God graces us for a place. He graces us with gifts. He calls us into the body of Christ. Not to be consumers, but to be contributors. Not to live always on the take, but to look for ways that we can serve and give. I love the amplified version. It says, God's undeserved favor was given to each one of us, not indiscriminately. What does that mean, not indiscriminately? That means it's not like Ashley gets level five out of ten grace, Ty gets level seven, Debbie gets level eight, Daniel gets level nine. Like, it's not like levels of grace. He says grace has been given in different ways. We all have different gifts that God has given us through the same rich, abundant gift of the Holy Spirit. And by the way, the gift of God is the Holy Spirit. And that Holy Spirit produces gifts in us. The gift of speaking in tongues, the gift of prophecy, the gift of interpretation. Is this too much for Labor Day weekend? Sunday morning? Are y' all okay? I know we're going deep. We need to go deep sometimes. We need to go deep more. I'm 40. All right, we're going deep. I'm a man. Y' all are like, what is going on right now? All right? But the grace that was given to us is so that we can grow in Christ and utilize the abundant gift that God has given us. It'd be a shame to get to heaven one day and God go, what did you do with what I gave you? And we go, wait, wait, wait. You gave me something? Yeah, I gave you gifts. I called you to be a teacher. I called you to be an encourager in the church, like Barnabas. I called you to help plant churches with Paul. I called you to be involved in worship.
- [35:39]
B
I called.
- [35:39]
A
I called you to serve in children's church. You got a gift with kids. I called you to be a mentor to those teenagers because you'd walk through a testimony when you were, like, hooked on a lot of drugs and sleeping around, and you had a testimony of coming out of some junk as a 16 year old. And then you grew up to be 30, 40, and you stopped serving the teenagers. I called you to serve. What did you do with the gift? I gave the gift of a testimony, the gift that God had put inside you. And there's gifts that God has put inside of all of us. And the question is, are we using the gifts he's given us? Because a sign of spiritual maturity is that I'm going to use everything God's put at my disposal to use. I'm going to use it so I don't lose it. I'm going to use it so I can grow it and I can keep growing in what God's called me to do. In Ephesians 4, verse 8, he says this. He says, when he ascended on high, he led captivity. Captive. And he bestowed gifts on men. Those gifts, like I just said, are the gifts of the Holy Spirit. And then go through verse, I want to go through verse nine, all the way to verse 12, and then we'll close out. He ascended means that he also had previously descended from the heights of heaven to the lower parts of the earth. All right, this is what we were talking about earlier. Jesus came down from heaven, came down to the earth, then he went down to Hell stripped Satan of all the power, then resurrected. Now go to verse 12 because this is what I want to end on here. He did this to fully equip and perfect the saints, God's people, for works of service, the role of pastor, prophet, teacher, evangelist. What was the fifth one? Apostle. There we go, those five gifts and the gift of speaking in tongues and the gift of faith and the gift of generosity. All these gifts, it's not for us to show off our gifts. It's for us to be fully equipped and to equip others. And I want you to just circle that word equipment. Equip means to train. And then the other words, build up. These are all parts of maturing, maturing into who God's called us to be. I remember when I was 10 and my dad pulled me and my brother out from sleeping in on a Saturday morning. He kind of pulled open the curtains. He's like, wake up, there's money outside. We're like, really? He's like, it's all over the yard. And I ran out there looking for 20s and there was nothing but tall grass and leaves. I said, where's the money? He goes, you gotta work for it. I was like, but I don't know how, I don't have the equipment. He's like, good point. I'm going to equip you. Okay. All right. So equipping looks like someone who knows something that I don't know. Showing me and letting me use their equipment, their resources. He said, I have a lawnmower. Okay, well great. I don't even know how to start a lawnmower. He's like, you're gonna pull it like this, you're gonna prime it a little bit, get it going. Then you're gonna go down the line. He starts showing me and John, he's like, watch what I do. I can see Jesus telling his disciples, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna lay hands on the sick. Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna witness to people. Where? At your workplace. When? On Sundays? No. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Jesus is telling his disciples, here's what else you're gonna do. What? When people are tormented and depressed and overwhelmed. Let me show you. Let me show you. You're going to cast out demons. You're going to pray over your kids minds. You're going to take captive and you're going to bring people with mercy and grace. You're going to sit and eat with tax collectors and sinners. And when you see a woman that's caught in the act of adultery, you're not going to kick her out. You're going to get down in the dust. You're going to lift people up. You're going to minister to people. You're going to love people. This is the church, y'. All. This is the church. Jesus was equipping the church because he was saying, I'm leaving and I need you guys to carry this on. And he looks at Peter, the custom fisherman that cuts people's ears off, and he's like, peter, you're gonna help build the church. You're gonna preach the first sermon. Peter's like, me, I'm messed up. I'm a mess. He's like, no, you're a masterpiece. You're a rock. And I'm gonna build my church through people like you that are still figuring it out, that aren't perfect in all of your ways. You're a work in progress, like the roads of Jerusalem, but you're gonna get there. Peter and Thomas, I know you're doubting, but you're a part of this. You're gonna build the church. You're gonna go to Southeast Asia. You're gonna plant churches. And Matthew, I know you're a tax collector. You used to cheat people. You did some things without integrity, but, man, God's gonna work through you with such character and integrity. God, Jesus was raising his church. He was equipping people that weren't perfect. You know, the thing I love is that Jesus doesn't call the perfect people. He calls the surrendered people. He doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies those he calls. And that's good news for all of us. So my dad shows us how to mow a lawn. He shows us how to weed, eat. And he's like, here's the equipment. And me and John are, like, doing it. My dad's like, yes. He just sits over there, just drinking a sweet tea, just watching us work. And now my dad's in heaven and he's watching me work. And he's watching my brother work. He's watching my sisters work. I'm on this stage because he equipped me. He trained me at a young age. He taught me there's people in this room. God's called you to be equipped. And by the way, equipping is a three, three part process. It takes one person who knows something and is willing to teach. Takes secondly, another person who doesn't know something and wants to learn it. You know, can you imagine if my dad was Like, I want to equip. You and me and John were like, we don't want to be equipped. You know, My dad's like, I'm going to spank you for that, you know? No, but you got to have a heart to learn. You got to have a desire to learn. So you got to truly embrace. Like, I need to be equipped. I need to learn how to witness. I need to learn how to pray. I need to learn how to lead a connect group. I need to learn how to serve in the church and be a part of something that, that's bigger than me. And then thirdly, I gotta apply it. So it's someone that wants to teach it, someone that wants to learn it, and then someone that wants to apply it. And I gotta apply what God's teaching me to do. All of this is spiritual maturity. All of this is confronting the Peter Pan syndrome. Now let me just end today with a couple last thoughts, is that okay? And then I promise we'll dismiss. But I want to end with a couple last thoughts. How do we move out of the Peter Pan syndrome into spiritual maturity? Number one, you got to learn to let go. Learn to let go. What does it look like to leave Neverland? Learn to let go. Can you imagine if an 8 year old boy was still being breastfed by his mom? Don't imagine that. Sorry. Just forget that. Stop. Stop. I'm sorry. We need to renew our minds.
- [41:53]
B
We.
- [41:54]
A
What I'm trying to say is. That was not in my notes. I did not plan to say that. I know out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So Lord, renew my mind. I was not trying to say it like that. What I'm trying to say is that we can't stay immature forever. We can't stay infants forever. This new life requires path of maturity. Let go of the blankie. Let go of the pacifier. Let go of anything from the infancy stage. Number two. Take responsibility. Take responsibility. At some point we got to become responsible. That just means that I'm learning to grow up to take responsibility of the areas of my life that I used to delegate to everybody else to do for me. I'm going to take responsibility to read the Bible for myself. I'm going to take responsibility to worship even when the band's not playing my favorite song. Well, the set list wasn't that great for me. News flash, the set list wasn't written for you. It was written for him. Well, I just don't think those songs were really my style. It wasn't for you. We Weren't worshiping you, we were worshiping Jesus. Well, you know, the. A little too loud. Heaven's gonna be way louder than it is at victory in the 11am service. The sooner we take responsibility for our own areas that we like, want everyone else to do stuff for us. And you know what? I'm gonna worship Jesus whether I like the song or not. I'm gonna read my Bible. Whether it's Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Exodus, Leviticus. I'm gonna grow. I'm gonna grow where I want the word of God. Even if it's uncomfortable, even if it's not fun, even if it's not exciting. I'm gonna show up to church. And even if Pastor Paul's not preaching or if he is preaching and he's not preaching my favorite sermon, I'm gonna be. Because I'm taking responsibility for my spiritual growth. I'm gonna get involved. I'm gonna get connected. Number three, break up with insecurity. What does it look like to leave Neverland? And this is an ongoing process for me. I gotta continue to break free of insecure thoughts. The fear of man, the fear of what people think, the fear of missing it, the fear of not measuring up in people's eyes. The insecurities that are holding me back from fully developing as a follower of Christ. To fully develop. To fully develop it requires breaking free of insecurity. You know, going down to an altar call is one great way to break free of insecurity. And I remember when I was like the pastor's son and I had been in church for a long time, and I was like, 22. I think it was my senior year of college and my dad was preaching and I was sitting in the room and I was kind of convicted, but I was like, I shouldn't go down there because I serve in the church. I'm very involved. I'm an intern in the Young Adults ministry. People know I'm the pastor's son. If they see me go down to the altar, they're going to think I'm going down there to get saved. And I'm already saved. And finally the Holy Spirit was like, stop overanalyzing what everybody thinks and bring yourself to the altar. One of the greatest signs of maturity is humility. And humility says, I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm gonna get right with God. I'm gonna get free of fear. I'm gonna give this over to the Lord. I'm casting my cares on the Lord. Holy Spirit, work in me. Break free. Number four, Embrace the pain of change. Embrace. Embrace the pain of change, but don't major on it. Part of growing up is embracing change. No more recess in sixth grade. That's painful. Part of growing up spiritually is learning to be flexible and not be bent out of shape. Plans change, things change. And not losing your cool when you don't get your way. Keeping the peace. Embracing the pain of change. God's changing you. He's changing people around you. He's pulling you into a deeper level of trusting in him. Even through the storms, each new chapter of life is filled with pain and joy. Don't let the pain be the major thing in your life. Recognize there's more things to celebrate than there is to be sad about. Number five, stop being selfish. That's a big one. I need to keep growing in this. How many all are still growing in this? Yeah. I feel like every week, God. God's like, saying, come on, Paul, release the selfishness. Give it over. Give it over. Give it over. Selfishness. Getting over myself. What I want. Paul says, do nothing out of selfish ambition. Do nothing out of vain conceit. Do nothing. That's all about you. In humility. Consider others better than yourself. Selfishness is the result of pride. The selfishness motto is, I want what I want because what I want is more important than what what you want. My way, not your way. That is Lucifer's motto, and it's rooted out of pride. And Lucifer fell from heaven all because he wanted what he wanted. And he got what he wanted, and he lost his power and authority. Number six, final point right here. Believe your future is bright. How do I leave Neverland? How do I break up with the Peter Pan syndrome? I believe that the future is bright. Growing up is the greatest adventure of all. David transitioned from being a shepherd boy to being a worship leader under Saul, to being a cave dweller, to being a king of Israel, to being a father that hands off the baton to Solomon. Moses transitioned from a palace to a wilderness, from a wilderness to being a leader, to the people of Israel walking through the Red Sea and handing the baton off to Joshua. Joseph transitioned from being a teenage dreamer to. To being a pit dweller, to being a servant in a house where he was accused of crimes he didn't commit, to being a prisoner, to being second in command, to forgiving the people that hurt him. Everything. As I keep transitioning, I keep growing into all the different parts God's called me to fulfill. I want you to stand your feet all over this place. This is what Paul the APostle said in First Corinthians 13, verse 11. He talks about growing up. And he says this. When I was a child, I spoke and I thought and I reasoned as a child. But I love this part right here. When I grew up, when I grew up, everybody say grow up. I put away childish things. What things do you and I need to lay down? What areas does the Holy Spirit just say? Man, I really want to help you grow in this. If you would yield to me, I could help you overcome. I could help you have victory in your mind, your heart, your body, your attitude. I could help you, but you're going to have to surrender. I want us just to close our eyes all over this place, Lord. I just pray right now, God, that you would help us all in this room to confront our own lives, our own own hearts, and ask you, God, to search us. Search me, Lord. Search my mind, search my heart. See if there's anything in me, God, that's not of you. Change me from the inside out, God. Develop me. Mature me. Mature me, Lord. Mature me, God. I'm sorry where I've missed it. I'm sorry where I've sounded not Christlike in my words, my attitude. God, I receive your mercy and grace. I'm not going to stay down in a place of sadness. I'm embracing the change, the growth you're doing in me. And I'm looking with eyes bright on the future that the best days are in front of me. As I keep growing into who you've called me to be, I just feel to encourage somebody. Your best days are still in front of you. Your best days are still in front of you. I ran into someone a while ago and they said, man, you remember high school football? I said, yeah, they're like, those were the glory days, man. Those were the good old days. Like Uncle Rico on Napoleon Dynamite, just talking about throwing the pigskin a corner, quarter mile. I missed the glory days. I believe my glory days are still in front of me. I believe the good days are still in front of us. I don't want to stay stuck in the past. I'm thankful Ash and I experienced some great memories when we were dating and engaged. When we were leading the college ministry here at Victory was awesome. We went on some fun trips with teenagers, young adults. But as we've gotten older, in our third 30s and now 40, I feel like there's like this excitement. Like, you know what? Growing up is exciting. Growing up spiritually, growing up in life, trusting that God has great days in front of us. I just pray that over someone in the room today that God is going to open your eyes to see. Your best days are not behind you. Your best memories, your most nostalgic moments, where you experience the greatest excitement of your life is not behind you, my friend. It's still in front of you, sir. It's still in front of you, ma'.
- [51:09]
B
Am.
- [51:09]
A
I know you had some good memories with that person that you lost. I know you had some good memories with those friends that you've lost. I know you had some great times at that old season in your life. But God says, look up. Look up. Your best days are still in front of you. They're still in front of you. As you keep growing, you are going to see greater joy, greater miracles, greater. Greater favor, greater excitement, greater laughter, greater fulfillment on the other side of your spiritual growth with heads bowed and eyes closed. If you're here today and you say, man, I needed this word and I want to surrender today an area of my life to the Holy Spirit to keep working on me, I want you to just raise your hand up all over this room. Yes, sir. Yes, ma'.
- [51:52]
B
Am.
- [51:52]
A
Yes. Yeah. Hands going up all over this room. You're saying, man, I need to embrace some growing pains that God is doing. Doing in my life. And he has challenged me to grow in some areas. Hands going up. I need to surrender to the Holy Spirit. Secondly, you're here today and you say, I just need to repent. I need to get right with God. If that's you, raise your hand. Today's your day to receive his forgiveness, his salvation, his mercy and grace. Lastly, you're here and you say, paul, I need grace. I'm in a season that is very hard right now, and I need the grace of God in this season. His grace is here. If that's you, just raise your hand. You need grace today. It's here.
- [52:23]
B
Here.
- [52:23]
A
If you raised your hand for any of those, would you leave your seat? Come and meet me at this altar. We're going to cheer on brave men, brave women, moms and dads, husbands, wives, sons, daughters, singles, college students, young professionals. Whatever season of life you're in, come and meet me at the altar. Let's just worship. Let's let the Holy Spirit do a fresh work in us. I promise we'll dismiss in just a few minutes, but let's let the Holy Spirit just minister in this place to every person that's coming down to the altar. If you decide you want to come down to the altar, come join us if you need to. Just give something to God, come join us. Let's just sing this song. Go ahead, Virginia. Jesus. Jesus, Holy Spirit. Here I am to worship God. Here I am, Lord, I surrender.
- [53:18]
B
You're all together love me. All together worthy, all together wonderful to me.
- [53:30]
A
Here I am, Lord. God, I thank you for your mercy and grace. Thank you, thank you, God, for your love. Thank you, God. You never give up on us. You never give up on us. Thank you, God. You're working in me. You're working in us. Help me, Lord, to trust you. Help me, God, to surrender my fear, my insecurity. Help me to surrender, God, every area of my life to you. In Jesus name that I can hold.
- [54:20]
B
Together wonder say here I am.
- [54:29]
A
Here.
- [54:34]
B
I am to say that you're my love. You're all together lovely, all together worthy, all together wonder to see my upon that cross. And I'll never know how much it cost to seem my.
- [55:26]
A
God, you paid the price for my sins. God, you wash me, you cleanse me. God, you purify me. God, God, renew our minds, renew our hearts. God, make us holy. God, make us more like you.
- [55:44]
B
See my sin upon that.
- [56:19]
A
He loves you. He loves you. He's for you.
- [56:22]
B
He's for you.
- [56:24]
A
He's with you. He lives in you. He says you're a strong and mighty warrior. You're chosen, you're forgiven. You've been adopted into his family. He calls you his son. He says, I've got grace for you. God's grace is sufficient for us.
- [56:46]
B
Wonderful to say here I am, here I am to worship. Here I am to bow down. Here I am to say that you're my God. You're all together lovely, all together worthy. All together together wonderful to me. So I will make room for you to do whatever you want to. To do whatever you want to. And I will make room for.
- [57:39]
A
To.
- [57:39]
B
Do whatever you want to. To do whatever you want to. So I will make room for you. And I will make room you for you.
- [58:06]
A
God, thank you for your love. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you God, for your kind. Thank you God, for grace.
- [58:30]
B
And I will make room for you to do whatever you want to. Do whatever you want to. I will make room for you.
- [58:52]
A
To.
- [58:52]
B
Do whatever you want to. To do whatever you want to. And I will room for you.
- [59:10]
A
God, do whatever you want to in my life. Just put your hand on your heart say, jesus, thank you for your grace in my life. I receive your grace in this season. Holy Spirit, work in me, mature me, grow me, develop me into who God's called me to be. More of you, Jesus, less of this world. I want to be influenced by you, Jesus. Your presence, your word, your spirit. You can change me, God. I'm open to it. Thank you Holy Spirit, that you never give up on me. Jesus, be my Lord and Savior. I repent of my sin. I receive your forgiveness and I believe you live in me. So my best days are right in front of me and I have victory in this life. In Jesus name, amen. And Amen. I love you. God loves you. Be blessed.